Is there anyone in whom Gabby Douglas does not inspire pure joy? She's like medicine. (Wonderful GIFs here.)
looking back, open thread, the olympics, gymnastics, gabby douglas
YOU GUYS YOU GUYS I met Pistol Packin' Mama and frigwiggin and Never Odd Or Even and they are AWESOME and later today I am going to buy a WATERMELON.
@Xanthophyllippa Jealous of all of you!
And I had an awesome time! And got out of mopping the kitchen floor!
@atipofthehat IN YOUR DREAMS! We did each other's hair and then had a sexy pillow fight.
Or, y'know, Minneapolis. Though I actually met NeverOddOrEven in St. Paul, where we picked her up at an ice cream parlor and whisked her away.
OH and we walked past a salon called "The Pin Curl" but no one was around to take a picture of all of us under the sign.
@Xanthophyllippa what a fun, sexy time for you!
@Xanthophyllippa an outstretched arm self-pic wasn't possible?! I think a repeat adventure is in order. That could be the headquarters for your super-group of the same name.
@Xanthophyllippa I AM SO JEALOUS! But Glad you ladies all had fun!
@whizz_dumb I think what would have resulted in approximately one eyeball's worth of each of our faces. Which, I admit, is how I look best in photos, but the giant hairpin printed on the door probably wouldn't have come out. Aaand this reminds me that I have to get the photo of the door off my camera.
@The Kendragon You're next, my twinsie! We just have to be in the same place at the same time. :D
@Xanthophyllippa Currently in Western Montana. I suggest visiting. It is gorgeous and my mom has an irrational love of stuffing my friends' stomachs full of delicious food!
@The Kendragon This reminds me that I got to meet PPM's parents! Awesome folks.
@Xanthophyllippa Now I want to meet all of you, and Pinner families. I missed open thread last week, and even though I was having a ball camping, I MISSED you guys!
@The Kendragon Well then - you're definitely next up for a visit!
@Xanthophyllippa Ahhhh, it was the greatest! I had so much fun with you guys, you're all awesome and kickass and made me happy that I got sent to Minnesota for this dorky conference. We're going back to California tomorrow, but I kind of don't want to leave...
I initially had a response along the lines of "her smile could power XYZ", but then I felt weird. I leave the puns to a better Pinner.
@Lit Drunkard i love that they're all on twitter, being teenagers, trying to flirt with justin bieber. the juxtaposition of teen girliness with EXTREME PHYSICAL PROWESS is so inspiring. i hope they all love their bodies like crazy, because SHEESH.
@plonk so true! I'm a few inches taller than some, and I know all of them could crush me with their thighs
@plonk I... I feel a little pervy watching the Olympics. Mainly the swimmers; I have a thing for swimmers. They're young-uns, but dayyyyy-um.
@billie_crusoe Oh man, the guy who won the 100m free? So cute. I'm afraid to look up his age.
@OhMarie this is my favorite picture so far. nathan adrian (guy who won 100m free) TOWERING over the gymnastics ladies: http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/terminal05/2012/8/2/12/enhanced-buzz-30397-1343923413-6.jpg (also sorry i don't know how to do links...)
@plonk Ohhh! That reminds me, has anyone read this? Zoe Smith, an 18 year old weightlifter wrote it in reply to some jerks on Twitter.
@i make lists yes! so awesome.
@double paw? That is adorable.
I got to hang out with some of my absolute favorite people AND see my favorite musical group of all time last weekend and I am STILL riding that high! Seeing Sigur Rós was a dream come true for me, especially with my husband standing right next to me, us up close to the stage, both with shiny eyes. AND another bonus- I got to meet @Faintly Macabre there and she is super lovely and awesome!
The Olympics are exhausting me and I am sore every day from challenging my body in new ways to position myself while watching them on TV.
I’m trying to spread good vibes out to everyone! Hope you all have a fancy fun weekend. =-)
@New Hoarder Sigur Rós live was like a religious experience for me when I saw them a few years ago. I'll be catching them next week and I am SO EXCITED that I am considering taking the afternoon off work to stand in line for good seats. :X
@New Hoarder I really want to see Sigur Rós. It would be beautiful.
And yes, these Olympics are wearing me out! Staying up late and sitting for hours... hahaha...
@Summer Somewhere Oh, it was absolutely transcendent for me too! I am kicking myself that I did not find a way to see them earlier; this was my first time. I've loved them madly for 11 years!
I also wish I'd stayed and gone to the 2nd Philly show, too, as a lot of people apparently did. I am now hoping against hope that they add some more East Coast shows in late 2012/ early 2013 because I want to see them again SO SO badly!
Where did you see them a few years ago/ where are you seeing them now? Yes, take the afternoon off to inch your way forward! And you will need time off the next day for the afterglow. =-D
@whateverlolawants Yep, I remember that during the Beijing Olympics, I was grumbling to myself, "I'm getting too old for this shit." Then I was all, "Wait, what?"
See them! The tickets are not at all expensive if you live close to one of the show areas!!! It was absolute magic, especially outdoors on a lovely summer evening. I can't believe they sound even better live!
@New Hoarder In Seattle, same city and venue as last time! I'm trying to get the same seats too but since they don't appear to be assigned this time, I'm doubtful.
@Summer Somewhere I know that at the Philly shows, which were lawn seating/ standing room/ GA, everyone was super polite and respectful. As you know, Sigur Ros has a different type of fan following. Everyone was quiet and in awe! (Also probably high). There was also an astonishing age range: families with little kids, baby-boomers, etc., not just hipsters and young professionals.
@New Hoarder Aww, thank you! It was so nice to meet you, too, and the same to you! Having just found out how long the concert would run, I was kind of cranky at the prospect of spending that long standing in bad shoes (and juuust out of chatting distance from my friend), and meeting you seriously brightened my evening.
(Plus I got collards and mac n cheese at one of the trucks later! Yay for non-concession food options!)
She's like happy pills those Russians sure need. =-(
@New Hoarder Seriously, I felt so awful for those girls. They're clearly under SO MUCH pressure, and they're just teenagers. They both kicked ass at their floor routines.
Hi everybody! I'm in need of some crowd-sourcing. I am begrudgingly attending an Anything But Clothes party tomorrow and am very close to just wrapping a Snuggie around myself and calling it good. I usually love theme parties, but am feeling lazy about this one.
Anyone have any easy suggestions? I have almost zero sewing skills, but I can work magic with safety pins and duct tape.
@reebs14 Wear curtains. Pin them together on the sides with safety pins and wrap a tieback around your waist.
Bath "sheets" or giant size beach towels. If you can find two that will meet around your body when held lengthwise (one in front of you and one in back of you), you can use your safety pin skills to turn them into a sheath dress. With a duct tape belt!
@reebs14: This doesn't help, but makes me laugh.
@reebs14 Trash bags and reflective tape! Wear the trash bag like a poncho (or a strapless onesie, I guess) and belt it with shiny tape. Or do a skirt/tank combo?
is anybody else doing campnanowrimo? It's like nano but... now.
@all I knew I could count on you guys! Thank you, I'm actually looking forward to this shit now.
@reebs14 Toga an old bedsheet! Or do what I wanted to do this halloween, and use a yard waste bag to be a Paperbag Princess. (Plus then you get to wear a crown!)
@Jade WHY DID MY POST SHOW UP HERE??
I give up on the internet today
@Faintly Macabre I do have a pretty legit tiara (as in nicely done rhinestones with some weight to it, not diamonds and whatnot)that's been languishing on a bookshelf since high school. I think it needs to make an appearance.
@Jade Hahahaha, I wondered about that :)
i'm going to a conference in copenhagen in a couple of weeks, and i'll be staying two extra days after the conference is over because that's how plane tickets worked out. i've been to the city very briefly before, and the conference has some built-in sightseeing time, so i'll have probably already hit all the major tourist highlights. i am looking for suggestions on the following topics: 1) cheap accommodations for my two extra nights, 2) your favorite copenhagen things 3) cool easy day trips? (ie not requiring driving) 4) beautiful/quiet/interesting places where i could hunker down with a laptop and get some work done.
happy weekend everyone!
@plonk Someone here used to live there, I think! I can't remember who.
@plonk I'm not Danish, but I just spent a couple weeks there. I would definitely pop for the train/ferry deal that takes you around the Swedish/Danish coast. It's a great day trip, and you can stop at the Louisiana art museum on your way, and/or the Kronborg castle in Helsinore if you're into, you know, Shakespeare and junk.
@Girl Named Jack oooo, that sounds fun. where do i get this deal? is it something you get at the train station or is it through a company of some sort?
@plonk I got the ticket at the main tourist info center, by Tivoli-ish? I think it was called "Around the Sound" or something similar. You might be able to get it at the train stations as well, but I would google around first just in case.
@Girl Named Jack I second the Louisiana art museum -- it's absolutely gorgeous, both for the art and the beautiful, beautiful setting out by the sea (with a sculpture garden).
Also, Paradis is a wonderful, wonderful ice cream shop with branches around the city (including in Nørrebro). If you are feeling like going local, you should order your ice cream "gammeldags," which means "old-fashioned," and they will put whipped cream, jam, and a flødebolle cookie on top of it. Also you should go swimming in the sea and the canals -- you'll see everybody else doing it where it's allowed, and it's clean and really fun!
All my other tips are probably out of date. But, have fun!
A rock hit my windshield on the way to work making a nice little chip and crack. Friday, not starting out great!
Later in the month I will get to attend the enigmatic Magic Castle in Hollywood. I will be needing fine garments - do I go traditional or stylish?
@Too Much Internet : Stylish! Fierce shoes FTW.
@Too Much Internet
Super-traditional, frac-tails, top hat, spats—style from your scarlet scarf.
@Too Much Internet Half a cement block (there was construction next to my lane) hit my brand new car, I only had it for about 3 weeks, while on the 405, I cried so much that day. The crack was so deep that I need to have the windshield replaced which is about $500 so I just had the crack filled for $60. It's really depressing to see my new car with a crack.
@atipofthehat High hats and arrow collars! White spats and lots of dollars!
@atipofthehat: TWO monocles, because I'm fancy like that.
I've decided that, due to financial restraints and stuff, I've got to suck it up and just deal with one more year with my roommate who (to summarize past posts) is a very nice person but just not someone that I click with and wants to move out and bring in subletters in five months which I am NOT okay with...
unless someone has a not-too-expensive room in NYC opening up in October...
SO I've decided to spend the next couple weeks while she is out of town making our apartment AS HOMELIKE AS POSSIBLE. Which involves, first, cleaning, but I come to you for suggestions: What makes an apartment feel like a home? Right now it just feels like a place I go. I never use our living room. I'm always in our bedroom.
Note: Limited/nonexistent budget. Crafts! Small details I may not have thought of! WHATEVER! Tell me all your homemaking tips!
actually I just found out she wants to leave like, two months into the second year of the lease, so seriously, cheap rooms? anyone want to move to Astoria next year!?
@terrific Not sure if this is your thing, but I have always found that cooking and (especially) baking tends to bond one to one's place.
Buy a few plants or plant some seeds.
Maybe try moving the furniture around to make the living room more inviting. Adjust curtains/blinds to let more light in.
@terrific Do you have any friends who would want to sublet? Maybe put an ad on Craigslist or something early? At least you could interview and have someone in you want?
(Also, yay Astoria!)
@terrific I do. alas, in Toronto. Things that make places seem homey: clean, clean clean. Then, throw crap away that is ugly, that you don't like, that came from anyone who inspires FEELINGS. It is better to have an empty room than to have a room with crap. Then, art. I am sure you have knick knacks you could put in a shelf - or buy them at a thrift store or dumpster dive. But bed bugs. So, freeze them first. Or just books. You can arrange books cool ways. Cultivate a sense of peace. Use your living room to meditate. It can be scary at first, but totes worth it. Unless your roommate is actually crazy and resents you being in common space. In which case, a new roommate might work better.
@robyn.andrews books! I would suggest the same thing - if you've got some cool hardcovers or a few in coordinating colours, stack them together! play around with making cute little "displays". buy some candles! start a collection of cute plates from the thrift store (all blue & white patterns?) or pretty pottery or brass animals or something!
Put Stuff on a Wall!
-Vinyl stickers (just saw a bunch of gorgeous ones on aliexpress)
-Those paper flowers there was a DY tutorial on
-Whatever the crap you want. Wall decor doesn't take up precious floorspace and personalizes the thing you like to stare at.
ETA I've always wanted to wallpaper a bathroom with (humanely harvested) pages from various books. You could put up a roll of butcher paper and stick stuff to it, so you can take it down/with you after moving.
@terrific things that made my new apartment feel like home:
cozy pillows and a super soft blanket for the couch - give it a couple of popcorn-eating movie sessions, and it'll start to feel more like yours. a nap or two couldn't hurt.
Tablecloths! Not just for tables anymore! I actually do live in Astoria and have NO place for storage. Like, there's room for my gigantic plastic bins fulla crap, but not anywhere that they are even remotely hidden from the eye. So I stacked em up and draped over a cute linen tablecloth of my great-grandmother's that was too holey to use on a table. INSTANT MARTHA STEWART.
@terrific My roommate (who I adore) bedazzles everything in sight. It's kind of amazing. Also - PHOTOS! Do it camp-style and make all your frames out of glue and popsicle sticks (with glitter spraypaint?) and cheap jewels... and hang them EVERYWHERE.
@the little c
I live in Astoria too! We should do another Minnie Pinnie soon, since I missed the Olympics one due to being asleep :$
@Alli525 YES! I missed it too because I was camping. Someone should post about it in the NYC FB group. (I always feel overeager proposing meet-ups, like everyone else thinks, "I've met tooooo many Pinners already this month, I can't possibly be arsed to meet another." Buuuut I'm sure that's just me.)
@terrific Pets and artwork.
@terrific WELL if it weren't going to be so hot I would propose another Beer Garden meetup this weekend... we could always do another bar though. Any thoughts?
@Alli525 Hmm, it's only supposed to be 85 on Saturday, that might not be bad beer garden weather? Otherwise, there's Mosaic in the Ditmars area which is nice but kinda pricy, or lots of awesome places down south including the best (but possibly most crowded) bar ever, Sweet Afton.
@terrific Nooooo. Sweet Afton on the weekend is what my nightmares are made of.
Hell Gate Social has a lovely backyard (*cough*pimpingoutmyfavoritebar*cough*), though it is sort of in the middle of nowhere.
I do love Mosaic, and it's always cool... daydrinking on Saturday? Maybe like 4 or 5pm before it gets all night-time crowded?
@Alli525 I am very supportive of this idea!
@terrific Ok ok let's do this! Want to put it on the NYC FB group? FB is blocked at my office :(
@karenb THIS THIS THIS
So, is this happening? Or should we postpone to later? If I don't hear anything, I am not dragging my butt out of my air-conditioned apartment... I have fallen down a Dexter wormhole :)
@Alli525 Yes! Come! I posted to the Facebook event but forgot to update here. I'll be at Mosaic at 5.
@terrific @Alli525 I may or may not be a little tipsy from a Sparrow Tavern brunch, but I should be there!
@terrific Yay! I will be there... I have longish brown hair and will probably be reading Game of Thrones :)
Comments from this week that I typed out and then deleted on second thought:
07/30/12 - 9:58AM - The Billfold - Wait, what's that thing you do with a tampon?
07/30/12 - 10:07AM - The Awl - Beautiful person succeeds in business.
07/31/12 - 12:20PM - The Billfold - Good thing you have morals because she was so ready for you!
08/01/12 - 10:07AM - THe Hairpin - It was balls, right? It smelled like balls?
@Reginal T. Squirge Not sure about the others but your 'Pin comment sounds like something that always needs to be said.
@Reginal T. Squirge
I had that exact same thought about the Awl article, heh. One tries to be diplomatic.
@Reginal T. Squirge Impressed that you save/remember your typed out and then deleted comments. I look at mine, shake my head, delete them and move on quickly before I'm totally submerged in embarrassment.
I realized I was writing them often enough that I might as well start saving them for later use. I also figured they were kind of funny out of context. I might make it a regular thing.
And these are only the ones I actually went through the trouble of typing. The ones that remained in my head were far more embarrassing.
My pub trivia team got invited to the city semi-finals... and I was invited to audition for Jeopardy! next month!!!!! I am so excited. I need to study, study, study. I remember a few of you have done that before, so share any advice you have.
I got my August Julep box, just a week or two after getting my intro box. And thanks to two friends signing up, I got my box for free and got a free add-on nail polish. They sent a tote bag since it's their first anniversary too. So far I've gotten 5 gorgeous full-size polishes, 1 tote, 1 nail polish remover, 1 pedi scrub, and 1 set of toe separators for a grand total of 1 cent, thanks to the original coupon code I used. I hope this isn't spammy since I mentioned it a few weeks ago, but I'll post a link in case anyone wants to check them out or sign up: Julep!
I think the code MAVENINTRO gets you the 1 cent price for the first month, but if it doesn't work, just use Google and there's probably another code floating around the nets. My friend who's done it for a while says there's usually a code to get it for under $2 every month if you look for it; otherwise it's $20, which seems like a great price if you want what they're sending. Enjoy!
Obligatory "I <3 Gabby Douglas" that I forgot to mention! She is the coolest x10! When the Olympics end, I will have my life back, but I don't waaaaant them to ennnnnnd.
@whateverlolawants Congratulations on Jeopardy! Let us know when you're going on so we can root for you!
@whateverlolawants that is so exciting! yay trivia.
I've always heard that some of the most recurring topics are opera, Shakespeare and the Bible.
@Reginal T. Squirge I need to brush up my Shakespeare! I'll start quoting it now!
And studying opera... at least my years of Bible-reading as a kid/teen will come in handy for once.
@whateverlolawants The women you will wow!
@whateverlolawants the test at the audition is (in my opinion, and having chatted with others at the audition, it seems to be a consensus) easier than the online test. Study your weak areas (for me it's geography), but if you were good enough to get through the online test, you should be fine with a minimum of study. Just be pleasant and personable - they want people who are going to be fun contestants! Good luck and congrats! They told us that about 100,000 people take the test and about 2500 get to audition so you are already in an exclusive group.
@whateverlolawants Brush! Up! Your Shakespeare!
@whateverlolawants The hardest part of Jeopardy! is def the buzzer. At the audition they will give you a clicky pen to practice with.
And as Anna Jayne said - if you're already auditioning, it's mostly about seeing if you're a fun person to watch. You know how sometimes you get contestants who know all the answers but seem to have no spark? What they want is spark. Which, since you're a 'pinner, we already know you have ;)
@whateverlolawants I was on Jeopardy! (And won, if I do say so myself.)
@Anna Jayne@twitter is totally right - the questions are not the hard part of the in person audition. It's more of a dog and pony show.
Prep for it like you're going to meet your boyfriend's parents who like gardening and Garrison Keiller. Have clean hair and just a touch of make-up, wearing something like a cardigan and a-line skirt.
Come up with an answer about how you'll spend the winnings - travel to somewhere interesting, buying a house, or paying for a child's education are all approved answers.
When they ask people to stand up and answer questions like they will on the set, they're looking for two things: 1) Ask for the next question! It's not like watching at home on tv; if you're right, you get to pick the next question, so make it snappy. 2) Ask in the right way - category first, dollar value second. That's for the sake of the camera crew, and it's important to them to you get it right.
Be wholesome, charming, and mildly distinctive and you will kick ass.
@whateverlolawants Jeopardy!!! Wow, congratulations on making it to the audition round! I was a semifinalist in the Teen Tournament a few years back, which has such ridiculously easy questions that I probably can't be much help on the "what to study" front, but here's what I can contribute:
1. PRACTICE YOUR BUZZER SKILLS. Watch old Jeopardy episodes, or play the computer game, and practice "buzzing in" with a clicky pen. Practice your reaction times for hand movements in general (video games are one possibility). You want to seem as capable as possible at playing the game when you're up there for the mock round.
2. Stand out. Have a story that makes you distinctive (but obviously, in a positive way, not an "I eat small children" way) and shows some of your personality.
3. Don't be nervous! (Easier said than done, haha.) Usually I am a ball of nerves before any kind of competition or evaluation, but I was so completely not expecting to progress beyond the audition that I was able to relax and be chill, which ended up being a definite plus. You want to show that you won't be intimidated and freeze up if you wind up on the stage, under the lights, having your provided anecdote twisted for maximum comedic effect by Alex-Frickin-Trebek.
Best of luck at the audition! Rock that ish :)
@lalaura Yaaaay, a fellow Jeopardite(?)! Were you on the regular "adult" version? I'd love to compare experiences at some point. Jeopardy was one of the coolest, weirdest things I've ever done.
@whateverlolawants I feel like there might be a lot of Hairpinners who were on Jeopardy!, based on this thread alone.
I'm going to work on mastering that buzzer. It seems to trip up a lot of people. Thanks for all the tips! I still can't figure out what anecdote to use. I have some unique stories, but I think they require more explanation than Jeopardy! allows, or are too PG-13 or R. I hadn't given thought much to moving on to the next question quickly, so thanks for that tip and all the others. :)
do you ever make small, effective changes to your life and then feel proud and hopeful for the future out of all proportion to what these changes could possibly accomplish? i just figured out a better way to store my cutting boards (hanging them on the wall); from here on out my life is going to be TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!!
@plonk I feel like this every single time I catch up on laundry. NEW LIFE! NEW ME!
@plonk YES. Every time I make a change, no matter how small, it radiates into gleaming hopefulness! But it's like Olympic scoring: if I keep making (good) changes, I get happier and happier, but if I stop, it allll goes away.
@plonk Say more? I've been thinking of hanging my cutting boards but don't want to make holes in my wall.
But, to your question: Yes.
@plonk YES! Especially if it has to do with the kitchen, AND especially if it is something I can see every day. Look at those cutting boards on the wall! Everything is looking up!
@Jennifer Culp YES. And then I power trip on my success. "Husband! I filled the dishwasher without internal whining! Now you must become as virtuous as me!"
It is obnoxious and I know it.
@plonk Roll with it! Organizing things totally makes me feel that way too.
@TheLetterL lol, it's even less impressive than it sounds. my kitchen is tiny and awkward, my cutting boards are the big floppy kind made of thin plastic and i never knew what to do with them, then one day i noticed a random tiny nail hammered into one of the walls, thought "huh," and used an office hole punch to punch holes in the corners of the cutting boards. that is all!
@VolcanoMouse Oh, kindred spirit. I exude SO MUCH self-righteousness after successfully employing a new Ask a Clean Person trick. "BEHOLD, I HAVE CLEANED THE MICROWAVE WITH WHITE VINEGAR! GAZE UPON IT AND MARVEL!"
ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR
@plonk YES! A few months ago I looked at the mess of jewelry on my dresser that I've always wanted to clean off and then half an hour later looked at the bulletin board I had in the other room and didn't know where to hang and BOOM! Idea! The dresser is still a mess but less of a mess and now the bedroom has a wall hanging of pretty sparkly things.
@Xanthophyllippa That's how I stored my jewelry in college! Great, isn't it? I also like this idea.
@jen325 Oh, brilliant! I just unhinged my closet door, turned it backwards against the wall, and put pins in it. I'm clever.
@terrific You ARE clever! Pins are quick and easy and involve things you already have lying around. That's the best solution to any problem. Well...a lot of problems, anyway.
I cleaned the inside of my fridge and I've felt like hot shit for a few days now!
@VolcanoMouse I know this is extremely late but I thought you should know that I read your comment in LaBarbara's voice (from futurama), and it was great.
I am still over analyzing things said to me by a particular male friend. Stop it, brain!
In other news, I'm looking forward to doing the Staten Island Shuffle after work today.
@meetapossum I mean, "You should come watch a few episodes [of a British TV show] this weekend" sounds promising, right? Or is this just a friend date? Womp womp.
@meetapossum It sounds... ambiguous? Depends on the show too, I think.
@Alli525 Yes, super ambiguous! I guess I would definitely do that with any of my dude friends, and in fact, my male roommate and I watch British TV shows together all the time, so maybe I should stop overthinking.
@meetapossum Well we can discuss tomorrow night if you are still up for Pinning :)
Is anybody else WEIRDLY HATEFUL of that book ad thing on here for 'size 12 and ready to rock'?
I know it's cause I read this http://www.katehart.net/2012/05/uncovering-ya-covers-2011.html and am touchy about covers that feature girls with no heads...
Everything about it seems to bother me. WHY?
Seriously!! Male-gazin' it up there :^(
@josiahg I am weirdly hateful of the sexist-looking ParaNorman poster. I know I am going to see it, I just wish I had a little more doubt about whether it was going to fail the Bechdel test.
@Jade The title alone conflicts me. Is it the implication that it needs to be stated that a size 12 is ready to rock? Her size and her ability to rock are somehow related?
@Jade Thank you for sharing! I will now be reading Akata Witch. :)
@Jade Yes. The implication that being a size 12, you know, an ENTIRE SIZE 12, is normally an impediment to "rocking" or whatever, just pisses my right the hell off.
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
@Snicker-snack! Unless you are rocking because you're falling over because you're AN ENTIRE SIZE 12 and oh my god how do you even stand up like that step away from the feed bag full of Cheetos NOW.
@Snicker-snack! yes! exactly to everything everybody is saying.
AND WHY are you wearing a disco dress when you're solving MURDERS of young girls? UGH.
besides. There are lots of books with ladies who aren't a size 1 that don't advertise this in the title! Like The Parasol Protectorate series!
