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Friday, July 20, 2012

1044

Friday Open Thread

Did you meet anyone interesting this week? Were you the interesting person anyone met?

Photo by Kostiantyn Ablazov, via Shutterstock

1044 Comments / Post A Comment

darklingplain

Well I know what I'm making for dinner tonight!

miss buenos aires

Interesting thing I did this week: I went to see The Clock at Lincoln Center! So hypnotic and compelling. If you are in NYC, I highly recommend stopping by. Also, it's free, which is always a good thing.

Has anyone else seen it? What did you think?

thebestjasmine

@miss buenos aires Ahhh, I've been wanting and wanting to see that but it hasn't come near me yet.

muffalutta

@miss buenos aires I'm going in a couple hours!

Interrobanged

@miss buenos aires I saw it Ottawa at the National Gallery! Seriously, it is so hypnotizing, and I could feel myself getting tense each time it switched hours. Super cool.

olivebee

I had a Hairpin dream last night....actually it was a nightmare that I had to spend a lot of time convincing myself wasn't real when I woke up this morning.

Here is what happened:

One of my close friends was apparently addicted to heroin (not in real life) and in a downward spiral, so I went to her house to try and talk to her about what in her life is bothering her, and we ended up hooking up (I'm straight, and married, by the way...and I was in this dream, too). So then she wrote a "The Best Time I..." about it, and the Hairpin published it, but she used my REAL NAME. So then she published the link to the post on her facebook page and tagged me in it. So pretty soon, EVERYONE I KNOW was reading the story about what happened in very explicit detail. Including my very conservative parents-in-law, my 15-year-old brother-in-law, MY HUSBAND, my relatives, everyone. And if you Googled my name, it was the first thing that came up. So any and all current/future employers could read it.

I was so fucking panicked about it ruining my entire life, but when I went to try and email Edith, I couldn't find any contact info on the Hairpin. So I tracked Edith down on Facebook and sent her like 9837465 messages telling her to remove the story. But she said it wasn't my story so it couldn't be removed. So then I told her to change my name in the story. Which she did, but it was too late. Pretty soon the comments section was filled with people I know calling me a disgusting person.

Then I woke up, horrified, and repeated "it was just a dream" about 10 times. But my husband has been out of town all week, so I couldn't even roll over to face him and whimper about how awful I felt for dream-cheating on him. DREAMS. They are (usually) the worst.

Side note: perhaps I spend too much time on this website if it is quite literally taking over my slumber.

redheaded&crazy

@olivebee well if it makes you feel better at all, your story made me laugh a lot!

frigwiggin

@olivebee Hahaha hoooooooly shit! I had an awful zombie dream earlier this week, but I guess I should be grateful that it wasn't zombie Pinners coming after me.

area@twitter

@olivebee Oh my god, aggghhh! I'm sorry, that sounds excruciating. I hate the public humiliation dreams.
Can I share a surreal dream I had this week? I dreamed that Tom Hiddleston was my doctor and was attempting to remove a lump under my wrist/forearm that kept moving around under my skin. When he finally got it out, he very matter of fact-ly kissed the wound (which immediately sealed shut), said, "You'll be fine", and disappeared.
whaaaaaaaaaaa

atipofthehat

@olivebee

Dream Edith is often unhelpful.

wharrgarbl

@frigwiggin I had a dream in which my husband and I were walking down the highway after a breakdown, and wheels kept coming off of cars and flying right at our heads, and because we were in the middle of a screaming match about whose fault the breakdown was, neither of us would admit that maybe we should head for cover until this stopped happening. And then he half-way woke me up, and I started sleep-yelling at him about copyright law.

But no 'pinners, and no "everyone you know suddenly hates you" life-ruiners, so I guess it could have been worse. I hope the rest of your dreams have been a lot better!

Bittersweet

@olivebee et al: Do people really feel awful about dream-cheating on their partners? My husband and I tell each other the random people we sleep with in our dreams, and laugh and laugh.

Cue the Cheap Trick song...

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

Dreeeeeeeam Edith, I believe you can get me through the night
Dreeeeeeeam Edith, I believe we can reach the morning light

HeyThatsMyBike

@Bittersweet I had a tryst with Ryan Gosling in my dream last night, but I told him we couldn't go "all the way" because then it would be cheating (this is SO not my attitude toward cheating in real life!). Except none of the actual hooking up was in my dream - just before and after.

queenieliz

@wharrgarbl Ugh. That sounds like an anxiety dream. I had on of those recently when
I was having mechanivle problems (with my motorcycle) in the dream I kept wandering around and trying to find where I'd left it then trying to push it home and my shoes would disappear, or one time I had been wearing my favorite heels and I wore through the sole! It just kept repeating...until I woke up an worried about it for two hours before I could get back to sleep...:(

EpWs

@HeyThatsMyBike Guh, don't you hate those dreams? The sexy dreams with NO SEX. COME ON, SUBCONSCIOUS.

whizz_dumb

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher WHERE'S THE SEX???

churlishgreen

@queenieliz All my life, I have had recurrent dreams in which I lose one or both of my shoes.....???!!!

HeyThatsMyBike

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I know! Even my subconscious is prude and censored!

tandemkas

@olivebee throughout my adolescent life I had recurring dreams that I'd lost my left eyebrow. It was STRESSful.

megancress

@tandemkas My friend actually lost her left eyebrow IRL when we were in our teens. We used to joke that it just fell off, but actually it was a curling iron that somehow did it without burning her skin. Be careful with curling irons you guys! Dream ones and actual ones!

rosaline

Where has Ask A Lady gooooooooone?

mabellegueule

@rosaline I think this week was Ask a Sane Person instead.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

Guuuyyysss, I am having a really good week!

1 - My interview went really well! I got a call about a second interview THE NEXT DAY!

2 - Got my teeth cleaned today for the first time in three years! No cavities, and despite the fact that I haven't used a retainer since high school, my adolescent orthodonty work is apparently holding up well.

3 - TWO DIFFERENT DC friends want to make plans to come visit me! Two visits from friends, yayyyyy! (Also now I have real motivation to clean.)

4 - I am finally around for the FOT!

olivebee

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Woohoo! Congrats on the job interview success....let us know if you get the job!

thebestjasmine

I can't tear myself away from reading/watching about the Colorado shooting. Even though the last thing that I ever want to see is the cell phone video from the theater which CNN keeps playing.

WhiskeySour

@thebestjasmine
Me neither. I'm sticking to internet coverage because I really don't want to see the videos or hear the 911 call. That's more than I can handle.

olivebee

@thebestjasmine This happens to me every time there is news like that. I feel like I don't stop reading till I have seen every article Google spits up. I don't know if I am a glutton for punishment or what. But tragedies just haunt my brain, and instead of pushing the thoughts aside, I immerse myself in them.

Lustful Cockmonster

@thebestjasmine Yep, I am actually glad I am at work at this particular moment because if not I would not have left the front of my tv screen since this morning. I get so emotionally involved when these things happen. Doesn't help that my littlest sister is living in Denver right now, and while I know rationally these things can and will happen anywhere, I WANT HER HOME RIGHT NOW.

sarah girl

@WhiskeySour I really, honestly believe it should be illegal for 911 to release phone recordings to the public. The only exception should be for court cases.

WhiskeySour

@Sarah H. I agree. I just don't see the appeal of hearing someone in the midst of genuine terror. It doesn't add any information to the story; it's just gross sensationalism.

OhMyGoshYouGuys

@thebestjasmine I can't stop checking for updates on my computer/phone here at work. On Wednesday of this week I volunteered to take part in a full-scale emergency exercise at my work for a simulated campus shooting that took place in a classroom auditorium. It's almost too much to process.

katiemcgillicuddy

@WhiskeySour I've stuck to the internet, too. The only problem is WHY DO I READ COMMENTS ANYWHERE BUT HERE. Seriously, people can be so, so terrible.

purefog

@WhiskeySour There's a villain in the Carl Hiaasen novel Basket Case who gets off on cassette tapes (it's an older book) of compiled 911 calls of people in terror and in extremis that he plays over and over again. Creepazoid.

TARDIStime

@WhiskeySour Also, there will probably be anniversary coverage every year and the people who were there will have to watch all the media coverage every year and hear those phone calls played on the news and re-live all of it when they just want to MOVE ON. Bad for their mental health. I'm sure all that Sept 11 footage replaying every year does NOT help those who lost loved ones in the Twin Towers, either.

OhShesArtsy

I HAD A PHONE INTERVIEW TODAY!!!!! YAY ME!!!

oh well never mind

@OhShesArtsy
How'd it go?

OhShesArtsy

@moosette Ok, I think? Phone interviews are always kind of hard for me to guess. I sent the follow up thank you note and the head person on the committee I spoke to (yeah... committee interview on speaker phone....) said she would be calling me back next week for either an in person interview or a rejection. So at least I won't be left hanging?

oh well never mind

@OhShesArtsy Oh ok, that sounds promising and like you shouldn't have to do too much of the running. Commitee speakerphone interview though! Didn't you just talk all over each other?

Dancercise

Anyone have suggestions for interesting/funny/unique podcasts? I downloaded a recommended one on a whim and discovered that I enjoy them on my (hour long round-trip) commute. But I have no idea how to find others!

TheUnchosenOne

@Dancercise Yes! I am a big fan of My Brother, My Brother, and Me, an advice comedy podcast. If you like TV I would also recommend Satellite Dish, by one of the hosts of MBMBaM and his wife.

PennyH

@Dancercise Good question! My favourites are:
The Infinite Monkey Cage
The Morning After Podcast
TED talks

PistolPackinMama

@Dancercise

A HISTORY OF THE WORLD IN 100 OBJECTS!
SHAKESPEARE'S RESTLESS WORLD!

olivebee

@Dancercise I really like Professor Blastoff, You Made It Weird, Who Charted?, and Best of the Left.

the roughest toughest frail

@Dancercise NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour! (I can't listen to this in public, since I inevitably start laughing out loud like a crazy person.)
You can't go wrong with Radiolab or Snap Judgement, either.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Dancercise Throwing Shade! Their tagline: Homosensual Bryan Safi and Feminasty Erin Gibson address issues affecting ladies and gays... with much less respect than they deserve.

Judith Slutler

@Dancercise I really like Julie Klausner's thingy, whatever the heck the name of it is

many things do not fly

@Dancercise The Tobolowsky Files! I could listen to Stephen Tobolowsky (always Ned Ryerson, in my mind) talk about his life all day long. For real.

Decca

@Dancercise Julie Klausner's How Was Your Week! I regularly make a fool of myself laughing at it on public transport.

like a rabid squirrel

@Dancercise Slate's Lexicon Valley if you're into language at all... super nerdy but I get completely engrossed with every episode. :) Also the old standbys: Radiolab, The Moth, This American Life.

mackymoo

@Dancercise Roderick on the Line with Merlin Mann and John Roderick. Just two guys chatting but their personalities are so great. I never binge on media like I have with this.

area@twitter

@Dancercise The Bugle: Audio Newspaper For A Visual World! John Oliver (of Daily Show fame) and Andy Saltzman riff on the news and go on pun runs for 35 to 40 minutes each week. I've been listening since...jeez, 2007? Wow.

ach_so

@Dancercise NPR's Ask Me Another! It's a trivia show. I heart it.

klemay

@Dancercise Sex Nerd Sandra! They cover a different sex/sexuality related topic every week, and it's really cute/funny/informative!

Also, @PennyH I love The Morning After. I feel like I know way more about the adult film industry than I ever needed to know.

OhMarie

@Dancercise If you like The Comedy, I recommend the Maximum Fun network of podcasts (home of My Brother, My Brother and Me and Throwing Shade, mentioned above) and the Earwolf Network (home of Who Charted?, also mentioned above). They've both got great stuff, and it's a good way to figure out what you like. Once you know, you can find more!

whereismyrobot

@Dancercise Another MBMBAM fan here.
I also love Julie Klausner's show.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@rosielo Also: Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, and Whad'ya Know, for all your news trivia needs.

ayo nicole

@Dancercise Uhh Yeah Dude!

Alli525

@Dancercise My friend runs Binary Opposition, which is really nerdy but overall pretty fun and absorbing.

twocats

@Dancercise Too Beautiful to Live (TBTL) - it's a daily podcast out of Seattle that I love.

okaycrochet

@many things do not fly IT'S ME NED! NED RYERSON! FROM HIGH SCHOOL! COME ON, NEEDLE NOSE NED!

whereismyrobot

@Dancercise I also like Slate's Culture Gabfest (although they are kind of snobby hispters and have to overexplain when they like things)
I like The Dinner Party Download as well. It has a lot of interesting and esoteric topics.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me
OMG YOU GUYS! I only now finally listened to this week's Throwing Shade, and Erin read my tweet on the show!!!!!!! (I'm jeninpublic)

ClogginBoydCrowder

@Dancercise Judge John Hodgman. John Hodgman of The Daily Show and apple commercial fame, hears funny disputes between people, and gives a ruling. The disputes are pretty entertaining ( a dispute in a beard-growing contest, or whether a band should encourage an audience to clap along with them, for example), and John Hodgman is a great judge, who always comes up with good points during his ruling. Plus he usually finds a way to make fun of Portland, Oregon (always a plus). It's only about a half hour, so the pace is quick. Give it a whirl! I also like This American Life, and Marc Maron, if he has an interesting guest to interview.

thebestjasmine

@whereismyrobot I love the Culture Gabfest, and while Stephen Metcalf usually annoys the hell out of me, in this week's episode he earned my undying love (okay, maybe until the next week or so) in his rage against Tosh and his defenders.

Danzig!

@Dancercise If you enjoy being mortified (really, who doesn't?) a bro of mine records a podcast called Lou Reads, in which Lou (that's the host) scours the internet for uniquely depraved message boards and reads selected posts aloud (straight, without comment) in a pitch-perfect radio voice. The Brony / Clopper ep is his most popular (natch), but there's stuff on junkie stories, Pokémon vore slashfic, you name it. Great for the masochists out there.

Throwing Shade deffo rules. Also the Pod F. Tompkast, which is somewhat inconsistent in its release schedule, but if you like Paul F Tompkins, it's a must-listen.

Avoid WTF, I say. Marc Maron is a dickhole

whizz_dumb

@Dancercise I can't believe nobody's suggested Comedy Bang Bang. Well I am right now: Comedy Bang Bang (also a show on IFC) with host, Hot Saucerman.

lobsterhug

@Dancercise I'm totally going to recommend my fiance's podcast: The Pizzcast. He and his friend talk movies. Sometimes I butt in.

Dancercise

Thanks, everyone for the suggestions! I'm going to check these out this week!

and it's not even my birthday

@Dancercise

I would also like to thank everyone sincerely. I've come to rely on podcasts for social sustenance and mental stimulation to an extent that I'm still having a hard time getting comfortable with, but what can you do. Despite this, for some reason I have a very hard time scouting out new resources--I don't even know how/where to begin, and googling for podcasts just seems too chancy. I've come to rely on Marc Maron a lot, but I think sometimes he only exacerbates my neuroses and reifies some of my least redemptive tendencies. I've also just figured out that Alec Baldwin's soothing ass only puts out once every two weeks.

reebs14

I met a super hot guy at a wedding who is in the seminary at Notre Dame. My lapsed-Catholic self was intrigued. Now, onto my Dear Diary for the week. Correct me if I’m wrong, but being notified about the leaking toilet in the unit directly above our bathroom is pretty effing pertinent, right? Thanks, Mr. Landlord (who happens to be the in-house attorney at my company, ugh). So now we have falling ceiling tiles and gross water issues which were completely unexpected. Awesome.

Good things:
- Getting closer to eating like a mostly normal person after a delightful gum graft surgery almost 2 weeks ago (and have also quit smoking I guess? I didn’t want to fuck up the graft at first, but now it’s become a competition with myself to see how long I can go. I even made it through a wedding reception despite drinking Dewar’s like it was my goddamn job).

- My very favorite Man-Friend With Whom I Occasionally Have Sexytimes called yesterday to see if I wanted to hang out while he’s in town this weekend. Of COURSE I do, you adorable ginger-bearded Army man.

Bittersweet

@reebs14 A super hot seminarian AND a super adorable Army man for sexytimes? Your life is way more exciting than mine.

(Sorry about the gum surgery. Good luck with continuing smoke-free!)

thebestjasmine

Also, Bay Area people: Hairpin book club! We're going to read An Uncommon Education, and will meet sometime at the end of August (location tba). Join, read, come!

StandardTuber

@thebestjasmine Now I have that Channel 2 song in my head (second time this week!).

pearlforrester

@thebestjasmine A Hairpin book club in the Bay Area, you say? Awesome! I'll check out the Google group and hopefully see you in August.

StandardTuber

Please post your blog, twitter, tumblrs, etc. again. It was nice finding new people on here last week!!!

werewolfbarmitzvah

@Mabissa I actually JUST started a tumblr yesterday!

DJ Aunt Fancy

(I decided my "DJ name" would be Aunt Fancy. And I plan to post great R&B, disco, funk, reggae, soul, and occasional Britpop from throughout the ages.)

StandardTuber

@werewolfbarmitzvah Cool!!!

StandardTuber

@Mabissa ... I'm at https://twitter.com/#!/StandardTuber Usually I keep things funny, but today has been more angry.

WhiskeySour

@Mabissa
My tumblr is WhiskeySourest. I can't wait for more cool people to follow!

werewolfbarmitzvah

@Mabissa Nah, I'm just a bored librarian. But after several years retired from the blogging game, I felt like at least having a teensy bit of an internet presence again, and a place to give people fun things to listen to.

And yep, today is definitely one of those days for being angry. These crazy pro-gun people are allllllllll coming out of the woodwork today!

OhShesArtsy

@Mabissa I haven't updated my crafting and decor blog in a very long time but I have grand plans to do it again "soon".

http://screwthatimcrafting.blogspot.com

..."soon"...

maybe partying will help

@OhShesArtsy

Warning: I'm going to creep on alla your Tumblrs after I see DKR and Tumblr is safe to navigate again.

beebz

@WhiskeySour Wow--I just read the long term relationship comic on your tumblr and laughed so hard but silently (I'm at work) that I cried. I CRIED! I don't really understand tumblr but if I did I would follow you.

Elsajeni

@Mabissa Blogs and tumblrs! I just made a tumblr and I want more people to follow. (I would link to mine, but tumblr is confusing and makes me nervous and so far all I've done with it is reblogged one picture of a hot cosplayer.)

area@twitter

@Mabissa Seconded. Holla to all my new Twitterfriends! I'm at https://twitter.com/Sedna_51, if that's your thing.

thatgirl

@Mabissa My tumblr is "bedheadedone" and I post a picture of my bedhead every morning when I wake up.

punkahontas

@Mabissa I'm at punkahontas.com. I love it when 'pinners come visit!

christonacracker

@Mabissa Here is my new tumblr about rural county fairs (and their amazing, amazing art exhibits)
http://www.tumblr.com/blog/blue-ribbon-piggies

meetapossum

@Mabissa meetapossum.tumblr.com

aliceandstuff

@Mabissa My twitter is @aliceandstuff and my blog is http://maybehitsuzen.wordpress.com !

VolcanoMouse

@Mabissa I write about sewing and outfits and the occasional book at Darling Autodidact.

the roughest toughest frail

@Mabissa My tumblr: http://stillruthless.tumblr.com/

I love following 'Pinners!

Decca

@Mabissa Follow me down a dark alley @Casserine.

orangeyouglad

@Mabissa http://onesentencemoviesynopses.tumblr.com/ I just came up with this today and at the very least, it entertains me.

leonstj

@werewolfbarmitzvah - AHA. That explains the new follow. Gratzie!

steponitvelma

@Mabissa I just started one this week! I do legal research and kept coming across weird laws so I started shitlegislaturessay.tumblr.com to collect them all.

christonacracker

@christonacracker aw fuck I meant
blue-ribbon-piggies.tumblr.com/

adorable-eggplant

@Mabissa http://sushicart.org/blog I just posted a cookie recipe! Best cookies I've ever made. :)

klemay

@werewolfbarmitzvah That might be the best DJ name I've ever heard. And mine is DJ Cunty Fresh, which I was pretty proud of.

allofthecrafts

@Mabissa vronatermoie.tumblr.com !!! FOLLOW ME AND I WILL FOLLOW YOU AND IT'LL BE A HAIRPINBLR-FEST

Lily Rowan

I'm all excited this week, because a submission to the Good Stuff blog http://goodstuffhappenedtoday.tumblr.com/ went viral! 30K+ notes in 24 hours.

Scandyhoovian

@Mabissa I am in these places (and I will follow back everyone that follows me, and I will also mass-add all the people in this thread when I get home) --

Tumblr: http://shadowfacks.tumblr.com
Twitter: @tekkah

lindackerite

@Mabissa I tweet at @lindackerite. I am so happy that my twitter timeline is full of 'pinners now and am always looking for more! It is seriously affecting my work, though....

StandardTuber

@aheapingspoonful What's UP! I follow you, you geology person you!

dale

@Mabissa The usual push for pet photos! Not 'mine' per se, but ours, I just curate:
pinpets.tumblr.com
submission page at pinpets.tumblr.com/submit

Sorry if you've submitted anything in the past few days, my parents have been in town so it's been a little busy.

StandardTuber

@Mabissa Oh, and my blog, http://steelwoolens.blogspot.com/

Lorelei@twitter

oooh, gonna follow allllll the tumblrs. Mine is sort of a half-assed cooking blog at the moment but sometimes also features nerd jokes and muppet pictures and bein' mad at jerks: http://kellylor.tumblr.com

Xanthophyllippa

@Mabissa Here I am. I write about writing, teaching, and fun with language. Sometimes I mock of public examples of bad writing.

Antonius Block

@Mabissa Yes! Pinners have the most wonderful blogs. Here's my tumblr.

miss buenos aires

@Mabissa I'm still doing my thing at Dressopotamia. Come on down, you might win a free dress!

cosmia

@Mabissa My twitter handle is @ledigirolamo!

Bittersweet

@Mabissa All the cool tumblrs! So excited to check them all out. Will anyone come visit me over at Wordpress?

Lustful Cockmonster

@Bittersweet I'm at wordpress! http://breadandginger.wordpress.com. It's recipes and I ramble a lot. And I am so overdue for a post, but my next one is almost finished, so hopefully that will be there soon!

aubrey!

@Mabissa I'm at awkwardbee.tumblr.com.

@Elsajeni Post your tumblr! What is tumblr for if not nerdy pictures of attractive people?

martini

@Mabissa I am @morningwoodelf! Where I post a lot more than I do on here, eep.

Megasus

@all I am mk_patter on twitter, and followed everyone on here, in case you are wondering who that creepy person is who is following you.

mariko

@Mabissa it's probably too late for anyone to notice (and I rarely comment o.O)... I mostly post film stills and poems I like:

aclockwithouthands.tumblr.com

one cow.

@punkahontas Thanks to you & your website I have bought Dr. Jart's BB Cream (awhile back) and just yesterday finally got the YSL Glossy Stain! I got #5 because another 'Pinner claimed it was universally flattering & I have the hardest time (as do people at Sephora!) defining my skin tone. Yay!

Elsajeni

@aubrey! Fair enough! It is the same as my username here:
http://elsajeni.tumblr.com

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Rookie Oops. What that should have said was "This is a Tumblr called Hockey and Arrested Development. Which is exactly what it sounds like." so click "Posted on" if you're interested, because... idk what happened there.

EpWs

@Mabissa vanillawaif and I CONTINUE to intermittently liveblog the exploits of the San Diego Zoo polar bears at @YourDailyBear. Jane has caught wind of this and has been contributing bear cleaning tips. Also, we're preeeeetty sure one of the bears is pregnant. Hooray!

EpWs

@tumblr'rs: I'm bluelightseven over on the tumblrs, I generally blather about everything and enjoy puns.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH JOY YOUR DAILY BEAR BRINGS ME. ALL THE JOY!!

EpWs

@Xanthophyllippa YAY! I'm so so glad. The bears are delightful, aren't they? With their carrot-eating and their pooping in the pool.

parallel-lines

My wedding is in 8 days and my period is late! This means I am either: A) pregnant (cue screaming, not ready yet!) or B) probably going to recreate the wedding scene from Sixteen Candles where the sister stumbles down the aisle http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eq5NSAyQEtI C) Just late, and will be all puffy and swollen, cute look that I tried to plan around using one of those iPhone apps.

I am going to a pool tomorrow which is pretty much period bait--maybe I should wear a white swimsuit. C'mon Aunt Flow, I am shaking my fists at you!

noodge

@parallel-lines
yes, white swimsuit. you should definitely forget any sort of tampon or pad too.

StandardTuber

@parallel-lines You'll get it during the wedding, it always happens I hear.

meetapossum

@parallel-lines Are you excessively stressed due to said impending wedding? That could be part of it.

But congratulations!!

werewolfbarmitzvah

@parallel-lines Yeah, this sounds like the precise scenario when stress would throw one's period out of whack.

falconet

@parallel-lines Hope the wedding is a lovely day, Aunt Flo or no Aunt Flo!

punkahontas

@parallel-lines Just this morning I was wondering when your wedding was! I felt like it should be coming up. That's not creepy at all though, right?

PistolPackinMama

@parallel-lines Wedding!

empathicalist

@parallel-lines Not to crude or anything, but orgasms are great for inducing a period. And any reason is a good reason:)

Judith Slutler

@parallel-lines yay for getting hitched!

parallel-lines

@meetapossum Yeah! I've been pMSing like mad for five days. The kind of crazy pms where you yell at food for being delicious, cry because it didn't deserve that, then eat it and get angry again. I''m sorry cornbread, you don't deserve that!

olivebee

@parallel-lines I had my period on my wedding day, and I forgot about it about 5 milliseconds into the ceremony (and I even had a very thin chiffon dress). It's totally NBD if you have it for your wedding. Your mind will be elsewhere.

OxfordComma

@parallel-lines : Oh, girl, it's totally the stress. Take three vitamin-C pills/tablets, and get yerself laid. That usually brings on the reluctant communists.

Congratulations, and I hope everything goes beautifully!

New Commenter Name

@parallel-lines
In the months before my wedding I had many dreams (nightmares!!) of getting pregnant and waking up in a panic that I'd be a pregnant bride and would not fit in my dress.

I guess what I'm trying to say is STRESS! Stress will cause all sorts of trouble including late periods.

lora.bee

@parallel-lines CORNBREAD HAD IT COMIN, damn cornbread why must you be so enticing.

etheline.

@Curiouser and curiouser this is my fear! Particularly around the six-months-prior mark. I find wedding planning to be a total bitch, and I don't think I could handle having to reconsider some of the details.
Now I'm about six weeks away, and high-fiving myself I made it through the danger zone. You can't scare me, unplanned pregnancy!

area@twitter

@OxfordComma I just wanted you to know that I laughed really hard at the phrase "reluctant Communists".

PistolPackinMama

@area@twitter Yup. Me too. Might be my new favorite euphemism.

OxfordComma

@PistolPackinMama @area@twitter : I live to serve.

TARDIStime

@parallel-lines Yes, like everyone else - it's stress.
Also, sexytimes are great for this,
Also, maybe you could see a chiro about a pelvic adjustment? That sounds painful but it's not invasive at all and can be done in like 5 minutes tops. Out-of-whack hips can affect ovulation.
Also, exercise (which you will be getting at the pool party. Winning! Definitely take some lady padding for "in case").
Also, fish oil tablets.
Also, iron-rich foods (apricot chicken is a great PMS dish).

parallel-lines

@TARDIStime @all OMG IT'S HERE, it took all of the above plus, like, a whole box of wine and a day of Bravo watching but amen it has arrived and they are reluctant no more!

It's okay cornbread, you can come out of hiding now.

thatgirl

I started a new job this week! And it is a good job, and the people are nice, and I'm going to get off my computer and drink beer with everyone because it is summer friday in the office time and I am employed!

eiffeldesigns

I disabled my okcupid account. OVER IT.

So I haven't met any new people this week :-(

meetapossum

I don't think I met anyone new this week. Though I do think I'm developing a crush on this guy that every other girl also has a crush on. Stop being charming, guy!

christonacracker

@meetapossum ha! I have this problem myself. Stop making so much endearing eye contact, guy! I know you're doing it to all the ladies! He's like a small town Bill Clinton and his damn hand-holding.

meetapossum

@christonacracker Right? I hear all kind of stories about you with your salt and pepper hair being nice to all the ladies! Stop making me think it's just for me!

joie

@meetapossum I have this dilemma with the mailman who comes to my office. He is a stone cold motherfucking FOX and I want him so bad. But he's married and has a kiddo, so I keep my contact in the respectfully-polite-and-friendly-but-rather-distant realm and fantasize about hot supply room makeouts with my mailman.

TheUnchosenOne

Why was there no Dark Knight Rises post? I have all of the thoughts and I need to share them! No spoilers, people!

StandardTuber

@TheUnchosenOne Maybe you didn't see the news?

TheUnchosenOne

@Mabissa I heard about the shooting and it was tragic. I still think it would have been nice to have a chance to talk about the movie.

