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Friday, July 27, 2012

1016

Friday Open Thread

Stay dry, wherever you are.

Tags:

rain



1016 Comments / Post A Comment

olivebee

I am so sad I am babysitting tonight because that means I have to TiVo the Opening Ceremonies! It breaks my geography nerd heart to know that I can't watch the Parade of Nations (my favorite part) live. I love seeing the countries with a handful of athletes (or sometimes just 1!) carry their flag and see how happy they are. Gotta love an underdog.

In other news, my husband and I are taking a vacation to Palm Beach, FL in a few days, to visit my brother-in-law. Any suggestions on what to do down there besides go to the beach? Neither of us are beach-y people, so it gets old after a day.

Nicole Cliffe

@olivebee YOU SHOULD BRING THIS BITCHY BOOK: "Madness Under the Royal Palms" (http://www.amazon.com/Madness-Under-Royal-Palms-Behind/dp/1401322913)

whateverlolawants

@olivebee I love the Opening Ceremonies! Thanks for the reminder.

soul toast

@olivebee I don't know if you're in the US, but if you are it wouldn't be live anyway. They're delaying the broadcast until prime time.

Scandyhoovian

@olivebee I'm also DVRing the Opening Ceremonies. I have planned to watch them in my pajamas Saturday morning and pretend it's Christmas.

olivebee

@Scandyhoovian When you put it that way, it sounds delightful. I will do the same thing!

@Nicole Cliffe Thanks for the recommendation! The book I am currently reading is a non-fiction about the effect Chicago housing projects have on the kids who grow up in them, which isn't exactly light beach fare.

liverwortlaura

@olivebee what is this book? I would like to read. Also, I wish someone in Chicago would invite me over to watch Opening Ceremony madness. No TV in the liverwort household, and I will most likely spend all night in front of the computer :(

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@liverwortlaura
I'm going to the Best Coast show, but come to the meet-up tonight and make a friend! I think some other people expressed interest in watching the Opening Ceremony at a bar?

terrific

@olivebee I will be downloading (illegally) the Opening Games (assuming they're online!?!? they must be right!??!?!) because I brilliantly decided to go camping this weekend.

lorenzo

@olivebee I will also be babysitting tonight. I'm actually nervous about it because he's my nephew, and he's one, and I'm not used to dealing with babies because none of our friends have babies yet, and my in-laws have only ever left him with two people ever so there's all this pressure on my husband and I to not mess anything up! Hopefully some maternal instincts will kick in and it will be fine. Also, I hope he goes to sleep pretty easily so I can watch the Opening Ceremonies after he's in bed :)

olivebee

@liverwortlaura The book is called There Are No Children Here by Alex Kotlowitz. It's kind of old (1989, I think?) but totally still relevant. Plus, he also co-produced the documentary, The Interrupters, which takes place in Chicago projects, too.

I'd invite you to watch the Opening Ceremonies with me since my husband couldn't care less about the Olympics, but like I said, babysitting tonight :(.

katiemcgillicuddy

@terrific For all your illegal sports/sports related watching needs: http://atdhe.eu/

whereismyrobot

@olivebee I am mad at NPR for airing spoilers on Morning Edition.

Tuna Surprise

@olivebee
Hate to break it to you, but so far the opening ceremony sucks balls!

OhMarie

@whereismyrobot I am afraid I will have to go on media lockdown for the duration of the olympics.

liverwortlaura

@josiahg BEST COAST, you lucky dog!

LaLoba

@katiemcgillicuddy Holy fuck thanks for that link!!!

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@liverwortlaura
It hasn't sold out!

liverwortlaura

@josiahg ahhhhhh and tickets are only $19.....

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@liverwortlaura
Come with us! The Olympics will be back in 4 years? (Is it 4 years? I really don't follow these things...)

liverwortlaura

@josiahg I think you've talked me into it?!

liverwortlaura

@josiahg how can I get in touch with you?

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@liverwortlaura
Hooray!

Go to the Chicago threads on the Google Groups to get my email address.

Or come to the Newberry tonight?

liverwortlaura

@josiahg for some reason I can see other people's e-mail addresses but not yours? but I just created a gmail account that is this username... so contact me there?

katiemcgillicuddy

@LaLoba No problem dude! I have kind of a serious addiction to sports (I'm not kidding, it's like A Problem) and when I found that site it was basically the greatest day of my life.

Shayna

@olivebee Are you reading "There Are No Children Here"?
I had mixed feelings about that book...

carolinaclay

the ending just made it worth it :)@y

aliceandstuff

Hey everyone! How do I find a new hairdresser? Most of my coworkers live outside NYC so I have no idea how to find someone who I can trust. Alternatively, recommendations for hair salons in New York?

Marquise de Morville

@aliceandstuff I like the Aveda Salon up at Columbia University, but I never had anything done much besides trimming the ends. A lot of my fellow grad students went there.My hair is on the sparser side and straight, so YMMV.

I felt cheap and went to Supercuts once, but the hairdresser had really long, scratchy fingernails, so I would avoid the chain.

HeyMatilda

@aliceandstuff I go to High Horse Salon in Williamsburg and I've never gotten a bad haircut there. My stylist is Bella!

werewolfbarmitzvah

@aliceandstuff I like Sei Tomoko, the Japanese salon on East 13th St. They used to be only about $35 for a haircut, but last time I went they'd upped it to $50, which is still all right by NYC standards. They've consistently given me the best haircuts I've gotten anywhere (other salons always seemed to send me out the door with soccer mom haircuts, no matter what I requested), and one of my favorite parts is that the language barrier makes it so that you can avoid the awkward small talk. (Awkward small talk was always the thing that used to make me dread getting haircuts!)

trappedinabay

@werewolfbarmitzvah Oh my god! I hate haircuts even more than I hate going to the dentist. The forced small talk is just the absolute worst.

SheWhoReadsInSkirts

@aliceandstuff I go to the Paul Mitchell school in Chicago, and highly recommend going to a hairdressing school to get your hair cut on the cheaps. Unless you don't need cheap cuts, at which point, yelp away.

PomoFrannyGlass

@aliceandstuff I just went to Boy Luv Girl in Brooklyn Heights for the first time and am really happy with the cut (I hear good things about their color processes, too).

dj pomegranate

@aliceandstuff I go to Heather at Whistle Salon in Alphabet City and it is the best, for reals. Approx $60-$80 for haircut, depending on what you want.

Atheist Watermelon

@aliceandstuff ooh! Kiwa Salon on 27th! I think everyone there is pretty great. It's another Japanese place. they've cut my hair twice and I was really happy both times. I think they're also around $50. Plus they massage your head for about 5 minutes and it's aaahhhhhhmazing.

Janestreet

@aliceandstuff Soon Beauty Lab. I've never been so happy with hair people.

aliceandstuff

Thank you for all the suggestions! I <3 you all so much!

Lily Rowan

@aliceandstuff I loved Corinne at Whistle in the EVill when I lived in NYC, although I don't know if she still works there.

runner in the garden

@aliceandstuff - poking my head into this NYC thread to remind you of Olympics Beer Garden pinup in Astoria tonight!

aliceandstuff

@runner in the garden I was not aware of this, I will be there!

MailerMattDaemon

@HeyMatilda I moved away from NYC nearly two years ago and still miss Bella at High Horse almost every day! She is the living greatest.

ohyeahmetoo

@aliceandstuff I also go to sei tomoko! but the one on e. 4th street. pretty much everyone i know in nyc goes to them, they are super sweet, i'm not obligated to make small talk, but sometimes find myself doing so, and they give you a little massage and really nice green tea (the kind with the toasted rice). I get complimented on my hair a lot and it's totally reasonably priced (i think i pay $50 now also, but started at $35. been going for 6 years though, which is some kind of record for me).

Myrtle

@SheWhoReadsInSkirts Seconding Paul Mitchell, but mine's in LA. Especially after reading DJ Pom's 60-80 entry. Paul Mitchell's Twelve Bucks but looks like Sixty. The people I've met there have already been cutting, but have come to the School to bump up their game. Plus, their tuition's 20k, so your stylist is motivated, to say the least. I love their edgy cuts!

Nicole Cliffe

Um, I'm finally REALLY on the Twitter (after just using it to auto-link my blog posts for years), and I think I have a problem. Come enable me!

(@Nicole_Cliffe)

eiffeldesigns

@Nicole Cliffe Followed!

Nicole Cliffe

(Just so we're clear, asking you to follow me is wrong and deeply dorky. Thanks!)

Cat named Virtute

@Nicole Cliffe Your tweet about getting high and doing paint by numbers resonated... deeply with me.

Nicole Cliffe

@Cat named Virtute "It spoke to you and that pleases me." - Jess ("When Harry Met Sally")

Jizzcliner

@Nicole Cliffe Josh Barro mentioned your Amazon letter today!

(To be wrong and deeply dorky, @mhfiset)

melis

"I also said pesto is the quiche of the 80s."

"Get over yourself!"

"No, no, I really did!"

ba-na-nas

@melis This reminds me of the Worcester, MA "Paris of the 80's" thing.

PistolPackinMama

@Nicole Cliffe I got you, baby.

Biketastrophy

@ba-na-nas Even though I've never gotten where that came from, I've always wanted one of the shirts.

lora.bee

@melis I've never quoted anything from a magazine in my life!

Scandyhoovian

@Nicole Cliffe Following!

Also, the Harry and Sally quoting in here is warming the coldest pits of my heart. I love the 'Pin.

melis

Ooh, I've been looking for a red suede pump. Do you like Jess? I mean, do you see yourself going out with him? Because I really like him.

lora.bee

@melis Not only does she always pick the best thing on the menu, but she orders it in a way that even the chef didn't know how good it could be.

Lexa Lane

@lora.bee You had a date on national holidays!

lora.bee

@Lexa Lane They don't make Sundays.
Why not?
Because of God.

ba-na-nas

@Biketastrophy my ex had a red one. i coveted it a lot.

The Lady of Shalott

Guys, sometimes I feel like working in a wedding salon is actually going to kill me. ACTUALLY. People be crazy, families be crazy, EVERYONE BE CRAZY.

It makes me want to have a tiny, tiny, tiny elopement instead of an actual GREAT BIG WEDDING. Yesterday a woman told me she was having a small wedding with 75 guests. Oh god. My boyfriend keeps asking me "What kind of horror stories do you have today?" because EVERY DAY someone ends up crying in our store for some reason or another.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Lady of Shalott I'm not sure I know 75 people I'd want to see me get married.

camanda

@The Lady of Shalott I don't even like 75 different people.

I haven't been in the Home Store much so I've missed out on the crazy bridal registry shenanigans. HALLELUJAH. The stuff some of these people put on their registries! I'm so glad I don't have to do what you do -- they're bad enough when they're just making their list of demands.

The Lady of Shalott

@camanda The worst part of it is that by and large, the brides are WAY more reasonable and pleasant than the people they bring with them! Moms, grooms' moms, grandmas, sisters, MOHs, cousins, BFFs, BFFs' moms, and the whole shebang that women bring with them are usually about ten thousand times worse--pickier, nastier, less respectful to the bride and me/my coworkers, more irritable in every way. People are INSANE!

Also last week we had a bride who was having 12 bridesmaids. And 350 guests.

meetapossum

@Xanthophyllippa I think the main problem with keeping weddings small is family. I would have to invite my grandmother's sisters, even though I don't know them super well, because That's What You Do. I would be inviting 30 some odd family members along to my Hypothetical Wedding, and that's not counting my Hypothetical Husband's side. Family!

EpWs

@The Lady of Shalott TWELVE?

...TWELVE?

the roughest toughest frail

@The Lady of Shalott One of my cousins had 8 regular bridesmaids, plus 4 junior bridesmaids, and 10 "sponsors". So yeah, I believe it.

EpWs

@abetterfate THE FUCK IS A SPONSOR

frigwiggin

@abetterfate @The Lady of Shalott Whaaaaaaat even is that

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@The Lady of Shalott If I get married, I have to have a small wedding because I don't like public speaking or people looking at me. Or some of my relatives.

EpWs

@abetterfate DID SHE HAVE A HUNGER GAMES WEDDING?

the roughest toughest frail

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I think it might be exclusively a Filipino wedding tradition. They're supposed to be older men and women that the couple admire, but they're just another way to throw more people into the wedding party.

Filipino weddings are crazy-long and drawn out with everyone you've ever known participating in the ceremony in some way. I had to fight tooth and nail to keep half of that crap out of my wedding.

ETA: I WISH IT WAS A HUNGER GAMES WEDDING. I was a junior bridesmaid and a fight to the death between the bride's side and the groom's side would have made the TWO HOUR CATHOLIC MASS more bearable.

sarah girl

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Okay, I know this gets bandied about on the internet as hyperbole, but I literally did just chortle INTO MY DRINK at your comment. Cleaning up desk now...

EpWs

@abetterfate I'm a bridesmaid in a Catholic wedding next May. Will suggest this to the bride.

SheWhoReadsInSkirts

@The Lady of Shalott ...our invite list was 75, but we managed to somehow around only 40 people show(even with the two photographers)...soo....75 invitees = a small list still? I guess? I don't even know.

the roughest toughest frail

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher The sacristy would make a great Cornucopia.

trappedinabay

@Sarah H. OMG me too!

The Lady of Shalott

@abetterfate I feel like a Hunger Games wedding would be vastly preferable to some of the stuff we see. Last month a woman came in telling me that her dress had cost $7k, but she wanted us to take care of her bridesmaids. She had eight and she wanted them each to be wearing this pink Vera Wang ballgown wedding dress. That cost $1250 each. I actually do not know if she was paying for it or asking them to pay for themselves.

camanda

@The Lady of Shalott Yeah, I find them to be the same way -- the brides are better than their relatives/wedding party/whatever. The brides seem worse once the wedding is over and they're coming in and picking up stuff that got missed. LORD. 'Cause, you know, it's the difference between life and death, that $155 Waterford butter dish is. I'm sorry your life was ruined because no one realized you really needed it.

The Hyperbolic Julia Set

@The Lady of Shalott See I thought about going wedding dress shopping with like one other person, if that, because my personal style DOES NOT WORK with anyone else in my family's, but then I thought that'd look pathetic and I'd get pity from everyone in the store (I've witnessed this with a woman whose bridesmaids' car broke down).
Also, you could have a Hunger Games reception (cake & refreshements = cornucopia) and then the bride and groom can be game makers, get all their presents and kill off everyone that had made the planning part insufferable...with fire!

The Lady of Shalott

@The Hyperbolic Julia Set omg NO. We LOVE it when people come in with one other supportive person!!! It makes the entire process SO MUCH EASIER and smoother and mostly happier in every way! More people = more opinire done for the day, then call the manager and tell them you won't be returning to a place where they are all judgey.

So seriously, go with one or two other people you really trust. There is really no need to bring like 10 people with you.

sophi

@meetapossum If I ever have a wedding, my side of the aisle is going to be ridiculously sparse. I have precisely seven family members who I've ever met/are still living. Literally seven. That includes my parents. One of them is married, several could bring dates, none have young children. I'm going to feel real weird if my future husband has a giant family.

EpWs

@The Lady of Shalott THE FUCK YOU SAY $1250 BRIDESMAID DRESSES

(sorry, this thread is making me CAPSY)

Evidence-based decision-making

@The Lady of Shalott I bought my wedding dress in a flea market in Ottawa on the way to the airport - saw it, told my driver to pull over, leapt out, tried it on, couldn't decide. Went outside and asked the driver what he thought. Turns out he had married three daughters and had strong opinions. Small crowd gathered, debated, finally agreed it looked good. Made my plane with seconds to spare. :)

TheLetterL

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Hunger Games themed weddings, kind of uncomfortable when taken seriously: http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/hunger-games-themed-wedding

EpWs

@TheLetterL That's kind of horrific and impractical. KATNISS WOULD NEVER.

TheLetterL

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Right?! And WTF is that picture with the berries?
(Spoiler? This might be a spoiler) Why are you threatening suicide on the happiest day of your life?

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@TheLetterL Til death do us part, right? *rimshot*

Okay but in all honesty, if I got an invitation to a Hunger Games wedding and my sister didn't immediately scream out "I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE" I would have to find a new family.

EpWs

@Rookie @TheLetterL @abetterfate LOOK WHAT BLOG404 JUST POSTED ON THEIR TUMBLR:

(I know that Megan is a 'Pinner, so this can't be a coincidence...)

TheLetterL

@Rookie HEY-O! ("Did your vows just say "until nightlock do us part?" "We're very committed to making this work.")

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher That is amazing! And I spy a little mockingjay to the left side on the bottom.

Myrtle

@Evidence-based decision-making Crowd and cabdriver get the best story ever to tell. Everybody wins!

Xanthophyllippa

I hate being single, ugh. My bestie left town with the fam for three weeks, effectively killing my social life and sending me into a small fit of tears when they left Wednesday and then no one else was free to do anything because of "family stuff." And then I lost my spinny ring in the lake when I snagged it while climbing back into my kayak.

BUT! I bought a kite. It's very cute with its ladybug and long green tail and flying it makes me very, very happy.

Cat named Virtute

@Xanthophyllippa Ohhh, Xanthophyllippa! Hugs to you. I am also single, and also all my friends keep moving out of the city I live in now, and it sucks, so much. I hope you get clear skies and good winds this weekend.

aliceandstuff

@Xanthophyllippa You should go out and do things by yourself. I have not had close friends who live in the same area as me for a long time and I do everything on my own now. It sucks at times but you get used to it.

wharrgarbl

@aliceandstuff Doing things by yourself is pretty fun sometimes. I mean, I'm married, but I still want to do stuff when the husband is hiding under the couch and refusing to be drug out into the blinding light of the daystar, so solo adventuring it is.

sarah girl

@Xanthophyllippa Treat yourself to dinner and a movie! Even if it's just leftovers and Netflix.

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa Come over to my house, the Spinster Balcony is always open.

like a rabid squirrel

@Xanthophyllippa I feel you! I'm not currently single, but boyfriend has been out of town for two weeks and most of my friends are out of town. And I will be single once I move. :/

HOWEVER, if I recall last week's OT, I will be single and friendless in the same city that you're in, so we should hang out. I like kites.

whereismyrobot

@Xanthophyllippa Always have different sets of friends. Always.

whereismyrobot

@Xanthophyllippa Also museums are the best to go to alone. You can go at your own pace and skip over stuff you're not into without feeling judged because you're not into Rothko or whatever.

Xanthophyllippa

@aliceandstuff I already do everything by myself. I am trying hard not to do things by myself and to make an active effort to Interact. The problem is that it's hard to Interact when everyone else is occupied.

@whereismyrobot I do, but see above re: everyone else is occupied. Ugh.

Xanthophyllippa

@olliegrace Yes! We will do ALL the things.

@PPM EXCELLENT. I'll bring the watermelon sorbet.

runner in the garden

@whereismyrobot - yeah, but who doesn't like Rothko?

eiffeldesigns

I learned three new things this week:

1. My exhusband has a girlfriend
2. He also fucked around with her while we were married (that makes the count up to 4).
3. At some point in his life he had sex with a man. Finds this okay to tell the internet, but not his wife of 11 years.

MIND BOGGLING. Seriously, I cannot stop laughing about the insanity of it all.

EpWs

@Kirs GIRL. That is a week. Have yoself a drank and be glad you're away from that mess.

the roughest toughest frail

@Kirs Oh, honey. Have all the drinks. Drink until you no longer remember his name, your name, whatever.

PomoFrannyGlass

@Kirs I found my ex-husband's OKCupid profile this week. Thankfully, there was little for me to learn on it (or even to mock, it's standard-issue to the point of boring), and I've already had my OKC divorce rebound, so I've been there/done that/he won't see or judge my profile. Laughter is the only response (so yay you!), and it does go very well with drink.

iceberg

Dog got hit by a car last week, I think I am being friend-dumped, and Lady Times arrived with a vengeance yesterday. But I did get a Toblerone, so there's that.

frigwiggin

@iceberg No! Your dog! I'm so so sad for you and your dog. :(

redheaded&crazy

@iceberg Oh no ... I'm scared to ask if your dog is okay but I hope he is.

whateverlolawants

@iceberg Aw no! That's horrible.

Cat named Virtute

@iceberg Oh no! Big hugs to you.

iceberg

@redheaded&crazie No, he didn't make it : (

Lady_Terminator

@iceberg I'm so sorry for your loss. :( :( *hugs if you want them*

olivebee

@iceberg I am so, so sorry about your dog! So many hugs to you!

PistolPackinMama

@iceberg Oh god. I am sorry! :(

errata stigmata

@iceberg I'm so sorry for your loss! Dogs' lives are too heartbreakingly short as it is... I'm sure he was loved and happy in his time.

redheaded&crazy

@iceberg :( I'm sorry for your loss as well. That is the worst. *hugs hugs hugs*

Xanthophyllippa

@iceberg Come climb into the Giant Vat of Hot Chocolate and Sympathy. There's plenty of room.

Hellcat

@iceberg Oh, man. I'm so sorry to read this. Internet hug to you.

TheLetterL

@iceberg I'm so sorry! About your dog, about the friend dump, and about the vengeful Lady Times. Have all the Toblerones. All of them.

NeverOddOrEven

@iceberg
So sorry. I just lost my cat/best friend/most co-dependent relationship ever from cancer. Which I didn't know existed until the day we had to put him down.
He was sick for a while though, so I had some time to come to terms with the possibility which has really helped.
I'm so sorry you didn't get that. Huge hugs.

Hellcat

@NeverOddOrEven Oh, man, I'm so sorry. PETS, MAN! It is too hard! None of the ways of losing them ever seems like the "right" way, really (obviously). Even when I had no choice but to put down my very sickly Edgar, I knew it had to be done for him, but still... you know? I'm sorry, you guys.

My cat is having some trouble now. It isn't so much physical but in the last few months, I've seen her mental state deteriorate in obvious ways. She's safe and comfortable now for the most part, but she's just not right, and I don't know what's to come. I've been thinking about it a lot, which is why maybe two of my other past cats showed up in a dream last night. I am corny, but maybe it was a "don't worry so much" message? Maybe it was for you guys too--like "we're all 'up here' together and we're OK' kind of thing. Corny, I know.

Myrtle

@Hellcat I don't think it's corny, and no 'Pinner will, either. My former F.U.R. visits me in my dreams, but I'm pretty sure it's more to check that I didn't get another cat, than from affection. Well, maybe 60/40.
I'm sure your Kitteh knows you love her.

Hellcat

@Myrtle ell, thank you. I like to to think the dream sightings are visits now and then, even if they still make me cry a little bit.

Is here a good place to confess that I actually had an appointment once with a pet psychic? It was after my 17-year-old cat died. Maybe I was acting crazy with grief but that was one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced and it made me feel better.

Myrtle

@Hellcat That you had this good experience, is the only important thing.

Myrtle

@iceberg I'm so sorry for your loss, Iceberg. You're in my thoughts.

whateverlolawants

@iceberg I'm so sorry about your dog.

laurel

@iceberg: I am sorry about your doggie, Iceberg. If you'd like to tell us about your pup or post pictures to Pinpets, I'd be interested.

camanda

Guys guys guys! Hey guys! I got a promotion!

I know I just said two weeks ago I didn't get a promotion, but I got this one. It's not full-time (as we get closer to Christmas I'll probably be working 40+ a week, though, anyway), but it is a guaranteed 20 hours plus benefits and it is more responsibility -- lead pricing associate in my store. So that's cool.

I celebrated by buying a handbag, this one, in black, and I only spent $33. I had a coupon and I couldn't find any shoes I like so my brain automatically went "HANDBAGS!" and there you go.

billie_crusoe

@camanda YAY benefits! Congratulations!

sarah girl

@camanda Congrats, and cute bag!! Although I kind of wish you'd gotten the first crazy-color one...

camanda

@billie_crusoe Thank you!

@Sarah H. Thanks! I love the crazy-color one, too, but "sadly" the store only had black. Dress code at work is all black, so it works better, really, but: crazy colors!

sarantium@twitter

Earlier this week, I booked flights to go visit my boyfriend. I am excited -- I haven't seen him in six weeks -- but also incredibly nervous. This is the first time I've been in a long-distance relationship, and: what if he doesn't think I'm attractive anymore? What if he doesn't love me? (We shall ignore, for the sake of argument, that he sent an "I love you" text all of nine hours ago.) What if what if what if.

(It maybe doesn't help that this visit was basically my decision; he doesn't have the money to visit me, and is coping significantly better with the whole long-distance thing.)

Also: what do I wear?!? I'm really, really not femme, but I also want him to think I'm really hot when he meets me at the airport. I barely own clothes that are not jeans and a t-shirt.

realtalk

@sarantium@twitter wear something you feel hot and awesome in!! and if you WANT to experiment with more femme-y looks, I find that wearing cute earrings and a necklace goes a loooong way. like, even with jeans and a t-shirt.

also take a breath, he still loves you, and the long distance thing gets easier with time. is it indefinite? or for the summer? or what?

EpWs

@sarantium@twitter He hasn't seen you in six weeks! He will be beyond thrilled to see you regardless of what you're wearing, and you'll be so happy to see him you won't care. :) Travel clothes: you, but comfy and maybe a step up from regular clothes? Think dark-wash jeans, a shirt you love, and a cardigan. Flats or cute sneakers, no tennis shoes. (They're a pain to get on and off at security anyway.) Musts when I fly: easily-smushed outerwear (like a cardigan), SOCKS, keep some concealer and deodorant and a hairbrush in your carry-on.
edit: also, YES. EARRINGS. NECKLACE.

Exciting! Yay! This will be a fun trip!

romastrega

@sarantium@twitter My on-again/off-again long distance BF just bought my ticket last night to visit him in a month. I went for the first time in late May and had the same fears! Don't worry, it was slightly awkward when he picked me up at the airport & we were both a bit shy but all the old feelings & our usual manner kicked in that night.
And I had the same clothes worry as you do! I just wore something that I was comfortable in and that he once complimented me on & he said I looked great as soon as he saw me. It was uber sexy or anything, it was just me.
Good luck!

themmases

@sarantium@twitter Awww, I'm sure you will have so much fun! I was in a long distance relationship (although not far enough I had to fly) for allllll of college and I would freak out that I had gained or lost a bunch of weight and not noticed but he would notice because he hadn't seen me in a while and OMG must save all the good underwear for every 3rd weekend and have alllll the caffeine so I won't pass out after getting up early to pack and driving for hours to see him...

Anyway, all of that never happened. Except the falling asleep early, but whatever. He was always happy to see me, he never thought I looked weird, and although we eventually broke up it was not because of the distance. Oh, and the sex was always fun because absence makes the... absent people that much more desperate to have sex with each other.

The Lady of Shalott

@sarantium@twitter LDRs suck balls, and it's pretty normal to have nervies getting ready to go! But seriously, you will be so excited to see each other that it totes won't matter. And I say this as someone who is currently in a LDR that involves months and months of being apart with no internet and only phone for speaking to each other. It sucks but being together will be SO SO SO AWESOME!

stuffisthings

@sarantium@twitter My girlfriend is coming to the US for the year after a year of separation (we last saw each other for a week and a half in April) and I couldn't be more excited. I'm sure your dude feels the same way!

The Lady of Shalott

@stuffisthings Also, is this thread the right place to complain? One of my friends has been whining and bitching and moaning at me because she's going to be separated from her brand-new girlfriend for three weeks. "Ohhh I'm going to miss her SOOO MUCH" and "We can't stand being apart!!!" and I kind of want to clock her, because I don't know why out of all her friends she's chosen me to complain about this to! Yes, I know that LDRs suck, but it's three weeks and they'll be back together and UGH GRATING ON MY NERVES.

realtalk

@The Lady of Shalott after a 1-year-together-then-9-months-of-long-distance-relationship that recently went up in flames, YUP, everyone last summer who was like "HOW WILL I SURVIVE FOR A MONTH/TWO MONTHS/THREE MONTHS" was the worrrrrrrrst and also not comparable to a situation where you have no idea when/if you'll be in the same place again. Or also if it's a ton longer. 3 weeks is NOTHING, jfc.

SORRY TO BITCH ABOUT LDRS ON A HAPPY LDR THREAD! @sarantium@twitter, they can be the worst but also the best, and don't be nervous, it'll feel so great to be in the same place as your boy :)

Reginal T. Squirge

@The Lady of Shalott

I don't think three weeks counts as a/an LDR.

realtalk

@Reginal T. Squirge god, for real. that is like, an extended vacation. that is barely long enough for apples to go bad in your fridge. that is a tiny blip in your life. UGH.

stuffisthings

Right now my girlfriend is keeping the relationship alive by sending me context-free, humorously autocorrected texts about the Olympic opening ceremonies. "that giant newborn is proper scary" "carrots of fire music now"

The Lady of Shalott

@realtalk I keep wanting to shout at her because I gently pointed out "hey three weeks is not that long, you'll be with family and friends and you'll be back together before you know it" and she was all "BUT I'M GOING TO MISS HER SOOOO MUUUUUCH WE'VE NEVER BEEN APART FOR THAT LONG BEFORE OMG."

That is why I'm wanting to punch her a little.

Bittersweet

@The Lady of Shalott Ugh, my slap upside the head hand is getting twitchy. Girrrrrrrrl, quit it already.

realtalk

guys I have been on two completely stellar dates in the last week and i'm seeing them both again this weekend and my stomach is doing flipflops everywhere and I only have three more weeks of work at this job before I leave to do things that are more interesting and I'M HAVING SUCH A GOOD WEEK.

realtalk

@realtalk the one I'm seeing tomorrow is completely hot and EXTREMELY sexually compatible and also a feminist and a cute nerd and he's coming over to hot-tub with me :) :) :) and the one I'm seeing tonight is so easy to talk to and adorable and we're seeing one of my favorite bands :) :) :)

sarantium@twitter

@realtalk eeeee! Have a good time!

queenieliz

@realtalk ahh! How will you choose? They both sound excellent, have fun!

Lady_Terminator

@queenieliz she doesn't have to choose! for now! enjoy the shit out of both of them.

realtalk

@queenieliz haha I have NO IDEA but I think I won't have to choose for a while! I'm super not looking for a relationship, more just people to date, and I think both of them are sort of in the same place. one more than the other, maybe. idk, it's early days, we'll see what happens but it's just SO NICE to have all these butterflies and fun feelings and TO BE HONEST AND TOTALLY TMI, better sex than I've had in a while/maybe ever?

wharrgarbl

My job is changing drastically, but I don't get to find out how until Monday. And I'm going to New Orleans for a vacation come February. I think between the two alternating emotional states, I'm going to murder this weekend like it was a six-fingered man.

wharrgarbl

@Reginal T. Squirge Nope! Friend's getting married. Fortunately not on Mardi Gras, because I would literally rather drive my car straight into the Gulf than navigate New Orleans during a Mardi Gras immediately following a Super Bowl. We're getting into town later that week, after most of the huge-party crowd should have dissipated.

