Quantcast

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

336

The Comment Section for Every Article Ever Written About Artificial Sweeteners

Or, at least this one.

1. Why doesn't this article talk about Stevia? It comes from a plant.

2. Paragraph 19, dumbass. Also, so does hemlock.

3. What about Truvia?

4. Truvia comes from Cargill.

5. I sweeten my coffee with manuka honey, which cures leg ulcers.

6. I sweeten my coffee with blackstrap molasses, which is kind of disgusting, but gives me an icebreaker at parties.

7. I sweeten my coffee with pure agave nectar, which is different from just "agave nectar" in a variety of ways other than price.

8. I drink yerba mate, sweetened only by the smiles of the disadvantaged children I work with every day.

9. Shut UP, #8.

10. Which one is aspartame? Is that Splenda?

11. No, that's Equal. The blue one. Splenda is the yellow one. Sweet 'N Low is the pink one.

12. Doesn't the pink one give you cancer?

13. Only if you're a rat, and they forcefeed you twelve gallons of it through a hose.

14. Which one is cyclamates?

15. You don't have that here. They have that in Canada, and they put it in the Canadian pink one, because of the cancer from the American pink one.

16. I thought that was just if you're a rat? Are Canadians rats?

17. I use Splenda, because Dr. Atkins says it's like magical rearranged sugar.

18. ATKINS DIED OF A HEART ATTACK. EAT ONLY RAW FRUIT, WHICH IS NOT AT ALL SUGARY EVER.

19. HE DIED FROM A FALL AND YOU'RE PROBABLY FAT ANYWAY AND WANT TO MARRY A CARROT.

20. Isn't a bigger problem that things are all too sweet now? Shouldn't we all just eat dirt instead, and think of food as fuel?

21. SHUT UP, #20.

22. Aspartame gives me migraines.

23. Aspartame gives me panic attacks.

24. Aspartame made me gay.

25. I used to drink twenty-six cans of Diet Coke every morning, and when I switched to water, I stopped beating my wife.

26. I hate when I see fat people drinking Diet Coke. It's like, who are you kidding?

27. I hate when I see fat people drinking real Coke. It's like, are you not even TRYING?

28. I hate when I see fat people.

29. I hate fat people.

30. I hate White Power Bill. IS THAT MOVIE EVER HAPPENING? IS THE NETFLIX THING REAL?

31. I drink Mexican Coke.



336 Comments / Post A Comment

SarahP

Oh man, I really want cotton candy right now.

KatPruska

@SarahP I saw that image and I was all, "Fuck yeah cotton candy!"

I am composing a resignation email to an unreasonable person and I'm so terrified of hitting send, because then the phone calls are going to start and I just can't with the crazy today. Mmmmm...cotton candy will make it all better...

KatPruska

@KatPruska Okay, I just sent it. Time to go do the work I just quit and ignore my cell phone. And then, sugar!

SarahP

@KatPruska Oh man, congratulations! Also, where are you getting cotton candy?! I wannnnnt sommmme

smidge

@SarahP Congratulations!! So brave.

Bittersweet

@KatPruska Wait 'til the end of the day to hit send, because then you can go home and ignore all the crazy until tomorrow.

Ask a Master of Passive-Aggressive Electronic Communication...

iceberg

@SarahP In Australia, cotton candy is called fairy floss.

KatPruska

@SarahP Aww, thanks. It helps to know that other people have a hard time with stuff like this. Less, "Oh, man, I can't even be a grown-up and own my decision like the fabulous 'Pinners would!" and more, "Stuff is hard for all! Yay! I'm not a freak!"

(And I actually have a cheap, makes-tiny-portions, PERSONAL cotton candy maker for when I want to spend 20 minutes melting sugar into string. THAT is how committed I am to cotton candy!)

KatPruska

@Bittersweet Fortunately I rarely ever see this person face-to-face, so avoiding my phone and email will do the trick! Good tip, though. I am filing it away.

SarahP

@KatPruska WHERE DID YOU BUY THIS AMAZING CONTRAPTION.

No, wait, I don't want to know.

WAIT, YES I DO

KatPruska

@SarahP Step 1 - Realize you're never going to grow up. Step 2 - Go to overstock.com and search for "nostalgia electrics sugar-free hard candy cotton candy maker" (Don't worry about the sugar-free part; they're just being inclusive). Step 3 - Wait by mailbox, wondering where you went wrong, and Step 4 - Stop caring because now you can make cotton candy out of crushed candy canes if you want to (I recommend getting some genuine flossing sugar)

SarahP

@KatPruska I have already accomplished Step 1, wish me luck on the others. Thanks!

Verity

@iceberg In the UK, it's called candy floss. Halfway between the two!

missupright

@Verity And in France it's called barbe-a-papa i.e. Daddy's Beard. LANGUAGES.

MoonBat

@missupright Okayyyyyy.....ew. That's disturbing, and also gross. Especially after the previous "the best time I found a stranger's pubes on my closet shelf" story.

Douglas-Guerreiro

@SarahP lol, isso mesmo this is it Assistir filmes online

stavros

powerful and easy.@m

wharrgarbl

I hate White Power Bill, and splenda. But for different reasons.

nyikint

@wharrgarbl

*gasping for air after being stabbed* I'm...white...

Jane Marie

A friend of my mom's pronounces it "uh-SPAR-tuh-mee." She also says "ass-ih-TAH-mi-no-fin."

Cavendish

@Jane Marie Wait. It's not pronounced "uh-spar-tuh-mee"?

wharrgarbl

@Cavendish ah-spar-teym, according to several online dictionaries. I've never heard anyone say it aloud, though.

tessamae

@wharrgarbl I heard it spoken aloud when my doctor said "Seriously, lay off the ass-par-tame, it's making you crazy."

To which I responded: "You will have to pry this can of Diet Coke from my cold, dead, calcium-deprived hands."

stonefruit

@Jane Marie wait wait wait do I know your mom? For years I thought it was uh-SPAR-tuh-mee, *and* I also said ASS-ih-TAH-min-OH-fin.

I also thought vicinity was pronounced vincity, and the town of Billerica in MA was pronounced Bill-Erica (like, you know, a married couple, Bill and Erica).

AmandathePanda

@Jane Marie Wait. I thought I was good at words. That's not how you say either of those words? What? Dammit.

wharrgarbl

@AmandathePanda You don't have to be good at made-up words.

Bittersweet

@stonefruit Mass. towns are basically named so we can make fun of out-of-staters' pronunciation. See also: Peabody, Gloucester.

(For years I thought 'segue' was pronounced 'segg' because I'd only ever read it in books.)

anachronistique

@Bittersweet A friend of mine from out of state had a meltdown over the pronunciation of Worcester. It was beautiful.

(I thought khaki was pronounced "cocky." Good times.)

Cat named Virtute

@Bittersweet Wait, so how is Peabody pronounced?! Gloucester is at least GLOU-ster, right?

anachronistique

@Cat named Virtute PEE-biddy and Glosster.

tessamae

@anachronistique Sure gives a saucy new meaning to khaki pants! Bada bing!

And you're talking that Peabody pronunciation just in relation to Mass, right? Because I've never heard it said that way?? Like I sure didn't watch the ducks at the Peebiddy in Memphis.

stonefruit

@Bittersweet I am *from* Massachusetts! I just hadn't ever heard anyone say Billerica out loud.

@anachronistique my property law professor made me pronounce Dorchester for him in class once, because he wanted to see if he could get me to go "dot-dot-dot." He couldn't, but only because I'm from a snooty suburb :)

Cat named Virtute

@anachronistique Glosster makes sense, but -BIDDY? So confused. Also, @stonefruit, I really want to know Dorchester is pronounced! Is it Dorster? Dorkester? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR STATE?

(not that I should talk. I live in Quebec, which is its own amazing pit of pronunciation. Longueuil is Long-gay with a French accent. When I go visit my grandpa I say I'm going on a long gay adventure).

stonefruit

@Cat named Virtute I gather that people who actually grew up in Dorchester pronounce it "DOT-cha-stah," which, when sped up, can come out sounding like "DOT-dot-dot" to the untrained ear. (And I have met people who refer to "Dot" and we both knew they were talking about Dorchester.) No one in my family has ever said it like that, though, and my mom worked in Dorchester for like 7 years.

Lenora Jane

@Cat named Virtute Everything and nothing is wrong with it, simultaneously. Kind of like Quebec.

Quinciferous

@anachronistique Ok so! The word "khaki" is a colonialism -- it comes from a Hindi/Urdu word meaning earth-colored. Annnnnnd guess how you pronounce it, more or less???

