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Friday, May 4, 2012

921

Friday Open Thread

It's unfortunate, but there's a chance you'll spend this weekend recovering from oral surgery. Hopefully it rains. What movies are you planning to watch?



921 Comments / Post A Comment

terrific

oh thank god you didn't forget about us <3

terrific

@terrific I need the open thread kind of like I need water and puppies.

@serenityfound

@terrific I was starting to think it wasn't going to happen at all this week. This made my already grumpy (and impatient with people who call my office) Friday afternoon extra awful. But now it's here!

@serenityfound

@disgruntled co-worker Ah ha ha, I noticed your post when I first checked the post and wondered what was up.

Prostitute Robot From The Future

@serenityfound Booze, mostly.

@serenityfound

@disgruntled co-worker +10, my friend.

DH@twitter

@disgruntled co-worker

Hehehe. So did I. :B

EpWs

@terrific

EpWs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Ah crud, that comment should not have commented. Hairpin, do you has a weird sickness going on with comments right now? Cut that out.

Craftastrophies

@terrific Oh my lord, that video!

Also, there is a comment on it by someone named 'Woofy Barkybark'. They only have two comments, both on videos of cats, and they are, respectively, 'barkbarkbarkybark' and 'WOOF WOOF WOOF'

I fucking love the internet.

mattewmc

This is a nice article.@t

madge

i'm so sad about MCA :( i don't even know if i can watch anything

mabellegueule

@madge I read this and did not know what you meant and then I saw the line and I AM SO SAD TOO this is awful.

madge

@mabellegueule it's so weird that someone i never met means so much to me. he was one of the good ones.

lisma

@madge I listened to Licensed to Ill all morning. :(
And kept thinking of that line: "MCA! Where have ya been?"

mabellegueule

@madge @Rookie yeah I usually don't get too personally affected about celebrity deaths but this one really hurts.

Emma Peel

I FOUND A NEW PLACE TO LIVE AND IT IS MORE PERFECT THAN I EVER HOPED.
Landlords, you may return from overseas and reclaim your house anytime.

Chesty LaRue

@Emma Peel I JUST MOVED INTO THE GREATEST APARTMENT A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO and it has enriched my life in so many ways.
I have a dishwasher now, and a balcony big enough to park a barbecue AND a patio set AND my bike (and still walk around). Plus a linen closet. Plus enough hooks in the bathroom to dry all my bras when I do laundry.

redheaded&crazy

favourite hairpin moment of the week?!

redheaded&crazy

@redheaded&crazie we all know what it is

redheaded&crazy

@redheaded&crazie yessir folks this one's a gimme

redheaded&crazy

PISTOLPACKINMAMA PUNK'N MELIS

redheaded&crazy

and, you know, some other people too

Reginal T. Squirge

@redheaded&crazie Oh man, this week has been so weird around here. Melis getting more normal/personal with her comments has started to grow on me. It's like Dylan going electric.

dj pomegranate

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter You guys! I missed this. Link pleeeeeasssse?

melis

I'LL CHOKE YOU ALL WITH THE PINBONES OF A THOUSAND STRANGLED GODS

Reginal T. Squirge

@melis Good thing you haven't forgotten the classics.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@redheaded&crazie Favorite Hairpin moment is obvs CAT JAIL, haters to the left, that's right all of you yes

melis

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter also i found you on twitter so

watch out man

Emma Peel

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) CAT JAIL just made me start laughing all over again.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@Emma Peel There is nothing funny about CAT JAIL. Nothing!

PistolPackinMama

@Emma Peel Hah... I was gonna say CAT JAIL too, mostly because of the comments that came after.

Has anyone considered that @melis might be, like, subcontracting? Or developing an Ask A @Melis syndicate? We'll be doing textual analysis to see which one is which, in time.

LeafySeaDragon

@redheaded&crazie FOLLOW ALL OF THE ADVICE EVER!

Reginal T. Squirge

@PistolPackinMama Oh, no! Multiple Melises!? Ghostwriting for Melis!? Is this going to end up like The Prestige with a bunch of Melises drowned in water tanks!? (spoiler alert)

Ophelia

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter She has legions of ghosts who write for her, but they all write only via text message.

PistolPackinMama

@dj pomegranate pppsssssssttt. Don't tell @melis

dj pomegranate

@PistolPackinMama omg thank you. That is amazing.

purefog

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter "Melices."

redheaded&crazy

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) i see cat jail dominates in popularity

that's cool

hmph

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@redheaded&crazie it's OK, cat jail is fleeting, melis is forever

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@redheaded&crazie My favorite moment is none of them because I HAVE MISSED EVERYTHING THIS WEEK. I have sooooo much catching up to dooooo

sarah girl

I have a dentist appointment Monday morning, don't remind me ;_;

reebs14

@Sarah H. Ugh, me too. Cutting my gums with lasers, I CAN'T WAIT.

wallsdonotfall

Can I shop for your moms? I love finding presents for people who don't actually matter to me personally. (I just bought my own Nevada-raised, bird-loving mother this print.)

terrific

@wallsdonotfall GORGEOUS. My mom just wants "to know her daughter loves her" and I think that means "please don't ask me for money this year."

The Lady of Shalott

@wallsdonotfall Yes please. I was just going to get my mom maybe some jewelry, a cake shaped like a tiny teapot from the local grocery, and cook her a nice meal. That's...good, right?

wallsdonotfall

@The Lady of Shalott That IS good! I would do the same if I lived within 500 miles of my mama. She's still so impressed that I can cook now.

(When I was a senior in high school, she left me five quiches in the fridge to live off for three weeks while she was on business trips. When she got home, she promptly had a brain aneurysm and spent five weeks in the hospital. Among all the other trauma, I basically starved all that time because I couldn't even cook pasta by myself.)

wallsdonotfall

@The Lady of Shalott OH and have you picked out your mom's jewelry yet? If you haven't, I want to recommend my favorite jewelry store ever (and they don't pay me!), Embellish in North Center/Lincoln Square. All independent designers, mostly affordable, with a really good mix of materials and levels of hipness.

PistolPackinMama

@wallsdonotfall YES! My mom has a kindle, works too hard, and loves flowers and is super smart and funny. And taught humanities and wants to go to antarctica.

Also my dad is retiring next week...

Help?

Faintly Macabre

@wallsdonotfall Wow, all that lady's stuff is beautiful.

Buying/cooking for my mother is a pain. She doesn't understand spending money on things, doesn't like other people using her kitchen, and doesn't like the kinds of things I cook, BUT she gets upset if no one celebrates Mother's Day. Being raised by a thrifty person is great until you want to buy them something. I think I'm just going to make a really nice collage card.

wallsdonotfall

@PistolPackinMama Has she seen Frozen Planet yet? If not, BAM. Brilliant, gorgeous, and she'll get the original Attenborough narration.

New Commenter Name

@wallsdonotfall
What do you recommend getting a mother who lives across the country, with whom I have very little contact because she basically was, is, and always will be mean, nasty, manipulative, and a terrible mother? And yet I feel a sense of guilty obligation to still get her something? Suggestions?

boysplz

@wallsdonotfall Those prints are really nice! Plus they had a cardinal one which scores like, all the mom points in my family. Thanks you for sharing you just made my (and later her) day.

JadedStone

@Curiouser and curiouser A box of FIRE

JadedStone

@Curiouser and curiouser that or a book that strongly features a mean manipulative mother: Girl of the liberlost, The Glass Castle...

PistolPackinMama

@Curiouser and curiouser Impersonal flowers. Stargazer lilys, maybe. Or some generic plants she can put in the ground, if she has a garden. Have them delivered with an impersonal card.

wallsdonotfall

@PistolPackinMama Also, if you think your dad is going to get in her hair all the time once he retires, get her one of these.

@Curiouser and curiouser Ugh, I'm sorry. You are not a terrible person (or even a slightly bad one!) if you don't get her anything, especially if it doesn't feel genuine. Would a beautiful card or simple flowers feel appropriate? It's a gesture that doesn't have to be too personal.

Or Plath. Send her lots of Plath.

Edit: wait, I found it, thanks to PPM's inspiration! Send her one of these seed bombs. That way she gets flowers, and you get the satisfaction of giving her something with the word "bomb" in it.

gobblegirl

@Curiouser and curiouser Probably a tasteful card, but sneeze on it?

New Commenter Name

@ Everyone
you are making me LAUGH... Such great passive aggressive gift ideas. I love them all.

TheDragon

@wallsdonotfall
What do you know about Tulip bulbs? I know my mama wants them and she lives in Missoula, Montana.
From there, I'm clueless

dale

@Curiouser and curiouser Maybe following up on the 'giving' thread the other day, give her a gift certificate to an organization that lets you pick and choose where the donation goes? I don't know where you are geographically, but for those in Canada, you can do a gift cert with http://www.canadahelps.org/ and then the recipient can pick a registered charity of their choice. Is Donors Choose in the US similar?

Anyway, that way you've a) given her a gift; and b) forced her to think outside herself. :-p

_questingbeast

@PistolPackinMama I bought my mother (who sounds a bit like yours) a biography by Claire Tomalin once, and it went down so well I just buy the new one everytime Tomalin writes one. The Pepys one was great, Mrs Jordan's Profession was great, Dickens, Mansfield, Hardy. I don't know much about Kindle but presumably they can be gifted?

wallsdonotfall

@The Kendragon As far as I know, most commercial varieties of tulips these days are easy to grow if they're marked for your zone. (That's why they're so popular for mass city plantings.) Missoula is zone 5b, which is good for lots of varieties!

However, you plant tulips in the fall, and they're currently unavailable on most online vendors' websites. I would try calling a local nursery and seeing if they have any in stock, then go from there.

Mingus_Thurber

@The Kendragon Hey, OT on the Mom's Day thing, but what do you think of Missoula? I've wanted to visit/move there for a long time.

TheDragon

@Mingus_Thurber
I LOVE IT. It is my favorite town in the world. If you like beer, or the outdoors, it is the place to be

PistolPackinMama

@The Kendragon Or beer in the outdoors?

TheDragon

@PistolPackinMama
It's hard to beat floating down the Clark Fork with a six-pack Cold Smoke (local Scotch ale) tied to the tube, and cooling off in the river.

PistolPackinMama

@all so many good ideas. Thanks!

Craftastrophies

@Curiouser and curiouser I usually get mine nothing, for the same reasons. If I remember, I make a donation to a charity - usually something birth/mother related, bonus points if it's teaching people to be better parents. Bonus points if you do it in her name and then let her know! I never do, but if you still feel you have to get her a gift, that is one that she can't object to without proving how awful and selfish she is.

Laughing to hard at Plath, though.

TheLetterL

@wallsdonotfall Oh! Are we still doing this? Because I'm just seeing this now and I need some HELP. My mother likes: plain black coffee, craft stores, the beach, thinking about planting things, reading books of the Dean Koontz/Janet Evanonich/James Patterson flavor, and watching a truly astonishing amount of crime procedurals.

billie_crusoe

@Curiouser and curiouser GIVING HER NOTHING IS OK. My mom is a total shit-head, and I didn't talk to her or send her cards or acknowledge her existence for 2 years (including when she had cancer, bad daughter definitely, but it wasn't healthy for ME for us to talk, and the cancer was barely even stage 1. Also, our last conversation was my coming out, so, you can guess how that went). BUT. We're talking now, and it's OK? I mean, she's still the same person, but she knows there are lines she can't cross. She'll never be the mom I want, but we can converse now. Which, maybe things wouldn't work out as well for you. But my mom legit has Borderline Personality Disorder (I'm not exaggerating or being a jerk about MIs, she really does) and I thought nothing would ever change how she behaves, and this did. But even if it didn't change her behavior, I NEEDED to cut her out for a while, and it was OK. It didn't not make me a terrible person.

Sorry if I sound bossy / "THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO" because I know that it's a really personal decision. This was just my experience. Shitty mom empathy.

Also, I gave my mom a fire ring with woodland animals on it (not actually a weird gift, she's a park ranger), and she was kind of "meh" about it, and I am slightly pissed. I mean, this is the first time she's gotten anything from me in 3 years, so she could be a little nicer about it. Whatever, if this is the worst she behaves, I can handle it.

Hello Kidney

@wallsdonotfall My mom is very butch but (apparently) straight. She's a heavy-set (& not really into fitness stuff... bad knees), single security guard at a casino. She rides a Harley and has two Persian cats. She owns a Kindle and a Wii and about 10 college degrees in various fields that she is not (and has never been) employed in. WHAT DO I BUY HER??? She's difficult to shop for.

EvilAuntiePeril

@Curiouser and curiouser For Christmas & birthdays I usually use @craftastrophe's method. I used to do neutral flowers, neutral card, but I feel better about the charity giving. At least the whole fucked-up situation can bring some good somewhere. And also, a while back I gave myself permission to do basically the same thing every time so the whole thing involves much less angsty thinking and rehashing.

I love the idea of Plath or other similar books but a) she's not really a reader and b) wouldn't get it if she did.

@che @craftastrophe @curiouser and curiouser Shitty mother empathy all round.

Craftastrophies

@EvilAuntiePeril Mine has been accidentally calling me a lot lately - like, her phone will be in her bag or something. I have a policy of not answering when she calls because of how it used to give me panic attacks, so I need to feel like I have some control over when and how I speak to her. (@che this started when she had breast cancer. That one was rough because I was sort of halfway through the process of semi-cutting her off, and then everyone was asking me how she was and trying to be caring, which just made me feel like the WORST. But having breast cancer didn't make her not a manipulative bitch, so...) The whole thing for me is about, as AuntiePeril says, avoiding the angst. Lots of giving myself permission to opt out, etc. It does get easier, and it means that when and if I want to, I can opt in, and do it genuinely. Part of my problem is that she is so emotionally needy and manipulative, I find it hard to find a balance between being emotionally detached and completely open for being taken advantage on. In all my relationships, but especially with her.

Anyway, Shitty mother suck, and they suck the most on mother's day. Social expectations also suck, when you have a shitty mother. Solidarity! :P

JadedStone

@Hello Kidney Tiny Harley jackets for the cats. BOO YA

EvilAuntiePeril

@Craftastrophies Ugh. Unexpected calling doth suck. Control and rules are very necessary indeed. But every time they seem to be sorted out and stable, something new comes out of the blue forcing a re-evaluation. Every. Single. Time. :(

@che @craftastrophes I haven't had the experience of adding a serious illness with all the associated social expectations into the mix, and absolutely dread the prospect. But a recent Big Family Deal (death of a matriarch) has reinforced the need for well-articulated (at least to myself) rules, and threw up so many social complications as well.

Not only has my mother reacted by going into a spiral of fukkeduppery that is teeth-grindingly hideous, but I'm the only one of my sibs with (limited) contact with her, which for some makes me either complicit or responsible for managing her, both of which positions I absolutely reject. I simply didn't tell anyone-not-family what was going because I just could not figure out how to deal with those conversations in a way that would leave me feeling like a decent human being.

Arrghh. Solidarity indeed. Time to raid the recipe books for something fun to make. I'll take it with me as an entry offering while I hunt down the official hairpin vat of whiskey & hot chocolate.

Hello Kidney

@Jade OH MY GOD. I am ON THAT!!! hahahahaha

billie_crusoe

@Craftastrophies That's basically exactly how it went down with my mom. I was in the process of cutting her off, and found out she had BC via text message from my aunt. I was the family pariah for a while, but my mental health improved significantly. (I am SO glad hers was stage 1 and easy to deal with, as far as dealing with cancer goes, because I don't know if I would have ever gotten over it if she'd died while I was not talking to her.) I talk to her now, but it's SO EASY to get sucked back in. I have to tell myself every time I talk to her, "No, she has not changed, she's just a master manipulator."

@EvilAuntiePeril Family crises of any sort are the worst with parents like this.

@all I'm glad we're talking about this, because it makes me feel like a less-horrible person! I am mostly over feeling like a horrible person, but sometimes I still do.

