Happy long weekend! (!) And we'll see you back here on Tuesday...
boats, open thread
Happy Thanksgiving, Canadians! What are you doing for the holiday? What are you thankful for????
I am going to Canada with the baybee for October!
And @melis and I had suuuuch a good weekend and we pretended to do Joan Fontaine voices the whole time.
@Nicole Cliffe And I'm coming back for American Thanksgiving don't forget!!!!
WAIT, are you coming as Melis or Evil Melis? IT WILL CHANGE THE MENU.
(turkey v. manflesh)
@The Lady of Shalott I will start: I am thankful that I am living with my awesome boyfriend whom I love.
For the holiday, I am helping to cook a big dinner on Sunday! I am bringing awesome stuffing (that contains bacon) and my excellent pumpkin pies! It is me and the man, another couple, and three other soldiers who can't make it home to be with their families. I am making two pies and two pans of stuffing because I LOVE PIE and frankly that is the best way to feed seven people, five of whom eat enough food to feed a Marine base.
@The Lady of Shalott I am thankful for health, love, the gorgeous weather, and the ungodly number of people coming over to my house to feast this weekend.
@The Lady of Shalott I am also thankful for beautiful weather!! And the usual - health, a place to live, etc. - BUT ALSO that my mama and her bf are coming to visit this weekend!!!
@The Lady of Shalott I am thankful for my happy internet communities.
I foresee lots of yardwork in my weekend, as well as a bit of sewing, some chores, and a dinner with friends (tomorrow night).
@Nicole Cliffe I am going to my family's cottage and my grandparents and cousins will all be there; it's gonna be funnnn! When I get back on Sunday I am going to my lady pal's vegan Friendsgiving and am bringing balsamic-roasted brussels sprouts :)
I am thankful for my new job (with benefits!), and for my amazing lady friends who are awesome.
I'm going up north with my famjam and I am thankful for so many things! Beautiful weather, supportive family and friends, having the guts to turn down a job opportunity at a workplace that is toxic for me, having a game plan for next year that has held my interest for over a week ...
and of course turkey, gravy, all that. Happy thanksgivin' y'all!
@The Lady of Shalott Awww, you are awesome for helping the soldiers who can't go home to feel like they have a family on base! <3 <3 <3
@The Lady of Shalott I am thankful you reminded me it is Canadian Thanksgiving, so maybe I can surprise my Canadian friends who just happen to be visiting! SURPRISE TURKEY.
@The Lady of Shalott I am going to my boyfriend's parent's cabin to deepfry a turkey and get stinking drunk with other random cabin-folk. I have to bring vegetables and I'm stumped.
I am thankful that I have a bunch of new trashy books to read this weekend.
@MilesofMountains Not super cabin-y, but this is DIVINE in terms of thanksgiving veg.
@RobotsNeedLove That is perfect! I just got a bag of yellow chantrelles in my veggie box that I need to do something with.
@The Lady of Shalott I am going to a Paleo Thanksgiving on Sunday that some friends are hosting. It's going to be a bit odd not having bread, but they have promised pie.
@The Lady of Shalott What a nice thread thought. :-) I am thankful I am home and loved and employed, for my wonderful ladyfriend, that said wonderful ladyfriend did not have to be admitted to the hospital today for Potential Scary Health Stuff as we worried, for being back in the city where I belong with friends who love me fiercely and for all the mashed potatoes and red wine I am gonna consume on Sunday. And for Gillian Welch.
@Cat named Virtute I'm thankful for being able to go on vacation omg yay hurrah. I am also thankful for Thanksgiving foods.
@planforamiracle My brothers and I celebrate Thanksibling, which also has Friendsgiving folded in!
HAHAHAHAHA this is great@l
SUPER SMOOTH FLIRTING, YOU GUYS.
I was approached an attractive nude model I'd drawn in art class. We chatted, and I offered him a brownie. He began talking about a diet he was on, touched his (wide, sexy) hips, and sighed "would YOU want this ass?"
Slow, appraising look--"I think I DO want that ass."
And then he got my phone number.
GUYS I'M GONNA GET LAID YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
Oh PS, who here thinks Cubones are orphaned Kangaskhans? I do not buy that for a second! The mother's skulls are triangular like a Charizard, and Kangaskhans' head shape is way more circular. I ask 'cause that's the costume I've settled on and I'd been paper-macheing this all day.
PPS This is why smoothness is a triumph. This right here ^
@Inkling Wow, super smooth. Hope he calls!
Cubones! No way, they're completely different creatures. My best friend made a Cubone costume for our Pokemon group for a convention several years ago, so right on!
@Inkling Holy shit, that is stone cold fox style flirting!
@Inkling I BOW DOWN TO YOU.
@Inkling I SAID A BANG, BANG, A BANGITY BANG
@Inkling FIST. BUMP.
@Inkling Everything about your comment and, clearly, your life is magnificent. Thank you for sharing.
Also I'm pretty sure it's on the record, word of god that Cubones are totally separate. DUH.
@Inkling I think I'm more impressed with the guy for not passing right out!
YES. YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS.
@Inkling Clearly, you need to give me lessons on smoothness.
@Inkling You are my hero.
@katiemcgillicuddy Sorry, I have no idea why, but shit keeps double posting. Although, you kind of deserve two so whatever.
@JessicaLovejoy I had to look this up and I'm now so terribly glad I did.
That is the BEST. Congrats, and enjoy! ;)
@Inkling You are fucking immense. (But conversely, Cubones make me weeeeee-eeeeep. Mothers' skulls? Whyyyyy. Please correct that myth anyway you can thank you muchly)
@questingbeast The skulls always remind me of an inherited mood disorder like depression, or the cycle of child abuse. The wounded child inherits a gruesome burden from the absent mother that becomes part of him in his adulthood.
Cubones are my favorite! Great costume.
SHUCKS, YOU GUYS :) I've been sick all weekend, but I anticipate I'll ride that ass shortly.
FOR AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER FANS
Long ago, Avatar: The Last Airbender had the best music on television. Then, everything changed when it went off the air. Only wee_ramekin, mistress of Grooveshark playlists, was able to gather all the songs together into one playlist, and when the world needed it most, she shared it with them. 100 minutes have passed since she first thought of creating this playlist and sharing it with her friends, the commenters on the Hairpin, but although wee_ramekin's listening skills are great, she's got a lot to learn before she's ready to hum along to every tune. But I believe....THIS PLAYLIST WILL SAVE THE WORLD.
♫♪DOO doo doo doo, BAH DAH DAH, bah dah daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah♫♪
@wee_ramekin Baby, you're my forever girl.
@anachronistique Flameo, hotman. Hotman. Hotman.
@wee_ramekin I love you more than I fear Azula.
I cannot wait to listen to this. I'm pretty sure it will start a fresh marathon.
@wee_ramekin WHAT YOU JUST MADE MY LAST HOUR OF WORK 1000% MORE TOLERABLE!!!!
@OhMarie I've been listening to it all day, and believe me, it makes the workday seem hella epic. My boss came into my office to copy something while this playlist was playing, and she was like "Wow, I feel like I'm doing something really important right now".
Also, this list includes the entirety of the Nomad's song list from the episode where they get stuck in the Lovers' Cave, and I had forgotten one of my favorite lines of his which goes: "....SECRET TUNNEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!! SECRET TUNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!". So. I'll be sing/screaming that all weekend. #w0ot
@wee_ramekin You are so cool. Not even joking.
@wee_ramekin OMGGGGGGG, YOU'RE MY HERO.
@wee_ramekin STAY FLAMIN'
@wee_ramekin Ooooh dude, look which handsome villain just got a write-up: http://www.paperdroids.com/2012/10/05/fangirl-friday-zuko/
@adorable-eggplant Guys. Guys! Did you all know that Zuko is voiced by Rufio from Hook? If so I'll be over here in the corner being embarrassed, but this blew my fucking mind when I figured it out. Ru-fi-ooooooohhhhh!
@withatwist Also, I love starting a fresh marathon. One of the best months of my life was when my husband and I blew through our first Avatar re-watch, like, 3 episodes at a time.
@wee_ramekin A couple of my friends were talking about going as the nomads for Dragon Con but I think it fell through. Which is a shame, because wandering the halls going SECRET TUNNELLLLLLLL sounds like the most fun ever.
@wee_ramekin Fucking genius.
So we watched Appa's Lost Days while eating dinner (because that's where we were in our most recent run-through) and it devastates me every time. I'm pretty sure the reason I want a large dog has more to do with trying to create my own Appa than to do with growing up with Great Danes.
Every October, my husband and I watch a ton of horror movies (we started with Insidious the other night). We are kind of stumped for ideas this year, so if anyone has suggestions on good horror flicks to watch, I would love to hear them. For what it's worth, my two favorite ones to come out in the last few years are The Strangers and House of the Devil.
Oh, also...I definitely prefer newer movies, mainly because I have seen all the classics (Psycho, Carrie, Halloween, Friday the 13th, The Thing, the "...of the Dead"s, etc.).
Thank you a bunch in advance!!
@olivebee Have you seen Let the Right One In? That was pretty creeptastic. It's in Swedish (I think). I haven't seen the remake (which is in English).
@olivebee Do you stream Netflix? They have a lot of Asian horror (especially Korean and Thai) on there, and I've really enjoyed the vast majority of what I've seen.
Also, Yellow Brick Road! One of the best atmospheric horror movies I've seen in a while. A little gory, but I hate gore and I could stand it.
@olivebee You should check out Joey Comeau's horror movie blog, he has some good recs there.
@olivebee Cabin in the Woods was good if you haven't seen that yet.
Surprisingly I liked the Paranormal Activity ones when I watched them with my boyfriend. They are kind of slow, but nice for a relaxing evening.
Thanks for the idea though, because I'm in the mood to watch me some horror now!
@olivebee Have you seen the original The Haunting? So scary. Or the original House on Haunted Hill
@olivebee: Haute Tension straight up scared me (and made me laugh at some points) and I'm not easily scared.
@olivebee REC and The Devil's Backbone are both Spanish-language. Lots of good horror movies coming out of Spain. And for scary beast themes, Troll Hunter is amazing (it's Norwegian and on Netflix).
@olivebee The Orphanage was one of the scariest movies I've ever seen!
@olivebee I tried to catch up on classic horror movies around Halloween last year. AMC was playing a bunch of Halloween movies and we ended up watching Halloween III. Having no idea that it was so... different from the rest of the franchise, we were alternately confused and enthralled by the ridiculousness.
5 more days till Halloween, Halloween, Halloween!*
*That is an imitation of the song in the movie, I am aware that it is only October 5th.
@lavender gooms I know realize how difficult it is to differentiate "movies about Halloween/horror movies" and "movies from the actual Halloween franchise" in my previous post. Sorry!
@olivebee It's not super new, but Trick R Treat--my boyfriend convinced me (horror-averse) to watch it last Halloween and I loved it a lot. And seconding Cabin In The Woods, as it is the best especially if you're a fan of the classics.
@olivebee I wouldn't even know how one would get a copy of this, but the original British TV movie of "The Woman in Black" is the creepiest ghost story movie ever. Not horror/gore but atmospheric psychological torment. *shudder*
ETA - in your classics viewing you have seen "Dead of Night" yes? Also very creepy.
@olivebee It's circa 2001, but Session 9 is excellent!
A list of good trigger-free (no sexual violence, in this case) horror movies, with some comments!
@olivebee I know you said you prefer newer movies, but there are 2 horror movies I'm dying to see and thought I'd pass them on to you. One is Q: The Winged Serpent and the other is Shock Waves. The first one is from 1982 and is about the Aztec God Quetzalcoatl who is a winged serpent that invades New York and bites the heads off people. The other is from 1977 and is about an island inhabited by a crazy Nazi scientist and his Nazi zombies. If anyone has seen these, please tell me if they are worth seeing!
@olivebee Ooh, have you seen American Horror Story? A lot of it is more campy than scary but it's also GREAT and combines like five different horror tropes into one story. Plus, Jessica Lange is fantastic in it, as are Connie Britton and Zachary Quinto. Season 1 is definitely on iTunes, might be on Netflix too?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Seconding Trick R Treat! It's usually streaming on Netflix.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher This movie is my Halloween tradition now! So good/campy/creepy!
@olivebee: It's more fun but: Cabin in the Woods! Cabin in the Woods!
Okay, *I* am not qualified to answer this question, but someone very near and dear to me has compiled a list of 150 Essential Horror Movies. And he has excellent taste. In women. And movies.
Oh wait, he's still compiling. He's at 128. Watch this space!
@supernintendochalmers Oh.my.word. YES! Seconding American Horror Story so hard. I'm not so much into horror movies, but I followed American Horror Story rabidly. I introduced it to friends, co-workers, even my parents, and all of us loved it. I am so excited for the premiere!
@olivebee Yesss and season 2 looks so cool already! Creepy mental institution/psycho doctor is my favorite subgenre of horror.
@supernintendochalmers I'm dying to see what if any crossover we'll get with the first season.
@somuchsugar You must mean the Spanish film? I made the mistake of watching that while I working in a foreign country with only my supervisor and his family for company. I had to suffer my nightmares alone but man that was an awesome movie.
@olivebee Last night, I saw Room 237. It's not really a horror movie, but a documentary about fan theories/interpretations of The Shining. Though it did give me intense Shining Memory Creeps, so it may count! Also, I didn't love all of the segments in V/H/S, but I thought it was overall fun and interesting.
@olivebee I'm gonna suggest:
* May, a creepy little movie about a strange, lonely girl who figures out a way to make friends (it's actually pretty gory, but also kind of sweet in a very, very twisted way);
* Cabin Fever, a sort of proto-Cabin in the Woods that riffs on classic slashers but with a body horror twist;
* Splinter, a monster movie with a monster unlike anything you've ever seen before, and generally great writing (I love horror movies that actually bother to write characters, and this is a great example of making that look easy);
* The Descent, if you haven't seen it, but you probably have?
* Dying Breed, an incredibly brutal and disturbing Australian horror with, again, some proper writing and character-establishing work;
* Sexy Killer, a Spanish postmodern horror comedy that I love more than is entirely rational;
* The Burrowers, a monster movie set in the Old West;
* Babysitter Wanted, a surprisingly great movie about a girl who takes a babysitting job and, um, gets more than she bargained for. Saying any more would spoil it, but it doesn't go where you think it's going to go, and it's great.
...And all the [REC] movies. All three of them are fantastic.
@laserbeams And! I forgot Julia's Eyes, which is another amazing Spanish horror movie that's sort of, in some ways, a neo-giallo except it works and most of them don't. It's about a woman who's going blind, and the film sort of mirrors her experience, limiting what we can see, and it's super creepy.
Spain is killing it on the horror front lately.
A freak water main break at my office gave me a four-day weekend! I got to chat with my former coworkers (their building was fine), go to the gym and the library, and spend 40 minutes on the phone with my mom. Best Friday in a while.
@cuminafterall Also I'm listening to this Youtube playlist of African guitar music right now and it is GREAT. Every once in a while Teju Cole tweets 10 songs around a certain theme, and they're always awesome.
@cuminafterall Thank you for this!
Oh yay. OK: I need a new wardrobe. Most of my clothes are in tatters. I have an interview next week at a SUPER FASHIONABLE company (I'm pretty sure every employee there considers Vogue and Elle equivalent to Bible) and I'm really excited about it, but it's made me realize -- whether or not I get the job, my wardrobe is super pathetic and half of my clothes have holes in them. It's embarrassing. I have a good sense of style but just rarely shop / get overwhelmed when I do, so I've decided to drop a little cash on redoing my wardrobe.
SO PINNERS: If you had $250-$300 to create a high-quality, work-appropriate (but NOT suits and button ups -- think super-fashiony PR company) where would you start? Just thinking about this overwhelms me. I want as many mixable pieces as possible, and I don't want Forever 21 or H&M quality.
@terrific Check out Reiss! I'm obsessed with their clothes. Very fashion-forward but also wearable. Don't know how far $300 will take you there, but maybe you can find some stuff on sale?
@terrific Here's the link for the Reiss "outlet" (aka sale, if you are a normal person).
I would go to Goodwill or another thrift store if you're willing to take the time to hunt and try things on and hunt again. I usually spend 3-5 hours at Goodwill when I go, which I know can be rough if you don't generally like shopping, but you can find quality stuff! Otherwise...I dunno. Nordstrom Rack?
@terrific I've had good luck with TJ Maxx, Marshall's, Loehmann's, Nordstrom Rack and Century 21 for finding brand name clothing at a discount. Depending on your personal style I would also recommend checking out some mid-level thrift stores (i.e., boutiques where you can find some nice pieces around $20-50, not Salvation Army). The most fashionable people I know lean heavy on good thrift store pieces.
@terrific Also, consignment stores and resale shops that are a little more carefully curated than thrift shops are great. More expensive than thrift stores, but less digging. Also, shopruche.com is my favorite website for drooling over cute things.
@terrific DRESSES. Especially ones that can look different with different accessories (cardigan, scarf, necklace, flats, heels, boots, etc.). I <3 dresses because they instantly look pulled together, and picking accessories is easier than coordinating tops and bottoms before the coffee has kicked in.
@terrific I suggest Madewell for some classy, trendy-ish basics - you can usually find large percentage discounts on their clearance racks.
If you can't bear the digging required for flat out thrifting, consignment stores are great.
I have to look "professional" but have a fair amount of leeway (not a suit every day unless I want to) and I buy a lot of my work clothes at Boden. (bodenusa.com) Quality is very good, and they have frequent sales and discount offers. Some of their stuff goes a little too far into the Mumsy Zone (what is with all the empire waists!) but they are well worth checking out.
@terrific Also, don't overwhelm yourself trying to buy everything at once. I was in the same place when I graduated college and I went crazy trying to buy EVERYTHING I NEED NOW. Maybe get a couple of nice dresses for interviews and some decent shoes and collect the rest over time.
ALSO: A tailored black jacket will cover a myriad of wardrobe sins in a glaze of professionalism. It's like magic.
@supernintendochalmers Consiiiiiiignment!! There are SO many consignment stores in my town and they are hella picky about what they buy. Many of them have "personal shopper"-type people on staff who can go through and help you put together the core of a great wardrobe.
And another shout-out for dresses, especially basics that you can pump up with great (cheap) accessories.
@City_Dater Yes to Boden as well! I am slowly building my Boden wardrobe, and my best compliment days are the days I'm wearing something Boden.
@terrific I would spend it on an awesome pair of jeans and an awesome pair of boots. (Assuming jeans are work appropriate? I've always worked in creative jobs...) And then buy this jacket, for $79 which will make all of your old shirts look better. Only buy the black jacket though, the other colors look chintzy in real life. When you get the job, buy new shirts and sweaters.
@terrific Yuuup dresses, and consignment shops (especially those in upscale 'hoods). But if you do get the job you're gonna need to spend a lot more money than that if all of your clothes are in tatters!
@terrific I buy a lot of work clothes at The Limited. Sometimes I love their collection and sometimes it doesn't do anything for me.
@terrific Think of the brands you like and find out if they have catalogue return stores in your area. We have one that has Urban Outfitter/J.Crew/Anthro and others for about half of the price. I also second boutique/thrift stores.
@terrific A high waisted black pencil skirt is always chic and versatile.
@TheclaAndTheSeals For these, I would look at eshakti.com. I haven't tried them yet, but only because I currently live outside North America.
@terrific I'd do a mix of thrift stores, consignment, places like Nordstrom Rack/TJ Maxx/Filene's Basement (in areas with good selections) and the rest at Zara (I got a suit jacket there that was awesome and works just as well in a suit as it does with jeans and cool boots). Zara also has really great blazers and coats and if you don't have a huge difference between your waist and your hips the dresses will probably work for you too (otherwise just stick to tops and skirts, that's what I do). Also check out J.Crew and Madewell outlets or sale sections.
ETA: Also, way later save up some money and get these boots. This brand is super comfortable (I have had a bunch of foot operations and now I buy most of my shoes here and it's soo comfy and they last forever).
Yay, the first time I get to participate (read quietly lurk) in FOT. I just moved to the US last friday and have spent the week apartment hunting in NYC with the no longer long distance boyfriend, settling into my job which mainly consists of yelling at IT depts in both London and NY.
Also I don't know if this is a typical symptom of jet laggedness (is that even a word?) but I always feel I'm a lot more hungrier when I'm here. Back home, I have a small breakfast mid morning, decent sized lunch and then usually just a snack for dinner. Here, I am eating ALL the time.
Wow, that was long. How's everybody else's week been?
@khaleesi Welcome to NYC neighbor! Not sure about the increase in appetite, but the fall weather definitely increases my appetite. Also, there are yummy things to eat every few feet so that doesn't help either :)
@khaleesi I boredom eat at work a lot, so I dunno.
@CrescentMelissa @smidege Yeah I'm definitely a fan of the pancakes! Don't think its boredom as I'm actually, properly starving. I think it might be the time difference throwing my internal body clock out of whack or something.
@khaleesi Jet lag makes me STARVING. I get off the plane and want to eat all the things as soon as I wake up from a six-hour nap. But yeah, also the mealtimes become very strange on your internal clock when you're jetlagged. Like, "Sorry, what? You're eating at 2:00 a.m. but NOT at 7:00 p.m.? NO."
@khaleesi It's probably the jet lag, but maybe there's actually something in the water and that's why we're all so fat? Pass the food.
I need some help, 'Pinners. I'm looking for something to give my friend who just had her 2nd child. We had gotten together & bought a necklace off Etsy for another friend, and I want to do something similar. The only thing is, I can't find anything I like for her on Etsy. She's very big into costume jewelry, and I don't think she'd like the literal 'mother' necklaces they have. Now I don't even know if I want to get her jewelry or something else. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and I'm looking to keep it under $50.
@Spicy Bubbles www.myhabit.com is pretty good...
@Spicy Bubbles If she's into rings namesring.com has affordable options. I think they make great stacking rings, which sometimes costume jewelry people are into. You could do mother or the child's name, or both children's initials.
@Spicy Bubbles Big sparkly earrings?
@Spicy Bubbles Something with family birthstones? Also, everything withatwist said.
@Spicy Bubbles Thanks everybody for the advice! I'm still not sure what I'm going to do, but I appreciate the input.
@TheLetterL I like this idea. Less obvious than most new mom jewelry, but still something special for the occasion.
@Spicy Bubbles Check out catbirdnyc? I like a lot of their stuff, and they have a curated gift suggestion list for moms (but, like, hip moms).
Success! I am almost done with Week 1 of my new and wonderful job. I bike commuted ALL WEEK, plus new job didn't bat an eye when I asked if I could take a random day off because my mom is coming to visit. Life is good.
FINALLY we finish moving into our new house, complete with sleeping there the first night. Tonight is the last night in our apartment. So excited! Also so so so very exhausted with moving this entire week.
I have a Halloween-related question. My department has a history of doing group costumes, but last year (my first year at this job) they didn't, so I just did my own thing, and was one of like four people in our department to even dress up. This year, though, the theme is "mushrooms and gnomes"--could be cute, could be dorky. I had already kinda thought about my own thing in case there wasn't a theme costume (they didn't announce it until last week), and I like my own idea better than getting in on the theme costume. Will it look weird/deliberately snotty to dress up off-theme, though? There's so much passive aggression in this department that I imagine at least one person will take it as a slight. Maybe I should just wear regular clothes. (Or maybe I'm just overthinking this.)
