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Friday, August 31, 2012

1403

Friday Open Thread

Have a lovely long weekend, and we'll see you back here on Tuesday.



1403 Comments / Post A Comment

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

Hi im seeing PRINCESS MONONOKE today with that cute lady im seeing and im super excited ok ilu bye

Statham

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood I love Studio Ghibli movies. Have fun!

rosencrantz

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood Is it Miyazaki week already?!? (I'm taking the world-revolves-around-me view that you're talking about the Brattle in Cambridge. You're in Boston?)

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

@rosencrantz YESSSSS IM SEEING MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO/KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE TOMORROW!

anachronistique

@rosencrantz Whaaaaaaaat how did I not know this existed?

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

@anachronistique DUDE http://brattlefilm.org/category/calendar-2/repertory-series/spirited-away-the-films-of-hayao-miyazaki-and-studio-ghibli/

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood
I like to recommend to parents that they show their small children Pom Poko. Haha parents, I just set you up for a bunch of awkward questions about genitals ("mom can they REALLY do that?")!

rosencrantz

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood TOTORO! I haven't seen that one in yeaaars.

@anachronistique It's amaaaazing. Heck we should have a Hairpinners Go See A Studio Ghibli Movie night!

anachronistique

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood AAAAAAAAAAAAH

@rosencrantz Oh my god, Whisper of the Heart on Wednesday. I MAY HAVE TO MISS THE PINUP FOR THIS

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

@rosencrantz YES I AM SO IN FAVOR OF THIS

New Hoarder

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood Jealous! That sounds amazing!

Actually, now that I think about it, I think I have at least Spirited Away, Castle in the Sky, and Princess Mononoke on DVD (*consults DVD library spreadsheet*)... okay, not CITS, but Ponyo! Looks like I will make my own little festival, complete with open windows, probably sans other people. =-/

New Hoarder

@New Hoarder Oooh, no gurrrl, it's HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE with CHRISTIAN BALE'S voice that you have. So THERE'S THAT.

breccia

@josiahg Pom Poko is the BEST! Tanukis are just such fabulous creatures. "Ha ha ha guys, I totally just made my balls look like a delicious picnic setting all covered with food and drinks and shit. This guy saw it and sat down on the blanket to eat and I was like PSYCHE ITS MY BALLS DUDE and he ran away screaming. HIGH FIVE, Y'ALL."

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@breccia: Oh man, laff. 'What if raccoons had nuts for days?'

rosencrantz

@anachronistique NOOOOO -- wait, is that really not repeated another night? How dare they! Making you pick sides.

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood YES.

Wait, how do people plan things?

HEY BOSTON

LET'S SEE A MOVIE.

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

@rosencrantz the boston hairpin google group thing???? which one are we thinking?

rosencrantz

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood Google group, right!

I could really go for any of them. Something after the Pinup would probably be best, probably. I'm going to go post a message to the google group RIGHT NOW.

Bittersweet

@rosencrantz et al: a;slkfklajsd;lafkjdglkj, this looks so awesome. I am disappointed that I won't be able to make any of the movies, between being on the Cape this weekend, work during the week and traveling next weekend/week. Argh!

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood Your life is so fun!

Lily Rowan

Hey Boston peeps -- I totally forgot to post about this, but the next Pinup is WEDNESDAY, at The Field in Central Sq.

wallsdonotfall
TheDragon

@wallsdonotfall YES! Thank you!

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@wallsdonotfall
I am ready to wash my face with bleach now, thanky ou.

schrodingers_cat

@wallsdonotfall yeah, I saw that pop up in my news reader and said no thanks, not reading that today

area@twitter

Yaaaaaaay it's EARLY! I can do open thread before leaving for my visit at 3!
Wise 'Pinners, any advice on not going nuts while waiting for important news? I did a second interview for a really nice job last week and I'm impatiently waiting to hear back.
Also: Should I bake myself some Brie while I'm dogsitting this weekend? I'm thinking yes.

TheDragon

@area@twitter Always go for the Brie while dog sitting.

Plant Fire

@area@twitter Just try to distract yourself with other things. I always send a thank you note and the immediately after tell myself to forget about the job and forget that I ever applied that way I don't worry and fret so much while I'm waiting. Also, yes, always Brie.

ReginaSavage

@area@twitter I'm waiting to hear back about an interview too and its KILLING ME!

Megasus

@Dragon The dog will probably want some though, be prepared to share

ReginaSavage

@Megano! And then be prepared to share the dog farts afterwards!

Alli525

@ReginaSavage One Farty Girl and Her Farty Dog that Wasn't Actually Hers.

Megasus

@Alli525 Story of my life guys

area@twitter

Thanks all! My brother's dog (known variously as an American Snoozehound and a Couchweiler) will definitely want some brie, I'll have to see if I can fend him off.
And I just now realized that I should have sent a thank-you note. Damn it. Interview was last Wednesday, you think it's too late to send one out?

Plant Fire

@area@twitter Not too late! I mean in the future send them out within 48 hours but I figure this time it will be fine. I figure, to make up for it throw in a question you'd like to ask so it doesn't just seem like a late thank you note. So like "blah blah thank you for meeting with me last week blah blah [reference something in the interview] blah blah. I also wanted to ask...." and then throw in a brilliant question for them. Look through the interview archives on askamanager.com they tend to have good follow up questions! Good luck!

area@twitter

@Sea Ermine Great- thank you for the suggestion! I'll do a little reading on their projects this weekend and see what I can come up with.

Statham

Last weekend of summer bliss before I start a new school year. Any ideas on what I should do?

dale

@Statham Is there a small amount of housecleaning you need to get out of the way before you get rolling with school? I'd do that first (I like doing the crappy things first and then having All The Rest Of The Weekend to do fun things).

Get up early one morning and watch the sunrise? Or if you're a night person, stay up late and watch the stars come out? Watch a season of some TV show you're behind on?

Statham

@dale I am actually in the middle of cleaning right now since I'm the same way. I also am going to do groceries and then make some stuff for my classroom. Buuut that still leaves me with about 3 days to myself.

Getting up early could be nice though.

Weasley

@Statham

On my free day before school starts I'm going to repaint my kitchen porch. It's going to be thrilling.

Statham

@Weasley Ooohhh. You should paint it something crazy.

EpWs

@Weasley Don't forget to paint the ceiling of the porch blue!

dale

Wow! It's so early!

I shall therefore remind everyone of our pet pictures tumblr - pinpets.tumblr.com
The submission page --> pinpets.tumblr.com/submit

The submission page has two options. It defaults to a text post, which is terrible for posting pictures in. Use the photo post (it's in the drop-down at the top of the submission field) instead and you'll be fine. Make sure to include your pin name in the little narrative box after your writeup about your pet.

And if you're having troubles of any kind, email me your text and picture at pinnerpets {at} gmail {dot} com and I will post 'em for you. I try to log in semi-regularly to approve posts, so it should only be a few hours before your post goes up.

Post pics of your kittens! Your puppies, fish, ferrets, hedgehogs! Current pets, childhood pets, pets who are now gone. All are welcome.

Porporina

@dale Holy crap! Everyone has the cutest pets ever!

lavender gooms

@dale Ohhh, I know what I'm doing when I get home!

ColdFinger

@dale Whoa whoa whoa. I didn't know this existed! (But also I don't tumblr... I hope I figure it out!)

dale

@ColdFinger You don't have to have a tumblr of your own (although many 'pinners do, and follow this one) to submit a pic, so don't worry about that! Just use the submission page, and really, if you run into any serious problems, just email me the details and I'll do it for you!

so what?

@dale oh god, i just died. those pets! they are all so cute! this is really not helping my overwhelming desire to get a dog.

VelourFog

@dale doing this... now

yarabollocks

@dale
Just give me an excuse to show people pictures of my cat.

ColdFinger

@dale Yes, it was just freezing up on my work computer, thanks. I can haz pet photos!!!

elsbels

Someone on some forum posted that the anagram for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan = My Ultimate Ayn Rand Porn. I'm not American, but this is funny to me.

entangled

@elsbels I was running a trivia night last night and someone submitted that. Had no idea it was an anagram and kept reading it as "My Ultimate Ayn Rand Paul" or "My Ultimate Ayn Rand Paul Porn."

Plant Fire

I feel like every interview I do goes super well and they like me and then suddenly at the very end of the process an internal candidate swoops in and gets the spot. I just need to get a job somewhere so that I can be the internal candidate. Crossing my fingers that I hear back from the temp agency I went to soon because Im so sick of writing cover letters, I just want to get a job (even a short term one) so I can take a break for a week or two before coming back to it.

New Hoarder

@Sea Ermine The internal candidate thing, ugh! I often seriously think about taking a paycut and applying for a lesser position at another firm/ agency so I can then get my ideal, higher-paying job!

romastrega

@Sea Ermine Yup. I have been applying to jobs I am PERFECT for and then I hear through the grapevine they already had someone in house in mind.... so frustrating! I've been thinking temp agency as well... as well as New Hoarder's idea of taking something beneath my level of experience. Ugh. I am so over being unemployed.

HeyMatilda

@Sea Ermine SAME. The mysterious internal candidate is the bane of my existence!!!

Plant Fire

@New Hoarder I actually just applied for a couple secretary positions that only require high school diplomas (I just got my bachelors and have a year/year and a half of clerical experience) at the place where my dream job is, in the hopes that I can move up that way. Someone who works there told me that she's known people who've done that before so hopefully it will work out. Unless even the lower level positions have internal candidates waiting in the wings.

Plant Fire

@romastrega In my case most of the interviewers have said that they really liked me or that I was their first choice but then late in the process an internal candidate applied! So frustrating to know that I could have had the job if someone hadn't snatched it up at the last moment!

Alli525

@Sea Ermine I don't know if you're in NYC or a similarly-big city, but if your city has multiple temp agencies, sign up for as many of them as you think you can juggle reasonably. That was my biggest mistake when I moved to NYC - I stuck with just one agency for a whole year, and as their jobs started to dry up I felt stuck. Then I signed up for 2 or 3 more agencies as well, and landed a temp job that has now become a permanent job that I love.

(If you - or anyone else - ARE in NYC, I'd be glad to share my specific contacts, just let me know.)

Plant Fire

@Alli525 Thanks for the tip! I am in NYC and I signed up for 3 but this is the only one that will respond to any of my emails/calls whatever. I'm thinking of finding another one (someone just recommended Atrium to me) where I can maybe walk in and talk to someone to make sure that my resume gets at least looked at.

Alli525

@Sea Ermine Atrium is fine, GreenKey is much better. Ask for Lori Suschin at Atrium and Clare Wright at GreenKey! Also try Debbie Kim at Solomon Page, but everyone at SP is amazing. (Tell them Alli Cooke sent you!)

Plant Fire

@Alli525 Thanks so much! I just sent my resume to them and I'll call on Tuesday to see if I can meet someone to talk with. Thanks!!

grumpasaur

@Alli525 I'm super late to the party, but oh my goodness, I have been looking for a better job in NYC, and to stumble across this is kind of a miracle. I've had no luck with two temp agencies, and I'm currently working a hellish job in a cafe! Hairpinners always come through!

Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

Okay, so, that thread about fandom drama got me thinking. Was anyone else less involved in Harry Potter fanfic, but more involved in Harry Potter online message board roleplaying (like me)???

Like, specifically, I rediscovered this Harry Potter roleplaying message board I used to play on and had totally forgotten about: HP Universe

I feel like this community and the Hairpin community could totally have a little overlap... Anybody?

Statham

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas I did forever ago, but not on that site. Hahahaha.

maybe partying will help

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

I did some Tamora Pierce online RPG loooong ago.

anachronistique

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas Not on that board, but on Livejournal. And one of the people I met through it is still one of my best friends almost ten years later. WOO INTERNETS.

frigwiggin

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas Yeah, I was completely into HP roleplaying...it was a different site, I forget what it was called now. I had my dopey OC with purple hair and everything.

@anachronistique My best friend met one of her good friends through it too! Who is consequently one of my friends now. We were both in friend #1's wedding in May. WOO INTERNETS INDEED

Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

@anachronistique @frigwiggin Eee, that's amazing!! My goofy OC had white hair and special wind powers or something.

@all I also remember IRC chatting being heavily involved for some reason. Does stuff like this still even go on? Like, are Twilight and Hunger Games fans RPGing?

maybe partying will help

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

There are quite a few RPGs on Tumblr for various fandoms, I think.

anachronistique

@maybe partying will help I still RP on InsaneJournal (TERRIBLE name but that is where the games are), but Tumblr games... I don't get it. I don't understand how it works! I FEEL OLD.

'riel

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas This might be one of the very places in the world I can confess I totally did that too. Oh, what if some of them from my board are on here...that would be dope!

Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

@'riella That's kind of what I was hoping for! "Let's all share how we've grown since we spent our days and nights semi-secretly pretending to live at Hogwarts."

Elsajeni

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas I played in a multi-fandom Livejournal RPG for a couple years. (I was Luke Skywalker.)

muggles

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas AHH OMG YES. Now I don't remember the name of the one I played, but it was a similar set up on a message board. Everyone was obsessed with making those little cartoon "dollz" with the different clothes and stuff?? I also totally (innocently) did the msscribe thing and had two characters but pretended to be two different people... but it was because I hadn't made any friends as the first person. #teenagecreys

Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

@Elsajeni YOU ARE MY HERO

@muggles I did the online dress-up doll thing tooooo! I totally forgot about that. I wonder how much the internet contributed to my teenage body issues. (Answer: probably 90%.)

redheaded&crazy

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas oh guys i was never at all active in the hp fandom aside from consuming unholy amounts of slashfic and that ms scribe story was totally new to me and I actually spent a day where I should have been doing fun things, sneaking back to my room to read and re-read it and then think about it oh jesus christ.

anyways the closest I ever got, it was definitely a livejournal rpg, and I was rita skeeter

hahahahahehehehe (I was damn good too) (but I lacked tenacity and dropped it after a couple posts)

squishycat

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas I totally spent the summer I was 15 or 16 at Virtual Hogwarts (which eventually became non-HP-themed because of something WB did). Also my friends and I had by that point already made our HP self-insert characters *anyway*, so it was just a matter of playing them with strangers instead of each other. (I also read tons of fanfic and hilariously enough a good friend ended up close in real life with a bunch of people who were BNF-types and also the center of much drama.)

Elsajeni

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas Haha, thank you! It was pretty rad. I got in-game married and everything! (I also briefly played a side character from Lord of the Rings, but had to drop him when people started asking me Silmarillion-based questions I couldn't answer. It was the only time in my life I have been INSUFFICIENTLY NERDY.)

Amphora

@maybe partying will help ME TOO! On AOL, no less. Those were the dark ages.

Weasley

I picked up my textbooks today! Classes start on Wednesday! I'm so excited. I'm also going to start seeing people I haven't seen is soooo long, like over a year.

Does anyone have any advice on getting people you live with to do their fair share of the housework? I was thinking of getting a dry erase board, draw a weekly calendar that have different chores for the different days of the week and make people initial things as they do them. That way we can do away with the "wah wah wah I did this and he doesn't do anything" bullcrap. Also, to have quality control. I was putting away dishes today and a lot of them weren't even clean! Like still greasy or had caked on shit still on it.

yeah-elle

@Weasley I am all for the dry erase board method. It worked well when I lived in a house with 6 other girls for a few months. Some people might call it micromanaging, but seriously? Accountability, fair distribution of work, PLUS it guarantees that every aspect of the housework is addressed, so certain things like vacuuming or dusting don't get left behind in the dust (hoho, so clever). A rotating schedule helps, so the same people don't get stuck scrubbing the toilet every week.

adorable-eggplant

@Weasley I read the advice (on CaptainAwkward, somewhere) of suggesting to roommates: "We can either do the choreboard thing, and then I will whip you into submission via whining and angry notes... OR we can all do a whip round to hire a cleaner who will come by monthly/weekly etc. so I don't have to carry the burden of being the only one who really cares."

I thought this was genius, and I'm 100% the messy one in every shared-living space endeavor I've ever undertaken.

Lily Rowan

@yeah-elle UNLESS someone doesn't mind/has a certain way something should be done. My cleanest roommate always cleaned the bathroom, because she would be pissed if it were dirty and/or not cleaned right, whereas she didn't care as much about the floors, so mopping became my job.

Alli525

@Weasley A really easy way to do it is to create the grid and chores in NON-dry-erase marker (so, like, transparency markers, remember those?? or sharpies) and then having the column with the roommates' names in them, in dry-erase marker... so that way you can rotate the names without erasing/smudging the entire grid.

This is, of course, assuming that you want to do a grid, and not just a list like "dust, toilet, dishes - ALLI525" and "vacuum, sink, recycling - WEASLEY." Which I guess would make more sense visually but I REALLY LIKE CHARTS OK? :D

Weasley

@Alli525

That's a good idea! I really like charts too ;)

TheLetterL

@Lily Rowan That is a key point! Everyone has their quirks -- I am ALL ABOUT cleaning bathrooms but couldn't care less about dust -- and as long as basic standards are being met, no one should be hostage to someone else's quirks.

schrodingers_cat

@Weasley I thought that was a good idea, until we tried it, and I lived with someone who didn't feel the need to wash our limited supply of dishes and pots more than once a week, so they piled up in the sink until I or one of my other roommates needed something and washed it. So, if you've lived with these people before, think about HOW they do chores, and whether or not you can stand having them responsible for things like that.

Queen of Pickles

@Weasley

I highly recommend:

1. House meetings. All the good stuff like white boards, chore wheels, etc, work best when everyone agrees on it. It makes everyone feel like they have a say. Plus, then you get to have a section of the meeting called "Pet Peeves & Grievances" where you say "I was putting away some dishes, and they were pretty greasy. Just wanted to make sure you guys were washing with hot water, soap, scrubbing with sponges, etc." Because it's at the house meeting, people are usually more receptive than if you just said this offhand. Other examples: "I've been noticing a lot of socks lying around, and it's driving me nuts." "If you leave the really nice cutting knife in water, it'll rust and go blunt." Etc.

2. I also recommend group cleaning sessions. Put it on your collective calendar - every other Sunday, blast music and divide up the house. Attack it with broom, mop, scrubby things. It's a great feeling, and bonds you all together.

supernintendochalmers

@Weasley Seconding the group cleaning sessions and ROTATING responsibilities. In my college apartment we cleaned rotating rooms every Sunday and our place was always pretty clean. We were also all competitive people and would try to one-up each other, which was fun and made the house much cleaner! (And the curation of coffee table and bathroom reading got REAL.) Some people feel very strongly against chore wheels but in my experience, houses that use it are usually cleaner than ones that don't.

Hot Doom

Is there a London or UK based group of 'Pinners that do 'pin-ups? Since I'm from LA but living abroad, I get jealous of the LA 'Pinners goin out for cocktails and whoopin' it up. I want that here too! live in Brighton, but I would totally travel to London for a THING.

katiethegreat

@LolaLaBalc Yes! There is a facebook group here: http://www.facebook.com/groups/295781653770999/ I haven't actually been to anything yet because really I live in York, but I will be moving to Essex in a month so might actually make it to something!

Hot Doom

@katiethegreat Woohoo, thanks for that!!

austengirl

@katiethegreat Thanks for this link! Where in Essex will you be? I've just moved to Cambridge and was wondering if there was a 'pinners group in the region.

katiethegreat

@austengirl What my parents call "Suffolk borders"... so less than an hour from Cambridge. I think there is only a London one? But I may well be wrong (I hope I am!).

austengirl

@katiethegreat I guess London counts as being in the region since it's commuting distance...I moved down here from Cumbria, so most places seem closer together. ;)

theotherginger

@austengirl people, I had a mini pinup of two. you can do it!

yeah-elle

So early! Between this, Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros on Pandora, and the thought of taking a nap when I get home...I might just make it through the work day.

ReginaSavage

@yeah-elle LOVE Joe strummer and the Mescaleros!!! I could listen to those albums all day every day and never get tired of them!

yeah-elle

@ReginaSavage Yesss and the selection Pandora has set up for their station is so good. Lots of Billy Bragg & Wilco, Pixies. Happy, happy ears for me.

ReginaSavage

@yeah-elle Very happy indeed! All that sounds awesome!

youresmalltime

I feel like I have no idea what to do for fun/where to meet smart, nerdy, fun people in Alexandria now that I'm here. OH WAIT I feel like I have no idea because I don't.

WaityKatie

@youresmalltime If it's Alexandria Virginia, the answer would be "in DC." (don't go to the Alexandria places they are full of tools!) If it's Alexandria, Egypt, I can't really help you sorry.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@youresmalltime: If it's the Byzantine city of Alexandria Troas, I'd recommend hiding various artifacts away until you can recover them when you come back to the present day in your time machine

New Hoarder

@youresmalltime Oh! Alexandria is my jam! Let's lobby for the next DC 'Pinup to be there! Muahahaha.

Plant Fire

@youresmalltime Maybe you can organize a NOVA pinup?

Biketastrophy

@youresmalltime You can meet lots of nerdy musically inclined people at MAGfest(Music and Gaming Festival) in January.(www.MAGfest.org)

But most of them won't be from Alexandria, including me.

Thats all I really know about Alexandria.

runner in the garden

@youresmalltime there will be tons of cool hip friendly people (including all your favorite cartoonists and webcomics people) at SPX in Bethesda in two weeks! It's on the Metro! It's so great! You should definitely come.

VelourFog

@runner in the garden SPX is so fun. I went last year and met Craig Thompson and the Super Art Fight guys. If you go this year, be sure to catch Super Art Fight.

elbows on the table

@WaityKatie aw sad day, I love Alexandria.

ReginaSavage

My life is still terrible for the most part. BF and I went away for 2 weeks and it was good, really good.

And I saw an add posted on kijiji looking to fill a position in the industry I used to work in (optical) which I'm qualified for, is right down the street from where I work now and pays about the same. I sent my resume and they called within an hour! So I set up an interview for Wednesday which was.... Less than sepctacular? I mean they were nice enough, and the place is nice but it was all a bit rushed. And now I'm waiting for what seems like the phone call that will never come. Because I really, really want to get the fuck out of this soul-sucking corporate finance job. I didn't even remember that I hate my job this much until the chance to do something else came up. Either that or I just reall <3 eyeballs or something...

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@ReginaSavage: Will you be able to give 'pin discounts on LASIK? :D

ReginaSavage

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS This is a possibility. ;)

katiethegreat

I always think of a million things to talk about in the FOT during the week, but when it finally arrives I can think of none of them. Oh well.

This week my housemate and I made churros, which was exciting! They were good except I kinda burnt them all so they looked a bit like small burnt poos. We used a Nigella recipe so we now have SO MUCH chocolate sauce leftover. Which is basically an anti-problem, but still feels like a bit of a burden!

Hot Doom

@katiethegreat How'd the texture of the churros (poorros? I kid!) turn out? I tried making some and they were sort of sodden, heavy things, so a tested recipe would be awesome.

katiethegreat

@LolaLaBalc Once I worked out that the oil needed to be much less hot than it was, they were kinda crispy on the outside but doughnut-esque on the inside? The first three quarters were burnt on the outside and raw-ish on the inside, but actually still quite yummy.

Hot Doom

Also, FML, my dissertation is due on Monday and I will be turning it in late. Though I've got letters from my doctors here saying I was depressed, the brain who wrote my GP letter got my gender pronoun wrong (I am a girl, she met me, I have a girl name for reference) so I need to get those redone so the dept commitee isn't all 'oh, yeah clearly they know this person. NOT!'. Which= more stress!

frigwiggin

ATTENTION ALL PINNERS

If anybody wants to do a mix CD swap, email me at figwiggin [at] gmail [dot] com! Give me your contact info, whether you can ship internationally, and any personal music info you think would be helpful to your swap partner, and I'll hook you up with someone who'll send you some sweet tunes!

Alternately, just send a mixtape to your regular pinpal and call it good.

And yes, you CAN have multiple mixtape partners! I've been starting everybody out with one each, but if you've already sent one out, feel free to request another! Just make sure you aren't being overly ambitious, we want everybody to be able to get the music they're expecting.

(Yes, I will keep doing this until the end of time.)

Anybody sent out their mixtapes yet?!

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@frigwiggin
Aah I've got it all set up but I haven't burned it yet! I'll do it this weekend and mail next week, promise.

toastandjam

@frigwiggin Emailed you to join!

yeah-elle

@frigwiggin I still have to send mine out! Sorry, mix-pal! Actually, I'm thinking of sending a postcard first, requesting a theme...because right now what I have feels like The Greatest Hits of Yeah-Elle's Itunes or something.

Xanthophyllippa

@frigwiggin I sent mine! Except not yet the one I made for you because I'm embarrassed that I can't get the mix right.

frigwiggin

@yeah-elle Yeah, I totally ended up making 3 variations of Friggy's Greatest Hits. I'm thinking of making a second one for everybody with themes like like Depressing Songs About Space. Because theme CDs are fun!

@Xanthophyllippa Aw, don't be embarrassed! I love all mixes and will love yours too. :)

Xanthophyllippa

@frigwiggin Oh, goody, this makes me feel better - because I've also been using the same base playlist and making individual tweaks here and there. Part of my problem is that I listen to the same few mixes all the time in the car, and now when I try to put a song from one in a different playlist, it doesn't sound right anymore.

I would totally LOVE a mix CD called Depressing Songs About Space. But Space Oddity is a little TOO depressing for me.

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa Haha, most of them are soooooo depressing because they're all riffing off of Space Oddity! (Including Jonathan Coulton's song about Laika, Space Doggity.) I have an obsession with depressing songs, it is A Problem.

Xanthophyllippa

@frigwiggin I can probably add a few to your collection, I think. Though my version of that is Songs About Breaking Up And/Or Hating Your Partner.

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa Oh god, they're so good! Both the sad ones and the angry/bitter ones. Satisfying on a visceral level.

Plant Fire

@frigwiggin I just burnt mine onto CDs, I'm sending them out tomorrow!

errata stigmata

Great news: with a hell of a lot of encouragement, real talk, and logistical help, a family member is finally (FINALLY) leaving her abusive asshole husband after 30+ years! Also great news: she has somewhere good to go now, so there will be no repeats of last night (in which she stayed with us and kinda drove me bats). What's something good that happened in YOUR vicinity this week, dudes?

TheDragon

@errata stigmata YES! That is so exciting!
I mended a friendship that has been broken for over a year this week! That was my good thing for the week.

Roxanne Rholes

@errata stigmata Umm, are we related? Because woo! Yay for relative leaving people who suck!

SarahP

I had a crazy depressed-for-no-reason day yesterday, the kind where you just want to sit and cry all day and getting out of your chair to do anything is the most difficult thing of your life. Spells like that usually last considerably more than a day for me, but today I seem... if not 100%, then like 70% better.

So! I'm trying to keep it that way by looking on the bright side!
- My boss ordered sushi for my team for lunch!
- My hair looks amazing today, and I didn't do anything to it!
- With the exception of maybe going to a friend's barbeque on Sunday, I have no plans for the weekend, and I intend to BASK in my first non-booked-solid weekend in more than a month.
- I finished the Dostoevsky book I was reading and moved on to Wharton's The Buccaneers. So far, so good!

adorable-eggplant

@SarahP Effortless good hairday! A gift from the gods. :)

frigwiggin

@SarahP Yay, looking on the bright side is good! I'm going to try to do it too because I have been feeling so, so tired and crabby and anxious this week.

- My dad is coming to visit from out of the country this week and it will almost certainly be better than the last visit!

- My brother and his band are playing their first live show at a summer festival on Sunday! They also...changed their name to Salsa Dawgs for reasons that escape me. I guess it's better than Mystik Spiral.

- A coworker brought donuts for everybody!

- I'm going to see War Horse for my birthday next week and I'm gonna wear my prom dress and some cute new Seychelles I found at Goodwill!

anachronistique

@SarahP This is a good exercise as right now I'm so mad about being stuck at work that I want to cry.

- Orientation happened and I didn't die!
- My lost birthday package showed up and I got the presents from my parents! Including a STICK BLENDER!
- I made a lot of delicious food like a grownup!
- The perfume I ordered because it has an octopus on the bottle smells really good!

okaycrochet

@frigwiggin LURVE that you are wearing your prom dress to see War Horse. I'm going to have to try that.

New Hoarder

@frigwiggin OH! PROM DRESS TO WARSE? Best idea ever! My husband and I are OBSSESSED with WARSE, though we have yet to see the movie or the play. We are constantly screaming out "BUT 'ES MY 'ORSE SIR" a propos of nothing. I think you just gave me an idea of when to resurrect my wedding dress, because WARSE is coming to a (performing arts) theater near me!!!

annveal

@anachronistique I've had my stick blender for a year and I would marry it if I could. We have such wonderful times together. Hummus! Soup! Soup! Soup!

SarahP

@anachronistique I just used my own stick blender to make corn chowder last night. Enjoy it!

SarahP

@SarahP Another good thing:
- There aren't many women on my team at work, and we all just spontaneously settled into a conference room with our sushi and had sort of a ladies' lunch. Work ladies unite! Awwww.

candybeans

@New Hoarder I sort of love you guys. Now **I** shall be shouting, "But 'es my 'orse, sir" a propos of nothing!! to myself in my head, probsies.
I could use a dip in the positivity pool, myself, because i've been on the brink of tears for about 18 hours now. Methinks the Red Tide is heading towards my harbor, so at least it's not just me losing control, when I thought I was doing well in re emotions??
1) I'm finally going to Sephora to get that perfume I want that smells all sexy and mixes really nicely with my body chemistry! I'm going to smell like a sex bomb when i trot back into work (and also like a scotchmallow, because there's a Sees at the mall, too)(Sees foreverrrrr)
2) I made lunch plans with a girl at work i want to become friends with, and got to know another really cool girl last night over a glass of wine! Yay for friends!
3) It's so, so tremendously lovely out today, and i am loving every damn minute I spend outside in the swelter of August in LA. (I don't get to do it that often, so, easy for me to say.) Plus, i have on my dress that ties around my neck (?? does this make sense?) and so my shoulders are bare and golden and are going to become even moreso after a little walk in the sun (t minus 40 mins to lunchtime! Ooh, now 39!). yay for big linebacker shoulders and pretty dresses and SUN.

frigwiggin

@okaycrochet @New Hoarder

I AM SO EXCITED. My prom dress is a not-very-prommy kind (above-knee-length green sheath with black mesh overlay covered in green sparkly swirls), and while I have gained some weight since high school, it still fits so I am going to ROCK IT LIKE A MOTHERLOVER. (And since it will probably be cold in San Francisco I will cover up with this weird beaded shawl thing that belonged to a friend of my great-uncle in the 1920s.) Prom/wedding dresses to even mildly fancy events is definitely a thing!

