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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

417

Frequently Asked Questions About Tights

I wear tights a lot, so I get asked questions about them almost every day. Sometimes twice a day, sometimes just once a day, and then a few days pass before there are any more tights questions. I am technically the most qualified person to share these VERY frequently asked questions about tights.

Q: Why wear tights?
A: Because it’s cold outside.

Q: Yeah, but there are other options. Why tights?
A: They make you look skinny.

Q: Can’t you just wear a Spanx bodysuit for that?
A: Spanx bodysuits only go to mid-thigh. Tights come all the way down. You don’t have to shave your legs!

Q: Doesn’t it hurt, squeezing into those tights?
A: Only at the mid-thigh part. 

Q: How many pairs of tights do you wear on a typical day?
A: I like to layer three: Two thin, one thick. You know how people are always shouting “Tights are not pants!”? Well, THREE PAIRS of tights are AS WARM AS pants, and as long as you’re wearing a dress or skirt or legitimately long tunic (which means mid-thigh, with no crazy long slits), then you can layer up and be just as warm as your friends in pants. If they truly are your friends, what with the pants and all.

Q: How do you put on three pairs of tights?
A: The same way you do, one leg at a time (and one pair at a time, unless you want bunches of bunches).

Q: What do you do when you get a run in your tights?
A: Usually, ignore it. Or only wear it with longer skirts.

Q: How often do you wash your tights?
A: Thin tights — every two wears. Thick tights — every three wears.

Q: Is that gross?
A: Not really. You don’t want to wash your tights too much. Runs.

Q: How do you make sense of the weirdo tights-sizing charts on the back of tights packaging?
A: Just ignore them. The ones in  your hands are probably the right size.

Q: What are some guidelines for matching your tights to your outfit?
A: If you’re going for a serious/business-lady-look, match your tights to your belt/jacket/sweater. If you’re going for a skinny look, match your tights to your shoes. Otherwise, do whatever feels right.

Q: What are some guidelines for wearing patterned tights?
A: Try not to wear any other patterns. If you must, wear a competing pattern. Better to look interesting in polka dot tights and a striped sweater than to look like Matchy McBoringpants in polka dot tights with a polka dot sweater.

Q: What about white tights?
A: I can’t hear you, your legs look too fat in those white tights.

Q: What if I’m in a sexy situation with my tights?
A: Thank your tights.

Q: What if my tights keep rolling down and giving me a surprise muffin top?
A: Are you rich or poor?

Q: What if I’m rich?
A: Throw them away.

Q: And if I’m poor?
A Safety pin them to your bra.

Q: What if the safety pin comes undone and pokes me in the stomach?
A: Sucks being poor.

A: Is there anything I can’t wear with tights?
A: Just leggings or sneakers.

Q: Is there anything I can’t do in tights?
A: NO!*

*Rock climbing

Amy Preiser also knows a lot about Hello Kitty, half marathon training, and gift giving.

Photo via Flickr/chriswaits



417 Comments / Post A Comment

Megasus

No white tights ever.
Also I saw a woman on the bus wearing tights as pants a couple of weeks ago. It was...very awkward.

aliceandstuff

@Megano! I do not really get the "tights are not pants" hate. Wear whatever you want! At least you are covering yourself up with something.

Megasus

@aliceandstuff Um, no, tights are not quite opaque enough to be worn as pants. They are coloured pantyhose! You wear them with dresses! It's leggings that people have the hate for.

Daisy Razor

@aliceandstuff When I say "tights are not pants" I am politely saying "I don't want to know which cut and color of underwear you prefer." This has happened to me more than once.

special_boots

@Megano! Yes. Tights as pants is really a very peculiar look, far past the sins of leggings. (I have seen it too... I hope very much it was just a Walk of Shame gone wrong.)

I would like to relatedly complain about those who wear leggings as yoga pants. The thickness and opacity scale goes: yoga pants > leggings > tights.

I realize that leggings cost less than yoga pants, but that is because THEY DO NOT PERFORM THE SAME FUNCTIONS.

Ok sorry really needed to get that one off my chest.

SarahDances

@aliceandstuff Because even leggings are not always as opaque as you think they are when you look in the mirror that morning. Last week, I was leaving the metro in early evening and the sun was at such an angle that I could see the underwear of both leggings-wearing women walking in front of me in their entirety. Cut, color, pattern, the whole kit and caboodle. I do not want to see any stranger's nooks and crannies. I firmly support the use of tuchis-length tops/tunics/dresses over leggings and tights at all times.

aliceandstuff

@Megano! I fully understand the difference. Why do we care so much about what other people are wearing?

Megasus

@SarahDances I have seen many a teenage girl's ladyparts outlines on the bus, which is so wrong I don't even want to get into it.

SarahDances

@aliceandstuff Because I do not wish to be visually assaulted by any stranger's ladybits, which I don't think is an unreasonable request.

Kivrin

@Megano! I am legitimately saddened by the "no white tights" decree. My scrawny little chicken legs look SO PATHETIC in dark tights. One year as I dressed up as Alice in Wonderland for Halloween and was pretty stoked that I was "allowed" to wear white tights. My calves looked fantastic (for once).

Megasus

@Kivrin Unfortunately there's not really a way to wear them that looks grown up or sophisticated. :(

dj pomegranate

@Kivrin I feel like that's maybe a rule that you can learn and then break as appropriate? Like "no mixing patterns" and "no white after Labor Day" and "Don't/Do match your ___ to your ___". No matter the rule, someone out there is breaking it and ROCKING IT. I say own your white tights and make the rest of us jealous!

Kivrin

@Megano! I know. White tights have been relegated to the realm of little girl fashion. *sigh* I'll just have to dress up as a fairy tale character every few years as an excuse to show of my legs.

Kivrin

@dj pomegranate Aw, thanks! Not sure I'm brave enough to wear full-on white, but maybe I can look into some more pastel colors. (I have a pair of light gray tights that don't look too bad.)

gobblegirl

@SarahDances Many of the jersey maxi dresses everyone was wearing this summer - YES, EVEN THE DARK ONES - were not nearly as opaque (ie, even a little bit opaque) as their owners thought they were. I almost told one lady I could see all her business, but then I was too embarassed. I still feel guilty. She deserved to know.

roadtrips

@dj pomegranate Yes - I wear all colors of tights, including white, including clashing*. Whose sensibilities are you offending by wearing white tights? OWN IT.

*and I do not look like a child or like I am at an anime convention (although that would rule in its own special way)

Faintly Macabre

@Kivrin Eh, I have a pair of Hue cream cable-knit sweater tights! I do not have your problem, so sometimes I feel self-conscious, but they're one of two colors that matches my favorite between-seasons dress (it's really colorful, so colored tights are out). I am super-tall so don't look like a kid anyway, but I wear them with tall boots or heels to tone them down and mitigate their unflatteringness.

Pyxis

@Megano! If you wear white tights with a white dress though, you look like an old fashioned nurse. Extra points if the dress is in a 60's cut.

baked bean

@Faintly Macabre Hey, cable knit sweater tights in cream sound rad, rock them.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Faintly Macabre Ha, I came down to say "OK but my cable-knit off-white tights look super cute." This definitely counts as one of the exceptions, although you definitely do have to balance it out with boots/grown-up clothes.

Faintly Macabre

@baked bean Thank you, I try to!

@Veronica Mars Yeah, I think they're just one of those things where you have to be careful how you wear them. Like jumpsuits! People with no idea how to style them or confidence in wearing one should probably not, but they're not innately evil. (I do not own a jumpsuit, though.)

Hellcat

@SarahDances Yes, I've got me the standard black leggings that I really don't wear that often, to be honest. While I think they're definitely opaque enough, I've only got a couple of longer, drapey-style shirts (I guess they'd technically be called "blouses," but that word bugs me for no good reason that I can think of) that I actually pair with them when I feel like wearing that kind of outfit (usually with pointy flats--if I can actually find any!). Maybe I'll do that tomorrow before it gets too cold... though sometimes I feel like an art teacher when I dress like that.

There's also the tightness-squeezy factor. I'm not afraid of tight clothes but I want more "heft" than the leggings offer (and nothing that might do something camel-toe-ish!). So, long shirts, definitely.

baked bean

@Hellcat The only place I can find cute pointed flats are at Urban Outfitters, and I don't like to shop there/support them/admit I shop there. I have some from like 3 years ago that were herringbone fabric that are soooo cute but they have 2 holes in each shoe now.

Hellcat

@baked bean Someone else here mentioned UO the other day too, when I was having another rant about this. Maybe I'll look... or I'll ask my shoe man if he can turn ballet flats into points (somehow I doubt this is worth the trouble).

Hellcat

@Kivrin What about an off white, with maybe a cool cable-knit pattern or something sweatery? I think it could work.

OOPS! I didn't realize others made this suggestion already! Sorry! But that only makes me more confident that it's a good idea. Wear them damn tights if you want!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Faintly Macabre You would look bangin' in a jumpsuit. Or at least a romper?

hahahaha, ja.

@baked bean @Hellcat: ALDO HAS BRIGHTLY COLORED SHINY POINTY FLATS but they are on clearance in limited sizes :( BUT BECAUSE THEY ARE ON CLEARANCE THEY ARE ONLY $20.

Warning: I have these shoes (in, like, all of the colors they offered) and they run a little small. I'm usually a 7 1/2 or 8 and the 8s ended up hurting so much that I went with a 9, which is big but doesn't fall off. They're still on the unyielding and painful side, but after I broke them in they're just fine. The inside of one my pink pair does have some blood stains though, which makes me stop and think, What am I doing in the name of vanity?? But then I realize, they're bright pink patent pointy flats and I don't care and pain is just weakness leaving the body.

lil_bobbytables

@SarahDances Wait, wait wait wait wait. It's Kit and Caboodle? I THOUGHT IT WAS KITTEN CABOODLE I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR THIRTY YEARS NOW OH I AM FLOODED WITH EMBARRASSED SHAME

Banana dance

@lil_bobbytables I thought it was kitten too :((((

Hellcat

@Banana dance I think "kitten caboodle" sounds cute. In fact, that should be the term for a group of kittens instead of "litter" or "clowder" (especially because "litter" already has a meaning in the cat world).

Blushingflwr

@aliceandstuff Because our clothing choices are in part an aesthetic expression, which is always going to invite judgement. An opinion on someone's outfit is not (necessarily) a judgement on their character.

Beatrix Kiddo

@aliceandstuff I think the problem is that tights are NOT very thoroughly covering yourself up with something.

vittoriama

Thanks a million times for sharing this!@v

special_boots

I can now die happy.

Aunt Ada Doom

@special_boots I came here to say basically the same thing. Then I saw that 312 people had already weighed in, but you have said it best for me.

Daisy Razor

"Q: How many pairs of tights do you wear on a typical day?
A: I like to layer three: Two thin, one thick."

*raises hand* How on earth do you get 3 pairs down and back up again to pee?

special_boots

@Daisy Razor Same as one pair. It's very easy.

That said, it really isn't cold enough in NYC (usually) to merit three pairs... I live in DC (fairly similar temp-wise) and only do three pairs on the very coldest days.

Daisy Razor

@special_boots I have major trouble getting control tops up & down. I don't think I could manage 3 pairs.

thebestjasmine

@Daisy Razor I seriously cannot comprehend this. Three pairs of tights. At one time. Three pairs of tights. This seems like a way to torture yourself on a daily basis.