Craftastrophies

@che Yeah, I've not ever cut her off completely, as such. But I am in the middle of a long period of barely talking to her. It's easier now my sister is overseas, because I can shut our mother down without messing with my sis' relationship with her. I have NO idea what kind of a relationship she thinks we have (her grip on reality is... not great) but she knows that if she pushes it I will shut her down and cut her off. I have basically given up on ever having a relationship that I don't have to constantly monitor and, as you say, she'll never be the mother I want. I basically try to behave in a way that I can live with and be proud of my own actions - I went to visit her in hospital after her surgery because I didn't want to be the kind of person who didn't, but if it happened now, I might not. It's such a relief to be able to make it about me, not her FINALLY.

I know I bore and scare some people who have functional families by talking about this, but the more I talk about it the more I find other people who deal with this crap. It's been so important to my mental health and general emotional growth to realise that it's not me, there are other's out there, it will never be perfect but I'm not a broken, hateful person for not loving my abusive mother. So, I continue to talk about it. Sorry, normal people! If you have a lovely mum, give her a hug for me!

The Lady of Shalott

UGH GUYS. Week 1 of my 16-week enforced separation from my boyfriend is in the books and I miiiiiiiiiiiiiiisss him. /snivelly. Also he's been unable to contact for five days and gets back tonight and I WANT TO TALK TO HIM.

Also, I am going to be twenty-four this month and just moved back in with my parents for the aforementioned sixteen weeks. I do not feel great about this. I feel...the opposite of that.

realtalk

@The Lady of Shalott I'm in month 10 of long-distance with mine, and it blows chunks. Might be able to move up there in September, but not if I don't get this job I'm applying for... so basically I'm a tiny ball of anxiety and stress all the time! hooray!

WHICH IS TO SAY, I totally get it, being apart from your SO is the worst, and I live with my parents too, and it can be kind of demoralizing, but overall I like it better than living by myself. Free laundry, yo. I think it helps that my parents treat me like an adult - how's your relationship with them? (that is a big question that is kind of invasive, please ignore it if you want! accept these hugs in addition to all of my words which may or may not be helpful)

wallsdonotfall

@The Lady of Shalott Wait, are you in/near Chicago now? It won't help with the boyfriend thing, but come to next week's Pin-Up! Get out of the house! Come cook with me!

beanie

@The Lady of Shalott :/. I'm a nosy bitch, so why 16 weeks of separation? Obviously, feel free to not share if you don't want.

Also, I am a big believer in buying something nice for yourself when you're down, so there's always that? Feel better!

The Lady of Shalott

@beanie My boyf is in the military on a 16-week course right now that involves large chunks of time (eight or nine weeks!) spent in the field with no communication. Since I finished my degree and consequently my employment, I couldn't afford to stay there while he was in training....so, I'm with my parents until he receives new posting orders and we move in together. Somewhere.

@realtalk It's...okay! I mean, I get along pretty well with my folks, but they have a hard time accepting that I am a Grown-Up, now. And also my home is not the most emotionally-stable, and my dad is an alcoholic, so...you know, it's not terrific or anything.

I may go shopping for cake. To eat. BY MYSELF.

PistolPackinMama

@The Lady of Shalott Road Trip to visit other midwestern cities? Such as Minnesota ones?

just reading in a boat no big deal

@The Lady of Shalott Eat that cake, girl. It will help!!!

beanie

@The Lady of Shalott ah, I'm stupid and first read it as being some sort of trial separation thing. Military makes a lot more sense. Hmm...maybe try a new hobby? Or read all of Game of Thrones? (Recommending GoT is my new go-to).

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama Come visit me! I'm halfway!

realtalk

@The Lady of Shalott EAT DAT CAKE. I'm sorry, honey! That sounds like the worst. Hey, one of the things my guy and I do when we can't talk to each other because of logistical reasons is keep these journals that we write to each other? Like I'll write letters to him, but they're all in a notebook, and then when we finally see each other, we swap journals and read them and cuddle. It's pretty nice. Definitely spend lots of time with friends + cake + ice cream, and pinups, and if you want an internet friend I'm ALWAYS looking for more of those.

gobblegirl

@beanie I definitely read that as "Hmm...maybe try a new baby?" and thought that was creative advice, to say the least.

beanie

@gobblegirl I know I don't give GREAT advice, but I'm not that bad.

The Lady of Shalott

@ Everyone: you are all the best, and also I just talked to him for a half-hour (and would have for longer if he hadn't just gone 48 hours with no sleep and I could hear him falling asleep on the phone...), so I am feeling marginally better.

I think I'm going to do a lot of baking and stuff this summer. Also: cleaning my parents' entire house for them. Basement to attic.

EpWs

@The Lady of Shalott *HUGS HUGS EAT THE CAKE*

Bake the cake first! Then eat the cake.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@The Lady of Shalott Girl I am 27 and have only not needed to ask my mom for money, like 6 non-consecutive months in my entire life. So yeah, moving back in, not a big deal.

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher wait... bake the cake then eat it? This is not what I have been doing. #cakebatter4lyfe

EpWs

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me I mean, you do what you gotta do.

I wanna go bake a cake now. Time to evaluate the kitchen stores and figure out if chocolate chip cake is a feasible thing...

Xanthophyllippa

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Come join me in this giant vat of cake batter?

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa Can it be cake batter with, like, booze in it? Because if so, can I join you? #crummyevening

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa How about... something with coconut?!

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama I CANNOT GET THE DAMN THING OPEN.

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa SOMEONE needs a friend with a new boyfriend.

Also, there has got to be a trick, right? I mean, how do people get them open if there isn't a trick?

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama I am strongly considering standing on the curb next to my house with a sign that says, "Open my coconut and win a date with me!" But that would likely result in people trying to wrestle the coconut away from me and place it in protective custody.

There is a trick, which involves hitting it along its equator with the dull side of a heavy knife or cleaver. Apparently my heaviest knife - which a housemate once used to cut down a Christmas tree, and yet it still cuts - isn't heavy enough.

EpWs

@Xanthophyllippa Let this nice shirtless man show you how to open it WITH A HAMMER.

Spoiler: the hammer is not his penis. It is a hammer.

aaaAAAaaaAAaaAAAAA

@beanie definitely game of thrones. the books are SO GOOD. I am completely engrossed.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I OPENED IT AND IT WAS GOOD.

I did end up using a hammer. Not that nice shirtless man's penis.

insouciantlover

I had a dentist appointment already this week!

I need to floss more. And not just with business cards that I find in the bottom of my purse.

OxfordComma

@insouciantlover : I am so glad to know I'm not the only person who uses whackadoodle things in her purse to floss.

Lil Sebastian

Can we have a kindle book rec thread? What good/interesting books have you come across that are cheap, or free for that mater? Classics aside obvs, I already loaded up on those. What's up with those longread pieces, are they any good? I have a giftcard burning a hole in my pocket!

sarah girl

@Lil Sebastian Wool!!!!

http://www.amazon.com/Wool-Omnibus-Edition-ebook/dp/B0071XO8RA/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1336165759&sr=1-1

Dystopian fiction (but not toooooo depressing), SO WELL-WRITTEN. There are five books in there; the first is a novella and each book gets progressively longer. Also, very cheap, and you're supporting an independent author! Win-win.

JadedStone

@Sarah H. CURSES. That is SO CHEAP and I can't NOT CLICK the butttttoooonnnnn........

sigh. Now there's 615 things on my kindle. JUST GREAT.

lemon mint fizz

@Lil Sebastian I always loved anything by Jhumpa Lahiri (Interpreter of Maladies, The Namesake, Unaccustomed Earth). I've recently been on a "search for any novel involving a late-teens/young adult South Asian-American" so I'm about to start "Shine, Coconut Moon" and "Jazz In Love"...

claireh

@Lil Sebastian neither cheap nor Free, but midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil is awesome so far.
there is this though - 100 books under $3.99-
http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=amb_link_361553942_2?ie=UTF8&docId=1000706171&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-1&pf_rd_r=12ZQ9SV8H54BC3HZXKZX&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1355689742&pf_rd_i=507846

lemon mint fizz

@lemon mint fizz ugh, I glossed over cheap/free. SORRY ABOUT THAT! But they are good books anyway!

byrneunit

@Sarah H.
Wool was so good! I was upset when I finished it, in a NOOOOOO I NEED MORE way.

ms. alex

@Lil Sebastian This might be a weird suggestion, but if you are at all interested in feminism & religion or like, Mormons who aren't Mitt Romney and are liberal, I just bought & read the e-book of The Book of Mormon Girl by Joanna Brooks (it's a memoir). I really liked it, but I'm sort of the intended audience (liberal feminist raised Mormon), so I dunno. But it was $3.99 on Amazon!

QuiteAmiable

I've been waiting for this thread all day. I need to share this with my fellow kitty loving 'Pinners: as of this morning, my 1-year-old outside kitty is stuck in a tree! Like 35 feet up in a tree. We tried everything but climbing the tree to get her down last night. I've been a nervous wreck. She is so pitiful and scared and cries anytime I come near the tree. We are getting a 40 foot ladder tonight to attempt to get her out.

I just need to be comforted.

mabellegueule

@QuiteAmiable Kitty! Isn't this something a fireman could fix? Good luck with the ladder and just have some treats and wet food and tons of cuddles available for her. She will be fine and SO happy to be back with her human.

ayo nicole

@QuiteAmiable Aw, I really hope the ladder works. If not, call the fire department? Do people do that in real life? Anyway, hope your lil kitty is back on the ground ASAP.

dj pomegranate

@QuiteAmiable I am always baffled at how cats DO that--Don't they know they will get stuck? It is so sad. Come down safely kitty!

Emma Peel

@mabellegueule Good luck! It will be OK, and please be safe on that ladder! The fire department sometimes helps, but most don't: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2916/do-fire-departments-actually-rescue-cats-from-trees

QuiteAmiable

@mabellegueule @dj pomegrante @ayo nicole @Emma Peel
Thanks ladies! I've been an emotional wreck over this, possibly because of PMS but also because my kitty is in distress! The boy is being kind of jerky about it all, but he is helping so there's that.

And I've been told the fire dept here does not help. So we're taking matters into our own hands!

And this is her on the pinpets tumblr:
http://pinpets.tumblr.com/post/21947252246/this-is-the-colonel-she-showed-up-as-a-baby-on-my

Does Axl have a jack?

@QuiteAmiable She is darling!

My dearly departed kitty got herself stuck up a tree several times when she was youngish, and we only had to go after her with the ladder once. Pro tip: wear a thick, long-sleeved shirt. She will cling. And chances are, this will probably be the only time that she will need your intervention! So, that's good.

tessamae

@QuiteAmiable aww, kitties. Those little pea-sized brains are the worst. Much like a 17 year-old, they think they are indestructible and immortal. I might still check with the FD, I actually used to live across the street from a firehouse and was friends with a bunch fo the guys. They told me loads of stories of rescuing cats from trees and other high, dangerous places. Dogs too. And kids with their heads stuck in railings. :)

Brunhilde

@QuiteAmiable My friends got a cat this way in college! There was a kitten stranded in the tree by their house mewling pitifully for a full day, they called the fire department and animal control, neither of which would help, but then Dave saw the local power company's cherry picker in the neighborhood, called them, and the driver was happy to run over and rescue her! So, maybe try the power company and the phone company and see if you can get a sympathetic tech?

Verity

@QuiteAmiable Oh no! I'm sure she will be fine; if she doesn't manage to get down by herself, I'm sure you can find somebody (like the fire department) to help, or go after her with a ladder. (If you to this, you could try taking up a bag to put her in or something to wrap her in, so you have your hands free to climb down.)

One of my cats frequently climbs into the yew tree in our back garden (lots of birds live in it) and then cries piteously for ages. She's always managed to get down by herself, though - she just makes a fuss.

laurel

@Verity A backpack would work. Stuff a kitty in a backpack (or else she'll scratch the hell out of you).

bot
bot

@QuiteAmiable Every chance he gets, my partner tells his favorite story about a fat old cat he lived with who got stuck up a tree. The cat couldn't get down, they couldn't get up the tree - what to do? Well, at some point, the cat apparently decided "enough is enough" and ran straight down the vertical trunk of the tree, and just kept running, across the yard, through the open basement window, up the basement stairs, and then he flopped down in the front hall, like "what? nothing just happened."

So you can look forward - when the anxiety's over - to this being a funny story, I hope!

dj pomegranate

@bot hahahah CATS. They are the best.

purefog

@QuiteAmiable Here's your comfort: Just remember that you have never seen a cat skeleton in a tree.

EpWs

@QuiteAmiable The fuck do you mean the fire department won't help? THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE THERE FOR.

Good luck! Kitty, come down now please. Everyone stay safe and I hope you will all be earthbound by tonight!

QuiteAmiable

@QuiteAmiable LADIES, she is out of the tree!! My friends came over with a 32 foot ladder, my friend's husband climbed up in the tree, the kitty went even HIGHER and then decided to make a jump for it. She jumped onto the roof of a garage about 15 feet below her branch. SO HAPPY she is ok!

Thank you ALL for being so kind :)

EpWs

@QuiteAmiable YAY! I'm glad everyone is safely on the planet's surface where she should be. Kitty, LEARN.

Reginal T. Squirge

Hey, I went to the Portland meetup last week and it was pretty cool! Everybody was really nice and I don't think I said too many dumb things.

Brand new social situations going well: who knew?

realtalk

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter yayayayay pinups! They're always fun and rarely awkward, in my experience. It's great.

melis

@realtalk MMM sometimes they get highly wackified so watch out for that

realtalk

@melis remember when you/jaqui invited me to a sex party that one time at dr teeth? I think that was the most successful SF pinup by far

melis

@realtalk hahaha YEP and i accidentally made out with several different lurkers and then a Polish woman who was not even part of the meetup, just a woman walking down the street, told me i was coming with her and i got lost and someone gave me a coconut bra, whatever

melis

@realtalk also full disclosure I do not remember which one you were and that was also the only Pinup I have ever been to or will ever attend again, probably, given my aforementioned off-the-raillery

LeafySeaDragon

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter i missed it i was sick. hopefully there will be another one!

realtalk

@melis WE'RE FACEBOOK FRIENDS (i'm ari) and yeah, didn't you get dragged to the lex by a rando who didn't even give you her phone number? PLEASE COME TO ANOTHER PINUP, THEY ARE TRAGIC WITHOUT YOU

Pela

@melis Noooo please go to another pinup and maybe say which one? I like hella lurkey-stalk you and feel like I owe you a beer or something.

realtalk

ok. I have terrible insomnia - can't fall asleep, too much going through my head, and then a super annoying pop song will get stuck in my head and then THAT'S what keeps me up, and then I get anxious about how little sleep I'm going to get, and and and and ugh. HELP ME.

Exene

@realtalk I get gnarly insomnia too, and in the absence of Lunesta/Ambien (<3 u zolpidem), the main things that help me are abstaining from booze and forcing myself to come fully awake and get out of bed the second I gain consciousness in the morning, no matter how little time I've been asleep. Don't blame the pop song; the insomnia is calling from inside the house.

realtalk

@Exene I knowwwww. Ambien and I are NOT FRIENDS (when I can't fall asleep after I've taken it, I start hallucinating, and it's super scary). I haven't been drinking much recently (as in, on the weekends I've been having a glass of wine with dinner), and I always get up when I wake up. But thanks for your input! High fives for the insomnia club!

JadedStone

@realtalk Binaural beats might help?

realtalk

@:Cinnamon Girl: oh man, will do. thanks for the tip!

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

@realtalk Oh, no! I have a somewhat similar problem in that I keep waking up one or two (or sometimes three or four) hours before my alarm goes off and getting a song stuck in my head (it can actually be a good song that is rendered annoying by it running on a loop through my mind and preventing me from sleeping). So, I can sympathize a bit but I have no answers!

