Any plans this weekend? Stay cool out there.
That looks like my all-white kitty! Awww.
@olivebee Mine, too. Right up to and including the "wedge self into hole from whence to observe the outside world" part.
@wharrgarbl Haha, my white one (I also have a gray one) does that, too, but she wedges herself into spaces because she is scared of everyone and everything except for me. I recused her from a shelter that rescued her from a kill-shelter that rescued her from an abusive home, so she looks out at the world with more fear than curiosity.
@olivebee is it true that most all white cats are deaf? i heard this last night.
@ohyeahmetoo I've always heard that but never met a deaf white kitty. Mine's got one blue eye, one green eye, and full hearing in both ears. (Her mother's the same with all three traits.)
@olivebee Mine does it for the same reasons. Only she was rescued from the woods, so she thinks everyone but me is going to eat her and doesn't know how to sit in laps properly.
@ohyeahmetoo I think it's blue-eyed white cats? Wikipedia claims you can get half-deaf cats with one blue and one green eye, though wharrgarbl's cat shows that doesn't happen all the time. Genetics: they are interesting and I wish I understood them better!
@ohyeahmetoo I was going to comment that this is absolutely true, but then I remembered that I learned this from a Baby-Sitters Club book, so I'm not sure.
@ohyeahmetoo Mine is not deaf (though she has green eyes), as proven by the sound of the scoop going into the kibble causing her to gallop into the room. I had an almost all-white cat with blue eyes growing up, and she didn't have the best hearing, but she wasn't fully deaf either.
@ohyeahmetoo I've had it explained to me as, not all white cats are deaf, but a majority of deaf cats are white.
@TheBourneApproximation My coworker has a sibling pair of white cats with blue eyes, the pure white one is deaf but the one with a few black hairs can hear. The deaf kitty runs around meowing at the top of her lungs nearly always...It's kind of endearing. What she told me is that all white with blue eyes are always or almost always deaf, but if there is any color in the coat they are likely not to be deaf similar to one blue eyed one green eyed.
@olivebee OK, I wasn't going to post this since I came on so late, but then there was A CAT in that picture, and now I am reaching out to the 'pinner community. Particularly those in the Philly area. As I have mentioned before, Dude and I are foster parents for a stray cat organization. We are COMPLETELY IN LOVE with our current charge, but we cannot afford to be a forever home for him. Which is just breaking our hearts. We are also really dragging our feet on posting his profile on the adoption site, because then PRACTICALLY ANYBODY could adopt him and HE DESERVES A PERFECT FAMILY. So, if anyone knows of a Philly-area loving, caring, devoted person/family looking for a ridiculously adorable kitty who likes to talk to you and follow you around the house, and loves to be held in your arms like a little baby, and will eat anything you leave unattended for more than thirty seconds, please let me know!
@wharrgarbl I thought it was Cat Jail.
@Veronica Mars is smarter than me
As a fellow Philly cat-lady, may I suggest that keeping Mr Perfect Paws (that is his name, isn't it??) might not be as unaffordable as you think. In particular, there are so many more options for cheap vet care these days now, it's just amazing! On the other hand, being a foster home is possibly even more amazing, and I understand weighing those options all too well.
Also, kitten season seems to have been especially bad this year with a very large crop of kittens -- so adoptions aren't moving very fast, especially for anything over 4 months old. (It's dumb, but true, that people like little tiny.) So, in all likelihood you'll still be fostering him until the fall! You're not keeping him from finding his perfect family. May I ask which org you foster for? I am sure they will be more than happy to let you have some control over the adoption process!
@Quinciferous I'm with Stray Cat Blues, they're in Montgomery and Bucks counties. I would like to know more about these cheap vet options, because I seriously think my heart might break if we have to say goodbye to him... Can we continue this via email? My (non-real-name) gmail is mittnormey.
@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Great, I responded via email. Let me know if it doesn't get to you!
These are amazing!@t
Everybody post your twitters, tumblrs, blogs, pinterests, websites, ranty letters to the editor, google groups, etc.!
ETA: If you are trying to link, the html is [a href="site url goes here"]description text goes here[/a], with <>s instead of s. And editing your post will destroy your html.
Can I really do this again? Is it kosher? And where is your blog? I've found some lovely blogs via other 'pinners.
Dressopotamia is my blog about my (mostly) vintage dress collection. I was having a bit of a crisis about my mom's reaction to it, but after showing her my post about Mad Men, I realized that she didn't have an ideological bee in her bonnet about a fashion blog, she just didn't get that it was about more than fashion. I think we can be friends again.
@miss buenos aires Yes, really! At least, I am asking you to, and I'm sure people are interested but didn't see it last time, and your blog name is still amazing.
I'm here, for all people's ridiculous Tom Hiddleston reblogging needs.
@miss buenos aires I LOVE YOUR BLOG and am also obsessed with vintage (i.e. thrift store) dresses. Seriously, never stop blogging because I will die.
@wharrgarbl if anyone needs game of throne reblogs and shiba inus, i am your inconsistent blogger. lana.tumblr.com
@BucketsOfCool Thanks, cats! I will eventually run out of dresses, but I am aiming to blog every weekday through the end of the summer!
@wharrgarbl I tweet as tekkah and am also known to occasionally remember to blog at tekkah.net, though it's not themed or anything. I just blab there about things. Usually I come up with lists. I talk about books a lot?
Also, I'm shadowfacks.tumblr.com but all I really do there is reblog a lot of things that make me laugh. And pictures of Chris Hemsworth.
@Scandyhoovian I'm on twitter as MelissaNibbls
@wharrgarbl Twitter: mk_patter
Blog: blog404.org (not just me, but it's a blog for nerdy ladies by nerdy ladies, basically), but we will soon be renaming/revamping the site! And we are looking for contributors, particularly for style, so if you have ideas SEND THEM IN.
@wharrgarbl This is me: literarydrunkard.tumblr.com/
I go poetry heavy, and have freak outs over boots and seals (OMFG, seals in boots. Boots on seals).
@Scandyhoovian my tumblr basically exists at this point for reblogging pictures of beautiful people and also yelling about my feelings, so I completely understand.
WHICH if you want to see every picture of jeremy renner on the internet you can visit my tumblr here.
@wharrgarbl Tweet me at @chelseamlong and witness my weird collection of things I like here.
I have a question, too! I saw mention of a Facebook group for 'pinners/pinups? I'm moving to NYC in a week and desperately need some smart lady friends, so I would like to join that group, but I can't find it!
@wharrgarbl I am whereismyrobot on twitter. It's locked down right now, but send a request!
@whereismyrobot You have to accept mine as I also have a corgi!
@all *follows everyone on twitter*
@cmonster I think everyone is still using this google group to organize pin-ups. (Someone please correct me if it is now elsewhere.)
@wharrgarbl I blog at TheSassyTart.tumblr.com - thanks to the new readers I've picked up since I posted about it last time! My blog serves as an online recipe journal as I try to recreate and share my Great Grandmother's desserts recipes, compiled from about 1908 or so through the late 1930s. There are two completed recipes up so far, with a few treats planned for next week including a special July 4th post!
@Megano! Done and done!! We can swap Corgi pics!
@wharrgarbl Thanks! I am in that group, but I SWEAR someone said something about facebook at some point. Maybe it was in regards to a book club? Anyone?
@wharrgarbl eoporto.tumblr.com which is basically my brain + tumblr and apparently I am not bright enough to do HTML?
@wharrgarbl LaCane on Twitter. Mostly I just whine about books and hair.
@wharrgarbl I talk to myself on the Twitter at @Sedna_51.
were you to attempt to follow me on twitter you would instantly seize into a frozen maze of poisoned bones so i do not advise it
@evil melis too bad, i followback.
@wharrgarbl I tweet far more than is probably reasonable using the handle TheUnchosen_One.
@wharrgarbl I am JuliaWinegeart on Twitter and this is my pinterest
but I'll post it here normally since my internet has been all kinds of funky today and it won't let me edit comments once they're posted: pinterest.com/jbw
@Megano! keep me posted, this is relevant to my interests!
@Jane Err FOLLOW @MALLELIS INTO THIS DARK CAVE OF COURSE I KNOW THE WAY OUT WHAT I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING
@wharrgarbl I tumbl at bitchelf.tumblr.com and mostly post/reblog pictures! I overuse the "gyneocracy" and "old time beach party" tags!
@wharrgarbl I am meetapossum everywhere.
@wharrgarbl Why yes! I do tweet!
@wharrgarbl Anyone interested in table settings and meat carving at court banquets from the Renaissance to the present day? I've got a tumblr for that (I can't follow instructions, because I can't get the html to work because I am an idiot. Anyway: trinciante.tumblr.com). Or I'm over on twitter as trincirer.
(This is a new username, to separate my normal oversharing commenting from an identity that is supposed to be slightly more professional.)
It's Tumblr, so I mostly reblog Avengers, Tom Hiddleston, puns, and other nonsense.
@Mabissa Aww, your href didn't work.
@abetterfate I think that's the definition of Tumblr.
@wharrgarbl I write about around-the-house stuff and vegan food at vegetalion.blogspot.com, though I've been terrible about updating lately.
@wharrgarbl My HTML failed and then I deleted my comment! Anyway, my corgi has a Tumblr at corgiofthenorth.tumblr.com. We don't update it as much as we originally intended to, but it doesn't help that the weather is The Worst right now in SE Alaska (cold, monsoon-like) and we aren't getting to take him out much.
@cmonster There is a Facebook group! Am at work right now, so can't link to it, but search last week's Open Thread and you'll find it!
What kind of style contributions? I mean I am not personally stylish, but I like making Polyvore sets based on superheroines. o.O
@maybe partying will help YES! This is exactly what we're looking for. There need to be a few words to go with them, but that is the sort of thing we've been trying to find.
Here's all the info to apply: http://blog404.org/2012/05/23/404-still-wants-you-to-write/
@wharrgarbl I've posted my regular tumblr here before (renleigh.tumblr.com), but I've recently started a dumb novelty tumblr at michaelfassbendertouchingthings.tumblr.com. As the name implies, it features photographs of Michael Fassbender touching things, because Prometheus and also he is hot.
@miss buenos aires
You could names dresses for Modcloth!!!
@wharrgarbl Aw, shucks. Thanks for letting me know!
@Queen of Pickles Ah, yes! That's exactly what I was looking for, thank you!
@cmonster is this a general Hairpin facebook group where we can chat? or...is there a hairpin chicago yet?
@cmonster Yes, what is this Hairpin Facebook group?
@cmonster @slutface @lady_terminator I only belong to the SF and Portland OR hairpin groups, but if someone has a link to a general hairpin group, that would be AWESOME
@miss buenos aires OooooooOOOOH! Holy crap, man--I have to confess, I haven't even read a word yet because I'm over here all, "MORE PICTURES!" and scrolling like a banshee! And, boy oh boy, do I wish I could find me a "Va Va Vinyl"! This blog is fabulous; I love it! (But shame on you for making me want to shop like a lunatic when I am trying to save some dough for a move!)
Just last weekend, I discovered, deep in the bowels of my closet, dress my mom made for herself in the '70s. It was a maxi but she shortened it for me a long time ago (the '90s, maybe?) into a Marcia Brady-length mini. That thing still fits even though I have since then gotten a bit curvier. If it were made of something other than a super-heavy (and kind of weird) fabric, I'd be wearing that thing right now...with purple tights.
@realtalk here is a link to the San Francisco Pinners facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/sfhairpinners/
@cmonster Another! SF Hairpinners
@cmonster WHY DIDN'T MY HTML WORK. thanks, lady!
@realtalk alright i'm making a chicago one. sound good? brb.
try it out. The Hairpin Chicago group on facebook.
@wharrgarbl I started a Tumblr WhiskeySourest this week. It's a lot more comic book focused than I had anticipated. Eventually it will have more diverse topics, I promise. I've just been playing a lot of Lego Batman 2 so I have comic books on the brain. I can't wait to follow some great people!
@wharrgarbl I've never been good at blogging or anything but I recently became obsessed with Pinterest (mine is pinterest.com/weaselpins). It started when I was trying to find a place to put inspirational photos for my apartment and now It's mostly pictures of things I think are pretty and/or clothes that I want/hairstyles I want to learn to do plus a little food.
Hairpin Decor Group!
Come TALK about PRETTY THINGS.
@wharrgarbl I have a very scatterbrained tumblr here: caitlinthinks.tumblr.com.
@Renleigh this might be my favorite thing ever. I'm blaming my lack of coffee for why it's making me laugh so very much
@wharrgarbl I would love to name dresses for ModCloth! Do you think they could pay me in clothes? Because their mod dresses are mad expensive.
@Hellcat You have to wear that dress once the weather cools off! This blog is forcing me to re-appreciate the hidden corners of my closet.
@miss buenos aires I am in the process of what I hope will be a fairly significant closet clean-out before I move in August. But when it comes to clothes, I'm afraid I have definite hoarding tendencies. You seem to have quite the wardrobe; any organization hints or suggestions on how to honestly decide on what stays and what goes?
Here's the dress if you're curious... and would it have killed my mom to make a lining? Ha!
What do you think--dark purple tights? My brain first wen to brown but I feel like that might look too much like those old-school "suntan" pantyhose!
@Hellcat I am actually terrible at culling the collection. I was hoping that going through it piece by piece would force me to face facts about what I need to get rid of, but so far... not so much. You will see shortly... I literally wear my clothes to pieces.
I suggest organizing a clothing swap. Bring the clothes you kinda sorta think you want to get rid of, retaining the right of backsies. If no one wants them, that means they are no good and you should toss them.
Regarding your dress: it is hawt! Chop off the sleeves and forgo tights. Unless, you know, it's winter. But I still think you should lose the sleeves.
@wharrgarbl WHOA. That dress is awesome. Purple tights would be cool, but you could also totally do opaque mustard/marigold tights with the dress because it would jive with the centres of the flowers toward the top. Personally, I like the sleeves because they balance out the miniskirt and the scoopneck.
@miss buenos aires Today I am having a friend come by to help with the culling (I really know how to get the most out of a sort-of holiday weekend!); we're starting... with footwear. Why, yes, I do need 24 pairs of black boots in varying degrees of clunkiness--don't we all? I am terrible at the cull too. You know what's hard? Band t-shirts, even when they're too big and look stupid now (I was a teenager in the '80s; our Ts were big no matter what your body's size). On one hand, why keep it if I look like a child wearing his dad's shirt. But, on the other, vintage Duran Duran t-shirt... aaaah!
I think I am going to leave the sleeves on, though I can picture how cute it would be without them too. I feel like I don't have that many dresses with full sleeves to begin with, plus if I hand the dress back to my mom to take off the sleeves, she will have it forever and ever.
And opaque mustard tights! YES!
@miss buenos aires Yay, thanks! I actually thought about this very thing before, but my indecisive nature (you know, the very same one that causes me to buy and keep all of the clothes to begin with) somehow got in my way ("But what if I DO decide want to wear it again sometime?" "What if I need for a really cool Halloween costume?). But thanks for reminding me of this!
@wharrgarbl Ahhhhh I am SO late to this party (weekend vacation, eating all the food, etc.) but here is my Tumblr! I haven't been posting on it much because I'm currently studying abroad BUT I read everything on my dashboard every day and I love all y'all 'pinners so I will probably read the entirety of all of your Tumblrs.
@wharrgarbl I'm @opheliainwaders but I don't tweet that much...
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT 'BUNHEADS' UNTIL NOW?
It's GILMORE GIRLS with BALLET and BEER.
@Jade So is it actually good, though? I haven't seen any episodes yet, but I saw a clip on The Soup that made it look terrible.
@Jade But it isn't!! I don't like any of the characters, the adults lack life skills, there's way too much small town quirky going on, and I'm finding it predictable. Yes, the quick dialogue is kind of awesome, and I want to see more "pony, pony, pony, and pas de deux, now snake" or whatever (more dancing!). But it is not Gilmore Girls, nowhere close, and I will watch it only to see if they can get it together in 6 episodes. If not, it will be dead to me.
@Jade @olivebee But it is good! It's not Gilmore Girls, yet, but it could be. It has so much potential. THEY DRINK BEER! I love Sutton Foster. If they let me down I will be so sad. But then again, I might as well have a memorial for Gilmore Girls in my apartment, that's how much I miss it.
@olivebee I've only watched the pilot and it's good.
It's good in a way that asks you to suspend your disbelief and not think too hard or be too cynical about it. Because it's rough around the edges but has SO MUCH POTENTIAL.
Michelle: "I'm like Godzilla. Men run from me. They flee. And not just Japanese men. All nationalities flee."
Hubbell: "I won't flee."
Michelle: "Buy some comfortable shoes."
Hubbell: "I'll be the one scientist who understands you. The one who knows that you're not burning the city down because you're evil, you're burning the city down to protect the giant lizard eggs you just laid in a cave by the ocean. A cave no one knows is there but me."
@terrific Yes, I am hoping for more dance. But it looks like the potential love interest is a poor man's Colin Firth, so I am super psyched about that! It's a good summer filler so far.
@olivebee No, it's pretty shitty, actually. Emily Gilmore and fake Lorelai are good, but the storyline is weird, and the teenagers and everything about them (their acting, their storylines, their dialogue) are all terrible. Also, Amy Sherman-Palladino got called out on how there are no people of color on the show, and her response was even worse than Lena Dunhams and really pissed me off.
@Jade Watch "Dance Academy" instead....it's an Australian show about a ballet academy. Like Center Stage, but with a ton of episodes. It's on Netflix instant and it's AMAZING.
@lizzle OH. I WILL WATCH THIS AS WELL. I am obsessed with TV and also competitive dance tv and where they intersect I am delighted.
@lizzle Oh goodness I watched this whole series in a week. I can NOT WAIT until Season 2 is out already! Also my friend just recommended Breaking Point on the CW (Hulu/ online).
@New Hoarder Point-e?
@thebestjasmine Yeah, I liked the pilot, but then the second episode annoyed the crap out of me forever. I think they put all the good stuff in the pilot and then ran out? I love Sutton Foster, but I found the dialogue really grating and cutesy and the teenagers incredibly annoying. I thought killing off the husband in the pilot cut off a potentially interesting storyline. But I was never a Gilmore Girls fan either.
But can we talk about Breaking Pointe?? The reality show about ballet??? Because that is awesome in all ways.
@Jade Downloading Bunheads now. Also, who wants to talk about So You Think You Can Dance? THREE ballet dancers? A BELLY DANCER? A martial arts dude? A boy AND a girl get to win! I'm excited y'all!
@WaityKatie Okay, has Breaking Pointe started yet? Because I have totally been excited about that, and am going to be pissed if I missed the premiere.
Bunheads has been totally disappointing to me, and I loved Gilmore Girls! The teens are just terrible, and it's not all their fault, because the writing for them is the worst.
@Megano! OH MAN THE MARTIAL ARTS DUDE. Loved the baseball routine. SEE TYCE? That's how you do a baseball dance.
@WaityKatie I love Breaking Pointe!!! Except I have to DVR it because my CW affiliate keeps switching the day/timeslot around. And I can never remember anyone's name, because they all look like skinny brunettes to me :(
@Jade The baseball routine was amazing! As was the all boy routine, so so hot. The dancers are pretty incredible this year.
@Jade *I* would like to talk about SYTCD. ! Last season had wonderful dancers but Nigel ruined it from Day 1 telling the boys there was no way they'd win because "our girls are beasts this season." That and every episode was one of 19 contemporary dancers dancing to a Travis Wall piece. UGH.
SO. Excited for this season! The answer to every Ask A SYTYCD Viewer this season will be: The Swiss Guy. This seasonseason will hopefullyyou earn them backto that second night!
I can not tell you how loudly I shrieked when I saw the Men en Pointe in thethe Pride Parade this weekend. I made them feel like slabs of lean meat. "They're duckwalking! SO HOT."
Sorry for any typos- I'm on my phone.
@Jade I won't lie, I am a pervert and was excited for hot dancer butt in tight baseball pants.
@thebestjasmine You can tell Sonia (Sonya?) enjoyed choreographing for them.
@Jade Yes! The martial arts guy...I have to admit, I didn't really notice the other two much in that routine. I was too fixated on how great it was to watch a martial artist dance.
@Jade For those who don't have DVRs, Breaking Pointe is available on Hulu. Loooove me some dance shows.
@thebestjasmine YES it is like 5 episodes in! Get on it!
@WaityKatie Breaking Pointe is awesome every time it focuses on the dancing. The endless Rex-Allison relationship trainwreck, not so much.
@LooseBaggyMonster I agree, Allison is such a whiny pain in the ass. I want more Beckanne. And Ronnie.
@lizzle Dance Academy! I am simultaneously embarrassed and proud that people outside Australia are seeing this! the acting! the ridiculous situations! teenagers! it's awful/wonderful and I'm not even sure anyone here in Oz watches it. it's on, back to back episodes, Saturday afternoon here. discovered only because hangovers and it's winter. has become weekend tradition to be home for DA and tea binges, retreating from Real Life. but, how gorgeous is Sydney? they do a great job showing off the city, sometimes we lie on the couch and feel bad that we are not outside running around and/or having awkward crushes on lithe dance boys in the sun.
It's Canada Day long weekend! And also the Pride Parade! And the Euro Cup final! AHH TOO MANY THINGS FOR THREE DAYS.
I was going to get to leave the office early today but now I can't because deadlines and hearing back from people and blahhh
@cosmia EURO CUP THIS WEEKEND! I am going to be drunk as balls by 12pm. Thanks, Pacific time zone.
@realtalk AAAH, I need to remember to find a place to get drunk and watch this.
@realtalk Oh god last night I went out to wander the streets because Toronto PARTIED THE FUCK OUT of Italy's win. I can't even conceive of what will happen if they win on Sunday.
@schrodingers_cat find a sports bar. if you are a cute lady, people will buy you drinks. taking advantage of the patriarchy, wooooo
@cosmia So jellz! I have exams in a week and can't do, like, anything. SO sad. Halp!!
Euro Cup?? Honestly, I'm not a huge soccer fan but that sounds like a fantastic reason to sit in an air-conditioned bar!
@cosmia Pride + Canada Day + EuroCup win = ???
@realtalk Yes, this is my plan. This year is the first time I have been in a city and of legal drinking age for a major soccer event and I plan to take advantage.
@schrodingers_cat Don't suppose any Mpls Pinners want to go watch the soccer somewhere?
So my psychologist said I might probably ought to go and talk to my doctor about getting on anti anxiety medications. I'm scared! :( :( :( Will they make me a zombie person? Has anyone been on them and found that they help?
@angelan My serene, functional self says... dude. It can be fine, yo.
Sometimes it isn't, but still. Give it a shot.
@realtalk ESPANA 2012 YOU GUYS
GUYS I went to see the Mountain Goats on Wednesday and John Darnielle is such a beautiful human. I love him.
Also I've had a really good week. SF Pride was NUTS and also, makeouts with cute ladies. YAY.
@realtalk ALSO, if you have any interest in Third Eye Blind or Call Me Maybe, someone did a mashup and it's PERFECTION.
@realtalk I often resent my work's block on YouTube videos, but never so keenly as I do now! I want to hear that!
@realtalk ALSO I got a job interview in the area where my ex-boyfriend lives, haha/ugh and I'm not taking the interview but it's SUPER flattering to be asked!! EXTERNAL VALIDATION, Y'ALL
@SarahP does your work block tumblr?
@realtalk Ah "Autoclave" really is one of the best songs ever. I've never seen the MG live but hopefully one day!
@realtalk John Darnielle is just an awesome human being.
@Kate Croy he's on the tail end of a west coast solo tour and HONESTLY he's one of the best performers I've EVER seen live. I cried for 70% of the show and laugh-cried hysterically for the remaining 30% of the show. It was SO cathartic.
@realtalk The Mountain Goats are great live! Have an awesome time!
@realtalk aahhhhh! they are absolutely forever and ever the best. ok, I am going to forreals brag here, but when I saw them he came off the stage and grabbed my head and sang INTO MY FACE for a few fucking glorious seconds. ahhh I'm getting all blushy just thinking about it!
@realtalk Ha, YUP, basically I'm just lucky I still get the Hairpin here. (Oh god don't let that be a jinx...) But I'll check it out when I get home!
@realtalk Super jealous! I've wanted to see him forever but the one time I found out about a show in Toronto it was last minute and I couldn't go. John 4:16 makes my heart feel thick and heavy in the best possible way, although picking a favourite Mountain Goats song is the closest thing to a me-version of Sophie's Choice.
@LibrarySwampThing he was amazing. Basically picking a favorite TMG ALBUM is like Sophie's Choice for me, so.
@kickupdust AHHHHHH I'M DYING WITH JEALOUSY AND JOY FOR YOU
@realtalk Yes! I saw him live for the first time last fall, and he is truly amazing.
@realtalk The Mountain Goats are the best. I still get aflutter thinking about one time when we were close to the stage in San Francisco and he sang while staring right into my eyes *swoon*
@realtalk John Darnielle! I love the weird things he says at concerts. A friend said that at a concert he was at John said, "You know, some people think the glass is half full and some half empty. But I just think that there are people starving out there."
Also, another person I know saw him at a concert where he was introducing a song about a friend that killed themselves and someone in the audience yells out to get playing music already. In response John walks into the crowd and plays the song staring the guy in the eyes the whole time. GAWD, I love that guy.
You guys know he has a twitter account, right? It's @mountain_goats And he posts lots of soup recipes and just asked people to submit pictures of Insane Clown Possums.
I still don't have the air conditioner stuffed into the window yet, and I don't care! WHOOOOOOOOOOO SWEATBOX PARTY FOR EVERYBODYYYYYYYY!
@werewolfbarmitzvah You should probably get on that. Forecasts for everywhere involve spontaneous human combustion this weekend.
Not Portland. 70 and rain.
@wharrgarbl "Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported."
@meetapossum Love you!
@wharrgarbl Not even expected to get up to 60 degrees in Juneau, AK. And it will rain all weekend. Sigh.
@werewolfbarmitzvah Ha! I just came home from work and turned it off. I left it on all day for the cat but now that I am here to keep an eye on her, I'm having a grand old time in the heat!
Speaking of cat, I don't know if anyone remembers that I posted last week about my possible dementia-addled one, specifically about whether I should go the pet-neurologist route. Well, we visited our regular vet today and he said that she's "doing fine, considering" (she's put on a little weight and was having one of her more lucid/animated days). He suspects there might be something "going on," but reiterated that, if she were his cat, he'd hold off on anything invasive and upsetting, like car trips and extra doctor visits, and all that goes with them. So, while the curiosity and the possibility of snapping her out of it is nagging at me, I'm thinking that her comfort is the priority for now. i think this is a relief... though I will admit I haven't heeded my vet's "STOP GOOGLING!" advice all that well.
@Quadrophenia Rainnn. I want rain! My grass is crunchy, and I can't run in this ungodly heat. Rainnnn.