@frigwiggin can you save your original idea for a costume for a party, and go as a mushroom for your company? I'm thinking red sweatshirt with white felt circles pinned on, and white sweatpants. Boom, you're a mushroom.
Is there a different party you can wear your cool costume to, and placate the weirdo department with a theme-fitting one? Think of it like getting a dumb writing prompt in English class--totally not what you're into, still a good chance to show off your creativity.
CHARLES THAT'S MY IDEA
You could be all manner of nymph or fairy like this. Or frog princess (with golden ball!). It could be awesome.
@charlesbois Yeahhhh, maybe. I should just ask the person organizing things what the details are and make my decision. (Things are further complicated by the fact that the other people in my particular part of the department don't really like the people organizing this, and I might look like a scab if I get involved. UGH OFFICE POLITICS AMIRITE)
@frigwiggin oh my gosh, that's too much politics for Halloween. Stay home and have a monster movie marathon?
@charlesbois Hahaha, right? I wish I could. Then again, everybody knows that homie (homie = me) don't play that, so maybe I'll just be a damn mushroom and be done with it.
@frigwiggin or is there some other kind of fungus you could go as? So you're like kind of participating but also kind of not being a scab? Is algae a fungus?
@smidge I thought about going as, like, a deathcap or something just to be snarky! Hmm...
@frigwiggin Maybe wear a basic outfit (boots, leggings, jacket?) and bring a gnome hat and beard that can be easily stashed in your desk if things get weird.
@frigwiggin Friend of mine in grad school went as Mario one year: red overalls, glue-on mustache, white gloves, and a red ball cap with a Styrofoam mushroom on a piece of wire so it stuck up over her head like in the game. Alternatively you could also be Amelie in a tiny skirt, stompy shoes, carrying a gnome. (I hope I am remembering the movie correctly and she does actually carry the gnome at some point.)
@frigwiggin Mushrooms & gnomes isn't really a theme though? Just, two quite dull options? (I'd say do your own thing if they weren't keen last year. But I am famously not a team player, so maybe oppose my advice)
@Nicole Sauvage@twitter And the gnome could have all kinds of postcards! And you could mail some postcards w/ a gnome pasted on them to your office mates the couple of weeks before...
YOU COULD HAVE PINNERS AROUND THE WORLD DO IT!
You could skip the costume altogether and just be the post-card mailing gnome mastermind. And on Halloween day he could just be, like, sitting on the receptionist's desk or wherever, or by the watercooler or in the breakroom with a bag of candy and a "my gnome went to Acapulco and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" shirt.
heh heh heh.
@PistolPackinMama Bwahahahaha! I think I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
"Boom, you're a mushroom"
"I'll just be a damn mushroom and be done with it"
"bring a gnome hat and beard that can be easily stashed in your desk if things get weird"
"is there some other kind of fungus you could go as"
"Mushrooms & gnomes isn't really a theme though"
I love this thread
ENJOY YOUR IMPERIALIST GENOCIDAL HOLIDAY ON MONDAY, YOU JERKS WHO HAVE IT OFF WORK!
@SuperGogo I'm almost proud to go to work. I DONT SUPPORT THIS and luckily neither does my company even though I would totally take the day off if it was an option...
@SuperGogo Yeah, the only good ("good") thing about not having Columbus Day off when all my friends do is that I can say to them "Oh, my company doesn't recognize Columbus Day" in a withering tone.
@SuperGogo I'm planning to go around discovering places where people already live in celebration.
@SuperGogo I am inadvertently off work on Monday--not because it's Columbus Day, but because I'm leaving for ten days straight of work in the desert on Tuesday. Yay/boo.
@SuperGogo Ohhh... Here I was wondering WHAT holiday was Monday since I don't have the day off. Columbus Day. aha.
I think we take MLK Day off, in exchange for Columbus Day.
@SuperGogo I'm pretty sure my company wouldn't give us ANY holidays if they could have it their way, we really only get the super huge ones. Columbus Day does not count as super huge.
@SuperGogo yikes, for a second I thought you were talking about Canadian thanksgiving.... you're not, right?????
@SuperGogo I work for state government and we don't have it off, but we have "Alaska Day" on Oct. 18th off.
@SuperGogo When I lived in South Dakota, it was Native American Day. Boom. Day off, AND we got to assuage our collective guilty conscience at the same time. Win-win.
@planforamiracle No worries, I'm definitely dissing Columbus Day. On principle. Not from jealousy of those off work. Nope.
Seriously, though, if you want to sign this petition, maybe this is the last year we have Columbus Day because next year it will be known as Exploration Day! (except we'll still have to work it probably)
@SuperGogo I'm technically off (as in the office is closed) BUUUUUT we have to go to mandatory staff training instead. So there's that.
@SuperGogo Here in California, it's Indigenous Peoples' Day and I (a teacher) totally don't have to go to work.
@SuperGogo As an Italian-American, it always pissed me off that we don't get somebody better for "our" holiday. I'm sure we could find a better person of Italian descent who was in America!
I always nominate Sacco and Vanzetti.
You guys, can we discuss Britney Spears on the X Factor? I've never watched a talent show reality tv show, like American Idol, but for some reason I was glued to the screen last night watching B.Spears make some serious crazy faces at the singers. It made me want to get a tattoo of her attacking the car with an umbrella with a freshly shaved head. (I'm now a fan, is what I'm trying to say.)
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I unashamedly watch Glee and they recently did another Britney episode which made me download her Baby One More Time album. Along with having been listening to Destiny's Child Independent Women the last week, I'm feeling pretty 90s at the moment.
I haven't had a chance to watch X Factor yet but I always love the audition stages.
@khaleesi OH MY GOD can we also talk about Glee? Because I haven't watched it in forever and then last night they *SPOILER* break up Santana and Britany? W.T.F.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose aww boo, I hadn't seen last night's episode yet! But that's not a major spoiler so its ok. I've just moved from London to the US and have fallen behind on so many of my shows. Except Greys but after how last season ended, I HAD to watch it!
I can't believe they would break them, they were so adorable together.
@khaleesi If you look back, are you lost?
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I have spent like 10mins trying to work out what you mean haha. I think it might be a quote from Brittany in Glee but I'm terrible at remembering lines from shows. help?!
@khaleesi Ha, sorry. Just a little Game of Thrones reference. I thought that's what your name was from.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose haha it is definitely a game of thrones reference. I love the show and the first two books which are the only ones I've read as watching each season of the show first. I never get references to things unless its blatantly obvious like 'I'll be back.'
@khaleesi Haha, I named my dog Khaleesi, so for a split second I thought my dog was commenting on the hairpin. Actually, whenever I see the word 'khaleesi' now I think of my dog and get confused momentarily before going - oh yeeeeaaah. They are in fact talking about that character from the book/show who is her namesake.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose THIS WAS MY ENTIRE WEEK!
this was my entire week :(
Watched the first episode out of curiosity, then watched the next one, then the next one... oy. Did you also find many of the bad auditions to be a bit heartbreaking? Prime examples include The Dude Who Sang a Duet with Britney Spears Ten Years Ago, and that guy who used to be in some sort of a boy band, and after his audition Simon whispered, "This guy has probably been to like, 800 auditions..."
It's just, they're trying so desperately hard to cling onto this frivolous thing that they'll probably never make it at, and I felt like at the core of their desperation was the belief that it'll give them the love or validation that they lack or something. And you're just thinking, "Just find a sensible job and live a normal life! Find love! It is the only way!"
I know, there's much worse things happening in the world, but they just struck me somehow, in the kind of, "look at all the lonely people" way. I don't know. I don't know! I'm on my period so I must be irrational and emotional RrRAHhhHHhHH!
I am stuffing my face with crystallized caramels, though.
And my crippling anxiety / obsessive thinking is flaring up this week LIKE WOAH and it's stressing me out and causing problems between me and my boyfriend even though he is lovely and helpful and totally understanding and I'm at that point where I start to believe I will never not be anxious and worried again.
@terrific It's hard to be in the thick of it, but don't let yourself believe that it will last forever! That's the most important thing when trying to get through one of those spells. Also, try distraction with fun things?
@terrific Write it out. It helps me to look at a physical list of what is making me anxious, and then write up a solutions list. If that doesn't work, I try redirecting my mind to a different task, like reading an easy book. And if that doesn't work, Xanax for a brain break.
What if every solution on my solutions list is just "time travel"?
@Reginal T. Squirge That sums up my whole life right now!
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose @Awesomely Nonfunctional
Mom's in town this weekend so hopefully that will be the distraction I need! Trying to not spend too much time with the boyfriend right now because I don't want to take my relationship down with me and with the type of anxiety I get, it isn't impossible... It sucks, because it's a little more ephemeral anxiety -- fretting about jobs/work futures and the ambiguous "how do you know if your relationship will succeed!" "how do you know if the person you're with is THE OOOOONE!" nature of relationships, and nothing that lists help with. Now Xanax... I bet that would do the trick. If only I had some! My mean mom won't let me steal hers.
@terrific Hey, we're practically twins! Well, fraternal, at least, because for me it's primarily depression, secondarily anxiety, and it is actively ruining my relationships with my boyfriend (through constant angry moping about me, about him, about US!) and my friends (through simple neglect). FML.
Benzos! Do you have some? Sometimes it's the only way out of a bad patch.
This morning I had an ultrasound for a weird lump in my jaw--everything's fine! I was 99.9% sure it would be, but it was still a relief. And I had only told my husband because I didn't want anyone to worry about something that was 99.9% likely nothing, so it is nice just to be able to say it now!
@SarahP Was it drainage from an ulcer? I once had a huge lump under my jaw, and I went to a doctor for it. It turns out that it was just internal drainage from those stupid painful ulcers you get in your mouth. Glad yours was also nothing to worry about!
@olivebee It was an errant lymph node! Apparently those things travel around all the time. This one migrated to its new spot a couple years ago and stayed there.
@SarahP Whaaaaat? That's a thing? Whoa.
@SarahP THEY DO WHAT? DDD:
I am absolutely knackered and I have no idea why. I could go to sleep right here. Right now. I guess it's a good thing all my friday night plans fell through so I can go home and watch a movie on netflix and cuddle with my dog.
@redheaded&crazie I am going to pass all the way out on the commute home. There's no way that isn't happening. Zombie!rupertgrint.
At what point does the Friendly Neighborhood Kitten hanging around my doorstep become kidnap-able? This skinny-but-ecstatically-social kitty has visited us three days in a row, and I want to be her friend! Alas, debate rages re: whether she's stray, lost, or just shoved of doors when her people go to work. Don't want to accidentally steal a kid's cat.
@VolcanoMouse If it were me, I would take it in now just because I can't bear cute things being sad, and then just keep eyes and ears open for a month or so and maybe ask every upset child I see if he has lost a kitteh. But that might be harder in practice.
@VolcanoMouse Take the kitten to a vet or a shelter to see if it's micro-chipped (my guess is that it is not). If it has no chip and no collar, technically you can take it. But if you still feel bad, go door to door asking around if it belongs to anyone.
@VolcanoMouse Try putting a collar on her with your contact info and see if anyone calls to complain about kitty theft?
@VolcanoMouse Take her in, but in doing so, put up a couple posters nearby saying that you found her. Don't include a picture, so if people contact you, you can have them describe her to make sure she's really theirs.
@olivebee Oof, checking for a microchip is obvious, but hadn't occurred to me. If she sticks around much longer, I think we'll have to haul her to the vet for that and to see if her weird cloudy eyes are infected or something. Our neighborhood is mostly apartments, so I guess I could put posters in the laundry rooms and so on!
@terrific Agh, yes. And what if it starts to get cold? She needs a home, any home!
I'm worried that our wee grad-student-and-useless-part-time-artisan household can't afford major vet bills and stuff. How much does having a kitty actually cost, these days?
@VolcanoMouse: Steal the skinny kitty!
@VolcanoMouse Unless the cat has some recurring and/or major medical issues, cats are pretty damn cheap. I have two of them, including one with major medical issues, and my husband and I both make paltry salaries. Our cats have never become a financial issue for us. Basically, if you get litter at Costco or Sam's club, it's like $11 for a couple months worth. We also buy high-quality, grain-free food for our cats because of the aforementioned one cat's issues, and even that is about $36 for 2 months.
@VolcanoMouse Friend of mine has a story from childhood about their indoor-outdoor cat who was, unbeknownst to them, also "owned" by another family. Cat disappeared for a few days so they walked down the road & found him in the neighbor's arms.
Friend: "Oh, good, we've been looking all over for Fluffy!"
Neighbor: "Uh, you mean this cat? Our cat Mittens?"
Not sure how it all played out but my takeaway was that cats are wily enough to make joint custody happen! (This theory also conveniently explains why our orange tabby is so freakishly fat.)
@VolcanoMouse I also vote take the kitteh, but maybe (depending on where you live) call the paper and put a classified ad in for FOUND KITTEH. My mom had this happen to her, and as she was dictating the ad to the ad lady on the phone, it turned out the actual owners had called in a LOST ad that same day, and all was well, and no one had to pay for their respective ads, although the owners of the cat always gave mom the side-eye after that. I guess they thought she was a kitty thief. (This was in the wilds of the suburbs, where posters might be less effective than a city.)
@Nicole Sauvage@twitter Oh, this happened to me. My cat come home with a collar on like "Is this your cat? We feed him all the time and have named him Bubbles and bought him his own bed and wet food and we love him soooooo. Call us! 555-555-555"
Me: "Uh, yeah, this is my cat. His name is Tango, and he's ours. And I feed him all the time too. Which explains why he's so fat. But ok."
Turns out he had a kitty girlfriend who lived at the other house, and he kind of slowly transitioned out of living at ours. We had a bird he was always being chastised for trying to eat at the time, so maybe he just got fed up. We finally replaced him with two shelter cats. When he came by for a visit he was not. pleased.
@RobotsNeedLove I don't mean to sound morbid but there's a movie starring the adorable Fran Kranz (From Cabin in the Woods) about JUST THIS:
Sam Raimi is producing a movie called Murder of a Cat, which is about a guy who discovers that his recently deceased cat was leading a double life with another owner.
@RobotsNeedLove Reminds me of this: http://www.amazon.com/Six-Dinner-Sid-Inga-Moore/dp/0671796135
@RobotsNeedLove Aww, one of our cats is named Tango! But he barely tolerates *us*, so I don't think he's living a double life!
@JadedStone There's also a traveling cat in Whisper of the Heart, which is not creepy but a TOTALLY DELIGHTFUL Studio Ghibli film.
@VolcanoMouse Someone is probably going to yell at me for this. BUT-
I really think that if you don't want to put the effort into keeping a cat in your house, then you don't deserve a cat. So I think any "outdoor" (don't get me started on this) cat is up for grabs. They are at risk for so many problems outdoors, that you are practically rescuing this cat. It's yours.
I have a job interview next Wednesday! AHHHHHHHH!!
The boy I like gets back into town tomorrow and I hope I see him soon. Another weekend goal - don't get in a fight with my mother's wonderful-but-incredibly-picky boyfriend.
@lora.bee Good luck at the interview!!
@olivebee Thank you!! Now to figure out what to wear...
Sometimes I get so shy I freeze-up espeically at work amongst all these men... I never know how to make small talk or when the boss came up to me today to ask a question I STAMMERED! Like an idiot! I wonder what they all think of me. I do all my work fine and fast and wonderfully, but they must think I am very slow otherwise... Is there any way to get rid of shyness... even at middle age?
@somuchsugar This happens to me sometimes. I'd try to talk to them casually one at a time, on your terms. Then you'll have someone on your side when you face them as a group? Other ideas would be appreciated!
@somuchsugar I think there are practical steps you can take. Like making a list of potential small-talk conversation topics and memorizing a few opening lines. Or anticipating potential questions about your projects and (mentally or actually) preparing answers. It seems... uh... Mr. Collins-ish to do stuff like that but what it does is give you an easy trigger to start the flow of words. That first hurdle is usually the toughest, IMO.
And FWIW, I think what you're describing is totally normal for all but the most gregarious among us.
@somuchsugar Goodbye to Shy by Leil Lowndes helped me a lot. Might be worth a library trip, at least?
I may know a person who forced himself to strike up a conversation with a stranger a day...
@somuchsugar I've struggled with the exact same thing for many years, and found some books helpful. "The Introvert Advantage" by Marti Olsen Laney is rather wonderful, and deals directly with the conversation 'vapour lock' situation, while also recognising some particular strengths of introverts, such as deep concentration on work projects. I also recommend "Shyness - A Bold New Approach" by Bernado Carducci. These books have helped me to make friends in a new city and feel more confident in the workplace. It's an ongoing process and I don't think my shyness will ever truly disappear, but I've learned that that's okay and there are ways to manage it successfully.
@somuchsugar I am incredibly shy, but have been trying super-hard. I think the best thing I've found is that the most inane comment about your surroundings is fine as an opener- 'Wow, we've been waiting ages', or 'Man, it's warm in here'. However much you may go over it thinking it's a stupid thing to say, people who don't overanalyse will usually think nothing of it and say something back. Also, just batting questions back will get you a way forward- if you're nervous you can often forget, but it's important to show you're interested and shy, not just a twat who doesn't like other people. Then when they've told you one bit of info, fix onto that for another question (e.g.., 'I live in Blaville, with my dog.' 'Oh, what sort of dog?')(Sorry if this is obvious, it's the sort of stuff I keep telling myself!)
Got my feckin' Irish citizenship five months early, UP TOP Y'ALL.
(I am applying for my Irish passport as I type this/well I mean as soon as I stop typing I'll keep filling it out, oh, you know what I mean)
@katiemcgillicuddy I've been saying I'm going to do this for like 5 years. How pricey did it end up being, if you don't mind me asking?
@cd Not at all. If I weren't heading out of town in two hours I'd try and look everything up, I'll try and do it when I get home and come back to this thread. My guess, though, is maybe 250, might have been more? There are sooo many fees it was hard to keep track (and you are paying slowly over the process, so it doesn't hit you *too* hard) so yeah, it wasn't that bad. If you have more questions I am more than happy to answer them.
I am mainly just perturbed I do not have Monday off. But I am going to Topsfield Fair with the current gentlemen caller tomorrow! There will be goats! And sheep! And hopefully a ferris wheel we can ride and kiss on.
@Kirs There will also be my cousins! Not that this is relevant to you, it's just that my cousin-in-law just posted to FB about going with the kidlets.
I GOT A JOB!!! I am so excited. I moved across the country to be with my boyfriend and um...write my dissertation? I had resigned myself to being on a student-loan funded fellowship that I considered calling the Higgenbottom Fellowship for Awesome Research (seriously, that would look bad-ass on my CV). BUT then I got a call from a local university and they offered me a position teaching a class there next semester! I am so excited! Teaching! A Paycheck!
@many things do not fly Congrats!! That sounds really fun!
What were some of your favorite Halloween costumes that you've seen/worn yourself? Figured this would be a good place to share ideas for those who...struggle with coming up with costumes (definitely, definitely not me).
@Gracefully and Grandly My dad always comes up with great costumes that have to incorporate his massive beard. I think my all-time favorite was a Christmas tree - tiny ornaments in the beard, spire tied to the top of his head, tinsel around his shoulders, and he borrowed my walkman and carried the little computer speakers in his pockets to play a tape of carols.
@Gracefully and Grandly I was Punky Brewster last year and it was comfortable, easy, and fun in its recognizable-only-to-people-of-my-generation-ness.
@Gracefully and Grandly
I haven't had any super-good ones since I was a kid, but in 4th grade I went--wait for it--as Wishbone the dog dressed up as a jester. META.
@Gracefully and Grandly I was David Bowie in 2009 (complete with rolled-up socks in my crotch, under silver legging) and it was probably my favourite ever, to the degree that I am considering doing it again this year...
@Gracefully and Grandly I did Wayne's World with a friend last year which was hilarious, recognizable, easy, and warm!
@frigwiggin I did meta costumes last year with my boyfriend. We went as Data dressed as Sherlock Holmes, and LaForge dressed as Watson. I think maybe 0.87% of the party population "got" it, but it was still super fun until wearing the visor made me dizzy.
@Gracefully and Grandly I've also had great success with Sean from Sean of the Dead and Marie Curie. Although the Marie Curie required me to drink louched Sambuca from an Erlenmeyer flask all night, and seriously, that stuff is not an all-night drink choice. SO STICKY. But still, commitment to the bit, right?
@Gracefully and Grandly I've made lots 'o costumes! I've made the Tooth Fairy, Hester Prynn, the Jolly Green Giant, the Hamburgler, Mr. Peanut, Lollipop Guild Munchkin, and last year I made my boyfriend, my little sister, and her husband all dress up as KISS. I was Paul Stanley.
@Gracefully and Grandly I think my favorites are weirdly conceptual. For example, one year my husband I went as "Evils of the Workplace." I was Bureaucracy in a pencil skirt, blouse and severe bun, he was Apathy in ripped up jeans, old t-shirt, and a flannel. Bonus to this was that we did not have to buy anything!
@Gracefully and Grandly I was Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica last year, no one got it, so I'm bringing it back this year. NO REGRETS.
@Gracefully and Grandly I did a good Baberaham Lincoln last year that I wish I could go as again... silly me for thinking I should get rid of the beard and top hat when I moved.
Is this where I can brag that someone contacted me through Flickr to ask if she could use a picture of my Picasso Halloween costume that one time in an article?
But actually my favorite costume was the time I was eleven and repurposed my frankly too-small mouse costume, adding a pick eye mask and belt. I was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Gerbil.
@miss buenos aires That is the best thing I've ever heard, and is now making me reconsider my costume plans. I could throw together a Michelangelo costume in a few weeks for cheap, right? And I would get an excuse to carry pizza around all night?
@Girl Named Jack Ahhh, I would have loved seeing Data/Holmes and LaForge/Watson! So good, so, so good.
Alllllso, I forgot a good one of mine--in college, at one point I had my short hair dyed four colors, going from dark magenta to hot pink to orange to yellow (back to front), and for Halloween that year I spiked it all straight up and wore tan and went as a lit match.
@miss buenos aires Jesus Christ:
@like a rabid squirrel what did you wear besides the beard and top hat? this sounds awesome
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
BWAHAHAHAHA It took five and a half minutes of staring before I figured out what that was supposed to be.
I think it would take you maybe an hour or two to throw together a Michelangelo costume. Less if you already have some kind of rodent (not bunny) costume in your house.
I still can't get over the ridiculous picture. Who buys that costume? Who wears it?
@miss buenos aires that is amazing! My art history nerd heart is swooning at your Picasso costume. Swooning!
Also, I'm really impressed by everyone's creativity.
@Brunhilde What are you doing this year?? I have been racking my brain and cannot come up with anything remotely decent and Bonni and I are hitting the thrift shops tomorrow. Best thing I've got is 80s snow bunny.