Prairie Dawn

@realtalk I have had the same thing going on recently and the only thing that helps in Benadryl

Brunhilde

@realtalk I've been ordering the Dream Tea online from the Herb Shoppe in Portland, and it's working remarkably well. I was getting pretty groggy/iffy results from sleeping pills.

frannypants

@realtalk Here are my things: 1. Don't lay in bed trying to fall asleep if you can't. If it's been more than a half hour, get up and read or take a bath or do some yoga or something and then try again. 2. If you ARE laying in bed trying to fall asleep, concentrate really hard on something that isn't going to stress you out. My best friend gave me this idea that I use all the time where you design the perfect library in your head - like, the actual physical building, the paint colors and stuff. Like counting sheep but... better. For some reason this really works for me? 3. Really try hard to go to sleep/get up at the same time every day. That's the hardest one.

olivebee

I just want to wish everyone a happy open thread, and I wish I had the energy to read through all your ups and downs and queries and offer all you lovely women support and congrats and answers. But unfortunately, I am planning on laying numbly on the couch all evening, as I found out this afternoon that my co-worker (and friend) died from cancer at 33.

I do want to say, though, that there is a pinup this coming Monday in Chicago (check the Pinups Google Group for details), and now, more than ever, I am looking forward to going because I know that Monday will be a rough day at work. So I hope to see you Chicago 'pinners there!

frigwiggin

@olivebee I'm so, so sad about this, olivebee. :( Hugs.

Prostitute Robot From The Future

@olivebee Good god, that is horrible news :( Hugs

PistolPackinMama

@olivebee Oh, I am sorry. That's really sad news. I hope everyone is doing OK as they can in the circ.

EternalFootwoman

@olivebee I am so very sorry to hear that. What a terrible thing. I hope you have supportive people to be around.

New Commenter Name

@olivebee Sad news, so sorry. So very very sorry.

thebestjasmine

@olivebee I am so sorry.

olivebee

@all Thanks so much for your condolences and kindness. We all left work early today for obvious reasons, and my husband gets home from work late on Fridays, so it's really nice to be able to turn to the Hairpin in sad and lonely times.

TheDragon

@olivebee
I am so sorry, and I am sending you and all of your office hugs.

vunder

@olivebee Cancer is a motherfucker, man. I'm sorry for your loss. How terrible.

AniaGosia

@olivebee Oh no! I am so sorry. (((hugs)))

EpWs

@olivebee Oh, honey, I am so so sorry. Hugs for you and for all your friend's friends and family. Good thoughts going out to all of you.

Craftastrophies

@olivebee Oh, man. Fuck cancer.

I'm so sorry. I hope there is peace to be found for you and yours.

EvilAuntiePeril

@olivebee I'm so sorry about that. Internet hugs.

feartie

My landlady wants to move in to the flat (she was away teaching abroad for the year) and so - sudden flat hunting time! Hooray. First place we looked at had gorgeous high ceilings, wooden floors, was incredibly cheap (515 quid a month, in Edinburgh) and...two cats. Two very friendly cats.

I love, love cats. But my husband has the worst allergies, and the place comes furnished. We were in the place a total of 10 minutes, and the rest of the evening he was breathing shallowly and puffing on his ventilators. Gah! Frustration.

The search continues. What more drama will it bring? I anticipate a house full of cute lizards next. No allergies, but perhaps a high risk of salmonella.

Emma Peel

@feartie Ugh, this happened to me earlier this year, and DC has the cats problem too! I kept finding wonderful, moderately affordable places... with cats. (And I like cats, but have allergies that make me wary of living with pets if I can avoid it.)

Chin up; something will turn up! It always does!

feartie

@Emma Peel Cheers! It will. I was just hoping for a lightning strike of greatness, and it just didn't work out.

angelan

@feartie Edinburgh high five? Good luck with the flat hunting. It is the WORST and is then followed by moving, but hopefully you will find something lovely.

feartie

@angelan High five for Edinburgh! We don't have brokers! Or cockroaches (I lived in NY and got to experience both of these. And bedbugs, but not wanting to jinx myself here).

angelan

@feartie Eeek bedbugs! Crossing New York off my list of potential places to live right now. I had mice in my last flat, and they were noisy and they made a mess, but at least you didn't see them that often.

feartie

@angelan Yeah, I have a mouse here. But it stays under the floorboards too. Bedbugs are REALLY friendly. New York is disgusting as well as intense/amazing.

tessamae

@feartie Wait, the flat comes WITH cats? Is this a thing?

feartie

@tessamae Nooo, the flat has cats in it currently, and will come with the furniture. Which the cats have lived on. My husband is massively allergic to dander and cleaning all dander out of soft furnishings is really really difficult. His magic power is going into a place he doesn't know and working out that a cat walked through there once in the last week.

He's also had respiratory problems lately due to the damp weather (worst since records began!) so it's just too much on top of that.

@serenityfound

Pro Tip: If your "breakfast" is a banana and a couple of scoops of peanut butter at 7:30a, one of those Healthy Choice Steamers will not be enough food for your lunch. Trust me.

Also, I just bought tix to see Elaine Stritch in LA for my Mom for Mother's day! Thanks, candybeans!

melis

@@serenityfound SHE CANCELLED HER SAN FRANCISCO SHOWS; YOU ARE DEAD TO ME

parallel-lines

@@serenityfound Sometimes I see those kinda things in healthy magazines where it's like, "eat these three pieces of turkey wrapped around a lettuce leaf for lunch" and I'm like, "As what, an appetizer?"

beanie

@@serenityfound Healthy Choice Steamers-favorite one GO! I vote grilled chicken pesto with vegetables.

@serenityfound

@melis SORRY. Is this a bad time to bring up that we have a mutual friend?

@beanie Um, I've only had the one today and it was some kind of Tuscan tomato and chicken thing? I guess it was pretty good?

Xanthophyllippa

@parallel-lines One of my "friends" offered to re-do my everyday diet for me once when I said I was looking for more variety, and I said yes because I wanted to see what she'd come up with. For breakfast, I got two slices of whole wheat toast brushed with olive oil, then for a midmorning snack, a cup of tea, two dried apricots, and six almonds. I stopped reading her email after that.

The Lady of Shalott

@Xanthophyllippa SIX ALMONDS? That is the worst diet tip anyone ever invented, ever, and I wish that they would STOP RECOMMENDING IT because the only way six almonds will make me less hungry is if they are covered in chocolate and accompanied by a cup of bridge mix, please.

melis

@@serenityfound WHO??

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa "Why don't you try something healthier, like a piece of whhhhole whhhheat toast with a banana spread on it? Because that's good."

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin "Yeah, no, I can't do that 'cause I'm not a liar."

melis

@frigwiggin THE BAMMER

@serenityfound

@melis James (last name unknown)! I got all excited when he said he knows you and told him you're like a Hairpin celebrity. Embarrassing, but true.

OhMarie

@frigwiggin I have had legit fantasies about a world in which cover comedians are a thing, like cover bands, and I can just do Maria's act in front of people. I love her so, so, so much.

frigwiggin

@melis "Did you eat my Southwestern-style Lean Cuisine?"

melis

@@serenityfound JAMES LOPEZ?? You need to email me right the hell now. Mallory dot elis at gmail.com. Oh my, oh my.

@serenityfound

@melis Yuppers. And email sent!

claireh

@parallel-lines ugh, riiight? my girlfriend does this and tries to get me to, but then i'm starving and hangry all day and it just doesn't work.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Lady of Shalott SIX ALMONDS. Dinner was something like a glass of milk, half a chicken breast, a half-cup of steamed broccoli, and three grains of salt.

Six damn almonds. I'd need that cup of bridge mix plus an apple and a bowl of chips and maybe some hot chocolate.

(Midmorning snack today was two little bags of Cheetos. Lunch was two giant slices of pizza, which I then threw up half an hour later because I was stressed at work today.)

ImASadGiraffe

@Xanthophyllippa Ugh I hate this kind of diet advice. I also hate that people are afraid to eat fat - eat good fat, and you'll stay satiated. Avocados, almond butter, real butter, coconut milk, coconut oil - it's the complex carbs that make you instantly full but then STARVING later because of the insulin spike.

I basically eat as much as I want of good food and don't worry about portions. And I'm the thinnest I've ever been in my life.

Xanthophyllippa

@ImASadGiraffe EXACTLY. As soon as I stopped worrying obsessively about what I was eating, I lost a lot of weight. And coconut oil? AMAZING. I have to keep myself from eating the entire thing with a spoon.

That settles it. I have to go buy a coconut tonight.

EternalFootwoman

@Xanthophyllippa Ew, what? I hate that stuff. I am hungry ALL THE TIME. Reading that sort of thing makes me feel like a freak.

Xanthophyllippa

@EternalFootwoman I KNOW, right? My desk drawer in my office looks like a grocery store. When I asked her about it, she said something like, "well, you SAID you wanted to lose weight..." and I was all, "yeah, but I don't want to pass out at work!"

ms. alex

@ImASadGiraffe Ugh, yes! When I made guacamole for my old office, my boss (who was a thin workaholic who lived off of Diet Mtn Dew) was all "oh, I better not eat this, so much fat!" And I wanted to just die. Fat? So much of THE BEST FAT EVER, thankyouverymuch!

mabellegueule

I am giving up gluten for May to see if it helps with tummy and sinus problems. Only 4 days in I am already feeling better and oh god I love gluten so much! I really don't want to have to give up all the delicious baked goods and pasta and chewy fluffy bread. But I actually do just feel _better_. Conflicting emotions... trying to be SUPER excited about millet.

Also that break-up post and a conversation with my coworker about someone we know who is 24 and went through a bad break-up and is worried about meeting people are kind of getting me down because I am 30 and have been single for 2 years and I worry that number will soon become "forever".

feartie

@mabellegueule Hey no-gluten over here too! I thought I had an intolerance, turns out no, but if I eat too much, my thyroid will decide to go hypo on me, turning me into a moderate-level troll (the kind who lives under a bridge, sobbing and cloth-headed). Remove the gluten - hypothyroidism magically went away.

Any questions on dealing with bread cravings...well, I'm still struggling but might have ideas.

EternalFootwoman

@mabellegueule I gave up gluten about two years ago and it was such a good decision. It's harder for me than being vegan (yeah, I'm super-fun to take to dinner), but is getting better since a lot of places are cluing into gluten sensitivities. Do you bake? Because while many of the packaged GF breads and baked goods are underwhelming, there are a TON of very good recipes out there. I have served GF baked goods to a lot of non-GF people and no one has ever noticed.

feartie

@mabellegueule http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.co.uk/ has some craveable stuff.

:Cinnamon Girl:

@feartie How did you find all of this out about your thyroid? I am fascinated by this.

feartie

@:Cinnamon Girl: I wanted to test if I was actually intolerant to gluten (I'd just cut it out before). So I talked to my doctor, and she said, go back on it for two months, we'll test your blood for the antibodies.

So I began my gluten feast. Eating a little more than normal because I had missed it so. Soon enough, I started feeling like shit, as I had before I made the connection. Just terrible, lethargic, depressed, bloated, all the usual gut nastiness I'd rather not go into. Before, gluten-free, I'd been absolutely fine, barr the odd stomach problem when I ate corn and sometimes rich food.

I got the test results back - negative for coeliac. But raised THS levels. The doctor talked about putting me on thyroid meds (for life, as is usually the case). She also said I have IBS, which made sense given the other stomach problems.

I stopped eating gluten again (hoping it would help) and got another test a month later. Thyroid back to normal. Absolutely fine.

Possibly the Gluten-feast and the elevated levels and concomitant feelings of URGH were a coincidence.

But I definitely feel shitty when I eat the stuff (as sometimes happens when I have to eat out), so the evidence is enough for me. Possibly more double-bind studies needed before reporting it to the general public as advice for IBS types.

gobblegirl

@mabellegueule My mother has given up wheat, and she is very happy. She seems to be able to find good fresh bread as well, and eats a lot of polenta, quinoa, rice, etc. And instead of baked goods, always order the creme brulee for dessert!

mabellegueule

@feartie Yes the lack of bloating and moodiness! And joint pains and lethargy! It is really astonishing but it helps to think "I feel good right now" when I really want a bagel.

How did your doctor determine you have IBS? I'm wondering if I have that too...

mabellegueule

@gobblegirl Ooh, creme brulee! That is an excellent thing to look forward to. My mom is also gluten intolerant, which is why I picked gluten as the first thing to eliminate to see what was going on, and she does have a variety of crackers and breads on hand but they are expensive... have stocked up on grains and polenta and thankfully I like all those things anyway. Quinoa yum!

mabellegueule

@feartie I've discovered that rice cakes are surprisingly satisfying. I never thought I would say that as I used to think they were like styrofoam...

ooh that site looks good.

feartie

@mabellegueule Rice cakes come in many flavours now too - I'm on the yeast extract kind at the moment. Yum!

The diagnosis was kind of a process of eliminatio, self-submitted symptoms, and looking back at my record over the course of a few years. It's actually more difficult than being gluten free, because more things are on the list of 'this will hurt me'. Some unexpected - like lettuce for example.

sarah girl

Also, just hit one week without Facebook. I didn't realize until now just how often I've been composing status updates in my head, without really knowing it...

I do feel a little bit isolated, but on the whole my life and head are a lot... quieter, if that makes sense. I don't have the constant buzz and chatter of other people's lives and links and drama and whatever; the communication I am having is more intentional, and less standing on the porch and yelling into the wind hoping that someone hears (i.e. likes or comments). I do think I'll probably re-activate at some point so I can see my cousin's baby pictures and things like that, but not for a while.

mabellegueule

@Sarah H. I keep telling myself I will try this and then I just go refresh the page. But I salute you!

sarah girl

@mabellegueule Yeah, I teetered on the fence for a long time, but the catalyst was realizing that a huge number of my Facebook friends were going to a party thrown by my ex last Friday, and I just knew that I would see a bunch of updates and pictures and be all "ugh I won't even look!" but then look and feel awful and blaaaaah. I know myself, and I had to go cold turkey!

Reginal T. Squirge

@Sarah H. I've been thinking about how much off-work time I spend on the computer. And I'm considering just going off of the internet altogether at home (except for downloading TV shows and email).

Basically, I need to learn that I don't need to watch EVERY funny and/or hip-hop-related video on the internet.

terrific

@Sarah H. So much respect. I'm a facebook addict in that I think I enjoy wallowing in misery whenever my ex updates or someone facebooks about him or whatever. Except then I blocked him and my life improved. Small changes!

wee_ramekin

@Sarah H. Girl! Weekly obligatory post by wee_ramz telling you how proud I am, and extolling the virtues of being Facebook-free! I just wanted to throw in some encouragement because that first little bit can be really tough.

Gertrude

IMPORTANT QUESTION:

how's that natural deodorant working out?

realtalk

@Gertrude SO WELL!!! I got the Soapwalla kind on Etsy and I am so unsmelly and not even that sweaty! It's like magic!

VolcanoMouse

@Gertrude TELL US. Because neither Tom's or this Liquid Rock crap are working out. Help me justify springing for Soapwalla!

realtalk

@VolcanoMouse it's only $16 with shipping and it will last forever! That's what I told myself and it seems to still be true. Tom's made me SMELLIER, and the Liquid Rock shit was no good at all. I used milk of magnesia with lavender oil for a while, and that works + is super cheap, but it takes forever to dry in your armpits. This is way better. JUST DO IT.

:Cinnamon Girl:

I like it a lot. I can't believe I paid 16$ for deoderant. But it seems worth it I guess?

Summer Somewhere

@Gertrude I bought mine a month or two ago and it's great! It keeps working even after sweaty bike rides! Except it burns when I put it on after shaving my pits (and for several days thereafter), so I manage it by keeping a stick of the regular stuff around and letting my armpit hair grow out as long as I can stand.

