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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

328

Scandals of Classic Hollywood: Warren Beatty Thinks This Song Is About Him

Warren Beatty wasn’t your typical handsome. There was something earnest about him — something plaintive, needy — that made women want to protect him. And, of course, sleep with him. And if you know anything about Warren Beatty, it’s probably that he’s rumored to have slept with 13,000 women over the last 75 years. I call bullshit on that math, but womanizing has nevertheless become Beatty’s defining characteristic. His sister famously said he “couldn’t even commit to dinner.” Woody Allen once asked to be reincarnated as his fingertips.

But here’s the thing: for all his flirtatiousness, for all his storied ability to romance over the phone, for all his “What’s Up Pussycat”-ing, Beatty was also one of the most important figures in film over the last 50 years. He was demanding, he was irritating, he wasn’t always a good actor, but he might have been brilliant. And that — along with the prodigious womanizing — is what I’m going to remember him for today.

I’m talking about Beatty in the past tense, but he’s very much alive — in fact, he’s the first subject of this series who's still alive, despite beginning his career at just about the same time as Paul Newman and Natalie Wood. But he hasn’t made a film since 2001 (let’s not talk about it) and seems rather retired. He, along with Shirley MacLaine (his sister), Jane Fonda, and a handful of other stars, still signify the “Silver Age” of Hollywood, when the studios, caught in freefall, allowed a handful of experimental, untested directors with names like Coppola, Scorsese, and Polanski to make inexpensive yet exquisite masterpieces.

The story of Beatty’s career is the story of the last 50 years of Hollywood: his first work was in television, he moved to films made in the last gasp of the studio era, and finally found success by putting together film packages (story, script, producer, director, and stars — of some iteration thereof — included) and selling them to the studios. He grew up in Virginia, the son of educators and baby brother to Shirley, enjoying things that kids of teachers generally do: reading and playing the piano. But something changes when he reaches high school — he’s elected class president, plays football like a pro, and is, essentially, big man on campus. He’s known as “Mad Dog.” Despite offers from several schools to play football, he goes to Northwestern to study drama. How very Finn Hudson of you, Warren.

But drama school doesn’t stick, and after a year, Beatty moves to New York City, where his sister is acting on Broadway. He takes some acting classes with Stella Adler, a.k.a. the American promulgator of The Method. To make rent, he works all sorts of standard starving-actor jobs: bricklayer, dishwasher, and, my personal favorite, cocktail lounge piano player.

So picture this: Beatty. In New York. In the 1950s. Kids trained in the Method are blowing up all over the place — Brando in Streetcar, Clift in A Place in the Sun, James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause, Paul Newman in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Beatty clearly saw what his life — and talent — could look like. But he couldn’t seem to land the right auditions, and spent time languishing in bit parts on various “anthology” television series, the ‘50s version of Masterpiece Theater meets network television.

During this period, he also hooked up with Joan Collins. Now, if your memory of Joan Collins is anything like mine — which is to say filled with shoulder pads and ‘80s power suits — then you need to replace that memory with this one:

Girl was a minx. A minx with a contract with 20th Century Fox, which wanted to pit her against Elizabeth Taylor. Collins was getting roles, Beatty was not, but they were head-over-heels for each other — and apparently having a tremendous amount of sex. They became engaged in late 1958, moving to a teensy apartment in the Chateau Marmont.

Beatty may have been a romantic, but he also understood the benefits of a demi-star as a fiancee. He finagled a part in playwright William Inge’s A Loss of Roses. Inge was gay and apparently had a thing for Beatty; Beatty, already resourceful, played that thing into an audition for director Elia Kazan’s latest production, for which Inge had written the script.

That production was a little something called Splendor in the Grass. Beatty won the part of Bud Stamper, a small-town middle-American teen with, well, urges for his girlfriend, played by Natalie Wood in her comeback role. (I love it when 23-year-olds have “comebacks.”) I’ve written about this film (and Wood in it) elsewhere, but it must be said again: IT IS A MARVEL. A hysterical, yearning, roll-on-the ground marvel. The French translated it into Fever in the Blood. That’s what I’m talking about.

Sidenote: I bought my best friend the poster for her birthday, and now it’s framed in the guest bedroom where I’m currently lazing through my Seattle summer, and I wake up every morning and read the text on the side and get chills.

And I look at the image below and suddenly it’s wide-eyed and scary and dangerous indeed.

Now, Collins and Beatty were still engaged, but Collins was off shooting elsewhere, and as Beatty’s star rose, his need for an engagement seemingly fell. Or, who knows, they might have just figured out they had irreconcilable sleep schedules, or that only one of them liked black licorice. A planned wedding was called off just in time for the hoopla surrounding Splendor in the Grass, and its pile of Golden Globe and Academy Award nominations, to crest. Oh, and for a hot relationship with co-star Natalie Wood to develop, all RPattz and KStew-style. Their relationship apparently apes that of their onscreen characters in Splendor, all rollercoastery and emotional, although I bet they actually had sex instead of going crazy and/or becoming poor.

Wood and Beatty attend the Oscars arm-in-arm, surrounded by cameras, and when Wood loses Best Actress to Sophia Loren, gossip maven Hedda Hopper exclaimed “Natalie Wood was robbed! But at least she got the nicest consolation prize — Warren Beatty.”

Around this time, Beatty began to establish the beginnings of his image as a fresh-faced womanizer. Already, there’s something about the way he looked at women, and the way that women blossomed under his gaze. You see it here, when he’s pretty much the hottest man ever to wear glasses:

And again here, when Photoplay tries its best to insinuate that Beatty has a huge package:

Beatty was all sorts of visible, and he appeared in three high profile projects before the end of 1963. The problem, then, was that all three of these films — The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone, All Fall Down, and Lilith, director Robert Rossen’s last film — were disappointments. Lilith has aged well, and was underestimated at the time, but Beatty was increasingly frustrated with his inability to make good on the promise of his turn in Splendor. He would barrage directors with questions, growing increasingly frustrated with their lack of decision or direction. He was spending his star capital, and it would run out soon.