And to make sure you have a stock of Monistat in your bathroom at all times.

special_boots

@Daisy Razor Oh, I don't buy control-top tights... it seems like they would be uncomfortable.

olivebee

@thebestjasmine Agreed. My jaw dropped when I saw that the answer was 3. I mean, part of the reason I own tons of different tights and wear them frequently is because I think they make my legs look great. Why do they make my legs look great? Because they are thin and you can see a hint of skin through them, especially above the knee where they stretch more. If you wear 3 pairs, you may as well be wearing woolen leggings. Also, if you are that cold, buy thick, knit tights.

Sam I am

@Daisy Razor My trick on cold days is to wear the tights I want but I also throw on some leg warmers (which are covered by my boots)!

Daisy Razor

@Sam I am Yeah, I often layer in the foot area. Around the waist, no.

olivebee

@olivebee Oof. That sounded conceited. What I meant was that I think they make my legs look great because I hate my short legs normally, and I don't like they way they look in most jeans/pants. The author is correct about tights being slimming - they lengthen and sexify legs.

Plant Fire

@Daisy Razor I can understand double or triple layering thigh highs because you can just clip them all into the same garter belt. But tights?? Even if they are not control top I do not understand how it is at all comfortable to have that much tight fabric wrapped around one's belly.

MmeLibrarian

@Daisy Razor I live in a super-frozen state in the upper midwest and I have never, not even on -10F days, felt like I needed to put on more than one pair of tights at a time. That's what cable-knit and wool tights are for.

Riding boots + cable-knit tights + knee-length wool skirt = so warm. So very warm. Bonus, you never have to worry about wet pantlegs from stepping in snowbanks.

Faintly Macabre

@thebestjasmine I wore two pairs at a time once--and one was sheer--and felt like living sausage. The thought of three makes my legs hurt. Sweater tights! Fleece-lined tights! Wool socks over tights and under boots! All better solutions than 3 pairs of tights.

baked bean

@Faintly Macabre Dude yeah, I own some fleece-lined tights and they are SO COZY. That has to be warmer than 3 pairs of regular tights and more comfortable.

MilesofMountains

@MmeLibrarian Yep, nothern Canada here, and I've never put on two pairs of tights. Knee-high wool socks under boots, wool tights and a wool skirt are the way to go as far as I'm concerned.

Caitlin Young@twitter

@Daisy Razor I cannot fathom wearing three pairs of tights at once. I tried to put on two once when it was really cold and gave up halfway through. If it's too cold for one pair of tights, isn't that what leggings are for?

sceps yarx

@olivebee I don't think it's concieted to say that your legs look great. It just sounds, I dunno, body positive. I think everyone should say their favorite body parts look great all the time! Beautiful everyone! Yay!

social theory

@thebestjasmine i had to read the comments to find out that the 3 pairs thing wasn't a joke. i will escort my little southern california self to the door now, thank you.

tea tray in the sky.

I like layering my brightly-coloured lace tights over my thick opaque tights. So many combinations! It's like having so many tights!

PistolPackinMama

@sceps yarx agreed.

@All when I was in high school we would layer long johns or leggings or even sweats over our tights under our uniform skirts on the way to school. And then take them off because inside is so overheated.

Three pairs of tights? In an overheated building in winter? Hell. Just, hell. I suppose you could unlayer, but then... putting on tights at work.

Also, I do not trust this woman's commentary on account of how much she cares about if your legs look fat or skinny. Wear white tights if you like. Jeez.

Finally, I am on a mission to find a replacement word for Walk of Shame, since... no shame about walking home after bonking someone you wanted to bonk, right? Walk of Smugness? Walk of Hopefully Sore From All The Bonking? Walk of Stop and Get Bacon On The Way?

social theory

@PistolPackinMama i have heard the variant "stride of pride" used, but it's all in the execution, really, because that one can be just as demeaning as "walk of shame."

Roaring Girl

@PistolPackinMama Walk of Fuck Yeah, Orgasms! And perhaps also bacon.

smidge

@PistolPackinMama How about Walk of Stop and Get Breakfast Because I am Hungry From All the Bonking?

kellyannecat

@Daisy Razor There are so many incomprehensible little details in this piece. People ask her questions about tights? More than once? EVERY DAY? It's like she's writing from an alternate reality in which tights are totemic, a kind a currency like spice in the movie Dune. "The tights must flow." This person lives in a weird tights world that I do not understand.

Poubelle

@MmeLibrarian When I lived out on the frozen, wind-whipped Minnesota prairie, the most I would do is tights under pants (basically as subsitute long johns, honestly). If I wore a skirt I'd use thicker tights and rely on my long coat (and also high boots, which I wore anyway in the snow). THREE PAIRS? That sounds miserable, and also like hell once you get back inside and the building has the heat on.

(Also, I feel like my feet would get extra-sweaty and gross with three layers of tights on top of them.)

Rene @twitter

@Daisy Razor I am asking the same thing... 3 pairs of tights and having to pee must be a nightmare!!! lol

jason049

Chang drives the song using trap-kat drum pads triggering 3 Minimoog Voyager Rack Mount Editions. Ian uses the Envelope Gate switch to sustain continuous sound during parts of the song blog comments service

SarahP

It isn't them rolling down that gives me a muffin top (also: don't safety pins=runs?); some of them won't come up as high as my bra and give me muffin top wherever they do hit.

Well-fitting (ie, non-muffin-top-giving) tights are THE BEST, but man is it ever difficult to shop for them.

SarahP

@SarahP Also, my guideline for whether to wash my tights: Are they stained? Do the feet smell? If the answer to either question is yes, I should wash them.

falafelwaffle

@SarahP The worst is when you take off your muffin-top causing tights and your tummy is covered in angry red lines from the seams.

olivebee

@SarahP I just bought a pair of Steve Madden tights for $9 at DSW, and they fit amazingly. Good belly height, good stretch, they didn't get a run when my bike pedal scratched my calf. You could try those if you are having a hard time finding good tights.

SarahP

@olivebee Ooo, thanks, I'll check them out. I found a good set by Calvin Klein a couple years ago and later went back to the store and bought all the colors they had (only 3)... but they've started to get some runs this year, and now they don't sell the same style anymore :(

Hellcat

@falafelwaffle Ugh, I had to wear some control-top ones once that I borrowed from my sister; I am not kidding, halfway (if that) through my workday, I took scissors and cut a slice in those things! Holy hell!

Now here is my question and I do not at all mean this in a judgy/shaming/bitchy/conceited way, I swear: I'm not the demographic for control-top anything (though maybe if there were an upper-arm wrangler, I'd buy it) so, if they crushed the hell out of me (and made me very lumpy!), how do larger-waisted and/or softer-in-the-middle people deal with them at all? Wouldn't the constricting be even worse and cause people not to buy them ever? Is there something other than the squeeze-power that distinguishes them from non-controlling tights?

falafelwaffle

@Hellcat Control-tops are the devil's tights. They do nothing except squeeze and pinch most uncomfortably. I have no clue why they exist as they are.

Hellcat

@falafelwaffle And it's like they lure you into a false sense of security; for a short time (maybe while you're standing or walking), all feels fine and almost even satisfyingly neat and orderly beneath the clothes. But then... POW! After some sitting-down time, they just lash out!

TARDIStime

@SarahP I also +1 this question as an also non-control-top demographic member.

Hellcat

@TARDIStime You know, my sister isn't even in the demographic. Why in the hell did she have not just one or two, but several pairs of these asshole tights (many of which I went on to cut because I had already damaged all of my own, I guess. I recall she didn't get that mad that I cut them, but that I put them back in her dresser after I washed them... thus causing her to have go through five pairs before finding a good one)?

AnotherSarahP

As someone who *is* sadly in the demogrpahic, when you have the chubbs having them locked down feels nicer (at least to me).

Hellcat

@AnotherSarahP Are there some that are better-made than others maybe, or align more properly (or something)? Maybe my sister's batch were bad? I hope my question didn't make you sad; I didn't mean to.

I get the "locked down" feeling too, with my boobs. I'm not voluptuous in that regard but, when not at home, I don't feel right without a bra on. Too much movement for my taste without one.

AnotherSarahP

@Hellcat Haha, no, not sad. I mean, I am not psyched to be chubbs, but I am even less psyched to not eat and drink cocktails, so meh. My tights problem is actually being too tall. Apparently you can be chubbs or you can be tall, but you are not allowed to be both.

Hellcat

@AnotherSarahP Oh, good--I get worried online about interpretations and such! And, eh, chubbs-shmubbs; one person's chubbs is another's scrawny, and one person's slim is another's emaciated, and so on and on and on, opinions, semantics, etc... I'm sure you look lovely, and cocktails (and cocktail snacks!) are more important than tights anyway mostly!

The Attic Wife

@Hellcat I can answer that! As someone whose torso turns from an average medium to a large/extra large when we get past the belly-button area, control-top tights are what reign everything in so that I look like an hourglass and not a pear.

My hips are convinced that they need to store fat for some long hard winter that I can't convince them isn't going to happen in the 21st century. So for me, it's all tights all the time, preferably with some reinforcement up top.

Hellcat

@The Attic Wife So, maybe the more consistent (for lack of a better term) a person is in that whole region, the more the top closes in/crimps up in a stupid way? I'm a little curvier in the bum area than I was when I destroyed my sister's tights, but then I was a straight-up-and-down, sharp-angled thing, so maybe the tights are not engineered for that? It's all so confusing! I was prepared to (and did) blame the control-top but maybe the control-top is just not intended for use by some people (like the way those built-in-bra tank tops are simply not meant for the people with the impressive racks)?

(For the record, I like having a rounder butt now, though I still have the stick-out hipbones... which are at the perfect height to bash into just about every countertop corner on earth.)

The Attic Wife

@Hellcat Possibly? Probably. I'd say ditch the control top and just go for normal, non-reinforced tights to make the smoothest possible transition from tights-to-skin.

(I hear you on bashing things, in addition to preparing for nuclear winter, my hips also think they should be ready for birthing a child at a moment's notice - another thing that isn't going to happen.)

Hellcat

@The Attic Wife Oh, I don't wear them now; I used to borrow them from my sister after I'd ruined my own tights, then slice the waist a few hours later. I don't even know why she had so many of those unless she got them on sale or something. I would ask her--but she'll get mad all over again probably.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@SarahP OK, regarding washing: I wear underwear under my tights, and I wear socks over them if I am wearing shoes that will cover up the socks. But I would still not be comfortable wearing tights more than once without washing them! And I am not a clean-crazy person, e.g. I wash my jeans after maybe ten wears. I just don't see why, if you wash your socks after each wear (which I like to think most people do?), you wouldn't wash your tights after each wear.

PistolPackinMama

@Hellcat I hate them. I hate that if you are a person of no small size that seems to be all you can find.

They aren't comfy for me. The bra analogy does help explain why other people might want them, though, so that's good to hear. Because woah, going without a bra= never gonna happen for me.

I think control tops are a problem because the sizing can be bad, too. Or maybe I think I just need to wear a size larger than the manufacturing people think I need to wear? If they're not actually squeezing anything they are less likely to roll down under your tummy line. But they still do some nominal smoothing, I guess.

I am shaped like an upside down pizza slice- broad on top, narrow in the hips, with a muffin top. And control tops just moosh then roll, taking my knickers with them.

I buy un-control top tights and then wear slips to smooth everything over.

Hellcat

@PistolPackinMama That rolling thing seems to happen on non-control ones too -- and it blows! It is 2012, for corn's sake; why can't this be rectified across the board? And why is it so hard to find a slip in this day and age, for that matter? Last time I found a good one (after searching and searching), I bought two because I was not playing any games anymore!

roadtrips

@Hellcat Vintage slips are the way to go! I have a few that are beautiful but fit not great, but I also have about three that fit perfectly (one of which I am wearing at this moment) and are very flattering under a dress. I also prefer cotton slips (best) or rayon (second best) over nylon or other newer synthetic fabric, as I find that I like a slip with considerably less stretch. God, don't even get me started on slips! I love them so much. Also, I wear tights almost every day and my favorites are American Apparel - good colors, good stretch, no control top but they stay put.

baklava!

