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Friday, August 17, 2012

1033

Friday Open Thread

Let's go! What's good?



1033 Comments / Post A Comment

Cat named Virtute

Winnipeg Pin-up today!! Sixish, at Cousins', which is at the corner of Sherbrook and Wolseley. So excited! This is my third Pin-up in as many cities. I'll be wearing a giant red sunhat.

kickupdust

@Cat named Virtute speedy! unlike this day...

Cat named Virtute

@kickupdust I'm on it!!

meetapossum

@Cat named Virtute I hate Winnipeg.

(Sorry, I am listening to the Weakerthans Spotify radio right now, and I couldn't help it!)

kickupdust

@meetapossum haha! me too, sometimes.

Ophelia

@Cat named Virtute Please, please tell me it's called a Winnipin?

Cat named Virtute

@Ophelia I said to kickupdust that we should refer to ourselves as Pinnipeggers, actually. She's on board. The membership cards are in the mail.

CoffeeAddict204

@Cat named Virtute I am so bummed that I missed the message! I would have loved to have been there!

Cat named Virtute

@CoffeeAddict204 We're bummed too, but it was a small but rousing success and I think we'll do another! We'll keep you posted!

Fiddle dee dee

@Cat named Virtute @kickupdust

Good morning! I am enjoying some Tim Horton's coffee and donuts and happy memories of the Winni-pinup. My friend at immigration would've been even more envious if he'd known how charming you two are.

Fiddle dee dee

Also wondering how to pronounce "Assiniboine".

Cat named Virtute

@Fiddle dee dee So glad you came up--it was lovely to meet you! Assiniboine is "uh-SIN-uh-boyn." No, I don't know either.

jhonsons

Just can't get enough of this today...@j

Daisy Razor

I bought these earrings and I LOVE them. I want to wear them everywhere, including the grocery store.

Show me your favorite jewelry! Stuff you own or stuff you'd own if you were fabulously wealthy.

thenotestaken

@Daisy Razor My favorite necklace lately is this one except just one one long chain instead of the Y-style. Simple but I get lots of compliments, plus my mom gave it to me. I haven't figured out yet what to put in it though, the locket is too tiny for any pictures I have!

And for aspirational jewelery, Digby + Iona, obv.

tearsforaffairs

And my aspirational jewelry is pretty much everything else from Catbird.

the little c

@Daisy Razor
A couple weeks ago I got some key-shaped dangly earrings from ASOS (bought the last pair so no one else can have them!). They look a little like this: http://www.etsy.com/listing/61359823/on-sale-alice-in-wonderland-key-earrings?ref=sr_gallery_17&ga_search_query=key+earrings&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=ZZ&ga_min=0&ga_max=0&ga_search_type=all

Lit Drunkard

@Daisy Razor Right now, it's Digby & Iona (thanks Hairpin, for finally identifying a necklace I'd been lusting after on tumblr!), but there's no chance I can afford one of his pieces

bot
bot

@Daisy Razor Your necklace looks like an oyster cracker! (This is a genuine compliment.)

hotdog

@tearsforaffairs I have the tiniest gold ring from catbird, unfortunately engraved with mine and my ex's initials. Whoops.

Xanthophyllippa

@Daisy Razor I make earrings and necklaces and my favorite pair I've made are chandelier earrings with a sort of western-themed finding and then dangling crystals in three shades of brown, with the outer dangles the shortest (one brown) and the middle dangle the longest (all three browns). I made them at the request of my bestie and I think she forgot she has them, but I love them and am glad she liked them too. I'm going to make myself a similar pair in blue as soon as I have time to buy more chandeliers.

faience

@bot I was just trying to explain what an oyster cracker is and why they are the only crackers Ill eat in soup. Sadly my office mate is from Ontario and has never had good chowder.

thenotestaken

@bot Haha right?!? Makes me want tomato soup. Mmm.

Bittersweet

@Daisy Razor Love those earrings. These are my favorite pieces of jewelry in the world, mostly because my husband gave them to me (the sapphire was on our 5th anniversary). I never take them off except for manicures.

My aspirational jewelry is any Cartier animal, and half the stuff Monica puts in her estate columns.

Daisy Razor

@hotdog Ooooh...can you get that un-engraved?

And I have now added Catbird to my list of Pretty Things To Look At When I'm Bored.

Clare

@Bittersweet Cartier jinx! I walked past the 5th Avenue boutique last weekend, and there was an incredible suite of Panther jewelry in the window.

like a rabid squirrel

@Daisy Razor I just today bought a brown leather wrap bracelet that I'm in love with. I can't find the same one online, I guess it's a little like this http://www.endless.com/Presh-Rhinestone-Whiskey-Leather-Bracelet/dp/B004WR4PMG/182-5719797-1038530?ie=UTF8&ascsubtag=aid10475705-pid2687457-sid4a61f1edb4e84577a4e60ce963f77a8c&suppressRedirect=1&tag=endlesscj-20 but not braided and with little segments held together with metal links. I'm not usually a huge bracelet girl but this is so up my alley.

Bittersweet

@Bittersweet Oh crap, that link won't work because I'm a Flickr moron. Try this one instead.

lamesauce

@Daisy Razor My ex got me the pirate/viking ship necklace from Catbird for my birthday and it was my Favourite Thing Ever. I wore it all the time for about a year until my flat was burgled and it was one of the few things stolen. We had broken up by then but I loved the thing so much I asked him if he could buy another and mail it to me (overseas) and I'd pay him back. He said he gladly would but that it had cost roughly a million dollars so I would have to pay him that before he did anything of the sort.

Megasus

@Daisy Razor BOOKMARKED!

realtalk

my little sister got her wisdom teeth out yesterday so I've been watching movies with her (and changing her icepacks and giving her vicodin and making her smoothies BUT THE MOVIES ARE THE IMPORTANT PART) and: HOW DID I NOT REMEMBER HOW AWESOME CLUELESS IS. so 90s, so perfect. watch it this weekend, y'all.

also Tuesday was my last day at my awful job (!!!) and I got a new job on Wednesday on my first try (!!!!!) and I don't start for another two weeks (!!!!!!!! VACATION!!) so I LOVE THE WORLD.

Cat named Virtute

@realtalk Aw, you are such a good sister!

I just watched Clueless for the first time (I knowwwww) last year, and I LOVED it. You guys should also watch Empire Records and 10 Things I Hate About You, which are my other two favourite 90s comfort movies.

Lucienne

@realtalk I am curious to know what is next on the list! Are you sticking with classic lit adaptations? (I assume 10 Things I Hate About You is next up, then.)

lora.bee

@Lucienne "Everything but the beak and feet."

Lucienne

@lora.bee "I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?"

lora.bee

@Lucienne "I think you can in Europe?"

anachronistique

@lora.bee "I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack."

Daisy Razor

@lora.bee
"There's a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack."
"But I love my Skechers."
"That's because you don't have a Prada backpack."

(Twinsies, @anachronistique!)

lora.bee

@Daisy Razor "Remove head from sphincter, THEN drive!"

anachronistique

@Daisy Razor Jinx!
"Make anyone cry today?"
"No, but it's only 3:30."

realtalk

@Lucienne @Cat named Virtute YES Ten Things I Hate About You forever and always, and also I love Empire Records. Right now we're watching Hunger Games because she never saw it in theaters, but we have a How I Met Your Mother marathon lined up for later this afternoon.

Daisy Razor

@anachronistique " 'Heinous bitch' is the term used most often."

Kat Stratford is my spirit animal.

yeah-elle

@anachronistique "What is it, Asshole Day?"

I started writing/drawing/collage-ing a 10 Things I Hate About You fanzine, but then I let it languish.

lora.bee

@Daisy Razor "As always, thank you for your excellent guidance. I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member."

Why does no one ever mention Never Been Kissed? Did no one else watch that?

Lucienne

@yeah-elle "I guess in this society being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time."

Also, Wayne's World.

thenotestaken

@Lucienne I think I need to watch Wayne's World at least once every six months to remain sane.

yeah-elle

Also:

I can't be seen at Club Skunk!
And hell is just a sauna.
Where is my uncle's pencil? I don't know, maybe it is up your ass.
What's a Bogey Lowenstein?

etc etc okay I'll stop now.

Lucienne

@thenotestaken I didn't realize how firmly I had imprinted on Wayne's World (like, how awesome is Cassandra?!) until I rewatched it about a year ago. Sadly, I don't have any DVDs in my apartment.

Daisy Razor

@yeah-elle No! Don't stop!

"Kissing is not what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta!"

And Bring It On is my other go-to teen comedy. Eliza Dushku, swoon.

lora.bee

@yeah-elle You are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is!

My mama didn't raise no fool. ...thanks Bill.

realtalk

@Daisy Razor AHHHH BRING IT ON! so good! I'm putting that on our afternoon list!

thenotestaken

@Lucienne I was Garth for Halloween, and made my friend be Wayne even though she'd never seen Wayne's World until I sat her down in front of it for twenty minutes before we left for a party. Best. Costume. Ever.

Scandyhoovian

@Daisy Razor 10 Things is my very favorite. I once had a friend tell me I reminded them of Kat Stratford and I clung to it like THE GREATEST THING EVER TOLD TO ME ABOUT MYSELF for a very long time.

Also, BRING IT ON! Love that movie!

I transferred from Los Angeles, your school has no gymnastics team, this is a last resort!!

Daisy Razor

@realtalk Seriously, Bring It On is like visual chicken soup when you're not feeling well. Your sister will thank you.

"What, does this girl have beer flavored nipples?"

anachronistique

@Daisy Razor I just used the beer-flavored nipples line the other day.

"Who knocked up your sister?"

yeah-elle

@Daisy Razor

Yuppy greed is back, my friends.
My insurance does not cover PMS!
Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver?
That must be Nigel, with the brie.
Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.
I dazzled him, with my...wits.
Do you really wanna get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're forced to listen to a band that, by definition, blows?

questingbeast

@yeah-elle 'Ask them WHY they can't buy a book written by a black man!' 'Yeah mon!' 'Don't even get me started on you two.'

lora.bee

@yeah-elle JUDITH! What's another word for...engorged?
I'll look it up.
Thank you. Swollen. Turgid.
Tumescent?
PERFECT!

double paw?

"shit bianca my NOSE SPRAY ad is tomorrow!"

don't know why that sticks with me, but it's so fun to yell.

lora.bee

@double paw? THAT WAS COSTA RICAN BUTTHEAD

TheDragon

@realtalk CLUELESS AND MEAN GIRLS ARE A BUNDLE PACK ON ITUNES FOR $15 AND I JUST BOUGHT BOTH!
I love it.
I found "Ten Things I Hate About You" at a pawn shop for $.50.

lora.bee

@The Kendragon YOU GO GLEN COCO!!

anachronistique

@lora.bee "You know, you're not as vile as I thought you were."

EpWs

@anachronistique "Tell me something true." "I hate peas."

stonefruit

@everyone quoting 10 Things I Hate About You:

HUGS ALL AROUND, GETCHER HUGS HERE.

yeah-elle

@All Ye 10-Things Enthusiasts I would like to take this moment to mention that my avatar is actually Heath Ledger! I forgot about that.

phlox

@stonefruit I am just so glad to know I am not the only one here who can basically talk along with the movie. (Re-watched it last night for the first time in MONTHS.)

"Damn, I was going for thoughtful."

NuckingFux Nix

@realtalk

What planet are you from, planet loser?
Oh, what, as opposed to planet "look at me! look at me!"

Seriously my favorite movie.

lora.bee

@NuckingFux Nix Have you seen the unwashed miscreants that go to that school?

yeah-elle

@lora.bee And I didn't sleep with a Spice Girl... I think.

lora.bee

@yeah-elle Should you really be drinking that when you don't have a liver?

(I am getting NOTHING done this afternoon.)

phlox

@yeah-ell And the outtakes! "Can I get a prophylactic?"

EpWs

@lora.bee Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns. That's a direct quote.

lora.bee

@phlox Perky's now! Now! Perky's! Now, Perky's! Perky's now. Now Perky's.

phlox

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher

"I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst."
"Bratwurst? Aren't we the optimist."

lora.bee

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher The shit...hath hitteth...the fan...eth.

anachronistique

@lora.bee And I'm BACK in the game!

EpWs

@lora.bee I want you. I need you. Oh baby, oh baby.

lora.bee

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Don't touch anything. You might get hepatitis.

phlox

@lora.bee Next time you decide to storm the PTA campaigning for better lunch meat or whatever you white girls complain about, ask them why they can't buy a book by a black man!

anachronistique

@phlox Am I in the right office?

lora.bee

@anachronistique What, Mr Morgan??

LATER!!!!!

katiemcgillicuddy

@all This will be the second time this week I've said this but anyway

"Judith! What's another word for engorged?"

phlox

@katiemcgillicuddy "Excuse me, have you seen The Feminine Mystique? I've lost my copy."

Drink All the Coffee

@yeah-elle It's never too late to make a killer 90s movie fanzine! I would totally carry that in the zine distro that I am daydreaming about starting when I move to Brooklyn.

I'M MOVING TO BROOKLYN NEXT WEEK YOU GUYS. From Texas. So excited.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@all <3 u, Hairpin. These movies are my happy place.

ImASadGiraffe

@phlox "Ooh, see that, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?"
"You're 18, you don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want 'til you're 45, and even if you get it, you'll be too old to use it."
"Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers."

I love this movie so so so so so much.

lamesauce

@phlox Thus the basis of its appeal!

Lexa Lane

"The shit hath hitteth the fan...eth."

I say that probably twice a week.

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@Drink All the Coffee Wooooo! I'm from Texas and I live in Brooklyn! Let's be expat buddies!

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@Daisy Razor "That was for my sister, that's for making my date bleed, and THAT'S for me."

sceps yarx

@realtalk clueless is my favorite movie of all time, completely un-ironically.

Atheist Watermelon

@realtalk a) I'm from TX and I just moved to Brooklyn! B) omg this thread just made my day , I LOVE that all of you can quote 10 things I hate about you so effortlessly!!! C) BEER FLAVORED NIPPLES

Queen of Pickles

Going on an Okcupid date in three hours. May the force be with me!

realtalk

@Queen of Pickles good luck! tell us how it goes!

iwannabekate

@Queen of Pickles <3 OkCupid -- success story: I met my boyfriend of 2.5 years on there, and we're moving in together in October!

Queen of Pickles

@Queen of Pickles Also, people in NYC should come to the 90's dance party at the Bell House tomorrow night in Brooklyn. Me and some ladies are going to go dance our pants off. Apparently it gets pretty great and awesome.

Plan for this weekend:
1. Walk dogs at a shelter
2. yoga
3. throw surprise birthday party for friend
4. take nap vacations while I do not think about how Ex is Seeing Someone New
5. get in a dance battle?
6. let my Chaos Muppet out (I have to stay disguised as an Order Muppet all week)

Queen of Pickles

@iwannabekate
Aw, that's wonderful! It's good to know there are some success stories, and not just hilariterrible stories (which are awesome in their own right, to be fair)

ayo nicole

@Queen of Pickles Ooh, have fun! I have one tomorrow and I have a lot of cute and sassy emails to live up to.

terrific

@Queen of Pickles Another OKCupid success story here! It can work! (I feel like I come out of the woodwork whenever OKCupid is mentioned.)

sarah girl

@Queen of Pickles To change it up a little, I had a not-so-great relationship from OKCupid a couple of years ago, but I'm currently in an ever-so-great relationship from OKCupid! It can happen!

iwannabekate

@Queen of Pickles Haha, the hilariterrible ones are almost more awesome - I once went on an OkC date with a guy who took me to a college-level debate tournament. Worst date ever, or worstest date ever?

George Templeton Strong

@iwannabekate A debate tournament. Wow. What was the topic? Was it something like "Resolved: This house believes that the Euro as a currency is fundamentally flawed and the Germans are quite right to consider abandoning the whole project altogether." Or was it more like "Fifty Shades of Grey, Yes or No?"

iwannabekate

@George Templeton Strong The former, definitely. Something about global military policy. It was riveting. CAN YOU HEAR THE SARCASM IN MY TYPING???? Holy moly, I could not get out of there fast enough.

George Templeton Strong

@iwannabekate Could have been worse. A gay male friend of mine met someone online and the guy said "meet me at [whatever address] at [whatever time]." My friend thought he was meeting this guy for a nice boozy Sunday brunch. Oh no, the location was his evangelical church, and the service lasted for about four hours. People were speaking in tongues. I can't remember if he mentioned snake-handling.

downcomforter

@Queen of Pickles Are you walking the dogs at Barc? Cause I used to do that all the time and it's so amazing.

dj pomegranate

@Queen of Pickles Ohhhh, I was thinking about going to the 90s dance party! But I have no one to goooooo witttthhhhh. :( If I go, can all the hairpinners please wear a secret symbol (like...a hairpin brooch?!) so we can find each other for dance offs?

Actually, I think this is a good idea dance party or no. Hairpin Secret Handshake.

Drink All the Coffee

@dj pomegranate 90s dance party sounds like so much fun! When I move to NYC next week I will def go to all the 90s dance parties with you!

dj pomegranate

@Drink All the Coffee Yessssss! All the 90s dance partiiiiies!

MrsTeacherFace

@Queen of Pickles I met my awesome husband on OkCupid 5 years ago! Good luck!

Danzig!

@Queen of Pickles Why do all the things happen when I'm out of town? :(

Queen of Pickles

@dj pomegranate
I have no hairpin brooch... or other brooches at all, really. :( I'd say what I was going to wear, but I haven't decided. Perhaps ridiculous tights with a short black skirt.

You should come anyway - it's supposedly the friendliest place! A lot of my different friend groups are converging tonight. I think it's also a great place to MAKE friends!

@downcomforter, no, the Sean Casey Animal Rescue in Ditmas Park!
http://www.nyanimalrescue.org/
It's great - it's not crowded like Barc.

And, the date... was so bad that I'm now rethinking OkCupid. The dude was polite, but the conversation was so boring that I was literally pinching myself to stay awake and thinking, panicked, "Don't fall asleep! Just nod! Nod at whatever he's saying!"

I think I might just need to go to parties and group events and talk to strangers. Which has worked for me before!

Queen of Pickles

@Queen of Pickles

Someone slap me and tell me to stop mooning over my ex! ...But a good slap, a Manzo-in-the-sleigh-during-a-blizzard slap.

Although, I guess asking for a slap is asking for trouble.

churlishgreen

NY-based 'Pinners: can anyone recommend a good yoga studio (preferably not Bikram or otherwise "hot") and/or a fun, dance-y cardio type class, in or around the Union Square area?

mystique

@churlishgreen I went to a place in St. Mark's Place called Yoga to the People! It was nice.

Gracefully and Grandly

@churlishgreen depends on what kind of yoga you like, but I'm a fan of Yogaworks. Yogavida is another option (not my fave, but if you like super flowy vinyasa it's worth a shot). Bija yoga is a small studio but really pretty with solid teachers. Yogamaya is another good one with a really beautiful space. Don't know anything about dance/cardio classes though - sorry!

Queen of Pickles

@mystique Yes to this!

Pros:
- Donation-based; mats cost $2 to rent, water is $1, free hair ties/tampons
- Studios are beautiful
- Non-judgmental/non-competitive
- People make silly sounds and you're encouraged to do so also
- Vinyasa yoga, non-hot, and it kicks your ass!

Cons:
- Going after work can be pretty crowded
- The smell of sweat is strong
- Classes are so large, they don't provide individual instruction

MailerMattDaemon

@churlishgreen A friend took me to some classes at the Djoniba Dance Centre on East 13th, and I had a lot of fun, even though I'm not usually very dance-y.

Lucienne

So, I start grad classes on Monday and I start TA-ing on Tuesday, and I am excited and terrified both (which I think is safe).

Also, I created an OKCupid account because I don't know anyone outside my department.

Lucienne

@Lucienne I mean, I know my cat. And I bonded with one dude at TA training, but I don't remember his name. So I guess I still need the OKC account.

billie_crusoe

@Lucienne Good luck! You're going to be great! (I start classes Wednesday and TAing Thursday.)

Lucienne

@billie_crusoe Thank you! You'll be great too. :)

like a rabid squirrel

@Lucienne Good luck! I start my new program in early September.

Lucienne

@olliegrace Thank you!

I saw down-thread that starting your PhD program is pretty stressful for you, and I just wanted to let you know that I moved 1800 miles away from all my family and friends, bringing lots of stuff but no real furniture except a bed. It was SUPER scary, and I cried for like twelve hours straight.

But then I got better. I think playing Kanye while I unpacked my books was what helped the most. Unpack your books first. They'll make it feel more like you're supposed to be where you are.

FurCoats&CinemaTropes

@Lucienne
Talk to the second years!
98% of the time, they're looking for new drinking buddies now that their older friends have moved on to jobs, the real world, etc.
Plus-since they've been here a while, they know all the good hairdressers/sushi places/watering holes.

Lucienne

@FurCoats&CinemaTropes Oh, yeah, it's a super friendly department, I just 1) haven't had much chance to socialize with the other grad students yet 2) think it would be good to meet people outside my field.

Charismatic Megafauna

I'm making eggplant pizza on the grill tonight.

area@twitter

This week reached new heights of surrealism when I was asked by my three older female coworkers- including my boss- to explain what teabagging was. I have never wanted so badly for a sinkhole to open beneath my feet. (I did finally tell them after much insisting on their part.)
And then there was the Ryan/Romney smut that happened in the Tebow post, so, yeah. Been a strange week.

plonk

@area@twitter I ALSO RECENTLY WAS INVOLVED IN MY SUPERIORS' CURIOSITY ABOUT TEABAGGING. however i am an american abroad, so i took it as one of the more unexpected of my duties as a cultural ambassador.

joie

@area@twitter that smut was nothing short of glorious. It actually made my entire week.

area@twitter

@plonk You know what was especially weird? My coworker, who's black, said she'd been told to ask a white person what it was. I was like "I can't even begin to guess on that one".
@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside I am delighted that you (and others!) seemed to enjoy that foray into Republismut. It makes me a little less ashamed of writing it.

Plant Fire

@area@twitter Oh woww that's awkward. I had to explain to my relatives what fluffing was once. To be fair, I made the mistake of bringing it up but I didn't think they'd ask!

area@twitter

@Sea Ermine It was after a particularly hellacious day, too; we were all sitting around totally exhausted, and then bam, blindsided by a teabagging question. I put my hand over my eyes and was like "you guys, I can't even, oh my god"

The Lady of Shalott

@area@twitter This past week my BFF's mom asked her at the dinner table "What's a boner?" due to the a language barrier. BFF said she wanted to crawl under the table and disappear.

billie_crusoe

@area@twitter My old supervisor called the Tea Party "teabaggers" in front of our undergrads. When we tried to put a stop to it, he said, "I don't want to know what that means; I'm too old!"... and continued using it.

area@twitter

@The Lady of Shalott HA! Languages, why you so crazy? Oh man. Once in college, a friend learned a little Thai from our buddy who'd grown up in Bangkok, and she tried to compliment the owners of a local Thai restaurant on their food. She apparently said it was "fucking delicious".

The Lady of Shalott

@area@twitter That's a hell of a compliment, though!

area@twitter

@The Lady of Shalott It was! It was a hell of a restaurant. Boy, I miss their udon noodles.

George Templeton Strong

@area@twitter But don't we all remember that the Tea Partiers themselves used to call themselves Teabaggers until someone clued them in about its drunken frat/closeted homosexual connotations? Remember those deranged wingnuts wearing hats with Lipton (or off-price Wal-Mart) tea bags hanging off them? It seems like it was only yesterday...

churlishgreen

@area@twitter I used to work for the Japanese Embassy as a political analyst. At one point I had to explain to my (all male) colleagues what a "zipper problem" was.

Leaving those kinds of episodes aside, though, it was great fun. We spent a lot of time on the etymology of slang. I also had to explain that "SHIP on his shoulder" was not a thing.

George Templeton Strong

@Sea Ermine I was in a supermarket years ago with one of my nephews and his mother and she said "So the Fluffernutter is on sale..." I looked away and desperately tried not to laugh. My nephew could not contain himself. The poor clueless mother said "so do you want regular peanut butter or this fluffier that you like so much? WHAT IS SO FUNNY?" I grabbed my teenage nephew and said "We're going to the meat department because of the sausages..." I am the best uncle ever.

Roxanne Rholes

@area@twitter Ugh, I had to explain "queef" to my parents. Terrible. Granted, it was my fault, but only kind of! If you are playing Scrabble and have the opportunity to use a hilarious "q" word on a triple word score, you can't just NOT!

George Templeton Strong

@Roxanne Rholes I have a similar story. One evening my eight-year-old self and my younger sister and my parents were playing Scrabble and I used the N to spell BONER. My mother was appalled. My sister didn't believe it was a real word and ran for the dictionary. I said "it is so a real word! I hear it all the time from the older kids!" My father lied and said "it is a real word. It's what the butcher does when he takes the bone out of meat. He's the boner." My mother had to leave the room because she was laughing so hard. I lost the game anyway; my sister got "quick" on the triple word score. I can't believe I even remember this. I can't remember my own cellphone number but I remember this.

backstagebethy

I got in to the Master of Liberal Arts program at my work/school! I will be back in the classroom as of Tuesday the 28th, and I'm both nervous & really excited--I keep thinking of potential topics that fit into my focus and I hope my advisor is not going to laugh at them. But it is FREE because I am an employee of the university.

AND I paid off a credit card this week. AND I painted two walls of my living room (but need someone to help me move the furniture away from the other two walls). I'm having a pretty great week.

sox
sox

@backstagebethy Dude. All the high fives!

ayo nicole

@backstagebethy You're totally killing it right now.

himay

@backstagebethy As a former single female and impatient painter, may I recommend "Sliding Robots" FTW. (How the eff do I make this a hyperlinked word?:) http://www.amazon.com/Handy-Trends-Sliding-Robots-Furniture/dp/B001MJVLIS/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1345230781&sr=8-5&keywords=moving+robots

Xanthophyllippa

@backstagebethy That is called "winning." :D

backstagebethy

@himay thank you, I'll check 'em out!

maybe partying will help

Because bad things have to follow good things, this week was The Bullshit.

Anyone want to talk about Keeping Up Appearances? Or the relative merits of Almanzo Wilder versus Cap Garland?

mystique

@maybe partying will help My mom loves that show! And, I don't remember Cap Garland. What did he do? I know I liked Almanzo Wilder's first name. Mainly I liked how the books described LIW's life as actually playing house.

The Lady of Shalott

@maybe partying will help I will always settle on while Cap might have been a nice piece, Almanzo was the more mature one and the better provider. And Laura loved him. And she probably would have gotten tired of Cap's ways. I imagine.

maybe partying will help

@mystique

Cap was a young rake in De Smet. He and Almanzo were the ones who went off across the prairie to get grain during the Long Winter. He was blond, if you like blonds.

I err on the Almanzo side myself, although having a fling with Cap probably would have been fun. Edit: or what Shalott said.

