Friday, June 15, 2012




“Memorable moments. Where do I begin?”

To celebrate Mother’s Day, we asked 20 moms to describe memorable moments of their motherhood. Now it’s time for the dads.

Steve & Elena

“My daughter and I sit in this park. We found some Ramona books at the flea market. I take her to school each morning, too.”


John & Audrey

“It’s fun playing pop music. Audrey is a wild dancer.”



“I bought my granddaughter an electric guitar when she was 14.”


David & Koko

“Last month my kids graduated: the younger from high school, the older from college. These years of standing behind them mean something.”


Dennis & Ruby

“Not yelling as much as my dad. Doing it differently from how I was raised — a bit rough, frankly.”



“For my girl’s second birthday we held a party. She fell asleep, so everyone went upstairs. An hour later we heard little footsteps. Lori appeared with the cake in her arms. But all that remained was a cupcake-sized cake; our hall was covered with crumbs.”


Yoni & Theo

“Theo’s favorite book is Freight Train. The first time I read it I imitated how freight trains would sound if they could speak. Theo laughed and made his own gravelly voice. We have the same sense of humor.”


Jay & Max 

“Last week Max’s doctor asked him how he generally feels on a scale of 1-10, and he said 7. Then the doctor asked if he ever feels like a 10. He said: ‘When lying in bed with dad.’”


Jared & Eliza 

“She locks eyes with me as I feed her.”


Mitro & Free 

Mitro: “It’s great to have life be less about me, me, me.”

Free: “I take orders from a two-year-old.”



“Each Disneyland ride has its own gift shop now. I told my son he could choose three toys per day — 20 for the week. That worked until Winnie the Pooh’s shop. As I stood in line he kept bringing armfuls of toys. I asked him to put them back. He said: ‘Daddy, you’re not my friend.’”


Dave, Chauncey & Spencer

“The birds talk to me. If I’m sad, for example, they’ll say ‘How are you doing?’ or ‘Let’s go to the park.’ Chauncey is 16 and knows hundreds of words.”


Scott & Eli

“Eli does Tae Kwon Do. He won a trophy for his form.”



“One afternoon my son, two at the time, kept grabbing himself. My wife asked if he needed to go to the bathroom. He said no. But she took him to the men’s room and lifted him to the urinal. Nothing happened; she said push harder. He pooped on her foot.”



“My family lives in India. I return whenever possible.”


Wilber, Zavion & Zayla

“When I was young, my mom and dad died. These kids remind me of them. They’ve come back.”


Jeff & Willow

“Today Willow flew her first kite.”



“On Sundays I cook eggs for my kid. Good bacon. Butter toast.”


Jon Cotner and Claire Hamilton have made other slideshows based on nicknames and wishes. Jon is coauthor of Ten Walks/Two Talks. Stay in touch with them here.

196 Comments / Post A Comment


Made me blub, starting around Jay & Max. (Again!! I love these. Thank you.)


@barnhouse all the (happy) creys


@barnhouse I startled sniffling at Jay & Max. Then I read Wilber and actually let out a little sob. (Luckily I am alone). I have to go call my dad now...

Is It a Hat?

I just love this so, so much.




@redheaded&crazie and then he can call me cuz, MEOW!!!

Katie Walsh

@redheaded&crazie Hey, I just saw you on this post on the Hairpin, and this is crazy, but here's my commenter name, so email me maybe? (it's a stretch I know). BUT HUBBA HUBBA


also this may be irreverent but is frankie trying to hide something there?


@redheaded&crazie When I read this I assumed you were talking about the bird (Chauncey?) with his back to the camera.


I kept thinking I knew exactly which one I was going to come down here and squeeeee about then I'd look at the next one and be proven wrong!


@themmases Yes, me too! I started to memorize the dads' names to comment on down here, but it was too much for me because I LOVE THEM ALL.


@SarahP Same here, same here. My eyes are so watery and I'm at work... I <3 all the good dads of the world. Including mine!


@SarahP Haha, I was going to do the same thing. Great minds think alike...and ours do too.

give cheese some pants

I was doing okay holding it in until I hit Wilber, Zavion, and Zayla. that broke the dam.

Roxanne Rholes

@give cheese some pants Her little John Deere shirt! What the heck! So cute!

fondue with cheddar

@give cheese some pants ME TOO.

Nicole Cliffe

@give cheese some pants WILBER

oh, george

@give cheese some pants YES ditto


@give cheese some pants that's when I broke, too!