@TheLetterL It's from a series--the first is called "Size 12 is Not Fat," 2nd is "Size 14 is Not Fat Either" (though Wikipedia says the publisher chose that 2nd title). I don't know anything about the books' content, though.
@Faintly Macabre Hmmmmmmmmmmm
@Faintly Macabre I like the books -- they are fluffy but cute. She's a former pop star who is now living a regular life. Aside from the murders and stuff. But she works in Student Living at NYU.
@Snicker-snack! Well, actually, the protagonist is a former pop star who was dropped by her label for gaining weight. The books actually aren't fat-phobic. They're not perfect, but they're not fat-phobic.
@Faintly Macabre The books are all great, actually! The cover sucks, but I think it's a total and constant struggle about book covers -- whether to put a face on the cover so that you picture the main character as that face, or cut the head off so that you have the cut off head. But Meg Cabot is awesome, and the books are lots of of fun. Her weight is not really the center of the books, but there are parts that are about how, as others have said, she used to be a skinny pop star and now is not either thing, and there's some stuff about how her self image has changed etc.
@thebestjasmine @Quinn A@twitter This is all very good to know - I haven't read any of Cabot's books, so I'm pleased that it turns out my impression wasn't accurate.
@Xanthophyllippa Cabot talks about feminism a lot in her blog (mostly directed at teen girls), and this is one of the most pointed posts. And while being a feminist and being fatphobic aren't mutually exclusive, I have myself seen nothing of the latter in her books, and that's something that I'm sensitive to.
@Jade Haha, I was planning to announce my new upcoming book, "Size 12 and Ready to Nap" on the thread today, but then I left work early and didn't get around to it. The cover picture will be a little diffferent than that other one though.
Gabby Douglas is like sunshine and unicorns in small ass-kicking ninja form. YES.
Today: Last day before a week of vacation. Going to watch friends get married, eat BBQ, tour Maine, then wander around Boston for a few days and get into trouble. It's going to be GREAT. Also, for some reason I'm in the mood to listen to Shawn Colvin sing "Sunny Came Home", so that's playing in the background.
@area@twitter WEDDING! I bet you'll have fun! I'm also jealous of your Maine/Boston wanderings.
@area@twitter AGH ALSO I've been pursuing this great job for a while and had pretty much given up hope of getting it; then Monday afternoon I got a call from HR saying "can you come in for interviews this week". So Tuesday and Thursday mornings I had meetings where I think I came off very well, and with any luck I will be able to move on up here and do more of the stuff I'm really interested in! Love my Thursday morning lady; she was a tough interviewer, but at the end she said she hoped I got the job, but if I didn't, she was definitely going to keep me in mind for future similar positions, because she was impressed by my skills and attitude. For reference, four years ago my boss at the time told me he didn't like the quality of my work, hadn't liked it for years, and I needed to find a new job, and also I would probably never get into graduate school. HEAR THAT, YOU SELF-CENTERED JACKASS? SUCK ON THAT FOR A WHILE, BUDDY.
@area@twitter "Sunny Came Home" is perfect for today! I might have to dig that one out of the CD collection when I get home...
@Llllauren Thank you! Wedding is going to be a blast- it's an old friend of mine from college. I bought him and his fiance a Hello Kitty sandwich maker they put on their registry.
@area@twitter You have now put me in the mood for "Sunny Came Home."
@SarahP Then my work here is done.
@SarahP Me too!
Also... I wanted to comment on one of the articles this week, but I couldn't quite bring myself to do so. Just know that for all of those brave comments, there are people in silent agreement who can't quite say anything right now (but who are still brave.)
@whateverlolawants All the hugs, brave one. :)
@whateverlolawants I stand in solidarity with you, sistrah. I wrote responses to comments in my head and couldn't get the fingers to type them.
I don't suppose the very small handful of Winnipeg pinners would like to have a very mini pinup? #bashful
@kickupdust I've been thinking about this too! It feels weird because what if we actually all know each other vaguely and awkwardly in a very Winnipeg way, but I think we should do it! What did you have in mind? Maybe drinks in the Village or that awesome looking fairy tales and monsters exhibit at the WAG, or ice cream at the BDI?
@Cat named Virtute hahaha I know EXACTLY what you mean! this morning I was like, "but what if someone is like, 'I know you! You were really snarky to me one time at McNally Robinson!'??" (And if I was I'm really sorry!)
small town-ness of Winnipeg aside, I would tend to lean toward drinks! somewhere with a patio! the WAG also sounds awesome though! (alas, am a vegan so ice cream is a no for me.)
@kickupdust Haha, SO Winnipeg. Let's do drinks then! Ugh, why is the overlap so small for good Winnipeg bars and Winnipeg bars with good patios? Do you have any favourites? Maybe Carlos and Murphy's?
@Cat named Virtute I KNOW WHY AREN'T THERE MORE PATIOS??? ahh it's so weird talking to someone on the internet who knows about the same bars I do! Carlos&Murphy's sounds good! although my very favourite is Cousins. also feel free to email me if that is easier! it's kickupdust at gmail dot com.
@kickupdust I forgot about Cousins! I looove Cousins. I will email you this weekend--pester me if I forget, because I do sometimes.
@Cat named Virtute awesome! I'm excited/nervous!
In a few days I'm visiting my boyfriend who lives on the opposite side of the state! Gonna be exciting!
In other news, I am really, really craving beer. I just got back from 5 months in Germany and I got so used to having access to delicious beer that being back in the States and being underage suckssssss. (I'm 20). I also don't turn 21 until two months before I graduate from college... Sigh.
My baby sister has been cracking me up lately. She's two and precocious, and she has some catchphrases that are GEMS. "That's fantastic!" "I know what I'm doing!" "HEY, you're supposed to come downstairs and play with me now!" The other day when I was irritating her she pushed me away and said exasperatedly, "Inky, go back upstairs!"
Here's a photo.
Oh, and here's a link to my reading list, if you're interested.
@Llllauren She looks like a delightful kid.
@whateverlolawants She is a goofy little thing. :)
@Llllauren holy heck, she looks like an IMP! In the best, most completely fun way. Also, that hair! She is clearly already well on her way to being a full-size rockstar.
@Llllauren Ahhh, she is ADORABLE - look at that smile! And her hair is freakin' gorgeous - the color! The curls!
@Llllauren I'm just going to echo the hair comments. THOSE CURLS! Curly headed kids are so adorable.
Have fun with your BF! I am also craving a beer (I found an ahhhhmazing pecan ale), but it's a big headache trigger for me, so I can't have it either :( Empathy!
@Llllauren Aw, the post-Germany beer letdown is a huge bummer. I'm sure it's even worse to be underage and suddenly unable to even go out :( Sending you a case of *insert your favorite German beer here* in spirit, and hoping the time until you turn 21 passes swiftly! Hopefully seeing your boyfriend will help lift your spirits - have a great time visiting him!
P.S. your sister's adorable and a half.
@Llllauren Oh man, as a person who lives in Alberta where legal age is 18, this would be horrible! I was legally able to drink when I was in high school (yay February birthday!), so not being able to drink until more than half way through my degree seems SO weird!
I am exceedingly glad that comments aren't allowed on that "Size 12 and Ready to Rock!" post.
@Brunhilde As a Size 12 who's Ready to Rock, you'd think this book would really be of strong interest to me. And yet...
@Brunhilde Is that woman on the cover even a size 12?
@Brunhilde It's a shame, really, because I feel like I have a lot of excess sarcasm that could be shed by commenting on the infinite ridiculousness of that advertisement.
@Summer Somewhere This is what I thought. And a part of me feels weird like maybe that's a judgy or bodysnarky comment. But it really does look like the model they used is far smaller than a size 12 which if true (and not just my body image or vision being super screwy) strikes me that whoever designed the cover is saying "well, I guess we can have books that portray self-confidence at body sizes above the Hollywood norm but god forbid we actually have to look at women with larger bodies." or, you know, women's faces.
I've actually heard good things about Meg Cabot, and earlier books in that series, so I'm going to pin this on the marketing team until further notice.
@arrr starr I just know that models for plus sized clothing are sometimes not in possession of plus sized bodies, and my body image is skewed enough without my size being inaccurately represented. You know?!
@Summer Somewhere yeah, I think I've read that plus size models are usually size 8-12 whereas the clothing lines they are modeling usually start at size 14. Which is a little bit of wtf. I don't have any problem with people being whatever size they are - it's just this false advertising type stuff strikes me as if it does.
@arrr starr Yeah my friend was a plus size model for a while, and I think she was a size 10. Apparently she would go to try outs and there would be women who actually wore plus sized clothes, but they would never get the job.
@Summer Somewhere I actually believe that is close to a size 12...if you are 5'9" like me.
@arrr starr YES, not to be the Meg Cabot defender up in here, but she's great and I like her fun and fluffy books a lot, and she's very pro feminist anti-body snarking. She's noted before about how her book marketing and covers are not her decision at all (I think it was the first book in this series that had a red dress on the cover, and she noted in her blog that there isn't a red dress anywhere in the book).
@thebestjasmine I second that, oh fellow Meg Cabot fan! She really is one of my favorite authors of fun books, because her books are both feminist and body positive. And fun, of course. It sucks that the pickers of covers and whatnot can't get their shit together enough to reflect this.
@Does Axl have a jack? Yeah, I actually wished that comments had been available for the book ad, because I knew that people here would hate the cover/title, and I think that a lot of Pinners would totally enjoy Meg Cabot's books!
@arrr starr She could be. I'm a 12 and I'm not thaaaat much huger than the model. (oh goddammit if I am I don't want to know.) Some of us have proportionally bigger waists to hips, if that makes any sense.
@WaityKatie No, that makes sense. Like I said, my vision is just as skewed as most people's on this (and it's possible I'm going off of short-people dimensions or something), but it struck me like they were using a pretty typical looking book cover model for an author who I've heard is pretty atypical (in a very good way).
Also, if you can rock a sequin dress like that, I am super envious.
@arrr starr I can make no assertions regarding my sequin-dress-rocking abilities. I think the cover model is definitely less emaciated that your typical (?) chick-lit cover model, although most of those are drawings, right? Oh, I don't know. I haven't read any of the books, maybe they're good, I just feel kinda icky about the making a huge deal about SIZE 12, like it's some freakishly gigantic size, when in reality it's average? (I probably have been in NYC too long which is why I am so sensitive about this stuff.)
@arrr starr I read somewhere the other day that in some quarters, size 6 is now considered plus-size, but put it out of my head until now so I didn't have the urge to find those quarters and set them all on fire.
Does anyone have thoughts on the ethics of flirting with other people when you're married/in a serious relationship? I'm not talking about the intention of being unfaithful, which is of course its own issue; I just mean flirting for fun, to enjoy the attention, that kind of thing?
I am married (and in my 20s, no kids, if that makes a difference), and when I casually mentioned that I had a crush on one of my workmates to my friends, I was met with Silent Stares of Judgment, and it kind of surprised me. Because look, I love being married and adore my husband, but that doesn't mean I stop noticing other people. And sometimes when I'm out at a bar with a friend (which, as a homebody, isn't even very often), I want to flirt and be flirted with... maybe even have a drink bought for me... because it's fun. My husband is aware of this. He doesn't necessarily encourage it, but he understands and trusts me.
(And if we're being totally forthcoming, a very related issue is my need to be desired/validated, which I have become aware of and need to work on. But that's probably for a different discussion.)
@KatieBarTheDoor I like casually flirting sometimes, because it's fun. But I don't do it excessively and I don't try to do anything that would make anyone think I'm available, beyond what could hopefully be interpreted as friendly flirting.
@KatieBarTheDoor I think flirting is one thing, crush is another - it seems more leading to an open relationship, and, let's be honest, even people like me who are intellectually fully on board, would be shocked if a classmate told me they were into non-monogamy. Most important: communicate with your husband. F*** the haters.
@KatieBarTheDoor I think it depends on the comfort level of you and your partner (as long as you are not worried about things going too far and aren't really leading anyone on). It's not really other people's business otherwise. Though if you are misleading people who buy you drinks / leading people to believe that it could be more than flirting, then I could see the issue. But flirting in and of itself often stops there. My husband is kind of a mega flirt but he is also very upfront that he is unavailable and I tend to be pretty forward about stuff... it works for us and I don't think anyone has ever construed it as being anything more than being friendly and having fun.
@KatieBarTheDoor @terrific Agreed. Nothing is wrong with casual flirting as long as everyone understands that it's casual flirting. I feel so strongly about that, that even though my ex husband cheated on me with a mutual friend it hasn't changed my attitude about it.
@KatieBarTheDoor: I think flirting is essential to happiness and workplace crushes supremely helpful for getting through the day. I think I like flirting so much because it's not entirely appearance-based. Sure, you need to find the person attractive, and they you, but it takes wit and humor and observation to flirt. It's a fun mental exercise with a little emotional boost.
@KatieBarTheDoor If I want to boil it down to one sentence: I think it's okay if you don't lead anyone on or do it to hurt your partner. Flirting is fun. It's also good to recognize your need to be desired and validated and contemplate the ways that might be related, but flirting is still okay in my book as long as you stay within boundaries... and those boundaries will differ for everyone, I imagine.
That said, I don't like it when an attached guy does more than just playful banter and smiles. Because beyond that, I never know what their intentions are and if they're trying to cheat or trying to boost their egos using me. And if I know their girlfriend/wife, that becomes even more complicated. Also, I have to actually enjoy his flirting, or I find some way to put the kibosh on it.
I don't really flirt intentionally now that I have a boyfriend, but I am a talkative, friendly person and some people see me as flirty. I was also single from ages 21-24, so it was a habit. I have slipped into it a few times since I got a boyfriend, but when a guy gave me his number as a result and I told him I had a boyfriend, I felt really bad. He was a cool guy and I felt like a jackass, both to him and to my boyfriend, who wasn't even there and never knew about it. After that I guess it stopped being fun for me. That's my loosely-held opinion; I'm interested in hearing others'.
@KatieBarTheDoor This sort of feels like a conversation for you and your husband about comfort levels, but from one internet stranger to another, flirting can be fun and harmless ego-boosting.
Especially if you channel all that hey i'm so fine, look at me, getting all the attention, being the sexiest into particularly exciting sex with the husband. Coming home ravenous and sharing all that good energy with your partner is still monogamous and still fun, I think!
@arrr starr Exactly my thoughts. It really only matters how the people in the relationship view it. My husband has in the past commented on how crushes are normal in relationships, and is totally okay with the idea. (Which is good, because I get friendcrushes that make me talk about people nonstop, and he's the one I can tell about the new girl at work, etc.)
Yeah, the leading people on thing can be a little tricky. I've inadvertently done it before (when I was single, just being naturally flirtatious and making guys think I was interested when I wasn't), and I hope I don't do it now. I mean, I don't immediately bring my husband up in conversation (because it would be obnoxious), but I never hide the fact that I'm married, and I have my rings...
@PatatasBravas Yes, this! A friend of mine (who is poly, incidentally) once said a phrase I've become rather fond of: It doesn't matter where you get your appetite from, so long as you eat at home.
@KatieBarTheDoor I think you have to talk it through with your partner, and go from there. I haven't flirted for 9.5 years because my partner absolutely can't bear it. That, and some other things have frankly gotten just too restrictive and I split up with him yesterday (see downthread). A renewed desire to flirt was what gave me the heads-up that I needed to seriously examine what I need. FWIW, both my parents are outrageous flirts, but have a great relationship, so I totally believe it's possible.
@KatieBarTheDoor I think it's totally dependent on your hubby and relationship. The one standard I myself apply and want applied is: if you have to lie about it (and omission of information IS a lie), then it is inappropriate, and crosses the line.
**This is the Gospel according to a past Hairpin article**
@SarahDances That's a good way to put it. I'll have to remember that one.
@danbyfanny Aw, man. Please let me add to the collection of your Internet hugs. I'm sorry if it's too soon to say, but I hope that, when you're ready, you enjoy the flirting freedom. And you're right about talking it out. I do keep him updated, and if anything, I think he wishes I'd say less! (i.e., "You don't really have to say that the guy was cute.") I try to be very open so I don't have lies/secrets/trickiness.
ETA: That came across as a little bit "hey I flaunt my flirting action in my huaband's face all the time," which is not true. When I typed that I was thinking of a recent conversation about a trip to New Orleans, and we were talking about this sweet guy we met, and I said something about his looks. That's about it.
@KatieBarTheDoor I can't comment on the spouse side of things here but are the friends you go out with comfortable with you fun-flirting? Because I have a friend who does this (to the extent that she'll eat off other guys' plates if we're all at dinner) and it makes me reeeeeally uncomfortable to be around her when she's doing it. So I guess what I'm actually asking is, if you're out with friends and no husband, do they understand that you're just having fun? If not, it might be time to talk with them a little -- if only so you don't end up the friend in the next Ask A(n Undiscovered Spider) column about whether to voice suspicions about friends having affairs.
@Xanthophyllippa This is a good point! I know a few friends would not be cool with it (the Judgment Stare givers), so I keep it in check with them. Another one was a little uncomfortable until we had a conversation about it, so I'm glad she let me know. Another is fine with it because she's just like me (and she just canceled our plans for the evening, boo). So anyway, you're right, and I will continue to keep this in mind.
@everyone, thank you for the thoughts! I appreciate the opinions and helpful perspective, and the fact that you didn't make me feel like a bad person like my friends did (though I hope that was not their intention).
@KatieBarTheDoor You're welcome! Everyone's got a different perspective on that sort of thing. They aren't wrong, they're just different.
@SarahP "It really only matters how the people in the relationship view it" - are you talking about flirting or crushes? Because with flirting I feel pretty strongly that it really also matters how the not-in-the-relationship-person-who-is-being-flirted-with sees it, too. Especially when the flirting isn't just like a one-off, but maybe goes on for a long time and in various situations. I mean, hypothetically (ugh) (but so glad we talked about it).
@stonefruit Agreed. I completely am 100% opposed to long-term flirting, especially if it could be seen as leading-on flirting.
@KatieBarTheDoor My only problem with it is making sure the other person is on the same page. (This is why I love flirting with gay men) I think there's nothing wrong with flirting, or even having a crush, the trick is not moving past that point and also not leading anyone on. The other concern is making sure that it is always office-appropriate (not just to you, but to anyone who might overhear it).
Flirting makes you feel good and is fun; crushes are (usually) innocent and fun. I think a lot of people expect that the minute you're in a relationship you should have blinders. That's not how it works. Whether or not I'm interested in dating someone else doesn't mean that I stop noticing that someone else is attractive/helpful/funny/smart/awesome.
@stonefruit YES, agreed, I was going to chime in with this exact thing. Because it's great and all if you and your husband both think it's cool to flirt with other people and that gets you all hot to come home for one another, but that sucks for the other people that you are maybe leading on.
Chiming in to add that even single people often flirt just for fun, with no intention of it leading to anything else, so it should be okay when you're in a relationship too. Flirting is a game, and you can play as long as everyone involved knows the rules and agrees to them.
@stonefruit Oh, yeah, I was referring to crushes. Thanks for pointing that out.
I am moving back into my house after a year abroad, and holy crap, it is much harder to get organized with a toddler running around than it was with a charming lump of a baby who sat in a bouncer and burbled. Paging Mary Poppins!
Got this email from my boyfriend yesterday:
I really had a good time last night. I know I know, but just thought I should say it now...
It's those times that we have that are special that helps us though the times that are rough.
Thanks for being you
He's got a ridiculous amount of baggage but he's wonderful enough to make me stick around anyway. :)
Also, we're REALLY hoping to be able to go canoeing this weekend but we've got no way to transport it at the moment. Wish me luck!
@MoonBat I know, right? He's a keeper. :)
We had an argument at lunchtime today, which is why I went back to read that email. We work near each other, and he meets me here for lunch every day. The argument was because he was upset that my coworker took lunch at the same time as I did all week, which meant we were unable to be alone and talk while we eat the way we usually do. He's got a stressful job and lunch is important to him. From this afternoon's email:
...I'm used to unwinding with you at lunch, talking, planing dreaming, having a third party there is upsetting. Stupid huh?...It's time for you to see the ugly side, I'm not perfect like you said last night, I'm greedy. I like having our time at lunch, it's what saves me some days. It's what saves me most days. It's good for me. I'm going to fight for it...
Of course, I told him that no side of him is ugly and that his feelings are valid and important. But still...what a sweet thing to have an argument about.
@jen325 Yeah, I like the way that he handled that subject, coming across as standing up for what he wants because it's your time that he values, and not sounding controlling about it. Sounds like a guy who's worth helping to unpack his baggage.
@MoonBat Well...he does suspect that the guy's doing it on purpose because he's taken lunch at the same time as us five days in a row, and on two of those days we didn't eat at our usual time. I can understand why he thinks that, because it's quite a coincidence, but I do think that's all it is.
But you're right, he's not being controlling, he just values our time together. He really is worth helping to unpack his baggage.
@jen325 This isn't a "sweet" thing to have an argument about. Red flags raised over here on the internet, which likely means nothing, but just so you also get another perspective.
@Sister Administrator I understand why you see this as a red flag, but I'm really not giving you the whole story here when it comes to the conversation/argument (which really wasn't much of an argument) and our relationship in general. If you knew the whole story I don't think you'd see it as a red flag.
I do appreciate that you shared your perspective though. I am the kind of person who's willing to see things from other points of view, it's just that your point of view isn't well-informed, which of course isn't your fault. You probably think I'm just dismissing your perspective because I don't want to hear it but I assure you I'm not. Thanks for your advice. :)
Last Saturday night I went dancing at a bar that caters to drunk early 20-somethings and (I suspect) teenagers with fake IDs. I am 33. On my way out, a 20-something dude pointed at me and yelled, "MILF!"
Simlutaneously the most humiliating/hilarious thing that happened to me that night.
@themegnapkin Oh God no
@themegnapkin: Sorry. I don't know why some people do that. I find that boys/girls in their beginning 20's/exit from school don't have a frame of reference on age, because they've been penned up with people only months away from their own birthdate for so long.
@themegnapkin From one Meg to another, being mistakenly called something that is fine but not accurate this week:
I was riding my bike to the store, all geared up with a backpack for groceries, waiting for a light to change. This eastern-European man walking a pit bull walks in front of me in the crosswalk, looks straight at me, looks at his dog, and says, "Lessssbian."
@themegnapkin Ugh, I'm sorry. Being pointed at and called names is the weirdest thing, especially when you don't expect it. I was walking past a bus stop recently, and this kind-looking older gentleman was sitting there. As I approached, I looked over and smiled at him. He pointed his finger at me, frowned, and shouted, "SHORT!" I mean, I AM, but still...
@MailerMattDaemon That almost sounds like there's another thing going on - like some sort of aphasia or other auditory/verbal processing disorder.
Lesbian Pit Bull Man clearly also has something going on, but I find I'm less eager to rationalize him than I am Kind-Looking Older Bus Stop Gentleman.
ETA: BUS STOP, not Bust Stop. That's also different.
@Xanthophyllippa Good point! Indeed, it was more startling than anything else...
@MailerMattDaemon I just wanted to say that my cousin, who is either 4'8" or 4'10", gets that ish ALL. THE. TIME. Like, she'll be in a bar, and someone will walk right up to her and go, "Hey, you're short!"
OH REALLY THAT IS TOTALLY NEW INFORMATION.
(I suspect that is less about aphasia/verbal processing disabilities and more about alcohol/rudeness, but I could definitely be wrong there.)
@stonefruit I get that all the time too - my response is usually, "Hey, you're RUDE."
And you're right that it's probably the drinky talking. That KLOBSG (ew, bad acronym) frowned when he said is what made me think it might have been, say, a verbal issue from a stroke, or something.
@remargaret There is a preacher who stands on the corner by my work and yells at everyone about how we will all be going to hell, particularly anyone LGBTQ. I want to be sure that people (especially all the teenagers and kids walking by!) know that there's a dissenting viewpoint (but I don't really want to get into a yelling match), so every time I pass by I walk reeeeally close to him reeeeally slowly and stare at him with disgust. Almost every time, he interrupts his lecture to tell me I'm going to hell for being a lesbian. And then I give a big dismissive laugh.
But Pinners, is there a better response? I mean, I really do not want to get into a yelling match with a street preacher, but I also... he isn't very nice, and it's my street corner too.
@bot On my college campus there were a bunch of these obnoxious preachers. Sometime folks would stand nearby with confrontational signs (caveat: big public space, fairly well policed) that said things like, "God does love you." (made me eyeroll, but also smile cause they were trying to help) and my favorite, which read "High-fives for sinners [which was then crossed out and replaced with winners]."
That second sign was awesome because passersby got to voice their own disgust at the judgy preaching with an awesome hand smacking. So it audibly undercut whatever hate speech was happening and showed people that there was a lot of up-to-that-point anonymous disapproval of the message. Yeah, remembering that made me happy again. :)
@bot Get some nice chalk, and then draw a rainbow flag and I <3 LGBT on the pavement when the preacher is not around and claim your street corner.
@bot: Those people drive me up a wall. I don't think there's any effective counter measure, as they've pretty much gone off the reservation and have moved beyond human reasoning.
I just want them to reflect for just a second somehow; like, "Remember, one day you will be before God, and on that day He is going to ask you about how you are treating all of His creations. Do you think God means for you to hate people, or to love people?" Something tells me there is literally no words that can get through to them at that point. They have sacrificed a chunk of their humanity to construct a reality they can live in.