New Hoarder

@frigwiggin Details/ pics of vintage shawl thing, please! Sounds like my kind of piece! I troll Etsy for that kind of stuff but can never afford them!

New Hoarder

@candybeans "Scotchmallow?" I like the sounds of this. That reminds me of one of my more bizarre Sephora purchases, an Urban Decay marshmallow-scented sparkly powder. I lovingly refer to it as my whore powder and really only break it out for seeming semi-annual clubbing/ dancing nights. BUT it is so trashy it's awesome and I may just start smearing it on my body for work (in a law firm). Just learn to deal with the delicious sparkles, co-workers!

New Hoarder

@New Hoarder *sound, *seemingly

frigwiggin

I just went to the bathroom and discovered that I put my underwear on inside-out this morning. It's going to be that kind of day, I guess.

WaityKatie

@frigwiggin One time (ok it was more than one time) I forgot to put my contacts in in the morning and wandered halfway down the street on my way to work before wondering why I couldn't see anything.

SarahP

@frigwiggin Inside-out-undie-days are so mystifying to me that when they occur, I can only laugh.

Xanthophyllippa

@frigwiggin I once made it out the door and down part of the stairs to do errands before realizing I wasn't wearing pants. Just a tee and undies.

beanie

@frigwiggin more than once I showed up to work in a dress or shirt that was inside out that I had to go change in a bathroom. This might be related to only wearing cotton/jersey/comfy clothing.

Daisy Razor

@beanie I once ran errands to 4 stores without realizing that my dress was on inside out.

thebestjasmine

@frigwiggin One time a girlfriend at work came into my office and said "Do you see anything weird about my skirt?" and I said no and she said "Good, because it's on inside out." This was at like noon. And yes, I have done the same thing too, multiple times.

TheLetterL

@thebestjasmine I love that instead of just going to the bathroom and fixing the problem, she was like "Hmmm, well, how weird does this actually look?" That would be me.

New Hoarder

@frigwiggin The other day I finally figure out why my skirt went up to my boobs but fell below my knees. It's a dress. I've had it/ worn it for 5 years.

TheDragon

Things I'm going to do this weekend: Tonight, go grocery shopping, cook dinner, clean my bathroom. Tomorrow: pool, clean room and closet, GO DANCING! Sunday: Church, take the pup hiking. Monday: Any last cleaning + school organizing.
I feel like this is a good mix of work and play.

effystonem

@Dragon This is basically the plan I make for myself every weeekend, but I am lazy and never seem to get around to the cleanin' parts :( I mean, I'm not a frat boy or anything, but I haven't done a super thorough, hard clean in aaaaages.

Jealous of your pup hiking!

TheDragon

@effystonem Yeah, I am more hopeful than confident in that plan. My cleaning is sporadic at best.

OhMarie

Guys, I have been in a video game slump for a while now (the most recent games I've gotten into were all pretty fluffy--Orcs Must Die 2, that kind of thing), but I bought Guild Wars 2 on a whim last week and it is soooo good. I genuinely thought that it would be a long time before something came out that was actually a new and interesting MMO in the way WoW was, but it really is.

breccia

@OhMarie YES YES YES. I played GW1 so I was roped (haha, yeah, totally forced!) into playing the GW2 betas and.... oh how i had hoped to NOT enjoy it. BUT I DID. I absolutely love the ridiculous, sounds-like-it'd-be-boring quests like clearing the Monastery of bugs and tasting their beer, or petting cows and putting out brush fires. It's ridiculous in a way but its not "Retrieve X for me. Kill X rats. Here is a shoe for your efforts."

I love the auto-level-down, too! I went to a starter area map at level 20 just to explore and mine and GAINED FIVE LEVELS! By the time I was done just having fun I was way above the level I wanted to be at to continue my personal story. SO GREAT. No grind!

YES gw2 <3

breccia

@OhMarie oh also LION'S ARCH PINUP '12

Holden Cauliflower

@OhMarie I worked for them! Them being ArenaNet, and I was only a receptionist for a day but during that day a lot of people associated with Joss Whedon wandered past me and also some repentant ex-test group nerd boy showed up with 8-dozen doughnuts for our maybe 20-person office.

Also they have a bulk candy self-serve station straight out of your local grocery store. And an arcade!

withatwist

I no longer have to take classes for grad school, just finish my thesis! I am so relieved. I can't believe I almost went into a PhD program without an option to stop with your master's. No more higher education for meeeee.

yourstruly

@withatwist DUDE. Right there with you this semester. MS defense date is set, now just a little more lab work and writing furiously and stick a fork in me, I'll be DONE.

TheclaAndTheSeals

Quick poll: How much do you typically spend on a wedding present?

When deciding how much to spend, do you take into account...

How much you spent to attend the wedding (airfare, hotel, etc)?
How much you spent on presents for pre-wedding events (shower, bachelorette, engagement party)?
How close you are to the couple?
How much the couple spent on your wedding present? (if you're married)

Thanks, guys. I don't want to make friends uncomfortable by asking them, but I'm trying to get an idea of what most people spend. I need to buy gifts for a couple of weddings and I'm reevaluating if what I've been spending is appropriate.

Megasus

@TheclaAndTheSeals I remember reading something on The Billfold about how women tend to spend about $1000 on attending a wedding?

TheclaAndTheSeals

@Megano! I can believe it. When I was a bridesmaid last year, I spent about that much. I had to fly for the bachelorette and wedding, and that's what jacked up the cost. Out of state weddings where I'm not in the bridal party usually run me $500.

Lily Rowan

@TheclaAndTheSeals I generally take into account how close I am and how much money I have and they have. Like, when I am definitely the poor relation, I don't worry about spending a lot, but still try to get something nice.

In general, about $75-$100, which I think is (Northeastern US urban) low, but I don't care!

TheclaAndTheSeals

@TheclaAndTheSeals Just realized I didn't answer my own questions!

I usually spend $50 on wedding presents (ends up being more like $60-65 with taxes and shipping) regardless of how close I am to the couple.

If it's an in-town wedding, I spend $75 since I don't have to pay for a flight or hotel.

For close friends where travel costs are minimal (eg driving instead of flying and free place to stay), I spend $75. I don't take into account how much I spent on presents for their shower and/or bachelorette, because if we're close enough that I attend, I'm excited to buy them fun things. (I've never attended a pre-event out of obligation, but that could be a gift-giving game changer.)

Ophelia

@TheclaAndTheSeals It depends a bit on how close I am to the couple. Not so close = $50-75 on gift, very close friends is more like $100-150. That doesn't take into account travel costs. I do tend to let those criteria affect my gift giving, but I think the "how close you are to the couple" actually is the biggest driver for me.

And, the people themselves. We have really good friends who have very eclectic taste, and I got them a present that was TOTALLY up their alley, but only cost $30. It took me ages to find the right thing, but when I found it, that was the right one.

withatwist

@TheclaAndTheSeals We're mid-20s and usually spend $50 on the present for casual friends and family members we're not close to, plus travelling. However, one of my very closest friends is getting married early next year and I'll probably spring for something nicer, like a piece of le Creuset, for her. But this is a lady in my top ten, marrying a guy I love.
For travel we've been able to drive or AmTrak everywhere so far. If we can't stay with a friend/ family member in the area we've never spent more than $200 total on hotel.
Alternatively, we just found out that close friend of my boyfriend's is getting married at the end of October, on a Sunday evening, in a city that we could only fly to. We're not going to be able to go, especially since it would involve using up one of my boyfriend's very few vacation days (five paid days for the entire first year of working! Fortunately other benefits are fantastic, but that part sucks). We bought them the KitchenAid mixer off their registry, which is still cheaper than one plane ticket and we'll be able to celebrate with them at a later date. If attending the wedding we would have given them something smaller. This is probably not Emily Post-perfect but it works for us.
Also, if you're interested, here's how we pay for wedding gifts as a couple. If it's $50ish we pay for it out of our joint account. We then pay for travel independently (like for my friend's wedding I pay for travel for both of us). If we go much over $50 on the we usually pay the difference, like he took $50 out of the joint account and then bought the KitchenAid. So the KitchenAid is from both of us, but $300 of it was "his" money and $50 of it was "our" money.

polka dots vs stripes

@TheclaAndTheSeals 3 of the 4 weddings I'm going/went to this year required a plane flight/hotel room, and yes, I took that into consideration.

I typically spent $400 for the flight, $120-150 for the hotel, and $50-70 on the gift. If the trips didn't require travel, I probably would have gone up to $100 for the gift. I'm pretty close to all the couples, but I'm also young and trying to get my own life started (despite being together for the same/longer amount of time than my now-married friends, BF and I do not have parents who can spend $20k right now, so we actually have to buy our own kitchenware okay maybe I'm a little annoyed) so I felt OK spending that amount of money.

My friends actually really didn't do many of the other parties (big showers, engagement parties, etc), but if they did and I were invited, I would probably spend about half of the wedding gift (so $30-$50). YMMV.

(This made me sound really bitter about going to my friends' weddings - I really love weddings and love attending them and I get outrageously lovely dovey and romantic about them! I just get angsty about a lot of the social expectations around attendance/gift buying and the WIC in general.)

celeec4@twitter

@TheclaAndTheSeals I'm kind of a, constantly one medical emergency away from broke, grad student. So...I'm afraid that I have to reconsider/adjust what I'm giving at weddings scaled to how much I spent on traveling.

The most recent wedding I attended was on a holiday weekend, so it wound up being about $500 round trip for airfare. Fortunately, I could stay with my parents, ask friends to pick me up, etc. Think I spent about $50-60 on a little something for my friends.

Xanthophyllippa

@TheclaAndTheSeals I just buy everyone a picture frame and be done with it.

melis

Take them out for a drink separately after the divorce! They're much more likely to remember that. (Aww, no, not your friends though, they'll stay together ages).

TheLetterL

@TheclaAndTheSeals For two recent weddings, I've done $75, speaking as a lady who is single and employed-full-time-but-not-exactly-swimming-in-money. One event involved travel/hotel and the other was in-town but for extended family. So, yeah, factors...

When answering this question for myself, I found this fun (but sometimes completely laughable) tool on a wedding site: http://www.theweddingenvelope.com/calculator.php

Plant Fire

@TheclaAndTheSeals I've never gone to a wedding but from watching my parents they usually spend $100 on a present (this was when they were in their late 40s with steady employment). Also, based on watching my parents if the wedding isn't within driving distance they don't go but instead send a nice card and gift (growing up my family lived far far far away from friends and family so we missed a lot of weddings we would have wanted to go to). I can't drive but I'd probably stick to weddings that are only a couple hours away by train or bus and I'd only go if it was close family or close friends. If I wasn't going to the wedding but it was possible to see the couple before (like a destination wedding with people who live near me) I'd explain that I couldn't make it but offer to take them out to a nice lunch or dinner and give them a wedding present.

I've never heard of pre-wedding gifts so I figure that you don't need to spend a lot of money on those. I'd only do that for close close close friends.

That said, I grew up in a family where if some reason you couldn't make a wedding people would be understanding. Based on what the internet has told me some people expect their guests to spend tons and tons of money on their weddings, but then again, maybe it's not so good to place much importance on the thoughts of people who can't be understanding?

squishycat

@TheclaAndTheSeals I spend what I can afford, based on how close I am to the couple. For a wedding that I had to travel overseas for, I bought a cutting board from the registry - but it was a very nice cutting board and I knew my friend would love it and he in fact expressed his excitement over it (we both nerd out over kitchen supplies something awful). For a wedding of another high school friend a month before that required only cross-country travel and no hotel because I slept on their sofa, I actually didn't give them a present at all (I meant to knit them some nice things but only got halfway through the project) and still feel kind of guilty. What I did do was come stay with them for two weeks later in the summer when things were more normal, and made sure to pay for all my food and be as little trouble as possible (very close friends, hadn't seen them in 5 years before the wedding).

TheclaAndTheSeals

@all Thanks for the responses! Looks like I need to up my game a bit.

Megasus

I did pretty much nothing this week. I hate being unexmployed. sigh.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@Megano!: More like FUNemployed! Yeah! No? Okay.

Lucienne

@Megano! Time to start suffering and write that symphony!

TheclaAndTheSeals

@Megano! I read that as "ex-unemployed," meaning you have a job and did nothing this week, and almost replied ME TOO!

For but real, sorry about the unemployment. Been there and it sucks.

Megasus

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS Last week, yes! This week, no. It is also really hot again, that is not helping my productivity levels.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Megano! I slept all week! (I was sick)

Cat named Virtute

@Megano! I saw all your tv tweets and felt a little less alone in my week of unemployed Project Runway and Bunheads marathoning.

Megasus

@Cat named Virtute Hahaha, I'm so glad it's good for something!

WhiskeySour

Can someone explain to me why it seems all sorts of museums have recently implemented "no photography" policies? I mean, I can understand it for art museums and places like that (or having no flash photography policies) but why no photography at all in a botanical garden? In a (not that old) historical home? Is it mainly to sell postcards and books?

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@WhiskeySour: I would not be surprised to learn that it was protectionist policy for the hawking of their official wares at ye gifte shoppe

dabbyfanny

@WhiskeySour Hey! (hijacking your thread here) have you been to the El Anatsui exhibition at Akron Art museum yet?! And, I just discovered an INSANELY excellent breakfast lunch place called The Blue Door in Cuyahoga Falls. Go, right now, you will LOVE IT. They are into local sourcing and sustainable fresh everything, but mainly it's the tastiest food I've had in years.

lobsterhug

@WhiskeySour I worked at a historic house and one of the reasons they didn't allow photography was to keep would-be thieves from thoroughly casing the place.

Also, there are copyright issues, particularly with materials on loan, and it's often easiest to just do a blanket ban on photos.

WhiskeySour

@dabbyfanny Hi! My grumping above is in reference to Stan Hywet Hall; I have plans to go visit this weekend (my parents are coming to visit.)

I haven't checked out the art museum yet (only moved in 2 weeks ago.) I'm trying to get all the outdoorsy stuff in while it's nice out. Also, I drove into downtown for the first time today!

I have heard the Blue Door is wonderful. By the way, your Akron recommendations have been so incredibly useful! I checked out Pad Thai in Fairlawn and I've driven by your dentist rec. Seriously, it has helped me so much to get my bearings and be like "Ooh! Ooh! I recognize that!"

dabbyfanny

@WhiskeySour That's excellent, I'm so glad it helped! I don't know what is up with Stan Hywet. Pretty sure the parents will like it tho. Did I give you a gynecologist recommendation before? I like mine, Dr Jadallah (I've had some horrors in the past)

Blushingflwr

@WhiskeySour It's a combination of things. Yes, it does help drive up sales of postcards and prints and things.

When I was a tour guide in a historic house, the rule was no flash (we had a lot of original objects), but I can't tell you how many people used flashes anyway. Half the time it was b/c they didn't know how to turn the flash off (I eventually started my tour with "no flash photography. if you do not know how to turn off your flash, ask me and I will show you").

There are also the copyright issues that @lobsterhug mentioned. And all light exposure is bad for objects, and it's cumulative (just like sun damage to your skin), so some places just try to nip that in the bud.

For a botanical garden, I don't know, though I imagine it could be that the bright flashes might throw off the plants. Or just that lots of people taking photos stand in the way and create bottlenecks and safety risks.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Blushingflwr I would bet the botanical gardens are so thrifty young couples can't bogart the place for engagement/wedding photos. Because you would have to officially rent/pay a fee to take pictures there, and how do you tell if that young couple is just enjoying some time out and taking a picture with their friend or secretly getting lovely engagement prints to put on their save the dates without paying a fee to the gardens?

christonacracker

I have a new dudefriend with the handsomest beardy face and am going camping in the desert this weekend. I love everything aaaaaaaaa!

Porn Peddler

@christonacracker omg beards. beards beards beards. congratulations on your beardfacefriend.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Ladies and gents. I have a problem I'd like to crowd-source here. Earlier, there was a thread about bullshit limits, and I think I may have hit mine in my relationship. I've been dating my lady for six years, and recently I feel like she's sort of gone off the rails as far as jealousy and insecurity go.

We moved in together two months ago, and it has been miserable. She thinks I'm constantly texting and emailing a friend of mine, which I am not. I have been living in a cloud of suspicion, walking on eggshells in my own home, trying to figure out what I've done wrong.

Thing is, I haven't done anything wrong. And just this week, she forced me to cut off communication with my friend. I say forced because she told me either I tell my friend about her issues or she will contact my friend herself. It's made me really sad and angry, and I have told her I'm actually fed up with this shit and can't remember what I'm fighting for in this relationship.

Now? She's being super sweet. It's pretty nice. But I can't help but feel like the dog she's been yelling at for peeing on the floor, and now that I'm performing the way she wants, she's rewarding me. But really, I think she's been pissing on the floor the whole time and punishing me for it, and I'm scared I'll wake up to wet carpets again. (Ew, sorry, it's the only analogy I can think of.)

So, any thoughts? Should I just let it chill and see what happens?

ReginaSavage

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I would actually let her contact the friend in question. Then she gets to hear that person's side of the story and it might clue her in to how crazy she's being.
(But given how terrible my own relationship is, you can feel free to disregard this advice!)

Weasley

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Break up! Do it. That's some serious controlling bullshit that no one should put up with. And, seriously, six years and still that insecure?

Lily Rowan

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

That definitely sounds like some controlling bullshit -- especially the acting so nice afterward/when you get in line. I doubt it will get better if she doesn't think there's a problem.

DTMFA. Sorry.

adorable-eggplant

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Oh hell yeah, run/walk to the nearest exit. Also, tell your friend: my parter wanted me to call you to say we can't talk, but what I'm really going to say is that I need your support now more than ever.

Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Total red flag. This is controlling behavior that will only escalate. If you can do so safely, DTMFA.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@adorable-eggplant My friend has been really supportive, actually. She was like, "I'll do whatever you need, and I'm totally on your team." Ugh. I think I'll ride out this weekend, just to see what happens.

harebell

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose
It sounds like a case for couples counseling, to me. Unless the episode was so unpleasant that you genuinely just do not like/respect her anymore. If you've been together 6 years, you might feel best expending some effort to repair the dynamic before going straight to a breakup. Moving with someone is hard and almost always shakes up the relationship in some way.
But yeah -- her behavior is no good. Being in a relatis not being your partner.

adorable-eggplant

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I got out of a terrible relationship a few years ago (jealousy on my part, but also a lot of undercutting behaviors on his, so it was a veritable cluster'eff of sadness) and the best part was realizing how amazing my friends were/are/will always be. Seriously, a team of champions.

And when even my support network was insufficient to stave off the waves of sadness (cause when it was good, it was really, really good... so I had a lot of anxiety about giving up on something amaaazing [except when it wasn't]) there was always 2pac's Me Against the World. So helpful.

Lily Rowan

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose But please don't let intervals of niceness override unreasonable and paranoid efforts to control your friendships and other completely reasonable and normal parts of your life.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Lily Rowan I agree with you on this, and I'm trying my best to keep a clear head and address this change in behavior. She told me she's honestly just trying to be nicer and let this shit go, and I really want to believe that. And yes, we're looking into couple's counseling, but I'm still trying to figure out if it's worth spending time/money on it, like if I'm still convinced this is what I want. So letting it marinate may be the way I go. And out into the woods. That's always a good place for me.

Lily Rowan

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Good, good. I'm just concerned because I have seen too many friends (and....myself) talk themselves into bad relationships based on just the good times. Good luck!

Ophelia

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Out of curiosity - your girlfriend, has she always leaned towards the jealousy? Or is this behavior also totally new? Because that also might mean something's up with her that individual counseling might help, as well.

harebell

@harebell Half my sentence disappeared there, oops. Was just trying to say that being in a relati

JadedStone

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose
She's only weird about this one friend? What happens when you're like 'yeah, I'm texting her'?

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Ophelia You know, she wasn't ever jealous that I could tell, but I have suggested individual counseling. She seems up for it, but who knows these days. I'm trying to be selfish and care for her simultaneously, and it's exhausting.

thebestjasmine

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose They're always super sweet after a blowup (or they get their way). Get out.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@JadedStone Well, she loses her shit when my friend texts me, not even when I text her. It's like, I can't control when my friend texts me, you know? But she says stuff like, "your friend needs to understand boundaries and not text you on mornings/evenings/weekends." It's confusing.

Xanthophyllippa

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Sounds like your friend isn't the one having trouble understanding boundaries.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Xanthophyllippa Ha. Yes. This sounds like it may be the case.

JadedStone

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose
If she wasn't like this before, and it's been only 2 months... It sounds like there's more to it? She might be projecting, was she living with an ex who left her for a friend?
We're all allowed a grace period for crazy, but does she recognize after the fact that she's been crazy? Is she aware that she's being unreasonable and crazy?

if you can, therapy. Elsewise, harsh chat about not being controlling and/or what the crap caused this.

PistolPackinMama

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Oh my goodness. I don't like the sound of that situation. Seeing as how I am on Team IROTOTR and not Team Your Relationship... I'd say leaving sounds really viable.

But, I also understand wanting to wait a bit and see how things roll out. Problem is, I am a believer in @thebestjasmine's perspective. And also XPs.

Not texting on mornings evenings weekends? Are you fucking kidding me? Guess what I am doing when it isn't a morning, evening, or weekend? That's right. I AM USUALLY WORKING. So when is it OK to text?

If your life is like mine... how do you maintain a friendship?

Nope. Nopenope.

Ugh. I am bothered by all this on your behalf.

VelourFog

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose A friend of mine is having issues about being "allowed" to do things with friends. His wife has always had these feelings/tendencies, but he didn't feel bothered by it earlier (I'm guessing because it was a big rush of love/lust feelings in the beginning). It's pretty sucky to be on the friend end of the situation, because I never get to hang out with the dude and whenever I do email/IM with him, I feel like the wife is going to find out and get upset with me.

The Lady of Shalott

Tomorrow I leave on a three-day solo trip to drive 1000 miles all by my lonesome. I've never gone this far before! I'm a little worried!

But then, I like driving alone. And I get to move in with my boyfriend at the end of it! But...THAT'S A LONG WAY TO GO ALONE. Reassure me.

parallel-lines

@The Lady of Shalott You'll be fine! Better than fine! Maybe bring mixtapes and check in with people at the end of every night?

Shara

@The Lady of Shalott You can do it, for sure. I drive about 800 miles a few times a year with just me and a toddler. Charge your cell phone, get your car checked out, download some good podcasts, and you'll be fine.

TheDragon

@The Lady of Shalott
You will be ok! I know that it sounds like a lot, but 1000 miles in three days is actually not that bad! Just make sure to bring snacks, tunes, and maybe a good audio book or two. Also, make sure to pull over and check out cool areas, little hiking trails, national parks, etc. (I make the 1,300 mile drive from college to home and pack two or four times a year, so I'm pretty good at this stuff!)

The Lady of Shalott

@Shara I am squared away with music/comedy to listen to. I'm going to examine my car and fill my tank. Call my parents/bf every evening. Bring snacks and drinks. I think I'm good? Oh gosh.

RNL
RNL

@The Lady of Shalott Awesome! You get to sing along with the music as loud as you want, forever!

smidge

@The Lady of Shalott You're great! You are one of a long line of brave and noble adventuresses. If you can handle traveling alone, you can handle anything.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@The Lady of Shalott: Gird your car against small problems that could stop the trip.
- check all tires and fill to the higher end of recommended PSI for great gas mileage
- get a simple tire patch kit and DC air pump
- make sure you have and know how to mount your spare

withatwist

@The Lady of Shalott You can definitely do it! If you suddenly hate all of your music/ podcasts Cracker Barrel actually has a great system. You buy one of their audiobooks at full price, then when you return it you get the price minus around $3 back. I would rather rent an audiobook from my library for free but I've suddenly needed something new to listen to and Cracker Barrel saved me. Their selection of Oprah's book club type books and mysteries are perfect if you like exciting but not terribly complicated books to listen to.
The biggest catch is you have to go into Cracker Barrel.

runner in the garden

@withatwist So racist, yet so delicious.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

CHICAGO
We are having the September Chicago 'Pin-Up on the afternoon of September 23 in Logan Square. I have proposed the Logan outpost of 90 Miles, say at 4pm, but am up for other proposed locations!

okaycrochet

GUYS. SO many feelings.
Okay so firstly, my little sister's cancer relapsed. SO TERRIBLE. She's been fighting for 10 years, and is the oldest person ever to survive this many relapses of her cancer (we're on #4), and her body will only respond to a teeeensy bit of radiation before all treatment options are used up (chemo, stem cell transplant, bone marrow transplant, etc.), and they're using that radiation to try to zap this tumor because it's inoperable, but that means when (it's not really if anymore) she relapses next, we just have to let her go. I don't know how to tell people that's what's happening-- this is so much more than "my sister has cancer," it's turning into "this brave sister of mine is reaching the end of her life, whether or not this treatment works." So I just wanted to practice explaining that by telling all of you wonderful people.
This is happening while an attorney who has been taking credit for the work that I've been doing (like, literally telling partners that she designed something while I'm standing right next to her) has decided to also blame me for things that I did not do, resulting in my boss taking the project away from me right before I finished it after all my hard and unnoticed work and UGH so I'm quitting. I've been needing to leave because it's a poisonous place, but this whole thing finally is telling me it's time to go. Giving two weeks in two weeks.
But then NO JOB and sister in Children's Hospital Los Angeles.
I am so tired.

lora.bee

@okaycrochet Oh my goodness, hugs and hugs and hugs. Your sister and your family are so, so brave. We are all here.

Lily Rowan

@okaycrochet I am so, so sorry. That is a lot of bullshit at work and sadness at home.

dale

@okaycrochet Many, many hugs your way today. I'm sorry. That's a really crappy hand for her to have been dealt, and tough for your family as well.

Can you sign up with an employment agency (or two, or ten) to help you find a new job? I've found most of mine that way, and it at least allows you to narrow the field to something closer to what you want in terms of hours/responsibilities/pay etc.

anachronistique

@okaycrochet That is fucking terrible about your sister, and I'm so sorry.

frigwiggin

@okaycrochet Oh, lady, I'm so sad about your sister. My heart goes out to you and your family. And I'm sad about your terrible work experience, but good for you for giving your two weeks. They don't get to push you around anymore!

toastandjam

@okaycrochet I'm so sorry. This all sucks big time. Great that you are leaving that horrible job! Big internet hugs!

emeegee

@okaycrochet I'm so sorry for what your sister, you, and your family are going through. I hope that all of you are able to have time in each others' company and lots of loving support from people nearby.

For what it's worth, when I lost my sister the telling people part was so difficult for me to face that I asked my dearest friend to do it on my behalf. Then people knew, but I could wait awhile and build some strength before I had to say the most awful thing out loud.

olivebee

@okaycrochet Hugs for you! I am so, so sorry about your sister; she sounds so brave. I am sending positive thoughts for her and you and your family.

districter

@okaycrochet Fuck that attorney and fuck cancer. I have no idea what else to say but if there is a way to send hugs through the internet I am trying to do it right now.

MailerMattDaemon

@okaycrochet I am so sorry for all of it. I can't imagine talking to the world-at-large about your incredibly brave sister will ever be easy. There's a book out there called, "Planet Cancer: The Frequently Bizarre yet Always Informative Experiences and Thoughts of your Fellow Natives," and it's sort of a how-to guide about navigating the cancer world as a young adult. It's helped me communicate with and better understand loved ones who've survived cancer (and their loved ones, too.) I hope things feel okay very soon.

beanie

@okaycrochet I'm so sorry to hear your sister's cancer relapsed; thinking of you and your family during this obviously difficult time.

As for the work thing-I hope you find a new place that recognizes your hard work. The place you are currently at sounds awful, and I'm glad that you are getting out.

mirah

@okaycrochet

Be brave. You will get through this unbelievable, unfair, total load of bullshit. Best thoughts to you and your little sis. I know I'd be out of my mind if anything happened to mine. Stay strong!

thebestjasmine

@okaycrochet Oh my God. I am so sorry. What a terrible time for you, and so terrible for your family. My heart goes out to all of you.

MoonBat

@okaycrochet Ohhhhh, honey. I'm so so sorry. Bravo to you for leaving the toxic job. Enjoy every minute that you have here on earth, they're all precious. Too precious to be miserable in a horrible job.

raised amongst catalogs

@okaycrochet <3 So many kind and loving thoughts for you and your family.

harebell

@okaycrochet oh, I'm so very sorry. I hope the silver lining is that you will have some time while you're between jobs to just spend some undivided time with your sister while she's in the hospital.

It's different for everybody. But, having gone through something similar with a family member who did not ultimately survive cancer, it really helped me afterwards to know that I had spent 2 months of undivided time just caring for her before I had to go back to working at my job and flying in every weekend.

Hope that is not thinking too far ahead for you right now. sending you a virtual hug.

austengirl

@okaycrochet I'm so sorry. Words are pretty inadequate in situtations like these. I hope you get to spend some quality time with your sister.

okaycrochet

@all thanks, guys. I didn't read this again until my workday was almost over because I'm trying not to be a puddly heap of snuffly sadness while on the job, but now here I am, sort of puddly, thankful for you all.

PistolPackinMama

@okaycrochet Oh my god. I am so sorry to hear about your sister. So many loving thoughts for you and your family. <3

Also, you delivered that terrible news with love for your sister and sorrow and strength. You don't have to say anything differently. It's clear how hard and awful it is, and people will understand,

PS: I will run your colleague and boss over with my grannie bike if you like.

Faintly Macabre

@okaycrochet Oh, wow. That is a lot of terrible stuff all at once. I am so sorry about your sister, and I hope quitting your job makes things a little bit better.

Cat named Virtute

@okaycrochet Oh pinfriend, I am so so sorry to hear about you and your sister. I'm thinking about you both, and sending all the strong comforting thoughts I can muster your way. I'm so sorry about your sister and your work, and that it's all happening at the same time.

parallel-lines

There is a smug, fat happy mosquito in my house and it's EATING ME ALIVE as I sleep. My husband has offered to hunt him down Caddyshack style but this seems like a bad plan. Anyone have any fail safe ways to kill those little fuckers?

IT BIT MY EARLOBE! God, I'm going to murder this thing to death!

Ophelia

@parallel-lines My way of catching them is: sit in the dark until you hear it buzz around your head, and then BAM! turn on the lights and squash it when it lands on a light-colored wall. Or stalk it with the extended-nozzle attachment of the vacuum cleaner.

I realize both of these options are also rather Caddyshack, so they might not actually help your problem.

Or you can wear bug spray to bed and hope it just bites your husband instead.

Beaker

@parallel-lines Ahhh this has been happening to me too! Only when my gentleman friend stays over though but he's not affected by bug bites, which is baffling to me. They're just little pink spots that don't even itch! Meanwhile I have 12 bug bites from one night, all of which are suuuuuper inflamed and itchy.

