Nothing Libelous Going On in This Sentence

Some people, but not us, because we have no official position on the Church of Scientology, which has almost certainly never committed any crimes, and we would never imply otherwise, are getting totally revved up for The Master, and are hence dying to read all about the auditions held to find Tom Cruise a wife, since the chick who played Nora on HIMYM didn’t work out (we would never, ever imply that pretending to be in a relationship with Neil Patrick Harris was the logical next step, never), and then finding links to horrifying Village Voice pieces about how Miscavige’s wife, or ex-wife, or dead wife may or may not BUT PROBABLY NOT be being held against her will in a containment facility, because she’s probably on a wonderful cruise, having a wonderful time, trying pesto.

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