@give cheese some pants Dennis killed me. It's hard to break the cycle.


@give cheese some pants Yep, Wilber just made me cry at my desk


the CAKE one! and the new dad beaming.


D'awwwww! They are all adorable, but especially Steve & Elena, since he's totally dressed like my dad.

And now I'm going to go scour the neighborhood for Dave, because a man who walks around with a parrot on each shoulder? That is a man I want to know.



He's a parront!

oh! valencia

@nyikint Oh, Wilber put me right on that emotional edge and then with how much this comment made me laugh... oh, my heart.

oh! valencia

@KatPruska Steve & Elena were my favorites too :)


@KatPruska There's a guy in my city who rides his bike all around downtown with a parrot on his shoulder. OK, it's not TWO parrots, but it's a parrot and a bike and it's ALL THE TIME so I love him.


These are fantastic! It's amazing how strangers can open up about their families and tell a story in just a few words.


ahhh Gawd!! Love this!! But, seriously...you guys! Is baby Theo wearing acid washed, tie-dyed jeggings??? Poor kid!

You New Yorkers are a strange bunch!


@ThundaCunt His dad is named from the sanskrit word for vagina...something tells me this dude is straight up west coast.


@parallel-lines why is there a dude named yoni.


@madge though i guess there are also dudes named dick.


@ThundaCunt I was just thinking that my little boy needed those acid-washed pants! And those adorable shoes! But, then again I am a New Yorker!


@parallel-lines Pretty sure he's named after the Hebrew.


@parallel-lines It's also a Hebrew name.


@EternalFootwoman Nope, Vagina. VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA.

you hear that House Republicans?!


@parallel-lines no indeed. no, no, no. It's a very common nickname for Yonatan, which is the Hebrew version of Jonathan.


And that poop on foot incident is the main reason my sons are trained to pee pee sitting down until they are like 10 cuz seriously, you don't know whats coming out and boy children have THE. WORST. AIM!!! I'ts like the water guns at the fair, gone awry in there when my 9 year old goes. One too many 4am potty breaks sitting in cold pee cause my son beat me to the night time tinkle. I told him he had to sit until his aim was better. And as I typed that i thought am i an emasculating, tyrant mom!?? OMG!!

fondue with cheddar

@ThundaCunt Some man children have the worst aim, too. The taller they get the further they are from the toilet!


@ThundaCunt No, it's good. My (non-American) husband says this is the civilized way to go for all men -- adults too. Good habits!

He does hate it if I use the German word for it, though -- Sitzpinkeln! ≠Stehpinkeln!
(we are neither of us German).


@harebell Oh god. German is the most hilarious language sometimes. Meine Handi klingelt!

My German brother goes nuts when I insist on calling laptops lappis.

Sitzpinkeln! Snerk.







you leave again

Porn Peddler

@jen325 ....boys are so gross *shakes head* As the partner of a fairly tall man.....ugh.


You GUYS! This made me so broody! (wipes tear) Last year when my dad turned 60, I made this cheesy but heartfelt video for him. http://youtu.be/sDqkH9aNtlo I've just noticed it has 200 views now... probably mostly from him. He liked it.


Frankie is a badass granddad....but I am sure that his granddaughter's parents weren't thrilled about the addition of an electric guitar to their household, particularly if she has never played before.

Also, Mike - TWENTY TOYS??? But aw, his smile is so wide and happy and adorable.

I love Glenn and Wilber and Dennis.

Leon Tchotchke

@olivebee I think that grandfathers are meant to be the Trickster figure of families. My grandfather supposedly spent an afternoon teaching me how to climb out of my crib which, of course, caused no end of problems. IT IS THEIR GRANDFATHER NATURE.


@Leon Tchotchke my dad bought my 2 year old nephew a giant clangy "ship's captain's" bell.


@olivebee Seriously! Three toys a DAY? You will need a whole other suitcase!


@Megano! AT DISNEY!!! Thats easy $100 a day on TOYS!! jeesshh!!


@Leon Tchotchke yes. Mine got me a fireman's helmet when I was 3. With a siren on it.

(And it was awesome for the approximately 45 minutes that I got to enjoy its possession).

Fear Biter

@Leon Tchotchke My grandfather used to take me grocery shopping with him once a week and buy me all the candy! My mom got tired of dealing with a hopped-up kid the rest of the day so she put her foot down and said you may only by babypixie one candy from now on. The next week he brought me back with a 1 pound bag of M&Ms. He still laughs until he cries when my grandmother tells that story.