If I were musically inclined, I'd play violin loudly around those preachers to drown out their yells. As it is, I just blast them with an airhorn for however long I can spare.
@remargaret I was on the Greyhound the other day, and the very-hopped-up-on-prescription-drugs-and-diet-pills guy sitting next to me noticed my engagement ring and went, "Oh, you're engaged? What's her name?" and then snickered to himself.
Later he told me I had "virgin" written across my forehead. I did not stomp his balls.
@slutberry Why on earth didn't you?!
@Xanthophyllippa He had just finished telling me about how his ex-wife's boyfriend had murdered his two year old son two years ago. :(
@slutberry D: D: D: Interactions like this are why I wear earplugs and a chilly expression on all modes of transportation.
@Xanthophyllippa @bot I am thinking about making tracts for the pro-life protestors I occasionally see around the city (in Canada, fwiw). It would be quiet and intending-to-educate (because this is more in keeping with my personality than running away scared, my current tactic). Maybe you could make tracts, but just for the preacher?
I have been waiting since TUESDAY to get a call back from a third interview I went on. I was promised they would call one way or the other and that they wanted someone to start next week but it's Friday afternoon and I haven't heard anything **WHINE WHINE WHINE WORRY WORRY WORRY**
@OhShesArtsy I know you have probably heard this before, but I wouldn't give up yet. I recently heard from / was offered a job 2 whole weeks after I was supposed to hear. People are busy and sometimes it takes a while. I feel your pain though. Waiting SUCKS.
@billie_crusoe I keep reminding myself that, intially, the timeline for this job would have had the new person starting on Monday (so, before the last round of interviews) so they are definitely running behind on the ordeal.
You're right, waiting SUCKS. I just want an answer now.
@OhShesArtsy Email them! Or call them! Just be like, hey, wanted to touch base, please let me know if you need anything else from me. And they'll usually tell you unless they're being mega-sketchy.
Related: a good friend of mine went on an interview, was told that she would hear back by the end of the week, didn't hear from them for six weeks and was like WHAT'S THE DEAL? And then they explained that the head HR person at the company (who had interviewed her) had gone into SURPRISE! early labor because she was SURPRISE! pregnant (said friend hadn't even noticed). Soooo... you never know.
@OhShesArtsy Ugh that sucks. Waiting is the hardest. At least they could call you back and let you know where you are in the process!
I was having a conversation several days ago with a friend about the women's gymnastics team and he was all "[Girlfriend] and I are not even a little bit ok with our team.They are frighteningly robotic. The smallest one with the huge smile might be ok, except she only seems to smile on cue and never of her own volition," and I was totally at a loss because seriously, what?! I can't even.
in case it wasn't clear, that was directed towards your friends. it bums me out when people rag on athletes for shit like that. plus i disagree with their assessment. those girls are serious competitors in a sport not known for informality, but afterwards they giggle like the teenagers they are.
it's possible i may have gotten a little too into the olympics this time...
@SarahDances Soo has your friend seen an athlete at a competition before? They often look serious and intense!
@Faintly Macabre It's like they need to focus on their elite sports competition or something! Craaaazy!
Can I talk to you about The best time I read The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie with a charming English Language learner after having forgotten it contained all the sex? Because that was...interesting. I wrote a review about it but I can't go into the detail I'd like.
@feartie I read the book only once, years ago. I am much more familiar with the movie, but I might have enough of a basic grasp if you want to share...?
@feartie I don't know about reading it with an English language learner, but I just re-read it, and I love that book. Plus the movie is great--Maggie Smith!!
@TheLetterL "Allow me, in conclusion, to congratulate you warmly upon your sexual intercourse, as well as your singing." If that rings any bells? Yikes. Here's my review
@feartie Oh yes. I would have have been snorting along with you and your student.
My own favorite line, relating to the Girl Guides but which I have recycled for so many other conversations, is "For those that like that sort of thing, that is the sort of thing they like."
@TheLetterL Yes! So useful. Also: "whoever has opened the window has opened it too far. Six inches is sufficient: more is vulgar". *quietly dying while student doesn't get it*
REGINA! NEXT WEDNESDAY! There aren't many things that I wouldn't trade for the entire planet and everything in it because that is a lot of things but I wouldn't miss this show for the world.
The 'pin is a safe space, right? Self-indulgent whine time!
I put a ton of work into a writing project this week. I was actually satisfied with the end result, which might be a first for me: I usually believe that the stuff I produce is stupid and pointless and bad.
The first feedback I get on this bit of writing is that it's opaque and inaccessible. My tiny, self-centered soul is a wee bit crushed. I feel like an idiot for putting my self-worth so much in the opinion of others. It's easier to brush feedback like that off when you half-ass things like I usually do, but I actually tried on this thing.
And now I'm all, "maybe I should quit this small-business-working-on-my-talents thing and just get a job in the mall. Only I've been self-employed long enough that I probably couldn't even do that."
But I haven't eaten well today and my blood sugar is wonky, so maybe my case of crazy emotions is just part of that.
@VolcanoMouse If it helps, I found this comment lucid and accessible. That person is probably just dumb.
@VolcanoMouse Read rejections of famous writers. Works like a charm for me every time. Also, think about all the writers you love who some people might say are opaque and inaccessible (Virginia Woolf, for instance) and then think about how you were able to access them.
And then ponder if some kernel of that feedback is good and can make you strong and more hulk-like in your ability to express stuff.
But don't give up! And have a fruit leather!
@adorable-eggplant I think I need to write down "don't give up! And have a fruit leather!" and carry it in my wallet. That almost made me cry. *hugs*
Just go eat some yogurt and suck it up, self. Gah.
@VolcanoMouse I did my MFA in creative writing so I spent a *lot* of time on both sides of that situation. I've heard writing compared to dating in many helpful ways that make you feel less like killing yourself if you, like me, have spent most of your adult life doing both. For instance: if EVERYONE likes you[r writing], you're probably shallow and trite. What you want is for a few awesome people to be like "OMG VOLCANOMOUSE COMPLETES ME!!" Still working on that myself :)
@VolcanoMouse Also, carry a fruit leather in your wallet. I've got wonky blood sugar issues (which give me strong feelings) so I've carried one with me, ever since an incident involving a vending machine, not enough change, and an impulse to tip said vending machine over...
And being sad/frustrated/discouraged is part of any creative process (in my experience). I just watched a video about Gabby Douglas and how she had a moment of wanting to come home and then pushing through, and it did make me cry. Maybe I need a yogurt, too.
@quickdrawkiddo Aw, thanks. Oddly, it was a bit of technical writing, not fiction, which was part of what lead to the shitty feelings. Like, "oh, I can't even write a tutorial for this relatively simple physical process. Yay." I am glad to hear that it gets better, though!
@adorable-eggplant I try to keep trail mix and glucose tabs with me, but they don't help much if I am just too stupid to remember about lunch. Bah.
Yogurt for everyone! I am digging this Cabot Greek stuff.
@VolcanoMouse So I can't find the original quotation, but the late great historian J.H. Hexter had a brilliant perspective on rejection letters that might be relevant here. I'm going to have to paraphrase, but it was something like this:
A letter of rejection is neither a final judgment nor a divine degree, but rather a judgment made by one or two fallible men and may be revised by other men, equally fallible. So in this matter let young historians take heart, and may all historians remain young at heart.
I had that hanging over my desk throughout most of grad school. If I find it I'll post the original.
Also, I teach technical writing. If you want an outside opinion and maybe a suggestion or two on technique/style, I'm this name at gmail.
@Xanthophyllippa You are a sweetheart. Thank you. Hopefully next week I'll have a more even keel and the ability to look at the piece again... chances are it's salvageable and I'm just too close to it for now.
Thank you for the offer! I might not be brave enough to take you up on it, but it is very kind. :)
Writing makes me feel vulnerable, definitely. Hugs!
This Chik-fil-a bullshit is killing me. I'm taking time off Facebook because everyone's posting articles, and their "friends" are commenting on them saying terrible things, and, ugh. So of course I'm starting the convo here? I don't know. (Note: All my FB friends are real-life friends and are lovely. It's the people THEY know that are problematic.)
I live in one of those states where our lovely elected representatives (and other people) are buying CFA publicly because fuck them damn gays. And I'm kind of taking it personally, I guess. It just feels shitty to realize how many people all around you hate you. I literally want these people to die, which is... not a comfortable feeling. I hate being angry.
On the other hand, my very redneck uncle said he wants to make a bumper sticker that says "Gay the pray away," and I am really surprised he's not a homophobe.
@billie_crusoe the thumbs up is to your uncle. Not the sitch.
Oh my god, make that bumper sticker!
@billie_crusoe My boss keeps walking through the office preaching about how [my company] needs to turn out and support CFA. It just underscores that I am an agnostic working at a professing Christian Company (c) and the only liberal in the office. I just keep leaving when she brings it up bc, ugh, this is work and I don't bring my politics here so why should she??!!
@OhShesArtsy Not one of my friends has posted anything supporting Chick-Fil-A. This just proves that my last weeding out, during the 2008 election, was effective.
@OhShesArtsy you should use his own religion against him. Seriously, judgmental Christians disgust me because it is the opposite of what the religion is supposed to be about (says this confused religious-Christian person)
@billie_crusoe I wish he would make it! He is also listens to radio preachers, so I was REALLY surprised. (I am not in the closet with anyone, but there are certain family members I haven't officially come out to because it's easier to avoid / I don't want to know if they're judgey.)
@OhShesArtsy I'm sorry! It's so great when people assume everyone feels the same way they do and so feel free to spout politics constantly. (/sarcasm) I have a dog in this fight (god, that is a terrible phrase, isn't it?), and I don't even want to talk about it at work / anywhere but with friends.
I also really like the people crying "Oppression! First amendment!" Please. Try feeling physically unsafe when you're with your partner, having weird bathroom encounters because people can't read your gender / are jerks, and being disowned, and then tell me about how me not shopping at CFA is oppression.
@robyn.andrews Well put. Exactly my thoughts.
Exactly? Oppresion? What oppression? You mean not having the freedom to oppress?
And 'round and 'round it goes...
@billie_crusoe The "First Amendment!!!1111!!!" thing is killing me. It's your right to say whatever you want, but it's also my right to say whatever I want ABOUT your saying that, and treat your business accordingly! Free speech does not work only in one direction!
@billie_crusoe I guess I don't technically have a dog in this fight as a non-Christian, straight cis-woman BUT I kind of feel that I have a dog in the fight as a decent human being who loves other human beings and doesn't really care what they do amongst other consenting adult human beings???
I don't mind talking politics/religion/whatevs but work is just an inappropriate place for it. That, and my boss as a person in a position of authority shouldn't really be pressing the issue here. UGH.
@The Lady of Shalott "....but it's also my right to say whatever I want ABOUT your saying that, and treat your business accordingly"
That is exactly what capitalism is, kwim?
@billie_crusoe I keep trying to articulate my thoughts about Chick-fil-A supporters, and I am really, REALLY having trouble coming out with anything coherent in the face some of the completely twisted-ass 'reverse-oppression' 'liberals being mean to Dan Cathy' what-the-hell-ever-bizarro-world logic I've seen on FB. I tried a bit last night, and it was emotionally exhausting. I don't know how you don't run screaming for the hills over this shit (although the hills of our great state are probably full of more oppressed straight white people, so maybe you should pass on that). Anyway, I love you and think a sanity break is a very wise move.
@billie_crusoe Aaaaah, and sorry to be all creepy 'I know who you are!' up in a Friday thread, but when I saw your post here I wanted to say something because I saw your FB status last night and didn't comment on it because, you know, you wouldn't see it.
I know billie_crusoe, everybody, and she is awesome! (Duh.)
@OhShesArtsy Right!! What about my freedom to NOT BUY YOUR STUPID BIGOT CHICKEN.
@billie_crusoe At first, my view was that if people quietly want to keep eating there, it's understandable, though I wouldn't eat there myself. But then a gay friend from high school posted a loong status about how big of a deal this is when the discrimination is targeted at you, and how he hoped that people who cared about him would not give him their money. That kind of settled it for me.
In the meanwhile, though, I had a southern friend post about how annoying it is that her food is being interrupted by silly politics. Today, a school acquaintance (who's always yammering about legalizing pot and Ron Paul) wrote a self-righteous status about how everyone supports much worse corporations all the time so eating Chick-fil-a isn't a big deal. Which, like many libertarian points, is intellectually debatable but morally deficient.
My favorite thing about the chick-fil-a Facebook posts are the people that compare this to oreo's support. I have been seeing a lot of posts that basically seem to be saying how excited the person is to have their own junk food that supports their ideology. I personally feel kind of squicky about any Americans in general supporting things that don't directly relate to their health through food choices. But yeah fuck chick-fil-a.
Seriously. I have a pretty limited (curated?) friends list, but damn some of their friends are so full of hatred and ignorance. I just can't even. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
@billie_crusoe I really hate how "sharing" photos containing a political message made by other people has become a thing. If people are going to subject me to their political opinions over facebook, they should at least have to take the time to articulate them themselves.
The entire debacle is really disturbing in that it sort of shifts a critically important wedge issue into a question of shopping. All of a sudden people are not expressing their values through voting or writing to representatives or even letters to the editor, but by whether they eat at Chik-Fil-A or KFC. This whole thing is farcical, frankly, on both sides. Obviously I'm not a fan of Sarah Palin eatin' and shootin' her way through every drivethrough but whatever, we always knew she was a bigoted idiot. But why are gay marriage supporters getting down in the dirt with her? This is stupid theatrical bullshit which proves nothing and distracts from everything. It demeans and debases political discussion further than I thought was possible and absolutely nobody involved with it will come out the other side with dignity intact.
@Diana I feel like the whole "I'm not eating at Chik-Fil-A" thing as a way of expressing values comes perilously close to slacktivism. As you say, they can't be bothered to vote or contact the folks who make the decisions/policies, but they'll make a big show of proclaiming that they'll now buy their french fries - sorry, freedom fries - somewhere else. Not that I don't appreciate knowing that folks support gay marriage, but seriously - show it in a way that matters. Because by current FB standards, I have serious moral clout for having NEVER eaten at a Chik-Fil-A -- the fact that I live in the Upper Midwest and we don't have any around here is of course irrelevant.
@Jennifer Culp Awww. You're the best / why did we not actually hang out until 5 years after college?
@all "I have been seeing a lot of posts that basically seem to be saying how excited the person is to have their own junk food that supports their ideology." IT'S SO FUCKING AMERICAN. ALSO, I am (still) reading A People's History, and it just all seems so transparent. Of course the politicians like to blow this crap up: distract us from real (class) issues by creating a sense of moral superiority on both sides, and you don't even need to deal with unemployment / income distribution / etc. (Not that gay rights aren't a real issue, obvs, but gay rights as expressed through the medium of fast food is NOT a real issue.)
I just want to live in a big happy bubble away from conflict and discrimination (a yurt in Vermont).
@billie_crusoe Someone posted this on HFC, and I have kept the tab open to watch every time I get ragey. Buttermilk is such an adorable jackass.
@Xanthophyllippa I mostly agree with you. I think the more important thing here has been other companies and cities expressing their disapproval. Granted, there haven't been that many of them, but when other large businesses have the confidence in customer views to take a stand on this issue, it's a sign that things are improving. That confidence is probably mostly based on existing knowledge of changing attitudes towards gay marriage/homosexuality, though.
Basically, I think that going "I WON'T EAT CHIk-FIL-A! LOOK AT ME!" is kind of pointless, but going "YAY CHIK-FIL-A!!!" makes you an asshole.
I think it's a fascinating reflection of how deeply consumerism has reached into our culture. I'm not sure that people are lazy, so much as that consumerism is such a part of identity that they have a hard time thinking of how to respond to social issues other than by changing consumption patterns. I find it all very interesting.
@billie_crusoe Have you seen this version? It's epic.
@wee_ramekin OH MY GOD, that is even better. I could seriously just watch Buttermilk be a jerk all day.
@billie_crusoe When you get mad about Chick-fil-A, you should put that on, pretend you are Buttermilk, and bask in the glow of Guile's Theme and the black goat's groans.
@Audley YES THIS. I have a friend ("friend") from grad school who is straight, and frequently posts anti-homophobia macros and has a FUCK H8 shirt and whatever, yet NEVER says anything constructive when someone in the physical room is being a bigot, who will duck out of political or queer-related conversations the second things get a little uncomfortable, and who never brings up queer issues in topical classroom discussions (we did our MLISs together). It makes me fucking FURIOUS. I get that some people are private and shy about their political beliefs, and that's fine, but you do NOT get to be a straight person playing the queer ally unless you're going to do the hard work of allyship. UGH.
Ugh. Stomach gas.
I've been super burpy and bloated for like 3 days now. Any suggestions? I've always burped a lot but this is weird. If I relax my stomach it legit looks like I'm pregnant in profile.
Yesterday I drank some baking soda in water. Please don't tell me to do that again.
Also been eating Tums like they were candy to no avail. I now see the irony in thinking they were a treat as a child.
@NeverOddOrEven That happened to me last week. Gas for days. I just tried to eat bland food for a few days, and then I got my (late and unexpected) period so... maybe it's a weird PMS side effect? Hope it goes away for you soon!
@NeverOddOrEven Worst feeling EVER. I sympathize!
@NeverOddOrEven have you eaten anything weird? or excess fiber, or whatever? my lactose intolerance randomly and spontaneously developed, and those were more or less my symptoms, minus the burping. do they feel acidic or just like there's a lot going on down there?
My husband has been bringing me home salads for lunch everyday, but that's been a couple weeks now and this came on somewhat suddenly. Other than that, diet isn't drastically different.
I got the flu over the weekend and barely ate for 2 days, so maybe that threw something out of whack? Or I just randomly deveopled a gluten or lactose intolerance, which actually wouldn't be so bad, I think. I need a good reason to get my food-shit together anyway.
@NeverOddOrEven yeah, I would eat very bland foods for a few days and see if things calm down. bananas, rice, applesauce, toast is the classic "bland diet" and is doable for a few days. no butter on the toast, obviously, but jam or honey is okay. also, take a daily probiotic for a while and see if that helps.
@NeverOddOrEven I'd chalk it up to the influx of food after not eating - I get like that during the summer, because I get sick if I eat very much heat like this and then when I finally need to eat an actual meal, I spend the next day feeling all gassy.
If the baking soda thing didn't work, maybe try Mentos and Coke? That'll get all the gas out of you right quick.
@NeverOddOrEven I find that my stomach acts up the most when I eat a lot of salad and don't eat as much food, so that could be it in your case. Basically whenever my fiber to calorie ratio gets too high, I feel lousy. Usually eating more white starches, more fat, and some red wine helps clear it up. Which might not help so much with getting your food shit in order - either way I would advise against salad for lunch every day if you're having bloating and gas issues. That's the killer for me every time.
I keep GasX with me at all times!!!
After a bunch of serious talks...I'm pretty sure I'm moving to be with my boyfriend in a month or so. I'm nervous, but also really excited and looking forward to it!
But also nervous. And excited! And nervous! And happy!
@The Lady of Shalott Yay! A month! That's close! You're almost there! And that means you're almost done with the terrible job, yes?
@billie_crusoe Hopefully! I mean, I'm sure I'll be swapping it out for a different job with its own downsides, but this job makes me feel so QUESTIONABLE about people sometimes!
This week a woman came in, aged 22, who was upset with us because her fiance wanted his 13-year-old daughter to be a flower girl in their wedding. She was upset with US because we didn't have any flower-girl dresses in stock that would fit a 13-year-old and were also big floofy cupcake dresses. And cost under $50. And would be available in time for her wedding on the 17th of this month. (It's not a magic store, people!)
@The Lady of Shalott I don't think I could handle the wedding industry. Weddings seem to bring out the worst in people. This sounds like a particularly terrible job, so maybe it won't be hard for the next one to be not-terrible? And either way, you'll be with the dude, not your parents!
I went rafting last weekend in WV and it was AWESOME. Although I somehow irritated my eye to all hell right before the excursion and I could not keep my left eye open for more than a couple seconds at a time, so I sort of looked like a pirate throughout the whole thing.
Which maybe made it awesomer?
Anyway, I fully recommend any and all rafting/camping adventures, especially the ones in BFE WV where it looks like you've stumbled onto the set of Deliverance.
@Emby You weren't by chance on the New River were you? Because it's AWESOME and superfun!
@The Lady of Shalott Nope! I was in Parsons, WV, which is in the middle of NOWHERE. But I've heard great things about New River, too! I wanna go!
@Emby Oh, were you in Canaan Valley? That's not so far out of the way. I liked the camping better in Monongahela, further south a bit, but I've only ever been rafting on the New River.
Canoeing, on the other hand, for everywhere!
@The Lady of Shalott Yes, in Canaan Valley! Or at least I think so. The website said it's in the Monongahela range, but I don't know exactly where it is. Lots of back roads to get there, though.
this week has just been NUTS, you guys. As in, going to visit my crazy/stressful family in minnesota this weekend is actually going to feel like a vacation.
also t-minus 2 weeks till I leave my job, can't wait can't wait can't waittttt
@realtalk how are all the men??
@quickdrawkiddo HAHAHA i ended up having five dates last weekend, 4 of which were fun at the time, but then:
• one got super needy
• one said "I'm not sure how I feel about you sleeping with other people, but I also don't want to be monogamous" (LOLWUT, ugh boys are so dumb, don't take me on two dates if you KNOW what I'm offering (which is friends-who-have-sex) is not what you want, and then also don't slut-shame me for sleeping around)
• and one doesn't have time to hang again till next week.
• but on the bright side, the fourth one is my weekend booty call/hookup who hopefully I'm seeing/naked hot-tubbing/sleeping with tonight.
also a college friend visited last night and we unexpectedly but delightfully hooked up, so. BOYS!!
how did your dates go???!
@quickdrawkiddo also I'm thinking about slowly letting my summer-of-casual-sex dissolve slowly into dating myself more. it's been really fun and frivolous and reaffirming to my self-worth but I knowwww if I keep doing this I'm going to use it as a crutch instead of really working on shaping myself and my life into who I want to be. so. giant realizations!
@realtalk Wooo dating yourself is awesome! I had a summer o'casual sex last year and it was super fun and self-perpetuating -- i.e. the more I dated, the more dudes wanted to date me? But dating yourself is even better :)
@realtalk Holy cow, how did you have time for all that? I salute you :) Date #1 with the dude from out of town was fun, he was charmingly full of himself in that LA-specific way, but he was also sweet so that made up for it. We banged, it was pretty good, he wanted to hang out again the next day.
Date #2 with the dude what lives here was totally awesome and I really liked him, but we didn't kiss or anything? Then we made plans to hang out yesterday and he cancelled at the last minute, citing a work thing he "forgot" about. He also cancelled what was supposed to be our first date at the last second, so I'm starting to think he's a flake. I'll give him another chance though, he's pretty rad (and *gorgeous*).
I also got snuggly with my longtime best friend/occasional lover who I've known for eight years, after we went to see Batman and got shitfaced afterward :) I'll probably see him this weekend so... who knows??
@realtalk Oh my gosh, I want a summer-of-casual-sex!! Is it too late to start? It's already August! Will I have to wait until next summer? Oh nooooo how do I do this??
(I am also seriously impressed with your time/dude management skills)
@quickdrawkiddo yayayayay. old friends/occasional lovers are nice for sure. and yeah, flakes are the worst, tonight's date/booty-call just backed out on me. but whateverrrrr i'm going to go to yoga and drink a bottle of wine with a friend and watch the olympics, so.
@marzipan NEVER TOO LATE TO START!! Yeah, my time management is ... hilarious. last sunday I may have dropped my booty call off at the BART station on my way to meet another guy for coffee? and all that may have been 15 min post-coital?? I'm the classiest lady, you guys.
@realtalk no shame in that game. I wish I could give you more thumbs up.
@Marzipan I just started my summer of casual sex like 2 weeks ago, it's never to late. Do ittttt.
@realtalk You are a freaking inspiration for me. No shit.
@dabbyfanny I'm not entirely sure I SHOULD be an inspiration, except that I am doing what I want and fuck the haters. I find that my recent dumping/heartbreak has made me just not give any fucks at all about these guys I'm seeing? Which makes me feel a little bit like a psychopath, except that I am very clear with my gentlemen callers that feelings are not part of the deal, so they know what they're getting into. BUT THANKS I yearn to inspire generations of women to sleep with whoever they want whenever they want and tell everyone who doesn't approve to go fuck themselves, so.
I need to pick a new audiobook (I have an audible subscription). I'm taking a break from Game of Thrones. I like both fiction and non-fiction. Not big on sci-fi or fantasy but I'm open (but that would be less of a break from Game of Thrones). Anybody read anything that blew them away lately? Anybody listen to an audiobook that blew them away lately?
@chevyvan this is of general interest.
@chevyvan Let's see.... (these are all ones I've read- not big into audiobooks)
Pulphead, John Jeremiah Sullivan
Once Upon a River, Campbell
Blueprints for Building Better Girls (the first story in particular), Schappell
reread the Magicians (Grossman) last weekend- still so good! Even for people who don't like sci-fi/fantasy (I hated Harry Potter, and I loved it) (there, I said it)
@chevyvan I always recommend the Bloody Jack series, by L.A. Myer. But also, I liked listening to Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Slayer. It's not a great book (or, it's okay, but could have been so much better), but it works well as an audio version, the narrator's good.
