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Friday, May 11, 2012

354

Moms

Brenda

“My daughter is now 36, and lives in San Francisco. I remember when she sold Girl Scout cookies door to door. Nobody ever really bought them. But she never gave up.”

To celebrate Mother’s Day, we talked with 20 moms during an overcast, leafy walk through Brooklyn. We asked them to describe memorable moments of their motherhood.

For the moms in all of us. 

 

Mary

“When they’re one and you see them walk, that’s great. When they’re three and they enter pre-school, that’s great too. Kids’ lives come into focus over the years.”

 

Tiffany & Cassius

“Memorable moments — Cassius is only two, but has so many. He counts to 20 already.”

 

Hooks, Xavier & Mariah

“I had homebirths for both of them. After the younger came out, Hooks, two and a half at the time, was rubbing his new brother’s head and singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. Xavier gets happy whenever he hears that song.”

 

Maggie 

“My son accidentally locked himself in a room when he was five. He freaked. I can’t recall how I opened the door. We went out for milkshakes.”

 

Oliver & Arron

“Nothing can describe the second your child sees you, and lights up.”

 

Rebecca & Noah

“Noah is his own superhero. He’s Super Noah.”

 

Evon

“I’m proud of my grandson’s successful exams. He just won scholarships for college.”

 

Millicent & Quinn

“As soon as I stopped playing with dolls I wanted a baby. I was thrilled to death when Quinn’s dad was born.”

 

Susan & Falco

“I’m a mom to dogs.”

 

Nadine

“If I could do it all over, I’m not sure I’d have kids. I come from a culture where kids respect and cherish mothers. America has different values. It’s too distracted.”

 

Nadia, Greg & Bradley

“Bradley is a quiet baby. But a few months ago, he made a loud Incredible Hulk-like sound from across the room. I realized another person is here. It’s not just about me and my husband now.”

 

Maria

“I still remember when I first felt my daughter’s hand cup my neck. The unconditional love; the total trust. Her breath always smelled nice too.”

 

Gwen

“In the '70s my husband and I were renovating our house on Union Street. Our son, four years old, was playing downstairs. Suddenly we heard hammerblows. We found a huge hole in the newly painted front hall, and asked him what he was doing. He said: ‘Looking for spiders.’”

 

Juliana

“I live again through my son — my first year, second year, third year, and so on. Growing older and having youth follow makes life sweet.”

 

Mabis

“Every day my daughter tells me I’m her best friend.”

 

Carol

“Back when my son was three I took him to Downtown Brooklyn. He pointed to a sign, and said ‘The – King’s – Store.' I had no idea he could read.”

 

Jocelyn & Ann

“The other night my daughter played a piece of music on the piano — some riff on Puff, the Magic Dragon — and it was so beautiful. I’m going to use it as background music for a slideshow about my own mom’s death.”

 

Mary & Willem

“As a mother, you’re young and ambitious, and you have aspirations. But as a grandmother you see these things aren’t as important as the little being in your care. You learn how quickly it goes by. How fleeting it all is.”

 

Roberta

“Each Mother’s Day my kids bring me flowers and take me to dinner.”

 

Jon Cotner and Claire Hamilton have made other slideshows based on affectionate nicknames and holiday wishes. Jon is coauthor of Ten Walks/Two Talks. Stay in touch with them here.

354 Comments / Post A Comment

lobsterhug

I want that lady's dog. I would be a great mother to it.

AniaGosia

@lobsterhug Yeah for being a dog mom! I love my little dog so intensely - I've had her since she was a pup and she totally my baby. (Her pic is on pinpets! Everyone post your pets on pinpets so I can see them!)

lobsterhug

@AniaGosia Right now I just have a cat (she is also on pinpets!), but hopefully I'll have a big enough place for a dog someday. That one in the picture is my favorite type of dog. So pretty! So furry!

iceberg

@AniaGosia Link to Pinpets please!

lobsterhug

@iceberg Here it is: http://pinpets.tumblr.com/

iceberg

@lobsterhug BEST tumblr ever thank you I know what to do with my afternoon now!

MoxyCrimeFighter

@AniaGosia How do I submit?! (I am bad at tumblr.)

Speaking of cake, I have cake

@lobsterhug This is amazing! I wish I had a pet so I could submit!

TLaforest

@lobsterhug it's a bernese mountain dog! They are great dogs, you should totally get one

terrific

I miss my mom! Even though I just saw her last weekend. She lives seven states away! I'm an addict!

frigwiggin

@terrific I miss my mom too! She lives two and a half (or one and a half? do I count the state she lives in?) states away, but since that half is half of California, it's a long drive.

New Commenter Name

Aargh! Does anyone have a tissue? The hairpin in my eye is making them water!

DH@twitter

Super Noah!

lobsterhug

@DH@twitter That is the cutest. Also, the baby Hulk. If I have children and they do not display super hero tendencies, I will be so disappointed.

DH@twitter

@lobsterhug

Word. My mom was disappointed when I turned out to be an atheist; I would be disappointed if my kid turned out to be totally indifferent to Batman cartoons.

"I don't KNOW, MOM, I just don't care about whether Batman Beyond is better than Young Justice! God, leave me alone!"

"Leave you alone? I'm considering disowning you, young lady!"

New Commenter Name

@lobsterhug
I think all kids have superhero tendencies...? When my 8 year old was younger she used to walk around with her blanket around her neck saying it was her cape and that she was Super Elaina and the cape made her fly.

sox
sox

@DH@twitter I have an ongoing fear that my future child will be Alex P. Keaton.

DH@twitter

@sox

CHILLING.

CurlsMcGirlypants

@DH@twitter Oh man whoa, you totally just brought back a great memory for me. When I was a little girl, my mom bought me a bat man cape (it was that kind that was sewn onto the mask--it had pointy ears and everything!). I LOVED THAT THING. I pretended to be batman until I couldn't fit the mask/hood thing onto my head anymore.

Gilgongo

@CurlsMcGirlypants I just bought my daughter a superhero cape (I got to design it, sort of, with her initial on it) and mask and she totally didn't care. She's only 2, but STILL! I'm also slightly worried that she'll not want to discuss the best super power to have or who's the best batman or that she'll turn into Alex P. Keaton. But she's pretty cool and likes to talk about water a lot (like Bruce Lee!), so I'm not TOO worried.

playingpossum

@DH@twitter My son has spina bifida. When he was about 8 he wanted to change his name to Sonic (the Hedgehog) so he could run really fast. He still has super-hero tendencies but he is now glad his name isn't Sonic.

honeybunchesofoats

this is not helping my baby fever

Judith Slutler

@honeybunchesofoats Right? Augh.

Cat named Virtute

@honeybunchesofoats This is not helping the baby fever I have never had or wanted! The thing about living again through your kid just got me right in the Feelings.

The Widow Muspratt

@honeybunchesofoats This is not helping my dog fever. I want to be a mother to dogs!

EpWs

@akapocalypse PUPPIES PLEASE
(But seriously would you come deal with this puppy I'm taking care of right now? He is adorable/a holy terror.)

unfortumissy

@akapocalypse my fiance and I are proud dog parents, and it's the best. We want babies, too, but are a little worried we might always love our dog more...?

EternalFootwoman

@honeybunchesofoats I know! I'm in the waffling stage right now. One day I decide I don't want kids, the next day I think I'll die if I don't have kids. Guess which day today is.

dtowngirl

Ah, I remember the mother's day (five years ago?) when my mom said she wishes she had never gotten married or had kids. Memories... I hope this mother's day proves to be just as delightful.

New Commenter Name

@dtowngirl
Mean moms suck.

Ten Thousand Buckets

@dtowngirl The last mother's day I participated in, I was 5 or 6. I had been making a diorama with a doll I thought resembled my mother and because I realized it was mother's day, I scrawled "Happy Moms Day" on the side and presented it to her. She took one look at it, said "I don't do mother's day," and handed it back to me. I haven't given her anything since.

