What's the most recent present you gave someone? Or, deer that you drew?
gifts, open thread
THANK GOD THE FOT
THIS DAY IS... GAH.
GIVE ME ALL YOUR GOSSIP FOT. ALL OF IT.
@JadedStone KATE MIDDLETON TOPLESS PICS. She is handling this so insanely well.
Also, apparently Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively up and got married last weekend? WHAT IS GOING ON I can't keep up with anything anymore.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Young me used to be so good about knowing what's going on in the celebrity world but now Ryan Reynolds is divorced?! and remarried!??! and Miley Cyrus is ENGAGED and I do not understand.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I had a moment where I mixed up Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling and was so deeply disappointed/wowed by a combination of such attractiveness.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I kinda LIKE Kate Middleton. She's a fascinating and classy lady, even when topless.
What is it with nipples anyway? It's like "I am wearing a bikini made of floss and pogs!" and that's ok. But "here is my nipples!" and the world goes insane.
@JadedStone I totally like Kate Middleton. She is pretty much fabulous. And yeah, with you on the nipples thing. Or how is it cool to be out in a bikini but not to be out wandering around in our undies?
The mind boggles.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I feel so sorry for her, so horrible to find out to what extent people are watching you like this.
@JadedStone This is dumb workplace gossip, but I went into the bathroom today to find that someone (probably one of the admins) plastered up a couple of signs saying "PLEASE LEAVE THE BATHROOM CLEAN AND FLUSHED FOR THE NEXT PERSON" and now my mind is awhirl with curiosity. I know there are only a few realistic possibilities, but I still like the idea of, like, fingerpaints on the toilet seat or something whimsical like that.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I know, I totally love her. And good for her! If I was able to do so I would be topless all the time. At all the private villas. Though I am not a princess, so I am quite sure no one would care.
@frigwiggin There was a Dan Savage once about this dude who liked to smear his poo all over the walls of random bathroom stalls. Dan was like WTF? NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT. SOMEBODY HAS TO CLEAN THAT.
So that's what I thought of.
OR. That other Dan Savage where this chick figured out that her husband's friend was purposely leaving his pubic hairs on her toilet seat when he came over.
@JadedStone I want you guys to know, this day has been so weird and.. not BAD but just.. GAH. - I am looking forward to jogging on my treadmill. I LOATHE EXERCISE. But I am LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. I am anticipating getting home and putting on my 3 sports bras and puttering away on my new treadmill.
@JadedStone The best run of my life was on the worst workday of my life. Exercise is really awesome for stress.
@JadedStone "Liked to"? Like, for funsies? Or he got something sexual out of it? Hrm.
Also, "purposely"? What, like marking his territory? Or just being a dick? So many questions.
@frigwiggin Both of these were for sex reasons, if I remember correctly (and even if I don't chances are good).
@frigwiggin Yeah, both were sexual kinks.
OH I THOUGHT OF ANOTHER BATHROOM ONE
There was that chick who got off listening to dudes taking a poo. She left a recording device in the bathroom of a local bar, and her bf said it wasn't cool. She argued that since she couldn't see the people and they didn't know it wasn't harming anybody.
Dan was like "You can't unknowingly involve other unsuspecting people into your sex life. no"
@OhMarie @JadedStone Wow. People have very specific kinks sometimes! (Not that I can talk, but still.) I agree with Dan's assessment of that, and it makes me sad that that isn't common sense.
@frigwiggin Ugh, bathrooms! The ladies at my work hover, I think, and consequently pee all over the seat. And do not clean it up. Just - ladies, NO. Do not. You are the problem.
@JadedStone Is this where I talk about everyone being aflutter over the possibility of Ryan Gosling playing Christian in a film adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey? AND HOW THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL. I think teh ladeeez are mistaking his unsanctioned fame via Hey Girl memes as an enthusiasm for being their plaything. Which he does not have. Which means he would not (please, please not) ever be in that movie.
@okaycrochet I hope they use that Ian Somerhalder guy, because I don't give a crap about him. And then Pinterest can shut up about it. (Also his eyebrows kind of frighten me.)
@Queen of Pickles Hoverers are the worst! Just sit on the seat so the seat doesn't get gross! That is what it is for! Hoverers are the reason toilet seats get icky!
@JadedStone once upon a time I had a horrible job that was 25 hours a week. The only good part about it was that I had lots of time to go to the gym. And I'm pretty sure that the only thing that kept me sane during that time was going to the gym five times a week.
@frigwiggin Aw, I love Ian Somerhalder and his terrifying eyebrows, and think he would probably be perfect as Christian Grey, but have zero interest in seeing that actually happen, because ugh, 50 shades of grey.
Also, @olliegrace, re Ryan Gosling ... there are some rumors of bad news out there for the hopeful among us!
@JadedStone Today I had to explain to my mother what Fifty Shades of Grey is; she had never heard of it until yesterday, and when I said, "BDSM," she said, "What?" and the conversation went downhill from there.
@Blushingflwr Earlier this year before I got laid off, my job was so horrible and stressful that I played hooky almost daily to go to the gym and work off the stress. It was a relief to get laid off in early June...and I was in kick-ass shape for summer as an added bonus.
@MrsTeacherFace I had to tell my mom what it was about too! I made a joke, she didn't get it, but she'd heard of the book. So I told her it was about S&M (which she's at least aware of) and she was like, "Ohhhh... well I guess I don't need to read it, then."
Less funny than the time my sister and I had to explain golden showers to her, though. My sweet mom! How did she get to 56 without knowing this stuff? Or, how did I know all this stuff as a teenager?
@MrsTeacherFace My father's extremely conservative, super-Mormon cousin gushed to my Mom (at a funeral/wake!) about what a fabbo book that piece of ick is, and told Mom she ought to read it. I tried to tell her how much she will totally NOT like it, but she didn't believe me. She's in for a shock, oh BOY is she! I know my Mom is quite open-minded, but I *know* this will not turn her crank. She's just being stubborn because *I* told her she wouldn't like it.
The big question is, do I go acquire a copy for her, just so I can say, "I TOLD YOU SO!"? :D
@JadedStone Personally, I enjoy being flushed. It usually means the start of sexxytimes.
@MsChilePepper Who'd posted on here that that book was the most often found left in hotels? Maybe go to a hotel and inquire at their Lost and Found. If nothing else, adventure may result!
@JadedStone just had to give love to my three-sports-bra-wearing sista.
DAMMIT PEOPLE that stupid buttermilk thread made me make biscuits. And now I have so many biscuits. EVERYONE COME OVER.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I saw you post that on Tumblr and I WANT TO SO BAD. I love biscuits.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher WHERE IS MY TARDIS?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I would like to sleep on a bed of biscuits, please. With a sausage pillow and a cover made from a slice of American cheese.
@area@twitter Breakfast in bed, literally.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
I'M BRINGIN' THE GRAVY
@frigwiggin PLEASE DO, I am terrible at gravy. It is a thorn in my side. Someone, anyone, give me your Gravy Secrets.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Hmm. I don't have a ton of fancy gravy tricks, but what I learned from a former roommate was: cook up a pan of sausage, use the drippings and some butter with flour to make a roux, toast the roux for a bit so it doesn't taste floury/takes on a bit of color, add milk and let thicken, add sausage back in, s/p to taste, consume? With maybe onions if you're into that.
(I always super liked the gravy my mom made for our fancy lamb dinners, and recently I found out that all along it was just cream of mushroom soup plus extra mushrooms plus lamb drippings. My mind was blown!)
Now I just want biscuits and gravy for dinner.
@frigwiggin How do you keep the roux from clumping up when you add the milk? That's always my issue.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher WHISK LIKE THE DICKENS.
@anachronistique This thread is proving to be full of the best Hairpin Usernames ever. If I ever change mine, it'll end up being either GRAVY SECRETS or WHISK LIKE THE DICKENS. Or Bed of Biscuits.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher WHISKING LIKE THE DICKENS is definitely good--also add the milk a little bit at a time. Like, at first, just the amount of milk that about equals the amount of roux in the pan, then a little more. If it's a little roux swimming in milk, it'll clump, but equal proportions slowly makes it smoooooooth.
@area@twitter That's an attraction at Disneyworld, right????!
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Heating up the milk will help lots with the clumping. Hot roux and hot liquid is the least likely to clump.
@frigwiggin My secret gravy ingredient is vegemite.
It works wonders.
Because of water main work, the City towed my car to a another residential permit zone, then ticketed me $75 for parking where I didn't have a zone permit. Great job, Chicago!
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll Oh my gosh! Recently my mom came and visited me where you can only park for 2 hours w/o a permit. She parked, we went to lunch, we came back, she moved her car to a spot further down the street....aaannd by dumb (un)luck the tire where the meter maid had chalked was in the same position, so she got a $75 ticket and 2 weeks to write a letter where I'm sure they won't believe her true story. RAGE.
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll Once the city towed my car a few blocks away from where I had parked it so they could plow the snow (Canada) and I didn't find it for two whole days. I was weirdly unconcerned.
Sweetly, in Chicago, there's a webpage where they give you the address of where they put your car!
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll That's helpful! The ticket, though - yeesh. I wouldn't pay that. I hope you don't.
At least the City didn't damage my car in towing it. I've heard that can happen, flat tires mostly. And more than one, so you can't use the spare!
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll There's also a towing company on the northside (I forget which one) who are basically extortionists. They towed my ex-girlfriend's car from a lot she had a permit for and charged her a lot for it. I tried to tell her to fight it but she didn't want the trouble. Talking with others about that proved that this sort of infuriating racket is common in Chicago.
There's even a song about it! I've come to consider this sort of thing a cost of doing business of sorts.
@whizz_dumb Always fight tickets. They thrive on the culture of complacency! God parking in this city is a disaster - I'm almost glad my car got totalled a week before moving here.
C. has already written an appeal letter for us! Now that C. is within spitting distance of her degree from UofC, we're not planning to replace the car if it gets destroyed. And I almost got hard core rear-ended on the Ike last week, so it can happen!
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll Milwaukee once towed every car on my block for violating the posted signs about snow removal. Signs that had not, in fact, been posted. I've never been at a place filled with so much rage -- per capita AND total -- as that impound lot.
@iknowright Was it still on the same block? In my city, you have to actually move it to the next block, or the opposite side of the street on the same block, for it to count.
@whizz_dumb Didn't Roger Ebert write a post on this- that Chicago contracted with some company to "take over" their parking and now they are tied to them for years AND that the companies' not even American-? (If I've imagined all that, that's on 'ell of an Imagine.)
GUYSSSSS! I am turning 30 tomorrow and my boyfriend was supposed to come home today after a 6 week deployment in the Middle East. I was super excited! But he got the word last night that he needs to stay there "indefinitely" for obvious reasons (all non-essential personnel have been evacuated, so there's now a lot of work for few people) and I am glad that he is alive and safe and I feel petty for being sad that he won't be here for my 30th, but I am also pretty sad that he won't be here for my 30th. :( :( :( On the other hand, he is coming home soon and he is safe and my friends are awesome and this is but a minor delay in the homecoming and I am seriously very grateful for all these things...
I just have so many feelings today.
A. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
B. That is so disappointing that he can't come home for your birthday! I don't think it's petty to feel that way at all.
C. Sending good thoughts to him and hoping he stays safe and gets home soon.
D. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN.
@dj pomegranate Aw, I would be really sad, too. It's not petty to be sad! You're not blaming him, you're just bummed and that's natural. BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
@dj pomegranate Also, thank you for sacrificing your time with your boyfriend for the good of the country for all the weeks/months/years you already have, and I hope he is returned to you safe and sound, and soon.
@dj pomegranate Happy birthday to you! All of the feelings are ok! Happy birthday some more!
@dj pomegranate Ack, lady, that does not sound ideal. Internet hugs, if that's what you're into from strangers...
I almost ordered my friend 4 boxes of Pepper Jack Cheez Its because he can't find them where he lives and he loves them. But then I had to go do work at work, so I closed the window, and I was going to order them from Walmart.com, so it's probably better that I didn't.
So that's the present I almost gave?
@nervousrobot those things are so good - like impossibly, unnaturally cheesy. I would be stoked to get some for a present.
BOSTONIANS! I need your help!
My sister is turning 21 next month and will be visiting me shortly thereafter. I figure her friends at school have the keg party/bar crawl end of things covered, so I'd like to take her out for some super fancy cocktails. House-made bitters, seasonal blends, "craft" whatever. Pretending we're classy. Does anybody have recommendations?
Brick & Mortar, Drink, or Eastern Standard!
@Roxanne Rholes All of those. Or Hawthorne. Best idea: you could take her to Hawthorne and then go RIGHT NEXT DOOR to either Island Creek Oyster Bar if that is your jame OR Eastern Standard for dinner and more drinks!
@anachronistique Have you been to Drink? Their "thing" is that they don't have a drink menu; you can just tell them what kinds of things you like and they come up with something. Moksa in Central has really interesting cocktails. But if you really want custom, seasonal, classy cocktails--GREEN STREET in Central. They have a small cocktail list on the bar, but ask for the full list and they basically bring you a binder of cocktails. And I hear the food is really good.
@anachronistique I'll think on it, but my first response is Deep Ellum. Fancy but not pretentious booze, foodie fancy, and Allston seems like the 21-year-old promised land.
@Lustful Cockmonster Good one!
Eastern Standard is a good choice for a 21 y.o. because the drinks are obviously delicious. (I mean, obvious on the menu. these for example, look good but maybe a little scary.)
@SarahP Oh shit, I forgot about Green Street. I better go there soon.
@all You guys are awesome. (Also lushes. But so am I.) Taking notes, will probably investigate thoroughly on my own before she visits!
@anachronistique Let me know if you need company for that! Haha. Always down for fancy drinks.
@anachronistique This place is kind of random, but my boyfriend and I found it on my birthday because we went out too late but wanted to eat. It's called The Franklin Cafe, and it's on Shawmut Avenue in the South End. They have a pretty cool cocktail menu that isn't crazy overpriced, and they also have awesome food/chill vibe. I also like The Beehive a lot in the South End because they have equally fun drinks, but they also have live jazz a lot that's pretty sweet. I co-sign Deep Ellum, and there's also this place in Kenmore called The Lower Depths that has a chill vibe, loud music, and awesome seasonal beers/ciders on tap if you're interested in that kind of thing.
I also agree that Eastern Standard and Island Creek Oyster Bar have great drinks.
Jesus, I drink too much.
@anachronistique Maybe try Cuchi Cuchi in Cambridge? It's a little bonkers (off the wall decorations, themed like a turn-of-the-century New Orleans bordello) but the drinks are FABULOUS. Everything I've ever had there is delicious - they do a lot of drinks with muddled berries and it's just the most luxurious taste in the world.
@anachronistique I second Eastern Standard! Food's quite good, too.
@anachronistique All of the above (my favorites being Green Street and Drink- although Cuchi Cuchi might be perfect for sisterly hangout time). But I've also heard incredible things about Back Bar in Somerville. My new gentleman caller lives out that way and he keeps meaning to take me there.
@anachronistique I love Eastern Standard, but I'm seconding the person who suggested Cuchi Cuchi, because the drinks are awesome and it has a fantastic atmosphere for a birthday party. In fact they'll probably bedeck your sister in a sparkly vintage necklace from their collection for the occasion.
My all-time favorite place for cocktails in Boston is Hungry Mother, but the bar is super small, so it's probably not a good choice if there are more than a few of you.
@anachronistique I've lived outside of Boston my whole life, and I have not been to any of those bars. I am shamefaced. I also need to move to Cambridge ASAP.
@anachronistique Drink is amazing, but a pain in the ass when it's busy (it's tiny), so I would suggest early evening for that one. And Hungry Mother is also kickass and has the added benefit of also having out of this world food. Probably my favorite restaurant in the Boston area.
@anachronistique I was just at Green St last night and the drinks were so good! And so reasonably priced! I think the whole thing depends on what kind of vibe you want. Green Street is pretty divey. I like The Hawthorne for more 'classy.' And I agree with others that Cuchi Cuchi kinda screams birthday.
The last gift I gave someone...I gave my boyfriend a reusable lunchbag with a reusable snack pack and sandwich pouch! Mostly because the pack and pouch were giraffe print. (I bought one for myself too.) I was absurdly excited to start using the sandwich pouches. No more plastic bag waste!
@frigwiggin I'm about to send one of my bff's some coasters as a housewarming gift. So I am all about the functional food and drink related presents!
@frigwiggin Thanks for reminding me to investigate reusable sandwich pouches. And for causing me to wonder, while typing the term into Google, whether "sandwich pouch" might be a weird sex euphemism I've never heard of.
I spent all day at the DMV (though here it is called the BMV which makes me giggle because I am apparently 12.) And I get to do it again tomorrow with Mr. Sour. Hurray! (Most certainly not "hurray.")
@WhiskeySour God jesus I hate that place. I can feel the life being actively sucked from my body every time I have to go there.
@katiemcgillicuddy It actually wasn't that bad, but for the fact that this state requires one to drive to 3+ separate locations to get driving test, license, vehicle inspection, emissions test, title, registration and plates. And they aren't super near one another. I guess on the bright side I'm learning how to get around the city?
(I also turn on the "aggressively friendly and good natured" thing. That helps a bit sometimes.)
@WhiskeySour Oh man you just reminded me that my license expires in 6 days. Shoot. Well, thanks for reminding me... that I have to go to the DMV....
Bowel movement, verily.
Bowels moving, vamonos!
Big mangy vagina (yes).
@WhiskeySour Wait what does BMV stand for cuz my favourite used bookstore is called BMV and I'm pretty sure that just means Books Music Videos!!
@Megano! I laugh because going to the BMV (Bureau of Motor Vehicles) is a huge pain in the ass and so I find it funny as "BM" can mean bowel movement. As I said above, I'm apparently 12.
@WhiskeySour It's OK, I snicker every time I watch ESPN and they talk about Albert Pujols. Because I'm also 12.
*briefly remembers Spanish class*
His name is NOT POO-HOLES.
It cannot be.
@Bittersweet Oh lord, don't get me started on Pujols. I just mutter it under my breath and giggle every time he comes up to bat. Then I say it to my husband about 80 times, which he does not find especially funny, even the first time.* But I can't stop!
* He is a pretty good sport about it, though.
Ahhhh I got my first smartphone this week! And two days later I got my first random dick pic! And when I pointed out I didn't know him, he said 'well who the hell r u then??' and when I bitched at him his response was 'haha srry for showing u my dick then.'
Stay clsssy, creepers
@The Lady of Shalott My phone is dying and I'm thinking of getting a smartphone... hopefully with slightly different results.
@The Lady of Shalott I feel like phone companies recycling old phone numbers is the worst possible idea ever just because of stuff like that. When I first got my smartphone the number that came with it was apparently the only number someone at the state penitentiary had memorized so they kept using their phone time calling my phone collect. O_o
@Scandyhoovian I once had a phone number that kept getting texts from someone who'd set their Google calendar to text it about upcoming football games. So every Sunday I'd get a text reminding me about the Packers' game later that day.
@Scandyhoovian - for about a year I was getting booty calls from several Chicago numbers (I am not in Chicago). "So girl... I was just... thinking about those fun times we had... so, uh... you know, you should give me a call if you... uh... want to... get together." Um, thanks?
@The Lady of Shalott The dick pic is largely a phenomenon I do not understand. Perhaps other ladies are actually very interested in seeing lots of penis, and I am underestimating my queerness? But every time, I have to fight back the urge to be like "why?!? Why would you think I would want to see that?".
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily) No. It is not because of your queerness. I have never ever met a lady who was all YEA, LET'S LOOK AT SOME DICKS NOT ATTACHED TO ANYTHING. I don't know about gay dudes. Maybe they're all over it. But I have never ever EVER understood it and never met a girl who was going "ooooh check out THAT disembodied dick hanging out of someone's pants in their office."
It is not sexy!!!! I think dudes feel it is like an unsolicited boob pic--because boobs are pretty and attractive all by themselves, and most dudes would be all "hey cool, random boob picture!" and they think that dicks are the same way.
@The Lady of Shalott Now I feel kinda sad that I've never gotten random dick pics on my smartphone, and I've had it nearly two years! *sad trombone*
Has everybody sent out their CDs to their swap partners? Or at least have a plan to do it? I'm giving all y'all shirkers the hairy eyeball! (Only a little bit of one, because I know accidents/forgetfulness happen, but still. Get your butts in gear!)
@frigwiggin I FINALLY bought a CD-R today! (When it was safe to go into an office supply store without losing a limb.)
@frigwiggin Oh, no! I forgot. But I'm working on a mix CD for a crazy work exchange, so I will be on it!
@frigwiggin After an embarrassing delay, mine's all prepped!
@anachronistique @meetapossum @nowwhat
Good, get those CDs out there! I forgot to last week, but when I get home I'll send out a reminder email to everybody. I don't want anyone to get left without a CD!
Also, I completely coincidentally paired up two people who live down the street from each other, so there's that. Kismet!
@frigwiggin I have shirked... But i have planned a theme and am now just have to refine my song choices!
What is the plan for penalties for partners WHO DON'T SEND A CD BACK?
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll
That remains to be determined. At the very least banishment from further participation, although that's not very terrible. But I mostly want to encourage people to send them out, even if it takes a long time! Don't get embarrassed if you dawdle, just suck it up and get it out!
Also, if multiple months go along and people don't have theirs, I will take it upon myself to send them one so at least they get something.
@frigwiggin I have my mix cd made, I just couldn't find any padded envelopes my last few days in Dublin BUT I am sending it on from my new address this weekend!
If you are my lovely mix cd partner from MA who sent me a sweet card - major apologies for my delay and silence, but you will get yours soon! Also, my address is different - you can still use the old one because its my parents house, but I might email frigwiggin with my updated one as well!
@frigwiggin This weekend!! Promise!
I was thinking wet willies or something along those lines...
@frigwiggin Wait! What is this? Did I miss this announcement somewhere? I sent my PinPal a letter back in June and never heard back so I am lonely with no one to mail things to! Is it too late to join this?
@Decca Yes, email me your updated one and I'll send it along! Best to be redundant and make it as easy as possible for your partner to get you the CD.
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll Well, I do have all their addresses now...
@captain mal Oh, I put out a call for people wanting mix CD partners the last...four FOTs or so? I was going to close it off after last week because interest was dying down, but if anybody's interested, email me at figwiggin [at] gmail [dot] com with your address, whether you can ship internationally, and any info about your music interests you want to include, and I'll hook you up! (Although if I get an odd number of emails you may end up with me as your swap partner, just so you know.)
@frigwiggin I'm totally working on my friendship bracelets! Supplies purchased, etc! But I WANT THEM TO BE PERFECCCT and i can only do one at a time, and and baseball playoffs are consuming my weekends BUT I promise to all that I am working on them!
@frigwiggin Thanks so much! Will e-mail you now. Sorry I'm so late to the game!
@frigwiggin they are sitting on a box to send to England, by my door, and I will post them before MUD RUNNING LIKE HELL tomorrow, I promise.
