Quantcast

Monday, June 18, 2012

67

The Best Time I Took a Limo to See Tom Petty and Almost Got to Ride in a Ferrari

I was at a pizza party late one Sunday afternoon when I got the news: I was going to see Tom Petty, from the fifth row, for free, and I would be arriving in a limo.

I had just come to terms with the fact that my broke and unemployed self, living like a refugee from New York in my parents' house in Atlanta for the summer, would not be attending one of my all-time favorite singer's shows, while all my other friends were leaving the party early to get their Petty on. But just then, an old coworker I hadn't seen in 10 years posted on Facebook that he had an extra ticket. I channeled a rabid superfan (me?) and secured not one but two tickets for myself and a girlfriend, and was told "not to worry about it" when it came to paying for them. When I inquired about transportation since the venue was in Bumblefuck, Georgia, I was informed we'd have a hired driver for the night. We sobered up fast from our day drinking and went back to her house to get ready for the concert. I was a bit skeptical about the whole too-good-to-be-true scenario, but after arriving at my friend's place, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and it was "Big B" a.k.a. the driver asking for directions. It was on!

Big B arrives in a black stretch limousine, and my friend and I are giggling and squealing as we climb in and help ourselves to the Bud Light Platinum and Grey Goose and cranberry juice from the fully stocked bar. We pick up my old colleague who was with another guy we'll call "Mr. Blank" and two ladyfriends, and begin the long trek to the show. It should be noted that these people had just been at the Hawks vs. Celtics game, where they'd purchased $120 worth of those oversized "No. 1" foam hands, which made the ride even more surreal. 

Minutes away from the venue and showtime, my bladder was about to burst from all the boozing, so we requested that Big B pull over to a gas station so I could relieve myself and we could stock up on some Bugles (very important detail). Up until this point I had assumed that the tickets were already in hand, but I came to find out we had to make one final stop to meet a man called "Mr. Gold," who was wearing a tan (not gold, sorry) suit and looked like a Little Richard impersonator. I took one look at him and the dodgy looking tickets he handed us and thought for sure we were doomed, with my having just been duped weeks before when purchasing counterfeit Bruce Springsteen tickets (The Best Time Three Friends and I Paid $800 for Fake Tickets to See the Boss).

Miraculously enough, these tickets were legit, and although our bathroom break had caused us to miss "You Wreck Me" and "I Won't Back Down," we could hear the all too familiar chords of "Free Fallin" resounding through the ginormous amphitheater as we made our way to our seats, which were approximately five rows from the stage and in plain view of Tom and all his guitar swinging, stoned Cheshire cat grinning, velvet pants wearing glory. Our fellow concert-goers were a classy bunch and the behavior of one drunk and disorderly dudebro in front of us prompted my friend to tell him she'd "kick his teeth in and stab his eardrums out" if he looked at her again, and his friend ended up goosing her, but hey, at least she won $5 in a bet with him that "American Girl" would be the encore.

BUT WAIT. Just when we thought the night couldn't get any more bizarre, on the way home from the show, the limo pulls up to Mr. Blank's residence, where we're given a tour of a sprawling eight acre, Cribs-worthy mansion complete with saltwater pool, putting green, wall of flatscreens, fishtanks, home gym, guest house, enough sports and film memorabilia to fill a museum and a garage that houses the sexiest black Ferrari I've ever sat in. Come to think of it, it's the only Ferrari I've ever sat in. Apparently his Lamborghini was in the shop (seriously). There was discussion of taking it for a joyride, but we decided to play it safe and leave it in the garage since a) everyone had been drinking, and b) a Ferrari costs more than 25 years worth of rent in New York.

So apparently Mr. Blank is a totally sweet and humble unassuming self-made millionaire under 40 whose wife and kids were asleep, the limo belongs to him, and Big B is his personal driver. Um, okay?

Big B is given instructions to get the rest of us all safely home, and after we drop off my colleague and the other girls, I pick up the carphone and give Big B directions to my parents' house, and as we pull into their driveway I am given a big, fat reality check.

Kasey Price is a Cash Cab winner, drummer for Haunted Boots, former music publicist and aspiring writer from Georgia. She lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, but is currently beating the New York summer heat at her parents' house in Atlanta, where central A/C and swimming pools are abundant. Her work has been published online for Jauntsetter and Take the Handle. You can read more about her adventures on her travel blog.


67 Comments / Post A Comment

Emby

Sounds like you couldn't help thinking there's a little more to life somewhere else. After all, it's a great big world.

fondue with cheddar

@Emby With lots of places to run to.

juksie

but...but...where is your "the best time i was a winner on cash cab"?!?!?!!?! i need to know about this. I NEED IT.

Marzipan

@juksie The first/only time I went to NYC, the primary piece of advice I received was "Get on Cash Cab." ha. I wish I had money for cabs.