I'm jealous of all your granddads. Mine, though an inspiring and lovely person, was totally uninterested in children, so he really didn't start talking to me till I was a teenager. Even then, it was all about academics (he was an Ivy grad in the old boys' club days and it showed ).


@olivebee hahaha the toy thing made me crazy too. Stop buying your kid so many toys! One per vacation!

The Lady of Shalott

@Leon Tchotchke I never had a grandfather (my dad's dad died before I was born, as did my mom's stepdad, and my mom's real dad ran out on the family when my mom was like six)...but everyone tells me my dad's dad would have LOVED me and I am EXACTLY like him. I like to imagine that we would have gotten into so much shit together and absolutely tortured my parents.


@Leon Tchotchke So true! Also, something happens once they go from "Dad" to "Grandpa." There's this man who looks like my dad, but now goes by "Grandpa" and says things like, "Turn on more lights!" "If you want cookies, you should have them now, before dinner." "Just leave those wet towels on the bathroom floor - your mother will pick them up, that's her job." "What do you want, you want a puppy? Only one? Not two?"

This is not the man who raised me.

The Lady of Shalott

@Bebe This is the point where someone links to the Bill Cosby bit where he talks about how his parents are not the people who raised him--they are old people who want to go to heaven.



@The Lady of Shalott Haha - I forgot about that one! I'm sending that to my sister.


@olivebee My mom bought both of her brothers' sons drum sets. She was done having her kids!


Scott is wearing those shoes that only dads can wear because who knows, you might spontaneously need to ford a river at any given time.

I always thought "Yoni" meant Vagina - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoni
Is this a case where someone is named after where they were created?

The Lady of Shalott

@parallel-lines Dad fashion = it is the strangest. My dad totally has those sandals, too.

And yes.........that's what I thought it meant, too?


@parallel-lines I think that's a coincidence, cause it also means something in Hebrew. It's not an uncommon name in Israel from what I understand. Also, in my experience (i.e. the dude I knew with that name) it's pronounced slightly different, kinda like 'yawnee'.


@parallel-lines It's also the way you say variations of Jon in many languages, from what I understand. J-said-as-Y-wise.


@parallel-lines see above. very common diminutive for Yonatan, which is Hebrew for Jonathan.


@stonefruit Yeah, I got it. Maybe someone should leave this same comment again, five or six more times?


@parallel-lines wasn't sure you had, since you made fun of this foreign name in two separate comments on the same post.


@stonefruit It's what we call a "joke" in the business.


@parallel-lines you don't say! foxed my tail.



@parallel-lines I'm a teacher, and I wear shoes like that every day as soon as it's warm enough. Every time a four-year-old says, "Hey, (pearl)! My daddy has those shoes, too!" my knowledge that I am the most stylish one of all is totally confirmed.


My daddy has those shoes, too!" my knowledge that I am the most stylish one of all is totally confirmed....Flat Fee Real Estate Broker

fondue with cheddar

I love Ong's outfit!


@jen325 Ong's outfit! So fantastic! What could be in the belt attachment?? Phone? Or something else?

fondue with cheddar

@redonion I think it's a phone, and he uses it to text his grandchildren every day.


Dads are the best! I wish I could go hug my dad right this second.


@cuminafterall I know! It makes me want to jump in the car for the 8-hour drive.


oh, this just makes me the happiest.

one cow.

@Gertrude Truly. I am at a 10 right now.


Chauncey and Spencer! Chauncey and Spencer!


@frigwiggin I'm not going to say that I advocate owning large, exotic birds, especially knowing what that industry is like, but pet birds are pretty hilarious. And they DO TOO have personalities, haters to the left. My boyfriend's dad has a cockatiel named Peekaboo who is obsessed with socks and will follow one around the room singing to it if you shake it over his head. I love and miss him. Oh, except his mom has this cockatoo named Peaches who is the scariest, most evil little bird who has an ear-piercing shriek. She is a monster bird. But I love Peekaboo.


@frigwiggin I have a Jack Russell mix who is obsessed with socks! That's awesome that a cockatiel is too.


@whateverlolawants My sister's dog loves socks, too! And underwear. He likes to steal them so people will pay attention to him and chase him around. My sister once caught him rooting around in a bag that he had managed to unzip to get to the dirty laundry inside.


@frigwiggin My sister had a Quaker, and, man, that bird... He would bite me and then CRACK UP, so clearly he was intelligent as well as mean as sin. He also played peekaboo with the cats, which was somewhat more endearing.