@PistolPackinMama YOU RUN THE HELL OUT OF THAT MUD
@PistolPackinMama YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL SO GOOD WHEN YOU FINISH, AND YOU WILL STILL LOOK LIKE SOMEONE MUGGED YOU A WEEK LATER. Seriously mama, have fun! (I am still like, on-fire-stoked from doing it :))
@frigwiggin I have my CD burnt and a card written, I just have to get myself to the post office! Monday morn, I AM DOING IT. Sorry for being so late, pin-mix-buddy!
@frigwiggin I burned the CD yesterday and am mailing it tomorrow. I feel extra bad because I sent my partner a letter saying I'd send it last weekend...
@Decca I'm your partner and you should totally send me your new address via frigwiggin. I did not realize until just now that when you wrote "Real Name [Decca]" in your address, Decca was your commenter name. I thought it must be a nickname or some sort of mysterious postal thing, which was silly since I've seen your comments around before.
I'm gonna do it, I swear! I just got back from my London trip. Pinpal buddy, stay strong--the cd is on its way.
Things went absolutely nutballs this week at work, and smack dab in the middle of it I got a call from HR. I got the job I was hoping for. Getting an official offer early next week. FUCK YEAH. (And then I texted my parents. who are lovely but not given to much sentiment, and my mom was like, "I'm really proud of you for working to make this happen". MOM. ::sniff::)
SO. How should I celebrate?!
@area@twitter BOOZE AND SHOPPING.
@area@twitter YES! All the congratulations to you. Celebrate with cocktails? That is my favorite way to celebrate things.
@area@twitter CONGRATULATIONS!!! I concur with the above re: cocktail celebration.
@all ahhh, thank you! Cocktails and shopping sound pretty great. I have a couple of Sephora gift cards I haven't used yet...
@area@twitter Yes! Booze, shopping. Buy some great new workclothes! Get a fancy cocktail and drink it at a hotel bar, where it's nice and quiet and elegant, and think, "This... is my LIFE."
Very dramatically. That's important.
@area@twitter Grab a friend or SO and get a bottle of sparkly wine! I am not fancy but I like to feel like I am, and a bottle of sparkling wine just feels so celebratory. I'd say I do this like 3 times a year--if somebody I know gets a promotion or a bonus or a sweet new job. I usually just get something cheap, like a prosecco, that my liquor store has in the fridge. Fun! Bonus points if you can buy two real champagne glasses at a Goodwill or something, but regular glasses work fine.
I like how much our various responses say about ourselves :)
(There I am more concerned with documenting human behavior than remembering to say the nice thing I wanted to say.)
@OhMarie I read yours as "Spanking wine"... Also, All the Congratulations@area.
I just had a fantasy- what if every Hairpin account linked to an account that we could load up with monies. One dollar from one hundred well-wishers= actual boozies.
Monetize this, Internets!!
If you live in Baltimore and like board games, you should come to the Brews and Board Games Happy Hour at the Windup Space in Station North. It is the last Tuesday of every month from 6-9 PM. It's a bit early, but you can bring food in with you or order food to be delivered to the bar if you're worried about fitting dinner in.
Here's information about this month's happy hour
@mustelid WHAT, I will totally come to that!!! My in-laws are big into a Maryland board games club, and when we went we were the youngest people there by a significant margin and also the least socially awkward by an EXTREME margin. Which is fine, but makes for a lot of unreasonably long turns that no amount of subtle hinting can correct.
On the other hand, this sounds delightful.
@mustelid Aw, I'll have a class at work that night, but it seems like a lot of fun.
@mustelid: I am very intrigued! What kind of board games?
It's been too long since I've been to Windup..
@OhMarie Yep, this skews more to a 20s-30s crowd. Also, alcohol is always a good way to a) be less awkward, and b) have a little more courage to be like "yo, you gonna finish your turn today?"
@frenz.lo We do it the last Tuesday of every month, so even though you can't make it this month you should totally come another month if you can!
@RK Fire All sorts, classic and contemporary. If you want some name drops, I'll be bringing Dominion (base game, Prosperity, Alchemy, and Dark Ages), Scrabble, Boggle, Bang!, Bananagrams, Liebrary, Bohnanza, Set, Fluxx, Gloom, and possibly some others that are escaping me at the moment. I don't know all of what my co-host is bringing, but I know he has Settlers of Catan and Ticket to Ride. You're also more than welcome to bring your own games if you have something you wanna play. OH and there's a ping pong table at Windup now?
ANYWAY PLEASE COME BRING YOUR FRIENDS EEEE
@RK Fire Also Chris Merriam says he will be there. We can get him to introduce us, hahaha.
I had a great week! I went out with a group of friends and made plans to do so again next month (I am kind of a homebody, so this is a Big Deal for me). And I got a stipend to spend a week in Ireland in March, so now I just have to come with money for a flight. And last night I splurged and got internet installed at my house, so I can actually do things like research my term paper or watch The West Wing marathons from the comfort of my couch.
In other news, I was debating getting a dark blue/turquoise streak on the underside of my hair. I tend to wear it in a ponytail/bun most days, with the occasional braid, but I have a feeling I'll wear it down more now that cooler weather is coming. Any tips, thoughts, suggestions? Probably not a DIY over-the-sink project, since I can't see the underside of the back of my head, right?
@backstagebethy I am interested in the streak idea, my hair is so dark though and i am unsure about bleaching...
I would have thought even if you wear your hair down it would still show, depends on exactly where you streak and what colour your hair is!
@backstagebethy Hooray! Many congratulations!
You could do it over the sink with a friend to help you if you don't want to go to a salon (who may well bitch at you about your choice of dye etc), but definitely don't try to do the back of your own head yourself, it could go really strange.
@backstagebethy Yay for West Wing marathons! I just completed one myself and then today I was standing in line at the liquor store behind the actress who plays Donna. It was surreal.
@backstagebethy I have blue and pink streaks underneath the rest of my hair - I went to my hairdresser and got her to bleach the streaks in, then used Directions at home to put in the colours. It's ace, but tends to demand a lot of upkeep.
@laserbeams ahhh, I did not think about upkeep. I don't even blow dry my hair, so this might not be a good plan for me. But I like that idea, of getting the bleach done at the salon & doing the color myself.
There are incipient presents in my living room right now - I got a fancy set of stamps awhile ago and have been making little signs and cards. They're all pretty smudgy and mis-aligned and not really fit to give anyone yet, but I am improving.
OOH, Hairpin, guess what I had this week? A BOURBON RICE KRISPY TREAT. Y'all, I don't even LIKE bourbon that much, and this thing was amazing. Everyone go make them.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Whaaaat. I DO like bourbon that much and think I would love this.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher LIQUOR IN RICE KRISPY TREATS!? I'm on it.
Whaaa...?! That sounds amazeballs. I haven't had a rice krispy treat in forever, and bourbon is always a good thing!
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher HOW DO YOU DO THAT? Do you just...pour bourbon...into the pot?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I need this recipe. I need it because of reasons.
I'm planning on making red velvet cupcakes with bourbon caramel cream cheese frosting this weekend, so bourbon rice krispies will pair nicely.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher: Did you put bourbon salt on them?!
@abetterfate I feel like you could just put the bourbon in when you melt the marshmallows and butter and stuff, and then proceed as normal? Unfortunately I don't know for sure, as I purchased it a store. GO EXPERIMENT, EVERYONE. And then report back.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Um...
I might have had a snackgasm, right here at my desk in the Theology Dept.
(I am not a theologian)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Based on some googling, it looks like you mix about 2 Tbsp. bourbon in after everything's melted, and otherwise proceed as normal. YUM.
@hulia So it doesn't get cooked out, per se. That would explain why I was slightly buzzed after lunch. Whoopsie, sorry work.
What fun things have people done to their hair lately? My friend helped me dye mine ombre pink! (See, I turned it into a question so it's not just me bragging about my hair.)
@frigwiggin I'm going to my parents' house today, and I was hoping to get my hair cut tomorrow, but the girl who does my hair is going on vacation. I don't know what to do about this mane :(
I did re-dye it auburn recently, though, so there's that.
ETA: That color is amazing!
@frigwiggin Got a bob after having long here for my entire hair-having life! I LOVE IT!
@frigwiggin Is that your hair?! It is so pretty!
@frigwiggin I took my life in my hands and went to the local Great Clips to get mine cut last weekend. It turned out OK! I wouldn't go there for anything complex, but for a basic shoulder-length look with layers, they did a pretty good job.
@frigwiggin waiting for bangs to grow out, but really longing for a pixie... I should just do it. But maybe I might wait until spring.
@frigwiggin I'm going to see my barber tomorrow. I'm bored with my hair, but unsure what route to take.
@frigwiggin Nothing yet, but tonight I'm dyeing it three different colours! (as asked about in last week's FOT)
Hooray for good haircuts!
@oh! valencia Yeah, do it! If it's just a pixie your head won't be too cold. (I kind of want to get another buzz cut when the pink grows out but that is a dumb idea and my head will get frostbite.)
It is, thank you very much!
@dale WHAT THREE COLORS??? I missed most of last week's FOT so I am uninformed.
@frigwiggin I was gonna do mine minty green for a big event this weekend but I ended up not having the time/money to bleach my (thick, oily, non-porous) hair enough for the pastel to look good. So it's just two-tone (see Lady Gaga in that Edge of Glory video).
That pink looks so BEYOOTIFUL <3
@frigwiggin Love the pink! Here is my question: is it "ombre," pronounced ahm-bruh, or "ombré," pronounced ahm-bray? Both make sense to me linguistically, but I don't want to look like an unfashionable idiot.
@miss buenos aires That is...a good question! I mentally say "AHM-bray" but that is probably at least somewhat incorrect, especially if there's supposed to be an accent.
@frigwiggin I wanted to do autumnal colours. I couldn't figure out which colours to do, I mean, 3 shades of orange and red are not going to be different enough. So I settled on a dark golden blonde (for the top), a mid-range auburn (for the middle layer), and a warm red-brown (for the bottom). I promise to post a picture when done - though might be more sensible to post it next week, rather than when everyone's gone from here tonight.
@frigwiggin I have curly hair and a huge forehead, and stylists are always reluctant to give me bangs, so I lie and tell them that I will totally straighten the bangs every day. I don't! I barely even know how! It looks cute and only occasionally insane!
@frigwiggin I henna'd my hair this week! I only do it a couple times a year because it's so messy. My hair's dark, so it doesn't really show up except as highlights if I'm in direct sunlight, but it leaves my hair feeling so awesome and healthy for at least a week afterwards.
@dale Well, if you don't show it off tonight I'll try to remember to look for it next week!
@OhMarie Good for you! Curly bangs are cute.
@SarahP I think about henna sometimes, it's probably so much nicer for my hair than the bleach and the Special Effects. Maybe after the pink grows out!
@frigwiggin I successfully curled my hair with a straightening iron, and trimmed my bangs into short indie bangs!!
@frigwiggin The pink is great! I buzzed the back. Even more than usual!
@slutberry Yay for you! I have never cut my own hair and the prospect alarms me, so I am impressed by anybody who can and does.
@yeah-elle LOVE IT. I love seeing it, I love having it. Petting it is so much fun! (I mean, on myself. I don't pet other people's heads without permission.)
@yeah-elle that pic................. might have got me all hot and bothered. A little.
@frigwiggin Haha, yes! I keep fondling the back of my neck and telling my close friends, "Feeeeeeel it!"
@frigwiggin Very nice! I am thinking about dying a strand of my hair pink or red, but I already dye all my hair (regular colors), so I'm concerned about the upkeep. Either I'd have to redye ALL of my hair a lot more (and not just the roots), or be really really good about separating which hairs where pink/red hairs and which hairs were brown hairs.
Also, I'm trying to decide if I should get my bangs trimmed or let them grow out. They're cute, but if I keep them, I really need to learn how to trim them myself, because they spend 80% of their current in-between-cut times looking less than adorbs.
@frigwiggin I over toned it and now it's kind of silver. WAH.
I am in the "less than two months to go" stage of wedding planning and it has occurred to me that I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT JEWELRY. As in, the hell am I wearing around my own neck!? I have a strapless dress and my hair will be up so I have room for a great statement piece, a real eye-catcher, and I just... have no idea where to look for such a thing, since I usually wear like, a silver chain with a pendant on it and some small hoop earrings and really that's it. Every day for my whole life. My colors are black/grey/clover green and I'm up for all kiiiinds of suggestions, so... help? Please?
(Also, I'm convinced Kate Middleton is an animated Disney princess come to life. Like in 'Enchanted,' minus the singing. At least thus far.)
@Scandyhoovian What about gray pearls and/or emeralds (or both)? Or something like this http://www.cooljools.com/IMAGES8/CinerGrayPearls6.jpg
@Scandyhoovian GET THEE TO AN ETSY. Or, rather, let me find you an Etsy. Give me ten minutes and I'll be back with THINGS.
@Scandyhoovian (I agree with your assertion re: Princess Kate.)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher There is so MUCH on the Etsy! I've been trawling for what seems like years. On the upside, I HAVE found my bridesmaids' gifts...
@backstagebethy ohhh emeralds would make my eyes get all starry and cartoonishly large. Also, that one you linked looks lovely, though a *leetle* heavier than I think I'd want (looks-wise, not necessarily weight).
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Is there a website that's like Etsy but with more formal pieces? I love Etsy for cute, fun pieces and statement cocktail-y pieces, but it's letting me down on black tie appropriate jewelry.
@TheclaAndTheSeals I haven't heard of anything like that--I've run into higher-end things on Etsy, but I don't know of a way to search for them specifically.
@Scandyhoovian you are me, 6 months ago! I searched the ENTIRE internet. Your only hope is to go into every single shop that exists. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you. Googling 'statement necklace' gets you nowhere.
There's a really beautiful, unusual necklace of glass bubbles at the MOMA store, available on-line as well as in NYC. It would be gorgeous with a white wedding gown (or even a colored wedding gown)!
Hmmmmm. I put the world's biggest, link-y est post up here, and I can see it, but I am beginning to have my doubts that anyone else can, especially considering that @hulia put one up that I can see in my email but not here. What gives, Hairpin?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Weird! I don't see the linky one. (And I wanted to, because I obviously enjoy internet searching for jewelry!)
@hulia I think we broke the 'Pin. :(
@Scandyhoovian My favorite gem that would work with those colors would be emerald but if you want something a little different what about a necklace with malachite in it? Something like a silver band with a piece of malachite hanging from the center. Sadly all the images I can find of malachite necklaces are a little chintzy looking but I'm sure a jewelry store might have something nicer. Jade could maybe work too. Here is a nice emerald one.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I saw your huge linky post in my emails! I opened every single link in my phone and oohed and aahed over them. I quite liked the heavy-looking emerald one.
AND THE BUBBLY MOMA NECKLACE YOU GUYS YOU GUYS IT'S BUBBLES FOR YOUR NECK AAAAAH
I also like that emerald one, @Sea Ermine! It's so pretty. And a little simpler than some of the stuff I've seen recently but for whatever reason, it's really sort of hitting the spot. Maybe I am destined for a simpler-but-still-statementy piece.
Also there is a big little just-right sized part of me that kind of wants pearls. Like... I'm not sure why. I've been in the South a long time, maybe I've been influenced by that old stereotype about having a nice set of pearls or something.
My tailor called. My three-piece velvet suit is ready.
This is my life now.
@Reginal T. Squirge Get in MY life now.
@Reginal T. Squirge: Photos.
@Reginal T. Squirge Tell me there is a hat involved. Please.
I don't do hats because only douchebags wear them these days and I don't want to get thrown in with them. Also, I have a gigantic head.
And if you're all really, really nice between now and the first time I wear it, I might post a photo link (but probably not because that's weird).
@Reginal T. Squirge oh that sounds so Wilde!
I was inspired by Christopher Plummer at last year's Oscars. Then I found one in my size on ebay and said, "Fuck it. We're doing this now."
Also, I'm apparently the kind of dude that types "velvet suit" into the search box at ebay.
@Reginal T. Squirge My family has GIGANTIC heads. Apparently sized to fit insufferable amounts of useless knowledge and lyrics to TV show theme songs. But seriously, my bro can't even wear baseball hats ahahahahaha.
@Reginal T. Squirge - Pics or it didn't happen.
@Reginal T. Squirge WHAT COLOR?! this is clearly the most important part
Dark brown. Aside from the Christopher Plummer thing, a Nas magazine cover was the original inspiration, years ago.
Mine is darker and doesn't have peak lapels.
@Reginal T. Squirge That picture helps, but I am still skeptical about this look.
Trust me on this. I know what I'm doing.
Is anyone else inundated with weddings that aren't your own this season?
@whizz_dumb Yes, if this season includes summer. I had four weddings to attend this summer. Friends are in similar situations. Is there something in the water?
@whizz_dumb Yes... my own and then two others in the weeks immediately before it. My life through November is a solid wall of weddings or showers or bachelorette parties every weekend. But at least I get to end it with a honeymoon escape from the real world?
@whizz_dumb Weddings, weddings-to-be, and babies. ALL OF IT.
@whizz_dumb WHO NEEDS A PLUS ONE?? I want to go to all your friends' weddings and drink too much and slurringly serenade the happy couple with jazz standards. My friends are all eternally single and I want so much to put on a fancy dress and go to their nonexistent weddings.
Two years ago, I declared a boycott on weddings that require air travel. Since then, I haven't been invited to a one! Just like carrying a condom in your purse, I guess, except the outcome is good!
(Unless everyone has secretly come to hate me...)
Jesus H. Tapdancin' Christ with the weddings. I have to go to three in Michigan between December and July.
@Reginal T. Squirge I had to cancel on a long-time friend's that is in Louisville this weekend because I've flown to two others and can't afford the plane tickets anymore. A line must be drawn, luckily he was understanding. There's one more local wedding coming up. On the plus side, I now have a plain black suit that fits well for any and every occasion.
These assholes keep planning bachelor parties months before the wedding, too and then acting like I'm lame for not buying plane tickets in order to attend everything.
Seriously, fuck all of you and all of your weddings.
@whizz_dumb The one I'm officiating is next weekend! The ceremony has been written, the brides have approved, it is on!
The only question mark I still have is about the rehearsal. Apparently as the officiant I run that, and I'm feeling pretty "I got this" in general, but I've never been to a wedding rehearsal. If anyone has suggestions that would be ever so lovely!
@Reginal T. Squirge
yes. fuck them all to hell.
'cept my gay cousins from back home. those ones are just too cute.
So, anybody wanna talk hummus?
@whizz_dumb olives olives olives!
@katiemcgillicuddy I had black bean with chipotle harissa earler this week, which may be more of a bean dip than a hummus, but it was darn good. Usually artichoke is my jam (spread, actually)
@katiemcgillicuddy +extra tahini
I've eaten like 3 bags of carrots and 2 tubs of hummus this week. I tell myself I can eat as much as I want because it's healthy.
If you're eating it with carrots, definitely! Don't hold back--I wouldn't!
Don't tell melis.
@katiemcgillicuddy Trader Joe's tomato & basil. Felt like it was gone in minutes.
Is this a veiled attempt to conjure @evil melis?
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak How dare you suggest such a thing. I'd never.
@ayo nicole not a hummus, but have you tried the TJ's spinach, kale and greek yogurt dip? Hooooly crap, if i hadn't read the package, I would not have believed that was good for me.
@katiemcgillicuddy Abraham's! Their baba ghanoush actually, which I consider to be in the hummus family
@bocadelperro WUUUUUT I'm adding that to my grocery list this weekend without a doubt. Thanks for the tip!
@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak Ia! Ia! Melis Fhtagn!
I got a job interview with a job I actually kind of really want and think I would be good at. BUT: it's a "preliminary" group interview (ugh), that lasts two hours (double ugh), in the morning during work. And I've had a bunch of doctor's appointments lately, so I feel like my boss will be extra annoyed if I take three hours off work for "another one." What do I do!?!?
@terrific If it's a dream job, risk the annoyance. If your boss gets annoyed about appointments, I'd say a group interview is too early to come clean about the job hunt.
@terrific Mmmm...I would either call in sick or just say, "This is the last of my drs appts, I promised" or mumble something about "follow up tests"? Maybe if you stay late the previous night to show that you are Working Hard? I think that is what I would do.
@TheLetterL It's not a dream job per se -- it could be, I don't know enough about it yet. It would almost certainly be better than the job I have now, though. I thiiiink it's worth figuring something out, though.
@terrific Sounds good enough to me! Are you dead set on pretending it's a doctor's appointment? Do you have personal time (aka "None of your boss's business" time) that you could use? A vacation day?
Hey guys look what I found: Instructions for making a drink dispenser/keg out of a pumpkin hello halloween party!
@bocadelperro Is anyone else excited for fall? I got to wear my favorite corduroy skirt and jeans jacket today! It's finally cooling off here!
@bocadelperro YES! I can't wait for pumpkiny spicy apple-y things to start appearing in mah kitchen.
@bocadelperro I'm so excited for fall - wearing all the layers, putting on makeup without worrying about it sweating off. Good stuff.
@LolaLaBalc I have such a love/hate relationship with fall spicy things. On the one hand, I love apple pie (and make a helluva good one, everyone says) and pumpkin pie, etc. On the other hand, it's damn annoying to go to the coffee shop/out to a restaurant/to safeway's deli and have EVERYTHING be pumpkin flavored. So I made this the other day: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3qv4nr/
@bocadelperro Yes! I am very much enjoying looking at boots and berry coloured clothes. Also, been breaking out the fingerless gloves in the morning this week. England! 8 degrees at 8am, 23 at 4pm.
@bocadelperro I am excited for fall and for Halloween; I just realized today that now that we have a house, we will have adorable little Trick'or'Treaters! Wanna scare 'em. :D
YOU GUYS! Somebody might actually want to PAY me to write about recipes/food for them! Hooray!
Also, I think the last present I gave was A Streetcar Named Desire tickets to my mom for her 60th. That sounds right.
@Lustful Cockmonster Recipes by a lustful cockmonster sound like win to me!
The most recent present I gave someone (a baby) was striped legwarmers. They are so cute!
And can I also say: Holy cow you guys, this week. Within the last week I was approached by an honest to goodness HEAD-HUNTER for an honest to goodness ideal position for me, interviewed (twice) for said position, was offered the job AND gave notice at my current job. EGADS! And I wasn't even looking. I actually really love my current job (And totally cried when I gave notice - ugh), but this new one can give me benefits/more hours/better pay.
I AM SO EXCITED!
@BucketsOfCool I didn't even know this was a thing that could happen in the real world! Congrats!
@dj pomegranate Right?! The only reason I even met with the guy was because it felt like I was in a movie and figured it'd at least make for a great story. Plus, free coffee.
@BucketsOfCool also: striped legwarmers!
@BucketsOfCool I am evenly split between jealousy and being super excited for you.
That's a lie, it's more like 70/30 excited/jealous. Congratulations!
So I'm delurking (sort of) to ask for advice or good juju from all you wonderful Pinners.
I've been feeling really, really low the past couple of weeks; just anger and sadness cycling over and over again. I'll get upset with someone for whatever irrational reason and then feel like an asshole for being such a rage monster. I just ... kind of hate everybody, including myself.
The Mister is convinced I need to have a steak and go kayaking or for a run or something to get my endorphin and chronically low iron levels back up to human level, but I don't know. I'm at the point where I'm about to try anything because I feel like a walking raw nerve. Blech.