Mothers are still people, and sometimes people are just horrible.

New Commenter Name

....speaking from experience

PistolPackinMama

@dtowngirl Oh gosh, I am so sorry. I like my mom, and she likes us. She does/did say she thinks she would have enjoyed being (and made an excellent) nun. And even I know she's glad she had us, it still stings a little bit. I am sorry your mom said that to your face. That's horrible.

dtowngirl

@Curiouser and curiouser
Yeah. When I saw my mom two weeks ago at another family event, she told me I was throwing my life away because I'm not married to a man and have I no children (at the ripe old age of 29). Then she told my partner that she should break up with me so I could find a man. But I still can't bring myself to ignore her on mother's day. But I do have a rule to walk out on her as soon as she is horrible (which I used two weeks ago, and I'll use again if I need to).

@Ten Thousand Buckets
I kind of wish my mom would say no to mother's day. It won't happen, though.

EpWs

@dtowngirl @PPM @Curiouser @10k Buckets GUYS, I am so sad that your moms are not the best. (Some of them sound like the worst.) I want to share my mom with you, she's pretty awesome. (My grandma's kind of terrible though.)

PistolPackinMama

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Oh, no. My mom IS the best. She really is. I think it's just... every mom has Their Thing, and that is hers. She gave up a lot to be married with kids. But, she isn't resentful, really, and I have a thorough appreciation for what moms have to go through sometimes, and how important it is to support women in all their aspirations so they don't feel like by having one thing they absolutely must lose another.

I guess my point is, even when you know your mom is awesome, you realize they could have done different things and been happy, and it does make you go "urk... but what about me!"

I'd share my mom, too. Actually, my parents adopt all our friends. So, they share themselves, really. You just have to come to dinner once or twice. So. My parents' house. Saturday. My dad's retirement BBQ! Be there!

EpWs

@PistolPackinMama I WILL BE THERE. Happy retirement to your dad! BBQs are the best way to celebrate everything!

PistolPackinMama

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher He was threatening to go down to the skyway with a folding chair and coffee cup to wave at his colleagues as they went to work today.

Hurr hurr hurr. I wish he'd done it.

And... now I have to persuade him he wants a Master's in History...

dtowngirl

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Aw, thanks! I did have a rockin' grandma who lived with us for a long time, and I'm seriously grateful to her every single day. She truly demonstrated unconditional love, and she is the reason my siblings and I turned out to be decent people (if I do say so myself).

EpWs

@PistolPackinMama That is just fantastic. Your parents sound legit awesome.

Ten Thousand Buckets

@dtowngirl Not feeling obligated to buy things for somebody I am lukewarm about (at best) is really refreshing. I'm sure at this point in her life, with both kids long gone, she'd appreciate getting something from time to time, but... I don't really see any reason to start now. I loved her for years after that rejection, but it still stung like a bastard.

New Commenter Name

@PistolPackinMama your dad sounds awesome. He should have a beer though, instead of the coffee.

New Commenter Name

@dtowngirl
Same, my grandma is the best. She's still living, I'm sorry to hear yours is not.
With such a shit mom, and no dad, I don't know what kind of person I would have been without my grandparents.

Ten Thousand Buckets

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher My dad is the best, though. And my grandma is kind of crazy and loves to talk politics (we just agree with her at all times, because she'll never give it up and who wants to fight with a 90 year old woman?), but she's pretty great too. I guess it comes out even.

Definitely down for the BBQ at PPM's folk's place though.

ThundaCunt

@dtowngirl *sigh* sounds familiar!! LMAO! My mom sucks too! She divorced my father when i was about 14, and 14 is not a great age to learn your mother is a selfish, self-absorbed, horrible person who apparently was held together in some semblance of a loving mother by her husband. When he went, so did our childhood. (I have 5 sisters) and because I "look just like your fucking father" got the brunt of the abandonment!! Yay team "Bitches for Mothers!"

I have 3 kids now and I am so looking forward to homemade cards and bad breakfast made in bed!! I love my kiddos immeasurably!!

Equestrienne

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I too have an amazing mother and a grandmother whose heart might actually be smaller than that of the Grinch. We of course call her "Bunny".

redonion

@dtowngirl I have one of those mothers, but I had a live-saving grandma and a bunch of awesome aunts and it still stuns me to this day that they all share genes with my mom.

EpWs

@Equestrienne OF COURSE YOU DO.

OxfordComma

@dtowngirl : I just really want to hug you and then go out for margaritas and talk about why we'll never really understand why we are Not Enough for our moms.

...

But I think you're enough.

Just the way you are.

dtowngirl

@OxfordComma
You are seriously making me cry right now--thanks. If you're ever in Denver, margaritas and hugs are on me, forever.

OxfordComma

@dtowngirl : You're on, lady. xoxo

Pela

@dtowngirl My girlfriends and I are going to a bar Sunday that is doing bottomless mimosas, because our moms all suck. You're not alone. If you were in California, I'd invite you along. We're going to the beach afterward!

hugs from the internet xoxo

Judith Slutler

Best little boys in these stories:

Hooks
Gwen's son at age 4

SarahP

@Emmanuelle Cunt Hooks's smile just lit up my day.

sarah girl

@SarahP So proud of his little Cars DVD :)

Tuna Surprise

@SarahP
I love how Hooks couldn't resist holding up his Cars DVD for the camera. Too cute!!

raised amongst catalogs

@SarahP Yes, I basically logged in to say how much Hooks just slayed me.

Carrie Ann

@vanillawaif He rubbed his baby brother's head and sang to him when he was born. I'm pregnant right now. I keep thinking I'm done crying, and then it just starts again when I look at that picture. This whole column is not doing great things for my eye makeup situation.

ayo nicole

@Emmanuelle Cunt Mariah must be such a good mom.

EternalFootwoman

@Carrie Ann The best births are the ones where the older siblings are present, especially if the siblings are under seven. It is so magical and sweet to see their completely unselfconscious reactions.

Rrrowena

@EternalFootwoman Speaking as someone who was present for one sibling's home birth at age eleven, and in the house for the one who was born when I was six, I think the "charming" reaction I would have had as a kindergartener would have been "gross!" Because that was how I felt at age 11, when I was there watching, but at that point I was old enough to understand that mom thought we were having some touching family bonding moment and self-censor. I would rather have been in the living room watching Disney movies like I was the first time.

It was an excellent, "don't have kids any time soon, this is serious business" lesson, and not traumatizing or anything, but it was not magical at all. New babies are ugly, and funny colored and covered with that white stuff. And there are all these fluids. And poop. Because the baby is squishing everything. Watching your mom poop in front of a whole bunch of people is really deeply weird.

Myrtle

@SarahP I got all mushy at his beautiful smile! But then the story of him singing to his brother punched me right in teh Feelings.
Some people make that having kids stuff look easy. I'm sure it's not.
Lovely smiles and great stories, what a treat! Thank you!

Scandyhoovian

THAT DOG IS GORGEOUS. oh my god.

Ten Thousand Buckets

I understand Jocelyn's desire to incorporate generations into her slideshow, but.. Puff? Really?

slutberry

LOOKING FOR SPIDERS.

dtowngirl

@sniffadee Makes perfect sense to me. I should start looking for spiders with a hammer.

DickensianCat

@dtowngirl It's the only way. It's the only way.

Bittersweet

@dtowngirl Because sometimes rolled-up magazines just aren't enough.

meetapossum

Hooks? CASSIUS??

RK Fire

@meetapossum: I think that Cassius is an oddly awesome name... hmm.

meetapossum

@RK Fire But yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look.

Judith Slutler

@meetapossum I'm just gonna assume Hooks is named after bell hooks because how amazing would that be?

noReally

@meetapossum

Brooklandia

melis

@Emmanuelle Cunt Unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the Hooks.