StandardTuber

@TheUnchosenOne Go for it here, now! And no spoilers, agreed. Did you see it? Was Anne good, or at least better than past iterations of Cat Woman?

TheUnchosenOne

@Mabissa I liked it! It's not as good as either of the first two, though.

Hathaway did a good job. Not Ledger-level of proving her haters wrong but she still did a really good job. She's my favorite cinematic Catwoman but I'm not a huge fan of the Pfeiffer version, so your mileage may vary.

Judith Slutler

@TheUnchosenOne Is it like supergory? I am supposed to go see it, but I want to know if I should bring a scarf to hide under.

miss olsen

@Emmanuelle Cunt I also need to know this. More or less gory than The Dark Knight? If I found the violence in that really frightening, should I see/not see this one?

Decca

@TheUnchosenOne I'm not a Batman fan at all (his super power is just being wealthy, yeah?) but I looooooove Pfeiffer Catwoman! Blasphemy!

TheUnchosenOne

@Emmanuelle Cunt It is just as bloodless as the previous movies. There might be one scene that is a little gross but it's not gory, and if you know anything about Bane it should be easy to guess what it is but I don't want to spoil it for people who don't.

@miss olsen It's much less frightening. Most of the scares in TDK were, I thought, because the Joker was just so damn intense. There's nothing like that. Bane does like snapping necks, though.

TheUnchosenOne

@Decca Batman's real super power is being incredibly driven but I'm gonna let that slide. I just can't get past her costume! It is So Bad. Also I kind of don't like the movie she's in. It all conspires against her.

Judith Slutler

@TheUnchosenOne OK, yeah, sounds like I can deal.

With a scarf.

Why do I get the feeling my boyfriend is taking me to this movie just to watch me jump at every single jump scare, lol I am such a wimp

wharrgarbl

@Decca His superpower is basically being emotionally damaged. Kind of like the Punisher's superpower is murder.

whateverlolawants

@TheUnchosenOne Ewwwww that is pretty gross. But not pencil-disappearing gross.

Audley

@TheUnchosenOne I was surprised at how much I liked catwoman. The movie was very fun.

@Emanuelle Cunt Definitely bring the scarf. It wasn't necessarily scary, but it was pretty intense.

TheUnchosenOne

@Audley Yeah, I think Hathaway really steals the show. Definitely the best performance, which is good because as written she's kind of a weak character. Levitt is second-best, I think.

Bane sounds like Sean Connery, by the way. Just so none of you will be able to hear anything else.

Audley

@TheUnchosenOne Levitt was great. He did a great job selling the audience on the whole (possibly a spoiler but it happens in the first 20 minutes) "I realized your secret identity because my parents are also dead" thing.

Inkling

@Mabissa
I mentioned this previously, but when Catwoman gets onto a motorcycle, ALL of the shots are butt shots. Just a butt racing down the streets of Gotham. 'Course when Batman rode his Batmobile motorcycle, we never saw a single buttock.
Also she wears her hair down alla time, which is bad for burglaries. But there are a lot of men like "hurr I am underestimating you as a woman" and she's like "witty remark, now you are bleeding" so, you know, that.

Audley

@Inkling The batcycle scenes were a bit disappointing, but I did appreciate that at least the shots of her didn't get male-gazetastic till after she had been fairly established as a character.

As a long-haired lady who regularly has to clean large quantities of hair off her floor, I did raise an eyebrow at her styling choices, but I was able to summon my willing suspension of disbelief.

Dorothea

@TheUnchosenOne These are my thoughts exactly. I thought Anne hathaway's cat woman was great, and maybe the most substantial role for any woman any modern blockbuster that I've seen. And yes, Bane sounded like creepy Sean Connery, which I found weirdly effective.

I haven't seen the dark knight, which seems to have colored a lot of critics' perspectives on the movie. I thought it was awesome!

TheUnchosenOne

@blahstudent "Creepy Sean Connery, and weirdly effective" is pretty much exactly how my sister described it after I mentioned I thought he sounded like Connery. I thought it worked, too, mostly. At first I thought "No way can I take this guy seriously NOW," but after that first scene I realized there was supposed to be a kind of weird disconnect between his voice and his body and actions.

liverwortlaura

@TheUnchosenOne Just saw it yesterday - my thoughts: after this post I was actually pleasantly surprised at Catwoman, the filming being not nearly as male-gazey as I thought it might have been. I felt like her character was really what tied the whole movie together. The sound quality in the theater was shit, so I really understoon <50% of what Bane was saying :( I was also pleasantly surprised that it was not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. And, holy cow - I know we all go to super hero movies with a very basic suspension of disbelief, but within that framework, COME ON!!! there are things that are just IMPOSSIBLE or NOT EXPLAINED and I know it's silly but....... drives me crazy.

TheUnchosenOne

@liverwortlaura I've been hearing people complain about not understanding Bane a decent amount. I assume it has a lot to do with the theatre, because I caught everything just fine.

I thought The Dark Knight had a few moments where it expected you to not pay too much attention to what was going on (the entire bit where the Joker is captured, for instance), and TDKR has even more, and isn't nearly enthralling enough to make up for it.

ReginaSavage

Yeah...

So I tried to break up with my boyfriend of 5 years on Monday. Its been a long time coming and the few days before were just too much. So I sat him down and told him and explained all my reasons why. And he said I was right, he's done a lot of shitty things to me. He apologised and said he'd change. We're still together but I know that he's full of shit. He's promised he would do more, drink less and be an actual boyfriend to me for a while now. And every time I confront him he agrees, changes for about 2 weeks then goes right back to his old ways.

Fine. So this is it, this is the last chance. So I'm going out tonight in the hopes that he'll go "Woo-hoo! The bitch is out, let's PARTAAAAYYYY!" So I can kick him out already. I've just had enough, he's been beyond disrespectful to me and we both know he isn't REALLY going to change.

So, do your worst boyfriend, do your worst. Just don't be surprised when I pull out the suitcases in the morning...

TheUnchosenOne

@ReginaSavage I know you didn't ask for advice but I think this is kind of a crappy idea. I don't really know the situation but it sounds like he's run out of chances! Do you really need one more thing for a reason to break up with him?

MissMushkila

@ReginaSavage Aw you should just dump him and kick him out. He sounds like he's had enough chances, and you don't really want to be with him anyway.

(Although I totally know the routine of giving lots of chances. I do find that when they do something truly awful it makes the whole breaking up process a lot easier)

ReginaSavage

@TheUnchosenOne I don't need any more reasons to break up with him, no. But its just basically for his sake. Just so that there's nothing for him to debate when it comes time.

That and timing is everything. We're planning a trip to visit his folks in a couple of weeks. So the flight is already booked, I can just cancel the return trip. If I can hold off until that date everything is golden.

Megasus

@ReginaSavage Yeah, you don't sound like you want to give him another chance, or that he deserves it, so why is he still there?

ReginaSavage

@Megano! Like I said, its more to do with the timing. He's from Nova Scotia and we're currently in Toronto. So the logistics of kicking him out are a bit complicated. He doesn't actually make enough to live on his own, so he has to go back to NS once I kick him out.

TheUnchosenOne

@ReginaSavage Yeah, I get you. I wish the timing wasn't so crappy right now. It sucks to have to balance that against not wanting someone in your life anymore.

MilesofMountains

@ReginaSavage I feel that when you're hoping your boyfriend behaves badly so you can break up with him, you might as well break up with him and stop dragging it out.

EternalFootwoman

@ReginaSavage Thing is? If he's behaving terribly and you want to break up with him and have, it sounds like, already exited the relationship emotionally, then you are no longer responsible for his life/welfare. He has to go back to NS? Then back to NS he shall go. That being said, I once lived with an ex for nearly a year because I knew she couldn't afford the rent on our place by herself. So, you know, pot/kettle.

ReginaSavage

@MilesofMountains If it was just that easy, I would've done it already.

Does Axl have a jack?

@ReginaSavage Oh hon. *hugs* You just seriously described what took me so long to kick my ex out: he kept swearing he would change, and he couldn't afford to live on his own. I really have nothing but sympathy on this one...it's a shitty feeling. Hmm...how much would it cost to change his plane ticket to one, like, next week?

ReginaSavage

@Does Axl have a jack? I bought the tickets on a seat sale, I don't get my money back for cancelling the trip and it'll cost me a $75 fee. Then I'd basically have to re-book and re-pay for the flight which will be about $300 + the 75 fee, + whatever it'll cost for me to re-arrange my travel plans.

Because, oh yeah! IT GETS WORSE! I still have to fly out there next month for work related stuff. So I can stay with friends and co-workers, hotels and that, but yeah... It'll be more than I can afford.

Megasus

@ReginaSavage Ah, that sucks. But can't you work out a thing where he sleeps on the couch and you are not his girlfriend anymore?

ReginaSavage

@Megano! That might be possible, we'll see.

Saskquatch

@ReginaSavage I'll be arriving for a Halifax visitation starting on the 30th. I dumped my boyfriend (whom I still care for, full disclosure). Let's meet for drinks. I would like to roll my eyes about other people's poor adult behavior while I (an adult) behave poorly. Get at me, wolf.

ReginaSavage

@Saskquatch How long are you there for? I'll be there Aug 6-17th, though those dates may be subject to change.

Saskquatch

@ReginaSavage I leave on the 12th. We have overlap! I'll be on the South shore some of the time, but my schedule is flexy so far. I have never tried to meet someone via public forum before what do we do, exchange emails? Everyone will see me!

dabbyfanny

@ReginaSavage I think the tell him it's over, but still do whatever you need to do to feel like a decent human being thing is totally possible. I had an emotionally abusive bf for six years who just. Would. Not. Take a breaking up. He'd always promise to do better and everything was my fault anyway, so what? One morning I woke up next to him, turned to him and said "The thing is, I have no love left for you. It's over, and there is nothing to be done about it. Stay until the apartment sells if you want, but you need to move on". Totally worked. He slept on the couch for a few weeks but it was so much better to be honest that we were in a transitional phase. We did plenty of family activities too, which confused the hell out of everyone but who cares? Good luck, and don't forget it's up to him to figure out what makes him happy from now on.

Saskquatch

@ReginaSavage Are you on the hairpin meetups google group? Just realized you can find me there, same username, so we can exchange emails. Still a public forum, but less public.

crookedlegs

@ReginaSavage If you're in need of a couch for a few nights, let me know - I'm in downtown Halifax!

crookedlegs

@ReginaSavage Orrrr if you guys want to have the world's tiniest Pinup :)

VolcanoMouse

HAVING FRIENDS OVER IN A COUPLE HOURS. Some of whom are bringing new people! Excitement!

Should I make pie? I don't know if they need pie. Someone else might be bringing dessert, but I have extra fruit and ricotta from the tart-thing we made earlier in the week. Though I am already responsible making them pasta and salad and stuff.

Socially awkward hostess trembles lest her guests go away cranky or hungry.

What tasty things have you cooked lately, the Hairpin? Pie?

maybe partying will help

@VolcanoMouse

Everyone always needs pie. Yes/yes?

kickupdust

@VolcanoMouse pie is the best food EVER, but if you're already stressed don't bother! or get someone to help you! I find that most people really like to help with little tasks like that.

PistolPackinMama

@VolcanoMouse Will making pie make you feel happier or more freaked. If a, make pie. If b, they can come over for pie another time. Party excuse!

I made peach crisp. And I am going to make tiiiiiiny stuffed eggplants tonight.

noodge

@VolcanoMouse I made sriracha peach crisp a few weeks ago, after a recommendation from a fellow 'Pinner and it was 1.) easy and 2.) delicious.

VolcanoMouse

@PistolPackinMama Good question! It might make me feel more alarmed, so I think we'll pass on it. Future pie will be shared instead!

@teenie That sounds amazing. I have peaches. I have sriracha. How do I put them together?

noodge

@VolcanoMouse
like this.

VolcanoMouse

@teenie Oh lord. I was going to toss some sugared peaches on the grill, but this...!

noodge

@VolcanoMouse (note: vanilla icecream or soycream is a must with this... it left me speechless)

Judith Slutler

@VolcanoMouse Wait how do you do pie crust that can just spontaneously be rolled out w/o chilling it for a long time? Or do you get premade? Tell me your spontaneous pie secrets.

dale

@VolcanoMouse Maple tarts for Canada Day.

Dancercise

@Emmanuelle Cunt
What do you consider a long time? I just give it like 20 minutes in the fridge and it's perfect for rolling out.

like a rabid squirrel

@VolcanoMouse Seconding the vote for sriracha peach crisp. I made it after someone mentioned it here and it was amazing.

Judith Slutler

@Dancercise Wow every time I do that, it turns into a sticky mess!

dabbyfanny

@PistolPackinMama Where are you? I'll be right there. And what are you stuffing your tiny eggplants with, please?

PistolPackinMama

@dabbyfanny I am on my balcony in a Small Midwestern Town.

Probably I will stuff them with rice, rosemary, oregano, eggplant guts, some tomato, maybe mushrooms and maybe some sort of meat, but not nesc. Also perhaps nuts of some kind. And a splash of wine. And garlic.

OH WOW SRIRACHA PEACHES.

*tiny tiny foodgasms*

dabbyfanny

@PistolPackinMama I am in a Mid-sized Midwestern Town. I will teleport to you immediately. Those stuffed eggplants sound SO GOOD. I stuffed peppers with mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes, pesto, walnuts, parsley, chili and breadcrumbs this week , and they were rather splendid, so now I want to stuff everything.

PistolPackinMama

@dabbyfanny Well! STUFFED EVERYTHING!

There are grape vines growing on my way to work, and I AM SO TEMPTED to sneak a few home and make dolma with them. Stuffed with lamb and rice and lemon and diiiiiilllllll.

See you at mine ASAP.

dabbyfanny

@PistolPackinMama Oh god. TAKE THE GRAPE LEAVES. I'll bring wine.

PistolPackinMama

@dabbyfanny OKAY! ALSO WE WILL HAVE FETA CHEESE AND OLIVES.

purefog

@olliegrace DISSENT. I made the Sriracha Crisp and thought it was awful, so much so that I threw it away before finishing it. The last time I did that to a dessert was probably during the Truman Administration. And I love peaches and love sriracha.

like a rabid squirrel

@purefog I can understand how some folks wouldn't like it, definitely. Also, I think ice cream may be essential to adding some just-plain-sweet contrast - I only made it once and didn't try it without ice cream.

PennyH

I met Alain de Botton today. He's pretty interesting and talks A LOT. Was basically like a live TED talk.

churlishgreen

@PennyH His tweets often make my day!

toastandjam

@PennyH Details please!!!

ach_so

@PennyH Ahhhh I love his writing!

WaityKatie

@PennyH AHHHH I second the demands for details! Also can you ask him if he will be my friend? Kthx.

PennyH

@PennyH okay, hope I'm doing the replying thing correctly here. For reasons related to my job he came to a meeting to talk about Religion for Atheists. So it was quite similar to his TED talk on Atheism 2.0. He speaks really well, gets you interested and doesn't make you feel like you'd have a hard time understanding any of it. He's very enthusiastic and clearly passionate about the topic. If you ask him a question his reply goes on for AGES because he's so enthusiastic which is nice. Definitely made me want to read his work. Maybe I'll start easy with his twitter :D

whereismyrobot

@PennyH Must learn more about him because he is spoken about on Peep Show.

rosaline

Question: Has anyone done Invisalign or Clear Correct? Opinions/feelings/advice you would like to share? Sadly my adolescent orthordontia has not held up so well, and I realllly don't want to do the metal-mouth thing again.

churlishgreen

@rosaline I did Invisalign, and also had metal-mouth FOR FOUR YEARS. At first it was really uncomfortable, I felt like I was gagging on the plastic and talking really weirdly. Also, like their metal brethren, each new set was pretty uncomfortable.

But I got used to them pretty quickly, and I have to say my teeth now are super-perfect, much better aligned (I think) than they were when I got my original braces off. I am really pleased that I did it even though it was expensive (and of course I paid myself this time).

rosaline

@churlishgreen That's encouraging! How visible do you think they were? I've been looking at pictures online but haven't found many non-advertisement examples.

churlishgreen

@rosaline I felt like they were EXTREMELY visible, but nobody agreed with me. People always seemed genuinely surprised when I mentioned my Invisalign issues (as in, you're out to eat with people and you have to take them off before you can eat). And I had a couple of nasty brackets on very prominent teeth for much of the time.

I totally freaked out when I first got them, but after a day or so it was fine and again, I am so glad I did it. I get fewer headaches now, and (I might be rationalizing in a continuing effort to justify the expense) but I think my face even looks better--more symmetrical. I had serious alignment issues with the upper and lower jaw before.

One thing to note: I found it really, really difficult to take the damn things off. They gave me this useless little plastic tool, but it did not help. I got a hook-shaped tooth-scraper type thing from the drugstore that worked much better.

rosaline

@churlishgreen Ahhh this is so helpful. Thank you!!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

I started If on a Winter's Night a Traveller this week. I haven't read it yet, although I did read Cosmicomics a while ago.

I basically have only made it through the intro so far, because most of my "down" time for reading I don't have the mental energy to concentrate on real literature that requires and provokes thought. But I LOVED the intro and I had to keep myself from LOLing while proctoring a test in a silent room :)

bitchycrosstownexpress

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me I LOVE that book. If on a Winter's Night a Traveler was my first Calvino -- I first read it for a class on postmodernism as a freshman in college that BLEW MY MIND (as I had never been exposed to Great Literature later than 1940 before, and you know, I was 18). I still go back to read it periodically.

TheLetterL

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me I had the same experience! The mental energy just has to align for some books.

221b

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Ah! I just bought this last week, and it is now sitting on my bedside table with its new book smell and uncracked spine looking very enticing. These comments make me think I should turn off my phone and start reading tonight.

cosmia

I didn't anyone new this week but akfjahsfg oh man my boyfriend may have subtly hinted that he wouldn't mind living together one day and as someone who naturally doubts the commitment of the other person in relationships this made me so happy.

oh well never mind

@cosmia Yay! Sounds like great news.

falconet

I met some pretty fascinating people - my AirBnb hosts in Switzerland! They had a real zebra skin tacked to the wall above their fireplace. Which, um, yikes, but it was a good conversation piece I guess?

Also, are there any pinners in the Kitchener-Waterloo area interested in a meetup in August? I am coming back to Canadaland at the end of the month and would love to make some new friends. If there's already a google group, please do point me to it!

noodge

i met a calmer and happier me, because my future mother in law, and both my parents (!!! which is completely shocking/out of character) gave me some money for the wedding.

So now, instead of counting each penny and panicking, I can relax and enjoy the ride! yay!

Steph

@teenie Yay! I'm hoping my parents are going to chip in for mine (b/c I'm basically broke) but I'm afraid to ask.

noodge

@Steph i was toooooo... my parents are much older, so it scared me. mom is 70, losing vision and hearing and is still working to scrape together a retirement, dad is 80 living in a state sponsored retirement situation, very fixed income, etc. But I just did it, and they couldn't do much but it was definitely a little boost. I literally was crying from anxiety when I wrote my email (my family is a little... baggage ridden and broken) but I did it and I'm really glad I did.

noodge

...also, all my bridesmaids are blowing my mind with their awesomeness. they're doing CRAZY things like paying for my invites to get printed, and calling in favors with stylists and makeup artists so I'll be gussied nicely for the big day. I feel overwhelmed with love right now.

parallel-lines

@teenie This is so awesome, yay! I'm happy that you're getting some much deserved relief!

MissMushkila

My boyfriend and I are trying to find someplace to live in September, while I am trying to find a job, and I swear I had an emotional breakdown earlier this week and I'm a little afraid that a scammer has our personal information.

We saw this duplex in our city that was within our price range, with a den we could use as an office and a deck, and it allowed cats and had new kitchen appliances. We applied right away, because these qualities basically make it a unicorn. The owner told us we were the first applicant, emailed us the next day to tell us everything looked good and sent us the lease.

BUT the lease had the dates wrong - like he had overlooked changing them. So I emailed him to ask the dates be corrected, in addition to asking how the unit was metered since it wasn't covered in the lease. Three hours later, the guy wrote back and said "sorry we decided to go with another applicant"...

Now the place is back up on craigslist and I'm just like WHAT?!? Even without me, my boyfriend's income was 3X the rent and we have good credit. Plus if they rejected us for a reason the laws here say you have to disclose.

So yeah, I'm worrying about that.

olivebee

@MissMushkila Oh man. Renting can be such a shady business. Just keep a close eye on your bank accounts and alert your banks that you want to know if anything suspicious shows up. And demand to know why you were rejected. If he doesn't respond, alert your local renters' rights organization/hotline/whatever.

whateverlolawants

@MissMushkila Weird! I recently was on a Craigslist housing search and realized several of those listings are scams. But I've never heard of that kind of shadiness!

MissMushkila

@olivebee I didn't think to look into a renters' rights organization, I'll have to check that out. I feel like maybe they decided they just wanted someone who asked less questions? But we got a little uneasy filling out the rental application since it asked for all of our banking and account numbers. I told them I wasn't able to access them at the time and asked if we could submit without them since you don't need them to run a credit check, so thank goodness for that. But my boyfriend does not seem as concerned as I am and it's making me feel super paranoid (my parents both worked in corrections so I'm naturally suspicious).

whateverlolawants

@MissMushkila Oh man, I just gave my future landlord my account numbers... is that standard?

WhiskeySour

@whateverlolawants I was just asked for account numbers on an apartment application for the first time ever, too. I'm pretty sure (like 99.9% sure) mine was legit; it's a complex, we went and looked at it in person, etc. But I've never been asked for account numbers before. Is this a new thing?

MissMushkila

@WhiskeySour I don't know, maybe someone else can tell us. It seems so awfully specific. I've never been asked for it before, and I don't know what they could use it for - you don't need it for the credit check.

rosaline

@MissMushkila I was asked for bank numbers when applying for a couple of apartments in California last fall. I didn't understand why they needed the numbers to my account. When I discussed this with my mother, she said that landlords want to check to make sure you have income/savings, but that they should be able to find that out through background checks or (although she wasn't sure this was possible anymore) calling the bank. So when I gave the forms to the prospective landlords, they both said that no, they didn't actually need the account numbers. There was just a blank on the form they had gotten from wherever.

So not necessarily sketchy, but I'm glad I asked and didn't have to give out my number. I would be dubious of anywhere that absolutely insisted you give them your account number; I feel like anywhere legit understands why you don't give out your account numbers willy-nilly.

purefog

@MissMushkila If you and your landlord wind up in litigation and you lose it will make it easier for them to collect on a judgment if they know your account numbers. That's the primary reason for it.

whateverlolawants

@purefog Oh, great. :/ Well, I don't expect that will happen.

maybe partying will help

I have not met anyone interesting this week, alas, but that's because I've become a hermit since my loverman went away on vacation. But I think I will be meeting some new peeps tomorrow at my comic book meet-up!

Y'all, this was a long and somewhat fraught week in the Hairpinterlands, and I would like you to all know that I enjoy reading all your comments and you're all sparkly fucken snowflakes or butterflies or bats or whatnot.

maybe partying will help

@maybe partying will help

ALSO my gent sent me a package and it arrived today and it is full of WONDER WOMAN UNDERWEAR.

Wonder Undies. Wonderwear. Wundies?

YAY.

TARDIStime

@maybe partying will help your Gent sounds like the perfect man!

redheaded&crazy

Toronto people! let's set up a book club to start in the fall. K? K

Also Toronto people: come to a Jays game with me? I wonder if my attempts to organize this are doomed forever...

cosmia

@redheaded&crazie YES BOOK CLUB BOOK CLUB. Also I would like to redo my sans-Hairpin Jays game experience from earlier this summer, in which they lost horribly and I had to walk home in a thunderstorm and torrential downpour.

redheaded&crazy

@cosmia well i posted about doing one next tuesday! sometimes I don't know how to get these ol things organized. I know that its best to organize something very shortly before it actually happens but that runs so counter to just, the way that I live!

falconet

@redheaded&crazie Oh man, I would love to join but I live in KW and am carless. Why is Toronto so close and yet so far? Why??

redheaded&crazy

@falconet ahhhh carless makes all the difference :( maybe you could FLY! (helpful. real helpful)

ReginaSavage

@falconet GO Train!

toastandjam

@redheaded&crazie I'm in! Book Club for the win!

falconet

@ReginaSavage The last one home leaves at 18:50! :C

ReginaSavage

@falconet Try VIA instead. They run from the same stations and in terms of price they're a little more than GO, but its totally worth it.

I smell burnt toast

@redheaded&crazie K. I'm in!

Megasus

@redheaded&crazie In! I still think it should be a terrible romance novel bookclub (maybe just sometimes)

cosmia

@redheaded&crazie CRAP I'M SEEING BATMAN ON TUESDAY :( Why does this always happen?!

phlox

@falconet What if we did a Saturday game? They are in the afternoon so you could make the last train no problem.

(or were you talking about the book club?)

But yes! Baseball! Book club!

Megasus

@cosmia Yeah, I can't go either, I'm out of town (BUT PROBABLY GETTING MY BRACES OFF WOOO)

redheaded&crazy

@Megano! I'm still fully on board with the reading erotic scenes out loud and everything too. THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING.

in my original post i was like, i'm going to a jays game for my bday! you guys should plan a jays pin up for that day too! but then i felt shy so i took it down but now i'm putting it here becauuuse maybe that day would just magically work better for people? (but it's on a friday (august 10th) not a saturday) (I would totally go for a saturday game but I don't think I have any free saturdays left in my july and august)

i need a parentheses intervention

Megasus

@redheaded&crazie I can go on August 10th (unless a miracle happens and I get job, but that is not looking super likely)!

redheaded&crazy

@Megano! as much as I would like for miracles to happen and jobs to happen ... yay! :D :D :D (it's in the evening anyway?!)

siniichulok

@redheaded&crazie Book club sounds great!

mabellegueule

I found out today I have to get sinus surgery but the surgeon's office is closed until August 6th so I don't even know when it will be scheduled, or what exactly it will entail. I remember some commenters here talked about sinus surgery before, anyone have firsthand experience they can share?

olivebee

@mabellegueule Ooh, I should hop onto this thread. My husband is always urging me to do it, because for my entire life, if I am in any position that isn't upright (standing or sitting, basically), I cannot breathe through my nose. My nose, like, closes up or something. But even when I can breathe through my nose, it's not enough air to make me feel like I got enough oxygen. He thinks it;s nuts that my parents never took me to see a doctor, but it also doesn't really interfere with my life because I just use my mouth to breathe at night and stuff.

rallisaurus

@olivebee Adnoids? I couldn't breathe through my nose very well until I had mine out. Fun fact: having an adnoidectomy gives you monster bad breath. It was so bad it grossed me out!

New Hoarder

@mabellegueule I had sinus surgery, "a correction of my deviated septum" (nose job!), and my adenoids removed all in one go not long after I graduated college. I'd always had breathing issues, a honking bronchial man cough at least once a year, and even auditory/ speech issues from my messed up face.

The surgery helped SO MUCH and though I still get sinus infections because I am cursed for life, they are nowhere near as bad as my previous ones. My doc did say I will need another sinus surgery at some point. The funny part of my nose correction was that my nose is straight again (after breaking it three times throughout childhood), but skewed to the right. So, before it went down straight and then skewed halfway through, but now my whole nose is skewed. It's nuts. But, I do breathe somewhat better!

DO IT DO IT DO IT!!! Just make sure you give yourself about 10 days of decent rest. I only gave myself a short week to recover, went back to work for a week and then moved to London a week later. Long story short, I moved on 7/7/05 and after traipsing about the city that day my throat swelled shut and I slept for about 24 hours.

cashmere velvet candy cane

I was watching Parks and Rec (what else is new) and during the scene where Ben is interviewing for a job with Dennis Fienstien (in the episode Citizen Knope, I think?), I noticed that there are MULTIPLE BOTTLES OF QREAM in the background of Dennis Fienstien's office! Aaaahhh perfect.

maybe partying will help

@cashmere velvet candy cane

Well I know what I'm rewatching when I get home. NICE.

I smell burnt toast

@cashmere velvet candy cane I KNOW I KNOW I noticed that too! Parks and Rec is a show I like to rewatch because there are lots of funny things in the background, like Chris Trager has framed boxes of cereal in his office.

Punk-assBookJockey

@cashmere velvet candy cane That is awesome. Love your user name and pic too!

contrary

@Punk-assBookJockey @cashmere velvet candy cane both of your usernames/avatars are amazing and perfect, please never change.

kate.m

This deviled egg matrix is making me rethink my concept of deviled eggs, because these look delicious, but also appear to be just hard boiled eggs cut in half with toppings! No popping out the yolk and mixing it with stuff required! Like, the one in position 4,2 and its twin at 3,3 -- that's just pepper and paprika! Is that even a deviled egg? Do I even care?

MissMushkila

@kate.m I love deviled eggs, but don't use mayo for much else so I never have it, so usually I just make hard boiled eggs and smear them with mustard and relish. And...it's healthier? I'm actually just lazy.