@abetterfate I struggled with depression forever, still do, so I can offer you some solidarity and I can offer this. Running does so much for me. I don't know if you run, but if you don't, maybe think about it. When you first start out, it can be hard to get into it and to motivate yourself, but once you form the habit you kind of want to run...even when you don't want to run. It's essentially the equivalent of meditation for me, and you get out a lot of that bad energy (physical, mental, and emotional). I hope you feel better! :) (Also, I eat Flintstones vitamins for iron and they are delicious)
@abetterfate is there something that you like doing that you haven't done recently because of this mood? Are there errands that you've been putting off? When I get like that, sometimes I just have to DO something, and take charge. And the feeling of doing something, anything helps me immensely. If I've stopped going to yoga, I'll go to a class. I won't think it'll help and I'll think that the class will be terrible, but after that first one, I'll feel a smidge better and go again the next day. And it makes me feel a better again. It doesn't have to be yoga, just whatever your activity is. Since feeling like I've done something helps me, sometimes I'll bake run dumb errands that I've been putting off or bake something. Now that's just how I deal with my rage monster, maybe it can help with yours?
Also it's worth mentioning that talking to a professional is always an option. I can't speak about that but I know others might be able to comment.
Hope you feel better!
@abetterfate So sorry you feel this way. It sucks utterly and can be such a life-suck. This is how I felt all summer, and I didn't know if it was life changes or hormones or what, but regardless of cause, it is horrible. It's totally worth going to a doctor or counselor if you feel like talking to someone impartial about it, and there is nothing wrong with getting some meds either. I had to because I was turning into a rage monster at my husband for seemingly irrational reasons and I didn't feel like myself at all. I started getting anti-anxiety meds, which did actually help a lot.
In the meantime, maybe your bf is right for short-term solutions- do something physical you enjoy, go on walks, and do things that make you smile- that sounds sort of trite, but my very trusted informal psychologist/best friend gave me some ideas for helping these feelings while I look for an actual counselor that I like. One idea she said was to take the time to just write whatever you're feeling, unedited. She said one is less likely to feel like you have to work over all these feelings in your head on repeat once you feel a bit of closure from writing them down for the day. Another thing that helped for me was to try and figure out at least one thing that was setting me off, and getting me on a bad foot for the day. EX: Basically, I have a ton of trouble sleeping, and seasonal light changes wake me up early, blah blah, blah, so I bought myself a really nice silk sleep mask. It's just a little thing, but it made me sleep better, which helped lessen the rage and worn-down tiredness I was feeling.
I know these are superficial ideas from someone on the Internet, but I truly hope you can find a way to feel better. People are pulling for you!
@abetterfate Seconding the running and the therapy. Therapy plus drugs various drugs plus running actually did nothing for me for months on end (or, at best, left me numb), but then I moved and got a therapist who isn't a robot and actually has empathy and human emotions. Now it works better. I can't say I'm all better, but there's improvement.
Also, if you can, please know that this is something that's happening *to* you, not something you are or are doing. And if kayaking or whatever isn't a magic bullet, that's just an outside thing failing to happen, NOT a failure to do kayaking (or running, or therapy, or steak, or meditation, etc) right.
@abetterfate I'm sorry, that sounds shitty. ::hugs:: Iron (via steak) and exercise sound like they might be a good first step. I've dealt with depression for years and I know it kicks in for me when I'm low on energy. Give yourself a little time to recoup and heal up and watch some silly TV in the meantime. And if you can, try and cut yourself a break. Snapping at someone and being frustrated with the world are things that just happen to all of us sometimes! Doing that doesn't make you an asshole or a rage monster, it makes you human.
And if things don't get better in a few days, have a chat with your doctor- he or she can maybe start helping you figure out ways to start feeling better. You shouldn't have to keep feeling bad.
@abetterfate Also I'm upvoting your comment to give you good juju, not because I'm happy about you feeling low.
@abetterfate I also recommend exercise, and PROTEIN, and omega 3s. They make strawberry DHA, so you can burp strawberry instead of fish oil. It's better at least. Vitamin D helps in the winter.
@abetterfate Try a few things, possibly in combination? Go for a run, get some delicious (and good for you) food after, and then go find a puppy to play with, perhaps. Also, don't discount talking to a pro about the possibility of prescribed things!
Lots of good thoughts headed your way. I have been there. It is awful.
@abetterfate Aw... I am sorry. Your hugsband has sound advice. And check in with a pro. If it's not getting better, they might have ideas.
@abetterfate I totally sympathize. I would also get on board with exercise - it's pulled me out of dark holes before.
Several other things, also vital (for me):
1. Cut down on sugar - or eat other stuff as well as it.
2. Drink lots of water.
3. Go to bed/get up at the same time.
If I do all of those things, and exercise, I can change my headspace drastically.
Seconded on everything your wise husband suggests -- whenever I've been there myself, it's largely because I'm not getting enough iron, protein, and exercise.
Or there's someone I really need to punch. ;)
@all Thank you, everyone, for the advice and solidarity. :)
I do have a history of depression and anxiety and I'm finally accepting that I can't continue to struggle along alone, and need to cowboy up and see a therapist already. Which is ridiculously scary and daunting and nervewracking all on its own. I'm going to call my insurance carrier tonight (putting it in writing on the internet so I can't flake out on myself again) and carving out some time this weekend to buy vitamins and get some exercise outside.
Thanks again, Pinners. <3
@Cawendaw HEY! Cawendaw! Where have you been, bromie (bro homie)? I have missed you!
@abetterfate Girl, I'm glad you're calling your insurance carrier tonight, and I think it's a great idea to attack this in small steps. That will make it seem a lot more achievable. Good luck!
@abetterfate Did you call your insurance carrier? What did they say? (This is The Interwebs holding you accountable!)
I hope you're feeling a bit better today! If the weather where you are is even half as nice as the weather here, it's going to be a gorgeous weekend to be outside.
@wee_ramekin Awww, I missed you too! And I'm actually really flattered you remember me!
I was gone because I spent several months really depressed, and quitting the 'Pin was one of many things I did to punish myself for my perceived sins. So naturally, being back is an important step in my recovery (although admittedly, another important step may be getting a job that allows me no time to comment, so I'm not sure how long I'll be on top of the threads).
By the way, another thing I did to punish myself? Read Jezebel.
Fight depression: quit Jez.
@Cawendaw Man, that sucks that your Black Dog took you away from us for so long, but I am *really* happy that things have changed for you and that you're back. And of course I remember you! I bet a lot of us do. Your comments were always funny and kind, and I definitely noticed when you left. Hope you're around for a while, and let us know if depression starts to menace you again. We'll try to help keep it at bay :).
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher ha, the plan worked! I couldn't make an appointment online, but I have 3 reminder alarms set for Monday morning to call in.
The weather's been super-nice here, too! I made The Mister go kayaking with me yesterday afternoon (I refuse to go alone; I have a terrible sense of direction, so I 'd probably make a wrong turn while searching for otters and end up adrift in the ocean), and last night I threw on my freakum dress and stripper heels and went out.
Really, I'm doing anything to keep myself busy so I won't be forced to be alone with my own thoughts.
Lllladies! Humanities grad students! What do you say to someone who is in the midst of the whole "should I go to grad school"/"am I passing by opportunities in my life" freakout spiral? I'm trying for the THIRD week to write my bestie a letter regarding all this, and all I have is "please do not sink yourself into debt to get higher education. My husband's entire cohort tells me this is The Worst Idea."
Being a friend was so much easier when we were twelve and all we did was go to Girl Scout camp and talk about Redwall. Grown up relationships: so hard!
@VolcanoMouse History PhD here. There was a great chronicle article about this earlier this week: http://chronicle.com/article/Encourage-but-Terrify/134186/
I am a big fan of sending people articles because it brings the bad news from a third party. There's also Alan Megill's "guidelines for work in intellectual history", which are broadly applicable to most humanities fields: http://people.virginia.edu/~adm9e/grad/grad.htm . This is what I usually send to starry-eyed undergrads.
@VolcanoMouse It depends! Is she going to get herself into more debt than her eventual career prospects give her any chance of paying off? Has she budgeted how she's going to survive the next two years - is there any income beyond loans, etc? Are there opportunities to advance in her field without another degree?
Does she really, really, really want to study this, for reasons other than "jobs and letters after her name"?
Because putting yourself into SOME debt for school is not the worst idea in the world, but that's a decision that can only be made in the context of the rest of her life. And she has to be hella committed to the actual subject, not just the the idea of being a grad student (thinking about that last point is what convinced me to not go to law school a few years ago, but what drove me to take the program I'm in now).
You can't make this decision for her.
@VolcanoMouse HMM I just finished out my Masters in German History not long ago and I have a pretty good sized debt and am not currently working in my field even a little bit, and applications I send INTO my field are being sucked into the black hole of job-hunting or something, along with those of my in-the-same-boat fellow graduates. HOWEVER, I loved the experience, I learned a lot about my field and academia in general, and knowing that SOMEDAY I want to go and get my PhD so that I can teach at the University level, I would not change what I did for the world.
However, your bestie should reeeeally think hard about doing it, because the payoff is not so great lately. But if your bestie goes in knowing the risk, is willing to take it, has a plan to manage the debt, and wants to do it anyway I wouldn't necessarily beg her to stop. If it's really what she wants to do, she'll probably end up doing it no matter what you say, and if you push too hard against the idea it might come across poorly.
@VolcanoMouse I've had pretty much every shade of this freakout over the past couple of years, trying to figure out what to do after my MA. I eventually decided to go ahead with the PhD because I'm in a humanities field with decent job security, I got a fellowship/TAship so the debt will be minimal, and I'm passionate about my field of study. If I were going into debt for less job security, or for something I didn't love so much, I probably would have opted out.
@bocadelperro That is an article I had not seen and one that I'll definitely pass around! I've encountered Thomas Benton's incredibly depressing (incredibly... realistic?) articles about why you shouldn't go to grad school before, but I'm quibbling over whether to send them to her. I want her to be happy! But not so happy that she's blinded? Neither making her happy or opening her eyes are solely in my power, though! Man, this is hard.
Everyone I know who's considering to grad school also seems to have the "should I haul my partner to X school in the middle of Elsewhere?" dilemma, too. We moved when my spouse got into a program, but I was (luckily) directionless at the time and ambivalent to which bit of the country we fetched up in. Nnnnot looking forward to the post-graduation cross-country adjunct-odyssey.
@VolcanoMouse the "two body" problem is pretty much the reason that, despite my objectively kickass CV (Fulbright, European Postdoc, publications on both sides of the atlantic), I am underemployed at the moment. I just spend a year abroad, and I CANNOT.leave Mr. Delperro again yet, and he makes 4x as much as I ever will, so he certainly can't follow me around. So I am teaching one class online this quarter and one class next quarter at the small university down the road. But, we're going to have to bit the bullet soon, again. It's really rough. I knew this going into it, and it's still rough.
You know how sometimes the lip/edge of a molded-cup bra will curl up a little, creating a tent of fabric above the lining? How do you make it all lie flat again? I've only worn this bra twice and I haven't machine-washed it, but it's ruining the whole point of a seamless, smooth t-shirt bra.
@wallsdonotfall Replying because I need to know the answer to this as well!
@wallsdonotfall I was going to say hand wash it, which is what fixed mine after they curled up when I machine washed them, but since you haven't machine washed yet, I have no idea if it would help. But maybe it will?
@wallsdonotfall straightening iron, low heat.
@JadedStone like, hair straightener?
@JadedStone Hmm! I'll try it with a hair straightener on the lowest setting and report back.
@oh! valencia yup.
@JadedStone Huh. I never would have thought of that. (skips off to dig out the hair straightener).
@wallsdonotfall - I usually just kind of pull on the fabric to stretch it out, then curl the thing back down. At least for me it seems like the problem is usually that the fabric shrunk a little and is pulling the lip down, at least until you're months in and working with an old bra and then sometimes it's just the crappy edge being crappy.
@JadedStone This thread is giving me a mild desire to straighten my hair today. BUuuuuut I am not sure I want to spend 2 hours of my day doing that.
Last gift I bought: bottle of Amaro. Then my friend made me a tasty cocktail with it, hurrah!
The last present I gave was a shirt for my brother that says "We're all vice presidents in the Joe Biden fan club!"
@SarahP I have got to buy that shirt. From diesel sweeties, right?
@area@twitter Yes! And only $12 for the rest of 2012!
@SarahP WHAT?! YES. I'm comin' for ya, Uncle Joe!
My ipod is on a local music kick this week – let’s make a thread of music from our hometowns!
I’ll go first – Cadence Weapon
@gobblegirl this will totally not fit in this thread/website but I'm doin' it anyway, cuz ah lur it. And if I can turn another person onto grime, I would lurr dat too.
D double E and Dizzee Rascal- Bluku Bluku
Ella Riot (formerly My Dear Disco) aren't playing together anymore. But I still love the music they made:
@gobblegirl Hmmm a fellow Edmontonian! Fun! I am sorry to say that I really keep trying to like Cadence Weapon, but then I just can't seem to :(
I successfully emigrated today! Flew out of Dublin at some ungodly hour this morning, was in Brighton by 10am, had a frustrating three hour wait because my leasing agent is a dope and wouldn't hand over the keys for a variety of non-reasons BUT managed eventually to get into my new house! I have already seen more visibly gay couples than I have ever seen in my life, and a man almost collided with me on his bicycle so I think I'm having a very authentic experience so far. Ten minutes ago I ate chips on the pier looking out at the breaking waves in the dark while finishing the last few pages of Greene's Brighton Rock (I know, I know). Ahhhhh I'm just so relieved to be finally HERE and safe and content.
@Decca Congratulations! It sounds lovely!
@Decca Congratulations on successful moving! I am very jealous, Brighton is on my list of places to flee london for.
@Decca I am becoming an Irish citizen! Dual citizen (still American), and no current plans to move, but I'm so excited! If one of your grandparents was born in Ireland and you can provide oooooodles of documentation, they will let you in! (I hope. Not final yet, knock wood.)
@Decca Oh my God, that sounds so awesome! Yaaayyyy for you!
@Decca I used to live in Brighton (well Portslade) and it was great, i loved the beach, the pier, the lanes and all the pubs/clubs on the beach front! But now i live in Edinburgh and haven't been back for 3 and a half years :(
Brighton pinup? I would love to head down on a Saturday and if Pinners and a pub were involved it would be all the greater....
@Tuna Surprise Yes for a pinup!
@Decca Yay, welcome to Brighton! I'm up for a Brighton pinup.
@Tuna Surprise Brighton? Pinup? I could travel.
@themegnapkin Hey me too!!! I'll officially be an Irish citizen in April, I'll be heading over for at least a month in June! Seriously, the PAPERWORK.
@katiemcgillicuddy are you getting your citizenship the same way I am? If so, how do you know when you'll get it? I just sent in the last thing I needed last week, and I'd love to have an idea of how long it will take.
@themegnapkin Yeah, my mom's side is almost entirely in Ireland. Grandma from Galway, Granddad from Cork. What have you sent them at this point? I live right outside DC and gave the Embassy all the paperwork. I can't even remember at this point, but I think I sent things in as well? It takes about 8 months (theoretically, but apparently they are pretty good about it) from when they get your final set of documentation. And then 6 weeks after that you get your passport. There is a woman named Geraldine who works at the Embassy in DC, she is WONDERFUL, call them up and ask for her (and tell her you were directed to her, not everyone was so great there) and ask her whatever you have to, she will totally help. Have you gotten your citizenship/passport pictures yet? They are a weird size (not the same as Canada or England) and you'll have to find someone other than Sears/the Post Office to do it (at least I did). Slàinte!
2234 Washington, DC 20008
@katiemcgillicuddy (that's the embassy info, and if you have any other questions, email@example.com, I try to check it when I remember I actually have the account)
@katiemcgillicuddy Thanks! I submitted my application to the Irish Consulate in New York, since I'm slightly closer to NYC than to DC.
Goddammit, I used the same master mix for both these samples, and one has the staining and the other doesn't. Fuck you trickster gods! -from a pissed off atheist.
@thiscallsforsoap Is this a comment ABOUT soap? I don't understand.
I was thinking hip-hop.
@thiscallsforsoap maybe a ghost ate the (dna...?) sample from one of them. It happens, especially on a friday.
I jokingly came up with my nickname for this site, and unfortunately it seems to have been more accurate than I realized. I keep getting told by people that I have really good qualities(and I have a hard time believing them), but I feel pretty nonfunctional most of the time. I think I am just in the midst of a depression/anxiety spell, and it is a doozy. I just want to teleport to the future where we have discovered a cure for all the mental illnesses. Just trying to ride out the worst of it right now, so I would love to hear everyone else's good news for the week.
@Awesomely Nonfunctional Also, I feel kind of shitty that I can't remember the last gift I gave being any time recently. I do share a lot though...does that count? Like a gift without forethought?
The biggest thing I've ever been a part of looks to be ending with a win for my side!
I do think that sharing counts. That's lovely. And I know what it's like to have spell like that. Hang in there! The only quality of yours that I could assess is internet commenting ability, but you seem pretty ace at that!
@Awesomely Nonfunctional My good news of the week is my dad's latest round of chemo seems to be working, which is amazing. Also, I'm kicking ass at my job. Kicking. Ass. This week brought to you by a newer, more focused, sober Rose.
I bought my bf a miniature Newton's Cradle & some suprisingly fancy beer soap, but the latest to change hands was a housemate's pewter tankard.
Overly involved mothers: mine keeps insisting on going to Drs appointments with me (she needs to travel 2 hours to do so) & generally doing more worrying about my health than I do (was diagnosed with IBD this summer). I appreciate the support & love, but seriously it would be nice to go more than half an hour without her taking me aside, staring into my eyes, and asking how I'm feeling.
On a better note, earlier I saw a condom dispenser in a public loo with the instructions "twist knob briskly to left and right". You guys. Please say things like that never stop being funny. I don't think I could bear to be mature & po-faced.
@Apocalypstick if it helps, i read your last sentence as "i don't think i could bear to be mature & POO-faced".
@Apocalypstick nope, never ever stops being funny
I'm spending the weekend hanging out with my mom and going through my grandpop's books to see what we want to keep or sell or make into crafts. I mean, a set of 1964 World Books is cool, but what on earth to do with them?
An added benefit of going there is getting to go for a walk/jog with the doggie and also not spending any money on drinks.
@meetapossum Husband & I saw the coolest book art last weekend. Someone had taken about 8 old Readers' Digests with patterned covers and taken the pages out. Then they opened them out & did two rows of four glued on a board. It was perfect library art, but I decided I could make my own. (If I find the time and the books of course, and don't feel too bad about the destruction of said books!)
@BornSecular Also, different artist had taken old National Geographic pages & used acid on them that swirled the ink into creepy/cool (pick your poison) abstract art, then mounted them on slate.
@BornSecular Interesting! He did have A TON of NatGeo, but we may have thrown most of them away when we attempted to clean the attic.
@meetapossum Cool. There is a lot of wonderful book art that's been made in the last 15 years, everywhere from Tom Phillips' Humument to sculpturey paper cutting things. Here are a few!
My professional life is sh*t right now. I desperately want/need a new job since my primary coworker has become insufferable and I am also bored out of my mind.
On the plus side, my personal life is rockin'! I got a letter from my Pin Pal friend this week and wrote her back last night, my husband is great, my kitties are cute, and I am slowly becoming a part of a choir that gets to go to Hawaii next year for international competition.
@BornSecular Traveling with a choir is always fun. What kind of repertoire do they sing?
@Audley This is a really late reply, so you may never see it, but it's a Sweet Adlines chorus so it's all 4 part barbershop harmonies.
@BornSecular That's great. A few summers ago, I spent some time hanging out with a girl who was a very serious barbershop quartet person and our group of friends spent a lot of time hanging out in the evening singing tags she taught us from the pieces she was singing.
Wedding cakes. Why are they so expensive and why do they never taste good? Also, WTF fondant!? No one likes you!!!
Soooo...should I DIY my wedding cake or will I go crazy from the stress?(I do not handle stress well)
@rallisaurus My friend DIY'd her cake and it was tasty. I don't know about stress, though. Ask a couple of friends to pitch together, maybe, if you have friends you can trust with that?
Truly, though, so many wedding cakes are just...disappointing.
@rallisaurus NEVER FONDANT.
I've had quite a few friends either make their own cake or enlist baking-savvy friends to make them -- one had a tower of cupcakes, which was very well-received!
DIY or get friends to do it. You can do the cake a week in advance and freeze. Take frozen layers out of freezer, ice and display. Easier to ice when frozen.
@rallisaurus Ask friends if they have a friend who bakes. six degrees of separation this.
Odds are, SOMEBODY is starting out a cake making business. But... pay attention to cakewrecks.com
@Scandyhoovian I made a tower of cupcakes for my sister's wedding, and it was awesome.
@rallisaurus Dessert table! Screw the cake!
@Tuna Surprise SECONDED, also ASSEMBLE ON SITE. Do not assemble at home. ON SITE, I tell you.
Another option: cake potluck. Have all your baking-type friends bring a one- or two-layer cake. CAKE FOR EVERYONE.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Actually, a general potluck is pretty sweet too. My friend did it and there was so much delicious food nobody could eat it all. (Including the groom's father's homemade pastrami...)
@rallisaurus Cupcake tower is THE BEST. DO THIS.
@rallisaurus At my wedding we just had an assortment of our favorite deserts! We ordered ahead for the modest, but delicious cake, and our friends stopped by a couple local bakeries for a pie and some chocolate cupcakes. Here's a picture: http://www.flickr.com/photos/soul_toast/5245696578/
@soul toast Sorry, that should be DESSERTS. waited too long to edit.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher OMG a cake potluck would be amazing! I have amazing bakeryly friends, and I ain't so bad myself.
Right now I'm leaning towards cupcake tower, probably bought and then DIYing a cake to cut. I love baking whole cakes, but I'm an unenthusiastic cupcake maker. But these are all great ideas! I'm glad no one seemed to be like "oh nooooooo, it's horrible, you'll rue the day, etc. etc."
@rallisaurus I've been volunteering to make cakes for friends' celebratory occasions (birthdays, bridal showers, weddings, etc.) because I firmly believe that people should be able to celebrate with a delicious cake made with love. Also, no one should have to pay many hundreds of dollars for a cake. Seriously? That is cranked out crazy.
You will do great! Whatever you choose to do will be fine, because you'll be married at the end of it.
@rallisaurus My dad's friend made us a brownie cake that was just three layers of brownies, and it was the BEST THING EVER. Also, pretty inexpensive.
@rallisaurus Some friends had a cake competition at their wedding. This might have been genius.
@rallisaurus - My sister is getting married in two months and my father is lactose-intolerant, so he is getting his own personal lemon meringue pie at the reception. I am jealous.
@laserbeams Oh my god, that is beyond genius. *files away idea under "ways to get people to bring me cake"*
@MrsTeacherFace My mom makes a Texas Sheet Cake that is like a cake and a brownie had a baby. I've always wondered how it would layer...
@rallisaurus If you're in western Washington, my homegirl Cassie does some ROCKING cakes and she will hook you up!
