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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

89

The League of Ordinary Ladies: A Summer Reflection

Previously: Jobs and Juice.

Esther C. Werdiger made more totes!

89 Comments / Post A Comment

allofthecrafts

Ohmigod the "Realization of the summer". I HAVE THOSE SAME FEEEELS.

Maladydee

@allofthecrafts That is exactly where I am at right now. And I am in the process of following the Advice of the Summer. (currently on steps 2 and 3, eagerly awaiting the day I am capable of step 4.)

chunk lite

@allofthecrafts "THIS IS MY LIFE! SHE KNOWS MY LIFE!!!" -- me, to a nonplussed cat, like, 3 seconds ago.

aliceandstuff

@allofthecrafts God, me too.

ThatWench

@allofthecrafts I love cats in general, and mine in particular, but man they can be such buttheads when you get really exciting news and they're all like, "let me show you my super-nonplussed face".

meg12

@allofthecrafts Yep, welcome to my life as well. My roommate's advice is always "just find an random guy and make out with him/go on a date/etc." My reaction is always -well how do I know if I like him if I just met him - give me another month to decide.

Tammy Pajamas

Last week in yoga, this woman went to her purse and got her nail clippers and started clipping her nails onto the floor of the studio!!! I was the only other student there, so it was very obvious and awkward. And disgusting.

EternalFootwoman

@Tammy Pajamas Eeeeew, why do people do this?! I always see it on the Metro! Nail clipping is a bathroom activity. Would that lady poop in the middle of the yoga studio? If not, then she shouldn't clip her nails there! (If yes, then I don't want to know and she has weirder problems than I can handle.)

Ellie

@Tammy Pajamas Wait - aren't you supposed to be doing yoga, and not random other activities, during yoga? I am confused!

all the bacon and eggs

@EternalFootwoman To be fair, I have also seen someone poop in the middle of a subway car.

Tammy Pajamas

@Ellie The class is in a studio that's connected to the teacher's house. She'd gone in the house to tend to her kid for a second. This woman then got up and started clipping her nails and the teacher came back while she was doing it. If she was appalled (someone is clipping their nails on your floor!!!!), she did a good job of hiding it.

EternalFootwoman

@all the bacon and eggs Hmmm, yeah, upon further reflection it does seem that The Bathroom Rule is inappropriate for many of my fellow public transport users.

Ophelia

@EternalFootwoman Ew, yes. My personal feeling is that if you're putting something ONTO yourself (makeup, bobby pins) and it doesn't smell bad (nail polish), then that's fine. You are not allowed to take things OFF while in public (nail clippings, hairballs). Except shoes.

all the bacon and eggs

@EternalFootwoman For some people, the world is their bathroom!

laurel

@EternalFootwoman: I once saw a womanon the bus whip out a mirror and tweezers and go after some chin hairs.

EternalFootwoman

@Ophelia I think this is a great rule!
@laurel About twenty years ago, my mom and I saw a couple in a restaurant pull out floss and floss at their table. We still talk about it.

nina

@Tammy Pajamas I saw someone reading Atlas Shrugged in yoga once, and I think that constitutes a disgusting bathroom activity.

Killerpants

@Tammy Pajamas et al. Public flossing? Public toenail clipping? Public Atlas Shrugged reading? I am so delightfully horrified by all of these tales...

EternalFootwoman

@nina Now that is truly nasty.

redheaded&crazy

hungry/angry = HANGRY

travelmugs

@redheaded&crazie hungry/angry/hungover=HANGROVER

Reginal T. Squirge

Hang glider/Range Rover = HANGROVER

Ophelia

@Reginal T. Squirge Dog on a trapeze = HANGROVER

Reginal T. Squirge

Grover from The Muppets dressed up like Han Solo = HANGROVER

Ophelia

@Reginal T. Squirge a coatrack too high to reach = HANGEROVER

aliceandstuff

@redheaded&crazie Tired + Angry = TANGRY

Reginal T. Squirge

@aliceandstuff

Tired + horny = THORNY

Esther C. Werdiger

@Reginal T. Squirge
@Ophelia

call me

frigwiggin

@Ophelia Children's dangerous schoolyard game = REDROVER

Ophelia

@Esther C. Werdiger ...maybe?

but if you're in New York, I will totally stalk you.

The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak

@redheaded&crazie

Team + Effort = Teffort

Serafina

@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak Or maybe team+effort=teafort, with the added bonus that it could also be a fort made of tea bags or specifically for brewing tea?

whizz_dumb

@Reginal T. Squirge Horny+Hungry+Hungover is a common combination. Hurnygrover?