Nicole Cliffe

@maybe partying will help I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Almanzo Wilder would totally spend your mortgage money on magic beans. He could really have benefited from Suze Orman's column in O Magazine.

JanieS

@maybe partying will help You don't have to choose! They are both heroic and awesome (although I suspect that Cap was more fun at parties).

anachronistique

@maybe partying will help I keep confusing Cap Garland with Royal Gardner. Wrong red-herring beau!

royaljunk

@maybe partying will help "No, I will not send over another portion of deep-fried squid. This is not the Chinese take-away. You are connected to a private residence on a white, slimlined telephone with last-number redial facility."

My late grandmother WAS pretty much an American version of Hyacinth, and blithely loved watching that show without ever quite getting the joke.

Nicole Cliffe

@Nicole Cliffe OH, but I also have sympathy for him, because his father, reading between the lines of "Farmer Boy," apparently liked to occasionally snap and dish out vicious beatings to small children. It's not your fault, 'Manzo!

maybe partying will help

@anachronistique

There should totally be a Red Herring Beaux Club.

maybe partying will help

@maybe partying will help

The president of the Club can be Duncan McTavish, because he was an ACTUAL RED HERRING BEAU WHO BECAME A REAL BEAU WHAT EVEN

Road to Avonlea, amirite

thebestjasmine

@The Lady of Shalott Almanzo was a pretty crappy provider, though! I mean, Almanzo seemed like a lovely person, and the shelves in the house that he made for her were great, but they didn't do so well.

Bittersweet

@anachronistique Did Cap Garland get "positively corpulent"?

JanieS

@thebestjasmine Yeah it seemed like he was always jumping on to the Next Big Thing! But I don't think the droughts and the house-burning-down and the diphtheria and such can really be blamed on him, obviously.

Linette

@maybe partying will help

This may sound odd, but the moment I thought Manzo would be a better husband was when he and Laura almost died coming back from the schoolhouse in a snowstorm and he slapped her to keep her awake. I don't know why, but there was something about that moment where I thought, "These two kids are all the way in."

Cap Garland was a sexy fellow, though. I probably would have been the idiot who married him. And gone out dancing every night. Cap would've been a guy who danced with you all night long - and many, many other ladies.

JanieS

@Bittersweet Cap died in some sort of horrible farm machinery accident, when he was, like 25. ;_;

Bittersweet

@JanieS Oh, ugh, sorry. You can tell I spent more time at Green Gables than on the prairie.

area@twitter

@JanieS What?! NOOOOOOOOO! ;_;

lisma

@Bittersweet You mean like Roooooooooooy?

JanieS

@area@twitter @Bittersweet It's totally a bummer! I wonder if LAura knew about it when she wrote about him.

http://www.liwfrontiergirl.com/garland.html

yeah-elle

@maybe partying will help This is the BOOO-KAYYYY residence, lady of the house speaking.

Brunhilde

@Nicole Cliffe How nice was it of his sister to patch the wallpaper in the parlor when he threw the tar brush so that he didn't get beaten within an inch of his life?

ClogginBoydCrowder

@maybe partying will help YES! THIS MADE ME SMILE SO HARD! The sad background on Cap, though, keeps me from getting too much into this debate. However, I will say that it always seemed like Laura was into Cap more, and I was confused as to how she had "Wilder" as a last name.

Nicole Cliffe

@Brunhilde SO NICE. Even if she grew up to be a nasty teacher.

maybe partying will help

@all

After a weekend of no computering, can I just say that this thread is excellent, despite its bad news of Cap's horrible death (WHAT EVEN BOILER EXPLOSION).

ALSO. Eliza! Maaaaan. I always feel so torn about Eliza, because Laura thinks she's awful and she is a really terrifying teacher, but she was kind of a good sister--as noted--and she wanted to vote and stuff. Complex lady, Eliza.

anachronistique

It's my dad's birthday today! He is one of the greatest human beings I know: majored in philosophy but ended up becoming a computer and IT wonk, worked crap jobs for ages so my mom could be a professional museum, fabulous cook, does all the laundry, loves all kinds of music, interested in science and history, a voracious reader, and has a fabulous beard. I'm sad I'm not home to celebrate.

And MY birthday is next week! I unfortunately have to work but then I am making my friends buy me drinks.

Bittersweet

@anachronistique Happy early birthday! And happy birthday to your dad. My mom is another philosophy major-turned-computer wonk - what is up with that? And how is your mom a professional museum, because that is intriguing as all get-out.

anachronistique

@Bittersweet .......professional MUSICIAN. Whoops. I forgot to eat lunch, apparently that has led to me typing total gibberish!

And thank you!

cuminafterall

@anachronistique It's my dad's birthday, too, and he's also an IT wonk! Happy birthday to our wonky dads!

Inkling

@anachronistique
Ha ha, your mom is a museum.

Cat named Virtute

Also, friends, I am in a serious breakfast rut. I used to be a bowl'o'honey nut cheerios every morning gal, but lately when I wake up I don't want anything more than tea and a cookie, which leads to mid-day hanger. Ideally it should be something not too labour intensive and not cold like yoghurt and fruit, which is my other go-to breakfast. Maybe toast, but I have peanut butter and jam ennui. Even leftover cake is too sweet! Ugh, I am exasperated with myself.

backstagebethy

@Cat named Virtute what about an oatmeal cookie type thing? You can get them pre-packaged or just make up some oatmeal (raisin?) cookies and throw some Fiber One in there so they're more filling?

Says the girl who eats, like, off-brand Nilla Wafers and boxed iced coffee every day for breakfast...

charlesbois

@Cat named Virtute toasted cheese sandwiches? It's a nice switch and the cheese give you protein.

terrific

@Cat named Virtute I eat two eggs, sunny side up, every day. This means half the time I am admired because I am healthy, and the other half I am scorned because I eat too much cholesterol or whatever the newest Egg Scare is. But eggs are delicious!

thenotestaken

@Cat named Virtute It sounds weird, but savory oatmeal! Hot, easy if you use quick oats, and adaptable--I usually pretend its rice and put in a lil bit of sesame oil, soy sauce, maybe a little something spicy, and if I feel like a bit of extra effort I'll throw in some chopped green onion or fry an egg and put it on top. If you google it I'm sure there's million versions out there.

apples and oranges

@Cat named Virtute I like to make big batches of hard boiled eggs to eat for breakfast. But if you're not an egg person - no one says you have to eat breakfast food because it's the morning! You could slap together a turkey sandwich. Hummus and toast. Microwave dinner leftovers. For most of 4th grade I ate pasta for breakfast (thanks Mom and Dad). I also go through big spans of time where I am repulsed by food in the early morning. My stomach wakes up an hour or two after the rest of me. Sometimes I bring some snack-y breakfast things to work (yogurt, nuts, fruit) and ate them throughout the morning.

I have a lot of breakfast issues.

Blushingflwr

@Cat named Virtute I have these in my office: http://www.emeraldbreakfastonthego.com/
They are different blends of nuts/dried fruit. On my good days, I have a piece of fruit (or a popsicle) when I leave the house (15-minute walk to Metro) and then I eat one of the nut things when I get to work (about an hour later, omg I hate my commute). Sometimes it takes me all morning to eat the whole serving, but I find that protein is essential to a good breakfast for me.

apples and oranges

@thenotestaken Savory oatmeal, IT'S THE BEST! Black pepper and grated parmesan. Yum.

NeverOddOrEven

@Cat named Virtute
I love whole wheat english muffins with an over-medium egg and american cheese. It's quick since the muffin toasts and egg fries as I'm doing other things. Then I eat it on my bike ride to the bus.
I like my sleep. Multi-tasking!

romastrega

@Cat named Virtute Bake scones on the weekend & then grab & go one each morning. Half the batter and make one sweet (dried fruit?) and make one savory (cheese & bacon?) so you have a choice each morning depending on your mood.

StandardTuber

@Cat named Virtute WEIRD because I was thinking about asking ppl about their breakfast routines, too. I do oatmeal with berries and walnuts and honey, or Fage shakes. Eggs in a rare while, with mashed avocado.

anachronistique

@Cat named Virtute Mini muffins and a hunk of cheese?

charlesbois

@kangerine for at least a year in college I ate a turkey sandwich for breakfast every morning, and still feel the lure of it every once in a while

Gracefully and Grandly

@Cat named Virtute I love smashed avocado on toast for a quick breakfast - so easy to make and much more filling than just toast.

Queen of Pickles

@Cat named Virtue
I doubt you'll like this idea - nobody seems to except me - but, oatmeal? I change it up by putting different things in it each morning.

the little c

@thenotestaken
Or or or!
Bake the oatmeal in the oven with some olive oil and/or parmesan cheese, crack an egg over the top when there's ~8 minutes left of baking time, then when it comes out the egg is cooked but the yolk is still all delicious and runnnyyyyyy...
It's heaven. As opposed to all other types of oatmeal, which are mushy mushy torment.

plonk

@Cat named Virtute boiled eggs! my strategy is this: put two eggs in a pot with water; bring to a boil. once it's boiling turn off the heat and cover the pot. leave for 4-5 minutes, go wash face brush hair and whatnot. peel eggs, slice in half, salt and pepper and (CRUCIALLY) a nicer mustard.
in college my roommates and i ritualistically made sandwiches of english muffins, hardboiled eggs, mustard and sliced deli ham every morning, but i don't do it now because it makes me miss them.

area@twitter

@Cat named Virtute I've done breakfast bars (Nutrigrain type) and a strip of fruit leather for a long while. Hooray for food that can be eaten in the car (I know I should sit down and eat, but I'd rather get the extra 15-20 min of sleep).

thenotestaken

@kangerine OOOH I have a wedge of parm in my fridge right now!

Judith Slutler

@Cat named Virtute If it's a "I only want liquids in the morning" thing, maybe have some buttermilk or kefir or ayran? Um, unless you're lactose intolerant. That's my go-to breakfast thing when I just can't eat a big bowl of cereal or scrambled eggs or whatever.

PomoFrannyGlass

@Cat named Virtute I make this on Sundays and eat it for breakfast all week: http://budgetbytes.blogspot.com/2011/09/baked-pumpkin-pie-oatmeal-277-recipe.html

MilesofMountains

@hermione danger Toast with avocado, salt, and pepper and toast with cheese and tomato are pretty much my favourite breakfasts.

Although I've been trying to cut back on my wheat intake, so lately it's been a fried egg and sauteed spinach every morning or homemade granola.

NeverOddOrEven

@MilesofMountains
I like your style. I will definitely be trying both toasts in the near future.

Cat named Virtute

@all You are all so helpful! I think an egg/avocado/toast situation or a biscuit situation might be the solution here.

Cat named Virtute

@kangerine That's exactly it! My stomach has been waking up later than my body. Which, if I have time to make myself cheesy eggs on toast, is fine, but sometimes I have Things to do.

Megasus

@Cat named Virtute Get DIFFERENT TYPES OF NUT BUTTERS. You will not regret it.

parla

@plonk do/did you eat the hard boiled eggs warm? this is blowing my mind.

Xanthophyllippa

@Blushingflwr I LOVE the Breakfast-on-the-Go packet! My mom buys them for me and when I go home to visit, there's always a box or two wating for me. In fact I had the "breakfast blend" with glazed walnuts this morning.

Also, I agree with @kangerine -- no reason you can't eat other food for breakfast. One day this spring I woke up and wanted pizza, so that's what I had. I used to bring leftover homemade chicken pot pie for breakfast, too.

This is my new username

@Xanthophyllippa I personally like to eat Brie (or other cheese) and crackers and fruit for breakfast on a regular basis. I am a person that likes to eat breakfast when I get to work so this is a tasty, but convenient plan for me. This reminds me that I must get more Baby Bries from Costco very soon.

baked bean

@PomoFrannyGlass Dude I've made that. SO GOOD. So very good.

@Cat named Virtute I prefer saltier/savory breakfasts, but also have no time because I like to sleep too long. I made some of my mom's recipe for Ham and Cheese Muffins a while back, and they are yum. They're like drop biscuits but you make them in a muffin pan, and they have chopped ham, cheese, and I added green onion for fun and flavor. I froze them and then I can pull one or two out and microwave.

ClogginBoydCrowder

@Cat named Virtute butter on cinnamon raisin bread toast? butter and honey on regular toast? cinnamon sugar and butter on any damn toast you please?

Nicole Cliffe

My parents never let me blow bubbles in the house, so I was all MAH BABY CAN PLAY WITH BUBBLES IN THE HOUSE, and now there's a soapy film all over my couch, so, yeah, listen to your parents?

Lee Van Queef

@Nicole Cliffe Is this where we get to list all of the things that our parents never let us do? Because mine wouldn't let me whistle, blow bubble gum, or make out with "my-size" Barbie dolls. Those things were un-ladylike.

Nicole Cliffe

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas I couldn't watch "The Simpsons" or get grass-stains on my pants, but now I sort of appreciate that my stay-at-home-dad did about three loads of laundry a day for twenty years.

romastrega

@Nicole Cliffe I wasn't allowed playdoh/clay and once I was adult & I'd get creative and then discover all the dried gooey bits stuck to my rugs or sofa I suddenly understood why my mother said no all those years.

terrific

@Nicole Cliffe I couldn't watch "The Simpsons" or "Doug" or "The Rugrats" ("bad attitudes"). I also couldn't read Harry Potter without heaping levels of scorn.

My parents were religious.

Lustful Cockmonster

@Nicole Cliffe No tv during the school week except for a half an hour that my brother and I had to decide on together (The Cosby Show.) Now since the tv sucks me in like no body's business most nights, and I end up feeling like a lazy bum, I have to give my mom and dad props for that rule.

OhMarie

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas I think the worst thing my sister and I ever did was stand in the middle of the living room with a handful of Gak (what up early 90s) and spin around until all of the Gak was in specks on everything in the entire room instead of in our hands.

I am starting to want kids pretty badly, but my house is already so dirty I don't know how I'd handle it.

lobsterhug

@terrific Wait, what? Doug was like the biggest square and so nice to everyone. I can kind of see The Rugrats though. That Tommy was a trouble maker.

dabbyfanny

@Nicole Cliffe I wasn't allowed play-doh (but was allowed plastilene? No clue) or denim jeans until ten years old (instead, I wore nylon elastic waste pants that felt like synthetic cardboard UGH UGH UGH), or make up until about thirteen.

Lee Van Queef

@OhMarie Oh my goodness, that is so awesome. Not for your parents, of course.

If you have kids and you fear they'll take after you, maybe you need to take a look at this for preventative measures / coping strategies.

the roughest toughest frail

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas I wasn't allowed to chew gum because it wasn't ladylike! I also wasn't allowed to wear nail polish or tank tops until I was about 17-18 years old. Even now, when I wear "odd" coloured polish (green, blue, grey, etc. -- anything not neutral) I catch flak from my dad.

PistolPackinMama

@abetterfate we weren't allowed to say shut up or call people stupid. That was a good rule then, and not a bad rule now, I think.

cuminafterall

@dabbyfanny I was allowed play-doh. I molded it on top of the lightbulb in my nightstand lamp. My mother freaked, I guess because she thought it would cause a fire?

The other rule was no eating anywhere but at the dining table. That one's gone by the wayside since I left home, though.

Cat named Virtute

@lobsterhug You want to hear about ridiculous tv rules? When I was maybe four or five, my mom didn't let me watch Full House because she thought that the Olsen twins' character had too much of a smart mouth for a kid that age and she didn't want me to pick it up.

Inconceivably however, my brother and I were, however, allowed to watch Seinfeld with them for most of our childhood, which gave rise to my brother asking my mom what a "hamster doofus" was when Elaine called Kramer a hipster doofus. Hamster doofus has had a long life in our family.

Alli525

@Cat named Virtute I wasn't allowed to watch Mulan or Pocahontas because "they disobeyed their fathers."
Yet somehow Little Mermaid was ok.
Clearly I disobeyed my parents and watched both movies at sleepovers.

HeyThatsMyBike

@Nicole Cliffe We couldn't watch "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Top Gun" if my father was in the house.

dj pomegranate

@Nicole Cliffe We definitely were not allowed gum in the house, or play-doh, ever. No TV during the schoolweek, and no Simpsons because my mom thought the animation was terrible and it was "crude." I think I was 22 the first time I saw an entire Simpsons episode.

MrsTeacherFace

@dj pomegranate We weren't allowed to watch The Simpsons until my parents realized that keeping all four of us away from the tv in the family room when my parents watched The Simpsons was basically impossible.

ImASadGiraffe

@Nicole Cliffe No soda, no MTV or VH1 (my parents thought music videos were a bad influence), no Nickelodeon shows (my parents preferred PBS or Disney channel cartoons), no Simpsons, no rated R movies until I was 15. Only an hour of TV per day on school days and only 3 hours on weekend days.

Also, when the internet was a new thing, the rule was no more than 15 minutes a day. I think that was cost-related though, because you paid by the minute.

fuck fuck fuck

@everyone

wow, reading this thread is making me appreciate the incredibly laissez-faire parenting style in my house growing up. obviously new(/worse!) problems arise when your mom's buying you booze at 15, but at least i got to watch the simpsons!

Atheist Watermelon

@i'm a self-rolled manI had super weird libertarian hippie parents: I wasn't allowed to watch any Disney because my parents thought it would rot my brain (I'm inclined to agree with them now), pot smoking was OK but cigarette smoking wasn't, my sister and I were allowed to beat each other senseless but weren't allowed to lie. SO MANY WEIRD RULES

Blushingflwr

OMG I have been waiting for this for so long. I spent half the day trying to get the motivation to do my to-do list.

Also, 'Pinners: I am in need of advice. I have an ex-boyfriend with whom I am still on friendly terms. Last week he told me he was breaking up with his current girlfriend (of 5 years, or since before he and I technically broke up - looooong story). Then they didn't break up. Which is fine, except from the stories both of them tell it does not sound like a healthy relationship from either side. I do not know how to encourage them to end things. Complicating this is that the GF is unemployed and they cohabitate.

tearsforaffairs

@Blushingflwr you can't ever encourage people to break up even if they're in the most destructive awful relationship ever, and you know it and they know it and everyone knows that it's terrible idea. It's really hard to see people you care about do that: but the only way they will decide to break up is if they come to the decision on their own.

mystique

@Blushingflwr Wait until they ask for advice, then do something about it. Even then, they're not going to break up (or stay together) unless they want to.

Blushingflwr

@tearsforaffairs and @Mystique: yeah, I know you're right, but they have occasionally come to me to talk about it. Argh. I hate seeing people I care about be unhappy.

OhMarie

@Blushingflwr Oh, I have almost an exact version of this in my life--an old friend, my husband, and I went out for drinks and he told us allll about how he was breaking up with his girlfriend, all of the reasons, etc. Cut to now, 6 months later, he has not yet done so and now we have all of this dirt about how he may or may not still want to be with her. Bleh.

Blushingflwr

@OhMarie Ick.

The absolute worst part (for me) is that he apparently used our former sex life to hurt her in one of their fights.

baked bean

@OhMarie I had a friend like that sophomore year of high school. She never broke up with him. She was afraid to break up with him because she didn't want to hurt his feelings. Fast forward 6 years later and she's engaged to him and getting married this fall. All this time I thought she didn't want to be with him.

charlesbois

we bought a house! A nice colonial smack in the middle of the woods up a 1000 foot drive. We got it for a surprisingly very good price, like 23K less than they started at. Home inspection is tomorrow. Yippee!

backstagebethy

@charlesbois Yay! Congrats!

Porn Peddler

@charlesbois omg that sounds like such a dream!!! Congrats!

billie_crusoe

@charlesbois Wow! Congratulations!!!

lobsterhug

@charlesbois That sounds amazing! Best of luck tomorrow.

charlesbois

@charlesbois Thanks to you all! And oh my god, you should see the bathrooms. I'll basically be living in all the bathrooms. They are a symphony of tile and natural light and gorgeous stone masonry.

olivebee

@charlesbois Congrats!! That sounds like a beautiful house/location.

MoxyCrimeFighter

@charlesbois Where is this gem located?! That sounds beautiful; congrats and may you make many happy memories there!

lobsterhug

Oh my god, how is my wedding only a month away. I almost talked myself into getting an aisle runner and chalkboard signs today in my panic.

I'm also trying to talk myself down about the table settings. All I really need are a tablecloth, napkins, china, silverware, glasses, and a centerpiece you can see over. Right?

Lord, someone stop me from buying 1000 silk rose petals.

backstagebethy

@lobsterhug True story, I went to a wedding like 3 weeks ago and I don't remember any of the decor--I remember the color scheme, but not specifics. So you don't need to go overboard, because people just really wanna celebrate your happy occasion.

charlesbois

@lobsterhug are you paying for it? Tell yourself that money can be better used for a honeymoon, house payment, anything. Because no one is going to notice you don't have an aisle runner and chalkboard. What they do notice: food, drink, music, officiant, cute wedding party children and sometimes the flowers. Oh and the venue. And you of course! Everything else just blurs to the guests.

anachronistique

@lobsterhug FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T BUY THE ROSE PETALS. It's gonna be fine!

lobsterhug

@anachronistique Now I'm laughing hysterically.

@charlesbois and @backstagebethy That is what I tell myself in my stronger moments but then I start to second guess myself. It's good to have confirmation from an objective 3rd party.

Now to focus on things I do actually need, like thank you cards.

Lily Rowan

@lobsterhug Wedding, woo! Or more importantly: Marriage, woo!

Like backstagebethy said, I'm now thinking about it and I pretty much remember one detail from any given wedding. The rest is gravy! And then you're married.

EpWs

@lobsterhug Girl, all you really need is a spouse and an officiant. Everything else is gravy. (But seriously, DO NOT BUY THE ROSE PETALS. Or an aisle runner, when are you gonna use that again? <---this is not a great argument to use with wedding stuff, as you'll really use none of it again, and then you'll be getting married in a room with folding chairs and plasticware. WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE! But no one notices an aisle runner. Buy yourself a drink instead!)

lobsterhug

@Lily Rowan Yes! Marriage, woo! We are getting matching Batman rings. It will be legendary.

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I'd probably end up tripping on the damn runner and that would be all people remembered. I am totally going to start using that argument though. I've been getting lots of questions about favors from well-meaning friends and relatives who are helping with various things. I'm not doing them. It feels wrong somehow, but I'd rather not have to lug home pounds of unclaimed M&Ms in gauze bags.

I keep reminding myself that we are going to have great food and free booze. That will be plenty. Having a personalized thank you card/menu at every place setting is not going to make the event anymore enjoyable.

EpWs

@lobsterhug BATMAN RINGS OMGGGGGG
Fuck the favors, seriously. And don't feel bad about it. Have you ever gone to a wedding expecting favors/have you ever noticed if you didn't get one? Of course not. If people are there for gauze bags full of candy or some such, they're there for the wrong reasons. You sounds like you've got your head on straight about this whole thing (BATMAN RINGS!). It will be fine and it will be joyful and it will be lovely and it will BE OVER SOON. (By the way. Have you been over to A Practical Wedding? If not, scurry over. They are sane there.

lobsterhug

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Exactly. I've actually forgotten the favor at the last couple of parties I've been to that had them.

Yes, A Practical Wedding has been on my to-read list forever. I've heard nothing but good things.

MrsTeacherFace

@lobsterhug I hate favors the most of all wedding traditions. I didn't do them for our reception, and I never heard a word about it, so if they complained they kept it to themselves and then bought their own damn M&M's.

This is my new username

@MrsTeacherFace I don't hate favours, but I also do not see the point in them. That was I think one of the first things I decided I was not doing for our wedding for the sake of cost-cutting and also work-cutting.

baked bean

@lobsterhug I've offered this advice before, but I'm willing to offer my Wedding Plan Critiquing service at no cost. I will tell you what shit you can get rid of or change to something less stupid and less expensive.

lobsterhug

@baked bean That would be awesome! I've already done a couple of things to help, like no favors and borrowing linens from a friend instead of renting them. Though I just realized she won't have any for the bar and buffet tables. We aren't doing signs or any other of the other stuff that seems to be par for the course according to Pinterest (custom napkin rings, why? just why).

I'm doing my own flowers with some help from friends. Figuring out the flowers was the hardest thing because I wanted something cheap and pretty. I finally settled on garden roses, regular roses and carnations. I'm still torn on using greens.

I could go on (and on), but I have to get ready for work.

Bittersweet

@lobsterhug We also nixed the favors, and instead gave the centerpieces (potted plants with some nice flower in nice pots) to close family and friends as thanks. We focused limited resources on the most awesome food and booze we could afford. No one complained about the lack of favors.

Tuna Surprise

My boss asked me to speak at an industry conference. It's very daunting (I've never done speaking at a 'professional' level before) but it's a great opportunity for my career. Any advice on how to polish public speaking skills?

Also, I just booked a solo-adventure to Stockholm next weekend. I'm so excited. I would love any tips/advice because I've never been!!!

thenotestaken

@Tuna Surprise I haven't tried it but I've heard really good things about Toastmasters!

Congrats on your solo adventure! I've never done anything like that!

Blushingflwr

@Tuna Surprise practice, practice, practice. Know your material. Part of your practice should be getting yourself used to the time limit. My trick for that if I need to do it without visuals is to put on playlist in the background and have the last song be one I know really, really well that will trigger me to know I have 5 minutes left. But if you're working with a slide deck, have a watch or a clock handy and make sure you're half way through your slides when the time is half out.

districter

@Tuna Surprise Stockholm will be amazing. My only specific advice is go to Skansen if you love 1. animals, 2. history, and 3. great views. It is essentially an outdoor museum with historic archetecture and local wildlife.

Xanthophyllippa

@Tuna Surprise Definitely practice! And if you are in fact working with a slide deck, I would recommend storyboarding: print out a bunch of blank slides, then plan by hand with a pencil what you want on each one. Do this before you sit down with PowerPoint so that you don't try to cram your slides with ALL the things. And practice, especially with a timer.

I teach presentation classes, so if you want some more suggestions, ping me at the gmails and I'll see what I can do.

Judith Slutler

@Tuna Surprise AHHHH Stockholm is great. Södermalm is good to go to for window shopping / cafe things. If you like to walk around, don't even bother getting a transit pass because the old town is so teensy that it's just not worth it! However though, there is this amazing bike sharing system that is totally worth it if you get a 3 day pass or whatever, because if you head out toward like the yacht harbor you will be AMAZED how fast you zip right out of the city and into this beautiful, bucolic gigantic park area on the water. So if you are comfortable with urban biking in a pack of Swedish people that will range from bike messengers to old ladies with their little dogs in wicker baskets on their bikes, definitely do that.

Also the old Viking ship that they salvaged from the harbor is really cool, and the Moderna Museet is totally worth a visit, they have this amazing Calder mobile there that I wanted to steal and take home.

If you want to do some shopping for Scandinavian fast fashion, try Weekday and COS imho.

City_Dater

@Tuna Surprise

Find friends or colleagues who are willing to sit and listen to you in a simulation of your presentation format, so you can practice the non-verbal "conversation" you'll want to have with an audience. Most people new to public speaking are fearful of eye contact with listeners and try to avoid it, which is the exact opposite of what makes a presentation persuasive and interesting.