Lily Rowan

@kate.m You are right! Those are not deviled eggs.

Speaking of which, thanks to the Hairpin, I have now eaten a deviled Scotch egg, and my life will never be the same again.

kate.m

@Lily Rowan Deviled Scotch egg....! Do you have a recipe? Maybe I shouldn't ask. Oh wow.
@MissMushkila I love mustard & relish, and I don't really like mayonnaise in most situations, so I say you're not doing anything wrong.

Lily Rowan

@kate.m I don't have a recipe (someone else brought them to the party), but it was everything you can imagine, and then some!

Roxanne Rholes

@Lily Rowan there are definite benefits to having friends that are showoffs. Also, I have been drinking French 75s so much!

cosmia

Also I really feel like just getting drunk and silly this weekend but I am getting so sick, I can feel it, and I have two hours of work left and I just want to nap under my desk like George Costanza.

realtalk

Attn guys on OKC: STOP LYING ABOUT YOUR HEIGHT. when you say you're 5'6", I will notice that you're 5'3" instead.

noodge

@realtalk UGH what is up with that? I'm super short, and don't have any height prejudice, but I definitely have LYING prejudice. I never understood that.

olivebee

@realtalk I may be naive here, but I also never understood why women lie about their age. Age is something you cannot control, and if you are confident in yourself for other reasons, who the fuck cares how old you are?

meetapossum

@realtalk Yuuuup. You are not 5'9". I am 5'9" and you are 5'7".

eiffeldesigns

@realtalk You would think they'd have learned by now.

Also: You have pictures up dude, that gut hanging over your belt belies your "fit" description

klemay

@realtalk I weirdly met up with a guy from OKC who was cuter than in his pictures. Does that ever happen?? Unfortunately he was pretty boring, though.

Lemonnier

@olivebee Dudes also do it! There was this super skeevy dude who went to college with me, and he's on OKC saying he's 2 years younger than he is.

WaityKatie

@realtalk They will never stop. You just have to do your own mental calculations.

WaityKatie

@olivebee I think they lie because most guys on there are screening out anyone over 30. I mean, I just say "fuck it" and state my real age, but then I also get few to no messages, so...

realtalk

@WaityKatie OK, but is there ever a point where they're not lying? Like, assume anyone who says 5'6" is 5'3" at best, got it. But if they say 5'9", are they really 5'6"? What about 6' guys? I KNOW this is shallow of me, but like, I'm looking for some super casual dating and it hurts me in my 5'4" curvy self-image when I can cradle my tiny elfin date in my arms. No judgement if that's your thing, but I want some taller stocky bearded hipster action, you know?

meetapossum

@realtalk I usually assume guys 6'0" are telling the truth. Mainly because if a guy says he's 6'0" and is only 5'10", he's still taller than me and I'm ok with that.

Then again, 2 out of the last 3 guys I've dated were shorter than me, but I also didn't meet them on the internet.

WaityKatie

@realtalk I'm so glad you asked. I have a theory on this! The long version is, subtract 2-4 inches from everyone (who claims to be) under 6'. 6' and above, they are usually telling the truth. The short version is, everyone who claims to be "5'9" is actually 5'4 or below. NO ONE IS ACTUALLY 5'9, THEY DO NOT EXIST IN NATURE.

And oh yes, so many tiny elves abound.

nervousrobot

@realtalk Is it bad that I assume they're 2-3 inches shorter than what they've listed? It is. It is bad. That said, if they're great, we go out anyway.

charmcity

@WaityKatie I absolutely agree! 5'9 is the locus, the very dark heart of height-related deception. My theory is that these men are average or shorter than average, and have complexes about it, but realize that claiming 5'10 or up (which is actual TALL) would be too much. So they add 2-5 inches and assume that their good looks and charm will make up for it. And then also be all butthurt when it turns out that yeah actually I am 5'7 ... which is 2 inches shorter than your internet persona, but 3 inches taller than YOU ACTUALLY ARE. #spinsterhood

phlox

@meetapossum Last summer I went on a OKC date with a guy who had a whole little monologue about how great it is to be 6 feet tall. But then we stood up to walk to the subway station and I, 5 foot 3 plus my 2" heels, was taller than him. Ridiculous! (The date was not great regardless of his height, but ugh.)

WaityKatie

@charmcity Haha, yes, I'm 5'6 "on a good day," I never wear heels, and...I'm taller than you? Then you are not 5'9". SORRY!

okaycrochet

@realtalk i am seeing visions of a tiny elfin date and a taller stocky bearded hipster. Thank you.

whateverlolawants

My big news is that last night I went out to dinner with the ex-bff who apologized to me, "Jen." (I've shared the story on previous Open Threads.) We've sent many messages back and forth over the last few weeks, so I wasn't as nervous or emotional anymore, although I still was a bit.

It was really good to see her. We talked about what the last 4.5 years have brought us and what we're hoping to do. At the end of the meal, she thanked me for coming and apologized for how our friendship ended. She said she'd thought of me so many times, like when she'd see a video or article I would like and wanted to show it to me, but then remembered what happened. (In one sentence, she went along with the mean queen bee in our group in college, justifying a really brutal friendship break-up with very petty reasons.) She isn't close to the other instigators anymore (and unsurprisingly, she said she felt the queen bee was jealous of her and treated her poorly for that- which I suspected too.) She said she wanted us to see each other again, which I do too. We've made some loose plans to hang out again, and I thanked her for saying what she did and for helping me heal those wounds. I forgot to say directly that I forgive her, but I will.

We hugged goodbye and she said she'd missed me. I said I had too.

noodge

@whateverlolawants I'm so glad to hear that this worked well, and it's really inspiring me to maybe revisit a frendship-gone-wrong from college that I still don't understand fully. Thanks for sharing!

PistolPackinMama

@whateverlolawants I am so glad to hear all this. Thank you for reporting back!

whateverlolawants

@teenie I'm glad I'm not alone! As Jen said, "I'd wanted to reach out for so long. Finally I figured, the worst you could do is send me back a mean email calling me a bitch. I don't know if I would have had as good of a reaction as you did." The thought did cross my mind, which is why I didn't respond for several days while I thought it through. I hope whatever you do works out well!

TheUnchosenOne

@whateverlolawants I am so glad to hear it's working out. I definitely got a little choked up reading about this. Hearing about people patching things up after years apart always makes me happy.

Though it's not helping me forget about my own ex-bff who's been pretending I don't exist for the last year. But it does give me hope that she'll eventually reach out?

Judith Slutler

@whateverlolawants awwwww

whateverlolawants

@TheUnchosenOne Yeah, you never know. The other girls are, in Jen's words, "lost." I doubt they'll ever reach out, and I honestly am okay with that. I don't miss them. But I'd missed her, and her betrayal was definitely the most shocking and hurtful. I really hope your friend reaches out, or at least that you can find some peace about it. It really hurts, doesn't it?

TheUnchosenOne

@whateverlolawants It is pretty much The Worst.

barefoot cuntessa

@whateverlolawants I'm in the middle of ending a friendship right now. My best friend since college is dating a heroin addict. He hasn't used in about 6 months, but isn't in a program and still drinks, smokes pot, and has done cocaine at least once in the last 6 months. Its been an on and off habit for 8 years. We all also work together (I'm part time) and she is our supervisor. I've begged her to wait until he's set up with a new job (he has to quit per company policy), gets his own place (currently living with his dad), and is clean and sober for AT LEAST six more months. I was willing to compromise all the way to her taking a break for a week to do research about heroin and addiction, which she agreed to do. Two days later they were back on. My dad is an alcoholic and is currently finally (!!!) recovering from a five year relapse, plus I've a few people who've gotten into serious drug use and they are either dead, have HIV or hepatitis. I just can't even, you know? Sometimes I worry that I'm overreacting and have no business refusing to have any relationship with someone who dates someone who used to do heroin. Its the not working a program, still drinking, living with his dad, giving up a job for a girlfriend after 6 months of not using that is KILLING me. Any advice or input is hugely welcome.

PistolPackinMama

@melissamachete Haven't got much for you except to say, I think it sounds like you have it under control. Those are fine reasons to cut yourself off from someone if you need to.

A really good friend of mine who needed a 12 step in college said to me recently "you remember back in 1995 after I [did something shitty], that I would find myself losing friends because people who love me would still love me but eventually would need to take care of themselves more than they needed to put up with me and my drama? Yeah. You were right. Eventually, I woke up one day with no friends, my partner was gone, I was broke and I finally decided to get my shit together."*

This was in 2010 we had this convo.

You have to cover your own bases, and this is how it sounds like you are doing. It's OK.

*I didn't remember. But I can see why I might have. She wasn't a substance user, but hot damn was she good at enabling the hell out of them. And also? Al Anon. Your friend sounds like she could really stand to find her way there.

Good luck- it sucks, but you can do it.

barefoot cuntessa

@PistolPackinMama Thanks. I hope that one day (soon) we can have that conversation, but I highly doubt it. I have a feeling that once the relationship ends she will either be too proud to contact me, or refuse to believe or admit that it had anything to do with his issues. I'm currently trying desperately to find another job. I typically have my shit together, but am consistently at a 4 anxiety level when I have to work with either of them, 7 when its both. It also just really hurts when your best friend chooses a guy over you.

Any pinners need a best friend? I cook, have great fashion sense, a cute dog, and give excellent advice!

PistolPackinMama

@melissamachete Do you feel like you have to tell her all this? Would a Slow Fade work for you instead? I suppose either way it will blow. With a slow fade the door is cracked open if she needs it to be opened because you never said "yeahokno." But sometimes you have to say something.

I can always use friends. Come have gin on my balcony!

barefoot cuntessa

@PistolPackinMama We've already had a huge talk about it in which I said I can't be your friend while you are executing stupid choices stupidly. She knew what was on the line when she agreed to taking a break from her relationship with him and doing her own research about addiction and didn't follow through. (One of her big concerns was was that she felt like she was just following my orders and not making her own decision, so I said "PLEASE GO LEARN FOR YOURSELF" hoping naively that she would come back and be like "oh shit, you're right, dating this guy right now would be insanely stupid.") I don't think I'd be capable of a slow fade in this case, anyway. There are just so many facets of selfishness and bad decision making. You take the drug addiction out, and their relationship is still seriously affecting the morale at work. You take the work part out of it, and they are breaking every rule there is about relationships while in recovery. You add in a best friend whose dad relapsed a week out of rehab a couple months ago and you have a hot mess. I narrowly yoga-ed myself out of my 3rd panic attack 2 weeks ago. I don't normally suffer from anxiety.

Fortunately I happen have a perfectly healthy relationship with gin and balconies! They're kind of my favorite, especially if hammocks are involved.

soul toast

@melissamachete
I need a best friend. One of my closest friends friend-dumped me back in January, and my other best friend just moved across the state for a job. I'm happy for her, but it's not the same and now I'm lonely.

barefoot cuntessa

@soul toast Poop soup. I'm so sorry. Lets make virtual dinner and make fun of bad TV together on Wednesday nights!

whateverlolawants

@melissamachete Well, I like what @PistolPackinMama said. It sounds like you'd benefit from being less emotionally tangled with her. Working with her sounds particularly stressful.

Can you just ask her not to talk to you about him? Saying something like, "Because of my own experiences, and because of how much I care for you, it's just gotten too hard for me to hear about your relationship with him. I need some time off." (Time off could be from hearing about him, or from hanging out with her, or whatever you want.) I think framing it in terms of your own needs will make her less defensive and could preserve the relationship.

My initial reaction was, "She's not dating this mess, so why get so involved?" But then I thought about my own friend who has had many dysfunctional relationships, and how exhausting it is to hear about them all the time and follow the needless drama. And also how it's particularly painful to see someone act out a destructive behavior that has hurt you and your loved ones in the past. So I can definitely appreciate why you feel the way you do. It's obnoxious to watch this sort of thing. And then add the fact that you guys work together... wow.

You can't control her behavior. But you can talk about how it makes you feel, and you can share why you're concerned. Hopefully she'll see what you see soon, but you know what they say about horses and water. It usually takes longer for the person in the relationship to see what everyone else sees. Don't I know it...

Any new developments? I hope this works out for you guys.

camanda

I just got back from picking up my registration/paying the taxes on my car. It is all mine now yayayayay no more obligations to anybody.

And I had an interview (kind of) yesterday for yet another internal position. I am supposed to have my second interview (kind of) on Monday. I am not sure if there's much of anything besides formality to this because I think (HOPE!!!) I'm the only one up for the job, plus the second interview is with my operations manager, who interviewed me two weeks ago for the other job, and I assure you none of my answers to his questions have changed. So. You know. Fingers crossed anyway.

Did not buy any music this week but I have listened to Know What I Mean? in the car all day, having forgotten how perfect it is, and thus that is my recommendation. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdAM8dSYSYo

AnalogMetronome

Items of (dis)interest:
-Waitressing is still anxiety-inducing, am looking forward to quitting at the end of the summer
-Boyfriend got a cat, named it Captain James Cook, cat is an adorable little shithead
-Found a tiny, wonderful studio apartment, am moving to Boston in exactly one month!

Bittersweet

@MademoiselleML Boston, yay! Looking forward to seeing you at a future Hairpin gathering (if I can ever manage to make it to another one).

NeverOddOrEven

Once again, a humble request for 'Pinners to cross their fingers/say a prayer/send out good vibes for me.

I've been on a fucking emotional roller coaster today. I just found out yesterday that a clinical trial I REALLY want to be in started recruiting locally, and contacted them.
Today, I got a call back informing me I have a snowballs chance in hell of getting in, for a few different reasons.
Then, this afternoon, I get a call back saying they're going to do all they can to make it work. Apparently my reaction to the first call was sufficiently pathetic to guilt them in to trying.

It still might not work for any number of reasons, but this would fucking CHANGE MY LIFE. That is not hyperbole. I want this so badly.
I was crying like someone died after that first phone call. And I'm at work.

MissMushkila

@NeverOddOrEven I am crossing my fingers and praying and vibing etc.! It's kind of been a week of dashed hopes here too. I went in to get an IUD, and the doctor was like "actually we need to take cervical biopsies instead", and then I went to sign a lease for my dream home and it was retracted and I might be being scammed instead. What I'm saying is, you are not alone in the uncontrollable sobbing.

And it sounds like the people running the trial are pretty decent?

PistolPackinMama

@NeverOddOrEven Oh my god. I'll be walking past the convent chapel today and will go light at CLINICAL TRIALS CANDLE because I love me some magical light thinking.

*fingers crossed*

NeverOddOrEven

@MissMushkila
Seems that way! Problem is though, these things are apparently way more bureaucratic than I thought (though I should have known...), and the main problem lies in Mayo being able to accommodate Medtronic's time table. Which at this point is pretty slim.

NeverOddOrEven

@MissMushkila
And, of course, good luck with the biopsy! I'm am super pro-IUD. Mine literally could have saved my life.
And the house as well but, you know, priorities.

thebestjasmine

@MissMushkila Fingers crossed and good vibes sent for you and @NeverOddOrEven.

charlesbois

instead of people, I hope to meet my new house this week. hello house, I will say, I am going to live in you for 30+ years.

Cat named Virtute

I did not meet anyone interesting unless you count the man who followed me partway home from the metro Wednesday night yelling gross and threatening things, resulting in me running home and having the biggest stranger danger panic of my life compete with totally out of character closet searching.

But I'm currently sitting by a canal with a German beer reading How Should a Person Be? by Sheila Heti, and guys, it's so amazing. Nothing has spoken to my soul like this in a really long time.

falconet

@Cat named Virtute I am so excited to read this! Also, The Chairs Are Where the People Go.

MissMushkila

@Cat named Virtute I'm a little nervous to check this out, because people keep speaking so highly of it and I'm afraid I'll be disappointed, but if the pinners say it is good...

Cat named Virtute

@MissMushkila I'm so excited about it because it addresses a lot of things I think/worry about in my own head or with my ladyfriends, but don't actually see in literature a whole lot--worrying about the character of your soul and your life choices and relationships and art from the perspective of a youngish woman without a lot of cattyness or posturing. We see Sheila vulnerable and disappointed and questioning, and she talks about gender and art and the nature of genius, but in a way that is politically aware without being politically charged. I dunno, it's just nice to see yourself and your worries in a book, right? There is some weird gender stuff with regard to the differing roles that she ascribes to men and women in her life, but I think that it's pretty clear (so far) that these are her personal reactions, rather than her pronouncement of How The World Is.

Lustful Cockmonster

I am headed to NYC this weekend to celebrate Ma Grumple's 60th. Mom, Dad, Brother and I will be seeing the miserable Mets tomorrow and A Streetcar Named Desire (OHHHH Blair Underwood...) on Sunday. And Mom will be happy, which is what counts. I'm excited.

muffalutta

This week I found out I have a cockroach infestation, but great timing with Ask a Clean Person!

Megasus

@muffalutta Apparently my building has one, though I have never seen any in my apartment, and they had exterminators come on Monday, and I got a notice on FRIDAY that was like OH GOD CLEAN OUT ALL YOUR CUPBOARDS so I DID, and it took FOREVER, and then it turns out I probably only had to clear out like two. So...most of my stuff is still in boxes in my living room.

PomoFrannyGlass

@muffalutta I've lived in NYC for 7 years and this seems like a particularly roachy summer here, in my building, in my bars, in the subway, on the street...

muffalutta

@PomoFrannyGlass It is extra roachy, isn't it!? I wasn't sure if I was just saying this to myself to feel better. This is the first time I've seen apartment roaches bigger than a quarter since I left Texas. And I've seen a lot more just hanging out in the middle of the sidewalk.

HeyThatsMyBike

@PomoFrannyGlass It is because winter didn't get very cold and it is (or was up until today) a BILLION degrees everywhere!

MissMushkila

I met a building manager who tried to get us to sign a lease without seeing the apartment, hostilely implied I don't know how to work an electric stove properly, and then called us five times the next day to see if we had reconsidered and to ask what the other places we had seen looked like. She was interesting (in the MN adjective sense of...ooooh, THAT's interesting...)

PistolPackinMama

@MissMushkila !! Does this person work for UPI, perchance?

MissMushkila

@PistolPackinMama No, but I've read all about Spiros, so I avoid any of his places in the searching stage.

By the way, if anyone is looking for a horrifying/fascinating biography of a slumlord, you should read this.

area@twitter

All of the deviled eggs!! Om nom nom nom.
I finally read "Bossypants" this week and really, really enjoyed it. Tina Fey: a new role model. Now I'm re-reading "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" by Shunryu Suzuki, which I had to read years ago for a class. It's wonderful, and it's making me want to go back into learning about Zen Buddhism more- I did a lot of reading in high school and college, but let it fall off when I graduated. Today's closing line from my lunch read: "Just to continue should be your purpose. When you do something, just to do it should be your purpose."

noodge

@area@twitter the suzuki book is great! if you like that you'll probably also like "Buddhism: The Religion of No Religion" by Alan Watts - happy reading!

area@twitter

@teenie Added to the list- thanks!

Scandyhoovian

@area@twitter I'm about halfway through Bossypants and I'm really liking it a lot!

Briony Fields

I met a French girl named Manon. Manon is my favourite French name. I love saying it over and over again. ManonManonManonManon.

maybe partying will help

@Briony Fields

Is this name pronounced like the god-figure in The Craft? I really hope it is!

Briony Fields

@maybe partying will help I don't think so! My memories of The Craft are a bit hazy, but I believe that Manon is stressed on the first syllable, whereas the French Manon is stressed on the second.
Man, I never understood that Manon stuff. Witchcraft: It's complicated!

Faintly Macabre

@Briony Fields My favorite's Ysé! It makes me want to have a kid and pretentiously give her a French name despite being not at all French.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@maybe partying will help YES IT IS THIS IS WHERE MY MIND IMMEDIATELY WENT!

lora.bee

@Briony Fields Oh man, did anyone else think of Jean de Florette??

phlox

@Briony Fields Manon is my favourite French name too!

maybe partying will help

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me

I'm so glad I'm not alone! :B If I knew someone named Manon I would be such a pain about it, always asking for all their power and such.

royaljunk

I applied for a full-time youth librarian job this week!! *crosses fingers/crosses anything cross-able*

maybe partying will help

@royaljunk

Good luck! My dream career!

olivebee

@royaljunk Yay! Good luck!

royaljunk

@maybe partying will help
@olivebee

Thanks!!

Punk-assBookJockey

@royaljunk Good luck! I have an application in for a librarian job as well (I am a recent grad, and I have a full time job but it's more of a "resource center" type situation) I am hoping to hear back on soon!

soul toast

@royaljunk Yay librarians!
I'm about to apply for a cataloging librarian job, and I have filled myself with doubt. Also, the job requires me to have my references submit letters of recommendation. Is this what grown up jobs are like now? Or is it just because it's a job at a college?

lalaura

@royaljunk
Letters of reference is totes standard for academic jobs of all types.
Ask your referees to send the letters to Interfolio.com - they'll only have to write them once, but you'll be able to send them on (confidentially) to other jobs later.

noodge

can I say how glad I am to have joined the Fitocracy group? all the positivity from you guys is so appreciated. and Fitocracy (despite being clunky) is a really good way to monitor my (medically mandated) exercise.

PistolPackinMama

@teenie Yay fitocracy friends! So much fun!

falconet

@teenie I really need to join this for motivation's sake. Back in December I agreed to run a 10K race this October, and now July is almost over. Oops.

noodge

@falconet dooooo eeeeeet

elks

@teenie I'll have to google the site, because I've never heard of it! And while I've started eating better and exercising on my own in the past few weeks, I could always use some help/support.

oh well never mind

@teenie I have been so laaazy on Fitocracy recently :(
I am still exercising (kinda - between physio appointments at least) I just keep forgetting to update! I want the props!

leylusha

I didn't meet them, but I saw ZZ Top in concert on Monday! Someone was holding up a sign that said "beard guys rules (sic)" backwards for like half the song until they realized it and turned it around.

lora.bee

@leylusha This made me laugh out loud.

olivebee

Did anyone watch the premiere of Political Animals this week? There were some pretty great feminist moments, but some pretty eye roll-inducing soapy moments, as well. I am curious about your thoughts...

Same goes for the Project Runway premiere last night. I thought several of the designers (way more than the last few seasons) made impressive stuff!

WhiskeySour

@olivebee I'm watching Project Runway on the DVR right now!

frigwiggin

@olivebee Ahh, PR started again??? I used to watch it with my best friend but I missed the entire last season. Time to get on board with this one!

double paw?

@olivebee I felt the same way about Political Animals! Even with the groan-worthy moments, I'm intrigued by the Weaver-Gugino dynamic.

WhiskeySour

@olivebee
My favorite so far is Elena. I absolutely adore her sci-fi aesthetic. It's so different and structured and exciting (and I adore sci-fi.)
And I don't really care for Gunnar Deatherage's onscreen persona, but the name! Oh, the name!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@double paw? I watched the first half because it was on after Suits, but I couldn't stay awake through it all :(

olivebee

@double paw? Yeah! I can't wait to see more of their dynamic. And I loved Gugino's character. She's flawed, but still powerful. There are a lot of good things about the show that I am looking forward to seeing, but I hope they reduce the soapy stuff a little.

@WhiskeySour I don't know how far you are (and I won't spoil anything), but I loved Nathan's final runway dresses. Both of them were understated and deceptively simple, but the bright colors made them total eye-catchers. Plus he seems like a nice guy. A lot of them seem really nice (I always like the nice ones).

apples and oranges

@olivebee I kinda liked it! It's cool to see a show with two female leads that is so different from the norm, even if there are some over the top moments. My mom was swearing up and down that it isn't supposed to be based on the Clintons, but like.. it is definitely based on the Clintons, right?

thebestjasmine

@frigwiggin PR last night was fun! I feel like they did a good blend this year between casting good designers and good reality tv characters -- often when the show is bad it's all one or the other (lately it's been all the latter), but there were some good designs. And this season is supposed to have lots of drama with people leaving in the middle of the night, etc. Catch up!

Decca

We held our first Dublin Pin-Up and it wasn't awkward or weird at all!

Decca

@Decca Oh, and I also started 50 Shades of Grey for my bookclub, and having quite a fun time writing "lol" and "nope" in the margins.

Speaking of cake, I have cake

@Decca It was indeed a great Pin Up, and then I went to the Aran Islands this weekend and swam in the sea! So I am in my happy place. Now that I have a second to myself I will set up the Dublin Pinners Facebook group for more funtimes

entangled

Finally moving off campus, yay! Though I feel like the rental market in my area is even more insane than the last time I looked for an apartment (Manhattan, 2007... seriously, I have terrible timing with this shit). I basically had to refresh craigslist every 10 seconds, skip out early on work to visit the place (armed with proof of income and a credit report), then go straight to the property manager's office to fill out an application since places are staying on the market about 1 day here. I am SO excited about the location, though in square footage, this may be our 3rd straight downsize.

Relatedly, does anyone have any advice on portable dishwashers?

MissMushkila

@arrr starr Yes it is insane right now. I don't even understand. My boyfriend and I have started going "well hmm maybe we could get a storage unit and couch surf for a month???" But your story gives me hope. (I don't even live on the east coast, so)

entangled

@MissMushkila We were going nuts with stress trying to find a place. I'm in the bay area and things are totally booming (bubbling???), but I think rental demand is up all over thanks to the housing crisis. I did find that being very paranoid helped, and fortunately I had a flexible schedule at work last week, so I was able to push for the earliest showing appointment possible and lucked out that the property managed operated on a first come, first serve basis (I think some do, some review a few apps at once around here). If you can be that sort of aggressive, it's definitely possible. (also, I think we limited outselves a lot by location so there were only a few rentals a week popping up that really suited us)

okaycrochet

@arrr starr I am sorry to report that YOU are a portable dishwasher. This was the most horrifying part of our new-dishwasherless-apartment transition. Ay.

entangled

@okaycrochet we actually have been dishwasher-less the past 4 years. it HAS been horrifying, especially since our sink is mini-size and a lot of pots and pans don't really fit in it. The new place has a bigger sink, but it's really shallow and I don't think the water pressure is as good. :((

but the good news is that there's a lot of open space along the walls in the kitchen so it looks like I can fit one of those full-size wheelie dishwashers that hooks up to the faucet (and maybe the drain, too, I think). I've decided this is the best possible use of the money I got from relatives for my birthday.

Megasus

Still no job interviews. :( Question: in cover letters should I put down some of my ideas (it's for editing/blogging/writing type jobs), because I just kind of talk about what all I've done that makes me qualified, and clearly this is not working.
Also: anyone here with their own websites who have advertizing? Because my new site is going to have advertising, and we don't know how much to charge.
In better news, my ex started following me on twitter out of the blue and I was like HA SOMEONE MISSES ME but I did not follow him back, and I'm not going to.

billie_crusoe

@Megano! :( I'm sorry / good luck. I know nothing about your field, but I do know job searching is awful.

darklingplain

My aunt was very sick this week (in the hospital, her kidneys just...stopped working? for no apparent reason?) but today I found out she's doing much better! So relieved.

phipsi

@darklingplain :) Awesome.

SarahP

I have been so stressed out lately that I decided that every night this week I would just go home after work, not make plans, etc. And I ended up getting a lot done around the house, and seeing lots of friends anyway, all without stress! (Also without sleep, but whatever, that'll be next week's goal.)

AND remember when I wrote last week that I had gotten a raise? Turns out it wasn't automatic, it was merit-based! Awww.

Which is especially good because I just spent a large amount of money on an all-day extravaganza for my husband's birthday in a couple weeks.

remargaret

Due to an office lunch today, i ended up with at least dozen little containers of sour cream. What are some good recipes with sour cream??

PistolPackinMama

@remargaret French onion dip!

Slathered on roasted corn, sprinkled with lime and chili

Home made ranch dressing

Paprikas

coffee cake

in cold beet soup

baked potato party?

many things do not fly

@PistolPackinMama Now I want to throw a baked potato party!

remargaret

@many things do not fly You bring the taters, I'll bring the individually packaged sour creams!

New Commenter Name

@remargaret
Use it as a dip for Doritos!

remargaret

@Curiouser and curiouser Oh dang, your and PPM's suggestions combined tor tomorrow night's potluck. Sour cream, ranch dust, half a block of spinach, and some dried dill. Just add bag-o-chips!

phlox

@remargaret Chicken (or whatever) paprikash!

oh well never mind

@remargaret Hungarian goulash! Fajitas! Savoury pork pancakes! Oh, I'm hungry...

PistolPackinMama

I met a really nice financial adviser. It gives me hope for the world that nice people exist in the world. Not that I didn't know this, but you know.

I also met my new bright green dress with a portrait collar, and it will soon be meeting my shoes. Blue and red shoes, yellow with pink floral shoes, black with floral cloth detail shoes, hot pink shoes, and neutral bone colored shoes. Because there is no such thing as Too Much Color.

Also I met some tiny chocolate covered graham crackers that want to be made into teeny tiny s'mores and that are meeting my coffee.

SarahP

@PistolPackinMama Just seeing you with those colors on would make my day.