@frigwiggin My dad had an African Grey when I was a kid that would bite him whenever my mom or I came in the room, she didn't like sharing him. She would also mimic my mom's voice to get him to come downstairs by yelling, "Bill! Honey!" He would come down, realize it was the bird, and get so mad. If the dogs were barking she would yell, "Sasha, Schai, SHUT UP!" just like my dad. They are really funny companions.


@che @klaus Aw man! They do get really protective sometimes, especially the bigger ones. Very loyal. Sometimes we would all be in the living room, where Peekaboo's cage was when he lived with us, and we'd be chatting and laughing and whatever, and if we stopped, sometimes we would hear him continuing to make this little birdie laughing noise, like he didn't know what was funny but he just wanted to be a part of things. Melted my heart every time.


@frigwiggin Yes! Kiwi would mutter to himself ALL THE TIME, and sometimes it sounded like he was trying to be part of the conversation. The muttering was adorable!

We also had to cover his cage when we watched movies because he screamed otherwise - either he really hated TV, or he hated being ignored.


Somewhat off topic, but this all just reminded me of a short story I read a long time ago called, Jealous Husband Returns in Form of Parrot. I had to re-visit it just now!


sometimes it sounded like he was trying to be part of the conversation. The muttering was adorable!.....regal assets company


I want to go to brunch at Leblanc's house. And I kind of want him to lend me some of his clothes, too.


@carbonation A sharp-dressed man who appreciates quality bacon? Count me in. I'll bring the mimosas and bloody mary mix.

oh, george

one of my friends had an idea for a band called "my dad and the dads." I want all of these dads in that band.


"Daddy, you're not my friend." BAAAHAHAHA oh man. These stories <3__<3

fondue with cheddar

@Scandyhoovian When my ex boyfriend's 3-year-old brother didn't like something someone did he would say, "You're a bad boy, _name_!" regardless of gender and regardless of whether said thing was actually bad or just displeasing to him.

He also had trouble with my name so he always called me "John." So "You're a bad boy, John!" was spoken to me several times over the course of our relationship. Hilarious.


@Scandyhoovian My niece, about 5 at the time, to my father, who had just told her she could only have one cookie before dinner, not the two she wanted: "Grandpa, you're not supposed to say no to me."


@Bebe When my sister Rebecca was...3? 4?, my family was over at my father's aunt's house, and the adults started to have a heated discussion. My dad's aunt Mary raised her voice at him and told him to calm down. At that, Rebecca marched right up to her, tangled mop of messy, dark, curling hair flying every which way, planted her hands on her hips and yelled "You can't yell at my Poppy like that!".

The adults were momentarily stunned into silence by the temerity of this wee elflette, until my Aunt Mary recovered and said "Oh yes I can! I used to spank your Poppy when he was your age!".

Rebecca, of course, did not believe her. Poppy was *never* our age!


"Oh yes I can! I used to spank your Poppy when he was your age!"....JWP Lawyers


I reminded my boyfriend yesterday that Sunday is Father's Day and that we should take his dad somewhere (mine lives in another country, and my stepdad in another state), and he was like, "why would we do that?" Because it's Father's Day, you doofus! His parents have their problems, but they're still his parents. And it's not like he hates them, he's just an apathetic boychild who doesn't think excuses to go out with family are fun. (He shows his feelings in other ways, by fixing their computers and stuff, I suppose.) But he just made a joke about taking his dad to Sizzler and then we didn't talk about it anymore. And I'm like CHERISH THEM DAMMIT my parents are all at least 900 miles away.


Also, is Scott drinking a Jarritos? Holla! Tamarind is my favorite, closely followed by mandarin.


@frigwiggin LOVE those.



I'll actually get to see my dad on Father's Day this year, which I never get to do because he's always away. (He's retired and just travels all the time because, why not?)


John of John and Audrey: Are you the incredible hulk? You are busting out of all of your clothes...even your shoes!


@ba-na-nas hehehehehe HE IS!


@ba-na-nas Toms + not clipping your toenails = Hulk shoes.

Daisy Razor

Daddies with kids pretty much always explode my heart.

My daughter was born on my dad's birthday. I called him while I was in labor and was like, "This is it, Dad. No more presents after this." This year they will be turning 3 and 72.

captain mal

Jay & Max .. I think my heart just melted.


This is great.