@SarahP I am in the demographic and I like a well-fit pair of control tops (which is usually one size up on the size chart because I need all my stretch in one particular area) because although it is a bit awful to get them on, once they're on, THEY ARE ON. No surprise-ploop!-sound muffin topping for me in the middle of meetings like with those wussy comfortable stretchy-waisted tights. Me though, I am quite large of hip and relatively small of waist (yet squishy-bellied), so maybe that shape is better suited?

In other news, not with sneakers? What? Forget it.

falafelwaffle

How do you wear 3 pair of tights at once?? My legs feel claustrophobic in just 1 pair....

fabel

@falafelwaffle I am getting more squicked by the thought of rolling them over each other, one after another. Like, I hate how tights feel in my hands as I put them on. No way I'd be able to do that THREE times.

krisisisipoo

@falafelwaffle THIS. I love tights once they're on, but the entire process of PUTTING them on literally makes me cringe every time. (reasons: initial tightness on tights, initial tightness in crotch, crazy crotch seam that never lays straight at first, etc.)

Also, I cannot be comfortable in tights unless I am that-day shaved. I hate hair prickles when wearing tights.

Dirty Hands

Claudia from the Babysitters Club suggests patterned tights with hi-top sneakers. Preferably day-glo hi-top sneakers.

SarahP

@Dirty Hands I got my first ever pair of hi-tops recently and I plan to wear them exclusively with tights.

faience

@SarahP I purposely bought a pair of Batman hi-top Converse to wear to work (I have a casual workplace) where I feel the need to wear dresses to impress the boss that Im serious but I also have to have closed-top shoes.

oh! valencia

@faience My boss makes fun of me every time I wear my Converse with tights. I don't know why he thinks it's so funny.

Dirty Hands

@faience BATMAN HI-TOPS EXIST?!

whereismyrobot

Quick poll: Underwear with your tights; yay or nay?

special_boots

@whereismyrobot YES. YES. THIS IS NOT EVEN A QUESTION. AHH.

SarahP

@whereismyrobot Almost always!

iceberg

@whereismyrobot unless you enjoy the center seam getting all up in your fine china, wear undies.

Jinxie

@whereismyrobot I say nay (and thus they get washed after one wear) because that's what Ma Jinx told me when I was young.

Jinxie

@Jinxie Apparently I'm alone in "nay". :( Doesn't it get all bunchy, having unders under your tights? Or is this a thong situation?

nonvolleyball

@iceberg fine china! first time I've heard that, & now I love you.

also, my answer to this is "yes," but I've been known to wear the underwear OVER the tights from time to time, because it sometimes helps them stay up. (safety-pinning to a bra never occurred to me before now, though, so this new knowledge may change things.)

clearly I've grown a lot as a person since reading this post/its comments.

you're a kitty!

@whereismyrobot oh god yes, jeez. Yes.

special_boots

@Jinxie It doesn't get very bunchy, no.

For compelling reasons of both lady-comfort and smell, I reeeeeally recommend going the underpants route.

Sam I am

@whereismyrobot YAY. Please wear undies with your tights.

@Jinxie It doesnt get bunchy at all.

Jinxie

@special_boots Hmm. Ok. I find the Hairpin Commentariat to be generally wise and trustworthy, so I will wear a pair of knickers next time I wear tights. But you'll certainly hear from me if I wind up with the wedgie to end all wedgies.

Ellie

@whereismyrobot I always wear underwear with tights.

falafelwaffle

@Jinxie The trick with non-thongs is to reach in and flatten any bunches when you put them on. They stay put after that.

FirstPreiser@twitter

@nonvolleyball You growing as a person makes me grow as a person

fabel

@Jinxie I am with you on nay! Most of them have that crotch-thing, anyway, so underwear is...redundant?

Jinxie

@fabel Yay! I'm not the only no-underpants freak! (Though I did promise to give it a shot next time.)

whereismyrobot

@Jinxie For the record, I do wear underwear with them, but in another online discussion, was surprised to learn that a lot of people don't.

It makes sense though, they have that crotch thing...although the site of it through the tights is distressing.

Alli525

@Jinxie ARGH I knew I was not cut out to be a ballerina in part because I absolutely HAD to wear underwear under my tights. No if's, and's or but's about it... the bare minimum was a pantyliner and that was pushing it.

The other reason I wasn't going to be a ballerina was because I evened out at 5-foot-0 and have an "apple" body shape... But mostly I blame the tights.

baked bean

@Jinxie Idk, I have a pair that have a little panel in the crotch and I always wondered why. Maybe they are made for you!

I do hate the way my non-sexy fruit of the loom cotton panties look under my tights. But I hate wearing non-non-sexy panties.

On the topic of panties.... am I the only female out there that has problems with wedgies in anything other than the multipacks of hanes or fruit of the loom cotton bikinis? I bought a single pair of the Gilligan O'Malley from target that I loved that were a little cuter, but then they changed the fabric to a thinner one when I went back to buy another and WEDGIE CITY. Or do other people not care about wedgies/have a different butt shape that keeps them in place? And I know I'm wearing the right size because when I buy bigger they bunch more because there's too much fabric. Also thong, to me = permanent wedgie and I HATE IT. Gimme the panty line instead, no shame here.

heyhaley

@Alli525

YES BALLET! That's the source of my apparently freakish habit of not wearing undies with tights. Leotard over tights over poking-out underwear is a bad look. Phew, now I have an excuse.

Chesty LaRue

@baked bean I usually wear Victoria's Secret sexy little things boy shorts style underpants, but they sometimes don't behave in a dress, but also I have mad booty to keep them in place.

cupcake

@baked bean Gap panties are best. Nice fabric. Try the boy shorts in low rise or regular. There's a sale
right now and they are a little over two bucks a pair. I stock up on them like crazy.

baked bean

@cupcake I always have way worse luck with boyshorts, but I have never tried the GAP ones. Do they have substantial elastic on the leg to keep them in place?
What frustrates me is that you can't try on underwear! You have to buy them to try them, and then you end up with mountains of wedgie underwears that have been worn once.

sceps yarx

@Chesty LaRue Hanes used to make a boyfriend style boxer brief for her that I LOVED. They never gave me wedgies because they had the boy-style double seam under the butt cheeks. But then they reformatted all their styles and the new ones have a seam right up the middle, which is wedgie city. I gave up and and bought some all-black target brand boxer-briefs from the little boys' section. THEY RULE. I think men have much higher standards for underwear construction than women.

baked bean

@sceps yarx I admittedly wear little girls' Fruit of the Loom underwear most of the time. Size 14. It's like a women's small. Also the girls ones are cheaper. Sometimes the colors and patterns rock and sometimes they don't. Lately they have been yucky pastels like lavender and pale yellow :\ not the bright fun colors like before. And the package is always half white ones, and that sucks.

Also, my bf likes Hanes boxer briefs. They look comfy. I totally get the preference for boxer briefs over boxers, duh less bunching in the pants.

I think the problem is that we, as women, are supposed to be sexy above all else, including wedgies.

sceps yarx

@baked bean Yeah, I used to buy the girls size 14 ones too and I felt the same way about the style lameness. But the first time I wore those boys undies (Cherokee size L), I was like, "the patriarchy has literally been crawling up my butt for over 30 years! Aaaaaaagh!"

The package I bought has one all-black pair, one black and get striped pair, and one black with skulls. They are perfect for wearing under short skirts, the waistband is so comfortable, and there is a little extra breathing room to keep away the yeasies. I'm never going back. But I do draw the line at grey waistbands.

baked bean

@sceps yarx So I'm assuming since they're little boys' ones they're also a little tighter, so they work under girl pants. You are a genius!

baked bean

@sceps yarx Also, what size do you get?

whereismyrobot

@cupcake They are the best. I like the ones that have almost no waistband and I can never order the right ones online.

Heidi

@whereismyrobot I'm with you as "nay!" But I also sometimes wear 2-3 pairs (Chicago! I get very very cold!) adding underwear...too many layers.
In the winter I usually do cotton control top tights under warm wool tights (and riding boots and wool skirts). It's the greatest. And then I only wash the bottom pair of tights. With Forever New! Adding underwear seems ridiculous and uncomfortable/unecessary.
Oh, and I have a solution for the roll down thing too, but I suspect you're all going to hate it: old Spanx. You know, stretched out spanx that doesn't quite do what it should any more, and thus is comfortable enough for regular wear? slap that on top of tights that like to roll and you'll be all set.

rianne marie

@baked bean I only wear thongs, because WEDGIES. Always wedgies. Once I bought boy short undies and dear god it was awful. Whatever underwear I wear it will all inevitably end up in my ass, so I just go with the style that's supposed to do that. So much less fabric to get wedged up there!

iceberg

Dear tights expert lady,

How do I wear fancy lacy-pattern tights without looking like I have a creeping fungus on my legs?

Love,
Iceberg

P.S. Stop worrying about your weight, you're fine.

SarahP

@iceberg I wonder this too!

thebestjasmine

@iceberg I don't think you do! Every time I see women wearing them I think they have a terrible rash when I see them from half a block away.

nonvolleyball

@thebestjasmine the first time my husband saw someone in patterned tights like that he was like, "why is that woman wearing those horrible things?!" it took me a while to convince him that this was a Fashion Thing that was Considered Attractive. (not that you should feel compelled to dress for the approval of straight men who get most of their clothing from Old Navy! but, if that's the demographic you're looking to entice, consider one dude's strongly negative opinion.)

FirstPreiser@twitter

@iceberg Stick with any patterns in BLACK. Noone is going to think you have black leg fungus, black is the most common tights-color, so people will assume they're tights and not something awful. Also: You're so nice! xox

special_boots

@nonvolleyball I have a very fashion-involved Occasional Man Friend who finds patterned tights to be hot and sexy. We are in fundamental disagreement on this, and while I very much enjoy earning his fashion approval, I do not enjoy it enough to wear patterned tights. Ever.

SarahDances

@iceberg Also, I haven't tried, but maybe by layering them over another pair of solid color tights?

olivebee

@Amy Claire Preiser@twitter Seconding this! I have all sorts of colored tights, but they are all solid. All my patterned tights are in black. Black lace, black flowers, black striped, black argyle. Like you said, no one would mistake a black pattern for a skin condition.

Ellie

@iceberg I have a couple pairs of polka dot tights (not like POLKA DOTS! in a Zooey Deschanel way, but like very small pattern, Wolford-y opaque dots on sheer black stockings) that I really like and I have always thought they looked normal. Also I've had a couple pairs of lacy or fishbone-ish pattern tights. I think the key is that they have to be black.

effystonem

@Amy Claire Preiser@twitter Agree. I've seen people wear what looks like cute tights up close - nude with little nude hearts patterned all over - but form like one foot away it looks like you have a skin condition. But I have a bunch of patterned tights in black (lace look awesome) and even some in dark colors like purple, and it looks kickass.

Although it should be stated that some designs seem like they would only look good on ladies with very thin legs - i.e. a leopard pair that I wanted SO BADLY but knew they would stretch across my admittedly chunky legs and NOT look like the cute lady on the front.