PistolPackinMama

@SarahP Watch this space. I will make pics available on Flickr when I get a chance. Or put them on HFC.

Dresses! All of them!

liverwortlaura

@PistolPackinMama You are so right! There IS no such thing as too much color! I am a strict adherent to this philosophy, and am almost irked when people compliment me, not in a bitchy "don't compliment me" kind of way, but more like people are all, "Ohhhhh! you are always so colorful!" and I want to liberate them, "YOU TOO COULD WEAR COLORS OTHER THAN TAN AND NAVY BLUE!" It's not like the few of us who embrace The Colors have a corner on it, you know? Think of how colorful the world could be!

punkahontas

Is anyone going to the Alt Design Summit in NYC next month?

ach_so

@punkahontas Sounds cool. What is it?

punkahontas

@rosielo It's a conference for designers/bloggers. They do a big one in Salt Lake City during the winter, but they have a one day event here in NYC this summer. It sold out in like two days, but I managed to get a ticket, which I'm really excited about!

Judith Slutler

Dry-fry tofu trip report: It was actually not awesome and got super chewy? Imma go back to tofu-ing in my regular way.

Steph

@Emmanuelle Cunt I am learning to cook with tofu this summer and I'm afraid to try dry-frying. Thanks for relieving me of the urge.

Judith Slutler

@Steph Not worth it!!! Just marinate that shit.

I either fry it in a hot frying pan or throw it in a glass pan and roast it in its own marinade.

aliceandstuff

So this has been week three of living in New York and it has been going well. I still have not really made any friends but I have been going to shows every night and having fun. And tonight I get to see Book of Mormon! Yay!

Fiddle dee dee

@aliceandstuff

Oh, I would like to see that. But I live far from NYC. Oh well. Glad it's going well!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@aliceandstuff Whoa! Awesome! Lucky.

chrysopoeia

@aliceandstuff Are you in the city? Have you joined the NYC pinners facebook group? We're having a pinup Saturday, you should come!

Also, my friend Rory is Elder McKinley in Book of Mormon, he's super awesome and I'm so happy you're seeing the show!

Alli525

@aliceandstuff Where do you live? I am in Astoria and always up for making with the new friends :)

chrysopoeia

@Alli525 I'm in Brooklyn, I work in Manhattan, and I'm often in Queens! Saturday's pinup is in Manhattan, in the east village.

Sea Ermine

@aliceandstuff I also recently moved to new york and haven't met anyone yet but I'm going to tomorrows pinup to try and fix that. You should come too!

chrysopoeia

@Alli525 Whoops, thought that was from aliceandstuff to me.

chrysopoeia

@aliceandstuff https://www.facebook.com/groups/nychairpinners/ !!!

Steph

I just booked so many plane tickets! I'm going to Seattle in Sept. for a friend's wedding then Spain for three weeks (for a conference and also because SPAIN). Looks like I am probably going to Anchorage at the end of August too. Can't wait!

Any Seattle suggestions for me?

frigwiggin

@Steph The King Tut exhibit is pretty frickin' phenomenal, but be forewarned that a) the lines are wicked long and time slots fill up quickly and b) there are fucktons of people so it gets kind of claustrophobic, especially with the assholes who are listening to the (Harrison Ford narrated!) audio guide because they can't possibly listen to anything while also paying attention to where they're going.

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin Despite how it sounds, I really did enjoy myself. Also the Pacific Science Center is rad in and of itself, they have insects and a butterfly room and other shit that we didn't have time for!

Judith Slutler

@Steph Seattle Public Library!!! By Rem Koolhaas. Lovely building.

Snicker-snack!

@Steph Ride the Ducks! Take the Underground tour! Get the hell out of Downtown and just pick a neighborhood to walk around in and explore. I recommend Ballard or Capitol Hill. Go to the Arboretum! Discovery Park! Oh my gosh, so many things. I've been here such a long time and I still love acting the tourist.

avoidmadness

@Steph I'm going to Seattle for a wedding in Sept too, it'll be my first time there, I'm really excited!

lindackerite

@Steph Definitely go into other neighborhoods -- Capitol Hill, Ballard, Fremont, even Queen Anne. But if you can get to West Seattle that's the best. Hang out on Alki Beach, eat brunch at Easy Street Records or happy hour pretty much anywhere in the Alaska Junction. Don't know if you're a coffee drinker but you can easily check out a ton of them in each place! Caffe Fiore is my favorite, but plenty of others as well!

JaneDoe

@Steph
I like the Ye Olde Curiosity Shop. They have mummies, and shrunken heads, and mutant animals. And jewelry, and Native art prints, and fudge.

frigwiggin

This weekend will be (hopefully) blissfully boring for me. My dad was unexpectedly in the country last weekend so I changed some plans (and we saw Beasts of the Southern Wild and it was amazeballs even though I got motion sick about halfway through and had to stare at my lap), and it started out good, but the next day he ended up discharging a lot of anger about things on various people (some crummy shit has happened in his life lately and I think it reminds him of when I was little, when other crummy shit was happening), and he made me cry and I had to shut myself in my aunt's bathroom for a while. And he told me that if it weren't for my brother and me he might hurt himself, but we don't have to worry because he won't because we're here. And then I had to go home and he's out of the country again. And JFC but I feel sick with sadness for him and how unhappy he's been.

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin ALSO the whole experience strengthened within me the resolve to never have children by my own body, because for fuck's sake we have a lot of mental illness and terrible things in our family. My relatives are all wonderful and I don't regret our family existing, but I need to draw a line and not produce any more brilliant, tragic people who will become alcoholics and succumb to depression, schizophrenia, or early onset Alzheimer's.

Judith Slutler

@frigwiggin Girl :( hugs.

darklingplain

@frigwiggin I've spent a lot of time thinking about that same problem and listening to Amanda Palmer's Runs in the Family on repeat. I love my family but man are we a bunch of depressive, anxious, obsessive-compulsive people, and do I really want to add another generation of that?

billie_crusoe

@frigwiggin Is it your dad whose wife left him in a foreign country, or am I mixing people up again. Poor dad, either way :( The dysfunctional craziness in my family is also a major reason I don't want biological kids, so I feel you.

frigwiggin

@Emmanuelle Cunt Thanks, lady. Hugs back. It's just...what do you do for someone who's been struggling with depression for fifty-some-odd-years and still hasn't found what works? (Other than weed.)

@darlingplain Yeah, exactly. No hard feelings to the people who already exist, but it seems hard to go into making a child who is pretty much doomed to have a bunch of problems.

@billie_crusoe Man, good memory on you! Poor dad indeed. I have been sending him silly youtube links so he knows I'm thinking about him because I don't know what else to do.

empathicalist

After struggling to make it work, I've realized that I have to rehome my puppy. I'm incredibly sad, but know it's the right thing to do. He and my older dog don't get along, and it's been a bit of a nightmare for months. That being said, he's a sweet, cuddly boy, and I feel like I'm abandoning my child.

sarah girl

@minijen I'm so sorry to hear that :( But it sounds like you've thought it out and made the best decision both for your family and the puppy. I hope you're able to rehome him with some fabulous people!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@minijen ack, this is the worst. We have a foster kitty we don't want to part with, and I'm holding on to hope that I can get a job soon so we can adopt him instead of having to let someone else take him. I'm sorry, but it means you're a lovely dog mommy that you're making this very difficult decision!

bitchycrosstownexpress

@minijen If it makes you feel better, we got my first family dog from my cousins after he didn't get along with their other dogs (one of them was bullying him out of his food), and he had a wonderful, spoiled existence with us for the next 15 years.

empathicalist

@minijen Thank all of you so much, it does help. I'm not overly emotional, but I've been weepy about it all week. Finally just put a post up on FB, will contact a rescue next week if I don't get any good leads. The food stealing is one issue, he's kind of a bully to my older, more timid dog, and is very, very noisy. Not behavioral issues, so much as personality. We've been through training, and waiting to see if he'd grow out of some of the traits, but it's not happening. He's so aggressive (in a clueless, puppy way) with the other dog that he's causing unintentional harm. I dread coming home, and the older dog is stressed, depressed and losing weight. Anyone in the Central FL area looking for a sweet, hyper, loving dog?

liverwortlaura

YOU GUYS!! I defended my thesis! Like, passed with flying colors! Plus received the most wonderful, generous, touching introduction by my advisor ever, so nice it threw me for a loop and I was choked up and had a hard time starting my talk. I only mixed up words two or three times and only tripped over my own foot once, but recovered with a curtsy! I kind of bombed a question, but they still passed me and now I have two weeks to make revisions, blahblahblah, I realize it is boring and no one cares but to me and my life this is a BIG DEAL. In other news, the parents are in town which is generally stressful, but nice at the same time. Husband has pinkeye?! Weather in Chicago is BEAUTIFUL, I'll take it, more of it, please, for the rest of summer.

Scandyhoovian

@liverwortlaura CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Xanthophyllippa

@liverwortlaura BOOYAH! Go, you!

PistolPackinMama

@liverwortlaura Oh yay! Well done!

Cat named Virtute

@liverwortlaura Congratulations! So great!

oboe-d-amore

@liverwortlaura Congratulations!

the little c

NYC pinners - there is going to be a pinup NEXT Friday at the Benevolent Citizens beer garden in Astoria, where we shall drink fermented beverages and watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics! We'll try to secure a table between 7 and 730, and folks can trickle in and out between then and the end of the ceremony at midnight. We'll eat schnitzel and everything! YOU SHOULD COME.

chrysopoeia

@the little c Please post this to the facebook group! Also, if you haven't, join the facebook group!

runner in the garden

@the little c - awesome!

Sea Ermine

@the little c That sounds awesome!

runner in the garden

@the little c - do you have a connection at the beer garden? I don't see anything on their web site about the Olympics.

frigwiggin

Has anyone here ever made truffles? I have a gigantic truffle hankering--not the hard-shell-goopy-center kind, but the slightly-soft-dusted-in-cocoa-powder-kind--and I don't know if I should try making some or just hunt down a truffle shop.

fuck fuck fuck

@frigwiggin truffles are easy! especially the latter kind. definitely try to make them if you have the ingredients for a ganache.

empathicalist

@frigwiggin Recipe that got me hooked, super easy: http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/chocolate-truffles-10000000608411/index.html

MilesofMountains

@frigwiggin They are so easy it's ridiculous

churlishgreen

@frigwiggin They are super easy--make them and report back!

MissMushkila

@frigwiggin My boyfriend taught me how to make truffles for valentines day just like that down to the cocoa powder, and even I didn't mess it up. The most important thing in making them is to 1) use good chocolate, and 2)make sure the room is not too humid (that might be the hard thing in summer)

remargaret

@frigwiggin One year for xmas, the bf banned me from the apartment for 3 hours. When I came home, he opened the door, the apartment smelled delicious, and he had cocoa powder smeared on his face. He, panicked, told me to go away and come back later. :) He'd made a mountain of truffs, and they were awesome.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@frigwiggin I like the Brazilian ones, Brigadeiros. They are craaaaazy easy! And omg delicious. I made peppermint ones for Christmas presents last year, they went over like gangbusters.

Punk-assBookJockey

@minijen This is the exact recipe I used too! It's so easy!

Cat named Virtute

@frigwiggin Yes, truffles! I make the smitten kitchen recipe and they're always fabulous and impress people. Just make sure your kitchen isn't too hot or things get mega messy (well, even messier. Truffles are a messy business).

barefoot cuntessa

@frigwiggin Ina Garten has an amazing recipe for chocolate truffles! The key is to only buy the best chocolate. Get the stuff with the least amount of ingredients. I always just coat them in cocoa, but they are awesome rolled in nuts! I keep some Starbucks Via on hand exclusively for baking. Since they're individually packaged they're always pretty fresh.

fuck fuck fuck

hello everyone I AM GETTING MARRIED next may. i also think i have epilepsy :O

comments on either are welcome, but if anyone has experience with simple partial seizures i would be really grateful to hear about them! especially in answer to the question...do i really need to go to take medication for this? i haven't even talked to a doctor about it, but i had a series of 4 or 5 little seizures in high school, and sometimes i still get the aura, and i am always having those myoclonic jerk things. i don't wanna go to the doctor because WHAT IF THEY TELL ME I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR?

Judith Slutler

@i'm a self-rolled man Go to the doctor!!! I have no experience with seizures, but seriously, even if it is a brain tumor you want to nip that shit in the bud, right?

frigwiggin

@Emmanuelle Cunt This. Talking to the doctor will not make a brain tumor bloom in response, no matter how much it feels like that's what going to the doctor's does.

Mingus_Thurber

@i'm a self-rolled man Sweet, darling Self-rolled? You need to see a doctor. It's horrible and scary and what if they tell you you can't drive for a while, and all that, but yeah. You need to see a doc.

And yes, you do need to take meds for simple partial seizures, even if all you're getting now is the aura. Seizure activity means something in the electrical wiring of your brain is bungled, and you really ought to get it un-bungled, before something potentially nasty happens.

Worst case scenario: if you have a brain tumor, odds are a zillion to one that it's a meningioma, the kind that lives on the covering of your brain. Those are easy to resect and not cancerous. But seriously, yeah, you need to see the doc. EEGs are a royal pain in the ass, and that sticky shit is hard to get out of your hair, but it beats zoning out or twitching or driving into a ditch.

Also, congratulations on getting married! If you're having A Wedding, you'll find that myoclonic jerks are indistinguishable from the jerks you get when you're trying not to strangle the fifth person to suggest wrapping Jordan almonds in tulle as favors.

fuck fuck fuck

@everyone ahh you're all right, i will go.

Science vs. Dinosaurs

I'm going to Sleep No More tonight!!! I'm crazy excited!

orangeyouglad

@Science vs. Dinosaurs I LOVE SLEEP NO MORE. Have you been before?

SarahP

@Science vs. Dinosaurs Have a blast! It's so great. I've been twice and plan to go again.

meetapossum

@Science vs. Dinosaurs Yesssssssss!! You'll love it!

orangeyouglad

@SarahP Did you follow different stories/did you have different experiences? I could talk about this show forever. I was pulled into a one-on-one when I went. It was awesome.

meetapossum

@orangeyouglad I know you didn't ask me, but I've been four times and the third time I went I got a 1-on-1 with the male nurse. I saw scenes the fourth time I missed the other three times! I've also had Duncan whisper in my ear.

Ahhh, really, it's just the best. Now they have the new roof bar and I want to go again.

orangeyouglad

@meetapossum AH I NEED TO GO AGAIN RIGHT NOW. I had a 1-on-1 with someone I can't identify! She clearly wasn't part of the Macbeth plotline, but rather the "Rebecca" part of it all, I think. I got pulled into a closet, she gave me a locket, and pushed me out the closet where I ended up somewhere else entirely. I can't wait for this company to put on another production.

SarahP

@orangeyouglad Yesssss last time I got pulled into a closet with Banquo *swoon* The first time I saw it was when it was here in Boston, and I followed a lot of actors that time, so when I went to New York last time I was into exploring how different the set was.

Science vs. Dinosaurs

@meetapossum I've never been before, and I cannot wait! I hope someone pulls me in for a 1-on-1

meetapossum

@orangeyouglad Sounds like Agnes Naismith who is the Second Mrs. DeWinter in the New York show. I've been dying for her 1-on-1, but I always miss it.

@SarahP Ahhhhhhh Banquo! So dreamy! One of the first scenes I saw was his duet/solo in the closet with Macbeth and I melted. I try to follow him, but he is SO FAST.

frigwiggin

@Science vs. Dinosaurs Whoaaaa, I'd never heard of this and just reading about it makes me a little dizzy. It sounds fun but also scary! (Maybe I just feel intimidated by the idea of being under one's own power during the show? Like I would be scared of missing important stuff and just getting confused. I have obviously not been to much experimental theatre.)

PomoFrannyGlass

Any current or former Bostonian 'Pinners listening to WFNX today? I grew up on this shit and its demise is killing me, although the programming has been better this week than it has been in years (sorry programming director! I know you are awesome!).

Apparently this is the week when all music gives me emotional flashbacks to adolescence (per earlier mixtape comments). For example right now they are playing Belly.

orangeyouglad

@PomoFrannyGlass Plus Oldies 103.3 went off the air! To make room for AMP 103.3 (barf).

PomoFrannyGlass

@orangeyouglad I heard that! And was like, but what will I listen to in the car with my mom when I visit this weekend? I mean, it all makes me sad--94.5 and 104.1, too. But 101.7 definitely makes me the saddest.

orangeyouglad

@PomoFrannyGlass Yes! 103.3 will always make me think of my mom.

Bittersweet

@PomoFrannyGlass I know, so sad, though you're right that the music this week has been awesome. I heard "Punk Rock Girl" yesterday, whoo hoo!

PomoFrannyGlass

@Bittersweet Me too! Love that one - when I was a bahtendah in Cambridge, all the regulahs used to sing along when that one came on the jukebox. Ah, nostalgia. Glad I'm getting on a northbound bus in an hour.

iceberg

One of the MANY random people who ask to take their photo when we're out & about posted a photo of my triplets to Facebook, and turned out to be a friend of a Facebook friend of mine who was like "aren't those iceberg's triplets?"

We are ALWAYS the interesting people someone else has met.

thebestjasmine

@iceberg Hahaha. If it makes you feel any better (or more normal) I adore my good friend's little kids so much that I show their pictures to all sorts of people, and she once met people and after saying something about her kids they were like "Oh, you know Jasmine! She's shown me pictures of your kids!" So maybe it's just that your kids are that awesome.

Mingus_Thurber

I am on day 2 of five days off in a row, which is good for my mental health. Like, good in ways you cannot even imagine good. I'm trying to decide whether to go to a coworker's bridal shower/bachelorette party tomorrow night.

Pros: I can complain about how incredibly clinically unsuited for her job our boss is ("All vasoactive drugs are the same," brings a Doppler machine when asked for a rapid infuser, etc.); hang out and have tapas with people I like; wear a pretty dress.

Cons: An hour's drive to Dallas, which I hate; 104 is the projected high for tomorrow; I would have to sit around with people I work with, thus causing a probable recurrance of stupid-boss-related work stress.

Seriously, you guys? I was put in such a horrible position this week by her flat-out ignorance and apparent not-caring about patient safety and my license that I'm not sure I can face her next week. Not only is she not qualified to run a CCU, but she's a passive-aggressive little shit.

And now I must stop and think about what to get at the farmer's market tomorrow, lest I start a work-related rant that would bore everyone and be full of obscure acronyms.

TheLetterL

@Mingus_Thurber You know, it looks like all the "Pros" on your list could still happen without driving an hour (ugh) to a bridal shower (ugh) with co-workers that could ruin your vacation vibe (ugh). Unless there are social obligation reasons to show up, I'd say...eh.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

Pimple. Right on the tip of my nose. Like I'm 16 all over again, but only in the worst aspect. Makes me want to die, etc.

sarah girl

@josiahg Paint it brown, pretend it's a freckle?

orangeyouglad

@josiahg Does it hurt? I want to die when I get really bad pimples because I also have grey hairs now!!! Shouldn't it be one or the other??

punkahontas

@orangeyouglad Sadly, no. Even when you start to get "fine lines" you can still get zits.

olivebee

@Sarah H. I have an adorable little mole right above my upper lip (the spot that people get Monroe piercings), but it is the same color as my skin, and in my life I have debated many times to color it brown with eyeliner to make it more noticeable. Then I realized people would be like, "hi, new mole?" Also: rain, sweat, crying, etc.

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@orangeyouglad
I get a gray hair about once a month. I pull it out, then, I'm good for weeks! Then I think to myself: "those fuckers have learned not to mess with me and won't be back!"

#nottrue

MilesofMountains

I am working for the week out of a remote mining camp, so I've met loads of new people. My assistant is the best! He's from really far north, so when we got to an area with shoulder-high willow trees he looked around and said, completely seriously, "all these trees, I feel like I'm in the big city!". The work itself is proving hugely frustrating, but at least I have good company.

Queen of Pickles

This week - hung out with awesome lady coworkers. We made dinner at one of their apartments, and it was really fun!

Also, I may or may not have eaten Ben & Jerry's and watched The Little Mermaid at the same time last night.

And today my libido has been so crazy. SO NUTS. It wants me to just find a dude & shag him! But libido, there are these things called Feelings that happen, and Crying!

rallisaurus

I got a job offer this week totally out of the blue from this place I worked at last summer and hated with a fiery passion. I was sooooo tempted to just take the money and suffer for a year. But wiser people recommended that I use the job offer as leverage to get a raise (long overdue) at my current job. So I tried the leverage thing and I should hear something on Monday. And if I get a raise I can finally get an iPhone and a kitty!

Also, I am making ice cream this weekend. Roasted Strawberry Buttermilk for the boyfriend, Kona Stout for meeeeee. Though I will eat ALL THE ICE CREAM. As long as it's not mint or peanut butter.

rackles

Does anyone have some advice for serving caviar on a budget?

ReginaSavage

@rackles Go for quality over quantity, and try to get as fresh as possible.

oh well never mind

@rackles Make blinis or something to eke it out a bit?

quinoamuffin

Hi 'Pinners! I'm a long time lurking finally taking the plunge! Aaaand using my first post to shamelessly solicit advice: I will be roaming the US West Coast for the month of September and I am WIDE OPEN to suggestions, ideas, anything. I've never been to West Coast before so I would love to get some input from locals and fellow travelers on what not to miss. I'm keeping my plans flexible but I will definitley be staying in Seattle, Portland, Oakland and LA but if anyone has hostel or couchsurf recommendations along the coast I would love to hear them! I've never traveled alone before and I'm SO excited!!!

billie_crusoe

@quinoamuffin Check out the lighthouse hostels south of SF! I wanted to stay in one last trip, but they were already booked - so you should book now if you want to stay a night. I think they were something like $26 for the dorms, which is maybe slightly expensive for a hostel? but very cool. And the other SF IH hostels are very clean and nice. The bay area is all food, all the time, when I visit (and also when I lived there). So much good food on the whole west coast. Have fun!

quinoamuffin

@billie_crusoe Ahh staying in a lighthouse would be sick, I'll check it out! Yea, food and ocean vistas are arguably my two greatest pleasures in life so I'm very much looking forward to od'ing on both. Thanks for the rec!

boysplz

@quinoamuffin Go to the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose if you can, it's a trip. Also If you're driving through central California Hearst Castle is super beautiful to visit.

crocuta

@quinoamuffin The Pigeon Point hostel (I'm assuming that's what billie_crusoe is talking about) is wonderful! I also really love Big Sur- it's maybe my favorite place on the California Coast.

quinoamuffin

@boysplz Yes, the Hearst Castle is on my list. My old german professor was weirdly fanatical about it so I've always been curious to see it.

@crocuta The Pigeon Point looks incredible AND available around when I'll be in the Bay Area. And I will definitely check out Big Sur- I plan on driving down to LA on route 1 :)

crocuta

@quinoamuffin If you're driving down that way, here's a couple other possible places to stop between SF and Big Sur in roughly north to south order:
1) Harley Farms - Dairy goat farm with cute goats, delicious cheese, tours, etc.
2) Ano Nuevo - Elephant seal paradise! There aren't many in the summer, but check the park website to see who arrives when.
3) Swanton Berry Farm - Organic strawberries, cheesecake, lemonade...
4) Santa Cruz - Fun beach town with a variety of things to do/places to stay.
5) Elkhorn Slough - Rent a kayak and you'l be able to see lots of seals, sea lions, sea otters, and birds.
6) Henry Miller Library - There are sometimes cool concerts/events here, too.

quinoamuffin

@crocuta oh man this is glorious. THANK YOU! I'm all about small farms (I'm trying to wwoof a bit sometime on this trip). So yeah this is hitting it on the nose.

Tulletilsynet

I didn't meet anybody interesting but I'm moving tomorrow so it would have been awkward.

VDRE

The summer med student in my lab is pretty much ruining my life. I've been hand holding her through experiments all month and she has a poster due next week (based on ONE MONTH worth of experiments) and she has no time management so I said that I could come in on the weekend to move her experiment along because she's going out of town this weekend (!!!) but that was based on the assumption that she could get her shit done today. And she can't because her flight is in like 3 hours and even though she came in early this morning she couldn't get her shit together enough to start running her gel until now. How has it taken her 4 hours to set up this gel? Anyway so in conclusion I'm going to have to stay in lab late because she needs to catch a flight to California.

Fiddle dee dee

@VDRE

Grrrrrrr.

JadedStone

I am addicted to advice columns (love you hairpin) and only today discovered dearcoquette.com

Good lord what else have I missed??

PomoFrannyGlass

@Jade OH MY GOD, thank you for that!

lalaland

@Jade Holy crap. That is amazing.

Beaker

I met a British postdoc who works 12-13 hours EVERY DAY and "isn't really a lunch person" (?!?). So he works ALL DAY with no food.

At least he understand that I need a lunch break, and we both love Kanye West, so I think our collaboration will go just fine.

celeec4@twitter

@Beaker omgwtf? Come hell or high water, I WILL have my lunch break. That, or become a complete horror to share space with in lab as my blood sugar plummets at 4:30pm.

HOW?

phipsi

@Beaker My old boss was like that, and if we were working on a project together my boss assumed I was like that too. We'd be meeting or discussing something and it would get to be 2 p.m. and I'd start to get food-ragey. Eventually I just learned I had to excuse myself to go eat lest I start to destroy things.

(Anecdote: once a co-worker forgot to do something before he left, saying that he left in a hurry because he was hungry and had worked very long day. Next day boss brings in a loaf of bread. For the hunger? To get us to stay at work longer, I guess? (p.s. there was only one day with bread))

celeec4@twitter

@phipsi I had a boss like that too, once upon a time. Actually, I got told off for running protein gels on low so I could run home and EAT DINNER.

...there are many reasons why I speak of this in the past tense. >_<

phipsi

@celeec4@twitter haha IS YOUR OLD BOSS MY OLD BOSS?!?!

Let's not talk about the time there was an impending blizzard and I was in the middle of something: "hey, so if the busses stop running, I'm stuck here doing experiments"... boss: "uh, well I'm outta here before the roads get bad!"

celeec4@twitter

@phipsi OHMYGOD, there was this time an ice storm shut down the city, and me, being the dumbass I am, walked to work so I could feed my cell lines. Only to find my boss and my immediate senior scientist supervisor there, and got trapped there working/discussing things. Then I had to walk home as the sun was inching its way down. X_X

bot
bot

Pinners! Please help me find the correct brunch place in Chicago for my guy. I want to take him for a great birthday brunch tomorrow. Things that would make it great (1) near public transportation in an interesting neighborhood (so it can be lunch + an outing, since we are new in town); (2) awesome food (duh); (3) very unlikely to have to wait in line (regardless of how good the food ultimately is, waiting in line will ruin the fun for him). It would be best if it wasn't super expensive, and if they served booze (obviously).

olivebee

@bot Marmalade!!! It's my husband and my favorite brunch place. Best (and most unique) menu ever. It's right off the brown line (like one and a half blocks) and you can explore Lincoln Square afterward. I've gone on weekends between 9-11 before, and I have never waited in a line.

PistolPackinMama

@bot Kitschin on Roscoe. The Lucky Platter in Evanston, 1 mi outside Chicago city limits.

mackymoo

@bot We really Yolk but it can have a crowd on the weekends. There are three locations around the Loop. Also have heard good things about Toast (also multiple locations). Logan Square has Jam and Lula Cafe which are supposed to be good but not always my style.

Xanthophyllippa

@bot I have a friend who practically lives at the Marion Street Cheese Market.

whimsy

@bot
I hate to say it, but finding a brunch place without a line on saturday in Chicago is a little bit of a crapshoot, however, I will say that if you can make it before 10 you have a much better shot...
I would recommend Andersonville area because there are multiple good brunch spots like M Henry, Heaven on Seven, Anne Sather and the Bongo Room.....

The Lady of Shalott

@bot If you go to Yolk you can get CINNAMON ROLL FRENCH TOAST. And the world's most delicious Mexican scrambler, full of salsa and peppers and chorizo and cheese and delicious stuff.

liverwortlaura

@bot M. Henry M. Henry M. Henry! there WILL be a line, but you can try to make a reservation, and clark street is so fun to walk/browse

allofthecrafts

CRAFTY PINNERS: I'm trying to dye a skirt black. This skirt!

http://www.asos.com/ASOS-Curve/ASOS-CURVE-Exclusive-Skirt-With-Peplum-Waist/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=2048608&SearchQuery=peplum&Rf959=3266&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Mint

(sorry for how I don't know how to make that a little concise link)
So I have that skirt in the minty greeny blue color. I tried to dye it black using the instructions on the Rit dye box, and now it's just dark blue. Can I fix it? Can I re-dye it? I just really want a cool black peplum skirt. Haaaalp me.

queenieliz

@allofthecrafts your skirt is made of a cotton spandex(elastane) blend so you need to take that into consideration when dying it. Synthetics are generally more challenging to dye than naturals. I did a quick search and found this link http://www.pburch.net/dyeing/FAQ/spandex.shtml with some very helpful information! You are going to need to buy a more specialized type of dye (Rit dyes are all purpose and in my experience not very good for anything) Good luck!