Reginal T. Squirge

@melis Well done.

Passion Fruit

@Emmanuelle Cunt Hahaha, a much better inspiration. I thought it was after El Capitan. I was like, "Interesting, interesting, a Peter Pan reference..."

Gertrude

Mabis seems like the best. I am so excited to see my mom this weekend!!

SarahP

Millicent and Quinn! Look at them! Ughhhhh so adorable!

redheaded&crazy

@SarahP QUINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN i am dying.

EpWs

@SarahP I kid you not, that's the height difference between my boyfriend and my mom. Seeing them hug is the most awkward/adorable thing in the world.

anachronistique

@SarahP SERIOUSLY. And good on you, Quinn, hanging out with your grandma!

iceberg

@SarahP Giasnt Boy, Tiny Grandma. So adorable.

SarahP

@anachronistique Who WOULDN'T want to hang out with that grandma?

Bittersweet

@SarahP She makes me miss my grandma, who was also petite and stylish (though in a more preppy CT Shore way), and who totally rocked the silver hair.

hearththr

@SarahP I just love that they are both rocking gray sweats! Theya re adorable

Cavendish

@SarahP I knoooowww! They're my favorite. So cute in their matching sweatpants.

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher They've got about the same height difference as my last boyfriend and me. I would always forget how ridiculous we looked until I saw pictures of us together.

EternalFootwoman

@SarahP I got to that picture and had to take a little break so I could squeal, "Tiny grandma! Tiny grandma! Tiny grandma!" for a few minutes.

New Commenter Name

Why wouldn't anyone buy Girl Scout cookies from Brenda's daughter? WTF is wrong with people?

DH@twitter

@Curiouser and curiouser

Why wouldn't people buy Girl Scout cookies, period? I buy them from every coworker's kid and neighbor kid I can hunt down without looking like a creeper. :(

EpWs

@Curiouser and curiouser SERIOUSLY I had to go HUNT DOWN girl scouts this year. Girl Scouts, when will you learn that the college neighborhoods really are your best bet?

nevernude cutoffs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I got really weirded out this year when I saw the Girl Scouts had a setup at a mall kiosk. It seems like its breaking rules? I mean, obviously, still delicious cookies, I'm not mad about it. Just thought it was odd.

EpWs

@nevernude cutoffs I ended up buying them from a kiosk at the grocery store, and was grateful for it. There is something to be said for instant gratification, and also for seeing a bunch of wee Girl Scouts LIGHT UP when you head their direction/don't ignore them like most of the other people passing by.

camanda

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I buy from the girls at the grocery store, too! Two boxes of Thin Mints, I'm happy, they're happy, it's wonderful.

ba-na-nas

i used to live in that neighborhood. now that i have a kid i can't afford to. i love the grandma with her giant grandson.

Maryaed

I always realize I am odd when I read this kind of article because the moments I cherish are the truly eccentric ones. Like the time my older daughter drew a picture of a crab with a big smile and said "This crab is happy because he has all his intestines." Then she flipped over the paper to show me a picture of the same crab with a giant scribble underneath and said "And here he is with all his intestines fallen out." I might not have stopped laughing for about a week.

Lily Rowan

@Maryaed That is fantastic.

Anji

@Maryaed She sounds legitimately delightful.

Daisy Razor

@Maryaed Oh my god, that is amazing and hilarious.

frigwiggin

@Maryaed Children are so magically peculiar. When I was doing elder care, one client's family was in the process of adopting this little blonde two-year-old, and at one point when I was cleaning their house he sat me down and told me a story about a dog named Chocolate and a cat named Ice-Cream who fell off the couch, but they were okay! Another time I was doing dishes and he came up and hugged the back of my legs and basically put his face in my butt. Thanks, kid. (These are the very few experiences I have with small children.)

Bittersweet

@Maryaed After my surgery in January, my daughter made me a get well card that says GET WELL SOON in giant bubble letters. It also has pictures of me in bed and barfing (BLUCKH) with big red circles and lines through them, and NO BARFING ZONE at the bottom.

Kids are awesome, is what I'm saying. Awesome, and obsessed with bodily functions.

Maryaed

@Bittersweet So awesome. I hope that is on your wall.

Maryaed

@frigwiggin I wonder what it is with dogs named after food? My youngest has a whole fleet of stuffed dogs on this theme. It all started with a dachshund named Chowder.

EpWs

@Maryaed SUCH A GOOD DACHSHUND NAME.

And I have no idea what it is with food-named dogs. We had a Jack Russell named Pickles for many many years, though that one can be 100% attributed to Beatrix Potter.

maiasaura

@Maryaed As a small child, nearly all my stuffed animals were named after food. I had dogs named Caramel, Sugar, and Rocky (Road), and a warthog named Hot Dog The Warthog from a particularly cool aunt.

KeLynn

@Maryaed Seriously, I have no interest in kids, but if I could be guaranteed to have a kid like yours...I might reconsider.

Lily Rowan

@maiasaura I had a doll named Chocolate Milk. I guess it was my other favorite thing at the time I got her?

maiasaura

@Lily Rowan That is fantastic. My friend's 3 year old has a train named Daddy for very similar reasons.

frigwiggin

@Maryaed Food is great! Why not name someone/thing after it? I think I gave all my stuffed animals non-food names (Pearl, Seth, Grant), but my boyfriend had a stuffed llama named Sugar when he was wee. (He still has Sugar, actually.)

Miss Maszkerádi

@Maryaed That's one of those kind of things that warms my cold stoic heart and makes me think one day I might be a real female with a real maternal instinct! I want a kid who makes bizarre off-the-wall comments about crab guts!

Lily Rowan

@maiasaura Ha! I should point that out to my friend who is bummed out that her 3 year old loves Daddy the MOST. I think it's just a phase, right?

Maryaed

@CountessMaritza Well, the good thing is that all kids are weird. But mine are maybe a little weirder than average.

maiasaura

@Lily Rowan It seems to be pretty common. For a while, my sister called all adult humans "Daddy," which was not my mother's favorite phase.

whateverlolawants

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Pickles is a perfect Jack Russell name. We named ours... Jack.

redheaded&crazy

oh geez my family is stressing me out hard in time for mother's day. moms, i love them but they can be so hard to plan for!

OxfordComma

@redheaded&crazie : Right?!?

My mom doesn't drink tea, coffee, or cocoa; she's a teetotaller; and I just recently found out that she doesn't really care for the awesome bath bombs I was buying her from LUSH.

This Mother's Day?

She gets a card.

And maybe a daisy.

PICKY.

redheaded&crazy

@OxfordComma so disclaimer, i am normally terrible at mother's day and things of this ilk. which is inexcusable because I normally like to plan things and buy presents and I've been getting better over the years.

so this year has been a bit rough family-wise, so I go in SO determined to get it right. Order the flowers in advance, make the dinner reservations, get nice cards.

plan #1: "oh yeah, dinner sounds nice."
I ask for restaurant suggestions from the family and they say, oh no

plan #2: "she really wants to take her mother out for brunch"
so I make the brunch reservations for our extended family but then

plan #3: "well before you invite them i'd really rather just have breakfast at home"
but it's too late i've already invited them, but anyway they can't actually make it at the time i've made reservations for, culminating in

plan #4: dinner reservations.

I KNOW I'M BEING WHINY BUT OH MY GOD.

OxfordComma

@redheaded&crazie : Oh, God. All of that made me twitch so hard, I think I threw my neck out.

FAMILY I CAN'T EVEN.

TheMnemosyne

Was anyone else disturbed by the story of the older sibling being there for the homebirth and rubbing the kid's head when he came out? No? Just me? Okay then.

Maryaed

@TheMnemosyne I might have rolled my eyes a little.

New Commenter Name

@TheMnemosyne
No, I thought that was very sweet.