Redheads have even more fun

Good thing I work from home, because I'm bawling. I think my dad would tell about the time I was so bad he had to threaten to get his belt, and I just looked at him with all my four year old sass and told him his pants would fall down without a belt on.

Calling him now.


@Redheads have even more fun
When I was a toddler I threw wicked temper tantrums. My mom threatened to spank me once and I looked her dead in the eye and said, "I can run faster than you."

Tuna Surprise

Dads are the best!

Been There Done That

I called home to talk to my mom the other day and there were high pitched cheeps in the background. My dad woke up at 4 a.m. to pick up 16 baby chicks at the local post office. Sunday is Father's Day AND Cuddle With Baby Chicks Day.


Weepy glees for the daddies!!! My daddy would probably start crying if you asked him about his favorite memories...he's emotional like that. (Like father, like daughter!)


Dads! When we were last on vacation, he said "You and I are the most alike, and Mum and your brother are most alike."

Papa Interrobanged, I will drink white wine and read the New Yorker with you, happily not talking, any time you like.


“On Sundays I cook eggs for my kid. Good bacon. Butter toast.” Great memories with my dad after his divorce.


Dads! The best.

I think my dad would tell the story of one afternoon when he was home alone with my sister and I, we must have been about 2 and 4, and we decided to give Daddy "pretty hairs". So he let us put allllllll our little plastic barrettes in his fine, blonde hair with our stubborn toddler fingers that maybe pulled a little too hard. This was going very well until the mailman came to the door.

I have the picture framed at home because I love it.


@antipretty and his accompanying photo would be him in some paint-stained jeans wearing a Harley Davidson tshirt. I'm starting to suspect he loves his bike a smidgen more than his children.


@antipretty When my mom was pregnant with me, my sister (3 at the time) was obsessed with playing "Baby." We have a photo of my 6'2" dad lying on the floor, baby blanket covering about 3/4 of his chest, holding my sister's teddy bear, while she is "feeding" him with a toy bottle. We fight over that picture constantly - I realize technically she should get it, but I just love it so, so much!


@Bebe Make a copy! She can keep the original and you can have the copy. Everyone wins!



The time I wore a dress with a lace overlay and my dad told me, very concerned, "Your dress has holes in it."

The time I got my period for the first time and he was the only one home, and he took me to the grocery to buy a box of tampons, totally unfazed.

The time I was a little kid and he took me to see The Lion King and during the elephant graveyard scene, he asked me if I was scared and if he should hold my hand, and I said, "no" very defiantly, and he told me that HE was scared and asked if I would hold HIS hand.

I love him so much, I want to call him right now.

The Lady of Shalott

@yeah-elle Oh my god this is so sweet and so wonderful. When I was a little girl and had the Pretty Pretty Princess game, my dad would play it with me and I would delight in making him put on the clip-on earrings and necklace and ring and bracelets and crown. He was such a good sport about it, too!


@yeah-elle Dad Things! Yes, more Dad Things!

When I was tiny my dad would catch me between his knees and rock me back and forth, singing, "I caught you in the baby trap, baby trap, baby trap, I caught you in the baby trap and won't let go!" And I'd scream with laughter and try ineffectually to escape.

I know I've gone on (and on) about him around here, but while he has his problems, my dad is so funny and smart and a great inventor of facts (aka he lied to me constantly as a kid). I still remember him telling me about the time he was floating around in space and got sucked into a black hole, only to be reincarnated as a duck. Also, he once prevented his brother from murdering someone, so that's good!


@frigwiggin He was big on tickling, too. Like, the "walk around the garden like a teddy bear" thing, and I'd always pull my arm away before he got to the tickling part, and he'd say, "if you love me, you'll do it!" Which actually sounds kind of fucked up in retrospect, but I promise it was not terrible.


@frigwiggin Ha! My dad was an inventor of words! "Sugar diabetes" became "sugar dead beetles". "Pneumonia" was pronounced "PEE-neumonia". In fact, I didn't realize until an eighth-grade presentation on diseases that "PEE-neumonia" was not the correct way to say it!


@frigwiggin More Dad Things! My dad did a version of the baby trap as well.

When I was in elementary school and would go to summer camp and he would leave for work before I woke up, he would leave me little notes. Most of the time they were just "Have a good day! Love, Dad" with a drawing of a smiley face or a little animal or something, but I am so so so so glad I saved them.

Also we used to play a game where he would hold my hand as we were walking somewhere and he would squeeze my hand in a pattern and I would have to squeeze it back in the same pattern, and they would get more and more complicated and we would always look at each other with a secret grin and giggle. I am 23 now and sometimes when I visit home and hold his hand after hugging him or something, he squeezes my hand really fast twice and it makes me just want to hug him again.