@all Y'ALL...this weather! my feet are perpetually swollen. any tips from you wise 'pinners?
TOM AND KATIE: DUNZO
@Daisy Razor WAIT, ADELE IS PREGNANT??? god, I hope her next album isn't about her baby. I've had enough of that from Alanis Morissette, thanks.
@Daisy Razor Tom and Katie = five year contract complete.
@Daisy Razor But didn't CNN *just* report that they were renewing their vows?!
@realtalk Aw, I was just thinking that I would love to hear her singing lullabies. Christ knows I'm sick of hearing about her failed relationships.
@Daisy Razor Katie allegedly blind sided him. That's a new level of delusion right there- how did he not see this coming the minute he stopped jumping on Oprah's couch?
@Daisy Razor Until people started responding, I assumed you were making both of these things up. What?!
@Daisy Razor Ooooh, I need to go check Suri's Burn Book to see what "she" has to say...
@charmcity Isn't that typically a kiss of death?
I'm happy for Adele!
@SarahP Yeah, I messaged my two gossip buddies and they thought I was kidding too. I guess all the crazy items get dumped right before July 4 weekend!
@Kirs If that's true, I have a newfound respect for Katie for escaping CoS.
@Kirs I'm kinda excited to see what Katie's post-Tom phase is going to be like. I wonder if she needs the Hairpin Breakup Bunker.
@realtalk She'll call her next album "0" and begin the cycle again. :/
@olivebee I checked a bit ago and there was no post. I wonder how "she'll" handle it. I do feel sorry a bit for the real life Suri
@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside Me too! I hope she sluts it up. The girl deserves it!
@Daisy Razor I am seriously so delighted by the Tom/Kat divorce, especially at the reports that he was blindsided. I hope her family's intervention finally worked.
@Daisy Razor Whaaaaaaatt Adele is only a year older than me! And is in the boom of her career! But I remember reading in an interview or two that she really wanted to be a mother, so I guess it's not too surprising. I hope she still makes lots of albums, though...
@charmcity Everyone knows that is the first sign things aren't going well!
@Daisy Razor I am BLOWING UP gchat right now. I hope Tom was her Dawson phase and now she can find a Pacey and be all <3<3<3 forever.
@eoporto PACEY FOREVER!
@Daisy Razor I'm so glad someone posted this!! And yet, re: TomKat (I JUST WROTE THAT), I feel sort of...meh. Glad for her, maybe?
@Daisy Razor My boyfriend: Do you think they're divorcing because he got Adele pregnant?
@Daisy Razor I know! I texted both of those news items to my friend, who was on a field trip to the zoo, and blew her mind up. FYI, she's in a master's program, I'm not friends with children or anything weird like that. But I honestly think Katie was brainwashed at the Hollywood Scientology Center and now they will probably send those minions to stalk her as a means of intimidation. KATIE: PLEASE WRITE A TELL-ALL BOOK ABOUT TOM'S CREEPY SCIENTOLOGY DOINGS!
@thebestjasmine (Oops I'd posted downthread y no talk about this? ) But I just re-watched "The Wonder Boys" this week and was grieving over Katie's life lockdown. End run and touchdown yay! Spike that ball, girl.
Katie: Was it "Rock of Ages" that put you over, or the upcoming "Spacesuit in a Crater" thing he's shooting now?
@olivebee You do not want to know how many times I rereshed Suri's Burn Book today waiting for her response.
@Mere I never thought I'd say this, but I cannot wait for Katie Holmes's scathing tell-all memoir.
@abetterfate Yes! I usually avoid anything in the tell all genre (especially the Rielle Hunter one, just reading an article about the book made me feel icky) but I really want to read her's now. I think Scientology is the train wreck I cannot look away from.
@abetterfate Suppose the Co$ lawyers have that a gag order on her saying anything? I don't think Nicole Kidman ever has. Or Mimi Rogers?-?
@Verity But that would involve him having sex with a lady...
@Myrtle I can dream! Seriously though, there was that incredible expose about Paul Haggis and Scientology in The New Yorker a while back that gives me just enough hope to cross my fingers for Holmes writing something dishy about those lost 5 years.
@Myrtle I agree. I'm guessing she is legally prevented from writing anything. My bet is we will never hear anything much about their relationship.
@Daisy Razor Not to be a mean terrible internet gossiper, because divorces are super tough for everyone, kids included and it's really none of my business (but what details of celebrity personal lives are?)
But what do y'all think of the pervasive rumors that Suri's biological father is not Tom Cruise but Chris Klein? Would this possibly complicate custody issues?
@WhiskeySour I fully believe these rumours because she looks a lot like him.
@Pizzahut I'm sure she's not legally prevented from writing anything now, but it just depends on if she wants money from Tom, and (much more likely) what the custody battle for Suri is likely to be. She might sign some massive secrecy pact in order to get full custody of Suri, that's probably a lot more important to her than the money.
@Megano! I always thought Suri looked a lot like good old Tom.
@WhiskeySour Normally, I think you'd be right re: "it's really none of my business," but I think this one is different - regardless of whether the relationship was "real" (jury's still out, right?), expecially at the beginning, they milked it for as much publicity as they could get. Once you open up that door, I don't think you can shut it as soon as bad stuff starts to happen.
I just found out that I have bedbugs, am currently in the process of attempting to decontaminate all of my things, and really, really need someone to tell me they got through this without any lasting mental anguish.
@zero They're really annoying and persistent and disgusting, but at least they can't give you anything?
@zero This is terrible news. I wish you all the best. Have you checked out bedbugger.com? They used to have a pretty good support forum although it can be somewhat depressing to read, but it might make you feel less alone. Are you on your own or do you have a supportive landlord? I still have bedbug-PTSD from a few years ago. We only got rid of them by moving out, but they did not move with us. Please let me know if you have any questions!
@wharrgarbl I was about to give you advice, but then realized that the story behind the advice could lead to even more mental anguish for you. So here is the advice, devoid of anguishing context: make sure EVERYTHING is done by a qualified professional.
@Marquise de Morville Yeah, I've read I don't even know how many pages on that site. Does running clothing in the dryer for 45 minutes on high really work? Did you get a Packtite? What, oh my god what, am I supposed to do with my hundreds of books/vinyl records?
@zero oh man they are the worst. what I did, and has worked, is this: wash all clothing that has been on the floor/bed or touched things that have been on the floor/bed in hot water, and then hot dry for an hour. put shit in bags until after someone has come to spray your suite. vacuum everything, a lot. vacuum vacuum vacuum - it at least keeps them under control. buy the mattress/box spring protector bag things.
and honestly, don't worry that much about books/records. the only thing I did furniture-wise was have beds/couches/soft shit sprayed, and vacuumed my dresser etc. ymmv, of course. I've known people who put their stuff in storage for however long the bugs are able to live without food. seems drastic, though.
@zero The clothes dryer method works. What we did: Picked stuff you'd wear for a week, keep separate + 1 set of sheets and towels. If it's summer where you are that makes it easier. Ran everything else through the drier (you can skip the washing, and it should be safe.) From the drier everything wentinto trashbags (don't let it touch much in the laundromat if applicable). We got giant ziplocs (KMart has them cheapish) and bagged everything up, until the treatment is over - sad but likely true, most of this will stay bagged for months. We ended up changing clothes when we got home and bagging up the outside clothes, handbags etc while inside, so we'd not carry stuff to work.
We had a lot of books, and we did get a Packtite, it was very much worth the cost. We ran it overnight, filled with books, then triple-trash-bagged the books, that way it would not rip and you could get rid of the outer layer after they spray the insecticide. I am not sure what to do about vinyl, sadly, but most of our electronics stuff survived the run (router etc.) If your infestation is not too bad, you could try to inspect + vacuum everything by hand and then bag up?
Try not to panic, find some calm space. For me listening to classic music helped, this invasion of your home will cause you a lot of stress, and it will be hard for anyone who has not dealt with it to 'get it.' But you can do this!
Set your AC to really cold, that way the bugs will be less active. I should add that for us the whole building had been infested for years, so we could only contain and move when the lease was up.
@zero I AM A BB SURVIVOR. The worst. You will get through it, though, after a few breakdowns in the process!
I laundered and dried everything on HIGH for like an hour, then had to do it all again because the first "terminex guy" that was being paid cash didn't do the right stuff, so we had to do it again with a professional company when my roommate started getting bites. I can recommend them if you're in NYC!
You can buy a steamer to steam items that you can't wash, and you can technically set books (and I suppose records) out in the hot sun for a day to bake and that's supposed to help. I bagged all my books and set them in the sun in the trash bags...and it was fine, but who knows where those things will hide.
What is a Packtite? And once you've completed treatment and have a new mattress, you have to invest in the high quality mattress and box-spring covers (I got pillow covers, too). And I bought "Climb Ups" which can help monitor anything trying to climb up the legs of your bed -- and pull it away from the wall. You want to "isolate" the bed for awhile afterwards.
You can also buy Diamaetous Earth (sp?) online, which is a cheap and natural powder made from crushed up sea shells or something, and it will dissolve bugs' exoskeletons. I laid a thick powder line all around my room and my bed for awhile.
Feel free to ask any questions! Feel free to cry a lot! And spend the money for the best treatment, so you don't have to do it all again -- it's so worth it.
@Stevie I recommend caution with the DE, it is similar to asbestos and can cause lung disease, but I can see how everything that works seems a good idea. And yes, professional treatment is the best. A Packtite is a heated box that keeps stuff at 125F for more than an hour, which kills the insects. It was originally developed to heat-treat suitcases for frequent travelers. It's way too expensive but it does its job.
@zero i got bedbugs last September and it was a nightmare, but luckily one that was over VERY quickly and required WAY less purging/packaging of things than i thought. my advice would be: 1) DO NOT READ ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET ABOUT BEDBUGS (people don't know what they're talking about and it will freak you out), beyond this of course, heh, and 2) (to echo others) fork out the money for a trained professional, it will (probably, i understand being very broke and just not being able to afford it) be worth it to restore sanity. i felt a million times better after the exterminators came and sprayed. if you are a renter (in nyc at least) your landlord technically has to pay for an exterminator. we called our negligent landlord, he refused to do anything, we hired people anyway and took half the cost out of our rent the next month(could have done the whole thing, my roommate and i are just timid) and that was that.
depending on how long you've had them (the professionals will know) they will hopefully not have spread to any area that is not your bed and it will be totally unnecessary to worry about things like books (though you can put books without any metal on them in the microwave for 15 seconds each and it will kill any vermin). bugs are not interested in books and clothes, etc., they will only end up there by accident when looking for food (blood, ew).
more unsolicited advice: try not to sleep somewhere other than your bed while this is being dealt with, i understand this may not be possible for you due to the freaking out/no sleep you may be experiencing, but leaving will make those suckers look elsewhere for food, thereby spreading them throughout your home and making them harder to conquer.
if you are in the nyc area i have an exterminator recommendation, they are pet-friendly and will come back as many times as necessary for up to 6 months. pricey, but seriously, they know their stuff.
@Marquise de Morville OH lord, I had no idea! Everything I'd read was all "safe for pets" because they give it to them to treat bug pests, I believe, so I figured it was safe for people? Oh well, I'm not using it anymore since we've moved, but I'll be careful if I ever do.
@zero Are you in NY? They have to disclose by law if there were bedbugs in the building in the year before you signed the lease. If you recently moved in, and they did not disclose it you may use this to get out of the lease easier. I hope you won't have to. Our landlord paid for multiple treatments, but since the whole building had issues that was not successful.
@ Stevie I am sure you will be fine! I hope you'll never need it again for anything but gardening.
@Marquise de Morville Thank you so much, I haven't even told my friends yet because of all the shame involved. We're getting an exterminator as soon as the apartment is prepped, but since I have next week off work that responsibility is mainly mine, and is so overwhelming. I am thankful I'm going to be living in sundresses out of plastic bags instead of sweaters and tights (sweaters and tights, please survive the dryer!) and I've been rewatching Breaking Bad while waiting for the dryer to cycle through. At least I'm not married to a secret meth dealer spiraling deeper and deeper into a life of crime!
@zero i was ashamed to tell people too, but seriously, bed bugs don't discriminate and it has nothing to do with cleanliness or anything you did wrong. i figure it happens to everybody who's lived in a city for long enough (well, since 2005 or so).
@ohyeahmetoo : I want to echo everything you said. Perfect advice.
@zero, I'm sure your instinct is to CLEAN EVERYTHING WITH FIRE but you'll get through it without having to destroy all your stuff, I promise; just stay off the internet, follow the advice of the professionals (and Ohyeahmetoo!), and take care of yourself. Best of luck!
@zero The shame is the worst part, you can't mention something that took over your life, most people are disgusted, and it's not like you can hide in your bed... It's like an apartment STD. The first weeks are the most intense, it will get better. I think in NYC one in ten people had to deal with it. Again, best of luck. I would still look up stuff on the internet, there are some neat scientific articles out there, but it is hard to find good advice. I wish I had held on to some stuff I discarded in panic, so I hope you can keep calm.
I had a job interview today! I picked up my new car on Monday! I am probably going to the ocean this weekend to take pictures!
The car is lovely and wonderful and I am smitten. I'm a bit perplexed by the volume knob, which seems it have a mind of its own, but it is a simple mind and I think I've figured it out enough so that I can blast "A Life of Illusion" while I drive down the highway. Right now I am carefully trying to figure out how many miles I can wring out of a tank of gas.
This week's jazz purchase: Stéphane Grappelli, Joe Pass, and Niels-Henning Ørsted Pedersen, Tivoli Gardens. 45 minutes of unadulterated joy. Treat yourself.
Happy Friday, Hairpin!
OK, apologies in advance for some grossness, but I need some advice and moral support from other running Pinners. Has anyone out there lost toenails from running? I ran my first half marathon last weekend, and have already lost the nail on my fourth toe from a run a few weeks ago, but now I think the big toe is gonna go.
What is done is done and yes, I will probably size up my shoes from now on, but what do I do in the meantime? It is summertime and I can't not have a big toenail! Do y'all use press on nails or something? Helpa me.
p.s. I plan to not run this weekend.
@janedonuts I understand this is totally normal (and totally a reason I don't run long distances). I have no idea what one does, but I'm sure there'll be lots of awesome advice, and if not, people totally aren't looking at your toes as much as you think they are. Like 1 in 20 you talk to will notice, and 1 in 100 will ask.
@janedonuts Totally a common thing. Wear it as a badge of honor for being a running bad-ass.
That, and you can paint the skin where the nail used to be. No one who matters will notice.
@janedonuts I'm not a long distance runner, but my brother is. He wanted this book: Fixing Your Feet for xmas one year. So maybe that will have some answers?
But seriously, I've only been running a short time and I've developed some freakin' foot issues. Maybe I need better shoes?
@janedonuts I'm a runner. I've never lost the big one, but I regularly lose the toenails on my second and pinky toes. Usuallly, it's like, it splits into two? Like, there's an over-toenail that gradually becomes detached, and an under-toenail, that grows beneath the over-toenail. So, by the time the over-toenail falls off, there's already another toenail there.
But I think what you're describing is losing the entire toenail? That happened to a friend of mine, and the next time she got a pedicure, she had the person glue something in place. If it were me, I would probably just cover with a band-aid.
@janedonuts I have lost toenails for other reasons, I usually put a bandaid over it or just hope no one is looking at my gross feet anyway.
@swirrlygrrl Yeah, I know, and yet...
@themegnapkin Yeah, I basically had a huge blister under the nail and it's become partially detached. Am assuming the rest will eventually follow suit, but maybe I'm wrong? May have to do the band aid.
@Kirs That book, holy shit! Hopefully I will not need it. Thank you!
@Ti:Sapph I am a runner check out my mangled feet! Seriously, first world problems. I just have vanity issues with my feet I need to get over I suppose. They've just always been the one thing I never felt insecure about.
@Megano! Ugh, not good times.
@janedonuts It does grow back really fast though!
@Ti:Sapph This. Just paint the skin. I played basketball for 15 years and most of the time I only had 8 toenails (curse you, god-like long second toes!). Just make sure it's a dark enough polish color.
Just be awesome and look awesome and I guarantee that, as that dude says in Ever After (which I have mentioned before, but whatevs), "No one will be looking at your feet."
@janedonuts Yep, this happens. All I could do, once I noticed toes starting to get sore, was wrap them in Band-Aids and medical tape. I also realized too late that my heels were sliding in my running shoes so once I stablized my heels with heel inserts that stopped some of the chafing that dislodged the toenails.
(Related to Bunheads thread above: SPOILER This week the dancers were in a contest for the studio with the grossest feet, and the bitchy dancer/ Rory Gilmore-lookalike lost her big toenail which helped clinch the win.)
@janedonuts I have no real advice because I haven't had a full set of toenails in years. I guess you could paint the skin? Not a reason to skip running though!
@EternalFootwoman Yeah. I actually probably will run, but wanted to wait to see what was going on with the big toenail - ran on Monday and it just made things worse. Now that it's less painful I'll probably get out there again.
@janedonuts I think this does actually happen, and can even happen to non-runners based on their footwear/walking habits.
That being said, two weekends ago my boyfriend accidentally kicked my second toenail off (right next to the big toe) and I was like, whatevs no one sees my feet. But Then my mom took me out for a pedicure and they just sort of filed the remnant down and brushed powder on it. It is my first fake nail ever (fake toenail) and it feels crazy and I sort of want to rip it off but then I'm back at square one.
@ginalouise good to know! may give that a shot.
@janedonuts Also - since it's only partway detached, you might be able to glue it back down with superglue. Ugh disgusting! But I've done it, and you can't tell if you nail-polish over it until the detached part grows out.
@janedonuts apparently it is common enough that UltraMarathoners sometimes have their toenails permanently removed https://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/22/fashion/22FITNESS.html?_r=1
I think for your needs some better fitting shoes will do the trick.
@queenieliz That link needs to come with a warning! I remember when that article came out... Some of those photos are terrible, and what's seen cannot be unseen.
@janedonuts I ran distance competitively for 6 years in high school, and never once lost a toenail.
The secret is to a get shoes with a large enough toe box (Our coach was from 3-4 generations of running coaches and always suggested 1-1.5 sizes too large. The other thing that will save your life is cutting your toenails as short as it is physically possible to get them, and recutting often! You get blisters and ripped toenails from them catching on the shoe/sock just a little bit every time you stride, and if they are short short, they wont do that near as often.
As for the lost toenail, I'd bandaid it, tape it, paint it, or ignore it.
(I have DEFORMED fourth toes, and the tips hook under my third toes. Hellloooo blister city! Anyways, I just paint the tip of the toe that shows and my feet look much less freaky. So I'd suggest that? But maybe paint your toenail with Newskin first so that you don't get polish in your wounds!)
I have a date tonight! With a baby! Well, not really. But I am 7 years older than he is. I've never dated that young before- I tend to go with guys who are older than me.
I really hope it goes well because, quite honestly, I need to have sex. Soon. Maybe even tonight.
@Kirs younger guys are awesome! (I feel like there's an opportunity for me to talk about this at least weekly on the Hairpin) - have fun!
@teenie all the thumbs up!
@redheaded&crazie and how is your younger dude experience going?
@teenie it's going well! it's been a quiet week though so nothing too fun to report ... and i have to have some kind of talk with him about some things cuz, that's just who i AM ya know? but i predict it will go well and i'm looking forward to the long weekend! YAY! :D
@redheaded&crazie This makes me super happy. :-D
Ok, html hates me today. New hair: https://twitter.com/#!/Menshevixen/media/slideshow?url=pic.twitter.com%2F4AKQv8Nh
Only weekend plans involve seeing Magic Mike as soon as possible. And playing lots of Game of Nerds.
@maybe partying will help Ooo, it looks good!
@maybe partying will help I'm seeing Baberaham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter AND Spiderman AND Magic Mike in the next week. God help me or at least help my movie budget. SO PSYCHED THOUGH!
@maybe partying will help Nice! Also I followed you on Twitter.
I actually had to make a budget for films this summer. There was/is legit one every weekend I want to see. Goodbye monies.
Thanks, camanda and Lily Rowan! I like it. Breeze is nice on my neck. :B
@maybe partying will help Sweet. Just be careful about sunburn until any skin your hair used to cover gets used to the exposure!
@maybe partying will help
All the girls in the laboratory I work at are going to go see Magic Mike. There is one guy who works with us, and i think he broke his eyes he was rolling them so hard/so many times today!
@maybe partying will help
My roommate just came up and said "How cute, who's that?" and i said "Oh, it's an internet friend from the website I like! We're starting to shave our heads now." And then she smiled and her eyes said "cult!" and she backed all the way away.
@maybe partying will help YAYYYY Do you love it???
I don't sunburn after mine's half an inch long or so, but I have really thick hair. Hats!
@Inkcrafter Soooo, is it time for me to start working on you to join this cult?
(If we're a cult, here's mine: https://plus.google.com/u/0/108063375871243939193/posts)
@maybe partying will help My dear friend is IN Magic Mike! She gets tied to a tree and Tarzan rescues her! I can't wait to see it! :D :D :D
But I am SO VAIN about my hairrrr.
If the Hairpin is a cult, I have done drunk the Kool-Aid.
I love your hair AND your glasses! Adorable.
Is there any chance other pinners maybe uhhhhhh watched the legend of korra....? You know, for science/the children? Cause I wanna know if anyone else is as INTENSELY DISAPPOINTED by how they wasted so many amazing opportunities. Super great female lead? CHECK. Female lead is terribly flawed but super fun to watch? CHECK. Female lead doesn't have to work through any of her issues and is suddenly told that she was basically valid in thinking she's useless without her bending skills and she didn't have to spend any time discovering her own self worth or learning to accept herself as she was ....? Um, also check. NOT TO MENTION the issue of equality just sort of petering out toward the end, leaving a generic bad guy behind. Plus the romance. What?!
(ok fine whatever, i watched it on my own, sans children. you wanna fight about it?)
@breccia ugh, ADULTS!! too busy to watch children's shows, am I right, self?
I haven't seen Korra yet (YET. God why is there so much TV) but Tumblr seems to agree with you here. Which is too bad. Everyone had such high hopes! :(
@maybe partying will help OH WAIT NO SPOILERS, ahem, please. Because I am in the process of watching, and right now it's totally wonderful and making me want to take back up martial arts. Does she loose her bending? Oh my god, I'm worried now. :///
@adorable-eggplant Also, I don't even remotely have children, and I watch a lot of animated stuff. No shame.
@breccia I have watched it, thought it was beautiful to look at and pretty fun, but I think the short season is what made it so disappointing. The Last Airbender was the perfect length - just enough time to let the characters breathe but never letting your attention flag. I didn't feel that way about Legend of Korra. One season was just way too short to develop that storyline.
Also, people need to stop apologizing for watching Korra! The Last Airbender was a kids' show, but they definitely created Korra for The Last Airbender's original audience, who are all adults now. Also...kids' shows are awesome.
Cartoons ARE awesome! We watch lots and lots of DCAU in our house (Young Justice is amazeballs) and the new Green Lantern animated show is way better than I expected.
@breccia I did watch it ALSO FOR SCIENCE. When I was at around the 4th episode I complained to my friend (who had already watched it because I watched it all early this week) about how I felt the whole bender/equalist conflict lacked nuance and he's like 'there will be more nuance' and there was I guess but I still feel unsatisfied. Like the whole 'benders hold all the positions of power' thing is a good point? Maybe that should be explored more as an issue?
Also the romance bugged me because I <3 Korra but I feel SO BAD for other girl and the show just kind of treats it like it was inevitable. But it wasn't! Other girl was a badass too. A badass whose name I forget, sorry.
@VDRE http://avatar.wikia.com/wiki/Asami_Sato I felt for her too. Dear Asami, he's just not that into you, and you are awesome. Go hit other people with your scooter: they will appreciate your greatness.
And I more empathy for the non-benders would be great! Oppressed people totally deserve a voice and respectful representation. It's not unreasonable to be angry about being second-class citizens.
@breccia is it online at all? How far are they in the season this year? I want to watch it so bad. I loved Avatar so muuuuch, I tell everyone about it and they all look at me like I'm nuts for being a grown ass woman watching a kids show.
@Lady_Terminator It's on the nickelodeon site, I don't know if it works outside of the US though.
@VDRE omg full episodes, thank you!!
@Lady_Terminator it doesn't have captions :( hard for me to watch.
@breccia INCRRRRRRREDIBLY DISAPPOINTED. chirart on Tumblr did a great breakdown of why the season crashed so hard.
I have poison ivy and IT IS THE WORST. Especially because I used to be immune, but I guss you can lose your immunity? And my legs are covered in not just ugly, but itchy, painful blotches, so I'm wearing tights even though temperatures are around 90 this week/end.
THIS IS THE WORST.
@SarahP THE WORST.
@SarahP Yeah, you can develop new allergies. Ask my mom about her recently acquired latex allergy!
I'm sorry you're so itchy :( Do you have any kind of lotion or anything to put on it?
@SarahP Are you sure all the oil is gone and you're not reinfecting yourself? Did you use Tecnu to wash yourself? And take an antihistamine?
@realtalk The antihistamines appear not to be helping, but I got some Aveeno w/cortisone and it reduces the itch for a little while. I went crazy washing everything I wore the day I think I was exposed to it and everything I wore the next day, AND everything I could have touched in the meantime... so I'm pretty sure I won't reinfect myself. But of course, every time I have an itch I worry it's more of a rash surfacing.
Nature used to be my friend!
@SarahP I am so sorry. Heat and allergic rashes are awful (I had one from Penicillin in summer '05). Which antihistamine are you taking? I ended up needing prescription steroid pills - don't suffer if the weaker stuff won't help? Also: Maybe try to avoid mangoes for the time being, it's a similar allergen to poison and you likely don't want to end up allergic to the fruit as well.
@Marquise de Morville Loratadine. I'm sort of wondering if I should see my doctor. But don't they only do anything about it for really severe cases?
Also, I have a just-ripe mango on the counter I totally would've cut into if I hadn't know that. So thanks (also: nooooooooo!).
@SarahP Agh I had a TERRIBLE case of poison ivy in high school (note to self: rolling around in fields with cute boys is far less romantic in reality than on TV) and found that Gold Bond Medicated Powder worked better than the 45 other products I purchased to make it bearable.
@SarahP Sorry about the mango warning! If you a bad rash and you are dealing with the heat wave then there is no need to suffer. I think a bad rash is a severe case, and if you unconciously scratch yourself it may just make it worse? Maybe try Benadryl, it is a bit faster acting, but it will put you to sleep. It's older, but more effective than the non-drowsy allergy stuff.
@SarahP i'm allergic to PI. it's truly The Worst. i'd recommend a lukewarm/borderline cold bath in any of the Aveeno soothing bath treatments and, especially during this time of year, throw your basic sunburn aloe in the fridge and slather that shit on every 11 seconds.