PistolPackinMama

@TheMnemosyne I know people have safe homebirths and such. But. I would hope the 4yo could say "ambulance... address... my mom is giving birth and there is too much blood/her breathing is obstructed" or whatever. Because... I am scared of that whole idea.

Daisy Razor

@PistolPackinMama I imagine the 4-year-old wasn't the only other one there.

New Commenter Name

@PistolPackinMama
There are Midwives who will attend homebirths. Mariah did not say she had an unattended homebirth.
p.s. Midwives are super awesome. I love all the Midwives.

PistolPackinMama

@Curiouser and curiouser I know! I know! Rationally, I know this! People do it all the time. This is one of those irrational fear things. I expect the kid was soothing with the singing. I do.

(Side note: My brother's GF from high school went to Notre Dame intending to become an MD. But she decided that medicine as an institution is patriarchal ridiculousness, and was going to thwart it by becoming a nurse/midwife instead. So she did. And then got an MA in international nursing at Yale [with a side trip to Uganda, where she helped with an emergency birth and now in a village there is a toddler-aged Baby-GF'sName toddling around]. She is a total boss. I know this. Amusing side side note: Said brother is now married to another HS friend, and she is a medical resident in anesthesiology. I guess he likes health care pros?)

iceberg

@TheMnemosyne Oh, it seems like it would be a little traumatizing for such a young'un to be at such a thing, in my opinion, and as I said about the birth-as-art, what if something goes wrong? I'm glad it seemed to have gone well for them though.

Judith Slutler

@iceberg IDK, my ex who grew up in a total hippie family (literally, in a commune) was born in a home birth, and both of his older sisters were there. And they both told me about how super cool it was to watch him be born?

wharrgarbl

@Daisy Razor Yeah. The 4-year-old having to call 911 is what happens when mom goes into catastrophic labor suddenly with no attendant and no one else at home. Typical homebirths have a midwife or doctor there to go "Okay, yeah, this is going pear-shaped, we need to get you to the hospital."

Bittersweet

@PistolPackinMama That "patriarchal ridiculousness" has saved my life several times and helped bring my girl safely into the world, so I'm gonna stick with it. Good for your brother's GF from high school for being a nurse/midwife though!

maevemealone

@TheMnemosyne Yeah, I kinda just wouldn't want a little kid reaching around up in there at that time. Even if I was on board with the whole home birth thing, the little bro reaching in for a head rub is just a bridge too far for me. But their smiles are making my ovaries clench up with cuteness, so well done all around in the end.

PistolPackinMama

@Bittersweet Western medicine makes my life possible, but it's still got some mad institutional injustices built into it. I can't make that be untrue, even if I am super-grateful for insulin. (<3 u, Insulin!)

People have to make the best choices they can with the resources they have. What scares me or irritates the midwife doesn't have to scare or irritate anyone else.

i make lists

@maevemealone My mom actually had three homebirths...so I'm probably biased, but it doesn't seem like too big a deal? When I was born, my older brother (who was four at the time) apparently lined up all his stuffed animals next to the bed so that they could watch.

PistolPackinMama

@i make lists AAAhhhhhh! Lessee. In order from creepiest to most comforting stuffed animal observers:

Buzz Lightyear
Raggedy Andy
Punch and Judy
Aniimaaaalllll
Statler and Waldorf
Eeyore
The Velveteen Rabbit

Emily R. Murrow

@Emmanuelle Cunt Yeah! My mom had 3 of her 4 kids at home and I remember when my youngest brother was born. I woke up with an ear infection and walked into her bedroom for some TLC only to find that no one was giving me any attention. An aunt took me aside and explained everything and I got to be there for the birth. It was a pretty exciting feeling for a kid! And remains a special memory. So, there's that.

EternalFootwoman

@iceberg It's not for everyone. People planning on having a sibling present at a birth do a lot of prep with the child so they know what they're going to see and hear. And it's very common for the attendant (because we're not planning unattended home births, are we? No? Good...not that I'm judging, okay, yes I am.) to require that there be an adult present whose job is to watch the sibling, so that the birth support person (partner, friend, doula) doesn't have to try to support the mother as well as watch the kid. Some kids are freaked out and decide to leave, some kids are beyond fascinated, and some kids are so casual they might as well be watching their mom eat dinner.

Speaking of cake, I have cake

@PistolPackinMama I think the problem with medicine is that most (not all!) doctors are high achieving, super energetic Type A personalities who can't understand how some people just feel defeated by life. Emphasising that this doesn't apply to all doctors, there are many who are really compassionate and great. I guess it's partly because Type A characteristics help a person get through the insane competitive hothouse of medical school

RK Fire

Aww, shit, I bought a Mother's Day card for my mom but I can't find it now to send it to her. :(

/terrible daughter ftl

DH@twitter

@RK Fire

I have a package for my mom but I had to wait until today to send it because I get paid today and WHY IS SHIPPING SO EXPENSIVE, so I guess it'll just have to be real late.

Terrible daughters unite! :/

RK Fire

@DH@twitter: I do that a lot. :/ My only solace is the fact that my mother used to tell my sister and I as kids "nothing you can give me can make up for the fact that I gave birth to you."

It sounds less mean/ominous in Vietnamese, I swear! But it kind of makes sense.

DH@twitter

@RK Fire

All possible interpretations of that are sort of awesome to me.

New Commenter Name

@RK Fire
You should just make her a card. You know those home made cards are best, right?

RK Fire

@Curiouser and curiouser: As 5 year old RK Fire discovered, even a handmade card on Mother's Day can not adequately make up for the fact that my mother gave birth to me. womp womp ;/

Honestly, I am just going to send a late card and maybe call my mother twice? Once tonight and once on Sunday.

okaycrochet

@RK Fire WOMP WOMP

AniaGosia

Super Noah!
This totally makes me lactate a little bit. I never wanted children until suddenly I did and my little guy is the joy of my life. It blows my mind that my husband and I just created another person. The comment about having aspirations and then realizing later that they aren't important kind of kills me though - I still have aspirations! I don't want them to fall by the wayside! It is really hard though. Grad school & being a mom at a school with no childcare until they're 2 is the worst. Constant guilt. Offset by joy though, for sure.

PistolPackinMama

@AniaGosia When she was in grad school, my mom used to tell us that after 9PM she was off the clock and no longer a mother. And I was all "Oh yeah. That makes perfect sense. She has stuff to do. I'll ask tomorrow about..." This is me at age 7 or so.

Which is my way of saying, your baby will be fine, even if they remember you were in school when they were very wee.

AniaGosia

@PistolPackinMama Thank you for the encouragement! I am trying hard not to despair, but still sometimes do. At least the spring semester is over! Bring on the summer of major dissertation achievement!

Anji

@PistolPackinMama I think that was pretty sensible. For me it was the opposite - my mom taught at the K-8 Catholic school I attended, so from 7:30 to 2:30, she wasn't mom, she was Mrs. ____. I guess when you grow up with something like that, or your situation, your kids find it totally normal? Obviously we turned out pretty rad. :-)

PistolPackinMama

@AniaGosia Let's be diss friends! And of course we are rad! So rad! See! Ignoring your kiddo while you are at school makes your kid AWESOME.

frigwiggin

@Anji Same for me! My dad taught at both the elementary schools I attended. (Well, actually, my brother and I probably switched schools because he did.) I was even in my dad's class in 5th grade and had to call him Mr. _____. Of course, none of the other kids ever believed I earned my grades, but I wasn't friends with them anyway so it didn't matter! Kids are amazingly adaptable and not as easy to break as I tend to think.

Judith Slutler

@AniaGosia My little brother got hauled along to my mom's law school classes a lot and he still has fond memories of leaving the entire law library in stitches by announcing, "Oink oink! I'm a pig! I'm a pig!"