PS: If you're pricing out a cake at a bakery, don't tell 'em it's a wedding cake, 'cause I swear they add $$$ if they know that.
@MsChilePepper I wish! I'm near the other Washington, so prices are even more ridiculous! And I'm totally down with the not telling them it's for a wedding unless you have to. If I do order a cake I'll probably do just that.
1. I'm gonna be a life model for college art classes, which means I get paid $10 an hour for people to DRAW MY BUTT.
2. Today's life model was sexy, and I got lunch with him, and everyone else in my whole dumb class was totally jealous.
Oh ALSO, I need advice!
I'm living with a nice girl and her boyfriend, who is friendly but pretty spoiled. They both apparently grew up in houses where you leave your trash on the floor. I've made a Friday Clean the House day, in which we all three clean the three common rooms of the house, but I always have to enforce it and they drag their feet, ask me what's wrong with each (smelly, messy) room, and seem to resent me. Any ideas on how to make this not a bigger chore to get them to do it? The girl's good about cleaning with me, but she takes the guy's lead when he inevitably complains.
@Inkling obviously decorate your entire house with people's drawings of your butt
Oh and one time I straightened up the guy's (ugly, dusty) video game pile (in the livingroom! First thing you see when you come in!) and he thanked me, then explained his mom often had to remind him to clean up his videogames. I asked him if that meant he grew into a responsible adult who knew how to keep common areas clean and he said no, it meant I might have to remind him.
BLOOD BOILING I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER.
@Inkling People like tht really really really piss me off. Is there any chance you can sit them down and be like "Listen. No one wants to live in a dirty house. Adults have to clean up their own mess. Now, should we make a list of chores that need doing in each room? That way we'll know what needs to get done every week."
Or alternately you could just scream at her BE AN ADULT AND CLEAN YOUR HOUSE like I always wanted to when I lived with the World's Filthiest Roommate.
(True story: He washed his sheets once in 13 months. He kept tons of dishes and trash in his room. He had an empty Pringles canister that he filled with all his old Kleenex he used for mopping up his jerk sessions, proudly on display next to his computer and bottle of lotion. Once he was bringing a girl over, so he "cleaned" an entire bag of trash from his room, and rather than taking it down the hall to the trash chute, STUCK IT IN HIS CLOSET. And when I told him to act like an adult and clean his shit up, he said "Sounds like you're telling me what to do! And I don't like that. You're not my mom.")
Also this dude got married this summer. To a girl five years younger than him. He is 25. She is 20.
@The Lady of Shalott Wow, how on EARTH did your W.F.R. get laid, let alone married??
@The Lady of Shalott EW EW EW.
@Inkling oh and for the roommates, definitely sit down together and collaboratively make a list of what needs to be cleaned! Even the filthiest people will normally have some cleaning priorities and you want to make it feel like their input is valued, you know?
Back when I lived with filthy roommates we finally decided to have a cleaning day every 2 weeks on sunday and then we would all have dinner and watch a movie together. That worked well actually.
@The Lady of Shalott *tiny screams* at Pringles canister!
1) The three of you pay to get a cleaning service twice monthly. Figure it in as one of the bills like gas or electricity or trash removal.
2) You knock some relevant amount of money off your rent that they pick up and you clean the common areas. Personal items left lying around go on the bed/in a crate in the room of their owner. You do the tidying otherwise.
They aren't going to get better about it and will get crabbier. If you all pay and have it done, or they in effect pay you to do it, it's clean like you like it and they aren't pissed off with you.
@PistolPackinMama also I was a life drawing model, and yes. People totally drew my butt. It was awesome. Good for you for taking the gig!
@PistolPackinMama Also... this is why I live alooooone.
@Inkling @PistolPackinMama I want to do this! ...but I don't think I could hold still long enough. Also, my boyfriend would probably object, and while I would like to say that I'd just say FUCK 'EM and do it anyway, his feelings do matter to me. O wellz.
@Inkling Argh, how irritating for you - that sounds awful. Whenever I visit my boyfriend I find myself desperately never wanting to share a flat with anyone (except maybe him) because the place is always filthy - he does clean, but his flatmates are awful. I ended up taking the rubbish and the recycling out when I was there last weekend because I couldn't stand it (the bin was so full that the swing-top lid wouldn't open, and it smelled). Also, tidied my boyfriend's room and inadvertently guilted him into helping, because he is good at cleaning things but not at keeping things tidy. It drives me mad, and I'm only there once a fortnight - I'm sorry you have to live with messy people.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH did you EVER eat Pringles again?!
We're all really poor... I have no idea :/ blugh ugh.
Your boyfriend would seriously object to that?
Not to rain on your parade (with haterade) but... whaaaa why why would that be an issue.
And seriously guys, thanks for the commiseration. Sometimes I almost feel nuts for not wanting food wrappers in the floor and food rotting in the sink and That Smell in the toilet.
@Inkling I think he would, but I could be wrong! He made sad faces when I talked about maybe doing the Naked Run when I was an undergrad at UCSC. Buuuuuut it's also been like three years since then, and I walk around the house naked all the time (I just really like being naked, especially since it's been so hot out) and since we've lived together for two years, maybe the specialness has worn off and he wouldn't care anymore! Buuuut my fidgetyness is probably a more direct block to nude modeling, so it's kind of a moot point anyway.
@Inkling Oh ish. ISH.
When I moved out of my last roommate situation, I went because my housemate's BF moved in and he had two dogs, one an elderly, incontinent Akida with bowl trouble. Roomie had a dog, too. And the place just... ugh. It got grimier and skuzzyier and dog-smelling-er and ish.
Also the BF was an abusive juicebox, and ugh...
ANYWAY. For the sake of my sanity stuff needs to be Clean Enough. And I do not have what it takes to be nice to other people about achieving Clean Enough.
Grown ups... should clean up at least nominally after themselves. They just should.
@Inkling I don't think it's that strange? I mean, my boyfriend would not be cool with having other people draw me nekkid, even in a non-sexual way. And his opinions on the subject do matter to me! Similarly I wouldn't be cool with having other people draw him naked, even in a non-sexual way. Maybe it's my inner prude coming out or something, but it just...I don't know. Rubs me the wrong way. (Hah!)
@everyone Yes, I ate Pringles again, after putting the image out of my mind. And he is marrying a girl five years younger than he is, who he met at work (the grocery store, where he is a night stocker and she is a cashier), and they started dating the day after she turned 18. She got his name tattooed on her arm! I swear!
AND he met her on his mission to sleep with every girl who worked at his store. I SWEAR.
It seems really possessive/shaming of your body, I guess. And really not anywhere close to his decision. I wouldn't even think to ask a boyfriend permission to use my body.
Also, more deets. The tattoo is KILLING me. Can you link us to their Facebooks asap or at least read to us from them?
@Inkling Well, it's not his decision, but I do take his thoughts into consideration when I do a lot of things. I don't find it possessive or shaming, as much as I think of it being "I like to be the only one who sees you unclothed," for both of us. I don't think shame comes into it much, personally.
Like damn I'm using my own body, idiot, I'm not gonna ask you to borrow it.
And drawing someone is so nonsexual due to the difficulty... Whatever works equally for everyone, of course. I'd get super huffy in a quick sec though.
@Inkling I understand why you feel that way, and intellectually I feel that way too...but since he already feels this way, getting mad and yelly at him isn't a productive way of changing his mind and is a quick way of making him shut down and get even more upset about the idea. I'm not terribly self-conscious about my body these days, but he is, and that tends to extend to other people around him. It's something that I think will take some time, and he's got many lovely qualities that make me feel it's worth working on with him so that someday he might understand!
In hypothetical land of you want to nude model or the equivalent, wouldn't it make sense to allow him to air his concerns, and then just explain what nude modeling is and how it's not going to affect/hurt him in any way? After all, any disturbance to his ego is probably due to a misunderstanding about the nature of the job, right?
I mean, I understand trying to not make people uncomfortable, but dude there are limits. So long as you're not having sexual relations or intentions with other people, you do what you want.
@frigwiggin This is blowing my mind a little. I am on Team Inkling on this one, for me personally. Of course, I am on Team Whatever Decision Works For You for everyone else.
I sort of assumed... I dunno what I assumed.
I could imagine caring more that my *hug* was upset I was discussing our sexytimes/sex life with other people than if I was a life model. At least that experience is actually also their experience.
Maybe I am having mind-blowing because I also can't imagine a dude-person (or a lady-person, I guess) caring if their partner posed for life drawing.
I will say this. Modeling for drawing did my self esteem and body-courage and shame-rejection so. much. good. I don't know how much longer I would have had to take on the journey to become as okay with my body as I am now, without it.
Noone ever said anything sexual about it to me or anything. But people did say they were so happy to have lots of different kinds of bodies to draw because it was more interesting and challenging. And the first dude to get the sharp side of my tongue for saying juiceboxy things to me in college was in one drawing section and I remember being all AH HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA I AM HERE AND FUCK YOU YOU COWARDLY LITTLE WEASEL on those days.
It was just such a good experience.
And, people made really beautiful drawings, too, and I got to score a couple of them.
Anyway. Thanks for sharing your perspectives, y'all. It's been instructive.
@PistolPackinMama You got to KEEP some of the drawings?? Definitely signing up now!
@Inkling You're probably right! If my feelings about modeling for life-drawing were more than a vague, idle interest, we would be having more Talks about these things. And I will say to both you and @PPM that I am making assumptions about his feelings based entirely on past experiences, and I could be completely wrong! He might wish me well and tell me to try not to fart in the middle of it. People change, and his feelings might have changed about this sort of thing since we last had an out-and-out conversation about it. If I do ever end up trying it, I'm sure y'all will hear about it, because I am a compulsive oversharer.
Ugh, I don't have time to hear your "mansplanation" of how I can't fart whenever I want. MY BODY MY RULES, PATRIARCHY.
@Inkling Threaten to throw away everything that is on the floor in a common area, including video games, if it is not neat. That was one of my parents tricks; I think it worked pretty well. I miss you, troll dolls.
@MrsTeacherFace Two of my friends live together in a filthy apartment (it would be FABULOUS if it were CLEAN though - jacuzzi, fireplace, hardwood floors, huge sinks and bathrooms) and it really makes me lose respect for them when I come over. They grew up with a housekeeper and now their MOM comes over and cleans once in a while. The guy is THIRTY. The girl is too lazy to walk her dog so he SHITS IN HER BATHROOM and you can't even go in there any more.
So my advice is to do what our mutual friend who lived with them for a time did and MOVE OUT before the resentment builds too much and you hate them forever. Then you can come over once in a while and be like, glad I don't have to deal with this any more...now it's their problem.
@MrsTeacherFace You can do what my mother once did: take a snow shovel and scrape the variegated crap on the floor into piles, then dump those piles onto people's beds. It helps to be quivering with barely contained rage.
@Inkling This is one of the hardest things about living with roommates, when your versions of "clean" don't match up. It seems like you've had several discussions with them about this, so I would say your options are a) continue to nag them b) stop cleaning up after them and try to be zen about the fact that your common spaces are dirty but your room is your clean sanctuary c) clean the common areas to the level you want them and try not to resent them too much. When I've been the cleaner roommate I've tried to reframe my thinking around it as, "Well, this is MY problem, since the other people living in this house are happy with this level of dirt." But to be honest, I've never lasted long in living situations where I was the cleanest one.
So usually I tell the girl I want to talk with her and her boyfriend, and she's always like "I'll talk to him! I already sent him a message, no need" or whatever, but last night the boyfriend was like "Look, if you ever need to say something to me about anything, just come talk to me." What what I'm practically not allowed. PS What is she saying.
@Inkling I'm with supernintendochalmers and Amphora on this.
You cannot make roommates clean to your standards. They will NEVER do it without you nagging them; over time you'll just make them and yourself more and more resentful. Clean it yourself, accept the mess, or move out. Sorry.
@Fiddle dee dee THIS IS SO TRUE. Because guess what, I am the (kind of filthy) roomate, and I cannot meet your standards, and I do not want to fight about it, which is why I PAY FOR THE CLEANING LADY.
So a few weeks ago I posted about having to speak at an industry conference. It happened this past Wednesday and went great! Thanks for the advice pinners. As a result of my good work, I get to do it again in December. This all means good things careerwise. They must really like me because I also got asked by my job to go to a charity ball where we bought a table and are taking clients. I need a ballgown and this dress is the only one I've seen so far that I love.
Does anyone have a 95% off coupon for Lanvin? Anyone?
@Tuna Surprise Congrats!! You should try Rent The Runway for a gown if you haven't already.
@Tuna Surprise That dress is perfect. I literally gasped when I saw it. Just print out a lifesized version and tape it to yourself?
@Tuna Surprise That dress is gorgeous!
I wonder if Rent The Runway might be a challenge for someone who is actually model-tall though... There is only one way to find out! Good luck and keep us posted.
@Tuna Surprise Have you seen previous comments about dress rental places? I forget the other one, but I think one was Rent the Runway or something like that?
@Tuna Surprise I'm renting a ballgown from rent the runway for a black tie wedding this fall and am SO. EXCITED. The formal full-length ones are more expensive, but they do promos fairly frequently -- I got a voucher from Gilt City for $100 for dress + jewelry + insurance, and a few weeks before that they'd had 50% off eeeerything (which I missed because I am captain of Team Indecision).
@punkahontas Oh right, forgot to comment on height of wearers -- a lot of the dresses come in petite, regular and tall (or two of three of those options), so with that plus reviews, you can usually figure out if a dress is going to be long enough for you with whatever shoes you choose.
I booked my flight to NY this week and so am emigrating from London and will be ending an LDR of two years. Looking forward to it but its almost bittersweet as I've never been that far from family and we're a pretty close bunch.
@khaleesi Actually, if anybody could offer some advice on apartment hunting in NY, I'd really appreciate it.
Check the listings on Craigslist for the neighborhoods that interest you to start getting an idea of what rents are like, but be careful about responding to those listings -- scams abound. Visit the area you like and look around. Buildings often display the phone number of the management company or the rental agent who handles the building on a sign outside; write these down and call to see if they have any vacancies coming up soon that you can see. Generally, it only pays to start looking a month and a half before you expect to move. A lot of people wait until the last possible second to tell their landlords they don't intend to renew, or they just move out and don't even say anything.
Uptown is way more affordable than downtown or Brooklyn; don't let anyone scare you away from checking out Harlem or Washington Heights.
Oh, and there is a Facebook group for NYC-based Hairpin commenters. If you are on Facebook you should join it and ask that hive mind for further suggestions. Super helpful people!
@khaleesi Also, if you're not sure about the neighborhood, you can look the address up on this map. It tells you the number of different types of crimes that have been reported there. It's actually not as scary as it sounds, and NYC is extremely safe these days. At least most of it!
@City_Dater Thanks! Yeah, Craigslist has had some decent stuff but then there have been a few which are crazy too good to be true so I figured they were scams.
@punkhontas Thanks for the link, it has been kind of tough not knowing which areas are good and which are not so good..
@khaleesi Good luck!
@khaleesi So, I'm not sure how long you're going to be in the city, but I sublet for a summer before I signed a lease and it was one of the best things I did as far as getting comfortable with the city and figuring out which neighborhood I wanted to live in. I would also say the golden rule of apt-hunting in NYC is that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Good luck! I love this city.
So I have a phone interview for a job in the DC area next week and I'm SO EXCITED but also, how the hell do you find an apartment in DC? I've been looking online and there is NOTHING that isn't a gazillion dollars.
Right now I pay $780 for a studio in Chicago and it is stressing me out that I might pay more than double that for the same size apartment. HALP DC 'Pinners!
@ImASadGiraffe What part of town are you looking to live in?
@ImASadGiraffe It's mostly all a gazillion dollars, in my (somewhat limited- only 2 years) experience. You can save money if you don't get too hung up on being in the district per se. If you like to bike, you would be a little farther from Metro and that results in some decrease in rent, typically. Consider sharing places and all that. Wish I could be more help, DC is mostly just expensive :/ but occasionally you can find some awesome deals in some sweet couples' basement or something.
@katiemcgillicuddy My new office would be in MD off the Green Line, so preferably within walking distance from the Green Line. Walking distance for me is up to 3/4 of a mile (I walk that now here in Chicago).
As long as it's relatively safe to live in, I'm fine with it. I have two small (less than 15 lbs) dogs so that also complicates things. I'm really ok with a basement, an efficiency, no parking needed since I don't have a car. My budget is $1250 or less (way less is better).
@ImASadGiraffe I scoped out a really nice studio in Shaw for about 900 last fall when I was looking for a place, which is on the green line. I live in Southwest right now, which fits your green line needs, but there's not a lot going on and the rent's not thaaaaat cheap. You can sometimes find cheap (for DC) places in the Columbia Heights area, which can be a little noisy/young person-y, but I also like the area. If you live south of the Anacostia, where the green line runs, you can get some good deals. I'm not really familiar with that part of town. People say it's sketchy, but there's a real "uh oh, black people!" thing going on when it comes to people assessing DC neighborhoods. Look at crime stats and all that.
@Probs I did look at apartments that were right by the office I'd be working at - I'd be on the minority side of the demographic, but they look relatively safe, given the location (right across the street from a federal headquarters). The crime stats really seem to vary from town to town in PG County.
Thanks guys, you're giving me some hope. It's just hard to swallow a studio renting for $1700/month, so glad there are options out there.
@ImASadGiraffe Where exactly on the Green Line?
@Sarah H. Workplace would be at Suitland Metro stop - but I'm not super picky about where on the Green Line that I'd be living as long as it is safe.
@ImASadGiraffe Like @probs said, to save a bit of money, you might want to live outside the city. It's a quick commute into the city, and while the Metro is sometimes a militant jerk, it's usually okay.
@ImASadGiraffe: Suitland is not super-walkable if I remember correctly (I've driven by and through the Census Bureau a few times). Hahaha, so I was going to suggest Greenbelt or College Park but it's the other side of the line. Honestly, that part of the county does not have the most savory reputation, but hopefully other PG county Pinners can chime in--I grew up just outside of PG so while I'm familiar with it, I'm not familiar with the finer grain details of choosing a place to live in the DC metro.
Maybe check out Navy Yard/Ballpark? There was a few weeks where I thought I would have to find a cheaper place to live in DC (I live in Bmore) and some Pinners pointed me towards that area. I wish I could remember the newish name for the area though, besides "Navy Yard."
EDIT: I remembered it! I was thinking of Hill East but it's not on the green line. It's close to the green line though, so if you found something and if you wanted to, you might be able to finagle a bus or a bus+metro to Suitland.
I quit my job this week! I am going to be unemployed and that is terrifying, but I am also no longer going to be insane and miserable so I think it is probably a good thing!
@Dandyliongirl Please enjoy yourself a little extra for me. I would like to do the same.
@RocketSurgeon I second that emotion.
@Dandyliongirl I support this. I've been there, and sometimes you just need to quit, and it's about self-preservation.
This day. Fuck. * Insert nerdy explanation about errors in XML file validation that nobody else cares about here* I think I'll be having bourbon for dinner.
@RocketSurgeon As someone who spent her entire day bumping up against a database, trying to find the documentation to tell her how the fuck to access a particular data correction factor, and was ultimately unsuccessful, I heartily endorse your liquid dinner plan.
@RocketSurgeon There's a new diet called #allmycarbsarebooze. It's really fun and fuck XML from me as well.
So I'm changing my username to something that's not personally identifiable. When I first made an account here I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I've overshared a lot of things, and so far nobody I know has found me, but I'd like to keep it that way, or at least not make it so obvious.
For people who've changed their username: how long did you keep the (formerly ___) before dropping it? Just curious.
So...sadly, no more Mr. Banana Grabber. I gave up the animation rights, anyway. I do feel a little dorky for choosing a reference to the same show, but I liked it better than all the other ideas floating around in my head, so.
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325)
Hello new you! I like your new username.
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) At least we probably won't get you confused with @candybeans!
I didn't even do a formerly ____ since I only added one letter, but that was almost worse because then people were just confused about whether the R had been there the whole time, haha.
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) Cool! I just decided to do this too, but I have been too lazy to change it :/ Good name!
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) I would also like to know the answer to your question. Just in case... *glances over shoulder suspiciously at real life people*
@frigwiggin Oh, shiiiiiit. I forgot about @candybeans. I think I'm going to have to use one of my other ideas. Or come up with something else.
BUT THE JELLYBEAN PICTURE IS SO PRETTY. :(
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) You make me think about changing mine (but I don't have anything other than the first name, so I won't). And I got found out this week, but luckily it was by the one person on the planet that already knows everything there is to know (seriously, she knows where the bodies are buried) so who cares. She guessed wrong once (she thought I was whizz_dumb somehow, even though he is a...a he), but then she saw (wait for it) our conversation about NACHOS and guessed. No joke. I'm sure would have told her at some point anyway. But if anyone else finds out, I'll probably be thrown. (Also, I really like "a whole thing of candy beans") Ha, oh you should make it candy babies, remember candy babies??!
Maybe take out the candy beans part and just be "a whole thing"?
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) What's wrong with "A whole thing of jellybeans"?
@katiemcgillicuddy I remember candy babies! But the whole point of the username is that it's an Arrested Development reference, so if I change it to jellybeans (which is what I call them) or candy babies or "a whole thing" it's not a quote from the show anymore. I've got a few more ideas knocking around in my head, but I liked this one because it let me use a pretty picture.
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) Would "jennybeans" be too identifiable?
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) I just skipped that part, kept the same icon, and assumed everyone would figure it out. But I'm hard to miss, I guess?
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) I have also been thinking of changing my name, so that I could in the future say more personal things. I think you might have inspired me to take the leap!
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) When I changed my username, I didn't do a (formerly) thing. I just kept the same user icon. i have no idea if anyone here recognizes me or anything. also doing a (formerly) thing seems to defeat the purpose of changing it in the first place?
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) Compromise with a different AD reference? Unlimited Juice, perhaps?
@hulia This party's gonna be off the hook!
@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) You could be Mr Banana Grabber, maybe?
@Porn Peddler Yeah, if you keep the same icon it's probably not necessary to do a (formerly) thing.
@Summer Somewhere It's only temporary.
@Verity I considered Mr. Banana Grabber, but I'm not a mister! And I don't want to be Ms. Banana Grabber.
@hulia Unlimited juice is a good one! But I'm going to choose a reference from something else. I'm currently trying to decide between specific quotes from Annie Hall and Young Frankenstein, but I'll probably end up coming up with something else in the meantime, making the decision even harder. I'll mull it over this week. :)
Okay, so since "a whole thing of candy beans" was too similar to someone else's username I'm now "fondue with cheddar". Which is much tastier.
@fondue with cheddar (formerly jen325) ...did you just say you were going to fondle your sweaters?
@remargaret No, I said "fondue with cheddar". We're having fondue with cheddar for dinner tonight. SHUT UP GO AWAY LEAVE ME ALONE.
Two weeks of deleted comments:
The Hairpin - 08/27/12 - 12:14PM - You're dating British Aaron Sorkin, right?
The Hairpin - 08/27/12 - 6:58PM - I WOULD KISS A PRETTY UKRAINIAN WOMAN SO FAST. RIGHT ON THE MOUTH.