Ah, dads! There is a lot of stuff I don't know about his life and we are NOT the best at talking about feelings, but he has always always always tried to be the best dad he can be, and I love him to bits for it.


@wee_ramekin Aw! My dad was an elementary school teacher for a long time, and I was in his 5th grade class, and it blew my mind when he told us all a story about how he grew up mispronouncing the name Phoebe because he'd never heard it said, only seen it written, and that was probably the first time I ever thought about my dad being the same age as me at one point in time.


@yeah-elle My dad used to pick us up, flip us upside down, and hold us over the trash can saying it was time to take out the garbage - for some reason, this was AWESOME. He also used to get on all fours, and let my sister and I ride him like a pony.

We're going to pretend his chronic back pain is completely unrelated to these activities.


Here is a song, without commentary that my father sang to us as little ones in the bath:

Sooner or later I'll be an alligator
And I'll eat all of my children, every one (every one)
Oh I'm a happy cannibal pappy
I love a good infanticidal stew (wouldn't you?)
Sooner or later I'll be an alligator
And I'll eat all of my children, that means you


haha it's your fault i'm like this PATER!!




@melis My dad once told me, while bathing four-year-old me, that Santa watches us through the air vents.


@frigwiggin This is horrifying and hilarious and I just cackled aloud in my office, oops.


@yeah-elle @yeah-elle Ahhh Lion King related Dad Things! When I first saw that film with my mum and sister, it traumatised the crap out of me. Mufasa's death stirred up a lot of my 6 year old Feelings, such as worrying about my dad dying someday, and feeling so sad for him because his own dad, my grandpa, had died a few years previously. I think my mum thought I was being kind of a wuss, but anyway it was decided that my dad would take me back to see the damn Lion King. This time, when the sad part came, it was still sad, but my dad squeezed my hand and did a comedy-sad *SNIFF* and I felt better. I learned the very important lesson of Sometimes Stuff Is Sad But We Can Deal.

Cheers, Dad!


@The Lady of Shalott My dad used to drape all of the Pretty Pretty Princess jewelry over his glasses.

He also had a game called Tickle Monster, where he would kind of crook his pointer finger and sing the Jaws song (dooo-do...doo-do...do-do-do-do-do-do) and then chase us around the house.

The Hyperbolic Julia Set

@wee_ramekin AHHHH! YES! My dad is such a word inventor! Cocoa Puffs are Cocoa Croobies, my little sister is Flooby because he calls curly hair Floobies, touching someone on the nose is called "Woobying"...and so many other words I can't even remember them all right now. I remember the first time I went to a sleepover and found out that nobody else's dads knew what Cocoa Croobies were. I was then convinced that I had the best dad ever.


@OhMarie My dad would pick me up by placing my palms on top of his and lifting me straight up until my elbows gave and I crumpled back down to earth. I was the only sister who could ever get lifted above his head like this without my elbows snapping, and it made me so ridiculously happy.
My dad also taught me about wildlife, and camping, and is a major reason why I am who I am. and now I'm crying.


I have never been able to shake the feeling that fathers only pretend to care about their children (particularly daughters) because they know that's what they *should* do, or what today's society expects of them. ('Sup children of divorce with indifferent dads!) While I objectively understand that is not true, it's my brain's default setting. However, I feel like if I keep looking at this, maybe I can start to change that pattern of thinking, at least a little.

oh! valencia

@linolanayseda Oh, honey! I feel you. I felt similarly about my dad, but now that I have my own child and see how her dad is crazy about her, it helps.


@linolanayseda And some don't even pretend, sadly enough.


I'm gonna go ahead and carve out a comment-thread on this post for those of us whose dads aren't around any more. Also, I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade, nor am I fishing for sympathy; just want to write out some memories of my Pop (and give others a place to do so, if they want!).

“On Sundays I cook eggs for my kid. Good bacon. Butter toast.” - This was pretty much my dad's specialty as well. Being a musical man, he made up a little ditty when we were younger called "Jelly On The Corners", inspired by our jam-stained mouths.

He'd bounce us on his knees singing "Jelly on the corners, jelly on the corners, jelly on the corners of your MOUTH (doo doo doo)" over and over and over again until he got tired (we, of course, never tired first).


@wee_ramekin I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope this Father's Day isn't too difficult for you.


