Monday, May 7, 2012


Text Me Possibly

"I happen to love long conversations on the telephone, probably because I think I’m pretty great at it – I’m highly verbal, thrilled by the joust and parry of a good debate, and the pure audio allows me to stop worrying about stupid stuff like how I look in this dress, and what your eyes are staring at right now OMG there is something in my nose."
—Salon's lovely Sarah Hepola is insane.

113 Comments / Post A Comment

Reginal T. Squirge

I like/miss phone calls, too! But I am also completely insane and an audiophile.


First time I ever watched this and I never knew that he was being gay at the end a few years later I realize that I'm gay :D@m


"accouterments" ACCOUTERMENTS???!!!


@iceberg also I am terrrrible on the phone.


@iceberg does she pronounce it a-cooter-mints?


@iceberg According to the dictionary, that is an acceptable alternative spelling. Apparently, no one ever told the dictionary that THAT IS STUPID.

I like the phone though.

And yes, I believe you HAVE to pronounce that spelling "a-cooter-mints."


Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad.


@beeline96 I'm pretty sure if anyone walked up to me and asked for my number and then said that I would run fleeing in the other direction, right?

The end of the video is priceless, however.

The Lady of Shalott

Whatever, I welcome any opportunity to TALK MORE into my life. I talked to my boyfriend for forty-five minutes yesterday and we probably traded fifty texts. The day that I don't text/email/phone my best friend is a RARE ONE. I just...they're all just different forms of communication and I don't think they're all that different. It's just trading information, right? Granted, it's mostly useless information, but...that's life, man!

People who love to talk on the phone will continue to talk on the phone. People who hate it will not. But regardless, everyone should learn GOOD PHONE MANNERS because...well, you just should.


@The Lady of Shalott Sometimes I can't remember if I have had a conversation with my bff over the phone, text, or IM.

However, I haaaaaaaaaaate talking on the phone. I hate calling people the worst. I knew I really really loved my boyfriend when I would call him with only joy in my heart, no anxiety.

I'm a textual creature, really.

(Edit: I have a lovely phone manner. I was a receptionist for years and DAMN good at it, and everyone commented at my lovely phone manner. I just hate it. A lot.)


Phone conversations are the worst. Methods of communication, in order:

1. Talking in person
2. Talking on the phone, <30 seconds
2. Texting
3. Actual letters
4. Emails
5. Smoke signals
6. Using sensitive parts of one's anatomy to manipulate a rusty nail, writing your message on a large piece of slate
5. Talking on the phone, >30 seconds.


@Probs one day I'll be able to successfully edit comments from my phone, but not today.


@Probs It is truly amazing just how terrible phones are for talking. Not amazing, wrong word; baffling, that's the one.

I love talking--hell I like public speaking--I am "highly verbal" but as it turns out with out the comfortable delay of text I need/need-to-see body language to be even vaguely functional.

though my list is more like
1. talking
2. instant messaging
3. forums
4. emails
5. texting
6. your 6
80bajillion. any phone


@Onymous yeah. Body language makes talking work for me. Even just a face. It's a struggle to pay attention to people over the phone.


When I started dating my now boyfriend, he asked me "Should I be calling you." I said, "If you ever call me, I'll never talk to you again." I hate the phone. That's what texting's for.

Faintly Macabre

@Slutface A guy I went on a date with last week called me last night. IGNORE. I don't even like talking to my closest friends on the phone, let alone guys I barely know. (I did text him, though--I'm not quite that horrible.)


Nonrelated: "Call Me Maeby" would be a good title for the song in a Arrested Development musical where the titular character comes clean about not being a wheelchair-bound infirm named Surely Funke.


@applestoapples Whenever I hear that song, I always picture Maeby saying it, in one of those scenes where she goes 'Marry me!' maybe as a follow-up, like, "This is crazy! Call me Maeby."


@applestoapples An Airplane joke nested inside an Arrested Development joke? Come on!! Props to you.

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

A girl ive been texting the past few days quoted nick and norah's infinite playlist at me and idk what to do with this. maybe is she said it it would have been better???

Reginal T. Squirge

"idk what to do with this"

You should probably stop hanging out where the high school girls hang out.

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter shes older than meeeeeeeee

Lily Rowan

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood Is she older than 25?

Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood

@Lily Rowan Year older than me. im shocked too.

Lily Rowan

@Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood But isn't that movie for You Kids Today? I don't know, but it seems kind of normal?


IDK, my BFF Jill?


I love talking on the phone mainly because whenever I have IM conversations I feel like whoever I'm conversing with isn't really paying attention to me. IM is still pretty much my primary method of communication with most of my friends but I still prefer phone conversation/talking in person.
That said I hate voicemail and I never never leave it which drives my parents insane. I'm not sure why I hate it so much, I think it's because I normally call because I'm bored or to ask a dumb question and it never seems worth leaving a voicemail.


Man, I hate the 'I call someone, they don't answer but text me back 10 seconds later' move. It's so obviously "UGH WHAT? Leave me alone/make it quick/enough with the idle chitchat."

I always answer when the phone rings, even if I don't recognize the number. VOICEMAILS, however, are genuinely scary. I liked what that one girl said about it being weirdly intimate, like they wrote a song for you. But also, you just have zero control over whatever conversational bomb they may/may not be leaving. That's why I answer the phone, I'd rather be involved in the conversation then let someone just run rampant and unpredictable all over my voice-mail.


@Marzipan I do this when someone calls when I'm at work and can't answer or in a meeting, or on the train, or in the car -- all of the places where I can't answer the phone but can text. It's a "can I answer something quick for you or do I need to call back later" thing.


@Marzipan That's so funny. I prefer voicemail b/c I can process whatever bomb may be dropped before I must respond.


@Marzipan right now I haven't even set up my voice mail and it's working quite well for me because I procrastinate so fucking hard on checking it/call the person back before checking it anyway.

If I do eventually set it up (I mean, ugh I'm paying for it???) my message may be "Hi you've reached RH&C! do not leave me a voice mail, as I will not listen to it. Text me if you must. I'll call you back! xoxo"


Phones are awesome. I remember when I was like, I dunno, 12? I had this book of Shakespeare sonnets, and this girl I liked would call me just to talk, and I'd be like "OH HEY! I wrote a poem for you!" and just read her a few lines from one of the Shakespeare sonnets.

That is a thing which is way less smooth with smart phones. "Hold up, lemme google a poem, cut and paste it into whatever, and change shit into emoji!". Ugh, and then they google it and they're like "Yo, you didn't write that. Shakespeare did."

(Note: I only pretend to have written poems which I very obviously didn't write. I mean, no 12 year old girl thought I wrote "When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see". It's just fun to pretend.)

Reginal T. Squirge

LOL. You gotta try and throw them off the scent a little bit. Go with some Eliot or Yeats or something. By reading Shakespeare sonnets as your own, you might as well have said, "Girl... When I'm alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall..."

Mad as a Hatter!

@leon.saintjean Quote Keats to me and I am putty in your hands


@ReginalTSquirge@twitter Man, if someone quoted Yeats to me even if they were trying to pass it off as their own, I would be in love with them forever.

Emma Peel

I cannot escape this song... and I no longer want to.

Also, I have to talk on the phone all the time for my job, so I guess I hate it less than other people (even though I still hate cold-calling)? I dunno, one of my best college friends and I still have two-hour phone marathons. (But it is usually me calling her, so.) I just think you catch up with people so much better on the phone than via Facebook/text/email/gchat.

Also, voicemails: Get Google Voice. Thank me later.

Edith Zimmerman

@Emma Peel Sometimes I forget there is music other than "Call Me Maybe."

Emma Peel

@Edith Zimmerman I actively hunted for it on the radio and COULDN'T FIND IT over the weekend. Top 40 station, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.


@Edith Zimmerman I got a summer mix CD from a friend with "Call Me Maybe" on it, and I have no idea what other songs are on there.


@Emma Peel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W8wMrqHr4U

Mildly funny, but totally worth it for "but I don't care cause, this song's amaziiing."

Faintly Macabre

@Edith Zimmerman My friend and I have texted each other the lyrics about ten times in the past week. And played it on repeat when we were together. I think we've been drugged.

The Lady of Shalott

@Edith Zimmerman Edith, before you came into my life I missed you so bad.


@Edith Zimmerman I wish I had more thumbs for this comment.