Reginal T. Squirge

It's a long shot but I may be there for Mardi Gras this year.

Mardi Gras is simultaneously highly underrated and highly overrated. But for different reasons.

wharrgarbl

@Reginal T. Squirge Best of luck! It looks like it's going to be completely mad this year. I could barely do Key West during Easter weekend, so I'm glad to be missing most of the crush.

whateverlolawants

@wharrgarbl Shoot, I cannot imagine a Mardi Gras after the Super Bowl. We had the Super Bowl here this year and it was very fun, but I was also okay with it when everyone went home. And Indy doesn't, you know, have the party atmosphere of NOLA. Does anyone?

frigwiggin

Quick, everybody! I'm going to be in Minneapolis next week for a conference! WHAT IS GOOD THERE. I will be at the Hilton near the convention center and I need to figure out a) some eats and b) some good times for the evening so I don't just read in my hotel room for four nights running.

PistolPackinMama

@frigwiggin HI THERE HELLO MINNEAPOLIS MINNIE PINNIE??????????? (say yes, please say yes)

Near the Hilton: Hell's Kitchen for breakfast.

Close enough: French Meadow Bakery

Walker Art Center sculpture garden

MIA has Rembrandt in America going at the mo and it is GOOD.

The farmer's markets are super fun to walk around, the Mpls one is near downtown

Go have a drink at the Guthrie Theater building. You don't need tickets to a show (although- show!), and the view off the terrace is Ah-MAZING.

NO REALLY WANNA HAVE A MINNIE PINNE?!

SheWhoReadsInSkirts

@frigwiggin OHOHOH!

Go to Uncommon Grounds! The transit in Minneapolis is not bad, and Uncommon Grounds has Orgasmic Chais and while they are overpriced, they are friggin aptly named.

You could try going on a riverboat cruise, though I don't know how much free time you'll have. I had SO MUCH FUN on our riverboat cruise. The Mississippi is pretty, and it reminds you that major cities can still have ecosystems and shit. We saw BATS!

frigwiggin

@PistolPackinMama Yeah, let's do it! If you want to hang out with a non-drinking doofus! I'm also hanging out with another online friend who is COINCIDENTALLY going to the same conference and we freaked out when we realized.

@SheWhoReadsInSkirts Haha, I already mapped it since I remembered that both you and Braden suggested it. It's ~3 miles from the hotel room, so I dunno if that'll be too far to walk on my own in the evening (guh I hate feeling nervous about being on my own in a new city), but I really want to try for it.

PistolPackinMama

@frigwiggin What days are you going to be there? I am out of town starting Friday 3 Aug. but am around before that any night you like. Or for lunch.

And I can be a non-drinking doofus as easily as a drinking one.

OH MY GOD. Are you an ice cream eating doofus? Because if so, we should go to Izzy's. Oh yeah. They do soy creams as well as dairy.

Also- jet me a note at kathleen dot allison dot teresa at the gmail. Any other MPLS-ers out there, you too, if you want to minnie pinnie so you don't have to keep coming back here to back and forth.

I can post something on the hairpin pinups page, too, when there's some more clarity about what's going on.

pointy

@frigwiggin Once in similar circumstances I found myself at Mayday books - a radical bookstore near the UMN campus. Then I had Somali food nearby. It was a few years ago so I don't know how current this info is but that seemed to be a cool block with some venues and such on it. It was close to light rail.

PistolPackinMama

@pointy Yeah, it's about the same...

t-square

@frigwiggin You don't have to walk there - Minneapolis public transit is SO EASY! I don't actually live there but was there for an extended weekend recently and LOVED every second of it. If you have any daytime free time, I loved the Mill City Museum for some state/city history, and I second Hell's Kitchen, especially for breakfast.

frigwiggin

@PistolPackinMama Email'd!

@pointy Ahhh, Somali food? That sounds amazing! Gonna check that out for sure. (I'm actually kind of grumpy that the conference feeding us lunch two of the four days, I'd rather go find my own and get a break from conferencing.)

@t-square Oh, sweet! For some reason public transit rarely occurs to me (probably because the only time I ever really used it was the four years I was in college) but I'll look up how best to get there...

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama OH MAN I want to come too but there's the whole 4-hour drive thing and staying over and why can't I live closer?!

pointy

@frigwiggin Yeah, the Twin Cities actually have a huge Somali population, something to do with Lutheran refugee placement services. So I think Somali food is not particularly rare there.

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa Well, if you do want to come up for a couple of days and need a place to crash, I can offer you a spare room. Can't help with the drive, though, unfortunately. I would if I could!

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama Hmm. Will consider it. I could always do Megabus -- how far out of the city are you?

@pointy There's a huge Hmong population down here for a similar reason - Milwaukee was one of the placement centers for Hmong immigrants.

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa Shoot me a note? You have my email, yes?

NeverOddOrEven

@frigwiggin
Got the addresses of your To and From? Boom http://metrotransit.org/TripPlanner/Default.aspx

NeverOddOrEven

@frigwiggin
You could always pop into a show at First Ave or The 7th Street Entry. And if there's nothing interesting there or it's sold out, The Depot is their newish bar right next door.
Also, head south on Nicolette ave and you're on Eat Street, with blocks and blocks of back-to-back restaurants. All sorts of cuisines, but a solid Vietnamese selection. Quang's on 28th/Nicolette is my favorite.
Similarly, if you have time during the day, you can just wander up and down Nicolette Mall, which is lots of shops and restaurants. There's a free bus that runs up and down it too. This is where you'll find the Mary Tyler Moore statue and an awesome Target with cart escalators. Also where my husband's place is, The Local. It's a beautiful, huge, Irish Pub. Food is pretty standard stuff, but he does amazing work with their specials.

NeverOddOrEven

@frigwiggin
Oooh, and Candyland. Go to Candyland. It's right off of Nicolette Mall and 8th st.

Xanthophyllippa

@frigwiggin I might be joining you.

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa Woop woop woop!

EpWs

I'm finally moved in! (For the second time this summer, but for reals this time.) And it's lovely to be UNPACKED and have all these WALLS and such. So, Hairpin, send me your links to the best nerdy/pop cultur-y/generally awesome poster purveyors you know. Etsy or elsewhere, I'm an equal opportunity poster-er.

The Lady of Shalott

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I'm just jumping in because I also want links to those things! Also, what are people's favourite home-items store? Sheets, kitchen goods, shelves, decorations, whatevs, I'm easy!

meetapossum

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I want all the Postertext posters.

EpWs

@The Lady of Shalott You already know mine, but for anyone else: I am a huge fan of Home Goods/TJ Maxx (best sheets I ever bought were from there), I buy more basics from Target than I should, I am still hunting for beds from Ikea, and I am in love with sale sections from most other places.
Current favorite thing: basic wall shelves from Target. $15 for a two-pack, about 18" long, install really quickly, and now I can PUT SHIT ON MY WALLS.

EpWs

@meetapossum Whoa.
@frigwiggin I don't know why your comment disappeared, but those prints are lovely!

WhiskeySour

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
I don't know if you're into comics or comic book characters, but I absolutely adore the posters at superherodinos.com

meetapossum

Woops! Repsonded to something different.

But yeah, they're awesome! And pretty reasonably priced for how awesome they are.

EpWs

@WhiskeySour OH MY GOD. I must have them.

laurel

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher: I'm very pro-shelves. Let's put everything up (/makes raising the roof gesture)!

EpWs

@laurel #Let'sAllPutUpShelves?

EpWs

BTW, I just ordered two posters (a Harry Potter one for me, a Portal one for the boyf) from BlimpCat on Etsy!

laurel

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher: I'm telling you, one entire wall of my kitchen is floor-to-ceiling shelves, around a window, filled with cookbooks, pretty serving pieces, houseplants, glass jars full of beans and grains, a random bowl for throwing keys and phones in, stacks of kitchen towels and napkins, a couple of oil paintings, etc. It's the best. Also, I apparently like horizontal rows of things?

I've got a shelves above my bed with the lowest one meeting my headboard (so, technically my bed is the shelf depth away from the wall). It is the best for keeping lamps, books, the humidifier, my phone doc/speaker thingy, etc., and hugely facilitates breakfast in bed, which is a surprisingly strong motivator in my home decorating. #Let'sAllPutUpAllTheShelves

EpWs

@laurel I am SO UNBELIEVABLY JEALOUS. I have to make my own shelves. Which is okay! It's just time consuming.

runner in the garden

@meetapossum ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god

All lions are fierce

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher That's fun! One time in high school I tried to make my own shelves? My dad ended up rescuing me and to this day there are some awesome but very lavender shelves over my bed, thanks in no part to my shop-working abilities. Thanks, dad!

laurel

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher: It is time consuming to put them up so they're strong and level, but it also so helps with finding a place for alll the things which is a think I struggle with, what with having a small house. Also, I like things to be minimalist but I also like to be able to see the things I have and use as opposed to having lots of purely decorative objects.

EpWs

@All lions are fierce Clarification: by "make my own shelves" I mean "buy wall shelves from Target and install them because I don't have built-ins."

I have learned that the key to life is owning your own cordless drill.

Hellcat

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Why don't more places have built-ins, damn it? This is not a new lament of mine, and I just don't know why it can't be a thing that your standard apartments and condos do! Come on, man.

Faintly Macabre

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher HoooomeGooooodds!! I used to work across the street from a TJMaxx AND a TJMaxx HomeGoods. It was bliss. 95% of my kitchenware is either from HomeGoods or Goodwill.

EpWs

@Faintly Macabre OOH. I'm jealous. The HomeGoods and the TJ Maxx are on opposite sides of town here, so I can't blissfully wander through both in one trip and spend all my money.

...that might be a good thing, now that I think about it.

churlishgreen

Hey Hairpin: sorry to be a drag on the open thread, but does anyone have advice for when a person you love is seriously depressed but won't take any steps to make it better?

In this case, the person is my recently widowed father. He has, obviously, reason to be depressed. But he is caught in a vortex of negativity, he won't get the medical care he needs, he won't move out of his isolated home despite constantly talking about how lonely he is (he has the means to do so, and my sister and I have offered to help with everything including the packing up).

I don't live nearby but I visit often; my sister does live near him and she is ready to break from the pressure of everything (he wants to spend a lot of time with her, but he doesn't want to do anything or converse with anybody, just wants to sit and watch tv).

I am out of ideas at this point...

EpWs

@churlishgreen Unfortunately I don't have any advice, but I know what it's like to have a family member with depression, so just sending all the hugs and good thoughts your way, to you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss and for what you're going through now.

realtalk

@churlishgreen oh man, I have experience with this from a friend perspective, but not sure how much it applies to parents. because the thing is, you can't change people's minds. any chance you can get him into counseling to work through some of his grief? how recently did his wife pass away?

and also sending love because this is a shitty situation all around, especially since presumably you're dealing with your own grief about his wife (your mother? step mom? either way if you loved her it sucks).

redheaded&crazy

@churlishgreen i don't know if you've already brought this up and he's been resistant but maybe you could suggest bereavement counselling? It's usually in the form of group therapy, and could address his specific situation. I don't know how useful it is as a forum for meeting new people but I suppose there is that possibility as well.

churlishgreen

@realtalk @The Everpresent Wordsnatcher thanks so much.

He is actually seeing a bereavement counsellor but it's kind of sporadic, depending on his mood. She recommended an antidepressant, but when it didn't work miracles in the first 24 hours, he angrily decided it was not for him.

I realize there really isn't anything I can do, but it's like watching a slow-motion train wreck involving what's left of my family. Sometimes I am selfishly glad I live in another part of the country...

PistolPackinMama

@churlishgreen My advice is... if you have coverage, go see yourself a counselor. Same for your sister.

Not kidding. Your ability to help your dad is going to be limited, really. But helping yourself is going to make you better able to work within your restrictions.

And a counselor might have ideas, too.

I know from experience that this can really work sometimes.

And, I am so, so sorry.

Also it is NOT selfish to be glad you have distance. You need it, and so does your sister.

churlishgreen

@PistolPackinMama thanks. I've seen a counselor before about other issues, but maybe this is a good time to start up again.

ImASadGiraffe

@churlishgreen Just from my experience...I had a stepmom who died, and for a while my dad wanted to spend time with my sister and I, but literally did not want to do anything. He just wanted someone nearby, but didn't want to talk. For him, that was comforting.

He did end up going to see a grief counselor and that was helpful for him. I personally saw a counselor myself as well.

Hugs to you. It's really hard.

Oh, squiggles

@churlishgreen as someone who has struggled with depression, and loves someone struggling with depression I have so much sympathy for you. Honestly, depression is something that can only be fought by the person experiencing it. He is very lucky to have you be so supportive, but you should know that sometimes (and this sucks) you can't really do anything to help. So don't forget to take care of yourself, and your emotional needs, because it can be almost as challenging to love someone who is depressed as it is to be depressed yourself.

churlishgreen

@ImASadGiraffe thank you--it's helpful to know that this is a typical reaction for some people. I hope my dad keeps up with the counseling too, because it does seem to help when he goes.

churlishgreen

@Awesomely Nonfunctional thanks so much--this is so true. I've always been very close to my dad, but I am mortified to acknowledge that I can hardly bear to talk to him these days, even though I feel so bad for him. He's quite a bit older than my mom was, and never expected to be in this position.

vunder

@churlishgreen does he have any old friend that could go by regularly to try to talk with him, have a drink, watch sports, play chess? Someone willing to be a little assertive, but also someone his own age, who can speak to him/not speak to him in his same language? Alternately, if he has any religious affiliation, perhaps a pastor?

churlishgreen

@vunder These are excellent ideas. However, he's quite introverted, and as he's older, he has lost a fair number of friends. He does have some, including some who are also widowed, so that should be some useful empathy for him. But unfortunately he is spending more of his non-alone time with relatives who are sweet but also drink too much (and he's in Michigan, so he has to drive everywhere, and age+driving+booze=a bad combo).

And for good or for ill, he has vehemently rejected the Catholicism he was brought up with. I can't blame him, I've done the same thing, but I wish he would find a laid-back Unitarian or other congregation for the ritual and comfort. I don't think he's open to any kind of religious experience at this point, though.

harebell

@churlishgreen
Oh, I don't know - when I had a very big loss, religion & religious-minded folk used to make me furious, because they were always suggesting that it was okay that these people in my life had died, that it was somehow for a greater good or purpose -- and that still does seem completely wrong. Personally I also wasn't capable of activities for quite a while also because grief takes up so much energy, but it was helpful for me to find things that let me go in and out of focus, and that didn't seem petty and unimportant next to the grief. Music was really helpful, or sitting in the room with someone keeping company but not having to talk, drawing, and also -- it was huge -- just being outdoors in nature. So calming. If you or your sister can do that for him -- take him to a lakeshore or beach -- I bet that would be a beautiful day for him.

A R 3287

I am in a study abroad program and I'm pretty miserable. I hate being away from home and I don't really know why I came. I'm homesick and lonely and as a result I have been eating to cheer myself up and gaining weight. I am usually fairly thin and I admit I'm pretty vain and totally in love with my (usual) appearance. I used to have an eating disorder and I've been over it for a while, but I accidentally lost some weight at the beginning of this year and have been much more food focused, meal skipping etc. since then, but overall REALLY happy with how I look. But like I said I gained weight in the last week or two and HATE myself for it. It's hard when there is "interesting" foreign food around and when I can't hit the gym for hours at a time as I customarily do. I feel really bad and I've even been compulsively eating out of the combination of unhappiness, frustration with how I look, not being able to exercise etc. It's hard to separate the general unhappiness/homesickness from the weight related unhappiness. In my normal life I have PERFECT self control and never gain weight I don't want to and NEVER have trouble not eating compulsively and even lose weight not on purpose. I studied abroad five years ago when I was just coming off being anorexic, it was the same circumstance where I was homesick and nervous and unable to work out, and I gained at least 15 pounds and it was so depressing it sparked on a year of compulsive eating, more weight gain, abject misery. This CANNOT happen again. I'm too old for this shit! I just feel sad and lonely and nervous and out of control about my eating habits and appearance. Sorry for the whining overload.

billie_crusoe

@A R 3287 :((( I was homesick and miserable for all of the 2 years I lived in California, and that is the worst, especially when you're a home-body. When do you get to go home? Internet hugs!

whateverlolawants

@A R 3287 No whining overload! I just want to send you hugs. That's really rough, and I hope things balance out soon. My sister had an ED, and I know how hard from her experiences that it can be to stay "in recovery" or whatever.

twocats

@A R 3287 I'm so sorry! I was also really lonely and sad when I was studying abroad-- the good news is that it will end, that going home will feel SO GOOD, and that eventually you'll look back on this time as something that helped you grow somehow. My thoughts are with you!

Emma Peel

@A R 3287 It sounds like you are in such a tough spot right now, and I'm so sorry. Hugging. Is there someone in your study abroad program you can talk to? Counselors, student health, etc? It sounds like things are very rough right now, and it can't be easy to be dealing with that while also being lonely and homesick. The most important thing for you to do is take care of yourself, and beating yourself up over a week's weight gain when you're experiencing new foods and a new culture sounds like you might be slipping into some disordered thinking.

Can I ask what country you're in? I might be able to put you in touch with some people, or at least help you find some resources.

Again, hugs.

PistolPackinMama

@A R 3287 My mom always said "it takes till Christmas," meaning you need to give yourself several months to adjust and sometimes the homesickness is just overwhelming. (she would know 25 yrs military wife, introvert, homebody) And if it just sucks the whole time... well hey, you tried that. Good for you for trying it!

Also, when I have been abroad on my own and homesick and not loving the people I am with if I am with people, I go to church. Really. Not much of a believer, but Catholic masses are pretty much the same everywhere, and familiarity and routine are soothing. And if I can go to a monastery/convent with open services, usually Sister Mary Helpful will want to interact and they are sweet and show you how to use a missal/hymn book (I know, right?!).

My point is- go to the pictures and listen to the movie even if you can't follow the language, or buy lipstick or window shop for furniture or I dunno, shoes or sex toys, or whatever thing you do at home that is boring and routine and comforting.

It'll be OK.

Also, I am sorry about the body image stuff. Fixing your attention on that particular routine is totally understandable, even if it's not especially healthy.

Hot Doom

@PistolPackinMama Yes to everything you said, especially the taking it til Christmas, and looking for some sort of regularity. That regularity is key! Even just buying a new lipstick, as PistolPackinMama suggested, or going to a department store to poke at pillows and try on shoes can really help. And I'm a bit loathe to admit this, but going into transnational stores I'm already familiar with- like Ikea or Starbucks, can be really comforting.
This year, I went through some huge transitions: moved to a new continent to get my MA, still haven't found any real kindred spirits for friends after several months, GOT MARRIED, and miss my family and California weather like crazy. All that adds up to some serious insanity and anxiety (well, it has for me). I can totally empathise with how hard it is and how weird and scary it is to feel like you can't be in control of your body and have some of the old regularity. I definitely second checking out a church. I am also a mostly non-observing, non-church going person, but since I've been going through some hard times emotionally(and am amongst a bunch of atheists here, which is fine, but different from back home), I am going to check out a local church, just to feel a little familiarity.
Can you start running or going on long walks? Bike rides? They're not the same as going to the gym, but it can at least get you active and give you some time to either rock out to some music and shake your wiggles out, or get some thinking time in.
None of this may be new info, but I really hope you start feeling more comfortable!

A R 3287

Thanks sooooo much for the advice and sympathy!!!

I actually feel a lot better today. I think spewing all my negative feelings on here really helped. I slept in, dressed up in my favorite pretty dress, and went out to a museum, so I walked a lot, haven't eaten anything I didn't want to (much the opposite) and feel so much more like myself again. I really appreciate the
That is DEFINITELY something that resonates with me and that's helped me out in the past so I will make an effort to do that. Tomorrow is Sunday, too! Realistically, it's true that I can't have gained so much weight in the three weeks I've been here (less, because I just started noticing it a week ago) and I really should be able to lose it in the same amount of time. I go back home in time for the fall semester so I don't have that much longer here anyway.
Thanks again!!!

Bittersweet

@A R 3287 This really resonates with me, because while I learned a lot and grew as a person during my year abroad, it was a really tough time emotionally and personally for me. It was often a miserable experience, testing every reserve of confidence I had at the time, even though I made some awesome friends. Maybe just live through the few weeks/month you have left, and do what you've been doing - wear nice clothes, visit places, sleep in, eat good food. And walking! I never did so much walking as during my year abroad, and it was so therapeutic and kept me sane.

I'm gonna reiterate the advice about visiting places/traveling. 20 years later, the thing I most regret about my study abroad is not going to more nearby places. I lived in Geneva for a year, and never went to Italy, only 3 hours away by train. I still shake my head about that. But good luck! Thinking of you!

Chills

@A R 3287 Hey I hope you're ok, I know it is terrifying moving somewhere new and I know how this can affect your eating from my sister.
It sounds like the gym is something you have used for routine in the past, can you find somewhere to work out even though you're abroad? Or a English speaking work out group of some kind? It sounds like it would definitely be worth you looking for something like this, to get you in a more healthy/positive routine :)
And for now I offer internet hugs!

maybe partying will help

Guys. All I've had to eat today is green tea and dried mango. I really hope I can find someone to have dinner with later, or else I'm just going to go home and eat the rest of the jar of cookie butter.

And probably gin.

BUT am making plans to see Beasts of the Southern Wild this Sunday! Also a wild femme fatale has appeared in my story and I am unsure of her motives. o.O

frigwiggin

@maybe partying will help

Eat some real food! Some protein! Get peanut butter or hummus!

Also, yes to the movie! It is excellent! I will confirm what another pinner said, though--it is pretty shakey-cam-tastic at times and I got really motion sick and had to stare at my lap for part of it. I STILL thought it was great, though, so that tells you something.

miss buenos aires

@maybe partying will help Can we talk about cookie butter? I have been hearing so much about its delightfulness that I bought a jar yesterday and... well, it's no Nutella. My disappointment didn't stop me from eating half the jar while watching the pilot of Game of Thrones, but I wasn't blown away. Maybe I should eat some more right now. With a spoon.

maybe partying will help

@frigwiggin

Yeah, I can't wait to see it. I'm ok with shaky cam, the only time in the past that has bothered me was when I was stupidly sitting in the very front row of The Bourne Supremacy.

I DO have hummus at home! SAFE.

@miss buenos aires

I had a similar reaction. Nutella is still supreme, but cookie butter, well, I should probably eat some more so I can have a really informed opinion.

romastrega

@frigwiggin Me too! Saw it last weekend and I had to leave the theater at one point because I was feeling ill but overall, I liked it.

dtowngirl

@maybe partying will help Tell us more about this wild femme fatale.

wharrgarbl

@maybe partying will help It's finally shown up where I live! I'm going to see it with a friend on Monday. So excited!

maybe partying will help

@dtowngirl

Ohhh it was one of those things where you think the story is finished and then you hear a song and it gets stuck in your head and then you have to write a scene around it and then there are eleven new pages of script and oh, who is this lady?

Her name is Sandrine. All I got so far.

dtowngirl

@maybe partying will help That sounds awesome! I love when new characters creep out.

lora.bee

@maybe partying will help WHAT THE CLUCK IS COOKIE BUTTER

trappedinabay

@miss buenos aires Oh, I'm about to blow your mind. Get yourself some shortbread cookies, and make a cookie sandwich using the shortbread and the speculoos. Shortbread, smear of speculoos, shortbread. NOM!

maybe partying will help

@lora.bee

Trader Joe's makes it! It's like Nutella but made of cookies! Or stuff that tastes like cookies! GINGERSNAP COOKIES!

Guys I have a peanut butter sandwich and it's great. Eating, I need to remember to do that when my gentledude isn't around to provide reasons to cook.

Cat named Virtute

This is my last weekend living in Montreal for a while, and it's giving me the sads.

PLUS after months of depression and fruitless jobhunting and burning out of grad school and eventually deciding to move home for a while, yesterday I went to the library to print out transfer forms for my lease, and when I got out, I had a voicemail callback for a job here I applied two months ago. Thanks for the kick in the pants, universe.

whateverlolawants

@Cat named Virtute Wow, talk about salt in a wound! I remember you telling us all this and I hope things pick up for you soon. Hugs.

mirah

@Cat named Virtute

Hi, do I know you? I think I know you.

Anyway, if you are the wonderful person I think you are, I just wanna reiterate what I said the other day: you'll get through it!

There will be more jobs and more time for grad school, so don't let your current situation get you down. It'll get better!

p.s. this will be really crazy if you are another person altogether.
p.p.s. also i want to add that even if i don't know you, i still hope all the same good things will happen to/for you.

Cat named Virtute

@mirah Ha, maybe! Is your commenter name your real name? Did you go to McGill? Thanks so much for the nice words either way.

olivebee

@Cat named Virtute Seconding whateverlolawants: hope things get better soon!

mirah

@Cat named Virtute

Yes, and yes!

Cat named Virtute

@mirah That's funny, I don't think I do know you. But it's good to hear that I'm not alone, and I appreciate your kind words, and everyone else's. :-)

mirah

@Cat named Virtute

Yeah, I realized I probably didn't know you when I saw you were going for your MLIS. My friend in a similar situation is doing her MA.

But good luck! Hopefully you will be back in Montreal and enjoying a nice 5 à 7 on the terrasse soon!

phillystout

I just placed an order for an Italian hoagie from the deli down the block, and I don't know if I can wait the 15 minutes before I pick it up. Someone put a bucket under my chin, the drooling is out of control.

charlesbois

@phillystout omg omg that looks increds. Now I know what I'm suggesting for dinner tonight.

Faintly Macabre

@phillystout Oooooh, I drive past that area multiple times a week. I might have to go.

phillystout

@Faintly Macabre Definitely check it out - the guys in there are super friendly and will fill you up on freshly sliced samples of meat and cheese while you wait. It's tiny in there, though, and it can get cramped when there's more then 5 or 6 people waiting.

phillystout

zomg this hoagie is everything I've ever dreamed of in convenient sandwich form

ba-na-nas

@phillystout As a native Philadelphian who now lives in NYC, this sandwich may require a roadtrip. Oh my golly, that looks good!

phillystout

@ba-na-nas As a native NYer (Long Island) who now lives in Philadelphia, I gotta say, this town has their sandwich game on lock.

ba-na-nas

@phillystout truth.

The Maple Kind

I've been thinking a lot this week. I'm wondering if my boyfriend and I are going in the same direction. I talked to my therapist about our troubles communicating and trusting, and he recommended a book and some therapy that would help us operate more as a unit. The more he told me about it, the more I thought that wasn't what I wanted, that it scared me, that it didn't feel right. The therapist said there was nothing wrong with that and he wanted me to think about whether his suggestion actually matched what I wanted.

So that was kind of confusing. I also told him about our difficult conversations recently and he said it was great and I'd made progress. I guess I have, but I don't feel so great either. Neither does my boyfriend. I guess I'd just like my boyfriend to be someone special, but not someone I feel so responsible for, and not someone I have to see as much or be as emotionally invested in. Meanwhile, I think he wants as much of me as he can- to be his forever, to see me more, etc.

I guess I need to a) see if I can stop beating myself up over supposedly not meeting his needs (my words, not his), b) stop taking so much responsibility over everything in the relationship, and c) see if backing off of this could work. I just find setting boundaries harder in this circumstance. I love him and we've been together for a year. It's hard to take a step back without really hurting him or breaking up, which I don't think I want. At least not yet- I want to give this a try. But I'm still young (finding myself, becoming independent, etc.) and need room to breathe and time for myself and time for my friends. (It's even harder to tell him I need more space when he's unemployed and lonely.)

adorable-eggplant

@The Maple Kind Those are hard feelings! What helps me the most with this kind of stuff is repeating to myself, "I'm responsible for my own happiness." Everybody is. And the trick (for me) is that I find it easier to acknowledge about other people than for myself. Because when you're responsible for your own happiness, it means making tough choices that might (temporarily) hurt someone else.

Also, sometimes it can feel good to feel like a savior for someone who's a bit of a mess, but then feeling obligated to stay in that role can be suffocating. I think it probably comes from underestimating people. I had an ex who I was pretty sure would become a helpless junkie puddle if I were to leave him, but in fact he's really happy and productive and clean and has a wonderful girlfriend who's over the moon about him. Sooo people don't always crumble, and if they do, they then get to benefit from the experience of rebuilding themselves (which I say from experience, having been dumped/crushed myself).

Whatever you do, best of luck. :)

The Maple Kind

@adorable-eggplant That's a good point, and thanks for your response. I don't know how much I do the "savior" thing, but I definitely worry about him being out there without as much emotional support as I give. I hope he would be okay. He's been through a lot lately, but he's also managed to get by for years without his family, weathering many storms. So I suppose he could. The whole idea of pulling back but staying a couple has me worried. Does that ever work?

I also worry that when I don't really want to see my boyfriend of a year, that's a bad sign. It's not that I want to actively avoid him, really- I just need some time to myself and don't want to see him right now. I haven't said so explicitly, as things have been getting in the way of us seeing each other for several days anyway, but frankly, I've been glad. I wonder what that says about me. Us. :/

adorable-eggplant

@The Maple Kind Trust your intuition has always worked for me (which is to say, whenever I've had an intuition and ignored mine, that's always been something I ended up really regretting). If you want more time apart, that's a totally valid desire. It sounds like maybe there are a lot of demands on you in this relationship and perhaps a lot of burden, which is not 100% unreasonable (everyone could use some extra support sometimes) but it's also totally reasonable to need some space of your own too. Sounds like maybe an issue of balance or caregiver burnout (especially if you've been feeling guilty about wanting to spend time on yourself). If the relationship is important to you, then maybe one way of nurturing it would be to make sure you're getting the alone time you need to feel happy when you are spending time together.

As far as what works, that's just another thing you have to trust your intuition about. I've gotten myself in trouble by worrying too much about how a relationship ought to look (rather than how it should feel), so I'd say maybe worry less about what works for other people, because you're not them, soooo.... yeah.

Good luck with this. :)

adorable-eggplant

@The Maple Kind Also, it may not have been clear from my answer, so I'm going to put it more explicitly: time for yourself, that's a necessity. I'd put it somewhere between food and air. If I didn't have time to draw/read/stare at a wall then I would be a hot mess. So take that time: it's non-negotiable. Frame it like a vacation. Say you need to do X activity (hot bath, read book) and have an evening(s) of being a hermit. :)

Inkling

I just found out!! YOU CAN LEND E-BOOKS BETWEEN KINDLES. Does anyone want to trade ebooks with meeee??