Anna Jayne@twitter

@effystonem I have mad chunky legs (like, I have to get my knee-high boots from a special store chunky) and the leopard pair I have looks effing rad.

effystonem

@Anna Jayne@twitter You may have just given me the final push to getting those tights. They always look so fun and cool, but I am also very self-conscious about my legs (which apparently only extends to patterns because I wear like neon purple and mustard yellow and ALL the colors the second it gets below 80). How do you wear them? I feel like boots would just cover up too much, so plain flats and heels?

Amphora

@Anna Jayne@twitter You can find knee-high boots? My dream is to be able to tuck my jeans into knee high boots.

sceps yarx

@iceberg I was hanging out with my friend one day, and she was wearing floral patterned tights. A woman came up to her and asked her if her legs were tattooed all over. Whaaaaaaat?

special_boots

Also, I've had many fewer three-pairs-of-tights days since I discovered that Target has amazing toasty-warm fleece-lined tights for like five bucks. They are the most amazing delicious leg-hug you can imagine.

Jinxie

@special_boots Ooh, I need to get a pair or two for the cold winter rainy season. (I hate wearing pants in the rain, because the water creeps up my pants leg. Skirts/dresses and tights are a much better option but then you've got more leg-wind exposure.)

special_boots

@Jinxie Yes! This is exactly why the universe has brought us fleecy tights. Pair with a boot with enough heel to keep the moisture from your feet and you are set for winter.

Jinxie

@special_boots I've also been tempted to try merino wool tights but all the ones I've seen have been considerably more expensive than $5. I'm just not willing to pony up $40+ for something I'm likely to accidentally destroy after one or two wears.

Sam I am

@special_boots I must go to Target immediately! But also toasty are tights with leg warmers (if I'm wearing boots).

harebell

@Jinxie
Luckily, they are much sturdier than the nylon ones. You can also darn them without it showing much if you do get a hole (which is more likely than a run in this case); it's a bit like darning a sweater. They really do feel wonderful & practical in winter!

Brunhilde

@Jinxie SMARTWOOL TIGHTS are expensive but are super warm and last forever and I love mine.

Jinxie

@Sam I am I just looked online, and couldn't find any fleecy tights at Target. Now I'm frantically googling for a pair somewhere else because I know the "heat wave" [going to be a whopping 70f this weekend, woo!] the weatherman is predicting will not last forever and I will someday be cold again. So far I've only found them at Bare Necessities and they cost $35.

wallsdonotfall

@Brunhilde Oh man, I disintegrated my Smartwool tights in about 30 seconds with the way my thighs rub together. Sweater tights are wonderful but the crotch/thigh seams are never as sturdy or tightly-knit as they need to be.

odd number

@Jinxie Yes me too! Where are these tights?

Pixie

@special_boots
J. Crew wool tights! Yes, they cost more than $5. However, mine are about four years old and still going strong. As for fleece lined tights, I like the brand Plush. Again, they are expensive for tights, but last for years. Stop with the disposable clothing!

Faintly Macabre

@Brunhilde But they run small! I was thrilled to find them on clearance at EMS, but I could barely get them over my knees.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@special_boots When did you see these tights? Last winter season, or recently? I MUST KNOW MORE/BUY THEM.

The only pair of wool tights I ever bought have a terrible case of saggy-crotch. I am only 5'4" and they still never quite stay up where they should be. :(

Brunhilde

@Faintly Macabre @wallsdonotfall I seem to have gotten lucky with my Smartwools, as I have had them for a couple of years and never had any problems, just warm warm legs. I have a fleecy pair from American Apparal that are almost too warm in my office, so I save them for going nighttime goings out.

PistolPackinMama

@Sam I am LEG WARMERS! OF COURSE!

I have slim ankles and always layer socks to keep my boots from slouching but then I am wearing all the smartwool on my feet, which, ouch. But legwarmers. LEGWARMERS.

(trip to target ahoy)

(also, fleecy tights?!)

Sam I am

@Jinxie Thanks for the heads up! I may have to dish out to at least try them (after I get my next paycheck though...)

Sam I am

@PistolPackinMama Enjoy!

aliceandstuff

Generic plea for more fancy patterned tights in plus sizes.

Megasus

@aliceandstuff This is where I get mine

SarahP

@aliceandstuff You probably already know this, but: go to sockdreams.com, search "plus size," be happy.

aliceandstuff

@SarahP I know all about sock dreams, but they are never as satisfying as I would like.

anachronistique

@aliceandstuff They are often not actually plus-sized enough, too.

hotdog

Lately my tights have been hurting my toes, like they are all squished together! What do I do?!

Jinxie

@hotdog Cut the toes off your tights?

hotdog

@Jinxie Cold toes!

nonvolleyball

@hotdog cut off your toes?

@serenityfound

@hotdog You might need to size up or just wear less constricting shoes. This was an issue with me a lot (as is/was just wearing through things at the toes super quickly). I found sizing up (and, weirdly, making sure to keep my toenails really short) helped.

Jinxie

@serenityfound Oh, the toenail thing is actually a good idea. I've currently got a super-dark polish on my toes so I hadn't realized my nails had gotten a little longer than is comfortable until I was wearing tights the other day and the toes of my tights just felt all weird.

FirstPreiser@twitter

I agree with @serenityfound - also i wouldn't underestimate stretching the feet of your tights over something. Unless they're super high quality, they'll stretch out a bit.

sceps yarx

@hotdog Footless tights!!! I love 'em.

rianne marie

@@serenityfound Toenails! Even without the tights issue keeping toenails short makes such a difference in how my shoes fit.
If I think a pair is starting to get uncomfortable due to falling apart or something, first thing I check is my toenails. It's usually the problem.

@serenityfound

@hotdog Seriously! And then I go through periods where I'm super paranoid about them for this reason, cut them way too short, and end up with ingrown nails. Toenails, why you so much trouble?

Jinxie

This is excellent timing, as I've just been thinking it's time for me to do an overhaul of my tights drawer before the weather gets much colder.*
*Hahahahahaha as if it hasn't already been tights weather for the last few cold, foggy months.

Hellcat

@Jinxie You and me both. I should just trash anything with even the tiniest hole and be done with it (I save them for boots that might cover the hole). But, inevitably, they are always the ones I pull out of the drawer repeatedly when I am already running late.

PistolPackinMama

@Hellcat The boot zipper CAUSES those holes. Damn you, boot zip!

Hellcat

@PistolPackinMama Tell it! I am today wearing nude fishnets that I stupidly paired with almost-knee-high boots that zip up the back! So... every time I uncross my legs, it's like a hosiery crapshoot over here.

Sam I am

@Hellcat Truth. I need to do a clean out as well. Even today, my tights are snagged at the toe (but I'll still walk around my office barefoot, if I want to!).

Jinxie

@PistolPackinMama All of my tights have a rough patch just under my knee where the top of my boots hit and rub against the fabric. I tried for a while to only wear the tights that are already boot-ified with boots but all it took was a few mornings of being in too much of a hurry to look closely before dressing to ruin all of my good tights.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

Tights have made it possible for me to wear skirts and dresses that are a smidgen too short without feeling self conscious about pastiness/upper knee chub. And I hate wearing pants to the office.

fondue with cheddar

@OhMyGoshYouGuys I've got upper knee chub, which is part of the reason I never wear skirts and dresses. It never occurred to me that tights would help.

Jinxie

@OhMyGoshYouGuys I also hate wearing pants to the office, but that's more because I can't find any work pants that don't make me look dumpy. I see Professional Ladies in Grown-Ass Lady Pants all the time and wish I knew where they were finding their magic ass-enhancing trousers.
In the meantime: tights!

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@fondue with cheddar (formerly jen325) They make it disappear! Try some.

fondue with cheddar

@Jinxie My office is very casual. I'm wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers right now. I don't know where to find magical Grown-Ass Lady Pants either!

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@Jinxie I, too, cannot find proper fitting GALP. I see them, I try them on, they do not fit. Tights always fit. And if your skirt is getting tight you can hitch it up a little higher on your waist and keep on keepin' on.

nowwhat

@Jinxie I too would like to find the magical secret source of these Lady Pants.

Blackwatch Plaid

@Jinxie I got some at Nordstrom. They're by Alfani and while I can't remember the style name, the tag basically says they're "butt enhancing". They sell different cuts for different body types, and they make my normally droopy ass look amaaaaazing. Go forth and shop!

Jinxie

@Blackwatch Plaid (formerly glittercock) Ooh, thanks! I'll check them out!

damselfish

@OhMyGoshYouGuys I have the reverse problem. I can't find skirts that fit because they ALL get that pouch over the crotch. I used to think it was because my belly was too fat (it's not, but it's a pooch because some bodies do that!) and then a friend related the same woe to me, and she has a flat stomach. I dunno where our bodies are deviating from the skirt-wearing lady norm.

GALPs are also nigh impossible to find, but I've had more luck with them than professional skirts.

Amphora

@damselfish "GALPs? I don't think they exist."

up cubed

@damselfish THIS! I think it is because my thighs are wider than my hips, making the skirt slide up. Then the waist stays put, so all the fabric gets bunched at the crotch. I've had slighly more luck with A-line skirts or pencil ones with some stretch.

MilesofMountains

@OhMyGoshYouGuys How are they so terrible? They're too big at the waist when I'm standing and bag out like they've got a space for a penis at the front, then I sit down and they dig into my stomach! Is there a trick? Is this trick "lose 20 lbs"? Because that's not happening

Hellcat

@OhMyGoshYouGuys Yes, I love a short skirt/dress. Tights make it OK and not scary, even at my office, which technically has a skirt-length rule... but nobody cares about it.

sceps yarx

@Jinxie I got some GALPs at the thrift store the other day. I'm not normally a GALP gal (har har) but I love linen and these fit amaaaazingly. They're originally Banana Republic, the "martin" fit. They totally have room for my trunk junk.

fondue with cheddar

@MilesofMountains That's why I like hippie skirts best.

up cubed

@MilesofMountains Absolutely not. Search "polterwang" on gofugyourself.com- this even happens to tiny famous people with paid stylists.

theotherginger

@sceps yarx yes! I have the same cut, also from a thrift store, which I then got tailored to fit even better. This was four years ago. They were better in the past, because I went to BR to try and find the same ones, and they just weren't the same. Maybe tailoring would help?

fondue with cheddar

I bought 7 pair of colored tights on mondo clearance a few years ago but have yet to wear any of them because I always wear pants. :(

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@fondue with cheddar (formerly jen325) The only "tights" I ever wear are actually long-johns that I wear under my pants in the winter.

Rene @twitter

@fondue with cheddar Get out and wear your tights girlfriend, dust the skirt off and have fun!

@serenityfound

"Q: And if I’m poor?
A Safety pin them to your bra.

Q: What if the safety pin comes undone and pokes me in the stomach?
A: Sucks being poor."

brb dying of laughter

When I lived in colder climates, I was all about tights (although rarely patterned because of big thighs stretchin' 'em out and making' 'em look odd). Now I don't like the way they feel on my stomach, so I've switched to thigh highs stockings and socks and LOVE IT.

SarahP

@@serenityfound I love thigh highs if they stay up on their own, but not as much if I need a garter belt: the garter belts I own present the same stomach-squishing problems tights do.

@serenityfound

@SarahP I usually get around that by wearing my garter belt either really high (at my way high natural waist) or let it out as loose as possible and sling it low on my hips. But I also have a really light and lacey garter belt (which sometimes has trouble with my thicker knee highs), so I don't know how a more "industrial" one feels.

tea for all

@@serenityfound For keeping thigh highs up, try this! It comes off with water and REALLY sticks. When I used to Irish step dance I would use it to make my poodle socks stay up.

wearitcounts

also, for runs: clear nail polish. dab a little on each end of the run and it will stop it from spreading. you can wash and the nail polish will still do its job.