The Hairpin - 09/10/12 - 9:22AM - "I...like frogs and little amphibians that live under rocks."
"I also rescue homeless worms"
We should go out sometime.
The Hairpin - 09/12/12 - 2:30PM - This also works for clothing. If you just look like a bum all the time, nobody will ever think you're not homeless.
@Reginal T. Squirge man I should really start deleting my comments and keeping a record of them instead of leaving them up. It seems so much more respectful AND cryptic
which is to say SORRY EMBY FOR ALL THE STUPID COMMENTS I MADE YESTERDAY ABOUT YOUR NEVER MIND.
I figure at least this way people have to do a little bit of work in order to determine who I'm insulting.
@Reginal T. Squirge oh I just assume it's always me :D
(except that none of the above are insulting ... what?!)
@Reginal T. Squirge I love that there's a deleted comment directly below this thread.
For all the people who read when I was venting/freaking out, things are going well with my manfriend! I was having a crisis in the relationship, as evidenced on a FOT a few weeks ago, but he visited, we did stuff that I like to do, my inflamed emotions were soothed (ie we did "it" a whole bunch), and now things are better. The plan still is move to his town, see how the relationship works in person.
How do other 'Pinners do long distance relationships? They're so hard!
@Passion Fruit wait were you talking about a lack of common activities, sense of adventure on his part etc? Because if so I replied to that.
I do LDRing with a schedule of seeing each other every two weeks and a lot of talking on the phone. But it's weird. I always feel like it's touch and go in some ways, but when we see each other things are usually awesome, so...
@Passion Fruit I've been in one two years now (due to end two weeks today) and I've found that for us, communication is the most important thing. When its less than usual due to work or social commitments etc, we both get a little crabby so its best to work out what level of communication each of you expects from the other.
We're pretty much on gchat all the time as we both work in offices, we Skype on weekends and try and do a daily goodnight call (for me, for him its on his way home). Working out ahead of time when you can see each other, helps as well I find. We also enjoy watching shows together that we both like as it helps us feel closer.
Wow, that got long! Sorry for all the advice haha. Hope things go well!
@Emmanuelle Cunt Yes, that was it! We did something adventuresome that I had wanted to do for a long, long while, and it made me feel like he was taking my desires into account, which made the whole visit much better.
Yeah, we talk on the phone quite a bit as well, but sometimes it's like, for fuck's sake, I HATE THE PHONE, I WISH WE COULD SNUGGLE IN COMPLETE LIBRARY SILENCE. Touch and go is right. It takes about a week and a half for my frustration with the situation to set in. But then we're in person and it's so fun. How long have you been long distance?
@khaleesi Two years! You're a strong woman. I'm coming up on a year and a half, and I am so tired of it.
@Passion Fruit Coming up onto a year. i am really hoping he finds work in my town and can move here.
Glad to hear things are better with you two!
@Passion Fruit I'm lucky in that we're not too far away from each other - only about two to two and a half hours by train - and that I don't work fulltime, so can go up on Friday afternoons to arrive when my boyfriend's leaving work, rather than not being able to get up until later in the evening. It's still hard sometimes, though, but we're doing okay. I generally visit for a weekend once a fortnight (sometimes he does, and sometimes it's more often than that), and we send each other Facebook messages constantly to chat about what we're up to. Sometimes we Skype, but I find that awkward, weirdly.
It is hard, but it's doable. I think it's easier for us because we've never lived together (in the same student house for two years, but separate rooms), and we met at university and spent half the year apart in between terms (Oxford terms are only eight weeks long and they make you go home in between - or my college did, so it could rent our rooms out), so we're used to being apart sometimes. I'm glad things are going better for you, and I hope you are able to move before long.
@Passion Fruit I'm so glad you and your guy are doing better! LDRs suck so hard...I only dealt with it for about 6 months and that nearly killed me. I can't imagine more. I hope you get to move closer soon!
(Also, that thread inspired me to have a loooong talk with my bf, during which we came up with things to work on for both of us. One of bf's things was to try coming up with stuff for us to do together that he would enjoy/be willing to do, so that it wasn't always me making suggestions and then getting shot down. Last night he came home and surprised me with baseball tickets for next Tuesday! I am SO happy that he took my concerns seriously and is following through.)
@Passion Fruit My boyfriend and I text each other good morning and text each other good night (we're in a tentative LDR. We'll see. It's sort of touch and go and is wrapped up in other issues in his life). Even if we don't speak any other time during the day (which is rare). It's just something to stay connected. Also it makes me smile first thing in the morning, and *nothing* makes me smile that early. XD It's just something nice to do that reminds the other person that you're thinking of them.
@Passion Fruit When my boyfriend and I met, we lived about an hour apart, so we alternated who visited who on weekends. For various reasons, he ended up going up to Alaska to work while I stayed in Oregon and we tried to figure out where we'd ultimately settle down. We did a lot of texting and pretty much nightly instant messaging and occasional phone calls. I made a couple of trips up to Alaska and he made a couple down to Oregon to visit me, and when I lost my job in Oregon and he got an offer too good to resist in Alaska, I moved up there.
It was probably a little easier because from the time we started dating, we started IMing a lot, almost every night, even when we were in the same state, and we were already accustomed to not seeing each other during the workweek.
I bought this awesome glass for a friend, and bought one for myself so we can be fancy together.
@muffalutta That glass is coooool. Is it a mountain shape in the middle?
@muffalutta That is awesome! Where did you get it?
@muffalutta Ooh, that glass has "Christmas gift for a whiskey drinker" written all over it. Where'd ya buy it?
Hey anyone who loves Presidential Slashfic (which seems to be a sizeable portion of this community) check out Josh Fruhlinger's new blog, Hail to the Slash. You can even submit your own steamy Ryan/Obama/Arthur work that you've been waiting to release.
No gifts this week, but it's a friend's birthday tomorrow so will have to get something for that.
Today began very poorly with me waking up at 3:30 convinced it was time to get up for work. I put on my glasses, climbed down from the bed, and then saw the time. I think that moment was indicative of how the day would turn out.
HOWEVER! I am making some progress on my photo project for a friend, so that's good. And two movies (A Dangerous Method and The Woman In Black) came in for me at the library, so now I have things to watch this weekend.
@dale The Woman in Black is better, I don't know if that makes you want to save it or watch it first, but I thought you should know. A Dangerous Method is okay, but the more I learned about the actual people it's about, the more problems I had with it.
@miss buenos aires Part of me is happy that Daniel's movie is better.
Also I think it's so cool that he did a remake of a movie that his "dad from Harry Potter" filmed many years ago.
GUYS. DOWNTON ABBEY STARTS IN THE UK ON SUNDAY. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
@LolaLaBalc CAN WE TAKE BETS ON HOW MANY THINGS ARE GOING TO UPSET ~THE WEDDING~?
@LolaLaBalc HOLY CRAP I need to invite my mom over for a viewing party and tell her to bring the tea service!
@Dandyliongirl THAT WEDDING=CURSED.
IT'S COOL COUSIN MATTHEW, YOU CAN TRAVEL THROUGH REALITY TO MY WAITING BOSOMS.
@LolaLaBalc He is not really attractive to me outside of the context of that show.
Okay, two things that I needed to share:
First, I have friends who are Castle fans, and friends who are Firefly fans, but somehow none who are both(? how is this?), and I need someone to giggle with me over the fact that in the new Castle book, there is a pair of detectives named Malcolm and Reynolds. ::snerk::
Also, because I am a huge English nerd, I need someone to join me in my enjoyment of Loreena McKennitt's song versions of "The Lady of Shalott" and "The Highwayman." Because I love both poems and the songs are beautiful.
That is all. Happy Friday!
@Lexa Lane I am both a Castle and a Firefly fan, so I will giggle over it with you. :)
@Lexa Lane Me too! I love Nathan Fillion, so I love both by default! And Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog.
@Lexa Lane GIGGLING MADLY.
Also, HOW can you not be a fan of both? Castle's got so many Firefly references you'd think Joss Whedon wrote it.
Also also, those songs are my childhood. I remember listening to them repeatedly ON TAPE. Wham.
@Lexa Lane I am a Castle fan, and not a Firefly fan. But it's really weird; between my general geekyness, my love of both Fillion and Whedon, and my other viewing preferences, I totally should be a Firefly fan, and yet it ends up falling totally flat for me. The best explanation I've been able to come up with is 'because I don't give one millionth of a shit about the Old West, and hate how Real America is conceptualized as the Old West', but that really only accounts for maybe 15% of it.
I LOVE THOSE SONGS AND ALSO LOREENA MCKENNIT! She was my 13-year-old DREAM.
Have you ever heard Blackmore's Night? Similar music but more playful. I recommend it to ya!
@Lexa Lane Ahhhhh! Also Castle has at least one Firefly/Angel/Buffy writer that's why they go there. Also cuz I think Nathan Fillion asks them to.
Also THEY WERE PRETTY MUCH ALL HERE LAST WEEKEND FOR TIFF AND I MISEED ITTTTTTT!!!
@Lexa Lane Wait actually? That is FANTASTIC. I had no idea there were references in the books. That is... ugh *flails* Intersecting fandoms ftw.
Also I thought Firefly and Castle fans were mostly an intersecting demographic O.o Except for my grandmother, who has never heard of Firefly, but thinks Nathan Fillion is a dish...heh.
@Lexa Lane I would just like to tell you all that Nathan Fillion's arms are amazing in person. Also, he was super funny in the Fringe Show that I saw him in.
The last gift I bought was probably a necklace and some earrings for my baby sister's Sweet 16 at a street market. She put up a big stink and tried to get us to buy them for her birthday right then and there, but we refused. ....then I snuck back and bought them anyway. She's one of those kids who never really has a surprise gift because she's always there when they're purchased, so it was kind of neat. Even if she can be a pill.
GIFT QUESTION: One of my best friends sent me a blu-ray (since I have a player but only one blu-ray) for my birthday....but it's of something I already have the DVD boxed set for. I haven't said anything about it yet because I don't really know how to handle it. HALP.
What's the question? Just keep the blu-ray and gift the DVD to someone else... or sell it?
@Reginal T. Squirge I don't really know that the DVD is in gifting or selling condition. And do I mention to my friend that I already have it? I would imagine that's a bad thing, but I have a big mouth that way sometimes.
Oh, I see. Well, having a blu-ray copy is probably a better thing (unless it's a bad transfer; always check blu-ray.com for reviews) so you can mention that you already have it and thank the friend for upgrading you!
Related: Any time any of you want to buy me a blu-ray of some shit I already have on DVD, knock yourselves out.
@Reginal T. Squirge Am I the only one who can't tell the difference? We just got a PS3 and have tried some Blue Rays, and our new tv does HD stuff that the old one did not... and it all looks exactly the same to me.
Well, as mentioned above, some blu-ray transfers are really poorly done and can be even worse than the DVD release. But also... the picture quality improvement usually isn't that amazing. It's not like the jump from VHS to DVD. I'm more of an audiophile and the audio on blu-ray is miles ahead of DVD, so that makes it worthwhile.
All that said, certain blu-rays (like Saving Private Ryan (which I don't even like that much) and the Back To The Future trilogy) really have the ability to blow you away.
I could talk about lame home theater shit all day.
My friend is going to have her baby within the next week, according to her doctor.
Which is great! Except she's decided to give the baby up for adoption to a lovely gay couple who will absolutely love him and give him an amazing life, and she will be involved, but... my friend is going to go into the hospital in labor and come home without a baby, and I don't know if there's anything that I can do for her?
I'm definitely going to make her some delicious food that is easy to reheat, but in terms of being an emotionally supportive friend? I am clueless.
@thatgirl if you have time to spend with her, that might be enough. Just hang out with her.
@thatgirl you are a good friend for thinking about this! Maybe watching funny movies that have no kids in them? And just making sure that she knows you are there to talk if she wants to and also there to help her distract herself if that's what she wants. You can straight up tell her that, too.
@thatgirl Hm I don't know but keep in mind that this is her decision and it is apparently better for her to do this than to go into the hospital in labor and come home WITH a baby. She might feel a lot of things - loss, relief, disappointment, confusion. Just mostly be an active listener and don't assume she is going to feel any one way about the situation. Helping out with food and household stuff sounds awesome. Depending on how close you two are, consider just asking her how you can help, too.
I had a friend do this several years ago. I gave her a gift (a CD) and mostly just was receptive to listening. She had pics of the baby, letters, etc and I think it was nice of her to be able to talk about the baby.
@thatgirl hand holding, movie watching, hair experimenting, fancy nail art, good magazines and books, delicious culinary projects. comfort city.
@Emmanuelle Cunt Yeah, I think the not assuming how she'll feel thing is key here.
I applied to be a mentor scientist with Science Club for Girls again and they accepted me so I'll be doing that once a week starting in October. I also agreed to be on the crew for this movie so that's every week until filming ends in November, and also school started and I am working 30 hours next week and I am sleeping with three different people, so I guess what I am saying is I handwashed my underwear today rather than go to the laundromat.
All of this is good stuff! I am just overwhelmed that in a year I have gone from unemployed to part-time employed to being in school and working and volunteering and being social.
FUCK YEAH TO ALL OF THAT. Your life sounds AMAZING.
Today's picture reminds me of Do the Bambi! The top left corner, anyway.
We are meeting at Quesadilla at 4pm on Sunday, September 23 for a late lunch 'Pin-Up! See you there!
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll I will be there!
Also, anyone going to Hideout Block Party this week? Wanna stand RIGHT UP FRONT for Corin with me?
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll I will not (but in spirit?!)
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll I will try to come cause I really wanna meet the Chicago pinners! But that might turn out to be Family Outing Day. They're always getting in the way...
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll I'm not, buuuuuut given your close history with Billy Corgan, are you going to go check out his tea shop (???) in the suburbs?
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll you are such a rock and roll ken doll!
Oh, I don't go to the suburbs 'less I'm gettin' paid, son.
I'm on such an old movie kick lately. I've watched It Happened One Night (repeatedly), That Hamilton Woman (also repeatedly), Bringing Up Baby, Bachelor Mother, part of Monkey Business, and now I'm watching Fire Over England, which is timely, considering there is a marathon of Elizabeth I movies tonight on TCM.
please write me, Pin Pal!
@oh! valencia Um, if that is me, I totally have a letter for you and PROMISE TO SEND IT.
@oh! valencia on itttt (I do not know if you are my Pin Pal)
@oh! valencia I haven't heard from any of my pin pals lately. I have three now (one who I've exchanged a lot of letters with, one who's sent me a couple letters and one who hasn't written back yet) so I feel like it would be weird to ask for another.
Also, the last gift I got is fancy Scotch and a copy of the Three Word Phrase book!
Three Word Phrase! Someone DOES love you!
@frigwiggin Haha, actually I love someone! It's my gift for them. (But they introduced me to it, so actually it's an infinite circle of love. )
Aw man, in that case high-five for being a good friend! President Bird brightens up my life.
@Passion Fruit YAY Three Word Phrase! I ended up following Ryan Pequin's LIVEJOURNAL of all things way back in the day, when he decided to stop being an English student and go to art school?! He's always been awesome and I'm so stoked that now I can buy his book.
This is the face I have been making all goddamned week:
It is a good thing the work week is nearly over.
@wee_ramekin I feel that face. It is the face I have on my face right now.
@wee_ramekin this is my default face.
and what i'm thinking 99% of the time
@JadedStone I kind of want to enlarge that picture to the size of my actual face, print it out, paste it onto the back of a paper plate, glue a popsicle stick to the plate, and then whenever anyone does anything stupid, spin around really slowly with the paper plate-mask in front of my face.
But that's creepy and weird, right? Or is it...creepy and BRILLIANT?
@wee_ramekin if someone did that to me, I would indeed think they are both creepy and brilliant, and I think that's the perfect effect for it to have.
Let's all make ... !
@wee_ramekin Here, dear, this is for you.
@wallsdonotfall I cannot describe the noise that just came out of my mouth, but I do know that it was as involuntary as a reflex.
(i love you)
Also loonlets for wee_ramekin:
@wallsdonotfall What is this feeling I am experiencing? Is it...joy?
*Feels the grumpiness leech out of her body.*
*Drops dead immediately afterwards.*
@PistolPackinMama EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Look at it, just hitchin' a lil' ol' ride on it's mama's back! EEEEEEE!
@wee_ramekin I know, they just kill me every time.
And here is a link to the foud kinds of loon call for you: http://www.learner.org/jnorth/tm/loon/identification.html#Looney
@wee_ramekin SO MANY WEE BIRDIES, I DIE
This isn't a bird and I've forgotten how to directly post images (long day), but GERENUK.
@wee_ramekin Here is a small bird making the "are you fucking kidding me" facial expression:
@wee_ramekin: I also have AYFKM face this week but this thread of cute birds is helping. Also, these little fellows are hanging out in my yard. It's gotten cold already but at least the fall migration has begun.
@wee_ramekin I made that face all week at work, and I'm probably going to make it again next week. :[
I am assuming this is not animal cruelty because the person's just holding the bow in front of the owl, and the owl is not actually wearing the bow.
@Queen of Pickles: Either way, that li'l owl is killing that bow tie.
I <3 owls. This is the best FOT thread.
@Queen of Pickles
I was crying at my desk this morning (It's Monday now in Oz). Not anymore - that owlie!!!
Our power was out for six hours yesterday thanks to a transformer that exploded while I was in the bathroom. (It was a weird moment of thinking correlation=causation and wondering what my poop had wrought). I ended up going to Trader Joe's once it got dark (partially out of boredom, partially because I needed to run errands anyway) and now we have chocolate-covered banana slices in the freezer! This feels like a win.
@frigwiggin Also, today I got called a "miracle worker" at work, so that's nice. Anybody have stories of triumph lately? Or just general nice things?
@frigwiggin We submitted two separate annual reports at work this week, and it was my first time doing either of them and I was in charge of one and a big part of the other, and as far as I can tell we did them right! WOO!
Last presents I gave were:
-miniature elephant toy for Nephew #1 (just 'cause)
-miniature chimp toy for Nephew #2 (just 'cause)
-the Barnes & Noble "classic binding" edition of "Grey's Anatomy," "Collected Works of Edgar Allen Poe" and "Grimm's Fairy Tales" for Sister (birthday)
-Hudson River cruise for my parents (40th anniversary)
I am pretty proud of my gift-giving abilities and relish any opportunity to brag.
I just walked down the hall at work with the back of my skirt tucked up under my underwear!!!
@somuchsugar Did someone see and tell you?
I once walked through the entire Atlanta airport-from the farthest terminal to baggage claim-with my skirt in my underwear and no one told me.
@somuchsugar I once stood in line at a coffee shop for five or six minutes before someone told me. All of a sudden I understood why the guy next to me was so interested in making smalltalk.
@somuchsugar Ooooh, that happened to me in fifth grade. It was... scarring.
For anyone who has never heard Tig Notaro's bit on Taylor Dayne, I am going to enthusiastically suggest you listen to it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st4opohRZ_A
(it's a slow burn, but oh god, once it gets going)
@katiemcgillicuddy <3 Tig Notaro!
@hulia She is brilliant.
Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but I just have to tell you, I love your voice.
@katiemcgillicuddy I love your voice! (ETA: whoops, people beat me to this one with a stick)
@katiemcgillicuddy Hahaaa, I am losing it at my desk right now and I'm not even listening to it.
I heard it the other day on NPR on the way to somewhere, died laughing listening to it. And then heard it on competing-NPR on the way back and loved it so much that I died laughing listening to it again, two hours later. So satisfying.
@hulia @miss buenos aires Did you hear about her set a few weeks ago? Where she told everyone she had cancer? Louis C.K. said it was one of the few "truly great, masterful sets" he'd ever seen. She started out with, "Thank you, thank you, I have cancer, thank you, I have cancer, really, thank you". Jesus. Amazing.
@katiemcgillicuddy I know, it sounded so moving!
Oh! The actual topic! Recently I gave a re-gifted picture frame as a house warming gift along with a new pink mum. Better gift I gave before that was Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day to my sisters-in-law for their birthdays.
I'm going to preorder the iPhone 5 right now! My current phone is an old, slow iPhone 3G with a crack in the case that makes a horrible sound whenever the phone vibrates. I'M SO EXCITED!
(...and I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control and I think I like it.)
I'm so... SCARED!
@Reginal T. Squirge Are you scared of the iPhone or are you scared because I'm about to lose control?
It was a Saved By The Bell joke. I couldn't not make it.
@Reginal T. Squirge I see. I didn't get the joke because I am an Old.
So that "The Moment Before" article made me want to ask: how do I make out with some randoms? Okay, not totally randoms, but nice people who I could make out with without it being a relationship/date thing.
Seconded. Pinners, offer us your wisdom!
@mystique If you're not doing this already, talk to strangers. If you're nervous, pretend you're not, decide that your pride isn't worth too much at least for tonight, find someone you're attracted to, talk to them.
@mystique I have heard that flat out asking works. I have no experience in that because even imagining it as I typed was terrifying. I've had pretty good luck with the old smile/laugh/arm-touch combo. I usually have to approach the guy first, though, so it helps to have some commentary about what's happening around you to toss out. Also, alcohol.
@mystique How not-random do you want them to be? I had really good luck with the "locals" feature on the OK Cupid app for the Android (and I assume the Iphone as well). You can put up a post or bulletin or whatever that says what neighborhood you're in and what you're in the mood for (or just respond to someone else's post like I did). That might be too far toward the "random" end of the spectrum but it definitely worked for me when I was looking to break a long dry spell :)
@mystique I have no idea. I was always on the total randoms end of this spectrum, but maybe going out to a bar with some friends that are cute and single and making sure it's a mixed group would work? Then just find a cute available person, give them The Eyes, and see what happens? (I find bars are usually good places to start since they give a good, fun, relaxed vibe.)
@packedsuitcase seconded, this is how I used to meet people for random makeouts!
@packedsuitcase Yes, bars are where all of my random make-outs have happened. Liquid courage!
My best friend's birthday was last week and I gave her this ridiculous cowboy-themed cookbook because she just moved to Colorado. Then I realized she's a vegan now and won't be able to make any of the colorfully-named vittles therein.
@Amphora She can probably adapt some of them! Unless they're all just variations of "rootin' tootin' pork roast."
@frigwiggin I hope so! Baked beans should be okay, anyway, but this thing really blurs the line between Useful Thing and Gag Gift.
In case anybody was wondering, you CAN wear your prom dress after high school and still have it be pretty great. (I promise I'll shut up about it now. Also, probably going to give the dress away, because it's damn cute but not the most comfortable thing to wear and I feel pretty happy about giving it another hurrah before parting with it. Maybe I'll put it up on the Sharepin? Or maybe I'll just take it to Goodwill so some broke high schooler can give it love.)
@frigwiggin YOU ARE THE CUTEST EVER
Wow, you are actually the cutest ever! And, off-topic, your dress Bluey is ermahgerd best.
I wear my old year 12 formal (aussie Prom) dress to weddings and it's been 4 years since I first broke it in!
I think we should all consider it a badge of pride to still be able to fit into things we wore as teens, don't you?
