Wednesday, June 13, 2012


Let Me Slip Into Something More Crinkled and Alive

"Fermented Fashion: Imagine a fabric that grows ... a garment that forms itself without a single stitch!" says Donna Franklin and Gary Cass's website. "DRESS MADE OF WINE," says reader Alexandra.

[Thanks, Alexandra!]


fashion, art, wine, booze

51 Comments / Post A Comment


Algae seein' ya


@atipofthehat Wine not?

Judith Slutler

@atipofthehat A must-have piece for this season.



These should really be modeled by Kut Moss.


@atipofthehat I'm a-lichen this dress!



Mmm, that dress is scum-tight!

Heat Signature

@atipofthehat These puns are spirulina out of control.


@atipofthehat And I bet it's a bargain-dy! (Ugh, that was tortured.)


@frigwiggin I have been trying to make something work with gruner-svelte-leaner and am not getting anywhere.

But these scientists have chardonnay nice job of coming up with new textile design options!


@PistolPackinMama As long as the dress hasn't got a shiraz. Then it's just going to lead to arrests all around.

And what happens if you leave your dress hungover a chair? Will it stain the upholstery?

fondue with cheddar

@PistolPackinMama She needs a nice bouquet to go with that.


forever one of my favorite @m


Wine dress, placenta-looking dress, something about Cyborgs?


@themmases Wearing starfish as pasties can't be recommended because a) tubefeet, and b) the proximity of nipple to starfish stomachs. (I've been thinking about this since the Aquababe thing posted.)


@wharrgarbl Oh, I did not need to read this. (yes, i did)


@PistolPackinMama Hundreds of tubefeet! And they usually aren't just sitting there, hanging out. Their little feet along the edges are waving in the water and trying to figure out what's going on! How would you even keep them properly covering you? You'd just have to keep prying them off your ribs or your sternum and smacking them back on while they're going "No, you don't understand, there might be something to eat over there, I can't stay here." And if they're particularly not bright, they might try everting their stomach onto you, and then you are going to have a really interesting discussion with your mermatologist.

Ham Snadwich

I don't know. The whole living outfit thing didn't work out too well for Spiderman.


@Ham Snadwich but was his outfit LITERALLY MADE OF WINE?
i think this is a game-changer.

Ham Snadwich

@plonk - So not just a murderous alien symbiote, but a murderous alien symbiote who's also drunk.

Judith Slutler

Finally a dress that I can spill red wine on without any adverse effects? Fantastic! Where can I buy it, and do I have to like, water it at night or something?


@Emmanuelle Cunt alternatively, if you do spill red wine on yourself in a normal dress, you could just spill more wine and then pretend you're just wearing a wine-dress.

Judith Slutler


*dumps bottle of wine over head*

No worries guys, I'm just feeding my living wine dress


I have a wallet made of kombucha culture! It's a little stinky though ... not really ready for actual use. My mister is thinking about using kombucha to make drumheads though!


It looks like someone peeled away the top layer of skin and exposed the shiny red flesh underneath (sorry, that was really gross). I must watch too many horror movies because that was all I could see.

The Lady of Shalott

@olivebee Now I can't unsee it.


@olivebee Thanks for pinpointing exactly why this dress makes me feel all skin-crawly.


@olivebee Agreed, that's exactly what it looks like. The first thing I thought when I opened the link was "eurgh, zombie makeup".


@olivebee yes, it looks like Gunter von Hagens couture.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@glitterary I'm still not sure if the intention was to:
a) do zombie makeup to play up the whole serial-killer-wearing-human-flesh thing, or
b) appropriate aboriginal culture because "it's so organic and in tune with nature."

Either way, I don't like it.


The next step would be to work on synthesizing this wine garment to get you drunker the longer you wear it.

Judith Slutler

So is anyone else getting a Zalando ad on the side of the page that includes only burgundy items??? I refuse to believe this is random.


I'm wearing this crinkly chiffon blush-colored shirt today, and it has these weird ruffles near the sleeves that invariably look like something living to me, like they should flutter gently with a silent wheeze of breath, searching, reaching eyelessly for small things to pluck from the breeze so that it may feed. I actually wish I had more clothing like this.


@frigwiggin I like how you think. Tentacle dresses! Flagellum scarves! Cilia shorts! The options should be endless.


It just looks so wet! That can't be nice to wear. And the model in that first gallery looks SO uncomfortable. Like she's saying to herself Okay Lara, just a few shots more, you can do this, just don't think to hard about it, you need this money, just a few more clicks and then you can get in the shower and wash and wash and never stop washing...

Koko Goldstein

@glitterary And what is UP with the makeup on that second model? "I want her to be clown-like, with a touch of Michael Keaton Beetlejuice, if it were a scary Noh mask."


@glitterary "The Micro’be’ material at this early stage of development smells like red wine and feels like
sludge when wet, but the cotton-like cellulose dress fits snugly as a second skin." They are really selling it.


Nope. Wine belongs in me, not on me, thankyouverymuch.


Mm, beef jerky dress.



If the dress is like a fruit-rollup made of wine, and Edith wears it, wouldn't it get smaller and smaller and smaller as the night goes on?

Heat Signature

@atipofthehat Million-dollar idea: Alcoholic fruit roll-ups. You can use wine, margaritas, pina colada...the possibilities are almost endless, really.

fondue with cheddar

@frigwiggin A beef jerky dress sounds all well and good until some pumped-up juicebox decides it would be funny to "snap into" it.



If so, counter by spilling solvent on his Jägermeister slacks.

fondue with cheddar

@atipofthehat Solvent sounds like a good solution.


Marge Piercy! Woman on the Edge of Time! Future utopian society, ahoy! I look forward to the artificial wombs & male lactation that will be appearing imminently.


"By combining art and science knowledge and with a little inventiveness, the ultimate goal will be to produce a bacterial fermented seamless garment that forms without a single stitch."

But aren't they using wine? So wouldn't it be yeast? Are they using wine to grow bacteria/wouldn't that be difficult because of the alcohol? I looked at the rest of the website and they're talking about cyborgs and I don't know what is happening.


@VDRE i was also confused for a sec, but upon further investigation it turns out that acetobacteria are the things that turn wine into the filmy stuff the fabric's made of.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

Edith, why no crazy statement tags? Like I'D EAT THIS DRESS IF IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE HUMAN FLESH, SERIAL KILLERS, PORTABLE ALCOHOL ? I was expecting a funny tag or two.


Oh man, I looked at it and thought "Man, Daenarys totally should have been wearing this when she ate that horse heart."

Barry Grant

"A fermented garment will not only rupture the meaning of traditional interactions with body and clothing; but also raise questions around the contentious nature of the living materials themselves."

Sounds like somebody needs to get away from design school for a while.

Also: You spill some wine on it at a party, and before you know it there's a gaping hole and you look ever more deranged as your slime dress decomposes, leaving you drunk and naked.


@Barry Grant

But doesn't that happen at pretty much every party, anyway?

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