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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

71

25 Is the Magic Number

These 25 words hold the key to American commercial television. These are the only 25 words you need. Any combination of two — any combination of two — would make an entirely plausible, fairly easily imaginable broadcast or cable series. Don't believe me? Try out the 25 Magic Television Words for yourself.

Linda Holmes with a "crackpot theory" — her words, not ours. Not sure Heat Pets or Pets Heat would be hits, but Love 911 and Storm Forever show promise.



71 Comments / Post A Comment

Emby

Heat Pets.

stavros

I showed my friend this. @m

The Lady of Shalott

I would watch the shit out of any show involving storms. ANY ONE.

Or possibly Cupcake Justice, which could be either a show that had mostly teams staking out different snooty cupcake bakeries to find out that they actually use Duncan-Hines instead of baking from scratch! Or that their frosting is NOT 100% vegan! Actually, I would watch that, too, but the other idea I had was like what would happen if Elle Woods went on to become a highly successful criminal prosecution attorney.

Megasus

@The Lady of Shalott yes! I was totally in here to say Cupcake Justice would be amazing.

TheLetterL

@Megano! I was going to go for Cupcake Law, but YES!

EpWs

@The Lady of Shalott I came here for Justice Cupcake. This is why we're friends.
(TWO OPTIONS: Either Justice Cupcake is about a supreme court justice who is also a kitten (could be a puppy) OR the Justice Cupcake is a weapon of...justice. Sweet, buttercreamy justice.)

area@twitter

Coming soon, ALASKA CUPCAKE TRUCKER

SarcasticFringehead

@area@twitter I skimmed past this, and for a second I thought it said Ask A Cupcake Trucker.

area@twitter

@SarcasticFringehead I'd be up for that too.

EpWs

It's hard work, haulin' cupcakes. Sometimes you'll hit a squall of bad weather, or a wreck up ahead, or get shot up at a truck stop. But that's when you just keep going and you push on through the night, knowing that there'll be daybreak ahead, because you're a cupcake trucker, dammit, and people need you.

teebs

Storm Justice. I would watch Storm Justice.

aliceandstuff

@teebs Storm Justice: Storm forever.

Megasus

Real Diner Fashion!

juksie

I would watch the bejesus out of the following:
Mystery Pets
Cupcake Force
Mob Diner
Forever Mystery
Actually, Mystery and just about any of these I would watch. Mystery Diner? Mystery Doctor? Mystery Force?! All sound amazing. As do Diner Mystery and Doctor Mystery.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@juksie
Mystery Trucker, though? Maybe not so much.

juksie

@Rock and Roll Ken Doll BUT Trucker Mystery!!! Reality show about disappearing truckers OR cable drama about truckers paid to transport weird things places! Probably having to do with aliens. I'd be down for Saturday afternoon marathons of both of those.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@juksie
Oh hell yeah! I've got my weekend plans now!

aliceandstuff

Cupcake Fashion all the way for me.

Anchovy Cake

Trucker Pets
Fashion Mystery
Cupcake Justice

Love <3 <3 these are all great

beanie

@Anchovy Cake sooo I've recently found out that truckers often take along a dog with them because they get lonely on the road. I would watch the shit out of Trucker Pets!

TARDIStime

@beanie that sounds like a truly heartwarming show.

Tuna Surprise

I don't know what exactly Diner Justice is, but I'll tune in to see it get dished out!

Ophelia

@Tuna Surprise I HOPE it's Nancy Grace, in a diner, berating people for what they're eating as she consumes an entire pie.

narwhalsandwich

The Cupcake Mysteries?

travelmugs

I want to watch CELEBRITY PETS LAW. Custody suits over expensive purse-dogs! Imagine the streaming mascara, the sad yipping in the witness stand!

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

I didnt see "stupid" or "bullshit" anywhere on there

Cawendaw

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood Well, of course not. Reviewers probably have their own list of 25 words.

Ophelia

CUPCAKE 911

Also, this is clearly how they came up with the name for Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

TARDIStime

@Ophelia Also, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

cuminafterall

Heatstorm: American Revolution will be the 2022 reality show about vigilante militias in the new (global-warming-caused) Dust Bowl.

cuminafterall

@cuminafterall Trucker Pets Doctor is obviously a sitcom about sex and dating in the post-mancession era.

Ophelia

@cuminafterall Chicago, Alaska will be the soap/drama about what happens when the entire population of the US moves into Canada/Alaska.

Kinloch

This explains why "Terriers" was so short lived!

JessicaLovejoy

@Kinloch I laughed and then was sad.