Also, what is going on this year and WHY does it have to fall on a Wednesday.
@cd I wore a little shirtdress (really more of a shirt than a dress on me, so also some spandex shorts), fishnets, black boots, and a badass vintage morning coat on loan from my antique-hoarding parents.
@Gracefully and Grandly Tyrone (the crackhead) from Chappelle Show (back when it was still on) and I NAILED IT. Another year a buddy and me went as the Laser Cats guys, I was Nitro and he was Admiral Spaceship.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I wanna be Starbuck! Did you buy stuff from anywhere, and, if so, could you direct me toward it?
@Gracefully and Grandly I was UHF-era Weird Al last year, and people were so much more excited to see/recognize me than anyone is to see my actual self in regular life that I was kinda bummed for like a week.
I dressed up as Shark Week for a couple years in a row (like a shark, but with the days of the week written on my shirt) but surprisingly few people got it (they may have been too drunk to read).
The best costume I've ever seen was Charles the dog from Daft Punk's "Da Funk" video.
@Gracefully and Grandly The kid on the Milk Carton: just paint a box like a milk carton and cut out a hole for your face! I love costumes that are just boxes...
@SarcasticFringehead Put it all together at home! Khaki green pants, black boots of any sort, gray cutoff tank top, black racerback tank top worn over that but BACKWARDS, made my own tags out of aluminum foil, drew on the tattoo with sharpie. Aviators are mandatory. Cigar and stein are recommended.
@bitzy The only thing I know for sure that I'm doing for Halloween is turning 32 (can't help that one). I have such costume block this year! I haven't heard of anything going on, either.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher It is so on.
My best-ever was the Frankenstein Angel mashup. Rubber Frankie mask, ripped clothes, plus dollar-store wings and halo. People either whooped with excitement or knitted their brows in puzzlement.
@Barry Grant Easiest costume I've ever seen that was also hilariously funny? I saw a girl at Montreal Comiccon wearing just a regular outfit, but holding a piece of paper that read "THE DOCTOR'S FUTURE COMPANION."
Some day I will find three people who love me enough to do a Cambridge Spies group costume. (Dibs on Blunt.)
New profile name here! LolaLaBalc was getting too old for me, and too easily recognisable for some friends, so, Hot Doom it is. It sort of hearkens back to my pseudo-goth, slightly antagonistic high school days many moons ago, when my aol handle was VindicatorOfTheDamned (I know, right?). Also, the name of the site I stole it from sums up how I feel most of the time.
Ugggggh work uggggggh why can't I already be at home drinking beer
BUT my sister might be coming for an impromptu visit! Going to take her out for brunch if she does, and then see if I can bribe her into driving me to Trader Joe's.
I've been after a particular coat that Victoria's Secret carried 1 or 2 years ago (now they're all on ebay). But I cannot for the life of me figure out what size to get, because the standard "size chart" for VS isn't necessarily correct to the manufacturer of the coat, and the measurements on ebay seem very far apart between the 10 and the 12, which is what I'm deciding between. So. Have any of you purchased a coat through VS, but I guess that would have been made by Via or Moda? If so, I could use your help.
@dale I purchased a coat through them and it ran quite small. What I thought would be a size bigger than I usually wear and nice and roomy is too tight to wear with a thick sweater. Not sure if the sizing is consistent across styles (this was a double-breasted military-type coat) but mine ran small for sure.
@entangled Hm. Maybe the 12 is the right choice, then.
@dale that's what I'd recommend given my (somewhat limited) experience.
@dale If you buy the bigger size and it is too big, you can have it tailored. If you buy the smaller size and it is too small, you're just out of luck.
Real talk: How the hell do you make friends when you're in that weird in-between place where you're past drinking-as-socializing but not to marriage/babies yet? I have ample opportunities to make younger drinking friends, but I don't really drink these days and that kind of makes you a pariah among young people in DC. I also live out in the suburbs which ugh is its own sort of pain.
I'm mostly venting, I've been really frustrated about this recently. I even tried some Hairpin events, but I don't know, I didn't feel cool enough.
@Sarah H. Hobby! I'm thinking about joining a bridge club.
@Sarah H. I hope I don't sound like I'm beating a dead horse, but at the Hairpin events that I've gone to (all of them here in Austin), there really isn't any way you wouldn't be "cool enough". It can certainly feel that way, since 'Pinners as a group seem like really witty, fashionable, beautiful people, but honestly, everyone there is SO open and welcoming and I find that I felt comfortable pretty quickly. Additionally, you're a pretty regular commenter here on the 'Pin, and I can tell you that I always look forward to your input and opinions. You seem smart, interesting and well-spoken; I really don't think you have anything to worry about when it comes to impressing other Pinners!
Also, as the person who was organizing Austin Pin-ups for a while, I can tell you unequivocally that at least 3 out of 5 'Pinners who e-mailed me about the events said something along the lines of "Am I cool enough for this? I'm too scared to come". Seriously. You are not the only one at a Pin-up who is afraid! Maybe try again? :)
@Sarah H. recreational sports teams can be a good way to meet people!
@Sarah H. Maybe it's time to organize an uncool pin up? Like go somewhere uncool like Chili's (except rootbeer in a frosted mug IS pretty cool...) and tell people to be ready to share their dorkiest secret. Also, if young people are bumming you out, consider going to an orchid show or some other event for a hobby that attracts and older set. Coolness will probably not be the main feature of a model train expo, but you might meet fascinating people and pick up a new hobby.
I also play RPGs, and I bet your local game store might have an open house night. The roleplaying community is fraught with many things (including, unfortunately, rampant sexism), but coolness is not usually one of them. Also, gamers who are feminist tend to be outspoken and hella smart, sooooo yeah. :)
My experience organizing Pin-ups in Chicago has been basically the same! I've met some great folks. Be courageous, and it'll be fun!
@wee_ramekin First, aww, thank you :) I'm blushing over here.
I have been to Pin events in DC, though, a happy hour and two book club meetings - I just didn't feel like I fit in among all the DC ladies as a shy suburban lady. I can't really describe it (and I did reach out and talk with people, I promise!), I just felt out of place.
I definitely want to try some classes or events that are more niche in nature. Not sure about recreational sports, though - I tried a kickball league last summer and dear god, the binge drinking.
@Sarah H. This is more advice for how to transition a meeting or acquaintanceship into a friendship. I've been into "invite someone to try that new *** thing you've been meaning to try with you" thing. It's working pretty well! Lots of sporty things in the summer, which is fun, and good with the new lady friends (the platonic type). Plus you get to try new things.
Also, throw parties, invite people.
@Sarah H. Yo, are you me? I was both so incredibly in awe of the beautiful, excellent, NICE ladies around me, and still felt out of place. I wish I was near you, as I too am an uncool dork. But sometimes letting out your inner dork can be a good thing too? Either way, good luck, I feel ya!
@Sarah H. NOBODY is cool at Hairpin events, real talk
@Sarah H. I have been trying stuff through Meetup.com lately and enjoying it -- if you do that, I recommend something like board games or cards (I joined a mahjong club), where small talk is kind of the natural level of conversation, over something like a book club, where it'll be harder to get to know people because you're mostly focused on talking about the book.
Also, maybe you could organize or co-organize a DC Suburbs Pinup, or one with a theme or location that might attract more people you'd mesh with? (Like, I would expect that I would fit in better at a Crafting Pinup than a Happy Hour Pinup.)
@Sarah H. I use Craiglist. I think the key is to be fairly specific about who you are, and what you're looking for. Like, if you want feminist geek friends, put that in the title, and then follow it up with "I want someone to watch Doctor Who/Buffy/ with, and totally geek out, and then throw around words like 'problematic' and 'heteronormativity'". Maybe put in that you're past the drinking in bars phase, but not yet to the marriage/babies phase. So, not just "looking for a bestie" and then your weight and height. (Which you wouldn't necessarily do, but really people, why is that so common?) And then when I get a response that I want to meet up with, I invite them to meet me for coffee at the coffee house near me where I feel really safe and they have a good vibe. Basically, almost all of my friends right now are either people I met on CL, or people I met through friends I met on CL.
@Elsajeni I'm always afraid that I'll be the New Kid at meetup things, especially when you look at the past events and see the same 6 people over and over and over again.
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily) i have used okcupid for similar things, with similar results. sky's the limit when you have the whole internet!
Hey! I was a bridesmaid and survived it. Also, I wore a strapless dress that didn't need constant scooping and my petition to wear flats was granted (much love to my new sister: here's to not making me break an ankle trying to walk in heels on grass), so it was pretty much perfect. And I met my boyfriend's family, and then we spent four hours driving in a car and it was also perfect. Plus, a crazy good cà phê đá (also his parents sent us home with a coffee maker, so while I can guess that they probably didn't love me, it's also probably clear that they didn't totally hate me) and a croissant, so altogether good trip. But dang it feels good to be home.
I have a great fear of being forced to wear heels by a wedding or a fancy grownup job. It's not that I don't WANT to wear them, it's that I've injured both my ankles and never went to physical therapy like I guess I should have? And now I just straight up cannot walk in heels. It can't be done. My ankles are SO weak. I feel as wobbly as a newborn horsie.
@heyhaley If it helps, I never wear heels!! Never. Really pretty flats for my grown up job. :)
I have two pairs of the exact same flats except one is brown and one is black... and I accidentally put on one of each this morning. New trend? Mismatched shoes? *facepalm*
Also, I am one month out from the wedding as of yesterday and all those tiny little nitpicky details are suddenly staring me in the face and threatening to pull me out of "cool chill bride" mode where I like being and making me "frenetic nervous overplanning bride" which I don't want to be. Will red wine suffice in keeping me chill? Yes? No? Drink it anyway?
Also a huge THANK YOU to all of you who helped me look for statement jewelry a few weeks back, I had so much fun going from link to link to link.
Go figure I ended up going for pearls. Ah, classic imagery.
@Scandyhoovian Don't fret about the shoes, you're like Helena Bonham Carter! As for the tiny wedding details - drink the red wine anyway. Maybe you'll make one decision after a glass and if not, well there's always more wine. You have plenty of time to iron out the details. Do you have someone you can delegate a few details to?
@Scandyhoovian Yes and yes? Honestly, I find that people are really nice to brides, even when you veer out of "cool chill" zone, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's a big deal! Have a freak out! No one will judge.
@Scandyhoovian Red wine.
Also, if you have enough red wine at your wedding, nobody (including you) will care about the details.
I once went on vacation for a week and brought running shoes that didn't match. At least I had one left and one right, and they were the same brand so it was sort of ok to run in them.
@Scandyhoovian Red wine, and the mantra of "it's one day, not a lifetime." Ask friends for help. The most fun wedding I've been at was fun because the bride was totally chill, and we, her friends (bridesmaids and just friends who were there to help) were each helping out with little details. People will mostly remember that you and your husband looked like you were happy and having fun.
@Scandyhoovian You'll get through it! Also a couple days of bride freakout a few weeks before isn't bad, seriously. It helped me have that last bit of desperation/motivation to get some loose ends tied up and think of a few worst case scenarios and then you realize that you've got this and can re-enter Chill Bride Mode. The wine very much helps.
Also, have you found your jewelry yet? I got my pearl stuff from this Etsy store and it is unbelievably gorgeous. I highly recommend. The asymmetrical necklaces are great.
@bitzy Oh, that shop is full of such pretty stuff! But I have already gotten my jewelry. I'm definitely bookmarking that shop, because holy crap some of those necklaces are beyond gorgeous.
I had a good weekend of someone-else's-bachelorette-party chilling and letting loose and it helped with all the jitters, actually. I think I was just getting wound up due to the "shit it's a month away" feelings. Partying helped a lot!
My most desperate wish is to own every single dress that Elizabeth has on Copper.
MOSTLY THOUGH - that JACKET. OMG THAT JACKET. The white one with the black lace? DEAR LORD I WANTS.
@JadedStone Whoa! That's a gorgeous coat.
@WhiskeySour I wish I could find a full length photo. It's so disgustingly pretty.
@JadedStone Is that show worth watching? I've seen the ads for it, but haven't made up my mind yet.
@JadedStone This was like my favourite outfit of hers ever. But I loves me a graphic black and white so much.
@Lisa Frank Depends. Do you LOVE YOU SOME TOPHAT?
It is a strange but good show. While the female characters all seem to think with their lady-parts, they are decidedly more layered than on most shows.
spoilerish? But I feel justified because you should know: Trigger warnings, as there's some heavy handed child abuse. However, also MASSIVE helpings of retribution in general.
Is anyone else watching Scandal? A law school buddy posted about it on FB so I tried it out kind of on a lark, and suddenly WHAMMO I got totally sucked into it and watched the entire season in two sittings.
Also, last night a friend I was asking for guy advice confessed to having feelings for me. Which I had thought were in the past, and thus not likely to be the subject of a conversation (asked and answered, friend, asked and answered). gahhhhhh I do not reciprocate but want us to still be friends and want powerfully for this not to be awkward. I think we can do this, but it's still making me a little cringey.
Yes! Scandal is so good!! I LOVE Kerry Washington.
@stonefruit I love Scandal. I'm so excited for this new season and the direction they're going in.
@stonefruit I think a lot of guys, when they really like a girl, think they need to be romantic with them, when what they really want is a close friendship. They find it hard to separate the emotional friendship from their sexual urges. (It's because of their damned ever-kibbitzing penises.) Hell, I'll be honest: I have been known to make that mistake myself, regarding men I liked. I managed to convince a male friend that this was the case with him, but only after I went out with him for a short time and found it wasn't working. (I gave it a chance, in spite of my doubts.) Luckily he's a very very smart, emotionally sound guy. We're best friends, nearly 15 years later. I introduced him to some of my ex's, and they get along great. I'm very proud of them.
I am leaving for Bat Country on Tuesday. Just dropped $125 for outdoorsy gear--thankfully they gave me my (unusually generous) per diem before the trip so I could go out and, y'know, buy shit. FOR THE TRIP. And probably also some beer, because ten days in the desert, y'know? Anyway, if I don't find a good UV shirt at the next store I try, I'm probably going to burn to a crisp and die.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY HAVE FUN. In my experience UV shirts are not necessary; any long-sleeved loose cut lightweight cotton will do just fine in the desert. All those well-washed hipster flannels at the Goodwill work just about as well.
Mo' money fo' beer? ha
Crowdsourcing my nerdiness: Any suggestions for a Slytherin fanmix? So far I have
*Destroy Everything You Touch - Ladytron
*When I Am Through With You - The VLA
*On To The Next One - Jay Z
*Black Sheep - Gin Wigmore
*Dirty Laundry (Skeewiff remix) - Bitter:Sweet
*Twilight Zone - Golden Earring
*Six Underground - Sneaker Pimps
Obviously, all genres are welcome!
@JessicaLovejoy was recently thinking about Bond themes... The World is Not Enough by Garbage seems pretty Slytherin to me.
@JessicaLovejoy ... ALL genres you say?
clearly Oops! I did it again, or moreso, Toxic, by Britney Spears should be on there.
@JessicaLovejoy Bigmouth Strikes again!
Also, Michael Jackson "I'm Bad". You know it.
@JessicaLovejoy "I Hate Myself for Loving You," Joan Jett or "I Hate Everything About You," Three Days Grace.
@JessicaLovejoy This might be the whole rest of my evening! :) Here's another idea: "Bad Boy for Life" by Puffy (yeah, yeah, sooo uncool now but I am no longer a youth, so I don't give a damn)
@JessicaLovejoy COLD-HEARTED SNAKE!! by Paula Abdul.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose WINNER
@JessicaLovejoy Sympathy for the Devil - Rolling Stones
@JessicaLovejoy Ooh ooh! Scissor Sisters' I Can't Decide.
You're Gonna Go Far, Kid! Very ambitious and cunning.
THIS THIS THIS THIS
A friend of some friends designed these and they are wonderful.
ALSO, advice please? Short version: casual, five-years-younger friend in the same circle who is sweet but a bit chihuahua-like (i.e., nervous, talks too much and too fast) and has to make every conversation about her. Seriously. She is a miracle of conversational redirection. We could be talking about anything and suddenly she is complaining about her workday or a school project or whatever (and dude, I don't even want to talk about me, but how about OTHER PEOPLE. OR LIKE A TV SHOW. OR ANYTHING AT ALL). She has also become my workout buddy (which I totes appreciate), so I am suddenly seeing her four days a week? Which is fine except GOOD GRACIOUS IT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. Any advice for redirecting her? Or am I fighting a losing battle?
@par_parenthese she may not even realize she's doing it? Depending how comfortable you two are around each other, maybe point out sort of half jokingly (but more friendly than accusational) that she's making everything about her. I think this is a pretty common nervous habit (I get nervous that I do it too much... oh crap now I am making this comment about me...)
@par_parenthese I catch myself doing this a lot, and it's a nervous habit. I get shy, and my mind goes blank, and hey, I know a lot about *me*, so I can talk about that! Sadly I do not know of any corrective tricks, other than maybe taking what she's talking about and redirecting it to you? Or some other life/world/tv/whatever situation? It's also possible she's just young and self-centered (as the young can be) and trying to figure life out, and is still learning that there is a world outside what's going on inside her own head.
But try finding something in whatever she's talking about that you can use to launch into a story or an anecdote or something. That's the only thing I can think of.
Egads, I just realized how patronizing that sounds, "redirecting her." Ugh. Not trying to be all Listen With Mother with her, just trying to find a way to keep hanging out with her without losing my marbles.
Got my Hairpin Mix CD you guys! I had forgotten how much I need to have a recording of Jack White singing Jolene!
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll BLESS YOU, seriously, for getting Jolene stuck in my head. It's one of my favorite earworms.
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll
Yay, people getting their CDs!
@frigwiggin - Sigh. Mailbox still empty. I can only assume that my mail carrier is REALLY enjoying it. I give up.
@alannaofdoom I emailed your swap partner, so if I don't hear back from them I'll make you a CD myself. Just be patient a little longer and you'll get something either way!
@frigwiggin My computer literally would not let me burn the mix. I HAVE TO FIX THIS BUT I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN.
Also I never got a cd either! Which I suppose is only fitting.
@frigwiggin I got my CD from yoooou!!! :D :D :D I also sent out some stuff this week and I am planning to send more stuff out on Tuesday!
@frigwiggin - Thanks lady! I shall keep the faith... Hee.
Okay sharetime because none of my coworkers are in today:
A) I just bought tickets to an ALCS game! I hope that is (i) an A's-Yankees series and (ii) not next Sunday. I can do anyyy day except next Sunday. Please don't be Sunday.
B) I have gotten a terrible night's sleep every day this week and I am currently a miserable human being to be around.
C) I'm getting an IUD!!!! I have to make an appointment still, but that's just a matter of finding the best time around when I'm expecting my period. Hopefully it'll happen before Thanksgiving. I saw an awesome new gyno this week and she was awesome, which makes that whole experience infinitely better.
D) I do not have a long weekend, but am hoping it will be great nonetheless!
D.i) It will be great because I will be watching the second half of season 1 of Revenge and I am obsessed.
@polka dots vs stripes Revenge is so so wonderful. I'm excited to watch the season 2 premiere even if the second half of the first season lost me a bit. (BUT STILL WATCH IT IT IS WORTH IT)
@polka dots vs stripes Oh man, Revenge just sucks you right in! Even the cheesiest, soapiest moments didn't bother me because, I dunno, once you're hooked, you're hooked, I guess. I think Emily Van Camp does an amazing job.
@olivebee I LOVE her, so much. But yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. I usually watch it on my lunch breaks at work but last night decided to watch an episode with my boyfriend on my couch...he was giving me serious side-eye the entire time.
@olivebee she is so wonderful! and what an effortless transition from Amy Abbott/bangs of sadness to Emilymanda Thorneclarke/loose waves of vengeance.
@polka dots vs stripes
Yay for IUDs!!!!! Seriously, it is the best thing ever. I mean, there might be twingy side effects, but the cost over time? The peace of mind, knowing you are absolutely not pregnant?
And I'm getting off of two weeks of terrible/bad sleep myself, and I just want to hibernate. Drink water! It helps with the shittiness, for some reason.
@polka dots vs stripes If it weren't for the baseball I would think I'd made this post - I also made an appointment for a consult to get an IUD, and I just started up watching Revenge again. GOOD TIMES ALL ROUND, WHAT WHAT.
It's my birthday! and Thanksgiving!
I'm thankful for eggnog in my coffee, a new scarf, crisp fall weather, and a nice date planned with my husband.
@oh! valencia happy birthday!
@oh! valencia HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Also. Whole Foods Eggnog in a glass container is like sipping heaven itself.
@oh! valencia Happy birthday! Have a great time celebrating!
@oh! valencia Happy birthday and also Thanksgiving!
thanks everyone! I am going to eat sooo well this weekend!
Happy Friday everyone!
I haven't been around much because things have been superbusyandkinadstressfulohmygodi'msodiscombobulated, but lots of great things have happened!
We got a dog! She's a Corgi Chihuahua mix and her name is Chaka Khan. And she's good with cats and kids and is adorable.
I saw Ben Folds Five! It was most excellent.
I saw Louis C.K.! Again! Also excellent.
The first big meeting for MN Arm Wrestling League for Ladies is tomorrow! That is if everyone doesn't stand me up again.
My uncle is having another awesome, huge, house concert tomorrow night! Grilling and home brew and live music in fall weather. Sweet.
One of the sonofbitches involved in the sex trafficking of my sister's former mentee, who we're all still close with, just plead guilty and flipped on the other two and is now facing 14 years. Two down, one to go.
I'm getting an endometrial ablation!
And finally, my sister and brother in law are one step closer to adopting after their social worker met all of their friends who said fantastic things about them all night. I really hope they don't have to wait much longer.
So, How was your week?
@NeverOddOrEven: Chaka Khan everybody Chaka Khan!
I bought tix to see The Mountain Goats yay.
@NeverOddOrEven Wow, that's a lotta goodness!
My endometrial ablation was the bestest thing EVER! Well, until I had the whole thing yanked a couple years ago, but still. Hope you're happy with your results!
@laurel That is a helluva week. One thousand high-fives for you, NeverOddOrEven!
Portland Hairpin Book Club is reading Simon Reynolds' Rip It Up And Start Again! We will meet at Liberty Glass at 6PM on the last Sunday of October to discuss it. I will remind you!
@Reginal T. Squirge That book sounds super cool and I might even be able to get my husband interested in it! Count me in!
@Reginal T. Squirge That's a good one! Though I've personally read enough retrospectives on Gang of Four and Devo that I was able to just skip those chapters.
I'm a little worried this early into it because I don't really fuck with postpunk at all and he's just throwing 8 million band names at me and maybe none of it is registering but hopefully it'll start to make sense!
@Reginal T. Squirge Speaking of lit ... any Portland Pinners going to Wordstock next weekend?
I was thinking about going to the poetry slam on Thursday. I don't know, though. I've been kind of out of it lately.
@Reginal T. Squirge I haven't been able to go to poetry slams for awhile... I get too wistful for undergrad good times. My friends would call me "Dutch Boy", because they were all lesbians (get it?), and slam was suuuuuch a thing! Over time, though, the pieces I connected to became fewer and farther between as I started to get wise to slam cadence and how its use became manipulative when shoring up weak poetry. Didn't matter if the stuff was good or even resonant, it just had to be recited with the right kind of righteous force.