That's right. "Cocky."

[If you aspirate the first "c" to sound like "kh" then you're even more authentic.]

Xanthophyllippa

@Bittersweet Also p'TUCKit, otherwise known as Pawtucket to anyone outside of RI.

mackneo

@Jane Marie thanks for the article, I liked what you said. so continue with this beautiful work! Assistir Filmes Online

sarah girl

I hate how hard I laughed at #25.

Also, my sister-in-law is a Splenda fiend, and she recently put it this way: "Whatever, I'd rather get some maaaybe possibly cancer or something that doesn't have any concrete proof than definitely get diabetes."

tessamae

@Sarah H. Your sister-in-law sounds awesome!

stuffisthings

@Sarah H. I bet she vaccinates her kids too. How clueless.

themmases

@Sarah H. I love Splenda too and this is pretty much my reasoning. Also, using real sugar would put the ceiling on my coffee and iced tea consumption at a height I'm just not willing to live with.

miss buenos aires

@Sarah H. This may be apocryphal, but I heard that artificial sweeteners can also lead to diabetes, because when you taste something sweet, even if it isn't sugar, your brain sends the signal to your pancreas to start pumping out insulin. But I haven't seen this mentioned in comments, so as I said, maybe apocryphal.

PistolPackinMama

@miss buenos aires I have no idea if that is true or not, but it would suck for the non-sugar-having persons of the world. :(

A while ago, fake sugar started tasting odd. So I thought, eh, take extra insulin and drink the real stuff. And sugary drinks didn't taste like I remembered pre-odd diet drinks tasting.

Then I was bummed because, sometimes Some Sort of Coke is required, such as when one has movie popcorn and is at The Avengers.

Then I found a movie theater in my area that serves beer, which also tastes great with movie popcorn. And that was a solution I could live with.

Whhhhyyyyy, weird flavors.

HeyThatsMyBike

@miss buenos aires I also heard that. I might even be able to find the source! And it is something like because the actual sugar never comes your pancreas is confused and just keeps pumping out even more insulin?

But anyway, point still made and something's going to kill each and every one of us someday. Happy thoughts! ENJOY YOUR LUNCH!

HeyThatsMyBike

@miss buenos aires Here's the article. I remembered the insulin part totally incorrectly. So yeah, everything makes us die.

NeverOddOrEven

@PistolPackinMama
Thread Jack!

http://www.xojane.com/fashion/proper-purses-pistol-packin-mammas

Whoooooooo!!!!!!

PistolPackinMama

@NeverOddOrEven I... I... On the one hand have no need for such an item, since I think guns are scary (name- nicked from a WWII bomber, not from Westerns). On the other hand, I could see how having your handgun lost in the depths of your bag, down among the granola bar crumbs and receipts and such could really put a damper on a woman's self defense options.

(Pistol Packin' Mama, what's in your bag?)

HeyThatsMyBike

@PistolPackinMama It would be amazing if you did that feature and you had a WWII bomber in your bag.

miss buenos aires

@HeyThatsMyBike Yep, so we should just drink whatever we like the taste of best, is my philosophy.

NeverOddOrEven

@PistolPackinMama
I'm not really a fan of guns in general, but I've finally been to a range which was a blast.
I've shot at least 3 different machine guns! Movies lie!

KeLynn

@Sarah H. - Uh, I kind of love that. I am going to steal that from her and use it when I get lectured.

@miss buenos aires - I have heard that too. I was *about* to comment and say something to the effect of "well I solve that problem by only drinking diet sodas while I'm actually eating food, so my body does have something to digest at that time" (which has pretty much been my plan since I read that info).....but I just realized I've been drinking Mio all day long at work, whether I'm eating or not, and totally not thinking about it.

Ophelia

@PistolPackinMama My dad's grandmother, whenever anyone asked her what was in her (large, black, leather) purse, would say, "A million dollars and a gun!" and then glare at them.

Pop Pop

The first time I tried Stevia I didn't really pay attention to the directions and dumped a regular spoonful into my tea! It was super gross and bitter, and as a result has turned me off to sweeteners in general.

rasko

@Pop Pop ... what are you supposed to do?

sarah girl

@rasko Stevia is a loootttt sweeter than sugar/other artificial sweeteners, so they recommend adding much less than you might think you need.

Pop Pop

@rasko Since it's highly concentrated sweetness power you're only supposed to put like 25 mg or something as a replacement for one normal teaspoon of sugar...they even provide a special scoop to measure out precise miniglobs of it. Of course, being who I am, I ignored the miniscoop and ended up with waaaay too much plant sugar.

Faintly Macabre

@Pop Pop I tried it in normal amounts for a little while, and even then I found it had a weird/bitter aftertaste. Refined sugar for me!

rasko

@Pop Pop hahahaha! That's incredible. I would also ignore the instructions. My coworkers use saccharin (?) which (at least here...) comes in a bottle that you click to dispense tiny little pellets. The coffees in Spain are also tiny, but I think it's a similar idea.

Pop Pop

@rasko I think I've seen those before! They struck me as kinda bland. Then again my tastebuds are probably screwed up anyways haha.

@Faintly Macabre I'm glad I'm not the only one who got the weird aftertaste! I've just been trying to avoid sugar in general now, though apparently it's used in Ben and Jerry's Phish Food so there goes that plan.

PistolPackinMama

@Pop Pop I cannot like the last sentence of your comment enough. I find I have the same problem with Neuhaus chocolates.

Pop Pop

@PistolPackinMama who knew there was all this sugar in all these wonderful things??

PistolPackinMama

@Pop Pop I know. And so many of the other wonderful ones have alcohol in them, so it's just a problem all around. Thankfully, though, Lays potato chips have neither. They're just salt and fat. So I guess it's not all glucose all around.

stonefruit

@Pop Pop I just wanted to say that the one (AND ONLY) time I tried stevia, it was in a health food store, and I was with a cousin who warned me about how stevia was painfully sweet, and I only tried one eensy little droplet, and BAM there went my mouth's whole afternoon. I could not get that taste out of my mouth. My cousin wound up buying me a Very Healthy Lollypop and even that didn't quite do the trick. bleh.

Pop Pop

@stonefruit That sounds a lot like what happened to me! Except the 'very healthy lollypop' which sounds very-not-yummy.

insouciantlover

I sweeten my coffee with raw agave nectar, which is right next to the other agave nectars on the shelf but the label is a different color and it's the same price. It makes me feel healthier for some reason and it's wonderful for margaritas which may be the real reason that I buy it.

annierebekah

@insouciantlover dude way to bury the lede!!

insouciantlover

@annierebekah it dissolves right into the lime juice!

annierebekah

@insouciantlover this is very important and will be duly noted next margarita night. How do you think it goes with sangria???

Amphora

@annierebekah And does it work in mojitos too? This is a major breakthrough in summer drinking!

insouciantlover

@Amphora It does!

Really, agave syrup is super sweet and low-glycemic (so supposedly your body processes it more slowly than cane sugar) and it dissolves in cold water. Plus, it has a slight flavor but nowhere near as strong as say, honey or maple syrup. It's wonderful to have on hand to add to booze or iced coffee.

EKPinc

So my boss is like #25 only insofar as she drinks 26 cans of Coke Zero every day. And I don't drink soda much, and not at all at work, but somehow everytime she opens a can, I get thirsty. I feel so conditioned!

bluebears

I always substitute with cocaine. Wait. Is that not healthy?

Heat Signature

@bluebears I believe it's equally as healthy as all of the other options, and I'm sure you can find a research article to back that up.

Gwdihw

@bluebears
It's from a plant, so it's in the Okay column.

sarah girl

@l'esprit de l'escalier ALL NATURAL and ORGANIC, even

ba-na-nas

"I drink yerba mate, sweetened only by the smiles of the disadvantaged children I work with every day."

This reminds me of "she's been down South and held peasants in her arms!" Oh, Frank Black, how I love you.

Derbel McDillet

@ba-na-nas Oh man, I always heard that as "held possums in her arms." I mean, that's not really an unreasonable assumption for the South (as someone raised in NC and living in the beating heart of Appalachia).

julia

I agree with no. 20. I realized the whitening rinse I was using (to no noticeable effect) has sucralose and now it's all I can taste. Planning on a nice raw dirt casserole with woodchip sprinkle for dinner tonight.

Bittersweet

@julia Make sure the wood chips only come from trees that have fallen down at the end of their natural life cycles, or it doesn't count.

themegnapkin

I'm so #8, except for the disadvantaged children. About a month after I stopped drinking sweetened drinks, I couldn't go back. Regular coke is now overwhelmingly sugary, and artificial sweeteners taste like chemicals. So, I like my coffee dark and strong, now.

