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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

92

The Revolution Was Televised

Every person who appeared on The Talk on Monday did so without any makeup on. When does the revolution begin? Was that it? We were supposed to start Monday? It's already Wednesday. Tomorrow? Can we start tomorrow? Or Saturday would be even better, you know?

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Oh, squiggles

Aaaaand they all look completely normal and attractive. Damnit. I am really hoping that one day someone will do a big reveal, and actually look like a monster underneath the makeup. With scales, quills, and pulsing lights or something.

But whatever. Viva la Revolution.

Jane Marie

@Awesomely Nonfunctional PULSING LIGHTS

Oh, squiggles

@Jane Marie I'm picturing something that you can see underneath the skin. Little colored lights blinking in and out. Skin that actually...glows

okaycrochet

@Awesomely Nonfunctional In which case, why the hell were they covering it up with makeup? GLOWING SKINS

redheaded&crazy

@okaycrochet clearly because of the Volturi.

New Hoarder

@redheaded&crazie Oooh, you're right. They just outed themselves. Those crafty mavens on The View are too careful for that.

New Hoarder

@Awesomely Nonfunctional Until they completely remove the towels, you can still hope.

Oh, squiggles

I had to look up Volturi :-/ I didn't mean glowy in a Twilight sense, more in an alien-hybrid bioluminescence sense.

redheaded&crazy

@Awesomely Nonfunctional I'm far more ashamed to admit I DIDN'T have to look up volturi, even to spell it properly.

OhShesArtsy

I wasn't wearing makeup way before it was cool. I am clearly a hipster revolutionist.

fondue with cheddar

@OhShesArtsy Me too. And NOT LAZY AT ALL.

OhShesArtsy

@jen325 Definitely NOT LAZY. It was obviously a political choice or something. OBVIOUSLY.

Atheist Watermelon

@OhShesArtsy Me three! and it is only because i'm sticking it to the patriarchy, not because i can't be bothered. I would never prioritize sleep over looking polished. ever. honest.

okaycrochet

I actually did start Monday, because middle-aged women are lovely sans-makeup, and I am half their age. I'm also waking up 10 minutes before I have to leave for work as of Monday. I wash my face, remove eye goobers, and put on a little moisturizer. And clothes. Then I'm out the door.
I told myself the extra sleep was a bonus, and that smiling would be my make-up. So far, no one has even pulled the quintessential "You look tired today."
DO IT, PEOPLE. OUT THE DOOR IN 10 MINUTES.

frigwiggin

@okaycrochet I do this every day, but it's not intentional. Crummy sleep habits, yaaaay! Plus wolfing down an English muffin so I don't feel like throwing up while I'm on my bike. And dodging the cat.

Briony Fields

@okaycrochet Extra sleeping in time is the main reason I don't wear makeup most days. If I don't have an early start I might spend some time with my eyeliner, but sleeping as late as possible trumps all.

sarah girl

@okaycrochet I just started last week! I'd been slowly working my way back, from foundation to tinted moisturizer, then one day I just plain forgot to put on makeup before I went to work and was completely fine with my reflection in the mirror. So freeing!

New Hoarder

All I know is I didn't wear bronzer today and everyone has been asking if I am sick with my throat plague again.

I usually don't wear any, or other face makeup save the occasional dollop of blush (to be fair, I am a bit of a blush whore), but I've worn some bronzer the last couple of weeks due to sallowness from said throat plague.

Sometimes I watch The Talk during my lunch break, and I always chortle to myself as I turn on the TV, "What are those bitches gabbing about today?"

swirrlygrrl

@New Hoarder I am also a blush whore. Bluuusssshhhh! I swear I'm healthy and active, but I never have rosy cheeks, and I want them.

New Hoarder

@swirrlygrrl OOOOOHHHH we can talk more blush in today's Beauty Q&A, YAY! My husband is always like, "Oooh, I made you blush! *winky face" and I am all, "Uh, yes, sure you did!" But no, I am not naturally ruddy-cheeked, Mr. (non-)Hoarder. I was always jealous of my peers in gym class that turned red after running The Mile, while I just looked washed out and drenched in sweat.

Megasus

I love makeup, and own way too much, but I totally don't wear it every day.

New Hoarder

@Megano! I definitely enjoy buying makeup and nail polish way more than I do wearing it. I love my COLORS. Whenever I heard Southern women (er, mostly in movies) refer to "getting their colors done," I thought that meant arranging your favorite Crayolas in the 64+ box. So now I do the slightly more grown-up version of that with all my makeup palettes that are pristine because I am too lazy to figure out how they work. But OH THE COLORS!

dj pomegranate

@New Hoarder I WISH it meant arranging your favorite Crayolas in the 64+ box!