In other news:
-Evo-psych virgin is the lamest,
-I got a job as a waitress, and
-In light of a neighborhood dog killing one of the neighbor's coopless chickens, I'm going to repo the chickens and take care of them. Woo.

maybe partying will help

@Inkling

Evo-psych virgin sounds like the lamest. o.O

themmases

@Inkling I don't have a very big Kindle library (I just have the app and most of my stuff is epub), but there is a Kindle lending library thread at the SHAREPIN! Yes, many people want to trade books :D

JadedStone

@Inkling I... I MIGHT be the sort of person who takes the DRM off her books so she can send them to everybody she knows.

*cough*...Would you like free books?

the roughest toughest frail

@Jade are you posting them on the Sharepin? Or, yanno, distributing to the masses?

JadedStone

@abetterfate I was GOING to stand on a corner with a trenchcoat and whisper at passersbyers...

email?
I dunno. They're small files. An email group? I have no idea. All I know is I have TONS of awesome e-books which I feel others would enjoy reading.

realtalk

@Jade oh man count me in, i'm always looking for kindle books to read!!

Inkling

@Jade
I would like free books yes O.O (please) I want more mystery/fantasy/slice-of-life before college resumes and I have to read assigned stuff! How does this... actually work?

@themmases
Ooh great, I will check that out after work!

billie_crusoe

I have an office at school! Never mind that it's a tiny grad student office with no window, I don't have to share it! I think about decorating said office a lot while I work all the hours I can at my shitty retail job for the next month.

I'm trying to decide whether to keep shitty retail job during the school term. I'd like to be able to pick up hours at the holidays, but I also have an assistantship and 3 classes. School has never been hard for me, so I think I could pull off one day a week. I'm buying a new-new car in September, once my assistantship money comes in, and it would be nice to bring home an extra $200-$300 a month. But I also hate the job. I think I'll try it for the first few weeks, and if things get too busy, I won't really feel guilty about not giving a 2 week notice because it's such a huge, shitty retail store.

whateverlolawants

@billie_crusoe Try it, you can always quit. Maybe there's a less shitty retail store where you could work, too?

like a rabid squirrel

@billie_crusoe Congrats on the office! I dream of an office that I do not have to share with others, but I'm at least a couple years away. How are you decorating?

billie_crusoe

@olliegrace Thanks! I think I will probably have to share next year; I just lucked out this year because there aren't many PhD students this year (which also has its down-sides).

Decorating, I don't know!?! Priority #1 is not-flourescent lighting. I'm trying to act all cool, "Whatever, an office, I'm not excited," but I am excited! But I need cheap decorating because of buying a car. Fun!

@whateverlolawants I think so too. I don't want to apply for other jobs without being sure I can commit. And also I get a super-discount on running shoes at this job, which is nice since I go through them fast. Yeah, it's cheap shoes keeping me here :P

HeyMatilda

I had TWO interviews this week after not hearing anything from anyone for months, one of which has turned into a second meeting with one company this afternoon. I know that's only half the battle but it's nice to have something to look forward to.

cd
cd

since reading the article about traveling alone, I have been trying to plan a road trip! I'm off from work the last week of august (cant move the dates, must take off) and trying to figure something out. WHERE SHOULD I GO?! I live in NYC and have about 10 days off. I have a friend I could probably crash with in New Orleans so I've been playing around with the idea of that being the ultimate destination with stops along the way. mostly I've just been playing around with google maps at work but I really want to get some sort of loose plan together so I can talk someone into accompanying me. any insight to places worth seeing, places to staying, the possibility of camping along the way to save some money, reasonable distances to travel in the days available, ANYTHING would be much appreciated! for what its worth, I've been to New Orleans twice before and loved it, have been to Savannah and loved it, and aside from Europe and Vegas I've mostly only traveled along the east coast. here are some routes I've been thinking of:

NYC - roanoke - knoxville - chattanooga - birmingham - tuscaloosa - new orleans = 22.75 hrs
most direct/shortest route, not sure how interesting.

NYC - roanoke - knoxville - nashville - memphis- jackson - new orleans = 25 hrs
added in memphis and that allows you to cut through nashville. would love to see those cities.

NYC - DC - richmond - through carolinas - savannah - jacksonville - tallahassee - pensacola - mobile - new orleans = 25 hours
added in savannah and DC which means you to drive down east coast through carolinas, which I've been to many times before.

billie_crusoe

@cd I am biased because I live in TN and Nashville and Memphis are old hat to me, but I really liked Birmingham and think that is maybe more interesting than west TN. Also, Knoxville to Memphis is looooong and boring. But if you want to see Nashville and Memphis, they are probably more interesting than I am making them out to be. Also, if you need a place to stay around Knoxville, holla (chenoa dot allen at gmail dot com). I've done Rutland, VT to Knoxville in one day, and it was miserably long. NYC to Knoxville might be doable, though.

phillystout

@cd I've driven from NYC to NOLA twice, and my advice is to take the NYC - roanoke - knoxville - nashville - memphis- jackson - new orleans route. Having driven up and down 95 numerous times (family in FL), just the thought of doing it again irritates the hell outta me. Plus, by going through VA and NE Tennessee on 81, you pass through some jaw-droppingly beautiful mountains. Not to mention the great cultures (especially food!) of Tennessee and Mississippi!

cd
cd

@billie_crusoe awesome, thanks so much for the offer! when I get some real plans laid out you'll be hearing from me :] are Memphis & Nashville that boring, or just very touristy? When I was mapping it, google shot me right through Roanoke but I think you're right, it might be better just to push through from NYC to Knoxville on the first leg. Anything you'd suggest seeing in particular?

@phillystout that's what I was thinking too. going straight down the 95 doesn't sound very appealing. plus I think I've got a pretty good feel of the east coast already, so I'm more interested in Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana etc. I'm also thinking of stopping off in West Virginia as opposed to Virginia. Anything in particular you'd suggest seeing/eating/staying in any of these places?

phillystout

@cd It's been a few years, but here's some places that I remember:
Jackson - Two Sisters' Kitchen for classic Southern style food
We never ate in Knoxville but we did take pictures in front of the World's Fair Globe (we're Simpsons geeks).
Roanoke: my google-fu is failing me but there was a really laid back pizza place with rooftop seating and a fantastic view. Cannot for the life of me remember the name, maybe some Roanoke pinners know what I'm talking about?
As for Memphis/Nashville, billie_crusoe probably has better advice than I do! We really liked B&C barbecue in Nashville, though.

billie_crusoe

@cd I am probably just being grumpy (I am more of a "small, historic city" person, which is why I like Birmingham), and you should totally see Nashville and Memphis, especially if you're into music - Beale Street, Grand Ole Opry, etc. I actually haven't done much tourist stuff in either city; my dad grew up in Memphis and my aunt lives in gritty, slightly-unsafe neighborhoods so we always did weird local things. Memphis BBQ is fab.

Agreed that 81 through VA/TN is gorgeous. If you've never visited these mountains, you might want to time your trip so that you at least get to drive through them in daylight. The Smokies are a bit out of the way if you're coming from NE TN to Knoxville (maybe 30-45 minutes off the interstate, so not too bad unless there's traffic, which can be awful), but the mountains around Abingdon and Bristol are just as pretty. Abingdon is a pretty cool town, with the Barter Theatre ("one of the longest running professional theatres in the nation") and Martha Washington Inn (NOT a cheap place to stay, but pretty to look at). Once you get to Knoxville, you're pretty much out of the mountains. As far as food in Knoxville goes, I'm currently obsessed with our new food truck, but they're tricky to find (we have an amazing farmer's market on Saturday, and I save my eating-out money for the truck). Rouxbarb has some wonderful southern food, but on the expensive end. The Sunspot is good, some southern food and also some healthy options.

I think West Virginia is also beautiful, and also kind of eerie if you drive through coal country at night (you go around a mountain and suddenly there's a HUGE lit-up coal plant that looks like something out of an alien movie. I can't remember where this is, but the whole state is beautiful).

crookedlegs

@cd I just did a Myrtle Beach - New Orleans - Memphis - Nashville - Manchester (for Bonnaroo) - Boston roadtrip last month (starting and ending in Eastern Canada), and I loved loved loved it. And honestly, although I'm a huge fan of live music, I have basically no experience with country or jazz, and that didn't matter a bit!

My one suggestion would be to plan on spending slightly more time in Nashville than Memphis - once we had done Graceland and Beale St a few times, we were ready to hit Nashville.

Also - all of the locals in Memphis told us to go to Cozy Corner for real Memphis BBQ, and we did and it was all of my BBQ dreams come true. It's out of the city center, but the hotel we stayed at had a dedicated shuttle with a lovely driver named Reginald who took us wherever we wanted to go, whenever we wanted (until midnight). That was actually really nice in Memphis, as we were three ladies in our 20s and guys in Memphis are quite... forward.

And in Nashville, if you get a chance, try to get tickets to a show at the legendary Bluebird Cafe. It's tiny and it's in a strip mall somewhere, but there is something magical about it :)

Oh! We also drove from Knoxville to Newark in one day (we had two drivers), and it's doable, but it was definitely one of our longest driving days! It would have been nice to have some time in between somewhere.

punkahontas

Am I the only person who is totally sick of articles about the Olympics? (Not just here, but everywhere. EVERYWHERE.)

I really feel like I'm the only person in the world who doesn't give a shit about the Olympics.

miss buenos aires

@punkahontas You and my husband.

churlishgreen

@punkahontas you are not, I am totally Olympiced-out (Olympicked-out?) already.

whizz_dumb

@punkahontas Yeah, there's a better event that celebrates world unity through sport and it's called the Super Bowl. Just kidding it's the World Series of Baseball. Just kidding it's the World Cup.

punkahontas

@whizz_dumb hahaha. It's not that I HATE the Olympics, it's just like churlishgreen said, I'm Olympicked out. And they haven't even started yet!

MoonBat

@punkahontas No, and thank you for letting me know that I'M not the only one! It feels sort of Unpatriotic, but I ....just....don't....care.

PomoFrannyGlass

@punkahontas You're not the only person who doesn't care about the Olympics. I will be watching the Red Sox/Yankees tonight, myself.

phillystout

@punkahontas With all the hype, I really thought they had started like 3 weeks ago.

camanda

@punkahontas I really genuinely love sports, but I can't make myself care about the Olympics. And this year's in particular -- I feel burned out and I don't even caaaaaare.

So tonight I will be pretending there is nothing going on in the world of athletics aside from perfect midsummer baseball games, sitting in my living room and watching the Dodgers lose.

wee_ramekin

@punkahontas I feel similarly blase about the Olympics. I have never really been excited about them, except briefly when I was young and Nancy Kerrigan was a thing.

But seriously, I think they are such a silly reason for people to get worked up. #ducks

whizz_dumb

Pretty sure I remember a very similar comment thread 2.5 years ago for the winter games. That might've been over at The Awl though.

punkahontas

Yeah, I wouldn't be annoyed with them so much if they weren't UP IN MY FACE all the time. Chill out, Olympics!

Glad to see I am not alone!

Slutface

@punkahontas I don't give a shit about the Olympics. I never have and I try to make myself because I feel like I'm unpatriotic, but this year I decided to just not give a care and I'm a lot less stressed.

Hellcat

@punkahontas I was going to ask this same question because I don't care about the Olympics at all. The other night, after seeing the 20th commercial about it, "Ugh, I hate the Olympics" (though "hate" is probably too strong a word) and my friend was, like, "WHAT?!" and totally aghast. But the thing is, I never heard him mention any excitement about the Olympics ever before. In fact, I don't really know if anyone I know has said anything about the Olympics in my presence. Yet they all seem shocked if I say I don't care!

Megasus

@punkahontas I don't care either! And my twitter feed will not shut up about the Opening Ceremonies. I don't think I have ever watched any Olympic coverage ever in my life. At least not on purpose. I didn't even know Opening Ceremonies were a thing until I was an adult.
So yeah. :p Olympics

filthyunicorn

@punkahontas Agreed.

the roughest toughest frail

Pinners! I am in desperate need of some new music. I listen to a lot of hip hop and R&B (D'Angelo's "Brown Sugar", "Black Star" and Q-Tip's "Revolution" are in heavy rotation) but I just discovered the Alabama Shakes and looooove them. "Hang Loose" might be my new summer jam.

Any recommendations? What's floating your skirt up, musically-speaking?

double paw?

@abetterfate i love the alabama shakes album. crank up "i ain't the same"

i also downloaded the new passion pit album - not sure if that's up your musical alley, but i am loving it so far.

the roughest toughest frail

@double paw? I totally forgot that they released a new album! I loved 'Manners'.

twocats

@abetterfate Oh, I so agree about Hang Loose - there's nothing in the world more comforting than hearing the lead singer say "Go with the flow, I'mma take care of you."

sarah girl

@abetterfate The new Frank Ocean album is getting a ton of hype, but it's TOTALLY MERITED. Excellent, excellent stuff.

Daisy Razor

@abetterfate I've had Channel Orange from Frank Ocean on repeat since I bought it. It's amazing.

themmases

@abetterfate I also love the new Passion Pit album and am listening to it this very moment!

I highly recommend "First Listen" at NPR. You can stream entire albums for a week or so before they're released and they have never steered me wrong. I am currently cramming in final listens of the week to two of them before they probably get taken down over the weekend (yes, I will be getting them for reals). I am also loving this Fang Island album they've had up for crazy long, since July 8th!

like a rabid squirrel

@abetterfate The Mynabirds, first and second albums (I prefer the first but the second has a bit more going on instrumentally). Also I am going to see Alabama Shakes on Sunday and I am soooo beyond excited.

katiemcgillicuddy

@themmases Jesus, "First Listen" is just the greatest.

the roughest toughest frail

@themmases @katiemcgillicuddy Holy cats, y'all aren't kidding. "First Listen" is fantastic.

Cheers, everyone! Please keep the suggestions coming. :)

anachronistique

I missed TWO open threads in a row because of my vacation! But it was an AMAZING vacation! I got to see my brother who lives in New Orleans and some of my Spanish relatives and then go to New York and see a ton of friends and also go to two shows. EXCELLENT TIMES. (If you can get to New York before September 2d, go see "One Man, Two Guv'nors." Lie, beg, borrow, steal, cheat, whatever. Go. I almost peed myself laughing.)

Of course, this week has been almost hilariously awful what with work exploding while I tried to catch up, a come-to-Jesus talk with two of my supervisors during which I cried not once but twice, and stepping in cat poop. Payback, I suppose. I am really excited to go home tonight and drink vodka and eat ice cream.

Cat named Virtute

@anachronistique I wondered where you'd went! I'm glad you had a good vacation, but booooooo on the Jesus talk and cat poop.

thiscallsforsoap

I was doing some research for a paper and I came across this:
An essay on sexual frustration as the cause of breast cancer in women: how correlations and cultural blind spots conceal causal effects.
This is, as far as I can tell, a legit journal. Check your dictionaries, because there's a picture of me next to 'aghast'.

apples and oranges

@thiscallsforsoap No. Noooo no no no no.

whateverlolawants

- I visited my sister this week! Yay!
- I sent something to my Pin Pal!
- I went to a resale clothing shop that was having a clearance sale and bought the following for $60: a black trench coat ($28), scarf, and hat. Three shirts and a pair of denim capris. Two purses. Yay! (Too bad I'm moving and trying to downsize my wardrobe... yeah right, like I'm gonna whittle it down much.)
- I ate some delicious food and played with adorable animals.
- I missed most of The Hairpin this week, since I was on vacation, but I'm catching up now and enjoying it.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone!

whateverlolawants

Also, I got my first Julep box! So wonderful. Almost-free, beautiful nail polish and spa goodies! Here's a referral if you're interested. I think using the code MAVENINTRO will get you a month for 1 cent. If not, search around, there's often codes being passed around the interwebs.

Build me a Cake

@whateverlolawants What's a pin pal?? I'm REALLY intrigued.

allofthecrafts

@whateverlolawants OHMIGOSH WHAT IS THIS. NAIL POLISH?! MONTHLY?! I'M IN.

Cat named Virtute

@Build me a Cake We email The Lady of Shallott and she gives us the address of another 'Pinner and we send letters back and forth. It's lovely!

mangosara

@allofthecrafts it's THE BEST nail polish I love Julep Maven so much seriously do it.

The Lady of Shalott

@Build me a Cake For more information, see here! http://thehairpin.com/2012/05/pin-pals

Build me a Cake

@The Lady of Shalott and @whateverlolawants Thank you both - LoS, just sent you an e-mail!

whateverlolawants

@allofthecrafts Did you sign up? It's awesome. My intro box had an extra thing of toe separators thrown in. My August box arrives soon. Yay! And everyone, do the Pin Pal thing. It's great.

charlesbois

Stay dry? Oh hells no, we need rain, at least here in Meeechegan we do!

This weekend the house hunt is on again. We've decided on cheaper properties for lower monthly payments. And I have a wonderful brunch to go to for which I am making a tomato and bacon tart, and salted caramel shortbread. What's everyone else cooking, or not, this weekend?

billie_crusoe

@charlesbois I would be OK with it raining all the time for the rest of the summer.

Salted caramel shortbread!!! That sounds amazing! I'm going to make and freeze a bunch of buttermilk biscuits and pie crusts this weekend - stocking up for the school year. And maybe more peach preserves.

WhiskeySour

@charlesbois I'm planning on throwing together a slow-cooker lentil/kale/flavorful yummy thing tomorrow. I'm in such a cooking rut. Bacon leek tart sounds amazing. Hmmmm...

MissT123

@charlesbois YES! RAIN IN ILLINOIS TOO, PLZ! Also, y'all's cooking plans sound so goooood!

Lurkasaurus

@charlesbois I'm hosting an Opening Ceremonies-themed potluck tonight, and my contribution as "Great Britain" is going to be shepherd's pie! A bit of an odd dish for mid/late-ish summer, but whatevs.

WhiskeySour

@Lurkasaurus So jealous! Both for shepherd's pie (it's always shepherd's pie season!) and for the Opening Ceremonies potluck. That sounds so fun!

meetapossum

I took the day off (Summer Friday!), and I am sitting on my living room floor drinking wine right now. I was going to go to Crossfit this morning, but instead I bought some new workout clothes (ironic!) and ate frozen yogurt.

Who all is going to the NYC pinup in Astoria tonight?

runner in the garden

@meetapossum - the beer garden says all 5 of its TVs will be showing the Olympics!

ba-na-nas

@meetapossum Oh man, nyc pinup in astoria sounds awesome! but i will be drinking rose at a friend's place instead.

terrific

@meetapossum SIGH. I wish I were going to the pinup. I missed the book club, too! But I'm camping. In what is theoretically going to be a thunderstorm. I hope the Astoria pinup is amazing so everyone wants to have lots and lots more of them.

the little c

@meetapossum I shall be there! I'm the one who suggested it. I'm really excited to see you all.

Atheist Watermelon

@the little c what time what time what time? I will be there!!! :-) So excited to meet you guys!!

the little c

@Didldidi 6...45..ish? I don't know how early I should get there to claim a table by a tv. I think I'm just going to saunter out at about 645 and see what happens. Don't let my nonchalant sauntering fool you though, I am rulllll excited.

Atheist Watermelon

@Didldidi oh nvm i promise i have a brain and it works sometimes. i just found the facebook invite. i'll be there! yayyy!!! wait, should we get there super early to beat the rush?? i see there will be a crazy line?

the little c

@meetapossum okay all, I'm at Bohemian Hall in the back right corner. Blue polka dotted dress, giant green glasses on the table. See you there.

the little c

@meetapossum okay all, I'm at Bohemian Hall in the back right corner. Blue polka dotted dress, giant green glasses on the table. See you there.

iheartoxytocin

I recently got an IUD and I'm nervous that at my 1-month check up my doc will inform me it hasn't been working for some random reason and I'll freak out because I have a boyfriend and then that would mean unprotected sex ughhhhh

Killerpants

@iheartoxytocin If you stick your finger allll the way up there to your cervix, can you feel the tiny little bit of string sticking out? That's a great way to reassure yourself that all is well. If it's in there (and it almost certainly is) it's working, and if you can feel the string you know it's in there. I think you'll be ok! [ps i am not a healthcare professional! but i did have an IUD once]

iheartoxytocin

@Killerpants Thanks for the pointer! I will try that later. I read on the Mirena website that string-checking was normal, but my Dr. said nothing about it in my appointment. Still, my insertion was easy and normal so I should be fine.

sarah girl

@iheartoxytocin Just FYI, if you can't feel the string that doesn't necessarily mean you should start freaking out! Some people can't reach their cervix at all parts of their cycle, or at all (me), or the strings get pushed up along the vag wall, things like that.

One thing you SHOULD check, though, is that the strings aren't too long. If you reach in and can feel them almost immediately, you need to have the doctor trim them, because that can be an issue (more likely to get tangled up in things that can pull them out and such). The doc who put in my IUD was great but FORGOT to trim the strings at all, so I had to get them fixed at my next appointment.

Punk-assBookJockey

@iheartoxytocin Don't worry! Are you having any problems with it? Bad cramps or anything? If not it is probably fine! I had a lot of spotting with it and it was totally normal, turns out. Use condoms for backup if it makes you feel better but I bet it's fine!

iheartoxytocin

@Sarah H. I'm pretty sure she trimmed them (like I think I remember it happening), but I'll check anyway.
@Punk-assBookJockey Yeah, I'm having a lot of spotting that is now seemingly slowing down (FINALLY) and a bit of cramping but just to the point of being occasionally uncomfortable. It doesn't seem abnormal, especially since I haven't had kids.
I just occasionally start freaking out about it then calm down haha.
Thanks for all the advice!

Queen of Pickles

@iheartoxytocin Jeez, what's up with these docs? Forgetting to trim strings, forgetting to tell people how to check the strings... yeesh.

themmases

@iheartoxytocin Awww yay I love when people get IUDs! I have never really been able to feel mine but my boyfriend could at first, so even not being able to find them doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong, especially if you feel good. Also, think the strings are eventually supposed to soften and tuck up more along the cervix or vaginal wall, and then they might be harder to feel.

But IUDs coming out of place is most common right after insertion, so after 1-3 months (I think) you are most likely fine.

angelinha

@iheartoxytocin I can't reach my strings and just got it checked after 6 months. My doctor said it won't just fall out, it will "cramp out" - so she recommended checking the toilet if you're having really bad cramps, but said it'll be terrible enough pain that if you're not feeling it, it's not coming out. I hope this is true.

redheaded&crazy

ok i'm using this space for my bi-tri weekly plug for the google groups we gots goin on where we talk about fashion and dudes and life and stuff. you can go right here and join! it's fun.

current conversation topics include: jumpsuits, curling irons, project runway, project project runway ... :D

charlesbois

@redheaded&crazie project runway you say? excellent!

redheaded&crazy

be warned that you may be at risk of receiving a bajillion emails (2900 so far in july to be exact)

(but you can change your membership settings to not receive email or receive it once a day or whatever)

romastrega

@redheaded&crazie Just requested to join in! I have no one to talk PR with right now so yay!!

sarah girl

@redheaded&crazie I like your saucy new icon :O

redheaded&crazy

@Sarah H. ;D i like YOUR saucy ... new ... sauciness

JadedStone

@redheaded&crazie oh hell yes. I loves me some project runway.

falconet

This is my last weekend of a mostly miserable year abroad. Four more days till I return to Canadaland! I will be able to communicate with most everyone! I will know what things are called and how to use more than 3 verb tenses! I am so pumped to protest against the horrible autocratic conservative government, to get all my crap that has been in storage, and to hang with much-missed friends again. Repatriation ahoy!

miss buenos aires

@falconet Where were you studying?

whateverlolawants

@falconet You're making me want to move to Canada!

falconet

@miss buenos aires Not studying, sadly, but full-time parenting in Germany where my husband has a fellowship. It was a good opportunity, but one that we planned on before the kiddo was in the picture. Travelling with a toddler is ROUGH.

dale

@falconet Which magical province will you be moving back to?

miss buenos aires

@dale Oh whoops, my mind went to wild student times immediately. I spent a summer in Germany and got really homesick and lonely by the end of it, too. Have so much fun upon reentry!

Lurkasaurus

@falconet I spent 6 months abroad in Germany a couple of years back. At first I was convinced I wanted to move there permanently, but by the last month, I was making lists of allllll of the things I missed about 'murica and counting the hours until my flight took off. Congratulations on making it a full year, especially with a toddler!

falconet

@dale The highly unmagical Ontario. Oops! Must not let pessimism trump happy repatriation vibes!

Bittersweet

@falconet Take that back about unmagical Ontario. My in-laws have a cottage on a lake north of Kingston and it is heaven on earth. If only we could stay there all the time instead of having to deal with work and school and real life...sigh.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

Chicago!

We are meeting on the stairs of the Newberry Library for the Book Fair today http://www.newberry.org/, 5:30pm for book browsing, or at 7:00pm to head off for dinner and drinks!

(Or off to the Best Coast show, if anyone else is going to that?)

Check in on the Google Groups discussion!

Lady_Terminator

@josiahg I want to go so baddddd but I have to go do family crap tonight. :(

Also, Chicago Hairpinners, don't forget to join the facebook group!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/197288573732866/

thisisunclear

@josiahg whoop whoop! see you there, Chicago! who needs the Olympics anyway?

whimsy

@josiahg
How do I keep being sick on the days when there are sweet Hairpinnings to attend!! ARGH!!

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@whimsy
Don't be sick on Sunday, August 5! That's when C. and I are throwing the Chicago Vegan Grill Party 'Pin-Up!

OhShesArtsy

I don't know that anyone really keeps up with my job-bitching BUT I went on a second interview for a job that I really want on Wednesday. I'll hear back (they promised to call one way or the other which I appreciate SO MUCH) on Monday or Tuesday next week.

I think I will eat/stay drunk all weekend in fear/celebration.

Lee Van Queef

@OhShesArtsy Good luck!!! I am also on the hunt for a new job, and it is incredibly frustrating.

OhShesArtsy

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas Good luck to you, too!!

Also: I just had an incredibly awkward meeting with my BIG BOSS (my boss's boss's boss, the owner of the company/business manager) wherein he asked me, "Where would I like to go with (current company)".

Maybe I should have had the ladyballs to just say, "No where! This company is a mess! Here's everything that wrong: ---" but in nice words.

I didn't do that. I blank faced and gave him a "Well, my background is --" kind of answer. Maybe I should do a follow up email letting him know what is going on (crazy boss, coworkers no doing their jobs, I'm on call 24/7 and paid very, very, very poorly, etc)? I don't know. Maybe I'll just get this new job and not have to think about it ever again.

Heat Signature

Has anyone been following this whole Katherine Jackson disappearance thing? It is SO BIZARRE. Which is shocking, I know, because who can imagine anything associated with the Jacksons being weird?

Heat Signature

@Heat Signature No one? Really? But Janet Jackson tried to kidnap Michael's kids, you guys! Katherine might have been held against her will! Penny from Good Times has gone bad!

lindackerite

@Heat Signature Yes, it's not hard to imagine why MJ didn't want his stuff going to anyone but his kids....and now they still have to deal with this! Did you see those text messages!? I feel the whole KStew biz eclipsed all other gossip this week.

romastrega

Pinners! I'm having a pin pal crisis.
I'm in LA and she's in DC and for a two months everything was great and we were writing back & forth and all that. But my last letter was sent back return to sender and I don't know if she moved or what! If you are out there dear pin pal please write or let me know you are ok!

The Lady of Shalott

@romastrega You can always email hairpinpals@gmail.com if you are in distress, and I will do my best to get to the bottom of things!

EVERYONE, WRITE TO YOUR PIN PALS!!!

frigwiggin

@The Lady of Shalott I sent mine a letter yesterday after she sent me a postcard with her new address! I even busted out a new pretty bird notecard for the occasion.

wharrgarbl

@The Lady of Shalott I haven't heard back from either of my pinpals in a while, which leads me to anxiously conclude that they're bored to tears and/or can't read my awful handwriting, but too bad! I'm sending stuff until I run out of stamps!

romastrega

@The Lady of Shalott Thank you & will do!

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@wharrgarbl I haven't heard anything from mine either! I'm afraid I was too cheery/braggy/something.

kickupdust

@wharrgarbl I haven't heard from my pinpal EVER and am too scared to try again! so many worries about writing style/content. pinpal if you're out there it's me, Meagan from Winnipeg and I'm very sorry I wrote so much about all the times I went out drinking that week. :(

olivebee

@my pinpal I am so sorry I am so delayed with responding to you this time! It's been a crazy couple of weeks, but I am bringing my stationery to Florida with me next week, and I will write to you from the beach! I LOVED your last letter, and cannot wait to respond. You'll hear from me soon, I promise!

Oh, squiggles

I've been too nervous to sign up for this (though I really want to) because I am worried that I won't have anything good to write about. Also, is handwritten a requirement? Because my handwriting is almost unreadable.

The Lady of Shalott

@Awesomely Nonfunctional Not at all! Type whatever you want! About whatever you want!

wharrgarbl

@olivebee Where are you going in Florida? (Pretty much no matter where you go, it has been less hot here than further north, so there's that.)

Weasley

@The Lady of Shalott

I wrote to my pin pal but I never heard back! It's only been a little over a month and she is overseas but...is there a commonly considered time period that I should wait and then give up? Can I get a new pin pal if I never hear from my first one?

The Lady of Shalott

@Weasley You can always sign up for another pal, but keep waiting for your first letter! If you consider two weeks for international mail (and let's be honest, the USPS and its friends overseas have never been noted for their rapidity), a week or two to return the letter, then another couple of weeks for mailing...not too bad! But you are always welcome to have another one!

noodge

advice for inspiring a gent who has lost his passion for cunnilingus? stated reason: i guess i've just gotten lazy. (this is Mr. Teenie, who is a winner in many regards, so reserve your "juicebox" judgments - just looking for solid advice)

noodge

@teenie (worrying this is too personal - is it too personal? ugghhhh)

EpWs

@teenie Never too personal!

I've got no advice here, but good luck! We know Mr. Teenie is fantastic, so no worries.

gobblegirl

@teenie Hmm. Lazy is a choice, right? It's not that he hates it, he just can't be bothered. Does he straight-up refuse to reciprocate? Maybe engineer a nice relaxing, fun, coupley day, with the evening's entertainment niec and relaxed and drawn-out. And then wink and say please?
Once he gets back on the horse (sorry!), he might see the appeal of making you very, very happy?

Heat Signature

@teenie Tell him "tough shit"? That he needs to get over it because he loves you and wants you to be happy?

noodge

@gobblegirl no, he never refuses... he just doesn't initiate it, and doesn't go for very long. which - in the scheme of things isn't a big big deal since i use toys to "get there".

I got frustrated this last week, and was like "do you think I just inherently love having dicks in my mouth? because I don't! but I do inherently love making you very happy! so either find out if there's a problem you're not comfortable approaching with this, or stop being so effing lazy - get over it!"