Alright dudes. My manfriend and I are going to be adopting a cat at some point in the coming months. Any advice, knowledge, or hot tips on how not to accidentally pick a cat that harbors a grudge against all humankind would be appreciated!
@Kate Croy co-signed on this. Pet adoption can be kinda stressful!
@Kate Croy um, don't they all harbor a grudge? Or maybe they tolerate humanity with at least grudging indifference.
Seriously though, if you can have a chance to observe the kitties you have to choose from, you can kinda tell if they are meanies, cuddlers, playful scamps or bitch queens. Are you, or have you thought about, adopting a grown cat, i.e. not a kitten? Because you can avoid a lot of the annoying stuff and go straight to having an awesome beastie.
@Kate Croy Much of the time you'll be able to tell when you meet the cat (though in kittenhood some personality traits might be harder to detect), but overall boy cats tend to be a bit more lovey dovey than girl cats.
@Kate Croy get a fully grown cat (THEY NEED THE MOST LOVE) that responds to you at a shelter playroom.
if kittens, choose the runt. they will be silly/ridiculous and the least likely to be a jerk.
@Kate Croy If you come up to the cage and they just purring and rubbing against the bars and generally acting like they really want you to pet them, you're golden.
@charlesbois We're thinking about getting a 1- or 2-year old. I would love a kitten but my partner has reservations, which to give him credit do probably make sense.
@charlesbois Nah, my cat was friendly even in the pound, and he has been a super lover (some might say to the point of neediness) ever since!
@Kate Croy aw that's excellent. Have you thought about adopting a black cat? They have a hard time being adopted and they are usually fun and loving kitties. The only thing is, you should keep them indoors around Halloween. (And for reals, kittens are hella high maintenance compared to a full grown cat)
@Kate Croy I actually volunteered at the shelter for a while before we adopted Miss Boris Karloff, to scope out the selection. I definitely co-sign on getting an adult cat. Their personalities are pretty much what they are going to be, and they are so often overlooked! A lot of them will practically leap into your arms and purr their little hearts out--those are the ones you want. Boris is not as clingy and affectionate as she was when we first adopted her, but she is a purr machine. I'm so excited for you guys!
@Kate Croy If you happen to be in the DC/VA area, check out Tails High. They take in found cats - many adults, but often litters of kittens - and make sure they're super-socialized to people.
@Kate Croy I second the "get an adult cat". I went in hoping to get a 2-3 year old, but left with a 12 year old maid. She's a lot less maintenance than a kitten, and so, so, so affectionate.
Spend as much time as you need with as many cats as you want. If one keeps climbing into your lap, headbutting you, or reacting well to toys, then you've found your pet!
@Kate Croy The shelter in my area uses the Meet Your Match system http://www.aspca.org/adoption/meet-your-match/meet-the-feline-alities.aspx. It's really helpful. Maybe a shelter in your area does too? But even if they don't have a specific system, the people who work there should be able to direct you to cats that would work for you personality-wise.
@Killerpants Oh that's fantastic. I'm definitely looking for a Love Bug.
@everyone -- thanks so much for the advice!
@Kate Croy Oh good, glad it's helpful. Happy adopting!
@charlesbois We adopted a black cat in May! Well, kitten. We went to a foster home in our 'hood where the cats had been rescued from a kill shelter. We were actually going for a 9-month old one, but he was soooo afraid of us and anything, and this little runty black kitten kept coming up to play with us (and he was the last of his siblings to go, of course), so we made the tough decision (at the time) to take him home with us. He's now about 12 weeks, and he's alternately super cuddly and sleepy or super hyper and bitey (in a playful way.) We're working on curbing the bitey-ness, but overall he's very fun and we just are growing up with him (in our cat knowledge.) The one downside is we discovered that he has feline herpes (from the house o' cats foster home) and so he's had a respiratory infection and pickeye, but he's almost done with the meds and doing well. Hopefully we'll just have to monitor it and it won't be a larger issue -- he is in a loving and careful home now!
In sum, if you read up on kitten behavior and training and you find one that "clicks" with you, go for it. I know he may change a little as he gets older, but hopefully he'll always like being held like a baby. :)
@Kate Croy If the place you're adopting the cat from has information from staff/volunteers about the cat's behaviour with people, pay attention to it. My boyfriend's brother and his partner adopted a cat a few years ago. She appeared purry and friendly when they met her, but as soon as they got home, she was aggressive and unfriendly; she gets on better with them than anyone else, but is still very bad around people in general, and will attack if you get too close. (I catsat her for a week and couldn't stroke her at all; if I was near her, she went for me. Ditto for my boyfriend.) They have said that they should have noticed something was up when the member of staff getting her out for them put on gloves to remove her from her cage, and the log written by people who played with her said things like, "I am scared of Dumpling; she bites".
Oooooh cat adoption!! I second getting a slightly older cat (aged 2-3). If you have reservations about getting a cat whose character you don't know well, I'd go with a private rescue. That's where I got my cat--we have several in Toronto. They're really great about knowing each cat's personality and very very careful about matching. My super-friendly loving cat is a Russian blue, which is a breed I recommend for friendly, loving behaviour, but they are high energy.
The other commentors are right about black cats--they are just as sweet as any other cat, but they get less love. Definitely consider adopting a black cat! (My second cat is a black cat from a private rescue, and she's a total sweetheart, albeit a huge chicken....)
@Kate Croy My cat was 10 months old when I adopted him -- and I knew he was the one who was coming home with me because I sat in a chair in the Young Cats Room at the shelter, and he jumped onto my lap and started purring. And many years later, he still just wants to hang out on my lap and purr. (I love him so much!!) Make sure you take your time and get to know the cat before you take him home, and you'll do great. Adopting my cat (and his new brother-cat) was honestly one of the best adult decisions I've made.
@Kate Croy The vet told me to go to the shelter late on a Saturday afternoon and see which cat was the most unfazed by having been manhandled by small children all day. I did, and brought home a totally social and sweet lovebug of a kitty!
@Megano! Awww, I ended up choosing my cat Tim because, as I turned away from his cage (that shelter didn't have cat rooms) to pet another cat, his little arms shot out through the bars and started snapping at my coat! Then he was mine, all mine, for 17 years (and now immortalized in a tattoo on my upper-inner right arm).
I chose Alex because he stood up on his hind legs, put his paws on the fence, and made squeaking noises until I picked him up. 11 years later, best kitty ever ever ever. Aww... now I have to go give him cheese and love.
I hope you find a lovely (adult) cat! Okay I'm really gunning for an adult cat for you, they know about scratching and pooping and they were once someone's dear little kitten and now they're alone in a cage. Also, in regards to the love bugs, my mom's best companion was the most shy, broken (broken tail, one eyeball, broken eared, half-toothless) cat from a shelter. At first he just hid under the bed, but gradually began sleeping on top--on the very edge, by her feet, by her legs--until he was up on her face every night. He used to trick her into sticking her fingers in his empty eyesocket, and was very tolerant and kind to my infant sister.
@Kate Croy When you've picked out whatever cat and bring it home, really give it time to settle in. Try leaving it in a small room, even a bathroom or something for about 3 hours when you first get it, and leave it the hell alone, even though you want to go pick it up and squish it. When you let it loose into your house and it hides under your bed or couch, don't pry it out. Just be cool. It'll come out eventually, and if you try to force it out, it will add to fearfulness.
Getting any animal from any kind of rescue is a good deed, and you have to get a pet that is the best fit for your household, so I'm not trying to guilt you by saying this, but I want to make a case for ex-mama cats. Kitten season was early and extreme this year in my area (east coast US) because of the mild winter, and lots of mamas with litters end up in shelters. Many times, the kittens are adopted pretty quickly, but the mamas get left behind. Lots of those mamas are former family pets that their people didn't get spayed, and so surrendered to shelters when the kitties suddenly had a litter. They need love too, is what I'm saying.
On that note: anyone in or near Baltimore want to adopt my ex-mama foster kitty?
@frenz.lo Someone dumped a cat at my parents' house in the country (a common thing, we've had tons of animals dumped there) who shortly after had five kittens. We gave away four of the kittens and got her and the last kitten fixed. The former kitten is not very tame, he runs away when he sees people (haven't petted him since we took away his manhood, I think he hates us), but the mother cat is soooo awesome. I imagine it wasn't her first litter and her owners were tired of her having babies? Idk. But she's so sweet :)
@Inkcrafter Oh, how cute! I've got a cheese fan now; all you have to do is say, "Want cheese?" and she runs to her pillow where I usually put it. When I was on vacation, I left pre-cut little squares of cheese for my friends to give her when they came in to feed her and do the box.
@baked bean People who get stray animals fixed are great people! I know a lot of people are still resistant to getting their pets fixed, even in this, the year 2012, but it is so important.
@frenz.lo Yeah, the local humane society has a "barnyard special" where you pay some low price for the first and every one after that is less. I think the reason it's low is because it's done by students at the University in their classes. I believe the students actually do it for free, and the fee is actually just a donation to the humane society. I feel like it's a great deal all around for everyone. We try to tell people about it when we can.
She thought she was only taking the mother cat and her son, but then another cat mysteriously showed up the day before and she just put him in the dog carrier with them! Unlucky guy! Haha.
Hi, open thread! I am angry because I have to go look at apartments tomorrow instead of going to the beach, because they are trying to raise my rent $300/month, but then I am happy because I am only working 1.5 days next week, and I can definitely go to the beach then!
Also, I forgot to make plans to see Magic Mike!
@Lily Rowan Hey, did you get caught in that insane thunderstorm after the Egg Pageant? Or did you make it to the wedding reception unscathed?
@Lily Rowan What! That is a CRAZY rent hike! Is that even allowed!? (point: my sympathies, I know how hard apartment hunting can be. BEST OF LUCK!)
@Lily Rowan I forgot too! I want to go now. Like, leave work, chug a beer, and go see it.
@Scandyhoovian I haven't had a lease in a year or something AND there is new ownership/management, so basically they can do what they want. Bleh. I will try to negotiate, but am taking this opportunity to see if I can stand a cheaper neighborhood.
@Daisy Razor I had the mot magical experience! The bus came right as it was starting to rain, and it was done by the time I got home! Magic.
@Lily Rowan Going to the beach during the week is definitely preferable to going on a Saturday. You can feel smug that other suckers have to work!
It sucks about your forced move, but maybe you'll find an even more awesome place! Where are you looking?
@Lily Rowan I am more excited about that movie than makes any kind of sense! Channing Tatum, stripping! Matthew Mcwhatshisface being sexy and seedy!
@SarahP The Green Line broadly, I guess, given what I'm seeing on Craigslist. AND I'm trying to move for 8/1, which you know is unheard-of, but I do not want to participate in the 9/1 clusterfuck.
@Kate Croy And it's Steven Soderburgh, so I think it's actually good? I was hoping for "Showgirls."
@Lily Rowan It's a Critics Pick on the NYT, strangely enough, although I've lost some of my faith in Manohla's judgement ever since she Critic Picked "Year One," aka the worst-goddamn-movie-in-the-land.
@Lily Rowan Ahh, I'm so glad you didn't get drenched. And I'm sorry you need to move. Boston is insane!
Also, I am hooked on French 75s now. Forever.
@Lily Rowan Do you need company at the beach next week? I am happy to hear you did not get rained on. Also: your awesome cocktail finally convinced me to like gin!
@Roxanne Rholes Thanks for hosting, it was a lot of fun.
What is the best spot for a picnic with a larger group?
@Marquise de Morville I like the arboretum!
@Marquise de Morville Yay gin!
And re: the beach -- maybe? I have tentative plans with another friend already, and frankly am sometimes just anti-social.
@Marquise de Morville
The Commons? Once upon a time we were planning to have a Pinup Picnic there...
@Lily Rowan No problem, I sometimes feel awkward exploring on my own and I can be quite anti-social myself, so I challenged myself with asking. I hope you don't mind!
@Roxanne Rholes This looks pretty. Although they have an anti-picnic policy according to their website.
@Marquise de Morville I support that! I will definitely email you if things fall through with my other friend.
@Lily Rowan Let me know, thanks!
@Neener Neener I was thinking along those lines. My idea was to start organizing one soon, but I don't know the city well enough so I am collecting possible spots.
I am shopping for houses this weekend. I feel like such a grown-up. And then I might go to Lake Michigan. Yay beach!
In other news I need a better job. I think I'll do a 5-color neon manicure to perk myself up about employment.
@charlesbois I did such a manicure last week and it brightened my days. And yay Lake Michigan!
@whateverlolawants btw, love your handle! My grandmother used to sing that song at me when she thought I was being a spoiled brat.
@charlesbois Thank you! I wish I'd known it as a kid. I found it in a songbook in high school and decided to sing it for a solo at our choir cabaret show. I sat on a stool and wore a slinky black dress, feather boa, bowler hat, pearls, etc. etc. So fun!
I'm planning a trip to Montreal in August! Any tips on fun things to see/do?
@probably Mary Shelley Eat at Joe Beef. It's my favorite restaurant anywhere.
@probably Mary Shelley Shopping on St Denis. Also, eating at Chu Chai (fake meat thai place - so good!) Walk up Mount Royal (or take transit and walk down) - lovely view. Check out a festival if you can. Enjoy the "European" vibe, and don't worry if you don't speak Frenhc.
@probably Mary Shelley All the vintage shops are on St. Laurent. Definitely also go to Schwartz's for Montreal Smoked Meat (also on St. Laurent, just further up the street), and get some Montreal Style Bagels, because they are The Best.
@probably Mary Shelley Mile-End for Cheskie the Jewish bakery, the Drawn and Quarterly bookstore, boutique and vintage shopping, and cocktails at Sparrow! The Beaux-Arts museum is pretty fabulous. Drink lots of local beer--especially St Ambroise frambroise (raspberry--trust me) if you can find it. Prepare for heat and humidity, and wear comfortable shoes. And have a wonderful time!
@Cat named Virtute Oh yes! If you are a fan of high quality beer Montreal is wonderful. Another good Quebec beer is Unibroue's Chambly beers (like Blanche de Chambly).
@probably Mary Shelley: My husband and I accidentally found what is apparently one of the best French bistros in the city: L'express. We loved it. If you like meat and meat flavored things, get the bone marrow w/ sea salt. Sounds weird, but you will not regret it.
@Megano! Bagels from St-Viateur. And if you can handle the wait, brunch at L'avenue. Does not disappoint.
@probably Mary Shelley
Yes, go to Patati Patata on Rachel. do so immediately.
@all Thanks so much! I'm so excited (for vacation/new place)! Double thanks for the beer recommendations.
@probably Mary Shelley Seconding Schwartz's! Also, eat poutine after you drink all that good beer.
@RK Fire THIS!!!
@probably Mary Shelley Replying cause I too am going to Montreal in August, making this thread relevant to my interests!
@probably Mary Shelley Go to the lesbian night at the city's oldest cabaret... Tuesdays, I think? Also buy a few dozen bagels and smuggle them back into the US. Freeze, and eat good breakfast for a month.
@probably Mary Shelley Go see Notre Dame and revel in the purple, blue, and gold interior that is simultaneously ostentatious and gorgeous.
I was supposed to leave for Cairo today (for work!! 6 weeks of work in Egypt!!) but my visa hasn't come through. Wah! They've rescheduled my dates and flights, and I get to be in Canada for Canada Day, and in Egypt for Eid, and more time to prepare for the job, but I'm still finding myself super stressed (and stress eating) over the change. It all feels unreal. And now I have to cancel a flight I'd booked, because I was going to Beirut next weekend.
@swirrlygrrl Ahhh, Egypt for Eid! Egypt for Ramandan is supposed to be bananas, I'm jealous and excited for you! I hope it goes well.
Good luck with your trip and hopefully you can reschedule that Beirut jaunt
@nito Eid! The best! So much lovely food and sociability and new outfits!
In the past week:
The cat left yesterday to go live with friends in Arizona.
Grandfather has harder-than-we-had-hoped-to-treat skin cancer.
Lots of good:
Visas for myself and Lady_Sapph approved!
One-way tickets to Australia from San Francisco bought for us!
One-way tickets from Atlanta to San Francisco for a week of visiting/pre-move vacation bought by us!
The Aussies are sending a team of movers to ship (AND PACK!) all of our stuff for us!
And they booked us in a hotel for a whole month after we arrive!
These Australians know how to do a relocation package right!
OK SO I just finished The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and I really liked it despite the fact that it could easily be summarized as "Swedish Finance, Journalism, RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPEITY RAPE, VIOLENCE! RAPE! Tattoos!"
And then as I was about to just plow into the next one, two things happened:
1) Nora Ephron died and I picked up Heartburn, and
2) My Deptford Trilogy came.
NOW I AM TORN. What do I read next? ...well, Heartburn, because I'm already halfway through it (WHAT SHE'S FANTASTIC) ok but after that do I do Deptford first or do I do the next Larsson? Or do I read them simultaneously and risk some seriously weird plot-crossing in my head?
@Scandyhoovian Make sure you read Nora Ephron's Stieg Larsson parody in the New Yorker before you do either of these.
@cuminafterall ...oh my god. OH MY GOD. Laughing until I cry, oh my god.
@Scandyhoovian The second Larsson was my favorite of the three, but I feel like you need a break between those books or else you'll get nightmares, so read Heartburn!
@cuminafterall aaaaaaaaah! I'm reading the third one right now and am newly in love with Nora Ephron so this is perfect. Especially because there was a sentence in the third book that literally made me cackle and was something along the lines of: Where was Kalle Fucking Blomkvist? Probably out fucking some whore with big boobs.
BIG BOOBS! Something got lost in translation, maybe?
@Scandyhoovian I love the Deptford Trilogy, and it's worth reading them all at once! Because it's kind of nice to be submerged in the story/place/characters. :)
@Scandyhoovian Oh, exciting! I have a copy of Fifth Business waiting for me on the hold shelf at the library. I'm about to go pick it up!
@cuminafterall http://gabedelahaye.com/2011/02/the-lost-steig-larsson-novel/ this parody is wonderful as well. i remember it better than any of the books.
@cuminafterall It's Saturday but THIS WAS THE BEST.
I was up in Ottawa for most of this week to get my braces done, and they might be coming off next month!! If I can find someone who can watch my dog for me in the middle of the week. I AM PRETTY STOKED GUYS BEING 26 WITH BRACES IS NOT GREAT.
I also got drunk with some old friends and we sort of played board games, so that was fun (people who follow me on twitter and saw weird things on there on Tuesday night, well, that's why). BUT my sister is being really annoying guys! She's been leading on multiple dudes (there are at least 3 that I know of) the past couple months, and actually got up and left for like two hours, while still pretty drunk, to meet one of them who was a total asshole to her! She is my baby sister and we don't have parents, so I totally worry about her because she is prone to such unsafe behaviour (like going out for walks alone in the middle of the night, and getting super plastered and letting these guys drive her home), and it's gotten worse since she broke up with her boyfriend a couple of months ago. Plus I know she isn't on any birth control. And it was so rude that she left in the middle of hangouts with the rest of us to see this jerk (we all definitely told her so). I just don't want to get the call that she's been murdered or sexually assaulted guys. Le sigh.
Also my job hunt is not going great (no one has even called me for an interview :(), BUT I am going to Pride on Sunday with someone from the 'Pin and that should be fun!
@Megano! My partner has braces right now, because of a bike accident (lost a tooth, and they closed the gap, plus had to realign the bite after a broken jaw.) So if you see a 38 year old man walking around Ottawa with braces, say hi, it's probably him!!
Do you have first day off plans? Like, eating so much corn on the cob and nuts and sticky taffy and such?
@swirrlygrrl Oh man, I eat most of those things anyway. Maybe eat a whole apple without cutting it up, because that is impossible? Corn on the cob also sounds great.
I don't live in Ottawa, so I probably won't see your partner around unless he goes to Dr. Greenacre (which would be crazy as hell).
@Megano! Getting braces off is the greatest. But for real, don't forget to wear your retainer. Because teeth are jerks and will go in whatever direction they want given half a chance.
Snaggletooth Forever: The Cat Jail Story.
@Megano!: You're not a corgi!?
@Too Much Internet D''''': THAT CORGI IS A BOY GUYS
@Megano! I am going to pride with a famous pin commenter? I don't think I can deal with the excitement. Seriously.
@robyn.andrews Well, a prolific one anyway.
@Cat Jail I'm way behind on this thread, but I just happened to see your comment* and thought I'd chime in and second your advice to wear your retainer. I'll spare you the story, but basically I did something stupid and then my orthodontist screwed up and then I did something stupid again because it seemed futile and a few years later my teeth are all the way back to the way they were. All that torture for nothing! WEAR YOUR RETAINER.
*I clicked on your username in the hopes that I could see a larger version of your profile pic, because I loved that comic and forget what exactly it is that she says in that panel. Alas, there is no larger version so I had to look it up.
@jen325 Oh don't worry, I am super religious about following the dentist's instructions...although I am just remembering I completely forgot to do something all week that they told me to do.
@Megano! Oh, good! My problem was that I accidentally threw away my retainer in the school cafeteria and refused to dig through it when I realized what happened. But my ortho was on vacation and a bunch of other bullshit, so it took about six weeks to get replacement retainer. In that time, my teeth had moved so much that the retainer was super tight, but after wearing it awhile the teeth would go back to normal (the new, straighter normal). So I would wear it until mealtime, and when I would put it back in after eating it would be really tight again. I remember being extremely frustrated and eventually gave up trying because it seemed pointless. In hindsight, I should probably have had the braces put back on.
@jen325 It probably helps that I paid for the ortho myself (I'm 26) and can't afford to do it again.
@Megano! Definitely. Plus, 26-year-olds are way smarter and more forward-thinking than 16-year-olds.
@jen325 Belligerent, chain-smoking Wonder Woman is my power animal.
I've been thinking about doing it again? You know, because I'm old enough to follow instructions now, and I even feel like I could own it as a look, but oh they hurt so much...
@Cat Jail YOU HAVE THE BEST POWER ANIMAL.
Have you looked into Invisalign? They're more expensive but they seem so much more comfortable. I've heard good things about it. My boyfriend's sister had it, and she was in her late forties/early fifties. I had the worst ortho and braces EVER. I think they were designed specifically for torture. Honestly, I've never seen anything like what I had.
@jen325 Ooh, I had heard about those before, but had forgotten about them! Here in the UK we're pretty spoilt when it comes to dental care costs, but if they could save me the kind of misery I went through in high school, it may be time for me to start saving my pennies. Thank you!
@Cat Jail You're welcome! I hope it works out for you!
It's so hot out! Going to a burlesque show tonight. I'm kinda at the saturation point with burlesque, honestly- I've been to probably 6-9 shows in the last year with a particular group of friends- but I decided to go to this one because there are male performers! Boylesque.
And my weekly dilemma- I'm kinda torn about Saturday. My bff's sister is having a graduation party (like a drinking-in-the-basement-at-night kind, not an open house), and I already RSVP-ed, and now I find out my boyfriend's band is performing in a town an hour away. He wants me to go. If it was in town I could do both. Ugh... not sure what to do here... the bff's sis and I like each other, but we're not close friends. I like seeing my bf's band, though I don't like driving down there and back all at once, nor do I like his friends' nasty house for an overnight stay.
Oh, and while we're on the topic of socializing and conflicts, I'm considering going to concert festival in another city in a few weeks with some of my college friends. I don't get to see them much, and we went to it five years ago and had fun. But one of the friends is my ex. I broke up with him in 2007, and we just stayed friends- no sexual tension or lingering feelings. But I'm not sure how my boyfriend would like the idea, and I can see why he'd be uncomfortable. I mean, I'll probably go. But still. And I'd invite the boyfriend, but we're staying at someone's house, and the boyfriend doesn't care about these bands or have any money to spare right now. So, kinda confused about how to handle this.
At least it's the weekend, woooo!
Maaan, (1) you guys broke up a million years ago, (2) you're a human with agency who will choose not to have sex with someone even if you have previously had sex with someone. If your boyfriend is gonna be weird about it, he can be weird about it all by hisself (like dump him because that's stupid).
ETA Vitriolic advice from internet strangers!
I am packing up my cubicle today because my last day in this office is Tuesday-- I'm transferring to a different division. I will miss my awesome coworkers but not the insane projects we've been working on. I look forward to finally being able to buy the crazy-patterned pencil skirts from J. Crew without worrying whether my boss already owns them.
Waiting for my Pin Pal's letter is the hardest thing I have ever done. :( Hurry Pin Pal!
@Ramona Quimby, PI I just got a card from my pinpal earlier this week and I was too excited. I sent out my reply immediately. She's going to think I'm cray.
@Ramona Quimby, PI
Pinpals! I still haven't heard from mine...I'm not sure if I should keep waiting/drop it or request a new one, because I'm honestly not the most reliable penpal on the planet either. (I'm getting cute bird-themed cards in the mail soon, though!)
@Ramona Quimby, PI - Haven't heard from mine, either. And I was really good and sent a letter off the week I got her name. Now I'm feeling paranoid, like, did I write her address correctly? But I checked it twice! Argh, mail.
@Ramona Quimby, PI Ah, I feel so guilty I haven't written to my pinpal yet--I woke up at 5:00 this morning thinking, "Augh, gotta write to my pinpal!" I swear I'll do it this weekend!
@Ramona Quimby, PI I wrote mine too. No reply yet, it's been ...three weeks? she is international though so...
Newest Pinpal, my letter for you moldered in the mailbox for like 5 days because my worthless mailperson never picks up mail unless he has some to drop off. I had to take it to another place to mail it. Sorry!
@frigwiggin I'm also looking forward to responses from pinpals. I've had a new pinpal for about a month who still hasn't written back and I'm considering sending another letter to remind her that I exist.
Also, I hate to threadjack, but I recently finished Children of the Company! As I was reading it, I remembered that you had said that Joseph was your favorite character, but I since I hadn't read any of the ones with him in a while, I forgot his name and when this guy named Victor who had some superficial similarities turned up, I got them mixed up. I'm sorry to say I don't think there were any genuine Joseph appearances. But on the plus side, we got to spend some quality time with Lewis. (Sorry for blathering so excitedly about this, but none of my friends have read the series yet, so I don't have anyone to talk to about it).
@Audley Ah, yay! Haha, I think it was actually someone else who said that Joseph was their favorite, though? I like him well enough, but my heart belongs to Lewis, so I'm terribly glad to know that he'll be there! (I got it recently through Link+, but I've been reading Robin McKinley's The Outlaws of Sherwood so I haven't gotten to it yet.)
@frigwiggin Oh, returning to that thread, it appears that Sharivan was the person who likes Joseph. Lewis is my favorite too. He's just so nice. He's not whiny or angsty or morally ambiguous like a lot of the other characters (not that those are bad things to be). It almost makes me want to reread The Graveyard Game, because I know he has a lot of screen time in that and I barely remember anything that happened in it.