@wee_ramekin My dad is still around, but he's going through some rough times right now so I've been thinking about him more than normal, and these little memories are the best and the sweetest. I'm glad you have your memories, I am getting teary just thinking about them. Thank you for sharing, wee.


@Mame Dennis-Pickett-Burnside @frigwiggin Ladies, thank you for your kind thoughts. Father's Day has been difficult since he died, but not horrible. Usually I just take out my rage about it by REALLY. FORECEFULLY. deleting the 'Father's Day Sale!!1!' e-mails that I get.

ETA: @friggy, I am sorry to hear about your dad. I have been following your story about him over the past few weeks in the comments, and I wanted to let you know how sorry I am about what your family is going through.

Hee, @Mame, I have a memory inspired by yours below: When I was little, I had a Fisher Price lawnmower - you know, the ones with the little marbles in them that would pop up as you pushed it along? And every time my Dad mowed the lawn, I would walk behind him with my little lawn mower, and I felt *SUCH* a sense of accomplishment, because LOOK at all that lawn I mowed!

Also, my sisters and I called my dad "Pop" or "Poppy" because when I was little, I couldn't say "Dad" or "Daddy". My parents tried to teach me, and when I started to speak, I'd see my dad coming, my eyes would light up, and I'd shriek "DOGGY!!!".


@wee_ramekin That jelly song is so cute. My dad isn't here anymore either, and ugh I've just been really missing him lately. So so much.

My dad was a musician, too, and he lived in another state. He would record himself on a tape player singing and playing his guitar and send me the tapes. I only have two of the tapes anymore, and I'm going to find someone who can make CD/digital copies because I don't have a tape player anymore!


@wee_ramekin your dad sounds so wonderful. No wonder you miss him. And, wee little wee_ramekin sounds just precious.


@wee_ramekin I'm glad you started this because I was wanting to ask for some help in this regard, but didn't want to bring the party down (which you did not do at all, with your eloquent comment). I lost my dad suddenly last month and need some ideas on how to spend Sunday. My normal "therapy" is going for a hike, but I think all the little kids and dads frolicking on my standard trails would be too much. My instinct is to sit on the couch and eat nachos and alternate between crying jags and episodes of Game of Thrones (I have already seen/read it, so I know it seems an odd choice, but it sounds appropriately self-torturous to me right now). But part of me thinks I should do something at least a bit in honor of Dad, instead of just in mourning of him, or I will feel negligent. If you or anyone has any ideas for how to balance these, I would appreciate it. xoooo so hard to you and anyone else who has a dad-shaped heart hole, they are awful.


@Luftyer I tried to figure that out both February and May, because in Feb was the one-year anniversary of my best friend dying and then May was her birthday (she would have turned 24), and both times (after a crying jag at my desk) I ended up doing something that really would have annoyed her--in one case, watching a movie she hated, and in another, getting Mexican food for dinner and eating all the beans. That was the kind of relationship we had so it felt right and made me laugh. I don't know if that would work for how you and your dad were, but that's how I did it, and will probably continue to do it every year around those times.


@Luftyer I know that in the years immediately following my dad's death, I'd often find myself in a church, graveyard or other 'sacred' space sometimes, where I'd just sit and not think about much. I haven't been to church since I was five, nor do I like most of the things that organized religion stands for, but there is something calming and sacred - to me - about churches. The silence there is heavier, somehow. I'd go, sit in a pew, cry a little, think about my dad, zone out, talk to him in my head...pretty much anything I wanted to do.

Additionally, I have three sisters, and I find that talking with them about our shared memories of him is one of the most lovely, upbeat things to do. Also, my dad had a lot of siblings, so talking with my aunts, uncles and cousins about him brought some stories to light that I'd never heard before. It's always interesting to hear about the sides of him that other people saw.

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. It gets better, but there probably won't ever be a time when he's not just under the surface of your thoughts. My dad killed himself in 2004, and though it's been 8 years now, I still find myself tearing up on a regular basis when I'm driving and have let my mind wander.


When I was 2, and my dad was doing laundry, I decided to help him by putting my shitty diaper in the dryer and then turned on a cycle. Poor, longsuffering man. He cleaned it up without a grumble. Which...can you imagine the Ask A Clean Person edition of THAT one?


Getting to see the strong relationship between my husband and our daughter is one of the biggest joys of my life. He is so good with her, staying steady and reassuring in her times of crisis, pulling the best out of her when she wants to coast and crumple, playing silly games with her so she can revel in being a kid. It gives me hope that through all this, she's realizing "This is what a man is supposed to be like," and taking notes so she'll find someone just as wonderful some day.