I doubt there's a problem, he's a very straighforward and easy going dude, and he's so easy going that laziness can be an issue at times. so. yeah. i just have to keep asking i guess? this may be good for me, since i tend to be timid asking for what i want. practice makes perfect, right?

I think another way that will help is changing things up a bit in the bedroom (or kitchen, or living room, or shower) because we've gotten into a pattern lately that may be contributing to him allowing himself to put in less effort.

whizz_dumb

@teenie I agree with Heat Signature plus I have some slightly raunchy advice: tell him he can relax, lay-down and be lazy while you get on top and force it upon him. (I'm describing this nicer than I usually would but you get the idea)

redheaded&crazy

@whizz_dumb @teenie RIDE HIS FUCKING FACE.

adorable-eggplant

@teenie Um, yeah that's tricky. How do you feel about aides? Ages ago I saw some sort of tongue cover type thing. Maybe it would help him reengage if there were new toys to play with or he was given specific tasks. Or gold stars? Also, if you've got a normal sequence maybe try inverting that sequence. Perhaps it would help for you talk about how being the beneficiary of said activity makes you happy. [that's a really prudish way of saying work it into your dirty talk like whizz_dumb mentioned above]

adorable-eggplant

@redheaded&crazie This. would be the most straight forward approach. :)

noodge

@redheaded&crazie guh, you're awesome. and I DO! just not as much as I should because of the aforementioned difficulty in asking what I want.

So, just to be clear, he doesn't have any qualms with it he's just sorta "meh" when I wish he was like "oh hell yeah!"

Exene

@teenie Maybe shuffle your position mid-beej to turn it into 69?

whizz_dumb

@redheaded&crazie Thank you.

@Exene I second that motion. Turn that frown upside-down?

adorable-eggplant

@adorable-eggplant I realize I probably meant 'aids' as in devices that might help. But assistants could actually be a fix, too.

redheaded&crazy

@teenie I totally feel you, I'm awkward as hell and I've never been with a guy who likes ... doing ... that. Until now. But I third the motion of 69.

noodge

@redheaded&crazie yeah - i'm realizing that it could work out to be really good - like, Pavlovian positive reinforcement! he's getting nice tingly feelings when he's doing it to me! eventually, maybe as soon as I start on him, he'll start to salivate? maybe?

Oh, squiggles

@teenie I have many thoughts on this (and clearly too much time on my hands)

1. Flavored lube (just to change things up)
2. 69 (this has already been suggested, and I am personally a big fan of it)
3. Change the position (he might go for longer if he was in a more comfortable position. I know I have to stop going down when my neck gets too sore)
4. I think the appeal of giving oral sex is in seeing how much the receiver is getting off. Maybe try upping your reactions? More moaning and hair grabbing?
5. If he is the type that enjoys aggressive sexy times, you might need to stop asking and start ordering (obviously it helps to know if he likes being ordered around ahead of time) sometimes being commanding can be a turn on for guys.

parla

@Awesomely Nonfunctional don't do flavored lube! yeast infection ahoy!

Oh, squiggles

@contrary Um, if it was meant to be used as lube, it should be safe.

parla

@Awesomely Nonfunctional just speaking from experience/recommendation from a pretty sex positive doctor on how to avoid yeasties.

wharrgarbl

@Awesomely Nonfunctional Lube with glycerin can cause problems for ladies prone to yeast infections. Also, paging @Porn Peddler.

Porn Peddler

@wharrgarbl HI. HI THERE.

Please allow me to dispel the notion that anything marketed as lube is safe for all possible uses of lubricant. Some is not safe for certain toys. Some is not safe for internal use. Some is safe for the anus and not for the vagina.

If you are prone to any kind of vaginal infection or ailment, avoid all flavored lube on the vulva/in the vagina. And anus, if the anus in question is located near a vagina. There are certain ingredients that do worse things to the vagina than others, such as glycerin, paraben, aspartame, and obviously sugar- in sensitive people, these can exacerbate vaginal infection. Another issue with flavored lube is also that if cunnilingus paired with flavored lube precedes coitus, that lube is going to get pushed into the vagina rather than just on the vulva (this can happen anyway but I'm going somewhere with this...) and the increased friction and rawness post-coitus will wreak so much havoc when mixed with flavored lube.

Skip the flavored lube. Slather it all over a dick if you wanna suck it off, but then KEEP THAT DICK AWAY FROM VULVAS TIL IT IS WASHED.

On cunnilingus...uh...I'll think about it. Mister Peddler has recently lost his crazy enthusiasm for it, as well.

Oh, squiggles

I'm surprised there isn't some kind of regulation requiring a warning label, but I guess I shouldn't be. Eek, scary.

Myrtle

@teenie You may have to get "lazy" too? And if it comes up (free pun!) then you say wistfully, "I miss when we were both into doing something special for each other" as you smile fondly at the distant memory.-?

Myrtle

@teenie Has anything in your diet changed that would make your flavor change? Obvs, a sharp or fishy smell warrants a trip to the gyno...do you notice a difference in the way you taste? Have you started a different medication? Or changed your brand of soap? Maybe a change to your personal yard maintenance?

gobblegirl

I got a new haircut and I'm finally starting to get over my ex (who had to move away just when the relationship was finally clicking and who is also impossibly attractive and silly) and was finally able to do the hobby that we used to do together without being sad, and I had a great holiday last week, and going to a great party tomorrow!
And OLYMPICS!

Exene

Hello, I would just like to evangelize about a cookbook that frigwiggin recommended a while back: 660 Curries by Raghavan Iyer. I checked it out from the library and have been making a different curry every week for my work lunchbox. It's so awesome because Indian food is a completely different paradigm for me; it'd been years since I'd eaten lentils prepared any way except the same damn way I always do them...UNTIL NOW.

Anyway, curry. What else do people pack for work lunches?

frigwiggin

@Exene Yessssss it is the besssssst. What have you made so far?!

When I'm not being boring and packing sandwiches (although I did make a delicious hummus-cucumber-and-ham sandwich the other day) I usually just bring leftovers from dinner, which sometimes causes coworkers to look at me askance--but whatever, dudes, I like hot lunches!

Exene

@frigwiggin I made both of the ones you recommended, red lentils with bell pepp and kidney beans with slow-stewed tomatoes, plus spinach-smothered green lentils and "restaurant-style cauliflower."

The only weird thing about eating them at work is, I know they smell strong, (and to me they smell fuckin great), but I can't really tell if my coworkers think they smell bad. One dude at work this week ate a can of Progresso clam chowder every day and there was a lot of shade being thrown as "low tide down at the docks" smell wafted thru the office.

trappedinabay

@Exene I made a delicious marsala dish and heated it up in the office this week, and my boss wrinkled her nose and said it smelled like vomit. D:

Xanthophyllippa

@trappedinabay I hope you threw it at her.

Kate Kane

@Exene Late night reading has my brain on a slow speed: "cookbook thread, I dunno, how often do I really coo - OOH, CURRY?" Make a note, brain!

allofthecrafts

Hey y'all!

So now that I'm home from France, I don't have a job and I'm basically just waiting for the semester to start. Which means I have time to READ BOOKS!!

Soooo I'm asking you lovely smart people for book suggestions! I really like dystopian sorta futuristic things, but I will read probably anything.

EpWs

@allofthecrafts I just started The Night Circus and can't put it downnnnn.

redheaded&crazy

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher ooh I really liked the night circus too.

Killerpants

@redheaded&crazie Me three! Really good.

VolcanoMouse

@allofthecrafts Scifi! Canterbury Tales! Dan Simmons' Hyperion! is amazing. I have a complicated mental relationship with that author, but I can recommend that particularly novel whole-heartedly.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@allofthecrafts Super Sad True Love Story! It's dystopian AND futuristic. And it's probably all going to come true.

frigwiggin

@allofthecrafts If you don't find the language use too confounding (not saying you will--some people find it gimmicky, I LOVE it), read Riddley Walker! Dystopian! Future but society's all broken! It is my favorite book, not even kidding.

romastrega

@allofthecrafts I just went on an Octavia Butler kick & reread ones I already loved & discovered new favorites... Parable of the Sower is exactly what you need right now. Trust me.

maybe partying will help

@allofthecrafts

Have you read anything by Octavia Butler? Lilith's Brood is great!

edit: romastrega has good taste. :B

allofthecrafts

@allofthecrafts Ohmigooood you guys are the best! I haven't read any of these but I'm totally going to read like ALL of them because they all sound GREAT! BOOOOOKS

romastrega

@maybe partying will help Ha! So do you as Lilith's Brood was the other one I was going to recommend!

feartie

@allofthecrafts Zazen, by Vanessa Veselka. Dystopian, page turning, literary, bizarre. Features (imaginary?) Rat Queen mother goddess stalking a war-threatened Portland, among many other delights.

Lily Rowan

@frigwiggin I'm really not sure if my favorite Russell Hoban book is Riddley Walker or Bread and Jam for Frances, and that fact BLOWS MY MIND.

romastrega

@Gone Away Lass OMG! Perfect! I rarely get on FB and I haven't checked the updates in the Book group so thanks for the heads up! I hope I'll be here for the meetup - I have 2 trips planned in August (the perks of being unemployed?)

like a rabid squirrel

@allofthecrafts William Gibson! Cyberpunk awesomeness. I read "Pattern Recognition" a few months ago and loved it.

katiemcgillicuddy

@allofthecrafts Just picked up, "The Forgotten Waltz" by Anne Enright (I LOVE HER). It's fantastic. If you haven't read her before, she wrote a book a few years back called "The Gathering". My copy is ripped, worn, and tattered. It is brilliant.

I don't read a lot of memoirs (unless it's Old Hollywood, which, yes please) but Lidia Yuknavitch's, "The Chronology of Water" is incredible. I read it all the time, I can't recommend it enough. It is fucking beautiful.

BattyRabbit

@Gone Away Lass I dunno but I'm about to start my MLIS next month so I'll keep you updated/would love to hear other people's input.

the roughest toughest frail

@Gone Away Lass I don't have any advice, because I'm in a similar situation. I keep thinking it might be something to pursue, but don't know how/where to start.

Cat named Virtute

@Gone Away Lass Be really REALLY sure that you want to work in libraries/archives/knowledge management. Talk to people in the field, VOLUNTEER, read blogs, and look at job postings. Think about the cuts that are being made, especially in school and public libraries and archives. If you having anything more than the doubt that comes from being a little nervous, don't do it. There's a lot of hustle involved, lots of networking and developing tech skills that your program may not teach you and going to conferences and selling yourself. It's not just a desk job anymore, in a serious way. If you do all this, and you still feel passionate and excited about what you're learning, and all the work sounds at least as much fun as it does work, than yes, you should definitely go for it, because it's a wonderful field that needs lively interested personable people.

Good luck!

Faintly Macabre

Things not to do if you don't want to depress yourself: While looking up your birth certificate, read your father's Power of Attorney and detailed DNR orders/preferences.

LALALALA MY PARENTS WILL LIVE FOREVER AND STOP AGING WITHIN FIVE YEARS FROM NOW.

gobblegirl

@Faintly Macabre What a coincidence! Mine will too!

frigwiggin

Anybody got any good websites to share? Is This Feminist makes me guffaw unattractively (which is SO UNFEMINIST AND PROBLEMATIC).

billie_crusoe

@frigwiggin "TRIGGER WARNING. The “thumbs up” is the most phallocentric gesture imaginable. You are literally telling someone that a good job is the equivalent of growing a penis. In this case, two penises." YESSSSS THANK YOU, that is amazing.

wharrgarbl

@frigwiggin I will never stop loving Calming Manatee.

redheaded&crazy

@billie_crusoe oh my god I was going to pull that one out as well. SO GOOD. So many trigger warnings on every hairpin article.

"Feminists are permitted Diva Cups, used rags that are rewashed by hand, or just bleeding down their legs as we imagine our matriarchal ancestors did."

Scandyhoovian

@frigwiggin oh man I am cracking up at this as well. PROBLEMATIC.

darklingplain

@frigwiggin I've been enjoying ihatenyt.com's lengthy take-downs of all of the stupidest parts of the New York Times.

katiemcgillicuddy

@frigwiggin Best tumblr ever: thisisnthappiness.com

crookedlegs

@frigwiggin These make me smile: http://imaginaryimageblog.tumblr.com/

wharrgarbl

@crookedlegs Holy shit, that blog is the best of all possible blogs. I will love it and hug it forever.

"Inside a dimly lit Apple store, not a single product anywhere but for a single iPad in the center of the store on a table displaying a white screen and emitting a deafening high pitch tone. A circle of small children is gathered around it and can’t look away."

BattyRabbit

In the next week I get to move away from everyone and everything I have ever known to start grad school! I also get to break up with my boyfriend! Yay LIFE!
I'm excited about my program and I know that this should feel like a big adventure starting but it doesn't at all right now, it feels like the beginning of a long exile. I keep cryiiiiing.

runner in the garden

@BattyRabbit - can you get in touch with your soon-to-be classmates? And facebook stalk them and daydream about the adventures you will soon have together?

maybe partying will help

@Gone Away Lass

Echoing Cat named Virtute. I got my MLIS last year and consider myself very, very lucky to have found a part-time job in a library reasonably quickly (only nine months of searching! YAY!). Like most everywhere else, the field is not in the greatest shape jobs-wise. The key is just finding out as much as possible, the good and the bad, and deciding from there.

Scandyhoovian

I had tickets to see the Producers this weekend and APPARENTLY it got postponed to "later in the season" and NOTHING WAS SENT TO ME? So I was making lunch reservations for before the show and the dude's like "Uhhh, pretty sure that got cancelled or something," and I was just like "...what?"

Boo.

Scandyhoovian

@Scandyhoovian Yep, just called the theater. It's postponed to January. I am sad.

WhiskeySour

@Scandyhoovian
That is so upsetting. And you didn't get any notice. Ugh. But I guess on the bright side, you didn't get all the way to the theater, ticket in hand, before you found out.
Will they still honor your ticket in January?

Scandyhoovian

@WhiskeySour Yes, thankfully. They're telling everyone to hold their tickets until new dates are officially announced and we can reschedule it. (And good thing they are, too, 'cause I'd BURN THEM WITH FIRE, the mood I'm in right now.)

Build me a Cake

Hey guys! Been lurking forever but decided to take the big step today and register on Hairpin!

Other than that, this week was my second-to-last at my internship in St. Paul, MN. And I'm going to spend all of Sunday helping to move my boyfriend of 6 months into OUR new apartment (WHAT).

liverwortlaura

@Build me a Cake hello! good luck with the move/cohabitation!

Build me a Cake

@liverwortlaura Thanks a ton and hello back!

katiemcgillicuddy

@Build me a Cake I've been a lurker 'til very recently, so hi! Good luck with the move!

Build me a Cake

@katiemcgillicuddy Great to meet you! Is the Pin even more addictive when you're actively participating? Agggh maybe it's a good thing that I'll be done with work for a little while...

katiemcgillicuddy

@Build me a Cake Totally. But it also makes it even better, which, I can't even. I'm also less productive at work which is really saying something. I only wish I could comment more!

Build me a Cake

@katiemcgillicuddy Not even kidding when I say I've daydreamed about working on a site like Hairpin as a full-time job. Then I could comment AND be productive at work!

If only.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Build me a Cake THAT'S THE DREAM, FRIEND.

Lurkasaurus

@Build me a Cake Welcome! I also delurked recently and I think it makes it even more fun (although tbh I'm still a bit nervous about jumping into some of the more heated discussions, haha). Good luck with the move, and I hope everything goes smoothly living-together-wise!

soul toast

@Gone Away Lass
I'm almost done with my MLIS, and I have to say it was the best decision I ever made. It was just such a good fit for me.
The job market is a little iffy, depending on what area you want to go into, but I've just loved studying this field so much.
What are you interests? What are you expecting to get out of it? If you have any specific questions, let me know.

feartie

Help from taller 'pinners!!

After trying unsuccessfully to order white M/L tights from New Look - they sent me ugly mistaken beige tights TWICE grrr - I am completely stumped.

You'd think the internet would be able to offer sheer white tights for a tallish girl (I'm 5"9) but nooo. I don't want thick leggingy white tights or anime/Hallowe'eny costume tights, but tights that make my extremely pale legs look even toned.

Any suggestions? - I'm in the UK, so it would help if companies were based there or posted cheaply from elsewhere places.

dale

@feartie I had decent luck with welovecolors.com, and I don't think the shipping was extraordinarily expensive?

theotherginger

@dale sweet! I have also wanted to know this.

feartie

@dale Hmm, no sign of tall sizing, just plus size (which is great, but not my issue)

parla

@feartie HUEEEEEEEEEE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUEEEEEEEEE. I am also 5'9" and these are the only tights I buy. Spend the money on Hue, you will not regret it. I get them at Lord and Taylor, but I'm pretty sure you can get them at most department stores.

ba-na-nas

It's my birthday! I'm 33 today! And my baby said "mom" for the first time yesterday. Things are good!

twocats

@ba-na-nas Happy Birthday!

olivebee

@ba-na-nas Happy birthday! Have a fun time celebrating it in whatever way you are celebrating it!

ohyeahmetoo

@ba-na-nas yay! happy birthday! sounds like it's going to be a good year for you.

the roughest toughest frail

@ba-na-nas Happy birthday!

BattyRabbit

@ba-na-nas Happy happy birthday!!

@serenityfound

@ba-na-nas Woo! Now you can post about being 1/3 of a century old. Which I find totally awesome!

ba-na-nas

@olivebee thanks! i'm going to a beer garden with a bunch of folks i haven't seen in a long time because i have been busy with the little one. and maybe getting a pedicure! these feet look terrible!

klemay

'pinners!

I posted here last week about needing to work up the ovaries to text a manfriend and ask him if he wanted to get together again. I promised an update and here it is:

He... never responded. And then "liked" every single thing I posted to Facebook this week. What?

iheartoxytocin

@klemay ahhhhh dudes are so awkward.
Though to be fair, my guy friend told me he regularly forgets about texts he receives and then remembers them so much later that he feels awkward responding.

runner in the garden

@klemay maybe he gave a thumbs-up to your text and thought you could see it somehow

PistolPackinMama

@klemay Uh...

Uh...

Uh...?

Lady_Terminator

@klemay maybe shoot him one more text "hey you never got back to me, you game? :)" maybe he's just supershy and needs a bit of a push?

Kulojam

@klemay uuuuuugh, empathy. i'm in a similar situation and i just hate it. I try to chalk it up to this kid being so very young (but so very cute *sigh*) and to not let it get to me, but there i am close-reading facebook posts. that is not why i got a degree in english! Hang in there and as a wise woman told me last week, "he does not get to be in charge of your happiness, so don't give him that power." easier said than done, but good advice nonetheless.

ohyeahmetoo

I have a money question. For whatever reason my parents decided to give me my inheritance (that I didn't know I had) now instead of after they die. So suddenly I have a check for a lot of money (a little more than a years salary for me) that I am scared to touch and reluctant to just hand over to my bank (everyone hates their bank, right?).
I guess I am now one of those Brooklyn trust-funders that we all love to hate? And now I am going to audaciously ask for advice.
Some details: I am pretty conservative with money, have no debt and very few expenses compared to most people I know, but I'm also underemployed and struggle to make my meager rent every month. I'm single and in my early 30's and do not have a college degree (which limits my job-prospects/income to an extent).

I don't want to end up living off this money. I want to either a) somehow use it to make more money and/or b) save it for a later time (like retirement? or some emergency future thing).

Does anyone have any advice they'd like to share on investing for someone who doesn't know much about accounts, or the current state of the economy (other than it's bad and I am scared for all of our futures)?

For now I am thinking of using it as a sort of buffer to justify not having a full time job while learning skills that would help me to get a full time job (I want to learn computer programming and there are many good free resources online for this. I have some experience doing computery stuff). I'm hoping to set up a fairly rigorous study schedule to at least get started down this path.
I think my parents assumed I would use it as a down payment for a tiny apartment or something, but in my opinion I am not sufficiently employed enough to have a mortgage, I like where I currently live well enough (and I have a real deal on rent for now), and finally, a piece of property is not a secure enough investment for me (or an investment at all?) and seems somehow stressful.

Thanks if you bothered reading this, or are thinking of bothering to write a response!

wharrgarbl

@ohyeahmetoo Long-term CDs? Especially if you ladder them so that you're rolling a mature one into a new fund every so often. That way you have the opportunity to use the money if an emergency or huge opportunity comes up, but you're not frequently tempted. And the interest does accrue.

lobsterhug

@ohyeahmetoo The Billfold has had a few articles about what to do with monetary windfalls!

A really safe investment is a CD (certificate of deposit) at a bank. You don't get a ton of growth, but the longer you leave it alone, the more you interest you earn.

redheaded&crazy

@lobsterhug yes, like the article on spending a $66,000 inheritance on new clothes.

my advice is: don't do that!

Emma Peel

@ohyeahmetoo First, seriously: I'd ask your parents, if it doesn't make you uncomfortable. They're obviously good enough with money (for whatever reason) that they are comfortable writing you a large check while they're still alive, which sounds like they feel absolutely prepared for every eventuality and probably know a lot about investing and smart money management, and also want the best for you.

First, though, I'd put $5,000 into an IRA. This will get it growing immediately for when you retire, and you can deduct all of that from your taxes this year, which means it makes you MORE money in the near-ish future.

As for the rest, I think you should split some of it between CDs, stock funds and more immediate-term money that you can reach in case of an emergency. I wouldn't live off it unless things are very dire, for the reasons you said above.

Lady_Terminator

@ohyeahmetoo ok, since you're on shaky ground, i would suggest putting a small amount into a liquid investment, like a short term cd or a savings account (look online for best interest rates). You won't get much return, but it will be there in an emergency.

Otherwise, with the rest of it, you should diversify, which means, put it all into different shit. I'd recommend a few different mutual funds with a good solid history. Something that makes enough interest to keep up with inflation. If the rate of inflation is higher than your interest, you're only losing money in the long run.

Oh, squiggles

@ohyeahmetoo There is already a lot of good advice in this thread, but I think you are kind of on a good track already. The idea of investing the money in yourself is a good one. Learn skill you always wished you had, or pursue a business venture you have dreamed about. Investing is always risky, but if you invest in yourself there is always some kind of payoff.

ba-na-nas

@ohyeahmetoo I don't know if you're in a point in your life where you know where you're going to end up, and I don't know how much money it is, but it might make sense to buy a place rather than continuing to pay rent. Like I said, this really depends on where you are in your life and how much money you have, but it's something to think about, I think.

Reginal T. Squirge

$5k into an IRA and the rest into your 401(k), assuming you work at a job that has a 401(k).

ohyeahmetoo

@Awesomely Nonfunctional @Awesomely Nonfunctional I agree, good advice all around. Thanks! I am feeling ridiculously boring (especially since reading that article about how all women should travel alone) but the thought of some degree of financial stability is worth a lot to me.

@Emma Peel and ba-na-nas I agree, the parents have made good decisions and the take home from that for me is diversification (they have family members who lost everything to Madoff). They would feel more secure (on my behalf?) if I owned a place to live and tell me mortgage rates are low, but I don't live in an affordable area (NYC) and I'm not sure where I want to be in 5 years. So ideally I would keep a big enough chunk accessible to use as (part of?) a down payment sometime in the not-so-distant future if I decided to go that route.

@Reginal T. Squirge I don't have a 401k at the current job, unfortunately. I do have $2,000 in an IRA from a past job and think adding $5,000 is a good idea.

ohyeahmetoo

@wharrgarbl CD's sound really appealing but I can't find any that have interest rates that are higher than the rate of inflation. is it just sort of a "tough shit" situation right now? seems like it really blows to give your money to a bank for a certain amount of time only to lose money in the deal.

i make lists

@ohyeahmetoo First of all, I definitely agree with the $5,000 to an IRA! I'd suggest a Roth IRA over a traditional, since you pay taxes now and don't have to worry about taxes when you retire. You should definitely sit down with a financial advisor (a lot of banks offer this service for free because they want your business!) and talk to them about your needs. They should ask you how comfortable you are with risk, and tell you about different mutual funds and investments. Always get a second opinion. Unfortunately, it IS kind of a "tough shit" situation for FDIC insured interest-bearing accounts, so I would suggest that taking three months of expenses and putting in a savings account for emergency funds. The important thing for an emergency fund is making sure it's liquid.

Faintly Macabre

@ohyeahmetoo Yeah, CDs kind of suck right now. I've had a somewhat smaller windfall from my grandmother over the last year--basically equal to what my crappy year's salary would have been this year if I'd gotten one of the millions of entry-level jobs I applied for. In my case, though, I'll definitely need some of it over the next year or two. I was thinking of putting it in a CD because it's simple and safe, but my mother thinks it's not worth it with such measly interest rates.

Unlike $66,000 person, my gleeful spending has all been in my mind--even things I was already planning to buy!

iknowright

Is having pierced ears awesome?

I once had another thing pierced (not a private/down-there thing, but definitely more painful/obtrusive than earlobes) and it wasn't awesome and was sort of gross and I still have the scar. Everyone I know wants me to pierce my ears (seriously, there's like a club and I think they have secret Meetings About Ears), and I am sure it would be fun to shop for cute earrings, but...I don't know. I really don't like the way the hole looks when it doesn't have something in it (heehhhh heehhhh), and I have an irrational fear of stretching my earlobe, and I barely wear jewelry so I don't think it would make me suddenly love shiny things. If I did it and regretted it, would they heal or would I always have a hole?

Seriously, a pro/con list would be so much appreciated. Or pictures of earrings that would make it all worth it?

Scandyhoovian

@iknowright I have two holes in each ear and I love them! But I'm a fan of piling on jewelry in general, so that might be part of it.

wharrgarbl

@iknowright The holes will close up if you don't wear jewelry at least occasionally. I don't know if it would be worth it if you're not pretty into earrings. And I say this as a woman with seven holes between the two ears.

olivebee

@iknowright I have 4 holes in each ear (3 in the lobes and then tragus of one ear and daith of the other). I looooove changing out my earrings, and it is so fun to shop for cute studs to put in the higher-up holes. I can't think of any cons to lobe piercings. Your lobes definitely will not stretch unless you wear giant heavy danglies every single day.

But cons for cartilage: they take SO LONG to heal and get infected more easily, and you can't change the earrings out very often.

ohyeahmetoo

@iknowright I was considering re-piercing mine (my mother is always trying to convince me for some reason), but kind of can't think of many pros (the cons being possible infection and spending money on jewelry I guess?). So I guess a list of pros would be appreciated!

The Lady of Shalott

@iknowright As long as you don't wear super heavy earrings alllll the time, your earlobes will be fine! And maybe you could splurge on a nice pair of "everyday" earrings--like little stainless silver balls that you could wear all the time, and only change them out for wearing cute earrings occasionally? My BFF has nine piercings in her ears, but almost never wears anything special in them, just stainless balls.

I have a pair of sterling hoops that I wear every day, and in my second holes I have a pair of tiny diamond studs that I literally never take out because I'm so lazy. And trust me, after they're healed and all, you'll probably only ever think about it when you feel like it!

And when you do have pierced ears you can get awesome funky earrings!

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin Er, that is, I got them done once as a teen, they closed up, and then I had to go get them redone. And somewhere along the way I got my helix pierced and it still gets sore sometimes, but I like how it looks. I would get more if I could, but my body doesn't seem to do well with them so I'm just sticking with the ones I already have.

MoonBat

@iknowright Meh, I had my ears pierced at sixteen, and never wear earrings, and the holes never closed and I have to squeeze the yuck out of them like blackheads every so often. I also pierced my navel a couple decades ago and THAT also never closed and has to be cleaned regularly. But, I sort of hate the feel of metal against my skin, so no more piercings for me.

Build me a Cake

@iknowright Honestly my 3 ear holes closed up when I was like 21 and I haven't missed them (though you can still tell where they were pierced). I just accessorize more heavily with makeup, necklaces, etc. I think the potential for infection is a pretty huge con because that part was friggin painful for me!

EpWs

@iknowright I've got five manmade holes in my ears (two in each lobe, plus my left tragus.) The tragus has a barbell that NEVER GETS REMOVED, the upper holes have titanium studs, and the lower holes get changed out daily. Sometimes I'll go a few days without wearing anything in them, and they're fine--but I've had them since I was 10, so YMMV.

BIG MAJOR IMPORTANT POINT: If you do decide to get your ears pierced, for the love of your ears, please, PLEASE go to a licensed and reputable tattoo and piercing parlor, not anywhere that uses piercing guns, especially not if they're wielded by teenage girls. Tattoo/piercing parlors can clean and sterilize EVERYTHING they use (piercing guns can't be 100% sterilized), and the piercers know what they're doing. Take it from a girl who got four holes done with piercing guns and one with a needle wielded by a pro.

iheartoxytocin

@iknowright I got my ears pierced in my early teens, I think. I didn't have any problems with infection, and they've never bothered me in that area. I honestly don't notice the holes when I'm not wearing earrings (but that's perhaps because I've had them so long).

The biggest pro for me is being able to completely alter the feeling of an outfit with a good pair of earrings. Like, if I'm wearing a fairly simple outfit, pearl studs during the day and then big pretty ones for night; it automatically makes the same outfit look fancier. Also very few of my earrings are heavy enough to annoy me / stretch my earlobes (plus, I think I would have to wear them a lot more often to see stretching).
If you're not sure whether you'll wear jewelry much, you can experiment with clip on or screw-back earrings that don't require a piercing.

@serenityfound

@iknowright This is weird, because I just got my ears repierced after 12 years of not having pierced ears (I tried two separate times before but just couldn't make it work). And there was a club of people wanting me to get them pierced again. If my 15yo sister and mother are a club.

ANYWAY
Pros - there are so many cute earrings. Way cute earrings.
you can totally change the look of your outfits, mix it up
another thing folks can buy you as gifts (I am a terrible person to buy for, so it's relevant to me)

Cons - keeping them clean, especially during the first 6 weeks
you have to wear some sort of earrings all the time during the first 6 months to keep the holes from closing
there are way too many cute earrings out there

Oh, squiggles

@iknowright It sounds like the only reason you have for piercing your ears is because "Everyone I know wants me to pierce my ears"

This is NOT a good reason to do body modification of any kind! Also, I don't really understand why so many people in your life are pressuring you to do something you just don't seem that interested in. Maybe they are saying it in a joking way, and maybe you actually are interested in it, but from what you have written it sounds like you need to have some conversations about body autonomy with the people in your life.