@chevyvan STRANGELY: The non-fiction "emperor of all maladies". It's a biography of cancer and a STRANGELY GOOD audiobook.
Also good are Jasper FForde's Nursery Crimes (A gritty crime thriller in which Jack Sprat is trying to figure out who killed Humpty Dumpty), and his Shades of Grey. (It's not 50 shades, which came out after, and it's really good. Takes place in a world where people can only see 1 colour. Depending on what you see is where you fit on society's caste)
ALSO. ALLLLLL the Terry Pratchett. A large golden disc shaped world on the back of 4 elephants who are standing on the back of a giant turtle. BRILLIANT. Start with Small Gods.
Tina Fey's BossyPants was fun.
@Lit Drunkard Ahh...Wild was great. The audiobook narrator was just okay, but I still really enjoyed it. I actually like non-fiction adventure stuff (Into thin air, etc). I would definitely 2nd your rec. I will be sure to check out your other suggestions!
@chevyvan The Magicians does kind of look like Harry Potter for adults and I am intrigued! I've heard about it but never looked into it. Bloody Jack looks great too...still going through the list. Thanks!!
@chevyvan - I have mixed feelings about this book, but the audiobook of Special Topics in Calamity Physics is read by Emily Janice Card, and I have an audio-crush on her. And the parts at the beginning with the main character and her dad are completely awesome! Also, it's a must for fans of The Secret History (which I also had mixed feelings about), fwiw.
@runner in the garden Oh, I enjoyed STiCP! I'd recommend it as well, although I feel like it was hyped up so much for me that I was slightly disappointed.
@chevyvan I was really surprised how much I enjoyed "Wild". I started it, and thought, "eh, this is ok", and then suddenly, all I wanted to do was read the book.
@chevyvan The only book Alan Rickman has ever narrated is Return of the Native. Honestly, I'm not even sure what it's about, because I just get too blissed out on his voice...
I ran into a former gentleman caller this week and I wanted to die. He makes my stomach do flips and my hands get all sweaty and I sound like a moron. He turns me to mush. And he told me he's moving. TWO BLOCKS AWAY FROM ME. WHY?!? I will probably run into him more now, and that is not good for my heart.
I need a new gentleman caller. Stat.
Any reason you can't just go back to that one?
@Kirs I KNOW! Yesterday I went to a concert with some guy from high school I ran into on the street just hoping to get laid. No dice. BUT WHERE ARE THE MEN WHO ARE NOT JUICEBOXES? I can't sleep with people I don't like and who treat me badly. BUT SOMETIMES I WANT TO GO BACK TO MY NO SELF ESTEEM WAYS. (This is my experience/ let's keep the hairpin judgment free)
@Kirs I need one too- I had the realization last week that I wanted to start dating again. But it seems that just having that epiphany does not mean the menfolk come a-calling automatically
@NeverOddOrEven I wish. He broke it off with me, for not really convincing reasons, but not much I can do about it. Totally blindsided. He broke my heart. **sad face**
I was standing there talking to him (and he was so hot- all sweaty and gorgeous riding his bike) and all that was running through my head was "ask him if he's seeing someone... ask him if he's seeing someone" but I knew better than to actually do that. Because I do not want to know the answer.
@Lit Drunkard Oh man, if only it DID work that way...
@robyn.andrews Standards! They are always gettin' in the way! ;-)
I have this thing about sleeping with dumb guys. Even if it's just a couple of times. I couldn't bring myself to do it, even if he was super hot. See: Ryan Lochte.
@Kirs Man, have I got the swimmer for you! Obviously smart and articulate and has plenty of medals. I am obsessed right now.
@chevyvan He is delicious!
@Kirs OMG. so amazing.
We're having our housewarming party this weekend and I am so excited! Also thankful that after this we can calm down on making the house look nice. (I obviously want it to look nice, but we've been in "must complete all projects we can before the party!" mode the last few weeks and I'm ready to take it easy.)
@SarahP Will your ghost be there?
@meetapossum She's making the cookies!
Today is my company's first ever "jeans Friday". Apparently before I was hired here it was super fancy like guys HAD TO wear ties and women HAD TO wear panty hose every day (which I'm glad is repealed cuz that sounds ridiculous). Anyway, everyone's in complete awe the management allowed it and they're acting like children at Christmas. Good start to a weekend.
@The Hyperbolic Julia Set I always feel as if I get more done on Fridays, because a. jeans! and b. no one is in the office (not lured in by jeans!) so I can listen to music. loudly
@Lit Drunkard Seriously. My team just finished our project we'd been stressing out about all week in like half an hour. Jeans, comfort and the promise of a weekend are MAGICAL! Much like Gabby.
Has anyone else had a surprisingly craptastic work week? I am getting blame for something that isn't my fault and about which I can't defend myself because OFFICE POLITICS, and earlier this week I found some whiskey* in the office kitchen cabinet and it's all I can do not to start drinking it every time I get another passive-aggressive email.
*NB I do not normally drink whiskey in this fashion*
@nowwhat :((( Hugs! Gin! Whiskey! I have NO patience for office politics. I'm sorry you're getting blamed :(
@nowwhat : ME TOO. Everyone in my office needed Quaaludes, for serious.
@nowwhat Work is the worst. I got snared into working a twelve-and-a-half-hour open-to-close shift this week on my sixth day of work in a row. Work is BLOWING lately.
@nowwhat my week was not that craptastic, but I have had those--sorry this was one of yours. TGIF! Low bar already set for next week...
@nowwhat Ugh. Yeah, my work has been exactly like that this week, and it will continue next week. Super busy, lots to do, plus office politics/people may be getting fired. Very stressful. Good luck--I hope it all settles down.
@The Lady of Shalott THAT IS TERRIBLE, NOOOO.
This is our sales-tax-free weekend in my state, so our store is CRAZY. I work 10-7 tomorrow and then go in at 6 on Sunday, and I hate customers.
@dtowngirl and all y'all, it is so comforting to read your replies -- seriously made me tear up a bit -- this is a new job and I have been struggling to find my way through it. It's nice to know I'm not alone, though I wish us all better work luck next week!
@nowwhat We're ramping back up for the new school year, and also dealing with the headaches of having a different department folded into ours with absolutely no planning or preparation. Despite the staff's pleas for any of that. My supervisor has agreed with my suggestion that we use one of the small workrooms for a staff bar.
I drew an awesome picture of Sam Elliott last night. It's so good I just want to stare at it all the time. As soon as the fixative dries (it's charcoal), it's going on the wall.
Also, I have a ton of awesomeness going on this weekend but I'm mildly resentful because all I want to do is play this violent Russian video game on my Ipad and read the Barbara Vine book that Nicole recommended in RGB about Fake Murder. I have so many problems! :)
Reupholstering chairs! Have only stabbed myself with a flat-head screwdriver once. Success! (I have two and a half chairs to go, pray for me.)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Watch this space for an up-to-the-minute stab report!
@Exene No more stabbings, but broke the staple gun. Am debating just buying a new one because this one's so big and heavy I can barely use it anyway.*
*Obligatory THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher: I reupholstered a lounge chair and ottoman recently. Even with the electric staple gun I felt like I'd broken my hand for a couple of weeks afterward. And I'm still finding rogue staples around the house. But! I have an awesome dark red leather chair and ottoman now, so yay.
Yay for DIY, seriously.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I love staple guns. I wish I had more cause to use them. Tell about the fabric with which you are reupholstering!
@Exene Your Daily Stab!
@Anna Jayne@twitter It's just some lovely fabric-y fabric, not too heavy, not leather (respect @laurel, RESPECT), with some kind of mod-looking starburst-y geometric pattern on it.
Here's a picture of what I'm doing, before and after. Who doesn't love before and afters? (I'm replacing that nasty old vinyl, because ew, gross, and also it sticks to my legs.)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher: Mad respect, those chairs are gorgeous and I love the new fabric.
*three times. I should probably stop removing staples with a screwdriver.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher: Needlenose pliers. And a tetanus shot?
@laurel I don't think I could get the needlenose pliers under the staples to pry them out. The tetanus shot is not a bad idea. (One chair left to go!
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Goddammit. )
And I'm pretty much done! If I want to take the cushions back off two of the chairs to put more cloth over the bottom to hide the edges, I can, but I just don't care too much at this point. I'm done!
Just split up with my sweetie of 9.5 years. Feeling raw, and as if I just broke my own heart. But also sort of hopeful?
@dabbyfanny Hugs, friend. But if you're feeling hopeful, taking that as a sign that it was the right decision? But still, always hard. Good thoughts your way.
@dabbyfanny Many many internet hugs.
@dabbyfanny : ♥
Give yourself time--it's okay to be raw for a while.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher See, this is why I love the pin. Thank you guys, SO MUCH. It's just damn sad, because I am losing so much. He really is a good one. But when I read a pinner talk about gentlemen callers and my heart gives a tiny bounce, I know I'm doing the right thing. Aaand Dear Sugar is helping, as usual.
@dabbyfanny You dear stranger; I really wish the best for you. No advice, just good wishes. xo
@dabbyfanny I'm coming up on the year anniversary of such a break-up. Yeah, that hope is your friend. It's a lot of change all at once and things will be weird and a little scary sometimes, but also kind of amazing: where there was once comfort and familiarity, there is now brand-newness and infinite possibility. And Dear Sugar, HOLY CRAP, yes, will make you feel better about everything.
@dabbyfanny I just had the four-year anniversary of a similar breakup and "broke my own heart" takes me right back to how I felt in 2008. I am wishing you lots of hugs and bottles of wine.
@dabbyfanny Hugs, so many hugs. And yes, feeling hopeful is good.
And don't feel GUILTY for being hopeful, either!
@Queen of Pickles Thanks for the reminder re: the guilt!
@dabbyfanny All of the hugs. Breakups are crazy difficult things, and emotions are also crazy difficult things. Whatever and however you're feeling, it is okay. I know myself and many friends have struggled with anger, guilt, or confusion because we feel like we're not reacting "the right way." There is no "right way" to react to something like this...just your way. I wish you all the best.
@dabbyfanny Hugs to you. It will get better, but it's okay to let things suck really bad for a while. Drink a bottle of wine, eat some popcorn, watch an entire season of Veronica Mars, whatever you need to do.
@dabbyfanny I had to break my own heart earlier this summer. I still feel kind of terrible about it, so I don't have that much advice other than infinite internet hugs/handshakes. Take the weekend for yourself to drink wine and watch Netflix (I chose Parks and Rec over Breaking Bad because dramatic intensity was not productive for me), then try to get back into the swing of things during the week (I'm the kind of person that will get stuck in a rut of wallowing for months so I tried to avoid that).
@contrary Seriously, you guys are the best. My sweetie and I are doing amazingly well, considering. We have had difficult, honest and respectful conversations, lots of crying and wine -drinking (good thing Crane Lake is only $4.50 a bottle), but also some normality, and hugs and even a few laughs. Still sad but really, really hopeful. I think, maybe, just maybe, we will be able to be friends. His family does this, so I know it's a possibility. But mainly, the big relief is that I know I'm making the right decision. And my BFF has a masters in counselling, so hey ;-)
@dabbyfanny "be brave enough to break your own heart" indeed. Dear Sugar is wonderful medicine.
Today is my 26th birthday! Yaaaaaaay!
@youresmalltime HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
@youresmalltime Google image search is FAILING ME SO HARD in delivering a picture of a Leon birthday cake, or better yet, Leon holding a birthday cake up for you while smirking his Leon smirk, but I want you to know that I'm imagining that right now and trying to mentally project it to you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
@youresmalltime happiest of birthdays to you!
@youresmalltime Happy birthday!! August babies are the best kind.
@Jennifer Culp Ah my Gahd his Leon smirk. The greatest gift of all. (Eh heh heh,) Thank you!
My dad just gave me the book of John in mini-book form to read. I'm thinking of giving him bell hooks' "Feminism is for Everybody" in return. I'll read your crap if you read my crap.
@Lady_Terminator OMG please tell me there are mini bell hooks books available somewhere.
@Lady_Terminator Or maybe "Cunt" by Inga Muscio?
@Summer Somewhere yeah, that'll go over well, haha. I just want something that will put a little seed of "hey maybe women ARE equal" in his mind.
@Lady_Terminator Oh, my goal wasn't a teachable moment, but revenge. :D
@SarahP They have thin little nondescript bell hooks paperbacks at the anarchist bookstores I've been to!
@dabbyfanny DITTO THE HUGS. But hopeful is good! Be nice to yourself this weekend - a little vino, a little John Hughes. Treat yo'self, girl.
Oh, and I was in Colorado last weekend for a wedding outside of Denver, then for a couple extra days for vacationing in Boulder. I cannot believe how lovely everyone is out there! Coloradans, how are you all such nice people?! Is it the sun? I bet it's all the sun. We don't get enough of that back east.
@SarahP Seriously! I love Colorado and the people are all amazingly nice. From the dude at Starbucks to the guy at the gas station who asked me if "the hustle and bustle [in New York] is like on TV."
@SarahP Yay! I'm glad you had fun! I've lived here my entire life, and I love it.
(I do think it's the sun).
@SarahP I'm a former Coloradan who moved to Boston just so I could fit in. I am a morose mid-westerner. No sunny disposition here!
But I will say, my home state is gorgeous. And I miss the mountains. But not all the driving.
@Kirs Yeah the necessity of driving really surprised me. But all the open highways with high speed limits made it pretty easy.
@Kirs You are almost me! Well, similar. I am an overly snarky midwesterner now living in Boston. I love going back to visit (nice people! So much sunshine! Big ol' skies!), but I fit in better out east.
@rosencrantz Big skies! Yes! People don't get it out here. Trying to explain the big sky concept is actually hard. People say "The sky is the sky." Nope, the sky is not the sky. Boston sky is small. Colorado sky is ginormous!
I've had some people go out West and then come back and say "I finally understand what you were talking about."
@Kirs I feel the same way about the Manitoba prairie sky vs. Montreal. People think they understand, but they don't understand. THERE'S SO MUCH OF IT.
@SarahP Some of it is the sun. Some of it is the weed. Some of it is the really good food, funds providing. But some of it is just cultural pressure to be happy and come off as happy all the time no matter what; it's not that acceptable to just exist in a neutral state, and being depressed/anxious will actively get you in trouble. It's especially bad for service employees; it's often sort of like "well, you might have screwed up their appointment/coffee/order, but what's really important is that you're so cheerful and engaged that they forget all about how their dog just died." It's a great environment if you're a naturally happy and cheerful person, but it's really rough if you have a mood disorder.
Any advice on where to find good online hairdo tutorials? I need a wedding-party-appropriate do and lots and lots of hand-holding.
@B. Arthur The ones at The Beauty Department are good, as long as you don't mind instructions like "Step 1: Start with perfectly curled hair," like that takes me four hours. Anyway, lots of wedding-appropriate stuff and the sock bun (which I know is all over the intertubes) has pretty much changed my life. Good luck, I have a very fancy wedding to go to soon and I'm kind of freaking out.
@B. Arthur I don't have anything specific to tell you because I can't access streaming video at work, but I always resort to youtube. I've always found the trick is to pick something that isn't too involved to start with. Worst case scenario: HATS!!
@B. Arthur I really like Loepsie on youtube. Best for long hair, but probably most of her stuff is workable with medium-length or longer.
My cat died suddenly and unexpectedly about a month ago and I've had an embarrassingly difficult time getting over it - maybe because she died in my arms, maybe because she's the first cat I've ever had as an adult so she was totally reliant on me. Yesterday I looked at pictures and felt for the first time that I was starting to get over it, and today I am torturing myself over it. I don't know why but it's totally unproductive and I would like to stop now thanks.
@Summer Somewhere Don't be embarrassed! A month is not a long time to grieve for the death of a beloved pet--don't beat yourself up for not being over it yet. You are doing great. **hugs**
@Summer Somewhere I still surprise myself by sobbing uncontrollably over my sweet furry cat, who died six months ago. A friend told me that her cats death hit her as hard as her brother dying, and that helped me see that grief is grief. Some creatures have a place in our hearts and it doesn't matter what their damn species is.
@Summer Somewhere A month is soooo not embarrassingly long. I mean, NO amount of time is embarrassingly long to grieve for someone you love.
@Summer Somewhere If I think about it too much, I still get upset over my first dog, who died almost ten years ago. I had serious occasional ugly-crying jags for...longer than a month. You have nothing to be ashamed of - grief is grief, and sometimes it takes a long time. I'm really sorry about your cat.
@Summer Somewhere Seeing as that I teared up just reading this, I don't think a month is at all unreasonable and your kitty was blessed to have had such a wonderful owner.
@Summer Somewhere I'm so sorry about your kitty. ::hugs:: At some point I remember hearing someone talk about how grief is such a messy emotion, and it stuck with me because it's so, so true. You're better, then you're back where you were. You're feeling OK, then suddenly it's come out of nowhere and hit you again. I think that's a natural way to heal, though; incrementally, swinging back and forth. It doesn't feel productive, and it sucks, but I think it;s part of how we heal. And in some ways, I think it's harder to lose our pets; they offer such devoted, uncomplicated love, and losing a pet still isn't seen as a big event for a lot of people. But it changes a big part of your everyday life.
I bet you had a wonderful kitty, and I know she was very happy to spend her life with you. You loved her a lot, and you miss her a lot. There's nothing wrong about either of those things.
@everyone Thank you for the kind comments, it's really helpful to hear from people who understand and have been through something similar. I have to stop reading these before I start crying at work. <3
@Summer Somewhere Just wanted to chime in with the chorus that you are allowed to grieve as long as you need to. I lost my kitty several months ago, and I'm choked-up thinking about him now. It's okay and you're okay.
@Summer Somewhere My Mao kitty died unexpectedly almost 7 years ago and I STILL get choked up sometimes. It took me around 4 years before I quit drunk-crying about it on the regular. I've never grieved for anyone or anything harder than I grieved for that dumbcat.
My point is, take all the time you need and don't feel bad for loving something so much. There's no shame there.
@Summer Somewhere I am so sorry, and don't be embarrassed! Though I do hope for your sake that you start feeling better soon. *Hugs*
Sometimes I think about how my dog is already 3, which means that I'll probably have only 10 or so years left with her if I'm lucky, and I almost start to cry. (Only tangentially related, but my point is that I get it and I'm sorry.)
@Summer Somewhere No! Oh, that's so rough. But don't beat yourself up over your grief. Losing a pet can be as hard as losing a person.
@Summer Somewhere I'm sorry to hear it. But just know that your cat was lucky to have you as his/her person, and you're allowed to mourn.
I went to my doctor this morning for another stab at a depression medication cocktail. Wellbutrin- not enough. More Wellbutrin- still not enough. Wellbutrin + Lexapro- I hated the complete lack of libido. His latest idea is Wellbutrin + Zoloft; he told me, "It might take several more tries to get the right combination." So, so discouraging.
Oh, and having seen the ubiquitous magazine ads, I dutifully "asked my doctor if Abilify could be right for me." He said, "Uh, that's a pretty powerful antipsychotic and I think they're doing people a disservice by marketing it as a simple li'l cherry on top of the medication people with unipolar (ie, not bipolar) depression are already taking." Interesting, because I think those ads are really evocative and make Abilify sound like exactly the right thing for me. That darn pharmaceutical industry!
@Exene What are the chances of finding a new doctor? Abilify was maybe the best thing I ever took. (Abilify + Wellbutrin, actually.) And someone last week on the open thread was singing its praises. Which doesn't mean it won't work for you, but it seems like it would be worth a try.
(The only side effect I had was weight gain.)
@Exene Ugh. Been there. Just hang in there- you will find the right cocktail for you. I did Lexapro for years. And all it did was make me fat and apathetic. Zoloft made me anxious. I've been on just Wellbutrin for a while now and I'm so happy it's working for me (with the occasional klonopin supplement...)
@Exene If you like the doctor and feel like you can talk to them, stick with it. It took a couple of months and combinations for my doctor and I to figure out the right levels of antidepressants to first help me climb out of the pit of unemployment depression, then adjust again to maintain. :)
@Exene Argh that sucks. I'm lucky in that citalopram seems to be working well for me, but it takes sooooo long to properly adjust to meds. All you can really do is just keep going.
@Exene SSRIs/SNRIs are so complicated. I took almost every single one on the market before my doctors figured out I wasn't actually clinically depressed and I had a totally different set of problems/physically diagnosable things and I was just bad at articulating my symptoms/feelings/frustrations (because they didn't help). I feel you being discouraged by the medical industry as a whole. Even now with medications that actually help my condition, I feel like I'm getting bent over by my insurance company constantly because they are picky about what they pay for.
Anyway, a lot of my friends deal/family with depression. My friend has been really successful on Celexa I saw her go from a person who was so depressed she couldn't get out of bed to a sociable, articulate, adventurous, all around great person (she was always great, obviously). My cousin takes abilify + an SSRI (can't recall which) and I definitely notice she seems more evened out and arguably "happier" on it, but she might have more problem than just being depressed.
@Exene derr, I should have read more before commenting. Celexa/citalopram (what @Emmanuelle Cunt mentions) are the same thing.
@billie_crusoe (unrelatedish) I was going to post this in HFC but I figured I'd put it here incase other people have experience. I was talking to my dermatologist about migranes because of medication reactions and she told me that she has been working with some area neurologists to use botox as a migrane treatment (mostly for people with other medical problems that require medication that interact with preventive migrane meds). Have you ever heard of this? It's kind of blowing my mind right now.
Heeeeeey. Any tales of pregnancy scares that anyone wants to share? Whether it was only a scare or it did actually turn out to be a pregnancy, I want to hear it and I want to hear all symptoms involved. My period is a week late, and I'm never, ever late. I took a home pregnancy test last night just in case, and it came out negative, but still I don't fully trust it and I'm getting paranoid. (I bought a 2-pack, so I can take the other one in a few days if the blood still ain't a-flowing by then.)
@werewolfbarmitzvah Have you been stressed out lately? Because sometimes stress can do RIDICULOUS things to your body. Or anything major in general--starting a new exercise regime or medication or vitamins or anything? I'm usually super super regular and once I was a week or so late when I started doing a LOT of exercise all at once. It slipped around a little bit to synchronize with my BFF's when we lived together. And I had a pregnancy scare a few months ago when I moved/was under a lot of stress, and it turned out I wasn't pregnant at all but I was really nervous for a month or so there!
Moral: Sometimes, bodies are weird.
@werewolfbarmitzvah Once, back when I was 22, my normally 27-day cycle was 34 days long, so of course I freaked out and, even though I was a grad student with no extra money, bought a pregnancy test. It came out negative, and the next day I got my period. My period just wanted to waste my money!
@SarahP Oh, I added my age at the time because that was the same year my period went through its own weird puberty; I meant to mention that in the comment but I forgot.
@werewolfbarmitzvah Have you recently switched on/off birth control? My clockwork like period morphed into this mysterious roulette wheel of lateness for the first ~6 months of being off birth control. Week late was totally not abnormal during that time. But I would still get all my telltale signs (mostly ungodly back pain) so it was pretty worrisome.
@The Lady of Shalott Hmmmm, I HAVE been stressed out, but truthfully I've been stressed out for ages now, and it hasn't thrown my period off before. The last time I was as late as this was one time about 8 years ago, so this is super-unorthodox. Hopefully it's just stress, but now I've been scaring myself by reading message boards on pregnancy websites, where all these women are talking about how all of their pregnancy tests were coming up negative but then after getting bloodwork done they discovered they were pregnant after all!
@SarahP Oof, those pregnancy tests ain't cheap! And I've had on-and-off cramps this whole time (period cramps or pregnancy cramps? Who can tell?), so I keep expecting my negative test results to be immediately followed by a period, but alas, still waiting, and my abdomen grows angrier and more swollen by the minute.
@adorable-eggplant No birth control switches going on, and I don't do hormonal BC, so whatever the situation is, it probably can't be that. I'm currently gunning for stress being the culprit.
Thanks all for the advice so far, BTW!
@werewolfbarmitzvah Oh dear!!! Stop hunting around pregnancy message boards! They are notoriously crazy-making. And that is probably not helping your fretting!
@werewolfbarmitzvah I just had one in June! Aunt Flo just didn't show up for her customary visit, and there WAS one incident that maybe might've meant babytime, so I was a little freaked and hyper-aware of everything my body was doing. It turns out I freaked myself out over nothing; three pregnancy tests over three weeks, and they were all negative, and the period showed up at its regularly scheduled time in July. No idea what happened there.
If it helps, I have a friend who actually did get pregnant, and she said her symptoms were immediate, obvious, and there was absolutely no doubt she was pregnant. She was nauseated all the time, lost all interest in cigarettes and alcohol (and she's a regular smoker/drinker), and generally felt like she had the flu. I know that isn't everyone's experience, but sometimes I guess when you're pregnant, it's immediately obvious?
You're probably not pregnant. There's only a 20% chance that you had sex when you were ovulating, which means there's an 80% chance it's a false alarm.
@werewolfbarmitzvah the only time I've had a pregnancy scare I was like three weeks (or maybe more?) late. And of course the likely culprit was THE WORST PERSON POSSIBLE. I'm totally convinced that it was late due to stress and travel (I was made to go on a two week cruise, for work. My period was supposed to start mid cruise but didn't) That job was terrible and stressful and the cruise didn't help. Somehow it just messed up my body functions(including digestion, ugh). Anyway, the fear I could be preggers caused more stress=more delay..I finally got my period the day I bought a test, so I never had to use it. Has anything changed in your life recently? Stress, medication, spending a lot of time with another woman?