Bittersweet

@Tuna Surprise My biggest bugbear in public speaking is talking too fast, which inevitably leads to running out of breath and then starting to lose my voice. One of the best things a public speaking coach taught me is to slooooowwww down, and remember to breathe. That will also help you have a realistic sense of how long your presentation will be.

Oh, and also, don't feel the need to cram lots of info into the presentation or onto every slide! Hit the high points of what you want to say, in an interesting and enthusiastic manner. Your listeners will love you for it. (And if someone wants more details, you can always send them impressive data dumps after the conference.) Good luck!

Ophelia

@City_Dater Yes! Also, if there's any way you can do a trial run in a venue that's similar to the one you'll be in, that can really help. Like, if it'll be in a medium-sized conference room, practice it there so you can see what your voice sounds like. If it'll be in a big auditorium, ask your local high school if you can use theirs some afternoon to practice. etc.

MilesofMountains

@Tuna Surprise Practice with an audience. It's so much different than doing it on your own! Remind yourself to go slowly and move your hands around, it makes you look confident even if you aren't. Don't put too much info on your slides, it should be about 1 minute of talking per slide.

like a rabid squirrel

@Tuna Surprise Public speaking teacher here. The main things I'd suggest are practice in front of people (more than one person at once, preferably) and have them give you notes, don't put too much information on your note cards (enough so you remember what to say next, detailed transitions when you move on to another topic, but not a script of your speech), and keep in mind that being nervous is totally natural and that some nerves actually help you do better. Back when I did theater stuff one of my teachers told me to make myself nervous before auditions if I was feeling relaxed, and (though it seems counterintuitive) it's some of the best advice I've gotten.

Mira

@Tuna Surprise As other people have said, don't talk too fast, and don't read what's on your slides (if you have them, and if you do, print them out and note what you want to say with each one). It will get easier with practice.

The single thing that helped me most was realizing that if I'm talking to a group of, say, 300 people, 90 percent of them at any given point are thinking about peeing/where to get lunch/that hot lady by the buffet line/maybe their toenails are getting too long/calling their sister. I know this because that's what I'm doing 90 percent of the time I'm listening to someone else. Once I realized I was essentially talking to a large audience of attentive-looking masks, it calmed me down a lot. You'll do great!

Xanthophyllippa

@Mira "A large audience of inattentive-looking masks" is PERFECT! That's exactly what's going on.

When I teach my presentations class, I remind students of all that - it's not that the person in the front row hates you and wants you to fail; it's that he just broke up with his girlfriend and is miserable and that's why he's glowering. Or some such.

Mira

@Xanthophyllippa Totally! As a person with natural resting bitchface myself, I always assume that someone glaring at me is actually just thinking about something else. (Even though sometimes they are, in fact, glaring at me.)

Bonus if you're speaking in another country; you'll lose half your audience with your accent before you've even started.

Xanthophyllippa

@Mira Oh man, you're 2-for-2 on the descriptions today: "natural resting bitchface" is totally me. Are you me? I'm sitting at lunch with someone and all of a sudden they're like, "Did I do something? Because you look mad at me." Or, "You're not going to throw up, are you?" So I guess my range of expressions goes from bitchface to queasy and that's it.

NeverOddOrEven

I hate my co-workers because they are either dumb and inconsiderate or actively trying to make my life hell and waste all my time.

But at least this beauty is on it's way to me right now. http://www.brooklynindustries.com/bags-handbags/equestrian-tote-bag

NeverOddOrEven

@NeverOddOrEven
Also, T-minus 10 days until my surgery! Then I will take all the showers.

NeverOddOrEven

@NeverOddOrEven
Also also! If any of you are in need of cheering up, allow me to once again call your attention to Epic Rap Battles of History.

I can't link as I'm at work, but YouTube that shit. For real.

lobsterhug

@NeverOddOrEven Unf, that bag is amazing. This store may be the end of my bank account.

NeverOddOrEven

@lobsterhug
Right?! And it's on sale. I keep looking it up and staring at it longingly.
I just hope it's a strudy as it looks. I always buy cheap bags and then destroy them with the heavy shit I lug to work, so this is a bit of an investment and departure for me.

Xanthophyllippa

@NeverOddOrEven I misread that as "starting at it loungingly" and envisioned you draped over a chaise, gazing upon your bag.

NeverOddOrEven

@Xanthophyllippa
There's an ad campaign if there ever was one.

Which there has been. Many.

BucketsOfCool

Yay to life! I must share: my brother and his partner were accepted as adoptive parents to two little boys! Eeeee! I am an aunt! Also, I will be officially moved into to my boyfriend's house as of tonight. Sometimes change is good, who knew?!

Nicole Cliffe

@BucketsOfCool Mazel tov!!

ThundaCunt

@Nicole Cliffe ahhh!!!! SOOO HAPPY FOR YOUR BROTHER!!! Amazing, amazing, I LOVE IT!!

olivebee

@BucketsOfCool That is amazing! I love happy adoption stories. Congrats on being an aunt!

BucketsOfCool

@olivebee Thanks!! I am thrilled beyond belief. I just want to buy all the things and take them everywhere and make them love me! I am trying to decide on great 'Welcome' gifts. (It's way more fun than working!)

EpWs

@BucketsOfCool TWO? YAY! That is so incredibly exciting! When do they get to come home, do you know? (And how old are they, if you don't mind me asking personal questions? EXCITEMENT!) Happy aunting!

BucketsOfCool

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher They came home this afternoon. So they are there AS I TYPE. They are a 18 months and 3.5 years! I keep getting updates from brother but none have included pictures and I am sitting here grinning and online shopping. It's probably good I'm not there as I am starting to overwhelm even MYSELF!

EpWs

@BucketsOfCool Yeeeeep! That is awesome! Yay for your entire family! (Also: good gifts: BOOKS, girl. The 3.5 year old will be reading soon if he's not already. Get going on that library.)

BucketsOfCool

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Yes! My brother is a librarian, so BOOKS ALWAYS. This day = :D

Danzig!

@BucketsOfCool Sweet news! Bully!

Porn Peddler

Writing long form fiction is hard, you guys. And thrilling and exciting and engaging and IT'S LIKE I AM MEETING THIS PEOPLE AND GETTING TO KNOW THEM, but also I have done a lot of banging my head on a desk lately.

Related note: do y'all know of any non-shitty tattoos that incorporate wood patterns or wood carving tools? RIDICULOUSLY SPECIFIC, I KNOW.

And here's a treat for your eyes: Ricki. Fucking. Hall.

Porn Peddler

dont you want to scratch your inner thighs
on his face
*tada~~*

edit: THESE PEOPLE noticed that like, as soon as it was too late to fix.

questingbeast

@Porn Peddler Haha, I read that as 'Rich Hall' first time, I was like, 'each to their own?... I guess?'. But yes, nice!

Porn Peddler

@questingbeast the v...the v...I can't.

yeah-elle

@Porn Peddler Holy Shit. Who is this??????????

Porn Peddler

@yeah-elle Some british model! I KNOW, I KNOW. He's also extremely friendly on twitter and responds to every last mention of his name. DID. YOU. SEE. HIS V LINES. oh god let me put my mouth on them *cries*

ayo nicole

I got a couple of fillings on Tuesday. When am I gonna be able to eat crunchy things again? :(

Porn Peddler

@ayo nicole ....i had no idea there was any delay on eating crunchy things after getting fillings?

The Lady of Shalott

@ayo nicole Last time I got fillings it took me three or four days before I was really really comfortable eating crunchy things? But I feel for you, it really sucked eating soft things. I was sick of it.

The Lady of Shalott

@Porn Peddler When I get them, it's because my teeth/jaw are sore from being cracked open. It hurts to eat the hard things.

dabbyfanny

@The Lady of Shalott I learned to always request a bite block. It's basically a wedge to keep your mouth open so you can relax your jaw. Next to no pain afterwards, and way less stress. You're welcome!

The Lady of Shalott

@dabbyfanny That is genius.

The Lady of Shalott

Oh my goddd guys, on Monday I'm going to visit my boyfriend's family for a few days. His mom is SO PRETTY, you guys. And his dad and brother and 80-year-old grandmother who speaks no English. I'm scared!

And in TWO WEEKS I leave to move in with him. LIFE CHANGES ARE SCARY. So in order to distract myself I just keep Pinning stuff on Pinterest. Share! Enable me! Let me follow you and therefore continue procrastinating!

charlesbois

@The Lady of Shalott oh i just checked out your pinterest and I have a board called "boring crap" but it's baby stuff, not wedding stuff! I'm sure if I had been aware of pinterest when I got married, my wedding board would have been labeled "stupid crap" or something similar. What I'm saying is I love it!

charlesbois

@The Lady of Shalott also good luck with the things! Objectively, it sounds kind of fun, meeting those folks, but I understand getting the scareds.

The Lady of Shalott

@charlesbois I feel a little bad because I legitimately thing all the stuff on that board is extremely stupid, but...well, it's a free country, and I'm allowed to say that I dislike it. Because I do!

Plant Fire

@The Lady of Shalott Oh I'm obsessed with pinterest. Mine is here: http://pinterest.com/onlineshadowbox/ . Also I love the whale pillow you pinned! It's so cute!

charlesbois

@Sea Ermine @The Lady of Shalott mine is http://pinterest.com/charlesbois/

if you feel like looking a bajillion pictures of house ideas and maybe some other stuff

Plant Fire

@charlesbois House ideas are my favorite things to look at on pinterest.

EpWs

@The Lady of Shalott Youuuuuu got this, promise! You will wow the boyfriend's family, and then you will rock the moving and moving-in! And then you can DECORATE. How awesome will that be? ALL THE AWESOME.

This is my new username

@The Lady of Shalott I definitely had a drink before I went to meet my boyfriends parents (and also his grandparents and all his siblings) because of the nerves. In the end they they all turned out to be lovely and awesome and now I like them lots and am super happy that they will become my in-laws! I get grandparents again! It's exciting!

sarah girl

I am acquiring a new cat next week!! My parents have a very sweet stray kitten (~2-3 months old) who's been living in their yard for the past month or so, but they can't take in another pet, so I'm stepping up. I'm so excited!

However, I already have a cat, about 6 years old. Any tips on introducing the two to each other? I've heard that it's easier to introduce an adult and a kitten than two adults, but I'm still nervous that he's not going to accept the new sibling!

Nicole Cliffe

@Sarah H. Kitten in own room! Let old cat sniff under door! Then, trade rooms. Repeat for two weeks, decide it's a hassle way before that, hope for the best.

olivebee

@Sarah H. Exciting! I second Nicole's advice. It also depends on the temperament of your current cat. But, in general, any initial hissing or growling or slapping will go away in time. My first cat took 3 months to allow the second cat in the same room as her. Now they sleep together. Good luck with your new kitty!

Ophelia

@Sarah H. What's the gender of the kitten?

sarah girl

@Ophelia My parents aren't sure - I don't think they know how to check. Although I just did a quick Google search (that I probably shouldn't have done at work but oh well) and it doesn't look tooooo difficult to figure out, so I might send them a link and have them check it out!

So essentially, don't know, but why? Does it change how the cats might socialize?

dale

@Sarah H. Two girls *can* be fireworks, but that's not written in stone. If someone already has a girl cat, we usually recommend a boy cat (and if they have a boy cat, we suggest that either will work). It's just a guideline, not a hard and fast rule, and it's dependent too on your current cat's personality.

sarah girl

@dale Hmm, interesting. My current cat is a boy cat - if kitten is also a boy, would that be okay?

dale

@Sarah H. Yup. Unless yours was super-aggressive or extremely possessive (of you, of toys, of food) then all should be just fine. The (boy) foster I had to reintroduce to mine (after his forever home turned out to be temporary) has as his best friend my boy cat. Sure, they poke at each other from time to time but they can also be found snuggling on the bed, and hugging each other as they walk around the house.

Plant Fire

I posted this last week but it was late so I thought I'd try again:

Hey NYC pinners! I just moved here (technically this summer but I was visiting a lot of people and only just settled down in mid July) and have no idea how to people people. Even though I've moved a ton before I always either went for school or knew people who lived there already or both...except for now. I'm not sure really how to go about finding friends or cool people to hang out with (if you have tips of what worked for you let me know!) so I figured I'd ask here. Plus, this way if this post is super lame I am at least shrouded in anonymity thanks to the internet.

Anyways, I'm 22 and live in Jackson Heights and play the saxophone and like to sew/craft and cook and dance. If any one of you recently moved here or have lived here forever but want to meet new people or meet up somewhere (coffee, bar, museum, whatever) just email me at seaermine at gmail dot com and maybe we can do something?

terrific

@Sea Ermine Join our NYC Facebook group! (https://www.facebook.com/groups/nychairpinners/) We do fun things and there are quasi-semi-regular Astoria meetups!

Plant Fire

@terrific I'm in it! I've been to the book club and the pinup that was after it and one of the Astoria meetups and they're fun I just don't know how to transition from that to like...meeting people outside of meetups?

Blushingflwr

@Sea Ermine My experience (not in NYC, but in DC) is that it is most helpful if you can find something that meets on a regular basis (ideally weekly) and go to that. That way you get regular contact with people and you can figure out who in the group is your people without awkward friend-dates.

terrific

@Sea Ermine Ah I think I've met you! I'm sending you an email.

meetapossum

@Sea Ermine Come to kickball in Astoria this Sunday! Everyone is awesome and friendly!

Anyway, honestly? I met most of my friends at bars.

Plant Fire

@Blushingflwr Oooh that's smart. I was thinking of taking dance weekly classes in the fall, maybe that will work for this!

Danzig!

@Sea Ermine I sent you an email! I have a feeling of deja vu like maybe we were in this situation a month or so ago and I sent a similar email then. Regardless, yes! Email me if you foresee being bored an woul like to take corrective measures (I cannot 100% guarantee that I'm not boring. I cannot 100% guarantee I won't use double negatives either), or hit us up via FB. I'm John, I'm the group.

romastrega

I just got off a 45 minute phone interview & I feel like I nailed some questions and totally flailed on another one. :-( I really want this job and am starting to stress out about being unemployed all year long.... job hunting sucks.

Danzig!

@romastrega Fingers crossed 4 u

StandardTuber

Please tell me where you're looking around online for good information/entertainment/miscellany. I am burned out on my current websites, save this one and NPR. Thanks!

cosmia

@Mabissa For general entertainment stuffs (but good entertainment, not like, "What is Kim Kashardian doing NOW?!" entertainment), I like Vulture and The AV Club!

Lit Drunkard

@Mabissa I spend way too much time on Tumblr, but Colossal is great, Flavorwire is great for killing time (though all the lists get repetitive after a while), and Nerdist is fun. Buzzfeed will kill all your time, and Craftgawker is nice every now and then.

Looking at this, I'm realizing I spend too much time online

Scandyhoovian

@Mabissa Hahaha I was all prepared to answer this the way I answer it if people ask me NOT on the hairpin: "I'm always on the hairpin!"

And then I realized where I was. Alas. Tumblr is always good for time wasting?

romastrega

@Mabissa Boing Boing! And Mental Floss, Videogum, and seconds on Vulture & AV Club!

EpWs

@Mabissa I'm a big fan of The Daily What!

JadedStone

@Mabissa
televisionwithoutpity.com
katstories.tumblr.com
dearcoquette.com
cakewrecks.com

oh god i love the internet.

sydwi

@Mabissa http://tywkiwdbi.blogspot.com/ is my favorite. It's pronounced Tie-wiki-widbe, and stands for "Things you wouldn't know if we didn't blog intermittently." Love!

StandardTuber

@sydwi Thanks people! These are great, keep em coming please!

This is my new username

@Mabissa I know you said you already look at NPR, but I love the Monkey See blog on NPR for pop culture stuff(http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/). Linda used to write for televisionwithoutpity.com and she is interesting and funny and they do the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcasts which are interesting and fun and full of good recommendations. They end each one with a segment called 'what's making me happy this week', which gives a clue to the mostly positive tone they set for the podcast.

StandardTuber

@This is my new username Thanks for the tip!

Peanut

@This is my new username I love PCHH! I second this rec wholeheartedly.

Danzig!

@Mabissa I usually turn to podcasts. Some worth listening to:

Reasonable Discussions (AV Club)
How Was Your Week w/ Julie Klausner
This Feels Terrible
Throwing Shade (recent MVP)
In Our Time
The History of Rome
Firewall & Iceberg (TV blabbing)
Opinionated (co-hosted by a bro of mine)
Savage Love (included because I liked it for a long time but after a few years I've disowned Dan for his persistent negative qualities. Grey rape, etc)

Etc!

This is my new username

@Peanut Yeah! PCHH is the best! I knew there had to be at least one other hairpinner that liked it! Actually now that I am thinking about it, I am pretty sure PCHH was actually how I discovered The Hairpin...

ThundaCunt

Welp, today might possibly be my last day at my job i had for 4 years. The kids go back to school and that includes my inhouse babysitter for the past 4 years, my babydaddy. So glad he is starting somthing new to get a degree and a career, terrified that daycare costs more than our rent!! I am seriously contemplating a night job and staying home with my youngest myself!! It would be sooo awesome because i havent had the luxary of all day finger painting, or cookie making with my last lil baby that i will ever have!! but terrified the paycut would hurt us terribly!!! AHHH!!!! i want it allll!! Why can't i have it all!??

billie_crusoe

Coworker told me today that the Be Good Tanyas are coming to our local (4 hours away) hippie music festival, and I'M SO EXCITED, I can't stand it. They've been on hiatus since I saw them in 2007, and I'm so very psyched; October seems faaaar away. The first person I called was my dad, to see if he wants a ticket; I'm old enough now that that's not a lame thing to do, right?

Xanthophyllippa

@billie_crusoe I'd LOVE it if either of my parents wanted to go see a concert with me, so no - not a lame thing to do.

PistolPackinMama

@billie_crusoe The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs, yo.

MilesofMountains

@billie_crusoe Jealous! I love the Be Good Tanyas!

questingbeast

@billie_crusoe OH MY FUCKING GOD I didn't realise they were off hiatus until I read this, and they have a collection with two new tracks out!!! Aaaaaah. (They are one of my favouritest bands ever!)

billie_crusoe

@questingbeast MY REACTION EXACTLY. The BGTs was one of the best shows I've ever seen (second only to Patty Griffin at Mountain Winery).

@MilesofMountains Keep your eye out! They have dates all over the US, and maybe I also heard that they're planning some international dates?

Someone stole their banjo at this festival in 2007, so I'm glad they're still coming back!

Reginal T. Squirge

@billie_crusoe

Their cover of "Waiting Around To Die" is the greatest thing ever.

cosmia

BOYFRIEND SAID HE LOVES ME YOU GUYS! This is a huge deal for me, since he doesn't throw the word around lightly - he had an emotionally abusive ex who would demand he say it constantly to her and then tell him that she wasn't sure she loved him. He's also just not an "I love you" kinda guy, you know? The fact that he trusts me enough to be that honest with me is turning me into a big crumbly pile of goo.

Plant Fire

@cosmia That's so perfect and wonderful and sweet!! I'm happy for you two : )

Queen of Pickles

@cosmia Did you say it back??

iwannabekate

@cosmia WahoooOOoo!! That first ILY is so surreal, enjoy it :)

cosmia

@Queen of Pickles Yes! I've been saying it in a dopey way for awhile just to test the waters ("I THINK YOU SHOULD PASS THE BRIE BECAUSE LOVE") but it was awesome to be able to just say it and know he feels the same way!

BucketsOfCool

@cosmia So fun and exciting and butterfly-y! Perfect!

olivebee

@cosmia Yay, exciting!! The feeling in your stomach...you'll never forget it.

dabbyfanny

@cosmia I keep seeing you post things that make me wonder if you are a dear friend of mine. Her boyfriend said the words this week for the first time, too. Congratulations, anyway! <3

cosmia

@dabbyfanny I don't think I am this friend, because The Hairpin is actually the first person(s) I have told! I haven't even told my best friend yet because I want to tell her in person, lol. But yay, congrats to your friend as well!

questingbeast

@cosmia Hurray! That is the best week's news to have!

dj pomegranate

@cosmia I am going to try out your suggested phrase, "I THINK YOU SHOULD PASS THE BRIE BECAUSE LOVE" I like the way it sounds.

Mad as a Hatter!

I just bought tix to see Ben Gibbard in Chicago this November!!!

sarah girl

@Mad as a Hatter! Yay! He is great live, I saw him a few years ago :)

Mad as a Hatter!

@Sarah H. Yeah, I saw DCFC in Indy in 2008, and they were fantastic, so I know this will be a great show. I'm not sure if I'll take anybody with me, it's OKAY to go to shows alone, right?

sarah girl

@Mad as a Hatter! I actually went alone when I saw him! It was quite lovely and relaxing, really; I got there early so I could lean against the barrier at the front of the stage with my beer, no need to make awkward small talk or worry about keeping a group together; just doing my own thing. I recommend it!

realtalk

@Mad as a Hatter! Not only okay, but it can be awesome! I make a lot of concert friends usually, but if that's not your jam, then you can revel in how you can stand anywhere you want, get a drink at any point, and generally not have to take anyone else's needs into consideration.

olivebee

UGH. I have spent the latter part of a week listening to my one co-worker (who drives everyone at my office insane for a multitude of reasons) talk about her new shoes. She bought some Louboutins (that are really ill-fitting, but that's beside the point), and then proceeded to, without provocation, tell every single co-worker who walked by her desk (which is often, as she sits next to the kitchen) about them and how amazing they are and, I kid you not, HOW MUCH THEY COST. She just keeps talking about how they were $700 and that every girl should have a pair of designer shoes, so she just took the plunge and that she's 'a shoe person' and on and on and on and on about the fucking shoes. She is not wealthy, mind you, and lives at home. There is nothing wrong with either of those facts. I only point it out because she talks non-stop about how much money she spends on shit (much like a Rich Kid of Instagram might). My office is super casual, and mostly men, so everyone she is telling could not care less about the shoes. Then today, she had a client meeting, and (once again, without being asked) brought up the shoes and their fucking price. The client responded, "Whoa, I wish I worked here." (We don't make any money, so no you don't, client.) I am sorry for the long rant....I just cannot even believe someone would be SO TACKY and so socially inept.

tearsforaffairs

@olivebee I can understand how that might be horrible to put up with, but I also understand how she might just be super excited about her shoes? Like, I bought one pair of Prada shoes once, on sale, but they were still several hundred dollars, and I felt like telling everyone about them and how much they cost (of course, I didn't). It's the sort of thing where maybe you save up forever for one fancy thing and then want everyone to know about it?

olivebee

@tearsforaffairs Yeah that crossed my mind. But there is a time and place for that (among friends, mainly). It also might be that I grew up without a lot of money, and I currently don't have a lot of money, so I find it so rude and so gauche when people talk about it to anyone and everyone within earshot.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@olivebee
Holy shit in front of a client? That's insane. I could see firing someone for that, it just shows such poor judgment.

Bittersweet

@olivebee Yes, there is a time and place for that...and it's definitely not with a client. Ack.

stuffisthings

@olivebee I got a pair of Allen Edmonds shoes that retail for $330 at a thrift store for liek $17, and I announce this fact to everyone who comments on them. Which is terrible in its own way. (Also, I am a [straight] dude.)

frigwiggin

@stuffisthings I would go on about that if I had thrifted some Allen Edmonds shoes for my boyfriend! Geez louise, those suckers are pricey (but quality). He has two pairs and they cost as much as our monthly rent.

olivebee

@stuffisthings At least those people are commenting on your shoes. Bringing up your shoes to everyone who walks into your airspace? Different story. Plus, I don't blame you for celebrating a fabulous deal. Talking about how cheap something was is, well, the opposite of talking about how expensive something was.

Poubelle

@stuffisthings That's worth bragging about, though. Also, props to you & your bargain-hunting skills.

adorable-eggplant

@olivebee I have a similar situation (about which I am going to be verrry vauge) but let's say it isn't shoes, but something else expensive. Anyway, I think it can also stem from insecurity. Like the metamessage might be something like, "I feel intimidated by this situation or you, so I am going to go out of my way to talk about this thing where I have an edge." Maybe? It's mystifying behavior.

I've been trying to deal with my friend's inappropriate (weirdly repetitive) habit of bring up this pricey item, by making subtle comments that might clue her in (for example, me: "My less expensive version doesn't have X feature, but it is pretty reliable and I'm happy with it. [subtext: "Stoooooop trying to convince me mine sucks and yours is awesome. I geeet it."]) But it just makes it worse because then she follows up with, "Ohhh but you don't even realize how amazing X feature is." Arrrrrggghhh.

So I was talking to my bf who had the observation that I needed to commit to one of two extreme plans (nicknamed "hammer" and "no-hammer"). In the hammer plan, I would come out swinging and say all the things that I want to like, "Whoa, it's inappropriate to talk that way in front of clients." and "You know that you sound like a big, elitist Bee when you say that, right?" which would feel sooooo good, but might be destructive to my friendship. In the no-hammer plan, I just say 'uh-huh' a lot.

As it is, I've been trying to whack her into sense with a feather and it's been frustrating and counter-productive. So I'm going to start no-hammer plan this week and continue it until she gets the hint.... so forever. :(

adorable-eggplant

@olivebee Also, I'm from the south, and I feel like in my particular neck of the woods, we don't talk about the price of things ever. Like any time I want to mention how much something cost, even along the lines of 'omg, this latte was five dollars: inflation, it's crazy, amiright?', I can feel the ghost of my grandmother shooting icy rays of disapproval at me. So maybe it's a cultural thing?

Xanthophyllippa

So these strawberries and the food article made me remember that I haven't cleaned out my recipes in a while. Anyone looking for new food to make and interested in getting an envelope of random recipes in the mail? Mostly pulled from "Cooking Light" and Epicurious - it's just stuff I thought I would make and never have.

Lily Rowan

@Xanthophyllippa Ooh, I totally am! I am needing to get out of a food rut. Email boston dot hairpin at the gmail? THX

buttercup empire

@Xanthophyllippa Oh meeeeeeeeee. Please! I keep making the same things over and over again. Its getting ridiculous.

Xanthophyllippa

@buttercup empire Cool! Send me an email (and any dietary restrictions, natch) and I'll get some together for you.

JessicaLovejoy

GUISE. THE WORST HAS HAPPENED.

All the fun Daily Mail subheadings are gone! Now they say stupid things like "preparing for role" and "spent weekend in San Tropez."

The world is a darker place. :(

laurel

@JessicaLovejoy: Noooooo

camanda

The underwire on my push-up bra poked through the side of the bra a while ago, which broke my heart because I love this bra (even though as a D-cup I hardly need it). A few days ago I got sick of not wearing it and ripped the wire out. Now I can wear the bra again. It's the little things!

I also went to dinner by myself last week and started reading Ian W. Toll's Six Frigates: The Epic History of the Founding of the U.S. Navy. It is REALLY GOOD. I need to stop kidding myself that I didn't buy my Kindle exclusively to read books about boats with big guns on them, and just give in and do that exclusively.