Also: if you're done with it, be done with it - one last hurrah is totally worth it. :-)
PS: Bluey! She is beautiful!!!
PDX meet up this Saturday at The Rum Club, 7PM.
Ahoy, pinners! Two things:
1) WHO among you can get those little earbuds to stay in your ears while you run? I see people on the treadmill running happily with those things just sitting there. ??!!! Those things fall out of my ears even on the elliptical! Like, immediately. I always have to use headphones that are like...earbuds on a headband, you know? Which works fine, but I have been wondering about this for years. I must just be a small-eared person, I guess?
2) Semi-related: Who else is trying to lose weight right now? I am full force attacking my unwanted 10-20 pounds, but after 5 weeks of effort, no improvements. Well, I have gotten a little stronger from all my workouts, which is nice. But my clothes are not fitting any looser, which is the whole point. (I have a closet full of fabulous clothes that are all just a SMIDGE too tight, since I gained this weight slowly over the course of the past two years.) I believe I have the exercise part of weight loss down, but I must still be eating too much. But ugh, even thinking about trying to restrict my food intake makes me go on crazy binges. (Woo, shitty relationships with food/body image!) It's tricky. Advice, inspiration, commiseration?
@daaannngg Mine just stay in. I have no idea why.
Also, ME TOO. I've been getting stronger, but I don't appear to be getting any smaller, and the pudge around the middle is firmly staying put. WHAT IN THE HELL. I don't want to go on a crazy diet either, I'd rather adjust how I eat so I can sustain it long-term. Am beginning to think that I should do a food diary or some such for a week just to see what my calorie intake looks like.
(It doesn't help that my boyfriend is also on an exercise/weight loss kick and the weight is FALLING OFF HIM. Stupid boys.)
@daaannngg I just ordered the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred as an experiment. I am trying to just "tone up" overall. The only muscular part of my body are my calves and it sucks because I can't find cute boots! ANYWAY, I will full force attack with you if you want a fit buddy!
Also, I started doing menus (to keep my grocery budget in check) and planning meals for the week makes it SO MUCH easier to stay healthy. Plus it's fun to find recipes!
@daaannngg I have the same mental problem with binging at the mere thought of dieting! It's craziness, my mental cartwheels.
One thing that has worked okay for me is eliminating gluten. I'm not allergic to it, but I still find myself with more energy and fewer food cravings (and clearer skin!) when I'm avoiding wheat. I don't find it too limiting, since you can still eat most things except regular bread and pasta. Rice pasta is really quite good, and rice bread is pretty good too (especially toasted, not so much plain), and you can still eat corn, potatoes, etc. Maybe give it a whirl for a week and see how you like it.
Also cutting down on drinking... wha whaaaah.
@BucketsOfCool Oh man, my sister did the 30 Day Shred (NO WAIT, she did the 90 day something or other) and lost something crazy like 30 pounds. Now she's doing the 30 Day Shred and loves it. I want to do the 30 Day Shred as they shared their DVDs but I don't have weights.
I tried using cans of beans for a while but then I had to eat the beans.
All I know is it would be SO MUCH BETTER to wake up in the morning knowing that I could do Jillian Michaels versus Insanity, which gives me panic attacks because it is tooooo hard.
@daaannngg Try on other earphones? The only kind that work for me are the squishy earbuds. I don't know how else to describe them. Normal Apple headphones hurt like a bitch.
@BucketsOfCool I have been meaning to do this FOREVER but never quite get around to it. Possibly because I might not know at the beginning of the week if I'm going to be out late/overnight for work at any point that week, which makes planning to cook difficult? How do you do it? (How many meals a week, etc.?)
@daaannngg the 30 day shred is incredible and hard and I SWEAR TO GOD JILLIAN IS SLEEPING WITH THE ONE CHICK in the video and DO IT and you'll see what I mean. They give each other 'we're sleeping together' eyes.
Earbuds: UrbanEars Medis.
you can wear them for hours and they don't hurt and they don't fall out and LOOK AT ALL THE COLOURS
@daaannngg 1) Get the ones that hook around your ears! I have these: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0015AFOR8/ref=oh_details_o02_s00_i00 and I love them.
2) Yes and no? I got within 10lbs of my goal last year and then I let validation from outside sources go to my head. Now I'm hovering 10-15lbs away from my goal and trying to decide if it should be my goal at all (I based it on BMI). I feel pretty good, and I think I look pretty good, too...I also love food too much to get any stricter on my diet.
But anyway, changing your diet is definitely difficult. But I found that after awhile of eating better, it was actually how I wanted to eat. And my workouts are a whole lot easier when I'm eating what's good for me. I think counting calories and having a plan is the best way to go - at times that I stopped counting and/or ate whatever came to mind, I couldn't lose any weight. Drinking a TON of water helps, too. You can do it!
@daaannngg My body does not give up weight easily. I can switch out fat for muscle and visa versa, but that's it. I did manage to lose 15 lbs once but I had to fight my body and diet-brain every step of the way and it took me all of 2 months to gain it back. I've decided it isn't worth it. If I can't be skinny, I'll be strong instead and lift some big weights.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher It helps that I have a pretty set routine work-wise, but for unexpected/late night etc. THE SLOW COOKER. I am slowly but surely compiling a gmail folder of all of the best slow cooker recipes EVER. I use it 3x a week and then eat leftovers on the off days. I make stuff that cooks for up to 8 hours, but honestly, sometimes it is in there for 10 and it's still AMAZING. Slow Cooker, I will never quit you.
Also, figure out what staples work best for you. These will help with filling in your meals on days you don't (use your slow cooker) make something. My staples are things like frozen veggies, fresh spinach and cous cous. Seriously, if you want to talk menus and recipes I can do it forever.
@BucketsOfCool I really need to get me one of those. Winter Is Coming, and the thought of coming home to a stew or something? Ummmmmmgimme.
(If I buy a slow cooker, will you send me some of the best recipes you have?)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher aach,that pudge in the middle! get it off, get it off! i've been keeping a food journal, and it turns out when I'm busy i eat way too little, and then as soon as i have a few days that are less busy, i overcompensate & eat way too much. so yea, planning ahead & making menus is probably the way to go.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher That is the best thing ever, tired, cold, hungry and VOILA it's in your face before the door closes. And I would LOVE to share my recipes!
Just for reference: I have a 5-Quart Hamilton Beach slow cooker that I got for maybe $25? It makes a lot of food, but that's where the leftovers come in.
@BucketsOfCool Good 8 hour recipes, eh? I would LOVE to get some more. I hate the recipes that require 5 hours or something. That is the least convinient time ever.
My trick is to run the slow cooker at night. I'm at work 9+ hours a day, but I sleep 7-8 and then I just refridgerate it and heat it up that evening.
@MilesofMountains What's your e-mail? I'll send some your way. Running the slow cooker at night is a GREAT idea. I only did that once for a breakfast thing, but I like your plan better!
@daaannngg I started bike commuting at the end of April and I've been cooking at home more/going out less. I even signed up for a CSA that delivers vegetables to my door so I am FORCED to eat green things. But my body doesn't seem to be changing much. My ladyfriend has been rock climbing intermittently over the last few months and her muscles are starting to look really awesome, but you can't see mine and I exercise more than she does! What's the deal?? Ugh. In the past, I've lost/controlled my weight in a disordered fashion, and I don't want to do that anymore. It's just frustrating that that clearly worked and this ... doesn't... seem to. Maybe I'm impatient.
@daaannngg @JadedStone I have the Medi earbuds! They took a bit to get used to, but they are so much more comfortable and secure than traditional earbuds.
@daaannngg They do not stay in for me, I have ones that wrap around my ears. I look like a clown, but whatever.
As far as eating well and exercise: For years, I worked out hard, I ran, I played basketball, all that stuff. I definitely had points where I did jackshit, but even when I was good about it, I still had that pudge. At certain points I definitely was not in good shape AT ALL. And then one day I said...huh, maybe I should drink less beer (and soda). Fucking voila. I stick mostly to vodka clubs and cut out soda completely and I weigh what I did when I was 16. Which is crazy. I also signed up for a Tough Mudder (that I completed last Saturday, holy shit). Having a goal to work towards absolutely helped me keep up with eating right/working out. And to be clear, it's not about weight, it's about being healthy, but weight can be a good indicator. I am hungry ALL the time, so I try and drink a lot of water to curb it. I also cook a lot, which gives you a lot of control over the things you eat (and since there's not always time for that, I often will grill, for example, 4 pieces of chicken instead of 1 so that I'm set for a couple days). So, think about the foods/drinks that might be screwing you over, maybe sign up for a 5K, and be positive! If you want any recipe ideas, or general eating habit tips, I'm happy to help. (And ha, yeah, wooo, shitty relationships with food/body imagine! I'm with you on that.)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher If you (or anyone) want a ridiculously good Irish Stew recipe, I've got you. Also, all sorts of soups.
@katiemcgillicuddy Why yes, in fact, I do! Bring it onnnnnn.
And by the way, thanks to everyone in this thread, I just logged today's food (holy biscuit calories, Batman!) and promptly got my ass outside and went for a run. It's better than sitting on the couch!
@BucketsOfCool Oh yay! My email's lamerdelouest at gmail.com. My slowcooker is going to get so much action now!
@MilesofMountains ACTION IN A COOKING-SENSE I MEAN
@daaannngg Ugh, god, I need to get my ass in gear as soon as my dissertation is done next week and I've pounded a bottle of champagne and eaten a whole cake.
I found that I lost weight fairly quickly and comfortably by keeping a regimented diet wherein I tracked the calories every day on Mydailyplate (or whatever it is on LiveStrong.com) and not only did it make pretty explicit what i was taking in, it made me think about how I wanted my treats for the day. Also I am usually flat broke and do not really eat any other meat except fish. So basically, I ate a TON of canned tuna in various forms: drained with capers, oregano and vinegar on a salad, drained tuna fried in a teeeeeny bit of olive oil to a really nice brown crisp and sprinkled like bacon bits on salad with a hard-boiled egg or mixed with homemade tomato sauce and a bit of pasta...that sort of thing. Also, lots of protein in the morning is great! I will make an egg mcmuffin sort of thing where I scramble some eggwhite in a little microwave-proof dish for like, 40 seconds, and stick that shit on a low calorie, high protein (~4-5 grams of protein, that is) english muffin or sandwich thin. Sometimes I nuke the egg with some cheese or chiles, and with some fruit it keeps me full for hours, and is only like 150 calories for 15 grams of protein (if you only use the eggwhite). The tuna has around 35 grams of protein in a can, and then midday I'd eat a few almonds and a quinoa and lentil/bean salad. It's not the most exciting food, but they are all high protein, satisfying and are great platforms for different spices, and you're not depriving yourself of nutrients either. Also, really liking tuna is a plus.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher OK, I'll just post it here, cause fuck it, why not. I usually make way more than this, but here is a basic approximation:
I'm not great with specific recipes, but I tried-
2ish pounds of stew meat/leg of lamb, chopped (I usually go stew meat cause it's easy)
1-1/2 (maybe more!) bottles of Guinness
2-3 cartons of beef broth (I can't remember the amount that's in each, but the basic cartons you find next to the cans, and don't get sodium free, you're making Guinness stew for god's sake, we aren't counting Weight Watchers points with this, you will regret it)
Glass of red wine (if you want, and use decent shit, but you do not need anything better than "decent", Barefoot Contessa would tell you otherwise, but she's the smuggest chick on the planet, so screw her)
3 or 4 bay leaves
couple tablespoons of:
thyme (I ALWAYS end up adding more thyme, it cooks down really well during a slow cook and has an amazing flavor)
8 oz. tomato paste
1 tbsp. of red pepper flakes//whatever heat (if you want)
as many potatoes as you goddamn want (you're going to cook these in a separate pot with as many carrots, leeks, and onions as you want, radishes and parsnips are also nice with this, so it's up to you, but say 8 potatoes?)
equal parts chopped carrots, onions, whatever of those veggies you choose
1/2 stick to 1 stick butter
First of all, I change this up all the time, and I eyeball everything but I tried to give a decent approximation on ingredients. Sometimes I use way more Guinness, sometimes more broth, etc. It's important to cook this SLOW and taste it as you go.
Toss a good amount of olive oil in a large pot (or slow cooker) and brown all sides of the meat (might have to do it in shifts). Once this is done, toss in about 4 cloves of chopped garlic (or more or less depending on your taste) into the meat. Let it simmer a few minutes and then add beer, broth, wine, tomato paste, red pepper flakes, worcestershire, thyme, brown sugar and bay leaves. Let this cook, on low heat for say, 75 minutes, and if seems like it's not cooking fast enough, crank it a bit, but not too much. The slower the better.
Add salt and pepper slowly as you go. You can always add more, you can never take away too much. (And you can add whatever you want once it's finished).
While this is happening, drink a couple beers. Guinness is kind of not good for drinking in the states (I guess the shipping travel hurts) so buy something else. Maybe Fat Tire. Get a little bit drunk and then pre-cook your veggies. Start melting somewhere between a half stick and a stick of butter in another large pot, and as it melts add your (whatever your combo is) potatoes, radishes, onions (you have to add them, don't be one of those weird people who don't add onions, they will caramelize and be soft, you won't notice the texture, looking in the direction of of my idiot brother) celery, leeks, or carrots. Cook them til they are a nice brownish color, about 30 minutes, depending on how much you make. Make sure to keep stirring them while they cook.
Have another drink. Try and be drunk by this point. Once the veggies are cooked a bit (and the broth has cooked about 75 minutes), put them in the pot of broth, beer, etc. If you have "normal" sized big pots, you might have to use both. To remedy this, just add veggies to one pot and broth to another (use a smaller bowl to scoop from either big bowl, it's easier than it sounds).
Cook the final mash up on low/low medium for a few hours (assume 2 or 3, again, depending on amount. I try to cook it longer by cooking it reaaaaally slow. Slow cooker people, obviously...cook it slow. The way to know it's good to eat it by cutting open a few larger pieces of meat and seeing how tender they are). remove bay leaves (but I mean, I never remember, people should know not to eat them, right?)
Serve it with sourdough bread because, of course serve it with sourdough bread. Eat it outside when it's a little bit chilly and you're wearing that hoodie that is so old and ratty, but you won't throw out because god, it's so comfortable. Put your hood up. Finish bowl. Locate beer. Get another bowl. Enjoy.
(It's even better the next day).
@katiemcgillicuddy I feel like this would feed me for the winter. Must make immediately, or as soon as it gets a little colder and I locate the proper beerage. Many, many thanks.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Happy to post it. Cut it in half if you need, I just happen to (very often) cook it for many, many people at a time (football season/tailgating) and so I've adjusted it over the years. Anytime you see an ingredient that seems like too much, just cut it down. The slower you cook it, the more time you have to adjust it. You can always slow down and add ingredients/seasoning as desired.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher And if you are (relatively) short on time, skip the wine, or only add a few splashes. Always seems to take longer to cook down than the beer. Still fucking delicious.
@LolaLaBalc omg, canned tuna! that's a good one! i have been a vegetarian for ages, but in trying to lose weight i've decided to reintroduce fish & greek yogurt & egg whites into my diet, if only temporarily. i suck at cooking fish still, but canned tuna is genius, especially if it really does have that much protein. yes! lunch tomorrow = pile of kale with glob of canned tuna on top. dressings/flavoring TBD.
@Summer Somewhere yeah, i've resigned myself to the fact that the weight i want to lose will come off slowly. the healthy recommendation is 1-2 pounds a week. same as you, i've lost weight much faster in the past by abusing my body. but this time i just want to be happy and healthy and sane!
@daaannngg It's great for easy protein. Seriously, give frying it a whirl. I like mine to get browned, and sometimes throw some chiles in to fry as it cooks. i use a nonstick pan so I can use less oil to keep it from sticking and it's just so good! Goes great with artichoke hearts too. Salmon is pretty easy to cook too, especially if you wrap it in foil and steam it in the oven. I am not a big fan of the taste of salmon usually, but I love it oven-steamed with fresh ginger, chiles, cilantro and soy sauce, with a few drops of sesame oil. Chuck it in the oven for like 20 minutes and you've got yourself a quick dinner.
@daaannngg My bf went to our local running shop and they recommended YurBuds, which he now swears by. They make earbuds but also sell modifiers that you can use with any earbud headphones, which is what my bf has: http://www.amazon.com/Yurbuds-Earbud-Enhancer-Size-6/dp/B003HVVJC2/ref=sr_1_10?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1347719574&sr=1-10&keywords=yurbuds
Not sure about the sizing, but if you have access to a specialty runners' shop, it might be worth it to see if they have them.
@daaannngg Tweaked Audio makes the BEST earbuds, I am in serious lurve with mine. http://tweakedaudio.com/ I had to get something noise-cancelling because of my loud neighbors and their loud car alarms and their loud dogs (seriously Brooklyn, I heart you but WTF). They work like a charm!
@JadedStone NATALIE?! She is definitely sleeping with Natalie. Also Natalie's body is... everything I want mine to be.
And @daaannngg as far as diet goes, I have had a lot of success cutting down carbs - not going full Atkins or anything, but a low glycemic/kinda Mediterranean thing. It doesn't feel like I'm denying myself much, it's just a matter of substituting brown basmati rice for white rice, a salad or lettuce wrap instead of a sandwich (though I can't eat large amounts of leafy greens right now so RARGH!), that sort of thing. It's the only change I've ever made to my diet that didn't feel terribly restrictive but also made a difference in my weight loss.
I <3 sparkpeople.com for food tracking. You put in you weight loss goal, and it gives you a calorie range, and then you can use their meal plans, or make your own (ahead of time or not). It tracks protien and carbs and things all seperately, and you can track lots of nutrients too if you want. Makes it very easy to see if you're on track! When I try to only exercise for skinniness, I just get hungry and eat more and then get bigger instead of smaller...
@daaannngg I have been having a very similar weight issue. I have also gained about 15 pounds over the last year or two and I'd like my clothes to go back to fitting the way they used to. I assume my weight gain is some combination of being over 25, losing my teenager metabolism, going on birth control pills, and drinking all the wine and beer. I have been kiiiind of trying to loose it for the last few months, but dieting gives me the sads so I haven't really made much progress. I am going to try and load up a bit more on the exercise and stuff and keep being a bit more cautious of portion sizes and see how that fares.
I started 6 grad school applications today (applied anthropology) and now I am TIRED. Thinking about all of these things and trying to keep it all straight is exhausting. Grad school apps are way harder than undergrad. But I am excited to (hopefully) start this new phase in my life soon!
@sadiejo Good luck and congrats on getting them all done!
This is probably more of a Billfold question, but I think being a Lady is a big part of what’s making me crazy. Hairpinners, I need a pep talk!
So a little less than a year ago I left a job with no room for advancement to take a job that pays a ton more money.
Aaaaaaand… new job sucks so hard. There is a lot of dysfunction and interpersonal ugliness in the department that wasn’t obvious during the interview process. I kid you not: Co-workers come into my office every day, shut the door, and complain about each other with bile and vitriol that most people reserve for politicians.
Add to this that my partner just got an AMAZING job in a nearby city about a month ago. So now I have more than one co-worker asking me regularly (with that crazy-eyed, please-don’t-leave-me-here-with-these-people look) whether I am happy here and if I am going to stay now that Partner works in the city. One of them went so far as to ask—in front of our mutual boss!—whether I was applying for jobs closer to my partner’s office. I always change the subject as smoothly as I can, but I feel horrifically guilty right now.
Because I have two job interviews in the city in the next two weeks.
And I can’t even imagine how it will feel to resign after less than a year on a team that needs my help so desperately, pays me handsomely and treats me like I can solve the world's problems. My boss gave me a GLOWING six-month review that basically made me sound like the best thing that ever happened to this office. I feel so heartless and ungrateful for wanting to leave an easy, well-paid job that most people would jump at the opportunity to have.
I suspect that a Dude would just do whatever he wanted without worrying about it. As a Lady, I am feeling preemptive guilt and shame for an event that might not even happen. Ugh.
@blueblazes I am going to hop on this thread for reasons. (Also, girl. I know that feel. All, ALL of those feels.)
@blueblazes okay do NOT feel horrifically guilty that your co-dependent co-workers are crazy and can't function without some relative sanity (i.e. you).
I deal with something very similar to this - maybe not THAT level of bile and vitriol, but all of my coworkers in my very small office regularly tell me that I can't leave because they will go crazy without my positive energy (#BRAGGYBRAG)
But like, they don't listen to ANY of my suggestions for improved organization, or improved team work, or anything, so it's kinda like, wellllllll fuck. I can clearly see the things that make this place so disorganized and chaotic and they are so easy to fix except that the top supervisor here is so set in her micro-manage-y we do things THIS way ways.
Anyways I feels ya. And you go do those job interviews and rock the shit out of them. On your exit, if you really feel like even more so earning that glowing review, maybe you can make a big list of improvements they can implement, or help them interview your replacement, or help train your replacement or whatever.
@blueblazes For several years I loyally worked my ass off for a dysfunctional company. I worked so hard I sweat, bled, cried and even vomited. I was treated like I was indispensable. (Except for the paycheck part!) I was praised and assured my job was safe, while I worked extra hard as we transitioned to new ownership. And then, when I got everything set up and running like a well-oiled machine, I was laid off.
I say: You gotta do what you gotta do. Fuck knows they will. No guilt!
@redheaded&crazie THIS!!! "I can clearly see the things that make this place so disorganized and chaotic and they are so easy to fix except that the top supervisor here is so set in her micro-manage-y we do things THIS way ways."
@punkahontas Yep, loyalty to companies is seldom worth it, because very few are loyal to you. Believe me, if you stopped being useful they'd drop you immediately. Apply for new jobs without guilt and when you get one, the only thing you will owe them is to give them a decent amount of notice and to get your work in order so the next person can pick up your duties.
@blueblazes It is so hard to not feel guilty, I know (as a lady too) whenever I change jobs it has always SUCKED telling them, no matter how much older I get... I just always have to tell myself "A guy would never let this bother him!" and "it's JUST WORK. Just BUSINESS!! Nothing personal!" It is hard I know.
@MilesofMountains I think I am going to tape this to every surface in my house. And then desperately hope I have this problem in the near future.
I am trying to take the "LD" out of my LDR now that both of our leases are up, and when we finally, finally picked which of our two cities we wanted to live in (mine), I got three interviews for jobs in the other one and now we are reliving our previous three months of agonizing over life choices!
Also I feel weird that my first comment is complaining about my problems but it has driven me to madness and delurking. Hi Hairpin, I heart u.
@mittens blum You should probably move to either a city near where a former roommate lives, or to the city the former roommate would like to move to someday. Would either of these cities fit that description?
It's my last day of work before I get paid (poorly!) to just write for a year! I go on a week of vacation tomorrow! Woooooooo hooooo!
Have fun! Where are you going?
@Rock and Roll Ken Doll San Francisco!
Say hi to Alixana! She moved there last month and I MISS HER SO MUCH! She has a new job now, so she hasn't been posting.
Gentleman and I are signing a lease on a GORGEOUS APARTMENT in the BEST NEIGHBORHOOD with an AWESOME LANDLADY today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@slutberry Oooh, where?! Congrats!