@werewolfbarmitzvah Nooo! Don't freak out yet! I know that is the worst advice ever because of course you are going to freak out no matter what, but try to breath a little maybe? And The Lady of Shalott is right. Stop reading about pregnancy right now!
I had a scare a few months ago because I was nauseous and breaking out really bad and putting on weight. But the test came out negative. Then I realized gee whiz, maybe it was the EIGHTY SIX HOUR WORK WEEK I JUST HAD. All my symptoms were psychosomatic and as soon as I realized they were a product of stressed I upped my yoga and they all went away.
I will also say that I have been pregnant before and knew the symptoms, which should have been obvious to anybody who wasn't like, a Martian, but even with that past prior knowledge, it doesn't prevent me from being a Paranoid Petunia.
@Diana Yeah, I have heard that when you're pregnant, the symptoms are incredibly obvious and you just KNOW. But then I've also watched a few episodes of that "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant!" show, and then I get all doubty again. Thus far I have: cramps, not exactly nausea but definitely indigestion, and some mood swings (I came thisclose to exploding at a rude library patron at work yesterday, and I've gotten snippier than necessary with my husband). Maybe the plan will be to relax, have some pad thai, get a full night's sleep for once, take my other pregnancy test on Sunday if thar be no bloods yet, and try to quit reading these terrifying pregnancy websites for awhile.
Thanks again for everybody's helpful advice!
@werewolfbarmitzvah I believe we played this game with @redheadedandcrazie a couple weeks/months (?) back, so here goes: put on white shorts, go to a beach party where your crush will be hanging out, and take no pads/tampons/liners/cups/whathaveyou, immediately after having taken a pregnancy test. FOOLPROOF.
edit: while wearing your very favorite underwear.
@werewolfbarmitzvah I had one of those last week! I had a really light, really short period in mid-June, and nothing since. The last time I had sex was also mid-June, but implantation bleeding is a thing? So I panicked and bought a pregnancy test. Negative, thank god -- I would abort, no questions asked, but neither my partner nor I have the money for a medical abortion right now.
(I should note: I have an irregular period that vanishes for 3-6 months at a time for no reason. I also have the implant, which can make even regular periods do wonky things. And since mine started out as irregular and confusing...)
@werewolfbarmitzvah The only time I've ever had a pregnancy scare was in the midst of an August heat wave and during a super stressful summer internship. I was really freaked out because I'd had a condom-busting one night stand with some guy, and my period just did not show up that month! At the same time I was feeling really nauseous and faint in the morning almost every day, which seemed pregnancy-esque to me.
My gyno basically patted me on the head and said, "Ummm, you took Plan B, it's been 100 degrees out for weeks, and you are working 10 hour days. You aren't pregnant".
And I wasn't!
@werewolfbarmitzvah Sooooooooooo you can buy cheap pregnancy test strips in bulk on amazon and stuff.
...50 pieces of peace of mind for 32 cents apiece? DONE I'LL TOTALLY READ ALL THOSE POSITIVE REVIEWS FROM TTC COUPLES AS PENANCE.
@werewolfbarmitzvah I was 3 and 1/2 weeks late once. Horrifying. Not a pregnancy though. All tests negative, then had the period. And I am pretty regular.
"when you're pregnant, the symptoms are incredibly obvious and you just KNOW"
Not true for everyone, as a veteran of two pregnancies. PMS and early pregnancy damnably similar.
@werewolfbarmitzvah chiming in here to say that Dollar Tree pregnancy tests are completely accurate and affordable. I don't have regular periods so I take one every so often if I'm feeling off. Lo and behold, one came out positive in May of last year and now I have a sweet, giggly baby girl. So... They do work.
@werewolfbarmitzvah And the worst part is that stress about your period is enough stress to throw it off.
@werewolfbarmitzvah I had one that was a pregnancy. I had unprotected sex in the middle of my cycle, I was late, I took a pregnancy as soon as I was 1 week late. It is generally recommended that you take them first thing in the morning, when your urine (and thus the hormones in it) is the most concentrated. I took mine and the little line or whatever appeared faster than the required wait time. Like, as soon as I peed on it.
The next thing I did was call Planned Parenthood and make an appointment for an abortion (with RU 486), which is not what you asked about, but is an experience I can talk about if you choose that route and need someone to help you know what to expect (or even if you're just curious).
My advice is to try to relax - take a long hot shower, maybe eat something delicious, watch some pointless TV, drink some wine, have a few orgasms (might shake things up!). Bodies occasionally just decide to throw a wrench in the works for any number of reasons - sometimes you don't ovulate on schedule (or at all) in a month, and then that means your period doesn't come on schedule, and then you're all freaked out. (Stress and travel can throw off your ovulation cycle, so if you were doing anything unusual 2 weeks ago, that may be the reason). Good luck, and I hope it all works out for the best (whatever the best is for you).
@Blushingflwr @everyone. For my next pregnancy scare, I'm def. coming to the hairpin! Major hugs your way @werewolfbarmitzvah
You've all been so helpful with this! Good news: after a couple of nights finally vegetating and relaxing at home instead of running around like a stressed-out madwoman, I finally woke up with my period this morning, about a week and a half late! YESSSSSSSS.
But what's interesting is that this scare has actually been helpful in a way. It 1) finally got me thinking seriously and concretely about if/when I plan on doing any babymaking, whereas before it was just this vague thing, 2) it got me and my husband finally discussing the ifs/whens of future babymaking instead of it being some vague unreal thing, 3) it got me prioritizing about the things I'd like to do first before delving into something as permanent and lifechanging as babymaking. So while as recently as 5 years ago I was firmly unenthusiastic about ever having kids, I'm coming to a point where I think I'm now equally okay with either having them or not having them and I can see pros and cons to either side. BUT, last night I was hanging out with my husband and his Egyptian best friend, and we got to talking about how awesome it would be to all go to Egypt together next year and the friend could show us around and we could meet up with his family and we could go see tons of amazing stuff, and it just sounded SO GOOD, that I thought about how I miiiight want to think about babies within a few years, but that I DEFINITELY want to go to Egypt first. And I want to finally take the Korean lessons that I've been delaying on, and I want to get promoted at work.
Anyway, scary experience, but also oddly helpful experience. And thank you to everyone for your responses!
Have any of you seen Beasts of the Southern Wild? How was it? I go to the movies maybe once a year, but I really want to see this one!
@billie_crusoe I saw it twice in one weekend, in the only theater where it was playing near me, which is almost 90 miles away. It's lovely. And I keep thinking about it. And thinking about it.
@billie_crusoe I've heard polar opposite reviews, so I don't quite know what to do! One person said it was awful and condescending; one person said it was great.
My boyfriend loved it and could not stop talking about it while I was a little more "meh", but I definitely think it's worth seeing.
I think I will see it! I'm realizing I have a thing for losing/finding-parents movies, which I will not analyze at this time.
@billie_crusoe I saw it and thought it was okay, but I expect it looks better on the big screen than off it, so if you really want to see it and you're only going to the movies once a year then I would say go for it!
@MailerMattDaemon I kind of cried kind of the whole time.
@PoBoyNation I don't even know what to say about it, but I got my cry on. I had read that it romanticized poverty, but I don't really think it did. Maybe a little. I can't believe the actors are all non-actors! And I certainly wouldn't call it fantasy, even if you do have to suspend disbelief to get into it. (people are too literal. Those beasts were metaphorical. Right?)
@MailerMattDaemon Late, but count me as someone who LOVED this movie. There was a little bit of romanticizing poverty, but I think it was more about pride in the life you've built, even if it was built in shitty circumstances. And obviously, lots of ties to Katrina and the people who stayed in New Orleans. Also, when they went back, I don't know if it was meant to be permanent or just to bring her dad back.
I think I wept from when (spoiler) she turned around to face the beast to about halfway through the end credits. Like, tears-running-down-my-face wept.
Yo canners/picklers/preservers! Has anyone made sauerkraut? I will have about 15 giant cabbages in about a month that I want to make sauerkraut with, and I've never made it before and am a little terrified at what I've gotten myself into. Tips? Ideas? Recipes? Sock it to me!
@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside I have not, but I really want to!
Sorry, not helpful, but yeah! solidarity!
@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside Replying because although I do not know anything about making saurkraut, I want to be updated if this is answered.
@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside my partner makes it a lot and all he does is chop up a bunch of cabbage, massage it with salt, and jam it into jars to ferment! it's been working like a charm! Sandor Katz is a great resource for this kind of thing! http://www.wildfermentation.com/making-sauerkraut-2/
@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside I have not, but I recently made salt-brine-fermented key limes, which was super easy and made me more willing to experiment with other fermented things.
I really like Food in Jars, and the lady who writes it has this recipe (although 15 cabbages is not small batch, so maybe not helpful): http://www.seriouseats.com/2011/12/in-a-pickle-small-batch-sauerkraut.html
@kickupdust & @billie_crusoe
Holy moly that's super easy! I'm impressed. I was picturing high pressure canning and stuff like that. I'll have a fun sauerkraut party and report back after it's all fermented and delicious. No scurvy for this girl this winter. Thanks folks!
@Kirs & WhiskeySour join me in sauerkrauting, Pinners. let's pickle alllll the things.
@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside I made it once, but I think the bacterial colony didn't have quite the right composition and didn't quite sour up. I'm pretty bad at fermenting, though, and had the same thing happen to my kosher pickles. When I last made kimchi I innoculated the cabbage with a bit of bought kimchi and it seemed to work.
You guys I don't even think I'm PMSing but I cannot stop sobbing about the Olympics. The Canadian rowers! Ruta Meilutyte! Kayla Harrison! Gabby Douglas! The fact that the Canadian women's soccer team might do ok! My grandeur fantasy about winning gold in the women's lightweight pair's in rowing!
Also this video is A+ if you haven't seen it already ("The Happiest Olympics Worker"): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcmoRy444MY
@Interrobanged I can't stop sobbing about Syria. I gotta stop listening to NPR in the morning if I don't want to be a wreck at work.
@Lady_Terminator I hear you. Not so much the sobbing as despair and rage feeding into my already present road rage. >_<
@Interrobanged I cried all the way through the opening ceremonies and was completely freaked out by it. Woo not alone!
GUISE i just got tickets to see the mountain goats in richmond in october as an early birthday present to myself and...can it be fall now? I CAN'T WAIT!!!
@LauraIngallsWildest You are gonna make it through this fall if it kills you! /bad Mountain Goats jokes
But seriously, envious!
@LauraIngallsWildest I saw them a couple weeks ago in san francisco and HOLY SHIT, so amazing, lifechanging experience, etc etc etc. TELL US ALL ABOUT IT AFTERWARD!!
@LauraIngallsWildest I'm so excited for you! He was in Austin just about a year ago and the show was amazing. I'm Really hoping that they add some Texas dates to that tour because they have a horn section now!
I didn't get the job I did a second interview for :( which made me want to tear out my hair because who fucks up on a 2nd interview?!?
BUT just now I received a call for an interview at another hospital that is literally down the street from me, and I am SO excited. I applied for it yesterday and got the call this morning, which must be a good sign.
@avoidmadness Sad day :( You probably did not fuck up the second interview. The job market sucks, so much competition, etc., all the things you've heard a million times are true.
Also good luck with the next interview! That sounds like a good sign!
@avoidmadness You definitely didn't fuck up the interview. I had one last week from a job message board and I thought I did great-until I saw the woman interviewing me had a pile of resumes at least an inch high in front of her. Needless to say, I didn't get the job either. @billie_crusoe is right in that the job market just sucks and so many people are in your(our) same position.
@avoidmadness Also, maybe you didn't get the first job for a reason. Seems like this second prospect is looking like a better deal!
You guys, I need someone to kick my ass a little. I need to find a doctor. My old doctor is awesome, but since I changed jobs and no longer commute, I haven't been to see her, which means I've maybepossiblysorta gone a couple years without getting a physical/pap smear. I KNOW. But I'm so scared of going to a new doctor who is going to be a meanie about me being overweight? I asked around for recommendations, but still. Aargh. I need to just do it. PICK ONE, JACK.
@Girl Named Jack Will your insurance cover a nurse-midwife? They do paps and exams and are (in my experience) universally laid back and nonjudgemental. And they spend a heap of time with you, as opposed to the standard MD.
@MoonBat Ooh, I hadn't thought of that! Will they treat a non-mon-type, you think? Definitely going to check this out, thanks.
@Girl Named Jack: Planned Parenthood? I've never had anything but a supportive experience there.
@Girl Named Jack Maybe also check out alternative healthcare centers. I'm in Boston and I go to Fenway Health, which was originally founded to serve the LGBT community, and my PA was super chill. She did ask the usual questions about diet and activity, but was very positive about it.
@laurel I thought about that, since I've also had great experiences with PP, but I kind of want a GP-type as my main doctor. With my old doctor, I liked being able to go to her for almost everything, including the flu and stuff. My local PP doesn't offer those kind of health services, just lady-bits stuff.
@lobsterhug I'm kind of slapping myself for not having thought about that? DUH JACK.
@Girl Named Jack Oh, yeah, definitely. In fact the nurse-midwife that I see now won't even do OB work anymore, as she is old like me and wants not to be on call every weekend.
@Girl Named Jack FTR, if you haven't had issues, you don't need a pap anymore. I've heard three years, but maybe that's without new partners?
@Girl Named Jack So where are you and where are your old fabulous doc located that you couldn't go back to her? Are you so far away that getting there is a serious challenge, or is it more like, you moved from Providence to New Haven and now your Boston-based doc is too far away since you don't take the commuter T from PVD into Back Bay anymore?
@Xanthophyllippa You have made me realize I know very little about geography in Boston, but... I think maybe that is a good analogy? She's about a 35 minute drive away. Technically, I could still get there, I just feel bad taking an extra hour off from work to do so. But maybe I shouldn't. She was very helpful when I was anxiety-ridden during my divorce, pointed me to an excellent counselor. And sometimes? Sometimes? There were puppies in her office, at the reception desk. DACHSHUND puppies.
You know what? Screw work. I'm going back to my old doctor. I love you, cool doctor!
@Girl Named Jack YAY! Because 35 minutes is nothing if you love her -- and even more nothing if she's in a place where you can run errands or do some cool shopping or snag a chai at your favorite cool coffeehouse too.
@Girl Named Jack YES. Seriously, if you have a great doctor, keep her. My doctor moved from 15 minutes away from me to more like 50, but I kept going back to her because she's so great.
@Girl Named Jack I really, really have to find a new doctor, because I feel bad taking up space at the walk-in clinics, because they are in SUCH poor areas and people there probably need the anonymous-no-questions-asked-no-charge-for-prescriptions care more than I do.
BUT nobody wants to register me as a patient because I'm only in this flat til the end of September and have no records AND the only doctor who said she could accept me is "the worst GP surgery in Britain".
MOVING COUNTRIES. IT IS DIFFICULT.
Piggybacking on my earlier comment: ummm, can someone more legally-inclined than I tell me what it means if our landlord never signed our lease a year ago? Nothing? Can he just waltz into the realtor's office and sign it and it is valid retroactively?
Could I have had a cat this whole time!?!?
This morning on my way into work I passed a truck with mudflaps that said Grumman-Olson. I just re-read the His Dark Materials trilogy, and all I could do was wonder how Stanislaus Grumman and Peggy Olson got into the trucking business together.
In more serious news, mamastonefruit broke her arm in two places last week, and jacked up her nose and chin in the same fall, and had to have surgery to put a plate in her arm on Thursday (not yesterday, last Thursday). She is, thank everything, doing so much better now, but it was so scary and hard to be across the country from her and unable to help when she was hurting so badly. MOMS!
@Valley Girl How can you not smile back at her. How, I ask you.
@Valley Girl She is so ridiculously adorable. I thought the tiny Russian girl was adorable, too, and so sad to watch when she was sobbing--until I found out it was because she'd won a silver medal instead of gold.
@Faintly Macabre did anyone catch the story on npr this morning about how bronze medal winners are happier about their achievement than silver medal winners? i guess the argument is that silver medal winners focus on how they just missed out on goal, while bronze medal winners are pumped they beat out everyone else.
i do love seeing someone genuinely ecstatic about winning a bronze medal. it's a nice reminder that it's still a HUGE deal to some athletes to just be in the top 3, and it contrasts beautifully with the gold medal count nbc loves to update us on.
@double paw? Awww. That reminds me (with a few extra twists in the saga) of the UK mens gymnastics team and how adorable it was when they won silver (then got demoted to bronze? I think? I had to go home before the brouhaha was resolved and I could just google but I'm lazy).
@Faintly Macabre I've read that bronze medal winners are more satisfied than silver medal winners, which makes sense. For bronze, you're thinking, "I was so close to not medaling!" but for silver, you're thinking, "I was so close to winning gold!"
NPR is my wake-up radio and there's always that 10 minutes between alarm and actual waking up where I'm half-listening and half-asleep. I wasn't sure if I'd dreamed that silver vs. bronze medal winners thing and am now glad to know it was real.
@Valley Girl I was reading an article (can't find it now, of course) where Aliya Mustafina was talking about the team competition on Tuesday, about how they were crying of pain, first, because they didn't perform quite as well as they would have liked, but then crying of joy too. (And she was also very sweet and complimentary of the American team. Not really relevant but I love sportsmanship stuff like that.) So I guess they're all feeling some really complicated feelings! I would definitely be an emotional MESS no matter what happened.
Oh, pinners, I've been reading romance novels almost exclusively this year and I think I might have a developed a wee bit of an obsession.
I'm reading and loving Zoe Archer's Scoundrel (which is soooooo good! why do I have to go to work? I just want to read!) and I have an Eloisa James and a Lisa Kleypas ready to go when I finish it.
Tell me all about your favorite romance novels! I need some new authors to try out.
@lobsterhug I have only just recently delved into the world of romance novels, but I just finished Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie and it was delightful.
@Anna Jayne@twitter I love Bet Me! It is delightful. Maybe I'll reread that. It's been a while since I checked in with Min and Cal.
@lobsterhug I have been looking and looking for something that is a romance novel but also legitimately funny, and this was really the first one that fit that description.
@Anna Jayne@twitter Jennifer Crusie is a good time.
Although I laugh and laugh thinking about when my grandmother read "Faking It" and was all scandalized about what, exactly, was being faked.
@lobsterhug Julia Quinn!
@lobsterhug Rose Lerner for historical romance novels!
@lobsterhug Joanna Bourne's Spymaster series is pretty fun, for the dialogue if nothing else.
Ever get really amped for something cool to happen and then have it delayed for boring/annoying reasons? I feel like a second-grader sending in a Frosted Flakes proof of purchase for a Tony the Tiger cereal bowl, only to wait another 6-8 weeks for it to arrive.
@cuminafterall I ordered fall shoes that were great but too big, and now I have to wait a week for a half-size down. That totally counts, right?
So a truck from the oil company showed up today and took our propane tanks. Now we have no hot water or stove/oven. My landlords are bringing over a little tank from their outdoor cookstove to tide us over the weekend, then hopefully work something out with Irving? siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
@Changeling Whyyyyyy? That sucks.
This is your chance to maybe try out the raw food thing!!!
And bathe in the river??? I read My Side of the Mountain too much as a kid.
@l'esprit de l'escalier
Officially the least useful, helpful, and sympathetic comment I've ever made! It sounds like a serious hassle. :-(
@l'esprit de l'escalier
Aw raw food sounds good though! And I've never tried it.
I survived my first week as lead pricer!! Everyone is still alive, actually. This despite the fact that we got in four trucks (they are going to start coming nearly every day from now on -- Christmas ahoy!), had two signing changes, lost a bunch of people to vacation/illness/work-related things, and filled in some of the holes with not-quite-up-to-snuff people, on top of having to make 57,000 price changes. But we did it, and I'm still alive! Could not have done it without our lead signer helping me; she is seriously the best. I adore her anyway, though. PHEW. What a week.
The Newport Jazz Festival is this weekend and it's probably a good thing I never got tickets, because I honestly don't think I have the energy, as much as I want to go. So instead I'm going to go shopping and then watch all the Bourne movies 'cause I am seeing Legacy next weekend. Works for me. Anyone else?
Okay, so, I guess I need some advice. I recently admitted to myself that I am definitely into a friend I met recently. There are a few problems with this. Problem the first: we met online and live like 900 miles apart. Problem the second: I've always been pretty bad at reading signals and adding the intent-obscuring effect of the Internet does not help. Problem the third: I recently started therapy and don't think I'm in a good place for any kind of dating anyway, but shit, I dunno.
Okay typing all that out made me even more sure the correct decision here is "Keep my damn mouth shut," but I'm gonna hit Post Comment anyway.
@TheUnchosenOne it sounds like you have a connection with this person, but what I would say is that the connection will STILL BE THERE when you're in a better place for dating. I have so so so been there and it helped a lot to be like, "I want to build this friendship and not expect or yearn for more than that, and if somehow we get together in the future, ok, but if not, also ok, because we're friends." does that make sense?
@realtalk It does! Right now I'm stuck between "Don't say anything, ever," which is my normal position in these situations, and "Say something but couch it in all kinds of caveats." Kind of leaning towards the former, at least for now.
@TheUnchosenOne I think don't say anything and try for friendship for now? Unless (s)he brings it up, in which case "say something but couch it in all kinds of caveats"?
@TheUnchosenOne: Don't get in a relationship with someone 900 miles away.
@realtalk when I say "be like" I mean "talk about it to myself in these terms". agree agree agree with everyone who says "don't talk about it with the person in question".
@TheUnchosenOne I KNOW WHO IT IS! Probably. I agree with realtalk though.
It's 4:00. It's cheese snack time!
Any recommendations for what cheeses should I be buying/trying/eating? I'm not particularly fond of most soft cheeses.
@WhiskeySour Farmer's cheese! It's the squeaky kind.
@WhiskeySour I really like Goat's Milk Gouda. It is a softer hard cheese.
@WhiskeySour Asiago! If you like stinky cheeses.
@WhiskeySour All the Gouda! I made mac n' cheese with half cheddar and half applewood smoked Gouda, and it's probably the best thing I have ever decided to do.
@meetapossum Definitely seconding the smoked Gouda. Excellent if you happen to have an apple around, too. And tortillas. Basically, make smoked Gouda and apple quesadillas.
@VolcanoMouse Umm...I think I know what I'm having for dinner tonight!
I looooove Gouda, especially smoked Gouda. Apple and smoked Gouda quesadillas you say?
excuse me, I think there may be drool on my keyboard
@WhiskeySour I very recently got into blue cheese, via some particularly delicious blue cheese-stuffed olives. Also amazing with pasta. Just thinking about it now is making me salivate...
@WhiskeySour If you like blues, Bleu D'Auvergne is excellent and cheap. I also really like Oreganzola.
There's also a Croatian sheep's milk cheese called paski sir that is not blue and delicious.
@VolcanoMouse YES THIS! Also make peanut butter and gouda sandwiches on toast. Which sound gross but are SO GOOD.
@meetapossum Apparently I am stalking you all through this post, but smoked gouda is the VERY BEST in mashed potatoes. Just sayin'.
@WhiskeySour Smoked gouda in everything, please. I bought some for an asparagus quiche and it was yummmm. Kinda like bacon-y tasting cheese. (Disclaimer: I'm a vegetarian, your bacon-y perception may vary.)
@cuminafterall I am a non-vegetarian, and I totally agree; some smoked Gouda does taste just like bacon! Did you happen to buy it at Costco? Because that's where I found my bacon-y cheese.
@WhiskeySour No, I got it at Safeway. It was applewood-smoked Gouda from Wisconsin. I hope they still have it, because I've got the strongest craving for grilled cheese right now...
@WhiskeySour AGED gouda. with little crystals inside. aged goat gouda if you can find it. It's like cheese candy!
Any of you looking to be distracted by creepy mythological (OR ARE THEY? oooOOOooooOOOooo) creatures should look up "black eyed kids" and read all the people's accounts of having creepy children with entirely black eyes show up at their doors asking to be let in.
@SarahP I'm being super productive at the office today.
@SarahP: ahhh where were you with this three hours ago??
@SarahP Noooo, I can't not read these. It's like when I fall into a creepypasta black hole :(
@SarahP Well, now I'm both unproductive and frightened. Sounds like a good day to me!
@SarahP Wha ha ha this is making me find so many ghost hunters' websites.
@SarahP Ahhh! Creepy! Another creepy one to look up is the shadow people phenomenon. When I was a kid I had a shadow person experience. I'm a skeptic, so it was probably sleep paralysis, but I remember it very vividly.
@SarahP I haven't even googled it yet and already all the little hairs on my arms are standing on end!
@SarahP Why can I not resist the temptation to read about things like this? And completely black eyes are one of those horror movie visual tropes I find unreasonably frightening.
@meetapossum How did I not know about creepypasta until this moment?!
@WhiskeySour I have not heard of these before! I'm a skeptic too but all these stories are making me seriously glad I don't live alone.
@SarahP I'm such a little chicken, but so fascinated by stuff like this. It's a bad combination
@SarahP I hope you have a lot of free time!
@SarahP And now I'm irrationally scared of encountering them on my drive back to college. I will feed them to my dog if they approach me.
@SarahP CLEARLY DEMONS, SALT THE DOORS.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher On the one website about them, they have "theories" and the picture for "demons" is Dean with black eyes.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher You might be kidding but I'm considering it. JUST DON'T FORGET THE WINDOWS. Fuck it. I'm installing a triple salt ring around the property.