His obsession with knowing everything that was happening — everywhere, all the time — grew. After much back and forth that reminds me much too keenly of my sophomore year in college, Beatty and Wood broke up, sparking a string of one night stands on his part — seldom for sex so much as for connections.

What’s fascinating is how Beatty combined the masculine prowess associated with promiscuity, yet used it the way that we usually think of women and sex in Hollywood: to get ahead. He slept with co-stars, slept with producers, and when a female critic panned Lilith, he purportedly slept with her, too.

After some testing of the waters, Beatty was linked to Leslie Caron — she of An American in Paris and Gigi Kewpie-doll fame. Caron was married to Peter Hall, the director of the Royal Shakespeare Company, with whom she had two small children. But Beatty was no (legitimate) home-wrecker: Caron and Hall’s marriage had been long-strained, with both of them living apart to pursue their respective ambitions. As Hall himself admitted, “by 1962, there wasn’t much left but resentment.”

Caron in full Gigi mode.

Caron was six years older, a mother of two, and Beatty was apparently totally smitten. According to Caron, “he was a very sensitive, private person and not really comfortable in a crowd — but he played the part of a playboy movie star conscientiously, as if it were an acting job.” And he was horribly insecure: he allegedly once woke Caron at 5 a.m., worried that “You’re sleeping. You’re not thinking of me.”

Not 5 a.m.

Which is another way of saying that Beatty was essentially becoming The Worst. He had become increasingly frustrated with his backseat role as leading man, and as his films continued to lose money, it seemed clear that audiences didn’t want to see Beatty onscreen. It was almost as if they were wary of him, or only wanted to think about him, not actually see him — otherwise how can you explain the fact that no one went to go see the clearly awesome Mickey One?

Comedian targeted by the mob? American attempt at nouvelle vague? Warren Beatty in a role intended for Lenny Bruce? Supposedly Polish? Surrealism meets trampolines?!? This film is disaster, but it’s a beautiful disaster, even if Beatty himself admitted that it was “unnecessarily obscure,” which is kind of how I describe 95% of MA thesis topics.

Somewhere around this time, Beatty began to develop an amazing ability with the phone. Meaning he was constantly on it — but not in the annoying, always-be-closing stockbroker sort of way. More the purring, sex-on-the-line sorta way. He’d wake up, day or night, and get on the phone, and call everyone he knew, starting each conversation (with a woman) with “What’s new Pussycat?”

Various people in Hollywood figured out this was happening, that it was awesome/farcical, and producer Charles Feldman started working with Beatty to develop a film quasi-based on Beatty’s philandering lifestyle. The title, natch, would be What’s New Pussycat? To help flesh out the script, direct, and take a supporting role, the two hired an unknown talent by the name of Woody Allen.

What’s New Pussycat seemed to be Beatty’s way to show that he had a sense of humor — and reactivate his star image in a way that wasn’t just sleeping with famous women. But Beatty sent Feldman dozens of telegrams questioning every detail of the production — we’re talking a teenage texting level of telegrams — that drove the producer batty. They disagreed about casting, about the direction of the plot, about characterization ... and, worst of all, Allen was making his own character more and more crucial to the film, effectively giving Beatty second billing in his own production.

The whole thing is so Woody Allen I can’t even stand it. Then, the final straw: a gossip column claims that Caron has been cast in the lead — which Feldman archly opposed. Feldman becomes convinced that Beatty is trying to outmaneouver him and boxes him out of the production. The movie, featuring Beatty’s own f-ing catchphrase, proceeds forward — with Peter O'Toole in the lead. It makes a fair amount of money. But Allen “hates every frame.” The experience so burns both Allen and Beatty that from that point forward, they essentially won’t let another person touch their work.

Enter Bonnie and Clyde. Or, rather, enter the build-up to Bonnie and Clyde.

Caron and Beatty are hanging out in London, and Beatty hears that Francois Truffaut, he of The 400 Blows and Jules et Jim and, you know, all of those other French masterpieces, has an adaptation of Fahrenheit 451 in the works. Caron sets up a meeting for her overanxious boyfriend and Truffaut, but Truffaut says no way, mon ami, but maybe you want to develop this other gangster thing? It’s called Bonnie and Clyde, give it a shot, you and your girlfriend can play the leads.

Beatty dithers over buying the script, thinking that Westerns are washed up — the stuff of television and B-movies. But Caron tells him to stop being a doofus: it’s a gangster movie, stupid. Beatty buys the script for $75,000, but tells Caron that she’s too French to play Bonnie. He wants Bob Dylan for Clyde. Maybe his sister for Bonnie? But then he decides that he wants to play Clyde, which means that his sister TOTALLY CANNOT PLAY BONNIE.

He offers it to (still good friend) Natalie Wood, but she turns it down. So did every other female star in Hollywood: Jane Fonda, Ann-Margaret, Sharon Tate, the list goes on. In the end, it was Arthur Penn, who Beatty had wrangled to direct, who discovered Faye Dunaway on the stage. She was Bonnie; Bonnie was her. The rest is history.

Now, when was the last time you saw this film? Was it in my college film history course? Was it with your dad sometime in high school? Whenever it was, it was too long ago. Because this film is perfect.

I would show you a clip, but all that’s really available is this masterpiece montage set to Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life” and this one of Jay-Z and Beyonce going south of the border with bikinis and berets.

But maybe this will entice you?

Or maybe this?