Truer words, sir.
Also, the slam community itself is very, very exclusive and just kind of ugly if you're really in it all the time.
That's not what I meant above, though. By "out of it" I meant out of everything.
@Reginal T. Squirge if it helps, one thing that got me more into postpunk was the Pitchfork 500 book, which deliberately declares that era to be the beginning of coo/importantl music and highlights the ways in which songs & bands from that period have had lasting influence on pop music ever since.
Just found out my temp gig ends in a month, instead of (indefinite into the future until I find something better).
This weekend I will sleep, and sleep, and plan about how to ask my supervisors for references/connections, and do yoga, and feelsorryformyselfbutonlyalittle, and get really really healthy you guys. There's nothing like an actual honest-to-God tangible Problem To Solve to make you forget all the silly emotional ones, amirite?
@Queen of Pickles Word to the yoga and solid problems with clear solutions. Boo to feelings.
Petty grumbling: I subscribed to Julep as a self-reward for finishing a big project only to have the first shipment go missing on account of our slipshod, lame-ass mail service. One week after the supposed delivery date I am waiting (fruitlessly, I suspect) on a call back from the customer-relations person at the main post office in town. And feeling like this is vaguely my own fault for rewarding myself with mail-order nailpolish instead of, e.g., a donation to Heifer International or something. First world problems, right?
@Nicole Sauvage@twitter That sucks! I am in Canada and they haven't lost any of mine!
@Megano! Yeah, it's definitely USPS's fault. When I look up the tracking # it says the package was delivered last Friday, but no package here. Months ago I got a call from a woman 2 streets away who'd been getting our mail. I should have saved her number because she's probably using my nail polishes right now.
@Nicole Sauvage@twitter You should call customer service with them! They are super nice and helpful. I bought it as a gift for my mom and it took over a MONTH to get to her (because of USPS, not because of them--when you send things cheap-mail via USPS to where she is it can literally take six weeks, and the tracking wasn't working) and they sent her a new one. And then the old one arrived and I got to keep it!
@mangosara Yep, I need to go back to Julep and beg for mercy, because USPS has been minimally responsive (perfectly courteous, but minimally responsive) and I'm pretty sure that after a week and a half, the package is not going to reappear. The Postal Service gets a lot of things right but our local mail delivery is weirdly inconsistent.
I'm going apple picking on Sunday. Give me all your apple recipes, 'Pinners!
@meetapossum: I'm going to try Choire's tarte tatin recipe with some farmer's market apples this weekend.
@laurel I made that last weekend! I was hugely dumb and threw some brown sugar in, so I accidentally over-browned the caramel but it still ended up really tasty.
@meetapossum The Apple Pancake is my favorite. It's a puffy eggy custardy caramel-y kind of amazingness.
Here's the link: http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-weekend-13112
@meetapossum Make applesauce, because it is delicious, and then make Smitten Kitchen's spiced applesauce cake. She also recently posted a recipe for a roasted apple cake that I haven't tried yet but looks amazing, and her apple and cheddar scones are good but I would recommend either more cheddar or REALLY STRONG cheddar. Basically everything Smitten Kitchen.
And of course apple pie, but I don't have a "secret recipe" or anything. Make your own pie crust, only use brown sugar and as little as possible, and use nutmeg.
@meetapossum Dorset apple cake! Really easy, and the nearest my region has to a delicacy. A recipe here: http://www.channel4.com/4food/recipes/baking/cakes/dorset-apple-cake-recipe (I unfortunately don't have my dad's recipe, which is the best ever, but this is pretty similar. I think baking in a loaf tin rather than a round cake tin gets a better crust)
I have a costume idea, but as a conscientious person who cares about the world I don't know if it will come off as offensive.
I want to have a beard. Seriously, I want to be a bearded lady. I want to dress like I do (pretty femme-y) but I want to have a big ginger beard (I'm a redhead). I want it to look as realistic as possible. I don't want to dress as a man, I want to wear no other costume but a fake beard.
However, I want to be sensitive to the fact that this might not fly with the trans community (of which there are many members in my neighborhood). In a world of politically incorrect Halloween costumes, where does mine stand?
If it's a no-go, I'm gonna dress as a jellyfish.
@yrouttasight I wore a beard of bees one year. It was AWESOME. I also wore a really lady like pink vintage dress from the 60s, with pink gloves, and pink shoes, and a bee hive hairdo. Maybe that's a good way to wear a beard without being offensive?
(I think I bought my fake bees on ebay or amazon? Beard was made of brown felt with hair ties to loop over my ears.)
@Reginal T. Squirge BEADS.
@Reginal T. Squirge Gob's not on board.
@yrouttasight Ok, so I am not a trans person, but I am a lady who could grow a pretty sick beard if I ever got the guts to (or left my job to join the circus--don't think I don't fantasize about that on occasion), and I think this is pretty great.
This weekend is Thanksgiving, and life, and I'm organizing a charity thing on Sunday.
NEXT WEEK? MARIANA'S TRENCH. BE STILL MY HEART.
Speaking of, does anybody have chibi-art making skills who wants to whip me up a Josh and a Matt for some tshirts? I can't seem to make it work.
Did you get any good compliments this week?
My hair is really a dark brown, but sun lightens to a dead dandelion color in summer. My neighbor noticed the change, and said "You're like a reverse snow bunny!"
I'm absolutely not bragging because it's not cute like that, but my neighbor is so adorable that I wanted to share ^^
@Bloodrocuted I had a client tell me that I'm really good at explaining stuff. Which sounds like a really weird compliment, but was so exciting. Part of my job is translate fairly complicated financial stuff to lay terms and I worry that I get a lot of glazed-over eyes and people more confused than they used to be.
@Bloodrocuted I got 7 inches cut off my hair (went from a few inches below my shoulders to a short, wavy bob that hits just below my ears), and two separate co-workers of mine said I look like Mary Tyler Moore. I don't agree, and I think that it was just a weird, but lovely, coincidence.
@Bloodrocuted The clerk at one of the stores I frequent saw me wearing heels and a vintage dress instead of my normal t-shirt and shorts. She shrieked "YOU LOOK SO DIFFERENT."
Still trying to sort out whether this was a good thing or not. My personal Campaign to Be Less Neurotic has decided to interpret it as positive.
@Bloodrocuted I got a foot cut off my hair last weekend, this is the shortest it's been since I was 19, AND I got cute new cat-eyish glasses, and when my friend/softball coach saw me I got a "Daaaaaayaaaamn, lady!".
Which made me feel really good about my cute new 'do.
Some stranger (probably homeless) told me I looked sharp on Monday.
... and I got some other compliments that are among the best compliments of my life this week but I can't tell you about them.
@Reginal T. Squirge HOW DARE YOU DANGLE THAT OUT THERE, SPILL.
What did I just say?
@Bloodrocuted Oh my god did I. My totally ridiculous friend told me that I "have an ass like a smiling kitty." I don't even know, but I love it.
My ladyfriend also told me that I have the best barf stories. It was a good week for compliments.
That's what she said.
@entangled Sort of this is the best compliment, because making yourself understood is so important. You know what happens to geniuses who are misunderstood! (Suicide) (Shut up, you're being depressing) (But it's true)
@olivebee Wow, she's pretty and that is a good compliment! Does your hair curl up on the ends as well?
@VolcanoMouse I bet it's a compliment ^^ Do you see a wardrobe shift in your future?
@Brunhilde Cat-eye glasses are somehow bot reliably attractive and bold. Good choice.
@Reginal T. Squirge Looking sharp is such a good compliment. You look attractive and confident and maybe even rich. I'll be satisfied with that one.
@Cat named Virtute
Simply put, you can't say that and not share a barf story.
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak
@Bloodrocuted Haha, all right! When I was 12 I had to have a shit-ton of eye surgery in city in another province. My mom has a friend in that city who is a absolutely incredible cook, so one time when we were there, a few days after my surgery when I appeared to be well on the mend, he had us over for a super fancy dinner. He made lobster, which, coming from a middle-class family from the Canadian prairies, I had never eaten before. After dinner I started to not feel so good. It turned out that the surgery hadn't worked and the pressure on my optic nerve was skyrocketing, making me incredibly headachy and nauseated. I spent six hours that night vomiting up lobster and chocolate cake, to the point that I was vomiting up nothing in the car to the hospital the next morning. My mom gave me one of those tastation candies to suck on, thinking it might help, and I even vomited that up. I couldn't even smell melting butter for two years afterward without feeling slightly queasy. I still have a hard time eating most lobster and crab.
I also once got so drunk that I threw up on my own bed, went to take a shower with a glass of juice, and had to get out of the shower soaking wet to throw up again. Twice.
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak Hee.
OH AND I started reading Jane Austen for the first time this week, can we talk about Emma?? Mr Woodhouse is the cutest.
@lora.bee OMG, I read Emma for the first time this summer (having read Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, and Mansfield Park a hundred times) and had a terrifying "Which Jane Austen Heroine Are You?" moment when I realized that I am Emma. Nooooooooooooooooooo...
@lora.bee OMG, I love Emma so much. I had only read Pride and Prejudice before but I read Emma for the first time about two months ago. It's one of the funniest books I've ever read and Emma is so genuine and likable.
@par_parenthese What's wrong with being Emma? As @Ellie says, she is so likable!
But WHAT is Frank Churchill's deal?? I am about two thirds done. I do not like him.
@lora.bee OMG. Emma "Judgey McJudgerton" Woodhouse?
The things I hate about myself are the things I hate about her. Pretentious, loves being the puppetmaster in other people's lives, has to feel important and in the loop and the center of everything.
@par_parenthese I don't find her quite that judge-y! I don't see her as wanting to have control in other people's lives in a bad way, as she cares about them so much.
@par_parenthese Which Austen book should I read next??
@lora.bee Read Northanger Abbey! It's short, and SO UNBELIEVABLY SMARTASS. I love it. It's my #1 Austen rec for people new to Austen because it's the most obviously satirical of the six (or seven, depending on if you count Sanditon or not) and I think sets the tone really well for the rest of them. So many people don't get how sarcastic and sharp Austen is! They think she's like a romance novelist or some equally offensive bullshit. But Northanger Abbey is blatantly snarky in a really delicious way. It's definitely the one that made me LOL the most.
And re: Emma, this is one of many, many reasons I love Clueless. I think it captures Emma so well -- she's good-hearted in lots of ways but, because she feels like she has to be the center of everything, she ends up screwing things up, almost irrevocably. Even Austen called Emma unlikeable. But seriously reading Emma was like a really uncomfortable therapy session. I felt like I was seeing all my own issues in Regency form.
@par_parenthese How can you hate things about Emma?! She's really not pretentious at all to me. She's so good-hearted and her biggest fault is knowing the right thing to do and then not doing it.
@lora.bee Mansfield Park. Greatest book ever. It is absolutely fascinating in its discussion of class, it has such a range of characters (mostly awful, but in really interesting different ways), and it (arguably) has the most action of any of her books. It just moves from amazing set-piece scene (like Box Hill in Emma) to another, and it is so sharp.
@par_parenthese Northanger Abbey is my FAVORITE. You may keep your Messrs. Darcy, it is Henry Tilney all the way for me.
@lora.bee Persuasion, of course. I love Emma Woodhouse (because I'm more like her than I'd care to admit, and I have a thing for older guys), but Anne Elliott may be the best of them all.
So I didn't take any art classes (at all) in college and missed out on a bunch of really cool art history shit. But how come nobody told me about Bernini!? I literally just discovered this dude and all his works and it is astounding.
Plus, he has the coolest stories! He did some of that shit when he was 15! He had an affair with a woman named Costanza (and then had somebody give her a buck 50 when she cheated on him with his brother)!
I downloaded a documentary about him and was going to watch it but then was too busy in a movie theater, watching the restoration of Lawrence Of Arabia.
@Reginal T. Squirge Bernini is my favorite sculptor! I love how fluid he is able to make the marble look.
Also I love Brancusi whose work looks very different, but both of them have this ability to make sculpture look non-static, if that makes sense?
All of the works. All of them are breathtaking. Makes me want to go to Rome.
@Gone Away Lass Like Claudia and Jamie from The Mixed of Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankenweiler!
@Reginal T. Squirge I took a couple of art history classes to knock out my history requirements in community college and it turned out to be one of my most cherished educational experiences. It would be nice if I could remember more of the specifics, but I'll always have an abiding fondness for columns and arches.
@yrouttasight I think this is an awesome, fun idea that challenges people's ideas of beauty and gender and not at all offensive.
@aproprose I am SO relieved to hear(read) that.
Today I registered for skating classes put on by our local Flat Track Roller Derby league! It's exciting! I have ordered some of the gear but I need to see if I can pick up some other things at local skate shops and... and... I think I might end up becoming a roller girl, and that is kind of rad.
@Quadrophenia Definitely rad! I am a world-class klutz, so I cannot even stand on skates, so more power to you. Hope you have fun!
I think we should have a Chicago 'Pin-up at the Windy City Rollers sometime. Kinda pricey, though...
Any Canadians want to fume with me about Rona Ambrose? The Minister for the Status of Women voting to reopen the abortion debate? HOW IS THIS A FUCKING THING? And what the fuck is wrong with us as a country that we're just going to shrug and go "watcha gonna do" about it? At least in the states there's people with actual feelings about politics but here our reaction to EVERYTHING is a resounding "meh". I am so frustrated with the public in general. We have ended up with exactly the government we deserve and that's not a good thing.
@MilesofMountains Yes, but you effectively did all my fuming.
@MilesofMountains I WILL TAKE HER DOWN IN ALL CAPS.
Rick Mercer did a great thing for Maclean's about why he rants and more Canadians should. It's definitely VERY weird because Stephen Harper obviously cares to some extent about public opinion - he voted no, and my personal opinion is that's a political ambition thing. I guess because we're in a majority government, maybe there's not much that can be done? I hope she does not get re-elected. UGH. I don't even know.
However, I really liked Emma Teitel's takedown of her (she is awesome, new queer columnist for maclean's), she basically was like yeah, I don't want sex-selective abortion to happen in my country. BUT you can't make abortion a grey area spectrum. Either you support a woman's right to choose - to abort female babies, or babies with Down's syndrome, to abort in case of rape, and in every other circumstance. Or you don't. You can't say "well she can choose except if xyz" SO FUCK YOU RONA AMBROSE.
She is receiving a lot of negative backlash from that. I don't know if people necessarily know what to do aside from respond negatively because we have become apathetic consumers of democracy, but I would like to believe that it will stick with her.
@redheaded&crazie Actually, I do have some fuming to do.
I feel like the debate was TOTALLY LACKING in actually critiquing the bill. The bill's intention was to strike a committee to investigate, scientifically, when human life begins. THIS IS NOT A SCIENTIFIC QUESTION. It's fundamentally not. It's a theological, or political, or sociological question, but not a scientific one, because there's no scientific basis to determine it. The committee would not only have been anti-choice, but cloaked in a "scientific legitimacy".
But people (RONA AMBROSE I'M LOOKING AT YOU) just voted for it like it made fucking sense.
@MilesofMountains I'm definitely angry about it. I posted about it on Facebook and Twitter, and talked to my coworkers about it even though most of them are men who don't share my politics. But I also feel sort of helpless, because the Conservatives have a majority and pretty much just do what they want. Until the next election, I do kind of just shrug and go "whatcha gonna do", because I really don't KNOW what we're gonna do.
@RobotsNeedLove Of course Rona Ambrose doesn't care that it doesn't make sense because her reason for voting for it makes no fucking sense. You don't agree with gender-based abortions so you want to open the debate about "where life begins"? How the fuck does that address your issue? She just googled "feminist opposition to abortions" and picked the first thing she could find to cover her fuckery.
@QuinnA@twitter You're right, maybe I'm being unreasonable. I have actually seen a heartening about of protest to the Enbridge pipeline, so we're not completely silent. I think I've got some leftover rage about Bill C-38 and the fact that this government seems to be able to do whatever it wants with no consequences.
@MilesofMountains I will fume with you! Ugh, so much fuming.
@Cat named Virtute All the fuming! I hate Stephen Harper and all his little cronies! I hate that they have a majority. I hate that we will probably be stuck with them for years, because it seems no one gets booted from office unless they have been in power for a decade.
It is so sad to look forward to something IMMENSELY for three and a half years and then it's not that awesome. D:
@youresmalltime You're not talking about season three of Sherlock are you?!
All kidding aside, that sounds rough! What happened?
@youresmalltime I am also curious! Is it a video game/movie/boyfriend/girlfriend?
@Ashley Lange@facebook It is a video game/movie boyfriend!
Also I love that you say video game first. Because it is! Disappointing major title in a series I visibly obsess over.
@youresmalltime Nooooooooooooooo! I wanted to get your thoughts on this, and I am sad to hear 'em. I stayed up making a Leon portrait pendant on Sunday night, went to the midnight opening in a hastily thrown-together Leon costume on Monday night, then got incredibly sick on Tuesday and have since spent the week barely managing to function and get paying work done (no fun, and no gaming). On Thursday I broke down and looked at some reviews (dread-inspiring, and not in the good way). Dammit. Maybe it'll be better to be forewarned.
On a cheerier note, I am working on a new video game related project and have been wanting to get in touch with you and some of the other Girl Talk regulars about it. Hit me up at firstname.lastname@example.org if you're interested!
@Jennifer Culp I have to be fair! I haven't played a WHOLE lot because I'm finding the switch in controls and etc. very difficult to get used to! It's like they said, "Oh! Left 4 Dead was really popular! LET'S CHANNEL." But I feel bad saying it!
In better news, the movie I mentioned in the comments of My Favorite Hairpin Article Ever, Damnation, has come out and was OUTSTANDING. Look it up if you haven't!
E-mail coming soon. Would love to help!
@wee_ramekin That was exactly where my brain went to too!
(grim story time) When I was really hitting the worst of my depression one of my sort-of-joking sort-of-not thoughts was, well I have to at least keep going until season three of Sherlock, because otherwise I will never know the resolution to Reichenbach.
I HAVE A WORK DILEMMA.
I am currently a temp. A long-term temp (my assignment got extended through the end of the year, so six months total at that point), but a temp nonetheless.
My job sort of entirely hinges on one woman, because she is the contact with my agency and approves my timesheets ever week so that I can get paid.
She is also a heinous human being.
Bitter, catty, mean, petty, and a HUGE gossip. She hates everyone in the office, and tells me ALL about it. She's clearly looking for me to validate her meanness, and she's started basically trying to use me as a spy to tell her who came in late and who is doing what that they shouldn't be.
How do I get this to not be a thing anymore, while also not losing my job. I don't really have a relationship with HR because I am hired through this mean lady and the temp agency, not them.
Ooooh. Girl, this is a sticky wicket. I suggest a few things:
1. Submit this question to Alison Green, the person behind askamanager.org. She is like the Dan Savage/Dear Sugar of work-related issues (I realize those two people are v. v. different).
2. Read that website for similar problems
3. Play dummmmbbbb. Seriously. Don't get defensive, or quiet, or unsure - just say, in a cheerful voice, "Oh, I'm not sure what time Alicia came in. Do you want me to ask her for you?" or, "I didn't notice how long Tim's lunch break was. Do you want me to ask him for you?" Don't take a moral stance - "I don't feel comfortable telling you," etc, unless it's something that it really would be inappropriate to talk about at work. Just pretend like she's asking you nothing unusual, and say that you really don't know?
Relentlessly polite! Breezily dumb! Unfazable! Hopefully she'll see eventually that while you're not going to fight her on this, you're not going to play the game.
If you worked there permanently, my advice would be different. But that's what I got. Anyone else got any better ideas?
@thatgirl Ugh. I'd try to be as noncommital as possible. So really bland answers to every question, e.g., "Did so-and-so come in late?" reply: "You know, I was really absorbed in X project, so I didn't notice."
Are there other contacts at your temp agency, who your position could be transfered to? How much contact is unavoidable. If she's really problematic, do everything possible by email, so you have an e-paper trail.
@Queen of Pickles I am so going to check that place out.
I've been trying to just be really noncommittal and hope my phone rings when she's targeting me.
She also asks these WEIRD personal questions. One of the guys who works here is a gardener, and we talked about plants and he brought me an asian basil plant (which was SUPER NICE of him!), and Mean Lady saw the exchange and had this look of disgust on her face while asking what I was going to do with a plant (...cook with it.) and why I wanted it (...because I like plants.) and how WEEEEEIRD gardener-guy is (...because he has a thick accent?) and UGH.
Fortunately, everything else about this job is awesome.
@Queen of Pickles Breezily dumb is the best advice ever! That is my constant work mode and it is a lifesaver in customer service. I cannot be insulted if I won't acknowledge that you are trying to insult me. I've had people wander away bewildered because their complaints couldn't penetrate my doe-eyed naivete. Like, "Oh really you can't enjoy your food without napkins? What an interesting fact?" When clearly they are being sarcastic and want to me scrape and grovel and beg forgiveness. Ahh it's so perfect.
But yes, playing dumb also works for staying neutral with an office gossip. Eventually they will write you off as a worthless source and move on to someone else.
Hmm... I'd also recommend shrugging a lot. Someone gives you a plant? "What are you going to do with it?"
Smile, shrug. What DOES one do with a plant?
"His accent is so WEIRD, isn't it?"
Smile, shrug. "Is there anything else you need?"
@thatgirl Haha, that's actually perfect, because usually my breezily dumb approach is to treat the other person like a toddler who I have to be very patient with and explain very basic facts to: so what do you do with a plant? Lol. Put it in the ground, so it can grow. People are weird.
Also, sometimes it helps to have an inside joke (with someone not in the work environment) or an only in your own head nickname, so you can blow off steam in a silent way.
@Queen of Pickles I am totally going to use this smile-shrug on other people I know who do the exact same microaggression crap. ("Why would you have worn that nail polish color??" "Because I thought it was cute, duh.")
@Queen of Pickles I just printed out "relentlessly polite! Breezily dumb! Unfazable!" and taped it to my computer. I'm learning that my friend-cum-coworker is not a good friend and kind of awful. I spend my free time thinking of clever comebacks to her passive aggressive bullshit comments, but I think a policy of RELENTLESS POLITENESS and BREEZY DUMBNESS is a better approach.
@Queen of Pickles OH MAN. Apparently, "RELENTLESSLY POLITE AND BREEZILY DUMB" results in us having several second long staring contests. I have a mild and vapidly pleasant expression, she looks constipated, and then after a few seconds, she leaves.
Anybody in San Francisco today want to join me in HATING THE AIR SHOW? I hate air shows. HATE THEM! Agh. It's terrifying and it seems very unnecessary. There's another low flying instrument of death right now :(
Here in Chicago we suffer annually from the Air & Water Show during which the government wastes money to broadcast its ability to waste money and kill people! Seriously it is my least favorite part of living here.
@roadtrips: Ugh, fleet week flyovers, they're unseemly. In any other context it's VERY BAD NEWS when the fighter jets are flying over your city.