@Bittersweet I love that. I really want to have a baby in the next couple years, and I know my husband will be such an amazing dad.


I love this.

Also, MIB on TAL for last year's Father's Day show.



I am disappointed that David didn't talk about being a dad to Koko.


I always just love these posts so much. So many feelings from this one though. I just miss my dad so much, and I'm just sitting here crying. And my stepdad's birthday and father's day are always on the same day/weekend and he is just awful and treated me horribly growing up, and I have to go to his birthday/father's day stuff and act happy when inside I am just missing my real dad so much and wish I could talk to him one more time.


say "just" again.


@teebs Brosephine, when you're missing a dad, all logical syntax goes out the window. It's okay [*hugs*].


@teebsv I'm sorry :(
I don't know what your situation is,* but if there's no way to get out of it, can you find ways to make it bearable? This sounds totally silly and juvenile, but all I did for mother's day was send my mom a text that said "happy mothers day" - I'm sure she didn't notice the lack of capitalization or exclamation marks, but it made me feel better to not be enthusiastic or sincere about it. Maybe if you're committed to going this year, you can find a way to establish that this is the last year you're coming? I don't know... I have no sense that I owe my parents anything, so maybe I am coldhearted, but...

*I also understand when circumstances make it impossible to avoid these things. I'd probably still be estranged from my mom except that I lost my job and moved in with her sister.


oh man, tiny squishy perfect baby with doting dad! I think I just spontaneously ovulated.




@wee_ramekin The cake!!!


Every single Father's day, I wonder if this will be the year I start to love my father. I desperately wish I knew what it was like to feel the kind of love other people feel for and from their parents. You'll never hear the end of this, you lucky people, but I'm gonna say it again - you don't know how lucky you are.


@MalPal Internet hug from a stranger? I'm sorry - it totally fucking sucks that you don't have that and you should have that. I'm sorry.


I maybe love my father a little more each year, but it may only because I increasingly hate my mother. Internet daps in solidarity.

It wasn't until I got a really good therapist that I realized the close relationship my sister and I have formed isn't just about shared shitty experience, it's that she's my parental figure and always has been. I should just call her.


My dad has given me over the years: the strength to stand up for myself, a love of books, a love of sports, a love of politics, and a love of thinking. He has done so many, many things for me over the years and formed me in so many ways which I cannot even begin to describe. But if you were to stop him on the street he would probably say he taught me to throw a fastball and squash bugs.


tears. so many tears.

my dad is working from home today. i think i'm going to go give him a hug.


These photosets always make me so nostalgic for Brooklyn.


@LooseBaggyMonster I know what you mean. Yeah, I have a great dad and everything, but Jay and Max are just down the street from my old job! I loved working in that neighborhood.

Sugar Kane's Hip Flask

Ah, this made me so sad but in a good way? I miss my dad (and my granddad) now...although if I were at home, I'd be hiding in my bedroom and avoiding having conversations with him but still. Snaps for all the nice dads out there!


Hoooooo nelly. Really feeling those 4000 km between me and my dad right now.

Feminist Killjoy

these are WONDERFUL, thank you!


Also thanks, Hairpin. I just seriously alarmed my father by calling him in tears and squeaking out "You're such a good dad! I miss you so much!" *hic* "Thank you" *SOOOOBBBBBB* "Daddder-Doo I love you!" *sob sob sobsobsob*

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Two things that are not related to each other:

1- I love Taran Killam so much and I wish I could marry him but he is spoken for.

2- My dad is currently asleep in front of the TV, happy that he gets to watch soccer this weekend (both on TV and in person thanks to a belated birthday gift), and totally okay with the fact that I'm wearing my Germany T-shirt right now.
Once when I was maybe 3 or 4, my dad was helping me get dressed for preschool, and accidentally scratched me while helping me put my tights on (I think they were the kind with the little hearts embroidered on them, did anyone else have those? White tights with pink hearts?) and all I remember is that I cried and cried, and he didn't know what to do, and he tried to calm me down and brought me all the way to preschool, still howling. But he knew that the ladies who ran my preschool were better at cleaning up and putting band-aids on things. He kind of stood by and waited until I had stopped crying before he left me, even though he had to go to work. So, yeah, I love my dad.

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He kind of stood by and waited until I had stopped crying before he left me, even though he had to go to work. So, yeah,hgh expectations


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