Pocket Witch

@wearitcounts Don't use colored nail polish, even if it (almost) matches the tights.

Jinxie

@Pocket Witch Yeah, I learned that the hard way once.

Rene @twitter

@wearitcounts Thanks, I wouldn't have thought of that...

SarahDances

Is this where I can complain about the egregious misuse of the word "opaque" by hosiery companies?

SarahP

@SarahDances Yesssssssss.

SarahDances

@SarahP Insert Inigo Montoya-style "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means" here.

damselfish

@SarahDances Yeeeees. I should not have to shave to wear opaque hose! That defeats the purpose!

fabel

No, no, you have to look at the sizes! Tights that are too short create the worst sensation ever.

Ellie

@fabel The sizes are so wack though. I'm not a large person and I need size "C" at Talbot's (their largest size!). I never understand who can wear the smaller sized tights.

Jinxie

@Ellie People like me with rilly short legs? If I go by weight, I'd be in B or C...but then the top of the tights would be, like, over my head.

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@fabel YES THANK YOU. I think you can ignore the weight part more than the height part -- they seem to stretch a lot more width-wise than lengthwise.

entangled

Q: What should I do if I keep thinking I should maybe wear tights and be a little bit more fashionably adventurous than my usual jeans + black sweater but even the boring gray pair I bought has been sitting in the closet unopened for a year?

Sam I am

@entangled Just do it, itll be a fun foray!

entangled

@Sam I am I think my problem is figuring out what skirts match what tights. so I buy boring tights which still manage to not match anything I own. it's supposed to be 80 all week so this may have to wait a bit, but I am determined to try this year.

tea for all

@entangled Sweater dresses in colors like black and grey, and then the MOST bonkers pair of tights you can find, with a neutral ankle boot with a ferocious heel if you've got 'em, or knee-highs to tone the look down a little. Also, worry less about matching. You could even get a basic pair of black shorts (I have a high-waisted pair from AA) and wear tights with those. Although, now that I think about it, my advice is probably not for the faint of fashion heart. Or work appropriate. (I am taking full advantage of being a student again.) It might be that the fact that they are grey is what's holding you back!

PistolPackinMama

@entangled This year I am determined to extend the life of my pretty wedge shoes with peep toes by wearing OBNOXIOUS COLORED TIGHTS because I CAN!

But grey tights-

Black shorts, red top, black cardi
Black skirt, white top bright colored cardi, black shoes
Navy or plum or even brown with grey pinstripe solid colored top, grey cardi, brown or black boots.

Wear them! Wear the tights!

Sam I am

@entangled I'm jeal that its 80 where you are. I get cold in the 70's. PistolPackinMama has some good ideas for how to wear gray tights. But I own just about ever color and pattern of tights, and I dont think I've never worn my gray ones (I did just buy gray wool ones, so I might have to figure out a way to give those a go). Try an eggplant pair, that'll add a nice pop of color in a safe way and will hopefully encourage you to buy something else a bit different!

entangled

@tea for all, @PistolPackinMama, @Sam I Am
Thank you guys for the suggestions. I am getting psyched up to wear them!

Boobs Radley

I love this so very much. More Amy Preiser all the time.

SuperGogo

I love tights, but I'm so prone to just wearing black and gray all the time because Matching. I'm trying to branch out into other fun colors; but I have a hard enough time figuring out the whole top+skirt+shoes+possible scarf or belt thing. Throwing another color or pattern into the equation is daunting, to say the least.

City_Dater

@SuperGogo

I wear bright colored tights with boots and skirts, and don't worry about matching as much as "contrasting." I probably look like a tall 3rd grader or perhaps Blossom, but it makes me feel festive.

SuperGogo

@City_Dater I love the color-saturated, festive, tall 3rd-grader idea of bright tights, and I've seen lots of ladies rocking the hell out of that look. But to be honest, most of these ladies are a good decade younger than me, and I feel like it would be trickier for me to pull that off without sliding into mutton-dressed-as-lamb territory. I think a good compromise would be for me to rock the darker jewel tones like forest green and maroon (oxblood this season!) and leave the day-glo options to the ingénues.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@City_Dater I definitely have an outfit I have dubbed the Smurf outfit, because it is all blue. Solid teal tights, solid black skirt and heels, solid teal blouse. I just wear it and own it... including some cold days when I add a houndstooth capelet on top of the whole shebang.

MilesofMountains

@SuperGogo I love my dark purple tights for days when I realize I'm wearing entirely black and grey and it's depressing.

Terrifying Wife-Avatar

@MilesofMountains I have a black/gray striped shirtdress that looks a bit "Prison Matron" on its own so I wear it with bright purple tights. It's a little OTT but, as mentioned above, I try to just wear it and own it.

smidge

Do you wear fancy patterned tights to the office? I'm always scared I will be perceived as screaming LOOK AT MY SHORT SEXY LEGS

Jinxie

@smidge Yes, but since I work in a conservative-ish law firm generally only if they're skin-tone since. For anything more noticably patterned (or if I'm going for a bright, solid color) I'll wear boots so there's only a few inches of tights showing between top of boots and bottom of skirt.

wearitcounts

@smidge i work in a business school, and our mannersmith educator says patterned tights to the office only with a knee-length skirt and knee-high boots; so, basically, you can wear them if you can only see 1-2 inches of them.

dj pomegranate

@smidge I wore fancy patterned tights to give a presentation once. I aced it. Later a guy came up to me and said, "I didn't really hear anything you said because your tights hypnotized me." I am not sure he was joking.

apb
apb

@wearitcounts but knee-length skirt + knee-length boots = major no-no!!

wearitcounts

@apb i think they mean "skirt that hits just above the knee and boots that hit just below the knee," which is totally fine.

noReally

The guy in Thank You For Smoking had a thing about women wearing white tights, and I thought, "Christopher, eeeeeeew!"

Ellie

Speaking of tights, leggings, bodysuits, etc. How terrible would it be to be Catwoman for Halloween? I feel I can pull off a bodysuit. But will EVERYONE be Catwoman this year? I was going to try to make it, but Target has a costume that looks prettttttty good, as horrible as I find the idea of *buying* a Halloween costume (let alone from Target). I just don't want to do the same thing as everyone else.

SarahP

@Ellie Dude, if you like the way you look in a bodysuit, WEAR A CATWOMAN BODYSUIT. Who cares if other people have the same idea. Do it for those of us who are unable (by our own self-consciousness) to do it!

Caitlin Young@twitter

@Ellie I'm thinking about being Catwoman, but in her old-school purple dress costume because I just don't think I'd feel comfortable in a bodysuit. Also I figure it would set me apart from everybody else who wants to be Catwoman! So of course here I am, sharing the idea with the internet.

Hellcat

@Caitlin Young@twitter I would love that shiny number if I could find one... though I think you might be thinking of Batgirl with the purple; the '60s TV Catwomen had black outfits. However, Batgirl's costume was pretty fabulous too.

Caitlin Young@twitter

@Hellcat No, I'm talking about this outfit: http://www.push-start.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/1940s.jpg

As far as I know it was never in the TV show, but she had that look in comics occasionally. Not very practical for being a cat burglar, but I think it's pretty fabulous.

Hellcat

@Caitlin Young@twitter Oh, I'm sorry! My comic-booky BF would slap me (not really, of course--though he might gasp at my ignorance--and stubbornness in caring only about '60s TV Batman). But, yeah, that outfit is good! DO IT!

Maybe I should too and impress him with my newfound knowledge of other Batman styles? (I'm probably being LaVerne and Shirley with my friend; does anyone have any suggestions how we can incorporate some Halloween gore and faux blood into that? I'd appreciate it!)

tea tray in the sky.

@Hellcat Zombie LaVerne and Shirley?

Hellcat

@tea tray in the sky. Thanks! We were actually thinking about this... but then we worried if adding "zombie" to an idea was becoming the new "sexy [whatever]" that you see in the Halloween stores. Probably a stupid thing to worry about but we take our Halloween probably too seriously.

We're trying to come up with a "mashup" idea. In the past, my friends and I have done Darth Waiter, FrankEinstein, Jewbacca and Hanukkah Solo, Snooki Stackhouse, ZomBea Arthur (actually, that idea was floated around but no one did it--jerks!). But it's just not coming together with ol' LaVerne and Shirley!

tea tray in the sky.

@Hellcat Ooh, fun! Ummm...
LaVerne and Sherlock?
LaVerne and Anne Shirley?

Roxanne Rholes

@Hellcat A friend of mine was Zombie Babe-raham Lincoln last year: beard, fishnets, cute little vest, hat, blood. Amazing!

Jellybish

But where should I buy my tights? I usually get mine at Target, but I would like some really nice quality tights this year.

dj pomegranate

@Jellybish Hue has nice ones, but I got some last year at J Crew and they sagged ALMOST INSTANTLY. It was really sad!

Jinxie

@Jellybish I've had good luck with Hue brand tights. Pretty much every department store has them. They're more expensive than Target, but only by a few bucks, and most stores seem to have a "buy 2, get a few dollars off" thing with that brand.

Jellybish

@dj pomegranate This definitely seems to be an area where higher price doesn't always mean better quality.

Tuna Surprise

@Jellybish
Anthropologie has great tights! Same price (or a little cheaper) than jcrew and much, much better.

Faintly Macabre

@Tuna Surprise I own waaaaay too many pairs of Hue tights, but seconding Anthropologie, especially on sale! I have flowered ones that are awesome and I used to have Tintoretta wool-blend striped ones. The wool ones never fit, but I insisted on wearing them until I realized that they were actually a small that had been mispackaged and that they would never, ever fit. They were so beautiful, though!

rosaline

@Jellybish I like the Silk Reflections line Hanes has... I usually get them at Macy's or JC Penney's. They have always been really soft and lasted a long time.

Diana

@Jellybish

H&M! They have fabulous tights in various den amounts. Once winter gets closer they'll get in wool tights and things. 100 den tights are very high quality. Also, their bamboo tights are my favorite things ever, they're so warm and don't snag very easily.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Diana Most of my non-Hue tights actually come from Old Navy or The Gap. They have all lasted me several seasons of wearings/washings and are still blemish-free! Also, their opaque tights are actually opaque.

Hellcat

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Old Navy ones were the best -- the exact right combination of softness, non-shininess, and elasticity! I can never find them anymore! I have some good Calvin Klein ones too that I bought, I think, at Loehmann's maybe? I should get some more but I need to conserve dough and closet space and poking around at Loehmann's will not help me do either of those things.

I have commented a lot in this thread! Clearly I have many feelings and thoughts about tights.

cupcake

@Jellybish if you like dark black tights try the DKNY super opaque control top. I have tested every pair of tights there are and those are the ones. They are fifteen bucks. Bloomingdales is having an online sale right now and I am preparing to stock up. I live in black tights in winter.

Anne Helen Petersen

@Jellybish URBAN OUTFITTERS. True story. Cheap, so many patterns/colors, long-lasting, good quality. DO IT.

Sam I am

@Jellybish Banana has some good ones that go on sale pretty often. Anthro also has good tights (and their sales prices are much easier on the wallet). I bought an awesome pair of floral Anthro tights just this past weekend!

lindsayishere

@Jellybish I'm with everyone mentioning Hue. They're two for $20 or so, but every year when Bloomingdale's has Friends & Family (this weekend!) I go stock up with the extra 20% off. They fit great, don't stretch out, and are relatively magically run-proof.