It's very satisfying when I find and kill it the next morning. I try @Ophelia's method but I can never really find it, and at a certain point I'd rather have more bug bites than less sleep from hunting it down at night.

Jennifer Culp

@parallel-lines Uuuuugh, I keep doing battle with them because they hitch into the house on my dog. I have an overhead fan in my bedroom, and blasting it at top speed keeps them from being able to hover around my face as I sleep. Then I hunt them down during daylight hours. That's the best I've come up with so far!

effystonem

@parallel-lines Ughhh mosquitos LOVE me! Little fuckers. I've heard carrying a dryer sheet in your pocket repels them, but I haven't been outside for a long period in quite a while so I haven't been able to confirm this. But give it a try!

As far as killing though, I have no help - I have a rogue fly that has been buzzing around my apt for a few days that I cannot catch/kill!

celeec4@twitter

@parallel-lines Mosquitoes are attracted to warmth and CO2. You can make a pretty simple homebrew mosquito trap if you can get to the butcher's and get a big ol' block of dry ice. Find yourself a nice trash can with a lid, line it with a black trash bag (supposedly they're attracted to dark colors), and let the dry ice sublimate till its all gas with the lid on top. Nuke a couple of wet washclothes, throw them in the can to provide a source of heat/warmth. Leave the lid off now, let it sit in a dark room with maybe a tiny nightlight next to the can. LEAVE the house. When you get home, slam the lid on, and hope you've trapped that tiny evil flying thing.

Good luck!

yeah-elle

I am jonesing to get my next tattoo but I am telling myself to wait until the warm season is officially over (it's just warming up here in the Bay Area) so I can cover it up from the sun without feeling like I'm dying of heat stroke.

My mind is stuuuuck on it though, which gives me the creeping feeling that maybe I am just focusing on it because I have nothing else to look forward to. :(

katiethegreat

@yeah-elle What are you going to get?

yeah-elle

@katiethegreat A black and white botanical drawing of Papaver rhoeas—poppies! On the back of my arm, kind of behind my Ferdinand the Bull tattoo. The plan is to slowly fill up my upper left arm with different b/w drawings/etchings.

dabbyfanny

@yeah-elle That sounds gorgeous! Do it, and then you can look forward to something ELSE that's fun!

dj pomegranate

@yeah-elle The fact that you have a Ferdinand the Bull tattoo makes me want to be your friend right now.

olivebee

@yeah-elle I've just spent the last 5 months slowing filling up my upper left arm with tats, too (mine are all animal or nature-related). Yours sound awesome! Enjoy getting it done whenever you get it done!

yeah-elle

@dabbyfanny Thanks!

@dj pomegranate Aw, yay! It makes me stupidly happy when people recognize the illustration.

@olivebee Yay for animal/nature tattoos. I also have a big dipper/little dipper on the front of my shoulder/collarbone, and am toying with getting a mouse and maybe a full moon...I guess mine are all animals and nature, too, haha.

bocadelperro

@yeah-elle ooh where in the Bay Area do you live? I am looking to get a second tattoo, and am looking for recommendations for competent tattoers. (I'm in the south bay, but grew up in the city)

yeah-elle

@bocadelperro I'm in the East Bay, and had a great experience at Sacred Rose in Berkeley. In the South Bay, I don't know much, but I have a friend in Mountain View who has gorgeous tattoos done by Paco at Graven Image.

When I looked for a good tattoo artist, mostly I just did a ton of Yelp research, and combined that with looking very carefully through the artist profiles of the best-reviewed shops. It definitely depends on the kind of tattoos you want. Mark Bode at Sacred Rose did my Ferdinand tattoo and he was fantastic, but that was for a very detailed, b/w-only design. If you wanted a photorealistic portrait, or an American-style traditional, or a Japanese-style sleeve...it all depends!

bocadelperro

@yeah-elle thanks for the recommendations--I may contact the folks in Mountain View before long. The yelp theory sounds good--in the past I have found tattoo artists by asking people I know whose tattoos I like who did them. Sadly, I now have a super-conservative job, and am married to an engineer, so, not so many tattoos in my social circle.

Also I love the idea of a Ferdinand the Bull tattoo, just love it.

frigwiggin

@yeah-elle Hey, someone with a Ferdinand tattoo on Posted on August 31, 2012 at 4:34 pm

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin Whoooops, I don't know what happened there. Tattoo?

insouciantlover

@yeah-elle So exciting! I just decided what I want my next tattoo to be, but my SF tattoo artist buddy moved to LA so I need to find a new person. The funny thing is, you're getting the state flower and I want to get the state bird.

TheDragon

I found out that I'm not graduating until next fall. I was devastated, but I'm ok now. Not thrilled, but I will be ok.

Weasley

@Dragon

That's a real bummer. Is it because you have to take more classes or because you have to take time off?

TheDragon

@Weasley I was supposed to graduate this spring, but there is a required course that wouldn't fit in my schedule, no matter what I did.

Weasley

@Dragon

ugh! I was supposed to graduate last spring but then I had no money. But now I'm back in school to finish this year after having spent a year in Hawaii. Is there something really cool you can do it the meantime? Is it just that class you have take now?

Heat Signature

@Dragon UGHHHHH This happened to me too!!!! I was supposed to graduate in May of this year and then didn't officially graduate until August (this past Sunday, in fact) because they effed up my internship cohort which really, REALLY pissed me off, although briefly (for me, I mean, which was about a week or so). But at least you'll be graduating! Yay!

TheDragon

@Weasley I still have to take classes this semester and next, so I don't really have any time to do things. Hopefully I can snag another internship this summer.

Shara

The gentleman and I are throwing our first jointly planned party on Sunday, with a theme of Taco Night. It's for his birthday, so I said I'd take care of the grocery shopping if provides tequila and he helps me cook (this is a good deal because he is an amazing cook, and I love buying food). Question-- what toppings do you like on your fancy tacos? I'm making carnitas, and I think he's doing a black bean filling for the vegetarians. Mexican crumbly cheese, cabbage slaw, guac-- anything else sound good?

WhiskeySour

@Shara Mango salsa and/or corn salsa?

adorable-eggplant

@Shara Several salsa options. Sriracha. Pickled jalapeneos. Sour cream concoction (chili powder, sour cream)

I am making a quiche tonight, but am having sudden cold feet. Maybe I want tacos???

thenotestaken

@Shara It's tomatillo season RIGHT NOW! I found some at my local farmer's market the other day, if you can find any then jump on it! The roasted tomatillo salsa on epicurious is amaaazing, and apparently it goes especially great with pork. Mango or pineapple salsa is also amazing.

Weasley

@adorable-eggplant

My favorite thing ever to do with tacos is put chorizo in with the ground beef as I'm cooking it. Just squeeze it out of its casing and break it up in the beef. It's so spicy and yummy.

adorable-eggplant

@Shara Taco quiche? Is that a thing? Can I make that a thing? Hmmm.

dabbyfanny

@Shara Google fish tacos with mango avacado salsa. The salsa is incredible with fish but I've had it with other stuff and it's stil yum

dabbyfanny

@Shara Ooh can you get plantains and fry them in butter with a teeny bit of sugar and cinnamon?

laurel

OMG this thread.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Shara
Try mistaking them for ground cherries at the grocery store when you only have half as many ground cherries as you need for a pie, then not realizing your mistake until the pie is finished!

thebestjasmine

@Shara YES, roasted tomatillo salsa is so so good and super easy, and is great with carnitas. And I make a black bean/corn/tomato/onion salsa that is great too, and also good if you put mango in it.

bocadelperro

@adorable-eggplant i sometimes make "mexican quiche" with chorizo, queso fresco and green chilies...

adorable-eggplant

@bocadelperro Yeah, that's happening. I will report back.

bocadelperro

@adorable-eggplant enjoy! If I didn't already have a pork tenderloin in the crock pot, I'd join you. I personally always brown the chorizo first and pour most of the grease off, otherwise the whole thing just gets too greasy for me.

Shara

omnomnom. i'm going to make all the foods. namely, some tomatillo salsa and mango jalapeno salsa. i already have mangoes for mango lime sorbet. boyfriend is going to think i'm crazy for making 10 million foods for 7 people.

theotherginger

@Shara that's not crazy. that's just good sense!

dale

I'm on my own this weekend! G/f is off on a trip and not back until late Tuesday, so I am entertaining myself for several days. I have such a long list of chores (wash/change bed, do dishes, vacuum, change cat boxes, winterize my mason bees, weed the front yard, put up a shelter in the back yard, sort the recycling, clear the ever-messy kitchen table, colour my hair, take notes for a photo project I'm doing, move cut branches from the front yard to the back, sort my landlady's garbage in the back yard into semi-related piles, move the sandbags we got during the flood watch...).

I am going to assume no one wants to come over to help with any of it. ;-) But if you want to hang out online, I'll probably be around, once I'm too tired to keep yardworkin'! I could FB chat or something, if anyone is bored!

Reginal T. Squirge

Oh hey, complete and utter despair! I remember you! Long time, no see (not long enough, though, to be sure)! Hey, remember how we made a deal that you were going to leave me alone for the whole summer? So, what are you doing here now?

Guess what, folks. Winter came early this year.

What has two thumbs and is crying openly on the bus?

My life is like a loser version of Dr. Seuss now: You can cry on the bus! You can cry on the street! You can cry while you sleep! You can cry while you eat!

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@Reginal T. Squirge: I smell a new children's book

lora.bee

@Reginal T. Squirge Is there a reason despair has darkened your door again, or are you, like me, completely bewildered by its appearance? Oh hey, totally unable to breathe while getting ready for work and fighting the urge to curl up under a blanket and distract myself with movies. WHAT GIVES.

okaycrochet

@Reginal T. Squirge You are so sad right now, and I am so sorry about that.
You are very good at being funny about this. What you wrote was very funny. You are probably tough and smart and nice and there are friends who will hug you if you ask them to. In the meantime:
INTERNET HUG FOR YOU.

Reginal T. Squirge

@lora.bee

Oh, there's a reason. There's always a reason.

Reginal T. Squirge

You can cry at your desk! You can cry in the shower! You can cry for a minute! You can cry for an hour!

yeah-elle

@Reginal T. Squirge Is that your boss? Oh, start weeping. He appreciates your eye-holes seeping. Eat salad by the handful from the bag. Stare at the wall, feel your face sag. Maybe you should stay in bed, or claw your face right off your head.

Meaning...I'm sorry, right there with you on the bus to buttsville.

like a rabid squirrel

@Reginal T. Squirge Internet hugs. Crying in public is, unfortunately, in the top 10 list of "what I did with my summer vacation," so I feel ya.

PistolPackinMama

@Reginal T. Squirge Right? And you can't even tell yourself "oh, my SAD light will work wonders on this!"

Would you, could you cry on boats?
Would you, could you cry in coats?

I will not cry there, Sam I Am
I do not like the great shadow of despair invading my soul like a nazgul cold virus, and would appreciate it if you would fuck right off, thanks.

Reginal T. Squirge

I kept getting emails about your replies to other people's threads (in which I had also commented) from the most recent on up. And I was really, really hoping you would get to my thread and say something! That was fun.

PistolPackinMama

@Reginal T. Squirge Was that for me? If so... that is a very endearing thing to say.

If it wasn't... word. I love it when a fun commenter is commenting and then they say something to me. It's like YAY! I got internetchat with a fun person.

I am, however, very sorry you would you could cry on a bus/ you would you could feel fussed. I wish you would feel better soon/ maybe eat Nutella off a spoon?

(Okay, that was bad. Sorry.)

Reginal T. Squirge

@PistolPackinMama

Yeah, that was for you! Sorry I didn't include an @.

PistolPackinMama

@Reginal T. Squirge Not to worry. Come over and have a crumpet! (I mean, you are very far away, but if you weren't, you should totally have a Dr. Seuss Celebratory Go Away Despair Crumpet. Which is very sedate for a Friday night, but this week was a bit rough and I am being unusually introverted. So crumpets it is!)

PistolPackinMama

@PistolPackinMama And the rest of you! I have lots of crumpets, and several jams and marmalades. FUCK DESPAIR TEA PARTY.

Cat named Virtute

@Reginal T. Squirge Places I have cried in the past month: at brunch in a cafe with friends, my parents' gazebo, the sports bar down the street, in the street three different times, in my bed at three am, while on the phone to my friend in Montreal, while watching Bunheads, and probably on a bus, although I can't think of any specific occasions at the moment. Commiseration and hugs to you. I wish we could all converge on PPM's spinster balcony for despair crumpets, but in the meantime I am settling for chuckling at how funny with rhyming you all are.

katiethegreat

New Doctor Who tomorrow! Anyone else excited? I keep making jokes about Inspector Spacetime and none of my friends are getting them :(

Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

@katiethegreat Your friends are Blogons in disguise, obvs.

lora.bee

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas BLO-GONS IN DIS-GUISE...MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

JanieS

@katiethegreat SO. EXCITED. So many Daleks! Also, you need to make your friends watch Community.

New Hoarder

@katiethegreat Oh, YAY! I have rememered/ forgotten about this about 10 times now, but you've got me remembering and EXCITED about it again! I usually just wait until my Tivo gives me a new episode to be excited.

romastrega

@katiethegreat Excited!! Matt Smith is the best!!!

PatatasBravas

@katiethegreat I CANNOT WAIT

OBVIOUSLY

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh A NEW COMPANION exciiiiiiiiite

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@katiethegreat *sigh* I am mildly excited but not that excited. I mean, it's DW, yay, but also it's another Stephen Moffatt season, boo. Because he apparently only knows how to do one thing at the ends of seasons, which is the lanky sprite of a protagonist must sacrifice himself for the greater good except OH WAIT he's not dead. Also, alternate universes to avoid plot holes/logic.

katiethegreat

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me I know, always with the noble sacrifices!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@all

Okay everybody, I liked it. Over the top, but I liked it.

miss_j

I made it through my first two weeks teaching freshman comp--please, someone tell me that it gets better and that I won't always wake up feeling nauseous/nervous/blah in general on the days I teach :( I don't just love it like I was hoping I would. I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing, and I think I somehow underestimated the level of sass and apathy (at the same damn time!) that I would get from my students. But at least I have a long weekend with time for lots of walks with my pups!

dabbyfanny

@miss_j I promise it gets better, my darling. My first semester teaching was AWFUL. Seek mentors among the other faculty and get help. You will develop coping skills and strategies, but yes, until then, it is HARD. Honestly, mentors and friends. And alcohol. JK! Sort of.

celeec4@twitter

@dabbyfanny IDK, I'm lucky enough that I don't have a teaching requirement in my grad program...but having had friends at institutions with such requirements? I once made the mistake of asking the lab TA how he dealt with 300+ lab reports at once. The answer was basically alcohol.

miss_j

@dabbyfanny Thank you for the encouragement! I'm lucky to be in a small, fairly close-knit group of TAs, but I still feel like I'm scrambling to keep my head above water. But in funnier, less despair-laden stories: one of my students has managed to work the word "efficacious" into every. single. thing he has written for my class. At first I thought he just liked the word, but now I'm wondering if he's trying to create his own version of the "meow" game from the movie Super Troopers...

Priscilla Peel

@miss_j This was exactly how I felt my first semester of teaching! It definitely, definitely gets better. I think funny stories and commiseration will help get you through your first class. (And alcohol.) In my first class I had this student who wouldn't stop whistling tunelessly the entire time we were in class -- during lectures, tests, everything. If anyone wants tips on how to drive a new TA over the edge, that's a good way!

Inkling

@miss_j
As for the sass and apathy (sassapthy (no)) keep in mind that these people are paying a buttload for this class. They might be like "Oh GREAT a TA is totally worth all my money." You're always gonna be a TA, but I bet you can be a really smart and impressive TA that won't make everyone want to drop out and die.
At least, that's how I feel about my dumb stupid art class. Super unprofesh TA makes me growly and hopeless for the entire rest of the semester.

PistolPackinMama

@miss_j Lady, you got this. It gets better. Soon it will even get routine. I promise.

WaityKatie

This one-date wonder has a THIRD DATE scheduled for tomorrow, with a cute boy. Who has not thus far revealed himself to be a sociopath. Ahhhh it's been so long since I had a third date I don't even know what to do or what to wear. Also I'm not even sure what we are doing because today is his day off and I think he might still be asleep (unfair).

eiffeldesigns

@WaityKatie I just had a third date this week! I made him dinner. It was lovely.

WaityKatie

@Kirs Third daters represent!

runner in the garden

@WaityKatie I think the third date is the one where you don't wear anything?

WaityKatie

@runner in the garden Oh, phew, cause I've already exceeded my clothing budget for this month.

WaityKatie

@WaityKatie Update! We are going to a bar that has Skee-Ball! Hot guy AND SKEE BALL I am kvelling...

Cat named Virtute

@WaityKatie Go you! I hope it goes super well! This perma-spinster is going on a mini-road trip with a cute girl on Monday. High fives all 'round.

WaityKatie

@Cat named Virtute Ugh, YOU GUYS, not to be a downer but it kind of didn't go that well! Oh well, guess it's enough of an accomplishment to have made it to a third date...

Cat named Virtute

@WaityKatie Oh man, I'm really sorry to hear that! Was it there-will-be-no-further-dates not good, or just not the best? Ugh, dating is hard and stupid.

WaityKatie

@Cat named Virtute I don't knooowww there were a couple of things that really made me a lot less keen on the idea. And I haven't heard from him, so...

Cat named Virtute

@WaityKatie Ugh, serious bummer. :-(

WaityKatie

@Cat named Virtute In retrospect, I should have known better, bc he came on way too strong on the first two dates, and then apparently decided in between the second and third dates that he doesn't really like me at all, and in fact finds me annoying. He has already thoroughly updated his OKC profile with crap about his IDEAL GIRL, most of which I fit, NOT THAT HE BOTHERED TO FIND OUT, so pretty sure that is done. God, why are guys such f'in tools all the time? Oh well, I promptly set up a date with someone else for this weekend, so there is that.

eiffeldesigns

@WaityKatie Ugh. Guys really are such tools. All you can do is get back up on the proverbial horse and try to find one that isn't a tool (or at least isn't a tool a majority of the time). Gentleman caller and I had date 5 yesterday. So I'm cautiously optimistic.

Fingers crossed for your date this weekend!

Cat named Virtute

@WaityKatie Ugh, that is super uncool. Good luck this weekend!

polka dots vs stripes

My moderately busty (DDish) 'Pin friends:
Where do you get swimsuits to work out in? I currently have two reversible TYRs, but they are your standard athletic one piece and are getting stretched out and don't support the ladies anyway. I want something that has more support; two piece suits are OK but I'd really rather a one piece, if they even make those? I was going to check out Title IX, maybe Athletica, any other suggestions?

To my stationary-loving 'Pin friends:
Where do you find
a. cute (like the cards in the bargain bin) and/or outrageous (like, Lisa Frank)
b. paper (not cards)
c. affordable
stationery? I haven't found anything good lately that isn't a card, of which I have pleeeenty.

Happy 3-day weekend!

yeah-elle

@polka dots vs stripes I haven't found anything that works but I've read about fancypants sports bras for busty gals that are made of swimsuit material. I imagine you could wear those as a top half and pair it with bikini bottoms, or put it under your standard one piece.

As for paper...I'm still a fan of Paper Source, which errs a bit on the pricy side, alas. But check out dollar stores! Daiso (if there's one nearby you) sometimes has GREAT paper.

EDIT: Aha! this is the bra I remember reading about: http://bustygirlcomics.com/post/30035560881/bgc-recommendations

dale

@polka dots vs stripes I am tagging on to this thread so I can hear the stationery answers. I too have had no luck finding paper instead of notecards!

polka dots vs stripes

@yeah-elle Thank you for the bra recommendation and that fabulous Cinderella GIF.

TheclaAndTheSeals

@polka dots vs stripes Oh my God, I love paper so much. I've ordered from Embossed Graphics and American Stationery before, and had good experiences with both. Very reasonably priced but good quality. American is better for sheets of paper. Embossed Graphics' sheets are on the thin side.

thebestjasmine

@polka dots vs stripes For the swimming, I get them mostly at either Title 9 sports (expensive, but they have sales) or at Land's End. The Title 9 ones hold the boobies a little better, but are kind of ugly.

polka dots vs stripes

@thebestjasmine Yeah I've never liked Title IX that much, but honestly, for swimming laps, I'll go with function over style. I was thinking Land's End, I've been meaning to get their bikini tops for fun swimming but Target cheapos always win out.

straw hat

@polka dots vs stripes I am in no way a busty lady but I find the polyester swimsuits stretch way less than the lycra/nylon ones. I have a couple polyester Speedos that I've worn like once a week for 2-3 years and they are in excellent shape. Definitely worth the extra 30$ or so!

celeec4@twitter

@polka dots vs stripes RE: stationery, depends on what you're looking for! I'm a total sucker for stationery that works with fountain pens, and one of my favorite sites to poke at is gouletpens.com (no affiliation, I just spend too much money with them) for very standard but nice stationery. Sales section is your friend. As for cute but affordable cards...I'm going to be stalking this for other people's suggestions.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@polka dots vs stripes re:stationery, I don't know where to buy sheets. So what I've been doing is just writing on scrapbooking paper! They usually sell stacks/books of the stuff that's sized to fit in a 5"x7" or 4"x6" frame, and I just write on that. Some on both sides, if the pattern's light, but often just on the blank (usually white) side so there's a page of writing with a page of pretty designs on the back.

Plant Fire

@polka dots vs stripes I get my bras from brastop.co.uk (they specialize in Bras that are D or bigger have a wide range of band sizes). I always see swimsuits (both one and two piece) on there. It's a UK site but the shipping (to the US) isn't that bad and they are having a major clearance right now so it's worht a look.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

WINE HEADACHE

Sex journal - day... something
No sex. OKCupid account deep sixed. Putting self into cryo sleep until programmable holo-girlfriend technology perfected

Reginal T. Squirge

Keep me posted on that technology.

okaycrochet

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS Have you seen Archer? Because, Krüger.

adorable-eggplant

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS Here's my robo-boyfriend (no offense, actual boyfriend, but this one shrugs really well): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZlLNVmaPbM

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@okaycrochet: Haha! Kruger-sannnn

I love that her design is some weird bride-sailor moon mashup.

PistolPackinMama

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS Word. I feel you on this one.

remargaret

Broke up with my boyfriend of 3+ years on Monday. It was an LDR, but the distance didn't kill it, just highlighted the intrinsic problems that we were both too happy together to address.
Laid on the couch in my underwear and watched Mad Men and didn't eat all week.
Yesterday I got up a little more gumption: sanded and started painting a trash-find table, baked some whole wheat bread, snarfed half of it, lay on my bed and tried to play the banjo.
He's keeping the tiny house, because he's invested much more into it than I have. It's become such a huge part of my identity, though, that I am really having to figure shit out. What do I say to strangers now?
Extra credit: how to talk to handsome strangers?

adorable-eggplant

@remargaret New part of identity could be whole wheat bread baking/snarfing. When I finally retire, that will be my life.

Also, banjo! Cool!

RNL
RNL

@remargaret Take your time! Healing and identity re-creation are, no joke, a long process. Sounds like you're doing okay in the identity department already, with your sweet banjo and garbage table. Breakups are rough. Big hugs.

Alcohol helps with talking to (read: boning) handsome strangers, if you're anything like me.

Be kind to yourself.

remargaret

@RobotsNeedLove Ahh, thanks Robots. I wanted to change something about the way i look, but i already like the way i look. So I switched the part in my hair to the other side. Oh yeah. I'm bold. :)

RNL
RNL

@remargaret Bold move! Nothing can stop you now.

I went very blonde after my last big breakup. And thin. And drunk. You sound like you're doing much better than I was.

all the bacon and eggs

@remargaret Hahaha. That is awesome. And it is awesome that you already like the way you look. I recently started parting my hair in the center sometimes (gasp), and was shocked that no one noticed!

remargaret

@all the bacon and eggs Haha i know! I think that's a thing that maybe moms or sisters would notice. I have noticed that there are fewer flyaways and less damage on the not-usually-parted-on side. Bonus.

halfheartedyoga

@remargaret Hey! I just did this recently. Similar time together and also 'it was LDR but LDR didn't kill it'. It's only been a few months but I've become an ass-kicker (in, a good way) at the office. Channel that energy where you wanna channel it (sounds like you're doing that)...its good energy, change is.

sarah girl

You guys, my new kitten came home and immediately hid under my bathroom cabinet for like four days. :( We realized last night that he had stopped sneaking out for food/water/litterbox, and determined that he was acting really agitated and frustrated because he was STUCK (or at the very least, thought he was stuck). This led to my boyfriend and I on the floor of my bathroom with half the contents of a toolbox, sawing open my cabinet at 1 am. Yup.

SO, long story short, my deposit is fucked, BUT kitty is OUT and bouncing around the apartment with lots of kitty energy, and also took the longest pee I have ever seen in my life in his litterbox about 30 seconds after he got out.

dale

@Sarah H. And now you can submit a picture of him! ;-p

scottssions

@Sarah H. Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute! Handy boyfriend and liberated kitty at one time? Did you just die of happy?
And pictures?!?

Lucienne

@Sarah H. Considering how stupid kittens are, they kind of have to be adorable.

sarah girl

@scottssions It's a pretty terrible picture, but here's the kitten! I don't actually know if it's male or female, but we're going to the vet today to find out.

Uncommon Hussy

@Sarah H. Awwww... so adorable!

Fiddle dee dee

@Sarah H. Kitteh!!! So cute.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Sarah H. dahhhhh KITTENNNNN! :) I am going to guess your kitty is a boy based on absolutely nothing except its (super adorable) face. But I have a long history of being wrong about these things.

sarah girl

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Haha, I actually just got back from the vet - girl!

In honor of yesterday's post (well, not really, I thought of it before then but still), her name is Pippi. :D

thenotestaken

Aww does that mean the Hairpin is calling it quits early? I mean, have fun and all, but that's a bummer for the rest of my workday.

My bike got stolen last weekend so I've been on the prowl because not having one when you're used to it makes everything feel so faaaaar. How much have you all spent on used bikes, and what sort of quality were they in? It seems like in my city (hipster, very bike-friendly) at this time of year (when students are all returning and demand is high) prices are really high--at least 80-100 for a used bike, often with something broken, and going up to really insane amounts. No, I won't pay $300 for a 40-year-old bike even if you label it as 'vintage.' I'm not necessarily looking for something nice (getting a bike stolen would have been even more painful if it was actually worth something), just a basic road bike that works well for day-to-day stuff.

RNL
RNL

@thenotestaken Check out your local bike web forum. Might be better than craigslist junk, and less likely to be stolen.

lora.bee

I got my hair cut in a bob this week! Three inches of hair GONE. So freeing.

JanieS

@lora.bee Oh, man, I love that feeling. Breeziness on the neck = liberation!

Lucienne

@lora.bee Bobs! I miss my bob! Be prepared for lots of random compliments.

Heat Signature

@lora.bee Oh, I did too! Doesn't it feel great? It had been MONTHS since my last hair cut, and my mom paid for this one as a baby shower gift so I can look glamorous after I bring life into this world.

dabbyfanny

@lora.bee I love my bob. I just began the school year with it and got a bazillion compliments on it! Yay!

lora.bee

@all Looks like we're all bobbing along happily here!

Megasus

@lora.bee bob girl 4 lyfe

fuck fuck fuck

my fiance wants to put our wedding off until he finishes grad school, which effectively pushes it off from next may to like sometime in 2015 or 2016 :( his reasons are very practical, and they have a lot to do with his parents, but i couldn't help getting so emotional and asking over and over if he was just trying to break up with me, or trying to get me to break up with him, and whether he really loved me. i have pretty much accepted the idea by now, but i'm still feeling extra insecure, especially since we had this talk over skype yesterday, and i need a lot of physical affection to feel loved. i know rationally that this will be good for his parents, and having a longer engagement will very likely do good things for our marriage, but i was just getting so excited, and then i felt so stupid today having to tell everyone it was postponed after having been so enthusiastic...just a shitty situation right now.

Plant Fire

@i'm a self-rolled man Could you do a small courthouse wedding now (with either just you two or your two and a couple close friends) and then do your regular wedding later? That way you still get to get married like you wanted but whatever issues about a wedding and how it would affect his parents wouldn't come up because the wedding would be in 2016 like you decided.

smidge

@i'm a self-rolled man i'm so sorry. And honestly, I think your reaction was totally fair. What about getting married at the courthouse and throwing a party later?

dabbyfanny

@i'm a self-rolled man I'm so sorry, babe. I got married in my best friends yard for less than two grand during grad school and invited the whole dept and it was the best fun ever. I really think it's possible to make your wedding a part of the grad school experience, rather than a distraction from it, but I could also see that other, non-slackerish degree programs would be too stressful to allow such frivolity.

fuck fuck fuck

@Sea Ermine his parents are really traditional, and they would (he says) be very, very sad if we got officially married before the actual wedding. my fiance's got a lot of guilt his relationship with his parents for complicated reasons, and he's not willing to go against their wishes. to be honest, i'm pretty annoyed, but i'd rather do it their way than not do it at all.

effystonem

@i'm a self-rolled man Oh nooo that's the worst! I know plenty of people with traditional/guilt-inducing parents, like my bff who has been living with her boyfriend for THREE YEARS and none of her family knows! Plus they've been dating for like 5 years, and her family is starting to get pushy/annoying with the "why aren't you married yet?" It makes me so sad that people who supposedly love you can make you so miserable because you don't agree with them 100%.

I hope that you guys can figure this all out, but honestly, it's okay to be annoyed. You had things planned! You were excited! And now they're forcing you to wait? I'd be pissed. But parent guilt is very strong, so I understand where he's coming from. Still, LAME.

fuck fuck fuck

@everyone

he just broke up with me. i saw this coming, obviously. i don't know what to do right now.

harebell

@i'm a self-rolled man I call major Bad Form on his part for the timing!

Hope you can find some good friends to spend time with tonight. That is really rough. So sorry.

raised amongst catalogs

@i'm a self-rolled man Oh my god, my jaw just dropped. I am so, so sorry. I am (and we all are) here for you.

Danzig!

@i'm a self-rolled man Whoa, what a dick

Call up your friends! Tell them to throw a party for you

dabbyfanny

@i'm a self-rolled man Jesus, so sorry. This is awful for you. Call your friends, cry for a week, whatever you need to do.