Ophelia

@camanda In similar bra news, Gap makes these non-underwire t-shirt bras that are awesome. I think they only go up to a C-cup, but for those who wear one, I highly recommend.

sox
sox

@camanda Uhhh, I have a heather gray bra that is the perfect neutral but is over 10 years old and one of the underwires came out a few weeks ago...and I still wear it? With only one underwire?
What is wrong with me?

Summer Somewhere

@camanda You guys, blowing $300 on 3 Nordstrom bras was seriously the best thing I have ever done for my boobs, and I'll do it again when these wear out.

camanda

@Ophelia Underwires are the worst. I need to start looking into underwire-less bras. Or just ripping it out of my bras.

@sox Nothing is wrong with you! I totally kept wearing this bra with one underwire until the other one popped out the other side (a mere hour or so after my original comment, natch). Now it has no underwires.

@Summer Somewhere OH MAN. Why is the only Nordstrom in this state in Providence? In good news, though, they're opening a Nordstrom Rack in the mall I work in this November. Well, maybe it's not good news since I work for a competitor, but, uhm, fuck it. BRAS.

Inkling

Sorry to be a huge pain, but this came to my attention and I was wondering if anyone could help. The government is being a dillhole (WHERE IS MY SURPRISED FACE) to Native Americans, but maybe we can help them buy their land back?

http://www.indiegogo.com/PeSla-LakotaHeartland?c=home

For anyone who wants to look, this is really important and really I think it's doable!

Danzig!

@Inkling Sharing this!

Inkling

@Danzig!
Thanks, brother!
It went up like $11,000 in the past couple hours, so hopefully they can make the goal in time. Even if you're really poor, you can still be super cool and give them a dollar. Stick it to the damn government for just a dollar!

Lit Drunkard

Help! I'm trying to Moab tomorrow from Denver for the weekend (which ends up being about 18 hours in Moab). Any place I must stop on the way? Things to do in Moab? I'm traveling with a friend who doesn't hike or go outdoors much so... gentle would be best.
Most importantly, what should I listen to during the drive?!

Roxanne Rholes

@Lit Drunkard A bunch of my family lives in Moab and I SUPER love it there! If you friend is really not into the outdoors stuff, maybe take a drive up to the LaSal mountains for a picnic? It's going to be super hot in town, so anywhere with elevation will cool you off a bit. Also, driving around Arches you can see a lot of amazing stuff and go on short walks and then hop back in your nice air conditioned vehicle. If you like beer, go to the brewery and get a Scorpion Pale Ale. Hella yummy!

Lit Drunkard

@Roxanne Rholes We had been talking about doing a mix of driving and walking (confession- I hate being in cars), since I feel it's a bit silly to drive to beautiful things. I think we might go for an easy walk/hike Saturday, and a drive/walk Sunday.

Brewery though! Pale ale! You know where my heart is!

Lily Rowan

Hey Boston, I'm going to get back on a Pinup maybe next week, so keep any eye on the google group situation! And/or give me suggestions of things to do and places to go!

Daisy Razor

@Lily Rowan Yay! (Nothing useful. Just yay!)

Roxanne Rholes

@Lily Rowan like, like, like.

anachronistique

@Lily Rowan HUZZAH!

iknowright

HELP. Backstory: My parents are going through an ugly divorce. I am/always have been close to my mom. My dad was the not-as-good-at-being-a-parent parent (and also generally less responsible/a bad listener/sort of angry guy). He left her and is the one being difficult with the divorce (refusing to agree to to terms he originally ok'd, costing them both thousands of dollars). I have tried to be impartial but I talk to her everyday, always have, and not as much to him, though I do try to reach out/keep him updated on things that are important in my life. I feel a lot of guilt with him, simply because I am not like him and often do not like him. But I wish I did! I really do! And I try very hard!

Anyway. Last week I found out he has a girlfriend (for at least a few months) through facebook (his gf commented on his picture, I looked at her totally public page and he's listed as "Partner" under Family). Through FB I also discovered that they've gone on a trip together, making it the first time he's traveled somewhere in about 8 years (he never visited me in undergrad/abroad/in grad school/where I live now, despite multiple invites from me).

So, do I have a right to be hurt? Am I right to think he is being very thoughtless here by telling me personally before it being public? (He is dumb about technlology but he uses FB a lot, though he makes a lot of noob-type mistakes.) For the record, it's not the having a girlfriend (though that is hard to handle) that upsets me, it's the not being considerate part. Also yesterday he deleted the picture with comments to his girlfriend, so I'm wondering if he realized that I might see it and is hoping I just didn't.

Basically, I need help. Other than telling me if my feelings are valid (or not), do I tell my mom? I know it would emotionally hurt her, a lot a lot a lot, but since we talk constantly I feel like I've been lying to her and that makes me feel sick. Thanks to anyone who can offer personal anecdotes/support/tough love/gentle love.

Lit Drunkard

@iknowright I've been in a similar situation with my parents- I think it's too soon to tell your mom. You don't need to hide it (if she asks) but I don't think it's worth bringing up yourself- you're most luckily to be stuck in a circle of feeling awful

dabbyfanny

@iknowright And your feelings are completely valid. He is being insensitive and disrespectful, no matter what is going on with your mom.

royaljunk

@iknowright aah yeah, this sounds pretty much like my mom's relationship with her dad. You are completely within your rights to be hurt, but I agree that I wouldn't tell your mom unnecessarily, but I wouldn't cover for him by hiding it either.

Also, just a general PSA that you're not obligated to make an effort to have a good relationship with a parent if they don't make an effort back, and you shouldn't be made to feel bad about that. My mom struggled with this for years before finally deciding to let it go. (This doesn't necessarily apply completely to your situation, more a general observation.)

lora.bee

@iknowright I would talk to both of them. I would probably tell your mom. When I was younger, after my parents divorced, nobody told my mum when my dad started dating someone. She got extremely upset; not about the fact that he was dating anyone, but the fact that there was a new person in our lives that she didn't know about.
I think it's better for your mum to hear it from you eventually. But I would definitely talk to your dad about it. YOur feelings are TOTALLY valid. My dad has done some similar stuff; he got back together with this woman that we all hated after the way she hurt him, and I only found out because I saw her number in his phone. Turned out they had been back together for a few months already! And he can fly down to Arizona with her to get married, but he apparently can't hop one province over to visit me in the four years I have been living out here.

Hugs, hugs, hugs. Parents are just people, I know, and they make mistakes but you have a right to tell them how you're feeling.

iknowright

@Lit Drunkard Thanks for the response -- I think you might be right that it's too soon to talk to her. I'm not sure how long I can wait, since we share so much with each other, but I think I need to process all the angles at the very least before I do broach the subject with her.

iknowright

@dabbyfanny Thank you! I have heard so many people from his (really huge) family defend him that they keep making me doubt myself. It is nice to have an objective person give validation to my feelings. "Disrespected" is a good term for how I feel, thanks.

iknowright

@royaljunk "you're not obligated to make an effort to have a good relationship with a parent if they don't make an effort back, and you shouldn't be made to feel bad about that." THANK YOU. I have a friend who has told me something similar, but it has been really hard for me to accept the fact that I only have a good relationship with one parent. It's so sad! My mom's dad died when she was younger and it really affected the trajectory of her life so I hate being like, "oh my stupid living dad is such a jerk!" Like, stop complaining, he's here. But his actions hurt me so often and he refuses to see my side to things, so any effort I give usually just leaves me feeling worse in the end. Thank you for your kind and wise words.

iknowright

@lora.bee Ugh, I don't know if I feel better or worse that you also have a dad who won't travel to see you no matter where you are. I have so many friends whose fathers are so involved in their lives, and are also such mature, parental Dads. It is so hard to accept that mine isn't one of them! And no matter what I do or who I am, I can't change who HE is. Thanks for your advice -- I know since he deleted "the evidence" that I can use it as an excuse to figure out exactly how to approach him, and then her about it. I definitely think telling her myself would be done as a means of protection, so she can be told by someone who loves/cares about her deeply, instead of her finding out through some rando or, god forbid, seeing him with her out somewhere. It is certainly hard having to be The Adult with my own parents. I just wanna run in the sprinklers and eat popscicles all day!

Thanks for sharing your own stuff and for your response, it helps a lot!

Lit Drunkard

@iknowright It might feel like you're lying, but it may save her a bit of heartache. My father was a compulsive philander (which always sounds much better than is), and when I was young I didn't know not to speak of it. It was only seeing how much pain truth caused that I realize it was better to wait. Time takes away some of the sting. And- hard as it may be, it may be for the best

Scandyhoovian

I'm having one of those weird situations where a friend and I had a falling out a few years ago, she sort of "got" some of our mutual friends in the sense that I went to grad school and just wasn't around very much, and now we're friends again but everything's really weird in the sense that she apparently trash-talked me to all these people when we weren't friends and now there is tension (I'm not speculating; I was told about the trash-talking by a trustworthy, straight-shooting friend that I maintained a relationship with through all this).

Mostly I just hope the weirdness ends soon, it's really causing some personal mental conflict between my "screw these guys for allowing themselves to be swayed by all that!" and my "I still want to hang out with these people" feelings. Sigh. I just feel so middle-school-social-outcasty about it, it's a bad mental place.

OTHERWISE though a good friend is turning 30 this week and having a blowout party for it which should be good, and tonight the fiance's sister is in town so we're having a board game night. Love board game nights!

stuffisthings

Got denied for two apartments on the same day that we signed the lease on a third, at the bottom end of our price range and located just five blocks from work! Also it's on U Street which is good/bad.

Ophelia

@stuffisthings U Street over where everything is happening, or in one of the weird "lots of gas stations and not much stuff" parts of U St.?

stuffisthings

@Ophelia Welll it's actually right behind a gas station. But close enough to where the stuff is happening. Basically caddy-corner to Busboys & Poets, etc.

Ophelia

@stuffisthings Cool!

Mira

@stuffisthings Five blocks from work and at the bottom of your price range? The gods of DC rentals were smiling on you!

stuffisthings

@Mira I know! We keep expecting to find some secret clause in our lease, or maybe we'll show up on move-in day and the building is on fire or totally abandoned like in some David Mamet conman movie or something. Or it's haunted or infested with bedbugs. THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT WHY IS NOT A BASEMENT?

Mira

@stuffisthings If you tell me you also have in-unit laundry, I will no longer be able to speak to you.

dj pomegranate

@stuffisthings I used to live about a block up from where you are! 14th and V. I seriously loved that apartment, and the location. Congrats!!

Inkling

@stuffisthings
IT IS HAUNTED.
ETA: AWESOME

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Inkling
One day I was talking with my D.C. landlady about stuff and she explained that our house had so many problems was because it was haunted (13th and Harvard, fyi). It was haunted ever since a son had pushed his mother down the basement stairs to her death. And she told me that another time, there had been a little girl living at the house who kept asking what the woman in the blue dress was doing but no one else could see the woman!

D:

Inkling

@josiahg
Haha amazing. Did the kid mean to kill his mom?

tearsforaffairs

Chicago pinners:

recommendations for things to do/places to go/places to eat/places to drink/areas to stay in? I'll be in Chicago for a very brief, 2 day visit for the first time in September (it's midway on my cross country train ride) and I basically know nothing.

Currently, I'm trying to find a place to stay on Airbnb, and there are some really cute places that seem a bit far from downtown Chicago? How far is acceptable? 40 minutes to an hour on public transport (according to Google maps) seems like a lot! But maybe it is fairly normal because Chicago is more spread out? Like, does this adorable looking place seem like it's too out of the way? https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/239082

Please help!

terrific

@tearsforaffairs Oh man, I don't think of that area as far away at all, but maybe that's because when I lived in Chicago, I lived even further out on the red line. You could even take the Metra and be downtown superfast! I would stay at that place in a heartbeat.

Danzig!

@tearsforaffairs Do you have dietary restrictions? Hot Doug's or Kuma's Corner forever! Also, that park whose name I forget that has the big shiny bean.

jilt

@tearsforaffairs I'm from California, not Chicago BUT I can tell you what I really enjoyed when I was there for my own very brief (3 day) first visit a few months back. If you like museums, definitely check out the Art Institute, even if only for a few hours. It's one of the best I've been to. I also recommend Chicago q for lunch - good BBQ in a really pretty neighborhood called Gold Coast. I went to the bean sculpture as well, since it seemed like a tourist requirement, and it is fun to take a couple pictures with. Plus, it's right next to the museum. The other tourist trap I wanted to see was the observation deck on the Sears Tower, but it was too foggy that day.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

I work right across from the Bean! Let me know when you're there and I'll bop out to say 'hi!'

mystique

Hey! So, how do you guys get angry? I get really sulky and snappy, but I don't yell or insult (though I used to!). I know people -- including my parents and colleagues -- who do though, and I honestly don't know how to deal with it. It's even worse when they're yelling at me with legitimate criticism because I know their criticism is legitimate but I feel sick being yelled at. I just get kind of quiet and try to respond carefully.

Any good responses or solidarity?

olivebee

@mystique I'm like you - I pout and get snippy. Or cry (unfortunately). I have never dealt well with anger. I don't have any good advice, but definitely solidarity!

royaljunk

@mystique Yeah, I'm horrible at being yelled at too. I usually end up apologizing even if I didn't do anything wrong just to make it go away.

Scandyhoovian

@mystique I get quiet. Especially when I'm processing in my head (I kind of go all introspective and "why am I mad, let me count the reasons"). Then, when it's time to have the Talk About Why I'm Upset, there's some emotional bolstering required, because I have a tendency to rage-cry if I get too wound up and/or feel like I'm not getting taken seriously about it. That part always makes me more angry, as well, because I feel like as soon as the tears well up I've gone into "can't be taken seriously" mode. I try to hover in "angry but in control" mode but... sometimes it doesn't work.

Lucienne

@mystique I cry, which is . . . worse, probably.

(I mean: I get angry and cry. People rarely yell at me, but when they do, I tend to mull over what they've said rather than really responding in the moment.)

terrific

@mystique Solidarity, no advice, 'cause I'm the exact same way. I have enough trouble dealing with generic criticism — I can't handle it at all if it is yelled at me.

JanieS

@mystique I have a tendency to start crying the madder I get, which is, IMO, significantly worse. No one takes you seriously with that shit, you know?

area@twitter

@mystique I used to rage-cry, and will still do so at times. More and more frequently, though, I ice up- get still and quiet and angry. The anger is better than the fear.
As far as responses, simply leaving is a good one. Say (as politely as you can) "I can't discuss this right now", "I need a minute to calm down", "I don't want to talk to you when you're yelling at me". Then get up and walk out. You have the right to decide how you want to respond to a situation.

lora.bee

@mystique Oh God, I just get pouty. I hate it.

sarah girl

@mystique I don't know how anyone deals with all the yelling :( If it's someone you're close to (not your boss or anything like that), would it be possibly to say something like "Okay, let's take a breather and talk about it when we're both calmer"? I feel like when people are at the yelling point, there's not really a way to have a rational discussion until things cool down.

The Lady of Shalott

@JanieS Yeah, it's awful. Crying is my response to most strong emotions--anger, frustration, jealousy, etc. And people always start going "No, don't cry! It's not that bad!" which is...I'm not crying because I'm SAD, I'm ANGRY. It's just something my face does!

I hate being yelled at so incredibly much. I don't even like being spoken strongly to! If you're going to criticize me, just say it in a normal voice and we'll be in business.

meetapossum

@Scandyhoovian Oh man. Quiet and then rage-cry. I hear you so much on that.

area@twitter

@The Lady of Shalott I absolutely can't handle being yelled at. Shuts me right down. (In the past, it was fear; these days, it's more anger- how dare you yell at me? What can I have possibly done to deserve this kind of treatment? Was talking with my mom about it, and we came to the consensus that when someone is yelling at us, we can't hear a single word that's being said; all we can hear is the yelling.

katiemcgillicuddy

@mystique I can really only offer solidarity, but I have always had a really, really bad temper (it's much, much better as I get deeper into my 20s, or at least, I have more control over it). But the most tangible way I deal with anger? I run and I run and I run. (This method helps if you like running.) And I cry, which, ugh. But I can say, the one ridiculous way in which I've tamed anger? It sounds insane but...breaking things. And not really in a bad way (but sometimes in a bad way)! Example, every time I've moved out of a house and had furniture I couldn't find a home for and didn't need? Baseball bat. One of my best friends and I had a ball destroying a half-broken dresser once (and she was a hippy-dippy chill artist girl). Just, smashy smashy. Feels good. But yeah, there is something about physical relief. It's the one way you can make yourself feel some semblance of control. And tell people how you feel. Don't be careful when it comes to your own emotional health, be honest. Yelling is what happens when people disrespect each other.

lora.bee

@katiemcgillicuddy Yes, running helps so much!! I would be a cartoon with steam coming out of my ears all the time if I didn't stomp out my frustrations during my runs.

katiemcgillicuddy

@lora.bee Seriously, if I didn't run 'til I collapsed almost every day of the week? I'd be some sort of psychopath.

MilesofMountains

@mystique I anger-cry or get snappy and mean. I'm not sure which is a worse way to react, honestly.

TheDragon

@mystique I have stages. I first just get really huffy and irritated. Then I get quiet and glare-y. Then I completely lose my shit and scream. (I've only gotten there twice though)

Saskquatch

@mystique Responses...imagine you are a school teacher and they are a misbehaving teen - fix them with a stone cold glare and maybe a raised eyebrow. When they pause for breath, say that yelling is unnecessary and innapropriate. Walk casually away if they are unable to calm down. Or if you want to aggravate them further (not that I would EVER do that..) look really confused at them, like you want to help but they are aliens speaking gibberish and you find it sad and mildly amusing they seem so overwrought.

Saskquatch

@mystique At work I'm pretty calm and try to stay professional, but in my personal life I'm a rager. When I get angry at a person who will not talk things out with me, I will definitely yell and quickly devolve into snide insults. Working on it :/

Summer Somewhere

@mystique I can get mad like that sometimes. I sometimes don't realize what I'm doing until much later. What helps me is if someone draws attention to that behavior. In your case, something like, "I know that what you have to say is valuable, but when you yell at me, I can't hear your message" is pretty diplomatic. Or, "I don't want to talk to you while you're yelling at me." - and leave if they continue.

If you're at work, jot down a brief note of the date, time, and their behavior. It's really unprofessional for adults to yell at each other while working and you need to take that shit to HR. And as for your parents, I don't know, I don't talk to mine for that reason.

Danzig!

@mystique Deep breaths, and walk it off! I only ever get Mad mad at my parents because they're my parents. Otherwise I just hole up in my room and get quiet til I simmer down.

austengirl

@mystique I tend to pout or get snippy; I try not to insult, but that doesn't always work with my husband. :/ Very occasionally I get worked up into screaming rages, which he's has been on the wrong end of, not because I'm angry with him, but because he's been unlucky enough to be around when it happens. I can't handle being yelled at, I just get quiet, hope that it ends quickly and try to carry on like nothing's happened. Sometimes I'll leave the room until I can calm down or form a coherent response rather than say something I'll regret.

austengirl

@Summer Somewhere Those are some good strategies, I'll have to remember them. Unfortunately at my last job, my boss was the yeller...and also the head of HR. One of 5672 reasons I left. So glad I'm out of there and trying to unlearn all the toxic behaviors that I was surrounded by.

cosmia

Also I am finally reading "How to Be A Woman", and it is AWESOME. For some reason I thought I'd have a problem with some aspects of it, since I was told it kinda has a White Middle-Class Hetero Lady bent, but I am pleasantly surprised at how strong and badass and hilarious her style is.

dabbyfanny

@cosmia Thanks for reminding me I want this!

sarah girl

@cosmia I'm reading it, too, and similarly loving it. My only issue is that it's SO BRITISH - I'll seriously go a sentence or two and realize I've picked up exactly zero of her references.

mystique

@cosmia I think the WMCHL thing was more a lack of knowledge than deliberate. BUT I still thought there was a lot of Interesting Important Ideas (Ix3) like role models and the ideas of perfection and "women not doing much through the ages" that can ring true with a lot of different women. The last one is especially sobering -- even though women have done a lot that isn't recognized enough (Ada Lovelace comes to mind), I do think that compared to men we just don't have as much that's talked about as much and it can be debilitating. It also points out that domesticity and the like are not lauded as much throughout the ages -- "women's work" is inherently Bad and Silly.

City_Dater

@cosmia

It's such a fun read! The cheerful dissections of her youthful missteps are hilarious. And thank heavens for mothers who aren't judgy and obnoxious about childless women! (Would that there were more of them...)

toastandjam

@cosmia I am almost finished the book. I love her so much it is maybe a small problem.

City_Dater

@mystique

I find it interesting that Moran has been getting called out for not being inclusive enough in writing about her take on feminism (in a book that is in large part a memoir, by a woman who isn't an academic or historian). When did it become a rule that every woman who writes anything, ever, employing the word "feminist" has to speak about/to all other women always? I read and enjoyed the book as a very personal account of her own consciousness-raising, which as a fellow straight white woman, had some parallels with my own.

dtowngirl

@Sarah H. Yeah, I know. I had to Google Katie Price. I had (and still really don't have) any idea who she is. But, otherwise, it's a great book.

questingbeast

@City_Dater I agree, I found that hugely annoying; like, well what would she have to say about experiences that are not hers in a book that is about her experiences? Also, the 'middle-class' thing; I mean, I guess being a journalist makes her so now, but she grew up in a council house in Wolverhampton- seems not middle-class to me.

City_Dater

@questingbeast

And as the oldest girl in a gigantic family, pulling 'second mother' duty! Apparently poverty only gives credibility if you don't manage to pull yourself out of it. *eye roll*

Springtime for Voldemort

@City_Dater I don't think it's that she talks about her own life, it's that she then starts telling others to be feminists and a bit how to be feminists, without really looking at the reasons other than "man-hating??" that others don't identify as feminist. She doesn't really address why others might be like "eh, feminism? Not so much. Womanism, queer, hellz yes." I think she's great for those who are white straight women, but if you aren't, it's probably going to be a lot harder to agree with her message, not just relate to her personal experience.

Danzig!

@City_Dater Presumably when it became the case that the only feminist texts anyone outside college paid attention to were those written by middle-class white women.

austengirl

@dtowngirl Katie Price is kind of a proto-Kardashian, in that she's made a career out of being famous for having absolutely massive tits (though has taken some of the silicone out over the years), being married to a footballer, then pop singer and along the way selling most of her private life to Hello/OK and the like, appearing in different reality shows, etc. She's one of those people cultural critics love to spend column inches on. I think there is some interesting meta in terms of cultivation of fame and celebrity status and how she's gone about doing so, but yeah, she's kind of hard to describe to people not used to having her in the background noise of pop culture.

questingbeast

@austengirl I hate to be 'the person who corrects people about Jordan', but she didn't marry Dwight Yorke, they just had a brief fling and a son. (I'll see myself out).

The Lady of Shalott

EVERYONE WRITE TO YOUR PINPALS THIS WEEK!!!!

terrific

@The Lady of Shalott ohhhhhh shit.
<--- cute puppy, bad pinpal

Tuna Surprise

@The Lady of Shalott

Can we get new pinpals if we wrote 6 weeks ago and have never heard back?

The Lady of Shalott

@Tuna Surprise Of course! Hairpinpals@gmail.com is always open for new Pals!

Cat Jail

Dear Pinpal,

We got matched a while ago, and neither of us wrote. I'm not mad, and I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. Can we try again? If you're not into it, that's cool, but I hope you enjoy whatever I send your way, and my postbox is always open to you.

All the best, Cat Jail

sarah girl

@The Lady of Shalott Ahhhhhh my Pal wrote back to me weeks ago and I keep forgetting to respond, I am terrible! I haven't abandoned you, Pin Pal, I promise!

MilesofMountains

@The Lady of Shalott I just sent a letter to my new Pinpal and am writing one to my other Pinpal today! I also got adorable new stationary with a little hedgehog on it.

cosmia

@The Lady of Shalott I sent my PinPal a Banksy postcard like two months ago and haven't heard back, and am worried it got lost in the mail! IF YOU GOT A BANKSY POSTCARD LET ME KNOW!

OhMarie

@The Lady of Shalott Dude my pinpal just wrote me back and it's great! She outclasses me so hard in the stationary department.

nyikint

@Tuna Surprise It's become a running joke with my housemate over how much I freaked out my PinPal since she hasn't responded to me either.

dale

@The Lady of Shalott I did! I did! And I need to put an address on one of the envelopes and then I can put both in the mailbox after work!

laserbeams

I had a massive sort out of my stationary today and found a load of silly teenage stickers and stuff... I totally want to write a letter to my PinPal but I wrote last. Maybe I'll write again!

terrific

@The Lady of Shalott DEAR PINPAL,

I have not written you because you moved! You said in your last letter you were moving and I do not know your address. If this describes you, email hairpinpals@gmail.com and tell them your new address so I can send you gifts and things.

thisisunclear

@The Lady of Shalott I did write him, yesterday! Pin pals are the best!

Audley

@The Lady of Shalott I had brunch with my pinpal this morning and it was awesome.

Faintly Macabre

@The Lady of Shalott So if we wrote our PinPals about a month ago and have heard nothing, is it more awkward to get a new pinpal or have you track them down and demand answers?

This is my new username

@Faintly Macabre I feel like getting a reminder email sent or even just an email asking if they got the letter is a good idea. I have not written to my pinpal yet and she has not written to me to my knowledge, but then I get paranoid and worried that maybe she has written me and it's lost in the mail and she thinks I am ignoring her or something?

Inkling

@terrific
If your Pinpal did a Change of Address, their mail will go to their new place, I think? Right.
Then again, I'm having a bunch of bullshit from the mail system. (They didn't refrigerate $7,000 worth of medicine that says KEEP REFRIGERATED on it! My new mailman wants me to put my mail outside my box!) Fuck those guys sometimes :(

PS I sent drawings to one Pinpal, and I thought I saw someone mention them on the FOT, but I never heard back! What if her reply got lost and how would I ever know?

terrific

@The Lady of Shalott True! I just find it hard to trust Change of Addresses ever, because for some reason, they only seem to work 50% of the time for me.

The Lady of Shalott

PIN PAL QUESTIONS ANSWERED!

You are of course always welcome to request an additional new Pin Pal! Sometimes people are just unable get the letter-writing thing together, despite their best intentions. No shame! There's no hard-and-fast rule about how long you should wait before requesting a new one. Some people get antsy after a month, some people don't realize for three months. Whatever works for you and your Pal!

I do encourage people not to throw in the towel too quickly, though. Sometimes the mail is awesome! But sometimes it can be terribly inefficient. And people are also people--sometimes it can take two weeks (or more) to write a letter and get it mailed out. International mail can be even more dicey, especially since we have Pin Pals located in many many far-flung nations where mails can be...oh, let's say, leisurely.