@crookedlegs I LAUGHED HARD.

elysian fields

"I’m highly verbal"
Um, so am I, and so are, I'd wager, many people who also hate talking on the phone. What does that have to do with anything?


Is this a Disney Channel child? Do we know who she is? Should we?


@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher She's an FOB (Friend of Bieber).

Holden Cauliflower

And a Canadian! Which is probably implied by "friend of Bieber," now that I think of it.


@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher She's, like, 26. Bieber signed her and brought her out of relative Canadian popstar obscurity, but apparently she's been doing her thing for awhile?

Holden Cauliflower

She was on Canadial Idol, according to Wikipedia. So...Canadian Idol is apparently a thing.


@Holden Cauliflower Fun Fact: The first Canadian Idol was a moose who knew how to spin plates and whistle "God Bless The Queen" while simultaneously liking hockey.

The Lady of Shalott

@Holden Cauliflower Well...not any more. I mean, it hasn't been on the air for like five years or something.

Holden Cauliflower

Maybe I'm thinking of the wrong season, but I'm pretty sure second runner up was a beaver coincidentally named "Tim Horton" that could eat its weight in maple syrup. Whilst simultaneously liking hockey.


@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher She also has bangs. And brown hair. I don't think there's any more we need to know about this person. Except, maybe, if listening to that song on repeat forever cures cancer, but I am on my way to finding that out for myself.



@all I feel so much more enlightened now! Canadian Idol! Friends Of Bieber! Thanks, commentariat. :)

I smell burnt toast

@Holden Cauliflower Guys, is this where I can confess that when Canadian Idol first came into being, I was really into it? I know.


@crookedlegs Wait, so she's ten years older than she looks? Ten dollars (CAD) says that Justin Bieber is actually 37.

Two-Headed Girl

@I smell burnt toast Somewhere in the depths of my closet, there's an "I ♥ Kalan" trucker hat that my ninth grade BFF and I had made at the mall. Which is to say...I get it.


@Holden Cauliflower But did it know how to make poutein?


@whateverlolawants Poutine*

This is my new username

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Oh so was I. When I saw that I was like why is Carly from Canadian Idol on the hairpin? I had no idea she was becoming a thing these days. Canadian Idol was fun, it kind had a sweet and silliness vibe to it which made me like it much better than American Idol.

This is my new username

@I smell burnt toast ughh my previous comment was meant for you, but I fail at replying apparently. I blame Monday.


@crookedlegs: Up here in Canada we were all jumping around to 'Call me, Maybe" ... six months ago? Long enough ago that we're looking at all the American buzzy "This song is AMAZING" reaction and feeling nostalgia for that first rush of song-high and also maybe a bit smug?

The Lady of Shalott

@kinbarichan I was addicted to this song like four months ago, and then I came back to the States and everyone is like "HEY CHECK THIS SONG OUT" and I'm like FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I AM ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF A TREND!!!!

elysian fields

Also: what about brain cancer from holding your phone to your ear for too long?? Hmmmmmmmm?


@elysian fields I worry about this ALL THE TIME.


Jess, don't even worry, humans are going to be immortal by 2026.


@melis can i get that in writing? i'd really love a free pass to smoke all the things.


@redheaded&crazie I regularly use the Singularity as an excuse to continue smoking.


@elysian fields Don't worry about getting brain cancer from your cell phone! The New England Journal of Medicine featured a great article showing that cell phones do not lead to increased incidence of brain tumors. In fact, the data showed that the habitual cell phone users had lower incidence of brain cancer (not statistically significant, obvs). If you are worried about getting cancer from radiation then you should worry about the sun!


I am an introvert who is also cripplingly shy, and I will take sitting in a crowded room with people I don't know over having to talk to someone I don't know on the phone. Every single time.

Even people I know well. My best friend and I have talked on the phone maybe twice in four years, but we text and IM all the time. And it's not about actually talking and using your words, about technology eroding human communication or whatever bullshit aged technophobes have dreamed up. I can do that in person, extremely well. Give me the right subject and the right people and have fun shutting me up.

And for that matter, I can do it in text -- have you read some of my comments on this website?? I'm highly verbal, too, but something about the phone magnifies my anxiety tenfold. No thank you.