(save this comment for later, but...on the plus side, at least you won't have to deal with his parents anymore. I held firm against my mother- in-law on the wedding, but she interfered with the rest of our marriage right up to the divorce)

Plant Fire

@i'm a self-rolled man Oh no, I'm so so sorry. See if maybe you can invite some friends over and get ice cream and movies and just wallow for a bit, do whatever you need to do.

smidge

@i'm a self-rolled man W.T.F. So sorry. Internet hugs.

bocadelperro

@i'm a self-rolled man oh man, I'm so sorry. Internet hugs to you.

whateverlolawants

@i'm a self-rolled man Oh no! I am so sorry!

fuck fuck fuck

@everyone

thank you all so much. it's been a tough few hours, especially because i'll be seeing him in person tomorrow to try to work things out. it sucks! but i will be all right.

geek_tragedy

@i'm a self-rolled man

Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope that you're ok and surrounded by a good support network. Try and take things moment by moment. I found it hard during my breakup to think any further ahead than the next second.

liverwortlaura

@i'm a self-rolled man oh my dear..... grad school can make people crazy, and i am so sorry you are experiencing maybe the fallout of that (or maybe he's just a dick?) all the hugs. and bubble baths. and cups of tea. and deep breathing. holding you in the light!

fuck fuck fuck

@liverwortlaura and everyone

you guys are all so great. he and i made it final a couple days ago, and it ended up being actually incredibly amicable and smooth, after that first day of not being sure what was going to happen. he is really not an asshole, just a 21-year-old who was not ready for such a serious commitment and too scared of hurting me to let me know sooner (plus, it would only have been like a month sooner anyway). we really are best friends, and we were both just using the relationship as a promise of future stability and security, rather than just being in love. we are going to try to stay friends, since we have a lot of shared friends and live in the same dorm right now, and both of us still really care about each other in any case, but if that doesn't work out, i'm leaving in december for good anyway. it is already so scary being single again, though. like, i'm scared i'll never meet anyone again! crazy. i know no one will read this anymore, but it feels better somehow to keep talking about it.

remargaret

@i'm a self-rolled man As a one-week veteran of a big shitty breakup: maybe go out and buy yourself some flowers and a pint of Ben and Jerry's? Maybe wear your cutest dress today if you go out in public. Major hugs.

liverwortlaura

@i'm a self-rolled man nope! still reading! :) I am so glad to hear that it seems like it is the best-possible solution to such a heart-breaking situation. It sounds like you have a really solid head on your shoulders to be able to see the situation so clearly from in the thick of it. It's amazing to me how I think virtually all humans feel the exact same thing, but it always feels so fresh and singular to ourselves - i.e. I think everyone has faced that fear of never meeting another potential partner, but there are so many good fish out there! Best of luck as you move on - where will you moving to in December?

raised amongst catalogs

@i'm a self-rolled man It's not crazy to feel like you'll never meet anyone else, but definitely know that you are wrong and in for SO MANY pleasant surprises in your future. Hope you'll share them with us!

Lily Rowan

I am excited that my work week ends in 30 minutes!

If I don't get to the beach this weekend, I'm going to stab someone. (IIDGTTBTWIGTSB) I hope it's no one I'm related to!

Bittersweet

@Lily Rowan Did you get to the beach? I'd hate to have to visit you in the ugly Cambridge jail after stabbing someone... (which beach?)

Lily Rowan

@Bittersweet I did, finally, just now! Revere, because it's on the subway and AWESOME.

Ophelia

My office is closing at 3! I am having a hard time not just stopping work now.

lobsterhug

I've been a terrible mod for the Ravelry Hairpin group and was wondering if anyone with more experience/verve for crafting might want to take over?

okaycrochet

@lobsterhug THERE'S A RAVELRY HAIRPIN GROUP?!?!?!
I'm not your girl moderator-wise, but I am about to join the shit out of that group.

lobsterhug

@okaycrochet Yes! It's not the most active group (hence the request), but we have a nice contingent of pinners.

professionalmess

@lobsterhug I too am joining the hell out of that.

sherbet

@lobsterhug JOINED. (I am mostly a lurker on here, so I hope it's okay!)

lobsterhug

@sherbet Yes! We just need two more people to break 100!

JanieS

PINNERS. I am in need of commiseration and/or advice.

So I saw my MD this week to discuss my depression issues, and she, being awesome, ordered up a bunch of tests to rule out physiological causes, like thyroid problems or low vitamin D.

One of these tests (something about 'transglutaminase')seems to indicate that I may have celiac disease.

I think this is because the Roman god Glutenacia has seen how much I love bread, beer, and all things grainy, and has decided I must be smited. Smitten. Smoted.

So now I am fretting because obviously I don't want to screw up my insides, and IBS-like problems DO seem to run in my family. But ... BEER. AND BREAD. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Hot Doom

@JanieS Gluten-free beerrrrr. Drink it! And I've had some delicious gluten free bread and muffins and different baked goods that are amazing, and sometimes better than the gluten kind. Though, I know, it does not offer infinite variety of the gluteny persuasion.

WaityKatie

@JanieS I have been suspecting that I have some kind of wheat-intolerance, too. Trying to cut out wheat for a while to see what happens and it is goddamn impossible! They put wheat in everything! The wheat lobby must be even more powerful than I imagined.

SarahP

@JanieS Oh no! I'm sorry for your loss of gluten. I have three gluten-free family members, and while the learning curve is tough, it's getting easier and easier for gluten-free folks these days. WHile gluten-free breads and beers used to exist but were terrible, there are now plenty that aren't terrible! You can have bread and beer! And maybe it will also warm up your palate for new things?

JanieS

@SarahP @LolaLaBalc At least I am in a location where it should be easier-than-average to find gluten-free foods. If there is good gluten-free beer to be had, I should be able to find it in San Francisco.

whimsy

@JanieS
I've been dating a guy who has Celiacs and it really hasn't been too bad... Lots more asian and mexican foods and there are some very acceptable Gluten-free beers (although I know he might kill me in order to get a gluten free stout if one existed)
And the gluten free UDI bread is decent, and he raves about some gluten free waffles he has.... I'd have to find out the brand.

I have to say, the best is it makes work harder to include more veggies because I can't just fill my plate with pasta at dinner anymore!

JanieS

@WaityKatie Yeah, I am not looking forward to dissecting every ingredient list I come across ... I assume that wheat protein is just a useful building block in making foods, though.

Lily Rowan

@JanieS If you're interested in cooking with lots of non-wheat flours and whatnot, seriouseats.com has a regular gluten free recipe feature. For what that's worth.

mysterygirl

@JanieS : Estrella Damm Daura is a gluten-free beer that actually tastes like real beer! And it comes in an adorable four-pack (even though that means it's a rip-off, price-wise).

Fingers crossed that all goes well for your insides!

Baby Fish Mouth

@JanieS I can't help much with the bread but there are gluten-free beers. You could check out Beer Advocate and search for gluten-free beers and see what they're rated as a starting point. I know I've had a couple gluten free beers but for the life of me I can't remember which ones. They were tasty though so there is hope!

VDRE

@JanieS FWIW the transglutimase test alone isn't enough to diagnose Celiac disease so you might not have it! But if you do have it I recommend getting this book which has 4 gluten free beer recipes in it. Including one made with carrots! Carrot beer! (you will also need to buy beer making equipment if you want to make this happen but it's a good investment because then you have cheap beer forever)

JanieS

@Lily Rowan Thanks for the link. One of my worries here is that I live with grubby roommates. The kitchen is small, with little storage space, and my roommates can't be trusted to clean up after themselves or not eat my food. I wouldn't MIND cooking, I just don't know how feasible it will be.

Daisy Razor

@JanieS Janie, my daughter has celiac and if you want a much longer list of tips and good brands than I can put in a comment, feel free to email me at lmercier via the google mails.

JanieS

@VDRE Ah! Thanks! I'm definitely following up with my MD, but so much of the literature I've been able to find on line is kind of obscure and garbled ...

WaityKatie

@JanieS No it must be a conspiracy! CONSPIRACY!!

JanieS

@Daisy Razor Email sent! Thanks a lot!

JanieS

@WaityKatie Now I'm picturing Big Corn and Big Wheat locked in a winner-take-all battle. Possibly in a Thunderdome. :D

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@JanieS Bisquik makes a gluten-free mix which is expensive but oh god so delicious. BISCUITS. YOU CAN HAVE BISCUITS. Also there is a chocolate cake recipe that uses mashed up garbanzo beans instead of flour and it is delicious. And they sell pre-mixed gluten free flour (the best mixes for baking contain some mystery ratio of several types of non-wheat flour) which you can basically just use exactly as regular flour except for the fact that it costs a lot more per pound.

Inkling

@JanieS
My roommate has Crohn's and it is NOT the worst, eating gluten-free! Also, have you ever heard of chess freakin' pie? It has one to no tablespoons of flour in it and it is ohhh mah gods. Treat yourself to some Dutch-processed cocoa and daaaaamn.

teaandcakeordeath

@JanieS
this is late but:

GIN. CIDER. POTATOES!

teaandcakeordeath

@teaandcakeordeath
Not to sound flippant. I have been reorientating my eating habits after having similar issues and those are now a few of my favourite things!

scottssions

Neil deGrasse Tyson tweeted:
"A month's second full Moon is the Blue Moon. Not rare. More frequent than Presidential elections, yet nobody calls them rare." (https://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/240503966100758528)
So when a dumb (and in-the-closet) boy who keeps wanting to date me invited me on a moonlit hike this blue moon, it was so much easier for me to say no. :)

Fiddle dee dee

@scottssions

Neil deGrasse Tyson: Superhero saving ladies from bad dates with in-the-closet boys!

allofthecrafts

Pinfriends, it's TMI vag problem time!

Here's what's up. I have a septate hymen. It makes it so using tampons is nearly impossible without lots of sad bathroom struggling, and sexy-times will probably be almost impossible. I'm 21, I need my tampon and sexy-time freedom. Do any of you have this? How have you dealt with it? I've been to two different gynecologists who have a.) not known what it was and b.) not been able to locate it during the exam (which leads to half-naked crying at the gynecologist OH THE FUN).

Help me 'pinnerssssssss.

Plant Fire

@allofthecrafts From what I've read about septate hymens is that typically gynecologists will snip them (it's a simple outpatient procedure) so that tampon insertion and sexytimes are easier for you. I'd try going to planned parenthood (I think they'd be more likely than anywhere else to recognize a septate hymen and know what to do with it) and tell them it's been causing problems for you and see what they can do about it.

whateverlolawants

@allofthecrafts My friend has a septate vagina... is that similar? She had surgery on it. I'm at work and can't say more here, but I will come back and follow this discussion. Hugs!

Judith Slutler

@allofthecrafts I had this, and got it snipped when I was like 15. The gyno just put some topical anaesthetic on there and the actual procedure took like 30 seconds. think I took OTC pain pills for a week or so afterwards, but it was so worth it! Don't be embarrassed, my gyno said it was super common.

olivebee

@allofthecrafts I had surgery to fix a similar hymen issue when I was in high school. I was knocked out for it, but basically they opened it up and then cauterized the wound. So it's not a big deal, other than you kind of walk like you got off a horse for a few days.

I feel your pain, though, because I used to cry at all my gyno appointments before she finally discovered what the issue was. It will get better after you have a procedure, don't worry!

plonk

@allofthecrafts yeah one of my best friends had that. she got it snipped with a laser. it sounded like a simple procedure; she took a day off to relax and recover. i would keep looking for a doctor who has a solution!

Inkling

@allofthecrafts
Just wanted to say! Both of those gynecologists should have been half (full) crying in their offices. I'm sorry a professional's ignorance made you feel bad, but luckily it seems like this can be taken care of really easily!

'riel

@JanieS Is there any way to test if you actually have celiac disease?

JanieS

@'riella Apparently the only way to confirm is an endoscopy. I have a message in to my doc about my next steps here. I will probably want definite confirmation before overhauling my whole dietary lifestyle. But it's a holiday weekend, so I wouldn't bet on hearing back from the MD before next week sometime ... :\

Megasus

@JanieS I had a blood test done

JanieS

@Megano! Which blood test? I had a blood test done - tissue transglutaminase IGG and IGA - is that the one you had?

Megasus

@JanieS It was a really long time ago, so I don't really remember, just that it cost $50 and it was to determine if they even needed to do an endoscopy.

whimsy

@'riella
It's a mixture of blood tests and technically the gold standard is a biopsy, which is taking a little tissue from your intestines. A lot of people don't want to undergo the biopsy and will just stop eating gluten based on the blood tests whether or not they actually have the disease, but in a medical sense they will not actually have a Diagnosis...

JanieS

@whimsy Yeah, that's what I understand. I'd rather have the confirmation, so I'm going to do the biopsy.

SarcasticFringehead

So is there an anatomical reason why women shouldn't wear men's shoes? I want, like, these, or similar. Obviously, men's pants, shirts, whatever are sized and made differently (not that women should't wear them, just that they look weird on me). Same for shoes, or no?

Gracefully and Grandly

@SarcasticFringehead I'm curious about that as well! I keep searching for the perfect pair oxfords and can never find ones that I like in the women's section. But I'll find thousands of them for dudes.

ReginaSavage

@SarcasticFringehead I have been wearing men's shoes for most of my life with no ill effects.

TheDragon

@SarcasticFringehead Men's shoes are generally wider than women's are, for the same length

withatwist

@SarcasticFringehead If they don't look weird to you, I say wear them! My running shoes are men's. The sales guy told me that the men's pair was basically identical to the ladies, except for color schemes, but the men's model was on sale. I think my men's shoes are men's 6s and I normally wear a 7.5-8.

WhiskeySour

@SarcasticFringehead Men's shoes are sized differently and tend to run wider than women's. As a wide-footed lady I wear men's shoes a lot, especially when it comes to sneakers. I wear an 8 or 8-1/2 wide in women's, which is like a 6-1/2 in men's.

JanieS

@SarcasticFringehead My Chuck Taylors always have both the mends and the women's sizes on the box. But then, I'm a girl who wears Chuck Taylors all the time, I am clearly not a shoe-knowledge expert.

entangled

@SarcasticFringehead I wear little boys cleats to play ultimate and I've never had a problem. those things are $20 and take a LOT of wear.

WaityKatie

@SarcasticFringehead I wear men's shoes. Sneakers, mostly, but I assume the same principles apply. (men's sneakers usually come in way cooler colors!) The tricky part is figuring out what size will fit you in men's, other than that they are all just shoes, I think they are the same.

Anna Jayne@twitter

@SarcasticFringehead those are cool!! Get them! But yes: women's shoes usually use B as the "medium/standard" width, and men's usually use D as such so if you have a narrow foot your feet might slide around some.

SarcasticFringehead

Awesome! I used to wear men's shoes all the time in high school, when I assumed my feet were immortal, and then I fell into the mindset of only looking at the women's side of the site. And then I realized that probably in a lot of cases, the men's version is probably either cheaper or better-made.

And so this is where all my overtime earning goes. Worth it? Yes.

maybe partying will help

@SarcasticFringehead

Ooh. Now I kinda want those too.

PatatasBravas

@SarcasticFringehead Trololol, nope, there's a sizing adjustment but all of my hiking boots are dudely sized for comfort.

(and because I refuse to wear hiking boots that are colored things other than brown)

SarcasticFringehead

@maybe partying will help What's really dangerous is that the store is literally on the first floor of the building our office just moved into. I could walk down there and get them RIGHT NOW! Although they probably wouldn't have the right size.

Lucienne

I think my cat might be hallucinating? She is walking around and complaining and I don't know what she waaaaaants. All her needs are met! Why can't she speak English? She's had 17 years to learn.

Lucienne

@Lucienne Maybe she is bored. I don't have any furniture for her to destroy, and "destroyer of furniture" has always been a biggish part of her identity.

laurel

@Lucienne: Sudden behavioral changes that persist usually equal = vet visit, I'm afraid, esp in older kitties. Maybe spend the next couple of days observing eating, drinking, pooing and peeing and note any changes to routine in terms of inputs and outputs. For example, you can empty the litter box and put relatively little fresh litter in it and take note if urine frequency and volume seems different than normal.

Could be nothing, just random kitty weirdness! Or it could be a change that means something more that you can get a handle on now before it becomes acute.

Lucienne

@laurel Yeah, I've been careful about monitoring her physically because she's old (although you wouldn't know it to look at or hang out with her) and moving was a big change, but everything seems fine there. Which is why the yowling is such a puzzle! I'll keep an eye on her, definitely.

laurel

@Lucienne: Ah, moving! Yep, that could totally destabilize a kitty (and a human). Does she like to play with toys? If my dogs are reacting to a stressful event (houseguests, me being gone a lot, etc.) I try to make sure they're super tired from lots of exercise. Settles them right down.

Ugh, I'm in advice-giving mode today. Sorry!

Lucienne

@laurel No, advice is totally fine! I mean, it's why I posted, haha. I hadn't thought about toys, but she does like them sometimes, so getting her some would be a good idea.

We've been here for almost a month, so she could be transitioning from "why is this a new place" to "why is this not exactly the way I want it, why are you so boring?" Toys would probably help.

gospel_plow

@Lucienne My older (16 years old) cat meows all the time, seemingly randomly, too. I don't think I'd ever heard him meow before this year. The vet said that he's going deaf and since he's pretty old, he probably just forgets where he is at times, and that's why he's meowing. So it's amusing/annoying, but not necessarily a sign of something dangerous!

like a rabid squirrel

@Lucienne I just moved and my kitty (who's generally nearly mute - I seriously didn't hear her meow until she was probably 5 months old) has been quite vocal as well. I think it was the change of surroundings, time zone switch (feeding time changed), plus the fact that not all of her toys arrived until a couple days ago. What a princess. I hope yours calms down soon. :)

olivebee

My husband and I had our first wedding anniversary this week, and we wanted to take a short trip this weekend to somewhere close to Chicago, so we settled on Madison. If any Madison...ians(?) have recommendations on neighborhoods to visit, things to do/see, and [vegetarian-friendly] restaurants at which to eat, I'd be really, really appreciative! Thanks in advance!

Related: for my anniversary present, he made me this large, framed collage by decoupaging excerpts and illustrations from my favorite childhood book over really cool paper patterns (vintage maps, scrabble pieces, old-looking script handwriting). It is beautiful. He will forever trump me as the better gift-giver in our relationship.

smidge

@olivebee Congratulations!

dj pomegranate

@olivebee That is a seriously awesome gift!

Pizzahut

@olivebee I like Dobham or Umami for good vegetarian food, One Barrel Brewing just opened and is very popular/busy. Also check out Le Tigre Lounge if you get a chance. There is free ping pong at Snicks Sportsmans Bar.
Most people like to hang out around Capitol Square or the near east side, I would avoid the campus area as it is the weekend before school starts.
Swan Paddle Boats! http://www.wingraboats.com/rentals
Lots of brewery tours as well, if you like that. I have more suggestions if you need them.

olivebee

@smidge Thanks!!

@dj pomegranate I hesitated to post about the gift because it felt braggy, but then I realized this is the only place on the internet where people embrace other people's happy news. Plus it involved crafts & literature, and Pinners love crafts & literature.

@Pizzahut Thanks for the suggestions! What neighborhoods would be considered artsy or more on the funky side? Like with cute boutiques and art stores and charming restaurants.

Pizzahut

@olivebee You are looking for the Willy St/Atwood Area. If you visit there are a lot of shops/restaurants/cafes, and you will be near Olbrich Gardens for an outdoor activity if the weather is nice. You could also try the East Johnson Corridor, not as much there but a few good restaurants and shops, also near two popular parks (James Madison and Tenney Park.) Both are near to the Capitol building and the associated restaurants and shopping. It wouldn't be difficult to hit all three neighborhoods on foot, especialy if you have more than one day. You could also hit up Monroe Street, more shopping there but lots of restaurants and a few galleries as well.

Are you visiting weekdays or on a weekend?

leonstj

oh haha hey everyone. so, i'm mostly retiring fake-name-me (leon) in the next few weeks to focus my spare-time on 'artistic endeavors' i have been ignoring and putting off and not doing basically just forever. i have this whole fake name system so i can do/say whatever without fear of it connecting to my real all of that, but ya know, i want to be doing stuff that connects to real me.

so, it has been awesome and spectacular and etc, and i will still read here and probably still occassionally comment from time to time (though the avatar will change!) - i've had so much terrific fun interacting w/ so many wonderful people. and, if anyone is curious about what i'll be doing in the future, feel free to click on my username and follow the link to my tumblr - which will also get phased out, but there you can msg me to say hi and let me know who you are if you're interested in real-me reaching out and adding you to the list of people who i harangue for support w/ new projects.

(movie-type projects, basically. once upon a time for half my life i was dead-set on making movies, then i quit, now i realize quitting that dream is the root of all current non-happy parts of my life, so now i'm doing it for reals, i hope.)

Reginal T. Squirge

Oh, no! Good luck and good for you but oh, no!

Blondsak

@leon s You will be missed, Sir! But that is great news for you and best of luck! Also, I will definitely be following your Tumblr so as to keep up with your imminent success.

Ophelia

@leon s Good luck, and break some legs!

Judith Slutler

@leon s I kinda thought, because of the namechange? Go out and do your thang!!!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@leon s follow your dreeeeeaaaams! (No seriously, go do it! You will be missed.)

KeLynn

@leon s - I'm still not quite understanding this "putting real life ahead of the internet" choice you've made, but I support you.

Maryaed

@leon s Um, what? I am sad because I like reading you. Also, can't get to your tumblr from here.

leonstj

@leon s - Oh, I thought for some reason it was there if you clicked a name. Anyway, it's here.

PistolPackinMama

@leon s Bonne chance! That sounds like a really super-exciting plan, and I hope it's equally fun and challenging.

whizz_dumb

I planned out and am hosting my friend's bachelor party tonight in Chicago. Cuban food, bowling, bar: simple. When I called the bar to give a heads up and/or see if they could do something special like hang a Bluth banner, the dude was like "We don't take reservations and if you try to bring strippers in here WE WILL call the cops". And I go "okay man, I...no...we're not doing that, we don't do that". I find it incredibly annoying that strippers are widely assumed to be involved with bachelor parties.

remargaret

@whizz_dumb Family Love Michael

olivebee

@whizz_dumb Sounds like a fun bachelor party, and I'm with you that the stripper thing is so annoying. My husband had to actively work to convince people he wasn't having them at his because no one believed him. Where are you going bowling? My favorite alley is Lincoln Square Lanes because it's sooooo old and vintage.

whizz_dumb

@olivebee That's the one! Right above the Ace Hardware. I need to remember how to keep score, which shouldn't be too difficult.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@whizz_dumb
I dunno, makes sense to me. Right before I got married there was nothing I wanted to do more than remove worn varnish from old furniture.

That is what everyone is talking about right?

olivebee

@whizz_dumb That alley is about 7 blocks from where I live. My friends and I go bowling there usually once a month or so, and I was actually thinking of going tonight because I get done babysitting earlier than usual. If I do end up going, I'll keep an eye out for a group of dudes and know that one of them is a fellow Hairpin fan.

whizz_dumb

@olivebee We should have a hairpin gesture signal, like a more subtle baseball coach sign. Also a sky projected signal like the bat signal but less urgent/consequential.

whizz_dumb

@olivebee I'll be the one scratching my itchy scalp with one hand and tipping back a cheap beer with the other, maybe not simultaneously.

olivebee

@whizz_dumb Hahah, if I show up, I will be the one wearing my mom's old bowling shoes that look like a grandmother's old, white Reeboks. I also have wide thumbs that don't fit into small bowling balls, so I have to use ones that are way too heavy for me and therefore roll slowly down the lane.

And speaking of drinks, if you get a turkey at that alley, they give you and a friend a free shot of Wild Turkey. I happily partake in the shots with my friends who get turkeys (because obviously I don't. See: thumbs, above).

whizz_dumb

@olivebee I'm drunk right now but I asked about that wild turkey special (I'm good enough to get 3) and they looked at me like I was a dumbass, which I am not!

charlesbois

I have been listening to Mozart arias, and other opera, for the last two days. Nice break from all the old school hip-hop I've been listening to lately.

Lucienne

@charlesbois I've been listening to Flight of the Conchords, which is great except then I get sad that there's no more FOTC.

charlesbois

@Lucienne have you seen their recently released song for charity. Like 4 days ago or something.

Lucienne

@charlesbois Yeah, that was adorable and sent me down this path of joy/sadness.

Audley

@charlesbois It's been a Mozart week for me too. I have probably listened to "Mi tradi quell'alma ingrata" several dozen times in the past few days.

Lila Fowler

Hairpinners! Can I get some Love Success stories up in here? Or some Single Lady Success stories? I feel like I'm ready to give up on love. My life is great: I have a solid career for a 20-something, good friends, a good independent lady thing going on, but I cannot meet a person who fits with my jive. How do I figure my shit out? Or make peace with having solo shit?

smidge

@Lila Fowler A little over two years ago I met a guy who was nice, but who I thought was totally not my type. He was interested, though, so I hung out with him a few times. Then one day I was stressed out from work and just wanted to be around someone I found soothing, and I discovered that he was the first person I thought of.
We got married last month!

Weasley

@smidge

I started out hanging out with my now-boyfriend after running into him at a coffee shop and playing a game of UNO. We had know each other from campus but never hung out in any significant way until then. That was almost three years ago.

olivebee

@Lila Fowler My husband and I have been together since we were 17. Our sophomore year of college, we took a break because we were kind of smothering each other, and got back together 2 months later with a much healthier, happier relationship. We got married last August and things are even better than I could have hoped. I think Love success comes from 100% complete trust in each other and being able to be your goofiest, grossest, saddest, happiest, most honest self around each other.

SarahP

@Lila Fowler Until I was 22, I never had a real relationship, and the time I spent "dating" (since the people I was with weren't ever okay with calling it a relationship) totaled about 6 months. Total. In 22 years. When I moved to Boston, I signed onto OKCupid at the recommendation with a friend, and though I went on loads of first dates, I seemed either to be one-date material or only to find people who were one-date material.

Annnd while there was definitely always some "why am I always alone" angst in the back of my head, I was happy. All my time was mine, I liked going out to clubs and flirting, I had enough friends that I didn't have to do anything alone if I didn't want to. So I was happy.

And then one day without doing anything different, I met a guy (through OKC) who was definitely not one-date material, and who thought I was definitely not one-date material, and now we're married and I'm also happy.

It is statistically likely that someday someone will come along who's great for you, but in the meantime, it sounds like you should just keep enjoying being your awesome, independent, happy-as-you-can-be self.

dj pomegranate

@Lila Fowler I had just gotten out of a long, long relationship with an emotionally abusive but handsome man. Started hanging out with my roommate's high school friend, who had also just been dumped after a long, long relationship. We biked a lot of places and drank a lot of coffee. Then one night after drinking too much beer, we went home together and made out. 3 years later, he just emailed me asking for my ring size. Moral of the story: don't sweat it, drink a lot of beer.

Edit to add: "Roommate's high school friend" was not actually IN high school. They knew each other FROM high school!

Blondsak

@Lila Fowler My cousin who is 42 just became someone's "serious girlfriend" (her words) for the first time in her life. She met the guy because he accidentally ran over her feet in a parking lot (she was replacing a popped tire)and broke a bunch of foot and ankle bones. He visited her the day after in the hospital with flowers and profuse apologies and 6 months later here they are, four working feet strong, two full hearts up, and dating!

entangled

@Lila Fowler I think the key is to be at a place where you're happy as is, but always willing to include new people/activities/things that are a positive on your life.

I was 24, living in NY, and just screwing around on okcupid when I met my husband. I hadn't dated anyone long term since college and was bored. I think part of me wanted a short term relationship just to remind myself that I was capable of being in a relationship but mostly I just wanted to meet new people, go new places, and maybe have some sex. When I met the guy who is now my husband, we just ended up having so much fun together that our dates would last until noon the next day, and we'd plan another one for as soon as we could get together again. I was actually a little wary of getting serious with him, but he was really up front and honest that he was really into me. I guess that's the four things for me - honesty, fun, no bullshitting around, and being open-minded with myself and other people.

MailerMattDaemon

@Lila Fowler I was in a long-term relationship several years ago, but moved from the South to NYC for a job. We split up; I was devastated. We didn't speak for nearly two years, during which time he began seeing someone else and I started my life anew in the big city. But then, one day, I received a letter from him, asking for my forgiveness, friendship, and maybe more. I was skeptical, and even a bit terrified, since my heart had only *just* scabbed over. So for a year, from far away, he sent me a love song MP3 every morning. I listened to them when I was running, when I was walking to work, on stressful days, during my most joyful moments, etc. And we slowly fell in love again. That was three years ago, and we now live in an uproariously happy (if messy) home together.

Jennifer Culp

@Lila Fowler Love strikes in so many cool and unexpected ways. My almost-90-year-old grandfather and his wife are one of my favorite love success stories. He was devastated when my grandmother died of cancer. He tried to stay active and not become overwhelmed with despair, and the next year he met a striking tall woman with a wicked dry sense of humor and love of sparkly jewelry in a Sunday School class. She was also widowed, and had apparently had a lot of problems in her marriage before her husband passed away. She and my Papaw hit it off big time, fell madly in love, and were married within months. They've been together for 10 years now and still can't get enough of each other. They've helped each other through medical problems, gone on trips together, hang out with their buddies at the lake. They've toned down the PDA a liiiiittle bit since they first got together, but not much.

Porn Peddler

@MailerMattDaemon THE MP3S. NO FUCKING WAY OMG ADORABLE.

@Lila Fowler I love love love telling the story of Mister Peddler and I meeting.

I was in college, having a bad year, getting over a serious illness, holed up in my house all the time. I'll also point out that at this point in my life, I was very, very bad at dealing with physical contact and intimacy. But also, I've always been extremely forward, and this generally turned dudes off. So I was trying to reach out to people, be social, etc. and I started pursuing a dude we'll call X. X was acting like a fucking baby and liked to go home, get drunk, and rant about "this girl" to his room mates. He was probably a fan of opening my facebook page and scrolling through my pictures and saying "THIS GIRL" to anyone who would listen (but who hasn't done that, really?) One of his room mates, Mister Peddler, ended up listening to a lot of his shit, and rather than writing it off as some standard whiny crap, he thought, "I want to know that girl." He knew I was "a crazy bitch", wore my teeth in a jar around my neck, and what I looked like. Eventually, X did something that caused us to have a big fight because fuck that guy and it was at this point that Mister Peddler felt, in his words, "That he failed to treat you well and make you happy, and I wanted to give it a shot." So he contacted me, coaxed me into having coffee the next day (all of my friends, to whom I narrated this drama in real time, said DO NOT HANG OUT WITH HIM/OKAY YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH HIM BUT DO NOT SMOOCH HIM) and we hung out for hours and hours and at the end of our first sorta-date, he said I needed to watch Let The Right One In and that he would call me the next day, and I didn't believe him, but then he did, and against the advice of my friends, I smooched his adorable bearded face (fun fact: he was not cute from far away, and then up close, omg). and then he kept calling me, daily, asking me to watch movies, go for walks, have dinner, etc. Within 72 hours we were never apart for long, we shared a bed every night, and he dealt so gracefully with the horrific ups and downs of Dating College-Age Porn Peddler and All Of Her Hangups and Her Inability To Deal With Sexual Contact and fuck, he was even quite happy to do it, and it was hard and scary and then he went abroad for a month right as I was falling in love with him and he came back and we were inseparable and we just renewed the lease on our beautiful apartment, in a new city, where we're slowly but surely building a wonderful life and community.