I got to be a teen sexual health educator to a group of rowdy teens this week (my career goal!) and it was amazing. I fielded questions about period sex, how a lady can tell a man how to please her, and yeast infections. IROCKEDITandILOVEDIT.
Also, I am going to the Burlesque Showcase: Poles and Drag Edition tonight at Sisters in Philly - any 'pinners going???
@TheMongreloid That sounds awesome! Great job!
You should go to the Burlesque Festival this weekend--a friend of mine is performing and she'll be AMAZING.
@SarahP WHAT how did i miss this? I think I will go to the Burlesque Festival this weekend!
@TheMongreloid Bring friends! And cheer extra loud for Lily Bordeaux!
@TheMongreloid GIIIIIRL GOOD FOR YOU!!! Isn't fielding those questions great? (I'm not even being sarcastic, I would be very happy in your position)
Also, I'm listening to the new Fiona Apple on Spotify as I work and I love you Fiona, I love you, I love you, I love you.
I'm listening to the newest Nightwish and thinking about how awesome it'll be to see them in September. Music makes the world go 'round!
@Scandyhoovian It's so amazingly good though.
Y'all, my job hasn't been paying anyone for 4 weeks. Today we were supposed to get a paycheck make up for all that time, but I just found out we are not getting paid at all.
I am about to pop like an overinflated balloon. Hugz? Pro bono legal resources?
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas Is that even legal?
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas oh my god that can't be legal O_O
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas
Yeah, y'all are all going to need lawyers. Or at least a call to the Department of Labor.
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas OMG, that is bananas. And you shouldn't be working anymore?
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas If you are in the US, check out your state Department of Labor. They probably have a section on their website called "Worker Protection" or something similar. There may be a hotline for you to call, as well.
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas You could also look into local law schools that have employment clinics or general civil legal clinics. A number of them have intake hotlines as well where, if they can't help you themselves, they might be able to refer you to other community resources. I'm so sorry--I have empathy anxiety just thinking of missing pay for that long...
Y'all, my job hasn't been paying anyone for 4 weeks. Today we were supposed to get a paycheck to make up for all that time, but I just found out we are not getting paid at all.
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas I don't know what state you are in, but there are legal clinics (in a college town? Check a local law school's website to see if they have clinics). Also, try looking into Legal AId? They give advice and stuff: http://www.las-elc.org/clinics-faq.html
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas This is straight bullshit that violates many, many laws! Such as the 13th Amendment. Keep track of every day/hour that you work. You should contact your state department of labor, but many cities also have dedicated workers' rights organizations. Call legal aid, tell them what's going on, and see if they have employment lawyer or can refer you to a more specific org.
@Gone Away Lass <333 I'm at 39 days of no contact and I PROMISE you it gets easier and easier.
I'm going to a Poutine Party (with open bar!) put on by the former Eat Wonky people with my girlfriend and some friends of ours, and tomorrow I'm seeing Baron Vaughn do stand up with those same friends! We saw him in college, and he's hands-down the funniest comic I've seen live. I'm excited for the weekend! First, pretend to work a little longer and run at the gym. It's hot.
@Probs Poutine Party? HOLY CRAP THAT SOUNDS AMAZING. Open bar? MY MIND IS BLOWN
So, last week was a little awful (what with that stranger juicebox that called me fat and breaking off my LDR). This week was a little better. Yesterday I took myself on a shopping date and bought a cute dress and spent a shameful amount on lip color (YSL glossy staaaaiiinnn! It smells like wine!) and also got fitted for a bra since my boobs have been doing crazy things since I went off birth control a few months ago. Productive!
But noooww, ugh. There are other issues. How do you politely tell your (good, very close, well meaning probably) friends to butt the fuck out? I’m handling my breakup pretty well- I was very sad for a day or two and then stopped, because I just didn’t want to get stuck in that kind of slump (also, being a distance thing, I think it’s kind of easier, because it’s not like I got to see him that often anyway, so my routine hasn’t really changed that much). I don’t want to talk about the details of our breakup conversation, because I’m over that initial sadness, but my friends are so prodding and want all of the details. I tried saying “no, really, I’m fine, can we just go out for drinks and talk about work/school/that party your having/literally anything else” but they just want to pity party when we get together and it’s frustrating because guys, really, I’m doing okay, stop trying to make me feel bad. We all handle things differently, I don’t need to sit inside and cry for eternity. Also, they have a lot of Strong Feelings regarding some casual making out I’ve been doing, and I really want to tell them all to stfu, but that’s rude.
@contrary dude, get new friends. Tell them that you're really fine, that you don't want to talk about it anymore because you process your feelings by yourself, that it's easier since it's an LDR, and that casual makeouts are helping you get over it. And whoever doesn't listen, ditch them or at least let the relationship be more distant for a while, because they're obviously not being the people you need. Ugh, who judges people for casual makeouts anyway? I don't like these people.
@contrary I think saying almost what you said here ("I was very sad for a while but I've stopped and don't want to get back in that slump") is perfectly polite and a good idea. Your friends probably assume you're just putting up a stiff upper lip, but that you really need comforting. If you could say, nicely, that you're doing fine now, but it makes you feel worse to dwell on it, maybe they'll understand.
Also, if they're getting judgy, don't tell them about the casual making out. It's really only your business (and that of the other maker-out, I guess).
@realtalk your user name is very appropriate for this line of advice.
@contrary haha, I'm glad you think so! good luck. I recently was dumped by my LDR and I'm going through a lot of the same stuff - random makeouts, being DONE with talking about it, etc etc. keep us updated!!
@realtalk ugh, I'm sorry. That sucks. Hopefully no one is giving you any trouble about it, though.
@contrary one of my friends was like, "Are you sure seeing other people so soon is healthy?" And I was like, "Well, it's sure as hell distracting, and that's what I need right now." That's the extent of the shit I've gotten so far.
@contrary YSL glossy stain: miracle lip product that also cures breakup sadness?
@contrary I would probably just tell them to STFU in exactly those words! There's only so many times I can say "No, for real, I mean it, I'm fine" politely.
@Gone Away Lass BRAVA. Each day it will get a bit easier
I was too lazy to apply any eye makeup this morning, so I slapped on some bright-ass lipstick at work to compensate. 7 hours of face-grease-accumulation later, I absolutely look like Paz de la Huerta.
@reebs14 sounds kinda awesome, akshually
@charlesbois In conjunction with the crazy humidity and thunderstorms right now, I am at peace with my Huertaness. Now I just need to go smoke a cigarette and pose nude for a smarmy photographer.
@reebs14 I beg you, send your thunderstorms toward the middle of the state. We neeeeeeeeeeed rain.
I know weddings are super boring and lame and brides are crazy so-and-sos and no one cares about your wedding, but I have had four people cancel a month before the wedding, after we already had to give our final counts and pay for their meals. I don't think these people realize how much they are seriously putting us out financially and otherwise, and only one of them had a good excuse. The other said she decided she's rather go on vacation and another just gave no excuse or apology. I don't know what I'm supposed to do--just swallow the money or go ask people who we originally couldn't invite in a grovel-y second tier sort of way (who doesn't love that kind of invite?)? I'm just flabbergasted by the rudeness.
@parallel-lines Rude!! I don't know what you can really do about it (possibly grovel-y second-tier invites? I don't know) but that is seriously so rude. I don't know why people don't seem to understand what it means to people planning a wedding when they ask you to RSVP by a certain time and all that stuff. It's not just for a head count, people! (Also, I'm currently ordering invitations, so this is an issue I am Very Interested in.)
@parallel-lines IANAB (I am not a bride) but I've heard rumors of "second-tier guests" and no one being offended. Can you tell some other guest that they can now bring a +1? But that sucks. I'm sorry!!!
@parallel-lines Get replacement guests. People these days should understand the second-tier guest list because everyone knows weddings are freakin' expensive. I know I wouldn't be offended if I had a couple ask me to come after some other people bowed out. But I also love going to weddings and will take any excuse to go to one.
@parallel-lines Similar stuff happened to me, and it is really annoying, especially if you had to leave out others from the guest list. If you want to avoid second-tier, maybe ask people you invited if they would like to bring someone as an additional guest?
@terrific I managed to fill two spots with plus ones so we hit our catering minimum (I really did not think it would be a problem and we low balled it, then have had TEN cancellations since getting our inital count. TEN. Rude.). But it's kinda short notice since there's travel and time off work and we sent the save the dates back in February.
I could understand if there was some sort of huge something but people! Don't just cancel because you changed your mind or decided you wanted to take a vacation then. RUDE!
@Scandyhoovian I think the best way to avoid this is to do a buffet dinner vs. a plated one so there's a little more give food wise and having plus or minus a few people isn't going to mean much. Lessons learned the hard way!
@parallel-lines This is happening to my good friend. She invited people last-minute. I think if you phrase it right people won't be offended. So, good would be: "We had to really limit our guest list because of finances, so we couldn't initially invite everyone we would have liked. However, we've had a few people cancel on us, and we'd love if you could come." Bad would be to take the example of a former co-worker of mine who, as she was sending invitations, told me and another co-worker that we "were on the B list" but that she would invite us "if people on the A list can't come". Gee, thanks?
@parallel-lines I wouldn't be offended. I'm not invited to a wedding in a group of my friends, and I'm offended by that-- we're just not the closest people to them! If I got a 2nd-tier invite, I'd be excited that I now get to go, because I like them. Surely the people getting those invites now already realized you were having a were having a wedding, and that they hadn't been invited?
If you're worried about offending people, you could always hand out +1s to a couple of people who didn't already get them.
@EternalFootwoman This is good! We did this with our wedding; it was very small and low-budget AND we had a lot of relatives to invite, so when people started declining/dropping out, only then could we invite more of our friends. And no one had a problem with being invited later than others. People get that weddings cost money and we don't all have lots of money.
It's not groveling if you word it right, but it's also a good idea to do it over the phone or in person, so they know your tone is apologetic but hopeful that they can attend.
@parallel-lines Here's the real question: are you still going to be friends with them?
@miss buenos aires Honestly, probably not. I would totally get it if someone lost their job or broke up (that was one cancellation--I get it, but it still sucks) or had a death in the family but the rest of these excuses? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
@themmases Also, obviously I meant I am *not* offended by that. Not. :blush:
@parallel-lines Yeah, don't grovel! Be excited you can now invite Friends G and H who you cried over cutting from the initial invite list! (Or whatever you can make sound true.)
@parallel-lines It sounds like you already invited all of the potential plus ones, but maybe there are some young ones that would be happier inviting a friend? I only suggest this if you've already paid for those meals. We invited a cousin's girlfriend, friends of our siblings, things like that two days before our wedding with the bow outs. We also had people not show up that RSVP'd yes! And our location did not save those meals per their rules (even though it was a restaurant so I'm sure they had plenty of take out boxes).
I went to HR to talk about my sexist co-worker, with solid examples, and she basically shrugged her shoulder and said not much can be done. So much for equality.
@dtowngirl Ugh. :(
@dtowngirl What?? But that's what HR is supposed to be for! That's complete bullshit.
@dtowngirl WHAT! That's ridiculous :(
@dtowngirl Ahhhhh, that's the worst! I worked for a guy who creeped me out and the HR person was...his mom. DTMF JOB.
@dtowngirl I'm really disappointed; apparently talking about gender in an interview is somehow okay (as in, I'd like to hire a man/woman for this job)?!?
@dtowngirl Keep documenting! Then talk to employment law clinics and see what your options are: http://www.las-elc.org/clinics-faq.html Hostile work environments are so very terrible. :(
@dtowngirl Ugggh, nooo!! Here's another resource: http://www.eeoc.gov/employees/index.cfm Sorry that you have to deal with this kind of misbehavior. Also, what's with HR people who are totally unhelpful??
Two highlights this week! The boring/important one: bla bla transportation bill etc. etc. reauthorized metropolitan planing bore BUT I STILL HAVE A JOB YAY! That's been up in the air for a year, the whole maybe not having a job soon thing.
The totally unimportant/not remotely boring thing: I met a woman who knows Matt Smith. THE Matt Smith. Yes. I am officially two degrees from The Doctor.
@Girl Named Jack I don't watch it, but I used to know one of the people in it. Actually, I knew his mum more really. I think his character's name is Rory?
@pixieg Arthur Darvill? AIEEEEEE.
@anachronistique Yeah that's the one. Although he didn't used to be called that!
@pixieg REALLY now? I am intrigued!
I, uh. Last night I told my friend that I'd had romantic feelings for him for a while--over a year, actually, and by no means did I actually mean "had" in the past tense--and he said he felt the same way. And then we laughed and wondered together at how oblivious and in denial we both were, and then we talked about other things, and we went our separate ways as though nothing had happened. I'm seeing him again tonight to go to a party and I don't know what to do.
I've never attempted a friend-to-more transition before. But I've also never felt this way about anyone in my life. I'm fucking terrified, frankly, and a general pessimist as well as the least romantic person I know. Does anyone have advice and/or experience?
@wallsdonotfall hi5! Talk a lot about everything, and take it a little slower than you might with a newly-met guy, because the relationship's going to be changing gears, and you both might be running into some unspoken assumptions.
@wallsdonotfall put your face on his face.
I think you're really fun and smart, so be encouraged!
@wallsdonotfall get drunk and hold his hand, and then make out. And then the next day you can talk about it. This is what has always worked for me.
@realtalk The party IS absinthe-centric, so that may happen whether I mean it to or not. I just, man. I really, really do not want to fuck this up and regret jeopardizing our friendship, which is one of the best things I have going.
Actually that worked for me too. As did going from friends to lovahs. Good luck! You're both on the same page of liking, so that's already a big thing out of the way!
@realtalk Seconded. Especially helpful in overcoming the least romantic person issue. Which possibly we are tied in that respect.
If you don't wanna go the tipsy route, you can always do what I did and read a book about flirting and suddenly realize things like the touching of the arm and eye contact, and go unto your next encounter armed with this information, which is basically science, and use it to your advantage, because who can resist feelings + science-based research? NO ONE, THAT'S WHO.
@wallsdonotfall I have made this transition successfully. My suggestion is: go on dates. Dinner and a movie, a picnic in the park, getting handsy with one another at a concert-- all good ideas. Talk about your families and share stories about how you grew up (the ones you don't normally tell anyone). Kiss. Have sex. Know happiness.
@wallsdonotfall I like everyone else's suggestions, but also, at some point, be "brave" (it's doesn't really require courage because obviously he's going to say yes!) and actually make a date. Not to a party, not with other friends, but a real date. Dinner or drinks or coffee or a movie, whatever--but something that clearly states "we are doing something couples do."
@wallsdonotfall Just fuck and get it done with!
@SarahP Yeah, thanks everyone, this is helping me calm down a bit from having my heart in my throat. (And aww, Josiah!) Part of the reason I told him last night is because essentially, we've been going on dates forever--we had just gone out to the movies, and the week before that we drove out to the lake and spent all afternoon picnicking, talking, and napping. It was getting to the point where the time we spent together was so good that the relative dullness of my actual dates was depressing me.
So: maybe just keep doing what we're doing, with touching and honesty?
@Slutface: but I only sleep with people I don't like very much!!!
@wallsdonotfall Yes, touching and honesty! Godspeed!
@wallsdonotfall Yes, it sounds like you are doing good! At some point you will need to say "This is a date, not just two friends hanging out," because otherwise it can be pretty confusing for everyone involved. Good luck! But it kinda sounds like you're pretty much there anyway.
@wallsdonotfall Oh man, sending posi vibes your way. I wish I was in your sitch but as far as I know, I'm on a one-sided track here. Make that shit work so good!
@Girl Named Jack I never did that because IF all that flirty stuff were true then my relationship with my bestie would be totally wracked with sexual tension and... Well, if it is I might get it in my fool head to confess my love
my love to her, ruining everything forever.
@wallsdonotfall Oh, I would just say "I would love to take you out on a date. What are you doing Saturday?" and then do the whole dressup/romancing ritual with a nice restaurant. Might as well max the romance. Also, many men do not get romanced enough and seem to like it when it's done for them.
@wallsdonotfall "but I only sleep with people I don't like very much!!!"
I don't like the sound of that. How would sex not be the most awesome addition to a wonderful afternoon of nap and picnic and lake? SIT ON IT.
@all YOU GUYS. <3 Turns out the, "No, just kiss me" approach works pretty well.
@wallsdonotfall !!! I'm so happy for youuuuuuuu
@wallsdonotfall Efficient! Good deal.
@wallsdonotfall Squee! :D
San Francisco Bay Area people! Hairpin bookclub! Come, join, yay!
@thebestjasmine Whee, maybe I will since my last Bay-Area-located book club is currently stalling!
@thebestjasmine This is relevant to my interests.
Hi Hairpin kiddos! So I have a question about LIVING SPACES: I live with one other girl, who I didn't know before I moved in with (friend-of-a-friend). Our lease is up in October, and we've teeeentatively planned to renew. However: I am getting so annoyed with her! It's not even important what she's doing, it's just that her very presence annoys me, and I'm not sure that can be fixed.
Boy and I have talked about moving in together when my lease comes up, but (a) that would be super soon (we just started dating this year!) and (b) I don't want that decision to be based on just trying to escape my current apartment. So while that's maybe an option, it's perhaps not perfect, and at least I don't want to screw up anything.
Other problem, and part of the reason I don't want to renew my lease: current roommate has these vague plans to move to Europe/back home summer 2013, and just plans to find a random subletter to take her room when she's gone. I... don't want to live with a subletter. Does that make me a bitch? I am super unkeen on renewing a lease if she's gonna jet mid-year and leave me with some stranger. I've lived with too many strangers and I'm tired of it! What do I dooooooo?
@terrific Can you renew your lease for half a year and wait it out and then ditch the apartment when she goes? Is there any chance you can improve your relationship with her? Are there specific things that annoy you?
Don't move in with your boyfriend but DO find another living situation to start in October, is my advice.
@terrific Maybe option three? Find another roommate?
I totally understand the whole "her very presence annoys me." I kicked a roommate out a few months ago for just exactly that. Just knowing he was in my house made me stabby.
And no, not wanting to live with an unknown future, possible sketchy, sub-letter does not make you bitch. I think that's a good enough reason to not want to renew with current roommate and for you to find a better situation.
@realtalk I'm hoping we can renew on a month-to-month or half-year basis but I doubt it (NYC housing market). And I'm mostly just annoyed by... her. Her existence. Which sounds terrible, because she's really nice, just incredibly self-absorbed and not able to clean.
@terrific I agree with @realtalk in that you should move in with your boyfriend when you absolutely want to, not because of a crappy current situation. If I were in your situation, I would either:
a) sign the lease with the understanding that you, too, might find a subletter if she peaces out on you and then if things are going well with the boyf you can move in with him then
b) just peace out and do your own thing, girl. if you start shopping early you are much more likely to find a good living situation roommates-wise!
@terrific I would say no to moving in with an SO if it's mainly because another living situation isn't great.
What about her annoys you? Is it her specifically or is it more of a general "living with others" thing? I ask because I had a string of what I thought were crappy roommates, only to realize later that I'm kind of bad at living with people and need more personal space and alone time than average.
@everyone I'm not so good at living with others, I think, although I have had successful roommate relationships before. And as to moving in with the boy—I wouldn't do it if I didn't really want to (and I do!) but I just worry that my perceptions would be at least a little tinged by the need to flee. I wish I could wait until next year.
@EternalFootwoman I'm not a good roommate. I need lots of alone time and I like to walk around in my underwear.
Month to month can be very expensive. Try a different roommate for a year and if your still with your boyfriend when that lease is up, move in together? Or just throw caution to the wind and move in together. You only live once and all that...
@terrific get a new roommate. there's no way that situation is going to get better. find someone who travels a lot or hangs at her sig. other's place often.
please don't move in with your boyfriend over this. that'll only become 1,000 times more messy if things ever go sour. not only do you have to find a new place but do it dealing with the normal turmoils of breaking up.
I am planning my first solo overnight trip away from my toddler! Exhilarating, but also sad, but also, EXHILARATING! Yesss a vacation just for meeeeee.
Week of Midwest outdoorsyness scheduled to culminate with crashing in a hotel in Green Bay next Saturday. (There is only so much camping C. will agree to!) Does anyone know anything about Green Bay, in case we have the energy left to do anything?
My Canada Day long weekend plans:
Helping my boyfriend pack up his apartment, then say goodbye to him when he moves away forever.
And I'll probably watch some fireworks.
@gobblegirl Hope you too make some going away fireworks of your own. And I'm sorry, that sounds sad.
@swirrlygrrl Ha ha thanks. It is sad, but life is tough all over, etc.
Oh guys, terrible week around these parts. After three months of serious underemployment post burnout/taking a break from grad school, a rapidfire round of family visit prompted conversations about said burnout, and a serious emotional excavation with a visiting friend, I'm moving back across country in July to live with my parents for six months while I get my shit together. I love my hometown, and I really really need the emotional support, but it feels like such a failure and I feel like such a disaster. Plus now I need to figure out what to do about my apartment (lease just renewed, roommate moving out, roommate's replacement backed out, can't do simple lease transfer because other roommate is in PEI for the summer and her stuff is here and oh god I also have to find a subletter so she doesn't have to pay summer rent and murder me), and I'm so depressed, and I just want to spend day after day curled up on my bed. Also my former roommate is taking their cat, who I adore and have been fostering, back this weekend, and I have the period from hell, and there's no one around to help me with this stuff, or even just make me a drink and rub my back and tell me it'll be okay. I just want to lie on my bed and watch Gilmore Girls and drink chocolate milk/beer and sleep forever. I'm turning 25 in a week and a half and I feel like I'm never going to get my life back together.
I hope everyone is having better weeks.
@Cat named Virtute I went through something like that at 31, so you're ok. Even though it doesn't feel that way. It sounds like you've made some solid decisions, and if you plot out/schedule the seemingly overwhelming amount of stuff you have to do to get to your family it will reinforce the fact that it's just one day at a time, and you'll chip away at it until it's sorted. And then you'll feel more comfortable gorging on chocolate and red wine while you lay around and feel sad, which is completely ok and important to do sometimes.
and big hugs. BIG ones. Here's a virtual drink and back rub.
@Cat named Virtute I'm so sorry that you've had such a terrible week. it sounds like you've made some concrete decisions though (moving back home etc) that will put you in a positon to rejig your life and hopefully take it in a direction that is ultimately happier for you. you're definitely not a distaster though! sending you internet hugs and I hope the day begins to look up soon.
@Cat named Virtute One day at a time, one step at a time. You WILL get through this, it WILL be ok, and there is nothing wrong with watching some Gilmore Girls and drinking chocolate milk while you're in this rough patch. xx
@Cat named Virtute I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. It is absolutely not a failure to move home for a while and get your feet back on the ground. Good luck--we're pulling for you.
@Cat named Virtute Imma gonna tell you about the time I got divorced at a very young age (younger than you will be). There was so much laying on the couch and watching Gilmore Girls. Basically I got home from work and laid on the couch until it was time to go get some Wendy's and then I laid on the couch again until it was time to go to bed. I lost about half of my furniture in the situation and then slept on an air mattress for a few months before moving to a new place and then my parents had to buy me a new bed and also I had to shamefully beg them to spot me a few hundred bucks so I could feed myself in the weeks before moving. My shit. It was not together.
It took a few (well, several) months, but my shit got back together and the months climbing out of that hole are some of the happiest months of my 20's. (I can say this now because I just turned 30.) Because man, the shit was *shitty.* And when things stopped being so shit-tastic, it was like re-discovering every awesome thing in life all over again. This food tastes good! The air smells nice! Hey, sunshine! New friends! You will get there. And it will be awesome. One step at a time.
@Cat named Virtute I'm really sorry, that all sounds horrendous. I'm thinking of you.
@Cat named Virtute You're not a disaster! Things always go wrong at one point or another, and it seems like you're taking steps to make things better. Don't be so hard on yourself! You're doing all that you can do, and what you are doing is awesome.
Also: period from hell! That shit is not a joke. Eat some ice cream, take a nap, watch reruns in bed, maybe in a few days that horrible defeatist fog will clear a little.
@Cat named Virtute I know how you feel, i'm unemployed, didn't get into grad school (wasn't really expecting to...I applied to all the wrong places), I do NOTHING.
and yet, I'm slowly getting comfortable with being uncomfortable with where I am in life. I just have to occasionally remind myself that it's MY LIFE, and if I'm going to spend the next twenty years doing NOTHING, who cares? It's my life, we all die, there's no contest to get to milestones/achievements/whatever...
it's ok to be doing nothing. It's also OK if shit doesn't work out, what can you do? You'll try your damn best but at a certain point, you have to let go. I don't know if this helps but I have crap anxiety sometimes and it helps me to put everything in the perspective of my entire life.
@Cat named Virtute YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. I feel you - I started living with family while unemployed and am planning on living with them for the next 4 years now that I am starting PhD, and I feel shitty about it, but sometimes it's for the best. (I was unemployed for 6 months, now underemployed until August. I hate hate hate it, it's the worst. Bad because I'm broke, but even worse because I feel like a failure.) SO MANY people are age are in this position. You're not alone, or a failure.
(I am not super psyched about this PhD program, but it pays decent and has health insurance, so... I try not to have panic attacks about it even though I feel forced into it. I will never forgive myself for dropping out of med school because basically, this is all my fault now.)
@Cat named Virtute you are not a disaster or a failure! I went through something similar about a year ago. Shit will get better. If you're stressed about subletting - do you live in a city with a University? Because there will be a ton of students looking for Aug move-ins. Maybe while you're watching GG, rearrange all your furniture or go on a cleaning frenzy (cleaning makes me feel better when I'm super stressed) and take a bunch of pics and write up a funny ad to post online for renters? Like "Hi new student! You don't know your new city - so why don't you rent my place until you figure out where you want to live for your schooling?!"
Other than that, I found lots of walks helped (with lots of music) and writing when my head got too crowded with thoughts.
I had a second job interview today for a job that I really want and like! And I'm excited about it and feel like it went well and would reeeeeeeally like for my parents to not be paying my rent anymore.
Also, I'm moving to a new apartment in September and I'm currently shopping (theoretically, on Pinterest, without spending any money) for ALL THE THINGS. I found this quilt at Anthropologie which is way too expensive for me and which I LOVE LOVE LOVE.
DOES ANYBODY HAVE: suggestions for cheap home decor that's not boring AND/OR will you please share your favorite Etsy shops with me???
fiiiiiiinally: I leave for Peru on Monday! On a research trip! In the mountains! It's going to be SO COOL and I'm nervous.
@mangosara If you like Anthro's home decor, definitely check out Urban Outfitters. Basically the same idea, just skewing cheaper and slightly younger. They tend to have more duvet covers than quilts, I've found, but I prefer a duvet cover because they're so much easier to wash. Also yay new apartments! AND PERU! Have fun!