@camanda YES, all of this. My least favorite things about talking on the phone are 1) there are no visual cues to work with, and 2) it's hard to have a comfortable silence on the phone. When you're with someone in person, you can sit quietly together if you want to, but on the phone there's this pressure to TALK TALK TALK nonstop.


@werewolfbarmitzvah Exactly! Visual cues are so important. Which is one of those things that gets lost in texting, too. Humor is my main way of breaking the ice with people/moving a conversation along, and I get a lot more out of a person's face than I do out of a "hahaha" in a text or a forced laugh on the phone.

Personally, as well, I'm very insecure about my voice -- it's very deep for a lady -- and I feel like I work better as a whole package than I do as a disembodied voice when I have to make some kind of impression on someone.


@werewolfbarmitzvah No visual clues! Argh. I recently had a scholarship interview over the phone and it was probably the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done in my life, especially because the line kept cutting out midway through me speaking.

Holden Cauliflower

I vastly prefer the Bieber & assorted Disney kids BFF lipsync party version of this music video. But mostly because the song feels so much more age-appropriate for Selena Gomez and her beau than the 27-year-old who actually sings it.


@Holden Cauliflower YES. That is so so much better. As evidenced above, I totally thought the girl who sings this was one of the Disney Channel tweens.

Also, can we maybe (maeby) talk about the lyric "Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad"? IT MAKES NO SENSE.

Holden Cauliflower

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
It's creepy! It makes no sense but is also creepy (in the way that I can easily imagine Casey Affleck saying it in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford which is pretty much my life-standard for judging levels of CREEP) which is just...WHY?


@Holden Cauliflower

This video is so much better! For some reason it makes me happy to see a bunch of absurdly famous and wealthy teenagers just hanging out and goofing around exactly like real 15 year olds do. The normal kids probably aren't doing so in an empty McMansion but still! I find this video really charming.

Tuna Surprise

I get a panic attack watching that video. I just want to bust onto the set and tow that Mustang away from those young whippersnappers. But by all means, kids, lather up that VW Jetta in the background.


In related news, Blondie! http://youtu.be/StKVS0eI85I

Okay, not "news," per se. But that song started playing on Pandora while I was reading these comments, and I wanted to share.


@xx-xx-xx I would have gone with something more like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjwjl8ARLqA as I am clearly a connoisseur of the finer things.

Faintly Macabre

Now I'm imagining the poor male model spending the rest of his life having people force their number on him and saying, "Call me, maybe!"


@Faintly Macabre Life is tough when you've got abs like that.


@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher He looks like he doesn't eat carbs which must suck so much! I have no idea how much that would suck, but I feel for him.

fondue with cheddar

My boyfriend was adorable about asking me for my number. He was going to be doing some work on the roof (he was my landlord's son) and thought he might need to anchor his ladder on the radiator in my living room. Anyway, he pulled out his phone to ask for my number, but in the middle of asking for it he realized he couldn't have a valid reason to ask for it. He said, "Let me have your number because...um...justgimmeyournumber!" It was so cute. :)


@jen325 Mine asked for my number while giving me a lift (ride of shame) to my bus stop, and I said something along the lines of "It's okay, you don't have to ask for my number." and he kind of stammered that he really *did* want to call me though!

And then I felt like an asshole for assuming it was just a one night stand and I gave him my number.

fondue with cheddar

@Brunhilde Haha, you're both adorable. :)


This sentence made me feel amazing about my life skillZ,

"I may be worthless with crop rotation, but I’d like to see a pioneer woman take a left-hand turn at a busy intersection while reading a suggestive text from the guy who is currently making her heart pound."

Take that farmers!


The only period in my life when I have enjoyed speaking on the phone was a few months when I was 13. My then-best friend and I would have long, drawn-out conversations pretending that famous people had just dropped by. "Yeah, so for the geography homework we have to do the questions on page 43. Oh and before you go, Britney Spears just rang the doorbell, you wanna speak to her?"


@Decca My best friend and I would host a talk show over the phone where we would interview famous people (except they usually weren't actually famous people, they were anime characters and actors who had been in Rent).


I love this song like I still love coca-cola and twinkies. I DARE YOU TO JUDGE ME.


@cardiganboots Naw, I love it too. I just really enjoy songs that capture that giddy "new crush!" feeling.