And there is also no rule about who must write who first! Usually I counsel starting with a note or a postcard saying "Hi! My name is [blah] and I live in [blah] with my parakeet and my girlfriend. Where I live is [great/awful] because it's [in Death Valley/right down the street from a parakeet store]. I'm so glad I have someone to write to so I can tell you all about [my fervent love of Ethiopian food/my years as a roadie for the Grateful Dead]. Write me back soon! Love, [blah]."

And if you ever want to reach out to your Pin Pal don't hesitate to contact me at hairpinpals@gmail.com and I'll do my best to help you out in any way I can!

cutselvage

@The Lady of Shalott Pinpal, I put a postcard in the mail for you last Saturday, but it is coming from the bottom of the world (ie Australia), so I hope it turns up in a relatively timely fashion.

nowwhat

As per the Ask A Queer Chick thread, I'm making a mix CD for a fellow 'pinner this weekend, WOO!! Get ready for some cheesy fabulous love tunes from an internet stranger! Seriously you guys making mixes is something that will always cheer me up.

Xanthophyllippa

@nowwhat Me too! But I worry I'm too mainstream and commonplace for all these cool, fascinating people.

OhMarie

@Xanthophyllippa Yes I want all of the mixes but I am scared to make any mixes because I am lame. Maybe someone wants a comedy track mix?

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa You aren't, you aren't! I'm looking forward to it, no matter what. Seeing what music people like is so INTERESTING and FUN!

(I also reposted a call for mixtape partners downthread--I hope more people are interested! Turns out I looooove playing music-matchmaker, especially if people report back afterward with success stories.)

Lily Rowan

@OhMarie I'm willing to bet that your lame is someone else's awesome. Actually, typing that makes me reconsider doing this, because I bet there are other people out there who want a 90s R&B mix, huh?

nowwhat

I get anxious about my taste in music too but it's the arranging of songs that I think I fall in love with. A mixtape is always more than the sum of its parts :)

Plant Fire

@Xanthophyllippa Don't feel that way! People's taste in music varies so much that I'm sure whoever you send your mix too will love at least some of it.

Also, I'm really really loving this mix CD idea. I just finished mine today and will be dropping them in the mail on Monday!

Xanthophyllippa

@Sea Ermine @frigwiggin Okay, I'm holding youse guys to that. If it turns out I am in fact boring, just whisper about it behind my back and don't tell me, please.

Cat Jail

I know this is a long shot, but anybody in Edinburgh looking for a flatmate/ person to watch Breaking Bad and drink wine with?

Cat Jail

Related, does anyone have any advice on flathunting alone? I don't have anyone I can take with me for viewings, so I would really appreciate some advice on how to do this as safely as possible.

angelan

@Cat Jail I've done the flathunting thing in edinburgh on my own and I did not get murdered! To be honest, I wasn't as safe as I could have been - after a while I just showed up to places on my own without telling anyone where I was going, which, when I put it that way, sounds like I wanted to be stabbed, but I think people are mostly ok.

It's probably best to tell someone the address where you're going - and don't hand over money without seeing the contract, that kind of thing. Letting agencies in edinburgh, as far as I can tell, are on a sliding scale of bad to really bad unfortunately.

Where in edinburgh are you looking to live?

Summer Somewhere

@Cat Jail I read that as "anyone have any advice on flatulating alone?"

Cat Jail

@angelan Excellent! This gives me hope. I'm looking for something central/Leith-ish, but I'm not too fussy so long as I can bus to college with minimal hassle. Any advice for someone new to the city? Areas to avoid/ fun things to do?

Cat Jail

@Summer Somewhere That one I have covered.

angelan

@Cat Jail There is nowhere in edinburgh you can bus without hassle these days on account of Tram Fail, sadfaces. Depending on your route, it may be worth considering a bike. Leith is a pretty nice place to live actually - it's had a bit of a reputation, but I had friends who lived there and I never felt very unsafe walking home. Newington is loooud but right in the middle of everything, especially if you're going to edinburgh university. I think that's where most students live (though I looked at a flat there, and the landlord said 'Always lock the front door - someone took a shit in the stairwell last week.' I ran and ran.).

Xanthophyllippa

@Summer Somewhere Me too.

Cat Jail

@angelan That is horrifying. I would have had to take the most scalding of showers after that. "Oh God, I touched the doorhandlesss..." Still, he gets points for honesty.

Thanks for the info about Newington, my college situation is a bit more out of the way than that but it's good to know where to look for something potentially not too expensive but nice-ish? Am I reading that right? Even though your story is reminding me why living with students is The Worst (shit in the hall, shit in the hall oh goddd...)

Also, seriously, what is up with the trams?

austengirl

@Cat Jail Whereabouts are you going to college? I went to Edinburgh Uni and only ever lived in uni-owned flats (ie quite central) so I might not be a lot of help, but many students seemed to gravitate towards Tollcross/Bruntsfield/anywhere south of the Meadows. Newington certainly has plenty of amenities and is probably sort of affordable. Some of my fellow postgrads had nice flats in New Town and beyond but I don't really remember the specific neighborhoods. I think Leith's reputation has improved a lot in the last decade, so it's worth a look. I loved living in Edinburgh...there's loads of great museums, if you're into that, and just random quirky streets. Victoria Street and Cockburn Street are a little more characterful than most of the Royal Mile. There's a good feminist/independent bookshop on West Nicolson Street near George Square. I think it's called Word Power; it's opposite the Pear Tree pub which has a decent beer garden in warm weather. Nightlife can be good depending on what you're after; I'm more of a pub than club person, but there are plenty of options for both. Plus the sheer volume of events during the Festival...I'm getting all nostalgic now.

angelan

@Cat Jail THEY COST A BILLION POUNDS! A BILLION! They could have given that money to meeee! :(

Ahem. I paid about £325/month for a nice double room in a very nice flat in gorgie (maybe too out of the way, but perfect for heriot-watt or napier), and then between 300 and 340 for the various flatshares I've lived in since (in New Town/Stockbridge, which are the expensive places to live), which have ranged from ok sized to Hugest Bedroom Ever. You can probably pay (considerably) less than 300 if you're happy with a single room. I'd advise living somewhere where you won't have to go across/along Princes st to get to college, because crossing it with all the diversions etc is a total pain (unless you're brave enough to cycle it). If you're at QMU, leith/the shore/portobello/ would be my best bets, and the nightbus (the n2 was pretty frequent back when I had friends in leith) will get you fairly close to home.

Cat Jail

I'm going to be studying in the north of the city. Leith is on a convenient bus route between the college and the city centre, so it's good to hear positive things about it. I'm wary of being in the area right by my school, because it's not really convenient for anything else, and also seems potentially a bit sketch.

@austengirl Those are such good tips, thank you! The bookstore/ beer garden suggestion is especially appreciated. I will definitely check both of those out.

@angelan WHAT.

angelan

@Cat Jail I KNOW. It's going from the train station to the airport, which is already served by a frequent and speedy bus service! They laid down the tracks and then had to dig them all up and start again because they broke before they even got used!

Leith is really pretty nice (bonus: chinese supermarket!) - I'd maybe avoid Pilrig - I do know people who live there and say it's ok, but I probably wouldn't walk home from there on my own.

Ophelia

I hate plucking my eyebrows, but they're kind of awkward looking right now, so I'm going to pop an advil and do it anyway.

Also, I started working at 7 this morning, so that means I'm done, right?

dabbyfanny

@Ophelia Yep. Get outta there, STAT!

Ophelia

@dabbyfanny Well, I work from home, and I'm not even wearing real pants today, so there's that.

dabbyfanny

@Ophelia Crack open a cold one?

lora.bee

@Ophelia PIZZA IN BED

TheDragon

@lora.bee PANTSLESS PIZZA IN BED

Ophelia

@The Kendragon Good lord, I don't know how I missed this connection. You are clearly right.

TheDragon

@Ophelia I'd like to think I usually am when it comes to food...

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon ...and being pantsless.

TheDragon

@Xanthophyllippa Naturally.

dabbyfanny

My hair. My hair is good.

EpWs

@dabbyfanny I got a haircut and blowout yesterday and it still looks good today and I am going out for drinks with old friends later. High five for good hair!

dabbyfanny

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Virtual high fives back at ya!

lemon mint fizz

First week of medical school DOWN. I'm already behind and tired but the excitement hasn't worn off YET. :)

realtalk

@lemon mint fizz ahhhhh I hope this will be me in two years. was the application process totally awful? any advice for getting involved in medical volunteering, or for the application process generally?

boxlady

@lemon mint fizz

Ahhh! Enjoy! This is normal for the beginning of the year in ANYTHING, I think. Mazel tov on being in med school!

katiemcgillicuddy

Ok, never really used FOT before to be giggly and stupid but here we go! Going to visit a very close friend this week for my vacation, but! Nowwww...maybe now we're more than friends/there was always something there/but the timing was never right/but maybe now it is! Anyway, I'm in a good mood. So, if you plan on being anywhere near the Delaware/MD beaches this week, I'll be the one stumbling around in the sand, holding the beer and talking to the cute blond guy with the ridiculous shorebilly accent. So look for me!

(And for the record, I feel like The Hairpin has been just insanely awesome this week (it's always awesome, but seriously, wow) so thanks to all of you lovely, lovely people for being so fucking awesome.)

Faintly Macabre

I am supposed to intern at a lovely bakery in Paris--all I need to do is get one little form signed.

Bakery: Your school should be able to sign it, even though you graduated. (They've had people with my official,visa-getting job intern for them before)
School: Uh, you graduated. We don't want to sign it.
Contact person at Consulate in DC for my offical France job: The Cultural Services Office at the Embassy can sign it!
Embassy (by phone): Cultural Services Office? Contract? I'll have to call you back. Me: "Please do as soon as possible!" He never calls back.
Embassy (in person): Ask the visa office!
Visa Office: Since you'll already have a visa, you can get it signed somwhere in France. Maybe the Prefecture or employment office?
Bakery: We've never been able to get the Prefecture to sign our internship contracts. Ask your school?

All of this is to work part-time, unpaid, for two months. And I already have a visa to be there.

I leave for France in 5 weeks, and I still don't have housing or a second income, which has to be undeclared because my official job's overseers refuse to allow us have any official second income. I'm starting to worry just a leetle bit!

Ophelia

@Faintly Macabre What would happen if you went to the Bakery School in person, and literally stood there until someone signed it?

stuffisthings

@Faintly Macabre "I am supposed to [do anything at all] in Paris--all I need to do is get one little form signed." I FEEL FOR YOU.

Faintly Macabre

@Ophelia I actually graduated from a normal college, which is probably part of why my school's so confused. I live 6 hours away, but I will be there this week. Hmmm.

An older friend of mine who's lived, worked, studied, married, and had a kid in France and kind of hates France told me that I should just sign the forms myself.

Ophelia

@Faintly Macabre Oh, yep - I totally read that wrong. But sometimes pleading in person does help. Good luck!

stuffisthings

@Faintly Macabre Yeah I always thought these situations were just Americans who didn't know how things work, but my girlfriend IS French (and a huge patriot) and her description of how bureaucracy/paperwork functions conforms exactly to the stereotype. I say just pester everyone you can until somebody signs it.

Faintly Macabre

@Ophelia Yeah, that's a good suggestion! I kind of forgot that I'll be near campus in a few days, and I'll probably try that!

Ophelia

@Faintly Macabre And when all else fails, if this form doesn't require any notarization or official stamps, just have a random friend sign it (I'm assuming this isn't an official immigration form, but is instead something that will be used by the bakery?).

Xanthophyllippa

@stuffisthings Germany too. Seven hours in the Ausländersamt. SEVEN. HOURS.

stuffisthings

@Xanthophyllippa I mean, let's be real, the US is pretty bad too. My friend/roommate is on an H1B visa and spends an insane amount of time and money maintaining his status, plus constantly worrying that he'll be deported. (Also he pays more in taxes each year than I even earn, yay immigration policy!)

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@stuffisthings
Aah immigration is INSANE. Why should being born somewhere else make someone ineligible to work in the U.S.? If the concern is that immigrants will move here to freeload on government benefits, just disqualify them from getting government benefits!

stuffisthings

@josiahg They aren't eligible for most government benefits, except through fraud. Of course there is the "STEALING OUR JOBS" issue: that's why my friend's company goes through all the hassle and expense of sponsoring him, because he is willing to work for peanuts (a measly six-figure salary). And not because there is a critical shortage of American workers in his field.

I mean clearly that's the problem, not his excess melanin.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@stuffisthings
Yeah, I have a friend with a boyfriend in the same situation. It's so terrible to watch her have to evaluate the relationship in terms of whether immigration will let him stay near her!

Faintly Macabre

@stuffisthings I agree, though I think long-term residency/work sponsorship is pretty difficult in almost any major developed country. This situation is just mind-boggling because I wouldn't even need a French visa for the internship I'm doing, that's how insignificant it is. But it's still a huge administrative headache. Meanwhile, I've had months-long, full-time internships (and am doing one now!) in the U.S. where the entire set-up process was exchanging a few emails.

Ophelia, I think the bakery needs to give this to some official people, who will stamp it. (The French LOOOOVE stamps and dossiers of your entire life history.) But otherwise I don't think it has any import besides showing that they're in compliance with labor laws if anyone checks.

questingbeast

Aaaaaah I've got to a Friday Open Thread at an appropriate stage- I don't think that's happened before (That means I'm in and working on a Friday night, but hey, silver linings!). But Sunday I will hand in my work and Monday I will be seeing my boyfriend for the first time in three weeks and we will be going on holiday together for the first time, to Bruges! I am mad excited. Has anyone been? Any recommendations for things to do?

katiemcgillicuddy

@questingbeast First of all, have you seen "In Bruges"?? Because it's amazing. Man, seriously, getting to the FOT at a decent time is the best, this is the first time I've managed it as well. And I've never been to Bruges but have fun!!

Lucienne

@questingbeast In Bruges is brilliant, but maybe see it after you go, because it's kind of sad, too?

questingbeast

@katiemcgillicuddy That's why I wanted to go! It's one of my favourite recent films, but I know literally nothing else about the place. ('Bruges is a shithole.' 'Bruges is not a shithole.' 'It is a shithole.' 'We've just got off the train, could we reserve judgement on Bruges until we've seen the fucking place?')

katiemcgillicuddy

@Lucienne Oh, it's heartbreaking, you're right.

katiemcgillicuddy

@questingbeast "Maybe that's what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges." (I bet you'll have a great time:))

questingbeast

@Lucienne Ahhh too late! Though not as sad as The Guard, I was in floods. Brendan Gleeson is amazing.

Lucienne

@questingbeast I don't think I have the emotional stamina to watch The Guard. Ever. In my life.

JadedStone

WRITING ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP - WHAT HAVE YOU WRITTEN THIS WEEK?

I have stayed on target with my 1667 words a day! But it's crap. And yesterday I lost 700 when i went to the bathroom and my comp was like 'let's install updates'
bah.
still! writing! Though I still owe 900 words today.

Porn Peddler

@Jade Thank fucking god for this. Can we have a hairpin writer's group? Because I would like that a lot. I've done a lot of editing and tweaking. I do not have specific goals, in general, but I am REALLY REALLY BEHIND on what I wanted to do today :( I'm back to editing.

Bittersweet

@Jade You go, girl! That is impressive, whether it's crap or not. I have written 750 or so words on my blog this week. Which I guess is better than 749 or so words on my blog?

Does writing for work/money count? I conducted and wrote up hour-long interviews this week, and started writing marketing materials, and wrote an outline of Why I'm Awesome and You Should Hire Me to a prospective employer. Writing!

lora.bee

@Jade You are amazing. I...I haven't written anything. God. This morning I woke up and realized FRIDAY OPEN THREAD ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP, I HAVEN'T DONE A THING. Arrgh!! Tomorrow afternoon...that is all I am doing.

("Your head would pop off your pillow - oh no. That's due today. I had nine months to work on it, I did NOTHING." Thank you Brian Regan.)

katiemcgillicuddy

@all Friday Open Thread Writing Accountability/Hairpin Writers Group?! This is a fantastic idea. I'm slowly working into the idea of "writing for real", and it's a little scary! Eep.

JadedStone

@Porn Peddler Like a google group thing?
I used to be in a group and we'd meet up online in a chat room and then we'd all.. go write on our own and post our word counts. It was fun! And useful.
YES. LET US SET UP THIS GOOGLE GROUP. After I hit my target. 400 more words.

Basically, I need graphs. campnanowrimo right now is giving me a graph. I love graphs.

@Bittersweet everything counts.

questingbeast

@Jade Ugh my computer pulled that update shit on me yesterday and words were lost. I'd already clicked 'postpone' a million times- I can't watch you every minute, Windows!
Also, I got Scrivener recently and love it (mostly for the little bar that goes green when you hit target, but other things too.)

JadedStone

@questingbeast I've been using Celtx, mostly cause it has cloud support so if I have ideas I can write them on my iphone and they'll magically appear in the document.
Also, I can't lose things. woot!
But I do LOVE Scrivener. They just had so many windows issues back when I tested it.

StandardTuber

@lora.bee I would like an Editing Group as well. :/

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Mabissa I can try helping with editing, if ever I find the damn time.

I cranked out a late-night blog post and a friend emailed me an idea for something we can collaborate on and it was awesome.

Nothing huge, but still something, which is good because I didn't even have time to do laundry this week. By which I mean last week's leftover laundry. And this week's.

StandardTuber

@Rookie Laundry, leave it to the chicks, amirite? :)
Yeah I have a manuscript that is several years old that I am going through now, proofreading, and it's screaming for a rewrite but I just don't know what direction to go in with it. Plus working plus taking care of a child plus f-ing laundry means it's taking a lot longer than I want.
Also I am trying to get published, submitting essays and things, so that is using up my creative juices.

helloimgreen

i decided to come out of lurking to announce that one of my best guy friends recently became my roommate and i realized that i lurve him. i don't know what to do and i hope it doesn't become awkward :(

raised amongst catalogs

@helloimgreen I hope that it becomes awesome instead!

helloimgreen

@vanillawaif thanks! me too! we've have this weird sexual tension where we can't decide if we like each other or not and don't do anything about it, so it's going to be interesting to see what happens now that we're gonna be around each other more often (aka all the time).

questingbeast

@helloimgreen That happened to me. It was awkward, then we banged, then it was awkward, then we banged, then it was awkward, then it was incredibly fucking awkward, now we're going out. So, good luck!

Megasus

@questingbeast I did this (but minus the awkward bit) but it basically turned into 6 years of resentment so maybe don't listen to me.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

Chicago 'Pinners

Step up and vote on the date for our September Meet-Up! We have to pick a date eventually, so Monday?, but I thought I'd do one more Friday Open Thread promotion.

Stacy Worst

Hm, the Sponsored Post with the Buttes.

JadedStone

@Sister Administrator THE NAKED PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN???

OhMarie

@Sister Administrator Yeah, what is that? Gross.

raised amongst catalogs

I just applied for a job in Human Resources at a hospital. I haven't heard back but in case I get an interview, I'd like to be prepared. Any HR geniuses who can give me some buzzwords or talking points that would make me seem like the right person for the job? To give some background: I worked for a surgeon for seven years as his front desk/patient coordinator person and handled everything from scheduling appointments to taking media requests from TV/radio/print outlets for the doc. The job I applied for is "HR assistant," so I expect it will be more admin stuff but I just want to do well!

jcrewgodzilla

@vanillawaif I just saw this this morning and, as someone who interviews people, it really made an impression. So this!

http://lifehacker.com/5935550/the-interview-question-that-is-always-asked-and-how-to-nail-it

raised amongst catalogs

@jcrewgodzilla Thank you so much! I chose two questions and will practice asking them in a way that doesn't sound like I memorized them!

PistolPackinMama

I loooove you. And have to ration/ go on Pinbattical because WORk/WRITING DEADLINES.

Why does life have to be so interesting?!

TheDragon

@PistolPackinMama NOOOO!!!! I will miss you

PistolPackinMama

@The Kendragon ;) I'll check in. Just, you know, not more than I do for actual work. For a bit.

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama whimper

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa Y'all have my email. (I made chicken and eggplant curry on the Spinster Balcony today...)

TheDragon

Ummm...I feel like there is a big difference between "going dancing with friends" and "going dancing with one, female friend."
Boyfriend said he was doing one, but my best friend says she saw him doing the other.
Ugh. I wouldn't even be upset if he'd just let me know yesterday.
I miss my best friend. Montana's been fun, and I don't want to leave, but I really really miss her.

JadedStone

@The Kendragon EHHH? Yeah, big diff. Did he name other 'friends' who were going, as in, was this a lie or just an omission?
And WHY didn't he tell you? Was he being stupid or sneaky?

TheDragon

@Jade He didn't but I'm pretty sure he said FRIENDS. (And when I sent him a text reading "Hey! So you all did you go dancing with? :)" I got NO reply.

JadedStone

@The Kendragon next time you talk on the phone ask him point blank. If he lies, set him on fire with your mind. Nip this shit in the bud.

romastrega

@The Kendragon It could have been an honest mistake... he thought friends were going and it ended up only being one.... if you have a good, trusting relationship, I would lean towards that kind of explanation...
BUT it could have been like my ex: he was going out drinking with co-workers, which was fine & he did often, but then it started to be out drinking with one particular co-worker(still telling me "co-workerS") and this one particular one was a girl who had a crush on him... and he on her... one he considered a good friend & told all our relationship troubles to so she knew there was an opening... and it then became a full-blown affair.
So if it is that, nip that shit in the bud right now!

TheDragon

@romastrega @Jade
He actually just replied, and said he was there with three other guys and four girls. So. I'm confused.

Ophelia

@The Kendragon Any chance he and the one friend were still dancing while others were sitting at a table/whatever, such that your friend got the wrong end of the stick?

TheDragon

@Ophelia That is entirely possible.
I may just be looking for excuses out.
arrgh... I know this is cliche, but I have GOT to get out of my own head.

JadedStone

@The Kendragon HHHHMMMMM
Look, this is going to eat away at you. Be honest? Call him right now(no text! leaves too much time for sneak) and say 'listen, so and so saw you. What's going on? I want us to be on the same page and YOU KNOW that I wouldn't have had a problem if it were just the two of you and you'd told me so, so what's the deal?"

(The second bit is good because it prevents him from turning this around and saying he knew you'd get upset)

If he stammers through an apology, or sounds genuine, ok. If he says your friend is lying? MIND FIRE.

TheDragon

@Jade Honestly? Gut is saying he didn't. But I'm starting to feel suffocated/trapped by his much-stronger-than-mine affection, and I don't know what to do.
I feel like he'd be an excellent boyfriend if I let him. I don't know that I'm willing to let him. (Last bf did a number on me, and I'm being a really shitty gf.)

I'm kinda being a shitty person. And picking fights.

JadedStone

@The Kendragon OH MAN. THIS TOOK A TURN.(I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be writing right now and so would rather be FOT`ing)

You`re picking fights because you want him to call it quits so that you can walk away and say `well, he ended it`and therefore you never had to take a risk?

GIRL. I AM GONNA INTERNET-SLAP YOU.

Let's do this! LIST STYLE. Pro's and Con's of this dude. And the top 10 things that make him attractive.

TheDragon

@Jade
Shit. I do need an internet-slap.

Thank you.

TheDragon

@Jade Ok:
Pro's:
1. Really sweet
2. Makes me laugh
3. Laid back
4. Calls me beautiful
5. Doesn't laugh at me when I'm afraid of the dark
6. Is pretty supportive
7. Thinks the world of me
8. Doesn't expect me to clean up after him
9. Wants to try new and exciting things in the bedroom

CONS:
1. Is moving way fast
2. Acts very "I'm older and wiser and therefore much smarter, so listen to my infinite wisdom, little baby"
3. Enjoys getting in bar fights
4. Is a republican
5. Makes a big ole stink about using a condom, even though I want him to. (Though, in all fairness, he uses one)
6. Sleeps past noon daily. (He works from 2 pm to 10 pm)
7. If I did get pregnant, he is 100% against abortion. I'm not.
8. I'm not super attracted to him, sexually.

Top Ten Attractive Qualities
1. How passionate he is about work. (He works with juvenile delinquents)
2. His manners
3. How good he is with my dog
4. His laugh
5. The way he holds me
6. How easy going he is, most of the time
7. How important family is to him
8. That he is a good dancer
9. His eyes
10. He is ok with me doing my own thing a couple nights a week.

JadedStone

@The Kendragon Feelings towards gay/black/handicapped people?

realtalk

@The Kendragon uhhhhhh i cannot get past "republican" and "makes a big ole stink about using a condom" and also "not super attracted to him sexually"???? but only you can decide how much of a dealbreaker those are for you?

ALSO: obligatory Dear Sugar quote: "wanting to leave is enough."

TheDragon

@Jade Slightly homophobic, but otherwise ok.

TheDragon

@realtalk When you're mainly attracted to cowboys, you learn to deal with republicans pretty dang quick.

realtalk

@The Kendragon Fair. I think my comment was a little flip, sorry, I didn't mean to be! Do you feel like you can talk with him about the moving too fast? Do you feel like you can work out more of the reasons why you feel like part of you wants to sabotage this relationship?

JadedStone

@The Kendragon OK. Perfect honestly? You named like 3 dealbreakers for me. BUT THAT'S ME.

He works every day with kids who we hope he tells about the importance of safe sex but he doesn't like to practice it.
Heck, you would think working with those kids would also make one a bit more pro-choice or AT LEAST open-minded to understand it's not his damn uterus and he gets no say.

you're having not-very awesome sexy times with a cowboy who has an authority complex.

Maybe this is what you want RIGHT NOW but I think (and I may be wrong) that the reason you want this to slow down is because you know, on some level, this isn't what you want in the long term. And you're thinking 'this is good for right now'.

The kicker is though, you're not even really enjoying the sex!

WHAT IS THE POINT OF DATING A PRIGGISH COWBOY IF THE SEX IS MEDIOCRE?

Personally? I think you could do better. But that's cause we're pinners and I think you're awesome and you deserve a dude who doesn't get in bar fights and make you sad.

But maybe he makes you happy. Maybe he can change and be flexible, maybe he'll grow. Just make sure you're on the pill.

TheDragon

@Jade I think you may be completely (or almost completely) right.
(I am on the NuvaRing, but still, it's my body, yo. I say condom, you go put one on.)

I think I just got sick of being single

JadedStone

@The Kendragon Yeah.. But in case the condom fails. Plus condoms! Two condoms even. Hahaha

Being single can rock.
And you can't meet that awesome guy who IS everything you're looking for if you're dating this dude cause he'll pass on by. You can't catch a fish if you're not in the water?

I dated this... Moronic alcoholic who didn't have bed sheets but a Disney princess sleeping bag. And I was like 'eh, sex is ok when he's not totally wasted'. NO. OMG. I look back and I'm like SELF. WTF?? HE WAS SO STUPID.
So.. Think of your future self and see what she says to you?

PistolPackinMama

@The Kendragon OK-- wants to try new things? But you're not attracted? Are those mutually exclusive things? How do they relate to each other.

RE: Condoms. I would say these things.