@Cat named Virtute It's a few blocks away from Sherbrooke metro-- about two blocks west of Park Lafontaine, above Cherrier. SUPER IDEAL.
I am going to a big clothing swap for charity. I have always wanted to organize one of these, but wasn't sure it would work without hurting someone's feelings about size.
I am psyched to get to do this for a good cause!
1) I have been sick all week and now I'm well and I want to go oooooooooout! But all my friends are being lame so I'm considering going out alone to a cute bar in my hood. But I kinda suck at drinking alone because I get self-conscious so I drink too fast just to have something to do with my hands? So I end up shit-faced after an hour and a half and in no state to make new friends. Considering drinking wine and reading comic books at home instead.
2) I have also been fretting about a dude situation all week that is definitely wrong and partially of my own making. I don't want y'all to think I'm evil so I won't go into the details, but basically I'm getting major mixed messages from a dude that I should really know better by now than to fall for.
3) Facebook tells me that the studly popular dude from my high school who was always incongruously nice to me (I was a big old nerd) is still a total hottie, fifteen years later. At least there is some justice in the world :)
@Mo Cuishle You could take the comic books to the bar?
@Mo Cuishle Take the comic books to the bar!
@Mo Cuishle Don't be self conscious, dude, nothing more mysterious than a woman alone at a bar.
@katiemcgillicuddy "Don't be self conscious, dude, nothing more mysterious than a woman reading Transmetropolitan alone at a bar."
Fixed that for you!
@frigwiggin Yes, thank you, my mistake.
@katiemcgillicuddy and @frigwiggin Ha! I actually went and read The Virgin Blue which SUCKS ASS, I'm sorry if anyone likes that book but god I am hating it right now. My brother's adorable girlfriend gave it to me for Christmas and I was feeling guilty for not even cracking it open. Now I'm just trying to finish it so I can read my book club's current pick, Slaughterhouse Five. GOOD SHOW BOOK CLUB.
Time for sushi with pinners!!!!!!!!!
what are your favourite rolls? I already know I'm getting the spicy salmon and probably whatever they call their dynamite roll with eel and avocado on top
need to throw in some more exclamation points here
SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI
I want it so bad. Like...so bad.
I like spider rolls (softshell crab) and tekka maki is good as a sort of palate cleanser between bigger, more complex rolls. I love anything with eel but have been trying to cut back because it's not very sustainable, sadface.
@frigwiggin Also anything with flying fish roe because I like the way those little fuckers pop.
Oh god...boyfriend wants to get Mexican food tonight but I don't know if I can resist the siren song of the Japanese restaurant down the street.
@redheaded&crazie BBQ salmon skin rolls! Salmon and green onion! Basically anything salmon, really. Also, the one I go to has carrot and pickled ginger rolls that are tasty.
@frigwiggin I had spider rolls! They were good.
@frigwiggin i saw your comment about unsustainable eels and felt really bad but not bad enough to not order it. sigh. I don't get sushi that often though??? Maybe when I go to my favourite sushi place I'll get something eel-less but this was a comparison shopping exercise! (my favourite sushi place won but the place we went was good too!)
@redheaded&crazie There's a sushi place here in town called Ru Sans that does a "Rising Sun" roll, which is like... a really big salmon/tuna/avocado/cream cheese roll that is coated in crispy wontons and they send it to you with aioli and ohmahgawditisthegreatest
@redheaded&crazie Sushi has kind of been ruined for me since there was a place in San Jose that had all-you-can-eat for like $18 with a bunch of fancy rolls that were pretty-good-not-just-for-a-buffet.
Just leaving this right here: http://shophautespot.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/men-suits-20101.jpg
Hint...Man in a suit.
@sovereignann@twitter: I have most of a suit, but I'll be darned if I can invent some reason to ever wear it and not look completely ridiculous.
become a lawyer?
Ill shoes, too.
Open door leading to attic for 5 seconds. Cat wakes up out of nap, runs up there. Spend 10 minutes trying to coax cat out with open bag of catnip and clicking sounds. Cat emerges, gets caught, acts deeply offended that she doesn't get the catnip.
@LacunaKale Cats. Just....cats.
@LacunaKale This happens every time our cat makes it down to the basement. Little asshat.
@frigwiggin To quote Chief Wiggum, "What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery? "
@LacunaKale This has started happening with my cat at the door into the hallway of my apartment building... she acts like she's coming to the door to greet me, I reach down to pick up my groceries, and she's halfway down the hall.
I was a complete and total failure as a scientist this week, mostly because of other people's crappy crappy code documentation. And because I am super-lazy and tired from commuting.
Now I want to crawl into a dark cave and spend the entire weekend playing something. Maybe finally playing a thief in Skyrim. Or maybe trying to finish up Braid. Or maybe the Deus Ex: Human Revolution DLC. Or maybe the $2 copy of the original Deus Ex I picked up on Steam today. Or maybe just ME2 again. Or...something else??
Hairpin people! What should I PLAY?
@TheBourneApproximation Portal! Portal 2! ME3! You've probably already played all of those things.
@Summer Somewhere You know, I actually haven't played Portal 2! And to be honest, I really really really want to. And I grabbed it during the Steam sale this summer. So it's sitting on my computer waiting to be played. But I've carefully set it aside for a time when I'm either really depressed and need the pick-up, or for when I feel like I deserve a reward.
Damn it, why can't all games be as good as Portal and the Mass Effect series? And why did I play that most recent ME3 DLC so damn quickly? Make more naooo, BioWare! Or make Dragon Age 3! I don't care, do either, just make more of this stuff!
@TheBourneApproximation OMG! Play Portal 2 right now! It's so much bigger than the first game, and so lovely. When you're done we can talk about my weird Stockholm Syndrome/crush on GLaDOS.
@TheBourneApproximation omg are you me? D:
I vote for trying to finish up Braid or playing Skyrim...mostly 'cos I'm going to be playing Skyrim tonight and I am also playing a thief!
@TheBourneApproximation I also recently started replaying Skyrim as a thief! A Bosmer archer-thief, to be more specific. She's somewhat badass, but between using light armor and doing most of her leveling through stealth skills, she... gets her ass handed to her by bandits chiefs way too often.
@Quadrophenia I play as a warrior because I hate the combat and I would rather button-mash. I'm pretty good in sneaking in heavy armor, though.
Whee! It's time for book club. We read The Night Circus. It was lovely.
@charlesbois Is that worth buying, or is it a library book? I couldn't decide this summer. >.O
@Shayna I got a library book, but I definitely think it's worth buying though, even just in paperback. Our bookclub unanimously liked it, even though not everyone was blown away by it.
I got your Friday jams - found this streaming radio station, Radio Monte Carlo. It's italian, lots of lounge and strange, interesting covers (Diana Krall on Purple Rain?) - http://www.rmc2radio.net/
@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS I tried, but the jazzy-cheese cover of Radiohead's Creep was just too silly.
I had such a dopey day of work. I'm PMSing and did a lot on my days off and it caught up with me HARD today. So glad to be home. I'll miss you, porn store! Until tomorrow! I will be better, I promise. And omg, am I getting a UTI? I haven't gotten a UTI since the First Summer Of All The Sex Ever. Also, mosquito bite on the ball of my foot. Holy crap.
Mister Peddler is heavily sunburned and exhausted and also happy in this new job.
Smut feedback always welcome. Hope the writing accountability gods don't catch me because my ass has been so slow the last few weeks.
HELLO PIN! TELL ME ABOUT THE HOT PEOPLE YOU HAVE TOUCHED LATELY!
@Porn Peddler A couple of weeks ago I had to correct a guy who thought UTIs were STDs. "I'm going to get a UTI!" "No, you aren't, I don't have that!"
I did not get one and I hope you don't, either!
@Porn Peddler As always, the hottest person I have recently touched is my boyfriend. I have zero complaints about this.
I'm so glad that Mister is enjoying his job! The best sunblock I ever encountered is this gel stuff that I can't remember the name of. It was super gross (slimy!), but it WORKED. If he's looking for a sunblock, that is. In the meantime, get some aloe/lidocaine gel. Works wonders.
@Porn Peddler Oh! That's what I need to do tomorrow! I need new batteries for my small vibe. My big one only has one setting (with variable speed) and damn do I miss the 5th setting on my small one.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Bullfrog?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I second this. The hottest person I have touched is my boyfriend. Because literally I am constantly amazed at how gorgeous he is.
@ayo nicole Merely sexually associated, not sexually transmitted! Stupid dude!
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I've been slathering him in aloe regularly. Poor dude is redddddddd. Also you + @The Lady of Shalott aren't boyfriends the hottest? Last time Mister Peddler was away for a weekend, he came back and I was like WHAT. WHAT YOU'RE SO HOT WAIT THAT'S MINE, MY BOYFRIEND IS SO HOT THIS IS MADNESS
@packedsuitcase Possibly? I think it had a weirder name than that. SOL BAR, that was it. Funky stuff.
@Porn Peddler Also, boyfriend has been getting into fitness lately. He has been doing weights. (You feel me, ladies who are into arms?) I CAN NOT HANDLE IT.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher ARMS. ARMS. ARMS ARE WONDERFUL. Mister is gonna have amaaaaaazing arms soon. AS IF THEY WEREN'T GORGEOUS ALREADY. arms. arms. omg.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Fnghghghghgh MY BOYFRIEND, SO HOT. I constantly exhort him to take his shirt off around the house. Because oh my god I just want to look at him. Always.
He works out two or three times a day! Today he ran a 10k trail run and came in twelfth of 350 participants!
@Porn Peddler ARMS! OMG. Dudefriend has great arms, and apparently they are very small right now? He is getting back into the gym, and he is so happy and says that next time I see him (February, if not sooner) they will be huuuuuuuuuge. Which basically means I will be ripping his clothes off of him at every opportunity, including when we are in public.
@The Lady of Shalott That IS hot! Yay you!
My boyfriend would also be the only hot person I have touched this week, but I have been getting home crazy-late from work, so have not gotten to touch him as much as I would like! Quite unfortunate, really.
@The Lady of Shalott What is it with the hot boyfriends and their working out? Mine is the same. He BUILT HIMSELF A GYM IN MY BARN*. And when he is done, he is so grossly covered in sweat. I used to think that the pictures of moist dudes in fitness magazines were just, you know, artistic license? No. That is a real thing. A real thing which results in hotness.
*My dad helped him build a pull-up bar? I have mixed feelings about this.
@Girl Named Jack Truefax: when I work out/run/whatnot, I do not get all glisten-y type sweaty. I turn really weird colors (either dead white or RED) and have ALL the boob/back/ass sweat. I feel amazing, but I look like warmed-over death. Sexy.
@Girl Named Jack Dude, my boyfriend was on leave and went to visit his parents for three weeks, and since they don't have a pull-up bar in their home (because they are normal), he did pull-ups ON THE EXPOSED BEAMS OF THEIR GARAGE.
Also in the close-quarter combat course he took last year, he was sparring with a dude and accidentally broke one of his ribs.
@ayo nicole Well, they are for me. I still have not touched any hot ppl. BUT I bought a fancy vibrator! Like, I"m talking an over $150 silicone Rabbit deal for like $36.
EDIT re: looking notsexy when working out: Ran this morning, came back BLOTCHY. Suuuuuuper hot. Please tell me I'm not the only one who ends up this way.
@Porn Peddler A week ago, I spent a lovely day with an extremely gorgeous man! We ate street cart food, lay in the grass, talked about our ancestors and how we wanted to be remembered, and then went back to his fancy apartment and had surprisingly great first-time sex.
Normally it takes me a while to warm up to someone's body - the first time is usually great for all sorts of reasons with someone, but "effortless orgasms" usually isn't on the list. But THIS DUDE. It... was incredible. And yet, I don't think we're going to be very serious! It's not what I'm looking for, it's not what he's looking for, he seems to be constitutionally incapable of falling for someone (he told me), and he doesn't make me laugh (which is how I fall for someone). So, we both don't want to, and probably won't be able to, fall for each other.
But. The sex. Was as good as sex with someone you're not in love with can be. And he's GGG, playful, good-humored, listens, and talks about interesting things!
@Porn Peddler I know you mean TOUCHED, but what about just touched?
I went to a nerd convention and Adam Baldwin and Eddie McClintock shook my hand and Nicholas Brendon hugged me?
Eddie McClintock is so cute that I may need to start watching Warehouse 13.
@Rookie I vote that this counts
@Porn Peddler New ladyfriend continues to be delightful. I basically jumped her when we got back to her place after a party last night, and then we spent alllll morning in bed snuggling and laughing and watching music videos and Community. Also we made out a little on our friend's landing because we are bad friends/just want to touch each other alllll the time.
@Girl Named Jack Mmmmmm I bought by fiance a pull-up bar for Christmas. It has been excellent for his arms. Also for his back muscles. Mmmmmmm sexy back muscles. It has also been good for my arms, but that is not the point of this thread ;)
It is my BIRTHDAY and I was going to spend the first part of my evening watching the last two episodes of Mad Men while drinking whiskey out of a glass tumbler a la Don Draper, but then I realized I didn't own any glass tumblers, so now I'm drinking whiskey out of a coffee mug with a bunny on it, but it's okay. Later there will be s'mores and kitties. Since it's my birthday I get all the goods things, and I would like to share them psychically with all 'Pinners. Brace yourselves for the transmission.
@BattyRabbit HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
"drinking whiskey out of a coffee mug with a bunny on it"
I think Don would approve. ALSO BAPPY HIRTHDAY
I realized this week that I need to stop keeping my phone plugged in by my bed. It's almost like I wake myself up in the middle of the night to check if I got any interesting texts or emails, and that is Terrible.
Okay, while I am in the still at my current job but actively looking for a new one closer to Dudefriend situation, I need ways to cure my lack of motivation. Help! Fun games? Suggestions? I like my boss a lot and really don't want to screw her over (seriously, my super jaded coworker and I were talking about if we won the lottery, we'd let her know and keep working until they found a replacement, even though our initial reaction would be "I want to leave now!"), so I want to be a good employee, but I want to be in the UK already!!!
Does anyone have any totally adorable/geeky apron suggestions? I am in need of a new apron, and want the new one to be adorable, but am not actually all that familiar with all the adorable/geeky merchandise hideaways on the internet (because otherwise, I tend to buy all of the things.)
@papayalily I have been in love with this one forever: Darth Vader!
@papayalily Baking is science for hungry people!
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily)
Try thinkgeek they have a few.
This is probably a billfold question but....
I'm on a Spending Freeze! What are the best/funnest/cheapest ways to pass the time? I can't knit and read ALL THE TIME. Advise me 'Pinners!
@lasso tabasco People watch in the park! Go for a walk. Rearrange your furniture. Movie marathon. Pot luck dinner with friends (you can almost always figure out something from the foods in your fridge/pantry). Ummm...
@lasso tabasco Bike rides! If there's a college campus nearby (and if it's a pretty one), go walk around! If you don't live in a cultural desert like I do, check out if any museums or things have free nights?
@packedsuitcase Oh my gosh people watching at the park would be AWESOME if I didnt live in Nebraska. There aren't that many crazies at the park. Its mostly just people running and breathing.
@frigwiggin Also, if you can believe it, I am one of those rare unicorns that never learned to ride a bike! Well, I can go straight but don't really know how to stop, or avoid obstacles like small children and things.
@lasso tabasco You could learn! Find a friend that has a bike and have them teach you.
@frigwiggin Yes, but knee pads! Helmets! Wrist things! Also, terror.
@lasso tabasco I bike-commute to work, and I only wear a helmet! You'll probably fine without pads or wrist things, especially if you take it easy/learn on grass or whatever. It's good to terrify yourself once in a while!
But for something more low-impact you could learn new card games or something?
@frigwiggin 500 rummy is my life!!! must have a card party! PERFECT!
@lasso tabasco (Steal TV) I mean WHAT. Start a blog/write. Volunteer someplace cool.
@lasso tabasco I took a Bike Mechanic seminar a couple of weeks ago, and the instructor suggested, instead of using training wheels to help you learn (lol), to take off the pedals. This helps the learner get used to the bike's trajectory and balance.
@lasso tabasco: Find an exercise that you enjoy? See if museums in your town do a free Friday (or what have you)? Adopt a doggy and walk it? Learn to bake bread (flour, salt and yeast are cheap and you have to eat, so)?
@laurel Better than adopting a doggie (because they are expensive little beasties - I just spent $100 on vaccinations), volunteer at a shelter and walk the doggies who are waiting for their forever home!
I packed a sandwich for my boyfriend's lunch this morning, does that count as a gift? I feel it should.
I've been dealing with the project manager from hell. She hates me for reasons I don't understand, since I've never even met her. She's finally given up trying to get me taken off her projects, but this week she decided I can't be trusted to manage my project section on my own and is forcing me to find room in the budget to hire some random contractor to be my babysitter. I think my boss is ready to kill her, but he says he's given up fighting and I have to do what she says.
I need some input on what to do with a professor who is just Wrong all the time. Sometimes, she's wrong in her subjective analysis (TOTAL lack of intersectionality, and often a lack of actual evidence), but I acknowledge that subjective analysis is subjective. And then other times, she is more factually wrong, like about if Joan of Arc died before or after the English Reformation. So, is it better on the exams to say things she wants to hear and has told us in class, or to say things I think/know but that differs from what she has told us?
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily) Assuming this prof isn't the dept chair, I think you talk to your department chair. Being factually incorrect happens to the best of us sometimes (people misspeak, even when they know better, etc), but it's not a good sign when someone is doing it on the regular.
@Blushingflwr Ok, so how do I handle that without sounding... uppity? I suppose, and sort of like I know so much better than the professor and disrespectful?
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily)
Big question: will your exams be graded by a teaching assistant, or by Prof Wrong herself?
If it's a teaching assistant, go to the TA's office hours and feel out what she thinks about these kinds of errors. The TA can't actually say that Prof Wrong is Wrong, of course. But try something like, "Prof said this and it made me think of this other class where we talked about intersectionality..."
If the TA is on the Wrong Train, she will say something like, "That's not really relevant here." In which case, just regurgitate the lecture and readings on the exams.
If, however, the TA gets excited and encouraging, then she also probably thinks Prof Wrong is wrong, and will be happy to see a bit of your own interpretations.
If Prof Wrong is grading the exam, then just leave out details where she made factual error. If she got those details wrong, then she obviously doesn't think they're important, so skip them. And basically stick to the perspective of the lecture and readings.
Papers are a different story. If you're writing a real research paper, then you have plenty of room to bring in your own analysis, even if it goes beyond the scope of the lecture. But maybe briefly discuss it with the prof in office hours before turning it in.
@lalaura We HAVE a TA, and I don't know if she will be grading the exams (it's not stated in the syllabus) but I assume that if you have a TA you would make them do the grading of exams? So, I can go talk to her and feel her out; that's a great idea!
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily) "Dept Chair: I wanted to discuss with you some concerns I had about Prof Y. I've really enjoyed hir classes, but I've noticed some factual errors. [insert errors here, with dates they were made, if possible, and reliable sources that prove the prof wrong]. I wasn't sure the best way to deal with this, so I thought I would ask for your advice."
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily) Speaking as a TA: go to the department chair. I know that talking to the TA seems like it's probably the easy way out, but please don't do it--the TA grades according to a key given by the professor in most classes and will mark you wrong which means that you'll have to go to the department chair ANYWAY.
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily) Yeah, the TA is a good idea (I went to a University that didn't have them, so I hadn't thought about it).
@Jenn@twitter Duly noted!
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily) Co-signing @lalaura's response. As you said, the subjective stuff is not something you can correct, per se; you can only add your own analysis to the discussion.
The fact-based errors are likely unimportant and should be glossed over if possible, as @lalaura said. However, if it becomes unavoidable, go with the documentable truth. It's possible, even likely, that your professor simply misspoke or forgot during the class. When it comes to your grading, it's easier to back yourself up with reputable sources rather than "But in class you said..."
I personally wouldn't bring in the department chair until/unless it impacts your grade. Other than that, wait for course evaluations.
@Springtime for Voldemort (formerly papayalily) so based on my dept, the chair is kind of useless, and barely answers emails. Does your course have a coordinator if it is multisection? Do you have an undergrad chair? (or grad chair. that is the person you want, not the overall chair). Just one level higher...
Also, TAs have weird amounts of power and discretion and people seldom care about them. So, depends on your dept.
And course evals don't really matter unless you're in a small liberal arts college. If you're at a big state school, or a research heavy institution, your prof is not hired for their teaching. And if they are an adjunct, they are hired because they will work for an obscenely low amount of money. /end rant.
@theotherginger I am at a big state research school, and it's very, VERY clear that teaching skills are not valued here. And the professor is probably retiring in the next couple years, and is very highly respected and has lots of prestigious recognitions in her department. It's also not entirely clear who I would talk to - while she's listed under the sociology department, her office is in the Women's Studies cottage, and the class is crosslisted between Women's Studies and Sociology. And the stuff she's getting wrong is the history (in a very 'my god, have you even taken the 101? Or ever TALKED to a medievalist or early modernist??' kinda way), which is not really her area of research. I think it's irresponsible of her to be claiming to be knowledgeable and have researched an area she clearly hasn't (just like I think it's irresponsible to claim to have looked at studies on how humans learn and various notetaking methods when she clearly means she read this story on NYT/NPR...), but while it weakens my ability to trust her skills and judgement on her own research, I doubt anyone with any power would see it the same way. And yeah, adjuncts are paid shit, and it is some fucked up bullshit.
I finally shoved myself into therapy this week, and it was better than I was expecting. I cried a decent amount and that felt crappy, but the next day I felt pretty good about taking a step in a healthy direction. It ALSO felt good to hear a professional say "yup, that sounds like depression" so I can stop feeling like I'm sucking at life for no reason. Yayyyy professionals!
@Changeling yes! a good therapist can make things so much better! i tried several before finally finding one that i truly respected and clicked with. it IS so nice to have someone say, no you don't just suck at everything! or, maybe you do right now, but there's a reason for it, and let's work on it.
For those who know ahead of time, what's everyone drinking tonight? I am vodka/seltzer/lime, possibly a Magic Hat or two.
@katiemcgillicuddy Water. Because my friends have all forgotten about me (kind of melodramatic, but also kind of true).
@katiemcgillicuddy MAGIC HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
I'm not even going to be drinking Magic Hat, but it is my go-to beer. I've got a couple of different amber lagers in my fridge, so prob some of that. Or possibly a dark IPA!
@packedsuitcase oh dude i'm drinking my beers alone.
@katiemcgillicuddy Gin and grapefruit soda (likely by myself while doing laundry... that's ok, right?)
@katiemcgillicuddy WATER! because I will be in Hermit Mode. My liver will be pleased, as will my wallet.
@packedsuitcase Ugh, they sound like they are being juiceboxes. As an Irish girl, I can tell you the whole "can't drink alone" thing is nonsense. I am going to my friend's new place to hang with her and her 6 year old (we'll see how "Stuart Little" sounds after 1 or 4 drinks). So that's not exactly glamorous.
@hulia Yes. Man, I went on a grapefruit (juice, not soda, but whatever) BINGE last summer, it was amazing.