Beatty was in his element: he was controlling the film, and he was playing the role he was destined for — a hapless, affable, cocky schmuck. He was impotent yet charismatic — when you see how Dunaway looks at him in the beginning shots of the film, you understand exactly why she leaves her life to be with a man with little more than a gun. Part of this is acting; part of this stems from the very real fact that unlike every other situation in the last ten years of his life, Beatty didn’t sleep with Dunaway. The frustration is palpable.

Beatty and Dunaway’s performances underline the ennui, oppression, and hopelessness of the summertime in the heat of the Depression. There’s a poetry to this film that has only expanded with age, plus the commentary on the formation of public images, well, as you know, that’s the sort of incisive cultural commentary that AHP loves. I can’t get enough of this film, and while Dunaway, Penn, Gene Hackman, and even Estelle Parsons, the single most annoying film character of the second half of the 20th century, have a lot to do with it, Beatty was its mastermind.

As douchey as the preceding 2,000 words have made Beatty sound, this film — and the courage it took to convincingly portray an impotent man — defined his career. No longer was he Beatty, the man no one wanted to watch: he was the man everyone wanted in everything.

But Bonnie and Clyde almost didn’t even get seen. You can read a lot more about why in Peter Biskind’s various books, but here’s the short version: Warner Bros. agrees to fund and distribute the film, but really doesn’t think much of it. There’s also the matter of the visceral violence at the end of the film, which, despite the existing holes in the Production Code, was still something else altogether. All the major film critics think it’s an abomination, including Bosley Crowther, the old man of the old Grey Lady. Exhibitors are cautious, and it makes next to nothing.

OH BUT WAIT ONE SECOND, because Pauline Kael, then just a staff writer at The New Yorker, writes a rave to end all raves, effectively forcing other critics to reappraise the film or get the hell outta town. “Bonnie and Clyde is the most excitingly American movie since The Manchurian Candidate,” she wrote. “The audience is alive to it.” She was totally right.

The Times fires Crowther for being such a moralizer, and the film goes on to gross $70 million — a truly phenomenal number for 1967, especially given that it was made for $2.5 million. And the story gets even better: because Warner Bros. had put so little stake in the film’s success, they agreed to give Beatty 40% of the film’s profits. That’s some Mel Gibson-Passion of the Christ money right there.

And enough for Beatty to make whatever movie he wanted, with whomever he wanted. For DECADES. That is some serious capital — the kind we haven’t really seen since Gibson’s own flame-out.

But while Gibson chose to use his star capital to entertain the Christian fundamental base, Beatty bided his time. According to lore, he sees Julie Christie, still hot after Doctor Zhivago, meeting the Queen, and falls for her. But Christie was having none of it: “I was always attracted to people who appeared think you were a dross, people who I felt thought I was really stupid and frivolous, and who didn’t give a toss what I looked like.”

In other words, Christie f-ing loved hipster boys. She was engaged to a British artist, and thought Beatty the equivalent of a state school frat boy. But he managed to get her to come to dinner, and surprised her with his intelligence. He stays in the background, biding his time until she outgrows her hipster boyfriend and moves back to L.A. They move in together; have a lot of sex; go full counter-culture. Really just adorable stuff.

The soprano sax! I DIE!

(Did I mention that he broke up with Caron? And slept with several dozen women between her and Christie? Sorry, I was getting bored with listing hook-ups.)

For all his love of Christie, Beatty couldn’t let go of his telephone. When Christie was off shooting elsewhere, he’d pick up the phone. Peter Biskind tells it best:

Never identifying himself on the phone, speaking in a soft, insinuating voice rarely raised about a whisper, flattering in its assumption of intimacy, enormously appealing in its hesitancy and stumbling awkwardness, he asked them where they were, with whom, where they were going next, and would they be sure to call him when they got there. His appetite for control and thirst for information were as voracious as his appetite for sex, and it seemed that inside his head was a GPS indicating the whereabouts of every attractive young woman in Los Angeles.

Maybe because I’m allergic to the phone, I can’t quite understand the appeal. Do you think he’d be today’s version of a good text messager/emailer? The kind who manages to be witty and addictive, who replies just often enough, who can be funny and beguiling and hot and smart all at once? If so, then okay, I’m on it.

Between GPS tracking, Beatty looked for his next project. He could be very, very picky. There was the unfortunate mess of The Only Game in Town, but Beatty was just there to co-star with Elizabeth Taylor. (Lucky You, starring Eric Bana and Drew Barrymore, is a remake of this film. That should tell you what you need to know.) Oh, and $, sometimes referred to as Dollars, with Goldie Hawn, is maybe just as fun as Oceans 11, but with better music. I can’t really tell you; I haven’t seen it since it aired on TBS when I was 10.

Amid this mess, Carly Simon writes “You’re So Vain.” She refuses to reveal who the song is about. Beatty, having dallied with Simon at some point in the past, thinks the song is about him. He calls Simon to thank her. Obviously.

The Only Game in Town and Dollars were relative shitshows, but then there was the melancholy marvel of McCabe & Mrs. Miller. If Beatty had only made this film and Bonnie and Clyde, he’d still be among my favorite stars. He returns to the bumbling, wide-eyed quasi-naif, and watching Julie Christie out-man him at life is just so amazingly pleasing. I forgive him everything. And that last scene! That last, heartbreaking scene! Screw you, Leonard Cohen soundtrack! I’m falling to pieces over here and I’m only watching the trailer!

Plus Julie Christie, HOT DAMN.

Granted, this film might not be for everyone — especially if you are the type of everyone who doesn’t like Robert Altman or genre revisionism — but oh, it is for me. Beatty apparently hated Altman, as someone with the sort of obsessive, questioning personality like Beatty probably would if paired with the nonchalance of a director like Altman. Christie loved Altman. Cue break-up with Christie.

Throw in some Parallax View, a few years off to campaign for George McGovern, and you find yourself at Shampoo, which, along with Burt Reynolds on a bear rug in the pages of Cosmopolitan, is one of the true great cultural artifacts of the 1970s.