Atheist Watermelon

@themegnapkin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tYLb3teB14

Atheist Watermelon

@LittleBookofCalm p.s. does anyone know how to create a clickable link on this website? <----- technologically challenged

mangosara

@LittleBookofCalm you can create a clickable link on any website with our friend HTML! do this! [no but seriously the instructions are in the link]

Atheist Watermelon

@mangosara ok, just testing, sorry to be annoying, but hey! Click on it if it works! LOL. I Take My Coffee Black

Atheist Watermelon

@LittleBookofCalm WIN! Thanks, @mangosara! I love the collective wisdom of da internetz. :-)

themegnapkin

@LittleBookofCalm that's what I was thinking of when I wrote my post!!!! You made my day by linking to it!

Xanthophyllippa

@themegnapkin I stopped drinking pop when I was in high school because I was trying to drop some weight for the upcoming tennis season (it worked), and now even diet pop tastes waaay too sweet to me (amidst the tinny chemical taste). I drink mostly water and sometimes juice or lemonade, but a while back I had a cherry Coke and just about sent myself into a coma from the sweet. I felt toxic for days afterward but it was SO. GOOD.

Oh, squiggles

This is the truth in the sweet, sweet, artificially sweet pudding.

But no, don't eat anything sweet, ever. Spinach, you can have spinach. Also kale. Drink red wine and water, possibly coffee...and olive oil? Eggs?

Ugh no, do none of that. Drink air, eat water. Or whatever you feel like really.

RK Fire

@Awesomely Nonfunctional: You can eat anything as long as you know that in the long run, it will kill you.

Oh, squiggles

@RK Fire Also, sleeping. Did you know that 100% of people who have slept, for any length of time at all, have died?

KatPruska

Along with embracing full-fat dairy products I also embrace sugar in all its glorious forms. There was a horrible period of time during my childhood when I was taken off of sugar in an attempt by my parents to determine What's Wrong With Kat, a running theme since birth, and I think it turned me off artificial sweeteners for life. Unless I get the diabeetus, I suppose.

(Lovely parents of The Hairpin, if one of your small children needs a special diet, please make the entire household follow it too. At least in their sight, and at least until they're like, 10 or something).

Nicole Cliffe

It can be HARD to find full-fat dairy. I found a place I can buy (ssssshhhh) raw heavy whipping cream, and my coffee is better than all other coffee in the world.

elysian fields

@KatPruska I endorse this. Full-fat dairy and real sugar forever. Bonus: full-fat dairy stays fresh wayyy longer -- the extra fat keeps it from going rancid!

parallel-lines

@Nicole Cliffe Wait, aren't you paleo? I'm trying to go paleo-ish and the dairy thing is KILLING ME!!

The sugar thing is fine since I can eat fruit but god damn, I want some cheese right now.

Nicole Cliffe

Raw heavy whipping cream is totally paleo-legit, also I cheat. Go ahead, I said it was fine.

Nicole Cliffe

Raw is just me being crazy, by the way. There's nothing wrong with pasteurization, I just happen to like raw dairy.

Faintly Macabre

@Nicole Cliffe Raw milk is SO GOOD. I drink it less nowadays after doing some more research on the risks vs benefits (though I still think the careful, small farms are unlikely to sell bad milk), but it's crazy how much better it tastes than even pasteurized milk.

(I bought raw milk at the market for my coffee all the time when I studied abroad, to my host parents' confusion, as they thought UHT milk was great. One time, there was a fly in the bottle. My host parents laughed at me, and when I took the milk back down to the market, they said, "Oh yeah, sometimes flies get in the dispenser. Here's another bottle!")

lobsterhug

@Faintly Macabre Raw milk is so delicious! In high school, I had a friend whose parents ran a dairy farm and the family used raw milk on everything. I spent the night once and I still remember that bowl of cereal fondly.

wharrgarbl

@Nicole Cliffe The mister bought some low-carb mockery of ice-cream and opted not to know what was in it, whereupon I read him the label. Apparently low-carb abomination-cream is made of everything I hate about low- and no-fat dairy products. Never have I felt the treachery of the plant kingdom more than in the various types of gums it provides for fraudulent yogurts.

sarah girl

@KatPruska Total agreement with your note at the end - one of my brothers had some similar What's Wrong with Him issues when he was young, and my whole family went through the elimination diet cycle with him. It sucked, but he didn't feel like a weirdo outcast, so it was worth it in the end.

KatPruska

@Nicole Cliffe AMAZING. It's more filling! You need less to feel full and it tastes better, which is really my only consideration right now.

I really despise how much my culture has come to fear fat. I got really angry at one of the la-di-da so fancy grocery stores in my neighborhood when I realized they didn't stock full fat Fage. I know Yogurt is Food for Women and all that, but some of us would like some flavor and fullness from our food. (Alliteration!)

KatPruska

@Sarah H. Your parents did it right. Mine mean so fucking well, and tried so fucking hard, but damn. They were just not equipped for the two weirdos they spawned.

entangled

@parallel-lines I have a friend who is paleo (primal, actually, which I guess is kind of a particular type of paleo) and she is all about the full-fat dairy. Apparently there is a thing where they put butter in their coffee.

celeec4@twitter

@KatPruska SING IT, seriously though...I find that I eat a lot less of full-fat stuff because I feel content faster than with skim and fat-free things. Basically, I give all my paycheck to the local specialty grocery because they carry all sorts of full-fat dairy products.

KatPruska

@celeec4@twitter Low-fat and non-fat and oddly-concocted food creations make me feel like the food industry is Super Hans from Peep Show, telling Mark, "Right, I'm taking your turkey club, Jez can have your chips, and you can have this...bit of matter." *hands over random fried piece of something totally unidentifiable*

(And not to set myself up as the David Mitchell pusher on The Hairpin, but if anyone hasn't seen Peep Show...um, do so immediately. You'll feel better!)

theharpoon

@wharrgarbl Argh was it "frozen dairy dessert" instead of ice cream? So tricky.

parallel-lines

@arrr starr I'm kind of dipping my toes in the paleo waters and everything I've seen says no dairy. This makes me feel better about the tablespoon of milk I put in my coffee every morning.

Nicole Cliffe

The really, really important thing to remember about paleo is that there's no God, so all is permitted, and if a caveperson had the opportunity to eat some cheese, they totally would have.

(excerpted from my upcoming diet book: "Maybe Do Some of These Things? Or Not. You'll Die Anyway.")

schrodingers_cat

@KatPruska full-fat yogurt is what I miss every summer at the end of the school year when I move from Canada back to the states. It's so easy to find in BC! And difficult to find here. But I did convert my mom to full-fat yogurt, so I feel good.

entangled

@parallel-lines it seems like there's a lot of different versions of paleo. The one my friend is into is primal and the really big blogger in that vein is marksdailyapple.com which she loves. They're very big on getting most of your calories from real-food based fat. Out of curiosity I did a lot of research and tried it for a week which was probably not long enough for a true evaluation, but long enough to decide it wasn't for me for several reasons. BUT I have a couple of friends who swear by it and have seen dramatic improvements in how they feel, energy levels, body composition, etc, so I think it's a good thing to try for people who are looking to switch things up and try to feel better.

Maryaed

@parallel-lines You're totally allowed to have dairy on paleo, provided you wrestle the wild sow to the ground yourself and nurse.

barefoot cuntessa

Hate to burst your bubble, but white granulated sugar is refined and not "whole" at all. Sucanant, palm/coconut sugar, and date sugar are whole and contain SOME nutritional value. Honey, maple syrup, and agave in raw form, do as well. White sugar is completely void of anything but calories.

Maryaed

@melissamachete Calories are a component of nutrition last I checked. And I hope no one is expecting to get significant vitamins, minerals or fiber from sweeteners.

PistolPackinMama

@KatPruska My parents didn't eliminate sugar from Older Brother's life when I was diagnosed but diabetes. But they did explain that it's rough, and they knew it, but would it be fair to deny Older Brother treats because I can't have them?

I must have been an awful goody goody, because I remember thinking "yeah, okay, that makes sense."

Older Brother, on the other hand, used to wave powdered sugar donuts around my face and tease me about how he could have them and I couldn't.

Until he also was diagnosed with diabetes 9 months later.

Oops. Poor sucker.

Also, hell yeah to full fat yogurt.

Mmmmmm.

PistolPackinMama

@Nicole Cliffe When I put whipping cream in my coffee it forms an oily layer on top, but the actual coffee isn't any lovelier than with 1/2 & 1/2, which hits the right cream/coffee balance for me.