Also? There is a pregnant woman in my grad program and I made a point of inviting her to study sessions because let's face it. I wanna meet that baby. I wanna babysit that baby. You may find that there are a few baby-starved grad students out there who will light up at the chance to take kiddo off your hands for a while!

dj pomegranate

@Emmanuelle Cunt Note to self: when pregnant, hang out with grad students.

AniaGosia

@PistolPackinMama Diss friends! Yeah! Mine is on Bataille and Foucault. I thought it was the coolest topic when I proposed it but now I'm like, ugh. Pushing on through though! @Emmanuelle Cunt If only! My grad school friends seem either to already have their own kids or are uncomfortable with them.

southwer

@AniaGosia OK, I actually totally, completely disagree with this statement. I have aspirations too! I feel like this is something people say all the time once they DON'T have small children anymore, and they get a respite from the very real drudgery it involves. Everyone needs a break and everyone needs balance in their lives.

AniaGosia

@southwer Truer words. Balance is so important and yet hard to achieve! And there's a lot to be said for showing your kids that balance and being an example to them.

stonefruit

@Emmanuelle Cunt I may or may not have gotten a job in my law school's daycare center for just such a purpose. It was, by a long shot, the best part of law school

parallel-lines

This is my neighborhood! Everyone is a mom and has a dog and a nicer apartment than me! It's hard sometimes!

parallel-lines

@parallel-lines (I can tell it's my neighborhood because all the strollers cost $500)

ba-na-nas

@parallel-lines i used to live there. i miss it terribly, even with all the apartment and dog envy. now i live in bushwick and get a little tired of the young and fashionable sneering at me.

parallel-lines

@bluesuedeshoes Wanna swap? I'm almost kinda not kidding.

Judith Slutler

@parallel-lines This is "my neighborhood" in a metaphorical sense as well. So I feel ya.

ba-na-nas

@parallel-lines it's really nice there, though, seriously. my neighbors on both sides were retired italian men who sat out on the sidewalk in lawn chairs when the weather was nice. and they were always so friendly. and that produce market on court street is super cheap and good quality. and getting drinks at abilene is so nice. and you get to pet ALL OF THE DOGS.

ba-na-nas

@bluesuedeshoes and Vinny's Pizza at Court and 4th place?! so good (try the eggplant slice!) and the guys who work there are all super friendly.

parallel-lines

@bluesuedeshoes I think some of those photos (at least the lede one) are Park Slope, not Carroll Gardens (which is legit nice). (South Brooklynites plug your ears) I fucking hate Park Slope and I'm not sorry. I just do and I'm okay with that.

KatPruska

@parallel-lines Me too! And I know the dog mom, because we are both walkers (she is a beautifully eccentric Dog Lady). My feet hate me forever, but I get to see inside other people's apartments and that's kind of fun. Everyone is super messy all of the time, y'all, even people with regular housekeepers.

NOTE TO ANY OF MY CLIENTS - I legitimately do NOT go through your stuff, I swear. I may peer around corners and count rooms, but nothing else. And I'm totally not judging you for that thing I saw, pinky-swear!

sparrow303

Oh man, I'm taking a road trip with my mom next weekend and I'm so excited!! This is not helping me wait patiently.

EpWs

@fishiefishfish I'm doing a road trip with my mom at the end of the month! Where are you guys going/how many hours are you driving?

PistolPackinMama

@fishiefishfish I still love your username.

frigwiggin

@fishiefishfish Oh man (oh mom?), that sounds like fun! Where are you going?

Oh, E-dubs got there first.

DH@twitter

@fishiefishfish

When I was 17 I drove with my mom from FL to New Hampshire (where she was moving) and it was weirdly great. We listened to Deep Purple in the car and watched a Patty Hearst documentary in a hotel room in Virginia and ate A LOT of doughnuts toward the end, because there are assloads of Dunkin Donuts in NH.

purefog

@DH@twitter Not many people know that "assloads" is the scientifically correct unit of measure for doughnuts.

EpWs

@DH@twitter Doughnuts are the best road trip food and I will fight anyone who claims otherwise. (I don't know that I've ever done a road trip without at least two sleeves of Hostess Frosted Mini Donettes along for the ride.)

redheaded&crazy

@purefog which is funny because it's pretty self-explanatory don't you think?

DH@twitter

@purefog

It makes sense, given what happens if you eat too many.

frigwiggin

Mommmmmmms. Quick, people, more Mom Things! My brother has been staying with my dad in Mexico for like a month now, and every time she or I talk to him he says something about coming back to the states in another week or two--when she and I were texting about him the other night (we're such family-gossips), she typed "gawd i hope it all works out for him" and the "gawd" made me chortle. Plus, she accepted it with such good grace when I accidentally sent her a card and flowers (I never send flowers, but since she just had surgery I thought it would be nice if she got some bright pretty orchids) LAST weekend because I thought that was when Mother's Day was.

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin "Hey, Mom? There might be some things coming for you on Saturday. Please try to act surprised!"

anachronistique

@frigwiggin My mom texted to tell me she got the package from me with her present and was trying very hard to be good and not open it. Good thing I'd already told Dad to take it and open it to properly wrap the present before Sunday.

Also she's been texting me pictures of the dog on a daily basis because I've been really stressed lately.

EpWs

@frigwiggin MOMS AND DOG PICTURES. The best. (Sidebar with a Puppy Thing: I'm at my parents' house right now and the puppy was flipping his toy around and hit another toy on the floor and it made a noise and it scared and he did the OMG TUCK TAIL AND RUN thing. PUPPIES.)

dj pomegranate

@frigwiggin MORE MOM THINGS PLEASE!

I talked to my mom last week on the phone and she was saying how she finally got my dad to go tango dancing with her on a Friday night and how she wore vintage Dior to the class. She's 63 and learning how to tango. She is basically the most awesome ever.

Judith Slutler

@frigwiggin This winter my mom sent me postcards instead of texting because she instinctively knew I was too depressed to handle having my phone on <3

Interrobanged

@frigwiggin Mom Things! My mom is really very progressive, but she's prone to saying these things that are kind of amusingly horrible? But kind of amazing.

I was teasing her about something saying something that sounded like the 1% and she said "Well I would be a member of the 1% if it wasn't for you children dragging me down."

And when she texted me to ask for last year's tax stuff she typed it 20!! because she didn't know how to make it do the 1.

dj pomegranate

@Emmanuelle Cunt MOMS JUST KNOW.

frigwiggin

@anachronistique Hahaha, awwwww. Doggies! My mom sends me semi-regular updates about the health and interests of their two dogs. She cooks them yams and chicken and rice and stuff, because the older one is a finicky doofus.

@E-dubs PUPPY. My cat scares herself with toys on an alarmingly regular basis. Also she ran into the wall the other day because she wasn't paying attention.

@dj pom Your mom is so cool! Ah, jeez.

My mom likes to text me when she's cooking things that she knows I like, or when she's cooking things she knows my boyfriend likes: "let mike know were having chili...." And she asks me about what I'm making for dinner all the time. Our relationship is very food-based, as it should be.

EpWs

@frigwiggin Also how is your mom doing?

OhMarie

@dj pomegranate My mom makes me a popup card for my birthday every year since she took a 1-day seminar (so, starting when I was 24ish, not a child)!

Also, I think I'm the only person in the world who likes having my mom as a Facebook friend. She seems genuinely thrilled every time my husband or I uploads a bunch of pictures.

Once I asked her what Jesus's favorite bug was and she laughed and said it was probably locusts.

dj pomegranate

@OhMarie My mom goes through Facebook spurts--long periods of inactivity and then suddenly a day where it seems like she writes on everyone's wall. For example, an assortment from last week: "LOOK AT YOU you are so big and grown up! Your baby has cheeks!!!!" "I don't know why you got a tattoo since you have such beautiful skin but I am glad you are having a good time in FLORIDA!!" "WHAT IS THIS PHOTO OF."

frigwiggin

@Emmanuelle Cunt Moms, they do just know sometimes! Which reminds me, I have a postcard I bought that I need to send to mine...