Judith Slutler

@allofthecrafts I am not the biggest expert on dyeing things, AT ALL, but maybe just try dyeing it again?

The elastane content in the fabric might be screwing you over though.

allofthecrafts

@queenieliz I figured that since it is 97 percent cotton and 3 percent elastane that it wouldn't make much of a difference, but maybe I was wrong, waaaah. That link looks really helpful though, thanks!

Judith Slutler

@queenieliz uh, do you have an idea of whether or not silk can be dyed? Just wondering.

allofthecrafts

@Emmanuelle Cunt the Rit website says yes!

Judith Slutler

@allofthecrafts OK maybe I need to give this a whirl. It's from the fleamarket and I stained it anyway, so nothing to lose, right?

queenieliz

@Emmanuelle Cunt grr something ate my comment...yes, silk can be dyed. It is an animal fiber (made of protein, like wool and hair) here's a good link www.pburch.net/dyeing/FAQ/silk.shtml Knitters and spinners like to dye wool with unsweetened CoolAid, you can do the same with silk if you want a bright color!

Judith Slutler

@queenieliz Unsweetened Koolaid. Mind blown!

queenieliz

@Emmanuelle Cunt it's the food coloring! You can also branch out into not so bright colors with fancy food coloring from the cake decorating section at Michael's

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

I'm feeling all mushy today because of the news in Colorado, and though I don't know any of you in Real Life (that I know of!), I hope you all stay safe out there. You are all interesting people, and I'm glad to read your thoughts day in and day out. Peace.

redheaded&crazy

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I'm feeling all mushy today just cuz that's the kind of day it is and week it's been and I second all of this.

sovereignann@twitter

I was listening to a podcast which has news covered on one topic from other podcasts and news shows and one of the podcasts covering the Affordable Healthcare Act was This Week in Blackness (which I guess is also a radio show or the radio show is the podcast...still not sure) and it is amazing! Amazing. You guys should totally check it out and then they do another podcast called After Black where they just talk about things in a less structured way. It is something I highly recommend if you enjoy politics.

thebestjasmine

@sovereignann@twitter Yes! It's great! You should follow @elonjames on Twitter, it's his podcast and he's very entertaining.

sovereignann@twitter

@thebestjasmine Ma'am. :) It is my current obsession. I love Elon. That laugh! And Aaron Rand Freeman with his little asides! Really I think I have a crush on all of them! I've been spreading the 10friskcommandments.com to people at work. I just love the energy of that podcast and the openness. I just wish I could listen to it live and be part of the chat room or call in. Totally going to follow him. Yay! Someone else who knows how amazing they are!

errata stigmata

I have a Big Social Event coming up in September and am tryin to decide on a hair color for it. Neon orange, minty green, or...? Rock the vote, y'all.

Scandyhoovian

@errata stigmata omg minty green would probably look super duper cool.

queenieliz

@errata stigmata just wanted to say I love your avatar/user name...and minty green hair sounds amazing.

frigwiggin

@errata stigmata Ooh, what brand of dye are you using?

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@queenieliz second the username, and also request that you post pics of your face/coloring for consideration. Perhaps not here in this open forum, but maybe on the Hairpin Fashion Club?

Xanthophyllippa

@errata stigmata Peacock blue?

Saskquatch

@errata stigmata you said minty, but I pictured aqua-and I loved it. I would also like to suggest looking at your wardrobe to see what colour you wear most, then choosing whatever is opposite that on a colour wheel. No bright colour is a bad colour.

errata stigmata

Thanks for the input everyone! I'm not great with coordinating colors or other fashiony things but I think I'm gonna be doing black and white for Event, with sparkly pink lipstick, so you're probably right: mint green (like an old Studebaker) for the win. Unless that doesn't work with very pale/somewhat yellowish ("ivory"?) skin? I'm at work so I can't post a photo... ack, after years of being a crusty slob I'm trying to polish my look just a tiny bit but am kind of clueless. HOW DO I PRETTY, HAIRPIN.

errata stigmata

@queenieliz thank you, and funny you should mention it! This BSE is actually the Small Press Expo, where I'll be tabling AAAND where BOTH Jaime and Beto Hernandez will be appearing! So now you know why I need to look good(to mitigate the anxious starstruck puking I'll be doing in the nearby trashcans)

Xanthophyllippa

@errata stigmata I CANNOT PRETTY EITHER. :(

queenieliz

@errata stigmata awesome! Jaime Hernandez retweeted my tweet (of an instagram picture I tweeted of a panel from one of his books)! It was a shining moment for me! (I also think he has come into the restaurant where I work, based on my boss retweeting his wife's tweet about eating there!) If you could style your hair just like ES and dye it black and blue that would be amazing, but probably a little TOO fangirl...

errata stigmata

@frigwiggin Manic Panic's Atomic Turquoise, diluted with conditioner, but maybe I need to mix some green in there too? I was going to hit up an old stylist coworker from when I was a shampoo girl for help. Maybe I should just do a gradient, like Atomic Turquoise into Mystic Heather or something... I'll find a way to post pictures once it's done!

Scandyhoovian

The fiance and I are going to look at wedding bands this weekend!! AAHHHH!!

Also, it's my sister's nameday on Saturday and my mom's nameday on Sunday (Finnish tradition, woo!) so we're having CAKEBRUNCH on Sunday morning. Which is brunch, but with a cake included. Best brunch ever.

HeckYes

@Scandyhoovian I suspect that we are going to the same CAKEBRUNCH and that you are, in fact, my boyfriend's sister. Heyo, see ya there.

Scandyhoovian

@HeckYes DUDE THIS IS AWESOME

entangled

@Scandyhoovian So exciting! I actually kind of hate jewelry shopping, but I was really excited to get wedding bands just because of the symbolism.

whateverlolawants

I am at work, so I can't respond very much, but I was wondering what you guys have to say about those religious modesty movements aimed at young girls? For example, Secret Keeper Girl.

*Body-shaming-sexist-religious-nuttery trigger warning* If your shirt raises up when you lift your arms, they warn pre-teen girls (ages 8-12): "Bellies are very intoxicating, and we need to save that for our husband!"

I have a LOT to say about that. But I'll let you guys go ahead of me.

Scandyhoovian

@whateverlolawants Blurgh. This reminds me of a guy I used to know who had very horrifically patriarchal feelings about modesty that he would spout all over the place, namely "your body is a temple but men are programmed to be looking at it so modesty is there to keep the tempting parts for the only person who is supposed to see it, your husband."

Basically "if you show it off you deserve the leering 'cause we menfolk can't stop ourselves doing it" which unsettles me to no end. TO NO END. Personal responsibility, what is it!?

WaityKatie

@whateverlolawants BLEHHHHH!!!! (and also, they have clearly never seen my belly).

allofthecrafts

@whateverlolawants ugh, this. I saw that website in a post on Jezebel (hissss) or somewhere and I basically died. It's so awful and ridiculous -- it's basically "teach your daughter to be ashamed of her body before she even gets to puberty! Then you'll be ahead of the game!" Also, "Bellies are very intoxicating"??? that makes me feel squicky just reading it. That whole sentence. "Our" husband! Ugh.

Judith Slutler

@whateverlolawants Aughghghhghghgh I hate that bullshit so, so much. A bunch of my high school friends were in churches like that and it must've been so stressful for them. I mostly noticed the RAGING SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT that attitude toward sexuality instilled in my male classmates. Ugh.

PistolPackinMama

@whateverlolawants Ugh. Not my favorite thing. Why is it that I was on board all the way with the burqa comments in the Clean Person thread. I mean the comment about veil wearing women not needing my input about them. I was on board with that. But this, I have no trouble saying, my skin is crawling. It's maybe because I am Christian-ish so I am like "wait what no?!" Also victim shaming and blaming.

I guess I answered my own question.

Anyway. My skin is crawling.

In the same way that the BSA thing about No Gay Scouts does, because what the everloving fuck do a bunch of adults think is appropriate about engaging in any way with the sexuality of children under the age of consent in this way?

It's not comfortable making.

TheDragon

@Emmanuelle Cunt
I'm actually broken down at a friend's house now, and she is so sweet for taking me in when my car died on my road trip, but oh my lord. She and her boyfriend have been together for 3 years and have never had sex. My boyfriend and I? Oh it's been a week (today!) and we started out as fuck buddies...
I feel like she's trying her hardest not to judge, but she was horrified when she found out I don't know his number, nor care to.

TheDragon

@Emmanuelle Cunt
I'm actually broken down at a friend's house now, and she is so sweet for taking me in when my car died on my road trip, but oh my lord. She and her boyfriend have been together for 3 years and have never had sex. My boyfriend and I? Oh it's been a week (today!) and we started out as fuck buddies...
I feel like she's trying her hardest not to judge, but she was horrified when she found out I don't know his number, nor care to.

WhiskeySour

It's kind of old news, but have you seen the results of The Modesty Survey? Rage.

PatatasBravas

@whateverlolawants But what about my husband's belly? It's intoxicating too! BELLIES, BELLIES, BELLIES, YAY.

realtalk

@The Kendragon you're my kind of girl, that's all I have to say about that. sex is so fun! what if they end up being totally sexually incompatible???

PatatasBravas

@PatatasBravas Sorry, I'm being flippant because otherwise I'll work myself into a lather of aggravation and patriarchy-smashing, and I just cannot handle this gracefully right now.

TheDragon

@realtalk Exactly. Dude. I don't know my number? I think it's around 20? maybe? Whatever, I don't care.
But yeah she was talking like "I think that moving in together before marriage is wrong and if you don't God will reward you."
I plan on getting married, and I'd like to only be married once. But my thoughts are "Test drive the HELL out of that life before you decide you want it."

Judith Slutler

@The Kendragon AHHHHH. I will never forget the awkwardness of having my friend and her bf visit me at my apartment I was sharing with my boyfriend at the time, when they were on some hardcore "Christian pureness couple workbook" bullshit. They even ruined the mood for US because we didn't want them to hear us fucking while they were chastely lying on the futon in the living room.

Also my boyfriend peeked at their workbook, and, just TRY explaining that shit to a German dude. He did not understand, at all, and was basically just like "but you were never into that, right?"

area@twitter

@whateverlolawants I tried to get into the meat of the organization, but I couldn't even get past the Godawful website design.

PistolPackinMama

@The Kendragon I thought you meant, like, phone number! And I was all, do they just DM each other? I mean, it's cool. But... wow.

Then I realized you meant another kind of number. And you are so right. Who cares? I'm pretty sure God doesn't.

Bellies! Tummytummytummy.

TheDragon

@Emmanuelle Cunt See I am Catholic. I believe in God. But I believe that He is more concerned with me being a good person than with who I'm currently fucking.

OhMarie

@whateverlolawants GROSS. I grew up Catholic and my mom used to say that engaging in any kind of sexualized contact with the opposite sex (making out, that sort of thing) was like idling a car at the edge of a cliff. Where, in this analogy, sex before marriage=plunging to a fiery death.

At least it wasn't so gendered, I guess?

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@whateverlolawants
"Our husband"? Is this, like, for polygamists?!

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama Oh, god. "Tummy" has to be the LEAST sexy word ever. What are we, five?

Tam
Tam

@PistolPackinMama I thought she meant phone number too! I don't even think about that "other numer". Whatever.

TheDragon

@Tam & @PPM

I know! are we still in high school? The only way I care about his number or order is that I'm the last girl he's been with. (And I only care about that if we've committed to each other.)

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

A) Gross.
B) Gross.
C) Fuck everyone who thinks these awful thoughts.
D) Gross!!!!!!!

WaityKatie

@OhMarie The only thing my (Catholic) mother ever said to me about sex (other than "I don't want to talk about that.") was "What business do you have doing 'that' with someone you're not going to marry?" I wasn't "doing that" with anyone at the time anyway, but I just remember thinking, I don't see the logic here...

errata stigmata

man, this kind of shit really sticks in my craw- probably because I REALLY took it to heart as a confused teenager and needed years of therapy to undo it. It just commodifies virginity(and female bodies in particular)in such a creepy way!

PistolPackinMama

@errata stigmata YES THIS. Yes. Oh my. Can't have your chattel out there for everyone to see!

@XP Well, yeah. Bellies isn't much better, though. Nor is abs, or stomach. Not a very sexy set of words. But at least tummy sounds good if you say it three times fast.

@Catholically raised people- my feeling on Holy Mother Church is- she needs to stay out of people's sexual morals until the house is totally cleaned over there in the hierarchy. My mom has started to say recently that she doesn't like to tell people she is Catholic. My feeling on this is it will get to be too much for her and... she'll die Anglican or something.

Bittersweet

@PistolPackinMama et al: Urgh, see this is why it's such a challenge to raise a daughter. On the one hand, you've got this "purity, save yourself, every guy is salivating over you" crap to fight against. On the other hand, you've got the whole "you need to look cool and sexxeeee for the boys, so wear this skimpy tank top and short shorts" coming from the corporate world. The challenge is to ward off both of these toxic ways of thinking, and teach your daughter to love and respect herself, no matter what.

@PistolPackinMama: Tell your mom to come join us in Episcopal-land! There's lots of schisms, but at least no high-level cover-ups of widespread child abuse.

whateverlolawants

@errata stigmata Same here. Not so much the modesty stuff, but the commodification/glorification of virginity and the villainization of sex. That nonsense had me by the throat for years. I still feel some residual guilt, and I hate my religious upbringing for that. I went to a moderate church, too. I can't imagine what it would be like to come from a highly conservative background.

In regards to all of that- yes. You guys covered what I was going to say.

like a rabid squirrel

Are there 'pin-ups happening in Madison, WI? I'm moving there at the end of August to start my PhD and would love to meet some cool people outside my program (though the people in my program seem pretty awesome!) and get to know the area.

Also: Hi, I'm olliegrace, I comment sporadically but am not usually around for the beginning of the open thread. I have a cat (http://tiny.cc/qtfrhw), play the ukulele, and am reallly nervous to move halfway across the country.

orangeyouglad

@olliegrace I love your avatar so much.

like a rabid squirrel

@orangeyouglad Thanks! I grabbed it from here: http://failblog.org/2009/07/23/childrens-dental-aid-fail/ a few years ago to use as my avatar around various sites, and I'm still incapable of looking at it full-size without dissolving into hysterical laughter.

Xanthophyllippa

@olliegrace I'm here! Email me at this username at the gmails and we'll get something organized.

TheUnchosenOne

@olliegrace Madison's great, I think you're gonna love it here.

I'm gonna keep my eye out for a Madison 'Pin-up, because I missed the last one due to... something?

Xanthophyllippa

@TheUnchosenOne Are you in the Pinups Google Group? Because I posted about a last-minute Madison Pinup this week - I was hoping folks would be interested in the Terrace last night - and got no takers.

like a rabid squirrel

@Xanthophyllippa @TheUnchosenOne Awesome! My move is still about a month away (Aug 24) so I'll probably get in touch as it draws closer. I'm also on Google Groups and just now signed up to get the 'Pin-up digest in my e-mail, so I should be a little more clued in.

I've heard wonderful things about Madison, everyone I know who has lived there for any amount of time seems to love it. I'm excited to get to know a new place, as sad as I am to leave everyone I love on the East Coast.

TheUnchosenOne

@Xanthophyllippa I am but only just now? Also Thursday would have been no good anyway, I was seeing The Dark Knight Rises.

Xanthophyllippa

@olliegrace YAY! Okay, we're on for August.

@TheUnchosenOne Ooo, too bad. But if you're up for something before then, lemme know and we can try to organize.

Fiddle dee dee

The friend of a friend DID call me and we went horseback riding early Sunday morning. It was so fun! My horse was really nice and I felt relaxed and confident even though I have not ridden in years (but I used to do so regularly). The downside to not having ridden in years was that after a couple hours the muscles in my legs kinda stopped working. I like the friend of friend, too, and perhaps we will go again when it stops being so awfully hot all the time. Yay!

HeckYes

I had a terrible week, but this weekend will hopefully make it all better.

Tomorrow, I'm volunteering at the local animal shelter snuggling puppies/walking dogs/petting kitties. There is nothing that a sleepy puppy on your lap can't cure.

And Sunday, my boyfriend's lovely mother is having the whole family over for CAKE BRUNCH. Like, her famous cake with berries and whipped cream for brunch (+ eggs and bacon and other brunch things). The best. And then my belly dance class! I am embarrassingly terrible, but it's super fun to shimmy around in a jingly belt among other ladies who range from also-terrible to talented.

I'm quite pleased with my plans.

Scandyhoovian

@HeckYes CAKE BRUNCH! (hahaha sorry, I'm still amused at this hairpinny intersection of lives) Mom's cake is truly the best.

also is that pi in your picture?

HeckYes

@Scandyhoovian Yes of course!! She is the more photogenic of the cats, and I like her ridiculous face in this picture.

CAKE BRUNCH!

Scandyhoovian

@HeckYes Hahaha that's amazing. I don't know how many times I've seen your picture and been like "Wow, that looks like my brother's cat." Little did I know, it WAS my brother's cat all along!

EpWs

@HeckYes CAKE BRUNCH!

lindackerite

Hairpin. Life has been a blur the past couple weeks since I've been traveling and haven't had a decent night's sleep in just as long.

BUT, huge life decision to move back to LA at the end of next month (currently in (and from) Philly, but was on the West Coast from mid-2006 - early 2011). I'm going to miss Philly and my apartment (if you're looking or know someone looking for a studio in Logan Square, let me know -- posted this on the Philly Hairpin facebook group too!) but I'm confident it's the thing to do and work is trying to get me set up to work remotely.

Stressing about the actual move and finding a new apartment there -- but looking forward to meeting up with the LA 'pinners! Since I'll be working from home I'll definitely need to make the effort to get out and meet new people. Also, maybe I will be a makeover candidate now?

queenieliz

Someone needs to invent an 'online dating' site for friends...I am really dissatisfied with my current social circle and don't know how to fix it. And yes 'pin-ups but I am fairly sure that all the local 'pin-up members are about ten years younger than me and it would just be awkward. If I could only put the energy into finding friends that I did into finding a boyfriend (sex energy would be weird though, right?!) UGH!

WhiskeySour

@queenieliz
I was just describing this exact thing to Mr. Sour! It should be like a dating site in that you answer general questions about yourself and then it brings up potential good friend matches. We've moved a lot and it's so hard to meet new friends. And Meetup.org is fine but not that great when you live in an area without much activity of that kind.

Lily Rowan

@queenieliz Most of the people at our local Pinups are 10 years younger than me, and it's not awkward! (I mean, I don't think it is....suddenly am paranoid.) And it's not all of the people, either. I am just saying.

New Commenter Name

@queenieliz
Sympathies and understandings. I am also possibly older. But how do I know really...? We don't normally post our ages here. I've read some comments from younger ladies (early 20's) but I don't think everyone here is the same age.

the little c

@queenieliz I need this! I have lived in NYC for a year as of this Monday, and I have made ... two friends. Not counting my coworkers. And one of those friends moved to San Diego in May. I need New York friends!

realtalk

@queenieliz The pinups in the bay area are full of people from their 20s to their 40s, so give it a shot! Worst case scenario is it's boring and you leave after half an hour.

stuffisthings

@queenieliz Technically OKCupid allows you to look for friends.

In fact, most people I ever met on there I just ended up being friends with.

queenieliz

@Lily Rowan I'm sure I'm just projecting my inner awkwardness..I will go to one one of these days, like @realtalk says, if I'm bored I can leave! But the thing I liked about online dating is the one on one meeting..I don't do so well with crowds, unless I have a point person to rely on..

Lily Rowan

@queenieliz The good news about meeting people off the internet is there is a lot of awkwardness! Which I mean in the best way. And you can just talk to one person and leave! That's fine.

bot
bot

@queenieliz My single friend was all excited about HowAboutWe.com, and was excited for me because there's a section for couples to make friends with other couples (which... I am a little nervous about because I do not want to date/have sex with other couples and also maybe I can just be friends with some people without my partner? but ugh maybe it's better than nothing?)

[This comment is not that helpful. I want to make more friends too. It's hard.]

Sea Ermine

@queenieliz THIS. I just moved to a new city and have no idea how to go about meeting people. And I get discouraged because people always talk about how it's so easy to make friends at my age (early 20s) since you're young and fun and still have college friends except...despite being young and fun I made 0 friends in college (granted I think that had something to do with my school, I'm not sure if I would have had this problem at any other university) so now I feel like I've failed somehow.

queenieliz

@all. Thanks for making me feel like not a total weirdo for having a hard time making friends. I need to get over myself and just "get our there" and will really try to go to next 'pin-up opportunity. Even if they're a buncha 20something college kids! @bot, that site looks interesting, but my BF has too many friends already. He's Mister Popular somehow. Unfortunatly I usually just glom onto him and let him do all the talking when we go out, so I kinda need to do it in my own.

baked bean

@Sea Ermine I, too, have had trouble finding friends in college. I'm getting ready to start my 4th year and maybe, maybe, just now meeting some people that might be "the ones," but one of them has already graduated and will be moving soon. I think it's just the town I am in. Not very conducive to my ideal social situations, like good food, good drinks, and good conversation. Just bro parties and trashy bars. And all the "cool" kids I had friend crushes on never got anywhere :(

@queenieliz As an early 20something, I enjoy having friends of all ages, esp in the ~10 years older range, as they are full of advice :)

wharrgarbl

Post your blogs, google groups, pinterests, tumblrs, etc., folks!

Html for links is [a href="http://stuckinabucket.tumblr.com"]this is me[/a], only with <>s instead of []s, and remember--editing your post breaks your html.

Judith Slutler

@wharrgarbl ahem, there is already one of those up thataway

wharrgarbl

@Emmanuelle Cunt Whoops! Never mind, guys!

ETA: This is what happens when you ctrl+F "tumbler."

klemay

I had a really awkward (but kind of hilarious) encounter with a guy last week, but I kind of want to see him again. I don't think he'd get in touch with me, because of how weird things were, but I want to give it another go!

I know I have to grow a pair of ovaries and ask him out for drinks, but whenever I'm the one pursuing a guy I always (weirdly, probably incorrectly) feel like I'm way more into it than he is, because wouldn't he be putting in more effort? etc.

Blarg.

billie_crusoe

@klemay Ask him out! Maybe he's just embarrassed and/or still feeling awkward, and then you can start dating and laugh about how awkward it was.

Also, tell us the hilarious awkwardness?

PistolPackinMama

@klemay DOOOOOO EEEEEET! Then report back.

klemay

@billie_crusoe All I'm going to say is that he said something really awkward mid-coitus and we had to stop because I was uncontrollably laughing.

And then when we parted ways so I could go to the deli next to my building, we had this gem of a dialogue:

Me: "Okay, I'm going to stop in here for a bagel and some coffee!"
Him: "Okay. I'm gonna... go home now..." [slowly walks away]

WHAT?!

I'm holding back further details, because I want to propose a piece here where I make a list of weird things guys have said to me during/about hooking up. Because man, I have a lot of them, and they are WEIRD.

ayo nicole

@klemay Ask him ooooooooooout.

billie_crusoe

@klemay Definitely ask him out, since he was the awkward one. I do awkward things and then get embarrassed and self-conscious. Maybe he's embarrassed and self-conscious.

klemay

@billie_crusoe Ok, I'm going to text him after work. Thanks, hairpinners! I think I just needed little kick in the ass. I'll report back in next week's open thread!

New Commenter Name

@klemay text him TEXXXXXXT HIMMMMMM
Clearly he would want to see you again but is too embarrassed to contact you. Don't wait until next week to update us! What in the world?? Tell us immediately.

and your dialog is cracking me up! That's why I know he wants to see you again, he didn't know what to do when you went in for the bagel, he walked away slowly... hoping you might try to stop him? and invite him to have a bagel with you perhaps...?

PistolPackinMama

@klemay This is The Most Endearing Thing.

TheDragon

I was supposed to be arriving at my parent's house in montana today. Instead I'm broken down in Albuquerque. :/

Fiddle dee dee

@The Kendragon Oh, foo.

I thought of you last week- in preparation for riding I went out and bought some Justin cowgirl boots. I love them very much. I want to wear them all the time even though it is 90-something degrees out there.

frigwiggin

@The Kendragon Ugh, that sucks! I've only had a breakdown one time and that was when my brother and I were on the way to visit my dad in Mexico, and we'd JUST crossed the border so they towed us to the Mexican side of Nogales, and we spent three days there waiting at the dealership for the car to be fixed and eating snacks out of a vending machine because we were too nervous and wound-up to walk far enough to buy real food. Uhh, anyway. I hope your ride gets fixed soon.

TheDragon

@Fiddle dee dee I like Justins! Wear them with EVERYTHING. I'm currently sitting at a gymnastics gym with friends (Hey. At least I broke down in my high school town!) in running shorts and boots. I think I look like a hung over cowgirl. In related news: I'm a hung over cowgirl.
I saw that riding was fun! I am so glad that she called you back, and you had fun. Horses are the best!

TheDragon

@frigwiggin Oh man! Yeah I broke down in the town I went to high school in, so my friend is taking me in and I'm doing good.

Inkling

@The Kendragon
Hey! I don't mean to thread-jack, but I wanted to thank you for your advice last week.
Someone hooted at me and I threw a rock at their front passenger door and it hit right where I wanted it to! Ad they drove away swearing and then I found a prettier rock! I feel like a superhero and next time I'll aim for glass. <3

TheDragon

@Inkling YAY! Rocks ALL around. It's amazing how much better you feel, huh?

Inkling

@The Kendragon
Got another one! I think I'll practice more than one rock at a time now.

TheDragon

@Inkling Haha we should make this a competitive sport!

hotdog

@Inkling WHAT? This is a terrible idea. You can legitimately get arrested for vandalism: not worth it.

Melissa MacPherson@facebook

Chicago Hairpinners!

My husband and I are heading to Chicago for the first time over the Civic Holiday weekend (Aug 2-5). Does anyone know if there are any cool festivals or museum exhibits happening? We're also looking for vegan friendly restaurant/bar suggestions. We know about the Chicago Diner and Native Foods. Stuff near the University of Chicago would be helpful since we will be relying on public transit. Thanks for the help! I'm really excited for the trip!

Lily Rowan

@Melissa MacPherson@facebook I heard there's going to be a vegan grill party in Pilsen on the 5th! (See below.....)

New Commenter Name

@Melissa MacPherson@facebook
Isn't that the weekend of Lollapalooza?

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@Lily Rowan
Ha! What a coincidence!

@Melissa MacPherson@facebook
Seriously, if you can make it, you should! I realize Pilsen is kind of a haul from Hyde Park on the train BUT about half of the people I've met at Chicago 'Pin-Ups have something to do with U of C, and my wife C. is a student there, too.

Melissa MacPherson@facebook

@Curiouser and curiouser Apparently it is, but it's sold out. :(

@josiahg man, a vegan grill party would be amazing, but we have to catch our train back home midafternoon on Sunday. thanks for the invite!

bot
bot

@Melissa MacPherson@facebook There's the whole series of Karyn restaurants - Karyn's Raw, Karyn's Cooked, and I swear there's a third. I haven't actually been to any of them but I've heard they're good (from my raw vegan dad).

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

CHICAGO 'PIN-UPS

I am bossy and always have a great time meeting other 'Pinners, so I will take it on myself to continue to promote these:

- Newberry Book Fair Friday, July 27th after work & then adjourning to a bar near by.

- Vegan Grill Party, Sunday, August 5th, hosted by C. and me in our backyard in Pilsen. RSVP over on the Google Groups.

KeLynn

Guys, I think I have run out of feelings. I keep reading these books that people gush and gush about, and then I finish them and think "uh....was I supposed to care about that book?" I seriously can't remember the last time a book made me FEEL FEELINGS other than the Chronicles of Narnia, which I am re-reading in between reading other new books. And I'm still trying to figure out if I'm actually feelings those feelings, or if I'm just remembering how they made me feel when I was younger.

I feel less feelings in my general life the past few years too, but I suspect part of that is just the whole settling down with a full time job and a house and a long term boyfriend lifestyle? I hope that's it, and I just feel less feelings because my life is being shaken up less, but I'm kind of worried that I'm dead inside.

WhiskeySour

@KeLynn
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It could be totally normal, yes. But feeling that way can be a sign of depression (I get that way when I've been in a depressive episode.) It sounds like on some level you miss those emotions, and your saying you feel "dead inside" make me feel concerned. If you are able to, it could be good to contact a therapist.

JadedStone

@KeLynn What about http://www.givesmehope.com/

CAUSE FOR REAL THAT SHIT MAKES ME CRY BUCKETS.

runner in the garden

@KeLynn - maybe time to shake up your life a bit and do something new/exciting/scary/you've always wanted to do? Settling down doesn't mean the end of crazy new experiences, or at least that's what they tell me and I hope they're right.

frigwiggin

@Jade Aw crap aw crap here come the weeps. Some of them are cheesy but ahhhhh weeps.