Does... does... raw cream just stay all mixed in and lovely, in a coffeecream kind of way?

Atheist Watermelon

@KatPruska I thought *I* was the resident David Mitchell pusher on the Hairpin! :-P

Seriously though, i luuuuuuuuurrrrrrve him.

KatPruska

@LittleBookofCalm And I love your username. You are a loose lily, floating down an amber river...

hotdog

@schrodingers_cat Trader Joe's. It's the only place I can find full fat yogurt; I stood in a Jewel for at least ten minutes just STARING at the yogurt to will a full fat version to appear.

schrodingers_cat

@hotdog I know! I was excited the one year I came home and realized that Trader Joe's had started carrying delicious full-fat yogurt.

Xanthophyllippa

@schrodingers_cat My local (tiny) TJ's only carries low-fat options unless I want to buy the gigunda tub of organic yogurt, which comes in three flavors: boring, slightly less boring, or gross. Plain, vanilla, and banana, respectively.

Instead, I go to Target and buy a cartful of Liberté coconut yogurt. Mmm, cream.

applestoapples

Am I the only one who really hates the Stevia song?
I really hate it.
Really.

Gracefully and Grandly

@applestoapples ughhhhhh that song! Stop trying to be a cute quirky commercial with a jingle that doesn't rhyme. I hate it too.

Kivrin

@applestoapples Stevia has its own song?! ::scampers off to Google it::

ba-na-nas

@applestoapples I hate everything about stevia.

Onymous

@applestoapples This is why I only watch nick, CN and disney. I escape soooo many apparently awful commercials.

applestoapples

@Gracefully and Grandly Especially the way she says "it comes from a plant"...it just grates on me. I want to open a 5-lb bag of granulated refined white sugar and pour it down my throat in protest.

Also, I meant Truvia, which is the brand name of the stevia stuff.

elizabeast

@applestoapples I hate Stevia mostly because my boss attempts to put it in her coffee (she misses the cup, like, one million percent of the time) and I have to clean it up every day.

Also because it makes my mouth feel weird.

themmases

@Gracefully and Grandly Ugh why doesn't it rhymeeeee

Kivrin

@elizabeast Stevia is the only non-sugar sweetener that tastes halfway decent to me, so I'm currently obsessed with stevia-sweetened beverages like Sobe Lifewater Zero, Vitaminwater Zero, and Zevia root beer. I really, really hope that scientists don't discover any horrible stevia-related side effects, because I'm drinking the shit out of it every day.

schrodingers_cat

@applestoapples "it comes from a plant" This drives me nuts. SUGAR COMES FROM A PLANT TOO.

MollyculeTheory

@applestoapples The Truvia commercials make me so mad I made up a parody (sing it to yourself with that wheedley semi-melody of the real commercial)

I had dessert.
I must assert that I subscribe
to a fucked up social contract that implies
that I can’t, as a woman, simply enjoy
German chocolate. Like a killjoy,
I start harping ‘bout this furry, creepy shrub
that tastes like NutraSweet if it had hate-sex with a grub.
But I shan’t
have some fucking tiramisu, then I can’t
fit into my size-two pants.
And so I’ll cry
into my Truvia and when I die
even if I am the whiniest
my coffin is the tiniest
you’ve ever seen,
Truvia! So fuck you and your pie.

HeyThatsMyBike

@themmases It used to rhyme! It used to all come together, and I would laugh and laugh because it sounded like she was lauding pot. "I found a new love/A natural true love/That comes from a little green leaf/Zero calories, guilt-free, no artificiality/My skinny jeans zip in relief."
But now it just sounds awful, but also does not make it sound like she's dealing drugs (though skinnifying pot? Intriguing!)

iceberg

@applestoapples Haha I came down here to ask if we could bitch about truvia again.

applestoapples

@MollyculeTheory Brava.

KeLynn

@Kivrin - Oooo I just bought Zevia root beer and it is sitting in my fridge, waiting for me to make a float out of it this weekend.

Xanthophyllippa

@KeLynn With your frozen non-dairy dessert, I hope.

KeLynn

@applestoapples I think the thing people fundamentally do not understand about drinking diet soda is that the point is so that you can eat more calories worth of other things - such as ice cream.

Tuna Surprise

A comment about Mexican Coke can't exist on the internet without my obligatory response about how amazing Dublin Dr. Pepper is. Remember folks, Dublin Dr. Pepper. That's all.

Tuna Surprise

@Tuna Surprise
Also, I drink my coffee black with no sugar. Like a goddamn adult.

parallel-lines

@Tuna Surprise My grandfather, upon watching me dump an insane amount of sugar into my coffee, once remarked, "I thought you said you liked coffee, you pansy!"

harebell

@Tuna Surprise yes, me too. But we are in the minority -- or else I buy my coffee at the wrong places.

Sometimes I encounter this meme that "women always put milk and sugar in their coffee."

entangled

@harebell what?! what is that meme and who are these people?

everyone is my family drinks coffee black and without sugar and I always find it odd that most people don't. but then again, I grew up in a house where we didn't have milk or sugar (or salt or butter or eggs or bread) around not out of any sort of health craze but because my parents don't like them. we may be the odd ones.

SarahP

@Tuna Surprise Wait, why? Why is it better?!

RosemaryF

@Tuna Surprise Oh, honey. Has no one told you? Dublin Dr. Pepper is no more. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but corporate America RUINS ALL THINGS.

http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/2012/01/buy_up_all_the_dublin_dr_peppe.php

(I'm not smart with the making of functional links and all.)

Ophelia

@Tuna Surprise God, I love Mexican Coke.

Judith Slutler

@Tuna Surprise I used to drink my coffee black, but then I learned that I needed to add calcium to my diet. Now I drink it with milk and BAM, I have strong non-breaky fingernails for the first time in my life!

Rosebudddd

@Tuna Surprise Amen. I grew up in Texas and didn't find out about Dublin Dr. Pepper until I was an adult! Did you know Dublin TX as NOT named after Dublin Ireland but so named because early wagon trains had to "double in," basically forma a circle when under attack from the original inhabitants? Also, as of January Dublin Dr. Pepper is no longer produced!

piekin

@arrr starr wh-what did you eat??

punkahontas

@Tuna Surprise I have a brand new case of Mexican Coke on my kitchen floor right now. We're bringing it on vacation!

entangled

@piekin broiled fish (usually sole or flounder) or chicken breast, seasoned with lemon juice and Mrs. Dash. plus salad with vinaigrette and steamed vegetables with more lemon juice. we did get pasta once a week or so (though there was a period of a year or so when my parents decided tomato sauce was too messy so we had to eat it with cardini's lemon-herb dressing which is probably my ultimate childhood-flashback food). if I was hungry between meals (which I always was, obviously), there was fruit. there was also a lot of whining.

Michaela D@twitter

@Tuna Surprise Whenever I go to a carniceria for meat, or salsa, or those crazy lime pork rinds, a bottle of mexican coke invariably finds it's way to my hand, as if by magic. I hate soda, but soda from mexico is something else.

Michaela D@twitter

@arrr starr Also that seriously sounds like my parents, and their food peculiarities. My dad still hates milk to this day, and his quoted reason now is "It's only one degree away from being cow's blood!" Oh, dad. You eat steak.

gravie

@Tuna Surprise "Also, I drink my coffee black with no sugar. Like a goddamn adult."

I love you.

ba-na-nas

@arrr starr oy. sorry. my childhood flashback foods are tuna noodle casserole and overcooked squash with onions.

CheeseWizard

@parallel-lines My grandmother, upon watching me add cream to my coffee, snorted and said, "Weak." She drank it black, and anthing else was pure coffee heresy.

katiethegreat

@Tuna Surprise Tenuously-linked but OH MY WORD Ugandan Fanta is the best ever. I think it has more sugar in it? But no nutritional information on the bottle, and what you don't know is there doesn't count!

KatieBarTheDoor

I used to use Splenda because I heard it was "healthier" or whatever, but I quit last year after I read about all the animal testing they did, including killing something like 12,000 beagles (beagles!). Just FYI for anyone who doesn't know and would care.@KatieBarTheDoor Also, this semi-obnoxious quasi-righteous comment probably was #32 on the list...

stuffisthings

That's not how people ingested Mexican coke when I was in college...