1) I do not ever want to have to deal with unplanned pregnancy. I especially do not want to have to do this when the partner I have is not pro-choice like I am, and cannot be counted on to help me like I need to be helped. That is an absolute no-go.

2) Therefore. We will always use condoms when we have sex. Always. Unless we decide we are shooting to be pregnant or you are snipped. There will always be condoms. Unless I say otherwise, and I probably won't.

3) That is the price of admission. You are, from here on out, never, ever going to bring up how much you don't like condoms again. Ever again. Because if we don't agree on what to do if there is an unplanned pregnancy, we are doing all the things we need to do to make sure it never happens.

You don't get to be anti-choice and not have YOUR choices constrained.

Also, I would have a short fucking fuse for a dude who didn't treat me like a grownup. Has HE had to get out of and recover from an abusive relationship? No? Then he isn't going to ever be able to tell you you aren't as grown up as he is. Period end of story.

Jesus.

katiemcgillicuddy

@realtalk The "Dear Sugar" quote really is obligatory.

TheDragon

@PistolPackinMama I seriously love you. Can we make PPM A Lady, Edith?
@Jade very true. I tend to have fun being single, too.

PistolPackinMama

@The Kendragon <3 u dragonie.

Also, I know you have Sticking With It Issues re: boys. And I was going to gently suggest maybe it might be a good thing to work on them. But you know what? Eh.

1) He knows that and he's getting all U-Haul and Broodie? PUT THE BREAKS ON BUDDY. Although I suppose you could say that "you know that moving fast thing is just really scary to me. Slow it down." and see what he does.

2) The whole no-condoms-anti-choice thing? Eh. You can go practice being ready for commitment to someone else, when he comes along. This guy will also find a nice girl who is more in line with his values.

Or, what I mean is, it's okay to be angsted, but I don't see any of your possible decisions being disastrously wrong.

Maryaed

@The Kendragon Honestly? That is not a very convincing list. A lot of the pros are "really likes you." But the things you like him for seem kind of superficial.

I don't think you like him enough. And I winced when you listed "doesn't mind if you do your own thing sometimes" because why is that not a given for you?

Inkling

@The Kendragon
I hate him.

Queen of Pickles

@The Kendragon @Maryaed

Some of the Pros seem to be "Shitty Things He Doesn't Do"- which, in my opinion, doesn't count as an actual positive thing. I think that might have the power to lower your expectations, if you're grateful that he's not doing X Awful Thing that other exes have done. He shouldn't be doing it! Nobody should!

Man, if someone laughed at my fears, I'd be livid. I mean, I actually like when my loved ones laugh at me, because it helps me laugh at myself. I fall off of things, and mangle sentences, and tell very silly stories at my own expense, and am sometimes quite gullible, but if someone laughs at me for that I feel loved. I feel lovable. Whatever I've done isn't awkward or embarrassing; instead, it's funny. My brother does this all the time, and it's okay because he knows where the line is. But if someone actually teased me about the things that bother me, and made me feel small? Ugh! I wouldn't be able to respect him or trust him at all.

At the end of the day, I don't just need someone who Doesn't Hurt Me - I need someone who can Soothe And Comfort Me effectively when I am upset. And I don't just need someone who Doesn't Expect Me to Pick Up After Him - I need someone who Picks Up After Himself, and will do more than his share of the dishes every once in a while, to be nice. And I need someone who doesn't just Let Me Do My Own Thing, but someone who Does His Own Thing And Expects Me To, Too.

A lack of a negative thing does not equal a positive thing in my book.

TheDragon

@PistolPackinMama I do have Major sticking with it issues re: boys. But I think you all are probably right. I had a much harder time coming up with Pro's than I should have had.
I see him in person tomorrow and I think we will have a pretty serious talk. I don't want to make decisions without hearing his side of things.
I just feel like he likes this perfect girl that isn't me, and I FUCKING hate pedestals.

Also seriously all of you: Thank you for listening to my over dramatic, high schoolish rant. Thanks for giving me great advice, and thanks for making me feel like it's ok to expect more from a guy than I've ever gotten. (It might be that I drove 13 hours today, and had a HELL of a time finding doggy friendly rooms, but I am tearing up right now.)

adorable-eggplant

@The Kendragon The perfect girl that isn't me! That's such an on point description. I dated a guy (briefly) who went from having me on a pedestal to trying to train away my 'foibles' (nag away? It was the worst: several weeks of being chided, cajoled and whined at about my 'faults'). If it weren't for those tiny things (my ardent feminism, for example) I would be this totally perfect, malleable, womanchild who could raise his male sons. The weird thing was that we had been dating for like no time at all, so why was a family even on the table? It wasn't. I mentioned several times that I wasn't even ready to talk about that. But I could see him nod and think, "Sure. But I am planning in my mind, so that when you drop this "I'm not ready business" I will have already sent the invitations to the wedding." Terrifying.

Another pet peeve? Acting like a know-it-all person on account of age. For several years, I dated someone who was over a decade older than me. Not once did he pull the I know better than you bullshit. Person I dated briefly who was only three months older than me? All the time. It's part of buying heavily into patriarchal ideas about women. Or just part of being a jerk? I don't know. But as someone who often prefers older dudes, but hates being condescended to, I can say that it's totally possible to date someone older who doesn't treat you like an idiot.

Gah, sorry to butt in, but this whole thread clearly struck a nerve. Best of luck whatever you decide! And I think it's cool you've got the whole 'pin cheering you on.

TheDragon

@adorable-eggplant Yes! I love the non-judgement and support on the pin! (Until I have an asshole move, and you guys call me out on it, I realize you're right, apologize, and we all go on. THANK YOU for that.)

Yeah... He's already freaking out about what we'll do when I graduate and (hopefully) move. WHICH IS A YEAR AWAY! whoa Nelly.

TheDragon

@The Kendragon
Ok. This is definately NOT going to work. I'm in my home city for the first time in a month, and seeing the boyfriend is NOT what I want to do. I want to sit at home, mourn all the family time I've been having, watch Clueless, cuddle with my dog, and fall asleep in an old tee shirt and granny panties.
I do not want to shower, shave, put on cute undies, talk to the boyfriend, have sex, or see him.
Clearly this is not a relationship that is working out.

JadedStone

@The Kendragon Giiiirrrllll. Word.

TheDragon

@Jade The Kendragon is now single. It feels good, but I also feel pretty bad. (I always have break-up remorse.)

Inkling

@The Kendragon
Yaaaay, good for you! That needed to be done asap. You're a smart lady :)

katiemcgillicuddy

@The Kendragon Focus on the good feeling! From what I can tell, you did the right thing. Go do something nice for yourself today, you deserve it! :)

adorable-eggplant

@The Kendragon Breakups are hard, regardless of how necessary they are. Do some endorphin-generating activities: yoga + dark chocolate + dancing to Shakira. Or, you know, whatever floats your boat.

JadedStone

@The Kendragon CONGRATS.
Now go listen to ALL THE BEYONCE.

Seriously though, that's awesome.

TheDragon

@all Thanks. I'm back in town for the first time in a month, so I may see if any of my friends wanna grab lunch. I may also be shallow and focus on being single for the first week of school. That's always exciting, right?

katiemcgillicuddy

@The Kendragon Nothing shallow about that. See your friends! Hang out alone! Go enjoy being single! And yes, as Jade said, ALL THE BEYONCE.

TheDragon

@katiemcgillicuddy To the left, to the left...

PistolPackinMama

@The Kendragon <3

TheDragon

@PistolPackinMama ...cute guy in my major that I've had a crush on for years started flirting with me...
I feel better about this breakup. BUT I'm not gonna rush into ANYTHING

Hot Doom

I am trying to write my dissertation, and the hand-in date is two weeks from Monday, and I have written 350 words. I have to write 15,000. Please, someone tell me it is possible to write that much in that amount of time.

The problem for me is, aside from being overwhelmed by the size of the project, I have been depressed this summer and basically, I have little interest in the subject of my paper. I had to write based on my museum placement, and I got put into (an albeit awesome) department that happens to be irrelevant to my interests or studies up to this point and though I know I can read up, the whole thought of writing a big(ish) body of work about something I feel unqualified to talk about it psyching me out like whoa. Also, not procrastinating is clearly not a strong point of mine :[

Xanthophyllippa

@LolaLaBalc Will starting small with an outline help? Because I always have trouble sitting down to write a Document; I have to write an outline. Then I add detail and transitions until the outline becomes an Outline, and by the time I start writing from it I realize that I've pretty much written the Document and all I have to do now is turn it all into full sentences. Then suddenly I have a chapter.

PistolPackinMama

@LolaLaBalc OH HAI LOLA. You n' me should be pals. Desperation pals.

Lucienne

@LolaLaBalc This might sound kind of dumb, but I've found that writing things out longhand can be really helpful. It keeps me moving forward, rather than the "oh, I meant to say this earlier, let me go back - shit, why did I put those words together - oh my god, how many times have I used 'dialectic' on this page, what the hell am I thinking, I'm just going to watch kdramas on Hulu, ugh" process which can happen if I start on a computer.

Also, an outline. YES. Even if it's a shitty outline (mine inevitably are), it can be extremely helpful.

EpWs

@LolaLaBalc OUTLINES. Outlines are the best. Outlines with page quotas/word counts (whatever you think in) are best for me--instead of "oh my god I have 15,000 words to write" it's "I have to write three pages on this specific topic."
HOW I WROTE MY THESIS IN FOUR WEEKS: Make a chart. I am not kidding here, go get you some posterboard and some star stickers and divide it up, set goals, write down the goals, reward yourself when you hit them. I set a 7 page a day/5 days a week quota, got a star sticker on the chart every day I did it, and had literal envelopes of cash on the chart that I got to redeem every 25 pages. You will feel kind of crazy, BUT IT WORKS.

Good luck!

Xanthophyllippa

@Lucienne Longhand, yes! It also forces you to slow down as you write - in the good way! - because most folks can't write as fast as they can think. It makes for a better first draft that way.

I wrote my entire dissertation longhand. Usually I stop every 5 handwritten pages or so and type up, but I did actually write one of the chapters in its entirety longhand over the course of about 4 days. I have tiny tiny writing, so when I do finally type up I'm always pleasantly surprised to see how much I've written. And I can edit as I type, so I save a lot of time in the proofreading stage.

Hot Doom

@Xanthophyllippa and all, thanks for the ideas! I am just in a bit of a panic, and it's so hard to focus my thoughts when I can't think straight! my goal is to write a thousand words tonight, even if it's bullhonkey, so it at least gives me something to reflect on and edit later. I have a barebones outline, but I think filling it up more will help a lot, as a guide. I guess I just feel scared by the fact that my MA supervisor is unreachable, and right when I am suddenly desperate to interview them, my museum supervisors are also on leave (whhhy was I not blessed with the gift of planning and foresight??).
Also, CHAPTERS. Omg, the thought of writing chapters.

P.S CASH CHARTS. I will do this.

dinos

@LolaLaBalc 1. You are awesome and you can do this. 2. You don't have to do it all on your own, though (the writing, yes, but not the planning). Depression makes work so, so, so much harder than it already is. If you are not already seeing a counselor (your school might have free mental health services), do it. Your school will probably also have academic/study help available, even if your MA supervisor is unavailable. There has to be someone in the library or student services who can help keep you organized and accountable. 3. Good luck, I'm rooting for you!

EternalFootwoman

@LolaLaBalc I just have to second the outline. I like doing a fairly detailed outline because then the paper "almost writes itself"! Plus if there are parts you're fuzzier on, you just write the general idea quickly and keep outlining. And it gives you a good foundation for your thoughts. The visualization of what needs to be written is very helpful for me.

Someone recently told me that he had an outline detailed enough that he never had to write a chapter--it was just, "I'm writing a five page paper on XYZ," which made everything way more manageable.

phylogenetic

@LolaLaBalc You can do this! Outlines are gold, but then also realize that within those outlines don't let the details bog you down! Just plough ahead, and if you get stuck on something, go work on the next thing and come back to it. That way, you'll feel productive and when you have to go back to a couple of hard things at the end it won't seem so overwhelming and terrible!

Keep us updated! You can do it!

hurts

@LolaLaBalc You can defs do that! In May, I wrote my Long Essay of 5000 words in five days and one of my friends wrote her 10,000 word dissertation in ten (then 'transcended space and time' out of tiredness). Also It doesn't HAVE to be perfect. At this stage your biggest issue is handing in 15000 words on time, not The Best And Most Correct Thing Ever Written On This Subject ! XX good luck

Hot Doom

@All Cheers!This is why 'Pinners are the BEST. I put all of your advice in a mental blender and have been making some progress. Your words of encouragement and suggestions helped me bash out 1200 words on Friday night, which was great help for me to start clarifying my thoughts and for filling out an outline, which I think will probably turn into the paper. Admittedly, I let my work fall by the wayside a bit yesterday (ok and sort of today too) due to the fact that it was the warmest weekend of the year in Britain by far, and I had to make use of it! At any rate, I will hopefully be much further along in the process by next Friday and I need to go talk to a doctor tomorrow about possibly getting an extension, allowing for the depression and anxiety I've been experiencing. A chat with some fellow classmates who revealed that they too are on anxiety meds and are also way behind on work, which felt slightly vindicating.
Thank you again for the rallying!

thiscallsforsoap

Is it wrong to wish for bad weather just because I have to work on the weekend? Yes, it is. Everyone, when you're enjoying the nice sunshine please send a brief thought my way, and maybe I'll generate some vitamin D by proxy.

bitchycrosstownexpress

@thiscallsforsoap Ah, I'm sorry. The one weekend I had to work this summer happened to be the one weekend of the season my favorite baseball team was in town so I feel you.

frigwiggin

ATTENTION ALL PINNERS

Restating this from earlier in the week:

If anybody wants to do a mix CD swap, email me at figwiggin [at] gmail [dot] com! Give me your contact info, whether you can ship internationally, and any personal music info you think would be helpful to your swap partner, and I'll hook you up with someone who'll send you some sweet tunes!

Alternately, just send a mixtape to your regular pinpal and call it good.

That is all.

(I'm lying, that is never all.)

cosmia

@frigwiggin Ahhh yes I want to do this! Emailing in a bit!

frigwiggin

@cosmia Yes, good, please do! Tell me how it turns out afterward!

Also, I've gotten a few apologetic emails, so let me clarify--you don't have to have a commenting account to do a swap! You can absolutely be a lurker. So long as you're capable of burning a CD and sending it to your swap partner within a reasonable amount of time, you're qualified! So mote it be.

billie_crusoe

@frigwiggin Oh, fucking yes.

dale

@frigwiggin ...I have a dorky question. Is it meant to be burned as an audio cd (so then we'd have a time limit to stay inside, just like a olden times mixtape) or as a data cd? I only ask because I'm used to the former and I find the latter too overwhelming!

{/this concludes my completely weird question}

frigwiggin

@dale Good question! I had been thinking of it as the former--I suppose if people really want to make a megamix sort of thing they're welcome to, but in my mind it would be a CD with 10-20-ish tracks on it. Really, though, it's up to y'all!

yeah-elle

@frigwiggin yesssssssss

anachronistique

@frigwiggin ....I should probably see if I have any CD-Rs, shouldn't I.

Decca

@frigwiggin I'm all over this!

jcrewgodzilla

Hello 'pinners! Long time listener, first time interject-er. Having a crazy week this week. Was curious if there are any NOLA pinners around? I've recently been feeling bereft of enough 'can call any night of the week to go get a drink' buddies and I feel like this is as likely a crew to cull through than anywhere else.

Danzig!

@jcrewgodzilla Be sure to check the Pinup boards up on the top of the page!

Creature Cheeseman

@jcrewgodzilla I'm in nola! I wish we could do another pinup soon but I feel like people don't check the google group often enough. Either way, I'm pretty much always down to get a drink somewhere.

jcrewgodzilla

@Creature Cheeseman The google group situation is true- I've been ignoring the pinups pretty well as a rule because I always forget- but started another thread just to see what may happen. Find and reply to that! Maybe we can get a ball rolling, etc etc.

lora.bee

May I request some job advice?? I am applying for a new job while I am employed for the first time ever. If the interviewer (fingers crossed I get an interview!) asks why I am leaving my current job, what is a good response? And do I mention to my bosses that I am looking for different work, or keep it on the DL?

Porn Peddler

@lora.bee ...well, why are you looking to leave your job?

TheDragon

@lora.bee Well, why are you leaving your current job? (I'm the daughter of two bureaucrats. I can put a positive spin on ANYTHING.)

lora.bee

@Porn Peddler @The Kendragon The job I have now is great, but not really giving me any experience in what I want to do as a career. I want to work in development & fundraising and am going to school part time for it in the fall. So I am looking for a position that will give me a bit more experience in that area.

discombobulated

@lora.bee I have like no experience with these things, but that sounds like a really good answer!

apples and oranges

@lora.bee That sounds like the perfect answer. Honest, diplomatic.

Good luck, hope you snag the interview!

tessamae

@lora.bee I think that is a fine answer. I have found that honesty is usually the best policy in job hunting, you will appear much more genuine and likable. I've worked in fundraising my whole career, and I can tell you that those qualities, paired with passion and optimism, are star qualities for the field. Good luck!

TheDragon

@lora.bee Yeah, that sounds like the perfect answer. Not stepping on anyone's toes and totally valid.

Blushingflwr

@lora.bee Depending on where you are interviewing, they are often not supposed to ask you that question. But your answer about looking for something more directly related to your career goals is fine. You're not being disrespectful to anyone in your current position and it portrays you as motivated and goal-oriented.

lora.bee

@all Thank you guys so much!!

MilesofMountains

New downside of smalltown living: running into the head interviewer who turned you down for your dream job and having to make awkward smalltalk because he doesn't do the polite thing and pretend he can't see you.

On the plus side, I have delicious cardamom-vanilla iced tea and the day off work!

Summer Somewhere

@MilesofMountains Nooo that is my nightmare! (Not the ice cream.)

Jenn@twitter

@MilesofMountains I ran into my ex's new partner today. That was...super-duper awkward. I hear you.

Xanthophyllippa

@MilesofMountains Also the downside of being on the tenure-track market in a really small field. In any given conference session, there's the possibility that EVERYONE there has turned you down for a job.

nyikint

I'm becoming exposed to this debate way too late but I've been reading about arguments over whether or not to reinstate the draft, including in this op-ed by Tom Ricks and I'm wondering what you guys think. I mean, it's kind of an off the wall idea, at least at this time, but I'm curious as to what y'all think..

Inkling

@nyikint
I am of the "Fuck That, Fuck the Military, Fight Your Own Godforsaken Disgusting War, I Don't Support Anything You Do and If I Did I Would Join You Horrible Asshole You Don't Even Take Care of Your Members Why Do You Always Send the Poor" persuasion.

adorable-eggplant

@nyikint Because the draft was so egalitarian the last time?

I'm not against the idea of having public service options (knew a guy in the swiss army who built bridges and mostly enjoyed the experience) but I have a problem with coercive systems of all kinds. On principle. We have AmeriCorps and the PeaceCorps as options, and I've know a lot of people make that choice and have a meaningful experience. Would it be the same if they'd not had a choice? I don't think so.

In fact, I think a volunteer army has an even more powerful effect on curtailing excesses, because the scale of violence has a strong impact on recruitment efforts. Could the US government have gotten away with dumping Agent Orange on a volunteer army? Doesn't seem likely to me. Who would've signed up for that?

People who've made the choice to join the army deserve a lot of respect and gratitude (in my opinion: I've got a lot of friends in the service, so I may be biased here). They put themselves at great risk, but they're rational agents choosing to take that risk. It makes a huge difference, in terms of morale and (again, my opinion) in terms of morality. Because I think some one can sign up with the expectation of X reward, but sending someone to maybe die who didn't decide that path for themselves? What moral society can do that?

Inkling

@nyikint
To me, the draft just implies that I'm, by default, in agreement with the military's agenda. I'm not always going to be down for their shit, you know? I'm not always gonna be down for:
-Robbing farmlands until a country is starving
-Picking off civilians from a helicopter for no investigated reason
-Putting down rebellions
-Arresting people without cause
-Being a dillhole in general
Some people enjoy that, and they're probably really excited that being worthless trash is a lucrative job. Not me, however. They don't get to tell me to do their dumb shit.

Maryaed

@nyikint I am 100% in favor of national service. Hopefully most to many people would take the non-military option but I think it would be fantastic for public spirit, as well as getting undesirable labor done cheap without long-term exploitation. And maybe get many people to see some real world before college which is sorely needed in the current stupid system.

nyikint

@Inkling Is that really fair, though? Servicemembers don't get to pick an agenda, and they definitely don't get to pick whats wars they're fighting - that's the job of the civilian government. For whatever you think about the military's actions, by virtue of civilian control, we're all equally culpable.

Inkling

@nyikint
If one enters a job knowing that the company commits horrible acts, and also knowing that the employees aren't be able to choose what duties they perform within the company, I believe that's fair.

TheDragon

I also would really just like to thank all of you for being awesome. I have been here a little over a year, and I think I've honestly become; more assertive in bed, more accepting of others, kinder, less ashamed of my sex life/sexuality, cleaner (Jolie where are you???), more confident, and smarter about spotting juiceboxes. (Living with the ultimate Juicebox might have added to that skill as well)
So yeah. Thanks.

BucketsOfCool

@The Kendragon Yes to all of this! Life is just better with The Hairpin. Exponentially better.

Lee Van Queef

@BucketsOfCool @BucketsOfCool I feel the same way!

katiemcgillicuddy

@The Kendragon Yes to all of this.

vunder

Does anyone else find that Virgin Mobile/Instagram sponsored ad/post thing distasteful? I mean, lady butts are nice and all but isn't that photo is kind of lurid and objectifying on a site for women?

Roxanne Rholes

@vunder Yeah, I was king of thrown off by that. The vampire book ads were weird, but that picture was just like...do you people even pay attention to your audience at ALL?

Xanthophyllippa

@vunder I also found it quite stupid. I mean, usually I find those kinds of lists at least mildly amusing, but nothing there made me even change my expression.

talaria

Guuuuuys! I created an account solely to post this disgusting first time comment (long time reader, long time faaaaan) but I need HELP! I am PMSing like a bitch and a giant zit has cropped up in the middle of my face. Like, one of those ones where you can feel the surrounding area rising up to meet an indistinct (and therefore hard to puncture) point of pus and pain. I successfully popped it a little when it first arose yesterday, but it's not exactly getting better, and my gentle cleanser/micro-exfoliation clearly isn't solving the problem. What should I do so that I don't have to spend the next few days looking as though I'm totally perplexed by the world with my hand permanently cupped to my cheek?

vunder

@talaria I find tea tree oil helps me, especially overnight. It can make the skin kind of crackly a dry later but in the short term it helps dry it up and avoid infection.

EpWs

@talaria Hotttttt hot water compress--it'll help draw out the pus/infection/etc. And then tea tree oil. I hate those zits, they are the worst.

talaria

@vunder My skin is so generally shitty anyway I'm sure a little dry spell won't do it too much harm. Thanks!

talaria

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Thank you! I am gonna get on this, STAT.

dinos

@talaria You can also use a 2% salicylic acid gel on it. That helps speed up cell turnover so you'll get back to normal faster. Neutrogena RapidClear Fight & Fade gel is good.

Hot Doom

@dinos I 2nd the neutrogena.

area@twitter

@talaria All of the above ideas are excellent! Also: if you have a clay facial mask lying around, try dabbing it on the area, letting it dry, and rinsing it off (like you would with a standard clay mask). It won't make it magically disappear, but I swear it speeds the whole process along. <3 u, clayie! Best of luck, those big lurking proto-zits are the worst.

Mira

@talaria Hot water soak, then that Clean and Clear 10% benzoyl peroxide stuff. I feel you, those ones are the worst.

Also real-time editing, I think those clay masks are indeed super helpful.

barefoot cuntessa

@talaria I've recently had a ton of luck with the Tanda Zap. I got it at Sephora. $50 and lasts for 1,000 uses. I used it 2-3 times per day and my big monster zit went away in a couple days. After falling asleep with my make-up on one night, I had a crop of black heads show up on my cheeks, and it really helped those disappear, too! Wordsnatcher's suggestion is a great one as well.

like a rabid squirrel

@Mira I second the benzoyl peroxide... just don't sleep on your nice pillowcase or use your nice towels with it because it bleaches (says the girl with a fancy set of bleach-spotted towels).

Sugar Kane's Hip Flask

@talaria Bread poultice that scoundrel!!!

mystique

Here's another whizzbang of a questions, folks: how do you deal with the idea that you like someone MORE than they like you? Because even acknowledging it isn't enough for me -- I've acknowledged and acknowledged, but my heart still twists when I come across something he would like, or when I say or do nice things for him, which he appreciates in an "oh, thanks!" way and that's it, which stings.

It doesn't help that this has no future and very little past (thanks to people moving around) and I am being really stupid and investing too many feelings in a fling and he's just being nice. But I don't know how to solve my FEELINGS :(

TheUnchosenOne

@mystique How well do you know this guy? If it's really well I am not sure of what to say other than just grin and bear it and eventually it'll go away, but if he's just a casual acquaintance it might be best to cut off contact. I know it sucks but it sounds like it's making you miserable and it's not going to turn into anything more.

helloimgreen

@mystique i would also like to know the answer to this.

FEELINGS. UGH.

bluestreakmama

@mystique I am in this exact situation right now. Luckily there is some moving around in my immediate future as well, but the next three weeks are probably going to suck. FEELINGS UGH indeed.

EternalFootwoman

@mystique I don't have much constructive to say except I've been there and it sucks. I basically handled it by journaling like a twelve-year-old and listening to lots of sappy love songs alternating with angsty love songs. The best thing that happened was when they moved away and I no longer had contact. I would not have cut off contact on my own, but it was so, so helpful.

mystique

@TheUnchosenOne Gah, I can't even tell you which one it is! We haven't known each other long, but he is one of those people (like my good friends) that I can see staying friends with for a long time. I only have about a week left on the same coast as him, so I'm going to hang out with him and keep in contact until next month, when I plan to cut it all off and see if I even want to go back after.

mystique

@helloimgreen I think it's really just cut off contact for a month and see how you feel after. But I'm putting that off because after next next week we won't be in the same place for four months, and I'm stuck at home for a bit, so I have a) a reason to keep in contact (possible hangouts!) and b) hours and hours to PINE.

mystique

@bluestreakmama The pining is just so much fun! :P

mystique

@EternalFootwoman I'm so glad someone else has been there before. It feels wrong not being able to control my feelings and tell them to go away because of the futility of the situation. But sappy love songs help.

bluestreakmama

@mystique Fun is one word for it! (This isn't the first time I've been in this situation so I'm starting to wonder if I like to pine because it means I don't have to take any kind of scary feelings-confessing action? It's Therapy Friday on this open thread...)

like a rabid squirrel

I move next Thursday. Which also means that next Thursday the boyfriend is officially no longer my boyfriend, I occupy a mostly-unfurnished apartment halfway across the country from all my people, and I have to pull my shit together to start my PhD program and make friends and find doctors and figure out where the good grocery stores and coffee shops are while maintaining a shred of sanity.