@Interrobanged Hahaha, I love that. My mom has openly said that the only children she ever liked were my brother and I, although there is now a three-year-old grandchild of her friend who considers my mom her best friend. Like, I'll fight you for that position, kid!

@E-dubs She's pretty good! The surgery went well, she's been taking it easy. No cancer in her lymph nodes, and they got all the cancer out of her breast, although that tumor was bigger than they expected. There's a slim chance she'll need chemo, but she won't find out until next week. Thanks for asking. :)

@OhMarie LOCUSTS. I bet they are.

@dj pomegranate The tattoo thing! My mom was surprisingly supportive of my recent tattoo, I was expecting something similar since she tends to say that about my hair color (although she always amends her comments about my beautiful natural hair color with something like, "But I'm glad you're letting your freak flag fly!").

iceberg

@frigwiggin Food-based love! Yes.

iceberg

@frigwiggin Once my mom and I were playing Pictionary as a team against some other people (I forget who) and I drew a line that went down from left to right. She said "Slope". We won.

frigwiggin

@iceberg I feel sad for my boyfriend sometimes because neither of his parents are really into cooking (his dad can make, like, three or four things), and he grew up really picky and hating a lot of stuff because he wasn't exposed to many foods. But he is slowly learning cooking stuff and seems to enjoy it (especially when it's taco night), so progress! If I can't develop a relationship with someone that isn't at least partly food-based, it's just not going to work.

missupright

@dj pomegranate "WHAT IS THIS PHOTO OF" just made me actually properly laugh out loud.

EpWs

@frigwiggin I'm so glad her surgery went well and that she's doing well! Please keep us updated?

frigwiggin

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I surely will!

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin Oh hey everyone, another of Kate Beaton's momics for the occasion!

a horde of great crab things

@dj pomegranate 'WHAT IS THIS PHOTO OF' = MOMCAPS. I love momcaps. Whenever I get a momcapped text from my mummy my heart squinches with love a little bit.

Speaking of cake, I have cake

@a horde of great crab things Momcaps - excellent term! Also Dadcaps and ParentVoiceMails where they tell you it's them even though the machine ALREADY TOLD YOU WHO THE MISSED CALL WAS FROM. Infuriating/cute

applestoapples

Hooks and Xavier are the spit of their mother. It's hard to imagine what their dad looks like.

As a Mother's Day gift to my sisters, I am flying to where they live to take all of the nieces and nephews to see The Avengers while my brothers-in-law take them to a spa and brunch. It'll be me and six little kids, all under the age of ten, in varying states of superhero dress.

EpWs

@applestoapples You are The Best Aunt/Sister Ever, for serious.

DH@twitter

@applestoapples

Will you be my auntie?

anachronistique

@applestoapples THE BEST AUNTIE.

applestoapples

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Can we talk about how they are the weirdest/best kids ever? None of them are hyperactive or obnoxious. Two nephews play sports, one niece dances, but they're all obsessed with comic book heroes and fantasy movies. Even the youngest, who is almost five, will sit and watch Iron Man quietly and then have a million questions when it's over.
At Christmas we watched Labyrinth and it was all about "Magic Dance" for two whole days.

sox
sox

@applestoapples Awwww I am loving their quirky little personalities as much as I am loving Hooks and Xavier's little heads of hair. Good thing I'm going to hang with my friend and her one year tomorrow, I need some kiddy cuddles!

nogreeneggs

@applestoapples Can we talk about how I now want to be best friends with your nieces and nephews?

maevemealone

@applestoapples Are you kidding? As a Mother's Day gift to my mom, my nieces are taking her(their grandma) to see The Avengers! My niece was telling me that when she watched Thor with my mom, "Grandma let out the most ridiculous giggle during the first nude scene when Thor appeared on screen and I was soo embarrassed but it was also hilarious!"
My mom is 70 yrs old and she loves her beefcake. All the tween nieces are going with her for the beefcake movie of the year and she's super excited. I only wish I could be there for it.

EpWs

@applestoapples They sound magical. Props to their creators/raisers. They are going to LOVE LOVE LOVE Avengers.

Trilby

My mom died about 3 years ago. I had no idea it would hit me as hard as it did. Now I tell my kids, Treasure me! Cuz someday I'll be gone! And we all laugh. But it's true.

EpWs

@Trilby I'm so sorry about your mom's passing, I can't imagine how hard that must be. MOMS.

Judith Slutler

@Trilby This just slays me. I almost want to move back home so I can hang out with Mom more than like once a year :(

frigwiggin

@Trilby Ah, your mom! I'm sad for this too. My mom had surgery a couple weekends ago, and I called her the night before just so we could chat, and she made a joke about how "I'm glad you called, we needed to talk in case something happens tomorrow and this is it!" Because it wasn't life-threatening surgery or anything, just the removal of a tumor from her breast. So we laughed, but it was still true.

falconet

@Trilby Yep, this is my second mother's day without my mom, and also as a mom. I suspect it'll always smart a little.

pomobabble

Oh, man, I love this. I had a miscarriage last week so it's also kind of ripping me in two/raining super hard on my face right now, but I just really love all those moms for being moms! Next, you should do a follow-up where you talk to all of these moms after two glasses of wine and they tell you which kid is their favorite. What? Only my mom?

dj pomegranate

@pomobabble I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. All hugs to you.

EpWs

@pomobabble Oh, hon, I'm so sorry. Lots of hugs, this has to be such a tough time for you.

(ps: I "liked" your comment not because of the awfulness in it, but because of the "I love all these moms for being moms" comment. Pretty awesome.)

hallelujah

@pomobabble So, so sorry. All of the kisses and hugs and good vibes to you, forever.

AniaGosia

@pomobabble Oh, I'm so so sorry. Internet hugs!

iceberg

@pomobabble I wish I had an umbrella for your face. So sorry that happened to you.

pomobabble

@AniaGosia (& dj pomegranate & The Everpresent Wordsnatcher & hallelujah) Thank you, thank you, thank you for the internet hugs and for being so nice. We're still going to celebrate Mother's Day because damned if I'm not going to be one/started turning into one the second we found out the good news before we found out the bad news, so I'm going to go hang out in the park and have a picnic and watch all the beans being adorable and definitely not cry (except maybe cry a little).

pomobabble

@iceberg They make those. It is called working from home, and I am alllllll over it.

AniaGosia

@pomobabble Celebrate the sh*t out of Mother's Day! A picnic (with some wine, I hope!) sounds delightful.

hallelujah

@pomobabble That sounds lovely, and you sound so, so lovely. I know there's no right or wrong way to grieve, but you sound to be such a wonderful person the way you are already talking about your loss. I almost lost my boy a few weeks ago, and did nothing but rage and curse the universe and anyone who's ever been happy. You're already such a great mom is what I'm trying to say!

maevemealone

@pomobabble I hope you can find a puppy to hug, I always find they are good to dry the tears on.

pomobabble

@hallelujah Oh my gosh, you are so nice. And also-- there has been much raging and cursing, against things that don't exist and also things that do exist and totally don't deserve it. I am so sad to hear that you had to go through that scare and so happy to hear that everything is well with you. I wrote this big long blog post on my personal blog about the experience, and how it was both really amazing to see how wonderful and kind people could be and also how all of that kindness existed in a totally separate sphere from the absolute wretchedness that my husband and I were feeling, and it sounded strangely lucid, and now I feel like a big fat phony because I am only lucid/having rational, moving-forward kind of thoughts about 30% of the time.

On a separate note, 100% congratulations to you, and YOU are clearly an amazing mom, and not just because I hope that your userpic means that you are going to make your son watch reruns of the West Wing for at least 18 years of his life. :) Happy Mother's Day!