KeLynn

@New Hoarder What is it about nail polish? I wear it about 5 times a year because a) my nails are always super short and I don't like to call attention to it and b) I hate chipping but I type all day so it happens immediately. But you'd never know that from my ENORMOUS nail polish collection. All those colors and shimmers are just so enticing!

New Hoarder

@KeLynn My nail polish drawer is like a magical entrance to the land of My Little Pony. It's so innocent.

But yes, I DO need every shade of purple, green, and blue, each in a matte, shimmer, glitter, cream, etc. finish!

macaroni

@Megano! I'm the same way, and I tend to wear a lot of the same stuff when I do wear makeup. I got so excited on Friday when I found an eyeliner in an awesome color that I forgot I had. But 5(+, sometimes) days a week I wear little to no makeup.

Ophelia

...but why are they all wearing towels?

New Hoarder

@Ophelia I guess normally they wear full body makeup so they are parading out with clean white towels to show no body makeup-?

itmakesmewonder

There is a towel sponsor.

NeverOddOrEven

@Ophelia
Because clearly a woman wouldn't be caught dead being seen without makeup unless it's immediately post-shower.

BadWolf

Is it bad that I am more excited that Aisha Tyler and Sarah Gilbert are available on the television ALL THE TIME than I am about the no-makeup blow to the patriarchy machine? I did not know there was a show called The Talk, but I love them, and I wish I had cable now, because it is taking a very long time for there to be new episodes of Archer, and I need MORE AISHA. Ahem.

All I ever wear is eyeliner and mascara? And you can have it when you pry it out of my cold, dead punk hands. Without them, I look like India Wilkes: hairless rabbit-eyes.

WhiskeySour

@BadWolf I've considered watching this show (even though I'm not a talk show person at all) because AISHA! Do you listen to Aisha's podcast? She's had some amazing guests. And it's just fun. The first episode with Jon Benjamin had me crying laughing.

OhMarie

@BadWolf Yeah this seems pretty great--and is Sheryl Underwood the Sheryl Underwood of Def Comedy Jam? Cause she is pretty stupendous too.

BadWolf

@WhiskeySour She has a PODCAST? WITH JON BENJAMIN?! Where is this. I need this now.

KeLynn

@BadWolf I had no idea this show existed either, but any time I see Sarah Gilbert doing something I think "good for her." And I don't know why! How patronizing. It just seems like she's someone who wants to do lots of things but doesn't get as many chances as some other people.

WhiskeySour

@BadWolf Yes! She is so funny and smart and talks to so many cool and interesting people and I love her. It's called Girl on Guy. Seriously, I cannot recommend the Jon Benjamin episode enough.

Lucienne

Well, Sephora like, just sent me an e-mail telling me about 7 beauty products I never knew I needed, though I, in fact, do. So: probably not.

Oh, squiggles

They can pry my free Sephora samples from my cold dead hands.

Briony Fields

@Awesomely Nonfunctional I like the number of 'cold dead hands' comments stacked in a row here. Apparently we are passionate about makeup!

Oh, squiggles

@Briony Fields Or passionate about getting to use the phrase "pry it from my cold dead hands". Personally I just think people should get to put whatever they want on their face without judgement from others.

iknowright

As an avid fan of Big Brother (...anyone? Anyone?), I must say that seeing Julie Chen having such a personality is the most surprising part of this. I mean, yeah, she does look different without makeup, and definitely without all her sparkly jewelry, but The Chenbot just showed more emotion in the first 5 minutes of The View than in the past 14 seasons of BB.

Though I do think she felt bad for Britney. And hopefully for Frank? Please someone talk to me about this show.

dianarbol

@iknowright She's given a few interviews with Entertainment Weekly lately with a ton of personality - talking about how she loves Janelle, doesn't respect Jenn's game and floaters in general, thinks Frank seems like someone she would have "baby sat for when he was 8" and can't be his home girl... she's fantastic when she gets going.

I am obsessed with Big Brother, btw.

frigwiggin

@iknowright Aw, but I love Chenbot in her perfectly-programmed glory.

Lily Rowan

@iknowright YES. Everything about Julie Chen! She also looks about 15 years younger.