@The Kendragon I AM OBVIOUSLY NOT KIDDING. Rock salt and holy water, and don't skimp on either.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher But if they were demons, why would they have to be invited in? That puts me on the vampire side of the debate.
@meetapossum DEMON VAMPIRES, better stock up on stakes.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Or do we chop off their heads? EVERYTHNG? Stake them in the heart, chop of their heads, burn the bones, salt the ground!
@meetapossum I like this plan.
@meetapossum Stake them in the heart, chop off their heads with a silver axe, shoot the heads with silver bullets, burn the bones, salt the ground. That might cover it.
@SarahP : I am totally a chicken too and I read the yahoo! answers page because I thought it would be okay and I am still a little scared. No wikipedia page though so.. maybe this is a wholly made up thing? Yes? YES.
::singing to herself::
@RK Fire "Wholly made up thing" is my reaction, too, but they're still creepy to read about.
@SarahP: You don't have to tell me twice. I spent a better part of my about-to-fall-asleep time being freaked out by the thought of them and had to come up with little thought exercises to calm down my increasingly sleepy/irrational brain, such as imagining them in ridiculous outfits (the adult form of the Riddikulous spell, go me), focus iing instead of silly gifsounds that make me laugh, and trying to hold onto logic, e.g. "if they really exist and happen in major cities, wouldn't more people know?." voila
I won tickets to see Into the Woods in Central Park tonight! YEAHHHH BOYEEEE
@Anna Jayne@twitter jealous!!
@Anna Jayne@twitter SO JEALOUS. Have a great time!
@Anna Jayne@twitter Into the Woods makes me CRY LIKE A BABY. A hungry, angry baby.
My new therapist sucks and ends sessions a good twenty minutes early every time. :(
@whereismyrobot Change therapists, but not before you call him/her out for the shortchanging? If you're paying for an hour, you get the hour.
@whereismyrobot: Fire your new therapist.
@laurel Yeah, it's weird because it is done through work. I get six sessions a year and I am sad that I wasted three on this lady. I can get another, but I would only get three sessions this year.
@whereismyrobot: Even so, three sessions with someone potentially good or three sessions with someone you know can't help you?
Last night, I hung out with my best friend and got very drunk, and he decided to take this opportunity to steal my phone, call my ex-boyfriend (who I still have ~feelings~ for or whatever), and talk to him for nine minutes. I did not overhear any of the conversation and he stubbornly did not answer any of my questions about it, but apparently he does not know how to delete things from the call log on my phone, so I do have the hard proof. Questions: why did I let this happen, why did I not follow him when he went around the corner to do this (instead I sat in my chair the whole time being like, WHAT'S HAPPENING), will knowing what was said between them make me want to die?
@sophi This is really manipulative and controlling behavior, and it's not ok. It's not your fault that you were drunk (around someone who you thought you could trust [but whom I would suggest you not continue to trust]) nor is it your fault that you didn't do something to stop it, because WTF who could have expected that??
I really am shocked and he owes you both an apology and an explanation, but if it were me in that situation I would prefer never speaking again. UGH.
Sorry and hugs.
@sophi That was not cool of him. I agree with adorable-eggplant, that was manipulative and controlling, and at the very least he owes you an apology. The fact that he won't tell you what he said is very suspicious as well.
@TheUnchosenOne @adorable-eggplant I honestly think that in writing it out, I made it sound worse than it actually is? My reaction, really, is less angry, and more "aaaah what?". This dude is my best bro in the whole world, I could have stopped it had I really wanted to, and I know that he'd tell me what they talked about if I pestered him about it enough (which I might still do, though I am certain he only had good things to say). I thought it was more funny than anything else at the time, and still do, my problem with it is mostly just, oh god, wtf do I say to [ex-bf] next time I talk to him?
@sophi It's possible that his intentions were good. Maybe he wanted to have a talk with your ex and tell him to stop leading you on, or tell him to stop being a jerk and get back together with you or whatever. Maybe the reason he doesn't want to tell you want he said was because the convo didn't go the way he'd planned, and he's embarrassed? I dunno, I tend to think that whatever your drunk friend was doing was not intended to be malicious. Drunk friends tend to be well-meaning, if idiotic.
@sophi I don't think you should torch the friendship or anything. I just think what he did is pretty shitty. If it were me the next time I talked to [ex-bf] I'd awkwardly stumble about the point for a few minutes and then blurt out "So what did [best friend] say to you?" Also I would keep pestering [best friend] about it, because what could he have possibly said that he needed to keep secret?
@sophi Still not convinced that's ok behavior. Also, 'I could have stopped it had I really wanted to' is textbook victim blaming. He crossed your boundaries, put you in an awkward position, and is making you jump through hoops to get the information you want/need. None of that strikes me as very friendly. But we might just have different definitions of friendly behavior, goodness, who knows.
Sooo bracketing the whole question of whether this is acceptable in future, I'd suggest saying nothing to the ex. If he brings it up when you see him, then be up front that you didn't hear the conversation and have no idea what was said. If your friend tells you what he said, I'd still take that approach because you have no way of knowing whether he's telling the truth, so he could be expecting you to defend him or take his side (who knows?) but you haven't got enough information to do that. So side-step the whole game by being up front.
@TheUnchosenOne Haha, I like how we have pretty much the exact same feeling and completely opposite responses!! 'Cause I'd totally burn that bridge and then say nothing to the ex because I guess I have a mad max approach to interpersonal relationships... That said, it totally works for me. I've cut really toxic/mildly annoying/abusive/slightly inconsiderate people out of my life with such ferocity that my remaining friend group sparkly and solid like a cut diamond.
@adorable-eggplant I've always been very forgiving! Honestly it's kind of at the point where I consider it a flaw. I tend to give people way more chances than they deserve. It's caused some problems for me!
Does anyone need to hear a jam? I've been listening to this on a loop and ohemgee it's so good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrGcfM4Z6sw
You are welcome.
@adorable-eggplant I see you and raise you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5CQ20m2IX4
@trappedinabay I secretly hoped that would happen!! Muchas gracias!
@adorable-eggplant I just made my husband dance with me to this.
@adorable-eggplant I also really love this one, though it's in English: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOcnITphyjk
I've been laying low for spiritual reasons. But this week Mr. Teenie handed me the reins for the wedding planning, and told me that he trusts me and he just can't take it anymore.
At first I was pissed. Now I'm realizing the full majesty of this concept. Why didn't we do this before?
@teenie Mr. Teenie sounds like a crafty and clever human.
What are your favourite driving albums? I am going to Halifax next week and we're going to drive around Cape Breton for a few days but we can't take any more local radio.
@phlox Is it too cheesy to say Graceland? And I am consumed with jealousy that you are driving around Cape Breton. Hit up Meat Cove for me, please.
Coldplay, Viva La Vida
Lyle Lovett, Live in Texas
Neil Diamond, any of the earlier Greatest Hits albums (you want the ones with stuff like "I'm A Believer," but also the ones with "Sweet Caroline." Stop before you get to anything from A Jazz Singer or Headed for the Future)
Simon & Garfunkel, Concert in the Park
Paul Simon, Rhythm of the Saints
I like upbeat stuff to listen to in the car since it seems appropriate to have perky music as you're tooling along at 70 mph, so I have a couple playlists, too.
Highway 61 Revisited is the best driving album in the history of driving albums.
Also, don't tell anybody I told you this but the new John Mayer album Born And Raised makes me want to take a road trip just so I can listen to it while driving on a highway.
@Girl Named Jack Haha, Graceland is the only album on my driving playlist so far.
Wilco, Sky Blue Sky
Cat Stevens, Mona Bone Jakon
Ray Lamontagne, Trouble
You would not do yourself a wrong by including The Band, The Beatles (singalongs help to avoid falling asleep while driving), some Bowie for when you're feeling fancy, or the equally divine yet totally different Patsy Cline and Otis Redding). Also, Doc Watson! Benny Goodman!
I can tell from all these suggestions that all the 'Pinners are in as much of a folky mood as I've been!
@phlox Modest Mouse, The Lonesome Crowded West!
@phlox On my recent road trip, I listened to Car Wheels on a Gravel Road (I knowwww, but LUCINDA!) and an album of John Prine covers (Broken Hearts & Dirty Windows), and lots of old mix CDs!
@phlox Am I a predictable semi-hipster if I say The Decemberists' "The Crane Wife"?
@charmcity LUCIIIIIINNNNNNDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I also want to add Tom Petty's soundtrack to "She's The One." Such a driving jam.
@phlox Susumu Yokota "Grinning Cat" if you like ambient/electronica.
@phlox The Magnetic Fields' album Charm of the Highway Strip is good travelling music.
Jane should write about Olympics nail art. There's a surprising amount of it! http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2012/08/01/sports/olympics/20120801-OLYPOD-v2.html#/?slide=14
I GOT TO RIDE A HORSE ON THE BEACH! And they let me gallop because "We can tell you know what you're doing man. See that big log (200 meters away!) You can gallop to it and back. Oh, and Nesco's a former rodeo horse, so he's really fast."
I don't think I will ever stop smiling.
@The Kendragon I am jealous! I want to do THIS! Although I kind of don't really know what I am doing really. I mean I am comfortable on a horse, but have no other experience on a horse other than several fairly calm trail rides. But still, that sounds like heaven!
@This is my new username my parents are amazing and gave me a year of riding lessons when I was 9...and that turned into 7 years of weekly riding lessons.
I think it was Nicole who mentioned Maeve Binchley this week after she passed, and I remember thinking "hmm that sounds nice and cozy, kind of like a literary Calendar Girls" (which is secretly my favorite comfort movie) and lo and behold the local library had put together a display of her works. I love them so far! She's delightful! It's like a readable hug.
guys, I think my birth control is making me fat and I'm generally sick of it. and I don't want an IUD either, so I'm wondering if anyone has ever used a diaphragm and if I should get one. so retro!
@mynamebackwards: I failed to insert my diaphragm properly and promptly got pregnant. I use a cervical cap instead. I guess they're super rare now though I'm not sure why. It's awesome! No hormones, can leave it in for 48 hours. I've even used it as a menstrual cup on occasion.
@mynamebackwards Yes, diaphragms work well! Also, they feel like they're not there. You get fitted, get one in your size, and then it lasts basically forever, plus the occasional purchase of spermicide. They are way cheaper than the pills or condoms. Some kinds have a little string (which isn't ideal because you might get a yeast infection more easily), but the good kind don't have the string - you just put your finger in and pull it out.
@laurel AHHHH! this is my worst nightmare. thanks for the cervical cap tip...I will consult my ladydoctor and see what she says :)
@mynamebackwards: I never really figured out how to get it in right. The time in question I was like, "I guess that's right?" and did the deed anyway, even though I wasn't sure. Operator error! Your diaphragm usage could be far superior to mine. But I find the cervical cap much easier to put in. It's much smaller and it kind of seems to know where to go and want to go there in a way the diaphragm never did.
RIDICULOUS SONGS YOU SING TO YOUR PETS. I know we all have them. What are yours?
My most recent creation is to the tune of "Let Me Love You" by Mario and goes "Kitty you should let me brush you, put this comb up on you, pull out all the fur that you don't need." It goes on like that for awhile. I sing to my cat pretty much constantly. Uhh... tell me I'm not alone?
@olliegrace My dog's name is O'Ryan, so every time we pass a O'Reilly auto parts store, I sing "O-O-O-O'Ryaannn....Goofy Dog!" to the O'Reilly jingle.
@olliegrace I have a tune to "Rubber Duckie" that starts out "Little kitty, I love you" and then the rest of the lyrics just get ad-libbed.
@olliegrace no pets here but i hope more people join in because i love stuff like this and your version of "let me love you" is killing me
@olliegrace My wife has a wakeup song for our dog that goes "Good morning good moooooorning good morning, you wanna go outside"
Also if you're planning on having kids, just wait until they're around. ALL THE SONGS
@olliegrace My boyfriend has a laundry song! Well, not one song. But every time he does laundry I'll hear him downstairs singing about what he's doing. "Now we put the soap in, to make our clothes all clean. We press the button and swish swish they spin!" (My boyfriend also apparently refers to himself with the royal "we")
@olliegrace I sing Prince songs to my cat! "Little pussycat, baby you're much too fast!"
@The Kendragon Is your boyfriend Marshall?
@olliegrace: My babydog, who is very busy and bustles around a lot, has more of a flourish than a song. Picture what the band would play as she came out from behind the curtain on the Tonight Show. Kind of a brassy "Yut-da-da-tuh-duh!"
@meetapossum Does that make me Willow? (She will always be Willow to me)
@olliegrace I sing "Evil Woman" by ELO to my kitty. "EeeEeeevil kitty/Who's an evil kitty?"
@olliegrace My dog is a Puggle, so I Lady Gaga it and sing "Puh-puh-puh-puggle face, puh-puh pugle FACE" to him.
So many songs, all the time. But most frequently, my dog hears variations on Madonna's Music. "Pooping -- makes the doggy -- feel much better -- yeah!" You can try this with your baby also.
@olliegrace My dog's name is Rufus, so I sing "Roodle-roodle-rooooo" to the tune of Zou Bisou Bisou to him. It is probably horrible.
@Biketastrophy Oh my god, I will be a singing nutcase if/when I have kids. I was bad enough on my own, the addition of a cat increased the singing, I can't even imagine a kids + pets scenario.
Also, everyone, all of your pet songs are wonderful.
When my daughter was younger she used to sing that Alicia Key's song "No One" to our cat, who passed away last summer, so now whenever we hear it we immediately go, "AWWWWW..."
@olliegrace You all saw this brilliant Awl list of cat songs from a while ago, yes? http://www.theawl.com/2011/11/top-ten-dumb-songs-to-sing-to-cats
@olliegrace I sing "Baby dog, my baby dog, I need you, oh how I need you" (The Supremes) to my cairn all the time. Or "Mr. Doggeh, Doggeh Doggeh" (Mos Def).
@olliegrace EMBARRASSING: I dance for my cat, to see how horrified I can make him/how fast he will run away. Especially that Alex Clare song "Too Close" (with the wub-wub)... basically my fave pastime when my roommate is out on a date.
@wallsdonotfall I had not seen this! Too good.
@olliegrace I sing so many songs to my cat. Notable one's are Sarah Silverman's Poop song after she poos. I sing Robyn's "Who's that Girl" But call it "Who's that Truck" Cause Truck is her name. And I do a mean rendition of "Build Me Up (Buttertruck)" God forbid I have Children, I may only communicate to them in song.
@olliegrace My latest Cat Song, to the tune of "Old Time Religion" (it was stuck in my head!), as sung to my fluffy, ornery tortoiseshell kitty:
"Give me that old fluffy kitty (3x), she's good enough for me
She's ornery and she's bitey (3x), but that's good enough for me"
I have a different version for each cat!
@olliegrace "Hey look at that doodle. Hey look at that doodle. Hey look at that doodle. HE TAKES NAPS." (To the tune of "Sexy and I know it" obviously). I also made up entirely new lyrics to "Let me be your star" from Smash once. "His taaaaail and his fuzzy face plaaaay a duet and he liiiikes to drink out of a cup! He doesn't like playing, but he is still saying: Let me be your puuuup."
...I'll be going now.
@olliegrace My cat is named Cats-cats, so I sing her the Katamari Damacy theme, except saying "Cats-cats" instead of na-na. And we call the dog "Bean", which is the Cockney rhyming slang for her actual name (Sydney)*, so sometimes I sing them both "Beans and Cats-cats" to the tune of Beans and Cornbread.
*I did not come up with this - it is my boyfriend's dog/nickname. The fact that he had a Cockney nickname for his dog was on the top of the list of reasons to date him, though.
@all I'd suggest you make short videos of yourselves singing to your pets and then post them to the tumblr, but that's probably too personal, right? ;-)
@olliegrace "Spidercat, Spidercat, does whatever a Spidercat does." In my best Homer Simpson voice. And the variation of the varitation: "Poisoncat, Poisoncat," for my boyfriend, who is deathly allergic to my cat.
@ginalouise OMG I do spidercat too! While holding her horizontally against a wall! It's her favorite/least favorite time of day.
@olliegrace "Heroes" but with "heroes" replaced by "puss cats"
Actually many of the lyrics have been altered to reflect its cat-centric context.
@olliegrace I sometimes sing this one to the tne of "Hey Jude" and it doesn't really make much sense but whatever: Hey dog/you are a dog/and your butt is really fluffy
I also like to sing what I'm doing Darwin a lot. He is pretty much used to it.
@olliegrace: Yeah, I sing a little ditty to my cat to the tune of "Clementine". "Oh my lovely, lovely Twi-light, you are lovely and named Twilight!" ...yeah.
@Jenn@twitter One of my cats is named Pusscat and so I composed a theme ditty I sing whenever I see her. It goes "these are the days, of the lovely Pusscat", you go up and down on the "lo-vely" and then up twice on the "Puss-cat" and draw it out. I think she likes it. I figure profundity in the lyrics wouldn't really boost her appreciation.
@olliegrace Aw, I used to sing, to the tune of You Are My Sunshine "You are my monster, my only monster.You make me happy, and you are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you, so please don't taaaake my moooonster awayyyyy" and then would promptly cry because my ex-roommate WAS coming to take her away.
I would also pick her up and swing her around in my arms while singing Tom Jones' What's New Pussycat? for happier times.
@Danzig! I fear that if Twilight was to realize how silly the song I sing her is, she would be disappointed...then again, this is the cat that seems to think that if she meows at me enough, eventually I will understand her. She has also figured out that when my alarm goes off, I am getting up--and thus will be feeding her shortly--and has taken to batting gently at my face if I hit the snooze button. Diabolical kitty!
This is totally inappropriate, but I can't stop flipping through it! http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/hot-guys/guess-the-olympic-bulge#slide-1
Eeeewww, I thought it would be butts :( This is terrible!
You guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyys! Perhaps inspired by this week's awesome post about female friendship, the universe has decided to drop a potential friend in my lap!
I've been e-mailing back and forth with a fellow 'Pinner about a TV show that we both like, and I casually threw out a "Are you in Austin?" (thinking, of course, that she wouldn't be) to which she replied in the affirmative. HEEEE! So we have a friend-date set up for next weekend, and we're going to meet up for mimosas and get tipsy and talk about Avatar: The Last Airbender. I'm excited!
@wee_ramekin Envious!!!!!!!!! I mean, awesome!
@wee_ramekin 'Pinner friendship serendipity!
@vanillawaif drive down to chicago!
@wee_ramekin I know an awesome Pinner in Austin. It would be so damn cool if that was who you were hanging out with. Just say the word "ringworm" to her, and if she exhibits encyclopedic knowledge, it's probably her :-)
I am daydreaming/torturing myself with the NYT real estate section, looking at beautiful houses far, far way from this here computer.
@RocketSurgeon I do that to procrastinate, too! It gets especially bad when I start looking at huge old houses in my immediate area, and then realize that I will never, ever live in them. At least the gorgeous house in Morocco or Prague, I have no chance of visiting, but the empty Tudor a few minutes away is way more tempting.
1. I hate Fifty Shades of Grey so much. Solid fucking shit right here, that is my official stance. Disgusting. MY IMPRESSION OF THAT BOOK: "I <3 RAPE CULTURE, PATRIARCHY IS MY BOYFRIEND."
2. I'm finally writing a reference post on lube.
3. MY ROOM MATE IS STAYING TIL NOVEMBER EEEEEEEEE!
4. Andrew Bird you guys. Andrew. Bird. What could be better than a sensitive white guy with a guitar? A sensitive white guy with a violin. (is Andrew Bird even white?...)
Lay it on me hairpin! Oh how I miss being on here all the time...
@Porn Peddler LUBE. Post the link when you finish writing about lube? I have the most sensitive of vulvas and am always looking for good lube.
YAY ROOMMATE! That sounds wonderful!
@billie_crusoe Spoiler alert: Vie lube. Vie lube. Vie lube. Vie lube. Period. VIE LUBE. ULTRASENSITIVE LIQUID AND GEL.
It has the fewest ingredients of anything I have ever come across. The other day, a girl came into my store asking what I sold her the last time she came in and when I asked her to describe the product, her mouth hung open and she said "It was......the most natural thing I've ever felt in my life." I never used to have strong feelings about lube but this lube, girl, oh my god, everyone needs some in their life, it is so fucking great. Do you know what I do with Vie lube? I use it if I remove a tampon that isn't totally saturated. And IT'S LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED. I have no words for Vie lube VIE LUUUUUUUUUBE
@Porn Peddler SWEEET; I will get some ASAP. Thanks!
I think Sliquid feels pretty natural, but so many ingredients, and so much irritation. I was really sad to realize I can't use it because so many others feel tacky and not-natural. So, yay!
I saw a woman on the train with one of the 'Fifty Shades' sequels in actual paperback! The courage!
@Porn Peddler Andrew Bird! (Did you see him recently? I saw him two weeks ago so I think he is touring the east coast area?) And if you like him you have to listen to Owen Pallett, who does a similar kind of violin-looping thing but is, if possible, slightly weirder.
@Porn Peddler: I saw Andrew Bird in April! Such a great show.
gah I have not seen him. I just started listening to him this week actually and oh my god! He does not appear to be eastcoasting it for the rest of this tour :(
@Porn Peddler Did you write a post about 50 Shades? I am all about reading stuff that dissects it in the this is not helpful/realistic because x way.
@dale I am having trouble corralling MY FEELS well enough to write a coherent post.
I have no fucking words for how horrible that book is, oh my god. And it has caused some beautiful sights to unfold in my store but ohhhhhhhhh my god, why not just get women reading straight up police reports? SO HOT
@billie_crusoe I have super sensitive lady parts (and my skin reacts terribly to everything) and Sliquid Silver has been the only only thing that has ever worked for me. Because it's silicone based it lasts forever which is important to me because whenever I tried water based lubes I had to reapply them constantly and it was a pain (even the good ones, all the bad reviews I heard for Vie lube had to do with how often you need to reapply it but YMMV). Also it's gentle, doesn't cause any bad reactions/infections/ickyness and feels really slick and nice, and a tiny bottle lasted me for 6 months of sex every day (I'm kind of obsessed with it, I recommend it to all my friends). But if you don't like/can't use silicone lube go with Porn Peddler's recommendation for Vie lube, it's supposed to feel extremely natural.
@Sea Ermine Vie makes silicone liquid as well :)
@Porn Peddler I have a lube question that wasn't covered in you lube post but I figured you'd know because all of your comments make you seem super knowledgable. Anyhow, what is the best way to wash off silicone lube without soap? Because everywhere I read it just says use gentle soap and water but my lady parts are crazy sensitive and I can only use water in, on, or near them. This applies even to super gentle soap and baby wipes and whatnot. The only lube that works for me is a silicone lube and usually I just rinse with water and leave it at that but I'm not the biggest fan of the slick feeling that lasts for a bit afterwards. Should I just ignore it and wait it out? My main concern is that it is somehow bad (just because I'm so used to putting things in my vagina and having an adverse reaction) even though I know that silicone is inert and shouldn't cause problems/react with my pH/contribute to anything bad. What do you think?
@Porn Peddler Intriguing! I've only tried the water based one but next time I run out of Sliquid I might have to experiment since I've heard such good things about it.
@Sea Ermine Is it true that the silicone liquid contains glycerin? The FAQ on their website was a little confusing it said that the glycerin free liquid is the ultra sensitive water based one but then on the ingredients list for the silicone it doesn't mention glycerin. Do you know if the ingredients listed on the individual product pages are the full lists? I kind of want to order some since my long distance boyfriend is visiting next week and I thought it would be a good time to try a new lube but I don't want to get it if it has glycerin since I don't react well to that (plus if the list on the product page is accurate then it has the same ingredients as the lube I already use and so there isn't much point). Sorry for all the questions I just have a lot of lube related concerns.
@Sea Ermine All my toys are silicone :( But maybe I will try it when I have a ladyfriend again and am less reliant on toys :P
@Sea Ermine 1. Yeah, gonna have to wait that out. Soap in the vagina is never a good plan. 2. No, the liquid silicone does not contain glycerin. Just the water based liquids.
@Porn Peddler Thanks! I ordered it just now and crossing my fingers that it's as awesome as I'm hoping : )
@Sea Ermine Mine are crossed for you! (I'd hate for my recommendation to fall flat. I love love love the ultrasensitive liquid so much)
@Porn Peddler I am so torn about 50 Shades. It sounds terrible, but I feel like as a kinky person who does education to newcomers to kink, I should read it so I can debunk it. But I do not want to give her money. This is what the library is for, I guess.
Also, ooh, natural feeling lube! I do not really like lube, generally speaking, but there are times it is necessary and thus finding a really good one would be nice (And then taking it to the GYN and saying "can you please use this instead of the gross stuff you use that I hate?" because I feel like "can you please not use lube for my pap" won't go over well)
@Blushingflwr don't bother, it will make you angry.
I'm all for getting people into BDSM, but, ugh... this book/series is fucking stupid. I read parts and wanted to throw it out a window. My most seriously vanilla (whatever! do you!) friend read it, and it piqued her interest, so I showed her my most tame bondage gear and she got thoroughly upset/judgey. Also, some guy tried to hit on me saying "You seem like you're a 50 Shades of Grey kind of girl" because I was wearing all black, ugh. I have lots of Feelings about this.
@dale I finished my post. And my boss posted something 50-shades related on our facebook and will be reviewing my website this week so I don't want to post it just yet because it is, naturally, really negative.
