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Friday, July 6, 2012

22

And They're STILL Not Empty? Come on, People.

If the former homeowner were an "alcoholic," wouldn't those antique bottles of whiskey in the attic be empty? "Only users lose drugs," or whatever the alcohol version of that is.



22 Comments / Post A Comment

fondue with cheddar

‘In my mind, it’s not what they’re really worth monetarily,’ Fite said about his find. ‘It’s the fact they’re part of the history of St. Joe [Joseph].’

The history is cool and all, but if it were me it would totally be about the money. DUDE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Beericle

@jen325
Yep. If that other bottle sold for $100,000 um, who gives a fuck about the history of St. Joe? YOU COULD PAY SOMEONE TO PUT THAT A/C IN YOUR HOUSE, BRO!

fondue with cheddar

@Beericle Or buy a house that has AC already in it, maybe! (Or maybe not; I don't know what housing prices are like in Missouri.)

mattewmc

you're so creative! ;) x@t

sudden but inevitable betrayal

To be fair, he only said that the previous owner had a "drinking problem." I think we can all agree that forgetting about your whiskey stash presents a problem with one's drinking.

noReally

>> wouldn't those antique bottles of whiskey in the attic be empty?

That, exactly. When my great aunt died my father got her books. A moving company was hired to deal with them, and besides dozens of boxes of books, they delivered dozens of boxes of empty gin bottles she had hidden behind the books, in years as an incorrigible sot.

But also, lots of Nancy Drew from the 30s! And the Edith Lavell Girls Scouts series, which for some reason I adored, and a lot of other old girl series books. So, Thanks a lot Aunt M. Sorry none of the sanitariums did the trick. I can't have been fun to be you.

Daisy Razor

@noReally My father tore down the house of a woman who'd hidden thousands of empty, Prohibition-era vanilla extract bottles in the walls. Can you imagine drinking vanilla extract?

sudden but inevitable betrayal

Also, I clicked on another story about Halle Berry and her kiddo on a pony ride (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2169689/Halle-Berry-daughter-Nahla-enjoy-day-horse-riding-park.html) and am kind of fascinated by the set-up. The pony has a little muzzle kind of thing to keep it from chomping any fingers and it just sort of moseys along through a chute? I've never seen such a thing!

fondue with cheddar

@sudden but inevitable betrayal Did you see the whiteboard artist?! I lost the link but it was pretty amazing.

schrodingers_cat

@sudden but inevitable betrayal The muzzle thing is something I've never seen before, and I've spent a lot of time working with ponies + kids. At one place they just put cavessons on the ponies and yanked them really tight (I did NOT agree with this, THOSE THINGS WERE WAY TOO TIGHT).

iceberg

whe n my dad was a young dude, his alcoholic neighbor broke in to his house and tried to drink a bottle of rancid cooking oil that had been there since my dad moved in. he came home to find the window jimmied open, the bottle sitting on the window sill and oil spilt (spat?) all over the counter.

Nutmeg

Only boozers booze booze

(the third time you write 'booze' is when it stops looking like a word)

Nutmeg

@Nutmeg And I think if you find a stash of Old Crow bottles (full or not) it is a fair chance the former owner was alcoholic

meetapossum

"Hmm. Well, see, here's the thing on this. It's a Johnny Reb bottle, early 1970s, one of the J & R Whiskey 'Liquor Lads.' Two books of green stamps, if I'm not mistaken."
"Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's a very, very old figurine."
"No, it's a liquor bottle. See? That'll make your bull run."
"Well...I guess it'll always be a monument to Grandma's secret drinking problem."

Tragically Ludicrous

@meetapossum yesssss

whateverlolawants

I once found a ton of empty beer bottles and cans from the 1950s out in the woods at a Girl Scout camp. That part of the property had been a run-down road called Shank Lane (yes!) back then, and I assume that spot was where the residents went to booze up.

whateverlolawants
sudden but inevitable betrayal

@whateverlolawants Yeahhh...

fondue with cheddar

@whateverlolawants I hope she gets scholarships out the wazoo.

Thebeaconinthedistance

You know, you CAN be an alcoholic in recovery who doesn't drink. That correction was as offensive as saying perhaps that feminists are joyless and never shave. Just saying.

Besides, I kind of applaud the guy for being smart enough to carefully buy, store and seal multiple bottles of liquor for future use in case of prohibition.

whateverlolawants

@Thebeaconinthedistance In the story, the previous owner apparently left to go to the sanitarium for treatment, so unfortunately there's no indication he was in recovery while he lived there. But I get your larger, overall point.

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