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll FWIW the US government doesn't sponsor the Air and Water show--Shell Oil is the main sponsor.
@roadtrips YEP. Love my new job, wish it were in the OAK for the duration of those wretched Blue Angels and their stay in (over?) SF.
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll Ugh. I used to live in Chicago and work at the MCA - it was DREADFUL. Seriously, Air Show = metaphor for many many things that are wrong with many other things.
@roadtrips I live in Seattle, but hating on the Blue Angels is an annual event for me. Every summer, they fly over my neighborhood and workplace and scare the shit out of me.
@roadtrips @summer somewhere Ooooh, I live in Annapolis and I legitimately thought that hating on the Blue Angels was a thing that only I in the universe did--every year during the Naval Academy graduation week they have HOURS of practice, plus an airshow, plus a flyover during the ceremony. The practice in particular goes right over my roof for hours at a time during a random weekday.
from my local snarky weekly's annual blue angels gripefest.
This week was a good week! Cut my hair, Hairlequin was last night and fun, Interview at Worn Fashion Journal in a couple o' hours. Possibly found some cute apartments pretty much downtown! And possibly maybe grandma's cooking this weekend!
Not good things: still haven't got paid for working this August, and when I followed up today they were like, "but you got paid in June" THAT WAS A DIFFERENT MONTH I CAME IN AND TEMPED ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?
@Megano! And your haircut looks damn good.
Who just got gifted a three day weekend? THIS GIRL.
I need some new warm winter lounge-y type clothes. I work from home so they'll get a lot of use.
I'd like Patagonia's plush synchilla pants and hoodie 'cause dog hair doesn't, like, become one with it unlike lots of other fleece. But ugh, $160 plus delivery feels a little steep.
Does anyone have a source for warm fleece that doesn't draw every stray hair to it?
@laurel Patagonia isn't cheap but it does last forever and is super easy to care for. If you wear those pants a lot this winter, your price per wear will be down waaaaay low. I use price per wear to decide on pricey stuff: will it last long enough for me to wear it enough to make it cheap on a per-wear basis? Then into the shopping cart. I did the same math with Lululemon wonder unders: 100 bucks for leggings? No effing way....100 bucks for leggings that will still look nearly new after four years of wearing & washing at least twice a week (i use them for running/yoga/lounging/going out/work casual days and camping)? hell yes.
Also holy shit guys I think I am really serious with the whole writing a novel thing. It is approaching 50,000 words when I put all the bits and pieces together.
And maybe I will have some porn for you later, if y'all want it~
@Porn Peddler I thought that went without saying!
HE'S HOME omg we're gonna snuggle and eat onigiri and watch parks and rec now
APARTMENT HUNT NYC 2012 is upon me: The worst? The worst.
Advice? Brokers scare me. Crazy roommates scare me more.
@gna207 I'd ask if you wanted to take my room in November, but my roomies are, if not crazy, total stoner shut-ins.
@gna207 So I won't share my crazy roomate story, but let's just say it involves crack cocaine and a mattress on top of a pile of junk and tighty whities that always ended up in the kitchen. And oh god the george forman grilled cheese sandwiches at 4 am.
But other than that he was a sweet guy and conscientious roommate.
@Danzig! Stoner shut-ins don't sound bad, unless the cops visit a lot or you can't get a moment to yourself at the place.
@adorable-eggplant we called ours "the clomper" she clomped around in her party heels at 1am cooking - I kid you not - multi-course meals! She never offered us ANY of it. That's the offensive part. I'd have killed for a grilled cheese.
I just don't want to live in a teeeny box. And I HATE negotiating.
@whateverlolawants Stoner shut ins smell icky and probably also play video games all day (with obnoxious music turned way loud) and almost definitely leave half eaten bowls of frosted flakes in the sink.
I have no hard feeling towards my crackhead roommate and his bizarre cooking schedule (@gna207 thank goodness, he was always barefoot) but the same could not be said for my feelings towards the slovenly stoned dudebros (who were not even my roomates! They were my friends roomates, but I couldn't spend any time at his house without feeling grimy and it sucked).
@adorable-eggplant Yeah that's the main thing about living with my roommates - they are perpetually stoned, watch endless marathons of TV (which they often profess to hate but apparently are incapable of stopping) and are messy as fuck because of it. Instead of washing dishes they just bought a fuck ton of them, so there's always crusty plates and bowls in the living room (which is right next to the kitchen) as well as half-eaten food in the sink. It all gets done in bursts when the sink bears enough of a load that water cannot escape down the drain.
@Danzig! Oh man, I feel you. My friend hit a freekout level when someone peed in the sink (bathroom sink, but still whyyyyyyy?). Do you have your own room or do you share? Because if you have a space to yourself, I suggest getting some grapefruit essential oil or something else that has a bright fresh smell (mint works too) and then having a little sanctuary of clean.
Cause gah that don't care for hygiene stuff gets so grating! Pine and eucalyptus are also lovely scent blockers.
@adorable-eggplant Whoa yeah that is a bridge too far!
I have my own room, thankfully. I'm not the tidiest person but I draw the line solidly at food waste - you do not leave that out for any reason. I'll check out the essential oil, though. The cats were kept out of this room before I moved in and they took to peeing in the closet :( I could use some smell assistance.
I grew up in a pretty messy household, so I'm pretty lenient, but I figure the least you can do is (a) not obstruct the drain and (b) bring your dishes to the sink / give them a prelim wash with water. I freeeeaaaak outttt when food festers in the sink, I can't take it.
@Danzig! And for the audible equivalent of a sanctuary of clean, here's some J.S. Bach: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl6R4Ui9blc Dude could rock, while at the same time being incredibly calming. :)
@Danzig! Eww, yeah, that is gross.
I might know of a place in Brooklyn off the R subway line. (But it might be taken already!) It's an "efficiency studio" (read: very small space but at least there are no roommates!) and the neighborhood is quite safe. Rent is $725 including heat and electricity. Let me know and I'll give you the landlord's number!
@gna207 When I found my apartment I didn't want to use a broker and I also didn't want to live with people I didn't know (all of my roommate experiences had been atrocious so I didn't want to find a room on craiglist) so what I did is I walked around the neighborhoods I liked (never straying too far from a subway) and when I saw someone go into a decent looking apartment I'd follow them in and look for the plaque on the wall that lists the property management number (or the landlord number). Then I'd call them and ask if they had any studios available that I could see. I had 3 days to find an apartment (also why I wasn't going with roommates, I didn't think that was enough time to weed out the crazy people) and I found one the second day and signed the lease on the third. I realize that seems like a difficult way to find a place but if you want to live alone I think it's way easier to find something affordable this way than by looking online. My place definitely pushes the limits of my budget but it's giant and my rent is the same as what all my friend's pay to live with roommates. Places similar to this that I saw online (with and without a broker) were double to triple the cost of what I pay. So you might have to pay more but if you want to live alone it's worth a shot.
Also check the NYC hairpin facebook group to see if anyone has a spare room and wants a roommate.
@Sea Ermine My city's housing/renting market is less "stressful" than NYC's, but I used a similar method to find a place, and it worked out very well. I love my place, and it was never advertised on Craigslist (as far as I know.)
I'm turning 30 on Tuesday. AAAHHH!!! My husband got us Amy Schumer tickets since she is coming to Boston in December. Very excited. I'd also like to get myself something nice and grown-up. Like a good leather purse.
Also, October 9 is like the perfect day for a birthday because it's always around Columbus day, so I get a nice three day weekend without the hassle of requesting time off. This is why I can never leave the Northeast.
@lobsterhug Happy birthday, lady! I hope it is a great day.
@lobsterhug Happy early birthday!! My husband saw Amy Schumer last year and really enjoyed it. Hope you have fun!
@anachronistique It will be thrilling day of getting my name changed at the Social Security Administration :)
Has anyone else had a moment when you realize that *you* are the asshole? Last night I found out my grandma has lymphoma and felt very not upset (mostly sad for my mom) and then I accidentally said something that upset my boyfriend that I really shouldn't have said. He's a new teacher and I started asking him about something that made him question his ability. I think I give people a hard time or joke with them in a way that is probably just mean. How do you stop being so sarcastic? Is this possible?
@mackymoo I struggle with this a lot. Sometimes defensiveness or being callous with my humor is how I avoid being vulnerable (whoa nelly, here comes the therapy language...) but it's also not actually the path to happiness. That being said, it's always possible to come back from it, if you want to. You just have to really sit with the emotions as opposed to blowing past them in anger or cynicism (if you're me!)
@mackymoo Did you see that article a month or two ago about sarcasm? I can't remember the title, but I bet someone will. There was a really good discussion there. And yeah, I occasionally do that... I'm pretty sensitive usually, but sometimes something just pops out of my mouth or I don't realize that a friend is sensitive about a certain topic. It feels awful.
So, post-doctor visit, it's official that I have a tiny little embryo in my uterus. When can I start telling people? I mean, besides my parents, and my sisters, and my co-workers and a couple of my friends. And the Hairpin.
Did I just answer my own question?
@miss buenos aires Aw congrats!
@miss buenos aires CONGRATULATIONS!!!
No more temperature taking!
Thanks! I think I may have come off as a little Type A when the doctor asked me when my last period started and I pulled out my chart of waking temperatures and cervical fluid observations for reference. I just really wanted to get started!
@miss buenos aires Congrats! (I mean, it sounds like you're good with this, so congrats seem to be in order.) I think most people wait until after the second or third month. But whenever you want!
@miss buenos aires Post it all over your blog. That's a good start! (What's that? You don't share every life detail on your blog? Well NUTS TO YOU)
@miss buenos aires Oh, congratulations! I think the only correct answer on when to tell is: whenever the hell you are ready to tell is the right time!
@miss buenos aires Eeeee, yay, congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly!
@Cat named Virtute
Thanks for all the well wishes, ladies!
Wondering if I should take meds for ADD. I took them briefly (as prescribed, no funny business) years ago in college, and they worked pretty well for me. Lately (and really forever) I've felt like I can't catch up on anything, can't concentrate, get distracted by insignificant side projects, and can't get the big stuff done because of all the small things. I also stayed up really late last night and couldn't sleep, thinking about everything I have to do. And really, it's not THAT much. My job isn't stressful and I don't take it home. I don't have kids or a pet. I did move recently, and the house still isn't in order, and I have an out-of-town vacation coming up. And I never end up writing anything like I want to.
So yeah, lots of ADD. Plus I always feel late and scatterbrained. Anyone take meds for that? Thoughts? Like I said, I already took Concerta for a little while in college and it worked pretty well for me, although I felt kind of nervous about the whole idea, and I only did it for a semester or so. I already got a talk from a friend about how you can't tell anyone you take them, or they'll get stolen, and how you can't give them to anyone or you could get in all sorts of trouble, and how doctors and insurance companies are pretty wary about prescribing/covering them. (Which I knew already, but yeah.) Also, I was never formally diagnosed. But my doctor was very understanding with my symptoms and said he was the same way. (Maybe he's loose with prescriptions?? Whatever, I didn't abuse it.)
In non-ADD related news, I'm going on a trip to the place where my Pin Pal lives! I need to mail her my info so we can possibly hang out. Has anyone met their Pin Pals? Would you want to, or would you want to maintain the mystery? I won't be offended if she can't or doesn't want to, but it would be fun to meet. We've only exchanged a few letters, but she's pretty rad.
Finally... I LOVE AUTUMN.
I had pretty bad ADHD as a kid and the meds made me awkwardly non-existent. I felt like a zombie and also told my dad that I didn't want to wake up the next day. Not suicidal, but I just didn't care about anything.
Anyway, I have an elaborate system of lists and other bizarre things that help me. It has taken a while, but I managed to set up a system that helps me keep track of things.
For short tasks that require a lot of short term attention, I set timers. Kind of Unfuck your habitat style of 20/10s. Twenty minutes of work and ten minutes of fucking off. You have to set timers though, otherwise fucking off time runs over. I find that if I have a dedicated 10 minutes to do all of those things (make grocery lists, google "bottle cap tap shoes" and "final countdown lyrics" and find out what the weather will be like for my birthday) then I actually work for twenty minutes.
For extended/large tasks (for me, lesson planning and more than 5 page paper writing) I break it into chunks. I write each chunk on an index card and split them into mini tasks. For the mini tasks I do that same timer thing as above.
For things that I really, really hate to do I break the task down, do the timer thing AND make a reward system. If I do the mini tasks and use the timer correctly, then I get to do something fun (even if it's small) like do the last mini-task at my favorite coffee shop outside, buy a new kindle book, use a pedicure groupon (when I was more broke I did more free kind of reward things).
I also get my friends to help me out too. I find that hive mind helps me work. If someone else is working on something I tend to be better at paying attention. I have some friends that are really good at tasking and I get together with them and do work. That may not help anyone but me though.
Annnnnnd this is probably super controversial and may get me a lot of hate face...but I had to kind of chill out and alter my expectations of myself. I just kind of said "This is it, this is me. My brain works a different way because I am different and people are different and I don't want to medicate myself just to be like everyone else." <-----this does NOT work for everyone. This is NOT what I think everyone should do. Some people need medication. I have made a lot of compromises with what I want/how I wanted my life to turn out because of this. (10 years to finish my bachelors, in a profession that is not my first choice etc) because I do what works for my brain instead of trying to force my brain to do what it is supposed to.
I know this is long, but it's something I am passionate about. I am in education and I HATE how much we promote medication vs. trying other things.
GOOD LUCK! No matter what choice you make. You'll figure out what is best for you.
@whateverlolawants I know this is a super-late reply, but I met my 'pin pal. She lives close-ish my hometown, so we hung out when I was home for the summer. It was really fun.
@Harriet Welch Thanks so much for your thoughts! It was really helpful.
So, my first anniversary with my girlfriend is in nine days. We are agreed on not doing gifts, because I had to buy us a couple of very expensive plane tickets this month, but I'd still like to make her something nice/romantic.
The problem? I am neither crafty nor romantic. And I have already (recently) written her a list of things that I love about her, which included references to a lot of our favourite shared memories.
Does anyone have any suggestions of romantic things I could do without needing to be good with glitter and paint and glue and such? It would be much appreciated!
@Quinn A@twitter make her favorite baked good (or other dessert-y thing) and include a sappy card saying how much you love her? bonus points if you buy a blank card and actually write your own message inside instead of just signing something you buy at Target.
@Quinn A@twitter write her limericks, build a romance-fort to make out in, do an interpretive dance, make a flip book, arrange her closet by color, put love notes in every pocket she has, be gut wrenchingly sincere.
@christonacracker You are good at this, I have to say.
All right, I have a super 9th grade issue here. Got a new fella; fell in love, hand't told him yet. Apparently I wear my heart on my sleeve, because a couple of weeks ago, when I would stare longingly at his handsome face, he would laugh and say, "is there something you want to tell me?" Finally I gave in and told him, because I was starting to wonder why I hadn't had the nerve to tell him yet. Then he gives me a THANK YOU (albeit sweetly and with many kisses) and announceS, "I already knew that." I feel like it was really douchey of him to keep prompting me like that if he wasn't going to respond in kind. yes?
@christonacracker seriously, yo. UNKIND.
@christonacracker Barf. Seriously dude?
@christonacracker UGH I thought so. I don't have any complaints otherwise so this is very left-field level douchey. He had better have a reasonable yet obviously misguided explanation or love shall be reconsidered.
@christonacracker You should say something. Like, seriously, guy?
@christonacracker Whoa WTF. Maybe I am a prideful person because I would've totally flipped my shit.
@christonacracker That makes me think of an episode of the Golden Girls (ha ha, what doesn't?) where Rose (or...Sophia?) tells the dude she loves him, and he just says Thank you, but admits later that he just doesn't say "I Love You" so he doesn't have to commit emotionally.
To which I say, phooey! Life is for loving, not for keeping at arm's length while getting off on adoration.
@christonacracker Yeah, it seems like he's just in love with the idea of being loved. It comes off a bit narcissistic to me. It's one thing to not reciprocate an "I love you," because everyone will say it when they are ready, but he totally goaded you into saying it to stroke his ego.
@christonacracker NOT COOL, super manipulative, major red flags flying and alarm bells ringing!
I'm off work early to go to a wedding for two people I don't particularly think should get married*! Here's to keeping my mouth shut about it and giving them a kick-ass wedding gift anyway, because, woo, being an adult!
In other news I am ordering new work boots tomorrow, after not having any boots that fit properly for over two years (I have very narrow, very weird feet). Hurray! No hurray for having to pay almost twice what I would for a pair just off the shelf (whhhy must my feet be THIS weird?), but w/e.
*I do not think they should get married inasmuch as both of them have gone, "going through with this wedding is probably a really bad idea, but lol oh well we've already paid how much for the venue? We can always get it annulled later if things don't work out!" Like, good LORD, you can get your deposit back! That is a Thing You Can Do. You can also reschedule the ceremony for a later date, or put it off...I know, cold feet and all, but the things they both said have made me go D:, you are my friends and I want what is best for you, and I don't think get married is best, but oh well, it's not like I can tell you NOT to, it's not my place and you're set on going through with it.
@Jenn@twitter Oooh, what work do you do that requires boots? And you're doing that wedding thing all classy-like. I hope your friends do what makes them happy.
@whateverlolawants I work in a lab! I'm a grad student but I do a lot of my lab work in an industrial lab in the north of town. Mostly I am ordering boots because I have Very Large Very Weird Feet and I've found in the past that custom-ordering a good pair of boots in men's sizes costs less and means that you will have boots for basically the rest of your life if you treat them well (or if they don't have concentrated acid spilled all over them by your idiot lab partner, ugh undergrad!--also this is totally why your TA tells you to wear close-toed shoes in the chem lab!). Also they're lab-appropriate (a lot of the other shoes I've looked into getting that have been customize-able have not been, for various reasons), and, well, boots! Who doesn't want to rock a pair of engineer boots? :D
And, yeah, I'm kind of :/ about the entire affair, but with any luck they'll figure it out and either stay together or split amicably...they got engaged as a last-ditch, "let's fix our relationship for good!" thing, and far from working out the stress of planning the wedding has sorta forced them apart more. :(
@Jenn@twitter Hogod, I cannot even imagine. Never try to fix a relationship with a wedding or, even worse, a baby. Fingers crossed for a friendly, mutual parting of ways or a miraculous, hey, this is actually really awesome to be married feeling. :)
@adorable-eggplant That's more or less my feeling on it. I don't know anyone that has gotten married or had a kid or moved in together to 'fix it' and is still with the same person now.
Thanks to all who swooped in and picked me up late last week in the Friday thread. I have emails and hotline numbers on hand just in case. It's been a rough week but I think I'm handling it.
Story was that I saw The Master and it interacted with the awful change in weather to bring up some Bad Feelings. I called up my best friend back home and told her that I needed her help, but she never got back to me. This either indicates that she's 100% through with me entirely (like "doesn't recognize me as a person" through) or that she's just been unreachable for whatever reason, and I'm not crazy enough to believe the former.
So that was of some help, surprisingly, since many of my catastrophic thoughts revolved around losing my support system entirely. I know it's still out there, but... unavailable. Which is better than nothing. My therapist is also putting me on an antidepressant for the first time in 7 or 8 years, which I'm conflicted about. I'll give it a shot at least.
I've got stuff to look forward to though, I suppose. Lots of schoolwork (SO MUCH), but I'm headed out to Philly for the weekend to see friends and next week is a big show I've been waiting over a year to see. So that's all good. The feelings persist but I'm focusing on their transient nature.
ALSO shouts out to the New York people from last week, can't remember if I got to all y'all. We had a small group show up sans the book club but it was fun.
Love again to all who rallied for me on Sunday night, you're the best.
I lost the one person who was my support system this time last year, after being terrified of exactly that for a long time. And when it did happen, a lot of other people came through for me in lots of small ways. It was really shitty, but not as shitty as I'd feared.
@Danzig! Oh, I didn't see last week's thread! But I'm sorry to hear bad shit happened. It's good that you've got some good things going on this week. Hang in there.
@Danzig! Sometimes the worst happens, and then life keeps going and that can be a big relief. I'm glad to hear you're doing the work and all that jazz to make it better.
Sometimes people don't react well to pressure. If I had a time machine, I'd go back and help a friend who I bounced on because I was overwhelmed with my own shit at the time (high school, tho, who wasn't?) so a lot of times it's about their own limitations. Which still sucks.
Maybe some other folks will have ideas about how to rebuild a support system. One of the rec's that I have is turning to people who are dealing with or have dealt with similar things, because often they've got more patience and understanding. Groups like Al Anon can be really powerful for that reason. Anyway, I hope you find you feet and people and all that good stuff; sometimes it just takes a foundation shaking to get that rolling.
@billie_crusoe That's good to hear (about the unexpected support, not the loss). I've never felt particularly comfortable about turning to the internet for succor, but when you're feeling down oftentimes it's just a manifestation of the urge to withdraw from people who might be receptive.
@whateverlolawants I will!
@adorable-eggplant The support group route has been suggested to me before, I had some bad experiences as a kid (mostly because they were actually research groups conducted by clueless grad students) so I was leery, but I'm coming around to the idea. I'd have to wait a month or two until I move to a new city, though - it's not good to drop in on a group and leave abruptly.
As for other peoples' limitations, I totally understand that. I think my backup couldn't help me for exactly that reason. It feels shitty but those people would help, had they the tools in the moment to do so.
@Danzig! I only saw your post yesterday when I went to respond to a late reply on a comment thread, but I am so glad so many 'Pinners were there to reply, and that you have good things coming up in your life, and a therapist who seems helpful. You are such a great part of the community here, and I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time and that your friend isn't around to help. I've been in that struggling-alone-without-someone-to-listen place, and I empathize so hard with how awful it is. Here's to hoping things improve. Big hugs and good thoughts to you.
@Cat named Virtute Thx <3
@Danzig! I just caught up on that thread, and it's wonderful to get an update that you're holding up. I'm sorry that you still haven't heard from your friend. Hopefully we can be there for you a little bit. Keep on keepin' on <3
@Danzig! Hey, love. Just chiming in to say that I totally get the antidepressant ambivalence -- have been there before and likely will end up there again. You're wise to give it a go -- it could be the case that three weeks from your first dose, you suddenly see a little more light. I certainly hope so.
@this brave bird (formerly vanillawaif) I'm hoping so. Has anyone had any experience w/ Cymbalta (sp?)?
@Danzig! My dad takes that, not for depression but because it helps with a weird, non-diabetic foot tingling/burning he developed. My dad has a history of dark moods and low self-esteem and I think the Cymbalta actually lifted that dark curtain a little for him as a nice side effect.
@Danzig! Cymbalta is the only thing that has worked long-term for me. Well, I had to add in some Wellbutrin last year, but that combo works for me. You will always find support and support about anti-depressants from me!
@Danzig! Not Cymbalta, but when I was really depressed, I felt like the antidepressant (Lexapro?) just took away the bottom 20% of my moods (which were the really scary ones.) I'm very glad I took it at the time. I hope it works out for you.