Perhaps a week after we met, we determined that over a year prior, I was sitting at a table on the main party strip in town selling baked goods at 2 AM (because why not that is what I did in college fuck off) when he and another room mate stopped by. I'd seen him around campus many many times and thought "please please please please please say something to me, please talk to me, please give me a reason to talk to you, please give me a reason to stop you the next time I see you on campus" but his room mate did the talking and Mister Peddler just walked off, shyly tugging his mustache all the while.

He was thinking the exact. same. thing.

MailerMattDaemon

@Porn Peddler Indeed! We have a veritable soundtrack!

supernintendochalmers

@Gussie Fink-Nottle Now THAT is a meet-cute!

supernintendochalmers

@Lila Fowler Well, it's more fun to be single than to be stuck in some shitty relationship you're not that into. A lot of people aren't capable of doing that, so give yourself props.

I straight-up told my guy I had feelings for him and he turned me down nicely because, um, he was actually dating someone else at the time. Butttt that ended and we started hanging out and then all the noise just sort of quieted down and I was in a relationship that felt so easy and made me so happy, I couldn't understand it. I started waiting for the thing that was going to fuck it up. And now it's 3 years later and we live together. It still might get fucked up, but I don't care. It's worth it.

Plant Fire

@Lila Fowler How my boyfriend and I met is kind of a long story but I've never really told anyone so I might as well do it now since everyone else is sharing!

So my freshman year of college I finally broke up with my emotionally abusive douchebag boyfriend (not juicebox, juiceboxes are tasty and cute and fun, he was none of those things). After a couple weeks of being an emotional wreck suddenly I realized that I was free, free as a bird and felt wonderful. Even before I dated him I wasn't really interested in relationships or boys that are anything more than friends (how I ended up with him I still do not know) and while a lot of things were crappy about my life and I loathed my town and the people in it and was fairly lonely but I still felt miles better than when I was with him and it was amazing.

Fast forward to my junior year, I had all my plans made for how to get out of that town I had two study abroad trips back to back (one summer, one fall), was going to graduate a semester early (got everything double checked with my advisor and two of the people in charge of graduation requirements) and then move to NYC and never ever come back.

So I left on the first study abroad and one night the first week of the trip I went out with some friends and noticed a guy in our group who was hands down the most attractive man I had ever seen. And I decided right then I wanted to have him and I was going to do whatever it took to get in his pants. So when he left the bar I invited myself along with him and we got to talking and he turned out to be really kind of cool. And I kept inviting him to things and inviting myself to things he was doing and basically dragging him along and inserting myself into his life whenever I could. And the more I talked to him the more I realized he was smart and kind and absolutely hilarious and of course I developed the biggest crush on him but I figured he only thought of me as a friend. Anyways, the trip ended and I figured I wouldn't see him again but then suddenly he offered to drive me home from the airport even though I lived with my parents in a completely different state. And then he spent the night. And then a couple days later he drove all the way down to my city to go to a concert with me. And then a couple days later I left the country for 4 months but we talked every week, sometimes pulling allnighters without even realizing.

And then I came back to the US but I was in a new city and so I invited myself over to his dorm and later that night we were talking and he asked me what I wanted to do next. And I said "Do you want to, like, make out?" because while in my head I am a confident mankiller in real like I am awkward. So awkward. But he did want to kiss me and it turned out he had a crush on me since he met me and then my schools administration made a mistake with my info and I had to come back for another semester and we hung out constantly and slept together every night and now I'm in New York and he's moving here to be with me in December. And I'm happy and even though it took me a while to get here (mostly because my plan was to be single until 35 and then maybe take a lover and suddenly falling for someone was freaking me out and ruining my plan) but I'm glad that I pushed myself to go back to that shitty town and kiss him. And I'm glad that he kissed me back.

supernintendochalmers

@Lila Fowler But also, being single can be great. You don't have to live without that food or band or activity your partner hates (there's always something), and every time you go out there's the possibility of meeting someone new, which can be really exciting. Plus, if you feel like making a huge life change and moving to France for a year, there's nothing stopping you. It's fun to read these stories of how everyone met their partners, but I also don't believe Life Starts Once You Meet Someone. There's just fewer meet-cute stories for being happy alone.

barefoot cuntessa

@Lila Fowler

I love my husband, but I've been in a relationship since I was 19. I don't regret any of the decisions I've made, but having a few years on my own before getting married would've been a more ideal situation. Embrace where you are. It really is a good place. I promise you will be ecstatic you have these times to look back on.

This is my new username

@Lila Fowler

I was hopelessly single until I was 25 and then one of my friends invited this boy out to our dodgeball game and sent me a text message saying "I'm inviting this guy out to dodgeball, he's a catch, you should date him!" and then that is just exactly what happened. We kinda chatted that night a bit, and kinda got a bit flirty at a party that my friend held awhile after. I actually almost missed that party, because there was a sad snow covered puppy on the road that I stopped to pick up because, obviously I couldn't just leave him! Anyway, after dropping the furball off at the appropriate location, I eventually made it to the party and we flirted during pictionary. He asked me out and now he has put a ring on it. Yesterday, we had one of those great days of sleeping in, having breakfast, and spending the day snuggling and not getting dressed until 7:00 pm and then watching firefly until the middle of the night.

Although I am super happy now, single time was also pretty great. You have more time to do what YOU want when you are single. I definitely had a lot of great bonding time with my other single friends during my single years. Not that being in a relationship stops that stuff from happening, there is just a bit less time to do it. Also, you don't have to compromise about what you are doing during holidays and special occasions! Like Christmas! Christmas as a couple is kind of hard!

withatwist

I just remembered what I wanted to post last week in FOT! (I've been wanting to be more active on the 'pin).
Can we talk about consumerism/ shopping? While moving I realized I own approximately 50 pairs of shoes. I felt sick about that. Some are really specific, like sparkly heels I wear once or twice a year, or the hiking boots I haven't worn since last fall, so that helps. I also live in an area with four very real seasons, including really cold winters. How many pairs of shoes (or other items you would like to discuss) do you own? Do you feel justified in owning that number? Do you still want more?

Hot Doom

@withatwist I stopped counting at 90 pairs, so I may have a few more or a few less, because I keep forgetting about/trashing pairs. I do want more, though I think more about it when I buy them. I went through a phase of spending, going out and more spending, which, don't get me wrong, I loved it, but I have been on a very fixed budget for the past year or so, which has prevented me buying any shoes, clothes I don't need, etc. I used to be on a 1 or 2 pair/month habit (I know! DSW, whhhhyyyy) and to be honest, I really did wear 80% of the shoes in a rotation. The other 20% were like, I dunno, stupid flip flops or water shoes, or things that I never wear but keep on hand just in case. So, I dunno, I am a bit surprised at myself because that is a shit-ton of money right there, and now that I live in a land without cars to go from doorstep to doorstep and lots of hills, I don't wear my old favorites as much, so I feel like, if I can't even wear the shoes I love, why would I buy more of the same?

fondue with cheddar

@withatwist WOAH I used your userpic as my livejournal userpic for like three years. It makes me so happy every time I see it. :)

I own nearly 100 pairs of shoes. Many of them are vintage and are more for collection's sake than wearing (I'm afraid they'll fall apart), but the vast majority are not. I spent a lot of years working in shoe stores so I got most of them on discount, and admittedly there are quite a few that don't fit anymore but I have a hard time getting rid of them because I'm a pack-rat. Anyway, my opinion might not count for much but I don't think 50 is bad.

Four seasons definitely require a lot of footwear.

I actually just bought two new pair yesterday, but they're for a specific purpose, too (hiking boots and water shoes).

withatwist

@jen325 A file of Exploding Dog stuff has been carried over through three computers now. I was obsessed in high school and still get excited when I see his stuff around.

Wrecking Ball Gown

@withatwist I worry about that, too. It's especially guilt-making when I think about what else I could have accomplished with that money instead of spending it on shoes (says the girl who just refinanced her mortgage and, after reviewing the application from my 2009 refi, realized in horror that I have the exact same amount of savings now as I did in 2009. I have made no progress whatsoever in 3 years).

My total is, I think, 35, and I probably only wear 20 of those pairs regularly enough to justify having bought them. Seeing the number makes me feel ridiculous about having that many of one thing, four seasons notwithstanding. The only positive thing I take from that is at least I've started to buy shoes at Target rather than the way more expensive places I was shopping at before. Small victories!

withatwist

@Wrecking Ball Gown That's interesting about purchasing cheaper shoes instead. I've slowed down in shoe buying recently but spend about the same amount of money. Buying nicer shoes for the kind that I anticipate to be workhorses (black wedges, tan sandals) has led to me being happier with just those and not feeling like I need as much variety. I've also been trying to buy fewer but better-made clothes in general. With the exception of white tee shirts have found that a single stripey long-sleeve tee that always looks great is a better option for me than three striped shirts, none of which are quite perfect.

cuminafterall

@withatwist I haven't counted my pairs of shoes lately, but I'm pretty sure it's in the 12-15 range. I don't want more pairs necessarily, but I'd like to start replacing some of my shoes with nicer ones. And there is always room in my life for the new shoe I can't live without-- I just don't find those very often!

Right now I'm actually on a 6-month clothes-and-shoes-buying hiatus (July to December) so I can really take stock of what I LOVE and what I feel "meh" about. I am actually learning a lot about myself in this process! If your circumstances allow, I highly recommend it.

Wrecking Ball Gown

@withatwist I agree on quality-vs.-quantity as a factor, definitely. However, I started to notice that I was wearing out my work shoes (heels) so quickly, regardless of quality, that I decided I should just shop at Target instead and continue to get the heels repaired, etc. as needed just the same as I did with my more "quality" shoes.

Plus it didn't hurt that within the span of about a month I found that Target was carrying much cheaper knockoffs of TWO pairs of shoes I had previously purchased more expensive versions of elsewhere. I wear both versions and cannot tell any difference whatsoever in wear or quality.

Wrecking Ball Gown

@cuminafterall A buying hiatus is a great idea, I need to think about that for other purchases too. BUT I'm actually planning the opposite for next year - I'm generally terrible at buying clothes, I never do it unless there's a specific need, e.g. I need a dress for a wedding, or before I went on a two-week trip last year I bought a bunch of new shirts. So, next year my budget includes a monthly amount for clothes, carved out so I don't spend it on something non-clothes, so I can replace a bunch of stuff that is way past its wearable prime. I'm hoping that by the end of the year I'll have several new skirts for work, some non-concert tees to wear outside of work, and maybe more than one pair of jeans.

Jeez, nice response by me to what originated as a "are we too consumerist" question...

withatwist

@cuminafterall I want to hear more about your shopping hiatus! I've been considering something similar.
@Wrecking Ball Gown No! I think buying deliberately is more important and that's what it sounds like you're doing. Setting a budget and having specific items is being a smart consumer. When I go looking for specific items I usually buy less and am happier with my purchases then when I find myself browsing after work with the vague idea that I might pick up a few new things.

fondue with cheddar

@Wrecking Ball Gown I'm the same as you! I don't buy clothes nearly as often as I should because I was poor for so many years I feel guilty, like it's splurging even if I really need the stuff. I did buy shoes though, because as I said above, I worked in shoe stores and thus got really good deals.

polka dots vs stripes

@withatwist I own maybe 30-40, 20-30 of which I wear regularly and the rest that are special occasion/event specific (red high heels, hiking boots) or seasonal. I definitely owned more when I lived somewhere with 4 seasons.

I don't want to own MORE necessarily, but I do want to own NICER ones. I'm slowly trying to turn my workhorse "Oh I'll just buy ANOTHER pair of black flats at Target" purchases into "Why don't we spend more money on something that will actually last longer than one year!" purchases. I'm slowly making progress.

frigwiggin

@withatwist I don't think focusing on the number is necessarily...necessary? I guess what I mean is don't beat yourself up over it, you're not making the world worse with your 50 pairs of shoes. I think if belongings start overrunning the space you have to store them, then that can become an issue, but you're not a terrible person for having a lot of shoes! There is not only one way to be a good person; you don't HAVE to be a minimalist in order to be Winning at Life. It's good to stop and think about need vs. want, and whether what you have is fulfilling your needs, and what's getting used vs. what's not, and WHY you buy (because you're feeling down? because you're bored? because you're trying to fill some other need that can't be filled?), but it's also okay to want things just because they're pretty vs. only having The Most Practical Workhorse Items.

cuminafterall

@withatwist So the shopping hiatus started originally because I moved. I was packing everything from my closet into boxes and thought, I have everything I need. After spending years building a professional wardrobe and replacing college clothes, this was a revelation. Plus I knew I'd be spending a lot of money on moving/furnishing the new place, so cutting out new clothes freed up budget space for other stuff.

I did not expect to learn which things I actually enjoy wearing, or what "my style" would look like if I cut out all the stuff I don't like so much. Now I know I like simple, menswear-inspired and structured, architectural stuff, with the occasional fun twirly dress. The challenge now is about saving $$ to buy the things I really like... we'll see how I do.

KeLynn

@withatwist - I don't know how many shoes I have, but lately I've been trying to whittle down my whole wardrobe - clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. I have....kind of a lot of stuff. For a few years just out of school I kind of over-bought clothing, for a handful of reasons that aren't worth listing out here. But now when I look in my closet I'm just overwhelmed at it. I get anxiety when I think about how long it's been since I wore something, even if everything's in a pretty equal rotation.

So anyway, I'm trying to go through and get rid of stuff and simplify everything, but I feel so guilty for having spent so much time, money, and energy creating this wardrobe that now just makes me feel trapped. I feel...gluttonous.

barefoot cuntessa

I MIGHT HAVE A NEW JOB! I commented a couple weeks ago about following up with the owner of a company who complimented my sales skills. I didn't hear back for long enough to think it was a lost cause, but he emailed me on Monday! My friend is helping me with my resume, and she told me that if this thing fell through, our other friend needs to hire a sales rep and perks would include free travel Cuba and SE Asia. This would allow me to quit my retail job where the current office drama is slowly murdering my soul. I don't want to get too excited, but oh my lordy would this be fabulous!

Diaphanous Gown

Hello, I am new. But I've been reading for months which made me feel a bit like a peeping tom so I thought I ought to say something. I follow some of you on the Twitters (I'm booJess).

Whoever it was that recommended Tigers In Red Weather a few weeks back, thank you. I loved it.

Alli525

@Diaphanous Gown Hello & welcome!!

TheDragon

@Diaphanous Gown
Welcome to the Pin!

polka dots vs stripes

@Diaphanous Gown I just joined a week ago and already comment too much for my own good! Welcome :)

Ophelia

@Diaphanous Gown Hello!

Alli525

My roommate is leaving tomorrow afternoon for 3 WEEKS in Europe (some of her family lives there) and I have honestly NO idea what I'll do without her, other than hang around in just my underwear a lot more often. My instinct is "house party!!" but our apartment (Astoria whatupppp) is a bit too small for an actual party so now I think I'll just be bored. Bleh.

Anna Jayne@twitter

@Alli525 Hi Astoria neighbor! Have a fun pantsless 3 weeks.

Girl Named Jack

@Alli525 When I have the house to myself I pee with the door open. How else are the pets going to hear me sing songs to them constantly?

Alli525

@Girl Named Jack The FOT from two weeks ago? when we all talked about what songs we sing to our cats? BEST EVER.

Girl Named Jack

@Alli525 SO MANY AWESOME SONGS.

runner in the garden

@Alli525 when is the next Astoria party?

Plant Fire

@Alli525 You should have an Astoria pinup! I don't live in Astoria but I'm not far away and will totally go or help host or whatever.

Nicole Cliffe

I am, um, turning thirty on Sunday. But it's TOTALLY FINE. I'm only thismany older than all the heroines.

fondue with cheddar

@Nicole Cliffe Happy birthday! I'm much closer to forty than thirty, and I can say with certainty that your thirties will be awesome. Much better than being in your twenties.

And it looks like the forties will be even better, so you still have something to look forward to. :)

dj pomegranate

@Nicole Cliffe YAY for turning 30 this September! (I will be posting something similar in two weeks.) Many happy returns of the day!

SarahP

@Nicole Cliffe Hooray! Congrats! Happy birthday!

toastandjam

@Nicole Cliffe Happy happy! I am 33. It will be fine.

entangled

@Nicole Cliffe I just turned 30. Nothing major has changed, but it's given me a little bit more ammunition to say fuck it to the bullshit (mostly my own bullshit, but still)

Ophelia

@Nicole Cliffe I just turned 31, and from the other side of the line, I can say 30 is a good year. Have fun!

romastrega

@Nicole Cliffe My 30s have totally ROCKED and are miles better than the 20s. Trust me. You are entering the "I am Woman hear me ROAR" phase of your life. You feel smarter, sexier, and more confident in your 30s - like you are finally figuring this shit out. Happy birthday!

lobsterhug

@Nicole Cliffe Happy birthday! I'm mentally preparing for my 30th birthday in October. I hope that by that time I will have come to terms with being an adult.

fondue with cheddar

@lobsterhug I turned 30 more than eight years ago and I'm still coming to terms with being an adult. ;)

Heat Signature

@romastrega I agree...I'm going to be 35 in about three weeks and I have vigorously enjoyed them, far more than my 20s.

Daisy Razor

@Nicole Cliffe As I said in another thread this week, when I turned 30, my Give-A-Fuck broke. And it has been glorious. 30s >>> 20s, definitely.

lobsterhug

@jen325 Thanks for the warning! I have these moments where I feel totally brilliant and powerful and like a woman who gets shit done, but I'm still equally the girl who wants to just read, watch tv, and generally not take responsibility for things.

all the bacon and eggs

@Nicole Cliffe I turned thirty earlier this month and have not yet come to terms with it whatsoever.

fondue with cheddar

@lobsterhug The more time I spend on this planet, the more I start to realize that the big secret is the fact that we all feel that way.

Maryaed

@Nicole Cliffe Wait, how do you know so much shit already at only 30? Unfair. Please regress a little to make us oldsters feel better.

And happy birthday.

Professor Zero

@Nicole Cliffe Happy birthday! It's my birthday on Monday, but I turn 38 and it turns out that sucks monkey balls. #midlifecrisis.

VelourFog

@Maryaed seriously. Plus she's got a husband, a baby and an engagement horse. I haven't achieved any of those things and I'm already 31.
Nicole girl, you got this. Just fucking coast...

fondue with cheddar

@Professor Zero NOOO 38 is great! Or at least it CAN be. I'm enjoying 38 a hell of a lot more than 28, that's for sure.

@CarlyM I had a failed marriage, never had kids, never owned a home or a new car, don't have a very good job, and have spent most of my life doing without a lot of things that most people take for granted. I haven't accomplished much, but I'm starting to realize that that's okay. Surrounding yourself with good people, not comparing yourself to others, being nice, and savoring the good moments is the way to win at life.

fondue with cheddar

I'm going camping on Lake George this weekend! On an island that's a two-hour canoe ride from the shore!

noodge

teenie be jelly! have so much fun!

charmcity

@jen325 I have camped on those islands!! So fun and beautiful. Have an amazing time.

Girl Named Jack

@jen325 That's my neck of the woods! Uh, literally. I'm jealous you managed to get an island campground for this weekend. That is some serious campground reservation ninja action. Have fun!

fondue with cheddar

@charmcity Cool! I've never been there so I don't really know what to expect except that it will be beautiful. :)

@Girl Named Jack My boyfriend's friend arranged it many months ago. I don't know if he goes there regularly or he knows somebody or what, but it's a big group and we have the island all to ourselves. I have no idea how big it is but it should be fun! Man, it must be great to live somewhere so breathtaking.

Girl Named Jack

@jen325 Yay for having the island to yourself! That is the only way to do it. And living up here is pretty awesome, for us country-mouse types. Enjoy!

fondue with cheddar

@Girl Named Jack I like living close to a city, but at heart I'm a nature girl. I grew up in a South Jersey suburb halfway between Philly and the Pine Barrens. The housing development was new, and they started building before they acquired all the land. They built two streets and then the seller backed out. So I had acres of woods right behind my house. The best of both worlds! I do enjoy being further away from civilization, though. I can't wait!

fondue with cheddar

@Girl Named Jack Okay, so camping on Lake George was freaking AWESOME. You're so lucky to live in such a beautiful place. I have one question for you: is it always that bug-free? We didn't use any kind of bug repellant all weekend and the only flying insect we encountered was one yellow jacket! No mosquitoes!

Heat Signature

Watching MI:5 on Netflix Instant and I am RIVETED. I deeply wish I could spend all of my time watching it instead of doing pointless activities like "working".

dabbyfanny

@Heat Signature ooohh I loved that too!!

dj pomegranate

MANSPLAIN VICTORY OF THE WEEK: I was at a friend's going-away dinner, sitting with people I'd never met. My immediate neighbors at the table were three guys and one petite, friendly woman. We started introducing ourselves and talking about what we do, etc, and the three guys all work in finance. [Note--this is not meant to offend anyone here who works in finance, but talking to finance dudes in NYC is often *intolerable* because it's all they ever seem to be able to talk about, they come off as totally entitled, and IT IS BORING, YO.]

So ok, the three dudes predictably spend the next thirty minutes (not an exaggeration) exchanging finance stories, discussing hedge funds and investments, etc. And we two women were the obvious recipients of some bro-tastic financial mansplaining. ("So, you see, when you invest, you want to minimize risk...you know what risk is?" I mean, come on.) Finally, they realized that it was probably the female's turn to speak and one of them asked, "So...how about you guys? I guess you're in school nearby?" The woman next to me looked at them sweetly, paused, and said, "...I'm actually a vice-president of the tax department at [huge international bank]"

The stunned silence was priceless.

SarahP

@dj pomegranate I so wish I could've seen their faces.

Daisy Razor

@dj pomegranate I would have been unable to keep from yelling "YOU ARE MY NEW BEST FRIEND" when she busted that out. That is glorious.

Springtime for Voldemort

@dj pomegranate I would pay big money to see this become a scene in a sitcom.

Danzig!

Sent off some Pin Pal stuff today! I've got plenty of gold / perfume / strange esoterica if anybody wants in on this. john.w.thompson1986 at gmail! email me your addy, I will send you things.

Also, NYC pinners, we are in the process of figuring out a date for our next book club thing,we're aiming for the end of next month, possibly on a weekday. The book in question is "2666", if you'd like to join in. All the deliberation is going on via Facebook but if people are more comfortable with the Google Group I can bring it up there as well, just comment here and let me know. Our meetup on Sunday was not too small and not too big (and we left before @sea ermine got there! I'm sorry @sea ermine!) and it was really good times with good people. We'd love to meet as many of y'all as possible.

So other things - after Edith's poor posting on Tuesday I've decided to go on indefinite hiatus from the HP (this comment not really counting). I might read through FOTs but that just seems weird. And I'll show up to things like the book club, if they'll have me. And Pin Pals! But as stupid as it makes me feel to say it, I was reminded of how out of place I am around here. So I'm wiping the site from my feed.

Reginal T. Squirge

Oh, no! What poor posting!? WHY IS EVERYBODY LEAVING!!!???

fondue with cheddar

@Danzig! I started to comment that I'm glad to see you're still here because I was afraid you'd leave and never come back, but then I read the rest of your comment. I don't think you are, and Edith did apologize and genuinely seemed to regret her posting. Sometimes we all do stupid things. I'm sorry you feel out of place, though I really think you aren't. But your feelings are valid and I understand why you feel that way. If you change your mind you know where to find us. *hugs*

fondue with cheddar

@Reginal T. Squirge This one. Other people have left, too? :(

Reginal T. Squirge

Leon St. Jean, above! The motherfucking sky is falling!

whateverlolawants

@Danzig! I totally understand you feeling that way (that post was a very bad idea), but I never thought you were out of place! If you feel like coming back, I'd be happy.

Judith Slutler

@Danzig! Oh no! i just ignored the shit out of that post because I didn't have the energy to deal with it. I am sorry that it chased you away :(

Danzig!

@jen325 Usually I'm not, but the thing is that I like ladyblogs, I like the perspective that they bring to things and their relative lack of the tiring, Reddit-ish brodude commenting culture you find in most places on the internet.

But as many people have articulated, the "safe zone" sort of environment cultivated at most other popular feminist sites is equally tiring. I want to be able to ignore how brittle sexual abuse has made me, I want to be able to enjoy the company of thoughtful people without making my shame central to my presence. I hate hate hate having to present myself as a victim in order to berate someone for jokes like that, because it reminds me that if I didn't it would be as if nothing like that ever happens to anyone, and because it makes me look and feel crazy. After I do it, I feel like I can't face people because I've been forced to show what a mess I am, that such things would affect me so deeply. I'm behind on my work because I could not write on Tuesday.

I like all you guys a lot, but I need to get out of people's sight for awhile until I don't remember feeling so terrible about things.

fondue with cheddar

@Danzig! I understand. We're always marveling at how this is the one safe place on the Internet, so when something happens here that makes someone unsafe it's pretty unsettling.

I do think it's important for people to remind others that victims of abuse (or any other type of wrongdoing) are everywhere, and for it not to be a silent problem. But of course nobody is obligated to be that reminder. It's your choice and yours alone, and neither choice is wrong.

I know I contributed to the pain you're feeling with my comments on that post, and I apologized in a general sense for what I said, but I want to respond to you personally. I am truly sorry. My boyfriend suffered physical and emotional abuse for many years from his ex wife, and I know all too well how biased the world is against men who have been abused. They're not always taken seriously (especially when their abusers are women) and there aren't as many resources for them, and that's a huge problem.

It's heartbreaking that you're ashamed. I'm not going to tell you how you should feel because that's just wrong, but you aren't the one who deserves to have that feeling. I hope you have a trusted confidante (or better yet, a trained therapist) with whom you can share what you went through (and are still going through), because I can tell you that it helps A LOT.

Lots of people of both sexes have been abused, including lots of people who comment on this site. You're not alone. You are strong and you can deal with this, and you will get healthy in your own time. I hope to see you back again here when you're ready. Take care of yourself.

Danzig!

@jen325 Thanks, and it's okay. I'll come back soon, I just need time

PistolPackinMama

@Danzig! Oh my sweet jesus, I missed that. I am glad I missed that because...

Bonne Chance on your 'Pinbattical, and be well. <3

BosomBuddy

Is anyone dissertating? Sitting in an office until the late afternoon? Teaching a class even later in the afternoon/early evening on the Friday before Labor Day?

Pop Pop

@BosomBuddy YES. Well dissertation prospectusing. And freaking out about getting money to do the research. UGH.

BosomBuddy

@Pop Pop I hate applying for money and it sneaks up on me every fall and all I can think is: "O HAI!"

katiethegreat

@BosomBuddy I am dissertating! It is 7pm here but I am NOT ALLOWED to go home until I write the conclusion to this chapter. (Instead, however, I am procrastinating all over this open thread).

BosomBuddy

@katiethegreat Congratulations on finishing that chapter! I am just starting my first one.

Pop Pop

@BosomBuddy Yeah, mine's more of a "OH SHIT" but I get what you mean :)

katiethegreat

@BosomBuddy Thanks! It feels pretty good to be done with it :). Good luck with yours!

geek_tragedy

@BosomBuddy

Hells yes I am! And I'm late on my RAship project. And I have a million stupid article things to do. Oh, and I'm in London, my fave city ever, and doing less fun stuff because DEADLINES.

Oh, woe is me! woe, woe woe! (Jokes. I'm fine. but I like complaining/pretending to myself that my diss. is eating my life.)

social theory

@BosomBuddy i, too, am dissertating. currently doing my qual analysis, so my prospectus is (for the time being) completely irrelevant and i am swimming in field notes. good luck and good vibes to you all. i took today off, but i will be working this weekend.

eiffeldesigns

I had a third date with a gentleman this week! And FOURTH DATE is tonight! And FIFTH DATE is already planned for Monday. We are going to the beach. I've not had even a third date in forever, so dates 4 & 5 are exceptional. I think I like this one. He's smart. And funny. And really, really good with the sexy times. Like, really good.

And I had a horribly awkward first date with a new guy last night. Luckily I had the "I have to get home and let the dog out" excuse. Yikes. He spent the entire time talking about how he had to have his last girlfriend committed.

And, sorry, this is long, but I'm also a horrible, horrible friend and dog watcher. I came home from bad date, ordered a pizza, and promptly fell asleep on my couch- forgetting that I had to take out my neighbor's dogs for their night time pee. I didn't realize I'd forgotten to do it until 9 this morning. Ugh. I feel so horrible. I sent a major apology email but have not heard back from the neighbor yet. I feel like such a jackass.

noodge

@Kirs HOORAY on your splendid serial dates!!! fingers crossed things continue to go well!

(and as a person often called to petsit, I also have forgotten at least twice to take the dogs out because of fatigue or other life situations, so... yes you will feel awful but rest assured others have blazed this path for you already :-) )

dj pomegranate

@Kirs ALL THE LIKES to serial happy dates!!!!

harebell

@Kirs He had his last girlfriend committed?!

I mean... he's not even next of kin. What?

(and congrats for the very different happy date!)

LacunaKale

Okay, so my glossybox tracking says that it transferred to the post office here 3 days ago. And it still hasn't come. I'm annoyed (And slightly suspect my downstairs neighbors of theft, because they have been a giant pain this week, and they suck).

On a completely different topic, I came home to find the cat sitting facing the wall with her head on the baseboard heater. She must have been in time out. This is what happens to biters.

Xanthophyllippa

YOU GUYS I really miss having grandparents. Partly because of the lovely How To Live Practically Forever post the other day and partly because I've been playing with some family history stuff and now have a picture of my grandparents from 1937, as they were about to flee Nazi-occupied Europe. It makes me sad I never knew my grandfather and never learned enough of my grandmother's language to really talk to her.

Also, one of my FB friends is a gay guy who votes Republican, thinks Romney/Ryan are da bomb, and is a climate change denier.

whimsy

@Xanthophyllippa
Wait, How does that political association even happen?

Your grandparents sound amazing.... I hope you find some other cool life things about them in your family history search!