Also, a friend of mine showed me how to make my own, so I have that as my backup. But I really don't mind paying a queer lady in Brooklyn to do her own natural vegan business thing.

null

@:Cinnamon Girl: Yeah, when I got mine at home I was like... $16 for THIS? I haven't used it much yet, but it actually does seem like it'll last awhile.

quatsch

@Gertrude Oof, I like the Soapwalla a lot, but I need to come to terms with the fact that it's not really for me. I'm a bike commuter who is down with re-application throughout the day, but I seem to always end up with clammy armpits (there's a phrase that's going to be struck in my head) by late afternoon.

Stacy Worst

@Gertrude It really, really works!

I had trouble spreading it around at first, then I realized if I put a glob there and leave it for ten seconds it kinda melts from body heat and then it's easier to put on.

pearlforrester

@Gertrude I didn't post this in the original natural deodorant thread, because I didn't want to undermine a hardworking, awesome businesswoman, BUT. I've been making my own deodorant using a recipe from Chocolate and Zucchini: http://chocolateandzucchini.com/archives/2011/10/homemade_natural_deodorant.php.

Works better than any natural deodorant, and maybe conventional deodorant, I've ever used. I'm practically an evangelist for this stuff now.

alebee

@quatsch Oh man, tell me more. I bike everywhere and I'm definitely not going to carry the little tub thing around. And i sweat a lot. And I still try to wear nice clothes. Maybe I'm just doing it wrong.

all the kittens in the club gettin nipsy

@Gertrude So, I am like, a strongly scented person, if you know what I mean. I have tried every single kind of weird hippy deodorant out there, and none of them did anything for me... UNTIL NOWWWWWWWW! I am so happy I want to go to Brooklyn and hug the Soapwalla girl, but that would be weird and expensive. I was actually just smelling my armpits and thinking... oh wow I can totally leave the house tonight without changing my shirt! WIN AT LIFE!!!

dj pomegranate

My boyfriend has been at training out of state for four weeks and today he sent me a bouquet of bright yellow flowers at work with a note that says that when he feels down and lonely, he just remembers our life together in our tiny apartment and he smiles.

I AM DYING.

Happy Friday!

EpWs

@dj pomegranate THAT IS FUCKING ADORABLE, THAT'S WHAT

parallel-lines

Am I the only one who gets grumpy when I get notification emails that someone's commented on a post that's way old--like, dude we covered that and moved on, next topic.

(I'm just grumpy today because I have a sesmoid fracture and it fucking sucks)

hulia

@parallel-lines Oh, that DOES fucking suck. I am sorry. I had a sesmoid fracture in my foot and had to wear this gigantor boot for 8 weeks, right at the already awkward and stressful start of law school, for an f'ing hairline fracture in a 1/2"-long bone caused by wearing f'ing heels. Why yes, I am still bitter, how could you tell?

Does Axl have a jack?

@parallel-lines Ugh, that does indeed suck.
(After reading both your posts and googling what a sesmoid fracture is, I think I say this from experience, because I think I had one last year. So, also, thanks for solving my medical mystery?)

dtowngirl

@parallel-lines I had a sesmoid somehow lose its blood supply and start flaking off bone chips, and then I had to have it "cleaned up," which meant whittled down to an even smaller bone. For a tiny bone in your foot, it can cause a lot of trouble.

Craftastrophies

@parallel-lines Do you mean like, a week old? Because that's me, in a different timezone, catching up, and I'm sorry! But I feel so left out! Or do you mean, months old?

Also, ouch. That sucks big time. I hope you feel better soon.

EvilAuntiePeril

@parallel-lines me also in my timezone & with my crazy working hours... but I think of the FOT as a safe space for that kind of chicanery? In which case I am sorry.

Also sorry about your fracture. That sounds both painful and awkward. Really hope you get well soon.

Exene

Anyone ever go backpacking alone? My brother just canceled the trip we planned for next weekend (jerk), and I'm so bummed. It's un-reschedulable until next year, and I'm thinking of just fucking doing it solo. Thoughts?

realtalk

@Exene just make sure you have a plan for the worst case scenario. satellite phone, someone knows where you'll be and knows to send help if you're not back on time, etc etc. It can be really empowering/rewarding, but definitely listen to your gut instinct, especially with regards to other people in the area - in group backpacking, I've run into creepy people before and we were slightly nervous about what if they followed us, etc etc, and I'd be more worried about that if I were by myself.

haha, so many etceteras! But really, you should do it, just make a more detailed contingency plan than you would if you were not solo.

Gertrude

@Exene Yes. Have a very specific pick up plan, and tell someone (or several someones) your route. If it's not a well-traveled trail, also seriously consider a satellite phone, GPS tracker of some kind, or some sort of communication device that you can use in an emergency. It seems ridiculous, but I know two different people whose lives were probably saved by said devices (one's appendix burst, and the other lost the trail and hiked deep into absolute nowhere with very few supplies). Be safe and have fun!!

terrific

@Exene Do it. Read Wild by Cheryl Strayed if you haven't, then jet. You can do it!

LaLoba

@Exene Yeah do what they said! Also.. don't do like Gertrude's friend did and wander into deep trail-less wilderness. It will be a time of self discovery!

()
()

@Exene I go hiking alone. Leave a search-and-rescue hiking plan (like this one) with somebody just in case.

TheDragon

@Exene
I pretty much do this for work, so I would do it.
Just follow everyone's advice. Always have an "oh shit" plan.

ladida

@Exene I watched "127 Hours" for the first time this week... and it actually made me want to go hiking wicked bad. So do it, just bring a sharp knife, I guess.

annev6

I would love to be recovering from (another) surgery - if only because it is the PERFECT excuse for procrastinating all these writing projects I'm behind on while simultaneously tripping hard on some sweet meds, yo.
I hope it storms something fierce. I can't decide whether to go through with watching all the Game of Throneses or starting Breaking Bad or Enlightened or Girls or something. I am painfully behind on illegally downloading all the good tv shows I should be watching. (Though I am 3 episodes into Game of Thrones and not so far very psyched about spending that much more time on it. IT FEELS SO SLOW. Also rapey. Very rapey.)

Pela

@annev6 It gets better and less rapey starting episode 4 and it's awesome. (except for like S2E2 or 3, oholyjesusitakeitbacknoooo)

I get so excited for Game Time, I watch it Sunday nights with my grumpy goat of a gentleman after he downloads it and we eat kale and drink wine. He's a human, not a real goat, though the kale might have led you the other direction there. Anyway. I like the idea of "Game Time" that has nothing to do with sports.

melis

Today I am equal parts grateful and bewildered at the anonymous coworker who returned my lost purse to the front desk but took my (highly strategic) five dollars. Thanks for not stealing anything else!!! Enjoy that Subway footlong or whatever else you can get for five dollars these days.

Reginal T. Squirge

@melis If you find a lost article, cash is always up for grabs, guilt-free. All in the game.

PistolPackinMama

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter Maybe the cash was already gone when the returner found it?

Or people are semi-awesome. That could be it.

Faintly Macabre

@melis When I was 14, I lost a purse for a month after leaving it in a store in my sister's college town. (I had called everywhere else I'd been that day but kept having dreams about that store, so finally called them and they had it! Good customer service.) Every single thing was still in the purse when they shipped it to me--except $20 in cash. I was happy enough to have my bag back, but it's still a little sad that someone would steal money from what was clearly kid's wallet.

melis

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter Psh, I put a huge ancient Abyssinian curse on that five dollars, so it's their loss, all I have to do is wait like 5000 years and I am set

melis

also i was going to get that subway footlong

it was going to be a veggie sub

with extra jalapenos

because you don't have to pay for them when you get them extra

dtowngirl

@melis I'll mail you $5. Nobody should have to go sandwich-less

Cat named Virtute

Home from amazing restful restorative trip to hometown to see friends, family, and fwb. Am trying desperately hard not to be depressed about jobhunting--I got into a serious funk about this afternoon, ugh. I have some spiced vanilla rye and just decided to make asparagus pizza for dinner, so things are looking up.

What's the word these days on "references available upon request" on a CV for admin/office/uni-based type jobs? One of my references is being elusive and I really don't want to wait until I can confirm with him before I send out applications, and I know he'll give me a better/more topical reference than other people I could include (I do have a second reference of course, but need at least two.)

realtalk

@Marika Pea@twitter I want to know this too! My professor who is my main reference just had a baby and I'm not sure when she'll be up and about, so.

ayo nicole

@Marika Pea@twitter I was advised once that you don't need to add "references available upon request," because if the company wants them they're going to ask for them regardless.

New Commenter Name

@Marika Pea@twitter
Job hunting is depressing. I had no idea until finding out my job ends in 6 months. Seriously depressing. I have been getting back in touch with former coworkers pretty much asking them to help me find a job. It makes me feel like such a loser.
So yeah, I know what you mean. Asparagus pizza sounds really cool.

I would wait on the references until specifically requested.

Xanthophyllippa

@Marika Pea@twitter True that if they want references, they'll ask you for them. But I'd suggest putting the references on a separate sheet and writing "References on attached sheet" instead; that way, the interviewer doesn't have to call you, leave a message, wait for you to get back to them, then call your folks.

claireh

@Marika Pea@twitter you really don't need to include references unless specifically asked to do so in the application. employers know they can get them from you if they need 'em. most companies don't bother unless it's pretty much in the bag.

EpWs

@Marika Pea@twitter I've heard (I think this was in an Ask A Manager resume thread?) that it's totally fine not to include references/references to references (what) at all--the company will ask you for them when they need them, and up until that point you're protecting the privacy of your references. Also, once the company requests them, you can give your refs a heads-up to let them know they'll likely be contacted soon.

Loz
Loz

I'm about to take a study break to go the movies by myself. In the middle of the day. But only at Arclight, that way it feels classy instead of sad!

@serenityfound

@Loz ...I don't understand why this would be sad. Non-inclusive list of movies I have seen by myself: 300, Watchmen, J. Edgar, Journey 2 (to review for a site), Cabin in the Woods, Bridesmaids (the first time), Dan in Real Life. Plays I have gone to by myself: Rock of Ages. And prices are better in the middle of the day!

Loz
Loz

@@serenityfound I've only done it once before to see Like Crazy... there were only 6 other people in the theater and I had the time of my life.

ayo nicole

@Loz Seeing movies alone is the best. Especially when your usual movie buddies react to evvvvvvvverything (I have one friend who goes "Mmm!" all through movies, as in "that is a shame" not "that looks delicious").

Reginal T. Squirge

@@serenityfound Fuck all of you people that have been to the movies alone so few times that you can count the ways. If I didn't go to the movies alone, I would never really see anything.

@serenityfound

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter For reals. Even when I was in college, I could rarely get folks to go to the movies with me. Always the movies alone, but still always a good time! (Except Journey 2....)

Does Axl have a jack?

@@serenityfound Kind of off-topic, but aaahhh, Rock of Ages! Touring or Broadway? I saw it it about three too many times, one of them by myself. So good.

laurel

@Loz Going to the movies by yourself is the opposite of sad. I have an actual good time doing it.

camanda

@Loz Love by-myself movie time! My taste in movies, uhm, varies wildly from most of my friends', so I see a lot by myself. My best friend will do basically anything with me but I'm not sure that even she is willing to see Skyfall with me in November. HER LOSS.

beanie

@Loz dude, the Arclight makes me feel ritzy. Have fun!

null

@Loz I actually have fond memories of seeing certain movies alone... for example, Talk to Her. Then there are movies I wish I'd seen alone, such as Irreversible and Antichrist. heh.

aliceandstuff

@klaus Almost every single movie I have seen for the past five years (minus the superhero ones) has been on my own. Do not be afraid. Do not feel sad or creepy or whatever.

AniaGosia

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter I used to go to the movies by myself all the time and I loved it more than anything. Now I have a baby and never go see movies and it makes me kind of sad!

_questingbeast

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter Amen. I lived by an awesome cinema when I was a first year at university and not that thrilled by it; I used to leave bad parties and go to the midnight showing. The Searchers! Alien! So many good films were seen alone, a bit drunk.

Reginal T. Squirge

@AniaGosia That's terrible that you don't go to the movies but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT BRINGING YOUR CRYING BABY INTO THE THEATER.

anachronistique

@aliceandstuff See, I am sad about going to see Avengers by myself, but only because all my nerd friends either saw it at midnight (ha ha ha ha NOPE) or already had plans or were out of town. Superhero movies are meant to be shared! Other movies I will totally see by myself!

ladida

@Loz The one time I went to the movies by myself, I was the only one in the theater, and it was AWESOME. The movie took place in my favorite city and had one of my favorite actors in it, so it was a win all around.

AniaGosia

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter Oh my goodness, never! *clutches pearls* there will be movies again in the future, I am sure!

Loz
Loz

Update: I saw the Five Year Engagement, it was meh. But I saw Charlize Theron in the lobby!!!!!!

frigwiggin

Ugh, so grouchy that Special Effects dye is apparently out of stock/backordered everywhere right now--I wanted to get purple for my friend's wedding! I even ordered it from a website that had all the dyes listed, but grew suspicious when the 1-3 day shipping window went by and I didn't hear anything, and they responded to my semi-crabby email by sadly telling me they would send it out immediately when it came back in stock. How about listing that on your website, people?!

Now I'll just have to get Punky.

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin Also (I'll try to keep my blathering to one thread so it isn't stippled throughout the entire thing) today is the last day of regular hours at work, which means I have to be here at 7:30 on Monday. Huuuurgh. I know that the summer hours setup means we get to leave at 1:00 every Friday, but huuuuurgh.

Craftastrophies

@frigwiggin Uh, yuck. 7:30 is not an ok time to have to have your game face on.

I am considering re-whacky-colouring my hair, but I can't decide what colour! I might ease back in with slightly unnatural red and work my way through purple to blue.

frigwiggin

@Craftastrophies Reds are lovely! I've never gone, like, cherry red before, but I love it on other people.

just reading in a boat no big deal

Finally finally finally finally. Open thread, I thought you'd abandoned us.

I'm so close to the end of this semester, you all. I've written more pages in the last week than in the first half of the semester, combined, and I just have two measly short papers left in the next 48 hours. But the family/friends who were supporting me in this effort have to be out of town this weekend, and I'm feeling a bit less-than-up-to-the-task. This is not ideal, as mental health things are what threw off this semester in the first place, and led to this mad rush to finish properly. Kind words would be so welcome. I just have to man up for a little bit longer!!

The Lady of Shalott

@just reading in a boat no big deal You can do it!!! You are SO close!!!

sarah girl

@just reading in a boat no big deal This is what helped me in my semester where I had lots of struggles: Write up a list in bright marker of what you have left to work on, with big check boxes by each. Tape it to the wall. As you finish each item, put a big CHECK by it. It's so nice to be able to look and see EXACTLY what you have left to do, especially if your brain is trying to stress you out and make things seem more difficult than they are!

Xanthophyllippa

@just reading in a boat no big deal You are what I plan to do this weekend!

Er. Um. I mean, I plan to take a book out into my kayak and bobble around the lake a bit.

EpWs

@just reading in a boat no big deal You are ALMOST THERE! Hearty amen to the big awesome checklist. Break things down into manageable pieces and celebrate your progress! You will be done SO SO SOON.

charlesbois

I had a bunch of fun comments, but MCA died, so now I'm sad. Well, I get to go watch the Tigers tonight and then have my mom's birthday lunch tomorrow, so it's ok. Peace everyone.

youresmalltime

All the movies! I have no idea what. And no oral surgery. JUST SAVING MONEY TO PREPARE FOR MY DISNEY WORLD VACATION IN TWO WEEEEEEKS. Who's counting.

sarah girl

@youresmalltime I'm going to Disney World in September, I'm SO EXCITED!!!! I keep telling people and they kind of turn their head and go "...oh! Okay?" And I'm like fuck y'all, Disney owns.

VolcanoMouse

@youresmalltime Eeee, Disney! Tell me about it! I've never been, but we got quite a lot of Disney gift cards for Christmas this year that we STILL haven't managed to use.