@Blushingflwr I kind of felt the same way. I flipped through it and I wanted to scream. It is so so so horrible. I know I could not get through it.
@dale but I want to share so much. My boss will not appreciate my sharing, however.
1. THE WRITING IS SO BAD.
2. HOW DID IT GET PUBLISHED.
3. HOW IS IT POPULAR WHEN THE WRITING IS SO BAD.
HEY HAIRPIN this is ridiculous but y'all are the only people I trust enough. I was moved to write some porn today. So when I'm done with that y'all get to read it and tell me if it is horrible which it probably is (I think i'll put it on an unlinked page on my site and just give y'all the link.) WEEEEE!
@Porn Peddler Congratulations, how wonderful (for real!) Please link us, I would like to read. And you peddle porn all day/everyday so it's gonna be great, shut up.
@Porn Peddler YAY PORN. I can't wait to read it!
HERE YOU GO, PINNERS: Dirty story 4 uuuuu
The password is " hairpin ", natch.
Has anyone read the article about how much better Maeve Binchy would have been if she had been a mother? Let's all read it and be angry together.
@VDRE I haven't even read it yet but it's already made me angry! *Shakes fist*
@Sugar Kane's Hip Flask WHAT THE FUCK I read the tag 'Does a female novelist need to have experienced motherhood to truly understand human emotions?' and my mouth gaped open and a steam poured out of my ears and then I can't even scroll down because I will break something.
'female novelist' SO THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM FOR MALE NOVELISTS?! Ahhh, woosa.
@adorable-eggplant Of course not, after all, "there is no practical difference between a man and a woman writer when the latter has not had children."
@VDRE I just finished reading an incredible, pulitzer prize winning novel by Anne Tyler (Breathing Lessons, 1988). On the back inside cover there was a New York Times quote that read something like... "One of the most promising WOMEN novelists of our time!"
@VDRE Except that the woman author still only gets 75¢ on the dollar?
@adorable-eggplant That article was the worst. Ugh. Get your act together literary world (and er, the world in general): women make just as good (and bad) writers as men do. Actually, I read an article in Elle last year written by an author who says she prefers to write male narrators because she feels that they are taken more seriously. That made me several levels of sad.
I have been mostly Hairpin-absent the last week, it is weird!
So I have a guy friend and a girl friend who, on paper, are super compatible, but in real life seem to be kind of oil-and-watery, as far as I can tell, except there is this mysterious extra thing in which they are constantly talking to each other anyway and always mentioning how bad for each other they would be. Without prompting. How high are the odds, do you think, that I have a "this is actually sexual tension" thing going on in my periphery?
@Scandyhoovian It's sexual tension! It is! They can't stop talking about each other! That's what it is!
On that note are you one of those people that can sense sexual tension between friends? Because I've always been able to -- even between people who I don't even know have compatible sexual orientation! But I am a little more unsure in regards to me, haha.
@Scandyhoovian The highest. Like, I just jumped off a skyscraper made from those odds and it was so high that I exploded from hitting terminal velocity halfway down.
@Scandyhoovian They are toooootally into each other and kinda hate it but kinda like how they hate it, and they are trying to feel you out to see if there is a more objective reason that effin' and jeffin' would be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea.
@Scandyhoovian if this were a sitcom, every episode preview during sweeps weeks would be about them almost kissing or getting locked in a closet together or walking in on each other naked.
@Scandyhoovian They're totally gonna do it.
There's probably like ONE THING that's incompatible. He doesn't like the way she smells or she doesn't think his idea of romantic is romantic or whatever--and it just frustrates them so much that they talk about it all the time, half-hoping to work through it.
They'll probably bone if they both remain single.
@all Damn, a sweeping consensus. Surprise, surprise! I feel like they each have a bunch of little peeves about each other and they're just trying to make them into ENORMOUS THINGS to keep from having to admit what is there.
I moved today! Phew. I should be unpacking right now, but I just can't.
@Lily Rowan Holy shit, lady, drink a gallon of water and then have a beer.
@anachronistique I have done both of those things! And I bought Gatorade for the movers, who did the actual work.
Man, I'm working on this huge project by myself and trying to do my best, but I don't know when I'm beating myself up or when I'm motivating myself. It's also the first time I'm doing something like this! And I have a ton of goodwill wishers, which just put the pressure on. Oh well.
UGH I forgot to post this earlier...is anyone still here?!?
I just really wanted to solicit recommendations for new music and new music blogs. My itunes library has gotten STALE...somehow i have 4000 tracks with nothing to listen to? Does anyone have great, go-to music/culture blogs that they consult for inspiration? Historically I'm into all sorts of electronica and hip hop; more recently, lots of pop - both indie and mainstream. Thoughts, y'all? PLEASE
@odd number Electronica: try Baths.
Rap: Azealia Banks (I really enjoy her) and Childish Gambino have both recently released mix tapes.
Good pop: any Girls Aloud, really.
@odd number Also, if you just want to sample, NPR Music has amazeballs features like free streaming albums (they had the new Passion Pit before it went on sale, and it was damn fine work music!) National Public Radio: Not Just Dour Foreign Correspondents Anymore!
I fux with Nah Right and Rap Radar. They have pretty good stuff and some overlap but Nah Right has dumb grudges with some artists that Rap Radar does not.
@odd number Have you checked out the new Frank Ocean album. I'm digging it.
@odd number I've recently rediscovered 90s Britpop and want to recommend the Gene album "Olympian" and remind everyone of Elastica's self-titled release. The former would be great for anyone who loves The Smiths/Morrissey. The latter is just, like, essential. See also: The London Suede -- self-titled album "Suede" and "Coming Up" are in heavy rotation with me right now.
@odd number If you're lazy like I am, you should sign up for the Million Dollar Deli (http://cargocollective.com/themilliondollardeli). I don't know what the deal with their site being under construction is, but if you subscribe to the newsletter you get a monthly download link to a zip file full of music, a lot of which is electronic-y.
@odd number Said the Gramophone is a really good music blog - mostly pop, mostly indie, but almost always good.
@odd number For electronica, if you've got the time, I would just go to Boomkat and sort all their releases by date - their UI is super intuitive and you can browse through and listen to samples until you find stuff that sounds exciting. It's how I've amassed such a horrific amount of music in the last ~3 years (my ipod's creeping up to capacity at about 17,000 tracks, and that's maybe half my library).
In terms of actual blogs, FACT magazine (not an actual magazine) and XLR8R are both frequently updated.
re: hip hop, download http://www.thefader.com/2012/04/18/stream-le1fs-dark-york-mixtape/
Try the new discover feature on Bandcamp. It's a great way to just flip through new music.
@all A belated thank you to everyone! I'm SO excited to check this stuff out!
@odd number to sneak one last one in: chickswithhitsmix.com -- especially the second one! it is 90s ladies mash-up and i have been listening to it while working out!
Due to my building's fire alarm going off last night I only got three hours sleep. Two large coffees and a nap later and I still feel like somebody took out my brain and put it in backwards. Also, how the hell is it August already? That means I have to go back home soon and start school again and I'm nervous and the fact that I'm nervous is making me worry and agh, vicious circle!
I am so excited! I just finished booking flights and room(through airbnb) for a trip to Seattle in September!! I thought for a while that my boyfriend was going to go without me and I was bummed, but I get to go along! I've never been to Seattle so, yay! I hope it doesn't rain too much. We want to intersperse the massive partying with some touristy stuff, what's good? Space Needle?
@queenieliz Yay! I love the northwest. I have spent more time in Oregon than Seattle, sadly, but if you have the time to get out to the ocean, do! I love how you can see Rainier when you fly into Seattle. So pretty!
@queenieliz The Experience Music Project is a pretty neat rock and roll museum with the opportunity to play with mixing tracks and drum sets and see Jimi Hendrix lyrics on napkins. They also have a Lusty Lady (employee own strip club). It was a novelty as a freshman in college. That was also where, also as a freshman in college, I was first called a feminist in a (slightly misguided but) complimentary manner. I didn't know I was one yet! Otherwise Seattle is full of piers, beers and brunch.
@billie_crusoe my understanding is that in the past his trips to Seattle have included a visit to Vashon Island, which looking at a map I see is in the bay(?) I don't know if we will be able to get as far as the actual coast. I wish we had more time, vacations are always too short! I have a dear friend in Beaverton who I'd love to visit, but it's a long drive....it'd be a whole day. :-/
@LaLoba it's gonna be all about ALL OF THE BEERS for sure! I'm thinking of cutting back between now and this trip, because we are sure to over indulge to an disgusting degree!
@LaLoba Sadly, the Lusty is gone. We do still have the EMP, though.
@queenieliz Do visit Pike Place Market. Consider riding the Ducks and taking the Underground Tour. We have a new waterfront Ferris wheel! So, maybe you want to do that. We also have the King Tut Exhibit in town until the beginning of next year. Otherwise, walk, explore, eat all the foods because so many of them are awesome. We have really nice parks and bars. September is usually a really good time to come - you'll have a blast!
@Snicker-snack! The Lusty is gone, gasp!!
@queenieliz The Space Needle is neat, but kind of pricey. I think it's $19 just to take the elevator up! Never been to the Experience Music Project, but I've heard it's super cool (and...also pricey.) I would suggest going on a tour of one of the microbreweries. When in September will you be in Seattle? There's also an Oktoberfest festival from September 21-23.
@i make lists ugh...$19 elevator ride? We can just look at it from the parking lot! We are arriving the 27th, we'll just miss the Oktoberfest...bummer. We'll have three full days (arriving early Thursday)and enough time on Sunday before we fly back that we won't have to stress about getting to the airport (btw...the airport is really far away!) I wish we had more time. I'm going to go into vacation commandant mode and keep us moving all the time (even though BF would like to lounge at bars most of the time...)
@queenieliz Do the Underground Tour! That is my favorite touristy thing to do in Seattle. And visit the Fremont Troll.
London pinners! I'm off to your fair city in the next few weeks, and I had a burning question (well, this is my MOST burningest of questions.) Where do you do yoga? Preferably a studio that's not filled with juiceboxes but offers hot and regular classes? Anything?
I'm not doing shit today but watching the Olympics! I'm at my parents' house, my dog is sleepy, I went to my first ever Union campaign party last night, I bought vegetables earlier, I ate ice cream, I'm watching the goddamn olympics all day! Q: Is it not dangerous for weight lifters to strain to lift things that are too heavy for them? I get nervous watching!
@LaLoba Ha I just liked my own lazy lazy comment like a baller
@LaLoba Yes, yes it is! I saw something yesterday about a guy (possibly from South Korea?) who dislocated his elbow and I kid you not, the author of the article used the phrase, "You see that muffin-shaped lump on his arm?"
Hey, Portland 'Pinners: there was a recent book club meeting, right? Was there a new book selected for the next one? I want to start coming but I don't use Facebook.
@Elsajeni Portand Pinners what! I'm one but I don't know nothin' about it! Portland Oregon yeah?
There was! It's always the last Sunday of the month at Liberty Glass at 6PM. But some regulars have scheduling problems with next month so we might make an exception for August. The new book is In Cold Blood by Truman Capote.
I don't have FB either, so I have to get information from other people about what's going on there. I'll try to remember to post reminders here on Fridays. Definitely remind me if I don't, though!
@LaLoba The Hairpin Portland Facebook group is here!
So I have to buy you some coke now? All I got is Molly...
Something 'bout Mary, she gone off that Molly
Now the whole party is melting like Dali
Now everybody is movin' they body
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT SONG YET!
It's not my fault you have weird rules!
But yeah, that was kind of mean of me to do... it was too tempting not to!
It's not my fault you don't know how to experience art properly...
@Reginal T. Squirge Cool! That's something I've wanted to read for a while but never gotten around to. And thanks!
@Elsajeni @Reginal T. Squirge @LaLoba @Elsajeni Portland Pinners! Soon I shall be one of you! My boyfriend and I are moving, together, over the course of these next two months (probably? he'll definitely be there by the end of September anyway). He's so excited, and I'm excited/scared. Please reassure me that it will be awesome and totally okay!
@JustAPaperBag Oh it will be! Where are you moving from? Portland is a really fun city with so much neat stuff going on and so many parks.
@LaLoba We're moving from Phoenix, Arizona. I have always wanted to relocate to the Pacific Northwest, but this ended up being a very sudden thing. Under any other circumstance I would be super psyched, because I have heard only good things, but with it being so fast, and the fact that the circumstances are creating a lot of wait-and-see, I'm kind of freaked.
Back in CO on vacation! I agreed on a road trip to Portland w/ my dad and brother starting tomorrow, but my brother appears to have relapsed into his pill addiction, so we're either not going or my dad is going to be on edge for the entirety of the trip. Not really looking forward to this, except that we're bound to see some gorgeous scenery.
On the bright side, my application to a better MPA program went through, and as much as I love NYC, coming back to CO has only made me miss home more. I'm spending as much time in the mountains as I can. Also! My cat. He is much larger now (and killing birds, when he gets out) but he is just as personable as ever, never as aloof as cats usually get.
I also saw my best friend when I got home. I angst over my feelings for her a lot when we're apart, but when we're together I wonder what my problem is. The sort of reciprocal adoration we share is the best sustenance, it invigorates me, but we don't need to be together in that way to have it, nor do I think she's the only person with whom I can feel that. I just haven't met anyone else who loves me the way she does, and I wonder if I will. She was under the impression I had come back permanently and when I corrected her she took on this look of anguish. I told her I would come back.
Some non-mutual friends have been trying to convince me that she's manipulating me, or deliberately soaking up my romantic energy with no intention of returning it, but I've been used before and this is nothing like that. I know that's not terribly convincing, but... The difference is in how it makes me feel. It makes me feel healthy and normal seeing her, like I'm not a barely contained mess.
In the meantime I'm spending way too much money on records - I came back to my collection (lucky enough to have space in my parents' house to keep it) and while I understand why I stopped, it's nice to have a passion that leaves its own record.*
I missed last week's Astoria pinup and it looks like I'll miss this weekend's as well. I went to see The Queen of Versailles with... Justonegal, I think it was? Am I remembering that correctly? Anyway, good film! Anxiety-causing, at least when topic of money is coming up in your family all of a sudden. I was hoping to see a better turnout!
*No pun intended
My boyfriend doesn't discipline his dog and babys him way too much. He lets the dog bark at people and other dogs and just pets him like it's no big deal. We can't bring the dog anywhere because the dog has anxiety and we won't know how he'll react. We can't sit on the couch without the dog jumping on us every two minutes, the dogs whines outside his bedroom door while we're having sex, it won't stay in the backseat when we're in the car....
The dog hasn't gotten a little better since I told my boyfriend he needed to start disciplining him and setting boundaries and I do love the dog (it's not the dogs fault), but I can't help being annoyed!
Also, my boyfriend has anxiety and it's affecting our relationship and it's making it hard for me to feel like I really know him all that well, but that's a whole other can of worms.
Ahhhh...I want to scream sometimes!
@Slutface Doggy classes! They teach the dogs how to be social and also train the owner how to act around their dog. It's fun/healthy for everyone!
@Nutellaface The dog's been to doggy classes and my bf even worked in an animal shelter. He just doesn't follow through on the discipline because he feels bad or something? I don't know.
@Reginal T. Squirge TSST? The Sister Sister Theme?
@Slutface Can you guys afford obedience classes? Maybe it's something you could pitch as a group activity. It would really pay off even to learn a few methods for controlling the dogs behavior. Also I've noticed that dogs tend to be happier when they're well trained anyway, it makes them feel like they know their place in the pack I guess. When we got a dog when I was a kid we used some book called "The Family Dog" to help train her so there's probably a lot of good literature out there if classes won't work.
@Slutface Oh I gotcha. My fiance's family was the same with their dog, so the thing was a total pain in the ass. It's hard to convince someone that dogs are happier when they have rules and boundaries, but it's true! Maybe show him this thread?
"Never knew how much I missed ya!"
No, for real, though: "Oh my god… BITE SIZE SNICKERS?! That's it! I'm calling Child Protective Services!"
@boysplz Yeah, like I said upthread, he's done that already. Maybe the dog needs a refresher course? I don't know. I just don't want to waste the money on it if my bf is only going to discipline him when I'm around (which I have a sneaking suspicion he does). We bought the dog a Thundershirt but it's too soon to tell if it's working.
@Slutface Ugh my dog still somehow figures out when I am having sex even if she is outside of the room and barks at the door. It is ... intrusive. I often keep time consuming treats (like a hollow bone with a bit of peanut butter in the middle, half-frozen, or a plastic bottle with some little biscuits inside) on hand, and if I think she might be disruptive to my private time I throw a couple in the backyard for her to keep her busy for a while. It's a good temporary solution plus it starts giving pup the idea that when the door is closed, she can occupy herself elsewhere. And it will not add lack of pleasant sex to the list of stress and frustrations you are experiencing. After pleasant sex the rest of the problems will be easier to solve! I am cracking myself up with the phrase, "pleasant sex" !
@LaLoba We did the peanut butter in the bone thing the other night and it helped. I mean, my boyfriend is trying so maybe I just need to be more patient. What else can I do really? It's not my dog you know? I think I just needed to vent because my boyfriend is actually kind of embarrassed about it. Thanks for listening everyone!
@Slutface I'm super anxious about my dog with my new fellow because he's not a dog person, so his lack of love and understanding makes me horribly nervous that he will lose patience and that translates to me having less control over the dog anyway! Also, my previous boyfriend was there when I got the dog, so even though he wasn't a big dog fella either at least he understood that she was a goddamn train wreck when I found her and that I helped curtail her behavior and mold her into a better citizen a lot. New fella doesn't have the same perspective, only seeing the less than current, energetic, loud, prone to pushiness collie shepherd living on a street where WAY too many people walk by all the time. I get self conscious and overly sensitive about it.
@Slutface 1. Crate training. Though it sounds like your boyfriend will probably think it's mean. But they actually like it, and it's not cruel if you get the proper size. My dog likes having his space where he can go to nap or whatever, and he doesn't really have anxiety. It really could help.
2. I think you should find a trainer who will come in and work one on one and give your boyfriend some real talk. It sounds like he really needs it.
I'm in the middle of my first day of the Blueprint Cleanse. I already caved and had a quarter of an avocado and an Odwalla bar. I'm now trying to drink juice #4, which is cayenne lemonade. It burns like fire. I COULD HAVE BOUGHT SO MANY PIZZAS WITH THAT MONEY. I AM SO HUNGRY.
@Nutellaface WHY? WHY? step away from the fancy juice and go have some sushi! (I'm sorry, I'm not very supportive)
@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside SUSHI SOUNDS SO GOOD RIGHT NOW but DAMN this shiz was expensive.
@Nutellaface I AM HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF.
@Nutellaface darlin', you need to get some chips from your pantry. then grate some cheese. put that shit on a cookie sheet, pop it in the oven for about 10 minutes, and BOOM. NACHOS.
I'm just going to sit over here, enabling.
Maybe you can do the Blueprint cleanse once a day? Like Slimfast, only with spendy juice!
Or have a salad! And laugh laugh laugh.
Everybody was so great when I was here before to talk about quitting smoking, so I thought I'd ask for some advice again. I'm 5 weeks smoke free now (woo) and I just started Step 2 of my nicotine patches. I'm doing pretty ok, but I am running out of new and exciting things to chew on. So far I have chewed on:
-So, so much gum
-Enough baby carrots that I will probably be orange soon
Any other suggestions? (Ugh. I want a cigarette so bad you guys)
@Awesome Sauce My great grandpa turned orange from too many carrots! CONGRATS on 5 weeks, you are AWESOME. Have you thought of...and this is a little weird...but have you thought of maybe a teething ring for babies? They have a nice gummy, springy texture that's nice to nom.
@Awesome Sauce I was a big fan of tea tree oil chew sticks for a while-- they're minty/cinnamony toothpicks!
@Nutellaface Thanks :) I have totally thought about that. There are a lot of babies where I work, and I am jealous that they get convenient things to chew. My husband would laugh at me, but oh well. He quit also but is strangely content with straws.
@Porn Peddler Flavored toothpicks sound good - I wonder if they come in flavors that aren't tea tree?
Edit: They do! So far I have found: bacon, cotton candy and maple varieties of flavored toothpicks. Bacon!
The entrails of your enemies?
@Awesome Sauce OH! Get a bag of gummi bears (sugar-free if you're worried about the number of them you'll likely eat) and put them in the fridge, then chew on those. They're also nice to nom.
@Awesome Sauce Chewiest things I've ever encountered: cold Milk Duds. They will get stuck in your teeth for days and you'll be messing with them so much you won't have time to think about anything else.
@Porn Peddler 2nding tee tree oil sticks! I still chew them when I go out sometimes. They freshen your breath and generally feel like a badass.
Also, cinnamon sticks are about the same size as cigarettes with the added bonus of being tasty.
Pistachios in the shell? Like a cold Milk Dud, they take a lot of mouth manipulation. Also you can spit shells, which is aaaaww-some.
Congratulations on quitting :)
I'M SORRY I HAVE TO BRING THIS UP but has anyone read this article http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/27/2012-olympics-volleyball-bikinis_n_1709148.html#slide=1288545
On the scandal of swimsuit and volleyball? I don't want to think about any of it at all, or beach volleyball at all for that matter, but the comments on this one are sooo far beyond that I'm getting kind of wigged out and hysterical (BECAUSE I AM WOMAN) laughy over them. This is my favorite:
"every woman posting on this article aginst the bikinis are most likely jealous they dont have the nice body that attracts men!...that is the only reason they are offended! Same reason women become feminists!...They typically are butt ugly!"
They typically are butt ugly! Exclamation! Point! There's an exclamation at the end of this sentence! And This one! And THIS ONE! They typically are butt ugly!! Funniest thing I have heard all day. Having spent the day in my house. Watching sports.
@LaLoba this is why we don't read comments on any other site except the 'Pin.
@Lady_Terminator I know, I know, Never read the comments, never read the comments. But that one was just too ridiculous to even make me upset.
@LaLoba There's a guy down the road from my bestie who has a bumper sticker that says, "How come all the women who voted for the [Wisconsin gubernatorial] recall are so ugly?"
@LaLoba Also I wish more men were naked on TV.
Also! Does anyone have tips for preparing your own food on a road trip? Like, beyond deli meat in a cooler.
@Danzig! You must have a coleman propane stove, then everything is possible.
@Danzig! Deli meat in a cooler is the best! Second best? Hard cheeses and walnuts and other hike across the Alps style nourishment. Smoked fish and cream cheese (if you do decided to bring along that cooler) are also pretty nice.
I'm great at camp food! if you have a camp stove or make a fire, make an aluminum packet full of potatoes, veggies, and (optionally) meat. splash some olive oil in there, fold it up, and let it cook until it smells to good to resist any longer!
@Danzig! how much of a road trip are we talking? I suggest cold drinks, XXTRA FLAMING HOT CHEETOS, and Haribos. I'm going to die of an ulcer, but take my advice anyway.
@ginalouise 1,250 miles, give or take, between CO and OR, depending on the route we take. Cold drinks are a must, and if nothing else I'm getting some good hot sauce for the sandwiches.
@LaLoba / @The Kendragon that sounds real good! But I don't think we'll be camping and a portable stove is not on the table :(
@adorable-eggplant Excellent suggestions!
@Danzig! Hummus and blue corn tortilla chips!
@Danzig! This might slow your roadtrip down but I would pack deli meat sandwiches and then when you run out (especially if this is roadtrip that takes longer than 2 days) pull off the highway and go to a grocery store and go to the prepared foods section and pick up a days worth of things like coleslaw and potato salad and fresh bread and more deli meat. That way you don't have to pack tons of food and can pick up fresh things like fruits while you're in the store (or at one of those roadside fruit stands).
Also, I don't know where you are staying if you have to stop and sleep but when I went from Delaware to Savannah my boyfriend and I parked the car at those Flying J/Pilot type places and slept in the back of the car. That way you don't have to pay for a hotel and they usually have restaurants, showers ($8 shower so I showered in the parking lot with a washcloth and a spray bottle filled with water and dr bronners), bathrooms, and sometimes wifi. And it's free to park and you're surrounded by other cars so you're not in the middle of nowhere.
@Danzig! Okay. You can always use them at rest stops too though, so just remember for the future! My propane stove is one of my most prized possessions. Cheeses plus crackers and peanut butter plus crackers plus butter toffee peanuts are pretty solid. Dried papaya! Also try and get some carrot sticks or oranges in that cooler because after a day or so of eating nuts, cooler sandwiches and crackers you will always crave something juicy and fresh.
@Sea Ermine / @LaLoba I am taking notes!
@Danzig! One time I drove from Austin TX to Charleston SC armed with only a gallon of homemade sauerkraut! I basically could have powered the car myself...
Also just refill water bottles at rest stops, that way you don't get soda'd out. Hydration is key!
@Danzig! Kill a bear, make your own pemmican. Fish for trout. Rob hitchhikers for spare change and buy those peanut-cheese sandwiches at rest stops with the proceeds.
(Otherwise, peanut butter, bread, apples and hard cheese like cheddar will get you a very long way if you're a spartan type. Maybe some cans of mandarin oranges to fight scurvy. Although it's fruit season and you could just hit farm stands along the way for fruit and veg.)
@Danzig! If you decide to do the sleep at a truck stop thing the flying j and pilot websites (or at least one of them) has a thing where you can put in your start and finish locations and you can see where they are along the way for if you don't have gps/can't look it up while on the road. Also if you bring one of those jugs of water is is useful for both hydration and showering.