But first... I would love to talk about BB.

iknowright

@dianarbol Oooh yeah? I need to go search for those interviews. I do love her attempts to be objective because when she isn't it's so glorious. Like when Janelle shit-talked Mike and Julie just lauughhhed and laughed. I seriously think she doesn't like him and obviously has had to deal with him for 3 different seasons now. Oh man, what I wouldn't give to get some insider gossip from her.

iknowright

@frigwiggin Robots will be up in arms when they hear of the Chenbot/Zingbot love affair.

iknowright

@Lily Rowan Let's talk! Who do you love? Who do you hate? This has turned into one of those weird seasons for me where I don't really care about anyone who's left, so now that Frank's gone, and Dan's the only coach left, I'm a little bored. I guess I just think...no one has much personality, and those who do are just really arrogant/annoying? Who do you want to win?

Lily Rowan

@iknowright I guess Dan, mostly because it makes me laugh how he's willing to lie to anyone and screw over mostly anyone and then he gets in the DR and goes on and on about how he's just doing it for his family. In his shouty DR way.

They'll start showing segments from the sequester house this week, right? I mean, I certainly hope so.

Lily Rowan

@iknowright Also can you explain how Danielle and Shane became untouchable???

iknowright

@Lily Rowan Yeah, Dan is who I want to win simply because, even if he is arrogant, he has a right to be -- he plays the game so well. I think Ian is a creep. At first I thought he was just very socially awkward, which is fine, but I think he's trying too hard to play this game in a clever way (like what he did with Boogie), but is simply not as smart at BB as Dan, so he's coming off as a bully. It's pretty clear he thinks he's smarter than everyone, but come on man, you're in the BB house. No one's THAT smart. I guess I feel like he's needlessly stabbed people in the back, whereas Dan does it very smoothly, and out of desperation. (I also was not a fan of Dan's in his other season, probably because that season was just full of icky people.)

I think Shane might be really dumb. He seems to be sort of a space-case, and though he's a physical player, he hasn't actually won that much. Frank always beat him in competitions that were about power and all of the endurance ones favored small people. I think everyone left knows they can beat him at the mental games, so maybe he's being kept around since he's not much of a threat? Danielle has the luck of being under Dan's wing, which has benefitted Shane as well, but I think Ian would vote her out before either Dan and maybe even Shane. I don't know! Shane's only interesting quality is that he ignores gender norms, but I am not a fan of Dani at all.

And yeah, I wish every episode would just be 30 minutes in the sequester house (why have we seen nothing?!) and 15 in the BB house, because Frank and Britney are way more interesting than the 5 remaining.

Lily Rowan

@iknowright Oh yeah, Shane is not smart. Decorative, not useful...

Ian is definitely trying to hard -- it's funny/sad that he knows everything about BB except how to actually *do* a "good social game."

Lily Rowan

@iknowright Also also, can we talk about how funny/sad it is to have them leave the house to meet the gymnasts they had never heard of, because they went into the house before the Olympics??

iknowright

@Lily Rowan Oh my gosh, that entire scene was so incredibly awkward, especially when Shane was acting so pumped/surprised/thrilled and then was like, "so...what are your names?" Though I must say that watching how nice he is to everybody sort of makes me want him to be in the final 2. I'm glad he won POV, but I'm really, really bummed Dan lost HOH. I was hoping for Shane and Dan in the final 2 but it's starting to look like it'll probably be Danielle by default-social-game.

Also I went down a dark YouTube hole yesterday where I watched Jeff's interviews with Frank, Britney, Mike, and Janelle. Do you like Jeff? Based on the way CBS edited, he's like my all-time-favorite, but based on the alleged homophobic remarks he made that weren't aired, I guess it would be Jordan.

Lily Rowan

@iknowright I still like Jeff, even though it's probably wrong. He's so cute!

But also: OMGWTF Danielle. Come ON, lady! Dan is 100% untrustworthy, and she should know that by now.

iknowright

@Lily Rowan OH MAN. At the start of the episode I thought Dan must have won the veto since he was in that stupid shirt but Shane and Ian were dressed nicely -- it just proves how much confidence Dan had in himself that Danielle was definitely going to use the veto on him and take him off the block. I feel sick for Shane, mostly because he's a genuine nice guy, if not a little too un-flusterable (calmest interview ever! Right after being stabbed in the back!).

Though, maybe this is stupid, but I sort of think Dan would take Dani to the end? I mean, their relationship is sort of icky ("Sit down." AND SHE DOES LIKE A DOG), and all of his tricks involving her border on sociopathic, but at the same time they all have been moves that 1) help her and 2) keep her honest.