The logistics of figuring out hotels and money and stuff makes me nauseous. I am not an organized person/eager to spend a week reading about all the tips and tricks you must employ to plan a Disney jaunt.

...and so sorry if this comment is vastly nonsensical. This kid needs to go eat a meal to regulate the brain-sugars.

ayo nicole

@youresmalltime Have fun! Now that you are an adult, you really have to drink around the world at Epcot. And wear mouse ears.

youresmalltime

@VolcanoMouse Well, when I called to make a payment they informed me this will be my 29th trip. Soooo.

I love it. It started as a family tradition, then something I felt obligated to do as a teen, then the place that I go where everything is totally chill and I don't have to worry and I just can drink and eat and be hella merry.

It is always busy, always lively, always surprising. Insanely inclusive. And it is not as expensive or hard to plan as you think! I promise!

terrific

@Sarah H. Disney World is the best, haters to the left.

youresmalltime

@ayo nicole Trois Pistoles. Boddington's. Creme de cassis and champagne. Prosecco. Beer and pretzel. Plum wine cooler. Margarita. Done.

Well, then hangover.

boysplz

@youresmalltime Have you ever read anything by Cory Doctorow? He's Canadian but has this fascination with Disneyland/world and Disney the company that comes out in a lot of his books, it's wacky and fun. You can actually read Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom for free on his site. If you've been to Disneyworld 29 times I think you would probably enjoy it!

Megasus

@Sarah H. Disney World is great, and I am 26 and would totally go back and DEFINITELY drink around the world at Epcot

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

Aaah my holidays start in two hours and I am not ready to leave ooh so much stuff to finish also I am going on a plane and I haven't done so for like five years and I'm worried I'm going to sleep through it or miss connecting flight or they decide I'm a terrorist ahhh

@serenityfound

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) oooooo where are you going? And everything will be fine!

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@@serenityfound Honeymoon! Quebec! deep breaths!

Exene

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) Where ya goin?

The Lady of Shalott

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) YESSSS!!!!! Awesome! Where in Quebec? (Quebec City? BEAUTIFUL.)

Exene

@Exene whoops tardy 2 the party re your destination

Bon Voyage!

@serenityfound

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) Double OOOOOOO. I've heard Quebec is fantastic and congrats on the nuptials!

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@@serenityfound Montreal. We got married last year, but I got sick after the wedding, so no trip. I am debating whether or not to see if there are other Pinners in the area next weekend but I have to check with Fig 2 if he wants to hang out with other people on what is ostensibly our honeymoon.

The Lady of Shalott

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) Congratulations! My parents went on their honeymoon to Montreal in the 70s and they had a lovely time--they stayed at the Queen Elizabeth and had a superfancy dinner at the Beaver Club, and got a recipe for banana bread that is now legendary among our friends and family. Have a wonderful time!!!!

OhMarie

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) DUDE QUEBEC IS THE BEST!!! Also this time of year is really good--the people who live there are sooooooo psyched that it's not freezing cold outside that it's like a party.

Cat named Virtute

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) Oh, I remember you posting about that--have so much fun! I'll be around if you want to meet some local 'Pinners, but no worries if you just want to hang with your sweetie.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@Marika Pea@twitter Heyoo so I talked to Fig 2 and he is down with the socializing, and I am game, so should we plan something now? Or spam next Friday's open thread? I am there all next weekend and so far our schedule looks very relaxed. Oh god I hope it doesn't rain the entire time.

(Also I had a gigantic bowl of Froyo for supper at the local frozen yogurt bar so I am currently in sugar coma, def helps with chilling out heh heh)

Cat named Virtute

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) Oh yay! What sort of thing would you guys like to do, and when is a good time? I work Wednesdays and Sundays, but otherwise underemployment means I'm super free. Cute bar? Dive bar? Coffee? Diner? Botanical gardens? Bagels?

Cat named Virtute

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) Also! Be aware that there are MAJOR student protests happening in Montreal right now. Like, thousands of students marching with protest signs in the streets around the downtown and the Plateau neighbourhood, where I think I remember you said you were staying. It shouldn't affect you too much, but maybe keep an eye on the news (local CBC radio 1 half-hour news reports should mention it) to make sure a) that the nice street you want to walk down isn't being overrun with marching and b) you're not near the protesters at night, not because Montreal is generally very dangerous, but because there's been a few incidents of violence more recently, and it's probably best to just avoid the whole scene.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@Cat named Virtute Yes I saw the news - hopefully the agreement they signed today holds, but if not, we'll just be circumspect. (This would actually be the first mass demonstration I would ever see in real life if it's going on...the biggest thing we've had here has been about 200 people.) I have no intention of getting teargassed just yet.

I think anytime Thursday to the following Tuesday would be fine - botanical garden or bagels are fun. Fig 2 isn't much of a drinker, and my bedtime is 10 pm so I'm not much fun at night. You can shoot me an email at fig1akamyfanwy at gmail dot com and we can hash something out.

ayo nicole

I just need to say this and get it off my chest: there are few things more frustrating than pouring your heart out to a friend only for them to reply with "wow"/"oh"/"yikes"/"that sucks"/etc. ESPECIALLY when said friend is always draining you for advice and support. Ugh. Right?

terrific

@ayo nicole YES. I feel like I am an endless well of support and aide to some of my friends, and don't understand why they can't respond in kind. What the hell.

ayo nicole

@terrific I would probably drop dead from the shock if some of my friends ever responded to me the way I do to them. Even hearing "do you want some ice cream?" would be a miracle.

PistolPackinMama

@ayo nicole yeah, wow. That's frustrating!

j/k

Yeah, it really is. Reciprocity of energy is sometimes a really important thing. Soul sucking vampires are the worst.

dj pomegranate

@ayo nicole ESPECIALLY when they then change the subject?! The worst.

frigwiggin

@ayo nicole Aw. :( This sucks, but I also have sympathy because sometimes on the other end of things I just have no idea what to say. But then again, saying "I don't know what to say, but I am here for you" can also be helpful, and at least honest. (When my best friend died, an ex-roommate from college called me up and said, "I really don't know what to say dude, but I'm sorry and I just wanted to call" and it was sweet and honest, and I didn't know what to say either so it was okay.)

Xanthophyllippa

@ayo nicole YES. Especially if they then follow up with, "So anyway, about this guy I like..."

Faintly Macabre

@frigwiggin Same here. I usually try to give at least some substantial advice/sympathy, but often I either have too little life experience to be confident in my advice or, if it's a self-inflicted problem, know my true feelings wouldn't be helpful. But I try to make the former clear, at least.

Plant Fire

@ayo nicole That's so frustrating! I mean, I sort of get where they are coming from because I am terrible at coming up with what to say but at the very least they could pause and gather their thoughts and offer advice? And if they have no advice they could let you know they're there for you/offer help/be someone to talk to. At least that way you feel like they listened.

lora.bee

@ayo nicole You can pour your heart out to us!!

ayo nicole

@Sea Ermine @Faintly Macabre @frigwiggin You guys are all right. Sometimes you can't give advice but I think it's so important to let the other person know that you were listening closely and at least tried to process what she said.

TheDragon

@ayo nicole
I almost never have anything useful to say, so I kind of try to be shocked/horrified/supportive/outraged/sad/joyful with/for them? Ehh friendship is hard :(

ayo nicole

@lora.bee Thank you! It's such a long story that it'd take me forever to set the whole thing up, but basically I'm worried about someone and kind of afraid for the way things are going to turn out. I might have a more concise tale for the next FOT?

camanda

Ahhh, Friday! I'm working tomorrow, though. Day 9 of 9 straight. SOB. But if that's how I have to get hours, then I shall do that. Yesterday I worked for three different managers in order to get eight hours. Crazeballs.

I have done basically nothing but work this week. I am so boring today. I actually spent most of the week not knowing what day it is because my last day off was last Thursday.

dale

Doggone it, tried to do some fancy ascii drawing here and it didn't work.

Pet photos!
pinpets.tumblr.com
Submit your pics at pinpets.tumblr.com/submit – make sure to use the photo post option instead of text post (you’ll still have room to write something if you photo post) and put “- submitted by [your name]” in the writeup too! We have lots of pages of verrah cute animals so far, but keep them coming!

frigwiggin

@dale I love seeing everyone's pets! I only have one and I've already submitted two pictures of her, so unless we want it to turn into Pin Pets But Really Only Flat Tire Pictures I will refrain.

dale

@frigwiggin Oh, don't worry, I could easily turn it into All My Shots Of Neville but I figure if I space them out, one every month or so, no one will notice!

fuck fuck fuck

@dale i just submitted a picture but i was stupid and signed my 'pin name in the post and then put my real name in the "name" box. I AM EMBARRASSED.

dale

@lighter fluid I can edit it before it gets posted! I'll take your real name off?

fuck fuck fuck

@dale thank youuu!

AniaGosia

@dale I have no idea how to use Tumblr! I have the app but am totally baffled by everything. I will try to figure it out because I have a very cute pet!

dale

@AniaGosia If the pinpets.tumblr.com/submit page doesn't work for you, then email me with the picture and the details & I'll post it! I made a special gmail for it, so it's pinnerpets at gmail dot com.

ms. alex

@dale Ooh imsasadgiraffe has bichons! My family's dog is a bichon, and he's kind of stupid and now he's blind and deaf and old, but he is so cute and lovable. I didn't think I'd miss him when I moved across the country, but I totally do, and make my family have me say Hi to him when we skype.

terrific

So my roommate and I are throwing a Cinco de Mayo party tomorrow and I'm a little panicked because: what if no one shows up!? I don't know tooooo many people here and my parties have a tragic history of sparse attendance! I just want people to come and have fun. We have so much alcohol.

I mean, ahem, if there are any NYC-area pinners who like tequila and beer and fun friends, I'm your lady. Yes, I'm inviting the Hairpin to my house party. Deal.

realtalk

@terrific That sounds SO FUN. I wish I were in NYC! Hairpin house party what what

dj pomegranate

@terrific I would totally show up to a NYC Cinco de Mayo house party. You should invite via Pinup Google group?!

byrneunit

@terrific if no one shows up to your nyc cinco de mayo house party, you can totally come to my brooklyn cinco de mayo house party that also no one will probably show up to. there will be pulled pork tacos! that i am eating. alone.

ayo nicole

@terrific Um hi, I would totally show up at your Cinco party and do tequila shots.

metermaid

@terrific:

Girl, I'm in NYC and I love meeting new people! Not so much a tequila girl but give me a beer, some new faces and nice weather and I'm the happiest clam in the city. I'm sure people will come to your party though, and if all else fails just put an impromptu 'pinner google groups alert out!

Lee Van Queef

This is related to the "creeper" thing on the Sex Diaries post, but I thought maybe it belonged here? Anyway, I could seriously use some not-work-related creeper advice. There is a dude who lives across the street who creeps me out because he is always coming up to me when I am entering/leaving my house to try to have long-winded conversations about whatever. I honestly do not know how to tell this guy to leave me the fuck alone. My landlord seems to like him, because he asks him to do minor maintenance work when the toilet is running or whatever, which makes it harder.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas "Don't let me keep you" if you're trying to be polite. Shut him down before he gets on a roll. Chances are he's not so good at social cues if he's trying to do this while you're leaving/entering so you may have to be very direct.

Reginal T. Squirge

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas Try, "Leave me the fuck alone."

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter Yes, that too.

leastimportantperson

@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas I almost feel like you have to go through the motions that YOU want to go through with this person. So when you're done saying, "Hi" in the morning on your way out the door, just keep walking no matter what. If he follows you to your car, just get in and close the door. When you're trying to get into your house and he won't stop talking, just shut the door. No apologies, no explanation. Doesn't matter if he's in the middle of a sentence. You just have to have the interaction you're willing to have. Because what he's doing is forcing you to have the interaction that he wants. Give it back to him full force.

PistolPackinMama

@leastimportantperson That is such a smart way to put it. Have made note to self.

Craftastrophies

@leastimportantperson Seconding PPMama. That is fantastic advice - I am so bad at these situations, I need to remind myself that it's not ME that's being rude.

I've actually had a lot of success with saying things like 'I can't talk right now, I'm busy' or, on the bus 'Sorry, I don't want to talk to you, I want to read my book'. I have been really surprised by how often people respond with 'oh, sorry! No problem!' which makes me think they are missing the social cues, not being deliberately creepy.

spoondisaster

The semester is over! All of my friends are graduating and I am not! woooo....

PistolPackinMama

@spoondisaster for students...

I have 300 pages of reading to do this week. Yes. And I have procrastinated picky grading of participation points, so I have a weekend of snivelly work to do.

Blah.

Last day of classes, yo!

I got my first year seminar students a pony keg of rootbeer and icecream, and we had floats on the beach behind the abbey church.

And womens' rugby game tomorrow. Wooot!

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama I set up my Excel grade formula today. It took me almost half an hour of doing and re-doing the equation by hand because sometime between December and now, I forgot that Excel needs a row number to do sums. Duh.

Also, I am 10 days from getting in approximately 750 pages worth of technical reports to grade. I have to turn them around within a week. I expect to be very cranky between May 14 and 21.

RK Fire

@PistolPackinMama: Aww, yay for women's rugby game! How long have you been playing and which position(s)? I used to play in college.

Two-Headed Girl

@spoondisaster SUCH FUN RIGHT?!?! I'm graduating in December. All of these statuses about "finally done!" or "onto real life!" or "oh god grad school" are making me kind of sad, but whatever. Think of it as a victory lap.

PistolPackinMama

@RK Fire I play the position of "faculty adviser to the team" and it involves showing up and cheering.

But I want to learn in a big way! Rugby women are badass, and I am built for the game, I think.

spoondisaster

@Two-Headed Girl I like to think of it as "yesss I get an extra year until I have to be out in the real world", but "victory lap" sounds much better.

lindackerite

Hello Hairpin! I made the decision to delurk a couple weeks ago, after I applied/got accepted into the Philly Facebook group but felt that I should introduce myself here on a Friday Open Thread first (Don't ask me why, it just seemed like proper etiquette, especially in anticipation of the upcoming Philly pinup!). However, I rarely have the time to read the site during the day and mostly catch up in the evenings after commenting is kind of sone for the day and kept missing out on said thread. Anyway, just happy to be here and wanted to poke my head in and say hi!! I look forward to commenting on Tamora Pierce novels/House Hunters drinking games/Trauma-ramas/etc. forthwith!

ayo nicole

@aheapingspoonful Hi! Welcome!

Faintly Macabre

@aheapingspoonful Haha, applied! We're a selective bunch. Hello, and see you in person soon!

The Lady of Shalott

@aheapingspoonful House Hunters drinking game? Tell me more.

lindackerite

@Faintly Macabre Closed groups are so exclusive sounding and I am easily unnerved (although I get over it quickly). IRL, coffee shops can be the worst...and I was a barista!

lindackerite

@The Lady of Shalott I hope the more knowledgeable people from that thread can chime in, but shots when people talk about things like how small the rooms are (esp on HHI and esp Americans obv), how they need granite countertops/stainless steel appliances, double sinks, complain about "all the work" it is to paint/update the faucets and things... It is so addicting but I think that show has ruined me, I have gone home and had REAL CONVERSATIONS with my mom about what would they would need to do if the family home was to be on TV.

The Lady of Shalott

@aheapingspoonful That show is the worst, but so addictive. Like, I know that it's totally, totally fiction and the people have already bought one of the homes and everything, but they can't come up with anything more realistic to say than "Ugh, the paint."

And dear God in heaven save us all from the stainless-steel appliances. I HATE THEM. I think they are so ugly and industrial-looking! And the granite! I think it is going to look SO dated in a few years, I swear.

I, uh, watch a lot. I have similar feelings about Say Yes to the Dress.

lindackerite

@The Lady of Shalott Say Yes to the Dress! In a time I may/may not be proud of I watched the only season on Netflix instant in one sitting. I do not get the ones with mesh/translucent type panels and boning.