Reginal T. Squirge

Of course it was the dude with the beard that flossed in public.

New Commenter Name

@Reginal T. Squirge
So, this one time I was in a restaurant and a lady in the booth right next to me started flossing her teeth! Right there at the table! In a restaurant! A crowded restaurant during lunchtime! I am making a thousand million gross faces now just remembering it.

Reginal T. Squirge

There's a good Seinfeld scene somewhere where they're discussing flossing etiquette and brand preferences.

hahahaha, ja.

@Curiouser and curiouser: I'm sorry to say that my dad does this. :( We have told him a million times not to, but he just gets defensive. :( :( :(

Chrestomanci

@hahahaha, ja. Maybe 'accidentally' forward this to him?

Drink All the Coffee

@Reginal T. Squirge True story: when I was a child, my dentist had this big poster of Jerry Seinfeld with lots of quotes about flossing (Ex: "I don't like flavored dental floss. You want flavor, eat.") As a result, I involuntarily think of Jerry Seinfeld EVERY SINGLE TIME I floss. It's weird.

Aeroplane

@Drink All the Coffee Not weird! Seinfeld is probably the first sit-com I ever saw that even addressed oral hygiene, let alone flossing. I always think of the TV character Seinfeld when I floss too.

fondue with cheddar

@Reginal T. Squirge There was a great scene in LA Story involving flossing in public. actual floss part starts at 1:04

redheaded&crazy

also I had four separate incidents of baby spiders invading my room in july. THERE WERE SO MANY OF THEM. THEY WERE HANGING FROM THINGS. THEY SPREAD TO EVERY CORNER OF MY ROOM.

this is how it begins: you sit down to type a comment on the hairpin and notice a baby spider crawling along the edge of the screen. a tingly feeling comes over you. you look to the side and notice one hanging down from your lamp. reluctantly, with trepidation, you raise your eyes to the ceiling AND THEY ARE EVERYWHERRRRRRRE.

fuck you baby spiders. (i should note that by the fourth time i was like "oh you baby spiders, how laughable! you'll just eat each other anyway! sure how BOUT i just go to sleep not knowing for sure whether i've well and truly vaccuumed you all up!")

Lyesmith

@redheaded&crazie Oh god, this is like a real life horror movie. I've nervously checked out my ceiling twice since reading your comment.

Bittersweet

@redheaded&crazie So a friend of mine from grad school went to Tibet with some friends, and one of the women he traveled with had a boil on her face...and one day it burst open and tiny spiders came out. Out of her face.

rasko

@Bittersweet No.

No.

NONONONONONONONONONO.

yeah-elle

@Bittersweet Nope. nope. nope nopeopnopeonpe.

That is an urban legend, I refuse to believe it. Excuse me, I'm going to be over here, clawing my face off.

MoonBat

@redheaded&crazie Uh uh, no, not spiders, lots of spiders, there's no way I could sleep until I'd vacuumed everything and then emptied the vacuum receptacle outside and then left the entire vacuum outside just in case, and then sprayed poison and then left the lights on and stared at the ceiling suspiciously and put my glasses on a few times just in case and then fuck it, I'll be on the couch.

Sierra

@redheaded&crazie "oh you baby spiders, how laughable! you'll just eat each other anyway!" lmfao

tessamae

@Bittersweet BITTERSWEET. I can never unread that. Why? Whhhhyyyy?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Myrtle

@Bittersweet I just read on the Internets that that is the real cause of Rosecea- these tiny bugs are in your pores and they can't poop, so they just explode and voila- poops in pores. Yes, it's the most disgusting thing I've ever read.
http://www.newser.com/story/153274/rosacea-caused-by-mite-poop-in-your-face.html

Ophelia

Wait, where are all these motorized scooters? I only see them on TV commercials on, like, the History Channel.

EternalFootwoman

@Ophelia There are a TON of people with motor scooters and motorized wheelchairs in my city, particularly in my area of the city. The part that amazes me is that they rarely use the sidewalk, opting instead to motor themselves down the street. Sometimes the bike lane, but usually the middle of the street. Unbelievable.

Ophelia

@EternalFootwoman This is fascinating to me! I live in a neighborhood with a lot of old people, and I can remember seeing only one scooter, ever. Maybe we just have too many potholes.