Beatty was one of those guys who stays friends with all of his exes. Which is part of how he convinced both Goldie Hawn, a “friend” from his $ days, and Christie to co-star in a movie about a male hairdresser who pretends to be gay ... but is really bedding all the girlfriends and wives in town.

It’s a beautiful farce, and not just because of outfits like this one:

And haircuts like these:

Beatty was, as usual, in full micro-management mode, pissing everyone off and making the director, Hal Ashby, adhere to his vision of the film. (Anecdotal evidence has Ashby high and off in a corner while Beatty actually directs the film.) Once it wrapped, everyone in Hollywood thought it was going to bomb. It was too much, too offensive — when Julie Christie’s character goes “under the table” in the last act of the film (read: starts to give someone a blow job) a full third of the test audience walked out. It was blowing the sexual and political hypocrisy of the Nixon years out of the water, and execs, agents, and others too close to Hollywood didn’t know what to do with it. They were, in part, the ones being satirized.

But the critics loved it. So did everyone else. It was a monster hit, and reinvigorated Beatty’s image. Here was a man playing a manwhore: a hapless, frustrated, confused manwhore who can’t keep his girlfriends, mistresses, and mishaps in order. Beatty satirizing Beatty, or at least the image of Beatty. With a line — “I don’t fuck anyone for money, I do it for fun” — that only further defined him. It’s an underrated performance in an underrated film, and you should probably watch it right now for free via Amazon Prime, if only to see how much you should be mourning Kate Hudson’s recent movie choices. Plus the minidresses, the beautiful minidresses!

And the hairstyling, it really is pretty great. When Beatty tells Christie that he wants to cut her hair, it’s such a gesture of unadulterated affection.

And so things went for the next 20 or so years: a much-belabored film interspersed with new romances. He successfully wooed the Academy with Reds, which I find somewhat tedious and not nearly as revelatory as Bonnie and Clyde, and bombed out big with Ishtar. He spent years on the overkill that was Dick Tracy, started dating Madonna, and looked so incredibly embarrassed in her Sex movie.

In many ways, Beatty and Madonna were a perfect match: both keenly understood how sex intertwined with their respective images, and how to exploit those images in a way that would endure. They were, and remain, survivors. But Madonna’s particular brand of showmanship was a better fit for Beatty circa 1970, and my guess is that, among other things, she might have made him feel old. Or at least undersexed, if that is even possible.

And then there was Bugsy, Annette Bening, an actual marriage, a rather pulseless remake of Love Affair, and four children. With Bullworth, he evidenced that he was not only still a star, but still very much engaged in making smart, incisive satire.

It should be clear that Beatty could be an asshole. Or, perhaps more precisely, a real pain in the ass. Barbara Walters once named him the most difficult man in the world to interview. He could be withholding and cagey, exacting and relentless. But so could Orson Welles, and we remember him for his movies, not his love affairs (of which there were also many).

Beatty was certainly a womanizer, and probably (most likely) a sex addict. So were lots of stars of Classic Hollywood. The difference was that sex became part of his image in a way that it never could for his antecedents. Beatty’s image encapsulated the masculine role in the sexual revolution — the casualness, the sheer proliferation of partners — and the accompanying emotional distance and unsated hunger. In his films, and in interviews, you sense both: the distance, the hunger, and the logical yet absurd conclusion that a life of fulfilled desire was, ultimately, unfulfilling. In subtle, unspoken ways, his image spoke truth to the lie of the American sexual revolution: namely, that free love brings freedom.

I’m not suggesting that Beatty found monogamy and somehow found himself, or even found happiness. (For what it’s worth, he did claim that “for me, the highest level of sexual excitement is in a monogamous relationship.”) Yet the problem with free love in America — and with Beatty’s image in America — is that it grinds against more than 200 years of puritanical sexual conservatism.

Because Beatty’s image is overtly sexual, it must morph grotesque: suddenly he didn’t just have sex with hundreds of women, but thousands. He becomes an object of fascination and repulsion: he’s feminized (manwhore! slut!), made abject. And, as has occurred with so many female stars, the focus is not on his work — which really is staggering — but what his body can and has done. If you watch Shampoo closely, you realize that’s what it’s really about: all Beatty’s character wants is to prove himself, to get out from underneath his condescending boss, to cut a truly beautiful head of hair. But no one will stop fondling his package long enough to let him.

Now, I realize that Beatty was not some exploited female starlet. He did no small amount of exploitation of his own reputation, not to mention women’s affections and his position of power. But the scandal of Beatty’s image is that a man who really just wanted to make beautiful, incisive films, get worthwhile candidates in office, and have a lot of sex along the way is remembered almost exclusively for the last of those three. Sex becomes Beatty.

As for me, I’ll remember Beatty best for his portrayals of sexual frustration — the breathless desire of Splendor in the Grass, the wide-eyed bewilderment at the heart of his Clyde. Sex doesn’t become him; it beguiles him. Fifty years from now, scholars will look back and consider not what Beatty’s image was, but how our twisted reception of it illuminates the hypocrisy at the heart of American sexual values.

Previously: Dorothy Dandridge vs. The World.

 

Anne Helen Petersen is a Doctor of Celebrity Gossip. No, really. You can find evidence (and other writings) here.



328 Comments / Post A Comment

Scandyhoovian

THIS PICTURE *fans self*

Dancercise

ALL OF THE PICTURES

jams

You have beautifully presented your thought in this blog post. I found so many interesting things in this blog, excellent work. Minnesota Lakes

jams

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jams

You'll like this group analysis, it's a real freak show. If it gets dull, we sing songs. qdcutah.com

Douglas-Guerreiro

@Scandyhoovian Filmes Online valeu, q legal....

jams

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hahahaha, ja.