@Porn Peddler Dude, have you tried their "Burnpile" brew yet? It's supposed to be awesome, haven't picked it up yet. And 7.5 ABV. Love Magic Hat.
@katiemcgillicuddy Yeah, we went on a fresh grapefruit juice binge last winter when they were in season (<3 you, SoCal produce) and I am super excited to start that trend again. The soda was purchased on a whim, but I think will be tasty!
@packedsuitcase, I'm drinking alone with laundry and most certainly will not be drinking water. Expand your drinking alone options!
@katiemcgillicuddy The last of a bottle of Reisling, and then tequlia sunrises.
I just got this amazing maple liqueur called Sapling, and have been making a drink they call "Vermont and Stormy" with that and some quality ginger beer, squeeze of lime. Sooooo gooooooood.
@Changeling I'm usually a very basic, "Jameson, rocks"/"vodka, twist" girl, and I'm not big on sweet but...that sounds amazing. It sounds so perfect for Fall.
@Changeling I love all things maple and all things ginger so that sounds fantastic to me.
@katiemcgillicuddy Newcastle Werewolf "Blood Red Ale." Feelin Halloweiner! And then whatever's cheapest at the Biergarten in awhile.
@katiemcgillicuddy Gin martinis, not too dry. Anyone else as in love with Citadelle gin as I appear to be? They're extra tasty tonight because I was able to enjoy one with my new-mom friend, who was able to steal a couple baby-free minutes to spend with me. :)
@Changeling That sounds fucking magical.
@Girl Named Jack Yes, yes, a million times yes to Citadelle gin! Also: Bluecoat. Those are my favorites. The boyf bought a thing of Nolet recently and it's soooo floral, it's almost too much, which is unfortunate, because it was f'ing expensive.
@Changeling Maple + ginger = the answer to all things delicious. That sounds fantastic!
@hulia Oooh, I have not heard of these. Eyes peeled for the Bluecoat. Thanks for the tip!
@katiemcgillicuddy I want it so badly but all the stores around here still have Over The Pils. I MUST HAVE IT.
@katiemcgillicuddy Raspberry lambic. AKA The Beer That Tastes Exactly Like Raspberry Juice OMG. We are down to our last bottle though :( so after that whatever other beer is hanging out in the beer fridge.
@packedsuitcase The group I currently hang out with doesn't really drink, so I feel like the resident alcoholic just for wanting a beer sometimes/maybealsotogetdrunksometimestoo and also we never go out. So much sadface. I will drink alone with you!!
@hulia lady, I might drink beer by myself. And that's ok too.
@katiemcgillicuddy I had a raspberry hefeweizen and an Allagash White! YUM.
At work at the moment my manager and I are trying to sort out the end-of-quarter reports we need to send off soon (among lots of other things - it's pretty busy. Only working two days makes this tricky), and she wants me to do most of it as she'll be away at the end of the next quarter and I will have to do it all. Because the software we use to produce reports isn't perfect (it will only allow certain combinations of data, not necessarily all the stuff we want) my manager uses Access to manipulate stuff. I haven't used this since school (at least six years, maybe longer), and IT forgot to install it on my machine. Yesterday my manager talked me through how she imported data and demonstrated how she wrote a query to manipulate things the way she wanted them, and then left me to it; she hadn't actually explained what anything actually did or how it worked, and once I'd finished replicating what she had shown me, I was completely lost. Cue lots of crying in my office (which was empty, thankfully - my manager had gone home) and feeling like a total failure. I also feel guilty, because I feel like I don't work anywhere near as hard as most people I know (boyfriend, parents etc.). On the plus side, I gave blood yesterday, which always makes me feel virtuous. And my haemoglobin level was right on the borderline of what they allow, so yay for it not being any lower!
@Verity Are there any videos on YouTube on using Access? My knowledge/use of it is as old as yours. I was toying with building a database on it but I went with FileMaker instead.
My #1 tip from 25 years of using software is, when I get stuck, to zoom out a bit mentally and think "What did the designer think I was going to do at this point?" If s/thing's greyed out that I want, then, "What's the step been at similar points that's allowed the function to become active/next?" If you're noticing my language sounds a bit Boolean or program-ish, it's b/c that's the language I've been successful in using to get where I want to go.
As far as programs of this type go, there's very little true innovation at this level. Think of what you've done in similar programs/other MS programs, and it's likely that will help you get through it. PS sounds like a fun adventure! PPS The Look Inside! for Access for Dummies 2010 on Amazon.com, has lots of readable pages.
GUYS tonight I went out for dinner with J.M.Coetzee. (I didn't actually talk to him I just sheltered with some phd students in a corner but still!)
Also also a million years ago I mentioned my masters dissertation and some people said they wanted to read it; well it is nearly done now if those people notice this post! (Or anyone else, of course!) It is about Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake and The Year of the Flood, the consumption of human and animal bodies and the materiality of power. And it is much better written than this post.
@katiethegreat Whoa I JUST finished reading those books. That's such an awesome topic! I don't know if I said this the first time but I would be extremely interested in the finished product :) Congrats on being nearly done and wishing you strength to push through the final stretch!
@katiethegreat Best. masters dissertation. ever. Also I'm pretty sure if you tweeted that at Mags herself she would give you a retweet cuz she is a class act.
@katiethegreat JM Coetzee??? Seriously? Jealous. Also, pls send me your thesis. It sounds super cool.
@katiethegreat everything in your post is amazing. i'm now fantasizing that it's me who is finishing up a sick masters thesis and dining with nobel prize-winning writers. way to be!
@everyone haha, none of these things are as fun as they might sound. If anyone wants to read it, email me at heroesandpioneers at the gee mails and I will send it out when I finish :) (hopefully today or tomorrow, eek!)
And thanks for all the support folks.
@katiethegreat I definitely want to read it as well, those books are SO GOOD
@katiethegreat I WANT TO READ THAT!! I'm just starting a thesis about Oryx and Crake! (undergrad, not masters, so much shorter and less serious but hey)
@kangerine Awesome! Do you know what specifically you are going to talk about?
I got to the FOT so late today! Sad.
@Summer Somewhere Well, the west coast is still here! (Or at least this west coaster is... and not doing jack at work, apparently.)
@hulia Yeah! West coast party in the comments!
@Summer Somewhere Woo woo! The extent to which I'm getting nothing done at work right now really is kind of mind-blowing. My firm needs a billing code for FOT.
@hulia @Summer Somewhere Whoooooo, West Coast party! And I actually like getting to the FOT kind of late, because then a lot of the conversations have developed and I can see what everybody's said without having to come back over and over (good grief I am quite the Lurkasaurus aren't I? Other people's opinions on things are a lot more interesting to me than my own OKAY)
@Lurkasaurus I'm just in central time, but because of the lateness of FOT posting, I am only catching it now!
Let's talk about Girls! I have finally gotten access to HBO On Demand and am caught up through half of episode 7! So far I really, really like it. I also CANNOT tell the two douchey boy characters apart! Adam and Ray?
@angelinha That confused the crap outta me...I didn't realize they were two different people until that episode.
@Amphora Thank you! I didn't either!
@angelinha If I remember correctly, Adam has facial hair and Ray does not. Slim leg.
I'm WAY late to the FOT for an east-coaster, but I needed to have happy hour with a new-mom-friend before her boobs filled up and she had to go home to baby and husband.
Also, I spent all week at a conference for my job, so perhaps the martini I had already has hit me a little hard? In any event, the conference went awesome, for a bunch o' wonks talking about transportation legislation! I talked at a panel thingie and it went well, and was later maybe possibly asked to sit on some sort of national advisory panel about climate change, maybe? Not bad for only being in the job a year.
Also: when did I get to be so good at small talk? That's new.
Does anyone have any ideas about how to fix dried out eyeliner pens? I have so many that have dried out in a month and that doesn't seem right. Help!
@elizabeast Well if it's dried up cuz the liquid evaporated, then you're kind of out of luck. That's why I don't get pens, I get regualr liquid or gel eyeliner.
sooo... last week I posted about how I was going to use CS to date in a foreign country. Attempt 1, epic fail. Attempt 2 will be in a group tomorrow for independence day. In a crowded place. Surely this can lead to make outs? It's totally legit to do that in public here.
ah, I invited a bunch of my fellow first year ph.d students to be in a study group with me, but I've only gotten declines. Maybe they all have study groups already without me???? :((((
@saretonin given my own failed social experiences of the phd, probably they're just really stressed and busy. or boring.
@theotherginger Yes! Also a first year PhD student, and although I know study groups would be a good idea, I haven't figured out how to uh . . . make room for them.
(And I should probably get off the internet and go study now.)
@Lucienne my life lesson from the PhD - do what makes you happy. pare down to the barest essentials.
i'm going to go to a burlesque shortly, and i'm dressed up. last time i went to a burlesque, so many women in the audience were wearing wiggle dresses and bright fascinators. i don't have those things, so i went with a 60s style swing dress with petticoats and high heels. i'm even wearing a girdle, and it feels really strange to be in such structured underwear. it feels like armor.
@Summer Somewhere I've got to ask, what the hell is a wiggle dress? It sounds interesting O.o
Hello 'pinners! I know it's late but so am I; finally delurking!
I went out with a guy I've already slept with (a vacation fling, sort of?) this week. He's finally in town after a long flirty build-up to the trip, and after we already met on two different continents. So we went to a museum and had a lovely time... then he totally ditched me without a single kiss!
Strangers of the internet, I was carrying a condom (which I never do). And I'd shaved my legs! The indignity...
It is incredibly strange and flat-out baffling to be turned down for makeout times/sex when most of the time (as a blonde 20-something) I'm having to reiterate, no, I will not sleep with you, go away before I pull out the mace.
How do you all deal with this? Should I just never talk to him ever again? (But he's so cute!)
@llamainramallah so sad. shaved legs? that's always disappointing when the intended of the hour doesn't seem to be interested...
Didn't he know you were blonde?? And unsure of your age???
Those are all my fetishes!
@llamainramallah Ugh, that happened to me once with a dude I drove three hours to see (and see naked). The last time I'd seen him it was sexy times all weekend. This time all he wanted to do was smoke pot and hang out with his roommates. LAME. Maybe he's seeing someone and was too much of a wiener to tell you in advance?
I developed a huuuuge crush on a guy who lives in a totally different country but who might be coming to visit Oregon on vacation / meet me (specifically!) and I dropped $570 fixing my car and I got through a whole day at new work without making a mistake and I got a great new apartment that I'm moving into and I'm currently at my friend's house to try on my maid-of-honor dress and make wedding plans! Phew.
So I broke up with my boyfriend and feel less terrible about it than I should. This is normal, Y/N?
@Lyesmith Totally normal. Probably means you were super ready to break up?
@Shayna That is usually what it means
@Shayna I feel almost indecently Okay With It, and it's only been a day and a half.
@Lyesmith It's okay! And feelings may hit you in different ways at different times. I'd say it's definitely an indication that you were ready to break up. How long were you guys together?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher We were together for nine months, seven of which I spent doing the majority of the work - commuting to his place, calling, making date plans - and two of which I spent waiting for him to step up after multiple discussions about what putting in equal effort meant. He either couldn't or wouldn't despite telling me many times how much he loved me/what an awesome and healthy relationship it was. Yep, I'm definitely done with this!
@Lyesmith Definitely sounds like you were totally ready to be done. Glad you're in a good place now! Cheers, friend.
@Lyesmith You feel exactly as terrible as you are supposed to. There is no should here.
@Porn Peddler Thanks for the support, everyone. Also, as the break up-er and the person who doesn't feel as awful about the breakup (due to having felt all of that about the relationship issues already when it was still going on) ... when is the right time to do the stuff swap and er, get him to delete very personal photos from his computer? I'm afraid doing it too early will turn into a tearful "you should've tried harder" conversation on his end, and I don't want to aggravate his already raw feelings.
@Lyesmith Oh man. Good luck getting those photos deleted. :s
@Megano! ... Uh oh. Should I be worried? He's a really good guy so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. And uh, my face isn't in the photos. >_>
@Lyesmith Well...I would wait a while to ask for them if you're not on the best of terms, because then he might think it will be a good idea to show them to everyone. But I MAY BE overly pessimistic here.
@Megano! Oh, god. Isn't giving him more time to show the photos to everyone a bad idea, then? D: Also, I was planning to sit down with him and have him delete them right there and then, so... I hope things don't get that depressing.
@Lyesmith Ummm ... First of all, congrats on breaking up with a dude who clearly wasn't right for you. And for feeling exactly the right amount of regret. Which is to say, exactly as much as you feel.
But as for those photos, however good this dude is, you should assume they're NEVER GETTING DELETED. I dunno, maybe I'm being cynical, but even if he agrees to let you sit him down and watch him delete them, you should assume that he has another copied saved away elsewhere. He has a lot of room for rationalization: you dumped him, you agreed to take the photos, your face isn't in them, he misses you, and you look smoking hot.
Yeah, he's got them saved in two or three places...
@Professor Zero I guess I can be okay with that as long as they never see the light of day. And another question (if anyone is still reading this).. is it callous to post on Facebook and link funny things on friends' pages and make jokes and just act normal online? I don't want to rub it in his face, but I also want to do normal stuff, but I can kinda see him taking it as a "she didn't even care enough to be upset!" sort of thing.
Was there an FOT recently where someone was complaining about breaking out and not knowing why? That's been happening to me too and I FINALLY figured out it was my night cream that was the culprit and switched to a less breaky-outy one. Yay! FYI, the offending night cream was Garnier Ultra-Lift Anti-Wrinkle somethingorother, in case anyone else is having the same problem.
@Mo Cuishle I don't think it was me. I found that emotional and physical distance from an unfortunate situation made me break out less. what is your new cream though? I might want to try it.
@theotherginger L'oreal Youth Code! Anything by Neutrogena also treats my skin nice.
Garnier! The BB cream caused my skin to flake offa my face.
I think anti wrinkle can be pro acne because my Oil of Olay anti wrinkle did the same. I switched to Simple and it helped clear things up a bit.
@teaandcakeordeath I've heard that too but I've been using various anti-wrinkle creams since turning 30 two years ago, and this is the only one that's given me problems.
I had the best steak at a Mexican restaurant the other day. It was very spicy, had randomly French potatoes au gratin on the side (... still can't figure out why), and churros with cheese and I think a sweet potato sauce-thing. I wish I had somehow asked for the recipe, it was perfect. Anyone have any recipes similar?
No recipes, but a "nom" of solidarity...
I have had the weirdest week, and feel the need to vent. Which is, I hope, what the bottom of the Friday open thread is for.
1. Horrible, horrific week of work - 4 major disasters, people on leave and ridiculous 16 hour high pressure days
2. Most important client (20 of them) visited for a 3 day "workshop and drains up" which meant all of the above had to be managed around smiling nicely and pretending everything was absolutely fine, instead of running through the office, screaming.
3. This also involved dinner with said client. Some may love this, but for me these kinds of enforced social events are like being dragged over broken glass and having rusty nails shot into my eyeballs.
4. I lost my favorite necklace somewhere, and I'm gutted about it.
5. I'm on call this weekend
6. I had a big row with one of my colleagues because he was basically being a dick. All smoothed over, but I have the guilty feeling that I could have handled it much better.
7. After MONTHS of back-and-forth, wrangling, calls etc. I have finally got an offer for a new job. It's a damn good offer, and a damn good job. I should be over the moon but I'm completely wiped out, and between that and the back-and-forth I cannot muster up any emotion at all, except...
8. I am also absolutely dreading handing in my notice - the period's 2 months, and my boss' boss will surely get involved and he can be quite unpleasant when things don't go according to plan. I also really like my boss, and hate to do this because he'll surely get the brunt of this.
I also hate leaving my team - especially because there's been a hell of a lot of change at work lately. And finally, I'm going to work for a former colleague who left because he had issues with some of the individuals involved. Even if I don't say where I'm going, they'll find out soon enough because my industry is quite small. The next couple of weeks are going to be very sticky and tangled and awkwardly political, and I just hate the prospect.
Thank you for letting me vent - so far, no one else knows because a) I can't quite believe this myself and am still processing it and b) I live in a place where people know people and the grapevine is extremely active.
And also thank you 'Pinners for being such nice, sane and funny people because even though I mostly lurk, I can tell you that reading your commentary really helps me sometimes when I need to put on my big girl panties and do something hard, or just need reminding that there are good, decent people out there.
@EvilAuntiePeril Congrats on the new job! You seem very stressed, though, and that's understandably making it hard for you to be excited about leaving your current workplace (which seems kind of terrible). Why don't you take the time to take a hot bath or a walk and clear your mind of the stress of your current job... and then think about the new job offer? Let yourself get excited about it! Think about how much better it will be, and how happy you are that it finally came through. And do you have to tell your bosses 2 months in advance, or do you mean that the new job is starting two months? If the latter, don't tell them yet! Wait until it's time for a two-weeks notice and then just hand it in. If possible, avoid two months of being harangued about getting a better job and maybe come up with a stock phrase for the boss's boss and curious coworkers, like "I've learned so much at my current job and I've been fortunate to have had the experience of working here. I'm looking forward to a closer commute/new challenges/whatever is different about the new job but won't imply your current job is terrible/etc at my new job" and if they keep pestering "thank you for taking interest in me, but my decision has already been made."
Also, here's a Captain Awkward column that may help: http://captainawkward.com/2012/03/08/202-my-job-is-making-me-miserable-but-i-dont-know-how-to-quit/ I find that Captain Awkward makes everything better.
@Lyesmith Wow! I was hoping for 'Pinner words of wisdom and perspective, but amazed that they came through so fast! You are right, as is Capt. Awkward, especially the last bit about there being no "Super Special Official Grownup reward for sticking out crappy situations and suffering the most."
Sadly, the 2 months' notice is contractual (actually 2 calendar months, which means end of Nov as my last day), but I have managed to wrangle the new job to start in January, which gives me some downtime. I'll have to spend some of it packing and moving, but I think I'll spend this weekend planning what else to do. And then I'll iron my big girl panties in official Jane Marie approved style and come up with some good phrases and a resignation letter.
@EvilAuntiePeril You're very welcome! Enjoy your well-deserved new job happiness.
@EvilAuntiePeril No wonder the new job wants you- just look at your list of all the things you've successfully navigated! Seriously, well done.
You haven't asked for advice, but as I also work in an incestuous industry, one thing- people like you who survive politics and upheavals and then are cherry-picked by spinoff companies, often find they have the opportunity to spin off their own companies.
Something to think about.
@Myrtle Little late picking up my email, but thank you so much for the compliment, perspective and food for thought! I really hadn't thought about things that way at all.
Definitely perked me up and bolstered my courage for a few more days' wrangling (I read the fine print on Sunday...) Thanks again.
@EvilAuntiePeril Just a PS to other readers: I'd found myself turned down for a job on a team that I had felt highly qualified for- only to find out I had more qualifications than the person who'd interviewed me. Monetize your skillset and aim high(er), 'Pinners. You're likely worth FAR more than short-sighted bosses have led you to believe.
Clean people! My favourite white blouse has a blue stain on it that is probably from my parents' stupid tinted commercial detergent. I've scoured the AACP archive to no avail. Jolie needs to come back so I can be less filthy(tm). :-( Any thoughts?
@Cat named Virtute wash on cold with oxyclean. I would make sure the washer is pretty empty so the garment has room to swish around.
@Cat named Virtute Oxyclean solves everythinggggg!
@Cat named Virtute A paste made of peroxide and baking soda has never failed me! Even on old vintage table cloths, set in wine stains, and the brightest and the darkest of colors. Its great for cleaning grout, too.
One time I mentioned that I have a Dateline drinking game, and a 'Pinner advised I watch Stolen Voices, Buried Secrets, and lo and behold IT IS FINALLY ON NETFLIX.
LET THE DRINKING BEGIN.
Oh no, not a body in the "kitchen area"!
"I was never... much of a social butterfly, but on the day I died, I was the center of attention."
Omg come ON.
WHY IS THIS MURDERER ALREADY RELEASED FROM PRISON? BECAUSE HE CONFESSED HE BEAT HIS WIFE TO DEATH? WHY DOES THAT CHANGE ANYTHING?!
Why are women the only ones whose narration is contrasted with a seven-year-old version of themselves playing in a church or hide-and-seek or whatever?
Oh yeah wait infatilizing women is hot I remember.
A murdered woman is the "center of attention" again!
@Inkling What are the rules of the game? I feel like this could really perk up my mid-day.
Made by my beloved old roommate and me. Drink for:
1) Dialogue cut off mid-sentence during interview
2) Hyperbole (especially "emotional rollercoaster" and "life turned upsidedown")
3) Dramatic Pauses (Keith Morrison)
4) Sexism in regards to the victim
5) Unrelated shots of flora or the moon
6) Cliches, double drink if it is preceded by a dramatic pause
7) Mothers who aren't taken seriously in regards to their murdered children
8) Inappropriate and disrespectful segues, often between memories of a victim to the victim's murder
9) Involvement of cell phones
10) Killer is put away for an unfair amount of time, double drink if killer was probably innocent or justified.
You can split them up among friends or pick certain ones to drink for. Most of these are also applicable for 48 Hours Mystery, of which there are tons of online. Hope you enjoy!
Looks like I had a comment moderated. Sorry 'pin!
Just booked tickets to a Rockabilly festival! As I'm not really in the Rockabilly scene (though I love rockabilly music and dressing up in vintage clothes) I hope that it's not too scene-y and people accept my lack of victory rolls and vintage car. Also, I have just joined up with couchsurfing (because all the reasonably priced motels are booked out that weekend) and sent of three requests to non-serial killer looking types, but now I can't stop compulsively checking my emails for their replies!
I sent my pen pal a picture of a cat with a sombrero on, including the lyrics to "Go For It!" by Hot Sundae (also known as the song featured in the Jessie Spano caffeine pill freakout episode of Saved By The Bell).
1, 2, 3, bend! 1, 2, 3, stretch! 1, 2, 3, check out the link below!
Here it is: http://lataviacanyouhandlethis.tumblr.com/post/31663600354/pen-pal-2012
@Joseph John Sanchez III I wish you were my pin pal.
This is really late and I dunno if anyone will see it, but my site, Paper Droids, is looking for Style and Lifestyle contributors! I am currently in charge of Lifestyle as well, and we really need people! For Lifestyle we have a series called "Awesome Ladies in History" which is quite popular, and I'm looking for help writing that. Lifestyle is basically anything that doesn't really fit into the other sections, as well as like, op-ed pieces.
For Style we literally have no one and it is bad! Cosplay, History of Clothes in certain eras, Style subcultures, makeup reviews, and style sets are the sort of thing we post in Style. Even if you could only do like one post a month, that would be awesome! Anyway, if you're interested, here are the details to apply!
@Megano! Dang, if I hadn't just started grad school this would totally be up my alley. Mind if I share w/ some writer-ly friends?
@backstagebethy PLEASE DO
Returning super-duper late to say--I made an apple pie from scratch and it was fucking amazing! :D I've never done it before. SUCCESS!
@Jenn@twitter ~swoon~ house smelling of fresh pie and cinnamons. Win.
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Returning super-duper late to say--I made an apple pie from scratch and it was fucking amazing! :D I've never done it before. SUCCESS! free netflix account
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