@mangosara I went to Cusco for two weeks last month and LOVED. IT. One of my favorite places, ever. Have fun!!!
@mangosara Congratulations and hooray! I have a Peru stamp in my passport from a couple of years ago, but it's actually only there because I walked the wrong way in the airport to get to my connecting flight to Buenos Aires. I am strangely happy about that stamp, even though all I saw of Peru was the inside of an airport bar, in which Depeche Mode was playing on the radio.
It might sound lame, but I have had some good luck with cheap home stuff from Target, mainly dishes and accessory things--especially in the weird aisle of marked-down stuff. And there's this place called Home Goods that is mostly full of standard suburban-lady stuff but often has crazy/cute/eclectic stuff mixed in. My friend bought me a set of stainless steel skull salt and pepper shakers with a matching sponge-holder thing and an old-school wind-up timer there (which I don't actually use, but goes well with the skull-motif plastic dinner-plate set I found in the above-mentioned weird Target aisle of leftover cool stuff). And, just recently on a weird "I don't need it but I want it" binge, I got a set of all different size/shape palm-tree dishes (they're plastic too, but so cute!) from the Walgreens seasonal items aisle, of all places. They are so '70s tiki that I had to have them.
Again I will recommend aliexpress. Wall stickers! Bead curtains! A CLOCK THAT IS DISSOLVING INTO BUTTERFLIES OKAY.
Buy a quilt in Peru!! Or dishes or towels or something. Things you use every day are the best souvenirs, plus you are automatically much cooler for having something foreign that none of your friends have.
Also (why I keep coming up with things to add just AFTER my comments are past editability is beyond me, but hey), I have my first dentist's appointment in literally six years on Monday, and I am convinced that they're going to look in there and tell me I need about three million things done... should I warn them in advance or just let them discover the tragedy that is my previously uninsured trainwreck mouth? Also, I have pretty severe dentophobia, so just going is an ordeal in itself. Adding this "my god, woman, what have you been doing the past six years!?" scenario possibility to it is stressing me out a lot.
(Er, ok, 3 million things = probably "you have a few cavities and need your wisdom teeth out", but still. Freaking out.)
@Scandyhoovian They've seen EVERYTHING, trust. I had some major dental issues after not seeing a dentist for even longer than six years. My dentists were very understanding and helpful, working out a care plan for me that took care of the problems over a period of time. If they give you any guff, tell them you are not comfortable with their treatment. And btw, if you need a root canal, they are NOT that bad. Good luck!
@Scandyhoovian Maybe it won't be so bad? I hadn't gone to the dentist in 8 (!!!) years- last time I had been was in high school when my parents paid for it. The result? No cavities. No problems. My teeth were crooked, but I knew that.
Now I'm a faithful six monther and I floss! I've got to keep my now straight smile purty! (But I also kinda like going to the dentist. I realize this makes me a freak).
@Scandyhoovian enter valium, stage left.
@Scandyhoovian Ahh, I feel you. It's been over a year since my last checkup and I'm already freaking out. I can't afford a cavity! Brush brush brush!
@Scandyhoovian this actually happened to me when I went to the dentist a few weeks ago. I hadn't had an x-ray since 2002 (although I had gotten cleanings) and the dentist basically just looked at me and said, you have a few cavities and need your wisdom teeth out.
moral of the story: meth mouth. aka, there will always be something worse. and if your dentist gives you a hard time, find a new one!
@Scandyhoovian I once didn't go for 5 years, and everything ended up being fine! I wasn't even a flosser at the time, which I now look back on with self-disgust.
@Scandyhoovian It's good you're going before you know there is a major problem and have to go (says the girl with dentophobia who went only when the horrible infection in her face from an impacted wisdom tooth forced it, after 7 years with not a check up).
Still with that dentist 6 years later, who is slowly getting me over my fears. Because he takes them seriously!! All the pain meds I need, lots of respect if I say slow down or stop or I need a break, and liberal use of laughing gas when I need it for nerves (seriously, it helps SO MUCH!) If this dentist doesn't work for you, don't force it. There are great dentists out there, and they will be happy to help you>
Oh, and they'll probably take a history at the start of the appointment, so it'll come out before you're in the chair I'm guessing.
Seconding the root-canals-aren't-so-bad. I had to get one two years ago (one of my fillings broke) and, well, nitrous oxide is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
I have lots of dentist fear too. But yeah, the dentists have seen it all. Bring your headphones to drown out the scrapey noises!
@maybe partying will help Am I the only one nitrous doesn't really do anything for? I mean, it's a little "relaxing" I guess, but I never get high from it like others seem to. Then again, I kind of feel the same way about pot, so maybe I'm just weird.
@maybe partying will help When I had a root canal I guess the nerve was so absolutely dead that they didn't even have to give me anything. I think they put a little Novocaine on the tooth after they'd already cut it open, just to be on the safe side.
I feel kind of cheated about the whole thing, honestly.
I dunno. I don't have much drug experience, but I thought nitrous was absolutely hilarious.
@all thanks so much for the comments. I've actually had a root canal before (which, actually, was the solution to the Thing That Gave Me Dentophobia -- my dentist didn't properly clean before sealing a cavity, so it continued to rot and then I was told repeatedly "it looks fine" when I came in complaining about a blinding toothache until I finally went to a new dentist who took one look and said "you need a root canal"), so I'm at least not completely blind to that.
I try to take good care of my teeth, so I might be worrying myself into thinking it's way worse than it is. But I know they're gonna say the wisdom teeth have to come out because that's what they told me last time, before I lost my insurance and couldn't afford it. :\
@WaityKatie I'm also not a fan of nitrous. It just makes me feel frozen and helpless.
@Scandyhoovian Yeah they will not even blink. I have teeth like marshmallows that get cavities alll the time, and once I went for a few years without going to the dentist and had a cavity so big you could actually feel that a part of the tooth was missing. Honestly, I think the dentist thought it was kind of a fun challenge.
@Scandyhoovian I FELT EXACTLY LIKE THIS A FEW WEEKS AGO. Mister thought I was nucking futs, but I have been having nightmares about all my teeth falling out, I almost fainted at work because I thought one of them was loose (alone on an overnight shift, that would have been bad), I am fairly sure I can SEE a giant cavity in one of my teeth, and I have only recently developed good flossing and mouthwash habits :( My teeth have suicide chips in them (like macbooks-- they just seek out damage) and I have not been to a dentist in at least two years. I know it's going to be bad, but I also know, from the people I see every day at my job, that they have seen so so so much worse. I fear no medical or dental situation, but I fear THE COST OF MY FORMERLY UNINSURED MOUTH. My exam and cleaning is on July 5th and I am fairly sure I am going to blow my yearly limit in the next month and a half (unless getting cavities filled and root canals done is way cheaper than I think. I assume getting a cavity filled is $400? LOOK HOW MUCH I ASSUME I NEED DONE ALREADY)
If you haven't already, definitely tell them that you have dentophobia. They don't care if you haven't been to a dentist in a long time, because seriously, look around you-- there is way worse out there. And if they give you shit, they are a horrible practice. Also, wisdom teeth- get them out as soon as you can stand to have it done and if you can, fuck it, go to an oral surgeon, get knocked out, stumble on home and sleep it off. BUT YAY FOR INSURANCE!!!
@all Monday morning update! I apparently, in my uninsured paranoia, maintained my teeth WONDERFULLY, for all I needed was a cleaning! I mean, he did say the wisdom teeth should come out sometime soon (which I sort of figured he'd say) but he said that as long as they don't get infected I can even put that off until after my wedding, no worries.
SUCH A WEIGHT has lifted from my shoulders, I can't even tell you.
@Scandyhoovian So glad! I had a really similar experience recently - hadn't been to the dentist for six years (and I was insured for some of it, I just kept forgetting and then started avoiding), was terrified about going, and it ended up not being bad at all. And now that you've gone and it wasn't so bad, it'll be so much easier to get back into a steady maintenance schedule!
GOOD LORD! Friday afternoon, open thread. For real though!!!
ok - I'm sending up the Hairpinnery flare for this one for all y'all's opinions...
I'm taking developmental psychology online as one of my last nursing prerequisites. The teacher is... disorganized (4 weeks into an 8 week course and I've honestly hardly done anything). Then, last week, our first real "discussion board" consists of watching this video on a fetus' response to alcohol, in utero, and then commenting on how it made us feel.
So... I think I'm pretty intelligent but open minded and try to see all sides of the picture. But this video seemed AWFUL to me. Like, really bummed me out/put me in a bad mood. Because it seems like it's the same ol' "women can't be trusted to make logical or sound decisions, so use scare tactics to make sure they do what we want them to do" - like, the scary music? the creepy computer voice? the lack of comprehensive studies being cited?
Everyone else in my class was horrified at what they called "clear evidence that this woman was giving her child fetal alcohol syndrome, women who do this should be ashamed of themselves, etc"
I tried to put a balanced opinion out there, like "well, there are a lot of studies out there that show conflicting evidence on this subject, but we have to be safe, but women should be given all the data so they can make a decision based on facts, blah blah blah" and I felt scared that my teacher is going to fail me for not toeing the "party line" at this catholic university?
So I guess my questions are:
1.) is this video as horrible as I think it is? or am I being super sensitive?
2.) can teachers penalize me for taking an educated and well researched stand against what they are saying in class?
@teenie What was your prof's actual opinion though?
Like, could this be a trick?
And how it makes you 'feel' is totally different from 'clear evidence of fetal alcohol syndrome'. Maybe that's what the prof is getting at?
ugh, I'm sorry. My brain is not functioning as well as I wish it were.
From what she replied to other's opinions it seemed that the prof's opinion was that even a half glass can cause permanent damage and it's a horrific thing to subject a fetus to, there is no safe level, etc.
Yeah, the "how does it make you feel" thing threw me off too, because if I were to be honest I would say "I feel like it's a loaded horseshit video made to shame women into being controlled, when they are perfectly capable of making their own decisions when provided with medical research and evidence." I also feel that it's a risk that I couldn't take, but I feel that using this sort of technique to educate people makes those women with addiction problems just lie about it to their practitioner instead of being able to open up about it to get help they may need.
I mean, it's a complex issue, but one that needs to be discussed thoroughly, and that video just put my teeth on edge. ugh.
@teenie I took an econometrics class one semester and the dataset that we used for example problems FOR THE ENTIRE SEMESTER was one examining the correlation between smoking during pregnancy and birthweight. I was one of four women in a sixty person class taught by a cocky Australian guy, and there was SO MANY comments about how irresponsible, selfish, and dumb it is for pregnant women to smoke, even though that is entirely irrelevant to the econometric strategies (which is basically just statistics). My coping mechanisms were to occasionally rant about it in my livejournal and to do really well in the class out of spite. So...harness your rage? I feel ya.
@teenie ah. then no, you can't have an educated opinion. It's also not a 'discussion' since there's a right answer. (I'm not saying it's the right answer)
Sometimes classes are about learning to fake it? Crap. I'm sorry.
The only thing you could start with is "While alcohol is obviously not good for the fetus this video seeks to terrify rather than educate. The means to the message are brutally ineffective" and then maybe find a video that does it better.
@Jade I was hoping, too, that the prof's "how does this make you feel" question would provoke a larger question about "fark what I feel; show me the science..." National Advocates for Pregnant Women in NY has a great clearinghouse of longitudinal studies demonstrating how different substances impact developing fetuses. But even more than just the science, perhaps this classroom experience could spark a "how do you know what you know?" conversation? As in, is it the crying child/violin music that you're citing, or the evidence-based, peer-reviewed study?
@MailerMattDaemon @Jade @elissa_what?
Thanks for your input, y'all. I'm pretty sure it's just a mediocre prof who goes for feelings more than science, so it's time for Teenie to put on her big girl panties, suck up my opinions, and spout it on here if need be. Ah, the things I do for an A, I'm so cheap.
@teenie secret to teenie: get @ me on the nyc fb pinners group. i wanna help you with nursing prereq stuff!
@Lola Mc. Hey hey Lola - I'm now in the NYC fb pinners group, and sent you a fb message.
So I've finally decided to join up, and I wanted to do a "hi, I'm the person who's been sadly digitally stalking you for a few months, I hope it doesn't get weird when I start talking to you now" post.
So uh... I'm Canadian, like to make ice cream, and am mildly obsessed with journal comics. Also lots of other stuff. Also I joined 'cause I like the cut of your jibs.
@LibrarySwampThing Helloooooo and welcome! On the subject of ice cream recipes: any suggestions for this mountain of peaches and pluots from the CSA? My apartment is super humid and things mold really quickly, so we have to use them soon.
@LibrarySwampThing I like to make ice cream too! Except I don't make it very often because the only ice-cream maker we have is one of those novelty ball things and it's a pain in the ass. I should just plunk the money down to get a real one. What was the last kind of ice cream you made?
@LibrarySwampThing I have been all about this Guiness Ice Cream lately. Since so many of my male friends like it, I call it Guy Scream.
@whereismyrobot That's amazing.
@Vicky Johnson I haven't made it, but Hope Larson recommends this: http://hopelarson.tumblr.com/post/21605873973/wild-turkey-peach-ice-cream . It sounds delicious, and I want someone to make it so that I can then more confidently make it.
@frigwiggin Dooo iiit, ice cream is amazing! The last kind I made was cereal milk and it turned out wonky because I was impatient and only froze the bowl for twenty hours. But it's on again this weekend, and this time, Peanut Butter Puff milky goodness is happening, or I will... eat the gross ice soup like last time.
@LibrarySwampThing I'm sold based on the URL alone.
@Vicky Johnson OH YEAH a peach jam with whiskey is basically amazing. Or you could make peach syrup and just serve it WITH whiskey. Oh man. Peach jam, I loves it. (I am partial to Maker's Mark mahself)
@LibrarySwampThing I may just hint that I want one for my birthday...although by then it will be September and I want to make more ice cream NOW. I made basic strawberry last weekend, but that shit was SO DELICIOUS. I want to slowly work my way through David Lebovitz' Perfect Scoop because they all sound so good. Even the Roquefort and honey.
Cereal milk??? What a concept!
@frigwiggin It's easier than it sounds! Recipe.
@Vicky Johnson I shoulda known it would be Momofuku.
@Vicky Johnson Alternative to ice cream: peaches, a little sugar, maybe a squirt of lime or a bit of cinnamon for flavor, and a small bit of water in a blender. Then make popsicles?
Who has had terrible dreams recently? Last night I dreamt that there was an electrical fire and our house burned down. I saved our friend's cats who were mysteriously in our house (?) but lost everything else.
I SLEPT GREAT
@frigwiggin I dreamed that I had to euthanize my kitten by wrapping her in newspapers and dropping her off a cliff.
@frigwiggin I have had ALL the bad dreams for going on 2 months now. They don't even go away when I drink heavily or take benadryl. (but maybe if I drink heavily AND take benadryl? hmm)
The other day I dreamt that there was an alien ship in the sky. I'm historically very scared of aliens, but I wanted/needed to check this out. So I got on this funny chair that I could make fly by squeezing these handles on the side, and flew up to see it as it hovered - whispering hello to it, it finally opened up on one side, and Hugo Chavez was in the ship, being attended to by a bevy of old-school nurses.
@frigwiggin I dreamt that when I flossed my teeth they began falling out, and they were translucent and fragile and kind of friable in a weird abnormal way, and it was HORRRRIFYING. First thing I did upon waking was run my tongue over them to check that they were still there (they were).
Last night I dreamed I entered a writing contest that was judged by Neil Gaiman and Clive Barker. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, DREAMSELF. I woke up terrified and ashamed of my horrible writing.
@Kate Croy Oh god, tooth dreams. I've had a recurring nightmare for years in which molars sprout through my palms.
@Kate Croy My first tooth dream was when I had all my teeth knocked out by a baseball bat!
I had a sad dream last night about the guy I last dated, but fortunately a thunderstorm woke me up.
@wallsdonotfall Mother of god, something about just the thought of that is making me sweat.
@Kate Croy Tooth dreams are the worst. I have a phobia about teeth, probably based on my incredibly detailed recurring nightmares about all of my teeth falling out. Like, I can feel the hole left in my gums and sharpness of the tooth rolling around my mouth ... *shudder*
@frigwiggin I dreamed that my boyfriend was playing cards WITH HIS EX WHO WAS NAKED on a circular couch in a hotel by a river? And I was also there, but I kept going up and down the stairs by a huge window, complaining that he couldn't hang out with her if he was dating me!! And he was all, RELAX IT IS ALL FINE. And his ex was all, "Let's stop playing poker and play a board game together!"
He doesn't speak to his ex, and I am not jealous of her, and we don't really play board games, and what does it meaaaaaannnn?!
@meetapossum Ugh, relived my most recent breakup in a dream last night, which happened six months ago, and then did that thing where you wake up and think your SO is next to you but he's not and then you get sad. I wish I had a thunderstorm!
Is it the heat that's causing these terrible dreams?
@cmonster Ugh, those suck.
I usually get the most vivid dreams on or around the full moon. Lunar eclipses make them worse (they get really, REALLY WEIRD).
@frigwiggin: Bad dreams for weeks! Last night, I came across neighbors (fictional ones, not my real ones because I don't actually know my real ones) and one of them had CHEWED OFF HER ARM. I dunno. I woke up in a cold sweat.
@frigwiggin I dreamt that I got fired from BOTH my jobs. I woke up stressed as hell.
Btw been looking at Pin Pets and Flat Tire is so cute my heart hurts a little bit.
Well, not to freak out the people who run this site or anything but the other day I had a dream with Jane Marie in it. She was married to a blind black dude and he was super cool with us being best opposite-gender-hetero friends.
This is made more important because I am not someone that ever remembers my dreams.
@frigwiggin I recently had a dream where I was out with my mother and something I'm not clear on happened and she was dead/dying and I was trying to give her CPR, the mechanics of which I couldn't remember during the dream. SO GLAD TO WAKE UP.
@Reginal T. Squirge I am liking this way too late!
-Working out during the beginning of a heat wave in a large warehouse-like room with minimal a/c. It's not the first time, but my training cycle is focused on working on my front squats and tomorrow morning I'll be doing 6 sets of 6 front squats at 80%of my one rep max (93lbs, arbitrarily determined). I was going to do this tonight but I am thinking I can minimize melting on the lifting platform by doing it tomorrow morning.
-Going away party a friend of mine, who is returning home to Jersey. (booo-urns)
-Brunch at a friends place
-Putting out lots of bowls of water for my kitties
-Watching the Os
-Watching the Euro Cup Final
-Splaying myself out in front of three fans because my apartment has no a/c
P.S. - Pinners, thanks for answering my NZ/BUNAC questions last week! I owe some follow up emails but right now the exploratory research is going strong. My husband needs to find out about whether or not he can get his prescription in NZ and more importantly, how much it might cost.
Yaaaaay, I'm going to be in Washington state next week to visit my mom! And we're going to maybe go see the King Tut Exhibit because she only lives an hour north of Seattle! Washington pinners, what what?!
@frigwiggin Oh yeah, pluuuuus said mom is almost done with the radiation treatments for her breast cancer! She keeps talking like it's NBD but I'm still glad that it'll be over soon.
Oh, have fun! My mom lives far away and I had great time seeing her last month. May your mom's recovery be quick and complete!
@frigwiggin Weeeelll, the Seattle 'Pinners are getting together to get drunkish and then go see Magic Mike on Friday, if that's something that might float your boat. Just do an FB search the The Hairpin Seattle and you'll find us! In any case, DEFINITELY go see King Tut! He'll never, ever be back!
I got tickets to see Louis C.K. this October! I was just sitting around, when I got an email saying hey, tickets are on sale now -- so I clicked through and, behold! Sixth row center.
I think I have kind of a celebricrush on the dude.
@Lemonnier I saw him 2 Octobers ago (jesus time flies), and he was hilarious (per usual)! But, I was in the very last row of the balcony of the Chicago Theater (aka he was the size of a pinhead to my eyes) and I had a nasty cold. So I hope your experience is infinitely more enjoyable than mine was.
@Lemonnier Major celebricrush. The BF are contemplating getting tickets for November in San Fran, and just flying down.
It would be totally worth it.
@Lemonnier: I am jealous but also HOW AWESOME!
@Lemonnier YAY! We're thinking of getting tickets too; I got the LCK e-mail this week about the tour. And right there with you on the crush. My BF is still baffled at this. What can I say, Louis CK is cute!
@Lemonnier I also got tickets! But for Chicago. I am sort of bummed because I initially had orchestra seats on reserve but something went glitchy with the web site and it wouldn't accept my credit card. Fast forward to the next morning, card works fine, but I am now up in the balcony. Rat farts! It will still be AWESOME, no matter where I sit.
Hey, anyone who might be interested - we're trying to get a book club off the ground over on the Hairpin Goodreads group. This way!
@Lucienne So there.
@Lucienne How do you join on goodreads?! I'm looking for some kind of like, "join" button, but my brain is fried.
@nervousrobot I just reread that and thought it said "fired." Which, it didn't, but might be a better way to put it at this point.
@nervousrobot There should be a button that says "join group" under the image placeholder.
You're the best.
Ghaaaaaaa why is it not 5 yet. Also, why do I not have burly friends who can help me put my A/C unit in my window this weekend.
On the plus side I put new handlebars on my bike last night and they look soooo good. I went from Nitto Bullhorns to a vintage Nitto Riser bar with cork grips.
@dauphine i have confidence in you that you can put your A/C in yourself. i did it two weeks ago by my lonesome. i suggest a lot of flailing of limbs, swearing, give your quads a good stretch, and drink a hearty glass of wine before. also, don't accidentally throw it out the window.
Drinking beer on a boat: T-3 HOURS.
Meat and Meat Night with mah girlfriends!
We're going to eat a metric ton of Argentine steak, and then catch a 21+ showing of "Magic Mike"!
THE ABS, 'Pinners.
@OxfordComma THIS IS THE BEST
@OxfordComma This is my plan for tomorrow night! We're sneaking in mini-bottles of booze to pour into our sodas, because we fancy. And there are no 21+ theatres showing Magic Mike.
@OxfordComma SHUT UP that's the best idea I've ever heard.
@cmonster @The Everpresent Wordsnatcher @betterfate:
@OxfordComma I really, really want to go see Magic Mike tonight -- opening night -- in Chelsea. I think it would be the best crowd! But I have to go to a friend's birthday dinner, and my friend > butts. (Even Alcide's butt.)
@Lemonnier : Take your friends after you get plastered from birthday dinner!
@OxfordComma I am going with the ladies from the lab I work at and will have to suggest this. (If I could sneak in a sonic cherry limeade for my vodka, life would be perfect.)
ZOMG I'M GOING TO SEE ROBYN IN MILWAUKEE ON SUNDAYYYYYY!
Last week he-man was dancing at a Greek festival and I got sunburned and drank MUCH ouzo and metaxa and finally got out there and danced and now I am OBSESSED. Like, on Sunday I danced and drank for seven hours. And now I am going to weekly Greek dancing lessons at he-man's Greek restaurant with his coworkers and maybe I will DANCE WITH THEM WHEN THEY PERFORM ON WEEKENDS!?!?!?
As someone who was raised by a very competitive/athletic dad, I have only ever known how to exercise if I'm up against an opponent. BUT THERE ARE NO OPPONENTS IN GREEK DANCING!!! It is the happiest workout ever and boy is it a workout. You guys!! GREEK DANCING!!!
Also, day-drinking ouzo on the rocks when it's 90 degrees is heaven.
This is awesome! Not least because whenever I see the word metaxa I am reminded of A House Like A Lotus. But also because hooray for dancing and drinking!
@okaycrochet ahh Greek Dancing. One of my favorite memories of being in Athens was that at about 4 AM the gay bars would switch tom playing trasitional music and men would dance the zeibekiko. It was so much fun. Also Ouzo, oh how I love you.
@boysplz Jealous!! When we were in Greece we saw NO ONE DANCE EVER. But now we're Hasapiko/Hasoposerviko/Tsamiko/wine dance/table dance -ing our faces off on the regular. ARG. LOVE.
I'm really excited that I get to do something for 4th of July this year, since I took the 5th off. So I'm driving up to visit my boyfriend a couple hours away. This means that I get to, very ironically, celebrate the birth of our nation on a pretty gnarly Indian Reservation.
Let the drinking and explosions begin!
Anyone have advice on how to—ugh, how to put this without sounding like an Elizabeth Gilbert novel—date yourself in a brand new city? I just moved to the Bay Area, along with my boyfriend of a year and some change, who is building a tech startup with two college friends. We are currently living in the ‘burbs (“fewer distractions” but JESUS, boring as fuck. Also, I live with him AND THE REST OF THE STARTUP) during the startup crunch time, which has a definite end-date of August 23rd. I realize that I will probably not live a chilled-out, super-happy-fun-times kind of life for a while because I chose to date a guy who runs a startup. Whatever, it’s what I love about him but it’s complicated. I’ve ranted about this to just about everyone close to me, and the general consensus (and I hear this loud and clear) is that I should focus on myself as much as possible while this is happening and try to stop freaking out about how our 2 designated date nights per week frequently end with a chilly “good night” and him hacking until 2 a.m.
Last night, I got extraordinarily pissed off and looked at 1 BRs in the Bay Area out of spite. It was not my finest moment. I don’t really want to move, but living with 5 dudes who spend 23 hours a day behind their computers in the living room, one of whom is your formerly-attentive-and-affectionate-boyfriend, can really push a girl to the brink.
Anyway, I guess my question to the Hairpintariat is: anyone else dealt with something similar? Any law school/med school/startup/Starcraft widows out there? How did you get through the crunch time? How did you forgive your S.O. for being absent most of the time? More importantly, does anyone know of fun activities in the Bay Area where one could conceivably bring a puppy (oh yeah, I have a 3 month old puppy who comes to work with me every day. Kinda makes meeting for drinks afterward a little complicated.)
@The Judging Coyote can you bring the puppy with you into the city? Because we're having a pinup on Tuesday night at a dog-friendly bar!!
@The Judging Coyote Which 'burbs? I'm out in the East Bay. I can't go to the pinup on Tuesday but I will totally hang out with you!
@The Judging Coyote @lizzle I'm also living in the East Bay, so we can and should organize stuff over here as well! are either of you on FB? or do you check the google pinup group?
@realtalk I'm in the FB group, but I haven't managed to make it to any of the pinups since the first one, where I barely talked to anyone.
@lizzle Well, definitely comment in the FB group if you have an idea of when is a good time for you and where you'd like to go! I'm a moderator there (ULTIMATE POWER!!!!) and I love having pinups, so.
@The Judging Coyote You could take your puppy to a puppy class. You'll meet people and training is a fun project (at least for me). You're so lucky you get to take your pup to work!
@Clarisse McClellan con: it can be really hard to actually meet the people and not just their dogs. but if you put your mind to it!