It's really sinking in that, exciting though moving to a new city and meeting people may be, once I get there I'm going to be really on my own and have to feel all the feelings to get through it... and I had my last therapy appointment today. Completely emotionally drained. Is it bedtime yet?

talaria

@olliegrace I feel ya, honey. I moved internationally a few months ago and I'm still trying to sort the dissonance out (and find All New Services People, which sucks). Just go easy on yourself, that's all I can say.

Danzig!

@olliegrace Where are you moving to? Get a new therapist in a new town, along with your new career! It's always fun because you're allowing someone new the thrill of discovery as you recount all your issues.

And if you've got the time, check Meetup.com for finding new people! And remember well A Queer Chick's advice re: getting laid in grad school!

like a rabid squirrel

@Danzig! I'm moving to Madison. Everyone I know who's lived there has loved it, so I am excited in that respect. Definitely looking into getting a new therapist, though I'm scrambling to get some other medical stuff in order (need weekly lab work, supervising doctor, etc etc) so it's kind of on the back burner. I will, of course, keep A Queer Chick's advice in mind when I feel up to dating... though currently (sitting in my boyfriend's house) that feels like a time that's way in the future.

Thanks for the input, everyone! I feel a bit better. Deep breaths.

Xanthophyllippa

@olliegrace Email me, hun -- if you want one, I can recommend a therapist here who specializes in women in academia. But email me anyway (this name at gmail) because then I can hang out with you when you get here!

EpWs

Took care of sick boyfriend last weekend. Got sick myself. Am still sick. Send soup.

Saskquatch

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
"Miso w/ Veg"
I tried to paste an image, but failed

EpWs

@Saskquatch EVEN BETTER

EpWs

@Saskquatch I don't know where the picture went and now my reply sounds awful! THERE USED TO BE A CHARMING EMOTICON OF SOUP, WHERE DID IT GO?

Saskquatch

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Black hole! Run for your liiiives!

JadedStone

GUYS.
It is my TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY on TUESDAY

I have never made it this far. And we are so functional. He is not a creative dude so he sent me a spreadsheet with all the ways in which I excel at being a near perfect girlfriend. I scored 98%! It was both disturbing and really really sweet.

BucketsOfCool

@Jade Congrats! An Excel Spreadsheet! I think that is pretty awesome.

bitchycrosstownexpress

@Jade Congrats! My three year was last Saturday and it is also a record for me. He initiated a conversation which involved the phrase "our future." It was exciting.

sarantium@twitter

@Jade An Excel spreadsheet! That is so adorable.

Summer Somewhere

@Jade Is it weird that I want to see the spreadsheet.

apples and oranges

Oy I think my friend might be making a choice-in-boyfriend mistake and I want to shield her from bad feelings because he last boyfriend was a champion juicebox. But you have to let people live their lives? He's not an evil person, just she deserves better, and other social circle circumstances mean this potential relationship is going to cause a lot of other grief. Blehh.

EpWs

@kangerine I have been there, girl. But you can't really say anything, you know? You can be there for her and hopefully he will come around and prove you wrong. Fingers crossed.

Fiddle dee dee

@kangerine

My mother says: You can't tell 'em not to, and when it ends, you can't tell 'em I Told You So.

frigwiggin

First world problems: my boyfriend brought me tacos for lunch (I was supposed to go with him and his coworker, but it turned out the coworker's car only had one free seat), and I ate all my chips but I still have leftover beans. :( I want more beany chips!

Blushingflwr

@frigwiggin I hate it when that happens! I basically always run out of salsa before I run out of chips, and then I am sad.

melis

Ohh nooo this is what happens when I write stuff elsewhere and people take me seriously:

Right now, Ortberg stands out as a lone example of Greek yogurt hate.

melis

GOTTA WORK ON SOUNDING EVEN MORE FACETIOUS

frigwiggin

@melis I bought three different varieties of yogurt at the grocery store on Monday (the strawberry-flavored drinkable Mexican kind, for breakfast; plain, for smoothies; and honey-flavored strained yogurt, because it is murderously delicious) and I felt embarrassed on behalf of myself while standing in the checkout line. WHAT HAVE I BECOME

tessamae

@melis Haters gonna hate.

"Just because Greek yogurt is beloved now—maybe you're sitting near a cup, as you read this?—don't think people won't find reasons to turn on it."

melis

@tessamae Yeah, don't hate on my haterism!!! LEAVE ME FREE TO HATE (oh hummus [fuck you hummus{no but I mean obviously eat hummus if you want to, was that really not clear?}])

gobblegirl

@tessamae Oh no! What if my food isn't trendy!??!! Will the cool kids stop sitting with me at lunch?

melis

you guys nobody talk to Greek yogurt today, okay? It'll be hilarious!

tessamae

@melis I'm pretty sure haterism is covering in the first amendment. Right? Or the fourth. Tenth? I dunno, I'm no lawyer. Whatever. She's dumb.

@gobblegirl I bet you're snacking on rice chips right now. SO PASSÉ.

wee_ramekin

@melis This is hilarious. I guess she has you confused with evil melis?

melis

@wee_ramekin I think (hope) it's all in good fun. Oh my God, is this what it feels like to be Katie Roiphe?

stuffisthings

@melis Oh, the Atlantic. Don't ever change.

StandardTuber

@melis You know you've really made it when your dietary issues have been argued about on the internet.

Nicole Cliffe

@melis What if Katie Roiphe is engaged in elaborate performance art?

stuffisthings

@melis You should just go ahead and write your "Why Greek Yogurt Is Not So Bad" piece for Slate now and store it away for a rainy day.

stonefruit

@Nicole Cliffe I don't know whether that would make everything better or worse.

gobblegirl

Important Question #1:
Anyone have a good recipe for Kettle Corn?

Disastrous Pavlovas@twitter

@gobblegirl I like the recipe here the best: http://frugalliving.about.com/od/frugalfoodsrecipes/r/Kettle_Corn.htm

By "like" I mean I have not burnt the sugar/burnt myself/lit my kitchen on fire using the method as described in this recipe.

Toonz

@gobblegirl I don't have a recipe but the one from Trader Joe's in the pink bag is one of the best things I've ever tasted.

gobblegirl

Important Question #2:
I love Moroccanoil hair stuff, but it is expensivvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve! Anyone know a cheaper alternative (hopefully one that smells as good), or a good cheap source online?

Summer Somewhere

@gobblegirl Jumping in on this thread because I use the same brand and would also like to know.

lora.bee

@gobblegirl That scent is how I imagine heaven would smell.

gobblegirl

@lora.bee Like Moroccanoil and gardenias.

EternalFootwoman

At long last (I graduated in December and am the last of my classmates to find a job because an ill-fated romantic entanglement kept me on a futile search for a local job until April) I am employed! I got the job offer a month ago and on Wednesday I'm driving up to look at apartments. I've been living with my mom for two years, so this is most welcome.

I'm super-excited to get my stuff from the storage unit where it's been living for two years and to have my own place again. I can't wait to decorate!

Peanut

@EternalFootwoman Let's all flip the bird to ill-fated, distracting romantic dramas that keep us from employment! Good luck with the move!

isitisabel

I've started making plans with friends I've barely seen all summer for my week home between internship and school, but I'm still hoping I'll be able to get my wisdom teeth out in that week, so it's also very possible I'll be spending the week drugged up watching tv.

On another note, my internship is almost done! It's my last day in the office, then we have some events tomorrow, and then I leave on Sunday afternoon. This has been such a great experience, and probably my longest period of uninterrupted happiness for at least a year, and I'm going to miss it so much. I'm hoping I can keep the mood and the sense of direction I've found here when I get back to familiar environments.

dale

Pinpets is still waiting for more submissions!
(er, sorry pinners, I haven't been the greatest at mentioning this lately, and I have been lax about logging in, but..)

Sarah H., when you get your new kitten, submit a picture!

pinpets.tumblr.com
pinpets.tumblr.com/submit <---SUBMISSION PAGE (use the PHOTO submit option instead of the text post, otherwise the pixel width restriction can do wild n'crazy things to your pictures)

frigwiggin

@dale Ah! I will send some when I get home, now that Flat Tire is recovered from her surgery and her fur is growing back.

tessamae

@dale I finally submitted! :)

dale

@sox I won't be able to log in to approve until I get home - so another 2 hours?

laurel

@dale: I just submitted a recent pic of my beloved oldladydog. She is ailing and I'm very worried about her. Thanks for the reminder and the chance to celebrate her a little.

anachronistique

@dale I don't have a pet, but my friend subjectoftowels on Tumblr has kittens she's fostering that are looking for a home if you'd like to signal boost? http://subjectoftowels.tumblr.com/post/29441619643/talia-and-the-batkittens-update

dale

@laurel 3 cheers for little oldladydogs! I look forward to seeing her.

ClogginBoydCrowder

@dale Fantastic! Look at all those cute animals! I will have to send something in.

barefoot cuntessa

@dale I tried, but it looked like it wouldn't let me upload from my computer and from a website only. Am I failing at computers or do I have to upload it to photobucket or something first?

dale

@barefoot cuntessa Nope- you should be able to ask it to pick it up from your computer. But if you're having trouble, email it to me at pinnerpets at gmail dot com, with your writeup and your pin name and I'll post it for you. Don't mind at all.

Roxanne Rholes

Is it wrong to go on dates with a dude you are not super attracted to, but is really hilarious and smart? I don't know, maybe I could learn to find him hot later?

EternalFootwoman

@Roxanne Rholes Personally? I can't tell you the number of times I've met someone, gotten to know them, and found them infinitely more attractive once personality came into play. But there is a limit, I guess. After a couple dates, if nothing's improving, I don't think it's fair to keep seeing him.

Kulojam

@Roxanne Rholes I don't think it is wrong unless you decide you definitely are not interested in him and end up leading him on...I have tried this and it has never worked for me (ie, i have never developed an attraction where there wasn't one in the beginning), and I have ruined a friendship because of it. But! people are different so maybe you will develop an attraction.

JadedStone

@Roxanne Rholes are you SOMEWHAT attracted? Have you slept together?

Queen of Pickles

@Roxanne Rholes
It took me until the 3rd date to realize that my most recent Ex-Dude was not just a funny dude who I wasn't really attracted to, but was in fact a dude who was so sexy that I could barely keep myself from ripping his clothes off at inopportune times.

But he made me laugh - and being with him was spicy and fun and challenging and surprising and interesting. I've never had the turnaround happen with a guy who was just "nice".

null

One of my most important relationships was with a guy I was not at all attracted to, but who cracked my shit up more than any other person I've met to this day. That's going to get you through your relationship longer than the physical attraction will! But I agree with the others that if it's not clicking after several dates, it's time to move on.

Saskquatch

@Roxanne Rholes How could it be wrong if it's just a date? Have a great time and see what happens. When I tried that it turned (slowly) into a wonderful 10 year relationship.
Or wait maybe I am misunderstanding your statement - do you mean he is not physically attractive, like your thirteen year old alter ego would call him ugly? Or like, you are not attracted to him in that he has terrible political views and pedantic tendancies (or somethings)?

Megasus

@Roxanne Rholes I think it's OK as long as you aren't leading him on. And I don't see why you can't be platonic friends if you both enjoy each other's company.

Lindita

@Roxanne Rholes Who knows if you'll end up changing your mind, but there's nothing wrong with going on a couple of dates to see where things go as long as you're not being misleading.

For what it's worth, my most wonderful relationship ever (sexytimes included) was with a guy I at first found seriously physically UNattractive.

Roxanne Rholes

@Jade No, we haven't slept together...and @everyone else: You are all the cutest! Haha. I'm going to go for it. We went on a date last week and it was a really fantastic time. So screw it! Hooray!

This is my new username

@Roxanne Rholes I am a firm believer in give it a few dates and then decide. I personally take a bit of time to really be comfortable and be myself around new people, which also results in me needing more time actually know whether I like someone or not. If you become not excited about seeing that person after a few times though then I think it is time to end it/ talk about being just friends, or whatever.

Kulojam

I asked out a boy for the first time EVER in my 33 years. He said yes! AAAAAAAAH! He's French and cute and we're going out for wine this weekend, so a truly crap week ends on a positive note. Plus! it is Friday and I'm hosting girl wine time tonight.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Toonz

@Kulojam yay!

Saskquatch

@Kulojam Good for you Brave One!

apples and oranges

@Kulojam You go girl! :)

PistolPackinMama

@Kulojam REPORT BACK.

Kulojam

@everyone Thanks for the positive vibes, guys! We had fun - I didn't really feel any sparks, but that's cool. I asked out a real life boy and we went out on a real life date and now I think we'll be friends. Yay. When I was contemplating asking him, I thought "what would the pinners tell me to do?" I second everything Kendragon mentioned upthread about the Pinner community being so supportive and fantastic. Thanks, everyone!

The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak

Hey everybody. So I've been feeling a little bi-curious lately. I made out with a girl for the first time ever last weekend (cue terrible Katy Perry song).

She was a friend of a friend. I was super attracted to her immediately, which has never happened to me with a woman. We've been texting back and forth frequently since, but she lives two states over. So, so confused.

...and intrigued.

JadedStone

@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak BICURIOUSITY? SATISFIED.

http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=311

The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak

@Jade Oh man, that is great.

Sadly, it is more like: BICURIOUSITY? PIQUED. And now she is too far away to get to that satisfaction part.

JadedStone

@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak roooaddddtrip!

The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak

@Jade Lol I may have to. That, or hitchhike on the back of a bi-curious dinosaur.

PistolPackinMama

@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak Are they small states? And if you're bicurious and not thatgirlcurious... OKC it up, lady.

The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak

@PistolPackinMama Big states, unfortunately. I'm in California, so you can imagine.

Haha, thatgirlcurious? Perhaps. Trying to figure it out. I've definitely pondered OKC. The only problem is that I tend to be more attracted to personalities/chemistry with girls than the combination of instagram pictures and basic writing skills online profiles tend to provide.

But I am definitely going to be working on figuring this out in the months to come. Thanks for your support! Now that this girl thrust my bicuriousity onto my radar, I'll be keeping more of an open mind -- and an open eye. ;)

PistolPackinMama

@The Frozen Head of Dorothy Zbornak

Git it, grrrrl

(AND REPORT BACK! I LOVE HUG STORIES!)

Danzig!

Home! I hate it. Now that I've been accepted to a grad program in my home state my parents are really gunning for me to come back, but I've only been here for a week and change and I'm already miserable. At least my cat's here! He's a good cat. Going to see about living in Denver. At the very least, it's going to be much cheaper than NY.

My brother's substance problems are getting a lot worse, at least in the sense that the substances he's using are much more dangerous. He's beeen sent to rehab but he's a tough nut to crack, so. It's stressful, perhaps especially because we're not very emotionally remote.

In better news, I think I drove away a prospective date by denigrating n+1. Might've dodged a bullet there.

Reginal T. Squirge

Yeah, you dodged a bullet. I once drove a date away by shitting on The Beatles for a good 15 minutes. I take all the blame for that one, though. I have since learned to just hide my Beatle hate from pretty girls forever.

Megasus

@Reginal T. Squirge I don't really like the Beatles! We do exist!

Lucienne

@Reginal T. Squirge Hating the Beatles (but, like, even A Hard Day's Night?) is definitely something you should leave until the third date.

Danzig!

@Reginal T. Squirge wait, n+1 is the Beatles of online lit mags?

Does that make Grantland the Stones or the Monkees?

@Megano! Somehow I never grew up w/ The Beatles, it was always either Prince or Merle Haggard with my mom, or Bowie with my dad. I get people not liking the Beatles, but not liking Bowie? Insane. The only person I know who openly declares such a hatred is Morrissey, naturally.

Reginal T. Squirge

I'm not sure. All I know is that The Hairpin is Floyd.

downcomforter

@Danzig! Grantland is Aerosmith.

Danzig!

@downcomforter Oof brutal KO.

I was gonna place The New Inquiry but I cannot think of a lesser 70's band. I like Blue Oyster Cult and Faces too much. Maybe Humble Pie?

I can see Klosterman as Steven Tyler.

Reginal T. Squirge

Julie Klausner's podcast is Regina Spektor.

Danzig!

@Reginal T. Squirge Ooooooh you take it back!

Reginal T. Squirge

I mean that as the highest of compliments.

Danzig!

Just got a text and it turns out she also detests n+1. Cool deal

So yeah, forget the Beatles

Inkling

Maybe you guys scared them off by ranting for 15 minutes, context irrelevant.

Reginal T. Squirge

Probably more likely.

Danzig!

@Inkling No rants, just a "n+1 is terrible" remark! I'm no objectivist, I know how to be brief

Toonz

Ok so a few weeks ago I was chatting with a guy friend on skype and I said "I really like you" and he responded with an "oh...ok." We haven't talked since. The end. Also I am never telling a dude about my feelings ever again.

wee_ramekin

@Toonz OH my gooooosh, Toonz. That...is really awkward and I am so sorry!

Also, that sucks! Because you ladied up and put it out there, and then just got totally stonewalled. I commend you for your bravery, and deride him for his lack thereof.

HeyThatsMyBike

@Toonz Booo! He is laaaaame! You are great!

laurel

@HeyThatsMyBike: No, let's all shun people who are forthcoming about their feelings!

God I love a good shunning.

HeyThatsMyBike

@laurel I'd rather shun the people who respond to people being open with their feeling by never speaking to them again if we're gonna get into shunning.

laurel

@HeyThatsMyBike: Let's shun 'em all, then make a social horror film entitled, The Shunning.

dale

Some of you may already know about this, but I just learned of it this week - The Open Source Women Back Each Other Up Project and Gentlemen's Auxiliary. It came up in a comment relating to the Readercon incident. I don't get to very many conventions, but I thought it would be good to sign up anyway just in case, and maybe share the details to others who might be more regular attendees. They have the website, a FB page, an LJ, and a Twitter as well.

barefoot cuntessa

I got a pretty awesome compliment at my horrible retail job. The CEO and founder of one of the very few non tech companies in my small town came in my store and we chatted, I was doing my regular really soft selling routine. When he left he gave me his card, told me he's not hiring, but he recognizes excellent salesmanship when he sees it. I sent him an email thanking him for his compliment and told him I'd love to intern if the opportunity arose. Who knows if anything will come of it, but it was just so nice to be recognized. Barely above minimum wage in one of the most expensive areas in my large state is not much validation. So yay me!

Porn Peddler

@barefoot cuntessa Complements at my retail job frequently make me hold back tears. Seriously, anyone who receives excellent customer service at a store or something, please tell the person that helps you, or send a letter to the manager. We all appreciate it so much.

Fiddle dee dee

@barefoot cuntessa Well played!

thiscallsforsoap

Canadians and hockey fans! I'm going to write* a book called 'Grapes, they don't love you like I love you: An ode to Don Cherry'.

*Idly come up with a title for.

Saskquatch

@thiscallsforsoap please youtube "Don Cherry's Piano Desk". Thank you.

sarantium@twitter

aaaaaaaaaugh you guys BOYS

... I never thought I'd type that sentence. But my boyfriend and I got in an argument on Monday -- OK, rather, I felt like he wasn't paying attention to me and didn't miss me and ended up calling him in tears and generally it was pretty awful. And I think we're OK now, but it's hard to tell, because said boyfriend is lousy at textual communication and he's 2000 miles away and all I want is a hug and to see him smile at me, damn it.

I keep thinking about how much better it was when I was there -- I visited a week and a half ago -- and sort of hugging one of his sweatshirts and feeling sorry for myself. Six more weeks of long distance. I can do six more weeks. Someone, commiserate with me?

... BUT my boss totally likes me, and is spending some absurd amount of money to keep me here for an extra week (I'm an intern, and she provided housing for another week, rebooked my flight and upped my stipend) so I can finish up my work and present, and also she'd like to work with me again? Considering I am in a very small academic field, and she's a co-PI on a experiment, I'm pretty pleased with myself.

thenotestaken

@sarantium@twitter Long distance is the WORST, I did it for two years so I feel ya girl. I think a key thing is that because you're getting so much less communication than you're used to, the tendency to overanalyze every little bit that you DO get and the amount thereof shifts into hyperdrive. And I know it's lightyears easier said than done, but you can't get into that mindset, you just can't. Just keep remembering how great you guys are and how much faith you have in your relationship and how soon you'll see him. For me it also helped that we pretty much only actually talked on the phone, rather than text-based communication where everything is sooo easily misinterpreted. Hang in there! And that's amazing about your job! You superstar you!

Lindita

@sarantium@twitter You're not alone! I have about five weeks left. And it sucks, but at least you know the end is in sight. Make lots of Skype dates and stay busy so you don't have time to feel miserable. And way to go with the work stuff!

Brunhilde

I start my new job Tuesday!!!! I'm skerred.

Brunhilde

@Brunhilde Also, I ended up drunk-tweeting the other night and woke up in the morning to an e-mail that TMills had favorited one of my tweets and I totally forgot that I had made a smartass comment about California Mountains until I went back and looked at my feed.

olivebee

I just got interviewed for a story in Glamour magazine...it's about the transition from dating to marriage. It was fun!

Plant Fire

@olivebee That sounds so neat! Let us know when the story comes out if you can, I'd love to read it.

BucketsOfCool

@olivebee Exciting! I want to read it!

JadedStone

My ode to Jolie Kerr, as I miss ask a clean person:

HOW DO I CLLLEEAAANNNNN WITHOUT YOU???
I WANT TO KNOW?
OH HOW DO I CLLLEEANNN WITHOUT YOU???
NOW THAT YOU'VE GONE AWOL?
HOW DO I EVVVVAAAAAAA
EVVVAAA SURVIVVVEEEE???
OH, OH HOW DO I CLLLEEEAAANNNNN????

PistolPackinMama

@Jade Clean Me, Maybe?

EpWs

@PistolPackinMama Hey, I just met you/and this is crazy/but here's some bleachie/so clean me, maybe?

HeyThatsMyBike

@Jade I know. I hope she's just working on her book and not hospitalized for excessive bleach and vinegar inhalation.

EpWs

Ooh, awesomeness/weirdness of the week:
For the first time IN MY MEMORY, I will not be going back to school this fall. WHAT IS THIS I CAN'T EVEN. I'm so used to my years being divided up by semesters and breaks that I am not sure how to process this.

Porn Peddler

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher IT WAS REALLY WEIRD. It was so weird. Everything just keeps happenings and winter is so beautiful and...and actually I am taking an online class this fall and now I'm kind of back into that and annoyed.

anachronistique

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher IT'S INCREDIBLY TRIPPY. But enjoy it! (Buy school supplies anyway!)

Laughable Walrus

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher aahh I feel you! I just graduated from college and it feels CRAZY that so many of my friends are going back to school soon and I'm just...not. What now? How do I tell time is passing without the passing of semesters?

EpWs

@Laughable Walrus I KNOW, RIGHT? My entire worldview is changing. I'm thankfully employed (in my field, howwwww did that happen?) so I need to adjust to this whole "vacations are whenever you want, but you only have x hours of vacation time so choose wisely, there are no more month-long breaks, but on the plus side you're getting paid for doing the same stuff you were paying money to do in school!" mindset.

Also also, I'm making my first major "you are an adult and you make some money and you can buy things" purchase today--a large (for me) television. I am so excited, you guys. This is ridiculous.

This is my new username

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher It is super weird! Personally, I find time goes by so much faster now that I am not in school some how? That is perhaps because I am far less stressed, or maybe it's just an age thing, or maybe I am just crazy. It's hard to say really.

boxlady

I'm a self-rolled man! Calling I'm a self-rolled man!

I tried to respond to your comment on the douching article, but I don't think you saw it. I could send you a fair amount of information on what I've done/what I know about vestibulitis. If you see this, email me! boxyladyexpert@gmail.com

whizz_dumb

What's with those amazing butts in the picture for that sponsored story floating around the past two days?

whizz_dumb

Jus sayin, butts be jumpin out at me n stuff.

Plant Fire

I am in such a good mood right now. My boyfriend is coming to visit for the weekend (LDR, until December) and will be here in about an hour! And we are going to one of the restaurants that is still having restaurant week deals for dinner! My week was kind of boring and I'm still waiting and waiting on a job that I've done 8 interviews for spread out over the past 4 and a half weeks and it's the only place I've gotten an interview at and uggghhhhhh I'm just glad this is going to be a good weekend.

frigwiggin

When I sit in my desk chair for too long at work, I start getting this weird feeling (not quite painful, almost a cold feeling, but alarming in general?) in small quarter-sized spots on my calves, and I can't help but imagine looking down to see ulcers opening up on the skin or something. Ughhhhh I'm going to go walk around the building several times now.

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin Also my knees hurt. Work is killing me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@frigwiggin
Try toe touches for knee pain? Hold for a count of 45. I find it surprisingly effective!

Porn Peddler

paging melis, I am eating hummus off my fingers right now because I ran out of cucumber

STOP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

frigwiggin

@Porn Peddler I was so close to doing that with cookie butter yesterday when I ran out of apple. I settled for a spoon, though, cuz that shit is sticky.

Springtime for Voldemort

DENVER PIN-UP! Tomorrow!Not sure where yet, but check here for more.

frigwiggin

This is one of those days when I just want to write a comment here that says I WANT ATTENTION I WANT ATTENTION I WANT ATTENTION I WANT ATTENTION GIVE IT TO ME

No? Just me?

(I think probably most of my comments scream that in subtext, though, so it would be redundant to actually do it.)

lora.bee

@frigwiggin I am honestly just sitting at my desk on the FOT, poised to comment and clearly not getting any work done at all.

frigwiggin

@lora.bee I am...almost doing work. Slowly, slowly working. FOTs simultaneously entertain me and make me feel really lonely (maybe because I don't have anybody in this town that I can really hang out with IRL?), and the latter drives me to be more and more active on the FOT to the point of annoying other people.

lora.bee

@frigwiggin I would hang out with you if I was in your town!

Reginal T. Squirge

That's me, every single day.

frigwiggin

@lora.bee Aw, thanks! I would hang out with you too.

@Reginal T. Squirge Someday my naked desperation for the approval and love of other human beings is going to get me in trouble. (Ha. Ha. Ha.)

camanda

@frigwiggin Hello, you must be me in another universe.

My own naked desperation for the approval and love of other human beings is basically what led me to nearly cry at work three times last week. This promotion is going really well, I swear. (It is! But I still feel like it's not! Wah!)

frigwiggin

@camanda Aw, no! I bet it is going well. I know that feeling so well, though, and it's so close to home that I have no good advice. My boyfriend is always telling me to stop caring so much about what other people think, but how does that happen?! (There are certain things I don't give a frig about, like leg hair and appearance stuff, but there's so much more that hinges so much on [at least certain other] people's approval!)

camanda

@frigwiggin Exactly! It's always on the extremes -- there are all these things that I am completely "I Do What I Want" about, and all these things that I am completely "Please Tell Me I'm Wonderful! :(" about, and nothing in between. Like you said, how do you fix it? It just comes with time, I guess, and not fast enough. I know I'm better about it than I was in my teenage years, though, which gives me some hope.