My mom pierced my ears when I was a toddler, and the holes have never closed up. I find earrings itchy most of the time, but occasionally it is nice to wear pretty earrings. But considering how little I wear jewelry, if my holes miraculously closed, I don't think I would bother getting them repierced.

katiemcgillicuddy

@iknowright Do it if you want to, not because of anyone else! One thing though, someone in this thread mentioned infection. Be wary of the stuff they give you to clean them if you have anyone other than a doctor do it. When I was 16 I got the cartilage of my left ear pierced. One morning I woke up and the earring was gone...because it was entirely under the skin. I tried and tried to get it out (so fun) and then the next morning the other two were gone. So. Went to the doctor after finally telling my mom and he took one look and reached for the rubber gloves. I said, "what...the hell are you doing?" and he replied, "Oh, they have to come out". Ripped them the fuck out. Quiet, heavy sobbing. Told me it was an allergic reaction to the crap they gave me at Claire's. Gave me Tylenol, which did nothing for the pain because, you know, it was fucking Tylenol and he had just ripped metal from my ears. I think he said to use rubbing alcohol next time. So.

KeLynn

@iknowright - I mean, I think having pierced ears is awesome, but I'm a jewelry kind of lady. It kind of sounds like you're not. I think they'll close up the first year or so if you stop wearing earrings, but after a while it's pretty permanent. I've gone 6 months to a year without wearing earrings before, and mine never even hinted at closing up.

vunder

@iknowright I wear simple white gold hoops almost every day of my life. They're good quality, I sleep on them, and I never ever think about them. And then 1 or 2 times a year I wear different earrings. No stretching, no empty holes, not much bling. They are this closure style (no diamonds), so they are secure and don't poke at me: http://images.ice.com/ice/product/images/EDF/EDF_018640_b_l-12_Carat_Black_and_White_Diamond_14K_White_Gold_Hoop_Earrings.jpg

Elsajeni

@iknowright I actually am a non-jewelry-wearing person who loves my pierced ears and my many, many earrings -- so it's possible! But if you don't want to do it, you shouldn't. And based on my experience, yes, even if you let them close up there will be a visible mark where the holes were.

I will say: if you get it done, get it done right, by someone who knows what they're doing. The first time I had them pierced, it was done at a Claire's, with a piercing gun. After about a year they still hadn't healed properly, and when I left my earrings out for 2 days they closed up. The second time, I had them done with a needle at a tattoo and piercing studio, and they've stayed open even though I have sometimes gone up to a month without wearing earrings.

iknowright

@Awesomely Nonfunctional Oh, thank you for the concern! I was maybe being a little hyperbolic -- no one is being a bully or making me uncomfortable. My aunts and my mom really want me to pierce my ears because I'm an only child and our family is small and they're upset because they think that when they all die I'm going to inherit like 500 pairs of expensive, beautiful earrings and have nowhere to put them!

I honestly don't have much of an opinion either way. I sort of like the uniqueness of not having them pierced, plus I'm lazy, but I think that probably if I don't do anything before I inherit them, I'll probably do it after (once I've finished sobbing for a year, you know).

But seriously, thanks for what you said. I stand up for myself (probably too aggressively most times), but it's nice to know that if i were feeling worried or upset that you + other commenters would have my back.

iknowright

@all Thanks to everyone for your responses! I love the personal anecdotes and was also really worried that if I do decide to do it someday I'd have to go to Claire's. BUT NOW I KNOW. (Sidenote: I'm dumb and forgot that even though I hated the previous piercing, I did get it done at a tattoo place and there was zero pain involved, despite it being a huuuuugge needle!) Anyway, I appreciate everyone's perspective and stories and thanks to you all I both 1) know I'm not a total weirdo for not being super into it but also 2) know if I do get them they'd probably be really fun and PRETTY THINGS.

Plant Fire

@iknowright I'm 99% sure there is a way to convert regular earrings into clip ons in the event that you receive/inherit/want to buy some regular earrings but don't want to wear them often enough to pierce your ears.

Inkling

@iknowright
I greatly enjoyed this thread, especially in that you have a club wanting you to get your ears pierced. My grandma wouldn't let my mom pierce her ears as a kid, so mom was always eager to have me do mine. (Still haven't, I love squishing my fat earlobes.) Also my aunts always give me earrings, which go to my roommate.

Do you get any weird guy attention in regards to not having pierced ears? As opposed to girls (who encourage me to pierce them asap), every dude who's asked gives me this creepy paternal slow-smile-of-approval when they find out I've never been pierced.

twocats

I just got home from a month-long work trip, and I'm so glad to be back with my husband and cats!

Also, I would like to get a second tattoo and am weighing the pros and cons. I'm about to embark on medical school interviews and wondering if maybe waiting until they are over is wise. Any thoughts/experiences?

whimsy

@twocats
Yea, the medical world is still mainly against tattoos that can be seen when wearing scrubs... But I will say I think about 50% of my class has one somewhere!
Just use some discretion!

wharrgarbl

@Gone Away Lass How much time have you spent working in a library? I was thinking about getting an MLIS, but then I realized that the idea of spending the rest of my life around the more batshit insane of the librarian cohort (you know who you are) makes me instinctively reach for a bottle.

Atheist Watermelon

FARK FARKITY FARK FARK. Can I just bitch- I have found THE perfect apartment, it's $1000/ mo for a huge 1 br on the ground floor, i can get my piano into it- it's perfect. but after running my credit report, the broker calls me and goes on and on about my debt (yes, student loans, etc.) and how because I'm a freelance musician I can't prove a lot of my income (which is why i have a motherf(**&ing guarantor). He lectures me for 20 minutes about how I am 33 and I can't have a guarantor forever and what? i'm only paying $60/ mo on my student loans? i'll NEVER pay them off that way! and starts giving me financial advice and I just tried as had as possible to get him off the fucking phone so that I could cry. WHAT FUCKING BUSINESS IS IT OF HIS??? This is why I have a guarantor! Because I know that my own info isn't enough to get an apartment! I just feel so frustrated. I have to get this place, but it's not so much that- I'm pretty sure I'll still get it- it's being lectured for my life choices by some fucking mansplainer. I really can't help but think he wouldn't have gone on about this (in this ostensibly "fatherly" manner) if I were a man. FARK. /end rant

wharrgarbl

@Didldidi He is an asshole. May he spend the next month cutting his finger every time he opens a can, and the rest of his life trying that shit on potential renters who can tell him to fuck off and then hang up on him, so that his apartments lay barren and unoccupied.

Myrtle

@Didldidi The BROKER pulled this?! This sure sounds like harassment. Did you have any thoughts about following up with a complaint to the agency?

Atheist Watermelon

@Myrtle erm, he owns the agency (it's a tiny little operation in the middle of brooklyn). unfortunately in nyc, cheap apartments are like gold dust, so you have to either be willing to put up with a lot of crap from brokers or pay more. sometimes both. i got the apartment, but believe me, i rued every moment of handing that ny post-reading rush limbaugh-listening troglodyte his fee for "helping" me. (did i mention his agency consists of three shady looking guys listening to rush limbaugh opine about feminazis? and i used the toilet in his office and there was no sink in the bathroom, so i know that none of those men wash their hands? auuugghghhhhhghghhghghghhggh. well. cheap apartment. yay.)

Myrtle

@Didldidi ULGH , that's hard! I thought Co-Op boards were the only problem. So, did you get the place?

iceberg

ad for "gent's" club tagline "“Where your dessert takes your order!”"

Vomit, Y/Y?

wharrgarbl

@iceberg Y. Y. All the Ys.

EpWs

@iceberg EW WHAT EW
Y

WhiskeySour

@iceberg Y. Y. Y! The retching, it continues.

double paw?

my 15-mile bike ride last week was awesome! and it's inspired me to use my bike on a more frequent basis so i hope i do that (but also, i sweat a lot so we'll see how often i use it outside of riding for exercise/just to ride).

and i'm so glad this week is over. work was so busy that i couldn't even check hairpin on the daily. i have a lot of catching up to do.

liverwortlaura

@double paw? I am so grateful my work has shower facilities, because otherwise my sweat would probably prohibit my 13 mile commute. Looking forward to autumn when biking to places for fun does not equate being a hot mess.

double paw?

@liverwortlaura ahh, so that's how you do it! my work has shower facilities too, but then i would have to use them more often than my actual shower, and actual shower kicks work shower's ass. maybe one day i'll stop being a baby about it.

soul toast

My partner got laid off from her job yesterday! Trying to look on the bright side since she hated the job and was thinking of quitting anyway, but still.

trappedinabay

@soul toast Oh no! Did she get a fat severence package, at least?

soul toast

@trappedinabay She did get severance package, so at least we're set for a while. Much better than if she'd quit voluntarily.

lobsterhug

Pinners! I need help/advice. My best friend who I haven't seen in about 4 years is coming to visit me! And sleep on my couch! That my cat has been gleefully playing on for months. And she is allergic to cats.

I live in a teeny 1 bedroom with my fiance and keeping the cat confined to the bedroom is not feasible. Plus I don't want the litter box where I sleep.

So do I just suck it up and board my cat? Or stock up on Claritin for my friend?

Also, any tips on how to thoroughly de-fur my apartment?

The Lady of Shalott

@lobsterhug As someone who is also allergic to cats...I would definitely encourage her to get Benadryl/Claritin/whatever allergy med works for her. And to use it. A LOT. Stock up on tissues. But in all honesty, boarding your cat for a few days might be the best possible thing, but if she's anything like me sleeping on a kitty-furry couch is going to absolutely shit-awful for her. Maybe try thoroughly vacuuming the shit out of it and covering it with a slipcover?

And please please PLEASE don't be insulted if your friend wants to board your cat or do stuff outside the apartment or whatever. Because I have had some of my friends get upset when I ask if we could do stuff outside their house because of the cats, but it's just so much less fun to be hanging out playing board games if I'm sneezing and my nose is running and my eyes are itching and falling asleep from Benadryl.

olivebee

@lobsterhug Meet your new best friend, the Bissel Pet Hair Eraser: http://www.amazon.com/BISSELL-Eraser-Handheld-Vacuum-33A1/dp/B001EYFQ28

My brother-in-law is staying with us this weekend, and he, too, is allergic. So I de-furred the entire apartment with this thing and it works like a charm. It is seriously the best thing ever. Plus, you can use it on linens, pillows, clothes, tablecloths, couch, rugs, whatever. And the top is removable so you can clean it super easily.

lobsterhug

@The Lady of Shalott I offered to board the cat because I know that her allergies are really sensitive and I would never hold it against her! And she was nice and said that maybe if the cat just stayed in our bedroom she'd be fine. I was getting all worked up because I'm so excited to see her and I don't want her to be miserable and I don't want my cat to hate me.

@olivebee I will definitely get that! It will be a lifesaver, I'm sure. I have a couple of weeks to get everything in order. Plus, I have an Ikea couch and was going to wash the covers before she came.

Alright, I'm feeling way less freaked out now. Thanks!

Lee Van Queef

@lobsterhug Ooo, just be careful not to vacuum right before your friend comes. As a person with bad cat allergies, well-meaning relatives would vacuum to accomodate me, but it just kind of shot all of the cat dander into the air. (Although, I guess if you're using a really good pet-hair-oriented vacuum maybe that won't be as much of a problem?)

Anyway, I would just recommend doing it a couple days ahead of her arrival so that stuff kind of "settles."

soul toast

@lobsterhug Get an air purifier! Ours has been absolutely necessary when my super allergic sister in law visits.

Janestreet

@lobsterhug De-hair as best you can, and then sheet it several times -- fitted sheets on removable cushions work really really well in my experience. And, if you have a fuzzy (like velvetty?) cushion, go to the petstore and buy something called the 'Furminator' and GROOM your couch. Seriously, your mind will be blown.

hellomynameis

i am going to colombia in a month! awesome travel buddy planned the whole itinerary and i just get to go along for the ride. but i'm in charge of foods, so if you have ever been to bogota, medellin or cartegena and have restaurant recommendations, send 'em my way, por favor!

liverwortlaura

@hellomynameis fun! jealous! I know a wildlife photographer who is from/in Bogota right now.... I can ask!

PistolPackinMama

@hellomynameis you have no idea how green I am with envy that you get to go to cartagena!

terrific

@hellomynameis I JUST GOT BACK FROM COLOMBIA! Two days ago! Okay. I was only in Bogota, but:

We went to this vegetarian restaurant (note: "vegetarian" in Colombia apparently means chicken is OK, because there was definitely chicken in my soup) called Quinua y Amaranto. It is in La Candelaria and is awesome. I think they serve one thing a meal — we had ajiaco, which is a potato soup of sorts except way better because it also has cream and avocado and, well, chicken. You should eat it somewhere anyway.

Also make sure to go to Crepes and Waffles, even though there's no way at all you can miss it because it's the Starbucks of Colombia, except 10000x more delicious.

Make sure to get arepas con huevos if you can, preferably fried, I think they're more common on the coast?

Drink juice everywhere! The juice is so good! Eat papas criollos too!

Also make sure to go to the Usaquen market, if just for all of the food and sweets. There's a delicious bakery called BakedByAna somewhere near there that serves THE BEST chocolate bread in all of the world. And lots of adorable cupcakes.

Let me know if you have any other questions!

Plant Fire

@hellomynameis I don't have restaurant recommendations but ajiaco and sancocho are two of the best most tastiest soups in the world. Also if you like meat and have a big appetite try bandeja paisa (it has steak, chorizo, chicharron, avocado, fried egg, beans, rice all on one plate). Colombian food is the best food ever so you should have lots of fun.

hellomynameis

@terrific thanks for all of the recs! especially the "vegetarian" restaurant, which i'll definitely check out.

werewolfbarmitzvah

@Gone Away Lass I'd say get it if either you know that this is 110% what you want to do, or if the program you're looking at is super cheap, or if you can get maaaaaaaad scholarships or something. Because here's the thing: not a ton of library jobs out there. And library school, in my opinion from the one year of library school that I did before dropping out, is really, reeeeeeeeeeeally boring and tedious. Don't get saddled with the student loan debt if you aren't absolutely certain you want to be a librarian!

alpacasloth

It was decided this week that bf and I will be going to Paris for a week at Christmas to visit his mom, who will be staying for a month. I am so excited about this trip that I don't know how I will focus and work and live my life from now until December. I haven't been out of the country in six years, since I studied abroad in college, and we have never really traveled together (weekends in vegas don't count) so I am excited to see how well we do on a transatlantic trip. And that is my good news for the week.

toastandjam

@alpacasloth Awesome!! Don't miss the Musee d'Orsay!!

Faintly Macabre

@alpacasloth AAAHHH PARIS AT CHRISTMAS IS MAGICAL!! Also go to the Louvre's courtyard at night, when it's empty and you can bring snacks and look at the glowing pyramids. However, the Christmas Market is kind of a waste of time, unless you like buying Chinese trinkets with other non-French people. But really, MAGIQUE! And bring windproof things!

alpacasloth

@Faintly Macabre We'll be staying very close to the Louvre so I am excited for this! I've already been to Paris by myself and done most of the touristy stuff but my boyfriend hasn't been so I think it will be a totally new experience.

Cat named Virtute

@Gone Away Lass I'm taking time off from doing my MLIS at McGill. It's been a two-pronged battle for me because I've also been dealing with a lot of depression and isolation since moving here, which has definitely coloured my experience, but I still think it's wise to have a solid idea of what you're getting yourself into.

I'm afraid I can't tell you too much about KM, as I specialized in librarianship, but Hack Library School is a great starting place blog. I did take one KM class with Kim Dalkir, who is great, and pretty prominent in the field, so I'd recommend looking for articles by her. KM is basically about taking organizational principles from librarianship and applying them to environments like corporations, NGOs, and other organizations that involve lots of people who have to share information with one another/the public. Things to google: communities of practice, taxonomies, tacit vs explicit knowledge.

BattyRabbit

@Gone Away Lass I'm going to UIUC and I got an assistantship so hopefully the debt won't be tooooo crushing? Who am I kidding.

melis

This thread is really freaking me out because it feels like you're talking about me, or some computer-based facsimile thereof. "I've got my MLIS now and she'll never escape!"

Queen of Pickles

I'm taking myself to the Uncle Vanya (starring Cate Blanchett and Hugo Weaving, la di da) tonight! So excited! And tomorrow, barbeque at a friend's house. And working on cover letter/resume stuff all weekend like a crazy mad scientist mole in my little cavern of a room.

And next Thursday, I'm going to try out for a choir! The members put on concerts in old folks' homes and soup kitchens. Hope we like each other...

Myrtle

@Queen of Pickles There must be FOT updates, Pickle!

Queen of Pickles

@Myrtle FOT? Is this the new internet slang the youngsters are using?

Myrtle

@Queen of Pickles Well, Friday Open Thread. Pin's always good for lingo!

TheUnchosenOne

Hey, join me for TheUnchosenOne's Weekly Therapy Update: I had my first session Tuesday and it went really well. I like my therapist so far, even though I've only had one session.

It feels like it's already making a difference, because I am DOING SOMETHING and TAKING STEPS to fight my depression, LIKE A BOSS.

dj pomegranate

@TheUnchosenOne YOU = BOSS!

liverwortlaura

@TheUnchosenOne this makes my heart swell, as I have several loved ones who are not taking (or not able to be taking) steps like this, and it is so hard to a) be in that situation or b) care for people in that situation, especially when there are some very real things to be done to help out feeling anxious and/or depressed. GOOD LUCK moving forward!!!

sarah girl

@TheUnchosenOne That is awesome, so glad to hear it :)

BattyRabbit

@TheUnchosenOne Good work!! And good luck!

laurel

@TheUnchosenOne: I think yours is such an important, often over-looked point about the benefit of therapy: regardless of the quality of the therapist, you have taken such a big, important, life-affirming step by making and attending the appointment and reflecting on the discussion afterwards. Yay.

Cat named Virtute

@TheUnchosenOne Good for you! I am going to start doing it soon, and I'm excited/nervous, but hearing about other people starting is encouraging. Fingers crossed for both of us!

phillystout

@TheUnchosenOne You rock! Therapy is the best. I love going so much that I practically leap out of bed on Tuesday mornings because it's therapy day! Soon enough you'll find yourself at a point where you want to talk about -everything- but 45 minutes a week isn't enough to squeeze it all in. At least that's where I'm at, lol. I actually make a mental list before I go so I can discuss what's most useful at that point in time.

And yeah, definitely keep up the weekly updates.

kickupdust

I got accepted back to school for the fall! SO MANY FEELINGS. Terror, because the last time I was in school I wanted to throw myself under the bus at least five times a day; excitement, because school! learning things!; frustration, because whyyyyy are online registration systems the clunkiest things ever?; a heaping scoop of trepidation because science classes! which I haven't taken at a university level before... and the list goes on, so I'll leave it there.

But mostly excitement! Paging that lovely pinner that went to the University of Winnipeg?

apples and oranges

@kickupdust YAAY :)

(If science classes are super terrible, my university has a lot of (Free!) peer tutor programs. I'd bet it's common and you could probably find something similar!!)

Cat named Virtute

@kickupdust Reporting for duty, AND moving back to Winnipeg next week!

I worked at the reg office at U of Winnipeg. That online system is the very devil.

kickupdust

@kangerine for sure! I'm not super worried but if I get in over my head I'll definitely check that kind of thing out!

kickupdust

@Cat named Virtute aha there you are! why are you moving back to Winnipeg?

it is definitely, absolutely, the WORST. but I actually figured out my schedule and registered for everything with a minimum of tears, so that's something.

Cat named Virtute

@kickupdust Jobhunting is Montreal is currently the pits, so I'm going home for a bit to save some money.

What are you majoring in? Or are you doing a preprofessional program? Are you living in Winnipeg now?

soul toast

@Gone Away Lass I <3 knowledge management/organization. That's actually my specialization, with a focus on cataloging. The great things, is that opens up my career options a bit. I could work at a traditional library, or I could stay more on the tech/corporate side.
I'd recommend looking at the job postings compiled here to get an idea of what different library jobs are like: http://inalj.com/

Also, just to throw in that I'm doing UW's distance program, and I've worked full time throughout the whole program. Financially, it was the best way to go, for me.

buttercup empire

So I'm going to attempt to hike the Appalachian Trail next year. The thought of doing this induces great panic as I currently spend most days in front of a computer and I have no muscle. So I've started working out. Great right? Right. However, I NEED HELP. My ipod is my friend. I have music I love, but it's all too mellow. I can't run to mellow music. Got any suggestions for some face paced running tunes????????

liverwortlaura

@buttercup empire download a bunch of mashup mixtapes!!! mashupbreakdown.com is a good place to start, and a lot of them can be downloaded from soundcloud i think.

MoonBat

@liverwortlaura Oooh, and www.aplusd.net has tons of free mashups with the right kind of beat.
Buttercup, make sure you're doing lots of stairmaster stuff, the AT has a fair bit of climbing to it. And definitely look to spend some bucks on good hiking boots.

PistolPackinMama

@buttercup empire HAVE YOU JOINED FITOCRACY? COME BE MY FRIEND ON THE PINNERS GROUP! I will cheer you on as you train!

The Hood Internet Mixtape 5!

churlishgreen

@buttercup empire it's not music, but Bill Bryson's A Walk in the Woods is a great, funny book about walking the trail.

double paw?

@buttercup empire girl talk's feed the animals gets me through many a workout.

@serenityfound

@buttercup empire I used to run to Goo Goo Dolls in college, specifically the Dizzy Up the Girl album! I doubt it would work for anyone but me, but I found it just right.

buttercup empire

@Moonbat Oh god yes. The stairmaster is my friend/AN AWFUL INVENTION THAT WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH TO TORTURE ME! We have a really unhealthy relationship the stairmaster and I. Between that devil and the personal trainer I just shelled out serious bucks for, I think I'm making enough progress that I won't die. This is a good thing.

@PistolPackingMama You might have me convinced! I need cheers. seriously.

@churlishgreen Yes, read it. I've been reading hiking books like it's my job. The planning for this has taken over my life. I have a binder with tabs and charts and color coding... it's a little out of control

like a rabid squirrel

@buttercup empire I love mash ups for working out, but also have a soft spot for rap and hip hop of debatable quality. My favorite for years has been "Badd" by the Ying Yang Twins. I don't know what it is but it just gets me pumped up.

Also I second joining Fitocracy, it's awesome.

darklingplain

@buttercup empire That's so exciting! I've thought a lot about trying the Appalachian trail, though I tend to get sick of backpacking after a couple weeks so it might not be for me. Are you planning to go northbound or southbound?

dj pomegranate

@buttercup empire You are hiking the whole trail!? Because that is awesome. I hiked 11 miles of it in Georgia (so....5% of the trail, ahahahaha) this summer and it... was hard! But great! And super gorgeous. I am in awe of your dedication!

buttercup empire

@darklingplain Northbound. It supposed to be easier than doing southbound and with the amount of work it is, I'm definitely going with the "easy" version.

@dj pomegranate Yes the whole thing. But honestly if I got through half of it I would be so happy/proud of myself. If I do the whole thing, there will be extreme and excessive joy. I really mean EXTREME & EXCESSIVE joy.

darklingplain

@buttercup empire Also northbound is nice because the Whites and Mahoosucs are absolutely gorgeous and they'll be a nice treat for you to look forward to.

social theory

@buttercup empire @double paw? girl talk is my motivator!

Inkling

@buttercup empire
Voting on Girl Talk (All Day) as well, along with Three 6 Mafia (Lolli Lolli, Squeeze It) because they're just the best. However, if you like mellower tones, some songs have a good jogging rhythm with soft vocals, such as Hugo's 99 Problems.
Here is that, as an Avengers music video because I am a loser.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsfActafojc

sarah girl

I posted a couple of weeks ago about starting Abilify for depression, and I wanted to report back and say that it has honestly, literally changed my life. I could feel a real difference in about 4 days, different than I've ever felt on previous medications.

The best way to describe it is that the little voice in my head that is so mean, that says I'm an awful person and can't do anything right and why even try you know you'll fail and also you're ugly - the Abilify took the volume knob on that voice and turned it down to 1. And I mean that seriously - I either don't get those automatic negative responses at all, or they're weaker and I can "out-think" them better.

Also, motivation. A new feeling! I've been a little manic, even (not literally), because I'm like "holy shit, things! I want to do things! I WILL DO THEM ALL"

In conclusion, amazing. I am not a doctor and don't make any claims about other people's diagnoses, but seriously: If you're like me and have run through several antidepressants without success, consider bringing up Abilify to your doctor next time you see her/him. (NOT AN AD, I PROMISE.)

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Sarah H. Dude. I had a similar experience with the anti-depression I'm on (not Abilify) and it made me want to do things in my life again. It also dropped my anxiety levels that I hadn't realized were so ridiculously high. Driving became more enjoyable; so did my job. It's really incredible. I'm so happy for you, truly.

Exene

@Sarah H. Side effects? Every time I flip past Abilify's magazine ad with the doc helping the woman out of the manhole, I think about looking into it. I haven't had a lot of luck with 'butrin or SSRIs.

Also, I.R.O.T.O.T.R., what do you take?

sarah girl

@Exene Thus far, I've had little to no side effects (although I am only a couple of weeks in, caveat). The first two days I was oddly irritable, and I've had a little bit of daytime drowsiness; manageable, though. A lot of people get muscle restlessness from it, but I haven't had any of that; there a slight chance of weight gain, but it seems really low (especially compared to other drugs in its class, BIG difference).

The nice thing about it is if it works, it'll work within the first work or two, which means side effects should show up quickly as well. It's not like other depression meds where you have to kick around for 6 weeks to feel any effect, good or bad.

sovereignann@twitter

@Sarah H. I will have to talk to my doctor about this. ANYTHING that turns that damn voice down!!! Good god of your choosing! That is what keeps me in all these crap positions in life. I must be there because I deserve to be since I'm not a good enough person, am I right? NO! But yes is what I keep hearing.

sarah girl

@sovereignann@twitter I totally feel you!! It is the strangest thing to not hear that voice as much, or at all. Example: The other day, I was in Barnes & Noble and saw a cute little cross-stitch kit for not much money. Pre-Abilify, my mental process would have gone "Ooh, let's get that! Ugh, no, you already have like five kits, you haven't even started most of them, and by the way you're a failure because you haven't finished these projects, can you even finish a project, ever? You are a bad person."

Post-Abilify: "Huh, that's a cute kit. Well, I already have a few I can work on; I won't buy that one today." THE END. I seriously stood there, confused, waiting for the berating to start, and it didn't!

The way my therapist explained it is that the really strong inner negative voice is actually a really, really minor form of psychosis (REALLY minor, he was sure to emphasize, it doesn't mean the person IS psychotic)? And since the Abilify is in the anti-psychotic drug class, it's formulated to work against inner voices that shouldn't be there, although usually ones that are associated with psychosis/schizophrenia. That might be total bullshit and neither I nor my therapist are scientists, but it kind of made sense to me!

kickupdust

@Sarah H. holy moly that sounds awesome! I'm so glad it's working for you, that mean inner voice is SERIOUSLY THE WORST.

billie_crusoe

@Sarah H. I had a similar experience with Abilify. Amazing! I ended up going off it for some side effects I can't remember now, probably weight gain. But I definitely recommend trying it! (I find that every.single.antidepressant that works for me gives me side effects, and the ones that don't work have no side effects. Which I guess makes sense.)

Myrtle

@Sarah H. Thanks for posting this. I don't think my meds are the right fit. They're doing some good and a lot of bad. Mostly, they've killed my creativity and left me feeling like a cog in the machine. And I gained weight. Must try something that has a different approach.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

You guys! I'm headed to Scotland for 12 DAYS tomorrow. I'm meeting up with my sister and a friend there. We're going to drink scotch and get confounded by accents, and I'm having trouble focusing at work (obvi).

olivebee

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Oooh, exciting! Have so much fun and bring back stories for the next time you are here for a Friday Open Thread!

PistolPackinMama

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose JEALOUS.

And if you are in Glasgow, and you like to knit, go to the Yarn Cake on Queen Margaret Drive, up by the Uni. If you like German pastries, go there anyway, even if you don't knit.

A friend owns it, and she sells natural fibers and delicious sweets and very good coffee and tea.

Tell her Kate from MN says Hi!

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@PistolPackinMama Oh my god a real life interaction overseas that evolved from the Hairpin. The Internet is a wonder.

PistolPackinMama

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose The Yarn Cake is worth the trip! And the owner/staff are just so nice!

http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-yarn-cake-glasgow

trappedinabay

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose - Are you going to Glasgow?? If so, you should go to my favorite pub ever, The Drum & Monkey: http://www.nicholsonspubs.co.uk/thedrumandmonkeystvincentstreetglasgow/ They have the most delicious food and the most wonderful dranks!

PistolPackinMama

@trappedinabay MAKE A PUB CRAWL OF IT! Go to the Oran Mor bar for a Play a Pie and a Pint! Speaking of lovely dranks!

Cat named Virtute

@melis PRECIOUSSSSSSSS.

liverwortlaura

thesis work.... persists :( I feel like I really shot my wad in the final stretch to get things done and prepare for the defense but now.... I have one more week to do all the revisions I haven't started and I just. Can't. I have no energy for this. All I want to do is go blueberry picking/camping/swimming/popsicle eating/watch the olympics. at least the weather is nice? OH! AND A SQUIRREL CHEWED THROUGH MY KITCHEN WINDOW SCREEN and ate half a loaf of bread (but not the almonds that were on the counter??) so, that's gross and also now I can't open my kitchen window! Squirrels!

maybe partying will help

@liverwortlaura

Squirrels are bastards. Once when I was camping a squirrel chewed through my backpack and ate all my Fig Newtons.

adorable-eggplant

@maybe partying will help One time I took a nap on campus and woke up to find a squirrel foraging in my backpack nearby. I was to scared to approach/disturb it, so I watched from a safer distance as it found a package of crackers and stole them. Honestly, the squirrels at my uni have no fear.

EpWs

@liverwortlaura Take a day off, do ALL the fun things and recharge, and then get back to it! You are SO CLOSE YOU ARE ALMOST THERE. And you'll feel so much better when it's done.

Also, wtf, squirrels?

maybe partying will help

@adorable-eggplant

Oh man one time I was sitting on campus eating some peanut M&Ms and a squirrel actually JUMPED ONTO MY LEG. College squirrels are just like a whole other wackadoo sub-breed.

adorable-eggplant

@maybe partying will help Oh my god, that's the stuff of nightmares. My friend accidentally kicked a squirrel (softly) because he was trying to shoo it away. He did one of those slow motion shuffles, so the squirrel had plenty of warning, and then sort of scooped his foot toward the squirrel. Not only did it not back down, it then began to make that 'chit-chit' noise. We ran the other direction.

iheartoxytocin

@adorable-eggplant One time my friends and I caught a squirrel on our campus dragging off an entire piece of pizza, in the middle of the day, like a boss

adorable-eggplant

@liverwortlaura So I was distracted by my fear/fascination with squirrels (@iheartoxytocin: a whole pizza... damn) but also, sympathy for your thesis woes!! And what does 'go blueberry' mean?