Hellcat

Oy, I thought bizarre, tights-related questions were something I alone dealt with from clueless coworkers*. I am glad to know someone else has experienced this!

The most annoying is one I get all summer: "Isn't it too hot outside for those tights?" One, no hotter than it is to be wearing pants, I'd assume. Two, I don't often do my eight-hours-a-day desk job out in the blazing sun. And, three, just tend to your own, lady! (Four, which I keep to myself usually, involves a combination of pale, bruisy, often unshaved legs and short dresses.)

* Some of whom have children, even of the little-girl variety. I would think they'd know what tights do. Oh well.

happy go lucky scamp

@Hellcat yes! all the time. yes i know it's 40 degrees outside, but it's 23 for 8 hours of the working day and dammit i'm cold.
I also bruise really easily, and have 2 black work dresses which I wear almost every day. Coloured, patterned, lace over coloured, black under coloured lace, and all combinations of tights are my friends!

tales

"I can’t hear you, your legs look too fat in those white tights."

...Aaaaaand I'm on indefinite hiatus from the hairpin.

Jinxie

@tales Aw, that's only one person's opinion. Personally, I'm of the "we're all pretty in whatever we wear so long as we're wearing what we like" school.

the roughest toughest frail

@tales Yeah, that was a supremely juicebox-y reply. Then again, THREE pairs of tights. Consider the source, I guess.

fb100003964691892

@tales Agreed, super out of character for this site. Guess I gotta learn which editors/authors are worth reading, and which aren't. Basically, they all aren't!

adorable-eggplant

@tales That's why I love this series: http://www.themilitantbaker.com/p/25-things-fat-people-shouldnt-do.html She would rock white tights!

Eff everybody who thinks they can body police.

Also, it hurts squeezing into tights at the mid-thigh? Size up! It's OK. Fewer runs, more awesome.

spanglepants

I am also not a fan of this article's tone, and I'm surprised/ horrified I had to scroll so far down the comments to find anyone else thinking the same way. Eurgh.

frigwiggin

@tales Yeah, it made me make these faces:

:|

:(

>:[

I am feeling many things right now.

I love wearing tights, but I sure as hell don't do it to look skinny.

PistolPackinMama

@frigwiggin Hello, my people.

It's nice to know that the perceived fatness of my legs and the clothes that enfatten them further magically make me inaudible to skinny-leg-caring human ears.

Oh, squiggles

I'm also in the group of finding this to be upsetting. I would love to talk about tights, but I guess I am not invited by fact of being fat. I certainly feel that way when I can't find any that fit, and I certainly feel that way after reading this article.

Mosey

@Awesomely Nonfunctional et al: as a tights-wearing chubster with squatty little legs I gotta admit that plain white tights (knit or sheer, not-textured) are the least flattering things I own. I do not believe the article writer is having a fat-bash - white tights look terrible on everyone, even the super skinny.

Anna Jayne@twitter

Q: How do you store your many pairs of tights?
A: On a wall-mounted ribbon organizer I got at Michael's, like so.

Jinxie

@Anna Jayne@twitter Whoa.

nowwhat

@Anna Jayne@twitter Wow. "Wadded up in a corner of my sock drawer" would be my answer...

eiffeldesigns

@Anna Jayne@twitter I have those leopard print tights! But I have waaayy to many pairs for that method of organization to work. I just toss them in a zipper under bed storage thingy and fish them out of there. It's a mess, but it kinda works?

Anna Jayne@twitter

@Kirs yeah, this is actually a photo from a while ago and I am starting to run out of room! The excess ones are looped on one of those pant hangers with 4 crossbars.

happy go lucky scamp

@Anna Jayne@twitter coat hangers (multiple) on the back on my door.

Sam I am

@Anna Jayne@twitter Mine take up a whole drawer plus a basket I bought specifically for them. The ones in the drawer are (relatively) organized , I have a sock organizer that I just use for them. But I should go through them and toss the ones with major rips (instead of shoving them back in my drawer as I usually do...).

rararuby

Regarding sizing - IT SO MATTERS! Invest in 2 pairs of excellent quality opaque dark tights (Wolford etc) and size up at least two sizes. They will hit at your natural waist (no muffin top!) will not get stretched out (no saggy ankles/knees!), and will hold their opacity. Do it, size up! They also last a gazillion times longer.

oh! valencia

@rararuby This is pretty brilliant advice, actually.

charmcity

Today was the first day I got to sport my autumn/winter wardrobe, which is my spring/summer wardrobe but with tights and boots instead of bare legs and heels. IT WAS AWESOME! 'Til I realized around noon that the new pair of tights I was wearing had grown an immense, ragged run/hole on the back of my left leg. An awkward walk to CVS ensued. And that is my tights story!

Hellcat

@charmcity And it's over-the-knee-socks-over-tights time too! I'm so excited! I was afraid of the big sock even though I loved them, but people here convinced me and the Bargain Bin told me where to get some nice ones for cheap! Yay, fall wardrobe!

eiffeldesigns

I do not understand the three pairs of tights at once thing. And I consider myself a tights expert. I've got probably close to 50 pairs? I should do an accounting. And I need to go through and find ones with holes in them. My lace tights hide them and I never notice until I'm late and trying to get out the door and I have to debate trying to find another pair I like that day or wandering around with a hole in my tights all day.

As for potential warmth issues re: multiple pairs at one time: I wear dresses/skirts year round in cold ass Boston. I just wear leg warmers during my commute. Rockin' it. 80s style.

Anna Jayne@twitter

@Kirs LEG WARMERS. They are the best.

rararuby

@Kirs I don't understand leg warmers - they neglect the coldest part of my legs, which are my knees. To me, they are like a sleeveless poloneck jumper, or like wearing a woolen hat and no socks - if it's cold enough for one, it's cold enough for all.

eiffeldesigns

@rararuby then you aren't getting the right leg warmers. Mine I can pull up to my thighs. Which is key, because I'm usually wearing boots, so the lower half of my legs are generally fine.

gobblegirl

@Kirs I was confused by that in the way that a lot of people were confused by the DIY bride thing yesterday. Is this tights-based satire? Because anything with a visible gusset (ie tights) shouldn't be worn without further bum-coverage.

werewolfbarmitzvah

Tell me what to do about friction!!!!! I find that tights work with SOME of my skirts and dresses, but with others the type of fabric in the skirt does not get along with the fabric of the tights, and I have to walk down the street clutching at my skirt so that it doesn't bunch up from the friction of the two fabrics and leave me flashing everybody in town. WHAT TO DOOOOOO!

Blackwatch Plaid

@werewolfbarmitzvah I'd like to also extend this question to the weird wooshing noise that occurs when fabrics don't cooperate. I don't want to sound like George in that one episode of Seinfeld with the discounted suit.

wearitcounts

@werewolfbarmitzvah they make spray for that! in the laundry aisle; it's called static guard. spray on tights and underside of skirt. for a quick fix, you can always just dampen both areas with a little water as well.

nowwhat

@werewolfbarmitzvah A slip! sprayed with some Downy wrinkle releaser on both sides before putting it on.

Alli525

@werewolfbarmitzvah Pinner-on-a-Budget tip: hairspray!

rosaline

@nowwhat Or even JUST a slip!

baked bean

@rosaline Yeah slips have a purpose, idk why they went out. They keep things from being see-through and sticking and stuff.

rosaline

@baked bean We are bringing them back, one Pinner at a time.

werewolfbarmitzvah

Also, holes in the toes! I always end up with holey toes practically on the first wearing! Again, WHAT TO DOOOOOOOO!

rararuby

@werewolfbarmitzvah DARN IT, and then darn it

gobblegirl

@werewolfbarmitzvah How long are your toenails? Have you exfoliated your feet lately? (Sorry if this makes it sound like I think you're gross, it's just those are the only reasons I've ever had holes in the toes of tights).

MilesofMountains

@werewolfbarmitzvah Shorter toe-nails? Or is it your shoes? My mother has a pair of shoes that eats tights and she can't figure out how it does it.

Hellcat

@MilesofMountains I do too; they're a pair of Doc Marten mary janes with clunky heels and a wingtip design. That damn design puts a hole in my tights at the middle-top of my toes, and sometimes even in my actual toes too. I put some Dr. Scholl's (?) sticky-cushiony tape stuff inside the shoe where the edge of the wing tip does the most damage. So far, so good.

The Attic Wife

@Hellcat Not sure if this would work with Mary Janes (definitely won't work with delicate shoes/heels unless you're trying to make a statement), but in order to prolong the life of my tights that I wear with Doc Marten boots, I just wear socks over the tights. Keeps my feet toasty in the winter and you can't see the top of the socks over the tights.

Also, consider: Knit thigh-highs over tights. Protects your tights from premature wear and can be a fun fall fashion.

Hellcat

@The Attic Wife Oh, I'm considering it--and can't wait to do it! I just need to stay on the correct side of the line so as not to look like College Me now that I am 41-Year-Old Me.

Marquise de Morville

@werewolfbarmitzvah It helped me to put some band aids on my toes (not because they are too long, but to prevent rubbing against the shoes.) I also found that medical tape is very sticky and used it to 'tape' the holes shut. Looks terrible since the tape is white, but it prevents further runs, and usually my shoes cover it. It's supposed to be a quick fix, but it did even survive a wash or too...

werewolfbarmitzvah

And the stomach-pinching waistband! OH MY ORGANS. WHAT TO DO.

martinipie

@werewolfbarmitzvah For both this and the holes in the toes--SIZE UP. Someone said it upthread but seriously, buy at LEAST one size larger than you think you need, if not two. They won't squeeze and will get fewer holes and will be harder to snag or run because they aren't stretched so tight across your skin.

Megan@twitter

Honestly, who is wearing these tights, let alone paying $65 for them:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/wolford-charolette-stockings/3290301?origin=category&c

effystonem

@Megan@twitter Those are ridiculous and I LOVE them. There's an entire Wolford shop at the Beverly Center in LA, and every time I pass it I think, "Are these special-made tights that don't run? Because I rip tights LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, which is why all mine are from Walmart and Target" (and I get SUPER pissed if any of my fancy $10 ones get a run).

eiffeldesigns

@Megan@twitter I've got ones that are similar to that style. But I wear funky tights as a matter of course.

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@Megan@twitter GAHAHA! Those are amazing.

Rene @twitter

@Megan@twitter I can't believe the price, but I have heard that wolfords are heavenly but honestly IDK it is allot of money for tights, and those are funky weird.

wee_ramekin

So...wait. Was she serious about pinning your tights to your bra? Do....tights go up that high? I'm confused.

MissHalfway

@wee_ramekin I have a couple pairs that do, but I'm short and they're generally the cheaper "one size fits all" variety. I wouldn't safety-pin them though, I don't see how that wouldn't create huge runs. (And how do you pee!? You'd have to un-pin and re-pin every time!)

angelinha

@wee_ramekin I thought that was a joke, but I'm really tall, so maybe not?

adorable-eggplant

@angelinha Maybe it was all tongue in cheek and I'm just slow?* Because also, why ignore the sizing chart?? It has valuable information that will help you get non-constricting, less prone to run tights every time. Like magic.

*But even so, given the ubiquity of fatphobic content and opinions everywhere on the internet, it would've been nice to see a "jk, your white-tighted legs don't temporarily deafen me: in fact, get down with your bad self" at the end, just to be 100% clear.

Hellcat

@MissHalfway Plus you'll probably end up with both ruined tights and a ruined bra. And perhaps a ruined skin from jabs and stabs!

FirstPreiser@twitter

@adorable-eggplant I couldn't have said it better. I want everyone to get down with their bad selves, preferably to music that is playing in their head, Ally McBeal-style.

fb100003964691892

Eh, I'm gonna look fat no matter what color I'm wearing, so white it is!