KeLynn

@everybody - ah! I made this post and then just never came back. I wasn't ignoring you intentionally. When I posted I wasn't thinking about how I was hours away from a weekend mini-vacation with no phone/internet service.

I think my post sounded more dramatic than I meant to. When I talked about feeling dead inside I didn't mean to say that I'm depressed. I don't think that's it. Have you guys heard the Avett Brothers' song Tin Man? That's kind of what I was trying to say (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWON5gLLiGo). I'm generally happy with my life, I just don't feel the highs and the lows as intensely, or as often, as I once did. And I do miss it. But I think/hope it's part of the totally-normal-but-kind-of-boring life I have right now, and not that I as a person am changing and my actual self is becoming harder/colder/less emotional.

mystique

I hate it when you know you SHOULDN'T do something based on social schema -- you do it anyway, but then you know you shouldn't have done it, so you can't forgive yourself. Like snapping at someone, or forgetting something, or pushing someone away. And you can forgive other people for doing it, but it seems so much harder when it's you.

Audley

@mystique I am also a chronically guilty person. I just try really hard to distract myself until it sort of fades away. It doesn't always work as quickly as I'd like, but it works eventually.

Lily Rowan

I am a hot fucking mess this week, you guys. I'm moving in two weeks, my cat is not well, there's some stuff at work, blah blah blah -- BUT! I have a massage scheduled for tomorrow! So that's good.

the little c

I didn't meet anybody interesting but I saw someone I had already met. I was walking down the street eating a piece of pizza, and she was walking the other direction, and we locked eyes because I think (hope) she recognized me, and we just kept staring at each other as we walked past each other. Did I mention I had the pizza in my mouth , mid-bite, as this was happening? And that finally, after she had already passed me, she said "....hi" in this really awkward tone because I was just staring at her with a piece of pizza hanging out of my mouth?

So. Embarrassing.

frigwiggin

@the little c

This (sort of) happened to me the other day! I was eating lunch with some coworkers, and this older guy who I don't know and who doesn't know me came up and patted me on the shoulder and was like, "I'm disappointed!" And I looked up at him with this curly fry tangle in my mouth with a blank stare, because I had no idea what to say. He laughed and said, "Your hair is usually so exciting!" And then he walked off, chuckling. Then I realized he's a regular at this lunch area and has probably seen me before with brightly-dyed hair (it's my natural color right now), and decided to say something. And my coworkers started laughing at me because I still had the fry in my mouth.

the little c

@frigwiggin
It was even worse because right after we passed each other (still within earshot of her), I yelled "WHO IS THAT WOMAN, I KNOW HER". With pizza in my mouth.

meetapossum

@frigwiggin I assume you looked like this guy.

frigwiggin

@meetapossum You may be (sort of) (extremely) correct.

Danzig!

Give me good crock pot recipes! I'm lazy as hell, plus it's too goddamned hot to cook things on a real-ass stove

Also, Throwing Shade: a good podcast

kate.m

@Danzig! 1. At first I misread your request and thought you were asking for hot pocket recipes and now I'm a little disappointed.

2. I make a super-delicious crock pot chili like so:

1 onion, diced
2 carrots, chopped
2+ cloves garlic, minced
1 jalapeno pepper, de-seeded and chopped
1 lb pork tenderloin, chopped up into 1/2-inch bits
1 lb ground turkey thigh meat (or whatever ground meat)
3 cans beans (black, kidney, pinto was my combo, but use whatever you've got)
1 15-oz can tomato puree
1 28-oz can stewed tomatoes
1 little can tomato paste
1 cup chicken broth or whatever broth
1 Tbsp chili powder
1 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp salt

Mix it up, turn it on, leave it for like 8 hours.

boysplz

@Danzig! Taco Soup! Brown a pound of meat (turkey, beef, whatever you like) then mix it with two cans of any kind of bean you like (drained) a can of corn a can to diced tomatoes and a can of Rotel if you can get it. (You can probably use a can of diced chilies if you can't find Rotel but that stuff is magical) Then mix in a packet of taco seasoning and packet of ranch dressing mix. Cook it on low for 8 hours. You can make it veg by using 3 cans of beans or vegan if you don't use ranch dressing mix. Eat it over/under/all mixed up with Fritos.

frigwiggin

@Danzig! This isn't a meal recipe, but this crockpot chai recipe is deeeelicious. I've made it at least three times! Plus it makes your house smell fantastic.

HeckYes

@Danzig! My favorite thing to cook in a crockpot is pulled chicken. Put a regular-sized package of chicken (1-2lbs of boneless or bone-in breasts, thighs, drumsticks, whatever) into the crockpot, cover it in BBQ sauce from a bottle, add a lil brown sugar or a bit of vinegar or some spices if you are feeling fancy, put the top on and cook it on low for 6 hours or so. Then shred or chop and eat on buns or on BBQ chicken pizza or by itself or however you feel like!

twocats

@HeckYes And I would recommend pulled pork! Cut up a pork shoulder into chunks and cover in the crock pot with cola and barbecue sauce. Cook for 6-8 hours and then shred with a spoon. It is delicious.

Sea Ermine

@Danzig! The best crockpot pork:

1 pork tenderloin

Mixture:
1 small clove of garlic
4tbs Dijon mustard
2tbs honey
2tbs brown sugar
1 tbs cider vinegar or balsamic vinegar (apple cider vinegar is the best of the two)
1/2 tsp thyme

Trim pork sprinkle with salt and pepper
Pour mixture over pork turn pork to coat thoroughly (do this in the crockpot so that any sauce that slide of sits at the bottom under the pork while it cooks

Cover and cook on LOW for 7 to 9 hours, or on HIGH for 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 hours (these numbers are for 2 pork tenderloins...I find mine is done on high in like 2 hours or a little less. Not so sure about on low, never tried it)
Remove pork to a plate, cover with foil, and keep warm. Make sure that the pork is done by slicing on top it should be brown and fall apart nicely.
Serve with cous cous.

Danzig!

@All yes yessssss these will definitely be a thing

akrupnik

Hi everyone,
This week, the person I thought I was going to stay with forever broke up with me. I've been faithfully following the Hairpin breakup advice, complete with Xanax prescription and gold stars, but any other advice would be so so helpful. Also, I was wondering if anyone could shed a little light on the situation: we were together for six months, he was 100% into me for the first several months. The whole shebang. He took me away for my birthday weekend, and I finally started letting my guard down a little and really trusting him. Barely four weeks later, he was out the door. My guys friends are telling me that it's a classic case of him freaking out when shit got real, but nevertheless, I'm totally devastated. Has this particular sequence of events happened to any of you? How did it end up?

RNL
RNL

@akrupnik I have no helpful insight to offer, but I'm so sorry that happened. Good courage to you! Break ups are terrible.

Danzig!

@akrupnik Sorry to hear that, dude. That totally happens all the time, for no good reason. People are capricious!

sophia_h

@akrupnik He might have been scared of his feelings; he also might have realized that things were getting serious and he didn't feel the same as you and wanted to leave before you got hurt worse. I have found, in situations where your thoughts don't make a difference (ie it won't make him change his mind) that the best way to handle something upsetting is to decide what story works the best for you, and then decide to believe it. Now, if you have a string of similar breakups you might want to examine that closer, but in this case, tell yourself whatever works, hurts the least, and makes it easier to move on. If you want to hate him for being a coward, do that. If you want to decide he never really liked you that much anyhow, and you're better off, then believe that. We really have a lot of control over our own brains if we exercise it, and everything is relative anyhow. Who cares what was going on in his head? Take care of yourself and, as you probably know, the passing of time is pretty much the only cure. *hugs* (also sorry if this comment disappears, Hairpin eats all my comments now.)

PistolPackinMama

@akrupnik Yes, it has. How is it the minute my ice queen heart starts to melt, wham, they are gone?

No advice, you sound like you r doin' it rite. Just... it sucks.

Oh. Gin. And new shoes. There is that advice.

<3

Lustful Cockmonster

@akrupnik This has happened to me and it was terrible. It was awhile ago, and I just got really sad and lost 15 pounds, so I am not sure I am the person to give advice. OH! But it was around Christmas time and I returned all his presents and bought leather pants, so that was actually pretty awesome. Buy yourself something for sure.

I remember that feeling so vividly. It sucks and I'm sorry. All the hugs.

As for how it ended up. we tried it again about a year later. It was short lived...You will be okay, I promise, but it will probably suck for awhile.

redheaded&crazy

@akrupnik ugh breakups are truly the worst. you seem to be coping well so i don't want this advice to come off as patronizing or whatever if you're not in this place, but i would say. be kind to yourself! forgive yourself for being sad. let yourself cry. allow yourself to be upset. etc etc.

I really beat myself up for shit like that so. Don't be like me!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@akrupnik Hello, Anastasia! We've been talking about you lately!

adorable-eggplant

@akrupnik Sounds like you've got this under wraps, but here are some of the things I do: cut my own hair. This is very nice and kind of like the buy yourself something nice option, but when you're really broke.

Listen to my jamz. My favorite breakup songs are ones that are totally unrelated to my circumstances (because ones that do remind me of my situation are usually too painful): so 'Don't Bother' by Shakira and 'Irreplaceable' by Beyoncé are my go to ones, unless my dude is driving around in a car that I bought him and then visiting other ladies or if I were to be left for someone who speaks perfect french and practices tai chi. Those scenarios haven't happened yet, but I'll be really sad (and totally unprepared) if they do.

Inkling

@akrupnik
I'm so sorry! That sounds really confusing and terrible.
I like reading bad date stories during a breakup. They make me feel hugely better and are a humorous distraction. If you feel this is applicable:

abadcaseofthedates.com
myveryworstdate.com
okcenemies.com
yoshouldidumpthisasshole.com

Also, seconding Adorable-Eggplant. Angry/chipper breakup songs (Hate Myself for Loving You, Goody Two Shoes, Letting Go) are really where it's at. I hope you feel better soon. That guy sounds like he turned into a poooophead for real.

(...And really, did it get too serious after you began feeling comfortable with him? Maybe he only has a boner for people who feel ambivalent about relationships. Good luck with that preference, skipper.)

OH also! if you can, donating to a charity is pretty sweet, especially ones that send you follow-ups. I donated a flock of chickens through Heifer and they were really nice, sent me info on the person who got them, have a big website with lots of pictures to look through, etc. It makes you feel useful and needed while making your grief seem smaller.

adorable-eggplant

@Inkling Angry/chipper is exactly the right mix for me. Here's Ted Leo singing a cover of 'Since U Been Gone' (with a little bit of 'Maps' in the middle): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBr5FPIL8UU Really anything that can be sung along with at an obnoxiously loud volume.

And Heifer is great! I got someone a goat! You can also get trees, if you're a vegetarian and uncomfortable with the idea of getting someone animals to eat. Check out Unbowed: A Memoir by Wangari Maathai for a discussion on the tree issue.

Anyhow, yes lots of feisty songs, also maybe a memoir of an independent lady. Godspeed. :)

EternalFootwoman

Hello, my name is EternalFootwoman, and I am a terrible person. So, theater shooting in CO. Very sad. But I don't have the emotional reaction everyone I know seems to be having. It's the same anytime there is some large-scale violent act. I feel bad in a general human way. But I don't feel any worse than I do for people who are in car accidents, are individual victims of gun violence, have cancer, or any of the myriad other painful and tragic ways people die. I don't know anyone who was in the theater. I don't know anyone who knows anyone who was in the theater. I've never been to CO. So I'm not really having an emotional reaction to what happened. I feel like everyone else is crying about it and feeling sickened at the tragedy. Am I a terrible person? And whether I am or not, can someone explain why the deaths of strangers from far away makes some people grieve? I legit want to know.

noodge

@EternalFootwoman you're not terrible... my emotional reaction varies for any number of reasons. i'm not especially tore up by the CO shooting, but I have been at other stuff. so, I think it's just human nature to feel a variety of ways for a variety of things, aka: we're all unique snowflakes.
don't beat yerself up!

sarah girl

@EternalFootwoman You're not terrible, you're entitled to your own reactions and feelings. I think as long as you're not putting down people who do react strongly (and not saying you are!), you're 100% fine.

phipsi

@EternalFootwoman I, personally, have to distance myself from a lot of the media coverage of events like these because I tend to get 1. Very Ragey and then 2. Very Freaked Out. I mean, the whole point of terrorism is to make it so that we are all dealing with constant anxiety and fear in our daily lives. I feel really, really bad about what happened - but you're right, more people probably die in traffic accidents in the US on a daily basis (again, tragic and awful). And if I dwell on stuff like this too long then it starts affecting my ability to live my own life in a sane manner.

billie_crusoe

@EternalFootwoman You're not a terrible person, or we're terrible together. I feel the same way. I mean, I recognize that it's awful, and I feel really bad for everyone involved. But I don't feel compelled to watch the news about it, and I'm not having a huge emotional response to it. I don't deal with other people's grief well, anyway, though.

I think my subconscious is just selective about what it lets me get upset about because I am generally super sensitive and could easily be overwhelmed by the world. I refuse to watch the news in general (especially election year news) because I don't want to think about / get upset about the terrible things in the world that I can't change.

Xanthophyllippa

@EternalFootwoman Hi, let's be terrible together, because I'm like this pretty much all the time. I also think tragedies are horrible and I watch the news and think sympathetic thoughts for the survivors and families, but I don't take them to heart. My interest in 9/11, for example, was purely informational and intellectual. I removed someone from my Facebook feed last fall for posting a seemingle endless series of 9/11 anniversary posts like, "I never thought it would hurt this much" and "please come to my candelight vigil so we can mourn and pray together." I didn't remove her for posting that - to each her own, and we all respond differently to tragedy. I removed her for getting pissed off at me for not agreeing to come to her vigil. Because again, to each her own.

Audley

@EternalFootwoman You are not a terrible person at all. I usually don't have strong emotional reactions to tragedies, but this has been a weird exception for me. I think I feel really terrible about it because I went to see the movie last night to celebrate my birthday, and the reality that something really terrible happened to people who were doing the exact same thing I was doing is really disturbing. And then I feel bad about being sad on my birthday, and then I feel guilty about wanting to not feel bad and really the only thing to do is let go of it all.

I am not a terrible person. You are not a terrible person.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@EternalFootwoman Nope. My reaction was basically, "omg, what? Wow, that happened. So many people! Sucks." and then I went on with my life.

(But then I cried buckets watching the towers fall and also one time when we got put on lock down because of the DC sniper. But I was in high school for those, so maybe that was just me being a teenager? And at least with the sniper thing, the administration's horrific method of notification was substantially to blame.)

okaycrochet

@EternalFootwoman Annie Dillard talks about this in For The Time Being and it is very, very helpful. That book talks a lot about human perspective and death and how we care and numbers. I highly recommend reading it if you need to have some words about feeling this way. Plus, ANNIE DILLARD.

Audley

@okaycrochet I'm always game to read Annie Dillard. I just placed a hold at my library.

The Lady of Shalott

@EternalFootwoman Nope, you are not alone. Yes I feel bad that a tragedy happened, and I feel awful for the people who were affected and their families, and I realize that it's an awful thing to have happen. But I'm not weeping, crying, posting things on FB about how much I'm thinking about Colorado, etc.

On the other side, on 9/11 my dad was in D.C. on business, and it legit was very scary. We couldn't get in touch with him until that night, and he was trapped there for four days until he and two colleagues straight-up took a rental car, promised they wouldn't leave DC, and drove 1000 miles back home and split the penalty fee between themselves. That was legitimately scary and upsetting for me, because it was my family, you know? Something awful happening in Colorado, where I know no one, absolutely doesn't have the same impact. At all. I feel bad that it happened, but not SHAKEN TO MY CORE or whatever.

baked bean

@EternalFootwoman I'm the same way. It's for real sad, but I'm not going to get super down about it or dwell in it.
I read two articles about it, and I think I'm done unless some big answer comes up as to why it happened, and I'll read that article. I'm not going to turn on the news, the spectacle surrounding it makes me kinda sick.

ClogginBoydCrowder

@Audley I've had exactly the same experience today. I have tickets to go tomorrow (bought them weeks ago), and it's just horrifying to think that all those people were doing the same thing that thousands of us are going to do this weekend, and they were just excited to go see the same movie I'm excited about. And I don't usually get upset about these kinds of events, but this one got me. I guess I'm just self-centered, because it only gets to me when I can relate?

Audley

@ClogginBoydCrowder I don't think it's really self-centered. I think people's minds just work that way because it's not possible to function if you have a strong emotional reaction to all of the terrible things that happen.

EternalFootwoman

@okaycrochet I love Annie Dillard. I was just having a discussion with a friend the other day about "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek" and how much that book influenced our conception of a higher power. (Although I try really hard not to dwell on the fact that she was only twenty-nine when PaTC was published.)

@everyone I wonder how much this has to do with news coverage. One commonality I'm seeing is that a number of you who say they don't feel super-sad mention not watching the news coverage of the shooting. If you did, would you feel closer to the event and therefore more emotional? It's a little scary to think that our emotions can be manipulated that much by things on TV.

JaneDoe

@EternalFootwoman
I know the feeling. I just get this empty/queasy feeling in my stomach. I know logically it is sad; people have lost their lives, lost loved ones, people will forever be changed by their experience in that theater(and in all other instances in which this is applicable). I know the words, tragedy, and disaster, but only in an intellectual way, I know the definitions, but not the visceral
reaction that comes from being involved in something with those kinds of definitions. If that makes sense.

EternalFootwoman

@JaneDoe That's definitely it--I feel intellectually that what happened was bad, but I know people who are crying over it, praying for the victims of the tragedy, etc. They're having a complete emotional reaction as though they were involved, and that's what I don't understand. I sort of feel like maybe the people who let themselves get so drawn into things like this haven't seen much tragedy in their own lives--otherwise, why seek out the tragedy of strangers?

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@EternalFootwoman Yes, definite lack of exposure to tragedy, personal or otherwise. Or, if not lack of exposure/awareness, then incredible amounts of American centrism and disgusting lack of compassion for non-Americans/non-middle-class/non-white persons. Not to be That Liberal Chick, but seriously, if you have that kind of reaction to a few dozen people being shot, how do you ever live your life? Like, if prayer's your thing, sorry, but you will not be able to pray enough in your lifetime to cover all the victims of tragedy in this world (actually, even just to cover all the victims of tragedy in your own country).

And to people who say it is so terrible because this was unexpected and without reason, I have to say, when is violence within reason? Seriously, though. When? When there is enough money or a large enough amount of a natural resource to try to take? When there is important land at stake? When fighting over which gang gets to sell drugs on that corner?

Okay, I guess I am That Liberal Chick. Badge of honor!

Xanthophyllippa

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Hey, you bleedin' heart, tree-huggin', dirty hippie liberal -- come sit by me! :D

EternalFootwoman

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me You said exactly what I've been thinking. Tragedy happens all the time, every day, in every city. How do you have the energy to put that level of mourning into every tragedy? Obviously, you don't, so what's special about the tragedy you're crying over? Either something makes it different (I would argue that that "something" is endless news coverage, which already has biases--I'd love to see constant coverage of the details of every gang-violence victim's life and death) or you're mourning for every death on the planet.

I think the fact that I work in health care also informs my reaction. I don't expect everyone to live to an old age, and I see how common violence and poverty and terrible, sad lives are. I have to actively work at not falling apart over my patients, so I think that wall keeps me from feeling emotional about strangers.

Also, if one more person tells me that if the moviegoers had been armed, no one would have been hurt, I will scream.

baked bean

@EternalFootwoman, @Veronica Mars is smarter than me I feel like the public mourns whatever the media chooses to tell the public to mourn. Like, when everyone freaks out about certain trials, or the death of one kid. Obviously tragedies happen all the time, but perhaps we should pay attention to which ones the media and the public chooses to focus on. When was the last time a black or brown child's death the focus of big public outcry and mourning, other than Trayvon Martin's, who was somehow "controversial?"
THAT is why I don't get too hung up on what the media tells me to get hung up on. I'm just as aware and shaken (if not more so) by the tragedies the media ignores, such as Mexican gang violence victims and the real cause behind the drug wars.

TheDragon

At least the boyfriend is still being amazing. He told me today that he loves my smile because "When I see it I can't help byt smile back because I know that I get to make you happy."
AWWW. And he called the dealership I had to drive to for my part and talked to them when I didn't understand car talk, and they didn't start work when they said they would. GUYS. Having a boyfriend can be FUN. When the hell did this happen?

Sorry. I just wanted to gush

PistolPackinMama

@The Kendragon *thump* *ded*

TheDragon

@PistolPackinMama i will missss him. dude

EpWs

@The Kendragon It really can be fun! But shhhh, don't tell too many people, there's not enough good boyfrans/girlfrans to go around. :P

PistolPackinMama

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher tell me about it.

TheDragon

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
Well now my commitment phobe is out in full force.
I'm trying not to listen to her.

themincedwords

Oh, God! At last! I've been waiting to remember to catch FOT during its active period for weeks now, because I have a very important question to ask.

Doesssss anyone on here live in Italy? Better yet, Northern Italy? Still better yet, around the Venice region specifically? I just moved here with my husband for his job and haven't a clue what I'm doing here (I mean, a few clues, like the learning Italian clue and the finishing my master's thesis clue). BUT. I know not a soul. International pin-up? Teeny itsy pin-up of two? Tips for social integration into new European country welcome, too!

Judith Slutler

@themincedwords Oh my god, eat all the food, just take all the food and put it in your mouth! And espresso! That is my social integration tip. Become a regular at an espresso bar in the mornings. Figure out when the farmer's markets are and buy the amazing vegetables from them too.

I am not in your area but maybe go to the Architecture Bienale? I think it's on till September in Venice. I went one time with some friends and omg it was amazing. for architects.

apples and oranges

@themincedwords Wahh I was just in Italy for a semester! I had a very difficult adjustment but ended up falling in love with my city and everywhere else. Eat everything. Second the above suggestion to become a regular at a caffe. If you have free time or want to kill a day and take a break from your thesis, take a train somewhere and spend a day in another city. Last, just for meeting people, my city had a local Couch Surfer group that met up and had events (bar nights, hiking, picnics, etc). It would be a really nice way for you to meet some new people, and meet actual Italians instead of other ex-pats. Plus there were a lot of people looking for language exchange partners.

Good luck! :)

themincedwords

@Emmanuelle Cunt Farmers markets! Espresso bars! I'm taking notes over here; thanks! I will absolutely check out the Venice exhibition, too!

themincedwords

@kangerine Ah, couch surfers! Such a good idea, and I am on high alert for an Italian language buddy. Ty, ty!

Judith Slutler

@themincedwords Oh and plus, just order the house red / buy the cheap Chianti every time. You are in the land of Almost All Wine Is Delicious.

AND: Porcini. If you like mushrooms, fresh porcini (which will come in like, September I think?) are just AMAZING.

Man I haven't been to Italy in way, way too long.

dabbyfanny

@themincedwords Rick Steve's Venice has decent suggestions, but definitely do San Marco and go upstaris to fall in love with the original horses, go to the Doges Palace, Giardinetti restaurant is great, eat seafood tagliatelli at Antica Sacrestia, eat pesto on anything at Osteria D'Alberto and this may sound odd, and I'm not normally a church person, but a big part of the experience for me is to, whenever I felt overwhelmed, go in a church. They are incredible. If you like contemporary art, do pallazzo Grassi and Punta Della Dogona (sp?). Walk in Saint Marks square at night. Take the little Traghetto boats across the grand canal, super fun, you'll feel like a local and it's only 50 cents. I like Venice especially in November. So beautiful. But do a little research and eat all the seafood. People also bar hop in the early evening, and eat little snacks. There's a couple of irish pubs that are kind of splendid too. The next biennale is in 2013, bit it's awesome art. Have a blast! Oh god, and the SHOPPING. The shoes. The bags. Whimper.

oh well never mind

@themincedwords I did a year abroad in Verona and it was lovely and beautiful but, yeah, a bit of a culture shock and I found it quite hard to meet Italians to start with. I did manage to meet some people through a local live music group though, although if you don't speak the language too well yet that kind of thing might work better later on. I did try a cookery class with a tiny little old Italian lady which was hilarious and good for getting used to the northern accent! On the language partner side of things, try the local uni as there were always students desperate to practise their English when I was there. You might not make friends this way so much but it'll boost your confidence at speaking.
Apart from that, do go and see as much as you can! Verona is very beautiful and romantic, and it's very worth going to the opera at the arena (might still be tickets for the current season?) even if it's not normally your cup of tea.
I'm going to Vicenza in October this year and really looking forward to it, I miss Italy!

Lemonnier

Does anyone know how much a broker's fee generally is (roughly) in Manhattan, if you end up paying one? 15% of one year's rent? One month's rent?

Also, is the security deposit generally equivalent to one or two months' rent? All of my knowledge of the NYC rental market is 15 years old.

Danzig!

@Lemonnier One month's rent is generally standard for both, as I recall, but depending on where it is you want to live, it can be worth it. Lots of places seem to let brokers have first dibs on spaces.

Lily Rowan

@Lemonnier My experience in Manhattan was 15% of the annual rent for the broker and one month for the deposit.

sophia_h

(I suspect this comment will disappear shortly after I make it, because the comments have been borked on my account for months, but I need to make it anyhow.)

Last week I asked for good health wishes. Since then I had a pregnancy confirmed, and promptly started miscarrying two days later. It was a very early and unplanned first pregnancy, but a very wanted one, it turned out, and I just -- I don't know, guys. I barely even had time to accept it and start to get excited before the end came. It's still not over, I'm waiting on the second round of labs, but I can tell my hormones have dropped because most of my symptoms are gone, and it's just...it is the worst. And I still have to sit here at work for the third day in a row.

And sitting in the waiting room on Wednesday, trying not to cry, all I could do was compose the beginning of a "How to Have a Miscarriage" article in my head. I might end up writing it, if only for me.

New Commenter Name

Dear Indian Food,
Why the heck did it take you so long to find me? What if there are not enough years left in my life to eat ALL OF YOU?
Sincerely,
Curiouser and curiouser

phipsi

@Curiouser and curiouser Amen. Just don't try to cooking it out of the gate (like I did). Or do try to cook it, whatevs! Just make sure you go into it with the following disclaimer in mind: WARNING: You will need to buy ALL the spices.

PistolPackinMama

@Curiouser and curiouser What's your favorite so far?

mackymoo

@Curiouser and curiouser Totally agree. Everything tastes so interesting and different! I was on a trip and went to an Indian buffet twice for lunch because it was so good. I want to learn a lot about it - any good book recs?

frigwiggin

@mackymoo 660 Curries is a good one! If you like the curry aspect of Indian food, anyway. I will rec that book into infinity because I have made so many good curries from it and the level of difficulties are nicely staggered.

New Commenter Name

@PistolPackinMama
My favorite so far is Everything I Have Tried.
Today I had Malai Kofta and decided I could now die happy.

dabbyfanny

@Curiouser and curiouser I fucking LOVE indian food. Julie Sahni has a decent book called Classic Indian Cooking which is good on technique, but she is timid with the spice.

New Commenter Name

@phipsi
All the spices, I can only imagine. I was looking at recipes online today and it all looks very complicated and mysterious. Also time consuming. For now I will continue to buy up all the carryout, there are two excellent Indian restaurants near my office. The only disappointment is that none of my coworkers are brave enough to try it.

dabbyfanny

@Curiouser and curiouser I'm sorry, but you need to find a new job in the same area, and one of the questions you ask on your interview is "do y'all love indian food?". This is a deal breaker. You could try, with the least timid current co-worker, to get them hooked on something very mild like Butter Chicken or Korma (although they can be a little sickly sweet depending on the restaurant). Just buy some garlic naan, dunk a slice in the butter chicken and offer them a buck if they'll eat it. Hooked!

liverwortlaura

@Curiouser and curiouser Now I am having fantasy of diving Scrooge McDuck style through a giant vat of gulab jamun. Come visit Chicago! We can go to Devon Ave and NEVER LEAVE and you will be able to get all the spices for cheap!

PistolPackinMama

@liverwortlaura MYSORE WOODS! And the sweet shop across the way. And you can also get pretty slippers!

PistolPackinMama

@Curiouser and curiouser Also it's not really complicated, once you get the hang of it.

The person who taught me how to make curry dishes started off showing me how to make dals, because they are pretty simple ingredients and she could make me focus on spices and flavor combos.

Yay for spices and curry!

New Commenter Name

@liverwortlaura "Come visit Chicago!" -- haha don't need to visit, I already live here!

liverwortlaura

@Curiouser and curiouser WELL THEN - want to go to Devon?? I always like a buddy to go and eat/shop with!

double paw?

I am supposed to do a 15-mile bike ride tomorrow, assuming the weather cooperates. I am excited! But also worried I won't be able to feel my butt for the rest of the weekend (but also, kind of excited for that too?). I am not a frequent bike rider though, let alone a rider of that kind of distance. Any tips are welcome!

phipsi

@double paw? Your butt will hurt! 15 miles is not all that bad. Assuming you are going a decent pace and not up and down giant hills, I think you will be biking for 1.5 hours MAX. Make sure there are beers at the end.