Cat named Virtute

@liverwortlaura http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnl4AVZr5gQ ?

liverwortlaura

@adorable-eggplant sorry, go blueberry picking.
@squirrels I actually watched this squirrel for a long time this morning, and he's actually so so so cute (and hung like crazy!). He has kind of a fat face and his fur has all these little cowlicks making him look not unlike a chinchilla?? BUT he is also unrelenting, now that he knows food is to be had in my house. He has now sheared off the entire bottom edge of the screen. We sprinkled cayenne pepper all over the outside window sill, but now dude is starting to hang out on other windowsills? I'm worried he will chew through them ALL and I will not be able to open any windows! I should note that our neighbors FEED THE SQUIRRELS anyway, so that sucks, and has rendered them crazy, like the Uni Squirrels described above.

adorable-eggplant

@liverwortlaura I was hoping it was something like 'go rogue', but in fact turn into a blueberry. Blueberry picking sounds lovely though. Maybe a physical activity would help you focus for writing? This is my perennial excuse when I've decided I need to go for a swim/run/be outside. I'm still working or "preparing" to work...

liverwortlaura

@Cat named Virtute THANK YOU FOR THIS

liverwortlaura

@adorable-eggplant I like this better! I will try to work it into conversations. Or threats. "Don't go blueberry on me!" "Don't MAKE me go blueberry!"

adorable-eggplant

@liverwortlaura Yes! It's especially threatening because it's not really clear what that means or what the consequences will be. Cannot wait for my first opportunity to deploy this phrase. :)

okaycrochet

@adorable-eggplant Ask Veruca. She can tell you.

frigwiggin

Oh! I know only like three people probably cared about this when I was talking before, but my dad is feeling better! (Weekly Dad Updates with Frigwiggin.) He got a vitamin B shot on like Tuesday and apparently it did wonders for the depression he was lapsing back into, and he messaged me being all "hey hey hey I'm good I'm great I got the car fixed!" and it made me so happy since he was so low before. I just hope the feeling stays with him instead of this being the high in a high/low cycle.

Lily Rowan

@frigwiggin Yay for your dad! (As long as I'm stalking you across the Hairpin today?)

And my sick cat got a B-12 shot this week, and the vet said his mom was getting same ones. So Vitamin B shots all around!

MoonBat

@frigwiggin Yays for Daddy frigwiggin!!!

EpWs

@frigwiggin DADS! I'm so glad yours is feeling better!

billie_crusoe

@frigwiggin YAY DAD! That's wonderful!

adorable-eggplant

FOT yeah! So I've had a semi-awesome week. I did yoga again for the first time in forever, made another batch of angostura bitters and banana cookies, and updated my blog. Whee! Any other 'pinners still freaking out about Legend of Korra? I keep hoping for a good chat.

Also, did anyone else have a freakout about that anglo-saxon heritage comment from the Romney staffer? I told my boyfriend I was giving up and moving to an uninhabited island, but not like atlas shrugged because my island will have a public library and universal healthcare.

sovereignann@twitter

@adorable-eggplant That comment! That MAN! Gahhhh!!!!! Also, I will join you on the island. I can...oh, I don't know, contribute in some way that doesn't involve math.

kickupdust

@adorable-eggplant ooh awesome! how did you make the bitters - any recipes online you'd recommend?

adorable-eggplant

@sovereignann@twitter Welcome to my island! Did you see the Colbert riff on that comment? Yay to him for pointing out that celts=/=anglo-saxt know) was how unsubtle and ignorant of history that comment was. Also, special relationship is special? Srsly? Sigh. Picturing soothing ocean waves and breezes. Calming down.

@kickupdust Just plain ol' angostura bitters that I purchased already bitter'd.

wee_ramekin

@adorable-eggplant I'm still freaking out about LoK! I have actually started watching all the Avatar: The Last Airbender episodes again to get my fix of that universe.

Are you the 'Pinner who has a blog about LoK? I think we talked in the last Friday Open Thread, and I asked you if you wanted to exchange e-mails and chat with me about LoK, but I asked that kind of late, and maybe you didn't see it. Would you be up for that?!

adorable-eggplant

@wee_ramekin Oh that would be awesome! Sorry, yes, I only check in here sporadically. And that would be lovely! Send me an email at tamago.unagi (at) gmail (dot) com, and I would be happy to talk LoK. I've been pretty vague on the blog for fear of spoilers, but I have soo much to saaay, and I'm watching Avatar now, too. It's so wonderful. I've always been a dork for animated shows, but this one takes the cake, as far as I'm concerned. :)

sovereignann@twitter

You guys I am trying soooooo hard to leave work at 4:00 (so get off of the Open Thread Sovereignann--jeez) and so far it's working. Also...OLYMPICS! yaaaayyyyy!!!!

mangosara

I GOT A JOB! And it's the job I'm most interested in out of all the ones I've applied to! SO EXCITED. Except now I'm going through the salary negotiation process and I'm a little bit unsure of how to start since it's my first job out of undergrad and everything is scary! But they offered me a salary that's in the 25th percentile for the position and industry I'm in. Wah.

In addition to getting a job, I GOT A SINUS INFECTION! In July, somehow! Also wah. Growing up in a tropical climate didn't do much for my immune system.

So... now I need suggestions on where to buy cute/cheap/not boring work clothing. HELP?

PistolPackinMama

@mangosara Yay job! What kind? Boo sinuses!

mangosara

@PistolPackinMama It's actually in my field and everything! I'll be an analyst at an environmental consulting firm working on clean energy and climate-related projects. Lots of work with the EPA and local/municipal governments.

olivebee

@mangosara Congrats on the job!! And I, too, am in a very low pay level for the position I am in, so I feel your pain. But see how it goes for awhile, and maybe they'll give you some nice big pay bumps after you've been there long enough.

I don't know about clothes, but I get 95% of my shoes from DSW. Cute flats, cute boots, cute heels/wedges, etc., and if you sign up for their rewards program, you get pretty big discounts/coupons at least one a month. It's awesome.

themmases

@mangosara Congratulations! I think Mike Dang has written a few things over at The Billfold about salary negotiations; good luck!

I was at H&M the other day to buy the cheapest possible pants but they actually had nicer stuff than what I bought, including several different suits and a bunch of button-downs. I didn't want to tempt myself so I didn't try any on, but even if they're not super nice they were super cheap and are probably good enough to help you until you have a full wardrobe built up.

I get a lot of work stuff at Express and The Limited, too. Their work stuff is expensive (to me) full price, but there is nearly always a sale or buying full price will qualify you for some weird "money off next time" deal. Also, ModCloth. Not for everything, but for a few cute pieces to perk up your more boring professional outfits.

iheartoxytocin

@olivebee DSW IS THE BEST

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@olivebee
Oooh, now that there's one on State Street, maybe I will sign up!

mangosara

@themmases @olivebee excellent! how could I have forgotten DSW? also, I never ever venture into the business-y section of H&M but that is a great idea. guess I've figured out what to do this weekend... I also feel like lots of people are having sales right now because of the pending season change (WAH) so that could work in my benefit.

I've definitely seen some stuff at ModCloth and Ruche and the like that I think could work to spice things up but I also am not exactly sure what the dress code is going to be at this office--relatively casual, I think, because the people I interviewed with were dressed very casually, but I don't want to go crazy and buy lots of cute things that I think are appropriate (likely to happen) and then have them not be appropriate.

mangosara

@mangosara also does anybody have Pinterest boards or people to rec for stuff like this?

Plant Fire

@mangosara I might be going through the same thing soon (I hope!) and I've found that the salary section of askamanager.com is really useful (just go to the right side and scroll down until you see salary). She covers a lot of stuff with salary negotiation and what to do if you've been offered a salary that is lower than you want/think you should get.

Faintly Macabre

@olivebee And if you like DSW on Facebook, you can win loads and loads of gift cards just by being lucky and vaguely tech-savvy. I just won my fourth $50 gift card to there, no strings attached, by basically doing nothing. It kind of creeps me out how much they give away, honestly, but I think they make the money back in obsessive people who buy everything in the store.

Shayna

@mangosara Express has really nice basics, including solid blouses (I think they're still there at any rate). Really nice basic tops and skirts that you can spice up with shoes and jewelry. Think mix n' match?

mangosara

@all Thanks guys! I had an extremely satisfactory weekend of online shopping and will be launching into full-on career wardrobe shopping mode once I get paid on Friday. Especially thanks for the DSW Facebook info because I LOVE THAT PLACE.

queenieliz

This www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2012/07/olympic_smiles_how_to_identify_athletes_nationalities_based_on_their_facial_expressions_.html was linked in the sidebar of the Eva Rausing article, and I found it very amusing! There is a guessing game! I got all of them wrong except for the USA athletes and one Australian!

Scandyhoovian

@queenieliz I kept mixing Brits and Americans up! The "all top teeth" thing was listed as American in the article, but many of the example Brits are doing it, too. Sneaky!

TheLetterL

@queenieliz That is really interesting stuff! ...but I failed at the quiz.

fondue with cheddar

FUUUUCK. 5 minutes ago my boss informed me that if we remain as slow as we've been this week, we're going to have to go back to 35-hour weeks. See, I used to work 40 hours a week, but awhile back he cut us all to 7-hour days. A few weeks ago my boss told me I could start working 40 hours again. Yesterday I just got my first 80-hour biweekly paycheck in over a year (maybe as much as two? I don't remember). GEE, THANKS FOR DANGLING THAT IN MY FACE. NOW I FEEL WORSE THAN BEFORE.

I know the obvious thing would be to look for another job, but I don't even want to work in this field anymore. I don't like it, and I certainly don't want to start over at a new company doing something I don't like. I'm just waiting to get financially stable so I can quit and go back to school for something different. We're really struggling right now, and there are some things that are up in the air that I'm hoping will be resolved soon*, in which case we'll know what our financial picture will be. Until then we've been trying to hang on, trying to wait it out. Yesterday's paycheck helped, and I was really looking forward to more of them. I need more of them.

I'm on the verge of going in the bathroom to cry. Everything in my life is in limbo and it's getting harder and harder to deal with. I don't know how much longer I can hang on.**

*Cryptic, I know. But that's a whole other story.

**I'm not referring to life itself, but to my sanity.

fondue with cheddar

@jen325 I feel like I'm always complaining on Friday Open Thread. I'm sorry. I've just got a lot of lousy shit going on.

@serenityfound

@jen325 That is one of the things the Open Thread is for. So you can complain and people can give you hugs on the internet. *Hugs*

adorable-eggplant

@jen325 Hang in there! m ^_^ m (motivational kitten hanging on to invisible branch of sanity)

Maybe there are freelance type things you could do that would be less of a commitment then another job, but would help bring in extra cash? Work disappointment sux hard, because it's so hard to control and affects so many other life things. Maybe unspecified things will be resolved soon and there will be less pressure? I hope so. :)

Danzig!

@jen325 Of course we complain in the Friday Open Thread! We're given a whole 7 days in which things pile up and we have to vent. What else would we do, get therapy? Ha ha ha ha

(being in therapy does not necessarily preclude coming in here, fwiw)

realtalk

@jen325 1. that sounds so hard, and I'm so sorry, and I'm sending hugs and love and hanging-in-there wishes. 2. this is the internet! if people don't want to read your comments/support you, they don't have to read them/comment on them, you know?

fondue with cheddar

@adorable-eggplant Thanks. :) Unfortunately, freelance isn't an option for me. My computer is very old and my software is ancient, so I can't really do my thing (which is graphic design) at home. Also, several years back I got seriously burned doing freelance so I'm more than a little apprehensive about doing it again. But besides, it's work I don't enjoy so I really don't want to do more of it (not to mention the fact that, personality-wise, freelance doesn't work for me). I've been trying to think of something else I can do to make money, but I really don't have any other marketable skills besides retail, and that's just not worth the miniscule amount of money they pay you.

My boyfriend is trying to resurrect his business, but that and a whole lot of other issues are all tangled together, and we've been so scattered trying to figure out what to focus on because we keep encountering roadblocks. Time seems to be the only reasonable way to start the untangling process, but it's moving so slowly. My boyfriend is trying to get divorced from a psychopath (I wish I were saying that figuratively, but I'm not), and it's very messy. So there's uncertainty and all sorts of legal bullshit to wade through. The court date is supposed to be a month from now, and it won't necessarily resolve everything but it will help. Even if he gets screwed at least we would know what we're dealing with.

Maybe unspecified things will be resolved soon and there will be less pressure? I hope so. Thanks. :) That's exactly what I keep telling myself. But I've been trying to be strong for so long that my strength is starting to fade and I'm afraid to fall apart now. UGH...MONEY, RIGHT?

How's this for a visible branch? ==m=^_^=m==

fondue with cheddar

@Danzig! Haha, good point. I was in therapy but that's one of the "luxuries" we had to cut out. Really though, everyone here is so awesome it's not a bad substitute for (and a great supplement to) therapy.

@realtalk Thanks. That's a good point, too! Sometimes I just feel bad complaining because other people post happy news or ask weird questions or talk about world events or whatever. But other people vent too, so I guess I shouldn't feel bad. And wonderful people like you always respond! :)

fondue with cheddar

The only plus is that now I have an extra hour a day to spend on The Hairpin (because the boyfriend and I carpool).

adorable-eggplant

@jen325 Great addition to the emoticon! Yes, visible sanity branches! And in my experience, uncertainty is so much harder than... well, almost anything else. Sigh.

My trick when therapy was off the table was to a) read a lot about therapy [felt like some dickensian orphan peering in the window, but it helped] and borrow some of the techniques-- like keeping a journal and b) set aside time for calming but stuff like hot baths and yoga.

Maybe once things have settled down, you can make a plan (I find those really comforting) about transitioning work. Maybe it would help (feel hopefulness inspiring) to start thinking about what you could do, if you had unlimited options. Think about what you love the most, etc. That kind of fantasizing can be fun, if you don't feel too much pressure to make everything happen right away.

fondue with cheddar

@adorable-eggplant Keeping a journal is a great idea, but I've never been great about keeping up with them. Fortunately, my boyfriend and I communicate with each other very well and very often, which helps a lot. We feel quite free to talk to each other about anything and everything. And we do take time for calming things (I'm much better about that than he is because for me it's a real NEED, even in easier times).

That kind of fantasizing is something we both do all the time! It is fun, and although it can be a bit depressing at times because all those things feel so far out of reach, we both understand how important and therapeutic it is. Our current big fantasy is to travel around the country in a camper, which is impossible (or at least a very bad idea), but it's a lot of fun to think about because it's the opposite of the life we're living now in a lot of ways, except for the part about us being together which is the best part of both the real and fantasy scenarios. :)

adorable-eggplant

@jen325 Yup to the opposite thing! I crave stability and have done a lot of work to set that up, but sometimes I like to imagine throwing it all up in the air and living in a cabin in the wilderness or backpacking indefinitely, etc. Maybe you could do a car trip weekend to a nearby town? I've even had a fun time taking an adventure to the 'burbs of my city. Sometimes I do a picnic in the municipal park a few blocks from my house. My boyfriend has all this camping gear, so we take his foldable plates and collapsable spork and it feels just a tiny bit like camping.

fondue with cheddar

@adorable-eggplant Living in the cabin in the wilderness is a fantasy, too. :)

We've talked about it doing a weekend road trip, but lack of finances and all this life bullshit and the people in it keep getting in the way. In the meantime we're trying to be content with small adventures like roasting marshmallows over a fire in the backyard. Not so adventuresome, but nice.

adorable-eggplant

@jen325 Mmmarshmallows! That sounds lovely.

Myrtle

@jen325 Whenever I've wanted to walk from my well-paying but health-eating job, I've gone to temp agencies. They've put me on interesting jobs in fields I wouldn't have thought of, or have any access to. They're great for the ego, and most have free (re)training on office programs with current versions of software. One idea is you may want to make a connection with an agency now, so if your current job ends you won't fall into an abyss. Another idea that came to me is that the agency may have some project- based work offers, which would allow you to set your own schedule to coordinate with your work. Another advantage of this agency idea is you will get paid. even if they got stiffed, they're still going to pay you b/c instant lawsuit if they don't. Can you qualify for free retraining at your Unemployment office? Low-income student loan possible? This dust-up may be the break you've been looking for.

fondue with cheddar

@Myrtle You know, I hadn't considered temp agencies. I used them years ago and had bad experiences through it, but I was much younger. Maybe they just gave me the crappiest jobs that nobody wanted.

I was under the impression that you have to be unemployed (i.e. laid off) to qualify for free retraining, but that's something to look into. I haven't even looked into student loans yet; our life is too crazy right now for me to even think about that, but everything should be settled by Labor Day. Whether it will be better or worse is anybody's guess, but at least we'll know what we're dealing with. It's hard to make plans when everything is uncertain.

Myrtle

@jen325 Yeah, sometimes it's a job someone else walked out on. But sometimes it's for a special project and then they find a place for you if they want you to stay. They're so happy to get people that show up and do the work and then if you're friendly, too, you'll likely get a job offer. They also have Contract positions and stated Temp-to-Perm. Once the agency's put you on a couple jobs and gets to know you, the positions they send you out on are ones that are a better fit. Remember that the agencies' rep rests on your work, and dress and act like a team player with their clients, and the agency will start calling you with tips and requests for interviews. If they place you permanently, your person at the agency makes a nice commission, so they're motivated to help you. I've worked with Select, OfficeTeam/Robert Half, and Kelly IT, and they've all been terrific. Great service! Hope it's good for you, too.

Myrtle

@Myrtle PS California used to have a program where they'd pay you the money you're missing from the cutback, so you could say in your job! And offer retraining, but our state ran out of monies. Good luck!

fondue with cheddar

@Myrtle Thanks great, thanks!

SheWhoReadsInSkirts

...man I can not get work done today. I just read the entire open thread. Whoops. I never do open threads guys. I'm not sure why, but I have zero motivation to do shit-all. Friiiidays. :(

terrific

@SheWhoReadsInSkirts Seriously. This is the worst / laziest Friday ever. I can't work at ALL.

like a rabid squirrel

@SheWhoReadsInSkirts I keep meaning to work but the open thread keeps sucking me back in... Is it happy hour yet?

romastrega

@SheWhoReadsInSkirts I keep meaning to go run errands.... and then I get sucked back in.....

lora.bee

@SheWhoReadsInSkirts My boss has left so now I am EVEN MORE unmotivated.

rosencrantz

@SheWhoReadsInSkirts I am having a staring contest with the clock. Who will win? It's the clock. The clock wins. I've already cracked and read the entire open thread toooo.

dale

@SheWhoReadsInSkirts I've done practically nothing either! Mostly because a really awesome person got fired from here last week ("let go", "made redundant", whatever, assholes) and we're all still reeling a bit from the terrible way it went down. Now we're all in hm, I don't care mode.

VolcanoMouse

@SheWhoReadsInSkirts Ugh, you guys. I have not done a stitch (literally, I'm a costume seamstress) of work today, and I told myself I can't go have fun until this project is done.

Time to substitute coffee for motivation? Or will that just make me procrastinate at a higher frequency?

SheWhoReadsInSkirts

@lora.bee My boss is rarely ever here, so I pretty much always have to be self motivated, but I just don't have it in me today at all. ;_;

lora.bee

@SheWhoReadsInSkirts TEAM NOT MOTIVATED UNITE

SheWhoReadsInSkirts

@lora.bee I don't know, maybe tomorrow. I'm not feeling motivated right now.

(Goddamn it internet, why are you still toneless for the communication thing.)

StandardTuber

@Gone Away Lass I have no advice other than the movie Party Girl with Parker Posey is too awesome for any budding librarian to not watch. Check it out!
:)

Danzig!

So begins the work of preparing for a 9 AM flight from LGA back home on Tuesday. Not really a big deal except I've been going to bed at 5 and getting up at 1 or 2 since school ended (no job!). I guess I'll either pull an all-nighter or get creative with my sleeping medication.

The clouds in NYC last night were gorgeous, and we didn't even have all that bad of weather! Then again I was inside for a King Khan show for the majority.

Here's an ~8tracks thing~ http://8tracks.com/socraticmethodman/i-thought-death-had-not-undone-so-many

New Hoarder

@Danzig! I totally see a brontosaurus in the cloud in the Open Thread picture above. Brontosaurus, brachiosaurus, apotosaurus, whatever. I see a DINOSAUR in that CLOUD.

@serenityfound

Are there any motorcycle/scooter-riding 'Pinners who can give me some tips on purchasing gear and stuff without breaking the bank? I'm taking classes for my motorcycle endorsement next week in anticipation of buying a 150cc-250cc scooter and have no gear at all yet. Advice - it would be appreciated!

Roxanne Rholes

@@serenityfound Eee, congratulations! I got my sweet old leather jacket on Craiglist, so I would definitely recommend that...it's hard to find ladysize things, but worth looking. For shoes, I've always just worn my sturdy hiking boots because they're high enough to protect my ankles anyway. Gloves can get sweaty, and nice ones are worth it, so I'd just hit up a bike shop for those and not buy used. And of course, go all out and buy yourself a good, brand new full face helmet! If you have a shitty helmet you won't want to wear it, and if you don't wear it you could get dead or end up looking like the Phantom of the Opera. (No offense, Phantom, I just think she probably wants to keep the face she has.)

queenieliz

@@serenityfound Yeah! eBay and Craigslist are gold mines of lightly used ladies gear (ex-girlfriend gear..haha) lots of closeout sites online too, like motorcyclegear.com and extremesupply.com (I've had great experience with both of them) Gearchic.com is a good source for recommendations, she's a pro! You for sure want to get a new helmet like @Roxanne Rholes says(never buy a used helmet, unless it's from a very trusted source), and go to a shop to try it on (even if you end up buying online) because fit is extremely important. Find a dealership, they will be knowledgeable and helpful. Gear is pricey but it is an investment in your future health, comfort and safety!

KeLynn

@@serenityfound yayyy! I just got a scooter this year! First of all, you might want to just get a helmet to start? I'd hate for you to spend $$$ on gear only to take the class and realize you feel "meh" about it. And I think most classes only require you to have a helmet, pants, and a long sleeve tee, not actual riding gear.

I think you need actual, professional help getting a helmet. I went to a huge shop and they helped me pick a helmet based on my head size/shape. It's something I would have no idea about on my own. After I found my helmet, I realized that last year's ugly model was on clearance, so I got that (after checking with the guy that it was the same helmet, just an ugly print). They had tons of clearance gloves too (although I bought mine full price because I like mine better than what was on sale). While I was there, I tried on pretty much every armored jacket they had to figure out which brands fit me best (because they vary WILDLY), then I found a clearance summer jacket I liked from a brand that fits me on motorcycle-superstore.com. I bought my winter jacket used from a friend who had outgrown it but had never crashed in that particular jacket. I think all in all I spent $250? Which is not so bad for things that have to keep your body in one piece.

BUT of course there's also lower-half protection, a category I'm woefully under-supplied in. I just wear jeans and boots (they're sturdy, leather, over-the-ankle, rubber sole....but still "fashion" boots, not actual riding boots). Honestly I'm probably going to keep wearing that setup, but I'm not going to recommend that you do it. It's definitely riskier.

(btw, something to think about - most armored jackets don't have CE-rated back pads, so you might want to buy one of those separately and replace the one that comes with the jacket.)

@serenityfound

@all THANK YOU! I'm doing the classes at a Harley Davidson dealership, so they provide helmets and have a shop where I can get gloves. I just bought a couple of pairs of over-the-ankle boots this afternoon (although, like @KeLynn, they are more "fashion" boots than hiking ones. But I don't live within walking distance of any stores that sell sturdier boots and don't currently have transport...) because I didn't own any. I will visit all the sites and try things on when I'm at the HD dealership, too!

Tam
Tam

Pinner who is looking for a roommate (and has a piano), Logan over at the Billfold is looking for a roommate too (she doesn't have a place, though) in Brooklyn. Good luck!

EpWs

@Tam I believe you're looking for @Didldidi!

apples and oranges

Does anyone have any experience with ovarian cysts? My stomach has been kinda janky/I skipped a period this month and my mom suggested an ovarian cyst (I know, I know - my mom is not a doctor). I'm going to get a pelvic exam in a couple weeks so I guess not a big deal but just wondering about the collective wisdom and experience of the Pin world.

themmases

@kangerine I had one when I had super cramps after getting my Mirena put in. Most of the time they are harmless and will go away on their own, although it's possible to be tender over that side.

They're well seen with ultrasound (transvaginal is better for this though-- sorry) and it's common to check for them again one or a few months later at a different point in your cycle to see if they've resolved on their own. You would really only need to get it removed if it wouldn't resolve on its own or kept growing or looked different from a simple cyst in some sinister way. This is what I read when I had one: http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/ovarian-cysts.cfm#e

Also, they are most often caused by ovulating so hormonal birth control can also be an option if this keeps happening to you. Unless you have something more serious like PCOS or a big nasty rogue cyst, they are often not a big deal. Best of luck!

noodge

@kangerine uh, i have cystic ovaries with the occasional big cyst. it can cause weird ovulation. i feel it as a pinching/pressure in my lower abdomen/pelvis, on the sides. I especially feel it when I start to pee. is that what you meant by "janky" stomach?
if you've got one, you'll likely REALLY feel it when you get your pelvic exam.

KeLynn

@kangerine I am lousy with cysts! I have PCOS. When I was diagnosed my doctors pretty much told me I had them, but they never ordered an ultrasound or anything like that. They just assumed they were up there. (And I've seen about half a dozen doctors in being diagnosed with PCOS and in treating it ever since, and none of them ever ordered any sort of ultrasound/scan.) (They ended up getting a picture of them incidentally because I had a scan of my GI tract and they saw my ovaries in there. And it confirmed that I am riddled with them!)

The consensus pretty much seems to be that if they aren't causing total excruciating pain or bursting all the time, my Drs are happy leaving well enough alone. If it does get out of control, they can go in there and cut 'em out. But even before they knew I had full-blown PCOS, and my gyno just sort of guessed "oh you probably have cysts" she didn't seem to think it was a big deal at all if I wasn't suffering abnormally much. So! Definitely see your doctor if you aren't feeling well, but don't stress out about it too much!

JadedStone

EVERYBODY is watching Rupaul's Drag U, right?

I hate makeover shows but I adore Drag U. WATCH DRAG U. DRAG U IS AMAZING AND LATTRRRRIIICCCEEEE!!!!

mirah

@Jade

Um, yes, of course. Who isn't watching? That episode with both Willam and Chad Michaels did not have nearly enough shade-throwing, imo. Also my friend and I met Willam in Hollywood at a Drag Race cocktail party thing--such a nice guy in real life!

Although I will say I'm a bit more excited for Drag Race All-Stars!

lorenzo

@Jade I LOOOOOVE everything Rupaul related. Raven and Jujubee are the best on this show. The good-natured fake drama makes me really happy. I also feel strangely empowered after watching it. It makes me want to bring out my inner drag queen :)

ImASadGiraffe

So I made the decision to apply to jobs in a different metro area because I'm tired of my life in my current city and there is no job growth potential in my chosen field, but there is lots in the new city. I've sent in 9 job applications this week, and hoping one of them sticks.

All the fingers crossed!

Also, I'm really loving Fitocracy and the 'Pinners group.

cecil hungry

So my manlier half and I are planning to drive to St. Louis for a short vacation over Labor Day weekend. We're definitely planning to do Forest Park/Zoo and the City Museum, but what are some lesser known things to do? What are the coolest bars and restaurants? Any good CHEAP hotels? Where in STL should we plan on staying?

aperson

@cecil hungry The botanical gardens are really lovely, and whenever anyone came to town when I was there, they always wanted to go to the Arch. Blueberry Hill is a dive/student bar where Chuck Berry used to play - it's on the Loop and there's a lot of other restaurants and bars around. The Moonlight Hotel has a rooftop bar, Fitz's has great burgers and rootbeer, and there's a ton of Thai restaurants for some reason. The Handlebar is a more hipstery bar, on Manchester, I think, and there's more in the area. Someone told me once that if you can't find what you need on Manchester, it's not in St. Louis. Also, St. Louis is a beer city. Schlafly's brewery tour is great, as is the taphouse food. I haven't done Anheuser Busch's, but I've heard it's interesting. You can go to Grant's Farm, which is a little further into the suburbs, and is Ulysses Grant's former house, and is now kind of a petting zoo/exotic animal enclosure, and the Clydesdales are housed there. They also have free beer, and admission is cheap. On a nice day it can be kind of swarmed with kids, though. Other St. Louis classics: Pappy's for barbecue(call ahead) and Ted Drew's for frozen custard. The Fountain on Locust has amazing art deco decor and a great menu of old fashioned cocktails and also ice cream, plus real food. The Chocolate Bar serves cocktails and various desserts, but also has an extensive beer menu. Cherokee Street has a ton of artsy shops, including an anarchist bakery, a letterpress shop, a couple thrift stores, some coffee shops, and a few galleries. Re: hotels, I'm not really sure, but St. Louis does not have great public transit, so if you plan on utilizing it stay downtown.

Sorry, this may be more than you're looking for. I just left St. Louis, and I'm kind of nostalgic. It's really a great city, with a lot going on.

soul toast

@Gone Away Lass Do you want to exchange emails? I'm not sure the best way to do that on here.

BattyRabbit

@Mabissa Aw man I'm so glad that's on Netflix, I lurrrrve Parker Posey. I will totes watch it later.

EpWs

Also, you all would be the ones to ask this--I need Chicago brunch suggestions (possibly preferably in the Evanston area?) because my last favorite brunch place closed and I desperately need a new one.

olivebee

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Wait, did you move to Evanston?? I lived there for 4 years (college), and I miss it! Even though I babysit there twice a week, ha. My favorite Chicago brunch place is Marmalade, but Evanston has The Blind Faith Cafe....so good!

terrific

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher In Evanston: Dixie Kitchen for Cajun-slash-delicious; I always liked Bat 17 even though it veers towards stereotypical sports bar (a beer tower + their really good french toast was always a winner); M. Henry is nearby (in Andersonville maybe? that's not really that near) and I've always heard good things but have never been there; I hear Prairie Moon has a decent brunch.

But really, if you have a car or access to the Metra and want REALLY GOOD BREAKFAST FOOD but aren't keen on the drinking part of brunch like some people are, there is no better answer IN THE WORLD than the Walker Bros. on Green Bay Rd. in Wilmette.

terrific

@olivebee And yes! Blind Faith Cafe is delicious although I've never done brunch there!

liverwortlaura

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Lucky Platter on Main (eggs benedict on cornbread!) I know there's a good creperie somewhere, but don't know where.... so that's totally unhelpful, Fraiche up on Noyes.... I will continue to think!!