CrossWord

@juksie I was also a winner on Cash Cab, but they make you sign one of those non-disclosure thingys at the end so that you won't tell ALL THE SECRETS OF TELEVISION.

kellyography

I could totally write the "Best time I was a winner on Cash Cab" article, if that's something we're paying people to do. Those Cash Cab winnings don't last long!

Elleohelle

As another rabid Tom Petty superfan, I'm insanely jealous about the 5th row concert seats!! Although I would have been bummed to have missed You Wreck Me.

paperbuttons

What does goosed mean?

Reginal T. Squirge

I've always heard it used as a description for when a dudebro thinks it's totally cool that he touches a lady and sort-of-playfully-or-so-he-thinks squeezes her (usually on the side of the torso or stomach). Sort of like tickling but more rapey.

Also known as, "That's assault, brotha."

City_Dater

@Reginal T. Squirge

You've heard it used wrong. "To goose" is to poke in the butt. So, actually even more assaulty than those dudebros who think it's hilarious to grope/squeeze a woman's waist.

RNL
RNL

@paperbuttons My older lady relatives used "goose" for bum pinch.

As in, "when I was a hot 16 year old blonde living in Rome in the 60's and wearing miniskirts on the bus, men would goose me up my skirt!"

Ok mom, we get it, your boyfriend had a vespa and lived in a palazzo with Titians on the walls. Thanks for the pedestrian upbringing. I appreciated the lack of goosing, though.

paperbuttons

@RobotsNeedLove hmmmm. Thanks all. Knowing is half the battle.

Reginal T. Squirge

1. This reminds me of that brilliant Seinfeld episode where everybody thinks George is a white supremacist. (Foreshadowing: shoulda been KKKramer)

2. I'm always shitting on Tom Petty but then am surprised when presented with a list of his hits and realize how many of them I know and love.

3. Why the fuck would you have a salt water pool? That sounds awful. Did I miss something when I couldn't make the last meeting of The Super Rich?

4. You can never describe someone who owns a car worth more than your life as "unassuming".

5. Still can't ever think of "American Girl" without thinking of Buffalo Bill's van.

Nicole Cliffe

2. Pretty much. Wildflowers!

3. Fewer chemicals, bromine is less intense than chlorine and they feel nice on your skin.

I'm sure the chemical stuff is hippie nonsense, but I have a salt-water hot tub and it's kind of great.

Reginal T. Squirge

Oh, you fancy, huh?

Nicole Cliffe

I fancy.

(buffs fingernails on sweater)

insouciantlover

@Reginal T. Squirge Oh shit you covered my below comment with point #5. Well, it's good to know I'm not alone!

Inkling

@Reginal T. Squirge
With regards to body chemistry, salt water can be really good for one's hair and complexion. It is also useful for healing scars, according to my island-dwelling aunt.

Myrtle

@Reginal T. Squirge Also, salt water is more buoyant, and you float like a delicate tiny waif version of yourself. Sposed to be delightful.

LornaLoo

This reminds me so much of my own college story which would be now titled "The Best Time I Flew on a Private Jet With A Man Now Partly Responsible for Bringing Hologram TuPac To Life."

travelmugs

@LornaLoo I want to read this!

LornaLoo

@travelmugs I wish I could tell, but I was sworn to secrecy... In fact the title may already reveal way too much.

youresmalltime

I had just come to terms with the fact that my broke and unemployed self, living like a refugee from New York in my parents' house in Atlanta for the summer

Ohhhh this made me so damn happy. (It wrecked me, and broke me in two.)

insouciantlover

Does anyone else have American Girl and Silence of the Lambs forever and inextricably linked in their minds?

excitedheart

i am friends with your old colleague! it was very strange to read this on here. sounds like a perfect night.

Ophelia

I think the first music video I ever saw was the one for Mary Jane's Last Dance, and it was SO CREEPY and it is still in my head.

I <3 you and your stoned Cheshire cat smile, Tom Petty.

paperbuttons

@Ophelia Yeah like when ALICE is a cake and they EAT HER??

sceps yarx

@paperbuttons Different music video, same awesome Tom Petty.

stuffisthings

Does this mean it's too late to submit my story, "The best time my friend and I met some random guys in a bar and took a limo back to their place and I drank too much Scotch in the limo and then passed out in their bathroom, lost an eyeglass lens, and nearly got arrested on the way home, and then my friend went on to date one of the guys, a well-known liar around town who once got in trouble for trying to impersonate an ambassador, for several weeks"?

Apocalypstick

@stuffisthings Ambassador of where?

stuffisthings

@Apocalypstick A Caribbean tax haven, I believe.

Lucienne

I haven't read all of this, but I'm picturing the limo driver as Amitabh Bachchan so I hope he's a recurring character.

PistolPackinMama

@Lucienne Amitabh Bachchan... I have a t-shirt that reads Amitabh Bachchan can predict the shuffle on his iPod on the back and has a picture of the man himself on the front.

It was a fun afternoon, with the iron-on t-shirt transfers and the internet.

So I heartily agree with this request.

nyikint

@Lucienne Hey, (by the way) who's your icon picture of?