Obnoxious adults on Razrs, on the other hand...

frigwiggin

@Ophelia Oh man, the town I live in is like a national hub for Rascals.

tessamae

@Ophelia Join us in the Midwest, won't you? Adults on scooters abound! Also: sadness.

Chesty LaRue

The frame "And the just wearing them again" might be my favorite thing ever.

machinesss

Ah ok I have had that realization too! Is that a bad thing though? I never thought it was a bad thing until now!!?!?!

thisisunclear

ooh, I really hope following advice of the summer grants me shiny hair.

insouciantlover

haha, I like the borrowing panties and then just wearing them again. Have you ever borrowed someone's bikini bottoms to use as underwear and then decided to just wear them quietly a few times before returning them, and then you see them wear the bikini and the bottoms are noticeably more washed out than the top and you just hope she didn't really notice? Ahhh summer.

frigwiggin

But guyyyys summer isn't even over for another two weeks and two days! MAKE THE MOST OF IT

Heat Signature

@frigwiggin STOP PRESSURING ME

leylusha

Man I have been almost mowed down by speed demon juiceboxes on Segways (TM) like ten times this summer.

liverwortlaura

@leylusha are you in Chicago? if so, we should form a support group. They are the worst.

Heat Signature

@leylusha Oh Segways...remember how the inventor made this HUGE DEAL about his invention, and how he kept hyping it as "technology that will change the world", and then he revealed that it was a fucking Segway?

Megasus

Hold up. Why wouldn't you just buy some underwear!? I would frankly rather go commando than wear a friend's underwear!

SarahP

@Megano! Definitely.

meetapossum

@Megano! I'm shocked that I had to scroll down so far to find someone who was as grossed out about that as I would.

For the record, I would also never lend my friends my underwear. Sorry, friends!

Megasus

@meetapossum Haha, yeah no underwear borrowing here either! But I will happily go and buy you some.

selenalynn

@meetapossum I usually have a few new spares around. Like toothbrushes! Though I don't find myself often in an underwear-lending position.

Gracefully and Grandly

I know her full name is clearly printed, but I always read Esther C. Werdiger as Esther Williams. There's no explanation for why my brain does this (well, besides the fact they're both Esther W's) but it happens. So what I'm saying is, Esther (C. Werdiger) is a magical mermaid swimmer!

But the single eyeball frame - the truth.

Regina Phalange

A few things:
1. I am very concerned about how close your glasses are to your pillow! Perhaps it's because I have borderline-Birbigs sleep habits, but that just feels like a recipe for disaster.

2. I deeply approve of your Hot New Love Interest's strong jaw.

3. Why did you give up so easily on the other hot guy?!

C.Hershey

"Which is gross! So fuck those guys" hahahahahhaha! Love that ending.

Blousey Brown

I <3 Esther! This is my favorite one ever.

Sierra

I LOVE L.O.E.L.!! <3<3<3

CrescentMelissa

@redheaded&crazie tired+hungry+angry=thangry

SarahP

@CrescentMelissa + wedgie: thongry

thenewbrunette

I had that exact same irrational fear this summer! Except I thought they were in the sofa.

Bob Loblaw

A friend who I hadn't seen in years came to visit me and started flossing his teeth AS WE WALKED DOWN THE STREET. IN A CITY. There were other people on the sidewalk! I said WTF but he kept doing it. I was embarrassed to be walking with him.

I am still a little traumatized.

Myrtle

This particular group of comics is reminding me of the 'Pin chat several people had about the drug Abilify; specifically, that the drug "flattened" that too-loud critical voice. I copied out several of the comments and keep re-reading them, to see if I want to try it.

samjohn4810

That is exactly where I am at right now. And I am in the process of following the Advice of the Summer. How To Choose an Adjustable Bed

samjohn4810

THIS IS MY LIFE! SHE KNOWS MY LIFE!!!" -- me, to a nonplussed cat, like, 3 seconds ago. How To Choose an Adjustable Bed

samjohn4810

Last week in yoga, this woman went to her purse and got her nail clippers and started clipping her nails onto the floor of the studio!!! I was the only other student there, so it was very obvious and awkward. And disgusting. Whats the Best Adjustable Bed Brand

samjohn4810

That is exactly where I am at right now. And I am in the process of following the Advice of the Summer Koh Samui real estate

samjohn4810

allofthecrafts I love cats in general, and mine in particular, but man they can be such buttheads when you profit sensation review

samjohn4810

That is exactly where I am at right now. And I am in the process of following the Advice of the Summer. data recovery glasgow

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