Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Terrible Playdates


Sara Lautman lives and draws in Oakland. Her blog is here and everything else is at www.saralautman.com.

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Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

me at 13 trying to get my first 'girlfriend' and her sisters to play Dungeons & Dragons despite myself not knowing how to play either


looooooooooooooooove !!!@n


6 reminds me of me and a friend playing in my basement when one of us looks up: "HELL is underground."

"WE are underground."

*stare of terror*

*run upstairs*


@redheaded&crazie it happened last week and i've still got the willies!


@redheaded&crazie haha "the willies".

D. Von Trapp@twitter

"At one point I remember we got in a huddle and walked down the hall to the bathroom that way" = my heart is warmed and delighted for I'd guess at least two hours.


6 must have happened at every slumber party or night time party that I went to until I was out of middle school.


@Statham "Middle school"=freshman year of college. Yeah, I'm awesome.

fondue with cheddar

@Statham They probably happened at every slumber party of mine because my dad always told us the Jersey Devil story and our house backed up to woods. And we lived in NJ, obviously.

Reginal T. Squirge

And those demons are called offspring.

The Lady of Shalott

Oh my God there is nothing I hate more than No. 1. "Are you hungry?" "Are you?" "I am if you are." It just drives me completely around the bend.


@The Lady of Shalott I never experienced this.
I just used to say "I'm hungry". (a beat) "Why are you still standing there? Where is the pantry? Do you have chips?"


@TARDIStime Later we'd move on the "Fear of Death" event of the evening.
Mostly, though, this was a school camp thing.
My favourite was when we were too old for it and would do this in a semi-ironic way in early high school. There was this one time, though, after we all watched Shaun of the Dead... I never knew that being scared shitless and laughing hysterically was a thing that could happen on Earth.


Aw, stink house. I think my house was probably stink house growing up.


@frigwiggin Me too! "Uh, we can't go to my house ... want to go for a walk or something?"

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@frigwiggin ME TOO.

mine was actually the house that my unemployed parent wouldn't allow me to bring friends home to unannounced. because, you know, if we just walked in after school there was a decent chance he would be sitting at home, shirtless in pj pants, just reading the paper or whatever.

ugggghhhh this is so much more awful thinking about it now, because DAD, school gets out AT THE SAME TIME EVERY DAY, could you really not have been ready for this? (i lived roughly 5 blocks from both my middle school and high school, so he took away the most convenient after-school house in my friend circles.)


@frigwiggin My BFF's house growing up was the stink house. We were bff from kindergarten to 2nd year of high school, and never once was I allowed to set foot in their house. No one was outside of their family. I know it was the stink house because 1) you could smell it from the yard (they had upwards of 20 cats, pet birds that flew loose in the house, and various and sundry hamsters and guinea pigs), and 2) when said bff was in elementary school SHE smelled like the stinky house. That part was especially sad. It got resolved when some teachers had a talk with her parents, but for a while no one wanted to be near her.

Reginal T. Squirge

I love these more every time a new one is posted, btw.

Especially #5 above. That one is brilliant.

Regina Phalange

Aw, man! I was such a weird, nerdy little kid, and from an early age, I could tell that my family was a little eccentric. So I treated playdates like anthropology sessions - "Does your mom count potatoes as a vegetable?"; observing standards of closet organization; etc.

I'd like to say it made me a more observant person, but that it patently untrue. I am still weirdly intrigued by other people's daily routines, though ("Do you floss before or after you brush?" "Do you pack your lunch at night or in the morning?" etc.)


@Regina Phalange Ok, now I need to know: is flossing after you brush a thing? I always always floss before!


@Kate Croy A dentist once told me always to floss after you brush, because then the leftover toothpaste fluoride gets in between your teeth and helps kill more bad bacteria. So I now I mercilessly enforce this rule in my house.

Porn Peddler

@Kate Croy I floss after I brush. Then mouthwash!


@Bittersweet @Porn Peddler Dang. Maybe I'll shake up my routine tonight.

Regina Phalange

@Kate Croy See what I mean? *I* always heard to floss THEN brush, so you could brush away any floss detritus. But @Bittersweet's way makes sense, too! Crazy world, you guys.


@Kate Croy I didn't know flossing before you brushed was a thing until just now! I thought everyone flossed after (well OK, I rarely floss, but when I do it's always after). I love that the hairpin teaches us these details of others' lives.


the important thing here is to FLOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

for the love of god people FLOSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

wish i had a time machine and could go back and tell myself that 10 years ago.