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@whimsy: Flagellation can actually feel comfortable after a while, when you have convinced yourself you deserve it.

Xanthophyllippa

@whimsy @ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS I know, right? I want to reach through the screen, grab him by the neck, and shake some sense into him.

And yeah, I'm now totally in love with my grandparents. Smart, brave people.

mustelid

BALTIMOOOOORE

If you are looking for something to do tonight, may I recommend the Baltimore Bike Party? Nice slow fun bike ride, about 12-13 miles with several stops to rest/drink, then an after party in the Wyman Park Dell with food trucks and a DJ!

Moonlight Madness Baltimore Bike Party!

sazarac

@mustelid I wanted to go, but my bike is out of town. They rode by while I was making a booze run and everyone was hooting and it looked like a lot of fun!

RK Fire

@mustelid: WAIT! Are you there! Are you involved with Bikemore? Do I actually know you in real life because you are a friend of a friend?? o_O

p.s. I get invited to the Bikemore/Bike party stuff but I never attend because I have not actually mastered riding a bike. :( Also, I spent two hours today lifting.

p.p.s. I just realized that you said that it ends/has ended in Wyman Park Dell! I live close to there. Nooo... I am all sweaty and tired from the weightlifting. :( I will try to pay more attention to the next FB invite I get to a bike party.

mustelid

@RK Fire I sometimes go to the Bikemore happy hours, that's about as involved as I am. I'm a friend of Chris Merriam, he lives in my hood. And I went to college with Brian O'Doherty, one of the guys who helps organize the Bike Party. We have probably met, or at least been close to it...

Also, if you're worried about not being able to keep up or anything like that, don't let it stop you! We had 722 riders on Friday, of all different levels (even kiddies!). We go slow, we take lots of stops. When the unfortunate but inevitable flats/wipeouts happen, people will stop and help. Lots of people bring pumps and patches, but it's always a good idea to bring a spare tube even if you're not quite sure what to do with it. The most important thing is to be comfortable enough on your bike that you can ride predictably, i.e. in a fairly straight line and without stopping abruptly.

See you next month? Eh? Eh???

RK Fire

@mustelid: Hahahahaha you know Chris Merriam? Of course you do. I'm starting to wonder at this point, who doesn't know Chris?

So, actually, I don't have a bike nor can I ride predictably as you define (or as many people define). However, I am generally supportive of all of the bike-friendly so yay Bikemore. :D

romastrega

Ladies of the Pin, I have a hair question.
Who here makes/uses their own shampoo rather than buying fancy brands? Does it work? How does your hair look/feel?
I have super thick,wiry,wavy,dry hair and I need to try something new to try to tame this mess.
Thanks in advance for help/advice!

withatwist

@romastrega I don't shampoo my hair. Ever. My hair sounds a lot like yours. I get my hair wet most days, comb it out, and apply conditioner. I use product about twice a week and every 7-10 days I make a little paste out of baking soda and water and use that to break down product build-up without stripping my hair of the good oils. My hair is so much healthier and more predictable than it was four years ago, when I shampoo'd all the time. I know some people also do a vinegar rinse to help seal their hair/ make it shiny.
I can tell you what products have worked for me but curly hair is especially hard to figure out. I have a good friend from college with similar-looking hair but we often find that a product that works terribly for me is great for her. Go to Sephora and ask them for allll the samples.

Girl Named Jack

@romastrega I do. I use baking soda solution to wash, vinegar solution to condition, every other day or every third day, depending on how sweaty I've gotten in the interim. I have sort of fine-ish straight hair that gets oily like whoa, and a scalp that gets all itchy with regular shampoo. The baking soda/vinegar thing makes my hair seem thicker somehow? And also the itchy has completely stopped.

The only downside is that the vinegar smell stays until your hair is dry. So, sometimes I use a natural-ish conditioner instead, if I suspect that my post-shower activities might involve some sexytimes before my hair dries, because I'm pretty sure apple cider vinegar is the least sexy smell ever. Well, bottom 25th percentile, at least.

romastrega

@withatwist Thank you! Baking soda & water sounds exactly how easy I want to go!

Megasus

@romastrega It sounds like some olive oil for conditioning might not be a bad idea either!

Inkling

@romastrega
Baking soda paste, water rinse, vinegar rinse, towel dry all the waaaaay. Don't rinse out the vinegar. You will be a beautiful baking soda goddess ASAP.

noodge

hi everyone! i miss you tons, but it's been such a crazy/awful/great month and i'm finally in the "fuckitall" stage of my wedding planning and have made some big spiritual breakthroughs and just wanted to drop in and say MWAH! xoxoxox

fondue with cheddar

@teenie HI TEENIE! I'm glad for the great, and the crazy and awful will be over soon!

Uncommon Hussy

So my asshole ex-umfriend who I dumped when I found out he was lying to both me and the girlfriend I didn't know he had sent me yet another facebook message about how sad he feels that I won't talk to him and how mean I am for making him feel like shit. I realize I should probably just ignore him, and that resenting him is probably taking energy out of my relationship with the lovely and honest new guy I am seeing.

But... somehow I just can't shake the idea of being able to say Just the Exact Right Brilliantly Cutting Thing that makes him realize exactly what an asshole he's been and how wrong the way he acted was and just how badly he fucked up and what he's missing out on and blah blah blah blah.... And then I realize how pathetic it is that I even care about that asshole and then.... Argh.. How do I get over it and break this stupid cycle?

Danzig!

@Uncommon Hussy can you block him?

dabbyfanny

@Uncommon Hussy Ignoring completely, and blocking, is the only way to go. Any response will only encourage more interaction than you need. The impulse to say something will fade.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@Uncommon Hussy: Yeah you just gotta block him. He's really a black hole for energy, you can't really epiphany him if he's not open to the idea.

WaityKatie

@Uncommon Hussy Reply UNSUBSCRIBE. Then block.

Megasus

@Uncommon Hussy I would say GOOD and then block, but I am a huge bitch.

mysterygirl

@Uncommon Hussy : If you can stay strong and ignore him, that will be much more powerful than anything you can say. Trust me on this. I managed to pull it off with one man and I know it affects him to this day (which, it probably wouldn't do otherwise) because he'll reach out to me every six months or so just to see if this will be the time I respond. I know it's so hard, but try to ignore him. Words will only draw you into a bad dialogue where you feel bad *and* lose the upper hand. Silence is your Cutting Riposte; silence is your victory. (heehee, hope that was sufficiently dramatic)

Lyesmith

@Uncommon Hussy Your ex-umfriend is a total shitbag, but in this case, it's probably best to ignore him. People like that often see any response (negative or positive) as a continuation of your involvement with them rather than the snappy last word you mean it to be. And it sounds like his head is buried far enough up his ass that nothing you can say will grant him the self-awareness he sorely needs. I mean, do you think it's likely he'll realize what a jerk he is - or will he continue to whine about the sads you caused by calling him out, and blaming you for it? Silence can be the best last word, sometimes. So can unfriending!

Xanthophyllippa

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS I LOVE "epiphany" as a transitive verb. You're brilliant!

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@Xanthophyllippa: Look for my new show "EPIPHANY'D" this fall!

Xanthophyllippa

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS TOTALLY watching that.

JaneDoe

@Lyesmith Silence will fall, when the question is asked, the most important question. Why haven't you blocked him yet? *I am so sorry, I've been bingeing on Doctor Who this summer.

whateverlolawants

I'm working every day except Sunday! But I get time and a half on Monday, AND an extra day's pay that week, so it's good.

My friend won a party at the local Howl at the Moon, so I'll show up to that tonight, even though I hate that stupid place. Anyone else with me on that? I didn't even think the place was that cool when I managed to get into one during the more-easily-impressed underage years.

In beauty news, I took the CHI plunge -- teal snakeskin with matching wristlet! $99 at Beauty Brands! I also got my Julep box. Still deciding how I feel about the colors and the mascara- it's so different from my usual Falsies. But I really love how the polish goes on and wears. If anyone wants to sign up for Julep's monthly Maven box, I'll give you my code. I know I talk about it a lot, but I promise I'm not a spammer or guerilla rep or what-have-you. :-)

Have a great weekend, Pinners! :-) Talk to some empty chairs for me.

noodge

oh, and i was harassed last night REALLY BADLY - large group of men, doing some road work at 10pm. I was by myself, they were howling and grabbing crotches, and wondering what i wanted from them etc etc... then one dude started stomping quickly after I'd walked past, like he was CHASING ME and I just about crapped my pants while they laughed. It was then that I noticed the company truck next to me, and I put the number in my phone. I called today, and explained the situation, and was apologized to profusely, assured that all the men would be formally reprimanded. Small victories?

SarahP

@teenie Good for you for reporting this! That is totally out of line, and I hope they get a lot of trouble for it.

eiffeldesigns

@teenie I'm so glad you reported these jerks. I am so horrified that this shit still happens. But YEAH on you for being 1) Brave; and 2)Calling them on their shit!

Megasus

@teenie that is so, so scary, but I'm glad you reported it!

dj pomegranate

@teenie Ugh, good for you for calling them on it (literally!) And UGH WHY do people think that is FUNNY IT IS NOT FUNNY IT IS HARASSMENT.

HeckYes

I haven't eaten lunch yet because like 10 people are in the break room making steamed pork buns (why????) and I can't really get in there to heat up my lunch. So I think I'll just go home early instead, hooray!

celeec4@twitter

@HeckYes But steamed pork buns are sooo goooood. That's...maybe the answer to your why? :D

Mon aeroglisseur est plein d'anguilles

Hi! Regular commenter using a different username here.

I have these really good friends who are engaged. Recently, one of them expressed concerns that she's being emotionally abused by her fiancee. Not long after, the abusive fiancee asked me to be a bridesmaid.

I don't think my friend will go through with the wedding unless things improve, but I still feel weird about having agreed to be a bridesmaid.

Any helpful advice in this situation?

Jennifer Culp

@Mon aeroglisseur est plein d'anguilles Talk to your friend on her own, when abusive fiancee isn't around to interrupt. Tell her that, in light of what you've discussed re: emotional abuse, you don't feel comfortable about being a bridesmaid without discussing it with her. (I personally think that it's weird that the fiancee asked you to be a bridesmaid, not your friend. Are you standing with the friend, or the fiancee?) Let your friend know (tactfully!) that she has your support if she decides not to go through with the wedding. You don't want her to think that you endorse it wholeheartedly because you've agreed to be in the wedding party. Then, if I were you, I'd butt out unless (until?) she comes to you. And remember, you have no obligation to be a part of the wedding. If you don't support it, perhaps you should back out of the bridesmaid commitment regardless of what your friend chooses to do. Whatever you do, though, I think it's imperative that you let her know that you're in her corner.

sarantium@twitter

So, I got stomach flu the night before my end-of-internship presentation (which was supposed to be this morning)? And haven't been able to eat food in about 24 hours? And also have to pack up and move tonight? And get to the grocery store to get my father's birthday present (local beers not sold in the state where he lives)?

on the other hand: I am wearing glitter lipgloss and it is pretty great.

Ophelia

@sarantium@twitter Ugh, honey. I've been there (minus the presentation). All I can say is get some Pedialyte ice pops, eat as many as you can, and hope for the best, even if that means throwing all your stuff in trash bags and paying a stranger to load them in your car. And maybe take your dad out for a beer next week instead.

Jennifer Culp

Hey, people who like jewelry and nerdy stuff! I bought some fantastic affordable stuff here last week, and am very very pleased with it. I'm wearing the three Windwaker pearls of the Goddesses on stacked chains right now. I reluctantly took the Portal earrings off, because they looked sort of weird together. I'll save my Portal-themed outfit for tomorrow.

Holden Cauliflower

@Jennifer Culp
These are amazing and super affordable! Thanks for taking care of like, 90% of my Christmas shopping list for this year.

TheDragon

My roommate's beagle is teaching my dog really bad habits. (Barking furiously at any car/person who passes, knocking over the trash, chasing cars, etc?) Anyway I can negate these?

Ophelia

@Dragon Urgh, unfortunately, I think you've got to train the beagle (since s/he's the instigator).

If yours is only just starting to pick these habits up, you can squirt him on the butt with a stream of water from a spray bottle when he does one of those things (it's just surprising/uncomfortable enough that they stop what they're doing and look at you like, "whaaa?"). I'm not sure that's a long-term solution, though...is it within budget to spend an hour with the beagle and a dog trainer?

TheDragon

@Ophelia Unfortunately, it is not, due to the extra semester I now have to pay for. But I had pretty good luck training my pup, so maybe I could try. (Both of my roommate's dogs are totally untrained, and I kind of hate it.)

beanie

@Dragon your dog is falling in with a bad crowd! Next thing you know it will be sneaking cigarettes and alcohol.

JK, but I have to forewarn if you try to train someone else's dog, it won't do much unless they reinforce it as well. So hopefully your roommate is cool with that and follows along. Also, people are highly sensitive if someone acts like their dog is "bad" (including myself in this category). Tread lightly and with tact (I have about zero, so I feel the need to spread the word).

ps. once a friend's gf spanked my dog infront of me. Whattt??? Not cool.

Megasus

@Dragon I am lucky in that usually when I watched my sister's dog she picked up Darwin's good habits. All you can really do is train them BOTH that this behaviour is not OK.

laurel

@Dragon: How would your roommate react to a suggestion that you embark on a dog training regimen together? I have had two deaf dogs, both of whom liked to chase people along my fence, barking. I had to buckle down and really consistently correct them (which meant, in their cases, going to the dog since they couldn't hear me yell at them from the house, getting their attention, doing the "no" hand signal, and bringing them back into the house).

Now, she (the other one has since died) will sit at the fence and observe passersby but not react. If she gets super excited (by lots of people at once, people jogging with dogs, etc.) she'll give one bark and then come running inside. Progress!

The key has been to be super consistent and interrupt and correct the behavior every time I observe it. Then bring the dog to a new location, ask her to sit, and praise her for doing the good thing. Kind of a bother at first, but it's working and I hardly ever have to do it now. With two dogs with two separate owners, you'd kind of have to agree to both do it I think.

TheDragon

@beanie Exactly. I kind of doubt that she will reinforce it, and I don't know her well enough to bring it up.

Ophelia

@Ophelia Oh, also, when you see one of those situations coming (you can manufacture them to practice*), give your dog something else you want him to do when, say, a car goes by. So, teach him the command "watch" (which you can do by using a treat as a lure the first few times - hold it up by your eyes and he'll look at you), and every time a car goes by, tell him, "Watch," and if he looks at you, not the car, give him a treat. After a while you can give the treats sporadically instead.

We did this with my dog b/c he wanted to bark at every. single. dog we passed - the other day, a dog was walking towards us, and he sat down and looked at me instead, even without the command. I was pretty much blown away.

*for example, we want our dog to sit in his bed when someone comes in the door (instead of running over, jumping on them, and barking his head off like he would prefer), so whenever people come over, we have them come in a few times until he sits in bed, at which point he gets a treat from the person who came in, and is happily praised by everyone.

Springtime for Voldemort

School started this week!

-I am in a class called "Gender, Genocide, and Mass Trauma". It's going to be a very interesting downer.

-I cannot tell if I think one of my professors is cute, or skeevy. It's probably both.

-Almost all of my professors have banned laptops. This means I now have to go through the hassle of waiting to get in to see the disability people, begging them to give me the exceptions my doctor actually recommended instead of playing doctor themselves, and open myself up to any stigmatizing I may encounter from effectively announcing to the class with my laptop, "hey! I've got a disability!".

-A couple professors also do not seem to understand the difference between "a couple of studies have said that, on average, students who use laptops often use them to goof off, while a couple other studies have said differently" with "science has proven that students only ever goof off on laptops, and that everyone learns better handwriting notes anyway".

-I will probably, hopefully, have many opportunities this semester to try various history things out and see if I would like or hate doing them as a career. Yay!

-My best friend moved back to town, which is not school related, just awesome.

beanie

@papayalily banning laptops is annoying. I take all my notes for school on laptops (I'm a really slow writer by hand!) so it sucks that people goofing off had to ruin it for you. Hope it works out!

sarantium@twitter

@papayalily oh my god I hate profs who ban laptops. I had one last term that wanted us to write out procedures for labs by hand. The lab notebook -- which was about 80% procedures -- was about 150 pages typed. Um, how about no?

celeec4@twitter

@sarantium@twitter I kiiiiind of understand banning it in lectures, given how many people I saw just using them to goof off. However, it makes no sense to force people to write out protocols by hand. I personally prefer a rough draft by hand, since for whatever reason, its easier for me to find mistakes that way...but typed copies are so much better as references in lab!

sarantium@twitter

@celeec4@twitter I have severe arthritis, so banning laptops is just going to mean I don't take notes. (Actually, it means I am going to be very cranky at the deans until I can have my laptop in class, but. You know.)

But look, if I am willing to TeX out your seven-independent-variable-error-propagation, let me do so! I assure it, IT IS NOT EASIER THAN HAND-WRITING (for people sans arthritis).

Springtime for Voldemort

@celeec4@twitter I've known a lot of professors who ban not laptops themselves, but inappropriate laptop use and goofing off. This seems a much better solution; it gets rid of the actual problem (goofing off) while letting those who do benefit from taking notes on laptops ensure they can get as good a grade as possible. And it is more disability/neurodiversity friendly - you let those who learn differently, but who don't necessarily qualify for a disability exception, or who can't afford to pay for the testing to get the exemption, or who don't want to open themselves up to the stigma, still take care of themselves in the classroom.

Xanthophyllippa

@sarantium@twitter @papayalily

I'm one of those hated profs who bans laptops. This is my general classroom rule. But it is also my general professional rule that if a student comes up to me after class and says, "Would it be okay for me to use my laptop to take notes?", I say yes. Because 1. the folks who just want to screw around on Facebook during class aren't going to call attention to themselves by asking, and 2. the folks who have a legit reason should be allowed to use their laptops upon request, without me demanding to see reams and reams of certifications.

So maybe what y'all really mean is, "I hate profs who won't acknowledge that I have a legit reason even when I bring the documentation in?" Because most of us aren't responding to inconclusive studies when we establish a blanket ban on laptops; we're responding to the very real experiences we've had with students using computers for non-class purposes. And I don't actually know anyone - anyone - who has told a student no if the student makes a point of asking.

Besides, any professor who responds to your legit request with, "No, you can't do that, who cares about your obstacle/disability?" is truly a dick. You'll end up hating their class for multiple reasons.

Springtime for Voldemort

@Xanthophyllippa "So maybe what y'all really mean is, "I hate profs who won't acknowledge that I have a legit reason even when I bring the documentation in?"" Sort of? We're supposed to show the documentation to the disability center, and then show the disability center's orders to comply with federal law to the professor; I've never shown my actual doctor's note to a professor. All the professors I've asked for exceptions while waiting for the disability office have been Oh-fended that I would ask for such special snowflake treatment from them (one even got so mean I ended up crying), so I've pretty much stopped asking. Should I start again? I had been under the impression that was not such an option, but good for you for having it be an option in your classroom.

And I actually get the real-life experience, and respect it more. Not entirely, because I think sometimes there's a tendency to remember the student who Facebooked over the ones who took notes, which is fairly common human thing, but I actually really get it (while also thinking that maybe if my professors adopted a more sink-or-swim policy, we'd actually earn our reputation...). It's more that it bums me out when they use both science that doesn't exactly exist, and a poor understanding of science (see the phrase "science has proven", statistical trends not being the same as human biology, etc) that makes me sigh and go "really??".

Xanthophyllippa

@papayalily Good LORD, what kind of person would be mean in response to a request for accomodation? Those are the folks that make professors look bad. Get rid of your professors; seriously, they are revolting dicks.

I'm sorry you had to put up with that kind of cruelty from people who should know better. If I didn't know you'd had that experience, I'd say yes, start asking again so you don't have to play catch-up on what you missed/couldn't write down while waiting. But given that you've been screwed in the past, I guess I'd say, ask again based upon your read of the professor. If they seem pretty open, then yeah; if they seem like a tool already, then maybe ask someone else in the class if you can photocopy their notes (or whatever) in the interim? Does the disability center have recommendations that they can give you for what to do while you wait?

Ugh. I'm soooo sorry. I want to come to your school and hug you and take notes for you (and/or read them into an mp3 for you) and smack those professors with a flank steak.

celeec4@twitter

@papayalily That seems like a much friendlier way of going about all this than a straight-up ban of laptops. Also...I guess my age is kind of showing, buuuut, laptops in lecture halls were still kind of a novelty when I was in undergrad. Being in mostly science classes that often required scribbling down a diagram of some sort probably also discouraged a lot of laptop usage.

sarantium@twitter

@Xanthophyllippa yes, but it is Not Obvious which profs will be like "sure, whatever", and which ones will be like "show me your last six doctor's reports saying you have artritis and also you must swear to never check your email even when you're bored out of your mind and also I will totally complain at you at length about how accessible I'm making the class by letting you use a laptop should you ask for any other accommodations". I have been known to put myself in severe pain because I so badly wanted to avoid having to justify why I needed to not-hand-write.

Not that I speak from experience, or anything.

Springtime for Voldemort

@Xanthophyllippa Yeah, by the time I found out that the professor who made me cry was horrible (in SO MANY WAYS), it was beyond the drop & all your money back period. But you are correct - the professors who are inflexible are horrible in many other ways, and I try to avoid them. Unfortunately, at New School, it's much much more common to ban laptops than at Old School, so I sometimes have to take them anyway. But I will start asking them again! And you sound like an awesome professor, and if you come to my school, I would take your class.

@sarantium@twitter ugggh professors who give you one exception and then bitch about it for the rest of time!! I had one who would let us use laptops, but we had to look up constantly and make eye contact to prove that we were listening (which was fine, except she was looking for more of a 5 minutes of sustained eye contact, not a few seconds of looking up several times a minute), and after she bitched about laptops so much for several classes, I went up and asked "would you like to see my notes? Would that help?" and moved to show them to her. She said no and waved the computer away, and then proceeded to bitch at me for 5 more minutes about how we all just use them to buy stuff on eBay anyway. (Also on my list of Worst Professors for many many reasons; when it came time for evaluations, I called her "the poster child for the case against tenure".)

Springtime for Voldemort

@celeec4@twitter Yeah, science classes seem like a time when I'd just stop wanting to use a laptop. I might ask for a note-taker for those classes. So far, it's mostly been seminar-style classes where, at most, I need to write down three sentences, and probably more like three words on a piece of scrap paper where I haven't used the laptop (and where I have ZERO issues with professors banning them).

Xanthophyllippa

@sarantium@twitter Well, first off, I'd shut down anyone who was checking email in class regardless of their health/physical condition. It's just plain rude. (Of course, I firmly believe that learning to look interested - or at least not letting on that you're doing something completely different - is a valuable skill to have, especially for jobs that involve endless meetings.)

I know it's Not Obvious, but what I'm saying is, if the person at the front of the room seems like they're an okay sort of gal or guy, give it a whirl. I can also understand, though, that sometimes the trade-off might not be worth the emotional torture; unfortunately I don't have anything useful there.

Overall, I'm absolutely appalled that you've both had this experience. I am especially appalled because I would never treat a student like that, and I am Not A Nice Person. I'm a total hardass. But I also believe firmly that a student shouldn't have to disclose any condition, illness, obstacle, whatever that they're not comfortable talking about - I know from my own issues that it can be humiliating, so all I expect is that my students tell me, "hey, it's medical," or "hey, I've got a personal issue getting in the way of class." It stuns me that there are folks out there who don't show students that respect.

Ugh. I want to hug all of you. And buy you private note-takers.

ETA: @papayalily Heh - I think I drive most of my students batshit (see above re: hardass). But I don't want to talk to my chair/director about what my endocrine issue does to my mental health every so often, so I sure as hell don't want a student to have to talk to me about their issues. Plus I just...don't want to know that much about them.

sarantium@twitter

@Xanthophyllippa if I have to wait ten minutes to wait for a spectrum to finish collecting, and I can't do anything until it does, I am going to check my email. I am a busy person! I also have a chronic illness! I do not actually have ten minute functional periods to waste. If a professor wants to hold that against me, they're welcome to; I don't feel the need to stare at the ceiling because the professor would prefer it.

(In case it wasn't clear, I particularly hate the people who won't let me type in labs. Dear god, you want me to be able to write for four or five hours? NOT HAPPENING. Even if I am doing things I *like*, for fun, I can't write reliably over a four hour period. See also: you expect me to be able to stand and sit down twenty or thirty times in a three hour period for a required-for-everyone-to-graduate lab? ahahahahahahaha. fuck you.)

Springtime for Voldemort

@Xanthophyllippa OMG. People who can't look like they are interested. WHAT EVEN IS THAT??? It did not even occur to me that that was an option until I was a junior in high school and a teacher said "papayalily is one of those students teachers love, because she always looks like she's paying attention, even if she isn't." I recently did volunteer training with a bunch of others, and one woman spent most days on her phone ever 3 minutes and whispering with the woman next to her. I had to keep reminding myself that I am not the politeness police, and to just chill out, and not be so uptight that someone somewhere was being rude, and practice my focusing skills, and do lots of deep breathing.

If you are a total hardass about things like grades, and raising the bar for intellectual contribution, I would probably enjoy that. Right now, I'm really appalled the way they're often like "oh, do you not know 8th grade grammar? Are you completely unable of expressing a coherent thought beyond your weekend plans? That's ok, we'll still make sure you get a C!" It seems like they don't really have high (or perhaps more accurately, appropriate) admission standards, and then once they've let someone in they feel pressure to never let anyone flunk out no matter what so their dropout rates aren't high.

sarantium@twitter

@Xanthophyllippa (also, by "required for everyone to graduate", I do mean *everyone* -- there are disadvantages of going to a university that requires every single student to take a chemistry lab. I'm OK with my five terms of physics lab; those I chose to do. (Also, require less standing and less pretending to be interested in watching a spectrum fill in.) I am not OK with requiring being able to hand write & stand up & sit down for every single student at the university to graduate.)

Xanthophyllippa

@papayalily I WANT YOU TO BE MY STUDENT SO BAAAAAD. You can bring your laptop. And I use lecture capture, so you can also watch class afterward if you needed. And last spring I emailed all the worksheets to one of my students before class so he could do them on his laptop while everyone else was writing. (Unfortunately he did actually spend the semester checking Facebook, but he was one-of-a-kind for other reasons.)

@sarantium@twitter I'm sorry your instructors suck so much. Checking email during 10 minutes of otherwise dead time in lab would be fine by me (because I probably would be checking email too). Checking email in the middle of another student's presentation, which is what I see too often, is not. Again, I'm sorry you're having trouble getting your instructors to take your condition seriously - they need to be slapped.

celeec4@twitter

@papayalily Yeah, science classes. I've offered my notes before to fellow students that needed extra verification for various reasons. Strongly suggest asking for lecture note samples beforehand. Felt really bad when a sick friend returned my notes 5mins after I handed them over, I have pretty nice handwriting, but I didn't realize said friend had issues with basically reading 1.5hr lectures' worth of notes in cursive.

celeec4@twitter

@sarantium@twitter Those rules about laptop in chem lab seem like they're just there to be mean. :\ I don't know how many lab reports would have been easier if I had been typing up the data being spewed out instead of scribbling it in.

I have good handwriting, I swear! Just, trying to jot stuff down while multi-tasking to get shit done sometimes ends poorly.

Springtime for Voldemort

@Xanthophyllippa I WANT TO BE YOUR STUDENT SO BAAAAD. Also, lecture capture?? That sounds badass!

Professor Zero

@papayalily Yeah, I'm with Xanthophyllippa. I, too, ban laptops in seminar classes -- though not in big lectures, where students need to take notes fast and I, frankly, don't have the time or energy to police the behavior of 200+ students. And, yes, I'm not responding to studies, just to my own tedious experience catching students on FB, Twitter, and EVEN PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES when they're supposed to be talking to me and one another.

But who are these fuckers saying "meh" to disability accommodations. I've had students with all sorts of disabilities and I've never once even THOUGHT about not accommodating a reasonable request to use a computer, take extra time on an exam, record lectures, or whatever. Not only is it my legal responsibility; it's my obligation as an educator and human being.

Springtime for Voldemort

@Professor Zero The disability thing is more a timing and disability center issue. They have been... not so much flat out refusing to give me the laptop exception (but the other exceptions were all fine), so much as reluctant, in a sort of stalling, run-around kind of way. (I am less than impressed, especially since I was told that they were known for being awesome with disabilities). So then I don't have the exception to give to professors.

Professor Zero

@papayalily Understood. Maybe your professors are different (I hope not!) but if you were my student, I'd hope you felt free to come and ask for the accommodation while the disability center got their ass in gear.

Srsly! The point is to learn. I ban laptops from seminars 'cos they interfere with learning; I make exceptions when it's to help a student learn. None of this should be hard!

Good luck!

Judith Slutler

You guys I have this amazing flatmate who is the coolest but she's a little clueless about household things (leaves empty packages on the counter, etc, whatevs).

And when she does her laundry, and hangs it up to dry, it doesn't smell clean. It smells musty and funky and nasty and sometimes that old funky smell hangs around her and I feel bad both for noticing + for her because nobody should have to deal with their clothes smelling bad!

What do I do? I don't want to be like "hey you are stanky" and I think she has a small little issue with my Clean Personing, like kind of I out-femme her a little bit by baking and cleaning and things? I am assuming some of you will know what I'm trying to explain here? Anyway I don't want to step on her toes because her laundry is her business, but also I would like to give her some friendly laundry tips. HALP

SarahP

@Emmanuelle Cunt Could you tell a little lie and say that you've noticed when you do your laundry there's kind of a musty smell, you suspect from the washing machine, and you think you found a solution: [insert solution here. vinegar?] Had she ever had the same issue? If so, you totally recommend [your solution. vinegar?].

Oh, squiggles

@Emmanuelle Cunt Hmm. Well, you could do the sneaky/nice thing, offer to do her laundry for her (helps if she has birthday or some gift giving occasion where you could offer this as a treat), and either hope she notices the difference and asks you about it, or casually work into conversation what you like to do to ensure good smelling laundry.

adorable-eggplant

@Emmanuelle Cunt Present of essential oils? (spoiler warning: I'm a dirty hippie who doesn't wear deodorant, but loves pretty smelling things) So maybe you could give her a gift of something like sage oil that could be mixed in with her laundry water? And it wouldn't be soap, per se, so it's not necessarily insulting...

adorable-eggplant

@Awesomely Nonfunctional Glad I'm not the only one who defaults to solve-it-with-gifts.