I initially read "Warren Beatty" and thought of Warren Buffett, which made me all kinds of confused.

Neozinho Guerreiro@facebook

@hahahaha, ja. muito bom comentário Assistir Filmes Online

pollypeachum

First time commenter who had to register just to say this or I will go crazy: Peter Sellers was definitely one of the lead in "Pussycat?", but he played a sex-obsessed Austrian psychiatrist, while Peter O'Toole played the Warren Beatty role.
Signed,
Someone who definitely isn't watching that film right now and didn't make one of her favorite lines her avatar name.

Anne Helen Petersen

@yourfaceislikethepaleautumnmoonareyadeaf Edith is ON IT!

pollypeachum

@Anne Helen Petersen OH GOD I didn't mean to sound like a jerk! I just...I really like that movie and have a special fondness for red-haired Peter O'Toole dancing around and yelling at windows? Oh dear. :(

Anne Helen Petersen

@yourfaceislikethepaleautumnmoonareyadeaf Oh no, oh no, you do not sound like a jerk at all. Caps lock is my way of expressing thanks (plus every other positive emotion).

PS THANK YOU

Lucienne

@yourfaceislikethepaleautumnmoonareyadeaf When the light hits him in a certain way, he's almost handsome.

pollypeachum

@Anne Helen Petersen Hooray! And you're welcome. (sorry I was just having comment remorse and the moment I clicked I was like 'OOOOHHH NO come back to meeee!'

pollypeachum

@Lucienne 'Tricklllleeee back to your truckllllleee beds!'

KatPruska

@yourfaceislikethepaleautumnmoonareyadeaf A lascivious adulterer is a man who is a lascivious adulterer. What kind of book is this?!

pollypeachum

@KatPruska You MUST NOT ATTACK HER. You must WOO her.

KatPruska

@yourfaceislikethepaleautumnmoonareyadeaf Woo her? Woooooooooo herrrr...

KatPruska

@yourfaceislikethepaleautumnmoonareyadeaf You'll like this group analysis, it's a real freak show. If it gets dull, we sing songs.

pollypeachum

@KatPruska Your name is like a bell that hangs in my heart! May it ring! And swing! LEFEBVRE! LEFEBVRE!

KatPruska

@yourfaceislikethepaleautumnmoonareyadeaf Miss Lefebvre! Miss Lefebvre! It's me, Baby Fritz, and I love you!

/I will never ever ever get over Peter Sellers in this movie as long as I live. "He was a brilliant pervert."

pollypeachum

@KatPruska "I like thighs. Do you like thighs?"
It is a ridiculous film but I love it so much and Peter Sellers is too awesome!

sam.i.am

@yourfaceislikethepaleautumnmoonareyadeaf I'm ashamed that I've never seen this, even though I love Woody Allen, so I am fixing this right now.

KatPruska

@sam.i.am I am jealous. I wish it were my first time again. *flicks away tear*

jams

Jenna Jambeck will discuss his latest research on waste Symposium in waste management worldwide. This is so great bubblegum casting

jams

which we are able to purchase, and in many cases carry around with us even when camping or enjoying the outdoors anywhere. HCG weight loss

Sincerely, Jane

(soprano saxophone)
EDIT: I only have time to look at the pictures right now, but they are worth it.

meetapossum

@Sincerely, Jane I came down here to say the same thing!

SuperGogo

@Sincerely, Jane
Warren was the first Kenny G--amazing!

Heat Signature

@Sincerely, Jane But also why did he leave his socks on? I mean, is it just me or do men generally seem really attached to their white tube socks (I notice this in pornography as well)? Take those damn things off, they are not sexy at all!!

The Hyperbolic Julia Set

@Heat Signature I cannot link to streaming content as I am at work, BUT look up "The Sock Gap" from Coupling, the episode called "Size Matters"!

dale

"The whole thing is so Woody Allen I can’t even stand it."

I'm intrigued by this, AHP, can you say a little more about what you mean?

Reginal T. Squirge

I think she just meant that the act of making that Woody Allen film actually unfolded like the plot of a Woody Allen film.

Anne Helen Petersen

@Reginal T. Squirge That is exactly what I meant.

dale

@Anne Helen Petersen @Reginal T. Squirge Thanks. As an avoider of WA films, I couldn't quite figure out what it was meant to imply.

okaycrochet

@dale WOOOOOOOOODYYYYYYYYYYY
I may or may not have just been reading about this film last night, while on one of my (many, frequent, all-consuming) Woody Allen research benders. Lurve you, Woody!

FoleySparrow

@Anne Helen Petersen - Oh, AHP, I'm so excited to see you did a living person this time! And your column even has the name of Woody Allen in it.

Does this inch us ever closer to someday, one day, to an AHP treatment of Mia Farrow. Oh please, oh please, oh please.

I mean, she put up with Woody Allen for years, lost her adopted daughter to her lover, was married to Frank Sinatra before that, and her (hottie) son works on international peace issues, real ones. C'mon, we're talking about Rosemary's Baby! Yes, she's still alive, but so beautiful and tragic and weird and strong. Mia Farrow!

Someday...soon? ThankyouIloveyouforever.

rabbittime

@dale I was totally her son's lab partner when I was in college one semester. He was in college super young (like 14), so I'm actually somewhat shocked that he turned out so hot. I had to look up which son you were talking about cuz there's no way that kid turned out hot...but I was clearly wrong. I was a terrible lab partner, btw, but he was also sort of an annoying hand-raiser.

crookedlegs

My shameless love of boys in glasses means I NEED to see him head on in those frames. Immediately.

purefog

@crookedlegs Here ya go: http://www4.images.coolspotters.com/photos/695773/warren-beatty-gallery.jpg

misskaz

@crookedlegs If there were a such thing as those glasses plus the bearded shaggy haired pic? Oh MY. (Yes I have all of the things for hipsters. Whatever.)

purefog

@crookedlegs I am telling you, thees eenternet, eet haz zee affreesing. http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSAQbtJJEtW0fpoVbxNW_C06rPK5IZDLgX51d_f1PksUi-3iKwQhA

crookedlegs

@misskaz ALL of the things. We should start a support group.