(Psssst. being a jerk is never actually as charming in real life as it is in your own head.)

adorable-eggplant

@Ashley Lange@facebook White tights and chunky black maryjanes is one of my all time favorite looks on everybody. Too bad I live in the subtropics. :( We get two weeks tops of tights weather.

Also, being mean to others=more unattractive than any purported fashion faux pas.

Jinxie

@Ashley Lange@facebook I've always had a HUGE problem with the "Oh, you can't wear X; X makes you look fat/short/pasty" sort of fashion advice. If I look fat/short/pasty it's because I AM and no article of clothing is going to change that. I'm convinced that what they mean, when they say that, is more along the lines of "Those tights draw attention to your legs, which aren't model-perfect, and make me uncomfortable." The problem is their perception, not my tights or my legs.

Rene @twitter

@Ashley Lange@facebook I actually like a girl in white tights...

area@twitter

I have found that tights are a great way to feel even more self-conscious about my weight. So, um, thanks for the white tights line.

Jinxie

@area@twitter Well, I think you look gorgeous, and those tights are very becoming on you. [leers approvingly]

fb100003964691892

@area@twitter The only truly unattractive thing is treating other people like dirt. You seem to be doing great, keep on keeping on.

sarah girl

Is there anything to be done about thicker tights that move together weirdly in the upper thigh area? Basically chub rub but with tights on. I have a new pair (actually leggings, but they're pretty sheer) and they make the most bizarre sound when my legs rub against each other. Bike shorts, I guess?

EggsErroneous

I went to Oktoberfest last Saturday, after partying all morning and afternoon...so naturally I was wearing pink checkered pajama pants with a happy face patch on one buttock and a peace sign on the other and in no position to criticize what anyone else was wearing.(I am 30 yo btw...my boyfriend turned a dropping-a-friend-off errand into a let's-continue-the-partying-out-in-public)

I saw this adorable lady coming towards me in a long shirt and tights, and she lifted her arms to fix her hair, and her long shirt came up above her lady bits, and she wasn't wearing underwear, and I was so shocked, and I thought - should I tell her, or does she know? And then I drank more beer.

littlepage

i wear tights all the time. i've given up wearing multiple pairs of tights for fleece tights. they're amazing. fleece inside, solid colors on the outside and oh so cozy. then when people are all "it's cold, why are you wearing tights and not jeans i can be all "jeans? jeans are cotton and freezing. i'm wearing fleece!"

LauraAlien

I'm actually wearing white tights right this second! They are completely necessary for my 60s dresses and I won't have anyone say anything against them.

On the subject of nomenclature - I am British and we have always called these colourful leg wrappings "tights". But don't you Americans call them "pantyhose"? Has this stopped? I'm confused.

Also, are these suddenly on the fashion scene? Opaque tights are so normal here that they wouldn't warrant an amusing Q&A in an online magazine. This might be because it is cold here and we all got used to wearing them with our school uniforms, I don't know. I can't see any alternative to them if you want to wear a skirt in the winter.

Amphora

@LauraAlien I was under the impression that little girls and dancers wear tights and women wear stockings or pantyhose (which are specifically the sheer nude things), but maybe I'm just frumpy. Corduroy pants and cardigans forever!

Pyxis

@LauraAlien I thought that tights were a little thicker than hose, and probably made out of some cotton? And that hose was made out of nylon? I could be wrong.

baked bean

@LauraAlien I feel like tights went out of fashion for about a decade, and now they are back. Srsly. People would wear skirts in the coldest of winter here with bare legs before they were caught with tights on. I would not have been caught dead in a pair of tights in 2003.

anachronistique

@Pyxis That's how I differentiate - pantyhose is very thin and usually in boring colors like black or beige, while tights are thicker and can come in colors and patterns.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Pyxis I am stealing this direct quote from @PistolPackinMama:

Stockings- sexy. Usually don't have the panty part of the panty-hose attached. Usually but not always hold ups or garter/suspenders needed.

Nylons- all things light-weight, made of nylon, covering the legs.

Pantyhose- nylons with the crotch thing.

Tights- opaque, colored or black, patterned sometimes, have a crotch-panty thing. Varying weights, but the lightest weights never are lighter than the heaviest nylons. Sometimes footless. (In Scotland, tights means any kind of leg covering lighter than a legging with a panty, whereas stockings are always thigh-highs of some kind. This weirds me out.)

Leggings- as heavy as or heavier than the heaviest tights. Don't have a change in texture at the thigh. Unlike tights, can be worn with no skirt/shorts/dress over, but the top absolutely has to come down over your butt/crotch and cover your upper thighs.

Amphora

@baked bean Okay, so then my misconception comes from being a kid when they were in fashion, then a teenager when they weren't, and now just generally clueless about Fine Ladywear.

LauraAlien

@baked bean I suppose coloured tights have been very "in" here for about 5 years, but black tights have never really gone away. Bare legs in the winter just doesn't work for me, even if it was 2003. Being cold makes me feel sad.
I think we have a consensus on the name issue - tights are thick, pantyhose are see-through. Thanks for clearing that up! I can understand that, although they are all tights to me.

Poubelle

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Huh, I always used stockings as a synonym for nylons. Or as the giant, fake socks you hung up at Christmas.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Poubelle Yeah, excluding Christmas stockings, I always considered stockings/nylons/pantyhose interchangeable. But I am not as sophisticated a lady as PPM.

Rene @twitter

@LauraAlien Rock your white tights girl!!! Yeah pantyhose are the thin ones and tights are the thick ones on this side of the pond anyway.

area@twitter

OK, so serious question here. I haven't worn tights since I was forced to do so in Catholic school, and the main reason is because they pinch at my waistline and make the soft bits there bulge out in a way that makes me feel unattractive. So! I've worn exclusively pants, with knee-his and kickin' shoes, for years upon years. I thought of branching out this season and going the skirt/tights route. But I'll be honest, if the only way to avoid that depressing chub squeeze is to safety pin myself into my bra, I am fucking out. That sounds like my personal hell.
So 'Pinners. Have you done this? Does your skirt generally neutralize tight horror at the waist? How do I pull this off in a way that makes me feel sexy and pretty and cofident?

baked bean

@area@twitter I feel like the safety pin would just rip the tights...

I imagine if you wear a high-waisted skirt over your tights, and make sure it's you know, a substantial fabric and not stretchy thin tight shit, you'll be fine.

area@twitter

@baked bean Thanks, that's what I'm hoping for. (It's also possible that this whole thing was a joke that I missed, because safety pins? But like I said, haven't worn tights since elementary school.)

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@area@twitter go either way on the length. The long-torso ones you can hike up so the waistband is at your natural waist, and thus not an issue (assuming you are wearing an appropriate size). Alternatively, you can get these sort of hip-hugger ones (much less common!) and the waistband will be down around your hip area instead (less prone to pinching).

baked bean

@area@twitter Yeah I still find them uncomfortable, but I like the way they look and I'm getting more used to it. I'm not a very dressy person.

I'm a small person, and even the skinniest of people get a tights muffin top. I avoid tight knit dresses with my tighter tights and usually opt for leggings.

redheaded&crazy

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Yeah I sometimes roll my tights down to hip hugging place even if they are meant to be up higher, depending on what I'm wearing. If I'm wearing a high waisted skirt, the tights go high waisted. If I'm wearing a hip hugging skirt and whatever i'm wearing on top is slinky or something, I roll them down.

But you have to get good tights to roll them down I think otherwise they will probably do that awful falling down thing that is the worst thing ever.

baked bean

@area@twitter Mmmm also like other comments above, slips might help, adding an extra layer of smoothing. Slips are your friend.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@baked bean Oh gawd, knits are soooo iffy with tights. Anything that shows bumps and bulges (aka pretty much all knit dresses/tunics) should be chosen with extreme care when also wearing tights. I also think that wearing heavier/winter-y textiles better complements the tights look, since you get more variety in texture.

YOU GUYS I COULD TALK ABOUT TIGHTS FOR HOOOUUURRRRSSSSS

sceps yarx

@baked bean I'm a leggings person too, because I hate feeling like my tum is squished. Also, @baked bean, I think we are the same size and kindred clothing spirits. I wish I could invite you to a clothing exchange party! :-)

baked bean

@sceps yarx Ha totes. Except all the clothes I wanna get rid of are probably the clothes you hate too! So we could just borrow things.

I hardly ever dress up ever. The trying to figure out when the weather is appropriate to wear which tights/socks/skirts/etc. is too much work. I think I wore tights once last year in a non-dressy occasion. And I never wear my leggings ever anymore. Again, they are like capri length, so I am either "SHORTS!" Or "PANTS!" never iffy enough to be "CAPRIS!" If I had ankle length ones they'd probably see more use.

werewolfbarmitzvah

@area@twitter For awhile there, my answer to this problem was to wear thigh-high stockings instead, which have the extra benefit of looking super foxy. Buuuuuut, the problem is that sometimes you're strolling along, minding your business, and suddenly your thigh-highs decide to lose all of their gripping power and roll down below your knees in public.

AuntAgatha

Hairpin, if you're going to post stuff like this, please make the bio "Amy Peisner is a professional fatshamer" or something so we know what we're in for.

Oh, squiggles

It's the secret fun of being a fat person...feeling normal for an hour or so before being reminded that you are fat and therefore awful. Surprise!

Etrasath

No sneakers with tights? WRONG!
Pls to go search for "Amy Pond" and look at the pics with the bright red sweater. I will be here when you return, contrite.
*this may be an exclusively Karen Gillan/Amy Pond exception. I know not, for I am not a tights expert.

Pyxis

@Etrasath Of course Amy (and Rory!) are just awesome all over and could get away with wearing whatever. Besides tights are cool!

Etrasath

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me uhhh my GAWD I love this!! Also love: "almost just killed myself looking for decent fullbody shots of Pond in her numerous outfits, amongst some of the most eyeball-vaporising cosplays" bless you, madam.

PatatasBravas

@Pyxis Tights and bowties! And stetsons!

Pyxis

@PatatasBravas And fezes!

keristars

RECOMMENDATION FOR THE AGES.

Seriously.

either a) brightly colored solid tights with a small black or grey or brown fishnet (depending - you want it to match) or b) neutralish tights with brightly colored fishnets.

the trick is to get a small fishnet, say with no more than .5cm between strings. and if you can find one with a floral pattern or something, even better.

I love to wear them with my boots and jean skirts in the autumn and i tend to get loads of compliments. except most of my favorite fishnet tights are getting all torn up because they're not reinforced in the crotch and the split keeps growing.

I learned this from seeing an amazing old woman in Paris in May of 2004, wearing a dark grey skirt suit with electric blue fishnets layered over dove grey tights (it was a cold day). She was in her 60s, I think, and looked so fantastic. The tights weren't "OMGFISHNETS" but instead more of an interesting texture/color? That also made me fall in love with fishnets.