EternalFootwoman

@aheapingspoonful So, you're trashed halfway through the episode? Sign me up!

@The Lady of Shalott The same people who demand granite countertops and stainless-steel appliances are horrified at how "dated" everything is. They will also spend the rest of their lives replacing everything they own and getting "the latest thing".

Marquise de Morville

@aheapingspoonful I watched entirely too much HHI. I was quite amused with the guy trying to buy a French Farmhouse and complaining about the lack of ensuite bathroom for the master bedroom. The horror! Also, why are there always n+1 toilets for n bedrooms?

lindackerite

@Marquise de Morville !!! I have no idea re: toilets but it reminded me of the woman moving to Norway who HAD TO HAVE A/C.

There are a lot of complaints about stairs, especially in foreign countries, that leave me perplexed.

I can't seem to quit it though, and I haven't gotten into the other shows like Property Virgins or Holmes on Homes or Love It or List It. However, I caught an ep of Interior Therapy on Bravo (I know) last week and got sucked into this mother/daughter drama-cum-home remodel...it's like the Us Weekly version of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition's People.

twocats

I am taking the MCAT in less than three weeks and I have never been more nervous for anything in my life! Well, maybe that's not true. But I am super nervous!

realtalk

@twocats YOU WILL ROCK IT. I took the MCAT last year and I didn't study enough but I did fine. You will too! Bring snacks for the break times, it really helped me.

twocats

@realtalk Thank you for the vote of confidence and the tip! I love snacks.

TheCheesemanCometh

@twocats I've proctored the MCAT a few times, and I second the snacks. The most important thing to remember is to try and breathe, and know that it's going to be ok. Just get to the testing site on time, and try to relax!

True story, the first MCAT I proctored, this teeny-tiny (like maybe 90 pounds soaking wet) young lady came in to test, and as I was having her put everything in her locker except for her snacks, she took out: three full sized candy bars, two bananas, two bottles of Vitamin Water, a container with two giant cinnamon rolls, and another with a half-dozen pastries of some kind. It was amazing, like the Mary Poppins snack bag! You probably don't need that much (but it all looked reeeeally good.)

dale

Further to the gigantic book thread from earlier this week, is there a Hairpin group on goodreads, already? I couldn’t find one. If not, does someone want to start it? I spent the remainder of that day adding titles from the thread so I think now I’m over 300 books!

terrific

@dale I just made one. Because I'm cool: here!!!

dale

@terrific YOU *ARE* THAT COOL. Yayy!

Nutria

@terrific You are awesome! Thanks for setting it up.

whizz_dumb

I'm "working from home" today. This means sitting on my couch in my underwear, listening to the Cubs game on the radio, and drinking iced coffee.

Xanthophyllippa

@whizz_dumb I love "working from home." It's code for "pants? who needs pants?"

TheDragon

@Xanthophyllippa
I just had a pantless phone interview :)

whizz_dumb

Reminds me of that Talking Heads song, Crosseyed and Pantsless.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon WIN! Is it for a pantless job?

whizz_dumb

@Xanthophyllippa I bet The Kendragon got the job. Being pantsless during phone interviews increases your likability 1000%. It's the relaxed tone in your voice from being free of the tyranny of pants.

Cat named Virtute

@The Kendragon Hero status to you!

TheDragon

@whizz_dumb
I wish I had your confidence in my pantless interview skills.
I will be able to report back by next open thread!

@Xanthophyllippa
NO! It is for field work in Wyoming and I would come home a bloody mess if I went pantless

@Marika Pea@twitter
Thank you!

Can I get a cape? To go with my bare legs?

Cat named Virtute

@The Kendragon CAN YOU!

(you can!)

TheDragon

@Marika Pea@twitter
CONSIDER IT DONE.

whizz_dumb

@The Kendragon Field work in Wyoming sounds awesome. Good luck! Field work is the best. In fact, I've been writing about getting to a particular job-site and I'll be submitting it to Edith eventually.

Xanthophyllippa

@whizz_dumb That might explain why my teaching evals were so high when I taught my online course - in a bathrobe sitting on my balcony, natch.

TheDragon

@whizz_dumb
I'm very excited. I've been working my way through the American West! I've done field work in New Mexico, Colorado, Idaho, and Montana.

whizz_dumb

@Xanthophyllippa Badass.

@The Kendragon Badass.

paper bag princess

I am hopping on a plane tomorrow morning and going to Peru!!! It's sort of a last minute trip, and by myself, and I am terrified and so excited. I've never really traveled on my own before. It will be my own Eat Pray Love except hopefully way less obnoxious, and only two weeks' worth!

PistolPackinMama

@lizzle AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ENVY!

I hope you have a blast.

Plant Fire

@lizzle Enjoy it!!! And if you're not vegetarian try some guinea pig (I've always wanted to) just for the experience. Even if that grosses you out Peruvian food in general is awesome. Have fun!

paper bag princess

@Sea Ermine I really want to try guinea pig! I am so excited to try everything! Eeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

OxfordComma

I just made those lime tequila shots! Gonna get all drank at the Renaissance Faaaaire tomorrow!

(anyone in LA, c'mon by!)

LeafySeaDragon

@OxfordComma LLLAAAMMMMEEE my local faire isn't til spetember? WTF and this is the first year in 16 years i will not be going to glenhelen. you can see a bunch of photos of mine up in the renfaire facebook of my kids. cry cry cry i'm so jelis! are you dressing?

OxfordComma

@LeafySeaDragon : Aw, man!

And giiiiiiirl, I *work* Faire! :) Playing French this year, and it has been a total blast!

LeafySeaDragon

@OxfordComma lol i have never worked, i just go and nerd it up all over that place! i'm trying to pull together some northern looks from GOT for my fam this year. have a blast for me!

fuck fuck fuck

my boyfriend is coming back from europe in three weeks! i haven't seen him for FOUR MONTHS. i'm amazed i actually made it.

fuck fuck fuck

@lighter fluid i guess i haven't made it yet...but let's assume i will please.

musicello11

@lighter fluid My boyfriend is COMING to Europe to see me in 3 weeks. It will have been 5 months. Imagine if Skype didn't exist..

missupright

@lighter fluid In 25 days I am going to England to visit my boyfriend and in TWO MONTHS AND A WEEK I will get to be in the same city as him forEVER and oh god if Skype didn't exist it would be The Worst Thing.

Xanthophyllippa

I had ALL SORTS of things I wanted to ask in the FOT this week and now I can't remember ANY of them. Ergo, I'm just posting this as a placeholder in case I remember any of them later tonight.

Move along; nothing to see here.

Prostitute Robot From The Future

*Stares at @Xanthophyllippa

Xanthophyllippa

@disgruntled co-worker *side-eyes you*

RK Fire

@Xanthophyllippa: I feel like I have this problem every Friday and I'm thinking the only answer is to keep a google doc where you keep track of all of your desired FOT topics.

Prostitute Robot From The Future

@Xanthophyllippa *mega stink eye*

Xanthophyllippa

@disgruntled co-worker *evil eye*

@RK Fire YES! I should do that. I mean, I keep a running doc of all the blog posts I want to write; why not FOT topics?

Prostitute Robot From The Future

@Xanthophyllippa *eye of the tiger*

Xanthophyllippa

@disgruntled co-worker *brown-eyed girl*

Craftastrophies

@Xanthophyllippa I actually wrote myself a list of things I wanted to talk about. And then I sort of missed the window so I only posted one. Oh, well.

Xanthophyllippa

@Craftastrophies Post the rest! I'll come find you and comment on them.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@RK Fire or you could just "abuse" the fashion club d-list as your daily open thread a la the rest of us.

Craftastrophies

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Aaaah does everyone else do this? Do i need in on the list?

@Xan I will! When I get back from delicious afternoon tea with my cousins. Yum.

RK Fire

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me: wait, what? what's the fashion club d-list? is this another google group?

Changeling

Partner is graduating tomorrow, eee! And we're looking at an apartment on Sunday, hopefully.
In other news, I finally found a filling breakfast that I can make the night before and eat in five minutes in the morning. Behold, overnight oats!

dale

I’m all over this thread today, sorry! I wonder if any of you have digital camera recommendations (or, conversely, things to stay away from). Our two cameras are on the way out, and I’m going to need to replace. Of course I have impossible parameters, because I’d really like something with a fuller body (that feels more like a camera) vs. point-and-shoot/compact, but I can’t afford a full $500-2000 dSLR.
A friend’s dad has offered to sell me his Olympus EPL1, which is not a bad model, but I just can’t tell if I’m missing something closer to what I want? I’ve been reading cnet reviews for a few days and I’m a bit dizzy.

Xanthophyllippa

@dale I love my Nikon D40, and if you're willing to buy something refurbished, Cameta Camera often has excellent online deals (as in, I got my D40 a year after Nikon introduced the model for half price). I've bought three cameras from them and never had any issues whatsoever.

For point-and-shoots, even though I'm fiercely brand-loyal to Nikon, I love my little Fuji Finepix XP20. I got it because I wanted something waterproof I could take in the kayak and something small I could carry around in my pocket during the normal day; Nikon didn't have a waterproof model then. The Fuji takes some damn fine pictures.

Faintly Macabre

@Xanthophyllippa Yeah, if you're just looking for a step up from a P&S, the D40 is great. It's pretty light, easy to use, has crazy good battery life, and takes pictures that are miles nicer than most cameras'. I'm hoping to get something a little more professional soon, but in 3 years of use, the only thing that's ever bothered me is its lack of focus points. Otherwise, the Canon G-series are really good if you want something a little smaller (and do video!) but cost as much as a basic DSLR.

LaLoba

THANKS HAIRPIN for making this week relevant to my interests on break ups. I stumbled out of one relationship into the arms of another fellow. Some may say it is ill advised - and perhaps I am a fool! But I think that I should just go with it. I'm just going with it! I'm gonna go line dancing later.

claireh

@LaLoba i pretty much did that with my current gf and it has worked out soooo great. we're like basically married, so yeah, do whatever you want. <3

Pela

@LaLoba How can you take a step forward, if you don't have something to step onto? Ten out of ten Pelas recommend using boys like logs in Frogger, using one to get over the other, and the next and the next... You'll be fine. And line dancing sounds fun! Squee! Do you have a swishy dress or skirt to wear?

AniaGosia

@LaLoba My husband did that (I'm the rebound) and it worked out great! I did it once and the rebound guy was the exact opposite of the ex in every way except that he was just as crazy. So ... have hope but be aware?

eiffeldesigns

@LaLoba I did that this week. But I was just rebounding my rebound. ;-)

angelan

I'm going to italy tomorrow (5am! :( :( ) - I still haven't packed. I just seem to be sitting here faffing around instead. I'm so going to forget something important...

@serenityfound

@angelan What is it with all these people in the Open Thread taking fancy plane trips this weekend?! I WANT TO TAKE A FANCY PLANE TRIP.

tessamae

@angelan I did the same thing before I left to study in London for 6 mos and forgot to pack an umbrella or raincoat. Made my my ship them over to me because ohmygodtheexchangerateisterribleandimnotpaying$30forastupidumbrellai'lljustgetwet.

apples and oranges

@angelan AH WHERE! I am studying in Italy right now. Actually I leave in less than two weeks. But you will have a fantastic time. Eat all the food and if you see frutti di bosco gelato, GET THAT STUFF IN YOUR MOUTH!

Faintly Macabre

Dammit Hairpin, I was all set to go to the gym and then thought, "Well, I'll just see if the Open Thread is up!" And here I am.

Plant Fire

Ugh so I may have sucked out part of my IUD last night and I am freaking out!!! I've only had it 2 months I can't believe I did this!

I had just received my cup (meluna menstrual cup) in the mail and I was excited to try it so I cleaned it and folded it up and tried to put it in. It was really really hard to put in, for some reason it felt huge even though I know it should be able to go in and looked small but eventually I forced it in there. Once it was in there it wouldn't open up no matter how much I pushed and twisted and poked it, it's like there wasn't enough space. I think maybe I wasn't relaxing my muscles enough?

Anyway I panicked that it would be stuck in me forever so I decided to take it out. I knew you were supposed to reach up and break the seal but no matter how hard I pushed I couldn't fit my finger alongside it to reach the top. I tried pushing on the bottom but that didn't work so I figured if it was still mostly folded that means the seal is broken. So I just grabbed the ring on the bottom and pulled and it was really hard to take out and there was a weird sucking feeling. After that I reached inside with my had to make sure everything was ok but I could feel the string of my iud right away (normally I have to reach way up and poke around for a while to find it) and as I reached farther up I could feel this weird knot and a bit of hard something on my cervix...which I think is the end of the IUD.

I called planned parenthood and the earliest I could get an appointment is Tuesday but I'm freaking out because I don't know whether having the IUD that low is going to hurt me over the weekend/cause internal damage or whatever. I'm also worried about getting it replaced. I used my parents insurance for the first one and it cost my $80 which is a lot but I had planned for it for 5 months so I had the money. This however, was random and unexpected so I only have enough for food stuff like toilet paper...no extra money for an IUD. Also I remember from when I got it put in that I had to come in during the middle of my period which this month will take place while visiting very very conservative republican relatives for memorial day weekend in another state. And after that I move to nyc where I will be unenployed. So all in all I'm freaking out!! Has this happened to anyone here and if so what did you do?

twocats

@Sea Ermine Oh no! It's never happened to me, but I hope you feel better! Can you go to the ER before Tuesday? I know it's a pain, but it might save you a lot of discomfort.

Plant Fire

@twocats I thought about that but I don't have a car and it's an 1.5 bus ride to the nearest hospital and they are super unreliable on the weekend. Right now it doesn't hurt, I'm mostly just freaking out in my mind but if I get more worried/start to feel pain I'll definitely try that (I'm going to keep checking on the string/IUD tip every night to make sure it hasn't migrated further). Thanks!

OaklandBooty

@Sea Ermine oh my gosh, i'm so sorry :( can you do a walk in at planned parenthood tomorrow? I know they sometimes offer those (at least they do in LA!) on saturdays... that's actually the reason why i've been holding off on getting an IUD - i love having a menstrual cup so much but it said in my little "instruction booklet" that you can't use them with the IUD. :(

Plant Fire

@OaklandBooty I'ts not open over the weekend and I don't have time between class and work on Monday. My planned parenthood is really time (college town) so it's only open from like 10am-5pm Monday through Friday. it's only open earlier like one or two days a week : ( I checked the strings again 5 minutes ago and I can't feel anything weird so I think it's safe to wait until Tuesday (this morning and last night I felt the plastic so maybe it got sucked back in...I read that could happen).

The only reason I tried the cup is because I read that a bunch of people (on the hairpin and in the cup and iud livejournal forums) said that their doctors told them they could use them together and there were studies done that proved that the rate of expulsion is no greater with cups than with pads or tampons (provided it isn't an instead cup since those sit higher up). I think my main issue is that I had never used a cup before and got it stuck in me, it probably yanked my IUD while I was franticly trying to pull it out of me since I was so scared it would be stuck there forever.

I'll keep the idea of a walk in in mind though, I have an hour between class and work when it's open and while that's probably not enough it's worth a shot in case I start feeling the plastic again.

OaklandBooty

@Sea Ermine oh no! that sucks :( sounds like you should be okay until tuesday!

yeah, i use the instead cup, so i've held off! but i'll look into the reusable ones. i've had that panic feeling when trying to pull the instead cup out and it's no fun :(

good luck! i've got my fingers crossed for you!!
aw,

RK Fire

A few things:
1) the Avengers was AWESOME
2) my current job's work culture has been filling me with a bit of despair and other negative feelings
3) I am sending out my first resume in a long time!
4) I love that there are so many fantasy enthusiasts on the Hairpin
5) After feeling mopey and stressed out for most of the week about work, my appearance, and my perceived lack of fitness*, I am feeling much better! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the sun has come out again.