EpWs

@pomobabble That sounds like a good day. Seconding @maevemealone, puppies are great snugglers/tear absorbers. You should absolutely celebrate because you've been a mother already and you will be again, hopefully soon (if that's what you guys want!).

playingpossum

@hallelujah @pomobabble Big hugs to both of you.Mothering is so hard - your whole being is constantly at risk. I almost lost my boy 3 weeks ago. Its hard to believe how far we have come in 22 days but the pain and fear are still so fresh for me and I fear they will remain so for some time. So affection and understanding from me and I hope we all get through it as ok as we can be xxx

hallelujah

MOMS! This is the first mother's day that applies to me (although my little guy is still cooking), and despite the fact that this makes me sound like a terrible and unappreciative person (sorry Mom), I suddenly am much more interested in it. Mother's Dayyyy!

AniaGosia

@hallelujah Yeah! Congratulations! It is so much more fun when suddenly you're a mom, right? Being a mom is the best - you will love it.

MmeLibrarian

@hallelujah I have been trying to decide if, as a pregnant lady, this Mother's Day counts for me. Of course, my baby could have solved this problem by being born in a timely fashion (41 weeks today). Kid! I am not an elephant! Neither are you!

...wait. You're not an elephant, are you?

hallelujah

@MmeLibrarian OH IT COUNTS. I am for damn sure counting it for myself, and I'm only 20 weeks! You deserve it so much more! SHOWER US WITH LOVE AND APPRECIATION, UNIVERSE.

pomobabble

@hallelujah Congratulations! I think that makes you sound not at all like a terrible and unappreciative person, but more like a person who is really jazzed up to be a mom, hooray!

EpWs

@hallelujah @MmeLibrarian LADIES, you are creating humans inside you, IT COUNTS.

dj pomegranate

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Seriously, it is like a superpower. All superpowers should be celebrated.

I was once in an argument about men vs. women re: superpowers. The men decided that peeing standing up was a pretty awesome superpower because it was so convenient, saved time, and was "less messy" than the ladies' plumbing. So I was all, "Pee standing up? I CAN MAKE ANOTHER HUMAN. Check and mate."

nogreeneggs

You guys I am so excited! A few years ago we got my mom a massage and a facial for mother’s day while everyone else had to help me move my stuff out of the dorms. She said it was the BEST MOTHER’S DAY EVER and complained about every one ever since. BUT! This year I got her (and the rest of my family OMG so expensive) tickets to see Beauty & The Beast the musical because that is her fave movie. She won’t be complaining this year!

Also I mailed her a card yesterday and I’m so proud because I suck at mailing people cards. My sister sends me a My Little Pony birthday card every year and I always feel like a jerk because I forget to send her one back.

redheaded&crazy

today's mom story: (my mom is an optometrist)

me: i have this weird like ... throbbing pain in the back of my eye? I thought it was a migraine or something but it didn't go away after yesterday.
mom: okay well it's prooobably just stress but you might have optic neuritis and not to cause needless worry but it's one of the first symptoms of multiple sclerosis so just let me know if it gets worse k?
me: k great, thanks mom! as if I ever needlessly worry about anything anyway.

SuperMargie

Agh. This is my first Mother's Day without my mom. My son already told me he is trying to make it extra special for me, but I am not sure.

frigwiggin

@SuperMargie I'm so sad for you! Your son sounds really special, though, that is sweet of him. Hugs to you.

Megasus

The dog is a Bernese Mountain Dog, for the curious.

DH@twitter

@Megano!

I wonder if its name is Astrid of Grenville.

/BSC flashbacks

HMSBeagle

@Megano! Me! I was curious!

Faintly Macabre

@Megano! I thought so but wasn't sure because I've googled them much more often than met them--they're the greatest!! (Except their crappy life expectancies, sigh.)

Megasus

@Faintly Macabre Aw, do they really? There were a lot of them in Ottawa, didn't know that!

DandelionTacy

@DH@twitter or Shannon the Dog? Love it.

iceberg

MOMS!

iceberg

@iceberg I love this series.

C_Webb

Wow, you were right in my hood! (I live under a BQE bridge, basically.) THIS is why I shouldn't wear my pajamas to drop-off in the morning -- fuck the NY Times; I could end up on The Hairpin!

(Who am I kidding, I'm still gonna wear pajamas, but maybe also lipstick.)

southwer

This is my second Mother's Day with twins, and maybe it's just because I've been really sick this month but some of this somehow rubs me the wrong way.The comment about living through your kids, and the comment that your kids are way more important than any other aspirations you might have. First of all your kids are different people than you, they are not you born again so you can relive your childhood. Similarly, I feel like the second statement is the kind of thing grandparents always say, ONLY once their kids are grown and they are not involved in the daily grind of having small children. Yes, of course you feel that way about your grandkids because their success/failure does not hinge on you - all you have to do is enjoy them.

I feel like I'm not expressing this very well. My twins are 19 months old and I feel like the worst mom ever today because I NEED A BREAK. But every time I read something like the second statement it implies that I am a bad mom for not cherishing every sticky, crumb-covered tantrum.

AniaGosia

@southwer No way are you a bad mom for needing a break! You can cherish the whole experience without cherishing every exhausting and exasperating moment. You are a superhero for raising twins! I wish I could come and help you out a little - hopefully you have someone who can!
The comment about living through your kids though - I took it differently. I thought it was more that having a little kid reminds you of your own childhood and lets you experience that childhood wonder again - playing pretend, watching Sesame Street, etc.

iceberg

@southwer Honey I FEEL you, I have 15 month old triplets. I agree w everything you said, and you are not a bad mom!

AniaGosia

@iceberg Triplets! Oh my goodness, girl. I bow down to you. 3x the Mother's Day presents?

CrescentMelissa

@southwer Also love, the little years are so hard! And it is OK not to love every snotty nose, ear infection, dirty diaper, demands for juice, episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba and the like. But! Eventually, they even out and it does get better.

iceberg

@AniaGosia Hahaha, last year (the first one) I got an iPod and some teeny diamond earrings. This year I'm getting a cheeseburger. Those kids eat like fucking locusts.

iceberg

@CrescentMelissa I so hope this is true because I think I'm going to be pretty fucking awesome during the crayon and pipe-cleaner craft years, but I pretty much suck at the diaper years. I just have no patience, but I'm working so hard on it!

Maryaed

@southwer What do they say, the years are short but the days are long? There is a lot of slog even on the best of days and I think it's only the very few who feel delighted all the time to be responsive to small irrational people. It's pretty tiring.

Seems like there's a lot of propaganda both in the IT IS SO REWARDING, DON'T MISS A SECOND OR YOU WILL REGRET IT direction and also the IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE YOU WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN OR PEE ALONE directions. Neither true in my experience. There are many great moments you won't want to miss out on. But it is possible and defensible to shape your life to accommodate adult freedom and pleasure. Balancing those things is the job, no?

EpWs

@southwer GIRL it is totally okay to be frustrated and need a break! You are not a bad mom! Please take care of yourself, it is a service to your little ones. (Mad props to you, to iceberg, to all you amazing moms out there. You guys are tough and awesome bitches.)

CrescentMelissa

@iceberg You will love all the crafts. A fun one to do now -- when it's warm out, fill up a bucket with water and let them "paint" with paintbrushes. We also did twig hunting, rock hunting, find all the beautiful pebbles and put them in a jar etc. When they are walking you can do silly things like this and it makes the time pass nicely. Also! Power in numbers, I always had company, other friends with toddlers for the 5-7 time (witching hour). Order pizza, drink wine, and it really is a life saver. Because you can go bat shit crazy day after day with only toddlers to talk to, as cute as they are.

iceberg

@CrescentMelissa Oh haha HELL NO i am not a stay at home mom, luckily for my mmob as i think i'd go batshit in the first week.

falconet

@southwer I also feel like there's some kind of hormone-induced amnesia that happens once you're through the sleep deprivation/wee years (or maybe because of them?). Everyone goes all googly-eyed and sappy and totally forgets the truly shitty and hard years, which is NO HELP when you're in the middle of them!

