Quantcast

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

9

This Thing All Things Devours


Do you think Andy Serkis spends all of his downtime frantically drinking cups of tea with lemon and honey and mainlining Ricola? Maybe he should.

Poor Gollum. He never had a chance, you know? Maybe a few months in the Houses of Healing, some decent PTSD therapy for the torture he underwent in Mordor, the right girl...who's to say?



9 Comments / Post A Comment

royaljunk

Nicole how do you always post things that are so perfectly aligned with me and my interests?

I suspect witchcraft is involved

sarah girl

WOW, I read that as Amy Sedaris and was really confused.

blueruin

God DAMN IT. Every time I remember this movie is going to exist I compulsively watch the trailer 50 times in a row. Here we go again! Far ooooover the misty mountains coooold

fondue with cheddar

@blueruin THE WAITING IS SO HARRRRRD

melis

Also what kind of culture follows those weird-ass naming conventions? Sméagol and Déagol are barely even related and their names are near-perfect matches for no apparent reason!

Cawendaw

@melis That's probably how they became friends! They were always seated next to each other in river folk kindergarten, they were always receiving each other's mail and had to meet up to sort it out, someone would yell "Ack! Seagull!" from far away and they'd both shout "What?"
They kept running into each other so much that their only choices were to resent each other for something that wasn't their fault, or give in to fate and just hang out all the time. And hey, we're good-natured river folk, right? Why not be friends?
At parties, they'd be inseparable, and people started giving them cute nicknames and joking about how they were basically the same person, even though there were a lot of important personality differences that people ignored because HA HA so cute name twinsies!!! The quirk became a gimmick, the gimmick became the only important thing anyone remembered about them, and slowly the river folk began to lose interest in them as people, seeing them only as a local running gag. Sméagol and Déagol, the unwilling Jedward of Middle Earth.
Eventually what seemed like a fated friendship became a chain around their necks, and they started secretly resenting each other just for existing. The joke (that they had never encouraged) was wearing thin, and now they only really hung out with each other because all they ever heard was "whoa, hey *just* Sméagol? Where's your other half?"
Resentment started to simmer below the surface. Their other friends drifted away, the invitations petered out, and on Sméagol's birthday it was just the two of them, sentenced to be friends forever no matter what they wanted, mutual hatred simmering below the surface. Then came the ring...

royaljunk

@Cawendaw OH MY GOD

buttercup empire

@Cawendaw you are my hero.

blueruin

@Cawendaw I cannot handle this. CANNOT. TOO AMAZING.

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account