Wednesday, September 26, 2012



Healthy-living website Hella Wella made a Periodic Table of Cocktails that it'll distribute tomorrow via newsletter, but it's viewable early here.

The little numbers in the corner match up with the drinks' calories and sugar content and all that, and the icon is the glass they're supposed to be served in. The PToC also has a picture of a vintage cash register in the middle that looks like it might do something interactive, but I can tell you with great certainty that it is just a picture, and the little buttons are also just pictures.

In sadder alcohol-related news, bag-in-a-box wines are not always as perfect as they seem (BPA).

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The Lady of Shalott

Maybe I'm just thirsty but every single thing on this list looks delicious. Someone please bring me sixteen gin fizzes on a platter, please.

OR anything involving lime juice. Well, anything involving ginger. Or lime juice. Not together, though. Or gin. I will accept deliveries beginning immediately.


@The Lady of Shalott I'm upset by your harsh segregation of lime and ginger. It is a Universal Truth that gin, in ginger beer, with a twist of lime, is The Greatest Drink That Ever Was.


@The Lady of Shalott Ginger and lime forever! Dark and stormies with ginger beer, dark rum and lime were like my jam all summer.


@mangosara I was only recently introduced to the wonders of gin and ginger and I regret all the time I spent not drinking it before.

The Lady of Shalott


But I have never put a lime into it! Mostly because a drink that has more than two ingredients is just too much damn work for me if I'm drinking at home.


@The Lady of Shalott I am perplexed as to how a gin fizz has more sugar than a gin and tonic...?


Create new memories! :)@v

Tragically Ludicrous

That...that is kind of awesome.


I initially read "it'll distribute via newsletter" as "I'll distribute via newsletter" (I'm not sure why/how) & was like "THERE'S A HAIRPIN NEWSLETTER HOW COME I DON'T KNOW HOW COME I DON'T GET IT?!"

so, uh, if you ever DO decide to start a Hairpin newsletter, let this be a warning that apparently I'll be VERY UPSET if it's not widely publicized.

AJ Sparkles

@nonvolleyball Me, outloud: "NOBODY TOLD ME THERE IS A NEWSLETTTTTTTER..."



BPA is the worst. I've noticed a significant improvement in my PCO symptoms since getting militant about it not being in my diet (and I used to eat a lot of canned soups and canned tomato products). Why doesn't the FDA do more? guh.


@teenie Really? I've got the PCOS and am not militant about BPA (I love you box wine!!!) so this is relevant to my interests.


@OhMarie yes really! just do a google search on "bpa pcos" and all sorts of goodies come up. apparently, it feeds into the hormonal loop that makes hormones that create cysts that make the hormones that create cysts.

Ironically, when was with my ex and we were doing fertility stuff, we were trying to save tons of money by shopping at costco, getting cases of soup, and I would have at least a can of soup each day, if not more. at that time, I wasn't getting my period at all. Now I get it every 28 days, clockwork. The only other big change I've made is exercising very regularly. So... correlation vs. causation blah blah, but it's compelling enough for me.


This is so great to hear!

I've just switched from canned tomatoes (major portion of my diet) to Pomi tomatoes that come in a BPA-free cardboard box (you can get "chopped" or "strained," and "strained" is actually the correct old-school Italian way to make sauces anyway, so this may have improved my cooking on several levels, ha). It's been making me feel sheepish because it's a tiny bit more expensive, and it seems fussy. So the fact that it's possible to experience measurable benefits so soon is great to hear! (And I'm very happy that your PCOS symptoms are improving).

I also like the bionaturae tomato paste in the glass jar, though it too is a little pricey. Any other non-BPA tomato sources that you liked? (And is there some reason it is not possible to freeze tomatoes?)


@harebell Hm, I'm not sure about the freezing...

I also changed to Pomi - insisting to the change much to the chagrin of my (very very Italian) Mr. Teenie, who was convinced that his "gravy" would suffer tremendously because he couldn't use the name brand his family loves. But it's been just fine, and now he's a convert to avoiding it at all costs, because he's seen the change it's made in my health!

No idea re: the paste. We usually get it in the little toothpaste tubes? but I don't know if that's any better or not, it's just easier to work with since you can refrigerate it, etc.


@harebell Fun fact! I am Italian and thought everyone made their tomato sauce the strained way until I was at least sixteen years old.

Girl Named Jack

I panicked about the BPA for a second, but it looks like Bota Box is good. Thank God. You can pry my box of Old Vine Zinfandel from my tipsy, slightly uncoordinated fingers. Or, just wait until I'm asleep, really. Or, just ask me for a glass? There's plenty to go around, you know, without taking my BPA-free boxwine away.


Why would I want to know the calorie content of any of these drinks????? Everyone knows alcohol doesn't count!


@Ellie Last I checked, my liquor bottles list absolutely no calories. Not a single one!


Okay, but doesn't the caloric/sugar content of a g&t depend largely on what kind of tonic water you use? I feel like there are too many variables for this project to be reliable.


@Lucienne I would think so. Also, I always thought I hated tonic water until I tried the Fevertree and Q brands, which dear god are overpriced yet delicious.


@Lucienne Yes, for example, mine have zero calories. Sometimes negative calories, if I drink a lot and then fall down a lot.


@insouciantlover Fevertree Tonic + Hendricks Gin = PERFECTION. No lime, no lemon necessary. And even the Light Tonic is pretty good.


Please do not put brandy in my champagne cocktails. Or a cherry. I like just sugar, bitters, a little lemon zest and oh hell let's float some chartreuse on that sucker.


This stuff in the tetra pak is all we ever drink anymore. The tetra pak is just a cardboard box, which is awesome. No sulfites mean I don't get headachey and lonely-feeling!


By the way, we are not fancy, if that isn't obvious.


@Rock and Roll Ken Doll

Is this the royal "we"?


All credit to Mrs. Rock and Roll Ken Doll (who has even bigger problems with sulfites than I do) for the discovery!


I don't think there's any escaping BPA. Or mercury. Or pesticides. Or any of the other hundred thousand things to worry about...sigh.


@frigwiggin I think that Edith's ongoing campaign to KEEP ALL OF THE WINE FOR HER SELFISH SELF is becoming more and more obvious.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@frigwiggin Agreed. A lot of times students will see me with my Nalgene and be like "doesn't that cause cancer?" My response: "Everything causes cancer. I don't think this is going to make a big difference."


@Veronica Mars is smarter than me
This is way too true!
I stopped worrying about all the chemicals in things long ago when I realised that there is not way I can avoid them all unless I go completely Jungle Girl (seriously, the AIR where I work has started to affect my breathing - I'm not going to stop respirating).
No chance of that, so I am only avoiding the shit that actually makes me feel shitty now.


1) Yes, 7 & &s, my DOC. Delicious.

2) I know it's just a Wisconsin thing but brandy in an Old Fashioned is basically The Best Thing.


@TheUnchosenOne I like an applejack old fashioned myself.

Or, uh, just applejack.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

I feel like this table includes a bunch of cocktails that are "traditional" in America, but that no one ever drinks, while leaving out a bunch of "exotic" cocktails that have become quite popular. I think the mojito is the most out there that they get.

(OK basically I am just upset that no caipirinhas of any sort made it onto the table, Brazilian cocktails represent.)

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

VMISTM: taking The Non-Other-ing Fight where it really matters: cocktail infographics.

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