CrescentMelissa

@iceberg I was home for 7 years, then went back full time in 2010. It was time! And I am happier for it. Staying home full time is CRAZY. It was sort of like boot camp? But! After being home that long, honestly "paid" work does not seem as big of a deal. Deadlines? Pshaw. Piece of cake. Have you ever dealt with a family stomach flu?

iceberg

@southwer also let's not feel bad if we don't find the time to shower every day - my other twin-mom friend was so happy I validated her on this, she was all shamey about it. No one knows like another multiple mom.

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You guys. I love that we are all sharing like this, so many FEELINGS. To celebrate Mother's Day this year, my husband is indulging me and we have a family outing with the kids to the Brooklyn Aquarium, hot dogs at Nathan's, ice cream cones on the beach, then playing in the sand. This is going to be the best Mother's Day, also because I decided last year to sever contact with my own parents. Moms can be horrible, and honestly I realized at the ripe old age of 34, why chase something that doesn't want you back. I give my blessing to all of you, moms, dog moms, cat moms, moms to be, and just all the lovely women of the Hairpin.

EpWs

@CrescentMelissa That sounds like a most excellent Mother's Day. Props to you for making a decision that helps bring you peace! Parents are parents but they're also human and they can be terrible. I hope you have the most loveliest day!

CrescentMelissa

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Thank you darling. It is so dusty in my office, eyes.are.so.watery. I have built a beautiful life and I finally realized last year that I deserve a beautiful life. So empowering.

EpWs

@CrescentMelissa Absolutely. High five! :)

TheMostHumble

@CrescentMelissa Good for you for making what must've been a tough decision. No toxic people! Even moms!
Also, I'm so stealing your Mother's Day plans. See you at Nathan's!
Last summer I was pregnant with my 2nd boy & got very angry every time we were at CI, because I couldn't have clams & beer. My husband promised me that next summer (kinda now), we'd go often & I could have all the clams & beer. I'm cashing in on that promise!

null

LOVE THIS SO HARD. As far as holidays / celebrations go I am most stoked about mothers day and my daughter's birthday because she is the one aspect of my life that I am most proud of. I know that sentiment may offend some people, but I never had high aspirations for myself. I dropped out of high school, gave birth to her at 18, didn't go to college... yet against all odds I've managed to raise what I believe is an amazing human being. MOTHERS DAY!

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@klaus Go you! That is a damn fine achievement. Happy Mother's Day!

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@klaus You, ma'am, sound like a damned badass-- congratulations, and happy mother's day!

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Thanks y'all!! <3 <3 <3 <3

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Got to get this...something...out of my eyes before I can read the comments. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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My mom is having the memorial service for her mom on Mother's Day this year, and I'm not going because I'm far away and my mom told me that she'd rather I come up for the family reunion/ashes spreading in July. But now I'm having emotions and I feel terrible that I'm not going to be there.

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Oh, this series. You break my heart and make me love mankind more every time.

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I can't believe no one has mentioned this...maybe because it is entirely unrelated to the point of the article...but HOLY MOLY I'm feeling the HELL out of Tiffany's hot pink leggings!

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I saw my mom TWO DAYS AGO and this makes me miss her. She's going on a birthday trip today with two friends...to a goat farm.

Genghis Khat

I am loving the mother's day posts. My mom died in 2007 and it has been the hardest thing in my life living without her friendship and support in my life, and it makes everything else in my family incredibly complicated and unhappy too.

Mother's Day is my favorite holiday. I'm a UU and it was started by a Unitarian(and feminist!), Julia Ward Howe. We just don't have a lot of holidays of our own, us weirdo unitarians.

Miss Maszkerádi

This year Mother's Day and my birthday coincide....heh....I'm going to call my mom and torment her like "Guess what's your Mother's Day present, Mom? It's......ME! GETTING ALL OLD and shit!"

Me and my mom....man....we're both highly opinionated, Strong Independent Women(tm) with dangerously low bullshit tolerance, so being under the same roof while I went through my intensely weird and angsty adolescence (which started around age 10, ugh) got a little explosive at times. But at the same time I always would and still would smack anybody in the face who dared talk crap about her.

Two of my favorite mom stories are how she was trying to teach me Latin and Greek when I was 7 (some of it took!) and, most of all, her shrewd tactics for ensuring I didn't quit violin lessons. I loved the violin but HATED to practice, and it's one of the most elusive and frustrating things you can do, so roughly once every few months I would throw a cataclysmic fit and declare I was quitting the violin forever. And my mother, in a stroke of genius, pretended to go along with it. She would calmly take away and pack up my violin, storing it in the back of her closet, and talk very seriously about how she was about to call my teacher about selling the violin back, and how i would need to pick some other musical or artistic activity to pursue instead (culture was an important thing.) I usually managed to brood over this turn of events for at most half an hour before I was frantically busting into Mom's closet to rescue my violin and beg her not to sell it. The damn thing was a part of my BODY AND SOUL, didn't she GET it?!?! 15 some odd years later I'm about to graduate from music conservatory in New York with an actual degree in violin performance, so thanks Mom!

AnalogMetronome

@CountessMaritza As someone who just graduated with a degree in violin performance all of three hours ago this story makes me smile. I love how our relationships with our art and the people we love intertwine.

claireh

i used to live on that block where that first picture was taken! <3 fifth ave in brooklyn.

carolita

Ah, makes me wish my poor old mom wasn't so batshit crazy and terrifying. People who have moms they can actually love AND be around, I hope you know what you've got! Enjoy them for all of us who don't! Mazel Tov! :)

CrescentMelissa

@carolita Amen sister.

Probs

Well, Hooks won the name game. What's in it for the rest of us? I feel like that little dude is gonna grow up to be a ladykiller (or mankiller, or both, or neither. Whatever floats his boat).

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

ROBERTA! I would take you to dinner, too, you cute thing.

TheMongreloid

My mom died six years ago when she was 50 and I was 17. Mother's Day is always a weird day of mourning and celebration for me, and I love that The 'Pin has been having some lovely Mother's Day posts today. Because she can't tell her favorite parenting moment, I'll tell my favorite Mom moment. When I was 17, and not sexually active with my boyfriend (although soon to be), my mom waited til she had me in a car for over an hour to have the birth control talk, which was, as a teenager, mortifying. As I've become an adult and feminist, though, I really value that my mom even had that talk with me. Another favorite postmortem moment (creepy?): recently I found "Our Bodies, Ourselves," and a book my Gloria Steinem among her things, which makes me wish I could have had an adult friendship with my mom. The older I get, the more she seems like she was A Really Cool Lady.

KatPruska

@excitablegirl Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry you lost your mom. She sounds like a Super Cool Lady.

Michaela D@twitter

This mothers day I am just hoping she won't want the usual four hour hike with me, where she pretends to be interested in whatever I'm talking about for five minutes, and then lectures me into silence. Hours of sweaty, judgmental silence. I swear, she's half-Vulcan, and never laughs at anything.

Speaking of cake, I have cake

@Michaela D@twitter Yikes, that sounds terrifying! Maybe get a fake cast to put on your leg? 'Oh yeah, I totally broke my leg, so we can't go on our hike, OH WELL'

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Your pet is not your child. Usually.

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I saw my mom TWO DAYS AGO and this makes me miss her. She's going on a birthday trip today with two friends...to a goat farm...psychology degrees

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“I had homebirths for both of them. After the younger came out, Hooks, two and a half at the time, was rubbing his new brother’s head and singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. Xavier gets happy whenever he hears that song.” Kenra

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