(I have a pair of beige fishnets that are similar to my skintone and I wear them all the freaking time. Most people don't even notice that they're not solid tights, and this is Florida, so the extra airflow to my skin is appreciated. Plus I have a couple skirts that are a smidge too short to wear to work without tights. Sadly, my beige fishnets are just about ready to be tossed. The crotch split is almost halfway down my thighs...)

baked bean

@keristars Ah dude, I needed this advice! I bought some floral-ish fishnets on clearance at target for THREE DOLLARS, and I'd wear them around young people, but I'm afraid in more formal situations they would not be appropriate.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@keristars Wow. Seriously. This maybe will change my life.

happy go lucky scamp

@keristars this also works with lace tights. I have yellow lace tights which blend in with my skin, but if i wear they over grey or black tights they just look awesome.
same with my red fishnets
I do this with any coloured tights I bought because I like the colour but actually can't pull off (hot pink looks great with opaque black roses over the top)
layering tights is awesome! (and good with sneakers)

redheaded&crazy

@keristars this is a great idea and I am going to try this! Between my new goal to buy knee high socks and wear them over tights, and my now even newer goal to buy crazy coloured fishnets and wear them over tights, i really may never wear pants again.

baked bean

@redheaded&crazie Any suggestions about when to wear knee high socks not hiding under jeans? I have some cute ones but never brave enough to wear them visibly. Like the yellow and grey striped over-the-knee ones I bought last week.

Hellcat

@baked bean I love how the socks look sticking out over the top of boots, but I assume to get the full effect, a short skirt or dress is the way to go? For some reason, in my head, this outfit is a short, semi-floaty, floral print with an old-man sweater... but perhaps I'm stuck in the grunge-era in this regard.

baked bean

@Hellcat Hmm, yeah my problem is also when is weather appropriate for short skirts and tall socks? It has to be warm enough for my thighs to not get cold, yet cold enough for my lower legs to not get hot.
Also same with boots. When is it warm enough for short skirt but cold enough for boots? I guess I live in an area of extremes.

redheaded&crazy

@baked bean The only thing that I can think of will work for me would be knee high with tights underneath. Because of the whole weather thing you mention. Like those yellow and grey striped ones ... wear over darker grey tights with a black skirt/dress? or if it were me I might wear them with a purple/grey outfit because I like purple and yellow together and I like lots of colour.

Hellcat

@baked bean A-ha! This is the thing though; I think I might wear shorter things more often in the winter (I'm in NJ) than in the summer precisely because I have boots and big, nubby, woolly tights to rely on! (I do wear tights in the summer with short things, but not the thicker ones usually, and sometimes I'll go with longer skirts and dresses and skip tights so that I can wear flip-flops.)

I'm excited to wear this short little racy zippered faux leather skirt from F21 (I saw it in Lucky) that could so easily "go bad" depending on what it's worn with (or at least be very office inappropriate). But I think a boxy sweater in a neutral gray or black (maybe even a beige-ish?) with thick tights and low-heeled boots would take the edge off the bright red pleather.

Beatrix Kiddo

@keristars Beige fishnets are the best. I can't really wear closed-toe shoes barefoot, because ew, foot sweat, but I don't want to wear pantyhose usually, so if I need a light neutral, beige fishnets to the rescue!
I also like black fishnet over pink tights.

Marquise de Morville

@Beatrix Kiddo Last year I saw a business women on the bus in NYC who looked extremely awesome wearing rainbow (!!) colored fishnets with her otherwise very strict business skirt suit.

Poubelle

@baked bean Wear nylons with the kneesocks? It's what we did at my Catholic school when it got cold (or rather, what the girls who liked knee socks a lot and not navy blue or dark green tights did. Also, knee socks over stockings is warmer than regular tights, or at least it was back then).

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

Regarding the white tights comment:

1-It is really inconsiderately worded, but I don't think intentionally fat-shaming? Not that most fat-shaming is intentional. But yes, it is a shitty comment.

2-The "I can't hear you [insert insult here]" would totally work in a non-fat-shaming scenario; there is no reason to go there. E.g. "I can't hear you over the panting of all the creepy Lolita-fetishizing businessmen."

3-The reason not to wear plain white tights is to not look like a five year old girl. It has nothing to do with supposedly looking fat.

adorable-eggplant

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me But so many people wear white tights! And it looks awesome. For example 60s mod mini dress and white tights=perfection.

I think the don't wear X because you will look Y is problematic in and of itself. It's unfortunate the author chose to say fat (which is a judgement I have heard before about people who don't have Twiggy's build, but choose to rock the retro white tight) but it's still problematic to say that you shouldn't wear white tights so businessmen won't have underage girl fantasy drool.

They're my legs. There's so much judging about women's bodies, as if it's our job to constantly stay ahead of the curve and not offend anyone by being unsightly (while at the same time being careful not to insight anyone to leer). It's just ugh.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@adorable-eggplant Yeah, this is totally true. I agree that there shouldn't be any ultimate rules a la "don't wear X because then Y."

Buuuut. I think if you are not so comfortable with experimenting with fashion, or haven't fully developed a good eye yet, fashion "rules" can be extremely helpful.

Like when Jane said grown ladies should only wear OTK socks with shoes that cover their ankles. She acknowledged that there are some women who rock the sneakers/OTK look and know it, and they should keep on keepin' on. But as a general rule, it works.

Also I think almost all rules/suggestions go out the window when you are attempting a sort of costume type thing. Which I would consider the mod look (in the 21st century) to be a good example of. Not that the look is "costume-y," but that there are a whole different set of rules/styles that you must then keep in mind.

Probs

Definitely, definitely initially read that as two YEARS, three YEARS, not wears.

TARDIStime

@Probs me too! So glad that wasn't what it said, because ew!

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Wait, have I been doing something wrong by not wearing tights that go all the way up to my bra? Mine go to, like, my waist. I'm confused.

TARDIStime

@Rookie This is also what I do, so... Either we're right together or we're wrong together.

werewolfbarmitzvah

@TARDIStime I could probably pull my tights up over my head if I really wanted to. When you're reeeeeeeal short, and short-waisted, those tights can go up to the stratosphere.

Beatrix Kiddo

@Rookie I think they're talking about the dreaded poorly-made tights that go up way too high. I'm always so excited when I buy tights and they only have enough material to come to my waist.

likethestore

How do you stop your tights from falling down, because seriously I am so fed up.

kinbarichan

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me: NOOOO! Don't size up! You can end up with tights that fall down because they're too loose and just slide over your hips. And you can get the dreaded accordion-ankle, as the extra leg material slides down, making pleats around your ankles. I think the most harmonious solution might be wearing your panties over the tights, especially if they're spanx-type elasticized things. They're designed to grip!

roadtrips

@likethestore You can also wear a garter on top of tights. My other solution is kind of gross (maybe?) but it's that I actually wash tights every.... eh. Don't know honestly, but I'll hang them on the line to air out between wearings instead of washing them (I do wash them eventually). Washing degrades the elastic in tights and gives them runs, thusly, they have a shorter life span. When I get to the point that my tights won't stay up anymore, that is when I try to use them for other things, like art projects and hair ties. Wow. I really didn't realize how much I had to say about tights.

Heidi

@likethestore I said this above, but one solution is spanx or other similar garments. Just buy the least supportive kind if you don't want the compression (and, you know, a knock-off brand). Or just thin bike shorts or something similar. Or granny panties OVER the tights.
Or trial and error until you find the exact right brand of tights that work for your torso & leg length, but that gets spendy.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@kinbarichan I was thinking it may have been because they were too short to start? But yes, if it's because they are loose, then obviously don't size up.

cashmere velvet candy cane

"Q: What about white tights?
A: I can’t hear you, your legs look too fat in those white tights."

Say, non-fatphobic Hairpinners, where can a gal buy some white tights?

Tam
Tam

@cashmere velvet candy cane Yeah, this rubbed me the wrong way too.
We Love Colors is a great source for all your tights needs :)

Poubelle

@cashmere velvet candy cane A department store that has a reasonable hosiery section should have enough variety to include some white pairs.

Also, I see them at Walgreens pretty regularly. Along with the suntan nylons I thought we all stopped wearing in 1990.

dontannoyme

Love tights. Am in the UK so wear tights all year (not the same pair!) barring one or two weeks in July if lucky. We just need to work on closing off those two weeks because I would wear tights 365 days a year if I could. Also boots. Could we just delete summer and wear boots and tights all year? Soooo much better.

My daughter (5) came home in just her tights yesterday. She didn't have time to get changed after gymnastics so just put tights on and coat on and voila - a complete outfit to wear home. She didn't see a problem.

Jinxie

@dontannoyme That's adorable! I love kid fashion.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@dontannoyme Reading your comment made me think "This sounds awesome. Maybe I need to live in the UK? Fuck that summer shit."

JadedStone

OMG I WANT TO WEAR MORE LOUD TIGHTS. HOW HAD I FORGOTTEN THE LOUD TIGHT/LEGWARMER COMBO?

Give me all your canadian tight places!

theotherginger

@JadedStone I have gotten some at the Bay - they have a big section, not very expensive. There is also this one sock place I've gone to in the mall in my parents' city - maybe it is called Fancy Sox?

rianne marie

This is only vaguely related to anything in this thread, but I just bought legwarmers and now I keep looking at them and wondering what the hell to do with them. They are a fairly thin brown knit pattern, and I am baffled by my decision. Shopping with my sister is so hazardous because she's one of those gorgeous skinny devil may care people who can wear anything and make it look like it's stylish.

So, ladies with more fashion sense than me, what do I do?

@serenityfound

@rianne marie I find legwarmers super cozy and fun to just wear around the house. It's a little chilly, but I don't really want to wear pants? Shorts and legwarmers (pulled down so they cover half my feet)! Or with leggings, a skirt, and sneakers. But I am not a lady with fashion sense, so take that with a grain of salt.

Michelle Rothrock@facebook

What I really, really need to know: what if you want to wear tights BUT you've always secretly wanted Chun-Li thighs, and you're totally saddened by the slimming effects of tights, and usually forgo them in favor of the flatteringly thick layers of leggings and pants that cold weather finally allows?

Kira-Lynn@twitter

"Q: What about white tights?
A: I can’t hear you, your legs look too fat in those white tights."

Oh, um, fuck you.

FickleMoon

Three pairs?! Buy cashmere/wool mix tights. So warm. Too warm. But warmer than jeans for sure.

FickleMoon

Also buy Falke tights. They are crazy expensive but they never ladder, never get holes, never fall down, never fade, are so comfy and are a true dark black opaque. Cheaper in the long run than buying multiple pairs of cheap tights.
I say this as a girl who hasn't worn trousers for six years and lives in the cold rainy UK.

Mosey

I have three drawers just for tights. I get mine from Tabio and M&S. Tabio is great for super luxuries but I must say, when it comes to knitted and warmer tights, Marks and Spencers beats everyone else hands down. I have five pairs of these grey knitted tights they do because they are so fabulous that I keep wearing them out.

Rene @twitter

@Mosey I think 3 drawers might constitute a fetish, but you rock it girl!

Katerina Tziougras@facebook

What if the crotch of my tights is always falling down between my thighs and chafing me?

ALWAYS

Rene @twitter

hahaha 3 pairs of tights at once? WOW!!! That sounds kinda painful to me. But I might give it a try, maybe... lol

Gabriela Miankova@facebook

No white tights? Um, have you seen Gossip Girl? White tights can look incredible if paired with adult-woman, sophisticated fashion wear. Or A-line skirts! Granted, you need to be youthful looking in order to pull off that stuff to begin with, but it is doable for those of us that actually can. Same goes for bows (only youthful looking girls can pull that stuff off).

If this isn't classy, I don't know what is: https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/68613_541648769179057_1900019282_n.jpg (via Skinny Liar)

By the way: 3 pairs of tights on? Now *that* makes you look chunky.

1963248500@twitter

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1963248500@twitter

but they're one of two colors that matches my favorite between-seasons dress (it's really colorful, so colored tights are out). I am super-tall so don't look like a kid anyway, but I wear them with tall boots or heels to tone them down and mitigate their unflatteringness. mountain house

wineaux

as a guy, I love wearing tights in the winter time.

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