Cat named Virtute

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Ooh, I think someone asked about this exact thing in last week's open thread and there were a million suggestions! Lots of one word food named places like Jam and Yolk and Toast.

PistolPackinMama

@terrific DIXIE! So good. Couldn't remember that last week when someone asked, but we went there after I ran my first 5k and it was so good!

EpWs

@olivebee I didn't, but I have friends up there and I'm going to visit in a few weeks! Thanks much for the suggestions. :)
@terrific A BEER TOWER? Explain?
@Cat named Virtue I missed last week's Open Thread because I was moving, but I'll have to go hunt it down, thanks!

terrific

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher BEER TOWER: it is glorious.

Like that, but with football helmets for the base. If you are in Evanston and also like bars, go there and get one. They have good selections, too, for the towers! I think. Or at least they used to.

EpWs

@terrific OOH

billie_crusoe

MIGRAINES, guys. Shoot me. I have had one for most of the summer, but it's been killer the past few days. (Because I decided to volunteer at the amazing community farm that grows food for the food banks in town, and working in the heat is the worst for my migraines.) And I was all excited to get back on medications when insurance starts next month, but I realized it's still a pre-existing condition until 2014 because I've been uninsured for a year. (If Romney wins and repeals the health care law, I will probably just shoot myself. I cannot have migraines every day until menopause.)

liverwortlaura

@billie_crusoe NO. Migraines, go fuck yourselves. I have them all summer long too, ever since moving to Chicago, and it took me three years to figure out mine are directly related to shifts in barometric pressure, also heat and sunshine. Which medications have you used that you like? I have shied away from medications because I don't trust them? Good luck getting them - also, did you read that article a while back here (or the awl? or billfold?) about navigating health care sans insurance?

maiasaura

@billie_crusoe I have had great luck with beta blockers for migraine prevention (a low dose every day has me down from 2-3 a week to one maaybe every other month), and since they're prescribed for lots of things (anxiety, high blood pressure), maybe you could get a doctor to prescribe them "for something else" so the insurance company would cover em? Doesn't do you any good in killing a migraine you've already got, but it might cut down the frequency some. And I know some people also have good luck with some of the triphasic antidepressants for that, if beta blockers don't do anything for your particular migraines.

billie_crusoe

Thanks for the suggestions, guys!

@liverwortlaura I'm sorry you have summer-long headaches too. I want to go out and enjoy the weather, but even sitting outside when it's 90*/90% humidity pushes my luck.

@maiasaura The first thing I want is to go back on atenolol - I think it was maybe even cheaper than my $5 copay on my old insurance? So insurance doesn't even matter for it. I don't remember either amitriptyline or nortriptyline doing much for me, or Topamax either. Unfortunately, I've tried most things for prophylaxis. (Things are probably worse than usual this summer because it's the first time I've been back in a hot hot hot summer for years.) Hormones are a big part of mine, too, but I haven't had much success with OCP. Ugh.

I think trigger point therapy might actually be good, I just need someone to teach me how to do it. So, atenolol and physical therapy are first on my list. And hopefully getting my hands on some Maxalt and antiemetics. A friend suggested getting diagnosed with PMDD (which I am sure I have), so maybe I can get Maxalt covered that way.

parla

@maiasaura I also have had a lot of luck with medication not originally intended for migranes (or maybe it was? idk, it's FDA approved for migranes, epilepsy/seizures and mood stabilization, so it's all over the place, but theoretically you could get it from a neurologist, a psychiatrist, GP, pain specialist). It's topamax, and I am so so happy with what it has done for me. I was getting 2-3 migranes a week, complete with nausea, blurred vision, light sensitivity to the point that I would have to stay in bed with the shades drawn and an icepack on my face, and now I only get 1-2 medium intensity migranes a month (one right before my period and one during). The only downside is it makes combo BC less effective, but my neurologist and gyn and currently arguing about whether or not the dosage matters (I am siding with the neurologist who says that it's only at higher doses, and I am on a low dose). I also take Relpax for when I actually do get migranes and it works really well, much better than imitrex. I don't know how expensive it is without insurance, but maybe you (@billie_crusoe) could find out? My doctor gave me this card from one of the pharmaceutical reps for $10 copays (my copay for 6 pills was $40), so it seems like they maybe want to work with people on making it affordable because there's no generic. I've also had some success with reflexology, not much but it's better than nothing if you don't have insurance to get medication. Plus if you get books you can kind of teach yourself some trigger points to press on (which doesn't work as well as having someone else doing it for you, but having someone else press all up on your feet/head/hands isn't always practical).

billie_crusoe

@contrary That's amazing! What a relief for you! (That sounds sarcastic, but it is not.) Topamax didn't do anything for me, sadly. Besides the exertion migraines, which are not too hard to avoid as long as I stay inside :(, I think hormones + trigger points explain most of mine. I have a trigger point handbook, but I also have ehler's danlos, which means I just end up hurting myself in other places when I try to work on my headache trigger points, so I want someone to show me how to do it without making others worse. The EDS isn't diagnosed, though, so hopefully that's a way to get treatment, too. Bah.

Relpax is a good one; I might look into the coupon. I also like Maxalt MLT (related to Relpax and Imitrex, melts under your tongue) and Imitrex injections, because my stomach gets upset very early on and pills don't work once I get sick.

Hell, at this rate, maybe I'll be eligible for botox before long. My old doctor gave me occipital nerve blocks, and they were fabulous; I expect botox would be something like that.

parla

@billie_crusoe I get them from smells a lot too, so I'm always that person telling people to wear less Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue because seriously, you are killing me. Imitrex didn't do that much for me and the melty-ness of maxalt freaked me out, so Relpax was kind of a last ditch effort before putting needles in my face. Maybe you could look into reiki medicine to help with the trigger points? I don't really know that much about it, but there is a reiki center in the same group of offices that my chiropractor is in and that seems like the kind of thing that they do maybe.

Springtime for Voldemort

@billie_crusoe I have had really good luck with Prodrin for lower-grade migraines, though I know some people have recently been having a hard time finding them through pharmacies (but not me!). And propranelol has been awesome at both migraine management and me generally being less anxious.

billie_crusoe

@contrary I should look into reiki. YES, smells are awful, though I'm not sure if they trigger migraines for me or if I'm just super sensitive when I am already getting a migraine. Sometimes I would like to ban perfume for everyone, forever (not really, but... kind of really).

@papayalily Ooh, that's one I haven't tried! Thanks! Propranolol makes me feel awful (I think maybe it makes my blood pressure too low), but atenolol is related and does help me.

I feel like I'm a vampire lately because I just want to stay ouuuut of the light! And wear my sunglasses inside. Light makes me feel like someone is poking hot skewers through my eyeballs.

Springtime for Voldemort

@billie_crusoe yeah, the first time I tried it, it lowered my blood pressure so much that I couldn't get off the floor in the morning because I kept having hot waves of almost passing out. I had to walk 5 feet, lay down for 5 minutes. Grab the bowl out of the cabinet, lay down for five minutes. Grab the cereal box, lay down. Pour the cereal, lay down. I also got horrible, incredibly real-feeling nightmares on it. Two years and 20 pounds later, I tried it and it was great, so I guess I'm lucky. But yeah, it can totally be horrible. Glad you have atenolol! Beta blockers ftw!

All lions are fierce

AHHH YOU GUYS I'm moving to Tucson tomorrow! I'm moving for grad school, which is awesome except ohgawdArizonaJohnMcCain?! Does anybody have any advice for living in Tucson? Or bar recommendations or anything? I don't know anyone at all, and while I'm mostly just excited to get to start this new part of my life, I'm also a little nervous!

LaLoba

@All lions are fierce I am not at all from Arizona but if you are interested in exploring the desert wilderness and being in extreme boonies for fun, Arizona is bountiful in these! Incredible roads that go for ever without seeing anyone! And crazy ancient houses built into the sides of cliffs 100m from the highway! That is my experience with the north eastern corner of Arizona. It was neat!

All lions are fierce

@LaLoba Where did you go? I know I'm definitely hoping to do some camping/hiking/road tripping. The Grand Canyon State!

maiasaura

@All lions are fierce Tucson! I grew up there. The actual city of Tucson is fairly liberal, it's Phoenix and Maricopa county that swing the state so conservative, by and large, so have no fear. Sadly, the last time I lived there I was seriously underage for great bars, but check out Sabino Canyon for baby hikes (walks with wilderness), and the AZ Sonora Desert Museum for some cool desert science/animals. Raging Sage has great coffee, and the Loft has indie movies, if you're into that. Also, you must eat all the delicious Mexican food for me. NOM. I miss it.

LaLoba

@All lions are fierce I was just driving through the southwest and we cut down the northeastern corner of the state somehow to get from Utah to New Mexico. I'm looking at a map of it now and basically have no recollection of where I was driving, although I do know that it seems to be largely reservation land and then there's a petrified forest national monument and that I saw no sign of life or water for at least 200 miles at one point.

All lions are fierce

@maiasaura I solemnly swear I will eat ALL of the Mexican food! And the coffee place is just down the street from my house, a total necessity for a grad student. Thanks for all of the recommendations!

whereismyrobot

I consolidated my student loans, which was not scary at all. I feel a huge weight has been lifted and since I am on an income-based repayment plan, the payments are not crippling.

Also I work for a public institution, so if I make payments for ten years, my debt will be wiped.

billie_crusoe

@whereismyrobot Yay student-loan-weight lifting! IBR is the best. I am an IBR evangelist.

EpWs

@whereismyrobot HOW. HOW DID YOU DO IT. I CANNOT SEEM TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.

rosencrantz

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Just consolidating? When I did it this page was my savior: http://copperbadge.livejournal.com/2943831.html

Hopefully it is all still accurate.

If you're talking motivation, well, try cookies.

@whereismyrobot Yaaay, that is a huge weight lifted!

whereismyrobot

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher To be fair, my mom looked into everything. It was a pain because the site is not designed well.

If you are procrastinating, seriously, just get it over with! You will feel so much better!

Although to be fair, the hard part is done. I need to hear back from them to make sure everything was done correctly.

area@twitter

This week was long and exhausting, but ultimately pretty successful. Not sure if that job I applied for is going to work out, but it's honestly out of my hands at this point.
Today's unexpected joy- walking down the hallway at work and meeting a Golden Retriever. When petted, he immediately leaned his whole body into my coworker's leg and closed his eyes in doggy bliss. Sweet BOY. ::incoherent shrieking::

Penny Lane

@area@twitter THIS. Dog-lean is a powerful elixir.

Oliver St. John Mollusc

So I had this super awesome manfriend that I went on two mind-bogglingly awesome dates with back in the spring. Like, I am not a relationship girl but I was thinking marriage (ew! I know!). But then his work got crazy with traveling so we had to suspend things for all of May and June. We left it very open-ended and hopeful so I was really good and didn't call or text or Facebook-stalk him AT ALL during that time. In early July I sent him a super-casual "heyyy are you back??" email and got... crickets. So last week I sent him a humorously WTF email and found out he's still super busy aaaaand also met someone else. Wah wah. I got that email as I was getting off the plane to go visit my parents for a week, so I got to spend my vacation being like :..(

BUT! That was a week ago and today I got done with work early and got a free bottle of wine from my client (=wine store). I'm headed out to happy hour soon and I have at least one, possibly two OK Cupid dates this weekend! I know, online dating is weird and all. But it has been a WHILE since I've had sex, y'all. And more importantly, I need to meet some new dudes since literally all the ones in my social circle are in LTRs/are exes/both.

realtalk

@quickdrawkiddo hahaha I have FOUR okc dates this weekend so good luck! I've been having so much fun just meeting new people, even when some of them are not people I want to see again. HAVE FUN + GET LAID that is my motto and I hope it extends to you as well :)

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@realtalk Thanks!! That's the plan :) I found one of them on that "locals" section on the Android app? Where you post something like "what up y'all, I'm kicking it at X bar" or something similarly enticing. Anyway his post was "I'm only in town for four days, let's make some mistakes" so I was like "SOLD." Plus he's cute ;)

realtalk

@quickdrawkiddo he sounds like someone I would DEFINITELY like to make some mistakes with. GET IT GIRL!!

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@realtalk :) I expect updates about all four of yours on the next FOT, if not before!

realtalk

@quickdrawkiddo three of them are second dates, one of which will certainly 100% involve a lot of sex and two of which are LIKELY to involve a lot of sex, haha. I want to hear about yours next week too!!

whereismyrobot

@Gone Away Lass I got my MLS last August. I have worked in both academic and public libraries for the past nine years while in school. I have gotten a few interviews, but have not found a job yet. The area that I am looking in is a large metropolitan area. I was told when I started school that all of the current librarians will retire, making way for a younger generation. I have not found that is the case. Librarians, generally are not risk takers, and when the economy tanked, they kept their jobs or took up part-time work.
The problem that I am noticing is that employers seem to be looking for people who already have experience, even for entry-level jobs.

JadedStone

Do you live IN CANADA? Do you LIKE SEX TOYS?
Then I feel it's my obligation to tell you about pinkcherry.ca

Mind you - It's really for peeps who know what they're looking for and I KNOW I should support smaller more awesome co-op sex stores but OMG THE SALES.
THE SALES!!!!
They had a 30% off store sale the other week! 30% off!
It's crazy.

Megasus

@Jade HOLY SHIT THOSE SALES ARE BANANAS
also ewww there are 50 Shades branded sex toys? nononono

crookedlegs

@Jade I thank you. My credit card statement does not.

LaLoba

Feelings alert: I've got a cool dude friend but he works for the government in the forest and is therefore gone every other week! He'll start staying in our state next time he leaves which is nice, instead of spending two days off driving to and from. But his one foot always out the door lifestyle is sort of stressful to me, and makes me feel pretty insecure about the time we spend together. Since he's always about to leave again he has dockets of folks he's got to see and spend time with and friends all around the city to make fun with. Then I feel needy! I tried to bring it up by saying, "how are you feeling about your work style? Is it stressful for you to have all these compacted social obligations and an ever-present time limit?" But he's an earth scientist and has been living this way at different jobs for years, so he's used to it. I should probably tell him about my feelings, huh.

iheartoxytocin

@LaLoba I am also feeling needy lately because my bf is so busy. It suuuuuucks.
My guess is that Dude Friend would want you to tell him how insecure you're feeling. He may not be able to change his circumstances, but at least he'd be on notice about and sensitive to your feelings.

Scandyhoovian

Guys I'm about 125 years behind but I have only recently discovered Charles-Valentin Alkan (pianist/organist/composer) and holy shit.

Now, I'm wondering why my piano teachers all dropped the ball on me, because this sounds like a challenge that would have kept me classically training through college. BE STILL MY PIANIST HEART.

iheartoxytocin

Any advice for someone who's not yet used to having a bf with a real job (and a bf who's never had a gf while he's had a real job)? I've been in school then grad school, and now I have a bf with a big boy job that he works hard at. This means that when he gets home he's tired and doesn't want to drive the (currently) 25 minutes to see me during the week. Since I'm working an internship, I'm in a similarly tired boat. He's an independent dude with lots of friends which is simultaneously sexy and annoying because he plans stuff with his friends and then I feel all left out. Note: I've met his friends and they are nice and like me.
Also, when I ask "What are you doing tonight?" thinking that we've implied we're hanging out and he responds "I'm doing blah blah with my roommate" then I say "Oh, I thought we were hanging out?" And he says "You can come if you want," I know (because I know him) that he actually means he's inviting me, but I can't help but feel like he doesn't actually want me to be there.
To be fair, in the above situation, he misunderstood me earlier in the day and thought I intended to go to a friend's party. I think I automatically imagine us going to things as a couple and he imagines us with friends separately and then meeting up later in the evening.

BASICALLY, how do I get used to not being able to see him all the time and additionally keep myself from obsessing about how he feels when in reality I know he's really into me?

iheartoxytocin

@iheartoxytocin also my ex blindsided me with our break up, so I sometimes get nervous that the same thing will happen again.

Megasus

@iheartoxytocin Ummm well I think you should talk to him about it, like what your expectations are about how much time you spend together. Like, I could totally understand not wanting to see each other as much during the week, but maybe talking on the phone a bunch and hanging out most of the weekend. But like, you have to talk to him about it, and be like, "well, this is how much I want to see you, how much do you want to see me" type deal. Also if you work near each other you could possibly take lunch together?

iheartoxytocin

@Megano! Thanks - for a dude who is academically smart, he's not good at getting it when I try to tell him what's up. But yes, asking about expectations is a really good idea!

JadedStone

@iheartoxytocin DATE NIGHT.

My boyfriend and I have a date night every Thursday. We get sushi takeout and watch a show.
NO MATTER how busy our schedules get.
(He works full time, I work.. more than 65 hours a week.)
It's necessary to both of our sanity.

runner in the garden

@iheartoxytocin this is hard! I have run into variations on this for years. Sounds like you both need to get used to the idea of being responsible to somebody beyond yourself (which sounds judgy but I mean it in a totally neutral way! It's something I'm still working on).

Specifically, more calendaring? Maybe a shared internet calendar? Being more explicit (so you can both tell the difference between "oh that might be fun" and "we're making definite plans to do this together"). And having conversations about what's a reasonable amount of together time to expect, and committing to certain minimum habits (like Friday date night or whatever)? But in a fun way.

Danzig!

@iheartoxytocin Tell him you need time with him w/o his friends. A 25 minute commute is less than nothing.

elysian fields

You guys, I am literally a walking stereotype. I've been living with my boyfriend this summer (normally we live in different cities) and I've barely eaten any chocolate. When I live on my own, I often go through one Lindt bar per week. Now my bf is away for a two-week conference, and I've been munching on chocolate non-stop. My life has become a Cathy cartoon! I didn't even realize that I substitute chocolate for companionship until this summer. :(

adorable-eggplant

@elysian fields I think you're only cathy if you wear the fuschia blazer and say ACK! (I did a google image search of 'cathy comic' to double check the color of her suit and came across a panel that said, "Chocolate! Chocolate! Ack!" so maybe chocolate is also a factor... but not the only factor!)

KeLynn

@elysian fields I totally do this. Not just with chocolate, but with junk food in general. Like, when my boyfriend is home it's treat enough to come home at the end of the night because *he's* there and I love him and it's fun to be at home with him. But if he's out of town, it's like I try to make my being-at-home part of my life more exciting by "treating" myself.

Well also the fact that then no one can see me eating a whole bag of Milano cookies so there's no one there to judge me.

Bittersweet

@elysian fields Eat chocolate and read Posted on July 29, 2012 at 6:42 pm

VolcanoMouse

Tell me about yo' craft projects, The Hairpin!

I am making some wool skirts because I am rampantly delusional about when autumn arrives in Florida. Hooray!

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@VolcanoMouse I knit socks all summer! They're tiny so you don't have this huge blob of wooly warmth sitting on your lap while you're working. The ones I'm making now are like, neon pink, turquoise, purple and blue? I got the yarn from a yarn of the month club and would NEVER have picked it out on my own, but I'm liking how the colors pool so now I'm all psyched to wear them when it gets cold. Good question! More crafty talk plz!

realtalk

@VolcanoMouse I'm about to start knitting another lace shawl for the Knitting Olympics (cast on during the opening ceremonies, cast off by the closing ceremonies!!) and it's red cashmere (LUSCIOUS) but my hands get sooooooo sweaty while I'm knitting it

VolcanoMouse

@quickdrawkiddo Socks are so impressive! I want to learn to knit 'em but they are INTIMIDATING! I can just about knit and purl, so maybe I need to work on my decreases and increases and stuff before I tackle anything more complicated?

@realtalk I remember my sister doing the Knitting Olympics years ago! Red cashmere sounds gorrrrgeous.

JadedStone

@VolcanoMouse I DESPERATELY need to get back into my crochet. I got so lazy, it's been ages since I did anything.
And I really want to crochet socks.

.... who wants to see my amigurumi?

realtalk

@VolcanoMouse socks aren't that hard! feeling comfortable with increases and decreases is good, obviously, and then you have to pick up some stitches at some point if you're working a traditional heel. but really, you just plain knit allll of the foot and allllll of the leg! so many normal knit stitches, so few crazy things :)

WhiskeySour

@VolcanoMouse I'm cutting out lots and lots of historical watercolors of butterflies and moths and putting them in shadow boxes with teeny tiny pins. I spent the afternoon painting the pins with watered-down acrylics because I want the brass to look old.
Also, Project Project Runway.

liverwortlaura

@VolcanoMouse you can totally do socks! don't be too intimidated! soon you will be turning heels in your sleep!
Right now I am knitting a linen tank top for a dear friend's birthday (someone who will appreciate a $60+ handknit gift) and hopefully soon some baby clothes for my nephew who will be one in september.

vunder

@VolcanoMouse Socks are impressive. I am finishing a small quilt. Need to finish the binding by mid August.

ohyeahmetoo

@WhiskeySour sounds cool. where do you get your historical watercolors?

billie_crusoe

@VolcanoMouse I have an NSFW cross-stitch that's been hanging out in my drawer for 6 months. I need to get to stitchin'!

VolcanoMouse

@WhiskeySour That is so excellent! Home decor project? Amateur retro lepidoptery?

@vunder Quilting is another impressive thing! Is it for anything in particular?

siniichulok

@VolcanoMouse I'm making a reversible flat-bottomed tote out of discontinued upholstery samples, because I want to make a dress eventually but am forcing myself to start small since I just learned how to sew. Wool skirts are awesome!

WhiskeySour

@ohyeahmetoo I'd actually feel terrible using real historical watercolors, so I've been printing out scans of pages from old books from vintageprintable.com and other sources. We'll see if I can achieve my vision. The shadowboxes are being kind of finicky.

@VolcanoMouse Home decor project. I'm trying to transition to a Neo-Victorian/steampunk sort of design aesthetic. So this is me dipping my toe into that.

vunder

@VolcanoMouse it's for a friend's baby shower gift! I took a class.

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@VolcanoMouse I second everyone else's assertions that socks are not hard! I heartily recommend hitting knitty.com and picking one of their "mellow" sock patterns -- they have lots of good resources for different techniques, and anything that isn't spelled out in the pattern, they'll link to a tutorial on how to do it.

ohyeahmetoo

@WhiskeySour great resource! do you have a color laser printer? i'd love to get one of those.

WhiskeySour

@ohyeahmetoo No, although I wish I did. I just have an inkjet printer that came for free with a computer (several computers ago.)

baked bean

@billie_crusoe Oooh cross stitch! I just started to learn that last week! I did most of a gnome and most of a Mario, but need to get a couple of colors to finish them.

I also crochet, have been doing that for 7 or 8 years. I like easy quick things because I am impatient. Halfway through a scarf right now that uses this pattern: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/little-leaves-stitch-and-scarf
Super easy and cute.

I tried knitting, and I think that was harder because I can do pretty much anything with crochet, and it's not fun to suck at making something knitted when I could just not suck at making something similar crocheted. So I gave up.

Oh, also, I love craft discussions! We need more!

TheLetterL

@baked bean Same here, but reverse the crafts. Together we could rule the world...or at least Ravelry.

Currently, I am knitting for a friend's baby-to-be, and I am on a tight deadline. I'll make it, but first I need to get off the FOT.

baked bean

@TheLetterL Maybe we can trade items. Like, I want knitted socks :( And maybe you want.... a crocheted something?

Shayna

@VolcanoMouse Trying my first non-printed cross-stitch project, with limited success. It's the counting. I'm probably making it overly complicated but ugh. Keeping stitches flat and making the back of it look nice is stressful. There's a new playlist on my Spotify called "Embroidery Is Not a Stress-Free Hobby".

Xanthophyllippa

@WhiskeySour Pictures??

TheLetterL

@baked bean A trade, you say. You know, there definitely have been crochet patterns I've liked but passed over. I need to work through a project backlog, but possibly! Also, I would gladly coach you through socks, although that would work out best if you're in the Boston area. Admittedly, they're kind of fiddly, but I've coached very new knitters through them before with perfectly fine results!

baked bean

@TheLetterL No hurry, I don't need warm socks ANY time soon. Just an idea, not something we HAVE TO do.
But yeah, that knitting experiment lasted... two days... I'll have to learn to knit a scarf or something first.

Cat named Virtute

@WhiskeySour Oh my gosh, that sounds SO darling. I'm going to try it!

baked bean

@VolcanoMouse Oh, I have also started sewing recently. Today I plan to recover a cheap 70's footstool that had awful crinkly vinyl fabric with some different fabric. The legs on it are nice, so I'm excited.

WhiskeySour

@baked bean Ooh, I've always wanted to try my hand at upholstery, but I've been really intimidated by it. You'll have to let us know how it turns out!

TheLetterL

@baked bean Noooooooooooooooooooo! TheLetterL's First Rule of Learning to Knit: NEVER START WITH A SCARF. Yes, it is simple, but it is so, so, so boring and slow. If you're used to whipping through crochet projects, you will want to stab your eyes out with your needles. I recommend starting with a square and working only until you're comfortable with the basics. Use it as a potholder or dishrag if you want something practical. Next stop/first "real" project: a simple hat in worsted. I also advise sticking with worsted weight and size 6-8 needles. Chunky yarn might look quicker, but thicker needles can be less comfortable to hold.

ALSO, have you ever tried Tunisian crochet? It is what would happen if crochet and knitting had a baby. I like it a lot.

WhiskeySour

@Xanthophyllippa I finished the butterfly boxes today. I posted (very poor quality) pictures of them on my Tumblr. Butterfly boxes!

liverwortlaura

@WhiskeySour THEY LOOK AWESOME!

baked bean

@WhiskeySour The only thing I've ever done is simple stuff like the cushion on a dining chair or a footrest that has legs. Where you just kind of cover and staple. This one requires sewing to make the corners square.
Also, the butterfly boxes are awesome. Perhaps you could buy those plates and glue them on? And maybe cut off the very end of some nails and glue those in the holes, that way it looks like you nailed them.

Punk-assBookJockey

Ahh, I know I am late to this thread but HAIRPIN KNITTERS (crocheters, quilters, crafters, etc.)!!! You are my people. Do we have a ravelry group??

realtalk

@Punk-assBookJockey NO BUT I WOULD JOIN THE HELL OUT OF THAT RAVELRY GROUP

Punk-assBookJockey

@realtalk Turns out there is one! And that I joined a few months ago and forgot about it aparently! But it's pretty dead. :( Search groups for hairpin and join and we can talk!

liverwortlaura

@Punk-assBookJockey I just started a new thread, come share your current projects!!

Megasus

MY BRACES ARE OFF I HAVE LIKE JULIA ROBERTS TEETH NOW IT IS WEIRD
I am currently searching for the perfect apple to sink them into. Also I am eating all the baby carrots right now because I couldn't eat them with my braces cuz it hurt!
Also I just spent ALL DAY (like literally, I left at like, 11:30-ish and got back at 4) picking up two packages in Vaughan, BUT THE DRESS IS SOOO CUTE AND I WILL WEAR IT TO BATMAN ON MONDAY.

redheaded&crazy

@Megano! yayyy!! such a great and bizarre feeling!!!

my first reaction i think was to eat some miss vickie's potato chips. so healthy. mmmmm apple.

Megasus

@redheaded&crazie Oh I definitely got some chocolate almonds.

Oh, squiggles

@Megano! And all the smiling. I remember I did a bunch more smiling after getting mine off, and in general people around me were much more pleasant and happy. (Hmm, I feel like there is a lesson there, but I don't know what *taps on chin thoughtfully*)

Megasus

@Awesomely Nonfunctional Yes! I didn't do it much because I think ppl thought I was much younger than I am (I am 26 now) just because I had braces?
Oh also in sad news after the storm on Wednesday there was a HUGE PUDDLE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIVING ROOM, no evidence of where it came from (windows and everything near them were dry, walls were dry, no apparent leak from the ceiling) and my $200 cambridge satchel was sitting in it (she is OK thankfully), as well as my awesome Blue Sun travel posters that I hadn't put up yet because I was looking for frames, and the Serenity Valley one is totally wrecked. So I basically woke up that day, noticed I was wet, and then ran around yelling "NONONONONO!" and hyperventilating.

whereismyrobot

@Megano! Oh my, when I got my braces off, I felt like I had the biggest teeth ever!

gobblegirl

@Megano! I also recommend eating a really big sandwich or burger! You will be dazzled by how you can bite right through and not get bread piled in your teeth!

dale

Word of advice for you younger folk: keep your brain exercised, or else learn to write stuff down so you don't forget it. Exhibit A - I know I had something I wanted to say/ask here today, but figured nbd, I'd be able to remember it! And here we are, today, and I have no clue as to what it was. So. Beware of aging brains and the tendency to forget stuff.

Maybe I was just going to tell you all how splendid you are? That could be.

In lieu of whatever the original thing was, I'll just remind you to send in your pet pictures for the tumblr - email me at pinnerpets at gmail dot com and I can give you the details.

wharrgarbl

@dale Ugh. I actually wrote something down today because I needed to ask someone about it, and then I couldn't understand my own note. Brain, meet mortality. Mortality, brain. I trust you two will get along like a house on fire.

Biketastrophy

I miss the turntable.fm parties that happened previous. I just got 10k points so now I have a space monkey avatar!

Yes I'm a bit obsessed.

What do people have for music recs? Upbeat funky things usually for me, I'm obsessed over Super Fever by Mord Fustang and Lesbian Bondage Fiasco by Aniki (samples a daily show quote, not actually about the act) right now.

RocketSurgeon

Boyfriend and I decided last night over dinner (delivery tofu stir fry and wine) to get married in March. No big fancy wedding. Just each of our best friends/their sig. others as witnesses and a cocktail party for our friends here in town, and then parties with our scattered families individually whenever we see them next. We've been together for nearly 4 years, and we've discussed it before, but now we actually have an idea as to when/where/how. Woo hoo!!

liverwortlaura

@RocketSurgeon hey! this is great! love!

olivebee

@RocketSurgeon Hooray! That is awesome!! Congrats!

Xanthophyllippa

@RocketSurgeon Wooooo!

Mad as a Hatter!

Okay, as you all know (maybe not, could be talking to air), I've been seeing this dude long-distance and we just kissed. And a cute dude at work asked me out, who turned out to be super clingy reeeeeaaaal fast. I told him I can't date a coworker and now he's kind of bothering me. To make things even more confusing in my life, I messed around with my best girl friend this week and I would definitely not mind doing it again. Like, am I bi? Should I not worry about labeling myself right now and just go with the flow? Should I have a beer and just sit on my patio?

Penny Lane

@Hello sweetie Beer and patio, absolutely. (Trying to come up with advice that doesn't belong on a needlepoint pillow... Try letting it all unfold as it will? Except for the coworker part.)

realtalk

@Hello sweetie DON'T WORRY ABOUT LABELING YOURSELF. Do what you want with who you want and everything will shake out in the wash, and/or you'll know that this is a thing you want to explore more and talk about more. I've been where you are, I currently identify as queer but mostly because I hate the word bisexual, and if you want to email/gchat/flail at me, you should!! realtalk.hairpin at gmail dot com.