@The Judging Coyote Oh, darling, I want to give you a hug. Those damn nerdy programmer types are so alluring and then the lifestyle turns out to be absolutely ridiculous. I have a whole programmer-culture-from-a-spouse's-perspective profanity-laced rant inside me somewhere, but I just want to say you have all my sympathy.
It sounds so unromantic, but making dates that explicitly include the "no post-date coding" proviso have helped me out some. I try to have stretches of time when gadgets must be off, especially when I notice that "urge to kill rising...rising...RISING!" feeling if the laptop makes an appearance.
It's "supposed to be getting less crazy soon" for, oh, 7 years and 4 or 5 jobs now. I don't know if this is a normal coder thing or a Mister Kat-specific thing (ADHD & assorted weirdness is a factor). I hope things are well-organized and on track!
@KatPruska Oh wow, we should DEFINITELY talk. I am taking the whole "things will be less crazy soon" thing with a massive boulder-sized grain of salt, but the guys are doing a startup incubator with a pitch to VCs set for 8/23, so a part of me is holding out hope, but UGH.
@Clarise McClellan Way ahead of you there! We've been going to socials and class and it's GREAT--at least for her, haha. I'm slowly trying to break the ice with some of the other owners in the class. But it is hard because everyone is so focused on what their dog is doing :P
@everyone else: Thanks for all the Bay Area love! I did join the 'Pinners group on FB and actually triggered Tuesday's Pinup with a similar cry for help, haha. So glad to hear that the bar we're going to is dog-friendly--the pup will definitely be making an appearance in that case!
@The Judging Coyote Let us totally hang. You, the pup, and all of us living in the East Bay. Having oodles of new and fun friends will make the next two months fly by and will help you "date yourself" while "dating new friends."
@ginalouise Okay! I live on the peninsula and work in SoMa but let's all hang out in the city and it will all be fiiiiine.
What's up, 'Pin! I need your advice. I need to stop eating junk food (at least most of the time). Lately I'm like HOORAY DONUTS in the morning and it has got.to.stop.
I used to be SO GOOD with breakfast, but now even if I don't eat a donut for breakfast I'm craving some sort of snack machine carb by 10 a.m. Blergh. I do ok with lunch/dinner - dinners are usually homemade and pretty healthy, and lunch is either leftover healthy dinner or an occasional slice of pizza and a side salad.
Your satisfying yet non-donut breakfast suggestions are appreciated! I do like a smoothie, but I'm in a bit of a rut otherwise.
@phipsi I, too, love donuts. Like, a lot. But you must break the cycle! Being addicted to sugar is no bueno. I'm no nutritionist, but my advice would be get more protein in your breakfast to curb the hunger by mid-morning - or, hell, bring a piece of fruit as a snack for when you're hungry. Maybe that will satisfy your sweet tooth a little? Also, I like to eat Greek yogurt (sometimes mixed with protein powder) with granola, strawberries, and a drizzle of honey in the morning. Try it! It's quite delish and just sweet enough.
@BeebsLaRue Greek yogurt mixed with Kashi Go-Lean Crunch is crack to me.
@phipsi Whole wheat toast with a little bit of veggie/olive oil "butter" and a slice of swiss cheese (or any cheese you like). It has whole grains, protein, and enough fat (but not the horrible kind) to keep you full-ish. OR a fruit and greek yogurt smoothie. Banana-berry is my go-to flavor. Or combine the smoothie and the toast to make yourself even fuller.
@phipsi I am a big fan of the toasted English muffin with peanut butter and possibly also with honey! It is kind of like a pastry but with protein!
@phipsi Oatmeal, pancake bars (bake a large batch of pancake batter, cut into bars, store in fridge and whenever you want like granola bars--you can make it with whole wheat flour to be extra healthy), toast with lots of peanut butter and fruit, cereal.
Honestly, no matter what I eat for breakfast at 7, I'm hungry around 10am, so I always make sure I have a healthy morning snack with me--yogurt, more fruit, some nuts, whatever.
@phipsi : I bring bread and peanut butter to my office, along with oatmeal (sometimes instant, sometimes not). Seriously, whole grains + good fat = happy tummy.
@phipsi When I'm in the mood for a sweet, carb-y breakfast, I usually eat a whole grain waffle (less gross than they sound! especially the trader joe's kind!) with jam or nutella or apple butter on top. I feel like the whole grainness makes it healthy? But still carby and sweet and enough to usually stop me from also eating a doughnut.
@phipsi Ooh, my fave is oat bran. I keep it everywhere: home, work, the car! add some water in a bowl, 2 mins in the microwave, plop of pb on top with whatever fruit you've got lying around, and voila! Full for hours!
Also good: that "overnight oatmeal" stuff if you have time the night before. 1 part regular oats with 1 part yogurt and 1 part milk, overnight and then delicious! This will last a few days, not just overnight.
Strawberries and cottage cheese! Homemade egg muffin things with a microwave poacher and a piece of cheese! I love cheese!
Has anyone else been to the Prada/Schiaparelli exhibit at the Met? I went this morning and... it was a little disappointing. I adored the McQueen show last year and thought this would be more of that "welcome to this magical, disturbing world" freakishness. But I found Prada very uninspiring and the Schiaparelli designs were much less Surrealist than I thought they would be.
Also, I'm not sure if I am pronouncing "Schiaparelli" correctly and it is making me self-conscious.
@miss buenos aires Sha-par-elli. But purr it like you're Italian.
Cedric says is in the BBC adaptation of Love in a Cold Climate, if you need to hear it/an excuse to watch that.
@miss buenos aires It's actually Ski-ah-puh-relly. The "h" after the "c" makes it into a hard "sk" and not a soft "sh" sound. (I don't mean to be bitchy -- just want to make sure she knows the actual pronunciation)
@ormaisonogrande Thanks guys! I feel weird about pronouncing the hard "c." Whenever I say "broos-KETT-ah" I feel people giving me the side-eye.
Nothing thrilling for me this weekend (IT IS HOT) but @The Lady Of Shalott is finally getting to see her boyfriend this weekend, and will not be online (bow chicka wow wow, etc). But I know y'all are excited for her anyway. :)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Oh my god I'm dying! But it was a lovely weekend, even though it was incredibly hot and humid in Halifax, but my boyfriend is doing well and it was amazing to see each other and we had significant talks and lots of fun.
I am so glad that it is Friday! Not for any normal reasons but because of this open thread here. You see, I need the most awesome women I know to weigh in on this grating scratch in my head (actually woke up thinking to myself- you need to just ask the pinners). Here goes:
BF is making a board game- production & everything- and I'm helping him with the commercial shoot. In meetings with the director & production guys, I have been the voice of "hey, you need a woman," "hey, everyone casted is white, let's not do that." Anyway, that developed into a very self aware conversation of writing the lines & treading this line of stereotypes vs. representation. Does that make sense? The woman's lines in particular are not feeling right to me. They are going with either a dick joke or a (singsongly) "let me think that little ole doesn't know what I am doing (serious) because I am going to kick their ass." As a woman gamer- that's bullshit. I win a game, by playing it well, not playing up my gender to surprise the table with good moves. I think that most would take that as a shallow victory. Anyway, am I being just too sensitive here? Maybe I just don't understand comedy. Can ya'll reality check me?
@AJ Sparkles I don't think sexism is funny and I think so many people just so goddamned used to it they don't even NOTICE it.
So, well done. They should just show the woman dominating from the get-go and being upfront about it. Then she eats them.
@AJ Sparkles Oh my god, fellow woman gamer here (haha, fellow...) and that would make me so angry. Ugh. I will throw a lot of money into kickstarter for games and developers who treat me with respect, mostly because it's so frustratingly rare.
I'd say put your foot down (or kick someone) and refuse to participate in perpetuating sexist memes in the gaming community.
@AJ Sparkles Challenge them to write the lines without knowing who will say them. "Character A," "Character B," etc.
Ask them: "Would this like sound dumb-as-fuck if you swapped it and the man said it?"
@ginalouise Now THAT's COMEDY!
@gobblegirl: That is a fantastic exercise.
@gobblegirl That is a good exercise. I will try that- thank you.
@adorable-eggplant Hello, fellow. :) I think that is why I am so sensitive towards it- the general lack of realizing there is a woman market outside of euro/casual games. I'll let you guys know how it goes, script is due on Sunday. Also, BF has been open to the criticism, so it should go well. Also, what do you play?
@AJ Sparkles Oops, I responded elsewhere!? So...
I play tons of different games!! I grew up playing chess, and I'm still pretty sharp. I've been thinking about dusting off my rating and going back to playing tournaments, if only to see how rusty I've become.
Also, I play RPGs: previously Changeling and Mouse Guard (which I GM'd) and currently Call of Cthulhu.
As far as board games: my favorite is A Few Acres of Snow (despite the fact that it may definitely be broken! House rules, ftw); other standbys include, Agricola, Dominant Species, Sekigahara, and Tigris & Euphrates. I just borrowed Richard III from a friend, so that's very high on my to-play list.
And then I play Bridge with my folks and boyfriend about once a month.
What's your cup of tea? I'm always on the look out for something to try. :)
@adorable-eggplant Oh wow- there are a ton there that I don't know- like all the board games- tell me more about Tigris & Euphrates. I do a board game meetup & they have been trying to get Agricola going, I'll try it next week :)
My current favorite right now is prob Successor Wars or 1989- both are historical wargames. Successor is based on the aftermath of the death of Alexander & 1989 is the sequel to Twilight Struggle- based off the cold war. Twilight Struggle was in HEAVY rotation in the house for quiet a while- oh, I loved that game. Definitely check that one out.:)
As far as lighter games, I love Dominion & Smallworld for parties. Of course Catan is great. Also, I just played the Battlestar Galactica game @ a convention & really liked it. It had some RPG flavor with a traitor mechanism & coopetition. Ended up buying it & 2 expansions. It's a hit if you can get 4 or 5 people over.
Other than that, I have been a playtest monkey for my boyfriend. He's a game designer so I am always testing out the new ideas. It's pretty fun.
@ginalouise My 2 cents is sexism sounds really odd and dated to younger people and including it will make the project sound like it was on the shelf for a few years and now it's been dusted off, without editing/updating. Buzzkill.
@AJ Sparkles I have heard so many great things about Twighlight Struggles (and I got it in a board game swap, so I have no excuse for not having played it yet). And I've heard that if you like TS then you will also like 1960: The Making of the President. It's a card driven game about the Kennedy/Nixon election and it's wonderful. Also, a flashback to when California was a red state and Texas a blue state!
Tigris & Euphrates is a pretty classic Euro Game ('regarded by many as Reiner Knizia's masterpiece' according to board game geek) with tile placement, card management, and all that jazz. It's fun as a two player or multi, which is a quality I appreciate in a game.
Agricola is so great I can hardly over emphasize it's awesomeness. And it's actually a pretty good solo game too, although I found myself wanting to brag about the greatness of my farm, which is awkward when you're playing by yourself.
@AJ Sparkles Also, I've never been to a convention. How was that?
Friday is not Friday without my Bargain Bin! Jannnne, we miss it. Anyone found any great bargains today?
@thebestjasmine This is probably not at all what you're looking for, but I miss the Bargain Bin too, plus Molly Erdman put out the actual-factual Catalog Living book and it's a pretty great price.
@thebestjasmine Waterproof shoes THAT LOOK LIKE SNEAKERS. Just got them in the mail yesterday and desperately want it to be wet&cold so I can wear them. http://www.amazon.com/ALDO-Scarpone-Women-Rain-Boots/dp/B0077675JE
@thebestjasmine A bunch of great stuff was on sale at a Banana Republic in Canada this week.
You're welcome for the great tipz.
In news not-unrelated to one of the letters to A Lady this week, my ex texted me this week, after months without contact, to warn me about a phishing scam going around. What is this shit.
How do you get somebody to leave you alone, without having to admit to them how upsetting it is every time they contact you?
@Cat Jail Can you block their number?
@Cat Jail just don't respond. he was probably like "i really want to contact her, but no it can't be something completely transparent and desperate so okay PHISHING SCAM that'll work, it's totally legit and then she'll respond and happily ever after." but if you don't respond you take the rug out from under his wings. Or whatever. It should lead to multiple more months of no contact at least!
@redheaded&crazie Totes agree. you can't stop them from trying to contact you (that whole "it's another person you can't make them do what they don't wanna etc etc" thing) but ignoring someone is one of the most effective ways to get them to stop.
@redheaded&crazie Yeah, unfortunately I did respond, asking "Why are you telling me this?" To which he replied that it was because I had been phished before and had let him know about it. I didn't respond any more after that.
I also thought it seemed like a testing the waters thing, which is why I made my second mistake and looked at his Twitter feed, which is full of gushing about his new girlfriend.
So I learned my lesson regarding both of those things. I know there isn't really anything I can do beyond ignoring him, but I really wish he would stop.
UPDATE: A few months ago I asked for advice on someone who'd given me "The Fountainhead" as a gift. Yup, she later asked if I'd read it yet, then talked about how it was absolutely her favorite book. Fortunately thanks to your wise 'Pinner guidance I was able to politely bow out by murmuring that I hadn't had a chance to read it yet, so sorry, etc. etc. And now she's left the office and I can safely go exchange it for "Bossypants". Win/win!
Totally unrelated topic: favorite nail polish (maker/color/process)? I grabbed a cheap bottle of Sally Hansen yesterday at the Walgreens in "Teal Steel" and I'm loving my pool-party toes.
@area@twitter is that kind of like someone "giving" a Bible as a gift?
I read that book once, don't remember much of it (or maybe it was "atlas shrugged"?)
re: nail polish, I am starting to really want glitter on my nails, and I don't own more than a few glitter polishes but I read too many nail blogs and get tempted by the sparkles. Although some of them look really generic/bad for the prices that people are willing to pay...
@queenieliz I think giving Ayn Rand is JUST like giving a Bible as a gift. Well put.
Glitter toenails! I have glittery polishes from Sephora that are pretty good- the little ones you can get in the $4 bottles. I got a pedicure a few months back and got an incredible glittery polish that looked like a disco ball- I think it was Flurry Up from here. $9.50 a bottle, but if there's a color there you loved, you could try it?
ahahaha so after "Texts from Scarlett" went up an agent talked to me and wanted me to make it a book so I did so now there is a book what do i do what is this feeling you call "self esteem" where do i even put it, do i put it in my chest, should i take anything out of there to make room for it, will you come to a book signing so i'm not alone with strangers, please send help
@evil melis !!!!!!!
@evil melis Oh wow, best news ever! I am really excited about this.
I am advance-ordering copies for everyone I know ALREADY.
@evil melis i swear i posted my comment below BEFORE i saw this
@evil melis I think the answer to this is yes, everybody will come to the book signing. So many people will come that it will create a fire hazard and the less illustrious of us will be asked to leave.
@evil melis SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
@evil melis You have to keep us updated on the details of when it comes out!
@evil melis WHAT HOLY SHIT YES AHHH. We will ALL come to your book signing and bring strawberries and white wine and it will be GREAT.
@evil melis Where I can buy plz.
@evil melis ahhh! I am ordering copies for everyone and bringing them to the book signing.
ARE SO NICE TO ME
the book is not yet "done being written" so you can't buy it yet but announcements will come!!!
@evil melis Now you have an excuse to drink lots of brandy to get in your character's head! Win/win!
@evil melis Amazing! Congratulations!!! I will get it for everyone for Christmas/Hanukkah, yes I will!
@evil melis Oh goodness this is exciting. Congratulations!
@Faintly Macabre OH IT'S NOT JUST SCARLETT IT IS ALSO Texts From Mr. Rochester, Nancy Drew, Daisy Buchanan, the Wakefield Sisters, almost everyone in the Babysitter's Club, the Little Prince, Peter Pan, Maggie "The Cat" Pollitt, Captains Ahab & Nemo, Sherlock Holmes, the lady from the Yellow Wallpaper, Anne of Green Gables, Emma, almost everyone in the Mists of Avalon, the twins from Flowers in the Attic, Mrs. Danvers, Jeeves and Wooster, the Count of Monte Cristo, the gang from the Outsiders, and Samantha from The American Girl Doll collection (I couldn't invite you to my birthday party, Nellie, you're my friend but more like my factory friend not my party friend) and like seventy more. There's 100 chapters, basically (I'm never going to go outside agaaaaaaaaaaain)
@evil melis Whatever, I'm sure they all drank brandy! Daisy Buchanan's a big lush, Claudia hides bottles of brandy in her "snacks" box under her bed, there's no fresh water on boats, the Yellow Wallpaper was spinning because she was drunk on brandy, Bertie drinks brandy because he's posh, Jeeves drinks brandy to cope with his job, the Count of Monte Cristo floated back to France in a barrel of brandy, and Samantha stole her nanny's brandy supply to feed to the street urchins. SEE?
@evil melis !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, you get all published and stuff so we can all buy it for everyone for Christmas. And then we can read it out loud around fires on the beach along with our copies of The London Review of Books Personal Ads.
@evil melis Best news all day. I will buy all the books.
@evil melis The Babysitters' Club! The Wakefields! Anne of Green Gables! Argh, so excited. Yay!
@evil melis This is *literally* the best news I've received all week.
@PatatasBravas to be read in a Chris Traeger voice
@evil melis Oh, GOODNESS I need to read this.
okay people did I miss the conversation this week or last week or somewhere where we talk about melis having a book deal and flip the fuck out because that is amazing and there needs to be a whole buttload of champagne?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
cuz if that conversation hasn't happened.... can it happen....
(i probably missed the conversation, but congrats anyway)
@redheaded&crazie WHAT?!! MELIS HAS A BOOK DEAL?! Congratulations!!!!
@redheaded&crazie WHAT!? YESSSSS. Where can I preorder!?
@redheaded&crazie MELIS HAS AWHAT NOW
[EVIL] CHAMPAGNE FOR ALL
my agent's name is Kate, she has a white stripe in her hair like Bonnie Raitt [the white stripe comes from wisdom] hi Kate!!!
Especially for people who scream on Twitter that you should get a book deal and then it happens.
@evil melis Edited because I saw your agent found you on here, so hurrah! I hope The Hairpin will publish one of my submissions, soon, one day, I hopefully hope...
@Mabissa as for me, i'm just grateful they continue to publish my comments.
@evil melis HA! Awesome. I referenced my admiration for your good doppelganger down below just now. Congratulations to her! I will drink an evil champagne in your honor tonight, for reals.
Actually, how does one make champagne evil? I'll work with what I can get.
@beerd One adds vodka?
BUT WAIT WAIT WAIT-- How will one get SIGNED COPIES to give people as presents, if one doesn't live in SF? HOW?
@PistolPackinMama I'll mail you one, or demand the publisher pay for a book tour (hahahahahahahahhahahha "pay")
@evil melis exceeeeeeeelllleeent.
SO YEAH ALSO LONG WEEKEND WOOOO FIREWORKS SOMEBODY IS NOT GONNA MAKE IT TO TUESDAY ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
True. Last year a guy here in town accidentally blew his HEAD off with fireworks around July 4th. Yikes. I guess it probably didn't really hurt that much.
HELP y'all I need a bedframe/bed-buying tips in general. Send me your links (queen sized, please! I need IDEAS and I will totally buy a frame online if one comes up at the right price), tips, etc. Also if you can locate me some awesome teal/orange/light blue sheets that are soft, that would be great too. Or tell me where to find them. Help I don't know how to buy a bed.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
I just got a bedframe from IKEA--this one--in fact. I guess it comes down to what you really need. My husband and I were looking for a bed that:
-lies flat on the floor so we don't have to worry about accumulating dust bunnies underneath or having our cats hide under there and peeing under the bed
-has some storage space (our apt has very few and very tiny closets)
-would be easy to move in and out of apts. The bed we chose has a low profile, won't fall apart if there's an accident because it's not particleboard, but it's not incredibly heavy either.
What are your big bed priorities? Also, what do you like--modern looking beds (sleek lines), more ornate lines..?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Ooh I have this one (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S79889566/) and it is great. The only downside is that my current apartment is extremely oddly laid-out and in order to get into my lovely bed you have to hop over the footboard, but assuming that you don't live in a shoebox that won't be an issue.
@RK Fire Requirements!
Low (I enjoy literally falling into bed with a fwump noise. Futons do not fwump.) Flat on the floor is fine!
Not ornate--I am a big fan of sleek, simple lines
Easy to move, PLEASE
NO FOOTBOARD (@Kate Croy, I wrote this before I saw your comment! It is not meant to be a dig at your bed, which is lovely!) When you have a 6'7 boyfriend, this becomes a necessity. (I know your husband is tall, so you know what I'm talking about, right? Right.)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Ha no worries! I can absolutely see why someone who's 6'7 might not be in favor of having to poke his feet through a footboard. Many of the Ikea beds do seem to have them, unfortunately, but there's this one (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S79849844/) which is footboard-less and quite low. Good luck on your search!
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I happen to be on the market for the exact same thing! But with a footboard. And very particular headboard requirements. Have you looked around overstock.com? I have my eye on this one: http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Aristo-Queen-Bed/2967913/product.html.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher i have this one : http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S19849804/
which I love, I've already assembled it, slept in it, disassembled it, moved it to a new apt, reassembled it. It's heavy, but definitely moveable.
It's very comfortable because I like reading in bed. And I've yet to get shin bruises with this one unlike with the Malm bed from IKEA
@Lady_Terminator I have heard about Malm-inspired shin bruises, which is discouraging me from that particular model. But the HOPEN (ah, Ikea names!) is lovely!
I am in a terrible food rut. I'm a vegan and am gluten-sensitive and if I'm cooking just for me (which is most of the time), I tend to fall back on the same things because I'm a) cheap and b) lazy. But there are only so many nights a girl can eat lentils and steamed veggies! I feel like I'm hungry ALL THE TIME but nothing in my normal repertoire sounds good, so lately I've been eating more candy than I should because it's easy, even though eating jelly beans for lunch is a terrible choice and makes me feel awful. I've tried buying new and different foods at the store, but I usually end up wandering around and getting, like, a squash? And then I make it and have one cool and different meal but the next night I'm pulling out the bag of lentils because I don't know what else to do/make. What are everyone's quick go-to meals? I need sustenance!
@EternalFootwoman falafel? I had that for lunch and it was tasty.
Also, someone (argh forget who!) recommended this cookbook for me when I was in a food rut a few weeks ago. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1600940498/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00
I am not actually a vegan (but I like vegan food) and most definitely not a low-calorie low-fat type of eater, but I am liking the recipes so far. She marks everything that's gluten free (or that can be modified to be GF easily) and if you do not low-calorie you can do what I do - add extra olive oil to everything and then eat multiple servings.
I recommend Vegan Soul Kitchen, which is a terrific and super-creative guide to southern cooking/soul food. The author (can't think of his name right now, too lazy to google) also has a food blog where he sometimes posts recipes. Maybe that will get you out of your rut a bit?
@EternalFootwoman Thai green curry? (I like this with roasted garnet yams). Indian simmer sauces? I like the ones by Maya Kaimal.
Maybe just try doctoring up your basics with tasty sauces?
TheKitchn did a post on simple sauces - 4 of 5 are vegan and gluten free:
@arrr starr That was me! I'm glad you're enjoying it!
@Cat Jail I am! I haven't had much time to cook lately, but I made the falafel and was really impressed with the spice ratios and a tempeh stew which was tasty and really good for my whole "trying not to spend a fortune on lunch" thing. plus it spurred me to buy cards against humanity and I got free shipping on both!
@EternalFootwoman I've been eating all the beans recently since I learned how to cook them in a slow cooker and the Fiesta nearby sells them cor crazy cheap (73 cents a pound!). I really like making black bean salads and a good recipe that I have uses fresh corn, a tomato, black beans (1 cans worth) and avocado. You cut the corn from the cob and saute if for about five minutes and then mix the rest with a dressing made with some olive oil, chipotles in adobo and honey but you can omit that or use agave nectar. It should be gluten free but I'm not sure about the adobo sauce, you'd have to check. It's so good and you can doctor it up from that base with other things you like.
@EternalFootwoman Make...posole? Or baked potatoes with many toppings like maybe chili one night, broccolli and cashew sauce the next? Make fruit and greens smoothies when it's too hot to cook. Roast a pan of vegetables or just lots of one veggie like my fav garlicky green beans. Make gazpacho with avacado chunks in it. Make wild rice, add parsley and pomegranate seeds. Make quinoa FTW! And sometimes i eat popcorn for supper because I am an adult and ah do what ah wahnt.
Let me know if you need more ideas. I can do this all night.
@EternalFootwoman If you want a breakfasty/desserty type of thing, brown rice can work really well if you end up with a sticky or gloopy batch that you forgot about, I add brown sugar and mixed berries to mine but it is one of those porridge-type things where you can pretty much dump in any fruit/nuts/spices/jellybeans(maybe?!). Can keep it in the fridge and zap it for a quick hot breakfast. It isn't terrible if you eat it cold, but may be better suited to winter.
Also, get chickpeas, lots of chickpeas. Add them to things like curry or soup or salad, use them for falafel or similar, make your own beetroot hummus... Plus the dried ones are generally pretty cheap!
@EternalFootwoman If nothing else, google gluten free girl and the chef, she has a lovely writing style.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are divorcing and not a peep out of the 'pinners? Have we all learned the lesson that you may have a poster of a guy on your wall, but that doesn't mean you want to marry him?
@Myrtle We're discussing this up above!
@redheaded&crazie DaisyRazor's thread is much better than mine; join the chortling and speculation there!
Guys I think I learned to windsurf from an Olympian.
My college had a really intense windsurfing club (we were on a big river) and I learned how to do it from the senior who was the president of the club. Today, I'm looking at a list of Olympians from my state, and there is a woman competing in sailing and windsurfing who went to my college and graduated 4 years ahead of me.
I am toatlly obsessed with the Olympics and I think this is pretty freaking great.
I had a birthday this week, and was trying to think of some arbitrary "change" I could make in honor of the change in year (as is traditional) and I just thought of one. I think that, for this year, I'm going to not force myself to "give guys a chance" when I have a bad feeling about them. I'm just going to follow my gut and reject them.
I started today with this guy I was talking to on okcupid. I made some kind of lame but not really offensive at all joke, and he reacted with angry sarcasm and scorn (because he took the joke seriously, I guess). Then he argued with me about whether I was being reasonable in not wanting to talk to him or meet him anymore. In past years I would have talked myself out of my visceral dislike, because he was at least semi-literate and possibly decent looking and "an eligible man in NYC," how rare are those? But this year, and this year only, I'm not going to do that. I am going to be as judgmental and dismissive as I want. I will be arbitrary AND capricious in my dating choices, and I will not feel guilty or ashamed about it. I will report back how this works out.
@WaityKatie YAY TO BEING ARBITRARY AND CAPRICIOUS. And happy birthday!