@Danzig! I am wicked late to this thread, but my partner was on Cymbalta for a while and it helped (he had tried a couple other things before). I noticed an incremental pick-me-up in him after three weeks; he felt a noticeable difference about a month in.
Give it a try?
Ten thousand hugs to you, if you want them; it's a hard place to be in (says the lady on the side of it all - it was hard not to be able to take some of it on, for the dude in question, but he did and he's well and we're good). I'm rooting for you. If you need more people or more resources, I'm here too.
@Danzig! Thanks! :) going well so far
omg on top of being the only person in this godforsaken city to not have monday off, NO HAIRPIN?! injustice! injustice!
@charmcity Just come back here on Monday and all'a us who have to work can commiserate?
@charmcity I don't have Monday off?
@frigwiggin It's a date! Anti-Columbus Internet Pinup 2012!
@charmcity I don't either! I don't like the imperialist connotations of Columbus Day anyway (but an extra day off would have been great.)
@whateverlolawants My university did the MLK/Columbus Day swap a while ago :( I actually would like BOTH off, please!
@Peachy Ugh yes please ALL THE HOLIDAYS.
When I lived in Asia, we got all the western holidays off AND all the Buddhist holidays! It was fantastic. And, like, inclusive and stuff. Yaaaaaaay!
@charmcity I don't have the day off, but the fact that many other people do means everything I had to do today can't be done. So..here I am....just leaving sad voicemails, all day.
Today started of GREAT because of a bisquits n' gravy breakfast! Also, SlutWalk tomorrow ya'll!!! Signage ideas are welcome.
advice please! last month I broke up with boyfriend of 5 years. we had been together since I was 20 and lived together for 2 years. he's finaaaallly moved all of his shit out and is coming to take one of our two cats tonight and give me the keys. and then thats officially IT. so far I have drunkenly made out with a friend of a friend (whoops), crashed at friends' houses, rearranged my entire apartment, and got embarrassingly way too drunk last weekend and am effectively cut off. so.. now what? HALP
@cd I recommend a drastic haircut!
@charmcity Or, bleach! Nothing says newly single like blonde and drunk!
@cd Tattoo? But seriously, when I broke up with my boyfriend-of-4-years last spring, my main coping/moving on methods were: watching TV shows and listening to music I loved before I met him (i.e. in college), having super long conversations with my mom because she is contractually obligated to listen (or at least pretend to listen), taking myself out for nice dinners and making eyes at cute guys on the street/train/bar, getting super dressed up to do things like read in the park, and reading classic books about heartbreak. Also, I let myself cry whenever I needed to! Also also, I started seeing a therapist, which was very helpful processing. Ending an LTR can be super intense and scary sometimes and it helped me to have an objective viewpoint. Good luck and have fun!
@roadtrips Yes, THIS. Some people call it regressing. I call it listening to a lot of Destiny's Child.
@cd I was in the exact same situation a few years ago. (I mean, down to the age and other deets.) I made sure I wasn't alone in the evenings (I seriously went saw friends or did something every night), I took a trip, and I read a self-help book (this is unprecedented in my life.) Mostly I saw tons of people, which kept me from wallowing, and also had the added benefit of getting the word out to everyone we knew (my ex refused to admit that we had broken up and wouldn't talk about it, causing no small amount of confusion).
@charmcity Forgot to mention I got bangs cut like the first week after we broke up haha
@roadtrips @geek_tragedy great advice, thanks! I think I slipped into stay in too much this past week or so after my bender ended. time to step it up!
@cd Look for the little things you stopped doing because he wasn't really into them, and start doing them again. After my ex moved out, I drank flavored coffee for a month because he didn't like flavored coffee and I was okay with regular coffee. NBD, but the flavored coffee was like a small daily reminder that I'd done the right thing.
Californians: also dreading the gas shortage? I felt like a scaremongerer texting my friends and going to fill up last night while it was still $4.21, but I don't fuck around when it comes to gas.
@frigwiggin Whaaaaaaaaat gas shortage are we talking about? Someone was vague on facebook about $5-ish gas in the LA area, but otherwise this is the first I've heard about it!
@frigwiggin The Chevron near my place was up to $4.71 this morning and I live in the burbs where public transport disappears on weekends. Blech.
@polka dots vs stripes There was...a refinery fire in Richmond or something? But gas prices in the state are supposed to start topping $5 soon and some places are closing.
@frigwiggin I paid $4.79 a gallon and I just thought it was because my gas light went on in Portola Valley and I got screwed. I can't decide if I'm happy to know I didn't overpay or depressed that wasn't a one time thing.
I feel redundant because I already talked about this on the HFC, but: I've been emailing with a woman who runs a REALLY SUPER COOL project with refugees, and things are totally up in the air and not at all certain, but I could potentially have a dissertation project soon? Which would be amaaaazing because this is my first semester.
I am totally out of my league because I'm taking the first program evaluation class in my department this semester, and am also trying to work out my own independent (with lots of oversight) evaluation project, and, AH! but I think it's cool.
@billie_crusoe Don't rush yrself! I'm taking like two grad courses right now and it's destroying all my time. Feels terrible but it also feels good, coming from another school where I was't challenged.
Alsoooo what is... the HFC?
@Danzig! HFC = Hairpin Fashion Club. https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups=#!forum/hairpin-fashion-club (I think that takes you to the appropriate place? It's a private group so you won't see posts unless you join).
Classes are... underwhelming... here. Any challenge I get will be through research, so it's OK. I'll keep my advisor on speed-dial.
@Danzig! you (and anybody else reading this) should totally join, we talk about way more stuff beyond fashion and it is a great support group and v safe space and I highly recommend it to all.
@redheaded&crazie ALSO YOU ALL ARE A HUGE DISTRACTION FROM MY OFFICE HOURS.
So this week at work, my boss got his wife 2 miniature donkeys and they are so goddamn adorable and sweet! They are grazing in the meadow behind me right now and it is so hard to stay here and work. (Our office is on the same 10 ac property as his house, so his whole property is pretty much our office).
Also they were named before I had the opportunity to come up with the best name ever for a donkey, Hoti. I was so pissed when they gave them names (Ruby and Jessie) before I could bestow my pun-y brilliance on them. Whatever. Hopefully they have a boy-baby donkey next year.
@bitzy: Holy crap mini-donks are so cute.
@laurel I know! Productivity is at an all-time low since they arrived.
@bitzy I am jealous that you work with animals hanging out nearby! I would never get anything done because I would just go outside to pet things all day. Good thing the city squirrels that hang around outside my office aren't friendly.
@like a rabid squirrel I think you 100% can because I...have? Haha, someone is gonna piece my life together through these posts. But I was in a similar place with a LDR that just wasn't really meant to be.
Obviously that means coming clean and being honest with people, but as long as you are living a life you feel happy about (really happy, not just excited in your pants happy) then do it. DO IT.
@like a rabid squirrel this is a Non-Problem! "200% my type physically, smart, hilarious, very communicative and attentive"? SIGN ME UP! My last relationship ended 7 months ago and so far all I got was a half-hearted makeup session with a semi-attractive albeit insufferably arrogant beardy guy.
@lasso tabasco makeout, that is. I have the midafternoon Retina Tug and Office Mush Brain...
@lasso tabasco Woof, deleted comment at last minute because I realized my commenter profile is still find-able under my old name. Probably an epic 'Pin faux pas. Dammit I just want to squee about my personal life to internet strangers because I don't know many people in my new town yet! But yes, it is a non-problem. I think I just needed someone to tell me that because oh boy do I love to invent non-problems for myself.
@like a rabid squirrel No worries, I know all about creating non-problems! You just moved and already met this awesome human?! That is awesome! And yes, internet strangers are the best, especially on the 'Pin!
I just realized it's less than two months until my husband's birthday, and then like 3 more weeks until Christmas, and I AM SO BAD AT PRESENTS OH GOD HELP ME. He likes gaming, looking dapper, and making shit (kind of in between "crafts" and "DIY" -- like, he built a felt-lined box to roll dice in and turned an old glass bottle into an oil lamp). Any ideas, Clever People Of The Internet?
Go to Duchess in SE! They have lots of cool, unique men's clothes.
Also, and I really should get some free shoes after endorsing these people so much on this site, FLUEVOGS!
@Elsajeni The new Wii U!
Yeah, I said it. I REGRET NOTHING.
@Reginal T. Squirge FLUEVOOOOGGGGGG. ♥ ♥ ♥
@Elsajeni Oh god, my bf's bday is around Xmas too and coming up with TWO holidays' worth of present ideas at once is always horrible. I always like to browse Uncommon Goods... they definitely have stuff in that vein of tech-y, diy-y.
@supernintendochalmers OH MY GOD THAT UNCOMMON GOODS. I WANT IT ALL. I WANT TO MAKE MY OWN VERSIONS OF EVERYTHING ON THERE.
Also, my bf had cut down a tree in his yard and saved this massive piece to give to my mom for her birthday along with a wood carving kit.
OH. Craft places usually have classes? Sign up for something as a couple.
Or buy him a ipad? And then a clever skin, like that one that looks like a book?
@Elsajeni I mean, ThinkGeek and Etsy?
@Elsajeni Cordless Dremel kit.
@Elsajeni There is usually a ton of good stuff on fab.com, check it out. I get little gifts for people whenever something interesting pops up, and then hoard them away for holidays and birthdays.
@remargaret Oh wow, all of these are great ideas but this is actual genius. He would fucking love a Dremel.
I started a new job today! It came up out of the blue - I did a day's work at the GP surgery where my mum works, phoning patients to book them in for the flu vaccination clinics that they're running (as everyone there is really busy and it saves them a job) and got asked by the office manager if I would be interested in temping in the reception, as they have a lot of people off at the moment. This means less free time, but more money and opportunities to feel productive, so hurrah!
@Verity Yay! Congratulations!
I just posted this in Ask a Queer Chick, but it seems FOT-appropriate too, so I figured I would cross-post:
Hey everyone! I have a kind of update for anyone who has been following the saga my burgeoning bi-curiosity...
So the friend-of-a-friend that ignited the initial curiosity in my heart/vagina and I are still talking. Unfortunately, she still lives ~1000 miles away. But we are texting like every day. In fact, LW1's story hit home a bit too much for me, because that is TOTALLY the kind of thing we have going right now. Things have definitely cooled a bit though since our very lustful beginnings. We're don't have a ton in common, but we're both fun, nice people who are a bit lonely at the moment. So, it works for now, but it's nothing committed or serious.
But we are both going to be in the same city at the end of this month, visiting our respective friends (and our one mutual friend) for the first time since we met two months ago. We have made vague plans of consummation, but honestly I am a bit worried about logistics...
She'll be staying with her parents. I'll be staying with friends, who only have couches in their living rooms to offer, so neither of us has much in the way of a proper surface-for-sexytimes. And, um, it will be my first time with a woman, so I'd rather do it somewhere safe and comfortable. But then, I don't know about the idea of a motel because it's an expensive city and we are both broke students, plus I don't know...I feel like it puts on a lot of pressure?
Which brings me to my second concern: PRESSURE. I am by no means going to pull an LW1 on her and act all weird and aloof (and hopefully she won't to me either). But at the same time, I know that we will likely only have time to be alone together for a few hours on this whole trip, since we'll be busy visiting our respective friends and family. So I am afraid that I will get a little freaked out because its like: Okay! We're finally alone! Time to lose your girl virginity--right now!
Plus, I am still kind of figuring out just how bi-curious I am, and I am honestly not sure how into it I will be in the moment, especially if I am freaked out by pressure or we are doing it on a park bench or whatever. I know I want to do it because, if nothing else, I feel like it's something I need to try, and I like her and all. But I also don't want to force it on myself just because it's my one shot in the foreseeable future.
So, yes. Feeling both scared and excited. Sounds about right for losing virginity, I suppose.
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak GOOD LORD YOU ARE OVERTHINKING THIS
IF, let's say, you are in the midst of an awesome makeout and suddenly you don't want to make out anymore.. then STOP making out. She's awesome, right? She's be okay with that, and you can just shift gears.
STOP OVERTHINKING IT AND TELL US WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak - You could always do it in the backseat of a car. I hear that is a popular way to do it teenage-style.
Always the voice of reason. :)
Okay, switching gears to overthinking what I am going to wear! ...I need to go shopping.
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak Ok deep breaths! Like JadedStone said, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. But also, remember that it's ok to take losing your "girl virginity" just as seriously as losing your hetero virginity. If you don't have somewhere you feel safe and comfortable to do it, wait until you do.
Thanks! And sorry if "girl virginity" sounded diminutive or heteronormative. Not the best phrasing on my part.
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak GET IT GIRL (if you want to!). This sounds awesome. Ladyfriend and I got together under sort of similar circumstances (we met in undergrad a year before I left for grad school and I had slept with one girl before her, but we didn't start hooking up til after I left). If it were me I would want to take it slow--maybe makeouts and date-like activities. If you both feel like you want more, trust me, you will figure out how to make it happen (says the girl who had awesome but totally unclassy sex on a friend's futon on new year's eve). Good luck! I hope things go well!
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak A skirt! A skirt!
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak No worries, I just meant I didn't take it as seriously as the first time I had sex with a guy, and I wish that I had. Like, if you saw someone saying they were going to have sex with a guy for the first time on a park bench because they didn't have anywhere comfortable to do it,what would you say? Anyway, have you decided on an outfit yet?
No, not yet...I have definitely been meaning to get some new clothes for a while though, so maybe I'll pick out a brand new outfit for the occasion.
@TheclaAndTheSeals' suggestion of a skirt seems appropriate. Anyone else have recommendations?
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak This weird almost rouched but looser top thing is really in, I keep seeing it everywhere. Zooey is on the cover of some magazine with the style Here: http://www.thegossipavenue.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Zooey-Deschanel-Cosmopolitan-USA-Oct-2012-2.jpg
Ooh, that is cute! I will definitely keep an eye out for it when I hit the mall next weekend.
Is anyone watching "Call the Midwife" on PBS? Can we talk?
@TheLetterL 25 half-spanish children?! Ay, dios mio!
@thisisunclear "They don't speak a word of each other's languages?! How do they communica...oh. 25 children. Right."
@TheLetterL OMG I was ranting about that very plot. I really enjoyed the show overall but the whole "child bride marriage as twu lurve" plot had me majorly side eyeing.
@TheLetterL I saw it when it first aired on the beeb. Chummy is awesome, and there is a more squick-y relationship then the 25 kids and counting coming up.
@LacunaKale Excellent! I am looking forward to Chummy.
Not to force-resurrect a thread, but I saw the second episode and Chummy is just as fabulous as I was hoping.
On the other hand, MARY. *sob sob sob*
It's my mom's birthday today, and we have a troubled history, and I didn't get a card in the mail in time, and she's really picky about presents so I've been told in the past not to get anything for her, but one time she got mad and locked herself in the bathroom on Christmas because I didn't get her anything (which is what she told me to do!), and she avoids talking to me on the phone, so I said happy birthday on facebook and it feels shitty and I have been freaking out about this for a month. Hurrrrglkbjl (word vomit)
@Summer Somewhere Maaaan, that is not appropriate mom behavior, I'm sorry you have to put up with that. If she's going to pull that sort of thing, it's not your fault.
@frigwiggin Sorry, she locked herself in the bathroom on a Christmas when I was a child. She hasn't done anything that bad recently, it just made an impression. I feel monumentally uncomfortable around her because I never know what will set her off. She gave me the silent treatment for six months a few years ago for a stupid reason, and never told me she was angry, just waited until I figured it out when she avoided me on Mother's Day that year. Ever since then things have been awkward. I think I was preserving a minimal relationship with her for a while to retain access to my father, but after some therapy I realized that he was enabling her shitty behavior, and I got angry with him, too. Still, she's my mom, and she's sick, and I feel like a Bad Daughter.
@Summer Somewhere Naw, you aren't a bad daughter, she's just also a person who might benefit from some therapy? She doesn't want to ask for anything for Christmas but she DOES think that you obeying that command is the same as saying you don't love her? That is a lot of levels of screwed up for her to deal with, not you. It's almost never the child's fault, and you sound really patient and like you're trying your best. All the best to you!
@Summer Somewhere You are definitely not a bad daughter, and you are trying your best. I want to suggest maybe reading through the Parents tag at Captain Awkward since she has a lot of good advice for people dealing with difficult parents, and the commentariat over there is also really great. But: you are doing your best. She's a grown-ass adult. I hope you feel better about this soon.
@Summer Somewhere I have similar problems with my mom. Someone here, I think, recommended a book called "Stop walking on eggshells," about dealing with people who have Borderline Personality Disorder, which is pretty much what it looks like my mom has, though it may not be your mom's problem. I can't tell because I don't know her, but her behavior does sound reminiscent of things my mom has done all my life. I went through all the stages, you know: hate hate hate, indifference during my teens, outrage, compassion, pity, emotional terror... You name it. I ended up cutting her off, which many people think is sad, but let me tell you, the last five years have been the best years of my life. All my relationships got better, too, because I wasn't projecting her weirdness onto people around me, which one can't help but do, sometimes. Having her in my life made me so paranoid and fearful, it was debilitating. People with BPD can't control themselves. It's almost not personal, but yet it is, because that's how they operate. Hard to explain. But it's not your fault, there's almost nothing you can do. Well, that's if it's BPD. Maybe there's hope for your mom, but I'd say it would lie in counseling. They ought to do mother-daughter counseling the way they do marriage counseling, I sometimes think. Anyway, reading that book won't do you any harm, and it may open your eyes to people around you whose behavior mystifies you. It was a revelation to me.
@Ashley Lange@facebook & @anachronistique & @carolita - I agree that my mom could definitely use some counseling but I don't think she'll ever go. And that's sad. I did do a family therapy thing once as an adolescent but that was a bad experience. I really appreciate getting reality-check feedback from people outside my head, though, and thank you for that - I'll have to look at some of those reading recommendations as well.
@Summer Somewhere sadly, if it's BPD, it's rare for counseling to help. For example, my mom has seen various shrinks, and pronounced all of them quacks. She even thought I'd found out who one of them was, and that I'd "told him stories" about her. It's a terrible disorder to have, because people who have it often think everyone ELSE has it. Anyway, I'd read that book, because it may help you at least absolve yourself of some guilt or self-blame. I hope your case isn't as hard as mine. I learned to find my "mother" in other people, somehow. This is a huge world, there are many people out there with the little bits and pieces that will come together to give you what you need through friendship and exchange of thoughts and emotions and experiences, I always say. Not everyone gets it all from one's original "mom." Hugs to you.
@carolita This is good advice. My mom had BPD too, and I had to eventually cut her off. In those six years of no contact, I had the room to stretch and grow and get closer to who I wanted to be without worrying about the limitations she put on me.
And as Carolita points out, counseling rarely helps - my mom used to say I was the one with BPD, not her. So finally I had to stop worrying about her and worry about making myself strong enough to deal with her. That shift in perspective helped assuage any guilt I felt. I know that I would not be the healthy-ish individual I am now without protecting myself from her (and getting some therapy for myself). And now, on mother's day, I make it a point to reach out to my other mothers, those wonderful ladies who have mothered me when i needed it.
Best of luck, love and light being sent your way.
@Kulojam I'm grateful to hear someone else who had the same experience, and had to go to the same lengths. I get a lot of puzzled reactions. Lots of people say "my mom is crazy," but they don't know what a BPD mom is. Thank you for speaking up. I'm glad you did.
We're moving to the UK (from the US) in two weeks, and we're trying to get the house ready to rent out (property manager is coming over in an hour to take photos) but also it's a mess because we're trying to get rid of everything, and my MIL is here making a mess and being loud (I hate noise) and she has her stupid yappy dog here with here... bleh.
But I'm going to see Pitch Perfect tonight!
@fruiting body I really enjoyed Pitch Perfect!! Hope you like it!
I am really excited to be going to Boston to meet up with college friends (including my best NYC girlfriend who upped and moved to Maine last month!) this weekend. I've only been there once before (despite being from NJ) and it was in January and SO COLD.
Any must sees or must eats from the hairpin commentariat? I feel like this is the most reliable group possible to crowd source....
Also, has anyone ever been to this place called the Mapparium? Is it as awesome as I'm imagining it, or am I getting carried away with my imaginings?
@scrumselina OMG the Mapparium! Depends on how far your imagination is going, but it's definitely cool and kind of freaky and worth a visit. Have a wander around the Christian Science museum while you're there too. I had a really bad headache the day I visited, so I took an Advil outside the building and I swear I could feel the ghost of Mary Baker Eddy disapproving.
@scrumselina Check out Cambridge for good places to eat. You can take the T in on the Red Line to reach Harvard Sq. Chang Sho has great Chinese food, and it's halfway from Harvard to Porter. Cafe Crema in Brattle Sq (Idk why they don't just include it in Harvard, it's basically the same) is great for a quick bite.
Oh! And a great North African place... darnit I just forgot its name. Oh! Baraka cafe near Central. Best couscous ever. Also has vegetarian options (and they're delicious).
MFA might still have Renoirs three 'Dances' (Bougival, Country, City) as one of their exhibits- DEFINITELY worth going to, if that's your shtick.
I have not heard of the Mapparium... is that in Boston/a must see?
We got three cords of wood delivered yesterday! My weekend will be spent stacking this wood in anticipation of being warm this winter.
@Changeling Woo! Do you heat only with wood? That is the only thing I don't miss about living in VT. I like the wood stove, but not at 5 am when no one woke up to pee / feed the stove all night.
@billie_crusoe Luckily we have propane for those mornings :)
@Changeling Yesssssssss. Right there with you.
They made a Broadway musical adaptation of The Goodbye Girl in 1992 with Bernadette Peters and Martin Short HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS
Sup Pinners, I need fashion/ethical advice. I want to get some warm/waterproof boots for winter, but am vegetarian so would like to avoid leather etc. Is there any hope for nice, and reasonably hardwearing, vegetarian boots? I live in the UK and would like to buy in person to check they are comfy.
The other option would be to get some £12 fake leather boots from ASDA, but this raises a whole other set of ethical issues...urgh responsible consumption is hard.
@katiethegreat Are you thinking strictly winter boots (like snow boots, etc. that are just meant for the outdoors)? Or cute, fashionable boots that happen to be waterproof? Or a mix of both?
I don't wear leather, either, for the same reason as you, and I have decent answers to the first two, but not so much the third. For waterproof, outdoor boots, I use thick, warm boot liners in rubber boots. For fashion-y boots, I always shop at DSW (do they have those in the UK? They have int'l shipping...) because they have a ton of sturdy, faux leather boots. I just bought a tall pair of black faux-leather riding boots that have this spandex-y material up the back, so they are definitely washable (these: http://www.dsw.com/shoe/kelly+.and.+katie+turner+riding+boot?prodId=226614&productRef=SEARCH).
As for a mix of winter-y and cute, I got a pair of faux-suede, faux-sheepskin-lined boots at Payless a couple years ago, but I think finding them was dumb luck.
Anyways, none of this is probably helpful to you since I am in the US, but good luck searching! I swear it's not as hard as it seems. Finding non-leather dressy shoes is waaaaaay harder.
I'm not sure if neoprene is vegetarian for sure tho? And they are pricy (but I have shoes by this brand and they are worth the price!)