Nicole Cliffe

oggogggggggoggooggogogogooihouhdfsuhdfdhf

Not even the earth's yellow sun can sustain me from the Kryptonite that is Young (or Middle) Warren Beatty.

laurel

Bonnie and Clyde because of the first shots of Faye Dunaway and for the line that's something like, "When we started, I thought we were really going somewhere. Now I guess we're just going."

/America.

Anne Helen Petersen

@laurel The first two minutes of that film with Dunaway are just amazing. Perfect. The way she nearly falls down the stairs she's so eager to see what he's up to....and it's clear she's not wearing anything under that dress. My class of all boys did a shot-by-shot analysis of the first five minutes and were, let's just say, fidgety.....

laurel

@Anne Helen Petersen: Isn't she topless in the first shot, in the window, with just the window sash covering her nips? And it's her first big role, right? So, like, boom, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Faye Dunaway.

Anne Helen Petersen

@laurel She totally is. Also her hair is so, so good throughout, especially for a gangster.

noodge

how could ANYONE not hold on to Leslie Caron for ever and ever and ever and ever? I love her so much.

frigwiggin

@teenie She is so amazing. Man, now that I'm looking through, Beatty had some excellent taste in noses...

Alli525

@teenie Gigi! Giiiiiiiii-giiiiiiii!!!

Shit, now I need to go buy that movie, all I have it in is VHS.

Bitca?

@Alli525 YES! I have that movie on pretty much every format but laserdisc. It is perfect. And I had no idea Leslie Caron was so interesting. Let's have a SoCH (or maybe just an Awesome People of Classic Hollywood) on her. And um, maybe the SoCH treatment of more classic films. Because I need some guidance on which classics to watch and how. I'm sure Aunt Alicia could provide some excellent advice, but in the meantime I will have to hope for AHP.

thisisunclear

I want to read all of this so badly right now instead of saving for later, but I am working in the archives of a seminary today and I don't want the priests to think I'm a hussy. Clearly I am becoming a Doctor of Way More Boring Stuff.

PatatasBravas

1. Bonnie and Clyde is a perfect movie. Now I need to watch all these others...

2. AHP, this article is beautifully written. Seriously. I love all your words!

laurel

I watch McCabe & Mrs. Miller about once a year. Julie Christie ooowns that movie and its stupid wet horrible boom town.

bskinz

Amazing, as always. Also, soprano sax, i think? Love the beard :)

nolite_te_bastardes

@bskinz Definitely soprano sax. Signed, A Former Band Geek.

meetapossum

"My name's not FUCKING WARREN!"

I don't know how I feel about his phone obsession. It's giving me creepy crawlies. He's so handsome, but if he kept calling me so much, I would definitely have to say, "BACK OFF, WARREN!"

Does Axl have a jack?

@meetapossum "Because it would hurt a lot, Warren."

theharpoon

"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."

Slapfight

His name isn't Warren?

bskinz

Also, i read "leslie caron" and couldn't place her till i realized she's the french teacher/love interest in Father Goose

Bittersweet

@bskinz An American in Paris, Daddy Long-Legs et al would like a word with you.

kitten_witawip

Some omissions, he hit on Tennessee Williams to get cast in "The Roman Spring of Mrs Stone" and suggested a three-way with producer Julia Phillips and her 14 year-old daughter.

Kevin Knox

@kitten_witawip And Tennessee TURNED HIM DOWN (by his own admission), which is unfathomable.

catfoodandhairnets

"You're so vain" is the first thing I think about when I hear Warren Beatty's name. Is that a true thing? Did I just imagine that was him?

catfoodandhairnets

@catfoodandhairnets Oh yeah, it's in there.

SuperGogo

@catfoodandhairnets Let's start a rumor that "You Oughta Know" is about Beatty too, so we can purge Dave freaking Coulier from that story.

catfoodandhairnets

@SuperGogo Alannis WISHES it were about Beatty.

WaityKatie

@catfoodandhairnets I think the consensus is it's "partially" about him, but also about David Geffen? I dunno.

flanhoodles

@catfoodandhairnets If I remember Girls Like Us correctly, I think it's about Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson.

samuraihellkitty

I haven't read this yet but I wanted to say....SOCH! Wooohoo! Now back to your regularly scheduled decorum.

pterodactgirl

For the record, I have always thought that song was about him too. Excited to read this and find out if that is so! <3 you, SoCH.

Vicky

AHP! I love this. What do you think of Pictures at a Revolution? I read it not that long ago and really liked it, but am curious as to how it reads to an expert.

Reginal T. Squirge

Just when you thought Woody Allen couldn't get any skeevier, you come across that fingertips quote...

noReally

Warren in godawful Truth or Dare, Madonna's love letter to Madonna. He is the voice of sanity. Warren Beatty! Her throat doctor comes for a house call, and he asks if she'd like to talk about her (career threatening) illness without the camera crew and she waves it off, like, For Art. And WB is sitting there disgusted and says something like, "Why would she want to do anything off camera? Why would she even want to live off camera?"

Rosebudddd

@noReally I saw that in the theater when it came out and that scene is about the only one I remember clearly. That was a great line.

passivecashblueprint

Love Beatty, love the article but wish you'd included Diane Keaton. fcs networker discount

Regina Phalange

Picture 3:

Warren: Hey! Hey! *I* am allowed to say that the big earrings, with that necklace, are overkill. YOU are NOT. She's Joan Fucking Collins, buddy!

Joan: And he's Warren Fucking Beatty! Don't make those cheekbones waste their time on you!