@WaityKatie Happy birthday! This sounds like the best approach to dating. And if you ever start to feel guilt/shame, report to us and we will help dispel it. ("He uses 'reference' as a verb?! DO NOT go on a date with him, WaityKaite, I have a bad feeling about him, too!")
@WaityKatie I'm with you- inappropriate anger and wanting to force you to do something different that what you decided to do?!!! Guy is not a keeper. (I've recently reread "The Gift of Fear") ps Happy Birthday!
@WaityKatie Happy birthday! And fuck yeah for kicking juiceboxes out of your life before they even get IN your life. That dude sounds like the worst. The worst juicebox.
@WaityKatie I feel like guts are usually right, despite how much we ignore them. Way to go.
@WaityKatie happy birthday, birthday buddy! it's my birthday today as well, and you've totally inspired me to make some sort of change. I'm brainstorming right now. your particular choice sounds excellent by the way!
@Myrtle Ahhhh I read the gift of fear a while ago, and found it really scary. I was paranoid for weeks thereafter. The story about the woman getting lured by the guy offering to carry her groceries! So scary!
@curiouscamel He also wanted me to plan the date, because I rejected his last-minute suggestion of a date (which actually was on my birthday!). He was like, "well, it's only fair that you plan the date since I took the initiative." What? That is not how it works. That just weirded me out for some reason, and then the anger/haughtiness quickly followed and I was just like, no.
And thanks everyne for the happy birthdays!
@WaityKatie Right? And then how she snuck out of there?! He was closing the windows and turning up the music... !
I've also recently read "The Sociopath Next Door" and "Snakes in Suits."
Not exactly light reading, but I haven't liked some people in my life and wanted to find the pattern. And there was one.
@WaityKatie I am a fan of giving dudes a chance (to a point) because I'm fairly sure none of my friends would have given a dude like Mister a chance (my bff in fact said "omfg i would never talk to a guy again if he did that" or "that is fucking disgusting" or something...you know, about him calling me)
And then my friends are like wait your man cooks and builds you furniture and loves eating pussy what is this.
@Porn Peddler Well, I certainly don't expect anything like that! But, I don't know, I've spent my whole life basically "giving guys a chance" when my gut was telling me either that there was no attraction on my part or that the guy was being manipulative and controlling, or didn't really like me. I mean, making me feel like I did something wrong by making an innocent joke, and then expecting me to compete for his favor and impress him and prove to him that I'm worthy of being a member of his harem. That kind of thing. I'm always giving guys like that a chance, and it has always ended up making me feel like utter shite about myself, and usually ends with the guy dumping ME eventually anyway.
@WaityKatie Oh do not give the aforementioned dude a chance. You should tear his nuts off and bronze them. Fuck that dude.
But dudes that are inoffensive if perhaps plain or not viscerally exciting or a little awkward...those dudes deserve a chance to shine.
@WaityKatie May I recommend to you the other two books I read, as they will deprogram you of that even getting a toehold with you. In "Snakes in Suits" the two authors said one thing that really resonated with me: the sociopath is an intra-species predator. And my earlier read of "The Sociopath Next Door" gave me the rest of the description.
I had a boss like the juicebox you're describing, at my work. Armed with these books, I laughed in his face and then reported him to HR. You are a good person and don't deserve to be treated badly by a creep!
@Myrtle I will check those out! I have read a good deal about narcissistic personality disorder (turns out I have known a lot of those), but it's still a fight to overcome my natural propensity to go along with narcissistic manipulations. I know that I shouldn't, but deep habit sometimes tells me I should, in the moment.
So my intern was VIDEO CHATTING this morning. Just hanging out at her JOB, HAVING A GOOGLE + HANGOUT. When she giggled and waved at her computer screen for a second time, right in front of me, I finally said, "Are you video chatting right now?" She nodded, not even that ashamed, and I said, "Could you possibly not do that at work? I'm sorry but there's a line."
I know, I know, such a hardass :)
@shawbaby DUUUDE. She deserved that/even more hardassness. I had an internship where I had absolutely not enough work to occupy an 8 hour day but I was still afraid to do anything more than read newspapers online and gchat my other friends with office jobs.
@shawbaby But the Millennials are good at MULTITASKING. You just don't understand.
@shawbaby Hopefully she will take that moment and carry it with her for the rest of her life and end up not being a total shit to work with. You are to be commended.
@kangerine I think that's what bothers me the most, I am queen of gchatting my other office job friends and keeping up with 12 different blogs every day while at work but I at least have the BASIC HUMAN DECENCY to not be BLATANT about it.
@shawbaby Nice work! We had an intern in our department for a while who had been dragged into the position by her mom (who was friends with the CEO), was not at all interested in the work, and basically just did not want to be there. I swear if she wasn't on Facebook or Skype she was screwing around on her phone. I know we're not always pursuing the most intellectually stimulating of tasks, I work there too (and spend lots of time reading Hairpin comment sections, hehe), but REALLY?? Her computer faced inward toward the rest of the room, too, so it was really easy for anyone to glance over toward her monitor and see what she was doing. I would never have the nerve.
@shawbaby OK, summer intern related question: one of our interns is wearing the MOST inappropriate clothes. Like, our office is super casual, but ... you still don't wear your daisy dukes to work? Or your best green velour romper? But I have NO authority over the interns and no one who does seems interested in saying anything to her. And I don't want her to ... carry on this way? For the sake of future jobs where people will say things to her, and more harshly / with worse consequences? Should I just shush and look away?
@shawbaby Minimize your windows, people!
@Alixana I think you could give her some looks. I also suggest the whispered "you probably couldn't tell in the mirror but your skirt looks really short from the back - yikes!"
@shawbaby Other millenials make me want to fucking scream. So often people will walk into my store and just be like "CAN I HAVE A APPLICATION"
I realize it's a porn store and people assume expectations are low but how about a "Hi, are you accepting applications right now?" Or "Are you the manager?" ANYTHING? DAMN.
@Alixana Pull her aside and tell her just that - "For the sake of your future employment, you need to know that what you're wearing now isn't appropriate for the workplace." If you can make it look like you're concerned about her future and not about the retinal burn you get every time a pasty white asscheek pokes out of her too-short shorts, it might look less like a reprimand and more like a "hey, we girlz gotta look out for each other."
The stuff I see my female students wear on career recruiting day is appalling.
I turn 30 on Monday?!!?!??!
I am feeling pretty non-traumatized by this, mostly because I've already thought of myself as "almost 30" or "late twenties/early thirties" for a couple of years. Also because 29 was pretty epic and I've clearly gotten over my "waahhh I am not in college anymore" early-twenties malaise.
Also, my birthday party last weekend was legendary, Barney Stinson style. I have thoughts about this, but kind of nebulous but fun but way too much to get into right now. We're flying back east tonight for 2+ weeks with the family and the in-laws, which is a good thing humidity excepted. All in all, seems like a good sendoff to my 20's, though I may be less mature than I was when they started.
@arrr starr Happy birthday, fellow Cancer! Also, 30's great, it's 31 you have to watch out for (sorrybutit'sthetruth).
@WaityKatie Thanks! I just saw it was your birthday this week upthread - happy birthday to you, too. I'm trying to think of good sendoffs... personally I am thinking about tinting my hair red which I've been meaning to do for a long time, though it's maybe not so productive as refusing to go on pity dates. Seriously, I went through a few of those and the awkward just keeps building and building. Here's to a year of not wasting your time with that! :)
@WaityKatie Cancers are the best!! (My birthday's next Sunday).
Happy birthdayyyyy, ladies!
ETA: Also, for what it's worth, all my friends who are 34-38 say their 30s have been their favorite so far.
@arrr starr Yaaaay! Happy birthday! It does sound like a great send-off. And I think everyone should do red tints at least once, because they're awesome.
@meetapossum Thanks! Happy birthday to you, too.
I've heard that 30's are better than 20's quite a bit as well. Here's hoping (though I think that as I've gotten older I've gotten way less concerned with what other people think of me which in turn makes me much happier, so it makes sense that 30 would feel better than 20).
@SarahP Thanks! It has been!
I used to do the wash out red dye all the time in high school and college and haven't bothered to in awhile. Time to be less lazy and more fun!
@arrr starr YES do it, 30something fake redheads of the world UNITE. I have been anxiously waiting for the sun to turn my hair red all summer. It's getting there.
Still glad to take more submissions of pictures of your pets for the tumblr! pinpets.tumblr.com
Submission page is pinpets.tumblr.com/submit
The last few submissions are from mystery people, so if you folks want to drop me a note to clarify who you are I will edit the entries to have your 'pin names. Anyone submitting a new pic, please make sure to include your name in the blurb at the bottom! If you're going to use a text entry, then it's best if you resize your photo considerably, otherwise the format of the page makes some of them stretchyyyyyyy. It's definitely better to click photo entry instead, as then I think it resizes itself. Questions? Ask away!
@dale This is pure laziness talking here, but if I gave you the link to a photo I already posted, would you reblog? (I swear I will understand if this is not an avenue you want to open up! I'm lazy, not cruel.)
@dale I had a look at the code (it's not creepy, I'm a web designer!) and it seems that all the photos are automatically resized to 500 pixels wide, but if you use the text post, they're only resized horizontally, not vertically. Anyway, I wanted to use the text post so I could put two photos in the one post, so I just resized my photos to 500px wide and they turned out fine :)
So.. I recently discovered that I really like hiking. And I want to start doing it more! And camping! And work my way up to some backpacking, maybe! But not rock climbing, that shit terrifies me.
I do not, however, want to buy nor do I have the money to buy any gear. Is there anything that you actually NEED? (Specifically, do you really need hiking shoes or can I keep using regular sneakers? I realize if I actually went backpacking for an extended time I'd need something besides my backpack that I've had since high school, but.. that day is not now.)
@kangerine I would recommend hiking shoes, since it can make a big difference with food comfort on longer hikes.
And backpacking/camping is awwwesome. You'll eventually need a good quality backpack that you get fitted for so it's super comfy and won't injure you, and a good sleeping bag and sleeping mat. That, for me, makes all the difference. i can have a cheap/shoddy tent if I've got the other stuff.
@kangerine I know, I know, you just said you don't have the money, but one thing that has really saved me is a camelback. I think they start around $70, but when I realized how much I loved hiking a few years ago I decided to just go for it and drop the cash.
It's been totally worth it, and you are freed to go on longer hikes, don't have awkward water-bottles and can easily store everything you need!
Also, I've been using regular cross-trainers to hike with no problems, but will probably bite the bullet and get actual hiking shoes when they need to be replaced.
@kangerine If you're carrying heavy stuff and/or doing a lot of walking on rough/bumpy trails, you do need hiking shoes. They're strong, have soles designed for trail conditions, and if you get Gore-tex, you can just splash through streams. Mostly, though, they provide the support you need for packs and uneven surfaces. Mine were kind of expensive ($120), but I wore them on a week-long backpacking trip (my only such trip, sadly) and then as snow boots for 3 years in college, and they barely show any wear. Definitely buy them in person if you can--I bought them at EMS, which usually has knowledgeable staff and good sales, and they had an incline you could walk up and down to make sure the shoes fit right.
Other than that, all you really need is non-cotton stuff for long or overnight hikes, especially in cold weather. (Cotton dries slowly and loses all insulating properties when it gets wet.) Oh, and merino (smartwool or REI) socks are amazing, even in hot weather, and last forever. On day hikes, though, I still wear knobbly sneakers and jeans.
@kangerine Seconding Teenie's recommendation on hiking boots. I was surprised how much more surefooted I became. It's way more fun when you're not slipping on small rocks unexpectedly. Also a good hat and sunglasses on a leash, so you don't lose them if they slip off. Have fun! I love to hike, too.
@kangerine Backpack, which you have, in which you keep some extra clothing, shoes, some snacks, and of course water*. Depending on your area, a bear bell (not terribly expensive) can come in handy. If the terrain is rocky, or long as teenie suggests, then hiking shoes will be a good plan. But if you're just doing easier stuff for now, the running shoes will do until you can swing the hikers. Watch for sales at your local outdoorsy store, or maybe folks can give you a gift card for it for your birthday/holiday presents?
*the (extra) things (clothing/shoes) are all JUST IN CASE you get lost/need to fend for yourself for a bit.
@kangerine Everybody else has given good advice for what you need, but for acquiring it, stalk steep&cheap and backcountry outlet. This only works well if you are buying things that don't need to be sized, or are buying things that you are sure of your size in that brand/model because you have tried it on elsewhere. By doing this you can usually get really nice stuff at 50% off, but sometimes in weird colors.
oh man, steep&cheap. This week I bought a tent for a really good price, but still more than I was planning to spend (I was planning to spend nothing). But I'll need it in like a month! It'll be worth it to have a tent I don't have to duct-tape and line with towels in the corners when it rains!
@kangerine Hiking boots are worth it. I hike for a living (sort of?) and the #1 thing is to take care of your feet. Next to not having food/water, improper footwear is the worst ever. For every other clothing need (rain gear, non-cotton clothing in light layers) just go to a thrift store. There will be a million fleeces and quick dry pants and there is absolutely no reason to pay full price for any of that.
@kangerine Honestly... I am Bad, and I own hiking boots but usually wear Tevas or running shoes for hikes under, say, 8 miles. (I get blisters BAD and have yet to find hiking shoes that don't give me wicked blisters.) You really should have the ankle support, but I usually don't.
Is there anywhere you can get used gear? REI has used gear sales for members once a month or so, I think (it's been a while since I've lived near an REI, so I don't remember exactly how often). Also, Campmor. And Amazon.
As far as backpacking - I don't always take my cookstove (for one-night trips), so you might be able to put that off, if you have another way to purify water (I use chlorine dioxide drops). Also, if you live anywhere near a park with shelters, you don't need a tent right away. I mostly do shelter camping, until I can convince my parents to buy me a bivy sack for Christmas.
@Changeling steep&cheap is BAD for my bank account
@che Re blisters- have you heard of these products with names like Ultra Glide? It got talked about in the cartoon recently regarding chafing solutions for thighs but I followed links back to the Amazon reviews. One person said he'd read to use it on his feet and hey presto- no blisters. Sounds like my miracle product!
@Myrtle I saw that thread, and I bought some! I have nothing to report yet, except that if you try it, don't go for the "pocket sized" because it's about as easy to use as hotel deodorant (read: not very - it kind of crumbled when I tried to put it on because it's a poorly-designed tube). Just go all out and spend $7 on the big tube.
For day hikes, you just need comfy shoes and some way to carry snacks & water. If you want to camp, you'll need some place to sleep, and if you want to hike into camp, you'll need a way to carry all your things (school backpack will not be at all comfortable!)
Make friends with some experienced backpackers - they will have tried several different backpacks / sleeping pads / stoves / etc., and they will be ecstatic to loan you some of their old ones. And maybe you can go in trips with them and they will carry the stove and you can share it.
Comfortable footwear is priceless. If you are happy in sneakers, have at it! But if you are having foot or ankle pains, look into some other options.
I have a two part question for the group:
1. Why does it seem to me so many celebrity women seemingly get pregnant by accident, when presumably they have access to tons of help and medical care and such? I bet it's a lot easier to remember to take your pill when you have a personal assistant (and they can afford IUDs and stuff!)
2. Is that an offensive question to even ask, since it kind of sounds like I'm judging/shaming them? (Which I'm not, I just am usually sincerely interested in finding out how people got pregnant when they didn't intend to, as I never want to get pregnant when I don't intend to. Like whenever someone is pregnant I am like "HOW?!? WHY!?!" even if they did it on purpose.)
@annev6 I guess ... you can lead a horse to water but you can't force it to drink?
@annev6 1. Maybe not always an "accident"?
2. Maybe it's not all that much more than the rest of the world, it's just better publicized?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher @redheaded&crazie These both make sense. It's probably only an issue in my head. It's just with people like Adele - she has known her boyfriend as long as I've known mine and she is significantly younger than me and she is HAVING A BABY WITH HIM ALREADY WHAT? I mean, yeah she's a millionare but like, I still wish I could SIT HER DOWN and get some ANSWERS. Oy.
@annev6 I feel like there are always gonna be oops pregnancies (from carelessness and/or the natural failure rate of birth control), and if you have millions and millions of dollars you might be more likely to just say f it and keep the baby. I know I would!
@OhMarie This is kind of off but on-topic, but I recently found out one of my friends is pregnant and has decided to keep it. She's only 25, and she's a bartender, but she's moving back to Illinois to be with her family who will help her out (we're in NYC). She is not know for being...the most responsible person, but she seems to be happy with her decision.
Which...I am happy for her if she's happy, but I keep thinking about it and something in the back of my head just keeps yelling "HUGE MISTAKE."
@annev6 I would imagine that lots of them aren't accidents, but people keep quiet about trying for a baby? Like, if I was famous and all of my outfits and every move I made was in tabloids, if everybody knew that I was trying to get pregnant it would be really annoying to have everything be analyzed -- or, more heartbreakingly, if I was trying and not having success, I bet it'd be excruciating to have it in the press. So I assume that people just don't announce that stuff until they have to.
@annev6 This is just me theorizing, but it might be harder to get an abortion? I mean, I'd imagine that if you are constantly being followed by the paparazzi, it's going to be hard to just "slip into" an abortion clinic. Maybe a doctor's office who also performed abortions, but then you'd have to worry that medical records would get out, and since abortion is SO CONTROVERSIAL!!! you'd have to worry that it'd become a thing, and... yeah.
Does anyone know what happened to the Friday Bargain Bin? I have been missing out on my fave friday afternoon post!
I had a sort of successful conversation with a French bureaucrat today! Successful in that she didn't yell at me for calling her, spoke slowly so I could understand Skype French instead of hanging up on me, and gave me some of the information I needed and her email address. But this being France, the other half of the information I need should arrive sometime in the next month.
Fraaannce why are you so slow and capricious? I just want to know I won't be homeless!
(Also, can someone either hit me really hard in the head or give me something else to worry about for the next month so I can stop obsessing about the unknown information? Maybe I should just spend the next month drunk.)
@Faintly Macabre I think "spending the next month drunk" is largely what the French bureaucrats are expecting you to do, right? They're probably all "what? now?? but... summer... wine...??" Right?
@annev6 That actually is what they're doing! Apparently the delay is mostly because after they get our paperwork in April, they spend about 2 months doing fuckall with it, and then the next month or so is nationwide vacation. (Which is why you shouldn't ever visit France in late summer!) Maybe they wait to pretend to work until they're on vacation and therefore can't work so that we can fully understand what it is like to be French?
My impending alcoholism had better be covered under their socalized medical care!
Anybody want to help me get through some lesson planning this afternoon? It is a fun project I promise!
I'm teaching an advanced undergrad course this summer on the intersection of popular culture and politics with a focus on how ideology is embedded in television and film. I am working on a lesson plan right now on media deconstruction and need a couple of good mash ups to show - stuff along the lines of the Buffy v. Edward video. I'd love to have at least two other mash ups to show and preferably one that addresses white privilege. Any suggestions?
@tvplease Hmm, there's the video comparing Star Wars and Magnum P.I. (Magnum vs. Solo) which opens up conversations about the number of white, hero protagonists there are, and how minorities are often shuffled into "supporting" roles. Also, it equates the black mechanic character in PI with a Wookie which... is an issue of its own.
One of my favorite mash-ups is the Toy Story/Requiem for a Dream one (Toy Story Requiem)... not sure how that would fit into your curriculum though!
@tvplease I don't have any mash-ups in mind off the top of my mind, and I'm on a terrible airport connection right now, but have you ever shown Origin Stories? It's a video that deconstructs the treatment of characters of colour in the buffyverse. If you google “It’s Nikki Wood’s fucking coat.” it should come up. I kind of love it!
Ugh, does anyone have any magic job openings in England so that I don't have to move out of the country? :-(
@oboe-d-amore Very late but what field? You don't happen to speak Dutch/Spanish/Italian by any chance..?
You guys, my field exams are in a week and I'm in my office trying to work after eating all the food and it's not happening. Please tell me I'm going to pass my exams and then have an awesome summer. And exercise again. I am feeling a bit out of shape and uncomfortable with all the eating and none of the exercise.
@geek_tragedy I love this scenario in conjunction with your username. I imagine you trying to type in your office while a greek chorus chants in the background. Also, good luck with your exams! :)
That is kind of how I feel sometimes, all dramatic-like. Maybe I should make a playlist of a chanting Greek chorus--that'll distract my office mates.
Also, thanks for the good wishes! Hopefully things will go better for me than, say, Antigone!!
Monday: went to a clown/puppet variety show in NYC called Tiny Dangerous Fun. It was incredible. The MCs lured a few volunteers (me) up on stage with cupcakes and then got us to perform skits after intermission, and that's how I wound up pretending to be the hull of the Titanic (in the movie Titanic) in front of a bunch of strangers on a Monday night. Then they gave me an oversized clown nose as a prize.
There was a huge office luau... a minigolf tournament... I met some friendly people… and had my first frozen margarita. And went to the Strand, and bought a book of Brahms and a book of Strauss to learn.
Crying! That's also what I did this week. Got a lot more crying done re: recent breakup. Thursday was super productive in terms of tear ducts. Walking down the street, tears streaming down face, blowing nose on Starbucks napkins, etc. I have definitely mastered crying in public without shame.
@Queen of Pickles awww sending a hug and tissues and a bottle of wine because I HAVE BEEN THERE.
@Queen of Pickles
May I just say that I think any lady awesome enough to be the hull of the Titanic on stage is awesome, and I am also easily lured by cupcakes. I vote more cupcakes less tears. I hope it works that way for you!
I got the fam in town! Kind of a big deal since I'm in NYC and they live in Texas. I'm taking them to a Cyclones game and Les Halles.
Also, I just discovered this TV show called The Unusuals? It's starring Jeremy Renner before he was a thing and OMG it's so good, but it only went nine episodes so now I'm like yaaaaay new awesome TV, boooo that it's so short-lived.
@quickdrawkiddo Hey, fellow Texan in NYC! At least, I'm assuming you're originally from there? Whereabouts in Texas does your family live?
@Rosebudddd Yay! I am totally a Texan. My folks live in Denton, which is where I grew up. What about you??
@quickdrawkiddo I'm from Huntsville, or as my Dad calls it, Huntspatch. (Like Dogpatch in the L'il
TGIF, Hairpin! My weekend plans include staying indoors as much as possible because it is going to be hot here in Chicago. My mom is in town for a long weekend, so we may do something fun. But mostly I am tres excited that the Olympic Gymnastics Trials are tonight and Sunday because I am this close to going crazy over who the 5 girls on the team will be. (Sad, I know.)
Also: I really enjoyed the Pinup last night, and I can't wait for the one next month!
@Aspiriationally Natalie I watched that show awhile ago. oh, man, it was so awesome and so short-lived. :((((
Seeking suggestions for a novel that is readable, absorbing, and smart. I tend to not prefer to read straight up sci fi/fantasy or YA. I just want something like a beach read but still relatively highbrow? Recent things I have liked that more or less fit rhe bill include The Tigers Wife, City of Thieves, Art of Fielding. Any suggestions?
@vunder Leigh Stein's The Fallback Plan got plugged here a bit, and like the dutiful consumerist I am I got it out of my library and really liked it! So maybe that.
I also recently read Jane Harris' novel The Observations. It's one of those trashy-but-brilliant historical novels.
@vunder If you like thrillers and anti-heroes (or have any interest in: photography, the 70s punk scene, Maine, the Scandinavian dark metal scene, or REALLY GOOD BOOKS) I recommend "Generation Loss" and "Available Dark" by Elizabeth Hand. I read "GL" a few years ago when it came out; last week I absolutely raced through "AD" - as in, had to put it in a coworker's desk drawer at work because it was too tempting to read it if I left it in my office. (Also I highly recommend Hand's story collection, "Saffron and Brimstone.")
@vunder If there is a book you love and you'd like to find something similar, this website may help: http://whatshouldireadnext.com/.
I hit a block for awhile for books I was motivated to read. Now that Nicole has been putting together such wonderful recommendations my book queue is out of control! I spend about 2 hours a day in the car so I've been going through audiobooks from the library or Librivox. But does anyone have suggestions for working in more time to read print books?
@vunder The Beauty of Humanity Movement was a big hit with my bookclub for being high brow and well written without the crushing depression of a lot of our books. Some of the stuff it touches on is sad, but the author is so fantastically deft at not glossing it over but also not tipping into depressing. It's just this engrossing, perfectly balanced book full of fantastic characters. I've never wanted a bowl of pho so much as when I was reading it, though.
@vunder I loved Tiger's Wife and City of Thieves, AND I'm reading The Art of Fielding right now. May I please please suggest The Rules of Civility by Amor Towles to you? The prose is dazzling and it's about life in 1930s NYC.
Ugh, I'm presenting at a conference next weekend (anyone here going to Evolution?), and as a late-stage masters-y person I am feeling awful and horrible about my research. I've spent so much time on this and it still sucks! Why did I sign up for this? I'd rather pet my cats. Blech, blah, etc.
Maybe I should put lots of animations in my powerpoint to make the audience miserable too. Heh.
@phylogenetic Animations.... of cats.
And, courage. It will get better. Or over, which is also better.
I signed up for a hip hop dance class, and I had my first class this week. It was HARD! I foolishly figured that since I love to dance around my apartment and bust out some pretty good moves at parties/weddings, that I would be good at it. But dang...the moves themselves are easy until you realize you have to do them at breakneck speed. Anyways. It was a lot of fun, and I can't wait to get better so I can have an arsenal of full-on routines instead of making shit up as I go.
@olivebee ooh, do you mind if i ask where you are taking them? that sounds fun
@olivebee: I want to do this so much.
@smidge I am in Chicago; the classes are at a place called the Old Town School of Folk Music, which offers classes on literally anything dance- or music-related.
@Too Much Internet Do it! I'm not usually the adventurous/try-new-hobbies type of person, but I have always admired hip hop dancers, so I figured I would bite the bullet and try it out. It also worked muscles I never even knew I had.
@olivebee I was wondering if that's where you were! I took their Bollywood class once and it was amazing.
Thank you so much everyone who gave me advice about running last week, I started running this week and I feel really good about myself but also a little bit like running is what will one day kill me. Today I bought a ridiculous pair of shoes for myself as a "running for a week" reward because I have definitely set up a rewards system for this which might be a bad idea because the whole point is to keep running every week? Maybe it'll become a habit so I won't feel the need to reward myself OR maybe I'll just keep buying myself things on Fridays FOREVER.
@VDRE maybe smaller things like new socks or a cute headband to keep your hairjazz out of your face?
@TheDangQuesadilluh That's a good idea, especially because I have been realizing my lack of good running hair things.
Best day ever? Possibly!
1) Ladyfriend has been visiting me here since Tuesday and is staying through July 4th! She is so lovely and just took me to lunch!
2) I just had an awesome meeting with my boss, who is one of the most amazing people ever...