Kinloch

@JessicaLovejoy I am doomed to love smart, quirky shows that never find an audience. Seriously- what were they thinking branding the show with that name?

fondue with cheddar

@Kinloch "God loves a terrier
yes he does
God loves a terrier
that's because
small sturdy bright and true
they give their love to you
God didn't miss a stitch
be it dog or be it bitch
when he made the Cairn merrier
with his cute little 'derrier'
yes God loves a terrier!"

alamuzmo

@Kinloch @a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) Terriers are my very favorite breed!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR5negCF024

fondue with cheddar

@alamuzmo OMG I forgot about that! THANK YOU.

JessicaLovejoy

Mob Cupcake - Kristin Chenowith as moll Conchetta "Cupcake" Colazzi who works her way up to queenpin. Squeakily!

cuminafterall

@JessicaLovejoy I would watch this AND buy the series on DVD.

laurel

FOREVER PETS: Gentlemen, we can rebuild them.

fondue with cheddar

@laurel It worked in The Reanimator.

laurel

@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325): :::shudders:::

nonvolleyball

I call shenanigans on this list based on the absence of "breaking."

Ophelia

@nonvolleyball Or "-licious" as a suffix.

EpWs

@Ophelia Breakinglicious.

fondue with cheddar

CUPCAKE REVOLUTION

Cawendaw

@a whole thing of candy beans (formerly jen325) "A revolution without cupcakes is not a revolution worth having."
-Emma Goldman, shortly before dessert

whizz_dumb

"America: Country" It's actually a continent, stupids.

RK Fire

I wanted to shout out "Mob Cupcake Force!" but then I realized that this rule only applies to two word phrases. :(

Megasus

@RK Fire It does work for three though

RK Fire

@Megano!: Oh good! Because there was only so much I could do with cupcake.

Jaya

I would watch FOREVER DOCTOR: THE DOCTOR WHO WOULDN'T DIE

remargaret

@Jaya That's what's great, Doctor Who doesn't die! He just comes back handsomer.
(JK Tennant forevs)

TARDIStime

@remargaret TBH, it's a grey area.
I feel sorry for the first Doctor of the reboot - he never gets the same tribute love the others do. :-( I never bothered to learn the actor's name and have always referred to him as the Leather Jacket One.

sony_b

@TARDIStime Christopher Eccleston. I lurve him and his goofy ears. He is also in one of my favorite ridiculous movies of all time - The Revenger's Tragedy. Eddie Izzard, Derek Jacobi too. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286921/

TARDIStime

@sony_b His ears are so excellent! This movie is now on my to-find list for this weekend sometime!

QuadrophonicSound

ALASKA CUPCAKE: Documenting the difficulties of keeping a gourmet cupcake store open in Valdez, AK. (It was temping to set it in SE, in Kake, AK). Then there is the exciting crossover with STORM TRUCKERS as they anxiously await a supply shipment in a blizzard. WILL they arrive in time to keep the store going? WILL the seventy bajillion feet of snow keep away the customers needed to keep the shop profitable?

[redacted]

@Quadrophenia I'm reading this like a week late, but I think this programming hour should be followed in the 9pm timeslot by ALASKA FOREVER, in which Tim Riggins leaves Texas to become a salmon fisher and teaches football to the local Inuits. And takes off his shirt but gets very cold, but keeps taking it off anyway.

Elsajeni

As someone pointed out in the comments over there, this list is missing PARANORMAL.

(I would watch PARANORMAL CUPCAKE for sure.)

Megasus

@Elsajeni YES

Elsajeni

@Megano! PARANORMAL TRUCKER, PARANORMAL DINER, and PARANORMAL FASHION also sound promising. I think PARANORMAL PETS might already be on the air.

Megasus

@Elsajeni I would watch Paranormal Diner all day every day.

Elsajeni

@Megano! Brb, writing a script for the pilot.

lauren.elizabeth

DOCTOR CHICAGO. Doctor Zhivago set in a challenging Chicago hospital?

I smell burnt toast

@lauren.elizabeth That is actually brilliant. Someone should make that.

shellyp

They forgot Pawn.

Agarina

I don't know what Mystery Wars is about, but I'm absolutely intrigued, and somebody needs to get on it right away.

Springtime for Voldemort

I would totally watch Cupcake Pets, Celebrity Pets, and Mob Doctor.

MuffinMan

I think what this post has told us is how interested Hairpinners are in TV shows about cupcakes. Networks, take notice!

They must have caught the fever on Pinterest.

Let's watch THE LOVE MOB

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