Oh, squiggles

@stuffisthings *rimshot*

TheUnchosenOne

You can have my Diet Dr Pepper when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

#20 has a point, though. Even when it's in sucrose, your body doesn't process fructose particularly well. There's proportionally slightly more of it in HFCS and also there's a shit ton of HCFS in everything now.

lisma

@TheUnchosenOne Diet Dr. Pepper is so good. So is Diet A&W.
I hear that is Priscilla Zuckerberg's favorite drink and I hate myself for knowing that, but HEY! I read it on The Hairpin.

piekin

@ginalouise diet a&w! it kind of tastes disgusting when you are really thinking hard about it, but in the most delicious way possible.

lisma

@piekin generally, I try not to think hard about anything.

staircases

@TheUnchosenOne I can't find cases of Diet Dr. Pepper where I live, so I buy a knockoff from the Walmart. Name? diet Dr Flave.

You're welcome.

Slutface

Splenda and I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!!

tessamae

@Slutface Yea-YEEEAHH! I use the shit outta Splenda when I bake chocolate chip cookies and it is the bomb. It makes them all fluffly and cake-like and DEELISH.

wharrgarbl

"I sweeten my coffee with blackstrap molasses, which is kind of disgusting, but gives me an icebreaker at parties."

How does it taste? Oh, god, you don't drink it. It would be fucking horrible! No, you sweeten it with blackstrap molasses, and then you just dump it right down the drain and go make yourself a nice cup of tea. Why? Because I'll be fucked if I'm going waste talk of something genuinely interesting on you philistines.

sarah girl

@wharrgarbl It's a good icebreaker in that people can figure out right away that she's fucking insufferable.

wharrgarbl

@Sarah H. "Last weekend I hunted down and wrestled a 200-pound stingray. When I had defeated it, I took a pair of shears from my belt and clipped its barb. I spent this week fashioning that barb into the head of a spear I will use to slay the white rhino who killed my parents. Yes, I know they're endangered. You'll note that the group comprising "my parents" is completely extinct. Besides, enough of this particular rhino's sperm has been collected to ensure that its contribution to the genepool can continue for decades. As I was saying...what? My favorite contestant on The Bachelor? I don't own a tv. I guess whoever acquitted herself best in the hand-to-hand combat round."

Bittersweet

@wharrgarbl and Sarah H. Must share this thread with my husband, who puts blackstrap molasses on his raw oatmeal oats every morning. Then I'll have to duck to avoid his stingray barb spear.

wharrgarbl

@Sarah H. "No, there will not be a 'repeat of last time,' Tabitha. I have prepared for this party with the same care and concentration I typically devote to more worthy endeavors. I spent a month tracking your likely guests. I went to the movies they attended. I ate what they ate. I interrogated their mail-lackeys and their internet-workers and their librarians. I observed their televisions flickering in the darkness through the scope of my rifle. When they went out, I crawled into their beds and imagined what it must be like to be them. Suffice it to say, I am thoroughly prepared to discuss the vague, creeping horror of their daily lives with them. No doubt they will find my analysis of the erotic and thanotic themes in their precious Celebrity Apprentice fascinating, and you'll finally be happy."

cuminafterall

I use raw pure organic honey, but only to rub all over my face. In my coffee I use Splenda.

cuminafterall

@cuminafterall This is a joke because it is funny, but also not a joke because it is true.

Spinach Party

@cuminafterall I LOVE honey face wash!

I only have regular organic honey (like, StopnShop brand), which probably isn't even real honey, but I put that in my coffee. I need to make a trip to Whole Foods, I suppose, for the raw-pure-organic-honey for my face.

Honey makes your face so delicious. (Beware of zombies, though)

Aunt Ada Doom

@sox I mix it with sugar (oh, god, yes, white refined sugar with no benefits whatsoever) to make a paste, then use it as a weekly scrub. Probably about a tablespoon of each in a little dish, then nice hot water rinse, then sugary/honey scrub, then splash off, then washcloth off. The whole time spent standing over the sink because the stuff has a way of dripping unexpectedly and getting SUPER sticky wherever it goes.

Spinach Party

@sox "Pray tell, what do you do with the honey on your face? Like, wipe it on clean skin and leave it for bit and then rinse with warm water?"

Yes, this is actually exactly what I do! You'd think it would be difficult and sticky to wash off, but it melts away pretty easily with just water. The honey I've been using is pretty viscous and drips suuuuuuuuper slowly, so I tend to leave it on for 5-10 minutes when I have time as a mini-mask.

(Also, your comment has disappeared, are you a ghost?)

@Aunt Ada Doom I've been meaning to mix sugar (that evil refined sugar) in at some point. Some days I really need proper exfoliation. I've heard using bit of baking soda can be great too. I think it would be a finer "grit" and maybe more gentle than sugar?

BTW I only discovered honey face wash after reading Crunchy Betty: http://www.crunchybetty.com/honey-challenge

cuminafterall

@Spinach Party My honey has crystallized a little (it's still gooey) so it's good and exfoliatory (exfoliative?) all by its lonesome. You could also use nutmeg to exfoliate, but the honey + spices combination might make you want to eat your face.

Spinach Party

@cuminafterall mmmmmmmm that does sound delicious!

josefinastrummer

"I drink Mexican Coke!" Ha! I wish that's all I drank. That stuff is gold.

Ophelia

@josefinastrummer Seriously. My husband and I don't drink all that much soda, but when they have it at our grocery store, we will buy several six packs and hoard them.

stonefruit

@Ophelia My friends call it Passover coke :) And one of my cousins-in-law (not Jewish) gets so excited every March-April and buys like whole flats of it that she rations out over the year. Truly amazing stuff.

cosmia

Man, all this artificial sweetner/sugar substitute stuff is too confusing so I still have ALL OF THE SUGAR. Except I only drink my coffee with milk.

Yahtzii

I don't use sugar or Splenda or angel sweat in my coffee, because I am an artist and any veneer of sweetness on top of the ceaseless grind of existence is a lie. I sweeten my coffee with whiskey.

werewolfbarmitzvah

Maybe it kills ya, maybe it doesn't (my spidey sense tells me that it does!), but the fact remains, every time I accidentally ingest an artificial sweetener, it gives me the poops. :(

WhiskeySour

@werewolfbarmitzvah Yep, I'd rather have regular sugar and the possibility of developing diabeetus (that correlation is fairly hotly debated) than spend my day curled up in a ball from severe stomach cramps.

steponitvelma

@werewolfbarmitzvah Yeah I binged on some sugar-free candy yesterday and was bloated like a balloon all day. Yuck!

JessicaLovejoy

I gave up all artificial sugar exactly a week ago and see no changes in my health. I'm sort of relieved.

(Still have a few more weeks to go though, maybe on three I'll be all "my hair is triple thick and I can see through time now! NO MOAR ASPARTAME EVA!")

lil_bobbytables

@JessicaLovejoy Do keep us updated. Also, if you become a time lord, I humbly submit my name for consideration should you need a companion.

cherrispryte

@JessicaLovejoy Yeah, I did that a year and a half ago, and essentially no difference.
Well, actually, my migraines went away? But that is more likely due to 8 million other life changes I made in January of 2011.

celeec4@twitter

Screw that, living is a risk factor for cancer. I'll take my real sugar, real honey, and full-fat dairy for $1000, Alex!

Poubelle

I stopped having to sweeten my coffee when I started getting it from Dunkin Donuts. Or when I go back to my first/real love, tea.

Also, real sugar NEVER dissolves right, even in hot drinks. I always end up drinking a non-sweet drink until I get to clumps at the bottom, no matter how much I stir.

sarah girl

@Poubelle Yeah, that's a definite perk of Splenda - dissolves beautifully!

elysian fields

@Poubelle Simple syrup, my friend. Simple syrup.

meetapossum

@elysian fields My favorite neighborhood coffee shop used to have simple syrup but then got rid of it. Whyyyy?

anachronistique

@Sarah H. The other day I had a brain fart and asked for sugar in my iced coffee. WORST DECISION, it was all bitter-bitter-bitter-OW MY TEETH.

Poubelle

@Sarah H. Hah, I am a sucker for Splenda. Before that it was blue stuff. I was all, whothefuck cares if I get cancer, I want my tea properly sweetened! (And seriously, iced tea and sugar is just the worst.)

Ellie

I only drink real Coke and I definitely judge those who drink diet beverages (sorry, I know this is almost everyone I know and like). But, diet soda tastes like salt and chemicals. GROSS. I almost never drink soda though.

You'll be sorry Jo March

@Ellie Delicious, delicious chemicals

maybe partying will help

Why the fuck are the Pepsi Throwback products so hard to find though? I fucking love that Mountain Dew. See also: Mexican Coke.

Anji

@maybe partying will help I hatehatehaaaaaaaaate regular Mountain Dew, but the throwback? Dude, where was this stuff when I was pulling all-nighters in college?!

entangled

Love this. I have no idea what artificial sweeteners do once ingested, but I'm pretty sure that reading the comments section of that article in an attempt to find more of these gems rotted my brain a little. So much self-righteous indignation, so little reason.