@katiethegreat Bogs are super warm neoprene boots that seem quite popular here (Canada). They only seem to be sold online, though. In general, neoprene is pretty warm. Also, Sorel makes some some all-cavas boots, and I love my Sorels
@katiethegreat Not a UK website, but an example of a cute canvas Sorel: http://www.gravitypope.com/shoes/product/17487-sorel-nl1779-601-tofino
@MilesofMountains I don't know if they sell Bogs in the UK, but I almost bought a pair last year and I saw they got a ton of good reviews. You can buy them in stores in the U.S., and they get diiirt cheap once winter shoes start going on sale.
@katiethegreat SOREL SOREL SOREL
@katiethegreat Neoprene wellies are everywhere in the UK. Try Robinson's equine supplies online.
Also, I am two days off being 23, and just realised that my mum was exactly my age when she got married. In contrast I am unemployed, single, living with my parents, and have only just watched the film Labyrinth. (Not that I want to get married, and I know that 23 is still really young, but still. It is a weird comparison.)
I just turned 24 a couple weeks back, and my dad texted me with a Happy Birthday, and told me he was the same age when I was born! It was weird to think about.
@Changeling My grandmother got married exactly a week before her twentieth birthday (and we were born almost exactly 60 years apart, so it's like we have the same birthday). In the weeks leading up to my twentieth birthday, I told all my guy friends to hurry up and put a ring on it, since I was nearing my marriage deadline. No takers, even though I would have rented a chocolate fountain for the wedding.
But we are not our parents or our grandparents, and I shudder to wonder who I'd be married to if I got married right before I turned twenty. Or at 24, which is when my mom got married.
@katiethegreat My parents had me at my age; I am a grad student AGAIN and live with my aunt and uncle, and have only had one partner ever.
However, I refuse to count watching the Labyrinth against you. Or me.
@katiethegreat When I was on vacation with my parents last year my mother pointed out that she had been 23 when she met my dad, and my dad went "What, really?????" because he had never connected my age to my mom's age when they met.
Which is weird because I'm with the guy I'm going to marry, so...maybe 23 is the magic number? (Though I am no longer 23.)
@katiethegreat Ugh, I feel you. I'm less than a year away from the age my mom married my dad (25) and like you I'm living at home (hopefully not for TOO much longer now that I'm in a full time job) and nothing going on romantically. SIGH.
But on the other hand my grandmother got married at 18 (!!) right out of high school and gave birth to her first child a year later, so yeah. Being different from parents and grandparents is probably an okay thing!
Grandmother: "Man. By the time I was your age, I had two small children already!"
Me: "Pssh. That's not MY fault!"
Grandmother: "So true."
@katiethegreat My gentleman caller's mom had finished having ALL EIGHT KIDS by the age of 26.
She's still a raging badass!
GUYS GUYS GUYS I put in a volunteer application with Planned Parenthood and they've emailed me to come to an orientation this week! Surely, other 'pinners have volunteered at PP and have stories to share.
ALSO I'm going to not 1, but 2 concerts this week with my best ever dude bff who is coming to visit! The Shins and Andrew Bird, wooooo!
I AM JUST A BALL OF EXCITEMENT OVER HERE!
Good: The germy monsters that got me sick are sooo sweet. My voice is nearly nothing and I whispered most of the day. 18 six year old children were so sweet and quiet. I heard one whisper to their talking neighbor "Shh! Don't talk so Mrs. S*** doesn't have to use her loud voice". Another offered me their ice-pop and our ice-pop party and said "You can have mine Mrs. S*** it will feel good on your voice."
Made me feel warm and fuzzy.
The Bad: I am freaking sick over the BEST game weekend all freaking season. Completely well for some boring games and a bye week, deathly ill for the opener and an actual kick ass SEC home game. I want to booze with crazy fans from Louisiana and wear a ridiculous orange dress. God damn germy little monsters interfering with my weekend of awesomeness.
Does anyone watch the "Breaking Amish" show? It seems a lot more honest than other "reality" shows. I'm sure some of it's juiced up, like the dentist who took pity on the poor girl and gave her $3000 worth of dental work for free.
@Barry Grant I stopped after a couple articles about how the production company faked a lot of it (the bishop's daughter's tan canNOT be natural) and how the kids had all been out of the community for a while, not the first time. Which is kind of comforting, since it was a little squirm-inducing watching the camera crew basically "out" the kids.
@Barry Grant Super fake, and one of the guys on it was apparently really abusive to his ex-wife http://jezebel.com/5949245/arrests-divorces-and-secret-children-breaking-amish-is-nothing-but-lies
TV lied to me! Again!
There is some good tv coming up this weekend. New Upstairs Downstairs! Lifetime's Steel Magnolias! All the commercials for the latter during Project Runway have me so excited.
@lobsterhug I caaaaaame to wiiiin...
@lobsterhug I am so excited for Steel Magnolias. Like, ridiculously excited. And I may have plans to electronically attend a friend's viewing party via instant messaging.
What songs have you sung to your pet lately? My cat is sitting in a reusable shopping bag right now and I couldn't resist belting out, "Dananananananana CAT-BAG! Cat-bag! Cat-baaaaag!" Also (to the tune of Antsy Pants' "I Am A Vampire" from the Juno soundtrack) "I am a Flat Tire / I am a Flat Tire / I am a Flat Tire / I have lost my leg." (It may help to know that she is a three-legged cat named Flat Tire.)
@frigwiggin I sing all cats What's New Pussy Cat? by Tom Jones. I also used to sing my cat You Are My Kitty to the tune of You Are My Sunshine but it was so sad because then my roommate DID take my kitty away. I feel like I've told this story on here before, but I feel its tragedy bears repeating.
@frigwiggin I sing Coco the Flash theme song, replacing cat-appropriate lyrics where I can.
@frigwiggin Lately? Not much other than a singsongy "OMG [cat's name] you're so cute and I want to pet you all the time, come get a job at my office so you can be the office cat"
You know, the usual.
@frigwiggin The classic around here is "Meowsers Has No Trousers" and that's the only lyric.
@frigwiggin "Lady Stardust" but with "Stardust" replaced with "Pusscat", my v. regal tabby
@frigwiggin Other times it's just whatever song I'm listening to with all the lyrics swapped for "You're a kitty cat", "kitty kitty cat" "love my cat, my kitty cat", whatever works you know. I think they get the message
@Cat named Virtute Aw. :( That is a tragedy indeed.
I almost forgot about a Flight of the Conchords parody that my boyfriend and I both enjoy seranading her with: "Inner. Inner kitty. Inner. Kitty. Pressure. [Inner kitty pressuuuuure!]"
@frigwiggin We are dogsitting for an elderly dog and there is just an endless stream of inane tunes streaming from my mouth. Absurd. Most recently, I edited a version of "Pay in Blood," my favorite track from the newest Dylan album.
AGAIN, ABSURD. But I can't stopppppppp. She's so cute and wags/limps around the house with me as I jam.
@frigwiggin I like to sing "My Way" in aroos, to my dog. At nap time, I sing "Let's Take A Nap together, now I need one more than ever!" to "Let's spend the night together." (I suspect I'll be singing that to some old geezer in a nursing home someday when I'm old, too.) Also, when it's time to walk, I like to sing "We will, we will, WALK YOU! WALK YOU!" He thinks I'm completely nuts.
Hello, is there anyone in the San Francisco/Bay Area who'd like to improve birth control and get a free generic Mirena IUD? Let me know! I am not involved, but I am helping spread the word for a friend's study. You can reach me at Azulocean at hot mail and I will provide you with their contact information.
@upupandaway They are on craigslist too: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/ofc/3265558063.html
Does anyone have any advice for renting places that ask for references when you don't have any?
Backstory: my landlady is a difficult lady. She also lives right above me. I should have been warned when I moved in and the phone company workers wouldn't come unless I could promise them she wouldn't be there. Things were fine for the first year, but in the last few months she's been ridiculous, e.g. claiming I am playing loud music when I have none playing at all, claiming I scratched her car when I didn't and she has no evidence besides the fact that her car is scratched etc. Yesterday she came in with the carpet cleaners and today I arrived home to a note that she went through my cupboards and noticed some spills, plus there was dust on top of my fridge and cabinets, plus there were some fruit flies. Apparently for her, that is grounds for eviction. If I "shape up" by next week I can stay, but obviously I don't want to.
So, my problem: I can't use her as a reference, and previous to this place I owned my own condo for 4 years so I have no references from the past 6 years. How do I approach this with a new landlord? Would former roommates count?
@MilesofMountains When I rented my last place, I think I used non-landlords as references (plus one landlord I think). So maybe roommates? Or supervisors or someone who can say you're a responsible person? I would think "I owned my own condo for 4 years" would be an acceptable excuse for not having references.
Also, sorry your landlady's a jerk!
@MilesofMountains I've mostly sublet places for the past few years, and the times I did have to fill out a rental app with landlord references it wasn't a problem to leave them blank. Besides, who really has a relationship with their landlord? (Besides problem tenants or, in your case, problem landlords)
@MilesofMountains The last rental application I filled out asked for personal references, not rental references, so I just used my friends.
For anyone who is grumpy in the aftermath of the US Presidential debate this week, a gift for you, via Mike Mitchell's tumblr:
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Littleface Mitt is what keeps me going in these dark days.
I've been having a bit of a depressive episode lately. Which sucks. But I saw Pitch Perfect this evening which cheered me up, and I'm getting my computer cleaned up for the gods&kings civ expansion.
@LacunaKale IT'S AWESOME. I am spending the evening playing as the Maya and kicking ass. Also seconded on the depressive episode, but winning a war can help a little?
@Amphora One more city and I will have defeated Arabia (as Theodora, which seems somehow right)
Calling all large breasted ladies: Sport bra recs? I've been working out in old underwire bras, but I think that's doing it wrong. My back hurts without a lot of boob support, though, and I work out often so I don't want to drop tons of money or wash one sports bra daily.
@TheclaAndTheSeals Don't mean to comment stalk, but the comments on this article have lots of recommendations: http://thehairpin.com/2012/09/other-bosom-committee-iso-rhyming-nickname
In a pinch, I use two normal ones, with a tank top that has a strong built-in bra in it. They look silly bundled up, but I'll be damned if they're not relatively immobile.
@TheclaAndTheSeals I have a couple of decent ones from Champion -- beware, they will send you catalogs if you order from them, so maybe fire off an email to customer service to prevent that if you don't want the junk mail.
@TheclaAndTheSeals Panache! Panache! Panache! (Also Freya, but the shape is super pointy and weird while Panache's is round and normal.) (FWIW I believe I go down a cup size in the Panache one.)
@sunshinefiasco I appreciate the comment stalking!
@TheclaAndTheSeals I once got an underwire sports bra from Gap Body. My tits have never been so secure. Not sure if they still sell that particular one, though.
@TheclaAndTheSeals I like the pointy underwired Freya one! It may be a bit retro-looking, but it's strong like a ROCK. Nothing moves! It even posed a challenge in my belly dance class when stuff was SUPPOSED to move and wouldn't.
Does anyone remember what the conclusions were about finding a sports bra that doesn't chafe the under-boob? Over 5 miles or so, I get a nasty raw stripe where the bottom of my bra hits my chest. I know someone had recommendations, but I don't remember what they were. I don't care if my boobs aren't that secure (I ran 7.5... naked... at Bay to Breakers...).
@billie_crusoe I just use body glide under the bust, which seems to help a lot.
And naked is really the only way to run, if not for those usually pesky exposure laws. (Really... really naked? Even in Bay to Breakers, that seems really BAMFY to me.)
@PistolPackinMama Ooh, I'll try that.
I feel equal parts horrified and BAMFy that I did that. I wore spanx underwear to stop the thigh chafing, so not entirely naked. And I put clothes on before the finish line because I had heard that the police wouldn't bother you on the course, but they might outside of it.
@TheclaAndTheSeals The Enell is the best "you shall not move!" sports bra, but unfortunately it has some downsides in terms of comfort. It does not wick sweat at all. I wouldn't recommend it for long runs, but if you're doing a lot of jumping it's great.
Moving Comfort has a lot of great styles and options for busty women. I like their "Maia" bra myself--its so comfortable that I wear it to bed a lot.
@TheclaAndTheSeals I usually layer a sports bra under a sports tank (with the built-in shelf bra) because most compression-style sports bras squish my chest too much to breathe well.
helloooo everyone! it's been more than a month since my breakup, and i am now back on okcupid because i don't know how else to date! i have a date next wednesday with an apparently very attractive, intelligent, and interesting guy...who i'm afraid is going to turn out to be none of those things. SHARE OKC SUCCESS STORIES PLEEEEEEASE
@fuck fuck fuck This one time, I went out with a fantastic guy and then I moved away two weeks later. I also sold him my couch. Now we facebook a lot. Maybe this counts as a success story, idk.
@fuck fuck fuck I met Mr. Amphora on OKCupid six years ago! My friend met HER husband on it four years ago! If you don't work as a couple you can still end up being good friends, like many other people I know! Good luck!!!
@fuck fuck fuck Uhhh I've been on 6 OKC dates and none of them havwait shit that's not what you're asking for damn
FWIW, the healthiest and happiest couples I know met on OKC (or the pre-OKC internet) and are like fuckin' chocolate and peanut butter, just harmonizing on all levels. A few have crossed oceans to be together!
@fuck fuck fuck i am currently having the time of my life with a lady i met on okc. i had to kiss a lot of frogs first (karmic duty?), but i am so, so happy with her.
@fuck fuck fuck I have not met any super long term dudes on okc but it is the best way to date in a city and the craziest dude I ever dated (serious issues) I met irl so, there you go.
@fuck fuck fuck I met a nice but not for me dude on OKC and we went out for two years. I met a very nice person recently who I am having fun getting to know on OKC and that's been fun.
@Danzig, harmonizing like chocolate peanut butter= win.
Hi everyone! What color are your nails? I just did mine in OPI Berlin There Done That which is to say, gray.
@supernintendochalmers Dior Rouge Massaï. A lovely, rich but not bright but also not dark red.
@supernintendochalmers Chanel Peridot!
@supernintendochalmers I've worn OPI's I'm Not Really A Waitress (a deep cranberry red with a little shimmer) almost exclusively for 10+ years, but last manicure, I changed it up! Same INRAW on the whole nail, then on the tips, a deep creamy gray from Birchbox/Color Club called Status Update, with a skinny silver stripe between the colors. I love it!
@supernintendochalmers Currently Rimmel's Trend Spotting, which is a dark purple I never wear because it takes 3+ coats to look halfway decent and who has time for that?
@supernintendochalmers Mine is a Julep Greige colour that I have no idea the name of.
@Megano! Have you had good luck with Julep polish? I bought one and it was suuuuper thick. But I love their colors!
@falafelwaffle I'm wearing a Julep purpley grey that is awesome! I highly recommend them. I don't mind the thickness so much, especially with the cream ones that don't have shimmer since I've always had problems making those not-streaky. I find that you have to wipe the brush on the rim kind of a lot before you use it because the brush is long and so goop just keeps running down it (for longer than usual). All this to say--worth it! I'm a subscriber to their monthly Maven program even (disclaimer: that's my referral link :) )
@mangosara I've had fantastic luck with Dior nail polish in terms of not streaking. The nail polishes are super pigmented, I guess? They go on so smooth and have a wider brush which actually leads to less mess for me. And my manicures last a lot longer than with Essie or OPI polishes. Totally worth the $24. Can you tell I spend all my money at Sephora??
@supernintendochalmers Hello Darling's "In The Navy". Who'da thunk it was navy?
I think I'm going to be Joan Holloway for Halloween. Recognizable, no. Damn sexy, hell yes.
@Shayna I've done this! It was awesome. I didn't even go anywhere, lol.
@Shayna I was Dead Joan for a party a couple years ago. Borrowed a bra from a friend with H-cups and stuffed the living shit out of them (literally six pairs of socks plus my own bra to go from a D to an H), dyed my hair red, hung a gold pen on a gold chain around my neck, cat eyes, white face paint, mascara running down my cheeks, bottle of pills in the cleavage. EVERYONE knew EXACTLY who I was.
@par_parenthese SHE DIES?!?!?!
I hadn't gotten that far.
@Shayna (Not yet!)
@Shayna I did that! No stuffing required (thanks for the genes, family!), just a red wig and a gold pen necklace and tight, 60s-ish dress I already owned. Only people thought I was a "slutty secretary" and was like "Excuse you, I'm the office manager, and I can make you share an office with the Xerox machine if I want."
It was a fun costume, though. And the necklace was nice enough I still wear it on non-Halloween days.
@Shayna NO!! Oh my goodness, I'm sorry you thought that was a spoiler!! It was a "dead person" party. You could be any character, just had to imagine how that character would have died and be that. Joan is definitely not dead.
Ugh, guys, I really want to get the mildew out of the seal on my shower doors (both doors and mildew came with the apartment) and I'm having NO LUCK. I'm probably developing bacterial pneumonia every time I take a shower, and cancer from all the chemicals I'm exposed to trying to get rid of it. Any tips?
@Lucienne You probably need to take it apart, remove all the caulking, clean it thoroughly, reassemble, and re-caulk it. I hate those darn things so much, I removed them from my tub. So much better!
@Lucienne Do you live in an apartment? Send your land lord a very specific maintenance request by email. If you own your place, then you'll have to get in touch with someone yourself.
But professionals! They have respirators and other tools.
@Lucienne mold is unfortch a common problem in rentals. I would use real threats if your landlord does not respond - like, call the city on him. But, if that is not your style, just re-caulk it yourself. I read something on the pin or the awl that explained how.
@everyone Oh, I mean the seal on the door. The caulk is fine - actually, it's pretty new because they recaulked it just after I moved in. But the adhesive that keeps the glass in the door is mildewed (I assume it is mildew? parts of it are black) and I'm not having any luck fixing it. But maybe I will just have to ask my landlord for a new door.
Guys, I think I might have found OxiClean (or a close enough replacement) in France! I can buy white shirts! ...Once I get an apartment.
Undeclared is on Netflix instant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There goes the weekend. :)
I just watched A Streetcar Named Desire for the first time and it was so good! But so sad! And now I really want to watch the Simpsons episode with the 'Streetcar' musical but Youtube is not forthcoming.
y'all, i am SO happy right now. i love this city where i have been on extended vacation, and i love the lady friend who is making me so happy. i am going to be a little crushed when i have to leave in 10 days. i am trying not to think of that right now, obviously, and just live in the moment. dating people who treat you well--who knew?
@social theory Word to that last statement. Revelatory, isn't it?
@PistolPackinMama yes, especially because i know this isn't True Love--but it's still fun and respectful. next mission: getting something similar going on back home.
A part of me, watching the latest episode, thought: huh. I would really love to do this whole season in RPG makerVX. (cause I'm a big ol' nerd)
FACE CARE CROWD-SOURCING TIME: anybody use one of those Clairsonic spinny face brush things? is it worth the money? I'm starting to feel like the elephant-butt texture of my face skin needs improving.
@mangosara I bought mine on an irresponsible spending whim and I LOVE IT. My face gets sooooo clean and smooth and I think my lotion sinks in better. I did find the brush head it came with a little rough, so I got the one for more sensitive skin. But yeah, if you can swing it money-wise, definitely get one.
@falafelwaffle dangerous words! having just started my first well-paying full-time job I'm feeling like I have infinite disposable income.
@mangosara I want to know this, too! I played with one in Sephora and it seemed really nice--a lot gentler than I expected.
Ooh, and anyone who has one, do you know if they're at all helpful with skin issues from hard water? I just moved somewhere with really horrible water and my skin is rebelling (alternating dry and greasy, breaking out, super-sensitive, ugh).
@falafelwaffle Also! Do you find it helps with gunk in pores? I squeeze all kinds of junk out of my face which I'm sure is TERRIBLE to do but would like to get rid of it.
@mangosara I don't really have that problem so I can't vouch for it, but I'm pretty sure they have a "deep pore" brush head so the clairisonic would probably help.
Oh please let someone read down this far. CROWD-SOURCING QUESTION ABOUT ORAL SEX: am I the only one who likes tongue IN my vagina? Like, as opposed to on my clit? (well in addition to it, really)
@Porn Peddler No, you are not. I <3 the tongue fucking.
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily) high. five.
@Porn Peddler I heard references in comedy scenarios this week to dudes with long tongues twice. In a "he could reach the bottom of a Pringles can with his tongue and that's why she married him" way.
Also what brings this up?
@Porn Peddler Nope, you're not.
@PistolPackinMama Research for my writing ;)
@Porn Peddler I prefer the second one, but a mix of moves is always crucial.
Went to my very first baby shower yesterday. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be! It was actually quite nice. I think I just have nice friends! Friends who aren't like the crazy people in baby showers I see in movies and tv shows, or in Rachel Dratch's book, I mean. Phew! What a relief. I actually offered to babysit someday.
@carolita It def. is a case of nice friends= nice shower. At the last shower I hosted, we bought onsies and fabric markers. The nice people who came sat around with drinks and made designs for them colored onsies for the kid. We did zero planning aside from Nice Cake, but it was fun and companionable because the parents know nice people.
@PistolPackinMama Speaking of cake, I do have one suggestion to baby shower people. As I've been gluten-free since last xmas, it was a bit of a trial to arrive and find there was nothing but cake, sandwiches and other wheat-based items. So, I ate some sandwiches out of desperation, and felt gross for the rest of the day, though I hid it till I got home. (Luckily I'm not a celiac patient, just a person with a low tolerance of gluten, perhaps a slight allergy). It would've been nice if there'd been, I don't know, maybe a bowl of fruit, or some kale chips, which aren't hard to find? (We're in NYC.) Some carrot sticks? Just some little extra thing just in case there was one person who doesn't eat bread or cake. This gluten-free thing is not as rare as it used to be. It would've been nice. Anyway, I got over it by the next day! And it was worth it.
@carolita Word. We knew no-one had food restrictions. But I think that's important to do for all occasions. I usually make a point to ask about that when planning, so people can feel free to let me know.
The wedding was OK. The two of them seemed the most relaxed I've seen them in months, so that was cool, and after the dry reception all of us went out to the bar.
I have yet to order work boots but I've figured out where I want to get them from, and I'm going to be calling on Monday to get a quote as to how much doing a custom fit will run me.
Sigh. BOY TROUBLE.
I caught up with an old acquaintance recently, and judging by his (several) Facebook messages after the fact, I think I walked away thinking "quality bro time achieved," and he walked away thinking "she's super into me!"
My default assumption is that guys see me as their funny girl-bro, not as a potential date. (Note: objective evidence strongly supports this theory.) But a couple times in the past few months, I've had dudes indicate they thought I was sending out some kind of signal. I think my overall vibe (with everyone) is very arm-touchy, slightly-dirty-joke-telling...I'm a little too boundary-less, even for my own comfort, sometimes.
SO: this dude is great, but I'm not into him. How can I (a) communicate this, and (b) get my shit together so that I'm moving beyond the friendzone when I want to, but staying put when I don't?
