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Thursday, October 11, 2012

54

A Pie for the Clumsy

Previously: The Period Pie.

Ann Friedman tripped while rushing to the dance floor upon hearing the first notes of "Pony."



54 Comments / Post A Comment

JessicaLovejoy

Oh gawd, I was watching Maude and Vivian was wearing a kelly green cape like it ain't no thang and that needs to comeback, please.

stavros

Excellent and so true@m

entangled

I think "justifiable purchase of cape" needs to be way, way more than 10%.

redheaded&crazy

@entangled is there really any cape purchase that cannot be justified?

asks the one who purchased a leopard cape. A GLORIOUS LEOPARD CAPE.

missvancity

@redheaded&crazie WHERE FROM??? Oh god, I want a cape so badly!

redheaded&crazy

@missvancity ITS SO GOOD. I haven't worn it out yet though.

I got it at a bebe outlet (begin justifications: .........)

entangled

@redheaded&crazie I THINK YOU NEED TO BE WEARING THIS.

my father has a fancy black wool opera cake. I co-opted it as my own for awhile in high school and it was fantastic.

missvancity

@redheaded&crazie Last year I saw one at American Apparel and I am STILL kicking myself for not buying it. :(

missvancity

@missvancity They still have it, but it's $174 and I caaaaaaaaan't.

The Lady of Shalott

@entangled "Opera cake" sounds super fancy and decadent, like tuxedo cake. Opera cake should involve ganache and white chocolate drizzle, and it should be very dense and chilled, like cheesecake. And it should be served in tiny elegant bites, the better to be washed down with champagne. OR it should involve raspberry coulis. OR OR it should be like those tiny delicious little petit-fours that I constantly crave.

redheaded&crazy

@missvancity The bebe outlet one was $40 down from $80. I probably (definitely) would not have paid 80 for it. As it was I was waffling back and forth but my friends were taking so long trying things on that I waffled myself into buying it. It's very soft and perfect.

entangled

@The Lady of Shalott oh, man. not only typing fail but now I'm hungry. and want champagne, which is not really a work lunch option. and now I am googling pictures of opera cake instead of going to get lunch.

missvancity

@redheaded&crazie ORLY? I'm going to go check out the weirdy store that sells American Apparel stuff on the cheap this weekend, because I think I've decided I absolutely need this: http://store.americanapparel.net/product/index.jsp?productId=rsa5417w&c=navy

redheaded&crazy

@missvancity I like that one! Much more reasonably priced.

this is what I bought LOLZ

I need to go to the opera. And eat some opera cake. In my leopard ... opera ... cape.

missvancity

@redheaded&crazie So fab! You should go to the ballet! The ballet is way more fun than the opera! But keep the opera cake, obvi.

sintaxis

@The Lady of Shalott but there IS an opera cake already! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opera_cake
It's like tiramisu, BUT BETTER.

The Lady of Shalott

@sintaxis Augughghguhg THAT IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND, THOUGH!!!! But it does look delicious. But I like what I had in mind better! Oh god now I just want tiny bite-size cakes covered in perfect fondant frosting in pastel colours. But they should be tasty, too, not all gross like fondant is usually.

OH GOD I JUST WANT ALL THE CAKE.

anachronistique

@entangled My mom has a black opera cape with a red velvet lining. (Which is not helping the cake comparisons.) I think it belonged to one of my grandmothers; they were both pretty fashionable ladies back in the day. I borrowed it for a fancy dance or some similar event and felt unimaginably glamorous.

sintaxis

@The Lady of Shalott I really do insist that you go get yourself a petit four of the opera cake. Even though it's not what you had in mind, I promise you will not be disappointed! And no gross fondant!

Miss Maszkerádi

@The Lady of Shalott , Opera cake should be....like....a layer of sweet but simple mousse for the tenor, a layer of frothy, fun-loving and tart lemon cream for the soprano, and in the middle, some very smooth but very dark chocolate for the scheming baritone that comes between them.

(Commenting while hungry! My new pastime!)

social theory

@CountessMaritza you are a genius. the alto can be the gentle, neutral crust/base layer that holds the whole thing in place.

SarahP

Ugh, shoulders! I dislocated my shoulder in 2009 and it has never been the same.

annlf

@SarahP nooooooooo don't tell me that!

katiemcgillicuddy

@annlf I did it in 1999 and it's okay now, so hey, it'll be fine in 13 years. Although, come to think of it I do seem a little slanted. (Kidding, yes it was a little weird for a while, this is true, but eventually everything readjusted).

SarahP

@annlf I got mine from being hit by a car, though, so we're probably on different levels of dislocated-ness?

Brunhilde

@SarahP I dislocated mine in 1996 and it's still a little screwy. But that's because my rotator cuff got all jacked too, and I was a fast pitch softball pitcher. It pops out sometimes, usually when I'm doing yoga and suuuuuppperrr relaxed and all stretched out, but I can pop it back in. Also, it clicks when it's out of line.

Ophelia

@Brunhilde Ooh, I never quite dislocated it, but mine totally clicks if it gets out of line due to an unfortunate 3-legged race incident in 1998.

MilesofMountains

@SarahP Same here, in 2008. Although, I never went to a doctor and didn't go to a physiotherapist for years, I just popped it back in and went back to work. I don't recommend that.