Leon Tchotchke

I love the chemicals. I eat them up. My veins flow with artificially sweetened acid and my heart pumps nothing but frankenfood. I am chemicals now and there's no going back.

SarahP

@Tuna Surprise Wait, why? Why is it better?!

cherrispryte

Ooooh I could be so smug here, but instead I will just point out that I love you Nicole, for the progression from 26 to 29.

piekin

@cherrispryte i know, right? NICOLE MY FAT ASS LOVES YOU

anachronistique

@piekin Thirded.

Porn Peddler

Solution: stop sweetening your coffee.

I hate to be this person but last night I was at a potluck with this woman who went on and on and on forever about how bad meat and animal products are for you and what a magical conversion it was for her and how careful she needs to be when she eats things prepared by other people. She said she once ate something cooked on the same grill as meat and was sick for eight days. Like, homegirl was just on a roll about this subject.

And she chain smoked the whole night. I'm vegan and very pro-letting-smokers-do-their-thing.

But come on, lady. Too easy.

wharrgarbl

@Porn Peddler The only reasonable solution is that she was actually a tobacco weevil magically granted human form for six months of every year.

HeyThatsMyBike

@wharrgarbl She is the subject of M. Night Shyamalan's next film. SHE WAS A TOBACCO WEEVIL ALL ALONG.

Ophelia

"Truvia comes from Cargill" made me laugh so, so hard.

frigwiggin

What, a discussion about sweeteners and no mention of HFCS? For shame.

JessicaLovejoy

@frigwiggin Because the handsome daddy in the commercials says it comes from corn and your stupid body can't tell the difference between it and sugar sugar? IF I CAN'T TRUST A HANDSOME DADDY IN SOME SORT OF FIELD, WHAT IS THERE TO LIFE?

anachronistique

@JessicaLovejoy The Sweetums bits on Parks and Rec are so brilliant at parodying this.

cherrispryte

@anachronistique Look how healthy they are! They're wearing vests!

frigwiggin

@HeyThatsMyBike Female genital mutilation! Get the facts! (Oh god I am 50% of all youtube commenters who think that just repeating the funny parts of a video is a good comment oh god)

HeyThatsMyBike

@frigwiggin But in this case, it lets me know that the time I took to make an html tag was worth it because you actually watched it! Love that top!

whateverlolawants

@frigwiggin And I'm the Youtube commenter who gave you a thumbs-up for repeating the funny parts of a video!

annejumps@twitter

Splenda, to me, has a horrible, horrible aftertaste that stays with me for like a day.

wharrgarbl

@annejumps@twitter For me, it tastes like chlorinated ass, gives me stomach cramps, and then tops off the suck sundae with a migraine. I guess most people can't really distinguish it from real sugar, though, so hooray for them.

JessicaLovejoy

@annejumps@twitter For me, Splenda = headaches, locked up lower back and shitty moods. I've had less blowback from rotgut vodka in an old milk jug! (Long story. I think.)

H.E. Ladypants

@annejumps@twitter Splenda gave me hives so badly that I had to go to the doctor for treatment!

I'm the only person I've ever known to have an allergic reaction to splenda but hey. At least it means that I don't have to pretend to like it! (It tastes funny and chlorinated to me, too.)

Amphora

@JessicaLovejoy It's the MSG of our generation.

j p o@twitter

This is pretty much the first and last statement on Stevia that anyone needs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaBUi-CnqPo

Neozinho Guerreiro@facebook

@j p o@twitter Back in the days before diabetics could just have sugar, my mother (god bless her) did all kinds of kitchen chemistry to make sweets for me and my brother. Dietetic syrup and applesauce. Apple juice and unicorn blood. The innocence of children mixed with Sweet-n-Low.

Filmes torrent
Oatmeal cookies made with dietetic syrup and applesauce? Make a 7yo kid just not be interested in sugar.

PistolPackinMama

Back in the days before diabetics could just have sugar, my mother (god bless her) did all kinds of kitchen chemistry to make sweets for me and my brother. Dietetic syrup and applesauce. Apple juice and unicorn blood. The innocence of children mixed with Sweet-n-Low.

Oatmeal cookies made with dietetic syrup and applesauce? Make a 7yo kid just not be interested in sugar.

When aspartame was invented I thought I had died and gone to coca cola heaven.

Katiesaurous

@PistolPackinMama When were you diagnosed? I was diagnosed in 1989, and I've always had access to Diet Pepsi. But I often had digusting sugar-free candies, sugar-free syrups, sugar-free cookies purchased for me. And all came with the warning to not eat too many of them, lest they give you the poops.

PistolPackinMama

@Katiesaurous January 1982, right before Diet Coke came out. TAB... eucchh. Then lived in Germany for several years, where they were all Diet Coke, vat ees zees Diet Coke? So we drank mineral water mixed mit apfelsaft when out because for some reason noone drank tapwater?

And, yes. Gut wrenching sugar free candies. Not so great.

Type I Represent!

Katiesaurous

@PistolPackinMama My doctor's office often has that type of sugar-free candy around.. I swear I dont know if the old people who are the majority of the patients prefer it, or if it's just left over from the 80s and they cant get rid of it

SuperGogo

32. Obligatory conspiracy comment about how the Coca-Cola company introduced the intentionally-terrible New Coke in order to swap out the sugar for HFCS in Coke "Classic" and no one noticed because they were so grateful to have the original formula back.

punkahontas

@SuperGogo oooOOOOOOOh!

Amphora

@punkahontas Does this apply to that weirdo Pepsi Next?

anachronistique

Coke Zero tastes like doughnut glaze.

Is It a Hat?

Cotton candy is pretty much my favorite food...and I had a root beer float for dinner last night. My love of real sugar knows no bounds.

KatPruska

@Is It a Hat? Do you mix sugar syrup into your Bolli and Stoli?

Is It a Hat?

@KatPruska Yes, I must keep my energy up somehow...considering I haven't eaten since 1974.

stonefruit

I think usually someone starts a fight about how agave nectar is actually really bad for you?

But also, on the vanishing rare occasions when I drink coffee, I douse it with so much cream (WHIPPING, PLEASE.) and so much sugar that it is essentially melted coffee ice cream. And my favorite espresso drink is a breve or, when it's that time of year, a gingerbread latte (decaf for both, natch). I'm such an adult, what can I say.

Porn Peddler

@stonefruit Gingerbread and peppermint lattes are two of the only not-black-coffee-coffee-things I will drink because omg I don't care, so good. Wegmans also does a SNOWFLAKE LATTE which is vanilla and mint and holy shit. Except I can only drink it with like, a quarter the amount of syrup they usually use...

Lenora Jane

@Porn Peddler SNOWFLAKE LATTE what
I am really excited about this notion, and the idea of getting one and drinking it while pretending it is actually what snow tastes like

Lenora Jane

@Lenora Jane I mean obviously snow is sugary, right? Between this and Sno-Cones no one is convincing me otherwise

Xanthophyllippa

@Porn Peddler Further proof that Wegmans = LOVE.

keristars

I don't even know what agave nectar is. I sure do like it mixed into my Lynchberg Lemonades, though. Whatever it is. (And omg what a fantastic drink for summer that is.)

Also, anyone who says artificial "sweeteners" are undetectable from "real" sugars are lying liars who lie. Those things are absolutely nasty - sure, it may be sweet at the first moment, but as soon as you get past that very first taste, it's all chemical and weird and NOT sweet. Whether it's in a liquid or pie. Awful, horrible stuff.

Amphora

@keristars Eh to the MEN. The aftertaste is so horrible, it makes me make the face a cat makes when something's stuck to its tongue.

Xanthophyllippa

@Amphora Also the same face I make when I eat a wasabi pea (which I will occasionally do, just to make the people around me laugh) or drink alcohol.

Rebecs

I have given up the battle on artificial sweeteners. I felt bad about my Diet Coke and Splenda for a while because other ladies would look at me with the scorn and judgement I usually reserve for child abusers and say things like, "That will give you cancer and ruin your life and you will never find true happiness! Long live natural sugars!" Then realized that if the worst part of my diet is that I put 1 lousy splenda in my morning coffee and treat myself to a Diet Coke from time to time, then I'm doing alright. To quote (inappropriately) a great American, "You have to do what works for you, and I think you have to rigorously protect yourself from doing unnecessary things in order to compete with other women."

angelinha

@Rebecs PREACH! I feel this way about cake. And donuts. I'm going to eat donuts sometimes, and if you have a problem with that, I am not sorry because that is your problem.

possibility girl

@Rebecs Love this. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME, all natural sugars women!