Do you have a water bottle cage? Or can you borrow a Camelbak from someone? I don't know where you are, but if you are near where I am it is HOT ALL THE TIME THIS SUMMER and you're going to want some water. It may also be wise to carry a granola bar or similar if you are blood-sugar crashy.

I just bought a new bike a few weeks ago, and I have been loving it! I'm supposed to ride a whole bunch of miles next week (two days of RAGBRAI - a bike ride across Iowa that includes a lot of beer), but it is supposed to be 98 degrees on those days. I think my plan is "ride until it is 90 degrees and then drink beer for the rest of the day."

sarah girl

@double paw? I think you'll be surprised at how quickly it goes by! It's not a ride around the block, but still. I think a lot of people tend to visualize bike-miles as either walking- or running-miles - unless you're a serious runner, 15 miles is a long way! But bikes are so much faster and cover ground much more quickly.

Also, before you start make your bike seat is at a good height where you don't have to hunch over to read the handlebars. So much more comfortable!

phipsi

@double paw? @Sarah H. Yes this is a very excellent point about seat/handlebar height! It will make your ride much more comfortable. Check to see if your bike seat has a quick release lever or if you need an allen (hex) wrench. Also make sure your bike tires are aired up, there should be a little imprint on the side of the tire that tells you an approximate pressure. Having aired-up tires will make the ride much, much easier. Riding on soft under-inflated tires sucks!

double paw?

@phipsi Good call! I keep remembering then forgetting about the water issue. Alas, my bike is cage-less, but I guess I can finally use my Camelbak-ish pack.

@Sarah H. Yeah, I am pretty inept at estimating bike-miles in general. I'm familiar with running 10 miles so it sounds like it'll be along those lines.

Thanks guys, you are making me feel even more excited!

liverwortlaura

@double paw? it will be fuunnnnnnnn, esp if the weather/wind cooperates. I commute ~ 13 miles by bike, and it takes me about 50 minutes (I keep a steady pace, but I'm no crazy cyclist). Hope it's great and can't wait to hear how it goes!

OxfordComma

Can y'all keep a secret?

...

I'm ENGAGED!!!!

We're trying to get all our friends together for dinner on Sunday to tell them in person, and I'm about to 'splode from not telling anyone outside our immediate families!

:D

The Boyo and I dated for five-and-a-half (long)years, and we've been best friends for thirteen.

Darlings.

I can't wait to marry him. It's going to be amazing.

(and we'll see how the wedding coordinator does at planning her own wedding. eeeeeeeek!)

noodge

@OxfordComma CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

PistolPackinMama

@OxfordComma !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEY EVERYONE, OXFORD COMMA IS ENGAGED!

(I guess I suck at secrets)

(So many best wishes for you two! That is happy making!)

Judith Slutler

@OxfordComma ahhhhhhh

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Scandyhoovian

@OxfordComma CONGRAAAATS!!!!

olivebee

@OxfordComma CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Can we hear the story (only if you want to share it)?

So happy for you!

the roughest toughest frail

@OxfordComma Mazal tov!

TheDragon

@OxfordComma Congratulations! :)
I second olivebee! Story?

OxfordComma

@The Kendragon @olivebee : We were up in Portland, visiting his family, and he very sneakily asked if I wanted to visit the Rose Garden, which was in bloom, and so, so beautiful.

We wandered around for a little bit, and ended up in an amphitheatre, where (my favorite part) an old dude was sitting on the stage, singing bad Bob Dylan to himself.

We talked about the trip, about his mad family and mine, he said, "I don't suppose you want to marry me anyhow?", and gave me the ring (petite, beautiful, Tiffany's).

...I think my first response was, "Really?" I kinda suspected that he was going to ask then, but after so many years of dating, I was surprised, and also crying. He was teary, himself.

We went to Powell's Books, just the two of us, for the rest of the day, browsing books and grinning at each other.

...And he asked me again in the Ray Bradbury section, just because.

I love heem.

OxfordComma

@PistolPackinMama : Hush, you! ;D

PatatasBravas

@OxfordComma This is so sweet! Congratulations to the both of you!

olivebee

@OxfordComma NUH UH! My husband proposed to me in a rose garden, too! (It was my favorite spot in Evanston when I was in college). And I also responded with a tearful "Are you serious?!"

Your story is beautiful, and I LOVE the bookended second proposal in the bookstore. Yay!!!

New Commenter Name

@OxfordComma
So so sweet! I love sweet stories like that. The old guy singing Bob Dylan songs is the best.

My husband vomited after proposing to me, he was so nervous.

OxfordComma

@Curiouser and curiouser : Poor guy! :o

OxfordComma

@olivebee : Yay! And thank you--it's been a long journey together, and I'm glad to be moving on *with* him instead of going away without him.

okaycrochet

@OxfordComma I love that he asked you again! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH loveeeeeeeee

EpWs

@OxfordComma YAY CONGRATULATIONS! THIS IS THE BEST!

steponitvelma

@OxfordComma Woah! My friend got engaged in the Rose Garden in PDX this last weekend. What a coincidence!

OxfordComma

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher : Thank you, lady! :D

@steponitvelma : Really? That's grand! (also, your username? BOOYAH.)

billie_crusoe

One of my facebook friends posted one of those cheesy inspirational-words-over-fuzzy-images things today about spending time alone, and it actually made me realize how much better I am doing at being alone lately. I lost my job in VT last September and moved back to couchsurf (and now live with family / start my PhD) in my home state, and I've been pretty isolated from my friends since then. (Also, there was a bad friend-breakup with the ex I was trying to be friends with, and I kind of pushed everyone away after that for a while.) I meet up with friends often enough, but don't have the kind of emotionally supportive friendships I'd like. But I'm kind of OK with that right now? Not totally OK with it, but more so than usual. I guess it's part of my "I need to like myself and be less crazy before I can date again" effort. So this was a really nice realization.

I feel REALLLLY homesick for Vermont right now though :( I want snowwwww.

Also, I'm having some weird bad period cramps without a period, which is making me nervous. I had surgery for a uterine prolapse almost 3 years ago, and I have the transvaginal mesh that the FDA has since decided isn't safe (the phrase "mesh erosion through the vagina" was involved in the FDA press release). I really hope it's not that; I'm already freaking out because I realized I've been uninsured so long that my migraines will be an uninsured preexisting condition when I get insurance again next month. This makes me want to cry. I can't wait until 2014 to treat my migraines again; they've been awful all summer. Bah.

billie_crusoe

@billie_crusoe Also, I just found out I won't get my first GA check until September 1. Which is going to make paying the $500 in semester fees not covered by my fee waiver with the $5 in my savings account AWESOME.

Changeling

I'm leaving tomorrow for Falcon Ridge Folk Festival (aka second home)! ahhhhh it will be so nice to be back. It doesn't actually start until next weekend, but I volunteer on the setup crew. If you're in the Hillsdale, NY area next week, check it out! Best part of my summer.

Gwdihw

@Changeling

CHANGELING! I am finishing the letter I started three weeks ago! I swore I wouldn't be the worst and yet here I am again!

Is working at a folk festival like being a carnie, except with healthier food?

Changeling

@l'esprit de l'escalier
hey! don't worry about it - just say you've been busy doing pregnant things. that's totally the excuse I'm going to use when I have a baby some day.
I do feel like a temporary carnie. with a golf cart.

OhMarie

Anyone have thoughts about hybrid cars? Particularly used ones?

My faithful Mazda Protege is starting to fall apart after 170k miles and I think I want a hybrid. I cannot drop $20k+ on it, so it will have to be used. It looks like this limits me to the Toyota Prius and Camry Hybrid in the 2009-2010 range.

Anyone have a hybrid? What do you think? Or, did anyone consider a hybrid and decide against it?

BornSecular

@OhMarie I have a Honda Civic Hybrid '09. I love the gas mileage, but it does WEIRD things. The ride is not smooth at all. My gas mileage has been going down since I got it actually, even though I'm still under 50k. I blame my lead foot: "the speed limit is a floor, not a ceiling!!"

Reginal T. Squirge

From driving Zipcar hybrids I can say that most hybrids have that weird jerk when the main power supply switches over from the battery to the gas-powered engine at higher speeds. And when you're doing stop-and-go driving in a city, it can get annoying. Never had this problem with a Prius, though.

laurel

@OhMarie: My boyfriend's Prius (the old school version) is the nicest-driving compact car I've ever driven. Great visibility and handling. The progressive braking took a little getting used to but now I love it and it's fun to wrack up the Es when braking.

BornSecular

Ok, that confirms it: I need to be looking for a Prius. I've been unhappy with my HCH for a while now, and too lazy to look for another car. On the plus side, I did fill out my paperwork for a $100 rebate because Honda's being sued for misinformation about the gas mileage.

OhMarie

Great, thanks everybody! I will take a look around for a Prius!

EpWs

@OhMarie I drive a Prius for work and it does weird stuff sometimes (makes strange noises/etc when parked, which, just WHAT, PRIUS, WHY ARE YOU WHRRRRRRING? WHAT IS WRONG) and I've got issues with the rear visibility, but that might be because I'm short!

Faintly Macabre

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I don't think it's just you--I'm pretty tall and I find the Prius's rear window kind of annoying. BUT I love the rest of the car! I think my parents' Prius (which I drive a lot) is about 3 years old, so not the newest model. But it's roomy and comfortable, easily rearranged to truck stuff in, and sooo nice and quiet on battery mode. Plus it gets about 55 mpg on the highway! Oh, and not having to use a key to open/start the car is great...until you need to pee and the keys to your house are in the very depths of your bag.

Briony Fields

Y'all. How do you deal with step-family birthdays? I've been kind of bratty about acknowledging my step-parents' birthdays in the past, even though they are excellent steps. My sis has occasionally emailed me to remind me and I've bristled at that, but my step-mom turned 65 this year and I forgot and I feel kind of awful. I guess I've outgrown the bratty stage and now I just feel guilty? I kind of won the step-lottery, to be honest.
Do you call your steps on their birthdays the way you would with your parents?

PistolPackinMama

@Briony Fields I forget birthdays all the time.

I think in this case, I might actually send flowers or at least a card that actually SAID "this year I promised myself to send this ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY and I forgot. I am so sorry I was a brat. I won the stepmom lottery, and I hope you and dad had a really great time celebrating."

It feels nice to have someone say they appreciate you that explicitly.

.
.

@Briony Fields She'd probably really appreciate a card. If my step parents weren't poo I would do it. You are lucky :)

frigwiggin

@Briony Fields I usually call my stepdad and we have like a five-second conversation, because I figure he appreciates the sentiment but we almost never have anything to say to one another, because we have zip in common besides my mom. (And I forgot to call him on Father's Day this year so I'm going to try extra hard to remember his birthday this year.) Send flowers or a card!

BornSecular

I met Microsoft Publisher for the first time this week. >_<
Having InDesign withdrawal.

OxfordComma

@BornSecular : Oh, that sucks ass. :(

Scandyhoovian

Are there any former/current clarinetists out there? I played all through high school and then sort of let it lapse once I graduated, and it's been 10 year since I played with any sort of regularity at all, but I've been listening to Tori Amos's Night of Hunters all week and the absolutely gorgeous musicianship on that album is making me miss it with serious pangs lately (like there have been misty moments and some tears) and I just wondered if this is the Sign That I Should Pick It Back Up Seriously or something more like extreme nostalgia?

meetapossum

@Scandyhoovian Former clarinetist here! My Buffet is currently gathering dust in my parents' house. I played a bit throughout college, but I haven't played in...7 years? I get nostalgic for it sometimes, but I never really practiced and know that I definitely wouldn't now either.

But, maybe you should! Especially if there are tears.

double paw?

@Scandyhoovian That thought crosses my mind every now and then too, but I stopped playing in middle school, so even if I did pick it up again, I'd probably only be able to toot out Hot Cross Buns.

That being said, you should totally do it! Even if it is for the nostalgia of it all, if you can find a cheap clarinet (or still have your old one), why not? We could start a clarinet jam band, if ever get around to getting one.

boysplz

@Scandyhoovian I was a clarinetist forever ago and gave it up in high school. I've also had thoughts of picking it up again now that I'm a grown up who can blow money something like that. I never do though because in reality I think I wouldn't ever use it. But maybe you're different! My super cheesy advice in these circumstances is to "make your dreams a reality." Is renting instruments a possibility? That seems less like an investment.

Scandyhoovian

@all I do still have my (guilt-inducingly gorgeous) clarinet so all I would need to do to pick it back up is buy some weak reeds and start (I can't use the ones in the case, I was up to 4.5 or 5 at the time and LOL NO). So perhaps I will!

Amphora

@Scandyhoovian Try some klezmer tunes! They really showcase the clarinet's...umm...unique powers...to create crazy sounds. For the entertainment of yourself and others.

Jizzcliner

Hey hairpinners! I'm strongly considering moving to Montreal. Doesn't this seem like a sensible idea?

Saskquatch

@Jizzcliner Do it! If it doesn't work for you...leave. NBD!

Jubie

I'm moving to Ottawa in a few weeks! Are you already in Canada? The last time I lived in Canada Paul Martin was Prime Minister and Stephen Harper came to my track tournaments to see his son run. Seems topsy-turvy now! I say move; I remember Montreal was a young person's city so there should be a lot of turnover in jobs+apartments.

Megasus

@Jizzcliner Montreal is pretty great, and apparently the rents are pretty cheap!
@Jubie I used to live in Ottawa, let me know if you have any questions about living there!

redheaded&crazy

@Jizzcliner the rent is SO insanely cheap. and thanks to global warming, the winters probably aren't even as bad as they used to be!

Jubie

@Megano! oh thanks! I wanted to know how common speaking French on the street is. Casually using French in Toronto was very rare but federal capitaletc. Any general recommendations would be great too!

Megasus

@Jubie In Ottawa it's pretty rare. MAYBE you will run into French people downtown (because Gatineau is right across the river) and in Vanier for sure, but I don't think I ever had to speak French to anyone.
And pretty much everyone who is French speaks English, so it's pretty much a nonissue there.

thenotestaken

@Jizzcliner I'm here so I can say firsthand it's an excellent idea! Super fun city, rents are cheap, summer is aaaamazing, and it's usually not too hard to find places to live. French will definitely help if you're coming here to work, though mine is still awful to the point of being basically nonexistent and it hasn't mattered because I've always worked jobs at my (English) university and you can get by with non/minimal French in outside life if you live in one of the more central neighborhoods.

Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

I made a friend on the bus this week, and today we even exchanged phone numbers! I don't go out enough to make new friends on the reg, so that was fun.

On the downside, I clammed up out of fear a couple of weeks ago, but my job is still being... erratic with paying us. I'm actively looking around, but I have job-application anxiety (this is the first non-restaurant job I've ever had) and very few professional connections outside of my current job. I'm afraid of losing anonymity if I go the DOL. I feel really stuck. :/

Inkling

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas
Ooh, how did you pull that off? I (and a good number of 'Pinners it seems) are often bewildered about how to friend!

Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

@Inkling It was kind of coincidental -- we ride the same bus most mornings, but only struck up conversation after we had run into / recognized / waved hello to each other in a different setting.

Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

Um, also, when I was writing my above comment, I noticed someone who said their comments kept disappearing, but was sharing something about a miscarriage.

For the life of me I can't find it, or remember the 'Pinner who wrote it, but if you're reading I saw it and my heart goes out to you. There was a miscarriage in my immediate family this week, so I feel particularly drawn to put empathy out there for you. I'm so, so sorry. All I can say is, you're not alone. If you want to write about it (even if it is "just" for you), I think that's a really brave and painful thing to do.

Judith Slutler

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas wow. I too was about to reply to that comment. I feel for you, Pinner with disappearing comments.

dabbyfanny

I met a sweet little black dog, who had been abandoned and needed a home. I consider myself a cat person, so had major qualms about if I should take her, even though we bonded pretty well...and my partner really wasn't into the idea, so I dithered and someone else took her. And now I feel kind of sad, and I keep hoping the person who took her will change their mind :(

etheline.

Ridiculous thing that just happened:
My husband and I have offices on the same street, and I just ducked out for a quick icecream break before I finish up some editing.
He called as soon as I got back to ask if I'd just gotten a snack. A tad freaked out by his psychic powers, I asked how he knew.
"I thought I saw you, strutting down the street with something in a cup. You looked so, so happy."
Apparently, I have an ice cream strut.

atipofthehat

@etheline.

That is probably the best kind of strut to have.

redheaded&crazy

@etheline. who DOESN'T have an icecream strut?!

i have a whole little dance where i wave my arms around like a t-rex and sing (if you can picture it) a more off-key version of rebecca black's friday that goes "ice cream! ice cream! ice cream on a friday!"

PistolPackinMama

@etheline. CRUCIAL QUESTION. What kind of ice cream? My guava strut is different from my salty caramel strut.

etheline.

@PistolPackinMama Happy Birthday. Tastes like vanilla icing with little bits of cake batter in it. Damn right it was worth celebrating.

etheline.

@redheaded&crazie I CAN picture it, and it's glorious.

redheaded&crazy

where is the montreal pinners group cuuuuz i'm gonna be in montreal for osheaga and I want to see people?! IF YOU'LL HAVE ME! WHO ELSE IS GOING TO OSHEAGA?!?!?!?

let's meet up at florence, i'll be the one wearing hairpins.

thenotestaken

@redheaded&crazie oh heyyy! I don't have my ticket but I've been trolling the classifieds sites so hopefully I'll find one soon, and I'm definitely planning on going in general! we should definitely have another (i.e. our second, cough) pinup then!

Slutface

My bf and I are going to be moving in together into his tiny, tiny apartment. Does anyone know of any blogs besides Apartment Therapy that specialize in decorating/maximizing space of tiny apartments?

EpWs

@Slutface Apartment Therapy is the only one that comes to mind, but I know Ikea is all about some tiny spaces, so maybe check out their website/catalog for ideas?

Slutface

I know this is a bad thing, but I hate read a few blogs written by ridiculous people with zero self-awareness. I want to stop, but I just can't stop reading these train wrecks! Am I horrible person?

twocats

@Slutface I do it too, so I hope it doesn't make one a horrible person!

joie

@Slutface the only horrible thing about this is if you don't share what the blogs are, so I can hate read as well. it's one of my favorite pastimes!

Slutface

@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside I feel bad doing that, but one of them is Kath Eats Real Food. All she eats are huge sugar bomb bowls of oatmeal and she's way too smug for her own good. I guess I shouldn't feel bad about hate-reading since they're still getting $$ for my pageviews.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Slutface This is a totally OK thing to do. Also, the pageviews thing is the ONLY reason I would consider not hate reading something.

Audley

@Slutface Don't feel bad, I'm facebook friends with a ton of people I don't really know/like just so I can have my fill of un-self-aware statuses. I think it's a pretty normal human behavior.

I smell burnt toast

@Slutface I just googled this lady's blog, and it seems to be remarkably void of content. Just pictures of her stuff and what she eats. I'm going to keep this on file as a 'how not to blog'. Do you have any other recommendations? (I am a terrible person.)

lalaland

@Slutface Have you heard of getoffmyinternets.com? They HATEEEEE Kath on there. She has an entire sub-forum dedicated to her.

And yes! How bad are those oatmeals? I tried to recreate one once because it looked fun and then I realized it was like 1000 calories. I'm not opposed to eating a 1000 calorie meal...but not OATMEAL.

lalaland

@Audley I think FB has some algorithm where the people you view the most pop up on your newsfeed. Not a single person I actually talk to pops up on my newsfeed, it is entirely populated by acquaintances whom I've realized are crazy and I now follow religiously.

And then sometimes my actual friends and I text about how crazy they are.

daisicles

@lalaland I feel like this must be how it works. I have one person I keep around almost solely in hopes of getting a repeat of The 2009 Hairbow Post, in which I found out that some people use KY jelly to stick bows on their infant daughters' heads. Her posts pop up ALL THE TIME on my newsfeed because I keep clicking on them. Sadly, there haven't been any new revelations on inappropriate uses of personal lubricant, just a lot of preachy posts I violently disagree with, but one day...

frigwiggin

@Slutface Oh, I think lots of people do this. With most irritating/entertaining people, though, I eventually lose patience with their insufferability and end up taking them off my google reader or whatever, although then sometimes I miss it and want them back. (There are a looooot of style bloggers out there who seem so completely, utterly...UGH.)

phlox

Montrealers! I'm going to be in town next week for a conference that already is getting kind of stressful, so does anyone want to meet up for drinks? Tuesday or Wednesday night?

oh well never mind

Next week it's my birthday and my boyfriend has a surprise planned and I am so giddy and excited! I actually had difficulty getting to sleep the other night and haven't been looking forward to my birthday this much for years. All I know is that I am leaving the country! We're going to the airport on my birthday and not coming back for three days! Eeee! Sorry. Ahem. Congratulations, how wonderful etc.
(Eeeeee!)

Inkling

@moosette
Ahhh! Tell us where you end up going! DON'T END UP ON DATELINE!

BornSecular

25 minutes until I can leave work, and because I am woefully out of touch with current pop culture, I will sing in my head the wonderfully 90's country song! Finally Fridayyyyyyy! Free again! (almost)

baked bean

@BornSecular 90s country is a guilty pleasure of mine, as a shock to most acquaintances :)

twocats

I am finally going home after a month-long work trip in the middle of no where. I'm really excited to see my husband and my cats.

errata stigmata

Newly-delurked here! You all seem so nice and so smart.

Saskquatch

@errata stigmata when you dye your hair, please tell me what colour :)

Briony Fields

@errata stigmata Welcome!

Inkling

@errata stigmata
Same to you :) Welcome welcome!

Saskquatch

Work complaint/appeal for advice or commiseration:
My crew (5 people this week) were sitting around the lunch table. Coworker In Question was complaining about the fast food restaurant he went to for breakfast and it rapidly devolved into a rant about all the "immigrants" who work there, talking garbage about unintelligible accents, how they "stink up the place"...I don't want to go on.
I am still kind of (only kind of, unfortunately) shocked he was saying this out loud. We have been working together a few weeks-I know he is an ignorant redneck but alot of the people in this part of the world/in my work are I can not and will not avoid them all. I tried to head him off a few times, mostly with jokes and subject shifting. He started to go into full on white supremacist mode.
I don't really know what to do now, in terms of working with him every day. I've never had to deal with this before, because when someone was obviously this batshit I was always in a social situation where I could unengage. And I usually unengage because I will fly into a full on Hulk mode and I don't want to be charged with assault when THEY are the problem.
And yes, I am the only one in the crew who had a real problem with his behavior (a sigh is inadequate to express how not surprising this is). They're not agreeing with his opinions to a man, but an eye roll and a shrug is as far as their displeasure will go.
I need to hear your stories about how you dealt/wished you had dealt with these situations. Coworker In Question is not going anywhere, no matter who I talk to (seperate worm can) at least in the short term. How do I manage the rage without getting an ulcer and how can I sway the others into seeing this is not ok?

Sea Ermine

@Saskquatch Can you go to HR? Obviously this might not work so well if you think HR will be on his side but ideally you should be able to say that he's creating a hostile work environment and making you uncomfortable with his offensive statements. And since he said it out loud around other people you will have proof and witnesses and whatnot.

If you can't go to HR maybe try saying to him next time this happens "Those kind of comments are really inappropriate and I would appreciate it if you refrain from sharing them in the workplace" in you iciest tone and then walk away.

laurel

@Saskquatch: Document everything as it happens. Use email, because it datestamps messages. When your white supremacist coworker goes on a rant, email yourself, at your work and personal email addresses, an account of what happened. It doesn't matter if it's work related or not, you're building a log of his attitudes and the hostile environment you're working in.

This record will be essential if you ever have to report him, or the people who agree with him, for a workplace violation, such as harassment of some kind, of you or someone else.

baked bean

@Saskquatch If there's no higher ups or HR that can help, I'd just come up with some great comeback ahead of time for next time he says something, because you know he will. Icy cold, like Sea Ermine said. Who cares if he doesn't like you? He already dislikes a huge population, and they're a cooler side to be on. :)
Plus, if you stand up to it, maybe the other coworkers who aren't willing to do more than eye roll will speak up as well.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@baked bean I support the icy stare tactic. This is a go-to sanctioned by our very own S. Elizabeth, for good reason. Say very politely that his statements are offensive/untrue/inappropriate/whatever, nice and succinctly. Then just give your polite, icy eye contact in response to whatever he says.

Also, let me commiserate about intolerant assholes! As a teenager I worked in a tiny place with mostly conservative people. One day it came up that one woman was boycotting all things Disney, including going to movies/letting her kids go. Why? Because Disney had Pride days, and that is NOT OK. It was disgusting, and probably my first real brush with blatant intolerance, so pretty shocking/unbelievable as well. And then when she left, I turned to my coworker, who is a middle-aged black ex-Marine, and I expressed my complete horror. He then told me the story of how his daughter had, not too long ago, revealed to him that she was in love with her (female) roommate. And his response to her? "You love who you love." Omigosh, so much dust in my eyes then! My point being that some people are assholes but other people are lovely.

Inkling

@Saskquatch
Definitely agree with Sea Ermine on iciness! A tip I saw before on here was saying "Wait. What?" as soon as he does his thing. It communicates incredulity, gives you a minute, and forces the racist to explain his stupid stance rather than make allusions to existing stereotypes and expect everyone to be on board with him.

zoe
zoe

@Saskquatch the worst! I've reply-all called a co-worker out on inappropriate "joke" email, which resulted in tears/denial etc and her never including me in joke emails again, but also hopefully, thinking about how things can be perceived before hitting forward, sometimes just a 'dude, that's really uncool" works?
not quite the same, but similarly dilemmaed over How To Respond.. on the bus the other night, 2x <20 year old semester abroad dudes (all the American semester abroad kids live in my neighbourhood, cos it's close to uni and at the beach) had a charming conversation on a bus in which they loudly - and I mean not just American-loud (love youse, but you loud) but drunk 20yearold cocky douche loud - rated all the girls in their exchange program on a scale of 1 to 10, discussing their various hotness, coolness, chillness and morally judging their behaviours (she's easy, she was like talking to some guy she did not even know!).. RAGE!!!! they literally seemed to have no idea that this kind of rating is considered completely douchey and insulting to women, and not OK... at least, here it isn't? is it OK over there? I feel like this is something maybe you secretly might do, but never never ever shout it across the bus, because its totally unacceptable??? but tell me, is it a public conversation that you might tolerate hearing and just shrug off?
I felt like it totally wasn't, but I sat there getting increasingly more THE RAGE, and giving them my best The Look/icy eye contact, but to no avail... and I wanted to say something across the bus, or go over and be all "dudes, this is socially repugnant and uncool, and by-the-by you'd better not find yourself in any of the courses I teach, watch out!!!" .. BUT it was middnight, and I'd just been to a themepark and then to the pub and I was both a little boozy and clutching a large stuffed Totoro I'd won, and felt those things would weaken my argument :(
can you call total strangers out for horrible conversations in public? I mean, they made us all part of their conversation by shouting in an enclosed space.....

Sea Ermine

I had a phone interview today! It went....not awesome. Not terrible either (I didn't cry or say anything really bizarre) but I was so nervous (I've only interviewed once before, and it was for a part time job at a mall 3 years ago) that I gave some mediocre answers to things I had totally prepared for (I even had sample answers in front of me and I just...looked at them and then said something else). And when they asked for my ideal salary I gave a number that was almost 10k lower than the salary typically payed for this job at this company (I panicked!).

And then I got asked what my gpa was and I forgot (I only know my major gpa) so I guessed and then later went to look at my transcript and my guess was higher than the real number and now I'm scared they are going to ask for my transcript and think I lied. Also, how long does it take for them to stop asking about gpas? I just graduated in May so I figure it will be a common question but I had all the depression during college and failed a lot of classes that I would have otherwise done well in so my gpa is like a 2.7. Which is not the end of the world but right now I think people are using it to evaluate me because I have less job experience than the desired candidate and now I'm worried that it will prevent me from ever getting a job. Ughhhhhh. Oh well, I guess it's good practice with interviewing?

lalaland

@Sea Ermine Phone interviews are the worst! I try to never turn down an interview though because no matter what, it's good practice!

Your GPA will be asked about for your first job, and then will not matter for any subsequent job.*

*Except Google, which really really really cares about your GPA no matter how old you are, and maybe if you do stuff that is academic-related? The business world does not care about your GPA after your first job though!

Sea Ermine

@lalaland That's really good to know. I figure as long as I can get something (anything!) then they can overlook it, and also I'll finally have a job that lasted more than a couple months. Fortunately I'm not interested in doing anything academic related, I mean, I'm applying to universities but for admin assistant positions (my dream job way down the road would be an office manager sort of thing) so hopefully once I have a little more experience the disaster that was my college education will be overlooked.

flanhoodles

I got caught skinny dipping last night by the cops. This is the second time this summer I have nearly gotten arrested for doing something I really think should be perfectly legal.

quinoamuffin

@flanhoodles Right on!

phlox

For anyone reading Oscar Wao after that interview with Junot Diaz the other week - there is a site that has all kinds of annotations so you don't have to google translate and wikipedia all the time to keep up.

splendorofmorgan

On a flight from SMF-LAX, I sat near a person who is going on Judge Joe Brown. His girlfriend is suing him for bills he didn't pay while they were living together. I'm withholding judgment until I hear her side of the story, although the fact that he thought it prudent to announce his circumstances to everyone within a three aisle radius does not bode well for his character.