@Danzig! I would live in my truck if I could!
@Danzig! I am super late to this party, but make some kind of hearty salad (pasta salad, or couscous/chickpea salad, potato salad) and store in your cooler. Toss some forks in the car and just eat out the container.
Goin to the country bar tonight!! YEEHAW
@lora.bee Flirt with a cowboy for me, dahlin'
@The Kendragon I'm on it.
@lora.bee I was JUST thinking about you and wondering how you are! Have so much fun tonight, y'all.
@vanillawaif Oh man, that warms my heart! The country bar actually fell through :( But everything is going really good. I hope you are doing good too! <3
I AM TEACHING MY DOG TO SWIM!
I have the biggest, most athletic, outdoorsy dog, except for one thing: TERRIFIED of water. BUT I think he is getting better. I've been taking him hiking in the Missoula Montana area, and have been swimming/wading every possible river and creek, and he's getting to the point where he follows with almost no hesitation and will even go into water that he has to swim in! (just a month ago, he refused to get his paws wet.)
I feel bad exploiting his fear of being separated from me, but I've been rewarding him like crazy and making sure I'm always close enough to help if he gets in a bad spot
Oh, and he is SO good with my parent's kitties! The three indoor ones want nothing to do with him, and he backs off immediately when they hiss.
The little seven pound barn cat is afraid of nothing, LOVES him, and will twine around his legs and butt her head into his nose when he bends down to say hi. I came around the corner the other day to see her blissfully curled up against his belly, kneading his belly fur with her paws as he slept in the sun. it's so cute to see my 60 lb dog with this teeny tiny kitty!
@The Kendragon: Send photos of interspecies snorgling immediately!
This is COMPLETELY random but did anyone play Castle of the Winds back in the day??? I just bonded with an awesome coworker over that game, I have never met anyone else who knew what it was!
Um YES. Although I never got farther than the second village! That game was INTENSE. You could use up all your mana! And try to have a deep sleep! And then be woken up by a CHIMERA and you still have NO MANA.
I also remember needing to have learned teleportation for the second castle, and how interesting that was for a game (because usually games drop huge hints as to what you need to know), and also naming all of my armor cool stuff in reference to books I was writing/reading.
I am always SO. LATE. to the open thread. Argh work on Fridays (also, I have not been able to watch any of the Olympics). Anyway, I'd like some input by you ladies.
My bf wants to leave for a month which I am totally fine with. I want him to be a cool person who does cool things. The only problem is he has a cat and a dog which have caused some points of contention between us in the past. Since I've moved in with him he wants me to share responsibly for the cat and the dog and treat them like "our" pets. Except I don't feel like their my pets, just his, and I only help him out with them because I love him. Back to him being away for a month, he has this expectation like I'll take care of the pets for the entire time he's gone. And basically I'm thinking there is no way that is going to happen. I'm in school and I have killer bike commute that I cannot do more than once a day. I don't think there is any way I'm going to be able to come home on time most days to feed/walk them. And I don't have any particular affection for them so I'm not inclined to go super out of my way to do this. I think we should just kennel them while he is away. Is this totally wrong line of thinking?
@Weasley No. It's a totally responsible line of thinking, because you are recognizing that you cannot care for them as well as you would like and you are proposing a way of making sure they do get that care. If he's worried that kennels aren't safe/caring enough (vs. if he's just being presumptuous and assuming you'll do it), then do you have a non-grad school friend who can take them?
@Weasley Well, it's not a wrong line of thinking, but recognize that since kennels are pretty expensive, that may mean that the requirement for that prices him out of being able to go away. However, you could make him pay for a dogwalker/cat feeder for that month, which would likely be much cheaper and maybe an okay compromise?
@Weasley I have a friend that does house sitting and pet sitting in your area! Let me know if you want me to get her rates. :)
Thanks so much you guys! I don't know why I didn't think of just getting a dog walker but that's a great idea.
That would be fantastic. I'm new enough to the the Hairpin commenting system that I don't know if there is a PM function. Is there? Because I'll PM you my email address.
No PMs, but you can reach me at oceanna.kolb at the gmails.
'Pinners! Tell me your failed kitchen stories. I just accidentally used self-rising flour in muffins, and let the batter sit while the oven was cooling to the right temperature, and... now I have some banana goo in the bottoms of the tin and tough muffin on the oven floor. Woo! Also the other muffins I made are crumbly. Bahhhh.
I was making seared ahi and the oil on the fillet caught fire. I grabbed the skillet with an oven mit and rushed it out onto the patio. I just let it sit there and burn out. It was pretty funny especially since I just took the smoke detector down because it was too touchy.
@billie_crusoe One time I got in the shower while I was broiling some pita points (was so tired) and they caught on fire. I heard the alarm and ran out soapy and naked to put it out, but didn't want to discharge the fire extinguisher, so I dumped a bag of flour in the bottom of the oven. It didn't put out the fire.
@billie_crusoe Once my mom was trying to make these really good double-chocolate-chip cookies and didn't realize until they were baking that she forgot to add the sugar. They did not taste good. Or look good. Or set up. Or succeed in any way as cookies, really.
Once I was making a vodka sauce for pasta and got too excited while pouring in the vodka. Using my mother's gas stove. Anyway, the vodka slopped over the side and lit the entire pan of sauce on fire. I screamed and freaked out and my dad wandered over and clapped the lid on the flaming pan and told me to stop being insane.
Once I was mixing up a hot-water cake which involves mixing a half-stick of butter with boiling water, and the bowl got away from me and the hot greasy butter water splattered all over me and the kitchen and it was a HUGE GIGANTIC pain in the ass to clean up. It was awful.
@billie_crusoe I set the kitchen carpet on fire boiling a hot dog when I was 9. My dad, who was doing the dishes, turned around when I yelped and WHOMP put the fire out by stomping it with one size 13 enslippered foot.
And once last year I discovered why Martha Stewart's creamy soup recipes all say "fill blender halfway." Potato-leek all over the walls, floor, cabinets, and because of the way I was standing and my tank top, all over my right boob, which was red for three days afterward. At least it didn't blister.
Oh, and a former high school teacher once invited me over for dinner, then tried to thicken her spaghetti sauce with flour (whaaaat?) and accidentally used confectioner's sugar instead. Then later I made her laugh so hard she wet her pants (not related to cooking).
Oh man, so you know how you can substitute a little bit of apple sauce for veg/canola oil in baked goods? Well now I know it's only a little bit!
Once I subbed pretty much all the oil with apple sauce when I was making red velvet cupcakes...and they came out with this super weird, jello-like consistency. Easily the worst thing I have ever baked. They were edible, but so disgusting.
@mirah I thought the sub was applesauce for eggs? I didn't know it worked for oil too.
Once in high school a friend and I were trying to make this thing called "Daisy Cake". Just a meringue but the yolks are added in in such a way that they make daisy/flower shapes in the cake. But neither of us knew what "stiff peaks" meant at the time. When we took it out of the oven we discovered that it bounced when dropped on the floor.
It usually does, but I think you can only sub 1/4 cup to 1/3 cup max.
The health vs. taste benefits are debatable.
@billie_crusoe I made a red velvet cake and there was this weird dent at the bottom of the mixing bowl. Apparently there is a technique to scoop out of that whole to mix properly but my dad didn't tell me so the baking soda and vinegar and something else collected in the hole into this weird lump. That lump spread out into a lot of tiny spots when I poured it in the cake pan so when it came out of the oven there were these weird dark spots all over the cake of just vinegary baking soda lumps and it was so gross.
@billie_crusoe Lo these many years ago, I made a pound cake. Was using a wooden spoon to scrape down the sides of the mixing bowl and the spoon got stuck in the beaters. Splintered. I picked out the biggest pieces and carried on. I don't recall eating it, think I might have fessed to Mom and she tossed it.
(I had a LONG history of baking/kitchen disasters before I got my own kitchen and things finally clicked.)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher if that was a deliberate Clone High reference, I love you forever.
@slutberry Sorry to disappoint, I've never seen it! But now I want to--not sure what part of my post could be referenced in it, but I am INTRIGUED.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher "Lo, these many years"
I still love you.
@billie_crusoe This one is my mom's, but it's one of my favorite kitchen disaster stories. When I was little, she was making homemade spaghetti sauce in her crock pot. She eyed the recipe critically and figured it was just a waste of time to boil the spaghetti noodles separately and then mix them with the sauce before serving. Why not toss the noodles into the crock pot with everything else? (I hope you're laughing as hard as I am right now.) Predictably, it was an unholy disaster. The whole pot was one congealed bird's nest, just completely inedible. I'm pretty sure we just ordered a pizza.
@billie_crusoe Once my friend from Finnish class and I wanted to show off and make pulla (traditional Finnish coffee-time bread/pastry) for the class coffee break. We'd never made pulla before, though I had mastered challah, which I would often bring to class, prompting a lot of "this is good! Is this pulla? It looks like pulla, but really big!Is it Karelian or something?" So I was cocky about our prospects, since pulla are like small challah with cardamom and sugar...except they're not, because our pulla were so hard and dense and inedible that they could actually be used as doorstops. Fortunately, my friend's mother was in town, and just happened to have some frozen pulla dough from my friend's Finnish grandmother, so we just defrosted it and made up some perfectly awesome pulla for class out of that dough. I took some of the doorstop pulla home to my husband to show him how awful they were, and he insisted chivalrously on eating some even though I warned him about their doorstop qualities. After a while he said tentatively that he really liked them and they were delicious but that he'd have to stop now because his jaw was hurting. I've actually mastered a lot of other Finnish baked goods(I'm not Finnish myself, just obsessed), but pulla still eludes me.
@slutberry Drat, I was hoping they had a spatula-splintering storyline.
(I still love you as well!)
@billie_crusoe Once I was toasting cumin seeds in oil in a pan (this is a big mistake! Smitten Kitchen I love you, but no one should ever toast seeds in oil!), and my friend showed up partway through. When I came back from letting her in, I pulled the lid off, and a COLUMN OF FIRE shot out of the pan. I didn't have the presence of mind to just put the dang lid back on, or grab some baking soda, but my friend had just finished doing a fire safety course, so she very expertly put it out with the kitchen fire extinguisher, which resulted in the ENTIRE kitchen smelling terrible and being coated in a fine layer of green-grey grit. We ordered Thai food instead and spend the evening hiding in the back yard eating it. When my parents came back, they were Not Impressed.
@Cat named Virtute Oh! I know about cooking cumin seeds in oil!
You want to heat the oil up and then take it OFF the heat and THEN put in your seeds. They will toast just right before the oil cools down! If for some reason your oil cools down too much before you get the seeds in, hold the pan ABOVE a hot burner, instead of placing it directly on a hot burner. YAY cooking seeds in oil! Because seriously, that is the best way to get your oil to taste like spices!
@slutberry Oooh, good to know! The SK instructions were not super thorough, and I let myself get distracted, so it was just kind of a disaster. Now I dry toast, but I'll keep your technique in mind for when I want flavoured oil too.
I threw flour on a grease fire instead of baking soda. Then attempted to smother it with a pot lid but the lid was too small so I had to grab a bigger lid and put that over the other lid, which trapped the small lid in a raging grease fire oven and melted it onto the burner.
... tequila is a hell of a drug.
I need to make a rude and probably unpopular comment:
I intensely dislike the Williams sisters.
(That is all.)
@Xanthophyllippa ME TOO.
It feels so good to say that out loud.
@Xanthophyllippa I don't necessary dislike them (good for them, being sisters and playing tennis and whatnot...that's their thing, right?), but I am intensely disinterested in them. You know who else I'm intensely disinterested in? The Jenner sisters. I recently learned who they were, and I was horrified that they're becoming a thing. Or already a thing?
@trappedinabay I had to google them. Ugh. At least the Williams sisters have their own accomplishments that make them famous.
My job fucked me out of overtime after working 6 days last week and im SUPER temped to up and quit BUT my date last sunday was excellent (MAKEOUTS) and we're getting brunch sunday morning!!!!
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood @wee_ramekin they are the best.
I missed the Boston Hairpin Book Club for a movie audition (small film, a friend of mine wrote the script). I really hope I get the part, but either way it'll be awesome hanging out with those dudes some more. Afterwards a bunch of them were all, "You were awesome!" and told me I definitely have a role, just not sure which one yet.
@Nutmeg I hope you get the part! Fingers crossed!
I also missed book club due to having neck spasms and it starting at eight last night. Sorry, guys! Also due to mail mishaps my copy of Phantom Tollbooth was not delivered until today, which sucks, because it is signed and I wanted to show it off.
@Nutmeg I missed it due to having my commuter rail pass expire. I HOPE YOU GET THE PART YOU'LL BE AWESOME IN IT I BET
guys we need to to another meet up i miss you fools.
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood That would be awesome (just noticed I used that word twice up top I am so articulate)
@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood If nothing else, my birthday's in a few weeks and BIRTHDAY BEERS with Pinners would be a great way to celebrate.
I am in California visiting family, but I'm basically ready to go home now. Time differences between me and my Gentleman suck, and I miss him, Alot. But I will be here another week. And he is not picking up his phone. :(
@slutberry Time differences in relationships are The Worst, I feel you! So hard to figure out the best time to call or text when you're several hours off! The good thing is, it is short-lived, so stay strong and have a great time keeping busy with your family, I'm sure that he misses you, too. Good luck! :-)
I knew Gabby Douglas would be awesome when I watched the qualifiers and I was like OMG this girl is in SHAPE.
Also, it turns out I might have friends after all!
@Inkling Yeah, I went to Central Perk with Phoebe and Joey, it was awesome!
No but in all seriousness, my friends have been mostly... away for a while (not always physically), and then after days/weeks of not hearing from them, I would get a text or something. Yay! I hadn't been completely forgotten! Plus I got to spend some time with a friend whose work schedule is usually way different from mine, so we never see each other.
You guys! I just found a stray cat's owner!
They're technically not reunited yet because she's out of town, but he's here waiting!
My heart is happy.
@NeverOddOrEven Awww, yay for the cat, and yay for you for doing that.
@NeverOddOrEven Yay!!! That's so awesome.
so...I'm watching Indiana Jones and making teriyaki with the girl from last week tomorrow night. we've hung out twice since then. :D
also I bought a new bed and it is LITERALLY THE BEST THING EVER, even if I did accidentally purchase it from my ex-girlfriend. (Dammit, Craigslist! --though it was her roommate's old bed, not hers, and she basically never slept on it? er, the roommate, not my ex. idk.) It was much less awkward than I thought it would be, which helps!
@Jenn@twitter maybe you can break it in tonight (if you're into that)
@robyn.andrews I'm definitely thinking about it. :3
@Jenn@twitter amazing. I hope it is going/went well!!
This morning I bought raw milk and now I am having it in my tea. It is good, but not the life-changing experience of which the internet speaks. No angel choruses, and the large bruises I got from falling down the other day remain purpley-yellow and unhealed.
Is this because I normally drink full-fat and therefore the delta is not so significant as if I was comparing to skim? Or is this a greatness that sneaks up on you? Will I perhaps never fall down again?
@EvilAuntiePeril I love raw milk, and notice the difference most when I am drinking it straight - but also, not all raw milks are created equal? I'm sure it's all about what the cows are eating, what season it is, what breed of cow, but I enjoyed the raw Jersey milk I had in Maine much more than the stuff I'm getting in the midwest. I never thought of is as a panacea, but just Good, good tasting and good for me (live food, etc. etc.)
@liverwortlaura You are probably right about the cows... And truly, it was nice - just not as big a wow as when i went from skimmed to full-fat milk. And of course the small part of me that believes life should be like a Saturday morning cartoon is always disappointed by the lack of "ka-pow! here is your miracle!" when it comes to this sort of thing.
I'm in an experiments-with-food mood it seems, as I've also just bought some chia seeds. They're on the counter right now, where I occasionally peek at them shiftily. I think part of me expects them to jump out of the bag and start doing formation dances when I'm not looking.
@EvilAuntiePeril the first time i had the jersey milk in maine, i think maybe it had separated out a bit because it really felt like drinking a cup of melted ice cream. it was fantastic. i hope you enjoy your chia seeds! they freak me out a little, but they are a little exciting...
So I'm super excited about signing up for a pin pal. Every time I open my email i think "is this it? Did I get matched up yet?" Even though I know it won't be this soon. I hope my pin pal doesn't think I'm too weird.
@Pyxis I just signed up as well, and am anxiously awaiting to hear about who I'm matched with! I've lurked on this site for quite a while, and I decided to plunge in with commenting and pin pals. I also worry my pin pal will think I'm weird, but I'm excited to actually correspond with pen and paper, I don't think I've written a letter since summer camp!
ugh. this week exhausted me for so many reasons, some of which are laughably trivial, and some of which are still laughably trivial in the grand scheme of things. BUT! I am now in Montreal feeling major nostalgia for my university city, had a blast at osheaga yesterday and now want to go to all the festivals, and feeling super relieved that we took a break today to wash away some dirt and stuff.
90% chance of lightning and thunderstorms tomorrow guys! wooooooo~
JESS ENNIS and that is all.
@missupright seriously. did you bawl? I bawled.
ER. MAH. GERD.
Went swimming at the river and this obnoxious but kinda gorgeous guy gave me a garter snake. I think he expected me to freak out. I was like "bitch, please. I hold snakes everyday at work." I was also like "KENDRAGON. You have a boyfriend now. Do not flirt. Do not flirt. Do not flirt. Ok. Flirt. Just a little though."
@The Kendragon Do not Flirt! But my favorite thing when I worked at a summer day camp was when the teenage boys would hand me garter snakes to try to freak me out. Why? Garter snakes are adorable!
@The Kendragon But damn it is fun to flirt! I'm way better at flirting than being a girlfriend, I should be a full time flirter.
@LaLoba I'm a good girlfriend. I just have been a highly successful full time flirter for so long that it's hard to dial it back and remember that I AM a girlfriend!
@flanhoodles they are! I like putting them in the water and freaking guys out. snakes=creepier when swimming.
I need a recommendation for a weird sex documentary. Help!
@flanhoodles The girl who's over requested that. I'm Harpinning from the bathroom! Heeeeeelllllpppp!
@flanhoodles Oh shit! I don't have one! Does she know one?? Why did she request it? Maybe something historical? Maybe just watch the Catherine the Great movie with Marlene Dietrich?
@LaLoba we're watching "This Film is Not Yet Rated".
Some friends said I will enjoy this site, and by the looks of it I think I will. Hi everyone!
Has anyone else read Edith's article on Cosmo in today's NYT mag? It's great! Goooo Edith!!
I am definitely FEUDING WITH NEIGHBORS. It is less soap opera-y and more people driving quickly at me or brandishing this stupid knife. If I die, just tell 48 Hours it was probably that awful person up the street.
@Inkling WHAT? Are you at your new place? Please don't die.
THEY TRIED TO TAKE MY ALEX.
It made me realize that all the shit in my room is worthless and Alex is the only thing. But also the cops showing up to Mellow Mushroom cost me my job I think.
@Inkling Who is Alex? Cat/dog/other pet? If so HORRIBLE.
Yeah, my cat who I've had for 11 years who I love.
This girl kept coopless chickens in our yard. I moved in after 2 months of them being there like "Hey, either get them a coop or move them or give them to us" because I was bringing in my kitty and I didn't want crazy dogs in the yard (that had happened).
One day the chickens were gone, and this girl+knife comes to my house and screams at my roommate YOU STOLE MY CHICKENS. She brought the cops over, and they also came to see me at work. (Now I'm not on the schedule!)
The chickens were found by me across the street in a parkinglot. Animal Control picked them up and said they'd inform the girl. Girl and boyfriend did some stuff todaaay--stare us down at the pool, steal our fountain, play with knives and stare at my roommate, drive really fast at us down an alley, and then SHE AND HER MOTHER came to my yard and tried to steal my cat.
My roommate's little sister scared them off and there's a lot of people in the house. Everyone is really mad and it's making me ~emotional~.
Oh and if anyone is ready to break out their surprised face, the cops could not be more worthless.
We called them when she was trying to take Alex, they drove off. They returned to their house, we call the cops again. Cops don't know why they had to come back.
Does she have to be stealing my cat while the cops are there or what? What the hell.
@Inkling Oh man. Is there a lease? Can you just move? Not that you should be run out of your own home, but it sounds like no one is being useful (and obviously the neighbors are unstable), if the cops would come to your work but not come when you called. I am not surprised the cops sucked, but grrrr anyway.
And can you talk to your supervisor at work and explain and maybe get back on the schedule? Because that is bullshit.
THEY GOT EVICTED.
I HAVE THE BEST LANDLORD.
He was just like "Oh? Let me call you back!" and then "I have no desire to continue a relationship with that tenant, and he has 30 days to completely evacuate my property!"
@Inkling YAYYYYYYY! Keep an extra close eye on Alex, and your other things, in the meantime. BUT YAY!
It may be an exercise in futility to solicit opinions in a FOT on Sunday night, but maybe there are some 'Pinners still lurking here, I hope?
Last night I went to a family wedding with my parents and older brother (he's 34). We hung out most of the evening with my uncle and his family, including a cousin who turned 21 earlier this year, and her roommate, also 21. About three weeks ago we were all at another family wedding together, and I got somewhat illuminated and had a fun time dancing with my cousin and her roommate. Last night, however, my brother was the illuminated one and he proceeded to dance with and hang on the 21-year-old roommate for most of the evening, culminating in the typical grinding-and-groping that one would see at a dance club but in the setting of a family wedding with my parents watching, and the cherry on top was that this girl laid a big kiss on him at the end of the night.
I was the DD last night and watched most of this sober. As I was driving my drunk brother home, he was texting and answering calls from the roommate, at which time I couldn't hold my tongue and asked if he realized that he has no business talking to this girl. He drunkenly acknowledged that he got that, but proceeded to spend the rest of the one hour drive texting this girl, and on the phone he promised to come visit her (she and my cousin live about two hours away).
Because I couldn't stop fuming about it last night when I got home, I texted him: "P.S. You were a teenager the year she was born" and his response was "And???". He was still drunk at the time, but I assume this means he doesn't see anything wrong with pursuing a 21-year-old girl, when he is 12 years older than she is, recently divorced with two kids, plus this girl is my cousin's roommate and I think it's pretty insensitive of him to hit on the roommate considering this would not be a serious dating thing and would put my cousin in a tricky position. It was awkward for my cousin and her parents to even watch that going on last night, but maybe they could wave it away due to the level of drunkenness of all parties. However, if this becomes a thing between them, I just need to know if I'm being really unreasonable or uptight and this is NBD, or if others would have objections similar to mine.
Please advise. If I need to chill out/back off, I'll try harder. I know I can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do, but I just want to know if I'm taking too hard a stance on this.
@Wrecking Ball Gown Your brother was being gross, but I dunno what you can really do about it other than praying the roommate either comes to her senses in the harsh light of day/sobriety/your cousin tells her he has kids and she is like HELLS NO.
@Megano! I was just thinking that my response to his text last night could've been "It's gross", so thanks for that. Ordinarily I agree that the roommate may come to her senses, but before drinking commenced last night we were discussing his kids, their ages, etc. so she's fully aware. Maybe she will still have a HELLS NO moment though, especially if she realizes it could make my cousin feel weird.
@Wrecking Ball Gown. Def. agree with Megano! on this one. I have hooked up with randos at weddings, but they, and I, knew that's what it was. I have never had any desire to actually get to know them. By the harsh light of day your brother, or the roommate, will realize this. I hope.
@Wrecking Ball Gown
I'm going to throw it out there that I don't think this a problem situation at all. The roommate and your brother are both adults, who cares if your brother is a 12 years older? It's not like she's a teenager now and it sounds like she's fully informed on what his situation is. And I guess I don't see where you explain how you know that this roommate doesn't know that this is just hookup potential? And then who is to say it will just stay as hook up? I think you should just keep out of it and let two consenting adults do what they'll do.
@Weasley Thanks for your analysis. I actually am staying out of it -- as I said, I know I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do, i.e. stop talking to her. If this ends up being more than just one drunk night, I'm uncomfortable with it, but if I'm overreacting, then I need to be able to temper what I say to him about it (if anything) while I work through being uncomfortable with it.
He leaned on me a lot during the divorce and the aftermath, and he's not in a great place self-esteem-wise right now (he has wondered aloud whether he'll ever find anyone to date again). I would guess having a 21-year-old go after him is probably a big ego boost, but having seen his previous relationships I can't imagine that this has serious potential.
@Wrecking Ball Gown GAH, typical overthinking. Maybe I should worry about this once I actually see what's going to happen.
@Weasley Agreed. I don't think this is A Situation at all. Sure it isn't the classiest thing to pick up a woman right in front of his / your parents, but eh... He's recently divorced and doesn't really sound like he's planning to take her out to ice cream with the kids next week, right?
Let him have his semi-sleazy fun imo. I don't know what your relationship with him is like, but something tells me that he doesn't look to you to audit his love life usually, so why get on his case about the one hookup that you saw him have.
Now if he spends the next 5 years macking on a succession of 21-year-olds, you might have a case there.
Hay guyz, it's actually Monday, technically, but I wrote something dirty and y'all get to see it: caramely-caramely-porny-porn!
The password is hairpin, natch.
@Porn Peddler Mmmm. Excuse me, I'll be in my bunk.
(It was hot and not-cheesy! Success!)
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