Rebecs

@angelinha
Yes to donuts!

Faintly Macabre

@Rebecs Yes! I have a random love of Diet Coke, which I drink maybe once or twice a month. I don't smoke, don't drink much, am mostly vegetarian, and studied food policy/agriculture, and people STILL try to educate me on why Diet Coke is evil. Bah. If they only knew how much candy I eat before breakfast...

H.E. Ladypants

@Rebecs Ugh, we are much the same mind about this. I use real sugar in my coffee but I still get the same reaction when people try to tell me I should cut down on my sugar intake. I'm a very active, healthy vegetarian, who indulges in sweets and junky foods when appropriate. 9/10 days though, my biggest indulgence is 30 calories of processed sugar in the morning. I really don't think two teaspoons a day is going to kill me, now shut up and let me enjoy my moderation in peace.

frigwiggin

The thing is, you shouldn't even have to rationalize it! It doesn't matter if you're a vegetarian or an omnivore or if you live on butter sandwiches or if you only eat grass or if you like to eat a bowl of Nerds in Mountain Dew each morning (had a friend in high school who would do this). Either way, it is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

Lenora Jane

@frigwiggin HEAR HEAR. I have a rotten diet but don't smoke anymore. I have friends who eat obsessively healthy but suck down a pack a day. A whole houseful of women I know are vegans who drink like the fish they don't eat. We all do what works for us, nobody is perfect, it is not your job to police my various intakes! There's something about sins and casting stones that comes to mind here but I don't wanna get too heavy on the Jesus so early in the day, so let's stick with "NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS" for now.

You'll be sorry Jo March

I love diet soda so much I could write a song about it. I could write SEVEN songs!

Rebecs

@You'll be sorry Jo March Yes! Please write these songs, perform and post them on YouTube and then provide a link!

Killerpants

"My 'sugar' friends tell me there aren't many calories in sugar, but those calories over the years add up. I've never had a weight problem, and I think it's because of diet sodas and artificial sweeteners in my coffee." LOGIC!

fondue with cheddar

Why are none of these about how HORRIBLY FOUL artificial sweeteners are? I can't eat them because they're all so bitter, and I know I'm not alone! SUPERTASTERS WHERE ARE YOU?

area@twitter

@jen325 We were out of sugar (delicious sugar) the other day at work, and I kind of went "eh" and put Sweet and Low into my coffee. And I got this weird kind of feeling at the back of my throat every time I took a sip, like I had been inhaling nail polish remover? It was strange and creepy.
But yes. Sugar and butter forever. In modest and delicious quantities. My favorite phrasing on the subject is from Ted Allen (of "Queer Eye" and "Chopped" fame), who said "The best substitute for butter is giving up food entirely".

fondue with cheddar

@area@twitter Sugar and butter forever! I grew up with margarine and would only have butter rarely, and only when I wasn't at home. One year at my dad's company picnic they had those little foil-wrapped pats of butter...and I ATE THEM. I unwrapped the foil and popped a bunch of those little suckers in my mouth one by one, letting each slowly melt and savoring the salty, dairy goodness.

area@twitter

@jen325 mmmm...butter. DELICIOUS. I have heard tales of "the sugar sandwich", which consisted of white bread slathered with butter and topped with sugar. This was back in the 50s and 60s though, I think they've gone out of style.

fondue with cheddar

@area@twitter I would totally eat that, though I'd have to substitute the bread because white bread is gross. I have eaten sugar and butter while baking. MMM.

celeec4@twitter

@area@twitter Nope, totally had those as a kid. Dad would essentially bribe me with those for good behavior. SOGOOD.

Ophelia

@jen325 Ugh, yes. My brother-in-law made mojitos last summer, but he made them with Splenda and didn't tell anyone, and I took one sip, and made this HORRIBLE face, and everyone looked at me, and I had to explain to a room full of non-believers that, yes, you CAN taste splenda. Sigh.

Also, the only thing better than a sugar sandwich is a cinnamon-sugar sandwich.

H.E. Ladypants

@Ophelia Oh man, yes. It all tastes like a foul mouth full of chemicals to me. Never been fooled in my life.

Cinnamon, sugar, and butter on a hot flour tortilla. Oh my.

area@twitter

@H.E. Ladypants oh my god, that sounds delicious. I have tortillas in the house, I might have to go and make these now.
Re: sugar sandwiches: how does it work with the granulated sugar texture? I feel like that would be weird, is it tasty instead? Or do you make it with brown sugar? Eat it hot or cold? How about honey and butter sandwiches, those sound ridiculously delicious to me.

fondue with cheddar

@Ophelia Ooh, a cinnamon-sugar sandwich sounds great. Like cinnamon toast, but not toasted!
@H.E. Ladypants Sounds great on a tortilla, too!

One of my favorite snacks is spreading peanut butter on a slice of bread, sprinkling cinnamon and sugar on it, and melting it in the toaster oven. Sadly, I seem to have developed a gastrointestinal peanut allergy, so I can't eat that much peanut butter at once anymore. :(

teaandcakeordeath

@area@twitter
I used to make those! I'm not from the 50's or anything. I just had strong feelings about butter and sugar. Together.

Lenora Jane

@H.E. Ladypants This was a thing they taught you how to do in American Girl how-to books! Anybody else remember those? "The Care and Keeping of You" and whatnot. It was one of the make-your-own afternoon snack recipes. I don't really understand why, in retrospect...most of the other ones were about being healthy?

fondue with cheddar

Also, I really hope the Netflix thing is real because otherwise THERE WILL BE RIOTS.

area@twitter

I always feel like the artificial sweetener debate, for me, boils down to "do you want to die of caner-related illnesses, or weight-related illnesses?" So now when I'm at the store I get one diet soda and one regular soda. And lots of lime juice to squeeze into my water. I assume lime juice hasn't been found to corrode us from the outside in.

Ophelia

@area@twitter I was horrified to find out that apparently carbonated water is bad for you? But seriously, fuck that, I'm still drinking as much seltzer as I want.

area@twitter

@Ophelia what?! GOD DAMN IT!!

Lenora Jane

@area@twitter "I assume lime juice hasn't been foundto corrode us from the outside in"

Thank you for making me laugh out loud at my desk in a really conspicuous manner.

whateverlolawants

#30 and #31. My life. (Seriously, I squealed at #30. White Power Bill!)

charizard

Save the soda for the office birthday party you can't avoid and drink water and unsweetened tea instead.

Yes, I hate fun.

But really, is there honestly a situation where soda is the best or only choice? Your bladder is dry. Moisten it with healthy, untainted water before you get that dull fullness between your hips. You know the one. Think of how yellow your pee will be if you drink a soda, then grab a bottle of water out of the cooler at 7-11 instead. You'll thank me in a few hours.

PistolPackinMama

@charizard Popcorn. Sometimes, only Diet Coke will do, yo. Or beer.

You'll be sorry Jo March

@charizard I'll probably get to drinkin' another Diet Coke within the next few hours, so don't hold your breath waiting for a thank you! I LOVE FUN

H.E. Ladypants

@charizard I get one diet black cherry soda every couple of weeks as a reward for getting all the shopping done.

I AM SO WILD.

frigwiggin

@charizard Honestly, I have been drinking water all day--I'm happy drinking water--but your comment is making me want to swing by a 7-11 for some root beer on my way home.

entangled

@charizard I don't even like soda, but once a month I have to wake up really early and drive across the bay at an ungodly hour of the morning. when I have to drive back after 4, it is terrible rush hour traffic and I get prone to drowsy driving.

diet soda >>>> falling asleep at the wheel (and available at the vending machine. if I stopped for coffee, traffic would back up even more before I could head home :((( argh tomorrow is one of those days)

Nutmeg

@charizard That's why I drink so much Gatorade; to make up for the Diet Coke guzzlings!

Haha but srsly, I eat so many Cheez-Its that my pee runs orange

Lenora Jane

@charizard You are allowed to hate your own fun. You're not allowed to tell me to hate mine.

Xanthophyllippa

@charizard Unsweetened tea tastes like a puddle formed after an October rainfall.

CupcakeTattoos

What the hell is a Mexican coke? *Australian*

MrsLlama

@CupcakeTattoos NECTAR OF THE GODSSSSSSSSSS.

It's basically just Coke, but in Mexico they still make it with cane sugar instead of horrible, horrible, high-fructose corn syrup. Also I feel like it comes in a smaller bottle, like, a normal-sized portion bottle. And that bottle is glass. Also it tastes...spicier? Warmer? Less acidic? More like actual food?