Lily Rowan

@iknowright I think he would take her to the end only because he can definitely make a case for himself winning against her -- she only made it that far because of him, he's the puppetmaster, etc. Ian could maybe make a case that he's done stuff on his own without stabbing literally everyone else in the back over and over again.

I can't remember how the final comps usually work -- I feel like it's endurance first? That gives Ian an advantage, I think, but in general I do think the three of them are pretty well matched -- Danielle obviously can do the memory tasks, too, and Dan can talk anyone into a deal (apparently).

Overall, this has been an exciting season!

iknowright

@Lily Rowan I think it's round 1 of endurance, then whoever wins that goes to round 3, then the two who lost round 1 play something physical, then the winner of that faces the round 1 winner on finale night to play that dumb-as-fuck "mental" game where they finish the sentences of people in jury. I always hated that being the last game because it's all guessing, and doesn't actually require house knowledge or memory or skill.

I'm glad we got to talk about this! I feel like only 7 people watch BB. Next Thursday morning I might have to find you to talk about the finale!

Lily Rowan

@iknowright Ha ha! I've been surprised seeing on Facebook who I know is also watching.

OMG the sentence finishing! No wonder I forgot about that -- blocked it out.

YES NEXT THURSDAY.

parallel-lines

Hey, God didn't give all of us these things called "eyebrows" and we gotta do what we can to compensate.

New Hoarder

@parallel-lines I'd be happy to lend you mine, especially the sarcastic left one.

swirrlygrrl

@New Hoarder I will take you on that offer. I have dark eyebrows, but they only move in unison and I feel sad every time I see someone saucily raise one eyebrow.

The Hyperbolic Julia Set

@parallel-lines I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who was born with one sarcastic eyebrow, though mine is the right.

RocketSurgeon

I forgot to wear mascara yesterday, but had done my other makeup, including bronze eyeliner and a sandy eyeshadow. Every time I looked in the mirror, I wondered why I looked a little "off" (I have light lashes). It wasn't until I got home that I realized what I'd forgotten. Strange.

itiresias

@RocketSurgeon My eye has been acting really weird for two months now - I woke up with pink eye one day in June for no reason, and it just never entirely went away. Way too many doctor's visits and attempted remedies later, both eyes are still bloodshot and a little swollen (although it never spread to anyone else and is supposedly completely better by now, but I don't believe it)

Anyway, I haven't been able to wear mascara for that whole time. And at work, people treat me differently. Like they expect me to be less confident or are subtly nosing into seeing what's going on or wrong with my personal life. It's lame.

NeverOddOrEven

@itiresias
I think we need to make people subscribe to the Dave Barry Method in a broader sense.
Just like you shouldn't mention a woman's pregnancy until the baby is crowning, you don't ask one if she's sick until she's vomiting on your shoes or if there's something wrong until she's crying on your floor.

KeLynn

@itiresias That is nutty! I definitely feel less confident and kind of dumpy myself when I don't wear mascara, which I feel is probably a personal flaw, but I don't recall anyone else ever actually treating me like that because I didn't wear it.

New Hoarder

@KeLynn I feel all wrong if I don't put on mascara every couple of days... but, clear mascara. I put on makeup like an 8-year-old. Clear mascara, red cheeks. I don't know. I like the method but not the end result?

itiresias

@KeLynn To be fair, I'm the kind of person who wears a little bit of eye makeup every day - some tinted moisturizer under my eyes and mascara - because my eyelashes are blonde, my skin is super pale and my face gets lovely shades of red blotches and purple under eye bags. So with nothing, there's a noticeable difference. It's also allergy season, so, you know, that makes me look wildly awake and peppy too. But still!

On the bright side, with those personal hangups about never going out without makeup, I learned that it feels AWESOME to go out to a bar wearing nothing but red lipstick and get hit on anyway (and not by total weirdo creeps).

katiemcgillicuddy

Goddamn, Aisha Tyler is gorrrgeoussss.

New Hoarder

@katiemcgillicuddy She so is, isn't she? I had a big girl crush on her when she used to do Talk Soup!

katiemcgillicuddy

@New Hoarder And like, that's just an aside, the whole being gorgeous thing, she is so funny and so charming and just, Aisha Tyler everyone.

Jane Marie

@katiemcgillicuddy RIGHT? I love her.

wee_ramekin

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I loved this! I don't even know who any of these people are (other than Sharon Osborne), but I love it! I love it I love it I love it!!! I wish they would do this all the time.