@Regina Phalange Just tell him. You can't beat around the bush in these situations. Just politely explain that you see him as nothing but a friend and you hope you can keep hanging out. As far as moving past the friendzone, I don't know as I'm the same way you are. Maybe dial back the flirting with your guy friends and save it for the dudes you really are into? That's what I've been trying to do. Still joke around, but take the flirting out of it. If that makes any sense.
@Regina Phalange This happens to me sometimes :( I guess my version of friendly comes across as flirty sometimes. I've just gotten more reserved and less touchy in general over the last few years, so it happens less. And when it did happen, I would just ignore it, which didn't work that well.
@Regina Phalange Don't do anything, just don't get in touch. Saying you're not into him is going to hurt his feelings, bringing up the subject when it might have just faded away. Just leave it alone, and if he asks you out, just decline politely. This isn't an international incident. ;) But in the future, yeah, probably best not to be too touchy-feely with guys you're not into. A little restraint applied in certain circumstances isn't going to change your entire personality, and it will serve you well. If you're a warm person, doesn't mean you can't be a little judicious with your affection. Anyway, if this has already happened more frequently than you'd like, I'm sure you get it.
@carolita Yeah, I think I'm less concerned about the situation with this particular dude, and more about the fact that I'm so tired of having no self-restraint/internal check mechanism. I have the most insanely addictive personality - I've been sober for a while, but I think I just use other people's attention as a high now. (The irony of writing that in a deeply personal Internet comment is not lost on me.)
@Regina Phalange I hear you. Don't lose hope in yourself. I used to be that way, too. It takes time to recognize things in yourself that you don't actually need, you know? And then it takes a while to replace those things (detrimental habits, learned tics, old tired tricks) with something else. I can still get a little manic with friends I haven't seen in a while, almost as if I've been in solitary confinement for years or something. Luckily, I've got better friends than I used to. I used to have friends who fed on my insecurities, and they didn't exactly help me "grow," if you know what I mean. I felt guilty dumping them at first, but I can see they're actually perfectly okay without me, surprise, surprise. Anyway, it's all part of your long and winding road; be patient with yourself, while being observant and guiding yourself wisely. I can tell you're gonna be okay. You're self-aware, and you've already come a ways. Avanti! :)
I'm aware I'm late to the party, but FINALLY, I am proud to say I've joined your ranks, oh Pinniest of Pinners! :D
That is all. Enjoy your Sundays.
@tea sonata hello!
On the plus side: Got a fairly lucrative new job with an awesome ex-boss, took my dog to Blessing of the Animals at church this morning and she was great, went to dinner at friends' house last night, have a nice home and an amazing family. Oh, and the Pats and Celtics both won today.
On the minus side: Edith and Jane rejected my latest submission, and a friend sent me an annoying text.
The plus outweighs the minus by SO MUCH, and yet I'm dejected. You guyyyyyyyssssss whyyyyyyyy am I such a loser?
@Bittersweet You aren't a loser. Not in the least. Ask your ex-now-boss.
Also... blessing of the pets? Say more.
@PistolPackinMama There's an interfaith Blessing of Pets in my parents' town! (The UUs, the Catholics, the Episcopalians, the Jewish and Islamic congregations all get together and offer a general pet blessing for people who want to haul their dogs/cats/fish/ducklings/gerbils over). It's a lovely gesture!
@Bittersweet YAY JOBS! Also, you are not at all a loser. You are, like, the epitome of cool on the Hairpin. (You got up the courage to send a submission to the editors! That's a big thang! I'm always scared of that).
@PistolPackinMama and PatatasBravas: Thanks, ladies! I was just feeling sorry for myself yesterday and indulged in a little whining. Done now, and moving on.
@Pistol: This past weekend is the weekend in the church calendar when we honor St. Francis, and that's turned into bringing your pets to church for a blessing. We had our (Episcopalian) service outside, accompanied by numerous dogs and cats, even a few fish and guinea pigs. It is a lovely gesture. My dog even behaved herself. Mostly.
@PatatasBravas: "the epitome of cool on the Hairpin"? I'm gonna live off that compliment for a few months now. Thanks!
@Bittersweet I've done the candles on the throat to ward of colds blessing. And the blessing of the easter bread and eggs (Polish priest much?). But never a St. Francis pet blessing. LOVE.
Gooooooood morning, Hairpin! Officially commence Monday Open Thread.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I'd be all over this... if I didn't have to work. Sheesh.
(No, but really, I am happy to skip this particular public holiday.)
@PistolPackinMama I normally wouldn't be off work today--all my coworkers have been at work for two hours already--but I'm taking today off because I leave for a ten-day business trip tomorrow. So. Columbus day has the weirdest is-it-open/is-it-closed rules ever.
@PistolPackinMama What holiday is this? We usually have a fairly liberal holiday policy at work, but I'm scratching my head here.
@hotdog Happy Columbus Day! (Eh...)
@hotdog Columbus Day
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Hi! I'm at work tooooo. Bummer.
My heart dropped when I realized there won't be any new posts today!But, if the Open Thread is still going strong, I need some 'Pinner advice! My boyfriend is getting his wisdom teeth removed later today (the second round of surgery)and I'm trying to come up with a bigger variety of soft foods for him to eat for the first few days. Last time he ended up eating a metric ton of sugary stuff like yogurt, ice cream, and pudding. Not great! I've got mashed potatoes and scrambled eggs at the ready...what else would be fairly nutritious? Any ideas or advice would be lovely!
@Is It a Hat? Instant grits, or cream of wheat, but grits are superior.
@Is It a Hat?: I am eating shepherd's pie all day today, so may I suggest: shepherd's pie? You can just brown some ground beef, add some tomato paste, seasonit how you like and throw the mashed potatoes on top!
Also, how about soups? Chicken noodle, butternut squash..
@Is It a Hat? Applesauce all day! But if you want more vegetabley savory stuff, I really like mashed sweet potatoes and mashed squash. Also this recipe is BANGIN once you're ready for chewables that still need to be soft: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2012/01/vegan-lentil-and-coconut-soup-cilantro-habanero-gremolata-recipe.html
@Is It a Hat? When I got my wisdom teeth out, the best thing I ate was small pasta (star pasta is great, also orzo) cooked in chicken broth so it's kind of a hybrid pasta/soup dish. Very soft and quite delicious. Add lots of parmesan.
@all Ah you guys are awesome! This time I will have a happy, well-fed, drugged up boyfriend.
@Is It a Hat? Ive been eating Greek yogurt with pumpkin and pumpkin pie spices and a smidge of brown sugar mixed in several times a week lately. It tastes like pumpkin pie but is much healthier. It's also super filling.
Usually I put granola on top but it would be yummy without if your bf likes pumpkin.
@KatnotCat Damn, that sounds amazing. I'm making that for me!
@Is It a Hat? I made a pumpkin quinoa yesterday that was delicious - you could leave the nuts/dried fruit out. http://www.makeandtakes.com/pumpkin-quinoa-breakfast
@Is It a Hat? It is so damn good it helps get me out of bed in the morning. It is my favorite pumpkin food, and I'm currently on a mostly pumpkin-based diet. I edited to include brown sugar with otherwise it tastes a little weird.
The granola I put on top is also pumpkin spice flavored and it's just out of this world (no, it's not too much pumpkin, quit judging me, world).
@frenz.lo Ive been craving grits so much lately. Grits forever!
@KatnotCat I had the best cheese grits of my life over brunch this weekend. Griiiiiiiiits.
@Is It a Hat? Avgolemono is awesome Greek soup that is easy and filling -- basically, you cook some rice or orzo in chicken broth, beat up an egg with lemon juice, beat in some of the hot broth, and mix the whole thing together. It turns into white, creamy, lemony, proteiny goodness.
@Is It a Hat?
Would rissotto work? Its soft and smushy. Omlettes or porridge or soup? Probably not these all together.
@Is It a Hat? Rice porridge! Jook is delicious and good for the ailing, especially (for me, at lest) if you make it with lots of freshly-grated ginger.
@Is It a Hat? Homemade applesauce complements cold weather, and it's easy to make. Also, it smells great throughout the house.
(Boil and mash apples with all spices you like in a pumpkin pie: brown sugar, lemon, orange peel, cloves, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg.)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher And my dinner is selected.
@KatnotCat ah! as a person who tended to a post-wisdom tooth-extraction patient I will say don't do any quinoa or rice unless it's SUPER MUSHY because those things can get stuck in the tooth-holes and there is nothing worse. :(
Oh-ho, everyone! Mondays are my normal day off, so I don't get any additional holiday time, but slacking off on a gloomy Monday is ideal for me. Still, I expect others to be working. I am sad that this is not a business day. I pitched a project that I'm really excited about to the organizer of a big arts festival over the weekend, and he wrote back to say that it could work, but that he'd go over it on Tuesday. So my question is, why isn't it Tuesday? Bullshit, right?
Also, the Billfold posted an essay of mine last week (the bike one,) and I'm still so excited about it, especially because it was initially rejected, but then they had a change of heart.
Getting to work today was frustrating, as the T is running on a holiday schedule (ie, "sucks to be you, bus commuters!"). But I'm here!
And this past weekend, I got to see THE DESERT OF MAINE, which I've been wanting to see for 4.5 years.
I'm glad the Friday Open Thread has become the Monday Open Thread because I don't have Eurocentric BS Day off like some other people around here do, and I use the Hairpin as breaks-and-lunches entertainment regularly. It has become my #1 go-to site!
Hello fellow working 'Pinners! Anyone got cheap meal ideas? I'm sort of broke until Friday, but I would like to eat. The only thing I have is 1/2 a bushel of apples in the fridge and some hard cider.
Also, I'm trying to plan a trip to England for February, so I'm excited this week!
@meetapossum Have you ever heard of Budget Bytes or Broke Ass Gourmet? Both sites are chock full of tasty, cheap recipes.
@Is It a Hat? I have not! But now Broke Ass Gourmet has led me to pumpkin mac & cheese. Thanks!!
@meetapossum You're welcome! Glad you found something!
@meetapossum You have just decided what I am making for dinner tonight, and I haven't even looked at the recipe.
@meetapossum Oatmeal, soup, eggs, rice and beans, spaghetti cacio e pepe, or pasta with canellini beans and garlic. Quiche! Baked potato bar! Easy mac with broccoli! Bean salad. Grilled cheese and tomato soup. I'm broke.
@meetapossum Put kale in everything! It's cheap, and if you saute it with some olive oil/garlic, it makes even pasta more delicious and filling and virtuous. <3 u, kalie!!
@meetapossum a can of black beans and a jar of salsa--simmer together, boom, black bean tacos.
@charmcity Where do you live that kale is cheap? I'm jealous; I love kale and try to use it often, but it's not so cheap around here. I do put spinach in everything for the same reasons, though, as my local co-op has bulk baby spinach.
@SarahP Do you have a Trader Joe's? A pound of frozen kale is like $1.67. My local Jewel has it too but I don't know what the per pound price is.
@ImASadGiraffe What! Off to TJs I go!
@SarahP ...later, since I'm still at work right now. But soon!
@meetapossum Speaking as a girl from the West Country of England, where the cider comes out the body as cloudy as it goes in, I'd consider cider a meal in itself, fret not.
If all else fails - do favours for friends in exchange for dinner. Win win situation!
My husband is killing me. A friend is offering us free, amazing baseball tickets to a game we already have tickets for, and I am willing to give ours away in order to trade up but I can't confirm this decision because he is not picking up the phone or any other communication device! ARGGGGGGGGHHHH
For anyone who is remotely interested: friend generously is sharing baller tickets to the Os/Yankees game tonight, finally squared things away with husband, all is well in RKFireville.
@RK Fire Awesome.
@SarahP: We haven't been to the postseason in 15 years! This'll be the first one I've ever attended in person! It is truly awesome.
Saw Looper over the weekend; it was alright (the women bored me woefully), but I just could. not. get over Joseph Gordon-Levitt's disturbing facial prosthetics.
@frigwiggin I haven't seen JGL in much, so I totally couldn't tell. What did they do? Change the shape of his eyes, I'm guessing?
@wallsdonotfall His eyes (and his eye color), his lips, his nose...it was just different enough to be really uncanny, and my brain kept trying to align it with what I know his face to actually look like, and it was just weird.
@frigwiggin I haven't seen it yet, but those prosthetics freak me out too. Uncanny valley style.
I saw Frankenweenie! It was really cute, and I watched the original version afterwards and I think the new one lives up.
@frigwiggin Oh no! His (non-altered) face is the only reason I would want to see Looper.
@SarahP I-I would still hit it. (Also I really liked Emily Blunt's character, though yes, the movie is a major sausage fest)
It has been super-interesting to me to read the varying reviews: "JGL totally nails Bruce Willis!" vs "JGL's face was messed up!"
Gotta go see it myself, I guess
Also, I'm leaving work in an hour to go have an optometry appointment (I'm finally replacing my broken glasses!) and am coming back to work after it's over...I am a fool for scheduling the appointment for midday. On the other hand, excited for new glasses. I'm half-tempted to get Giant Hipster Frames, but I'll probably end up with rectangular ones identical to my old glasses.
@frigwiggin do the Giant Hipster Frames!
@frigwiggin I really desperately need new glasses, and yet I can't make myself make the appointment! Shit's expensive. Blah.
@charmcity I hear you--it took me 4-5 months to actually cowgirl up and call them for the appointment instead of just flying blind. I'm only going there for the updated prescription, though; I'm gonna order glasses off of Zenni Optical, because I did that last time and it worked out fine for wayyyy cheaper (until I snapped the glasses in half, that is, but that's not Zenni's fault).
@frigwiggin I am a contact lens wearer (who wears those one-week disposible lenses for like 6 months, yeahhh I'll deserve it when I go blind) but I have literally not had a backup pair of glasses since 2001. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. God.
@charmcity I will also be going blind and have misplaced both pairs of backup glasses. I also realized last week that I am wearing the last set of contacts and I cant remember when I put them in. So I rewarded myself by buying contacts online AND ridiculous Giant tortoise shell hipster glasses...
@frigwiggin If I may be so bold as to recommend...? I recently got new glasses, but hated all the damn frames. Just, ugh. So I went to Primark, found some reading glasses for two of your earth pounds, took them to the lovely Eye people and they replaced the lenses with prescription ones. Champion. I now look like a tame Dame Edna, which is a Level-Up in my book.
Is this a thing? Or rather, a thing you can do?
Happy Monday, working stiffs. Anybody cry themselves into a headache over the new Steel Magnolias/Downton Abbey last night? Just me?
@Valley Girl Ahhhhhh, Downton! Edith is breaking my heart. Also Ethel saying good-bye to her son. And Daisy and Alfred being interrupted! And Tom! I don't understand how that show manages to be SO ridiculous and SO tragic at the same time every single week. Also how excited are you about the hot new footman?
Ethel! I had seen spoiler pics of her letting little Charlie go but when she actually walked home without him I crumbled. And I was super excited about the new hot footman for Thomas's sake but the preview made me worried about the romantic prospects there, more's the pity.
@Valley Girl Ugh, right? HIS LITTLE FACE. SO HEARTBREAKING.
Re: Thomas and the new footman. I hope one of them destroys the other. I don't even care which. Just, smoldering footman emotional annihilation.
@Valley Girl SPOILER ALERT OMG WTF.
DC Metro decided to keep its weekend train/repair schedule through the end of the day today, I guess because so many people have Columbus Day off ... sadly, not me, so instead of the balm of a holiday-empty-train, I got crammed onto a crazy full one after waiting 30 minutes. And got to work late. And everyone else took the day off anyway, so it's me and our part-time lady and then I will be aloooone. Wahmppp wahmpppp.
So This One Kid has been super persistent about asking me to "hang out" and I finally agreed to do something on Tuesday, but now I'm sick. Is this Divine Providence trying to keep me away from yet another hipstery guitar playing teacher who treats women like they are disposable? I DONT KNOW
@lasso tabasco As for a guy like that? Visit for five minutes, lick his toothbrush, say you have to leave early to make your date, moonwalk out.
@Bloodrocuted this is the best advice I've gotten all day! moonwalking out= epic! I wonder if that's something that can be learned from a youtube video.
Oh! My neighbor had to visit a guy we hate, and she impregnated his toothpaste with his liquid handsoap. Squirt it in and mush it until it's mixed. She also took all his extra toilet paper. He was very rude.
@Bloodrocuted that is equal parts evil and awesome! I would be all over the toothbrush attack, but this particular Kid hasn't actually done anything to me yet. But I think he might. If I give in. And its so hard not to give in! Ive been in a long, long dry spell. What are some willpower/temptation avoidance techniques when it comes to That Kind of Guy?!
Dude, he plays guitar. You know there's no way he's not gonna serenade you. I've never had a guitar dude crush on me and not try to serenade me and it's the most boring thing. Just remember that next time you want to get laid. Then feel your sex drive wither away into apathy and disgust.
@Inkling this is perfect. this is helping so much! My coworkers are glancing over at me because I am giggling at my computer like a madwoman. apathy and disgust. apathy and disgust.
I used to work at this tavern that had live music, and one time it was really empty, so the singer dude came up to my spot behind the bar and serenaded me. This was RIGHT AFTER a friend doubted me on how much I get serenaded, so I took a picture and texted it to him. And then I read We Have to Talk About Kevin and then he left. Good times.
PS If he's treated any woman like she's disposable, you can claim solidarity and do all that stuff. Especially stealing toilet paper.
@Inkling AHHHH being seranaded is so awkward. What are you supposed to do during the song? Inject some fun doowop background vocals? I never know!
But you know, stealing toilet paper means going over there. And I must not go over there. Ever. Must continue to knit and watch movies and cook large meals with my females.
i should be ovulating wednesday and i really want a baby so i hope this is the month!!!!!!!! funny, how fast we go from trying not to get pregnant, to desperately wanting to be pregnant. Im not supposed to tell anyone yet that we are actually trying... but i can at least tell you guys :)
@lynzillla Good luck! Goodspeed little egg and swimmers.
@lynzillla good luck!
@lynzillla Good luck! Sending good baby thoughts your way.
@lynzillla baaaaaaaaaby lynzilla (and mr./other ms. lynzilla/s)
You guys I just read that Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman are separating, after FORTY YEARS together. I thought the Poehler-Arnetts were hard to take.
@Valley Girl I JUST READ THAT TOO. Love is so, so dead.
@Valley Girl I JUST CAME HERE TO SHOUT THE SAME THING FROM THE ROOFTOPS. This is very upsetting.
I'm going to spend the rest of the day in the corner of my office, holding my knees, rocking back and forth and saying "We still have Jay & Be, we still have Jay & Be, we still have Jay & Be..."
@Reginal T. Squirge Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Jerry Stiller and Ann Meara... These are my last bastions.
@Valley Girl As long as the Obamas remain solid and happy, I will believe in the power of love.
Also, the story of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft (may she rest in peace) is so amazing that I feel like nothing can go wrong so long as that story remains told. Every time he talks about her I cry like a baby.
Also was anyone else as thoroughly traumatized by Danny DeVito as the Penguin as I was? I still can't watch him without heebie-jeebies, no matter what he's doing.
@Reginal T. Squirge Chris Pratt and Anna Faris! Relatively new couple, but still. Funny people!
@chrysopoeia Hanks/Wilson and Bacon/Sedgewick are my holdouts. As long as they're together, we can all get through this.
@Scandyhoovian Don't get me started on Brooks & Bancroft.
"He makes me laugh a lot," she said, explaining their attraction to the New York Daily News in 2000. "I get excited when I hear his key in the door. It's like, 'Ooh! The party's going to start.'"
@Scandyhoovian You're so right, they'll never be able to take Brooks and Bancroft from us.
I think Cobie Smulders and Taran Killam will have to be my new comedy OTP.
@Valley Girl BUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MATILDA?
@Reginal T. Squirge Christopher Guest and Jamie Lee Curtis are still together at least.
Give me a break. Who observes Columbus Day? Geez.
@purefog: Governments. :(
I'm glad to see some others around today! It sucks to work today!!! Give me some ideas for a good romantic movie to rent tonight on netflix... I am depressed.
The Break Up is a lot better than it gets credit for. Although... not exactly a happy ending. I have no idea about its Netflix availability.
@somuchsugar Is In the Mood for Love still streaming on Netflix? It's terribly romantic.
Oh, or Charade!
@Reginal T. Squirge Oh that was a good one! I would enjoy watching it again... I like movies that don't exactly end with the two together...
@Lucienne OH I love Charade! Thanks for the suggestion!
Oh, don't even get me started on In The Mood For Love...
@somuchsugar Yes, good choice! They might have How To Steal a Million which isn't as great as Charade but is nevertheless charming and delightful, and then you can make it an Audrey Hepburn caper double feature.
@Reginal T. Squirge Is that a good "don't even get me started" or a BAD "don't even get me started?" Because this conversation can go both ways, which is odd.
In The Mood For Love was introduced to me by someone for whom I currently have all the feelings in the world and our relationship has played out in a way that is depressingly similar to the plot of the movie. And we will never be together and I am going to die alone.
And I may have given her Nat King Cole songs in Spanish for her birthday. Maybe.
@Reginal T. Squirge Oh, dude. :(
@Reginal T. Squirge Oh yes, ITMFL is amazing and heartbreaking and so so beautiful. I watch it and think of loves that could be and that could have been. The soundtrack is phenomenal too- Michael Galasso stops me in my tracks and leaves me gazing dreamily out windows.
@Reginal T. Squirge OOF
I see some others are around today...so...today's Dear Prudie column? Anyone? Anyone? (It was pretty crazy.)
@fabel Hah, the one letter-writer wrote in like "Prudie, that was not necessary," and she flatly said in her own thinks-she-is-clever way, "sorry but I'm not walking it back."
Oh, Prudie. Never useful. Except for mocking. Mocking forever.
@fabel My favorite part was when I got to the end and Slate suggested reading "the Longform Guide to the Phallus."
@sudden but inevitable betrayal Whoa, you guys, I just finished it... and the "phallus" ad popped up for me, too. Hairpin, you ARE me.
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll
Q: Re: Constantly Cockpunched: Why doesn't the letter writer simply purchase a steel codpiece off the internet? If he is a wealthy and intelligent twentysomething (like I am) I'm sure he can navigate a website to protect his own body. Then the lady who keeps punching him for commenting on the internet will no longer be able to cripple him in front of his family.
Oops! Sorry I deleted my comment! I think we're on the same page that Prudie should have called out the bizarre victim-blaming?
Happy Monday, chaps! So I have the most ridiculous Masters timetable, which involves a 12 hour day on Mondays, and very little for the rest of the week. Buuuuut y'know, we got to play E.T. in orchestra, so that is what we call a good thing, yesyes? (IT WAS STAR WARS LAST WEEK. !.)
Waiting for my poor boyfriend to wake up from his wisdom tooth removal surgery. Ugh he had SIX teeth removed! Here's to a night filled with gauze changes and Percocet fueled ramblings.
@Is It a Hat? Oh yes--meant to say earlier today: refried beans! Good luck to you and speedy recovery to him.
@Nicole Sauvage@twitter Here's a belated thank you! And thanks for the idea, I just happen to have some in my pantry. PERFECT.
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