Guy in the background: So that sonofabitch thinks he can make glasses sexy, huh? Glasses are MY THING. MINE.

katiemcgillicuddy

I, the pictures, just. Time to pick myself up off the floor and read the article.

City_Dater

Difficult he may have been (and still be), but Beatty has always had impressive taste in hookups/girlfriends/wives -- have to love a man who isn't threatened by brainy, talented, awesome women.

notandersoncooper

@City_Dater I'd like a Joan Collins, please!

laurel

@City_Dater: He really does have exquisite taste.

catfoodandhairnets

@notandersoncooper I am floored by the young Joan Collins. She is so Dallasty in my head. I had NO IDEA. Stunning.

stormageddon

@catfoodandhairnets She has always been 100% power suits to me... When I saw that first photo with the records, I actually whistled. Holy cats, whadda knockout.

City_Dater

@notandersoncooper

Because she is a minx! (I LOVE that word. Thank you for your efforts to bring it back, AHP!)

The Hyperbolic Julia Set

@City_Dater That word always makes me think of Hugh Grant talking about Margaret Thatcher...

Bittersweet

@catfoodandhairnets And how is Joan Collins in Dynasty not the very definition of awesome?

ejcsanfran

@Bittersweet: 'Struth.

the roughest toughest frail

Every time I see Warren Beatty, I flash back to a very awkward dinner party when an amazingly drunk family friend cornered me and proceeded to tell me about how she banged him back in the day.

gfrancie

@abetterfate Now THAT is a story I would want to hear.

the roughest toughest frail

@gfrancie Um, I was 10 at the time. Even now, I'm not sure I would want to hear the gory details from a woman I call "auntie". :p

Dan@twitter

@abetterfate What, not even for "science?"

(Totally kidding, in case there's any doubt.)

katherinerine

Hmmm... I am maybe seeing some parallels between Warren Beatty and Channing Tatum...

Anne Helen Petersen

@katherinerine I ENDORSE THESE PARALLELS

itiresias

@katherinerine Oh, don't do that to C-Tates. He barely has a handle on knowing what's going on in the world around him.

allofthewine

@katherinerine I would like to endorse those parallels, if you know what i'm sayin'

mv
mv

This line:
Fifty years from now, scholars will look back and consider not what Beatty’s image was, but how our twisted reception of it illuminates the hypocrisy at the heart of American sexual values.

AHP, your writing is STUNNING and it's breathtaking right there. This column is the best thing about Wednesdays.

laurel

Shampoo really is underrated. And Julie Christie's hair really is amazing in it.

purefog

@laurel Robert Towne wrote Shampoo (with Beatty also given a writer's credit), so there you have it.

Megasus

So, Christian Grey is based on Warren Beatty, is all I can really think about right now (someone is live tweeting 50 Shades, that is not helping).

frigwiggin

Oh my god, in some of those shots he looks so much like my friend's brother that it kind of freaks me out. Ayayayayai.

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin Also, I have never seen Warren Beatty in anything and I'm starting to regret that this instant.

Mad as a Hatter!

@frigwiggin Ahem...is your friend's brother single? I'm asking for a friend.

Punk-assBookJockey

Did all the phone-calling and sex-having remind anyone of the manic guy from Eugenides The Marraige Plot? Oh and also the controlling-of-everything and micro-managing?

coreykins

@Punk-assBookJockey Yes! Leonard, was it? Totally the only character I actually liked in that book, though.

Punk-assBookJockey

@coreykins Yeah, he was definitely more likeable than the other two. At least he had mental illness as a reason for some of his not-great behavior, what were their excuses?

SuperGogo

Please tell me I'm not the only one who didn't know that Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister? Please?

KatPruska

@SuperGogo You are not! I squealed most unbecomingly when I opened Ye Olde Hairpin this afternoon and saw a SOCH post, and again when I read that delicious piece of information. Off to Wikipedia!

Bittersweet

@SuperGogo I did...because they went to high school in my hometown of Arlington, VA. (As did Sandra Bullock, for a while anyway.)

Ames

@SuperGogo That's one of those facts that just never sticks in my brain. Every time I hear it I go "WHAT!!" and then half a second later "Oh wait, I knew that."

sara@twitter

Several years ago I was fact-checking a magazine story on Warren Beatty, and I had a question for the writer. Rather than answering me, she handed me her phone, on the other end of which was Warren Effing Beatty. Twenty minutes later I woke up sprawled on the floor with a smile on my face.

Rosebudddd

@sara@twitter I think the rest of this story got cut off?

sam.i.am

When I saw on Facebook that you were writing about Julie Christie, I hoped against hope that you were writing about Warren Beatty. SWOON. I love him so much.

OK, now I'm going to go read and swoon some more.

sam.i.am

@sam.i.am Anne, this was fantastic. I love the Silver Age and placing WB in context was utterly fascinating. You also articulated all the reasons I love him so much -- the crazy passion for everything -- sex, projects, everything. I love it.

(And I also love "Reds," but we can disagree. It's no "Dr. Zhivago," I'll give you that)

I hope we'll get more Silver Age analysis soon.

joie

This made me go and get all Warren Beatty up in my Netflix queue, which led to Netflix recommending several Robert Redford movies, and oh my gawd, can we talk about Robert Redford next? That man is like walking sex.

Anne Helen Petersen

@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside You forgot about the Tumblr that you all are supposed to make me: FUCK YEAH CRAGGY DUDES

joie

@Anne Helen Petersen haha! needs a healthy dose of Clint Eastwood, in that case.

eiffeldesigns

@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside YES. Three Days of the Condor! Swoon!

joie

@Kirs Bridges of Madison County, which deepens my admiration for Meryl Streep. GET IT GIRL.