Lucienne

@nyikint It's Madhuri Dixit, in "Choli ke Peeche."

nyikint

@Lucienne Thanks, I should have recognized her!

I remember watching Khal nayak with my father one time, and when we got to that song, he goes '...and that's what you pay your money for.'

fleurdelivre

I would be inconsolably bummed if I missed "I Won't Back Down." Also, can we get "the best time I spent a cab ride with Ben Bailey" next?

sceps yarx

@fleurdelivre Me too! It's my second favorite, right after "(She's gonna) listen to her heart", which is the best song ever written.

whateverlolawants

I loved this. Surreal and awesome. I got to see Tom Petty for free in 2008 b/c I was registering voters at a concert. It was a great experience, but a limo and fifth-row seats would have made it even better.

camarofox79

Thanks for reading! I love all of you hairpinners!

Myrtle

This story was really "Something Big!" wow great story.

josep

I got to see Tom Petty for free in 2008 b/c I was registering voters at a concert. It was a great experience sora license renewal

josep

I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and it was "Big B" a.k.a. the driver asking for directions. It was on! helpful sympathy messages

linkaccu

I was a bit skeptical about the whole too-good-to-be-true scenario, but after arriving at my friend's place, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. buy facebook fans

linkaccu

I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and it was "Big B" a.k.a. the driver asking for directions. It was on! visit here

linkaccu

I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and it was "Big B" a.k.a. the driver asking for directions. It was on! movers nj reviews

linkaccu

I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and it was "Big B" a.k.a. the driver asking for directions. It was on! Carpet Cleaning in London

1963248500@twitter

As a child of two Scientologist parents, a child born into a room quieted in preparation for the return of a reincarnated thetan, carpet cleaning kingston

1963248500@twitter

ound it to be informative and to the topic. Thank you for not rambling on and on just to fill the page. Thanks.. invisible dog fence kit

1963248500@twitter

I didn't recognize. I picked up and it was "Big B" a.k.a. the driver asking for directions. It was on! movers nj reviews food storage

1963248500@twitter

when you do have fish and chips, and beef-and-Guinness stew, and rustic brown bread slathered with ridiculously delicious butter and jam Additional Info

1963248500@twitter

obviously in your web page everything is outstanding. if you publish useful feedback on weblogs there is always the chance that real people will click through Trailer Tent rental

1963248500@twitter

and beef-and-Guinness stew, and rustic brown bread slathered with ridiculously delicious butter and jam,High PR blog comments 1 player games

1963248500@twitter

high pr do follow blog comments
and rustic brown bread slathered with ridiculously delicious butter and jam,High PR blog comments

1963248500@twitter

Blank is a totally sweet and humble unassuming self-made millionaire under 40 whose wife and kids were asleep, the limo belongs to him, and Big B is his personal driver. Um, okay? films en streaming

1963248500@twitter

my friend to tell him she'd "kick his teeth in and stab his eardrums out" if he looked at her again, and his friend ended up goosing her, but hey, at least she won $5 in a bet with him that "American Girl" would be the encore. accident lawyer phone number

1963248500@twitter

I was informed we'd have a hired driver for the night. We sobered up fast from our day drinking and went back to her house to get ready for the concert. I was a bit skeptical about the whole too-good-to-be-true scenario, but after arriving at my friend's place, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and it was "Big B" a.k.a. the driver asking for directions. It was on! ibcbet taruhan bola

1963248500@twitter

I was a bit skeptical about the whole too-good-to-be-true scenario, but after arriving at my friend's place, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and it was "Big B" a.k.a. the driver asking for directions. It was on! refrigerator repair

bill.marks

I was a bit skeptical about the whole too-good-to-be-true scenario, but after arriving at my friend's place, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and it was "Big B" a.k.a. the driver asking for directions. It was on! wolfteam hack

bill.marks

And how did you find the ticket, and did you make any hotel/apartment/whatever booking in advance? And and and! Michelle Lee

bill.marks

To goose" is to poke in the butt. So, actually even more assaulty than those dudebros who think it's hilarious to grope/squeeze a woman's waist. Ephedrine Canada

bill.marks

whole too-good-to-be-true scenario, but after arriving at my friend's place, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and it was "Big B" a.k.a. the driver asking for directions. It was on!
piratage facebook

mp3download

hi guys i start a new project of free mp3 download. here you can download your favorite songs and also can play online, millions of songs are available in database, so dont waste time and dont waste money on other paid websites. click here Mp3 Download and now get fast premium account

Shahzaib Soomrow@facebook

This is a very good post. It has a lot of information, it has finesse, it has class, it has everything that I needed to complete my next project which I had to give today. Thank you very much for that!

Vertical De Aviacion

Saad Butt Saad Butt@facebook

i was just browsing along and came upon your blog. just wanted to say good blog and this article really helped me. psn cards

jackman301

Minutes away from the venue and showtime, my bladder was about to burst from all the boozing, so we requested that Big B pull over best vitamin c serum

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account