Definitely have a beer and sit on your patio, though. that sounds like BLISS

Mad as a Hatter!

@realtalk Thank you so much =) I might just take you up on that offer.

realtalk

@Hello sweetie you're so welcome! please do! <333

jilt

I just want to say thanks to Scandyhoovian, RK Fire, New Hoarder, smr & HeckYes for the Atlanta recommendations a couple of weeks ago. It was a fun trip, and I had tons of good food. Fox Bros was amazing as promised. The only downside was that we ate so much there at lunch (SO MUCH), that nobody had the fortitude to have dinner later. We also stopped by Sublime Doughnuts - I had the orange star one, and the "A-Town Mocha" - so good, so much sugar. In addition to the lovely Fox theater and the museum, we walked around the cemetery, because I like old graveyards.

whereismyrobot

Friday Shopping Thread. What did you buy this week?
I got this, which I can't wait to get off work and play with!
Google Nexus

olivebee

@whereismyrobot I got a giant DSW coupon in the mail ($20 off!) so I bought these shoes.

I cannot wait till fall to wear them!

whereismyrobot

@olivebee Those are very cute!

liverwortlaura

@olivebee oh yes you did. those are great!

Oliver St. John Mollusc

@whereismyrobot Wooo! I love my Google Nexus! Good choice!

camanda

@whereismyrobot I bought a Tyler Rodan crossbody bag, which I posted upthread but whatev here it is again. And I had the same coupon as @olivebee!

Faintly Macabre

@olivebee Those are ADORABLE! I wish companies made those kind of shoes in my size, waaah. But I got These in grey, and while I'm waiting for a second pair to decide which size to keep, they are soooo well-made and sooo comfortable right out of the box.

sharkburp

So, thanks to Ask a Married Dude I can now apply the term "bed death" to my situation. What makes it even worse is that we both work from home (him only occasionally) and we don't have any money to go out and I don't know anyone in this town :( It's been like this for a year and ughhhhh.

Has anyone else had this problem and found a reasonable solution??

baked bean

@sharkburp I wish I could get all of us who don't know anyone in our towns to be in the same town.

wharrgarbl

@sharkburp Find free stuff? A lot of publicly-funded places or educational attractions have free or reduced admission certain days of the week/month. Just picnicking in the park once a week can help get you guys out and relieve the tedium a little.

Is there anything you're both interested in that can help you get out and meet people in a structured environment? Like volunteering for a campaign or an organization, or joining a book club at the library?

Xanthophyllippa

@baked bean YS PLS.

Also, @sharkburp, this won't help with the bed death, but is there something you like to do outdoors that you could use to meet people? All the running stores in my town have running groups, and I met some folks that I liked enough to become hanging-out friends with just by making myself go. Even if you don't hit it off immediately, at least you'll meet someone who can maybe introduce you to other things - I met some other people showing up to a bike group one of my running acquaintances rides with.

(Also, I keep reading your username and punctuating it with oo-ha-ha, like Sharkbait in "Finding Nemo.")

Sierra Charlie

I just wanted to say that I love all you 'pinners! I discovered this site earlier this year, and even though I mostly lurk, I read it religiously. I really feel as though I've found my kind of people!

Things I have been introduced to / products I have purchased due to Hairpin message board recommendations:

- Fresh Sugar Plum lip balm (the BEST lip stuff I've ever used)
- The Diva Cup (yay for not having to buy tampons every month! Why is this such a secretive hard to find product?! I had to buy mine at REI. Is it a conspiracy by feminine product companies to keep it off of supermarket shelves?)
- Cat pheremone plug-in (the jury's still out on that one, slight improvement on my cat's stress grooming bare spots)
- Birchbox subscription (such a fun surprise every month!)
- Eating Nutella right out of the jar (why has this never occurred to me before?)

You guys rock!

liverwortlaura

@Sierra Charlie welcome welcome! even MORE secretive (and comfortable, in my experience) than Diva Cups - Sea Sponge Tampons! Amazing!

theotherginger

@liverwortlaura what are these things? And can one use them with an IUD?

parla

@Sierra Charlie not going to lie, I'm pretty much only looking forward to my upcoming birthday so I can get my free fresh mini duo from Sephora. It chaps me (haaa!) to spend so much money on not lipstick/glossystain lip products, but they are sososo gooood!

OxfordComma

@Sierra Charlie : Whole Foods or order online for the Diva Cup!

NeverOddOrEven

@robyn.andrews
They're exactly what they sound like, little sea sponges that you wet and use like a tampon but are reusable. Disinfect with hydrogen peroxide. Fine for IUD users.
Check them out at Jadeandpearl.com. Don't try to cut corners and save money by using the makeup sea sponges sold in co-op type stores. They were way more porus or something and didn't work nearly as well.
Disclaimer - cats love them as toys, so keep them safe to avoid embarrassment, and if you have a super heavy flow they're not the best.

VDRE

Tomorrow is my birthday! I'm going to adopt a cat and then go home with the cat and watch season 1 of The Mole (a birthday present) while drinking wine.

dale

@VDRE Have a most excellent birthday!
ALL OF THE YAY FOR CAT ADOPTION!

olivebee

@VDRE I didn't know I was going to help you find a cat on your birthday! I am so, so excited for you! I already told the adoption counselor who works Saturdays that you are coming. Whichever cat you take home is going to be an amazing birthday companion.

lora.bee

Noooo my friend bailed on me tonight (understandably - she is moving soon), but everyone is already busy it seems! And I am in a going-out mood!

katiemcgillicuddy

@lora.bee I think the same thing might happen to me, also for totally understandable reasons. I will be drinking and watching the Opening Ceremonies at home if she does, so, you know, feel free to do the same and reply to me on this thread!

theotherginger

@katiemcgillicuddy this is the worst. Upthread, people suggested doing things alone. Can this work? Can we feel better about it knowing that other ladies are trying to do the same thing?

katiemcgillicuddy

@robyn.andrews Ha, I think. But yes, we can totally hang out alone (sound of a million clutched pearls)! Cause, goddammit, we are pretty fucking rad, if I do say so myself. WOMEN LAUGHING ALONE HANGING OUT.

lora.bee

@katiemcgillicuddy Yes, Opening Ceremonies would be awesome! And I should really just stay home and save money anyway..but I am in A Mood, and was really looking forward to doing something on Friday night.

"First we have to set...de mood."

katiemcgillicuddy

@lora.bee I feel you on both "staying home and saving money" and being in "A Mood". Also, Little Mermaid reference?! Despite the...numerous bad messages it sends, I still have a super soft spot for it. Also, Olympics!!!!

lora.bee

@katiemcgillicuddy Percussion! Strings! Winds! Words.

I can never decide, sometimes I go "screw it, I will just go out tonight!" and then end up thinking well THAT wasn't worth all the money I spent. Or I just stay home and get grumpy. But the Olympics will help if I do! So amazing, I miss when they were here in Vancouver.

VolcanoMouse

Oh! Also! I want to see yo' blogs/Tumblrs/Pinterest accounts, guys!

I write about clothing and sewing and L.M Montgomery over here.

adorable-eggplant

@VolcanoMouse Why thanks for asking! I just started mine (last week) and it's about yoga, cookies, and my feelings about the Avatar animated series: http://sushicart.org/blog

Annnd I'm so envious of that ochre skirt and snappy belt!

VolcanoMouse

@adorable-eggplant Hooray, I wish to hear your feelings about Avatar! Only not about Legend of Korra because I am without television/haven't seen it yet and live in terror of stumbling over spoilers.

adorable-eggplant

@VolcanoMouse I do mention Legend of Korra, but I kept everything very general and don't discuss anything that might rise to the level of plot point since I figured many people haven't had a chance to watch yet. Just some gushing about my love for one of the minor characters and a few drawings. Oddly, I haven't finished Avatar yet (discovered them out of sequence) so I suppose I should be more vigilant about not bumping into spoilers myself. :)

Xanthophyllippa

@VolcanoMouse This is me. I make rude comments about other people's attempts to communicate.

Elsajeni

@VolcanoMouse I make noise and reblog superhero pictures over here.

MoonFlavor

Anyone else been drinking more than usual this summer?

I only get drunk once or maybe twice a week, but I have been having a glass or two of wine most evenings. I have a lot of alcoholism in my family so I think I am just being paranoid, but I worry about it sometimes.

theotherginger

@MoonFlavor um, a super good family friend/friend's dad was an alcoholic until he passed away. So, I'm paranoid. But, I am also not sure that the government's definition of alcoholism is entirely accurate. At the same time, no one wants to get on the justification-narrative train. Not that you are! Just, wanted to point out how this is difficult, and share a bit of my experience with you.

wee_ramekin

@MoonFlavor This sort of thing happens to my mom in fits and starts. She's not an alcoholic, but she does keep up a pretty high level of cognizance about her drinking. When she gets stressed, she has noticed that she'll start to move into the "one to two glasses of wine a night" territory. I think she links that to her emotional state, and because she doesn't want to be driven into drinking because of her emotions, when she finds herself doing that, she cuts drinking out of her life for a bit until things settle down. If it will make you feel better, you might try something like that.

Myrtle

@MoonFlavor People who are "friends of Bill" will tell you it's what happens WHEN you drink thats important.

sophi

I realized this week that I kind of want to start dating again, except I don't really want to have to DATE anyone, I just want to meet some cute awesome dudes who I can hang out with and who will tell me I'm pretty and flirt with me and then I can make my ex-boyfriend jealous. That might not be the healthiest thing.

adorable-eggplant

@sophi Perhaps try to find some awesome dudes who want to be told they're pretty and be flirted with? Serva me servabo te, as they say. :)

realtalk

@sophi THIS IS MY LIFE, all I do is go out on first dates and boys tell me I'm pretty and buy me drinks. and then sometimes I go out on second dates and they tell me that I'm a great kisser and it's charming. BASICALLY JOIN OKCUPID IS WHAT I'M SAYING

Onymous

I got a job!
I mean it's a shitty part time job at Target but it'll cover rent and I won't end up on living on the streets of Austin.

katiemcgillicuddy

@Onymous But the streets of Austin seem so colorful! No, but seriously, thats great!

isitisabel

I have been waiting for this ALL WEEK because in the past week and a half or so, I've changed my entire plan for my future. And it's exciting and a little scary, but mostly I feel really good about my decision and I need to organize my feelings before I talk to my parents/other important people, and what better place than Friday Open Thread?

About a year ago, maybe year and a half at this point, I decided I wanted to go to grad school for violin performance. It was my decision, and I didn’t feel forced into it, but it was also the kind of decision where I had no idea what else I would do, so it felt a little inevitable and out of my control. Fast forward to this past spring. I’m a junior in college, and I really need to start getting my shit together re: grad school; who I want to study with, where I want to go, what I want to do in grad school and after grad school. And I can’t think about it for more than five minutes without dissolving into a puddle of anxiety and self-doubt. I never had a full-on anxiety attack, but I think I came pretty close a couple times. Then, in the early part of this summer, it starts affecting my practice time, to the point where I have been finding it extremely hard to practice without getting caught up in thinking about all this, and wondering if I’m actually good enough, etc.

And then a few weeks ago, my mom sent me a link to the UW Milwaukee website, where they have a dual degree program (an MLIS and an MM in music history) that trains you to be a music librarian. I had previously thought about the possibility briefly, but never more than a passing “oh, that might be nice.” But the more I looked into the UWM program, the more it felt right for me. So I did some more research, and I found a few other similar programs. I’ve done a lot of thinking, and I talked to some people at my summer job (a music festival) and I’ve come to the conclusion that this is what I want to do. I want to be a music librarian.

I feel so much less anxious about my future now, and, most importantly, this decision does not feel like a cop-out at all, which was something I was a little worried about. I feel like my future is exponentially more solid. I am so happy and excited, which is good, because hopefully it will

ohyeahmetoo

@isitisabel Awesome! Congratulations on figuring something out and music librarian sounds like one of the coolest things ever.

Lurkasaurus

@isitisabel Congratulations! Making decisions about your future is a really big deal, and it sounds like you're thinking and feeling all the right things!

Xanthophyllippa

@isitisabel YAY! Partly because you'll be in my neck of the woods (...sort of) and partly because music librarians ROCK. I did part of my undergrad thesis research in a really amazing music library and loved every second of it.

Jenn@twitter

@isitisabel applying to graduate school was one of the scariest and yet most rewarding things I ever did. I'm glad you figured it out, and good luck! :D

isitisabel

@Jenn@twitter Thank you, all of you. I never imagined that the prospect of grad school could be this exciting--which, now that I think of it, was probably a good sign that my previous plans weren't right for me.

@Xanthophyllippa I never imagined I'd move back to the Midwest, let alone Wisconsin (sorry, native Minnesotan here), but if I end up there I'm glad to know there will be fellow 'Pinners!

Bittersweet

@isitisabel Good for you! My husband actually made a similar decision lo these many years ago, in the middle of his master's in violin performance. He was already teaching as part of his GA'ship, and then got his teaching certificate and has been a public school music director for 14 years. It works really well for our family, and he still plays quite a bit - for charity, duets with our daughter, the occasional paying gig. Good luck with grad school, I'm sure you'll be an awesome music librarian.

Lurkasaurus

My easily-discouraged, start-and-stop job search is going better than it has any right to be. I have an interview for a research position with the VA (which they called to schedule 2 days after sending me an email saying I didn't meet the minimum requirements, whaaat) next week! Ok, I know this topic comes up kind of a lot, but I have had 1 legitimate job interview in my entire life and they scare the SHIT out of me. I have a terrible time "thinking on my feet" and coming up with articulate, relevant answers to questions. I'm totally convinced I'm going to bomb no matter how much preparation I try to do - and the bf is basically useless preparation-wise, since apparently all they do in engineering interviews is put you in front of a whiteboard and give you problems to solve. (Actually, he might be worse than useless, because he's been just the teensiest bit dismissive of how scared I am of regular-type interviews..."I'd LOVE to just sit there and make up answers to bullshit questions" etc.) Any tips, advice, or just kind words are GREATLY appreciated.

Girl Named Jack

@Lurkasaurus You will do awesome! And don't let your bf dismiss how hard it is to do a traditional interview. If he's never done it, who is he to talk, eh? To me, being able to just demonstrate technical ability is WAY easier than chit-chatting with a stranger.

I have had good luck with interviews by practicing what I would say to any common interview questions. Out loud. I used to do this in the car because, uh, it's private? And magically I believed no one could see me talking to myself? I guess you could stick a bluetooth in your ear?

ANYWAY It gets me thinking about the job, myself, etc. etc. and made me more comfortable when the time came, since my brain was primed and ready. Or, maybe I just like talking to myself? That is entirely possible. I do it a lot.

Good luck! Knock their socks off!

lalaland

@Lurkasaurus 1. That is kind of rude of your bf to say! Way to perpetuate the stereotype of anti-social engineers :) ...I am in finance and we have technical questions in our interviews, but I think fit is very important too.

Don't be nervous! I try to think of my interviews as more of a conversation, or dating - you want the other person to like you, but you also want to make sure you like the other person! Just be comfortable and conversational, like you're talking to a friend who just happens to be asking you random questions about your greatest weakness. And yes, totally talk to yourself! I love talking to myself.

Xanthophyllippa

@Lurkasaurus psssst your bf is lying about engineering interviews. :)

PistolPackinMama

@Lurkasaurus Why do I feel like you BF is a) making shit up b) needing a whack across the knees with a baseball bat. Seriously?

It's OK to be nervous. Nerves are stress energy. Just... remember to balance those with BAMF energy.

baked bean

So, my manfriend and I live 1.5 hours apart, and only see each other on (most) weekends. Problem is, we still get bored and run out of things to do together. We just end up sitting around bored, and then that makes us grumpy. It's like, once planned activity is over, or if there are no planned activities, we run out of things to talk about and just sit on the couch. Which makes me wonder if it's too much time together? But then, we're planning on maybe living together next year, and how will that even work if we spend too much time together now when it's only 1.5 days a week?

We go out to eat and stuff, get drinks, and go for walks, but it's so goddamn hot in the midwest this summer that we haven't been doing outside things like normal. Neither of us are big tv/movie watchers.

So yeah, what do couples even do? I don't even know very many young couples. I suppose if we knew more, we could go on double dates or have them over, but we don't, all of our friends are single right now.

I'm thinking, we just work on our individual hobbies in the same vicinity? We're both used to entertaining ourselves, not other people.
Also, he's usually tired from his labor-intensive work so, that doesn't help.

Weasley

@baked bean

I don't mean to be a downer but that doesn't sound good at all. Like, maybe you should rethink living together. The only experience I have is my own and I know that not all good relationships are the same but my boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year and there is no end to how we make each other laugh. I find him so entertaining just being himself.

I also wouldn't not include your single friends from your activities. It doesn't have to be a third wheel scenario. We used to invite a friend of ours over several times a week and it was always a blast with three of us. Other than that - we, uh, wrestle a lot, talk, talk in funny voices, etc...

baked bean

@Weasley Yeah, idk. Like we have so much fun when we have things to do, and have tickle fights and giggly times, but yeah, we still get bored a lot.
I sometimes wonder if we are too much alike. Like, we are both kind of boring/independent people. We have a lot of the same interests and everything, but also a lot of disinterests.
We've discussed this, and he seems to think that it'll get better if we live together/near each other, because we can just go about our own business like we do when we're apart, and instead of being kind of required to spend that whole weekend right next to each other, we'd just spend the parts of the day when we felt like talking/being social together.
My parents just sit around and watch tv of evenings. Every evening. For as long as I can remember. This is my biggest observance of what couples do at home together.

OxfordComma

@baked bean : Boredom isn't a very good sign. ...Someone once said that a true mark of friendship is when two people can sit in silence together without feeling the need to start a conversation, and without feeling bored.

...I mean, are you bored if you're just hanging out with your other friends?

billie_crusoe

@baked bean Maybe there's just too much pressure to interact because you don't live near each other, so every minute of together-time needs to be great. I don't know, I get bored easily and am also a major introvert so it doesn't seem like a big relationship-ending deal, but maybe living near each other but not together for a while, to see if that's the case?

baked bean

@OxfordComma I don't know :( I live with my bff, and it's like that with her, but we have also been together 17 years. We don't need to always talk, we can surf the internet or work on things separately for 2 hours without saying anything and then say something and go back to surfing. I try to make social situations happen with less close friends at my house and they always end up boring so I stopped.

@billie_crusoe Yeah, I think that's the plan I've decided. To live in the same town for a bit before we actually move in together. But you're probably right, I think a lot of it is the pressure. Like, THIS IS OUR ONLY TIME TOGETHER WE MUST SPEND IT TOGETHER AND WE MUST DO SOMETHING.

Also, boredom for me has put me in depression in the past. Like, I get bored a lot. I don't understand how other people don't get bored?

baked bean

@baked bean Btw, sorry for everything sounding sad and annoying. I'm super bored for the second half of today and have been boredom eating all afternoon, with no plans this evening other than to do more boring internet surfing.

billie_crusoe

@baked bean I remember the "THIS IS OUR ONLY TIME TOGETHER WE MUST SPEND IT TOGETHER AND WE MUST DO SOMETHING" part of being in a LDR.

Boredom and depression feel A LOT alike to me. When I start feeling bored a lot, I know I'm getting depressed and start freaking out.

baked bean

@billie_crusoe Dude, same with me. Boredom sucks. I have to really work at not being bored. Glad to know I'm not the only one.

Anyway, thanks, 'pinners = awesome.

lorenzo

@billie_crusoe I totally had that "THIS IS OUR ONLY TIME TOGETHER WE MUST SPEND IT TOGETHER AND WE MUST DO SOMETHING" feeling in the first year of my relationship. I would get really angry when I would go over to spend time with my BF (now husband) and he would play on the computer for 3 hours. HOWEVER, we communicated about it and realized that both of us just need down time after stressful weeks. We enjoy doing our own thing in the same room if we need that time. Also, when one of us is antsy and suggests something to do, most of the time we'll do it together and be fine with it. I've realized that we don't have to do something together ALL the time. Now that we're married and around each other a lot, that pressure to always DO SOMETHING together is not there, and we're much more comfortable just being around each other and having lazy weekends together. Keep talking about it and readjusting and work out what works best for both of you. We still have to do this depending on what our weeks look like/life throws at us :)

New Hoarder

Sitting on a Megabus to Philly to see two of my very favorite people AND to see my favorite band of all time, Sigur Rós, on Sunday! WAHOO!!!!!

Faintly Macabre

@New Hoarder My friend and I are ushering that concert! The people who run the venue are kind of freaked out because it's the first time ever they're using that stage and setup. Apparently Sigor Ros really hates chairs?

New Hoarder

@Faintly Macabre Ahhh, is there some secret Hairpin handshake we can do to recognize each other?? Yeah, I have been trying to do my research on Skyline Stage and it's also freaking *me* out that this is the first concert there! It's not a stadium, it's not lawn seating, it's not assigned seating, it's outdoors, WHAT IS IT!

They're Icelandic, man, they probably only like animal skin rugs for chairs. (Blankets are allowed?)

Faintly Macabre

@New Hoarder The only thing I can think of is that they're sticking a stage on the paved area waaaaaaaay in the back, which usually has non-permanent concession stands. And then the lawn seating would be all the seating, except everyone will be facing backwards. Don't be surprised if you get conflicting directions from ushers, staff, etc, because I don't think even my supervisors will know what's going on.

One teenage usher said she wanted to usher this concert because "There are no seats! All I have to do is say, 'The bathroom's that way.'"

There will only be about 10 ushers, so I should be pretty easy to spot. I'll be the tall girl with short curly hair who's either inappropriately hitting or laughing with a shorter girl with black hair. Or I can just do the hairpin hair motion continuously...

New Hoarder

@Faintly Macabre Oooh I'll keep an eye out for you! I'll be in a white runic with blue and red and yellow splotches on it, and jeans which I may or may not remove depending on how hot I am. I have dark sweaty hair and a multi-colored seatbelt bag. I'm glad to know a 'Pinner will be trying to control the chaos! ;-)

New Hoarder

@Faintly Macabre Oooh I'll keep an eye out for you! I'll be in a white runic with blue and red and yellow splotches on it, and jeans which I may or may not remove depending on how hot I am. I have dark sweaty hair and a multi-colored seatbelt bag. I'm glad to know a 'Pinner will be trying to control the chaos! ;-)

Kulojam

@klemay uuuuuugh, empathy. i'm in a similar situation and i just hate it. I try to chalk it up to this kid being so very young (but so very cute *sigh*) and to not let it get to me, but there i am close-reading facebook posts. that is not why i got a degree in english! Hang in there and as a wise woman told me last week, "he does not get to be in charge of your happiness, so don't give him that power." easier said than done, but good advice nonetheless.

JadedStone

Oh. Did anybody get through the reddit thread about the rapists? The one they were talking about on Jezebel??

It's horrifying and tough... But...
I'm reading through it and what's striking me is the dudes commenting back, sharing info on how they stepped in to prevent an assault, about how these rapists justifications are wrong. It's strangely.. Touching.

WhiskeySour

@Jade I read it last night. (Bad idea.) I felt like I was going to throw up. I didn't feel particularly good about it at all. Lots of victim-blaming, unsurprisingly.

I kept looking to see if the guy who assaulted me posted on there. He's probably an avid Redditor. I don't know why I bothered to think he would, though; he probably wouldn't even consider what happened rape.

Tam
Tam

@Jade I read a bit today (found it through shakesville) and couldn't get pass a couple of posts. It made me nauseous and shaky. It is really really awful.

JadedStone

@WhiskeySour It is awful. And if we found your assaultor I would stab him with 1000 knives of fire.

But this.. It gives me something to point to and say: see? This is rape. Doesn't matter what we wear, what we drink. We can't 'take measures to protect ourselves'.

Things like this and 'project unbreakable' are providing a crack in rape culture. I can't help but feel we're getting through.

I used to assist with an assault helpline that went into schools for education. I was shocked when the facilitator explained to me we were there for the potential rapists. That the while point of what we were doing was to educate THEM, these potentials, and make them understand what they might do was wrong.

OxfordComma

@Jade : I had a wonderful moment last night--a man was harassing me on the street, but instead of ignoring it, I turned, looked him in the eye and said, "That is harassment. Knock it off."

He shut up.

And I had a victory dance when I got to my car. :)

We just have to keep fighting against it--it sucks, but fight on.

Xanthophyllippa

@OxfordComma BOOYAH! You go.

whateverlolawants

@Jade I could never read that. The amount of stuff like that I run into that isn't explicitly about that is bad enough. I am glad, though, that at least a few men are speaking up and preventing rape. I hope they recruit more from their ranks.

Kulojam

What a fantastic week! I just got back from Italy, where I got to watch my best friend marry the love of her life in the most perfect ceremony I've been to yet. I stayed a week in a villa with the rest of the guests, and everyone got along and had fun and drank and talked and played. Oh, it was just a perfect trip and seeing two people so perfect for each other get married is just unbelievably heartwarming and life affirming. And then! my flight back to Chile got cancelled so I got rerouted through my true love, NYC, AND got upgraded to first class.

And I got a promotion today! Things with the umfriend are not looking good, but I am trying to not let that affect the life high i'm on right now.

Is it bad that having so many good things happen makes me afraid something bad is coming down the pipe? I'm usually pretty optimistic, but I don't usually get this much good stuff in such a short period of time.

alpacasloth

@Kulojam That wedding sounds amazing. I'm the same way re: good things happening means something bad is coming. Sometimes life is just great, you know? Bask in it.

whateverlolawants

@Kulojam Bask in it! No reason it won't continue, either. Sounds great (including the re-route through NYC and first-class... that's my kind of thing. Also awesome weddings.)

 
New Hoarder

@Kulojam Just enjoy it, dude! All of that sounds well-deserved!

Tam
Tam

I’ve gone out with this guy around 6 or seven times since the beginning of June. We have a great time, he’s fun to be with and he seems into me, but the thing is he doesn’t attempt anything at all (anything, not even a kiss). I tried to kiss him the second time we went out and he pulled back (I think he thought I was drunk) so I haven’t tried anything since. I know he’s a bit conservative (we’re Mexican, so that might explain a bit), but come on, this is getting ridiculous, we’re both in our mid – 20s. So… I don’t know what to do? Do I assume he’s not into me and he thinks we’re going out as friends (when we go out he holds my hand and we cuddle)? Or what? I would really like some insight from the pinners!
ETA: He's a coworker, so maybe that makes him cautious?

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@Tam: I'd end it if only because he's a coworker.

PistolPackinMama

@Tam @TMI has a point. If he is a co-worker, and that could be a problem, just don't.

If it isn't, just ask. Seriously. "I can't tell if you want to date me or not from your behavior. If you aren't interested in dating I still want to be your friend, but please stop cuddling me. If you do want to date me, is there a reason you don't want to kiss?"

Mixed signals blow.

Plexia

Oh My God I am having the WORST DAY and am about to compound it by becoming one of those people who vents on open threads with no particular aim...

I got yelled at by my boss after a very stressful day of hard, hard work and then fell into a fuck up spiral so massive I'll have to work most of the weekend to compensate. I went to go drown my sorrows at an Olympic Opening Ceremony party (Yay London!) only to find that my bank and Oyster card had been stolen!

Worst of worst, I found out while standing at the gates at the world's most PACKED tube and so go yelled at by everyone backed up behind me (*You need a ticket! READ THE SIGNS! YOURE HOLDING EVERYONE UP IDIOT FACE!!*).

I had to go home and watch the ceremony at home alllll alone. But I thought, Hey! I'll crack a beer and lie on the sofa in my jammies! When my Telly broke. Of course! Can't watch it in a pub because NO MONEY. So I wandered down to Trafalga square to see if there was anything happening, but nothing! All my friends are in difficult to reach placses, so I just wandered home and watched it on my iPhone (miraculously saved! Small mercies).

Then I realised that my passport was also missing and I can't collect my replacement bank card without it, and since I don't drive I don't have a licence or any other photo id. So what will become of my bank card? Will I be penniless forever? Will I have to start bartering wit and sexual favours for food?!

Sigh. It feels like everyone in London was invited to a party and I CAN'T GO.

Poor me, poor me, poor me.

On the other hand I pretty much have South London to myself. I could maybe take over and start a colony where no one yells at anyone ever and everyone has parties within walking distance of my house. Who's in?

OxfordComma

@Plexia : BOOOOOO!!!!

Oh, lady, I hope your evening gets better!

billie_crusoe

@Plexia Awwww :( I hope you still have beer, because it sounds like you need one after today.

whateverlolawants

@Plexia That sounds like my bad dreams! Poor girl!

buckachu

Oh no, I am so late!!! But me and my sis are going to be in Chicago for Lollapalooza all next weekend and I have never been before and I need to know where the fun places are!! I know there's a ton of Chicago 'pinners, can you all unite and tell me how to have fun in your lovely city??

whateverlolawants

@buckachu I know it's late, but Google groups! Check out the Hairpin Meetups group (link at the top of the page, I think). I live 3 hours from Chicago and have been several times, but never with natives, so my exposure is very touristy. Nevertheless, I like Millennium Park and the park right below it, Grant Park, where Obama gave his November 4th speech. I like the museums. I like visiting the stores and restaurants and the shoreline. There's the Sears Tower (Willis Tower now) that has this freaky glass floor bump-out where you can stand... ugh... and about 10 years ago, I thought Wrigleyville was fun, although maybe it's fratty? Uno's Pizza is fun too. Have fun!

Porn Peddler

I am so happy to be working full time again but I miss you guys.

Sexy questions! GO!

parla

@Porn Peddler I want to buy a new toy! Something with gspot and clit stimulation that packs a pretty good punch without having to be plugged into the wall. Ideally under $100, but if you have a super great recommendation that is a little more than that, I'm all ears.

katiemcgillicuddy

@contrary Not having to be plugged in, yes to this.

billie_crusoe

@katiemcgillicuddy I need a vibe with batteries that actually has some power. I have a Fun Factory G-Swirl, and it is WEAK. Or maybe I just like my clit to be manhandled. Should I just give up and go with a Hitachi? I'm also poor, so the really nice ones are out of my budget.

katiemcgillicuddy

@billie_crusoe I have a Hitachi. I have zeeeero complaints, but if I could swing it I'd get something from Lelo. But yeah, you can't go wrong with the Magic Wand.

parla

@billie_crusoe <3 you hitachi, I just hatehatehate having to plug it in (but then, that is where all the power comes from, I have yet to find a battery powered vibe that could rival the Hitachi). Plus it's kind of ugly, but whatever, that's kind of a dumb caveat.