PistolPackinMama

@frigwiggin Y'all are so endearing. I am the world's extravertiest extravert and sent a text to someone saying I SPENT ALL DAY ALONE AND HAVE SPOKEN TO NO ONE SAAAAAAVE ME! And he did, and we had dinner, and it was nice.

I relate, is what I am saying.

ALSO I AM PLANNING YOUR MIX.

@camanda-- PROMOTION! WOOT!

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama Oh ha! One of my colleagues stopped by my office one afternoon and said, "Hi!" and I said, "HI!!" and proceeded to talk non-stop for a minute and a half. When I stopped she blinked and I said, "that's not what you came in here for, is it?" Fortunately, she laughed.

Springtime for Voldemort

I am trying to find a part-time desk job, but sadly, my school seems to have magically designed itself to be horrible to anyone who's job isn't in food service.

minty fresh

I just found out I'm pregnant! We were sort of trying, but somehow I'm completely shocked. This will be our second. I don't know how to have a second child. I don't know how to be pregnant with a toddler around. Will my little boy like the new kid? Will I?

anachronistique

@minty fresh Mazel tov!

EpWs

@minty fresh Congratulations! Everything will be fine! (I managed to adjust to my little brother, I'm sure your little one will too. :) )

frigwiggin

@minty fresh I was the second (and last) child, and my brother was about a year and a half when I was born. We fought like monsters as kids! But that's sort of to be expected, I think, and when we weren't fighting we got along famously.

Springtime for Voldemort

@minty fresh Congrats!!

fuck fuck fuck

@minty fresh i was best friends with my older brother by...high school. but before that we didn't kill each other!

EternalFootwoman

@minty fresh Aw, congrats! I feel like you adjust to having kids bit by bit. When you were pregnant with your first, you didn't know how to have an only child and didn't know if you would like it. One of my favorite observations comes from my cousin, who said she loved her first kid so much that, when pregnant with her second, she didn't think it was possible to love the second as much, but she totally did.

Megasus

So! I have been kind of MIA this week/posting from my twitter account because I worked like, 40 hours this week (WOO MONEY!). It was at the magazine I interned at, and I also came on giveaway day (which is when all the free stuff they get sent is up for grabs by staff) so ALSO SWAG. It was the worst task but everyone is super cool there and I always like coming in.
Also NEXT week is busy because Paper Droids got press passes to Fan Expo! (Which is basically Canada's Comic con) and I got a couple of press invites to see stuff AND IT IS ALSO EXCITING.

Sugar Kane's Hip Flask

I'm going to Montréal for three days which is exciting but also sad because that means I'm going home in four days and I don't want to leave Canada! I'm having serious running away fantasies where I hide in a basement of a house until everyone forgets about me, change my name and then live in a cabin in a forest. But anyway, if you have any suggestions for things to do in Montréal I'd love to hear them. Also: will people laugh at my terrible French?

bluestreakmama

@Sugar Kane's Hip Flask From my experience in Montreal people will probably just switch to English when they hear your terrible French. But if you want to practice, just keep going in French and they'll get it. (Maybe?)

mirah

@Sugar Kane's Hip Flask

Downtown is fun and nice to walk around, as is Old Port, but there are super good restaurants in the Plateau and Mile End neighborhoods.

Some pretty typical touristy things to do:
-smoked meat at Schwartz' (not my thing, but some people love it!)
-bagels! Montreal bagels are very distinctive and delicious--most people hit up either St. Viateur or Fairmont Bagels--both located on the respective streets for which they were named
-Musee des Beaux Arts--kind of like Montreal's smaller version of the Met in NYC. They usually have some great temporary exhibits going on and a good permanent collection
-if nightlife is your thing, then check out the clubs/bars/music venues on St. Laurent (aka The Main) and in the St. Denis/Latin Quarter/Village area (everyone just refers to it as "the Village," but it is the gay/queer nightlife area--one bar I really like around there is called the Sainte-Elisabeth--it's got a great outdoor courtyard, but be forewarned that it fills up quickly
-bar culture is pretty big in Montreal in the sense that people go to the "terrasse" after work for a pint or two--Montreal is awesome in the summer, especially to just sit on an outdoor deck for a drink!

Have fun!

thenotestaken

@Sugar Kane's Hip Flask You can totally get by with English/a bit of terrible French here! Mile End is fun to walk around in for cafes and vintage stores/boutiques as well as the aforementioned bagels. Old Port is pretty but expensive and touristy. I like taking visitors to either the Jean-Talon or Atwater farmer's markets. Jean-Talon especially has a lot of amazing places to eat nearby--Triple Crown Dinette for a Southern BBQ picnic, Mason Indian Curry House for self-explanatory, Le Pick-Up for killer sandwiches, and Vices et Versa for Quebec microbrews. If you're into beer Dieu du Ciel is also a must-see. and if it's nice out on Sunday Tam-Tams is a trip! Enjoy!!

Sugar Kane's Hip Flask

@thenotestaken @mirah @bluestreakmama Thank you! Y'all are the best.

Reginal T. Squirge

Almost forgot to mention (again): Portland Hairpin Book Club is next Sunday! August 25th! We're discussing Truman Capote's In Cold Blood. 6PM, at Liberty Glass.

However... I know some people were talking about rescheduling this month's meeting at the last meeting and they typically sort that out on Facebook. I don't do Facebook so maybe somebody else can help here and let me know if they've rescheduled?

I smell burnt toast

Hello pinners! What do you all think of this scarf and would you be my friend if you saw me wearing it?

I like that it's an infinity scarf, but I don't know, 45 dollars. Is it pretentious?

Sugar Kane's Hip Flask

@I smell burnt toast That scarf in insanely cute and yes, I would be your friend if I saw you wearing it, no questions asked, even if you were wearing a "I Hate Kittens" t-shirt underneath. Also it will give you something to read while on public transport! No comment on the price though, because everything over $5 is expensive to me.

Lucienne

@I smell burnt toast Oh man, I really want the Jane Eyre scarf and I don't get paid till the end of the month. Aaaaah.

EpWs

@I smell burnt toast I would be your friend if I saw you READING it

frigwiggin

@I smell burnt toast I've been admiring that scarf for ages! Except I really want one for some good SF/F or something. Anyway, I would def. be your friend.

frigwiggin

@Lucienne Oooooooh! I...should definitely not do that right now, but later. Yes, later.

I smell burnt toast

@frigwiggin What quote would you get, my friend?

frigwiggin

@I smell burnt toast

Argh, trying to decide on just one thing is almost causing me physical pain. Probably something from The Dispossessed by Ursula LeGuin or Riddley Walker by Russell Hoban, because I have stupid amounts of love for both of those books.

I smell burnt toast

@frigwiggin When I had to choose between the Pride and Prejudice quote and the Jane Eyre quote (I disregarded the Persuasion one because I wanted it all to be the same font even though YOU PIERCE MY SOUL) I was also in a nearly physically perceptible pain.
I ended up going with Jane Eyre. Thank you everyone for your input! I really just wanted someone cool to say, yes, buy it, to validate my purchase and my life.

geek_tragedy

@I smell burnt toast

Whocaresit'samazingbuyitnowbuyitbuyit.

Or I would, at least. I am so ordering a custom scarf with a Tess quote. (Hairpinners who read: what's up with Tess being so popular all of a sudden? Why is every pop culture creation EVAR quoting Tess? Why does no one understand what it's about?)

Faintly Macabre

@geek_tragedy I have not read Tess, but I know the answer to this! The beautiful lady from Slumdog Millionaire, Freida Pinto, is in Trishna, an Indian adaptation of Tess. It's sloooowly being released in the U.S. and Europe.

Faintly Macabre

@I smell burnt toast WANT WANT WANT. Except that's not my favorite part of Pride and Prejudice, and Jane Eyre I mostly like the bit about not being an automaton, and Persuasion has the bad font problem. I probably would have chosen Jane Eyre, too, because it's so DRAMATIC.

geek_tragedy

@Faintly Macabre

That's right! I heard about that! I love Freida Pinto, she's brilliant.

I was thinking that I'd also heard Tess evoked by Lady Mary in Downton Abbey and, more shamefully, by the author of 50 Shades of Grey. Tess seems to represent a woman who cedes to desire and has an affair etc. but if you read the "seduction scene" she's clearly raped (and I think most criticism agrees? Altho. I'm not sure, not a Victorianist.) But it seems like everyone finds her to be the epitome of a desiring woman, when really she's just screwed over by Victorian hypocrisy/bad luck. Anyways, all this to say, fuck Angel Clare. Tess is awesome, and I will be ordering a custom scarf with a passage from Tess on it.

sandwiches

@I smell burnt toast

and now I'm going to spend $60 on a custom-made The Left Hand of Darkness scarf. So excited.

lora.bee

My officemate and I are now having an epic That Thing You Do! quote-a-thon.

Lucienne

@lora.bee Oh, there he goes, off to his room to write that hit song "Alone in My Principles."

lora.bee

@Lucienne Lenny, those guys don't know squat about service!

Lucienne

@lora.bee You guys look great in black, have I told you that?

lora.bee

@Lucienne YOU UNPLUG AND YOU RUN, RUN OFFSTAGE!

Smiling. Smiling though.

Reginal T. Squirge

What in the BLOODY HELL is this!? Yeah, like I got time on my hands. You wanna get Fabian away from me?

Wrecking Ball Gown

@lora.bee A man in a really nice camper wants to put our song on the radio! Give me a pen, I'm signing, you're signing, we're all signing.

anachronistique

@Wrecking Ball Gown "You know what these are?"
"Presidential flash cards?"

Angry Panda

@lora.bee "You are my biggest fan."

Springtime for Voldemort

I need some written porn recommendations.

Things I want:
1)Consent.
2)Pussy-eating. Lots of it. Preferably as seen as awesome in it's own right, not this thing we do so she doesn't lose her virginity/to get her warmed up for the "main event"/because we've got all night so why not, etc. I'm pretty much over seeing PIV as the main course, and pussy-eating as the somewhat wilted salad.
3)Obviously, stuff like "chemistry" and "a lack of obvious spelling and grammatical errors". Fanfic, stuff posted on the internet: all fine.

Things I Don't Want:
1)Things that might be called "consent-ish" or "forced seductions". Between rape triggers and how unsexy having to stop and think "but can she really consent if she loses this job (etc)" and get lost in that academic thought, just... no.
2)PIV as the main sex act, the one we've all been waiting for, the act sex wouldn't be complete without.

Thanks!!!

whimsy

@papayalily

Have you tried Literotica.com? They have tons of categories... obviously some of it is terrible, but some is really great!

Springtime for Voldemort

@whimsy I have! I've found some good stuff there, but unfortunately, most of the time I find stuff that's triggering before getting to the good stuff, and once triggered I'm kind of done for the night.

Porn Peddler

@papayalily I might have a scene for you very soon. Or half of one, rather. Last one I sent: pretty boring stuff. Next one I will make a note to send you: pussy is eaten with gusto.

And I write porn but oh my god, it is SO SO SO HARD TO FIND GOOD STUFF. Literotica is......oh my god. So much of it is so bad.

Lucienne

Ugh, my Netflix queue is giving me analysis paralysis. I need someone to make this decision for me.

frigwiggin

@Lucienne HOME MOVIES

Or that documentary about people living underground in New York?

Lucienne

@frigwiggin Neither is on my queue and I feel bad about the length of my queue already. :/ Some movies have been on there for years.

frigwiggin

@Lucienne List a few? Or watch...whatever is #13 on your queue.

Lucienne

@frigwiggin It's Whale Rider! Which is one of the particularly languishing ones. Thaaaaank you.

phlox

@Lucienne Oh, Whale Rider is good!

Danzig!

@Lucienne Paris Is Burning!

Lucienne

@phlox Ah, you are right! It is so good! I thought it would be a stupid Oscar bait-y movie, but actually it is really good.

@Danzig! "We're not here to be shady, just fierce." Which is to say, if I watch Paris is Burning again, I don't know if I'll stop crying in time for classes on Monday.

austengirl

@mystique I tend to pout or get snippy; I try not to insult, but that doesn't always work with my husband. :/ Very occasionally I get worked up into screaming rages, which he's has been on the wrong end of, not because I'm angry with him, but because he's been unlucky enough to be around when it happens. I can't handle being yelled at, I just get quiet, hope that it ends quickly and try to carry on like nothing's happened. Sometimes I'll leave the room until I can calm down or form a coherent response rather than say something I'll regret.

TheDragon

I got to wear my purple heels!!!!

Old Timey Dino

I'm pretty sure this is going to get lost, but BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS! Can anyone provide them? I just finished Gone Girl, Broken Harbor, and House of Leaves. I enjoyed them all, but loved none of them. Lend me your recommendations for books you love!

dj pomegranate

@Old Timey Dino I just finished Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon and it was super great and I loved it. I am now reading Kraken, which is apparently about a GIANT SQUID THAT TAKES OVER LONDON! I am only on chapter two though, so I can't recommend it wholeheartedly yet.

Old Timey Dino

@dj pomegranate OH Kraken looks good! I think I'll download it. I looooved Yiddish Policemen's Union. Maybe I should reread it.

Decca

@Old Timey Dino Eleanor Catton's The Rehearsal.

EternalFootwoman

@Old Timey Dino I just finished "Oryx and Crake" and "After the Flood" by Margaret Atwood and loved them both. The downside is that they are the first two books of a trilogy and the third book isn't due out until next year, so there is zero resolution when you finish reading them.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Can someone convince me to figure out how to stop hating my job, because I actually really love where I work, and I normally don't cry at my desk on Friday nights?

(The crying has since ceased, don't worry, I didn't blubber the whole way home like I was watching a Pixar movie.)

Xanthophyllippa

@Rookie Did something change, that you love where you work but are suddenly crying on Fridays? I totally lost it one day in my office (I had to go home, go for a run, and come back for a meeting) and only later realized that it was because one colleague had been nasty to me all week and I hit my limit.

EIther way, it sucks. :(

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Xanthophyllippa :( Thanks. The things that I don't like about my job are kind of magnified and come to the surface when things are busy... and things are VERY busy right now. So it's a lot of me having too much to do, even if I do know how to do it, and working lots of OT and getting really overwhelmed, and yet some people don't seem to think that things are as bad for me as they are.

Plus, I found out at the end of my very long, but should have been longer, day that the guy who does my job in our LA office is visiting a few weeks later than he was originally scheduled to. Which means any vacation time I wanted to take will have to wait a few more weeks :(

fata morgana

Hi everybody! Long time lurker, first time poster. I've been a little shy about posting because you guys are all super cool, but hopefully I'll be around a lot? Hope your weekends are off to a great start!

PistolPackinMama

@fata morgana Hallo! I made curry. And ate it on my balcony. Good start. GOOD START.

EpWs

@fata morgana Went out for drinks with friends, made poor choices about food (this is after very little sleep last night and very little to eat today, on top of being sick). Hopefully tomorrow will be better! (HI, we're glad you're here!)

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@fata morgana Welcome! Um, I'm still thinking about the peanut butter, Nutella, and bacon sandwich that I ate yesterday, so things are okay.

Bloodrocuted

@fata morgana A touching thread prompted me to finally un-lurk this week. I was too shy to say anything, though, and posted a stupid joke on a different article instead.

fata morgana

@Rookie Wow, that sounds delicious. I'm pretty sure I'll be thinking about that until I can make one for myself!

And @Bloodrocuted,glad I'm not the only new poster. :)

Xanthophyllippa

@Rookie Now I'm thinking about that sandwich, too, and lamenting that I have neither bread nor Nutella. I do have bacon and chocolate, though, so maybe it's time for a batch of bacon fudge.

sarantium@twitter

Does anyone want to volunteer to be someone I can talk to about boys? (Or, rather, a particular boy.) I feel like That Girl in middle school who couldn't shut up about the wonders of the male sex, but I also want to vent about how he is idiotic/fails at life/is wonderful & the best ever.

Danzig!

@sarantium@twitter You don't need our permission. Dish

TheDragon

@sarantium@twitter I talk about boys WAY TOO MUCH, and no one's kicked me out. Yet.
I'll happily volunteer!

Queen of Pickles

@sarantium@twitter Yes, this is what the open thread is for! Next week, let 'er rip at 3pm.

Regina Phalange

Can we talk about Amanda Bynes for a second? THREE alleged hit and runs in just over 3 months - what is going on, girl?

Inkling

@Regina Phalange
Maybe she's secretly killing released and unrehabilitated criminals?

whimsy

@Regina Phalange

I also appreciate that she tweeted Obama about her arrests...

This is so sad... I adore her string of 00's movies like "what I like about you", "Sydney White" and of course "She's the man"
I happen to believe she rivals the Olsen Twins for best crappy/awesome girl flicks!

TheDragon

@Regina Phalange I was the biggest Amanda Bynes fan in the 00's. This saddens me.

fata morgana

@Regina Phalange And she was so funny as a little kid! I loved watching the Amanda Show and All That when I was growing up–– hate seeing her like this. It would be awful for her to be the next Lindsay.

This is my new username

@The Kendragon Me too! I had the biggest soft spot for Amanda Bynes and now she just keeps drunkenly mowing people down with her car and that makes it very hard for me to keep those warm feelings towards her! Stop it Amanda!

theotherginger

just want to say - Hairpin Harlequin(and Harlequin-esque) reading event on Wednesday in Toronto. Check out our fb page.

whimsy

I don't post enough... but I can't resist posting late to the FOT because I have a dilemma....

My Roommate is slowly driving me crazy and it's really hard because she is actually a nice person, but apparently doing the talk before living with her about chores and how things were going to work just isn't. A lot of this has to do with her hiding her co-dependence on her parents from me.

She's in her mid-20's and goes home every single weekend, while she is at the apartment and working less than 40 hours a week she doesn't do anything at the house besides watch TV, make microwave dinners and runs for 10 minutes (no, really only 10, I don't understand either) She has admittedly told me she has zero hobbies. She doesn't call anyone because I didn't realize that the people she counts as friends she doesn't actually hang out with... and then she stole the food I made on my day off this week.... She is so tragic I felt bad yelling at her about it, but C'mon dude.... we set house rules before we moved in!

How do I not let this utterly boring person drive me batty?

Xanthophyllippa

@whimsy You remind her that you set the house rules together, and that if she's not going to follow them, she needs to find another place to live. I mean, what she does in her spare time is up to her, and if she wants to sit around and eat frozen meals and watch TV then there isn't much you can/should do about that. But if she's not pitching in with chores and if she's stealing food - which is NOT ON - then she either needs to change her household habits or GTFO.

Don't feel bad for her - barring depression or other medical issue, she sounds more lazy than tragic. She might well have realized you feel bad for her and may well be playing you as a result.

whimsy

@Xanthophyllippa

Yea... I was pretty upset as well last night because she left her dishes in the sink during her weekly pilgrammage home.
I think I need to give her this last week before she leaves for a month, My major problem is walking that line between being firm in making the rules the important focus and not just bullying her (She decided to make me dinner to replace the stolen food because I got understandably upset)

I suppose it's getting her in the habit of not being lazy and waiting to get yelled at before she does something....

theotherginger

@whimsy speaking from bad roommate experience (and projecting) this roommate is a master manipulator. She will lie on the couch, watch tv and look pathetic and when you say something, will ask you to leave the house. Act first, act firm, and don't regret getting upset!

revlovejoy

i don't post here enough!

Laughable Walrus

hey everybody!! so I settled into full on bum mode this evening and am watching What's Your Number? and drinking casually. I love Friday!

But this movie is making me seriously curious - what IS your number? Anyone? everyone? The main character here is freaking out because she's slept with 20 people but to me that seems so completely normal for someone in their mid/late 20s! For the sake of sharing, I've slept with 7 people, which apparently puts me on the road to super slut-dom according to this movie. (but if this is wrong I don't want to be right! haha sexy times for all!) The whole numbers game is just silly though, right? opinions?

aaaand this is also my first FOT. haha, long time lurking, occasional commenting, but oh man I'm just so curious about this!

TheDragon

@Laughable Walrus I purposely stopped counting at around ten. I'm somewhere between 17-22 and I'm 22 years old. SLUTS UNITE!

questingbeast

@Laughable Walrus If it's just oral, would you say that counts as one or not? Or a half maybe?
(ETA: God that sounds awful, not like I go round handing out blow jobs or anything- just, it may have not gone further in a couple of younger cases, trying to be accurate!)

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@questingbeast
I think that question is addressed in the movie? Which I would recommend watching to get an appreciation of how Anna Ferris is underappreciated.

PistolPackinMama

@Laughable Walrus The Kinsey will give you numbers on average number of sex partners in the American population:

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html#number

From a 1994 source, which I am sure has to have changed in the past 20 years:

30% of American women have had 5 or more sex partners in their lifetime

There are more recent numbers for other partner stats on the FAQ site linked here.

There was an article on here a while ago addressing that question. A lot of people have the Kendragon's perspective that they aren't counting nor are they telling. It was a really interesting thread to read.

iknowright

@josiahg She is hilarious in Just Friends. Also, if you read that New Yorker article about her/the state of women in film, you know how aware she is of how much she's forced to sacrifice just to be able to do work.

Laughable Walrus

@josiahg Anna Ferris is hilarious! Sadly I didn't actually finish the movie as my friends kidnapped me to go watch the Bourne Legacy, which...let's just say staying home to finish What's Your Number? would have been a way better decision! Even the 30 minutes of Anna Ferris I saw gave me a much deeper appreciation for her though.

@iknowright I'll have to check out that article, sounds interesting!

@PistolPackinMama Oh man, thank you for that Kinsey link! That's going to be my favorite fun facts reading for a while. I love hearing about what other people are doing, it's so intriguing. I'll look back for the article here, hairpin perspectives are some of my favorites. I like the idea of not counting/not telling a lot, because, really, why does it matter? (except for generating great statistics for Kinsey, haha)

@TheKendragon kindred spirits!! embrace the slut sisterhood!

@questingbeast the eternal question! I think I come down on the side of "if sex is in its name, it's sex," so oral sex counts (thanks Dan Savage!), but I know a lot of people disagree.

nyikint

This is way too late and NO ONE is going to see this, but to anyone who doesn't know - join us on the SHAREPIN!.

It's where Hairpinners give (some ridiculously cool stuff) away to each other. It's fun and you can either get lots of new free things, or you can de-clutter your own space!

We also have a Kindle sharing library where we can borrow each other's Kindle books!

So come play!

Serafina

I'm planning to raid local loading docks for moving boxes because my ex boyfriend found me at the farmers market and the next morning he was driving 5 mph up and down my street, peering into houses. My roommate found someone to take my room, but that girl wants to move in on the 23rd. Luckily my last day of work was Friday so I can pack and move this week, and also luckily, I'm dropping off my resume at a job a friend recommended me for, and her boss "really wants to meet" me.

Lucienne

@Serafina Jesus. Best of luck, and try hitting liquor stores if the loading docks don't give you enough boxes.

Xanthophyllippa

@Serafina Oh, holy crap. I hope he's just a garden-variety juicebox ex-boyfriend, and not the scary variety. Thinking good thoughts for you!

Liquor stores are excellent for boxes, as are grocery stores -- as long as you don't mind packing your belongings in boxes labelled "TAMPAX" or "PAMPERS" in big letters.

EpWs

@Serafina Good gracious, that's terrifying. I hope your move goes smoothly!

Echoing Xanthophyllippa--grocery stores. Talk to the guys in the produce department and ask for banana boxes. They're fabulous for moving--super strong, and they have HANDLE HOLES in the sides. Only issue is that they have holes in the bottom, but as long as you put something flat there (cookie sheet, cutting board, extra piece of cardboard, etc) down, you're totally fine. I moved my entire kitchen in about four of them. Good luck!

austengirl

@Serafina I don't know if there are any bookstores in your area but I've just gotten a bunch of boxes from a local one, plus they gave me a load of packing paper they were going to throw out. Book boxes are usually pretty strong and are clean inside.

Um, that sounds potentially creepy with the ex, I hope he's not being stalkerish. Good luck with your move.

Porn Peddler

I AM BASICALLY CRYING. I WANT TO SLAP THAT PRETTY FACE SO MUCH. what has come over me. why how what is he.

Porn Peddler

you guys look at him.

look. at. him.

EpWs

@Porn Peddler WHO IS THAT AND HOW DO I ARRANGE TO HAVE ONE DELIVERED TO MY HOME

Porn Peddler

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher SOME GREEK MODEL.

did you watch the video

i had to keep turning it off

so much eyefucking

Porn Peddler

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher and you know who he looks like? uncannily similar other than being buffer and better groomed?

mg.

doesn't your vagina just ache.

EpWs

@Porn Peddler HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS GOING TO ASK ABOUT MARKET GUY'S RESEMBLANCE TO THIS DUDE?
(It was probably the beard. Trufax.)
(Also, girl, do you tumbl?)

Porn Peddler

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I thought I was vanilla but I want to beat the shit out of him. I want to tie his goddamn hands over his head, sit on it, and OPEN HAND SLAP HIM IN THE FACE.

Porn Peddler

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher not habitually. but how could I not use a tool like tumblr? I discover SO MUCH MAN CANDY

EpWs

@Porn Peddler My tumblr dashboard delivers a continuous stream of Avengers and Supernatural man candy (JENSEN GODDAMN ACKLES), but tumblr has any variety you'd like, really. If you end up with an account over there, do let me knowwwww.

Laughable Walrus

@Porn Peddler wow. just...wow. thank you for that!!

Cat named Virtute

Ugh, guys. I have a friend from undergrad who I just don't have a ton in common with, less now that we're not in school together. I've been trying to a gently do a friendship fade, which was all very well when we were living two thousand kilometers apart, but now word is out on facebook that I'm back in town and she wants to have dinner and I just don't want to see her. I thought she might have got the message when I accidentally ran into her the last time I was in town and it was obvious that I hadn't told her I'd be in, but I guess not. I've never really been in this position (normally excessive clinginess is my problem! I think I have successfully dialed that back in my personality, but I normally try to hold on really tightly to my friendships), but I've been horrifically friend dumped MULTIPLE times in my life, and I know how awful it feels. She's certainly not a bad person, just one I have fewer shared values with and not a lot of interest in seeing. What to I do?! I am also way too broke to go for dinner with someone I don't want to see.

fata morgana

@Cat named Virtute I sympathize so much! I'm not sure I have any good advice, but maybe you can say something about money being a little tight right now for going out, and you'll let her know when it's a better time? ... and then just not let her know... Good luck!

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@Cat named Virtute: 'Friendship fade' - I love it

Jenn@twitter

@Cat named Virtute woman up and tell her that while you appreciate the friendship that you had with her, you feel like you're moving in different directions, and that you don't have the time/ability to maintain the friendship. Doing the "friendship fade" doesn't always work, and from the sound of it I would guess that she knows that you don't want to be friends anymore and is trying to push the issue to get a definite answer.