Xanthophyllippa

@SarahP I like this approach! It could also open the opportunity for a little intelligence-gathering: "I've noticed my laundry smells a bit funky coming out of the machine. What do you think that is?" Because then she could be all, "yeah, mine too! I assumed it was because I'm pre-soaking in greywater and not using detergent."

miss buenos aires

@SarahP I like SarahP's idea... I think framing it as "this is a problem that anyone could have, see?" is very non-judgey-sounding and helpful.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Emmanuelle Cunt The laundry thing might be from waiting too long to take out the laundry from the washing machine. If you leave it for hours, in a dark wet hole, it will smell musty(, she says from experience). Feel free to use my anecdote about the time I left my sheets in the dryer for a week thinking they were fully dry (they weren't!) and I had to wash them twice with vinegar to get the smell out.

phipsi

Does anyone have a legit reason to vote Republican? I'm all ears.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@phipsi: It is interesting, I feel like the Democrats (or really, all other parties) have done a great and sneaky job of continuously pushing the Republicans further and further to the edge, and then taking up the good bits they have to abandon to maintain the crazy. The president gets to be pretty centrist, forcing the GOP to keep backing away towards the cliff face of crazy.

Ophelia

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS AND THAT WAS OUR PLAN ALL ALONG!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Seriously, though, I'm not sure whether the democrats have actually PUSHED the republicans further right, since they seem to be getting there just fine on their own, and they could still have claim over the middle if they didn't capitulate to the fringe, but the point re: picking up the pieces in the center? That's spot on.)

dj pomegranate

@phipsi Am also wondering.

WaityKatie

@Ophelia I mean, is it "pushing" someone when you just kind of stand there while they gleefully trot themselves over to the edge?

phipsi

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS The thing is Republicans are alienating a lot of young voters for years or decades to come, not to mention women and minorities. They day is coming (quickly) that whites will no longer be 50% of the population, and if you can't tap into the votes from people of other races/ethnicities, you're going to be SOL.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@phipsi: Yeah I don't think anyone is pushing. Migrating may be a better word for it.

It is interesting, Lindsey Graham pretty much came out and said 'there's not enough cranky white people to maintain our party' and he is right. Repubs would do *so* much better if they didn't take the social issues bait and kept it about their fiscal and government stuff. But like a racist uncle, it takes the smallest amount of prodding to get them to say something incredibly stupid.

The Republican party is like, 'There some bits of gold in here. But it's surrounded by a bowling ball size chunk of shit. And you have to eat through it to get to the gold'. Sorry, that's a really nasty metaphor, but 'chunk of shit' comes to mind when thinking of the GOP.

PatatasBravas

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS "Republicans: the Party of Racist Uncles" is a pretty good summation these days.

JadedStone

@phipsi
I'm a raging liberal Canadian who spends WAYYYY too much time talking American politics. Mostly I watch the republicans in mild shock.

HOWEVER. Meghan McCain? I could respect the party if there were more Meghan McCain's in it. I mean, LOOK AT THIS SAUCY MINX. She's loud in a good way and pro gay marriage; but, still a republican.

She co-wrote that book "America: you sexy bitch". I actually just heard of her, listening to NPR's ASK ME ANOTHER trivia show where she was a guest.

Springtime for Voldemort

@phipsi Fiscal conservative?? I know my pro-gays, pro-choice cousin is voting Rep, because she's a fiscal conservative. I think if she wasn't such a racist she'd vote Obama because she's not actually an extreme fiscal conservative, she's more of a 'social programs are good, but too many are broken and/or cost too much money' moderate (and apparently libs/Dems don't think broken or outrageously expensive programs are bad, and that so is fraud??), and Obama is really more a moderate conservative at this point than an progressive ideal. But she's hella racist, so that's not going to happen. So in conclusion, Racism: the "legit" reason to vote Republican.

beanie

@JadedStone that's what I don't get about Meghan McCain-how can she still claim (want?) to be a republican when she is pro-gay marriage? And all the terrible/awful things her party says about gay marriage? It's a level of cognitive dissent I don't understand.

phipsi

@papayalily Agreed, I used to think myself really moderate Democrat (read: red state livin' and still ashamed to be a Democrat) but modern Republicans seem to think the only "social program" worth spending money on is the military. I agree that I hate waste and fraud and giant, bloated gov't programs, but I also really like public education, NASA, basic science funding and the gov't continuing to support those programs that have WORKED have made us PROUD and have made America awesome. Plus, I don't understand "ERHMAGERD CUT TEH NPRRRRR" because erhmagerd, let's cut some military spending first and save enough money to support 100 NPRs. Obama is actually discussing a significant amount of budgetary reforms including cuts to military spending, which I think is the responsible thing to do. Romney/Ryan are discussing increasing military spending. #no

Speaking of TEH NPRs and racists, Ari Shapiro interviewed a woman yesterday who said it was time that we had a first lady who "looks like a first lady and acts like a first lady." MMM 'SCUSE ME? WHAT DID YOU SAY?

phipsi

@beanie Again with TEH NPRs, I feel like the Gay Republicans featured in this piece are so, so, so, delusional about the current state of their party.

phipsi

@papayalily I feel like my relatively progressive cousin is also voting Republican for very similar, delusional reasons. It doesn't help that her dad is practically the leader of the Party of Racist Uncles in my family.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@phipsi: As someone who worked in the government contract/military system, you have no idea how much waste and favoritism goes on. It makes all other social programs look like nothing.

JadedStone

@beanie But that's the thing about Meghan Mccain. She argues that gay rights shouldn't even be a party issue. That it's a non-issue because DUH GAY RIGHTS OBVS THEY SHOULD HAVE THEM.
She believes that being a republican doesn't mean being an asshole. It's weird and mind blowing.

Springtime for Voldemort

@phipsi I recently tried to get her to explain her political views, and she said that the only thing Obama's done that she approves of is gay marriage (and when questioned, DADT). She said she likes Rep's because of their stance on foreign policy and economics, and I successfully took a sip of my chai instead of shooting back "oh, so you love what Obama's done with Gitmo? And Osama's remains??", and instead tried to figure out if she approves of the TEA Party anarchist economics or what, to which she replied "We're not Chicago. We're America. They have a lot of shootings." And I realized that it wasn't just that she was racist, it was that her stance actually didn't include anything more than "black people!!!", and changed the subject to the deliciousness of the pancakes.

Oddly, my uncle/her father is really liberal and so much better at the race issues than she is.

celeec4@twitter

@phipsi UHM. OK. So it wasn't just my half-asleep/fevered imagination? Because wow, that was the worst way to wake up to my alarm clock radio ever. Pretty much woke up angry.

TheUnchosenOne

@phipsi In 2012? No.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@phipsi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How could any woman EVER be more First Lady-y than Michelle Obama? Srsly.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@phipsi I thought of this thread when I saw this: "Why I'm a Republican". It seems like mostly they're very superficial and/or illogical, but it's there if you're interested.

Oh, squiggles

Well today(this week) has been a whole crap-ton of frustration and stress. And a lovely three day weekend in which I have a bunch of work to do ahead of me.

So if I survive without giving myself a stress-embolism (that's a thing, right?), should I move to Portland at the end of the year? Also, anyone have any good moving across the country tips?

celeec4@twitter

@Awesomely Nonfunctional Feel your pain re: working through the three day weekend.

Don't know about whether or not you should move to Portland...I do have some tips for moving cross country. (I did a 2k mile move a few years ago.)

Start getting rid of stuff now. Recruit a friend you can swap off on driving with. Everything will cost more than your initial estimates, so include a slush fund in budgeting. Vacuum space saver bags are your friends. Reach out to friends/friends of friends for local knowledge on place you are planning to move to. :) Hope this helps.

dale

@Awesomely Nonfunctional What would the reasons for/against Portland be? To move closer to family, friends, to go to school, to get away from a toxic situation & reboot yourself, ...?

All of my gigantic moves happened when I was a wee person so I don't have any long-distance tips as my parents were doing all the organizing. :-/

Oh, squiggles

I am currently living where I am to go to school. Not in love with the area, and I don't want to move home when I graduate at the end of the year. So I thought Portland would be a nice place to start fresh. I have never been though, so I am not sure what it is really like there.

dale

@Awesomely Nonfunctional I can ask an Internet Acquaintance who lives there. I think he's only there because of his job, but would rather be in Seattle, but if you want details (housing costs, job market, traffic, etc) I can certainly pose the question to him!

professionalmess

@Awesomely Nonfunctional I moved cross-country the short way, but I feel the advice is the same either way:

If you are anything like me, you have way more stuff than you think, so get rid of some/get the bigger moving truck.

Driving a long way is the worst. It is the worst worst to do all the driving yourself. It is the worst worst worst to do all the driving yourself while you're mad at your boyfriend/girlfriend/"driving partner" for sleeping instead of driving/entertaining you.

Probably some things will break or get messed up. Do your best to protect the most important (monetarily or sentimentally) and try not to dwell on the stuff that is messed up, or you'll be typing a message on The Hairpin in 2 years and still be bitter about the marks on your desk.

Oh, squiggles

Thanks for the replies and advice!

@dale any details you can glean from your Internet Acquaintance would be greatly appreciated!

dale

@Awesomely Nonfunctional Ok, I hope you check back in, as I got you a response!
"The rental market has gotten much tighter over the last few years as the housing market has dropped. Doing some very rough math, it looks like prices have gone up ~10-15% in a lot of units. I'm currently living in a two bedroom apartment that runs ~$1100 a month including all of the utilities, but I've also gotten lucky and haven't had a significant increase in costs over the last three years (the rental company must like the fact that I'm one of the few people in my complex to have not moved during that time). However, if you're willing to live further from the center of the city, prices decrease fairly swiftly.
I live in SE Portland and like it a lot. It's relatively quiet, my commute is super-easy and it't not terribly expensive. There are a few parts of the city that might be a bit sketchier (anywhere too close to 82nd Ave, for instance), but mostly it's really low crime.
The job market is... not the best... We've bounced back from almost double the national unemployment rate to simply matching it, but things are still fairly tight. What field does your friend want to work in? Traffic can be bad if you need to drive on the major highways during rush hour (especially for people who live in the burbs but work in Portland), but if you can bike or take slightly less well-used paths, it's not too bad.
Personally, I'm just fine with the weather, but that's because I grew up in Seattle. If you're used to a sunnier climate, the clouds can get pretty depressing, even if it doesn't rain as constantly as people seem to think (I rarely needed rain gear for commuting over the last year, as I could usually find a gap in the rain to scoot through). On the upside, it rarely gets below freezing or much above the high-80s, so it's generally just pleasant. Which describes most of Portland. The food is great, the people are generally rather nice, and we're incredibly close to both the mountains and the sea (~1-2 hour drive in either direction).
Besides the job market, the only other potential downside is the distinct lack of diversity. Portland is the whitest major city in America, so if you're not white it could be a bit more uncomfortable place to live. There are a few parts of the city that are more diverse (parts of NE and N Portland, the areas around Intel), but it's really Whitey McWhite town."

What kind of work will you be looking for? He might be able to give a more specific answer about the job market if we know what field you're after.

Oh, squiggles

@dale Okay, that doesn't sound too bad.

As for work, I am a graphic artist. So I could do all kinds of digital art production. Also, 3d modeling, specifically for animation. My concentration has been animation for a while, so I would prefer to pursue that. But also I would be willing to work at doing a bunch of things, because I can pursue my own work in my own time, and eventually (hopefully) be self producing from home.

See the diversity thing is kind of a bummer, because I like diversity. But as long as it's not Whitey McWhite town because of racism, I think I would be okay?

darklingplain

I made the coolest recipe yesterday. It's a two ingredient chocolate mousse, just chocolate and water, and it's amazingly fluffy and delicious, although maybe not as rich as normal chocolate mousse.

It only takes ten minutes to make and it's super impressive looking--chocolatey water turning into mousse!

Oh, squiggles

@darklingplain details please! this sounds intriguing!

darklingplain

@Awesomely Nonfunctional There are several recipes online, but this is the one I used: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/03/herve-this-chocolate-chantilly-recipe.html

Basically you boil water, melt chocolate in it, put the bowl of chocolate-water in another bowl full of ice water, and whisk until it thickens into mousse. If you over beat and it gets too thick you can just remelt and try again. I can also imagine a whole world of flavor additions--I think next time I'll use hot coffee instead of plain water.

sweetclementine

@darklingplain Thank you for posting that link! I can't wait to try that this weekend

darklingplain

@sweetclementine Let me know how it turns out!

RK Fire

Calling all NFL loving Pinners!

Does the advent of fall fill you with glee? Have you been counting down the weeks all summer? Do you enjoy watching football games, even if it doesn't involve your favorite team? If so, you may be interested in the Pinners' Pigskin Pick'em league!

It's very simple! All you have to do is log in each week, and pick which teams you think will win out of the 15 games that will be taking place each week. You do not have to be well versed in football. We don't plan on being competitive. This is just to make football watching a little more.. interesting.

We don't have any prizes yet for the winner of the league.. other than bragging rights.

Let me know if you have any questions!

Baby Fish Mouth

@RK Fire Wait, it may be because I'm trying to multitask but what is the password? I would LOVE to join because my usual confidence league went up to $20 and has way too many people in it.

candybeans

@RK Fire Goddamn, i love football. i wish i had a tv so i could watch the games! Maybe this will become my single-lady hobby--going to sports bars alone and getting back into football? I feel like that idea has some flaws.

entangled

@RK Fire wait, something involving hairpin AND football? am there!

laurel

@RK Fire: Eeeeep.

@candybeans: I think that idea has 0 flaws! Also, I'm considering spending the $40 for this because I hate commercials and don't care if I don't see the games live.

entangled

@Wiscowhitney it's asking me for the password as well...

whimsy

@RK Fire
Password? I am so in!

laurel

@laurel: Also, I like to knit while watching footy. If there was some way of integrating the Hairpin Ravelry group with the 'Pinners Pick'em League, my Sunday life might come together in a seamless field of gridiron and knitfuckery (I am a terrible, n00bknitter).

area@twitter

@RK Fire Holy shit, yes. I am all over this.
@laurel And goddamn, I was talking just LAST NIGHT about how football is going to be my new crochet/knitting time! AW YEAH.

double paw?

@RK Fire yes! excited to do this! i was thinking about seeing if anyone would want to do a fantasy league but this is even better/more inclusive

RK Fire

@all: Sorry sorry sorry! The password is: Pinners1

Also I'm glad you're all excited about this! :D :D :D

Baby Fish Mouth

@RK Fire Awesome! PS - fun tip I just discovered. If you go to edit your profile you can set a weekly reminder email! If you're anything like me you'll completely forget until kickoff...

laurel

@RK Fire: Aarg, I managed to register twice somehow? Sorry!

RK Fire

@Wiscowhitney: That reminds me, I should really do my picks tonight..

@laurel: no worries! I'm sure there's a way to deal with it.

RK Fire

@laurel: I think I can delete one of your entries. Would you like me to do that?

laurel

@RK Fire: Hmm, I thought I'd figured it out but maybe not. I deactivated one account and now it's telling me neither profile is available? I'll let the servers refresh and see what's up.

RK Fire

@laurel: It seems like one of your accounts is till there. I'll check it tomorrow and let you know.

Also, my husband wanted to join, so he's there too. I hope you guys don't mind!

laurel

@RK Fire: Hi, it looks like both are still there. Feel free to delete the one with the 2 after it. If it deletes both somehow, I'll make a new account. Thanks!

RK Fire

@laurel: Done!

Bittersweet

@RK Fire So excited! And, I would like to say, in the nicest, most respectful way possible, that I will kick all y'all's butts at Pick 'em this fall. Even though I haven't kept up with the trades and don't know who's good this year. /trash talk

RK Fire

@Bittersweet: Hahahahahaha such respectful trash talk! Also the first week is always such a crapshoot.. I haven't kept up with the trades and injury reports either.

katiemcgillicuddy

@RK Fire Hey there commish, I couldn't use katiemcguillicuddy as my user name cause some jerkface already took it (my espn account is under a different name) so can you go ahead and delete that one? I made a new one under katiemguil that I joined with (I think). Thanks!

RK Fire

@katiemcgillicuddy: No worries! I deleted the extra one as you asked.

@ALL: GET YOUR PICKS IN NOW! The season starts in 30 minutes!

AnalogMetronome

FIRST DAY OF GRAD SCHOOL ON TUESDAY AHHHHH

Also my boyfriend is coming to Boston for the first time for the long weekend and I am so excited to show him around! Well, halfassedly show him around, considering that I've only been here a week and a half. AND my 22nd birthday is next Thursday! Excitement all around!

I hope all you wonderful people have some equally wonderful long weekend plans. :)

(PS - Jane, I made a variant of your bean recipe for lunch today and it was delicious, thanks a million!)

Jane Marie

@MademoiselleML OMG you just reminded me to go make it myself. :)

TheLetterL

@MademoiselleML Yay! Are you going on a Duck tour?

AnalogMetronome

@TheLetterL A what tour?! We are not currently planning to do so, but it sounds like that should change!

TheLetterL

@MademoiselleML Duck tour! It's a tour of Boston in a refurbished WWII all terrain assault vehicle...you get to drive around town and then cruise around in the harbor! (If you haven't seen the vaguely tank-looking things rolling through the streets already, you will.) It's about $30 a person, but it's the best way to cover a lot of sites in an hour or so. I did it with some guests who were just around for a day, and it was perfect!

Please note, they will ask you to "Quack." It's a thing.

Here is the site: http://www.bostonducktours.com/

Also: Welcome to Boston!

SarcasticFringehead

Awesome! I used to wear men's shoes all the time in high school, when I assumed my feet were immortal, and then I fell into the mindset of only looking at the women's side of the site. And then I realized that probably in a lot of cases, the men's version is probably either cheaper or better-made.

And so this is where all my overtime earning goes. Worth it? Yes.

TheDragon

Oh also my ex fell off a balcony and doesn't remember me. (Not my EX-ex, but the most recent ex.)
I didn't think this happened in real life.

laurel

@Dragon What?! Like, as in, head-injury amnesia?

TheDragon

@laurel Exactly.

Reginal T. Squirge

Blessing in not-so-hidden disguise? Sorrysorrysorry.

olivebee

@Dragon Oh my gosh. Is it temporary? I hope so. Because yeah, I have never met or known anyone IRL that forgot the people they know, unless it was from Alzheimer's.

JadedStone

@Dragon HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh

BAHAHAHAHAHA

TheDragon

@olivebee Yeah, it sounds scary.
He doesn't remember meeting me, doesn't remember dating me, didn't know if we were still together or broken up.

I feel awful that I do, but I also feel a little relieved.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Dragon
That is some straight-up Channing Tatum/Rachel McAdams shit right there. Wow.

TheDragon

@josiahg I know! Except that we are not gonna fall in love again.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Dragon
Or shut down a street near my house for filming and then make me watch the entire terrible movie to find that scene, but then actually cut it? (Which wasn't very surprising, I mean, my neighborhood is not that photogenic.) Anyway, "wow" for you and your situation.

TheDragon

@josiahg Oh no, we will still shut down your neighborhood.

Danzig!

@Dragon Does he still have feelings for you? Recognition and emotion are processed in different parts of the brain - there's some really trippy neuroscience extrapolated from people with severed corpus callosums - show them a picture of a kitten and cover one eye, they'll feel warmth but won't be able to tell you what they're seeing. Cover the other eye, they'll know it's a kitten but feel nothing for it.

http://brain.oxfordjournals.org/content/123/7/1293.abstract

TheDragon

@Danzig! I don't know if he does or not. I am the one who broke it off, but we didn't date long.

JadedStone

@Dragon LET ME JUST SAY, WITHOUT SUGGESTING ANYTHING...
That it's way easier having amnesia than being a controlling jerk whose gf left him even though he'd told her their life story and having to GROW as a human being as a result.

who wants to learn a life lesson? PFFT. I'll just throw myself from a balcony.

TheDragon

@JadedStone That may have crossed my mind...

KeLynn

@Danzig! woahhhhh

royaljunk

This is the first week in what seems like forever that I don't have to work on Saturday! And I have a week of vacation next week! CATCHING UP ON NAPS AND READING, YAAAAY!!

helloimgreen

so my boy roommate who i think i'm in love with? yeah we went to dinner on a "roommate date" on monday, and honestly you guys, it was way better than any real date i've been on in the last year. but i don't know if he was just being nice because we're roommates and friends, or if this has potential to turn into real dating.

the good news is that my best guy friend is coming to visit next week and roommate is super jealous of him and of our relationship. it sounds horrible, but i want to see roommate's reaction and how he acts while BFF is here. could be interesting.

raised amongst catalogs

@helloimgreen Oh, wow! I can't wait to hear the next installment. Congrats on your "roommate date."

TheDragon

@helloimgreen I agree, good luck and keep us posted! (I get overly involved in internet strangers' love lives.)

darklingplain

Inspired by the Miazaki thread earlier, what are people's thoughts on Howl's Moving Castle? I find myself unable to be objective about it because I love the book so much and was filled with adaption-rage, but even putting that aside, I don't think it was Miazaki's best work by far. I love Kiki and Spirited Away, but Howl's Moving Castle seemed so overly sentimental.

royaljunk

@darklingplain I agree it's probably not his best work, but it's a charming enough movie. I pretty much think of the movie and the book as two separate, tangentially related entities.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@darklingplain: Agreed; I thought it just wandered a lot and wasn't very concise.

Girl Named Jack

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS Thirded.

darklingplain

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS Like...the book didn't have that much action, so I could see needing to change it, but they did all this crap to it and then it still didn't go anywhere.

Audley

@darklingplain I also love the book ardently, so I'm also not the most objective, but the movie didn't do anything for me. There were a lot of aspects that just seemed to have randomly been thrown in and the plot didn't have a satisfactory resolution (I'm still not sure what changed her back to being young. The power of True Love is my best guess).

Bittersweet

@darklingplain I love the book too, and, like royaljunk, think of the book and movie as separate entities. The last third of the movie does wander, but as always with Miyazaki, it is just so visually gorgeous that I have to give it a pass.

Spirited Away is my forever favorite Miyazaki movie, though. Even more so now as my daughter will be Chihiro's age in a few months.

royaljunk

Also if anyone who's gone through a Doctor of Physical Therapy program or something similar has any survival tips for getting through the unholy amount of classes/homework/labs, send them my way! My best friend just started her first semester and she's experiencing major anxiety/burnout/not eating and I'm worried about her and want to help if I can. :(

sarah girl

@royaljunk This might sound trite, but can she make a study group, if she doesn't have one already? My sister-in-law is in a PT program and has been helped SO MUCH by having sympathetic people to meet/study/eat/drink with. They do study slumber parties, where they'll all go to one person's house before a test, get a bunch of junk food and study until really late then carpool to school in the morning. It actually makes it sound fun!

royaljunk

@Sarah H. Yeah, I think part of her issue is also starting a new university and having a hard time making friends in her courses/finding support. But it's also like the 2nd or 3rd week of classes and she's putting a lot of pressure on herself. I'll suggest that to her! Thanks!

JadedStone

UPDATE
You guys were so awesome last week when I was in that slump and I just wanted to let you know that I wrestled it under control.

I also read a thing about dopamine, that sometimes if you're coming off a really great high (weekend away, great party, etc.) that if you're prone to depression you'll basically use up all your happy. Then, your brain can't make enough happy-making quick enough and you slump into depression.

And this is very me? I can't handle seeing friends too often, I feel weird after and exhausted, and I always assumed it was because I was an introvert.

SCIENCE!

Anywhos. Thank you for all the hairpin love. It's the best thing ever.

TheDragon

@JadedStone
I am glad that you are doing better! I've been thinking about you, and wondering what was up!

laurel

@JadedStone: Wow, that is, hmm, very interesting and sounds very familiar.

adorable-eggplant

@JadedStone Good to know! I have a really productive writing day and feel like a million wins, and then the next day....

But now it all makes sense.

Beaker

@JadedStone That's how drugs like methamphetamines work! They cause massive releases and prevention of the re-uptake of dopamine making you feel really good/high and then you come crashing down afterwards.

What's really horrible is that addicts are constantly overstimulating the dopamine receptors in their brain, so much so that it causes the cells to remove some receptors from the surface to avoid such high stimulation. Rehab is particularly horrible because they physically CAN'T feel as good as a regular person because they don't have as many dopamine receptors available anymore! (They can eventually come back, but it takes time).

TL;DR: DON'T DO DRUGS, KIDS

JanieS

@JadedStone Hooray for doing better!

like a rabid squirrel

@JadedStone One of my favorite poets pretty much captured this feeling in a little tiny poem: http://poetry365.tumblr.com/post/404214554/feasting-and-drinking-went-on-far-into-the-night

I'm glad to know science backs it up.

Lyesmith

Holy crap you guys, I'm finally officially eligible to graduate with my Political Science & History degree, got on the Dean's Honor list (but not any of the cool cum laudes thanks to less than stellar first and second-year marks), and I got a $150 bursary! And I'm looking for a job! These are exciting times.

Lyesmith

@Lyesmith And now I have a job interview this Wednesday! Yay!

The Widow Muspratt

I am thinking about going back to school for a Masters degree because my current "career" is making me die inside. The idea of being a poor student and accumulating more debt is freaking me out though.

candybeans

ohhhh ladiesssss (and some gentlemen) i have so many FOT thoughts (those rhyme in my head). I wish i could spend my afternoon watching this thread, because it would do me real good. I am going to do a bit of unloading.
Since i've been missing from comments for much of the past few months (crazy job), most people probably won't remember, but i would frequently pipe in on FOTs with relationshape problems. Well, no more of those, because we broke up on Saturday and I moved out on Sunday. What a good, kind, loving man, but it was overoverover, and i am relieved. There is some lingering sadness, not unlike how I felt when a good friend who was 90 with congestive heart failure passed away. I will miss him, but he was dreadfully uncomfortable and ready to die, and so it was ultimately a goodness.
also, my 90-year-old friend died. I am now living with his widow. It's a pretty good situation.
also, a senior attorney at my firm had a thing for me, and is supes cute, and so i sort of let it be known I felt that way (for the makeouts, really; certainly don't want a new relationshape), and we had some flirtatious meetups at the local bar by the office, with lots of play hitting, etc, but i think maybe i came on too strong, and got a little bit of a could shoulder from him last night. Not in a mean way; in a totally reasonable, fair, thanks-but-no-thanks way. But i saw him in just an undershirt yesterday and LADIESSSSS oh MAN ALIVE his CHEST i want to touch it so so bad. and rub his scruffy face. but i think he could probably tell, and i am so emotionally weird (esp. right now), and have a very hard time not being totally straightforward when I like people, so. Anyone want to give me lessons on how to play just a leeetle bit hard to get? No one likes an easy catch, even if you're all like, "oh, blah blah i don't play games blah." It's icky-feeling when someone comes off as desperate. That's just how humans work. and i'm not that desperate! I'm pretty cute these days! i'm just chronically overeager.
also, a senior attorney made me feel like an idiot yesterday and i have a big fat SAD written all over my face because of it (and the boy thing, though less so that).
also, i have a dress on that makes me look pretty rad. win some, lose some.

Pop Pop

@candybeans So sorry to hear about your relationshape overness! I mean, I'm not familiar with the back story, but getting over a break up is always tough.

Related- I am also chronically overeagar and I don't know how to stop it! Can we form a support group?

Yay for dresses!

remargaret

@candybeans Oh hey breakup thread. Maybe try changing the side you part your hair on? :)

TheDragon

@candybeans I am over eager and AGGRESSIVE as all-get out.
I am sorry to hear about your breakup, but if I remember correctly, it was the type of thing that you just need out of.
I hope things look up, and you get to have lots of sexy times with lots of guys with amazing chests. (Or just a few guys, if that's more your style)

candybeans

@Dragon sure was. sure was indeed. feels mean to say, but it was doing neither of us any favors to keep that particular relationshape alive.
also, nope, I'll take ALL THE GUYZ plz (and some girlz too)

laurel

@candybeans: In the pursuit of appearing less eager, it helps to spread the eagerness around a little, instead of focusing it on one ambivalent target. Also, it can be a hell of a lot of fun.

TheDragon

@candybeans I like the way you think. I've had one major healthier-for-both-of-us-if-we-split relationships, and I know that they are still hard and confusing to get out of/get over.
Also, I approve of ALL THE GUYS. I will take all the tall handsome cowboys who are good dancers. (if they fit three out of the four characteristics, that's acceptable. I may even accept just two of the categories.)

frigwiggin

My dad is coming to visit, and I'm actually really nervous about it for the first time in my life. The last time he visited, he was coming down with some bad emotions from shit happening in his life, and he ended up deciding he's never speaking to a couple of his sisters again, and made me cry--and while we made up and left on reasonably good terms, I feel like things have changed between us. He basically told me how disappointed he was in me for not doing something he wanted me to do, while before that he was basically unconditionally supportive and enthusiastic (aside from a few pointed instances in my childhood), and now I'm sort of scared to see him again. He's suddenly become this unpredictable person! And I am going to try to tell him my feelings, because last time (amidst all the crying) he told me he wants me to be completely and utterly honest with him from now on. But still...I don't like feeling like this. I guess it's just another step in re-realizing that parents are real people, but last time just reinforced my fear of making mistakes in front of him, which had been more of an unconscious thing up till now. =/

laurel

@frigwiggin: It sounds to me, from way over here, like your dad is going through changes in his life that are changing his perspective on everything. And that could be net-good (if it is indeed good) and possibly transformative and positive, but it doesn't mean you have to change anything about how you live your life.

If his changes mean he's becoming hypercritical of everyone around him and making demands on you about being honest and forthcoming (which can come across to me as being pretty boundary-transgressing and controlling), you wouldn't be out of line in taking a step back and putting his needs and perspectives at a lower priority than your own.

miss buenos aires

@frigwiggin Dads! They can be great, but sometimes no one can make you feel as awful as your dad can. It's so fraught... hope you guys have an okay time, and only be as honest as you want to be...

frigwiggin

@laurel It's definitely true that he's gone through some major life changes, and I DO think it's for the better in the end, but it's still hard times and apparently spurred him to release a lot of anger that I didn't know he was holding in and which scared me. I want to be supportive of him in this hard time but not at the cost of my own happiness--it's just figuring out how to make that work that's the problem. Everything might be fine this visit! I just don't know how much I should hold him accountable for acting like a jerk when he's in full depression swing. Last time he said he was lonely but he kept pushing family members away because he felt like they owe him something from when he was younger and he's not getting it, and...I just don't know. I hope he's better this time, I just hope.

@miss buenos aires Yeah, dads! Family. I love my family but I just want to spend time with people who don't stress me out, and I can't count my family in those numbers right now. I'm sure things will be fine, I just hate feeling like I'm walking on eggshells now.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

I have to move to Orange County guys. Tell me where the cool places are.

redheaded&crazy

@ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS in conclusion, there are no cool places in OC

frigwiggin

Weird dream report time: Someone gave me a steak shaped like the United States, but told me I could only eat the states that I knew the capital of. I woke up and had to wake my boyfriend up to ask him what the capital of Arizona was, because the only city I could think of was Scottsdale.