I LOVE YOU ALL

*I can lift heavy things but I have been struggling with mucus in the ol' windpipe so I have been short of breath.

Miss Maszkerádi

So I was waiting for this thread to pop up because I had a really awkward unpleasant moment today and it's still making me feel horrible in multiple ways hours later.
So, I'm graduating from music conservatory, and giving my graduation recital soon, and I happen to be playing in a church. It's a nice, liberal church with brilliant acoustics which is very, very frequently used as a small concert hall for secular concerts by musicians of all faiths.
Today, I was talking to a Jewish friend of mine, and asked her if she could come to my concert. I was inquiring after her schedule. When she said she couldn't come, I assumed she was otherwise engaged that evening. But then she elaborated: Apparently as whatever denomination of Jew she is, she is not allowed to enter Christian churches. Like, not even for a 100% secular event when there's not a priest in sight. Any place where Christians pray or celebrate their communion or sing their liturgies is a forbidden place, a place where the very air would contaminate her, defile her, make her impure. I am not making a word of this up.
Now, I'm not a practicing Christian, I was never even baptized. But still, hearing my friend say that the religion that sustained the lives of generations upon generations of my ancestors (daughter of lapsed Catholics here), that created things like the Sistine Chapel and the Bach cantatas and a large portion of Western intellectual/scholarly tradition is something so filthy, impure and corrupting that she can't even walk into a building that has been consecrated by a Christian priest? Like she'll catch fire as soon as she walks in the door? Like demons will immediately snatch her away and eat her soul?
I swear to the Flying Spaghetti Monster I am not making any of this up. I was just.....sort of standing dumbfounded on the sidewalk outside the (kosher) coffee shop where we'd just grabbed some between-classes caffeine, wondering what the hell to say and why I felt like I'd just been kicked in the stomach.

Now, the problem is I actually don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this. I've been reading too much discussion about Privileged Classes on the interwebs (hello procrastination) so I'm in a constant state of feeling guilty for being born white, straight, of Christian heritage and from a financially stable family. I know that Christianity is a dominant cultural force and Jews are pretty much the perma-underdog in world history, and I know that all cultures and religious viewpoints must be respected and not judged through white-Western-Christian glasses, but......I'm upset. And hurt. And disappointed. And weirded out and feeling kind of icky. I keep thinking about my 93 year old grandmother who still sings at Mass every single Sunday and knits blankets for Catholic hospital charities. And my current favorite old-timey philosopher Erasmus and his overflowing humanism and good humor. And Bach. And Mozart. And the rush of warm fuzzies I got when I actually went to church on Easter and when the priest said "give each other the sign of peace," a bunch of total strangers took the initiative to shake my hand, smile with complete lack of artifice and genuinely wish me peace. And now that I'm crying (hi, PMS) I should probably stop typing and grow some ovaries and remind myself that I'm white and privileged and should probably shut up. I just had to get this off my chest and maybe hope that the Hairpin can help me figure out how I should feel about this.

Xanthophyllippa

@CountessMaritza I'm the worst person to comment because I have no religious conviction worth mentioning, but why is her religion's belief a personal insult to you? That is, why does this warrant any more thought than, "huh, that's bizarre; I guess I won't see her at the recital after all?"

You're not going to change her beliefs - or the beliefs of anyone else in her community - no matter how hard you try, so if it really bothers you that much, could you take an academic approach and do some research and reading? Maybe intellectualizing it will help you detach, because she's not insulting you at all - she's following centuries of her own ancestors' beliefs, too.

Emma Peel

@CountessMaritza I just Googled this because I'd never heard of that rule, and here's an explanation of it, although it doesn't seem particularly widely followed. Is your friend especially religious? http://www.thejc.com/judaism/rabbi-i-have-a-problem/is-it-forbidden-jews-enter-a-church

Of course you're hurt that a friend can't/won't come to something that is obviously very important to you. But I wouldn't make it any bigger than just being disappointed -- don't make it about privilege, or Christianity, or anything like that if you can avoid it. I think this is especially important because you are going to run into people with a negative, knee-jerk opinion of religion frequently and you cannot take it personally; it's just how they feel. (Obviously not the case in this instance, but if you get insulted on behalf of your grandmother and Bach and Erasmus every time someone says something bad about Christianity, that will make things needlessly difficult for you.)

I know "let it go" isn't probably what you want to feel, but: let it go. If your friend is a good friend she's probably abashed that she had to say no. I can't imagine being in that position; it's got to be extremely awkward. (Honestly, I would choose to go and assume that God would forgive my good intentions, but I'm not religious.)

LaLoba

@CountessMaritza That would make me feel uncomfortable and injured, too. I do not prescribe to the beliefs of Christianity but I was raised, baptized and confirmed in the Lutheran church. While it seems at times to have largely informed what I do NOT want or feel, that time still shaped my identity and is a huge part of my heritage (Danish immigrant family)and perspective. And there are so many nice people in church, to balance out the assholes!

That is sort of beside the point. I guess etiquette wise, you're not really condoned to say something, because it would be rude to criticize someone's religion? But you can't help feeling bad that someone feels that way about, by extension, your grandma.

wharrgarbl

@CountessMaritza That sounds weird as hell, but I'd try to think of it as kind of like another stripe of keeping kosher. Doesn't matter if you raised and butchered that pig yourself according to deeply-held personal beliefs about humane treatment and healthy living and whatnot, her religion dictates that she can't eat it. And I doubt very much that it's just Christian stuff--she probably specified because it's a church, but my guess would be she's also not allowed to go to mosques, shrines, non-Jewish temples, and so forth. If that helps?

PistolPackinMama

@CountessMaritza Yeah, I am not trying to be harsh-- I agree. You have to realize it's not personal about you or the faith of your heritage. People need to be able to just do their thing, even if it feels like it's creating a boundary between you when you want to be creating a link.

Letting that be what it is, is the probably the best way to restore that link with your friend.

Also, as a balance. At the Newman Center in my school, there was some snit fittery going on among the faithful when

1) The center loaned the church to one of the synagogues in town for the big Passover services in the spring because they couldn't fit everyone in the usual space.

2) The center was the site of an interfaith service in honor of a visit from the Dalai Lama. In which the DL was a presiding clergy person. PS How could they have non Catholic clergy on the altar OMFG.

...

...

Point being, Catholics can be that way, too.

Faintly Macabre

@CountessMaritza I'm Jewish and had never heard of this, but I'm from a super-liberal strain of Judaism (Reconstructionist). I'm guessing this girl is some variation of Orthodox or just follows a very strict rabbi. Honestly, I don't see the personal insult here. To me, it's the same as if you invited her over for dinner and she said she couldn't eat at your house because you don't keep a Kosher kitchen. It's not about you, your friendship, your cooking, or the state of your house, and it's not meant to imply that all non-Kosher kitchens are full of evil and disease. It's just the religious laws she follows.

eta: @wharrgabrl From my limited internet skimming, I think those would be verboten too. Rabbis being rabbis, some say it's because of the other-religion-ness, others because entering there is condoning the use of images of God, etc. So, for example, a shrine would definitely not be okay.

Emma Peel

@Emma Peel Actually, I want to amend that, you can totally take it personally when people are jerks about religion. I do, and I'm not even religious myself, but people who are dear to me are. But don't dwell on it, was more my point.

wharrgarbl

@CountessMaritza Also, I assume the performance will be recorded? Maybe arrange to get her a copy of the tape?

Miss Maszkerádi

@Faintly Macabre I didn't take it so much as "personal insult" as "startling thing that made me really sad and kind of uncomfortable". I think her rabbi is a Lubavitcher which probably explains a lot.

EternalFootwoman

@CountessMaritza That's really interesting! I would be taken-aback as well. I'm also never really sure how to respond to those sorts of things, particularly when it's a non-majority religion (I'm much more comfortable rolling my eyes at far-right Christians than far-right Muslims, Jews, etc.).

Maryaed

@CountessMaritza Yeah, the Lubavitcher are pretty far down the fringe-y path so do not expect the broad-minded humanism any more than if you had a friend who belonged to a very fundamentalist Christian sect, or who was Amish. The Chasidim are pretty much all about separatism and doing things differently, and not about going along to get along. Thus the black hats and the proselytizing and all that goes with it.

It's pretty fascinating stuff but not much like your general knowledge of American Judaism might lead you to expect.

lemon mint fizz

hi! I'm sort of de-lurking from The Hairpin and always wanted to participate in the OT. I'm going to medical school in the fall--any medical school/residents/doctors-in-training 'pinners here?

twocats

@lemon mint fizz Yes! I am applying this year... Good luck in the fall! Are you excited?

lemon mint fizz

@twocats Ehhh, I have mixed feelings about it--but I'm slowly coming around, haha.

If you have any questions about the application process--feel free to ask away!

adela

@lemon mint fizz I'm applying this year too and I'd pretty much welcome any advice you're willing to offer. I'm just getting my essay together now (as we speak, in fact) and it's super intimidating.

whimsy

@lemon mint fizz
I am in med school in the Chicago area - Welcome to the profession.... I lurk around here a lot because I get home too late to add comments!!

lemon mint fizz

@whimsy aw, do you mind if I ask where? I'm in Texas. are you in your clinical years?

whimsy

@lemon mint fizz
I go to Chicago College of Osteopathic Medicine - I took the osteopathic route and now am in my third year. Where are you starting?

lemon mint fizz

@adela APPLY EARLY (without forfeiting quality of your application, of course). I didn't do that and it SEVERELY affected the number of interviews I had gotten. That was perhaps my biggest regret about the process. I was dealing with shit at the time, but still... I don't know if Hairpin has a messaging feature, but feel free to ask away on this thread (I get emails of replies) if you want. :) Or, if it's a bit more personal, I can give you my email address. Are you applying for in-state? That helps a lot... I'm in TX, so I definitely benefited from that when applying to Texas schools.

lemon mint fizz

@whimsy I'm at Tech in Lubbock, although with the ranking process, I could hear back from my top choice until June 1 (but, let's be real, it's slim). Lubbock was my second choice because of the work I want to do with women's health, and after visiting--I'm seriously considering making it my top choice. AHHHH clinical years. Good luck! I'm kind of nervous and a bit scared. Everyone else is like, "GOT MY STETHOSCOPE. GOT MY BOOKS. GOT MY RESIDENCY CHOICES PICKED OUT." and I'm like, "uhhh, I'm trying to relax as much as possible before August". :/

whimsy

@lemon mint fizz
Yes, relax!!
And I totally thought I wanted to go into Women's Health too when I started because I was raised by my super-feminist mother and had worked at Planned Parenthood and blah blah blah.... AND THEN, I hated delivering babies. Which was weird because I loved Gyn clinic, I have no issues with the whole vag exam but babies coming out of people was not my thing. So, I guess my lesson here is, don't just focus on one thing and realize that every single part of medicine is really important and you need to know parts of it.
Along with that, Learn Everything The FIRST time. Stuff repeats all the time... then they build on it. If you don't understand it or didn't take the time it will come back to bite you. And don't treat studying like you did in college... Studying is now your job. You don't have time for making your own flashcards. And you don't have time to reference every book you own. I like to study by reading, talking out loud to myself in summary form to make sure I comprehended what I read and I take constant breaks. Like now. I am on break.
But it's SO worth it when you get that first patient who asks you as a STUDENT for your opinion and really listens!! I can't wait for the real thing!!

Passion Fruit

@lemon mint fizz YES! I would love to talk to you about the application process! I am so anxious about the whole thing, it's making me miserable. Email me at passionfruit.thehairpin@gmail.com

lemon mint fizz

@whimsy omg, Hairpin keeps refreshing this page and deleting my half-written replies when I leave in the middle of typing them to eat something.

hokay, so I'm thinking about OB/GYN because maternal health (especially in fucking Texas) is a complete shitshow...but doing it from my position as a doctor might not be the best idea. And...well, I hate my vagina half of the time--I don't think I want to see vaginas for the rest of my life. :/ I was also considering Emergency Medicine because I like the energy it requires, but then again, sometimes like sticking a band-aid on a problem that's deeper than that (like treating a drug overdose--you treat it and move on, but you can't continue to see the patient and help them maintain it in a safe way or get some help). So...I don't know. I hope you don't roll your eyes when you read what I'm about to say next, but I really like neurosurgery, but I obviously don't know if I really like it or like the idea OF neurosurgery. I majored in neuroscience (and gender studies) at my undergrad, and I shadowed surgeons and watched those surgeries, and they were SO. COOL. But I don't know if the lifestyle and amount of years in residency will suit me. I mean, I just turned 21, so I'm a BIT younger than the average incoming medical student, but still... I don't believe that women still aren't discriminated against in surgery residencies. And some MS0s at our "retreat/training" said that it seems like I don't have the personality for surgery. I'm not sure if that's an insult (not confident/go-getter enough?) or a compliment (not a douche?).

I think...I'll just let my specialty pick me.

Thank you so much for the tips! YES...I'm actually really good at studying, and am actually looking forward to the idea of just having to worry about studying. Good luck with the studying!

lemon mint fizz

@Passion Fruit haha, I sent you an email just so you have it. Don't be miserable! My experience...is a bit unique, and tinged with some mental health stuff, so it's certainly not the typical experience...or it just might be, but we wouldn't know, given the stigma that's attached to mental illness in the US. BUT, yea, I'm open to giving advice (just take it with a grain of salt...your pre-health advisers know best!).

ng
ng

JANE! hahahaha is that Pa's office? I am cracking up imagining the conversation you had to get this photo.

Jane Marie

@ng nope, just stock photography but close enough! haha

VolcanoMouse

Whoo, @Nicole Cliffe @ValancyRedfern and other L. M. Montgomery fans! I just finished the Rubio biography and was... possibly underwhelmed? Or maybe I misunderstand the purpose of biography? I was expecting a lot more interpretation and here-is-me-proving-this-hypothesis, and while there was some, it felt mostly like a summary of the journals.

But also, dang it, the lady spent twenty years working with the journals, so she has a perfect goddamn right to summarize them if she wants, and who is this college dropout to question that.

Still, my appetite for scholarship is whetted. If I wanted to broaden my reading-about-Montgomery and reading-about-Montgomery-books, what other scholars/books should I go for?

Also reading a lot of Gene Stratton Porter. Reading these "girl's" books that were contemporary to Maud's work but so different in outlook is WEIRD.

The Lady of Shalott

@VolcanoMouse Have you read The Fragrance of Sweet-Grass, by Elizabeth Epperly? She is a leading Montgomery scholar and it's a really interesting book.

VolcanoMouse

@The Lady of Shalott I have NOT. I shall ILL it!

I really just need to sneak into the local university library and see what's on the relevant shelves.

frigwiggin

Where's that link for the Sharepin again? I am getting rid of a TON of books (mostly books that I took from my friend's house after she died so her parents would have less crap to deal with, and that have hung around my house for over a year now). I was just going to take them to the Friends of the Library Bookstore, but maybe I can send some of them off to other people instead! So heyyyyyeah, if anybody wants a dead girl's copies of so, so many Sweet Valley High books, hit me up!

Xanthophyllippa

@frigwiggin OH MAN. Definitely take the SVHs over to a shelter that caters to runaway teens or to a children's hospital. Those kids would eat that shit up, I bet.

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa They have so many terrible life lessons, though! Like the one (the only one) I read where the subplot involves a kid with an anger problem who tries to commit suicide, and basically there's subtext that it's his own fault or something?

thebestjasmine

@frigwiggin Commenting here so that I see this link when it pops up! I want to know about the books. But yes, good idea for donating the SVH's to a shelter.

Emma Peel

@thebestjasmine Agreed, I want a link too!

Xanthophyllippa

@frigwiggin Oh geez, I wasn't even thinking about that. You're right! I was thinking more along the lines of, "laugh at how STUPID these people are."