Amphora

@Brunhilde I had a friend in college who could do that, too - he freaked us all out one day when he fell, stood up with his left arm just HANGING, and then went OH IT'S OKAY HAPPENS ALL THE TIME and popped it back in.

Eventually he did have to have rotator cuff surgery though.

Megasus

Mine would be 50% don't have to clean or exercise, and 50% cape, not gonna lie.

annlf

You guys, there are 6,623 results for "vintage cape" on Etsy. #icant

Anna Jayne@twitter

Once I fell down and bruised my butt ice skating because I was so excited that "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" was starting.

Anna Jayne@twitter

@Anna Jayne@twitter Also I am singing "This is a PIEEE...for the CLUMSAYYYY" in my Cher voice right now so you know power pop divas are sort of my jam

CrescentMelissa

@Anna Jayne@twitter Why is that song so exciting? It makes me want to fist pump.

nonvolleyball

wait, is the "Pony" story true???? please say yes; it's brought me so much joy & it's not fair for you to take that away from me.

whateverlolawants

@nonvolleyball It could have been me.

annlf

@nonvolleyball 100% true. the full story is i was outside a warehouse party (BECAUSE I AM AN ADULT) with the smokers, and i heard the first bwaaaamp bwamp bwamp bwaaaaamp notes of "Pony" from inside, and i rushed toward the dancefloor, tripped over a cinder block, and went flying. but then i stood up and shook it off and danced. and danced some more. on the way home, i was car-dancing to Solange when i heard a "pop" and i looked down and there was a bone sticking outward on my shoulder. aaaaaand then i was sobbing in urgent care at 4am. FUN! all true.

nonvolleyball

@annlf I love you. there's just nothing else to say.

cee
cee

@annlf you are my favourite person.

DullHypothesis

I listened to Pony while walking back to work from lunch, only to find this in my facebook feed. I appreciate your passion to the dulcet melodies of Ginuwine.

olivebee

Sadly, none of these would have applied when I dislocated my shoulder because it happened when I was 5. I was on the school bus going home from kindergarten, which was a 45 min. drive from my house, and I was talking to one of the boys in the seat behind me. I had my arm dangling over the back of the bus seat, and the other boy in the seat, Benji, grabbed my arm and yanked down on it as hard as he could. He pulled my shoulder out of its socket, and I wailed like a banshee in pain for the entire long bus ride home, because what was the bus driver going to do, pull over and call 911 for a 5-year-old? Nah.

katiemcgillicuddy

@olivebee Aww that's terrible :( I was 14 when I did it. A girl twice my size (I was the smallest girl in the whole goddamn league, but I was also one of the more violent ones, so) headed me directly in my own freaking head, I got knocked out and slammed into the ground. When I came to, I had to try and pop it back in. So, concussion (found out later, I had no recollection of the game from the header on) and busted shoulder, and they let me keep playing because, sure. My coach and parents and your bus driver prove that adults are complete morons.

olivebee

@katiemcgillicuddy Wow! What sport was that? That's rough. And I think adults in that generation (not today's helicopter parents) all subscribe to the "what doesn't kill kids makes them stronger" ideology because I also had to continue playing ball on a broken ankle due to my father. I slid into second base playing softball when I was 13, and my foot got caught under the base, wedged in that hole they use to anchor bases. I knew something was wrong, but my dad was like "ehhhh you're being a baby - keep playing!" So I did, and wound up causing what was just a hairline fracture to turn into a full break. Ah, parents.

katiemcgillicuddy

@olivebee It was soccer. Girl was actually going to head the ball and I had basically climbed up her side to stop her and BAM. It was not nice. My mom said, "oh you looked like a rag doll when she hit you!" As if it were kind of hilarious. Joke was on them later though, when they had to keep me awake all night and take me for a bunch of x-rays. My brothers and I were all really tiny kids, almost comically so, which always worried them, so when we developed insane Napoleon complexes that constantly led to this kind of trouble, I think they found it both relieving and entertaining when we would "just rub some dirt on it".

Amphora

@katiemcgillicuddy This American Life just ran a story about a girl in NZ who got bit by a damn shark and her parents took her to a local doctor, got her stitched up, and then tried to continue their family camping trip like No Big Deal.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Amphora Ha, I've been meaning to listen to that part. I was going to listen to it, but after hearing the amazing Tig Notaro part, I had to go listen to the full set (which, oh my god, incredible).

hands_down

This should be 50/50 between not cleaning or exercising and access to pain killers.

SarahP

Can we make it known that there's probably no such thing as TMI on the Hairpin?

TARDIStime

@SarahP So True.

Don
Don

YAY! I'm not the only one with a clumsy/drunk shoulder injury!

likethestore

Oh come on, prescription pain killers has to be at least 50%. (Fondly remembering the time I got percocet for an injury.)

julia

It was really hard to have "Pony" only once on our wedding playlist.

Also, I didn't get prescription painkillers - just ibuprofen horse pills. Don't let them (doctors, other people who have dislocated) scare you, mine has only popped out one other time.

leonstj

@julia - You should have played it 30 times in a row. My wedding is going to be nothing but SpottieOttieDopalicious on loop, and all of the shrimps. FOLLOW YOUR HEARTS.

WineRanger

Having spent 3 weeks (and one to go) in a hand cast from thumb surgery, allow me to add:

Infinity scarves make excellent slings.

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