TheDragon

@frigwiggin I had a dream that someone brought an elephant into the pet store that I work at, and demanded that we groom it because "Your sign doesn't say anything about not grooming elephants."

Lucienne

@frigwiggin Ralph Fiennes asked me out on a date and I said no.

Worst dream ever. :(

Xanthophyllippa

@Dragon That sounds like day residue from the thread about the doctor who wouldn't treat the 250 lb. woman. Which probably sounds like I'm claming she's an elephant, but really what I mean is, your brain might just have been processing everyone's thoughts on weight and good care.

frigwiggin

@Lucienne I also had a dream last night that I went hang-gliding with Steve Martin. And the night before THAT I dreamed that a) I was in a movie with Benedict Cumberbatch and he smooched me and b) I wrote an email to Beck and he wrote me back very nicely.

I DO NOT NORMALLY HAVE THIS MANY DREAMS ABOUT CELEBRITIES, WHAT GIVES

Not sure if those are better/worse than the steak dream, though.

frigwiggin

United Steaks of America

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@frigwiggin I had a Downton Abbey dream this week! But... Downton had burned to the ground and the Crawleys were broke. Niiiightmaaaaaare!

Lucienne

@frigwiggin I pretty much never remember my dreams, which makes this especially egregious.

I smell burnt toast

@frigwiggin OH MAN, that dream is hilarious and perfect. If you are a writer, you must put that in a story.

Roxanne Rholes

I'm moving into a new place tomorrow (and out of the apartment I am sharing with my ex, uuuuugh finally) and the kitchen cabinets are terrible. Awful. So ugly. But I am not allowed to paint them! I have sunny yellow curtains and I wish the cabinets were blue. They're wood, so I can't just paint them back to the original color when I move out. Any suggestions?

JadedStone

@Roxanne Rholes STICKERS?

You know, with ducks or something. OR, you can actually buy the adhesive sticker stuff in a roll off ebay. It's usually vinyl though.

Or this?
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Roll-Adhesive-Crafts-Removable-Decoration-Sticker-Flower-Lace-Fabric-Tape-Yellow-/220963802419?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3372780d33

withatwist

@Roxanne Rholes If they're flat front you could put up contact paper. It will leave the wood frame exposed but that could look nice. Beware that removing the contact paper will probably take off any sealant on the wood.

social theory

@Roxanne Rholes can you change the fixtures instead and then put the old ones back on when you leave? blue knobs?

Punk-assBookJockey

@Roxanne Rholes I know this is a super late suggestion but could you just take the doors off so it's more like open shelving? You could even put a blue/cute print contact paper on the back walls of the cabinets or the front edges of the shelves. I love the look of open shelves in kitchens!

rosencrantz

I am about to start a week of vacation in which I will go absolutely nowhere. I AM SO EXCITED. There will be small elements of tourist-in-my-own-town, to be sure.

Also I'm going to get my first ever professional massage. Have you done this wonderful thing? I can't believe I waited so long.

fondue with cheddar

@rosencrantz Nowhere vacations are great! As are professional massages! Whether you have Problems like I do or you're a normal person who just likes things that feel good, it's amazing and something everyone should try at least once. Enjoy both!

sophia_h

Eye liner pencil recommendations for dummies, please! I've been trying to use a liner brush and some Mac pigment stuff but it's too tricky for me. Brand suggestions very welcome!

PS if you missed it last week, I posted a new Sherlock story in my series.

RNL
RNL

@sophia_h Origins eyeliner! I love the plum coloured one.

Lyesmith

@sophia_h In my experience, liquid eyeliner is easier and smoother to apply and less likely to leave unwanted lines on your upper eyelids. I use the basic Sephora brand http://www.sephora.com/long-lasting-eye-liner-P279639. It's a very matte black, which I like, and is very easy to remove. It does smudge if you try to correct a mistake, but otherwise, worth the price!

sophia_h

@Lyesmith I should have mentioned that liquid liner is pretty much out because I am so near-sighted, I have to jam my face into a mirror and it doesn't leave enough space to work. :(

olivebee

@sophia_h If you like the automatic kind (i.e. no sharpener needed), I recommend the Physician's Formula self-sharpening pencils. They come in 3 packs with 3 different colors in the pack, so you can switch up your eyeliner color. There is a pack with brown, blue, and black; one with purple, green, and black; and one with black, silver, and charcoal. They are also very soft, which is nice because then I only need to draw the line once without having to go over it again or push hard on the pencil or anything. I think it costs around $10, but it's organic and cruelty-free, so that's a plus, too.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@olivebee
Where do you get them in Chicago?

BosomBuddy

@sophia_h Based on another 'pinner recommendation, I've been using Urban Decay's 24/7 waterproof eyeliner and I love it. It's easy to apply and doesn't smudge, which is really all I can ask for.

sophia_h

@Wiscowhitney -- looks like maybe the Hairpin is treating your comments like it used to treat mine, since I got the notification but I don't see your post here! Anyhow, I have an angled brush and some black powder but it just doesn't work as well as I want it to, partly because the line is too thin and I always end up putting it on a few centimeters above my lash line and then it looks dumb. And thank you so much for reading! I'm so glad you enjoyed. :)

@olivebee I am intrigued and will search these things out.

olivebee

@josiahg CVS. Physician's Formula makeup is always on sale there, usually Buy One Get One Half Off. It's the only cruelty-free makeup I can afford to buy on a regular basis, so I hoard it when I go to CVS.

EpWs

@sophia_h I just bought a ridiculously awesome Make Up Forever liner from Sephora a couple weeks back, and after years of drugstore liners, it is a revelation. SO SMOOTH and easy to use. I believe it's this one.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
IT COMES IN FUSCHIA? WHAT!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@sophia_h New Sherlock story! You have just made my MONTH, girl. /perv

EpWs

@josiahg BUY IT BUY IT.

Seriously, they're pricey but WORTH IT.

KeLynn

@BosomBuddy I vote for Urban Decay 24/7 too. Since I bought a few of those early this spring, I have literally not used any other pencil liner I own.

NeverOddOrEven

Dudes and lady dudes!

Surgery was a success! I got home Wednesday evening and besides some soreness and stiffness, and the nagging feeling that there's a foreign body in my abdomen, it's almost like nothing happened.
The rashes I have from all the dressing adhesives is actually the worst part so far.
And I've taken TWO showers since getting home. Two! In two days! This is unheard of.

NeverOddOrEven

@NeverOddOrEven
Also, I am going out and buying a bodycon miniskirt today. And I just ordered some Soapwalla deodorant.

Xanthophyllippa

@NeverOddOrEven Yay! And yay for showers!

frigwiggin

@NeverOddOrEven Yes, yaaaay! I am so, so glad to hear this. WORK THAT SKIRT LADY

PistolPackinMama

@NeverOddOrEven OH MY GOD. That is awesome. <3

anachronistique

@NeverOddOrEven THIS IS FANTASTIC. <33333

NeverOddOrEven

@NeverOddOrEven
Ugh, why do you loose links in editing? It's this razor.

Cat named Virtute

@NeverOddOrEven Yay!! So glad it went well.

Xanthophyllippa

@NeverOddOrEven Yarrrr, sorry to threadjack but could you send me your email address again? I think I typed it in wrong and I have a picture to send you. (I'm this name at gmail.)

Nutmeg

After 3 straight weeks of getting 5-or-fewer hours of sleep a night I finally slept for almost twelve hours straight. I had night sweats and was kicking my Gentleman Caller and talking in my sleep but I slept through the night, so I am calling victory on that one.

It was probably the fact that I had two glasses of wine and an OTC sleeping pill, but in my defense the pill bottle didn't say anything about drinking! When I got home and read the box today I noticed it said, "Avoid Alcoholic Beverages," but it's okay, the glass of wine was pretty far away from me for most of the time.

zamboni

@Nutmeg HIGH FIVES (on the sleep and the wine joke). Do you feel like a million bucks?

hurts

ok pent up confession time. I'm 22 and have never had a boyfriend/had sex/done anything sexy. AND IT'S KILLING ME. I feel like it would be so much fun, and I really want the fun and close friendship intimacy that I imagine having a boyf would be, BUT a) I am terrified of talking to guys. I just think they're gonna like, laugh in my face and shove me on the floor then run off if I flirt because I'm so repulsive?! I have it in my head that really, guys just wanna date blond blue eyed white girls (I'm mixed race) and even though there is evidence to the contrary everywhere, it's in my head that they'll think I'm just shit and weird. and b) I feel really shy about sexy stuff. In my head what's gonna happen is that best case scenario, eeeeevvventually, one day i'll end up getting with a guy I'm not that keen on cos I'm so desperate, he'll be freaked that I'm so shy and inexperienced and then I'll die alone. Advice please. (do I HAVE to try talking to more guys?)

yourstruly

@hurts I need some solid advice here too you guys!

SarahP

@hurts Lila Fowler started a good thread if you just want some nice stories. But yes, yes, you have to talk to more guys if you want to date them. But I get it! Talking to someone you don't know is awkward. Have you tried online dating? It's nice because everyone who looks at your profile knows that you want to date someone, so if they're not interested, they can just ignore your messages and you don't risk as much direct rejection.

Lyesmith

@hurts Hey, I read a totally great Captain Awkward column on this topic, so I hope it helps! http://captainawkward.com/2011/05/17/reader-question-50-im-a-27-year-old-virgin-and-im-mostly-okay-with-that-but-sometimes-i-feel-like-a-loser/ Also, I'm 23 and I lost my virginity when I was 22 to my first serious boyfriend. To be honest, after the fact I just thought "why is this such a huge deal?" While sex is awesome, it's not as life-changing as it seems. I'm still the same person I was before. Also, I think waiting worked well for me because my first time was with a guy who cares about me and didn't make me feel funny or awkward about being a virgin at all. If someone makes you feel bad about your virginity, they definitely don't deserve to have sex with you!

permanentbitchface

@hurts you are not repulsive or anything like that! It sounds like the lack of sexytimes is coming from your confidence levels. You sound really hard on yourself, like you want it to just be perfect and easy for yourself but if it's not there's something wrong with you. Which there's not! Talking to strangers is hard! But I think you are just going to have to practice talking to guys, but not with a relationship-gaining motivation behind it, just a friendly, witty banter. About whatever! Ask questions about him! People love to talk about themselves. If he's cool, he'll ask about you, too. If you can talk to people in general, you can talk to dudes.

BeebsLaRue

@hurts @yourstruly Ohhhh ladies, I just want to hug you both. I understand how you feel. I just want you to know that you're not alone in feeling that way, and there ARE good guys out there who will like you for you. What are some things you like to do? Could you join some local groups/teams/organizations/whatever in line with your interests, and maybe meet some like-minded dudes that way? Because being interested and involved in stuff is pretty attractive, and maybe it'll help boost your confidence a little (plus, you and the dude(s) will have something in common = stuff to talk about!).

Also, I want to ditto what @Lyesmith said!

Xanthophyllippa

@hurts It's also worth noting that 22 isn't that old. I mean, I don't want to be one of those Olds who dismisses your legitimate anxiety on the grounds that Oh, You're So Young, but maybe working on the social anxiety without accidentally putting age-related pressure on yourself will help you articulate a positive goal.

I guess what I mean is, it might help to say, "okay, I need to work on this because I want a boyfriend and am nervous about it" rather than "okay, I need to work on this because I'm 22 and have never had a boyfriend." The former is "ooh, I could do something good for myself!" whereas the latter is "there's something wrong with me and I have to fix it!"

(Did that make sense? Or does it look like I'm just being A Jerky Old?)

JadedStone

@hurts PFFT. I'm mixed race. EVERYBODY WANTS TO BONE US. It's a thing.

LET'S SAY this dude laughs at you and cracks an egg on your head and pushes you into the dirt and walks away. YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DATE THAT DUDE. But really? Screw it. You pick yourself up and dust yourself off and away you go.

Do you have a type? Are you shy on the internets? Other than 'person to have sexy times with' - what are you looking for?

Jennifer Culp

@hurts Yeah, you've got to talk to guys if you want to improve your boyfriend-getting odds. When it comes to talking to dudes, I think it helps to look at the situation differently than you seem to be doing. Speaking to a guy isn't an audition for you, it's a fact-finding mission about him. Don't worry about yourself; you're investigating HIM. That's how the whole boyfriend/girlfriend scenario escalates, anyway: you're interested in him, he's interested in you, you both want to make each other feel good because making him feel good makes you feel good, and vice versa. Trying to imagine how a stranger you haven't spoken to yet might (MIGHT!) perceive you and react just leads to crippling performance anxiety. Be curious about him instead of anxious about yourself. "That guy's cute. I want to know more about him. I'm going to ask him!" Once you get started, it gets so much easier. Guys are just people, too. Some of 'em are great, some of 'em are jerks, you just have to do a little research (talking) to figure it out. And you never ever ever have to settle for doing anything with anyone you're not 100% interested in.

hurts

@SarahP kinda worried that if I start online dating all my friends will secretly think 'Oh jeeze we knew she was weird but this is pathetic'!
@xanthophyllippa not jerky-old! does make sense.
@jadedstone unfortch I do have a type. That Supreme, Nike Air Max wearing type. And I *think* their taste leans towards girls that have hair that obeys gravity/tatts/are Vice-pretty. DAnd after having read the Captain Awkward post (thankyou for that Lyesmith)I um, think I am looking for love. you know, making-you-feel-like-you-weren't-a-weirdo-all-along-you-are-ok-let's-do-stuff-together feelings.

JadedStone

@hurts ONLINE DATING IS THE BEST.

Seriously. I love the internet. I buy all my crap on the internet. You love the pin! And the pin is on the internet.
It's simply a tool for meeting dudes and having an effective way to make sure they can spell.

What is it about these shoe wearing men you like? Confidence?
And you can't go into this thinking their type is something else. Be bold! Assume you're their type. Be ok with saying no. Be ok with them saying no. Just delete and move on.

GO NOW AND MAKE AN ONLINE PROFILE. IT WILL BE FUN!
The pin will help you write it.

zamboni

@hurts One thing I am learning--like, beginning to be able to process emotionally as well as intellectually--is that YOU SHOULDN'T REJECT YOURSELF ON BEHALF OF OTHER PEOPLE. You don't know what someone's type is just by looking at them, and they don't know if you're their jam until they know you. (So yeah, you have to talk to them. But indeed, you can start this project on the internet!) So many guys who I thought were wildly out of my league in university were in fact totally down, and I was unable to process this or respond appropriately because I had already decided this was Totally Impossible. (Many of them turned out to be total juiceboxes, but they were really hot.)
And anyone who actually rejects you in the dramatically hateful way one somehow always imagines is in fact a living nightmare you are well rid of/a soon-to-be hilarious story you can tell forever.
On a pretty related note, I am 28 and only had my first sexytimes/sex a few months ago. I can assure you a) it's not going to fall off or anything while you search for a partner (though, would it have fallen off if I was 29? I'LL NEVER KNOW) and b) it is worth getting a good sex toy or two if you don't have one already. You have lots of time to have fun with yourself (intrinsic benefits are obvious), and this eventually helped me be a lot more comfortable with my sexuality and slightly less terrified of involving another person in it.

hurts

@JadedStone I MADE ONE BECAUSE YOU SHOUTED AT ME. But I am peeetttrrrriiiiffffiiiied. and I just found a guy's profile which has 'my life is in perpetual sepia tone' as the first line. Please just let me coast along hoping that I'll meet someone IRL

JadedStone

@hurts NOPE. You can't meet people IRL. It's a myth.

Experiencing rejection on the internet (both you rejecting and being rejected) is good practice! Terrifying, yes, but good. You don't have to even send any emails, you can just work on your profile. Be honest!

LOOK AT THE NUMBERS. Look how many single peeps are just like you! Everybody is in the same boat. Nobody has their shiz together, nobody knows what they're doing. Everybody is secretly singing 'somebody to love' into their hairbrush.

Besides. If all else fails you can submit something to my book "Mistakes I have dated and other tales of woe".

I second what zamboni said about the sex toys. It is much easier to enjoy sex for 2 when you've got sex for 1 down.

royaljunk

@JadedStone I, TOO, NEED ONLINE PROFILE HELP. I'm in a similar boat and have slowly come around to the idea that I'm going to need to go the online route since I'm such a damn homebody. I've gotten as far as creating an account but once I start having to fill in actual info boxes about myself I FREEZE and PANIC.

yourstruly

@JadedStone @zamboni @Jennifer Culp @Xanthophyllippa and everyone else!
Virtual hugs and high fives all around! This little thread gives me confidence and warm fuzzies!

JadedStone

@royaljunk AWW. DON'T PANIC. Let us help you with the boxes! And remember, boys are just looking at the pictures of your boobs anyway.
(HAHA. I kid!)
Brutal Honesty helps. If a dude is gonna reject you for being a size 12, best to be upfront about it in your profile so you don't have to even deal with that.

Don't pretend you like long walks on the beach. Who does? SAND. It's the enemy, and your arches hurt. Pose interesting questions in your info boxes, it gives a dude something to reply about.

It's ok to be picky, but be picky about the right sorts of things. Veto a dude who doesn't approve of gay rights (My first question always) but give a dude who is a bit short a chance.

Cause you don't need to attract all the boys. You're just looking for one. (ok, maybe sometimes more. but for now! just one.)

I used to have one of those personality quiz things on mine. You know, the one where it's a list and they have to say what order they'd do things in? Phone ringing, baby crying, somebody at the door, something on the stove bubbling over. It might not be true, but it's a great way to get a conversation rolling.

WaityKatie

@JadedStone Ahhhh don't say you're a size 12 in your profile though! (says a size 12, here) Cause for real, guys think that is a super giantic size. They think it is far, far, bigger than it is. Guys have no clue about women's sizes, at all. They think everyone "average" is a size 4. Just post current pictures of yourself and let them figure it out!

royaljunk

@JadedStone Aaaahh, thanks so much!! This is good advice!

halfheartedyoga

@hurts hey lots of people have already given you awesome advice but i wanted to chime in with my 2cents which are

-yeah, you do have to talk to them...but flirting isn't a zero sum game of a) you put yourself out there b) you are accepted or rejected. Flirting is just a whole genre of interaction that can be really fun and wonderful even if it doesn't lead anywhere physical. So just talk to those fuckers, who knows where it will go.

- when you do get there, don't be bummed if your first few sexitimes aren't mind bendingly awesome. don't be bummed if that dude doesn't turn out to be your long or even medium term dude. most important thing is that sexitimes are with a decent trustworthy dude who listens to you and respects you. if you feel that isn't the case, at any moment, walk away. but also...

-finally, i don't know about anyone else, but even with "lots of experience" sex especially with a new person, but even with the same person, can be/usually is hilariously awkward on some level. there are weird sounds. you are tossing about like animals. you might be saying silly things to eachother. someone elses BODY IS RIGHT THERE. What I'm saying is, the slight embarassment at the start hasn't yet gone away. But when it feels right (see above re: trustwrothy, respectful, listening partner) you dive right in and don't worry bout it.

This is my new username

@SarahP Yes, I shared my story of lovely man happiness in the Lila Fowler thread. I mentioned that I was very, very single before I met him, but did not get into the fact that I was also a virgin. I definitely had some anxiety over that fact. It kind of made dating scary 'cause I knew I would have to tell dudes that I was a virgin at some point and I really didn't want to. Luckily, my mister was sweet and nice and great. Eventually we went to the mountains, and had some awkward, awkward sex, but then also a nice cuddly post awkward sex shower, and spent a lovely weekend together. In the end, sex kind of wasn't a big deal, but actually doing it, did personally help me let go of some anxiety about it, but probably that had a lot to do with it being a positive experience because it was with a nice, understanding guy.

permanentbitchface

You guys I need some advice! I just moved to Reno a week and a half ago and I got a job serving in one of the casino's restaurants. They told me to wait until they got the results of a drug test back before I could start, and it took a few days longer than usual. So they call me yesterday at 10 am, like "wanna work tonight? except you need to be here in 2 hours to do more paperwork, get your nametag, etc." So I went in, (for 10 hours!) but wasn't expecting to have to come back until after an orientation, which is next Wed. So the manager who conducted my interview, who is also very scary and intimidating, told me I should come in every night until Monday. And I was like, ok we'll talk about it in a little bit here after I do this sidework, and he just leaves! So everyone else is like, oh just talk to him when you come in Friday night.

So I am freaking out! I have friends from a couple hours away coming to visit me and my bf all weekend and they are staying with us, and I just need this visit so bad because I don't have any friends here yet and it's the first big move I've EVER done so I've been sad and missing my family and friends. So ANYWAY, I want to just be like "look, dude, I can't work all weekend at the drop of a hat even though in the future it would be fine, I just thought I wasn't starting till after the 5th anyway, so I made plans, deal with it." but this guy is SO INTIMIDATING. I don't think he'll take it well and I'm so nervous about it.

permanentbitchface

@permanentbitchface and the other thing is I really don't get good vibes about this job already.. All the other servers were so mad about their schedule this next week because everything was messed up, and my trainer kept saying things like "oh but if you have too many voids you could get in trouble, and you'll get written up for this this and that," so the whole place just feels very negative and scary.
Sorry to write a novel here! I'm just having a rough time being in a new place and not knowing anybody and trying to be firm with my availability so I'm not a total pushover.

laurel

@permanentbitchface: I may not understand the timeline very well but it seems like if this guy thinks you're available all weekend and you're not, you should tell him now instead of several hours from now? So he as time to call someone else in for tomorrow?

I think you should make it clear that you can work weekends in the future, just not this first one since you weren't expecting to start until next week.

permanentbitchface

@laurel Right! The thing is that I'm only training on these shifts, I'm not on the real schedule yet. I have to train 4 days before they put me on by myself. So I'm not leaving anybody hanging by not being there this weekend, it just pushes my on-my-own start date back a couple days.

One of the other managers told me to wait until I come in tonight to talk to him about the schedule, so they didn't seem too worried about my telling him as soon as possible.

I just need to have the balls to tell him I can't train this weekend, which I've really never told any job before. So I feel like they're going to let me go or something! This place just makes me so nervous.

laurel

@permanentbitchface: Ah, I get it and yeah, it's hard to confront someone whose behavior makes him seem intimidating (that's why they do it: to discourage anyone from bringing up things they don't want to deal with). But your issue is so completely reasonable and if you handle it in a straightforward manner and they fire you on the spot then maybe you're better off knowing they're freaky angry and hostile now? 'Cause it'll come up again sometime soon!

permanentbitchface

@laurel You're right! Thanks. It is pretty reasonable, I just never want to cause any issues. I'm gonna go in and be firm though! If they don't like it, oh well! There's other places to work!

Blushingflwr

@permanentbitchface Just say "I was told I wouldn't be starting until X date, and based on that I made plans for the weekend that I cannot alter. In the future, I will of course be able to work on weekends, unfortunately I am not available this weekend."

dj pomegranate

IF YOU ARE IN NEW YORK and you are interested in a part time office assistant position at an awesome human rights non-profit, I am the person you want to talk to right now! We're interviewing and hiring asap. Anyone?

Peanut

@dj pomegranate Would you consider a superkeen Australian?

(I'm a little bit certain that you are my PinPal and please don't think I've forgotten you! Letter in the mail tomorrow!)

Slutface

Can anyone suggest an Etsy shop with cute handbags that are good quality but only like $20 or less? I know I'm asking for a lot here, but I'm broke as fuck. Or used handbags or something? I've looked on ebay, but I'd rather support an Etsy shop.

wallsdonotfall

This is a Billfold-y question, but how do you guys get jazzed about bringing lunch to work? I was looking at my bank statement today and realized that I spent $94 on eating out by myself (so not counting dates!) in just the week since I got paid. More than half of those are lunches, which ranged from $6 to $12.

I like to cook, so it's not that I can't provide for myself. But Tupperware always leaks in my bag, so I find excuses to buy lunch instead of risking it. And then I might as well buy breakfast on my way to work, right, because I don't have time to make toast at home... it's a self-reinforcing loop and it's making me broke.

KatnotCat

@wallsdonotfall Does your office have a fridge? I find it easier to just bring in a bunch of small things for the week in for lunches sometimes (hummus, veggies, yogurts, etc) if that's an option.

rosencrantz

@wallsdonotfall What kind of place do you work at? Maybe you could do something like bring makings for delicious sandwiches (or other not-difficult things) on Monday and leave them at work for your week.

Alternately, treat yourself ONCE to a set of really excellent tupperware. Bento boxes? An amazingly cute lunchbox or lunch tote?

Alli525

@wallsdonotfall Get better Tupperware! I've even found that those deli-meat containers (Hillshire Farm or whatever) make really good portion-size lunchboxes... and if I'm feeling extra paranoid I'll wrap it in a grocery bag.

As for breakfast... keep dried fruit, granola, healthbars, whatever... it'll help a LOT.

BeebsLaRue

@wallsdonotfall Hmmm your Tupperware leaks? It shouldn't leak! Maybe get some better Tupperware to eliminate this barrier to bringing your own lunch? Also, I like to make simple sandwiches - turkey and pesto on grainy wheat bread (or hummus if you're veggie!), even just pb & j (nostalgia for childhood!). I also like @KatnotCat's suggestion of bringing a bunch of small things to keep in the fridge. Also, Amy's frozen meals. I like to eat those when I'm too lazy to make stuff.

Lyesmith

@wallsdonotfall Get a cute stainless steel bento set! http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41HBH2ucxAL.jpg

Xanthophyllippa

@wallsdonotfall @rosencrantz Yeah, my suggestion was going to be to buy better Tupperware. I get really excited by cooking big and then putting individual lunch portions in my new Pyrex mini-containers and stacking them in the fridge, and I carry them to work in a cute little shopping bag with handles - the bag dangles off my handlebars. Sometimes I leave things in the fridge/freezer at work so I have Emergency Lunch on the days I'm running late or can't get my shit together.

all the bacon and eggs

@wallsdonotfall For breakfast, I keep boxes of instant oatmeal in my office. Then I just pour it into a paper cup and stir in some water from the insta-hot tap. I also keep granola bars on hand (and candy...). It helps me avoid bagel temptation like, four days per week.

Regarding the tupperware leakage issue, I suggest a neoprene lunch bag, like from Built NY. I just throw all my items in there, and then put that in my "real" handbag. If things leak, it doesn't matter. They are machine washable. (But as to motivation to actually make lunch, I have no clue. My bf makes the lunches.)

dj pomegranate

@wallsdonotfall I like those Tupperwares that lock down on the sides...I think they're called Lock n Load or something? They never leak! For me, the key to bringing lunch is bringing variety. So I always make sure I have a morning snack, an afternoon snack, and a lunch condiment that I am truly excited about (recently: peach pie, wasabi peas, cheese and crackers, avocado slices, salt and vinegar almonds.) Inevitably around 10:30 am I'll be like, "Hey, I'm hungry...OH YEA WASABI PEAS!!!!" Also I like to bring things that are really good reheated in the microwave, like cheesy casseroles, stews, and rice that has soaked up a lot of sauce (leftovers, mainly.) Hope this helps!

wallsdonotfall

@all Hmm! I'm looking at fancy containers like Lunch Bots, but does anyone have specific suggestions? I've used bento boxes in the past but they leaked, too--I have a hard time keeping anything upright in my bag. (Right now I am using those Glad disposable container things, and they suck. Do not buy them!)

I have avoided the office kitchen (which is alllllll the way on the other side of the building) because I am afraid of office kitchen politics and accidentally transgressing/falling victim to office kitchen etiquette blunders.

dj pomegranate

@all the bacon and eggs I have one of Built's neoprene bags and it is seriously the best. I feel like their online store has sales often, too--I got mine for $12!

wallsdonotfall

@camanda I can't see your comment! But the Martha Stewart containers look awesome--I think I will buy some next week. My roommate has an entire cupboard full of plastic containers and I'm beginning to understand why.

I think I'm going to buy this bento jar! I eat a lot of soup/yogurt/wet things, so it would save me having to buy a separate thermos. The carrying case is fug, but I could just wrap it in a cloth.

miss buenos aires

@wallsdonotfall My Tupperware leaks too... I just always put it inside a plastic bag and hope for the best.

camanda

@wallsdonotfall Boo, Hairpin comment fail! But yes, they are definitely awesome. They make bringing my lunch kind of fun.

area@twitter

@wallsdonotfall I swear by Lean Cuisines/those little microwaveable pasta dishes. I bring a bunch in every two weeks or so and stock up the freezer and/or the drawer beneath my desk- or I drop a LC in my bag before walking out. And little snacks are huge too. I love yogurts, those single-serving bags of crackers, string cheese...mmm.

entangled

@wallsdonotfall That post on beans from earlier this week:
http://thehairpin.com/2012/08/the-magical-fruit
so many lunch ideas in the comments!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@wallsdonotfall Built lunchbag makes me <3 bringing lunch. Also I have had great success with the containers that have screw-on lids, like for soup?
I also recommend bringing a bunch of smaller portions of different things to keep it interesting. Or you could have one simple thing like sandwiches every day, but still vary it: PBJ, nutella and banana, turkey and swiss with avocado, tofu with bell peppers and hummus.... Mmmmm I'm getting hungry!
And I love those tiny soda cans? They're like 8 oz(ish).

KeLynn

@wallsdonotfall - I think buying a good lunchbox like everybody said is key. I recently splurged on a monbento (it was on sale, but still like $35). It actually hasn't arrived at my house yet BUT I paid such a ridiculous amount of money for a lunchbox because my pantry is currently full of lunchboxes that were adorable, but in practice were crap for all kinds of reasons. They weren't water-tight or can't be put in the dishwasher or can't be microwaved or whatever. And honestly, when I'm on the fence about packing my lunch, the idea of dealing with all that crap is usually enough to make me just give up and not pack anything. So you need a lunchbox that you can't find any practical faults with!

But then when it comes to lunches themselves, it's way easier to throw a lunch together if everything is washed/chopped/sliced/assembled ahead of time as much as you can. Then a) it's ready to go and b) you don't have to stand in front of the fridge trying to cobble together a lunch every morning. You've already prepped it all and you know exactly what lunchy things you have to eat so you just grab a few and throw them in your lunchbox.

EternalFootwoman

@KeLynn I am a huge advocate of taking twenty minutes when you get home with groceries to do food prep. Wash and chop the produce, separate things into individual containers (like if you buy a tub of yogurt or something), etc. I know it's the same total time expenditure, but it feels like it saves so much time when all you have to do is throw things into a bag in the morning.

Holden Cauliflower

Off to see a boy for the weekend tomorrow morning! Do I f