WhiskeySour

@splendorofmorgan Nor does agreeing to go on Judge Joe Brown. Judge Joe Brown is fairly bottom-of-the-barrel when it comes to daytime television court shows. I know, I watch many of them.

HeyThatsMyBike

@splendorofmorgan Wouldn't the flight cost more than just paying the damages for some of those cases? I love how they are always like "You're ordered to pay the plaintiff 122.73 for damages to her car window" or something.

Inkling

@WhiskeySour
And by that you mean no judge but Judge Judy, correct.
Judge Judyyy <3
Justice and intuition embodied in goddess form.

WhiskeySour

@Inkling
Sorry to disappoint, but Judge Marilyn Milian is my favorite TV judge. I feel like I've actually learned a lot about the law from her; I know she's taught me a lot about landlord/tenant law, which has been really useful.

But Judge Judy is also on a lot at minimum several times a day in my house. She is fun to watch. I wish I had one-tenth of her meanness, it would really help me get through the day as a non-confrontational person, but I enjoy it more for the schadenfreude and feeling better about my life choices than for having application of the law explained.

Inkling

@WhiskeySour
I've never watched her! But that sounds good, I like learning about the law. (Why isn't this taught in schools? Ohhh wait I think everyone knows.)
I like Judge Judy to learn about being intuitive about people and also yelling. And also she and Byrd are in love so there's that. Does Judge Marilyn have a sexy baliff she loves?

WhiskeySour

@Inkling
Oh my gosh, does she ever! Meet Officer Douglas McIntosh (the guy in the middle.) RRAWR!

Inkling

@WhiskeySour
YES, DO WANT.

soul toast

I finally told my boss that I'm pregnant, and it was as easy and painless as I was lead to believe. So that's finally done.
I am determined to do something fun this weekend instead of napping all day.

New Commenter Name

@soul toast
YAY congratulations!
I remember how nervous the boss telling made me. Do you feel a little bit weird about it too? I felt like by admitting I was pregnant, it was pointing out the glaringly obvious fact that I had just recently been up to all sorts of sex and now I'd gone and made a baby because of it. And I just felt really awkward saying that to my boss, and also parents/inlaws/grandmother. I don't know. Maybe it was just me who felt that way. Hmmmm. Going to examine my hang-ups now.
But yeah, congratulations! Babies are awesome! And really don't knock yourself out trying to do something fun this weekend, there is nothing better than napping when you are pregnant.

Queen of Pickles

@soul toast

Oh I napped for like three hours today and it was EXCELLENT. The most fun ever.

soul toast

@Curiouser and curiouser
I also feel a bit weird about it, but not because of the sex thing. I'm a lesbian, so I got pregnant through IUI, and I don't think anyone would be like, "hmm, I know what you got up to approximately 3 months ago." But it's still weird?
And my idea of doing something fun right now is pretty low-key. I slept for literally 12 hours on Friday night, and then hung out with my sister on Saturday. Which met my goal.

Xanthophyllippa

Okay, so I'm just going to unload this: When you and a friend know all the same people, there becomes a point when your friend hanging out with all those people and not inviting you stops being a coincidence and starts being rude and exclusive. And the point at which that shift happens is exactly at the start of the second time they all hang out without you.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Xanthophyllippa UGH I'm sorry, this sucks! I hate this thing. People who do this thing are jerks.

BucketsOfCool

@Xanthophyllippa I know, I know. And then all their fun times are all over the Interwebs. And you 'hide' them on Facebook because even though you SHOULD just delete them you don't want to be as rude and hurtful as they are. Jerks, definitely!

The Lady of Shalott

@Xanthophyllippa Oh shit, I didn't mean to like this! I meant it in a solidarity type way--that has happened to me and it is really crappy.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Lady of Shalott I just assumed any likes here were just someone yelling, "Preach, SISTAH!"

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa Ugh. Time for a different group of friends in addition to this one.

Also. How is it that adults are this way? HOW?

liverwortlaura

@Xanthophyllippa so crappy :( all the hugs, and hopefully some new friends straight your way!

Xanthophyllippa

@liverwortlaura @Everyone Thanks, y'all. The worst is that she periodically says things like, "Oh, the next time we see Tony, we'll have to tell him..." and I have to suppress the urge to say, "You mean the next time YOU see Tony." I mean, I like some of these folks a lot, but don't know them well enough to feel comfortable calling and being all, "Hey, wanna hang out?"

HeyThatsMyBike

I didn't really "meet" anybody new this week, but yesterday I was taking out the trash and a guy in a Land Rover who was driving out of my condo complex stopped and rolled down his window (I am holding a bag of smelly trash standing next to the garbage can at this point) and says "What's the most best thing that's happened to you today?" I just gave him a confused look and said "I don't know. It hasn't been a very exciting day." And then he said "I'm sorry to hear that," and pulled away.

So, either he was hitting on me very strangely or I survived some kind of Anton Chigurh round of questioning, right?

PatatasBravas

@HeyThatsMyBike You've just had a Manic Pixie Dream Boy Drive-By?

HeyThatsMyBike

@PatatasBravas I mean, if I had said, "This. You asking me this right now," I would have suddenly been whisked into a Zooey Deschanel movie, right?

Megasus

@HeyThatsMyBike Only if he then whisked you away for a day of excitement/romance/squashed hearts

Xanthophyllippa

@HeyThatsMyBike I believe you would have actually turned into Zooey Deschanel. Probably a good thing you couldn't think of anything.

HeyThatsMyBike

@Xanthophyllippa Yeah, instead I just shrugged, threw away my garbage, and saved being a quirky MPDG for another day.

WhiskeySour

This week has kicked my butt, but two fun things happened today:
1) I got a letter from my PinPal!
2) I learned that the song "Owner of a Lonely Heart" is not, in fact called "Owner of a Lonely Horse." How I never realized this before is a bit embarrassing. But it gave me a good laugh.

wee_ramekin

@WhiskeySour I steadfastly maintain that it's "Bring me an iron lung", because what's this "higher love" bullshit? #not convinced

HeyThatsMyBike

@WhiskeySour Much better than the owner of a broken horse.

Also my favorite mishear of all time was a good friend who thought the Chicago song went "You're the meaning in my life/ You're the instant raisin" until she was like 12.

laurel

:::giggling:::

EpWs

@WhiskeySour I maintain that it's "Don't go, Jason Waterfall."

many things do not fly

@WhiskeySour This just is begging to be posted here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5OzF-ZT6QI

frigwiggin

@WhiskeySour My mom was genuinely surprised that it isn't actually "dirty deeds and the thunder cheeks." Which, Mom, what?

Xanthophyllippa

@WhiskeySour Secret....Aaaasian Man! Givin' you a number, and takin' 'way your name.

PistolPackinMama

@HeyThatsMyBike I thought it was My blood runs cold/ my memory has just been sold/ Angel doing Semaphore for the longest time. An embarrassingly long time.

Bittersweet

@frigwiggin My mother-in-law once thought it was "Dirty Deeds, and the G*ddamn Chink" and was really horrified until my husband set her straight.

carrbourbon

I need recommendations for places to buy (online) a simple brown leather purse for $40 or less. I want no tassels, no exterior pouches. Simple, can wear with anything kind of gig. Also looking for sites to buy cheap-ish dresses and skirts for grad school that don't appear cheap-ish. Thoughts?? Happy Friday!

laurel

@carrbourbon: I just bought a near-mint second-hand Coach Patricia bag--tan, leather, no fuss design--on Ebay for about $50 with shipping. There are lots there, and on Etsy. Some would say they're boring but I love how simple and bulletproof they are.

laurel

@laurel: I regret the term "bulletproof" now.

wee_ramekin

A really nice thing happened last night.

A little backstory:

Back when Avatar: The Last Airbender was still coming out with new episodes on Nickelodeon, I got hooked. I was just futzing around with the remote once day when I came across an episode, and I proceeded to watch every episode I could DVR. I mourned when the series ended, refused to watch the live-action movie (white-washed cast, anyone? UGH), and vaguely stalked the Wikipedia page. I had read that the creators were going to come up with a new show, but at the time that I found this out, production was still years away.

Flash-forward to the present day, and I've mostly forgotten about Avatar. That is, until I keep hearing about this "Legends of Korra" show on AO3. I Google it and realize that it's the follow-up to Avatar: The Last Airbender, scream so loud I scare the bejeezus out of my pets, and furiously start hunting for episodes online. Unfortunately, the first season just aired, so Nickelodeon doesn't have all the episodes on their site, but there's nothing on Netflix either.

I prepare myself for a period of mournful patience (I am, after all, a huge fan of Sherlock, and one learns to wait in that fandom). I try to push thoughts of Legends from my mind.

Last night, I went over to a friend's house for dinner, and while we're looking through her Netflix queue, I notice that she and her roommates have Avatar in the history. I commend my friend on her taste; she and one of the roommates roll their eyes and tell me that it's the other roommate who's an Avatar-fanboy. He and I start excitedly talking about Avatar and Legends of Korra, and I start wailing that I haven't seen any of the Korra episodes and can't find them anywhere.

Whereupon, he goes into his room, and comes out with a USB drive of the entire. first. season.

Guess who has two thumbs and isn't leaving her house all weekend?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

THIS RAMEKIN.

Audley

@wee_ramekin Yay! You'll have to tell us what you think when you emerge from your marathon.

runner in the garden

@wee_ramekin aaaaaaaaa we just finished watching it in my house. Not to rain on your parade (no spoilers but you may want to skip this part anyway), but I have to agree with the people talking about it here earlier: it's pretty underwhelming. I wanted so hard to love it, and the writing was such a let-down!

laurel

@wee_ramekin: With that USB drive, you might be said to have three thumbs.

adorable-eggplant

@wee_ramekin I have no idea how I missed this! But I love Legend of Korra! I read about it while stumbling through feminist comic blogs, and it really did not disappoint. I had never seen the original series, but now I am watching all of them too in a bleary marathon of happiness.

Annnd I started a blog for my fanart, because I love it that much: http://sushicart.org/blog

So far the two series are very different, so maybe that's why so many people were disappointed? I loved it though. :)

wee_ramekin

@everyone UPDATE (w/ spoiler alerts): I finished the entire series at 8:30 this morning, and now my stomach feels knotted and nauseous in that way that a stomach is wont to feel when you don't stick with its sleep schedule or give it enough rest. Poor tum :(.

You guys, I loved it. Absolutely, posi-tootly, loved it. Here is a transcript of the texts that I sent my friend's roommate last night while I was watching Korra. He was on a camping trip, so I knew I wasn't going to wake him up, and even though I knew he wouldn't answer, I'm a gal whose media-watching experience is always heightened by being able to comment on it with (at?) someone else. Here we go:

4:34 AM - Fucking MAKO...who turns down the *Avatar*, GOD?!
5:18 AM - Ahaaaaa..."Cabbage Corp". Awesome.
5:58 AM - FUCKING TARLOCK!!
6:22 AM - Woah. Adult Sokka gives me feelings in my bathing suit parts...
6:48 AM - Is Amon...Yakone? No...he must be dead...Hmmm, the plot thickens. Also, I feel kinda meh about Mako and think that both Korra and Asami deserve better.
7:02 AM - General Iroh has Zuko's voice! Ah! Now THERE'S a man for Korra...or Asami!
7:21 AM - Ahhh! Young Amon has Aang's voice!
7:54 AM - And that, kids, is what we call a "deus ex machina", big time.
8:29 AM - #Tenzin sigh Now I have to wait until *next year* for more episodes :'(.

I thought the world that the creators imagined for Korra was interesting and beautifully rendered, and I loved the idea of the Equalist movement as I thought it had many parallels to today's political and social climate.

I absolutely ADORED Korra, and I adored that I adored her even though she's not my favorite type of archetypal "Strong Female Character" (SFC). She's brash, kind of rude, very physical, impulsive, earnest and a bit selfish at times. I tend to like my SFCs brainier and a bit snarkier. I loved that I was given a strong female character that I didn't necessarily completely identify with, but who I was invested in and who I rooted for unconditionally. I like seeing more than one representation of strong women in the media, and I fucking LOVE that there is such a BAMF-y character like this for younger girls AND boys to look up to.

@runner in the garden I can see why fans of Avatar might have felt let down by Korra. The plot development does feel a little rushed. I was surprised that they tied up the whole Amon conundrum in one season; a problem like that could have easily taken up three seasons the way the fight against Fire Lord Ozai did in Avatar. From what I've read of Korra, the creators didn't know at the time whether or not they'd be allowed more than one season, so I think that explains why things felt more rushed and why all the strings are tied up in a neat little bow by the end of the season. In that vein, I was underwhelmed by the season finale and the whole deus ex machina aspect of Korra meeting Avatar Aang (CUE HOTTIE ALERT OH MY FUCKING GOD, by the way) and having him restore all her Avatar-ly powers. I was like "Uh...really? That's...it?". I was looking forward to a second season with Korra having only the power to Airbend, and that issue perhaps making her a more spiritual and compassionate person to the plight of non-Benders. But, like I said, I think that the creators didn't know whether or not they'd be greenlighted for a second season, so they had to tie everything up neatly in the finale.

Hnnngh, there are so many more elements of the plot and characters that I'd like to get into, but this post is already about two feet long, so I'll only jump back on here if someone replies and wants to talk Korra. I especially have a lot of conflicting feelings about Mako. One thing I will say, is that I definitely dream about a threesome that includes me, Adult Aang and Adult Sokka. Because *holy shit*, you guys. Holy. Shit.

adorable-eggplant

@wee_ramekin I will talk about Korra alll day long! I'm glad you loved it, and yeah I wish they'd had more heads up about the multiple seasons/you don't have to solve every problem right this instant. I am not a huge Mako fan myself. But maybe he can have some introspection and get it together and then everyone can realize that they're still maybe too good for him.

Great synopsis by the way. :)

wee_ramekin

@adorable-eggplant

"...and then everyone can realize that they're still maybe too good for him." HAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahahaha, that is awesome.

I spent all night last night researching what the rest of the world thinks about LoK, and I am proud to say that there are plenty of people out there who don't like Mako.

I liked your blag! Would it be weird if I gave you my e-mail address and we G-chatted about our Feelings about LoK and A:TLAB?

avoidmadness

I had a job interview last Friday, got called back for the 2nd one Monday, had it Tuesday with the doctor (it's at a hospital. I really want this job but no one has contacted me yet, it's been 3 days since the 2nd interview, does this mean I'm out? :/ help.

Tam
Tam

@avoidmadness you should read ask a manager, but to answer your question, 3 days is nothing in *employer time*, just wait for a bit, and if they didn't gave you a time frame period you can send them an e-mail within a week or so.

lalaland

@avoidmadness Ahh all these interview comments are breaking my heart. I had a final round interview last Thursday, people responded! to my thank you letters and said they'd get back this week. I followed up and they said they will now get to me next week. :(

It does not mean you're out! 3 days really is nothing, especially for large companies/bureaucracies like a hospital. If you haven't already written a thank you letter, email them, thank them and ask what their time frame is.

billie_crusoe

@avoidmadness I just got an offer from a job I was supposed to hear from 2 1/2 weeks ago, so 3 days is nothing; don't give up yet!

Xanthophyllippa

@avoidmadness Have you sent them a quick thank-you email? Don't ask at all about the status of your application, but just thank them for taking the time to meet with you again and that you're looking forward to discussing the position more, or some such. As long as it's polite and not presumptuous or pushy, it won't hurt to float yourself across their desk one more time.

allofthecrafts

Has anyone seen anything about that new movie "Bachelorette" that's coming out soon? Rebel Wilson! I love her! (crossing my fingers for a plus-size leading lady in a movie that isn't all about her being fat)
Feelings, pinners??

aubrey!

@allofthecrafts It looks good! I've been interested in it since I read about on The AV Club (I can't do links, but it's here: http://www.avclub.com/articles/nathan-rabin-sundance-2012-day-six,68252/) which has the sentence, "Bachelorette gets off to a blisteringly nasty, coked-up start." Yay?

Valley Girl

Pinners! I've missed you the last few months. I spent the spring in DC doing an Senate internship and now I'm back back to Cali Cali and have just graduated with my bachelor's at 29 and feel like an academic success for the first time since the disaster that was high school. Wasn't on The Pin much for awhile but I'm back, baby! If anybody has any advice about grad school, espech about the GRE or about MSW programs I'm desperate for it.

As for this week, I "met" Dear Coquette via someone's comment and have been burning thru the archives. I wish graduating college had conferred to me that kind of wisdom.

PistolPackinMama

@Valley Girl Congrats! That's awesome. Yay, graduatin'.

sophi

YOU GUYS, I have not been on the hairpin in an ENTIRE WEEK because I went out of town and I fell super behind on internet! There is so much to catch up on!

It's worth it, though, because I got to go to Seattle & Olympia and watch my best friend get married! I made best friends with all the other bridesmaids and got super drunk and talked about Sleater Kinney a lot and made people dance with me. The actual wedding was last Saturday (I've been home [Texas] since Wednesday), and I still feel like I am not recovered from it 100%.

(Also, if anyone is planning on being a bridesmaid any time in the near future, here is an inspirational picture of the grocery store trip we took on the morning of the wedding: https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/376517_715254622474_1856264715_n.jpg
Lots of booze, pizza, cheesecake, and as many leftover poppers from 4th of July as our little arms could carry. I'm really good at this bridesmaid thing.)

New Commenter Name

@sophi
What? There is a piece missing from the cake?

sophi

@Curiouser and curiouser I would not have been surprised if we had eaten a whole quarter of the cake before getting to the register, but actually it is just chocolate and so therefore darker than the rest of it. Optical illusion!

Rock and Roll Ken Doll

@sophi
Did you get a picture of yourself next to Sleater-Kinney Road? Because I do that every time I go to Olympia, which has been twice!

sophi

@josiahg I did not, but only because I didn't have a car and other people were driving me around the whole time and we were super busy. I did get really excited every time I drove by it, though! Somehow I managed to only go on my "Carrie Brownstein is a perfect human being" rant TWICE during the whole weekend (um I am crazy in love with Carrie Brownstein and literally any mention of her will set me off and it can get KIND OF EMBARRASSING).

I also got really excited on the drive from Olympia back to Seattle, since there was a sign for "South Tacoma Way", which is a Neko Case song.

Sea Ermine

Does anyone have good recommendations for cute affordable bras in weird sizes?
I wear a 30D and so far have been ordering from brastop.co.uk because even with shipping and handling to the US it's cheaper than the $50-$70 bras that tend to come in my size.

But my problem is that a lot of them are way too high cut for me. I have very tear shaped breasts (full on the bottom only) and so regular and even slightly low cut bras end up looking full coverage on me and it's extremely unflattering, especially since not only are my breasts tear shaped they are also quite small. The bras also have straps much wider than I really need. Does anyone have some good recommendations for low cut bras with a wide range of band and cup sizes? Or should I just give up and try and learn to...I dunno, make my own bras?

sophi

@Sea Ermine I don't have recommendations for specific brands, but aside from brastop, Figleaves, Bare Necessities, and ASOS are all really good about having a wide range of sizes, a good clearance section, and occasional coupons. Before you buy anything, you should definitely go to http://www.bratabase.com/ because it is really helpful for figuring out how specific bras fit. People post their measurements and even pictures, so you can really have an idea of what you're getting into. (Also, once you've figured out what size you wear in a particular brand, you can search for that brand on ebay and find REALLY good deals.)

Sea Ermine

@sophi That website looks really useful! I'd been using a similar one but it was in polish and sometimes the google translate results were so weird that I couldn't tell whether they were recommending or complaining about the bra in question. Thanks!

Sugar Kane's Hip Flask

@Sea Ermine You could try Debenhams.com? They have a lot of different ranges, usually do good sales and I've had luck with finding not-the- usual sizes. Oh and they ship to the U.S!

Atheist Watermelon

OMG, please tell me that at least one of you beautiful people:

a) are either living in NYC, moving to NYC, or know someone moving to NYC who:

b) needs a (nice, fun, tidy but not neat-freaky, pianisty) roommate ASAP

c) lives on the ground floor OR lives in a building with a relatively large (doesn't need to be gigantic) elevator, because

d) you really want to live with someone (cough, me) who has a beautiful 7' Steinway that I need to bring here (I promise, I'm really good, I make a living in NYC performing, and I never practice at weird hours- never before 10 am or after 8 pm, and even those hours can be tailored to my roommates'/ neighbors' wants/ needs)

...? getting a bit desperate- I've been trying my darndest to find a one BR, found the perfect one, but got screwed over last week by an evil landlord and so am back to square one and I gotta be outta here by Aug. 1st! aaahhh!

Any advice you might have is so gratefully appreciated! And of course let me know if any of the above sounds appealing/ perfect/ your dream come true/ horrifying/ disgusting/ etc. etc. Just thought this might be the perfect place to find a fantastic roommate.

BadWolf

@Didldidi Man, I live in a shite studio, and I am sorry, because it would be awesome to have a roommate with mad piano skillz and a pretty instrument. Hope you find something soon!

Atheist Watermelon

P.S. I have all of my paperwork together so am ready to pounce on a place!

charmcity

I met a ton of new, wonderful women over the weekend at a bachelorette extravaganza! I also made out with a random dude on the sidewalk, heh. This week, I had two medium-to-mediocre OKC dates and email-flirted with another one (my favorite phase; the actual meetup, should it even occur, will be fraught and/or disappointing.) So it was a good week for new people, and now I am going to do ALL OF THE ERRANDS this weekend!

cd
cd

any Gaslight Anthem fans? their new album is streaming on NPR. thoughts? http://www.npr.org/2012/07/10/156551726/first-listen-the-gaslight-anthem-handwritten#playlist

The Lady of Shalott

I'm tired of living with my parents. They are pleasant enough people, but my mom questions every single thing I do and my dad is a raging alcoholic. It is frustrating to argue with someone who's absolutely wasted.

I don't have any illusions that living with my boyfriend is going to be a bed of roses, but it's much much much easier to have arguments with someone who's on the level and wants to work things out RATHER than arguing with someone who's so drunk he can barely form words.

Cat named Virtute

@The Lady of Shalott :-( Hugssss.

EpWs

@The Lady of Shalott Hugs, girl. You'll be packing up before you know it!

adorable-eggplant

@The Lady of Shalott Oh dear. I am so sorry that you have to deal with/be in that situation.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Lady of Shalott Well, shit. Big hugs and some chocolate cake to you. Been there, friend.

PistolPackinMama

@The Lady of Shalott Ugh. I am sorry. :( But sooon!

EpWs

HAIRPIN. I am moving, again, for the second time this summer, and hopefully for the last time for a while. After the last time, I have wised up and have hired movers, BUT I'm still cheap, so I spent today shuffling carfuls (carsful?) of boxes to the new place so they don't have as much to do tomorrow. I am tired and sticky and am currently, at 9pm, eating my second meal of the day, and the first meal that I actually have to chew (lunch was a smoothie). SO. Tell me your moving stories! Anyone else moving right now? When can I finally relax?

Xanthophyllippa

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher One time when I moved I was so stressed out - classes starting, unpacking boxes, trying to figure out if I should explain to the new roomie why I cringed every time she used the term "lesbo" to refer to her mother - I went to Target and bought, like, 18 more pair of underwear so I didn't have to take time to do laundry. Does that count?

Megasus

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Oh ho ho hoooooo. I have a pretty big doozy of a moving story, not sure I've told it here before? Basically when I moved to Toronto with my ex, we shared a truck with his friend. Oh, and we also moved at New Year's. I was against this for obvious reasons but the ex was adamant that we move at the end of January. So anyway, he also decided to fuck off home for Christmas, leaving me to do all the packing. I was basically in tears at one point feeling so overwhelmed, and told him so over MSN, and he was like "Oh! I'll come back and help." BUT INSTEAD he came home a day later than he was supposed to. His Dad was with him because he was driving the truck. So I didn't have the kitchen, bathroom or any of his office stuff packed at this point, and it was the day before the move. I told him to pack his office and the kitchen while I packed the bathroom and tried to get more organized. I went to bed thinking that this was being done. Meanwhile his friend, who was supposed to have gotten the truck the night before and already have been packed in it, did not get the truck. The next day I find out that a)I have to leave at noon because mine and the dog's ride was leaving at noon. I find out around 10 THAT NONE OF THE KITCHEN IS PACKED. So I am frantically trying to do this, but it obviously doesn't get done by the time I have to leave, so I go "fuck it, he made this mess, he gets to lie in it." So I get to Toronto and get the keys. They do not show up until 1am because apparently there was all this extra shit to pack. Everything of course gets blamed on me. The friend we shared a truck with basically shuns me after that. But I don't know what all this extra stuff is, because when I unpack the boxes, there are only three, maybe four that I didn't pack. He also leaves a TV, my wiimotes, and instead brings a bunch of garbage.
This entire episode is basically the straw that broke our relationship for good.
Although I did feel better when I told my grandparents this story and my grandpa basically wanted to beat the crap out of the ext.

EpWs

@Xanthophyllippa Yes, absolutely. Dang, yo.
@Megano! DANG, YO. That is just awful. I'm glad you didn't stay with him for (hopefully) much longer. He sounds like a winner.*

*Note: not a winner.

redheaded&crazy

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I don't have any personal moving stories but there was an awesome terrible post on the billfold about the cost of moving

what i learned from that post is: good call on getting movers!

EpWs

@redheaded&crazie Good lord. Yes, movers, yes. Mine were AMAZING--I had moved a lot of my stuff yesterday, so there were only about a dozen boxes and my furniture left. They packed it all up, moved it, and unpacked it in two hours flat. I paid (we can talk about money here, right? This is a safe space?) $160 and threw in a $40 tip, because these guys hauled ASS. No breaks, very nice, generally awesome.

So now I'm unpacking and chilling and making a list of things to buyyyyy.

HeyThatsMyBike

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher That is extremely reasonable!!!

EpWs

@HeyThatsMyBike I thought so! And I hope that was a respectable tip--I don't know what's standard with movers, but I was really pleased with these guys and hope that my tip showed that. (I'll probably also call/email the company and tell the boss how happy I was as well.)

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

WELP i work 6 days next week, and nearly all of them closing (out a little after 10, not home til 1:30) so if anyone wants to grab a drink with me while i wait for the 12:10 train that'd be really cool!!!!!!!

I promise im not terrible!!!!

Sugar Kane's Hip Flask

My brother is visiting me for the week which is great because I now have someone to talk to! I had kind of forgotten how to do that. And the only person I know in the city went kinda weird on me this week when I had to cancel our plans at the last minute and then sent me a passive-aggressive-y email today but at least she has stopped ignoring me, which is good, I guess...

adorable-eggplant

@Sugar Kane's Hip Flask Ugh passive aggressive emails. I prefer aggressive aggressive emails: if you've got something to say, say it in all caps with multiple fonts. Bring. it. on.

Sugar Kane's Hip Flask

@adorable-eggplant Damn straight. Also different font sizes...because sometimes you need to shout some words louder than others.

baked bean

So, I dislike wearing bras. I'm super small, it's more comfortable without. The only thing they do is keep my nipples from visibly poking my shirt. So far I'm only brave enough to go without if I'm wearing layers (works way better in winter, not in this heat wave of a summer) or a big top, which I only have like one or two of.
I'd love to just burn the damn things, but could people at work be horrified by that? I work in an office in which dress is casual and I don't see clients. I just foresee some kind of awkward conversation in which my boss tells me I need to start wearing bras.

baked bean

@baked bean I'm also excited to move to my new city of choice after college, because there's a significant hippy population and I know I'll be ok.

Sugar Kane's Hip Flask

@baked bean I can't decide whether wearing something plain and dark or printed and dark would work better for nipple distraction/camouflage. I'd definitely go for something with volume and an un-clingy fabric. Personally I see no problem with nipples (everyone's got some!)but some people aren't down with them (boo to those people).

Inkling

@baked bean
Ooh, same here! Here's what I've learned.
Shirts with small stripes/patterns are effective at minimizing nipple facetime, as well as form-fitting and loose/wrinkly/ruched clothing. Jersey dresses look super sexy. I personally enjoy lower cut necklines, otherwise it's just a wall of fabric, and then some nipples, and then you're like "are they level with each other or what".
Also, if you ever feel uncomfortable, pretend you're justifying your discomfort to an alien learning about human culture. The alien's gonna be like "sooo this part of your body is inherently ...bad? The kinda cool part that is all about your power as a reproductive creature? And even though you're covering it up, it's bad to kinda see the functional part of it? But just on you? Not on a dude?" And you're gonna be like NEVERMIND alien, I am changing human culture right now.

maybe partying will help

@Inkling

This is maybe the greatest answer to anything ever.