3) ...and in that meeting we talked about my job. My job after I graduate from law school. Yes, kids, I am officially going to be an associate attorney at this firm, complete with a FABULOUS benefits package. LADIES! I won't be one of the thousands of unemployed law grads! I JUST LANDED MY DREAM JOB AT MY DREAM FIRM that's actually in my desired practice area!!!!
@S. Elizabeth a hearty CONGRATULATIONS!! to you! That is fantastic news!!
@S. Elizabeth Mazal tov!
@S. Elizabeth HOORAY!! Congratulations!
@all Thanks, Ladies! I'm so excited and happy!
@S. Elizabeth That's amazing, congratulations!
@S. Elizabeth Holy CRAP that's awesome!!! Congratulations!
Does anybody want to trade Sherlock fanfic/slashfic links?
Yup, I ask that with absolutely no shame. LET'S DO THIS!
@wee_ramekin YES. Does anyone have good Sherlock/Lestrade fics (that aren't on AO3, because I think I've read all of those)
@schrodingers_cat Oooo, I don't have any Sherlock/Lestrade (Lelock? Sherstrade?) because that's not my OTP (<---I just learned what that means this week! I am so so so new to fandom!).
I'm a Johnlock-er all the way.
Hopefully someone will respond to this thread and help us out! :)
@wee_ramekin @schrodingers_cat Y'all need to get on tumblr, stat.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Elemntary, my dear Everpresentie. But WHICH Tumblrs?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I've been avoiding tumblr because it seems like SUCH a timesuck. Also, I don't know how well the more obscure fandoms are represented there.
@wee_ramekin I am consulting them now! I know that several people I follow write fic, so I've asked them and will report back with answers posthaste!
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Oooooo thank you!
I have read everything on AO3 that Kate_Lear has done, and also everything that sophia_helix has written. They are both amazing writers.
My dream is a Johnlock pairing that's a lot like what they write: heavy on the angst/uncertainty of will-we-won't-we, with a culmination in delicious sexy times! Hee!
Thanks for helping out!
@wee_ramekin sophia_helix is actually who I asked! She's fabulous to follow and, of course, a Pinner. I figure she'll have the hookup.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher EEEEEEEEEEE! I kind of fangirl over here for sophia_helix. Her stuff is my absolute favorite, because she is a fantastic writer and her take on the characters is exactly how I imagine them to be.
She has a three-part series that's *the tits*. I want her to write more so very badly, but I know it's bad form to ask, so I just re-read those three stories over and over and over again and smile really happily to myself. :)
I normally do not wade into arguments about what hypothetical sexual encounters between fictional characters would be like, but I feel like Sherlock Holmes would be really terrible at sex! Even with Watson! VERY WELL JOHN IF IT MUST BE SO LET US COMMENCE WITH SEX YOU MAY DISROBE AT YOUR LEISURE AND I SHALL DO LIKEWISE, the end.
@schrodingers_cat It is DEFINITELY a timesuck. Which fandom? because I'm not sure what "obscure" means. TELL ME MORE!
@evil melis If you decide to write fanfic about Sherlock/John, I voluntarily cease breathing, because nothing else in life will ever compare.
@More battenburg, vicar? Your posts aren't showing up on the thread! I can see them in my e-mail inbox, but I they don't show up here. (And I concur with you on the need for intervention: I actually cancelled plans with friends last week by pretending to be "tired" so that I could read slash-fic!)
@schrodingers_cat I haven't read any so can't recommend, but have just done a search on FanFiction.net and there seems to be plenty here: http://www.fanfiction.net/tv/Sherlock/14/0/1/1/0/50136/50139/2/0/1/
Happy reading :-)
COMMENCE SEXING NOW, JOHN
This is just embarrassing for both of us
I REALLY DO THINK THIS WILL HELP ME FIGURE OUT THIS DAMNED CLUE
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER SUBSTITUTE FOR COCAINE I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT
No, no, this is definitely better
BECAUSE I WOULD ALSO BE FINE IF YOU JUST LET ME USE COCAINE AGAIN
Nope, you're right, I'll stop complaining, I'm very glad you've stopped using cocaine
WELL I AM A BIT HIGH RIGHT NOW
Oh, my fucking GOD
ARE YOU MAD AT ME
YOU SEEM MAD
DON'T BE MAD AT ME
IT'S VERY INEFFICIENT
@evil melis Hahahahaha YESSSSSSSS!
Welp, there goes. Voluntarily suffocating self in 3...2...1...
@evil melis But he'd look bored/text/mutter to himself about corpses throughout the whole thing and he probably smells of formaldehyde. Actually, I think I dated him in the early '90s?
@evil melis Ummmmm next book idea: "Sexts from Sherlock Holmes"
WHY ARE YOU MAD AT ME
ARE YOU EVEN STILL MAD
HAVE SEX WITH ME ONCE FOR YES
TWICE FOR NO
TWICE FOR YES, ONCE FOR NO
JUST TO BE SURE
Yes I am still angry
AH BUT WHY JOHN
THERE'S THE MYSTERY
let me give you a clue
it starts with "lies-based cocaine sex"
solve that fucking riddle you fucking jerk
I GROW TIRED OF THIS GAME
LET'S HAVE SEX IN THE TARDIS
AH YES I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT
@wee_ramekin That's weird. I've just logged out and back in again - made any difference? Next step is to take a riding crop to the corpse of my laptop, of course.
@More battenburg, vicar? I can see you now! All of your posts but the first one are showing up...weird.
you have the TARDIS
the actual TARDIS
@wee_ramekin Damn it! I was looking forward to the riding crop!
@wee_ramekin This may be totally unpopular, but can you (or any other lovely pinner) point me at some non-slashy fanfic? Does that exist? I've just finished rewatching both series yesterday, because im starting to write a science-fantasy novel that is heavily influenced by/an homage to Sherlock Holmes (and also Anna Sewell's Black Beauty) so when I saw your comment on the Ask A thread I ran right over here. I want to see how other people do it. The Johnlock thing is adorable but not what I'm looking for right now.
@stormageddon Yeah, it's called gen or genfic and if you look on archive of our own and filter by rating, or just look at the gen tag, you should find some stuff!
@realtalk Thank you!
@wee_ramekin Is it too late to contribute to this thread? Do I care? Anyway, I've just finished A Cure For Boredom by Emma Grant, and if you have any kinky inclinations, it's a good read. The plot itself is kinda dumb ("let's go to a sex club *for science*!") but it's well-written, fairly long, and has plenty of sexy sex.
@realtalk Dark is Rising, Robin McKinley, and Miles/Gregor from the Vorkosigan series. So yeah, Yuletide is when I get heaps of fic.
@More battenburg, vicar? I know there is probably some on FFN, but I just can't bring myself to go to the Pit anymore. I know there is some good writing on there, but I can't wade through bad grammar and Magic Cocks of Healing to get to it.
also @evil melis there are a number of writers who portray Sherlock as asexual but in fulfilling relationships.
@schrodingers_cat oh my GOD YOU ARE MY HERO AND IF YOU HAVE GOOD VORKOSIGAN FIC PLEASE LINK ME TO IT
@wee_ramekin OHMIGOD this thread has gone to the awesome while I've been gone.
ANYWAY, Miss Helix responded to me on Tumblr with this:
"Heeee! Can I just give you my recs? I can’t comment on the Hairpin anymore because for some reason none of the comments I leave on my iPad ever show up for other people. :(
Everything abundantlyqueer has written is good. Performance in a Leading Role is an unusual AU (they’re actors!) but super well-written and a big fandom classic. Mazarin221b also writes good stuff. Greywash writes very intense and dark stuff but it’s very popular with people who like that kind of thing. And my friend breathedout’s “The Violet Hour” is a wonderful Bloomsbury-era AU mystery that’s a lot of fun.
For genfic, “The Green Blade” is the fandom classic. I don’t read that much gen so I can’t give you another rec, but stuff is out there!"
So anyway, that's the recommendations from the lady who would know.
I'm going to go die now, because [evil] Melis.
@schrodingers_cat Recently there seems to have been a lot of weeping cocks. They must be very sad . . .
@More battenburg, vicar? OK, so I just joined tumblr, but I don't understand how it works, but all of this stuff sounds so awesome!! somebody teach me tha internetz plz... :-(
@Didldidi Oooh, what's your tumblr username? Pinners are the BEST followers/people to follow. Best practices with tumblr: just start browsing around and finding things you like! Reblog things you find interesting, and add your own commentary if you'd like (I recommend this highly). You can also use it to post your own content. Have fun! (I'm bluelightseven over there, btw.)
Last week I mentioned how I tried to get Saturday (tomorrow) off work because of Pride, but we were understaffed and I couldn't get it. Well, since last night I have been vomiting copiously and I also have diarrhea and the sweats and a headache from the dehydration and I feel awful. And I know I'm probably going to have to ring in sick tomorrow and I feel so guilty because I know they'll have a tough time getting someone to work in my place. And also, I'll worry people will suspect I'm faking in order to go drink beers in the sun? My boss is nice and knows I'm not the kind of person to leave her colleagues in the lurch unless she was really sick, but I still feel weirdly guilty about it. Argh, this anxiety is making me feel even worse! Though my mother is probably right when she says nobody wants a waitress who could potentially barf on their customers...
Anyway. Just going to head back to bed and listen to podcasts and hope this passes by the time I wake up tomorrow. Womp womp.
@Decca: I hate that situation. If I were you I would call/email your status even now, like "I feel awful, I'm not calling in yet but if I'm this sick tomorrow I'm definitely not coming in, just letting you know now so you can get a short list together."
@Decca Honey, keep your vomiting sick self out of work no matter what. You don't need to be out and about, and they don't need you to bring whatever bug it has in with you.
And rehydrate. Make a friend/flatmate/family member get you lucozade and popsicles. And watch TV. TV will make it better. :(
Love, an immune-compromised person who supports your self imposed quarrantine.
@Too Much Internet Done. I was actually supposed to work tonight and had rung in sick earlier, but I just texted my boss to give her an update and say I wasn't sure I'd make it in tomorrow either. I do feel a lot better having texted her just now. Thanks.
@PistolPackinMama Are you my mother? You're wise. Thank you, thank you. <3
@Decca Well, dear, I haven't wanted to blow the secret. But. Yes. Also, have you met a nice young woman/man yet to bring home for Christmas this year? And stand up straight and tuck in your shirt! Here, eat this stuffed cabbage, you are looking peaked.
@PistolPackinMama Oh my God, that'd be the best thing ever.
@Decca Stayyyy home. If you go, you're going to be miserable. And no one wants a pukey waitress. They'd rather be short-staffed than get sick. And you'll be miserable. Stay in bed! Sleep! Sad day you're missing work AND pride, though :/
I feel you, though. The day after my first med school exams, I had a terrible, puke-all-night migraine, and I was REALLY nervous about calling in sick to all my meetings with professors because I knew that 90% of my classmates were hung-over and I didn't want them to think I was. But it sounds like your boss will believe you, so rest!
Is it just me, or did this week go by reeeaallly slowly? I was just notified that our office is closing early for the long weekend. Score.
I just started a job that involves a lot of me reading my Kindle while I wait for things to happen, SO, I would appreciate some Kindle recommendations!
I like mysteries (in that they explore human psychology) and fantasies (Harry Potter, His Dark Materials, Terry Pratchett, etc). From 'Pinner recommendation, I have read and enjoyed We Have to Talk About Kevin, We Have Always Lived in the Castle, A Dark-Adapted Eye, and Whoever Fights Monsters. Good dialogue and realistic characters is a must, I really focus on that shit. Oh, and I'll try anything that's free!
Also, has anyone ordered from aliexpress and if so, do tell. My clothing shipped and on its way, OMG.
Lastly, rereading His Dark Materials has made me notice some problems with it :( Dang.
@Inkcrafter I just read The Hammer by K. J. Parker, but it is a little like Barbara Vine where everyone is capable of awful things, so it's not cheerful. Hmm, and The Long Price Quartet by Daniel Abraham. And Guy Gavriel Kay (I liked The Last Light of the Sun). And if you like mysteries, Case Histories by Kate Atkinson or What the Dead Know (or basically any of her books, but I like that one) by Laura Lippman are good.
I can't think of any free books right now, but Dorothy Sayers' mysteries seem pretty cheap if you haven't read those yet.
Oh, thank you for the long list! I don't mind things not being cheerful, as long as they're realistic. I'll download free samples and see what looks best!
I have 4 softball games this weekend. I get the distinct feeling that I will not be able to walk/will have lost all liver function by Monday.
@Brunhilde I'm catching, so my knees will probably be shot too. Also, if I don't find a place to take a hot shower after the games on Sunday, I'm going to lose it. Living without power is kind of like camping. There's only so long I can go before I need civilization.
Hello Hairpinners I missed you! I have been working overtime WITHOUT A DAY OFF since June 11. *whew*
I was reinstalling electrical equipment for a client after they had a fire in their MCC building. Now I have a long weekend and extra money to spend! If anyone wants to come to Saskatchewan I'm buyin'! :D
@Saskquatch Yayyyyyy! That sounds so lovely! Isn't the afternoon of the last day of work THE BEST?
I'm moving to New Orleans in a month! What should I do there? I'm starting law school in August but - are there things I cannot miss? Or have to know? (Like, about bugs...?) I'm coming from NYC and I HAVE a bike but will I completely regret not having a car? I haven't moved in 10 years and I'm very excited!!!
@MargotSpeaks I think it kind of depends on where you live, but I've only been there as a tourist. HOWEVER, I most strenuously insist that you must eat at K-Paul's! That's Chef Paul Prudhomme's restaurant in the Quarter and holy COW is it good! Not even horrendously pricey, either. So yummy.
@MargotSpeaks The city is totally bikeable, except that heat is unbearable. Public transportation is decent I think? What area are you moving to? You're going to love it here! We should do a pinup!
@Creature Cheeseman I'm moving to Uptown, near Magazine and Audubon Park. I'm mostly concerned about things like, transporting cat litter on my bike or dragging my laptop to campus in the rain, I think. I'm also used to just picking stuff up on my way home or whatever, and with the heat and the student-budget-ness, that worries me a little. I would love a NOLA pinup!
@MargotSpeaks My brother lives in NOLA and bikes everywhere without incident! He loves it there, as far as I know. (Go to the Parkway Bakery! If there's a skinny tall dude with a big nose, tell him I say hi!)
I plan to relax after a very successful first week at my new job that I love. It will be splendid, regardless of what I wind up doing.
Hairpin Proffesional Ladies, a question for you. I am trying to transition my career path and on the verge of cutting my hours at work and returning to school. I have been looking for general clerical work, but lacking experience getting no where. I have been advised to look into training for bookkeeping, and in looking at the academics involved find that an AA in Accounting is only slightly more credits than an AA in Bookkeeping. Looking at a job listing at an organization that I one day hope to one day have ANY job with a senior accounting position pulls almost $90k (an unheard of sum in the industry I currently work in.) So, my question to you is what would you do? Go for the accounting degree? Stick with bookkeeping or just take some office technology courses and hope to get into a secretary job?
Yeah, as an accountant I highly advise you to do the small amount of extra work to get an accounting degree. Bookkeepers are a dime a dozen and generally don't get paid much.
@Reginal T. Squirge thank you! I knew if I asked here I could get some advice from someone in the field.
Advice needed: Nipple rings? If you have them, yeah or nay? I have used (and enjoyed) nipple clamps. I am kind of terrified of losing sensation, though, so I want to start with one (losing it in both would be tragic), but is that wimpy / silly looking? My rationale is 90% sexual and 10% "that looks hot."
@che I had a friend who had trouble with infections, despite doing everything 'right' and, as far as I know, none of her other piercings were problematic like that. Other people might have better luck, though. :)
@che Ditto on the friend-with-infections. One of my best friends in high school could NOT get his to stop getting gross and infected. However, another friend of mine seems to have had no real trouble with her two, so it is possible to rock it without all the pus.
@che I'm about to have mine taken out because it's weirdly starting to migrate forward in my nipple, but i really enjoyed it for three years. I only went with one, for fear of losing sensation, and I liked having different sensitivities! Also, it made me look like a pirate...
@adorable-eggplant @LibrarySwampThing AHH. I have never had success with ear piercings (my only piercings), but I wear shittastic earrings made out of who-knows-what-metal because they're cute, dangly, and cheap. I'll go for the most-hyperallergenic nipple bar I can find. I think I am willing to risk infections / rejection, I just worry about not having sensitive nipples anymore.
@elissa_what? "Also, it made me look like a pirate..." SOLD. (I also have asymmetry going on with a chest tattoo anyway, so I think I'll be symmetrical enough if it's on the other side from my tattoo.)
@che I also have a chest tattoo! But it's on the same side as the piercing. I think it's because of my scoliosis, but I have the urge to "balance" that side of my body with modifications.
@elissa_what? I think that's kind of cool? Not that you have scoliosis, but the way we use body mods for purposes beyond being pretty.
@che key to avoiding infection/finicky nips: 10 or 12g jewelry- titanium, internally threaded. I had them for 4 years and never had a problem, I only took them out when I started having a lot of health problems that involved frequent MRIs and it was too annoying to take them out all of the time.
Good luck with your health problems :/
@che thanks, it sounds way more serious than it is. But anyway! If you live in NYC, definitely go to Pure Body Arts in Brooklyn and see Brian Decker, he was great. I've had several friends go to him and they all gave glowing recommendations as well. If you don't live in NYC you might be able to catch him in your city, he does conventions and stuff.
@contrary Sadly, I am in the south. I am not modest at all about my boobs (read: I ran a race in SF topless), but I've heard great things about an all-woman studio in my town, so I might go there for a piercing. When I can afford my next tattoo, though, I'm driving 4 1/2 hours to this place: http://lovehawk.com/home/.
My friend with the beautiful space tattoo on her back goes to Born This Way Studios in town for tattoos and piercings. She speaks really highly of it!
@Inkcrafter I think I WILL go to Born This Way. I'd heard good things about the all-female one, but the tattoos on their FB are shite. They could still be good piercers I guess, but, eh. BTW also got good marks from the Metro Pulse reader's awards, I think?
I have both mine pierced - one horizontal (the usual) and one vertical. The vertical one healed faster on my enormous jugs, but they both healed up fine (and that summer I was working outside as a house painter, getting sweaty and moving my arms all around - do not recommend!). I left jewelry in for, I dunno, ten or twelve years? Then one day I just took it out, and that was it. There is still smegma! That is the only downside. As far as sensation, I've never heard of losing it- I certainly got more. Also, it will make your nipples bigger forever, even after you take the jewelry out. Wheee, nipples!
@Gone Away Lass It sounded to me like ya done fine. But, hey... he blocked, you blocked... doesn't matter. You don't have to talk to the dude and that is all that counts.
I started a large fire this week and I burned things with the fire. Then I got nostalgic for this corner of the internet. (Delurking to admit to admiration! Admiration for humorous internet comments! From a possible snail!)
Huzzah huzzah huzzah, an evening to myself and my last three episodes of Slings & Arrows! And chocolate! I am prematurely giddy.
@dale Slings & Arrows!!
@adorable-eggplant I KNOW. I can't believe I waited so long to watch the series.
@dale I stumble across it by accident at the library, and I'm so glad I did!
Hi Hairpin! I've been lurking for a loooong time, posted for the first time yesterday and...I guess I am really going for it, this "interacting with other Hairpinners" thing. Meep. Y'all are so smart and witty and overall amazing! No one wants to hear my pathetic little opinions blahblahinsecurityblah. Aaanyways. I am a Kansas transplant to the Bay Area working at a truly shitty startup, but eventually aiming to be a clinical psychologist/therapist. I used to be pretty intensely involved in synchronized swimming and I will DEFEND IT TO THE DEATH (that picture up there above "Unusual Miss America Talents" really excited me until I realized the article wasn't actually about synchro). And...other things.
@Lurkasaurus AHOY TRAVELER
YOU ARE WELCOME HERE
@Lurkasaurus join the SF Bay Area pinners facebook group!!!!
@Lurkasaurus hello and welcome to the Bay!
@Lurkasaurus I don't work for a startup in the Bay Area, but I LIVE WITH ONE (long story.) I am also a transplant, from Colorado. Join the Bay Area group and come to the pinup on Tuesday!
@Lurkasaurus As lurkers coming out on the same day, I think we're required to be Hairpin besties.
That or fight to the death, I mix those up a lot.
@Lurkasaurus I am so glad there are so many SF Hairpinners running around today! I am moving there in six weeks and I am just about at the point where all I can do, talk about, or think about is "omg I am moving to san francisco in six weeeeeeksssssss." So yay for other transplants!
@Lurkasaurus Let's get drinks next week!!! Welcome!!!
@everyone Thanks so much for the welcome! I will absolutely try my hardest to make it up to the city on Tuesday night! (Bad news: I work in Los Altos, and I am public-transportationally challenged; good news: I get off work at 4 pm so I will have plenty of time to get lost/miss stops/etc etc etc and still find my way there!)
@LibrarySwampThing Fighting to the death sounds kinda painful and whatnot...I choose Door #1. :D
@Lurkasaurus Google Maps is pretty good about getting public transit directions, or 511.org!
I got my last-ever PhD stipend yesterday and, as it looks like I'll have a 'real job' soon (but not a postdoc yet - boooo) I figured I could buy some new work clothes. But then I thought, oooh, no, I should save and pay off debts. Brain to me: "All you need to do is stay out of shops!"
Umm, I stayed out of shops. But I didn't stay out of the internets.
@OwlOfDerision Oh, the internet. I just hid my credit card, but that doesn't work when you have your info saved on Amazon.
stop me from talking to a Ron Paul acolyte on facebook. It's like watching a train wreck, only I'm Casey Jones and I want it to happen.
I watched Cruel Intentions last night. Ryan Phillipe O.m.g...i did not appreciate that shit when I was...however old I was when that movie came out.
I have an internship in NYC this year and I like my immediate team members but I'm really struggling with the other interns I'm living with / meeting at corporate events. There is just so much casual racism ("You've slept with a black guy? What a slut!") and entitlement("I don't understand why the homeless people in Manhattan don't just move somewhere cheaper!") and I haven't met anyone around me who seems to be uncomfortable with it. I work a lot and I have so little time here, and I don't know how to meet normal people in this amazing city.
@hollerithcircus I'm an intern in NYC too! Let's meet up! I know three people so far, and work in Midtown, ugh, which is just terrible in general.
@cmonster I would love that! Can I email you somewhere? My email has my full name and I'm paranoid about googling...
@hollerithcircus Ah, yes! cmlong33 at gmail. I guess mine is close to my full name but not quite!
@Gone Away Lass No, not stupid. But. He can have treated you like a chump and you could have stuck up for yourself AND he could have had his good points and been a fun person to get to be around.
These are not mutually exclusive traits, and you can still be fond of the guy's memories AND have been a boss who told him to take a hike.
I don't care what else he said "I will keep contacting you till you give me what I want" (this is that dude, right?) is douchey. Even if he is often lovely.
That is OK.
Said the lady who had a terrific boyfriend once except for the fact that he was dealing drugs in no small amount and failed to mention it to me, his girlfriend who taught in a prison/ worked for the state who didn't need a possible drug charge on account of that kind of failing to mention it behavior. Also he was alienated by my bourgeois middle class life. Or something.
Loved the guy. Sex was great. He was so much fun and really made me feel good. Still was a train wreck.
You did good.
Hey guys! I know that I'm not the most frequent poster around here, but I wanted to share my good news! I've never posted on a Friday Open Thread, so I thought I would start now. I got a job this week, lost some weight (I'm in the process of dropping some poundage after a few years of zero attention paid to nutrition and little to no exercise despite being athletic in high school), and I got a free oatmeal at Starbucks today because their computer froze (the lady at the cash register didn't feel like futzing with it anymore and handed me my money back). It's such a relief to get hired even though it's not permanent right now because all everyone has been talking to me about is how the post-undergraduate job market is a shit-show (and indeed it is - hang in there guys!).
You all are a lovely bunch of commenters, and I hope your weekend/upcoming holiday is awesome!
@Bed Monster Yay! Congrats!
@Bed Monster I got free stuff from Target this week, too, thanks to a malfunctioning cash register. I felt sooooo guilty about it, and pleaded with the cashier to let me pay, but she just winked at me and shooed me away. Karma is apparently a thing!
@olivebee Yeah, I did the same thing. She tried to give the computer some extra time by getting all the stuff for the oatmeal, but then she gave up on it and handed my cash back to me. I said that I could wait/it's fine/no, I should pay, and she was like, nah, it's fine. And yeah, even though I'm Hindu, I'm not the most religious person. However, I do believe that the concept of karma has some merit because it obviously works sometimes.
Sir Changeling's parents gave us two tickets to a CHOCOLATE FESTIVAL tomorrow night. omg. There is going to be so much chocolate. I'm bringing a tupperware.
@Changeling What...what happens at a Chocolate Festival? Where do they happen? Can I change careers still?
All the local chocolatiers/bakers/anyone who has anything to do with chocolate bring their cookies/fudge/cake/things dipped in chocolate and then we, the guests, eat. it. all. One flat cost for the ticket gets you all you can eat and surreptitiously stuff in your purse. Then there is entertainment! Last year it was a murder-mystery play, this year it's stand up comedy. Southern Vermont! Come visit!
@Changeling Damn you Vermont! With your beauty and Ben and Jerry's and now your magical all you can eat chocolate. If you've got free kittens, I may begin looking into immigration right now.
I did not do enough work this week and I'm still so frakking tired. I have to go to something with my family, but I just want to stay at home and read Heartburn and freak out for no reason over the lack of responding texts. I am not good at sending things out into the void! I like responses, even if they're just, "No I can't make tomorrow, sorry!" Ahhh.
Some dude told me that my lack of girliness is super hot. I was excited, as usually men are freaked out/turned off when they realize I could probably outshine them in most "masculine" efforts. (Eww that sounded a lot more braggy than I wanted.)
@The Kendragon Shine on, you masculine and also feminine diamond!
Also affirmation is not bad. It is good!
@The Kendragon: Can/do you rock a stetson? That is pretty hot.
@Too Much Internet
I'm more of a Resitol girl. Light grey felt.
Kind of random, but anyone have suggestions for local eats or fun things to do in Milwaukee in early August? I'll be there for a weekend on business but if there was, say, a bratwurst festival that would be the coolest. Thanks 'Pinners!
@Barry Grant If the weather is nice, go to the Alterra on the lake (Alterra is a great Milwaukee coffee chain and that one has an awesome view). There is often good people watching there as well.
@Barry Grant I've only visited once, but the museum is right there on the lake and super beautiful!
@Barry Grant Brewery tours!!
@Barry Grant Check when the State Fair is - I forget if it's early Aug or early Sept, but if it's going on when you're there you can definitely have your sausage there (and see a few thousand gorgeous farm anim