My rapist: for obvious reasons.
My rapist's girlfriend: for not believing me.
The Assistant District Attorney: for making me feel like I'd actually accomplished something by successfully convincing him that I wasn't lying.
Everyone who was at my house while it happened: for not being able to stop it even though it wasn't their fault.
My boyfriend at the time: for saying he'd break up with me unless I went to the police. For going on vacation a week later. And for not being there when it happened even though that part wasn't his fault.
My friend at the time: for saying that my rapist had touched her in her sleep, but then not filling out a police report even though my detective said it would be a good way to keep his file open.
Myself: for being angry.
My room: for not being a safe space at all.
All men, no exceptions: for obvious reasons.
Fox News: for obvious reasons.
The Earth: for obvious reasons.
My cat: for not being a person.
My television remote: for always getting lost at the worst times.
My one sock: seriously fuck washing socks.
My new dryer bag: I can't believe I spent money on this.
Feminist bloggers: seriously why don't you get what pain is?
Anyone successful: seriously why are you so happy when other people are so sad?
The air: you are filled with radioactive poisoning and no one knows.
The sky: you are so blue you remind me of the word blue which in turn, makes me blue.
The ocean: same.
My sense of humor: for disappearing.
Time: for not really healing all wounds though I'm open to working together in the future.
Lee R. is a student, internet feminist, reader, record collector, and lover of her future dog, wherever she is.