Two-Headed Girl

Phone call? I think you mean iMessage.

The only people I call are my mother and the bank. Because I can't text either of them. Phone conversations stress me out (see: the only people ever call are my mom and the bank.)


Did I miss it in the comments or does nobody else UTTERLY LOVE the hilarious ending of this video??


@Jade the ending makes the video! The ending makes the song.


Are any other Canadians totally confused about how Call Me Maybe has blown up in the US? The song...is not that great. And also fairly old! :(


@konata It is objectively terrible.

Flora Poste

@konata The US and Europe! Carly Rae Jepsen, transcending cultural boundaries.

Holden Cauliflower

It really is because of Bieber - he got obsessed with the song a few months ago and tweeted about it a lot before signing her to his US label and making his own DIY music video and turning it into a phenomenon down here.



Apparently you have a metal plate in your head blocking the subliminal messaging in this song. Because I cannot stop listening to it, despite all that reason and honor tells me. I don't even like Justin Bieber or anything. I don't even think I've heard a Justin Bieber song. But "Call Me Maybe" is making me feel things about a pop song that I haven't felt since "Toxic" came out.


I hate calling strangers to make appointments. But I love talking to my friends/sister/mom for hours. HOURS. I have a landline (yeah, I know) and we will talk until the battery goes dead. Texting/IM/email are all great ways to keep in touch with people, but for me, nothing beats a good old-fashioned telephone conversation.


I like long phone calls for a few friends, and I am not afraid to call a business or person to ask a specific question. Other people, however, I find it hard to speak with on the phone, even if we've been buddies for a decade and can spend hours together in person.

I have to make a lot of calls at work, and I get a little nervous before sometimes, but it's just b/c I worry about someone being weird. I used to make calls for political campaigns, so that's probably part of it. You get some crazy responses on those.


I stopped talking on the phone at least five years ago when I began go notice I was getting a rash on the side of my face that I held the phone on. I started getting disgusted at the end of the conversation when the phone was all hot, and my cheek was all sweaty, dreading the next phone call. I must have spent $500 on different headphones, headsets, bluetooth devices, etc, none of which were working for me at the time. I still have them lying around! Phones have gotten better since then, and now I talk now and then (with headphones on), if it seems like a little humanity is called for. But I really don't miss talking on the phone. I hate that hot ear feeling, and that feeling that I have to stay still for the duration of the call. Plus, maybe this is just me, but damned if most of my long phone calls were entirely fruitless, insecure, desperate moments back then. I sort of don't want to be reminded of all that angst. Weird, huh? I don't remember many happy phone calls. Skype, yes, phone calls, no.


This is slightly off topic but...I don't mean to be a traitor to my generation, but I think all this anxiety over our phones is ridiculous. I 100% believe a person can dislike talking on the phone--there have been people like that since there were phones. But this whole idea that Facebook and Words with Friends are stressing people out is crazy to me. That stuff should be secondary to your life! Facebook should not be making you feel bad about yourself!


I would say that there is one really gigantic reason that I don't really like talking on the phone: because no one has a landline anymore, and cell phone reception is still crap in a lot of places (for example, new york city), most of the time I can't have a decent conversation on the phone. It completely ruins conversational flow to have to say "hello? hello? are you still there?" every few minutes.



How the fuck is it possible that I live in the Bay Area and can't get cell reception in my own house? I actually broke down and got a landline last month so people could reach me in a real middle-of-the-night emergency and so I could call people without having to put on slippers and walk to the sidewalk. I'm not in fucking Liberia here. Zero bars!


can you ever make it work between a person who prefers calling and a person who prefers texting?!

(I know i'm being melodramatic - BUT CAN YOU?!)


@redheaded&crazie Only if you can compromise via messenger pigeons


@redheaded&crazie I made my BF move back to the city because I got tired of the phone calls. That might even be the main reason I swore off the phone, come to think of it -- living on the phone for over two years, ugh! Now that we live together, when he tries to chat on the phone with me, I just tell him to come home and talk to me in person. What did he move back to the city with me for, to talk on the phone?? ha. He thinks I'm amusing.

emily eileen

She is trying way too hard for someone with such hot bandmates.

Ahh, just saw the end. So glad I waited through all the buffering.

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