I feel like here (Brooklyn) it's a very high/low thing- you can get it at the shittiest bodegas, or farm-to-table organic cafes.

Qreamlikethedrink

@CupcakeTattoos As a Mexican, I thank you for the explanation, I wasn't aware of such "privilege", I thought Coke tasted the same everywhere =)So here's a fun fact: it is always easier to find coke than purified water in the stores of the poorest towns. It is also cheaper than water. Which only goes to show why childrens obesity has been a serious issue during the recent years!

whateverlolawants

@Qreamlikethedrink My coworker tells me Coke tastes different in some European countries too. I haven't been, so I couldn't say. I liked Coke a lot in Ecuador- I think they use the same formula as Mexican Coke, which I've long preferred to the U.S. version. Also, in Indianapolis, it's sort of a high/low thing too. But inching into the middle too- it's in a lot of regular grocery stores. Yay.

Xanthophyllippa

@Qreamlikethedrink It's also cleaner than non-purified water, which is part of why alcohol (particularly beer) was so popular until about, oh, the 19th century. If your options were drink beer and be a little tipsy or drink water and die a horrible, diarrheal death over the course of the next three to five days, beer would look pretty good. So would Coke.

Nutmeg

I LOVE diet coke, you will claw it from my cold, dead-from-aspartame-induced-illness/cancer hands.

Also, one time when I was at the heights of my eating disorder I ate a packet of Splenda because I was soooo hungryyyyy and it tasted like... cold burning? Anyways, this is not a story that gets a lot of laughs at parties

Xanthophyllippa

@Nutmeg I would laugh at that story if you told it to me at a party, because I'd ignore the eating disorder bit and focus on the "ate a packet of Splenda" bit and reward you with a story about the time I grabbed what I thought was a packet of Emergen-C from my cupboard, dissolved it, and knocked it back, only to discover it was half a packet of taco seasoning. Now I turn on the kitchen light when I'm thirsty in the middle of the night.

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa OH MY GOD. My MSG hating self is feeling the pain. And the salt! So much salt! AAAAA!

@Nutmeg-- I love that you love Cheez-Its. God, they are so good.

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama It was SO disgusting. The only reason I didn't die on the spot from teh grossness was that I was laughing too hard. And of course I immediately talked about it on Facebook.

Aggro-Pina

Oh my, sugar. The memories. I remember when chewing gum was not "recommended by dental hygienists", there was "American bubblegum" at the local candy store, pink, sweet and it lasted forever. My bubbles were the biggest. It made my teeth grow fur. God, I miss it...

Xanthophyllippa

@Aggro-Pina Double Bubble still does that for me - complete with fur-growing. But I was always a grape or orange Bubbalicious girl.

FickleMoon

Does artificial sweetener make anyone else hungry? I mostly notice it after a night out if I've been drinking Diet Coke mixers over juice. Something to do with oh hey sweet taste/stomach expecting calories/why is it not here yet/omg where is my sugar/eat eat eat all the things!

James Walker

No, that's Equal. The blue one. Splenda is the yellow one. Sweet 'N Low is the pink one. Desenvolvimento de Sistemas

James Walker

Thanks very much for this great article;this is the stuff that keeps me going through out these day.acupuncture dermatitis

James Walker

You're in point of fact a just right webmaster. The website loading speed is amazing. It kind of feels that you're doing any distinctive trick. Moreover, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a fantastic activity on this subject! Midi Estates Agents - Languedoc Properties - Roquebrun Property for Sale

James Walker

I wanna say thanks to you and your entire team for writing such a wonderful and knowledgeable article. You are too cool guyz......chiropractic software

James Walker

Hello. Cool article. There’s a problem with your website in firefox, and you may want to test this… The browser is the marketplace chief and a huge part of folks will miss your wonderful writing because of this problem dr charles lee reviews

duyentran@twitter

Also, one time when I was at the heights of my eating disorder I ate a packet of Splenda because I was soooo hungryyyyy and it tasted like... cold burning? Anyways, this is not a story that gets a lot of laughs at partiesPure Green Coffee Bean Extract

duyentran@twitter

You don't have that here. They have that in Canada,essay in english
and they put it in the Canadian pink one, because of the cancer from the American pink one.

greater.pakistan234

My friend mentioned to me your blog, so I thought I’d read it for myself.click here Very interesting insights, will be back for more!

greater.pakistan234

Once I thought about things like: why such information is for free here? Because when you write a book then at least on selling a book you get a percentage.best writing services Thank you and good luck on informing people more about it!

sheikh.rasheed234

This is very useful to many readers like me.Being a student, I am requiring myself to read "" articles more often and your writing just caught my interest.Thank you ! Wow! Thank you! I continually needed to write on my site something like that. Please let me know if you're looking for a article author for your weblog. You have some really great posts and I feel I would be a good asset thanks!!!I have read so many article of this site in which some of them were very intresting and inspiring.This "" article has good title with good description.essay writing service i am very happy that i found this site. I have bookmarked this site to visit again aaafind out the new post.I just want to say, is a wonderful article.

masumrana440

Simply because a lot of free college funding call for appliers to publish one or more essay or dissertation, it is quite essential that the dissertation writing services people create articulates to the fund judges. Besides you have meet their particular particular standards, however you must ensure that you will find simply no punctuation or maybe grammatical blunders.

sheikh.rasheed234

Hi I found your its amazing!. I don’t have the time at the moment to fully read your site but I have bookmarked it and also add your RSS feeds. I will be back in a day or two. thanks for a great site.
Freelancer gig 1st time in fiverr

andrya

Before considering the question, the first thing to ask is whether or not the artificial sweetener is necessary in the foods you choose to eat at all. While Diet of how to write a five paragraph essay in five paragraph essay graphic organizer Pepsi trumps regular Pepsi, nothing beats water in terms of old fashioned hydration.

sheikh.rasheed234

I would also motivate just about every person to save this web page for any favorite assistance to assist posted the appearance.
I was very pleased to find this site.I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.
pashmina

enggal

@sheikh.rasheed234 Thank you for this interesting things, in really helped me in many things to solve problems that I faced. Asus zenfone Smartphone Android Terbaik

1961019522@twitter

A new revolutionary program reverses Type 2 Diabetes, to learn more visit http://peiupdate.com

Reverse Diabetes

A new revolutionary program reverses Type 2 Diabetes.
A program by Peiupdate research

filmes torrent

I enjoyed every little bit part of it and I will be waiting for the new updates. filmes torrent

goldiehearn

That is very good comment you shared.Thank you so much that for you shared those things with us.Im wishing you to carry on with your Achievements.AC Maintenance Contract

davidfranks

Interesting post and thanks for sharing. Some things in here I have not thought about before. Thanks for making such a cool post.Alamode

Shohag

Great post here Texaso.com. I really enjoyed this article So much :)

Peter Alan

Diabetes can be reversed, entirely with diet modifications. This is actually old news, at least to those who have done low carbohydrate and Paleo diets.
I have been following this ‘Reverse your diabetes’ guide. It provides some simple and very useful diet tips which did wonders for me. Check it out here: http://bit.ly/1dHnVge

Shu-Chip Tho@facebook

You understand, many individuals are searching around for this information, you could help them greatly. ASUS Notebook Terbaik dan Favoritku

Edmon

Yay google is my world beater aided me to find this outstanding web site! vigrx side effects

Edmon

Hey There. I found your weblog using msn. This is a really neatly written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to learn extra of your useful info. Thank you for the post. I'll certainly comeback. vigrx plus ingredients

meela

Thanks combination of suitable and useful information and well-written sentences that will certainly entice your sense.There are so multiple comments here that are really entertaining and conducive to me thanks for sharing a link especially for sharing this blog. bolainternet.com

jasa arsitek

Really great post, Thank you for sharing This knowledge.Excellently written article. Keep up the great work.
jasa desain rumah

aplikasijoz

i agree with u sir, i want to put your image in my blog. cara root android lenovo a390
Thanks for your attention

abelman671

I definitely enjoying every little bit of it. It is a great website and nice share. I want to thank you. Good job! You guys do a great blog, and have some great contents. Keep up the good work. Read More Next Page

abelman671

The first several months of my site there were no comments; just give it time; now they come in like crazy every day! Thanks. Read More Next Page

malizia lindra

Beloved administrative, thank you for rendering this website publish. Ben 10 ultimate alien episodes I stumbled upon it excellent. Take good care, Good day my close friend! If only to share that this post is awesome, excellent published and will include most really important infos. I’d love to peer significantly more content similar to this.

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account