Slapfight

@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside Ugggghhhhh young Redford, you destroy me. Brad Pitt is our generation's prettier copy. I don't mean that in a good way. Young Bobby breaks my heart with his sad eyes and blonde hair, and blondes aren't usually my thang.
Also, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was the original Brokeback Mountain.

Blushingflwr

It's a soprano sax.

When I saw this was posted, I had to promise myself that I would read it as a reward for finishing a work project.

Also, does this mean we get a SoCH about Orson Welles?

Unaccompanied Lady

I have loved WB since I was 13.

The movie that did it? No shame here, no hate: Heaven Can Wait.

SuperGogo

@Unaccompanied Lady Same here, and you just made me do a giant mental flashback. Wait! Doesn't he play his soprano sax in that movie??

Update: He does, he does! The circle is complete: http://thebestpictureproject.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/heavencanwait1.jpg

Unaccompanied Lady

@SuperGogo super like!

HoliandIvy

To me, ALL of Goldie's 60s and 70s work throws her daughters inadequacy into high relief.

City_Dater

@HoliandIvy

Hell, OVERBOARD throws her daughter's inadequacy into high relief.
*Shakes head over unfortunate quality of romantic comedy scripts and actors nowadays*

collier

@HoliandIvy : Her hair in that poster for shampoo is urging me to go pick up my scissors right now. WANT.

jadeice

@City_Dater Its not the quality of the romantic comedy scripts. It's the continual hope the goldie's offspring will finally show some talent.

FromTheFuture

Bosley Crowther! Its been a while since I thought about that old stick in the mud! You're really taking me back to my Grad School days, dabbling in Reception, AHP! (such crazy times!)

Heather M

Amazing piece! I learned so much. Thank you!

eoporto

Totally jealous of Annette Benning now. I had no idea.

rianne marie

tenor saxophone?

That is clearly a soprano sax. Which is an amazing & unfortunately obscure darling of an instrument.

Tulletilsynet

When a sentence says a guy was not even a good actor maybe but nevertheless was "one of the most important figures in film" in blah blah years, and that sentence actually does make a kind of sense, something is way wrong. With us or "film" or "importance" or something.

itiresias

...Am I the only one who thinks he has the face of a total frat boy douche, and is not attractive in the slightest? No, everyone loves him? Word. Not the first time my vagina just disagreed with everybody else.

Bittersweet

@itiresias No, I totally agree. I get that he's handsome, and sexy, and how he embodies America's hypocrisies about sex. But that doesn't mean I like him, or would ever want to hook up with him.

The final nail in my Warren Beatty is a Juicebox coffin came when I read Katharine Hepburn's biography, Kate Remembered, by A. Scott Berg. Apparently Berg was there when Beatty was trying to convince Hepburn to play his aunt in his An Affair to Remember remake, and the way he came across in those discussions - just basically using her for his own glory and self-aggrandizement - was just too much.

dale

@itiresias Nope, don't much care for him either!

Ames

@itiresias No, I was just thinking that I don't really get the appeal of Warren Beatty. I mean, I suppose objectively I understand, but I just find him...icky. It's more than not finding him attractive, I have a visceral negative reaction to him.

PatriciaPepoire

@itiresias I'm with you on this. I had heard of WB over the years as a womanizer, but I tried to watch his movies with an open mind! I watched Splendor, Bonnie, and Shampoo but I disliked him in all of them. There's just something that I just cant...like? Its hard to articulate. Some actors have me from the start (Robert Redford in Barefoot in the Park, Inside Daisy Clover, This Property is Condemned, and of course Up Close and Personal; Roger Moore in The Miracle and The Sins of Rachel Cade as two examples of WBs contemporaries) and some just leave me cold.

Nevertheless this was another fascinating stellar installment!

annestofannes

I AM SWOONING.
Bonnie and Clyde, my favorite movie, and Warren Beatty-- oh be still my heart.

AHP, how did you know my birthday is almost here???? Best SOCH everrr.

Biketastrophy

Bulworth (not Bullworth, I know, nit picking) has one of my favorite lines in all of cinema. "Everybody just gotta keep fuckin' everybody 'til they're all the same color."

theharpoon

That Burt Reynolds pic is tailor-made for a Facebook timeline background. Just sayin'.

dinos

I just heard this song in Home Depot (after having read the post). I'd like to think that a fellow hairspinster works there and put it on.

mishaps

Here was a man playing a manwhore: a hapless, frustrated, confused manwhore who can’t keep his girlfriends, mistresses, and mishaps in order.

Warren Beatty can keep me in order ANY TIME HE LIKES. Bring Annette too.

Jane Dough

@mishaps Amen, sister.

Betsy Murgatroyd

To me, he'll always and forever be Milton Armitage. I had known of him before I ever saw Dobie Gillis, but I still remember him first and foremost as that role.

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This series is so my FAVOURITE thing on the internet.

fleurdelivre

Bonnie and Clyde is the reason why I added Mr. Beatty to my "if I had a time machine..." list. AHP, youda best for this!

4 dogs and counting

Love Beatty, love the article but wish you'd included Diane Keaton.

Diana

So Warren Beatty is this repulsively controlling, self-obsessed creep who happens to be extremely, jaw-droppingly handsome. If only there was a way to just have sex with him and not end up in a serious relationship with him. Oh what's that? One night stands and casual hookups are his "thing"? Mercy, fetch the salts.

OxfordComma

*cough* Soprano sax, actually.

And he was so, so, so beautiful.

Creature Cheeseman

I feel like Warren Beatty has been everywhere lately! There was a jeopardy question about him last week, and one of his movies was playing on TCM this weekend. And Gawker just posted a video of his trans son HERE. I'm learning so much!

srobin

What an incisive, entertaining article. I'm not a great fan of Splendor in the Grass, but wow, Bonnie and Clyde. The actors are beautiful--and the costumes! Faye Dunaway's cheekbones! Oh my.

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