This sounds really hokey, but as a non-make-up wearing lady, I got a little verklempt at seeing all these people without cosmetics.

wee_ramekin

@wee_ramekin Also as a non-make-up wearing lady, it is honestly amazing to me the way that people can make their faces look so different with make-up! It's incredible!

NeverOddOrEven

@wee_ramekin
Oooh, you should go familiarize yourself with Aisha Tyler RIGHT NOW.

cocokins

@wee_ramekin Totally agree!! It's incredible! Every time I see a makeup tutorial or watch someone get made over (or when I got my makeup done for my wedding), I think, what is this MAGIC?!

fondue with cheddar

@wee_ramekin The curly-haired brunette played the younger daughter on Roseanne.

wee_ramekin

@jen325 Heee! And she's gay! Sweet...

katiemcgillicuddy

@jen325 I feel like that's not a proper explanation of who she played. She played MOTHERFUCKING DARLENE on "Roseanne".

fondue with cheddar

@katiemcgillicuddy forgot her character name! I haven't watched that show in a very long time. She was the best one on that show, hands down. And she's adorable to boot.

cocokins

Here's what I think: if you just don't wear makeup ever, people don't notice that you're missing it (and neither do you!). At least, not usually. Nicely waxed eyebrows, a little bit of lip balm or gloss, and a big ol' smile do a WORLD of good. All that other stuff is just extra.

cocokins

Even the eyebrow plucking is probably unnecessary. But, I will say that once I started doing it regularly, I felt more...done? Like I could take on the world?

fondue with cheddar

@cocokins Yes, lip balm is my makeup. I will sometimes put on a little concealer if I have a big ol' zit, or maybe lipstick if I'm going to a wedding.

I feel the same way about plucking my eyebrows, but it's so hard because they cover a wide area but are really sparse and nonsymmetrical. I have to choose each hair I tweeze very carefully, and I get impatient so I hardly ever do it.

KeLynn

@cocokins I think that's a good point - it's not the going bare-faced that people notice, it's the going bare-faced when you usually don't.

New Hoarder

@jen325 I feel naked if I don't reapply my lip balm every hour, at least. Any other makeup I wear is just me either sticking it to the man (like BRIGHT eyeshadow to work- ha, die Mr. 90-Year-Old-Attorney!) or just having a creative outlet.

I don't feel ugly when I don't wear makeup, but I find it soothing to go through motions of painting my face. MY FACE IS MY (horribly imperfect) CANVAS. Is what I tell my husband when I scream at him to get out of the bathroom you're not making me get ready to go out any faster!

the jackal

@cocokins Ah, but that's the thing. It's worth it to me to spend 15 minutes on makeup in the morning because it makes me feel more confident/put together/ready to take on the world for the rest of the day.

mustelid

@cocokins Yep. I never wear any makeup, so this is just my face, deal with it. But then sometimes I'll put on like, a slightly tinted lip balm or something like that and everyone is like "ARE YOU WEARING LIPSTICK???"

cocokins

@mustelid I feel so weird when people make comments when you do something slightly different than usual! Can't I just wear darker-tinted Burt's Bees without some old lady asking me if I have a hot date tonight?

fondue with cheddar

@mustelid That's the worst thing about not wearing makeup or dressing casually. Because as soon as you do something out of the ordinary people are make such a big deal out of it. I just bought a casual dress for the first time in probably 20 years, and I'm sort of afraid to wear it because of the reaction I will most certainly get.

The Hyperbolic Julia Set

@Nellie Oleson Yes! I actually find most of these threads pretty ironically timed because I just started wearing make up regularly and everyone's talking about quitting. And like @mustelid said at first everyone was like "IS THAT MAKE UP?!" but I like looking put together and it gives me confidence. But that being said I don't do all the makeup all the time. Some days its worth it to sleep in and go bare.

you're a kitty!

I have some pretty intense genetic dark circles (i.e. it's the blood vessels showing through, so nothing affects it), so I'm consistent about wearing under-eye concealer. However, if I'm ever feeling ill and I don't want people to expect things from me, I go without, and everyone IMMEDIATELY does the "oh my god are you okay!?" thing. It's kind of useful when properly applied.

Woooo genetics.

Hella

@you're a kitty! NICE. I do the exact same thing, but it's blush/no-blush and wearing something green... Apparently green makes me look like I'm about to throw up

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