@redheaded&crazie spoken like a true old person


@Regina Phalange When I go to the dentist for a cleaning, they always floss after the nifty toothbrush thingie. So I always assumed that was the natural order of things - brush, then floss. My mind is blown at the idea of flossing before brushing!


@redheaded&crazie I floss everyday. At one point in my life, I would have thought that excessive, but a few crowns and untold fillings have shown me the error of my ways. Besides, even flossing that frequently still yields plenty of debris; clearly I shoulda been doing this all along.

New Commenter Name

@Kate Croy
I floss before! Now reading all this, I don't know.... I still don't think I could change the order. Flossing first, THEN brushing, that's the way it has to be for me. And I do it every single night.


@Regina Phalange Not that I am a dentist, but I do work for one! We definitely tell our patients to floss after brushing. Clean your teeth, then get to the bits in between your toothbrush didn't reach and rinse out with your alcohol free mouthwash/water after you're all done.


7. Your best friend convinces you to watch "Dances With Wolves." You sulk because it is totally boring. Friend attempts to break you out of your sulk by (lightly!) throwing plastic fruit at you. You leave basement, icily tell friend's mother that you "would like to be taken home now." Go home, explain situation to mom. Mom sighs.


@Kate Croy I need you to tell me all the details of your upbringing so I can have kids who will do this. Will they be popular? Possibly not, but they will be awesome.


@EternalFootwoman Inculcate in them a strong aversion to Kevin Costner and plastic fruit!

Rachel Milligan@twitter

OH my god shirt that says Wildwood!!!!!


The weird power plays! I had a friend who was the kind of kid who's parents told her, "You're an only child becuase we got it right the first time!" Everytime she invited me over, everything was a power play. She would claim that her mother had told her that only she could eat *special treat or whatever*, she would insist that everyone except her was required to wear socks at all times, she would FREAK OUT if you suggested a different game than she wanted to play. Oh! And she once slapped me at another friend's sleepover because she didn't want to play video games.

I still don't know why we were friends.


@OhShesArtsy My kindergarten best friend ("best friend") had two rules. 1) when we were at her house, it was her house so she got to decide what we would do. 2) when were were at my house, she was the guest so she got to decide what we would do. Apparently I was a pushover as a kindergartener.


@OhShesArtsy Isn't it weird when you think back on elementary school friends, and you just think, "Wow, that person was awful"? I think it's generally due to proximity.

My super liar friend (who also had the stinky house) was just a terrible friend. My mom knew this, but continued to let me play with her. Whyyyy, Mom??


@meetapossum I think a lot of it had to do with us going to the same church and same school, we saw each other a lot even during the Summer between school, Sunday School, and church camps.

We are still good term aquaintances, I guess. We're Facebook friends and if she happened to run into me and invite me out for coffe I wouldn't feel right saying no. She's still REALLY self-obsessed, though.



@meetapossum God, I have a 7 year old and I will tell you right now this is so true. She has a friend who drives my husband and I craaazzzzyyy nuts with her rudeness and her demands and her general high maintenance-ness, but she's at our house all the time because she's nearby and we're good friends with her parents.


I scared the bejeezus out of a friend's little sister playing bloody mary in the bathroom in the dark. She was so upset, her mom called my mom to let us know I was no longer welcome there for spreading such deviltry and terror in their home.


1st grade, telling my friend as I was leaving her house that maybe next time she will be as good as me. My mom never let me live it down...


I love the art in these. Cancun Tshirt! Pony on the dresser! Huge kid heads!

Princess Gigglyfart

I love this. It is perfectly true.

{I was the stink house kid too.}


How about the playdate where you play Survivor Barbie, where the Barbies run from a sociopathic Ken who, when he catches them, dismembers them in various gruesome ways until all the Barbies are buried in various parts of your friend's property? And the next day you dig them up and start over again?

No? Just me?


Ok, laten we een voorbeeld nemen. Hoe om snel gewicht te verliezen tip # 12: houden van een maaltijd diarymany mensen realiseren zich niet hoeveel calorieen ze verbruiken elke dag. proteinedieet zonder zakjes  Je weet wel wat ik bedoel: het soort programma dat "een snelle gemakkelijke manier om gewicht te verminderen", belooft. Hopelijk de bovenstaande tips zullen u helpen zoeken naar manieren om snel gewicht te verliezen.

JapeMethe Jgj@facebook

Oh my God there is nothing I hate more than No. 1. "Are you hungry?" "Are you?" "I am if you are." It just drives me completely around the bend. obat sipilis


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