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa I may be underestimating shelter kids' ability to parse ridiculous plotlines and not take them as anything resembling real life. I hadn't thought about a shelter, though, I may share some of the other books that way. I default to FotL because I love libraries and the ones in our town need a lot of support (and so I can buy new books to replace the ones I'm giving away).

I got a reply with the link but it's not showing up for some reason, so here's the Sharepin. Thanks, camanda!

camanda

@frigwiggin Magic Disappearing Comment Goblin strikes again!

frigwiggin

@frigwiggin P.S. I will go through the books to make a list when I get home (aside from the SVH books there's also...a lot of shonen-ai manga, not gonna lie, but also other stuff), so hopefully by tonight I will be able to post something up on the Sharepin and also will alert you folks here!

Xanthophyllippa

@frigwiggin FoLs are good recipients, too! I approve of either strategy. (Especially as a former clerk at a small-town library.)

nyikint

@frigwiggin @camanda Thanks so much for posting the link - sorry I didn't get to this thread in time. Yes, everyone, come join!

PistolPackinMama

Ohhhh, This is so cute. Even with the clean lyrics, I am loving it. :( I love MCA's voice because it's all scratchy. He was my favorite Beatle Beastie.

PistolPackinMama

@PistolPackinMama http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i1iGa96GYM&NR=1&feature=endscreen

TheDragon

I just had an interview with the internship people and I think I impressed them with my ability to navigate with a GPS and compass, hike all day, and ID plants.

RK Fire

@The Kendragon: Awesome! I am always impressed by people who can ID plants.

TheDragon

@RK Fire
I am a plant freak. I'm the girl that is tearing them into little bits to get a better look at this part or that part.

RK Fire

@The Kendragon : That is a fine skill, and let no one tell you differently. I can only ID a handful of things.. I don't think I have the patience to learn it.

TheDragon

@RK Fire
I just think of it as a puzzle, and I am crazy about puzzles. (My mom told people to stop giving them to me for Christmas when I was ten because I would figure them out pretty much immediately.
I also like to ID bugs. Dichotomous keys for life, ya'll.

dale

@The Kendragon You don't want to move near me so we can hike together & you can identify things, do you?

TheDragon

@dale
You are somewhere in Canada, right?
Montana kind of stole my heart last summer, but depending on where in Canada, I feel like it could work.

dale

@The Kendragon The west coast! Silly ol' Vancouver. We have lots of greenery!

TheDragon

@dale
Oh I love the Northern West Coast!
I would visit and ID the hell out of things.

Craftastrophies

@The Kendragon I'm editing our horticulture resources at work at the moment, and even though the person I'm working with is driving me MENTAL it's still my favourite project. I'm learning so much! Plants are amazing! Also, plants + puzzles = the best.

TheDragon

@Craftastrophies
I will inform my friends when we are out on hikes that "This is a member of Brassicaceae, which is the mustard family. You can tell because it has six stamens. four long ones and two short. Mustards also include cabbage, kale, and broccoli....etc"
My friends are pretty polite about it, but I know that they are internally saying "That's nice. I don't give a damn."

Craftastrophies

@The Kendragon I read the first part and went 'I didn't know cabbages were mustard!' I was unreasonably excited about this. (I had a painful, painful conversation at work about what the nightshade family is - I'm mildly allergic to them all but so. Delicious.)

I am so impressed because I can do this, but for a very, very small area of nature. Mostly edibles (and some relatives, and some common garden weeds) and plants that grew in a 20k radius of where I grew up. We went to go visit a friend's property a while back which has similar plants, and visited the site of the old homestead. You can't see the actual garden that was, but you can see where the old roses and pear trees and herbs have seeded outwards. It's amazing. There was a spiel from me about artichokes and thistles, along with things like 'oooh, look, cosmos! Oooh, look bush orchids! They're rare!' My boyfriend was very, very nice about it and the only negative reaction was the telling off I got the next day when, reading a garden book, I bemoaned how much I didn't know. But I don't!

Craftastrophies

@Craftastrophies Edit: My excitement was not unreasonable. Just super nerdy. And the conversation was painful because of the lack of understanding of the concept of plant families, or plants you know not just being that one plant, etc. Also, that was the worst humblebrag post ever I am so sorry. :( I just get excited about plants and finding patterns...

Prairie Dawn

How do you know when a relationship is healthy but having an extremely unhealthy patch, or if it's ruined and will be toxic forever? Is temporary toxicity a thing? : /

H.E. Ladypants

@Prairie Dawn Yes temporary toxicity is totally a thing.

For me I find a quick check in with a trusted ladyfriend is a good thing. They can usually put things into a bit of perspective or point out if something is just beyond okay.

Brunhilde

@Prairie Dawn I hope so?

lora.bee

@Prairie Dawn I agree with H.E. Ladypants, sometimes it can be VERY hard to get perspective.

Verity

My boyfriend and I are going to see this this weekend! Brains, yay.

Also, I mentioned in a previous Open Thread that we were planning to book a holiday in Stratford-Upon-Avon, which is now done. Any suggestions for what to do there? We've got tickets (£5! Yay for being 16-25) to see an RSC production of Richard III, but other ideas about things to do are very welcome.

_questingbeast

@Verity Just in Stratford or surrounding? Because in Birmingham area, the Black Country museum in Dudley is flip awesome.

_questingbeast

@Verity Also, the £5 tickets; did you buy them from the RSC site? I can't work out the website, do you choose any ticket and then enter the code? Or is it only tickets of a certain price? Some dates say they have £5 tickets but when you hover on the seats they're all at least £8, and those are children's with an adult ticket.

Verity

@questingbeast You need to enter the code first, and then it only shows you seats which you can get for £5, I discovered.

I will look into that! Neither of us drives, so things outside Stratford depend on how easy they are to get to by public transport. But if we have time (we're only there for five nights) I'm certainly not averse to going further afield.

_questingbeast

@Verity Ah, thanks for that, I was being dim. (And thanks for your post, reminded me to buy tickets at all!)

Stratford's only about an hour from Birmingham New Street by train, I think- so probably doable. Selfridges in the city centre armadillo! Oh, and the museum, which has the Staffordshire hoard. Also, Cadbury World! (Although I think entry price is fairly steep.)

gobblegirl

I am going to a midnight screening of The Room tonight! I've never seen it!

Prostitute Robot From The Future

@gobblegirl Bring spoons.

Two-Headed Girl

@gobblegirl Yes, bring loads of plastic spoons. Also, drink before you go! (You just reminded me that this is a thing, but no one will go tonight. :( SAD)

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

I'm going to be in Berlin for three days in mid-May and I'm wondering if there are any 'Pinners out there who can recommend anything for me to do? Some info: I'm staying in a hostel (so I'm on a bit of a budget) in Mitte, I'm a vegetarian, I have no interest in going to da club, I don't speak German (which I feel guilty about) and I like wandering around taking photos and staring at everything like a goon, I'm a bit shy, and I love consuming coffee and beer and pastries in particular. Any suggestions out there?

Xanthophyllippa

@Katzen-party Go to the zoo - Zoologischer Garten, thought the Tierpark is lovely, too. If you go to ZG, you can walk around the Ku'damm, with its great shopping and cool sights (like the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Gedächtniskirche, which was bombed in WWII and left that way as a memorial). Definitely go see the botanical gardens, which are highly photogenic; maybe consider Schloss Charlottenburg, too, which is also highly photogenic and drips opulence.

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

@Xanthophyllippa Yay, thank you so much! I just googled the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Gedächtniskirche and Schloss Charlottenburg and got really excited!

muggles

@Katzen-party I went on these free walking tours just about everywhere in Europe and thought they were a great base! They'd take you to see most of the things you were "supposed" to see and give you some idea of how the city is laid out, so I could go back the following days and figure out what I wanted to spend more time on. It was also a good place to make friends/acquaintances if you wanted, or hang at the back of the group pretending you were a native if you preferred. Have fun!!

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

@muggles Ah, that's so cool, thank you! This would actually be perfect for me since I know that sometimes I can feel a bit like I've been set adrift when I go to the places you're "supposed" to go but I (being an American who got a pretty average, bad education in things like history and art--not to make excuses, because I'm also kinda lazy) don't know exactly *why* I'm going there or what's a good way to look at these places/things in context. And they're free! So cool, thanks.

_questingbeast

@Katzen-party I go to the zoo in every city I visit (I just really bloody love zoos), and Berlin is definitely one of the best ever. Also, even if (maybe especially if) you don't want to go clubbing, the evening pub tours that are usually advertised in German hostels can be worth a go; it's usually only 4 or 5 euro, and although some people will be there just to get drunk, you'll probably be shown one or two decent bars and meet a few nice people to have a beer with.

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

@questingbeast Oh good--I would love to go to the zoo; I'm glad it gets the thumbs up. And thanks for suggesting the hostel's pub tours--that's totally the kind of thing that I don't normally do but I know I'll have my evenings free (especially since I don't want to hit the clubs but wouldn't mind going out for a beer at night) so I think I'll at least check it out!

Uncommon Hussy

@Katzen-party Seconding the tour idea. Also, I minored in German and my professors were super obsessed with the whole East/West Berlin thing and I'd read and seen like a million movies and books about it which made visiting Berlin super cool. So maybe if you have time before you go or on your flight, you could watch a movie or read something fun and fiction-y about it? I remember that Goodbye, Lenin! and Sonnenallee were both pretty fun comedy movies about it, and The Lives of Others and The Promise are more drama-y but I'm drawing a blank on books right now. The Checkpoint Charlie Museum was kind of pricey and touristy but also I thought it was pretty interesting. Also, if you like art, the museums on the Museumsinsel are fantastic.

Will you be anywhere else in Germany, or just Berlin? In any case, Berlin is awesome and you will have fun and I am excited for you!

I'm sleepy

What are people reading? I'm reading Wild, and I like it so far, but I've been really sleepy on the subways so not reading it very quickly? What are y'all making for dinners? I want to make dinner tonight! So happy it's Friday going to drink all the wines.

Changeling

@I'm sleepy
I'm almost done with A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, but I'm bored with it so I started Anansi Boys. I may also start Ghost Map soon.
Last night I made an awesome spicy carrot ginger soup, so I'm having leftovers for dinner. And garlic bread. Wish I had wines! I would drink them all.

dj pomegranate

@Changeling I am just finishing Isabel Allende's Daughter of Fortune. It was a quick and fun read! I am next diving into Murakami's 1984 or 1Q84...I can't tell which is the proper title but I am going to READ IT ALL.

Cat named Virtute

@I'm sleepy I'm reading The Talented Mr Ripley (hi Nicole!) and a collection of poetry called A Walker in the City by Meira Cook (poet and professor in my hometown), which is wonnnnnnderful--kind of noir, but also a love letter to Winnipeg with two characters, a young woman and an old man, who follow one another around, and may or may not be real. It's so delicious and just what my poetry rut needed.

For dinner I made Smitten Kitchen's asparagus pizza and it was DIVINE. Also several glasses of rose.

Good questions! I love when we talk about food and books.

ayo nicole

@I'm sleepy I'm reading Villette and I hate Lucy Snowe so much. It's awesome.

DH@twitter

@I'm sleepy

I'm reading A Year of Living Sinfully. Most of the suggestions I definitely cannot afford. And if I cashed out my savings I'd have, oh, 300 bucks? I need to get to the library.

anachronistique

@I'm sleepy On my Kindle app, "The Moonstone, Wilkie Collins. Which I knew vaguely as a gothic classic or something? But so far it's basically a mystery! With a lot of old-timey racism!

I also just finished Two Whole Cakes, which was delightful but not as organized as I maybe would have liked, and I'm about to start The Song of Achilles.

Craftastrophies

@anachronistique I was reading 'The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet' but I was really not enjoying it. I think I might be going through one of my 'books are hard' phases. Lots of editing at work, that usually does it. So I put it down, because the prose is amazing and I don't want to ruin it by forcing. Instead I'm rereading Wynne-Jones and Jenny Cruise books.

I'm sleepy

What are people reading? I'm reading Wild, and I like it so far, but I've been really sleepy on the subways so not reading it very quickly? What are y'all making for dinners? I want to make dinner tonight! So happy it's Friday going to drink all the wines.

I'm sleepy

What are people reading? I'm reading Wild, and I like it so far, but I've been really sleepy on the subways so not reading it very quickly? What are y'all making for dinners? I want to make dinner tonight! So happy it's Friday going to drink all the wines.

H.E. Ladypants

This week I decided to quit my job! I came home and nervously asked my boyfriend how he felt about me quitting before I'd found a new job and pulling in what temp and freelance work I could while I looked.

His response was, "YES, QUIT NOW. YOUR JOB IS AWFUL. I'VE GOT US."

So that was decided! I'm off this weekend to write my very first letter of resignation!

Xanthophyllippa

@H.E. Ladypants YAY!

twocats

@H.E. Ladypants Congratulations!!!! How liberating.

H.E. Ladypants

@twocats I am super excited/nervous. It's sort of a big leap of faith for me. But I am also curious about how I'm going to feel one week into not working where I do.

I suspect at least 10% more human. (And 90% happier.)

dj pomegranate

@H.E. Ladypants This is awesome! Go you and your supportive boyfriend!

iceberg

#nerdconfession - I was perplexed by the business card scene in American Psycho, because as a designer I was nodding along going ooh yeah that card *is* slightly classier than the previous one.

frigwiggin

@iceberg Ahhhhhh, that's great.

_questingbeast

@iceberg On the other hand, Genesis are *not* underrated geniuses. Serial killers: only right half the time.

laurel

@iceberg IANAD, but yes. I was disappointed when they cut away from that scene. Go on...

wharrgarbl

Dear 'pinners, please post your blogs/twitters/divers writings! They are delightful. Love, the internet

Xanthophyllippa

@wharrgarbl Here's me. I write about writing.

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa Also, dude--part of my job involves lots of writing/editing, so my part of the department is semi-frequently called upon for proofreading things. Today my team lead came into my office because apparently another part of our department has been sending out gift receipts (basically "thank you for donating to us" notes) with a semicolon where a comma should be. SO MANY of these have gone out, and they're still going to send out the printed ones rather than print new ones. I know most people probably DGAF, but ughhhhhh it looks so unprofessional to me, and I'm confused that nobody's caught it before now.

Xanthophyllippa

@frigwiggin I FEEL YOU, SISTAH. My colleague, who does publicity for one of our subprograms, has been handing out flyers with "communication" misspelled on it. Two of us have called it to her attention, and she said, "oh, oops, I'll correct that." And then CONTINUED handing out the flyers. I could cry.

@serenityfound

@wharrgarbl I write things of questionable quality on www.giantfreakinrobot.com, although you can't search by name. And then I sometimes maintain a blog I started for a grad school class. And I tweet too much at @serenityfound. and there's a couple of tumblrs too but now I'm just babbling....

wharrgarbl

@melis And it is glorious.

thebestjasmine

@wharrgarbl This is me. I want other pinners to follow on twitter please! I talk a lot about politics and TV and also food.

camanda

I'm camanda basically everywhere, so I'm easy to find. Not that anyone would want to!

@frigwiggin @Xanthophyllippa My company is obsessed with its appearance, but occasionally I'll go print signs and things on them will be wrong, ranging from the wrong barcode (bad in my department in particular because of bridal registries) to incorrect pricing (header will say "30% off" and the listed prices will all be 50% + $10) to a misspelled word ("Electics"). And I can't change any of those things on my end! It drives me mad. I am the only one who cares.

We also sold ornaments at Christmas that said "Girl's Rule." Sigh.

@serenityfound

@camanda zomg I could not work there. It drives me crazy even when (probably optional) hyphens are left out of things on our forms/course catalogs/website.

Also, I think those ornaments are kind of awesome, in a completely unintended way.

DH@twitter

@wharrgarbl

I tweet @menshevixen (despite what my username here says). Mostly about comic books. I also blog about comic books (and religion and music and words made up from Captcha phrases).

camanda

@@serenityfound I always wondered to what rule (and indeed, what girl) the ornament was referring. Admittedly they did provide me with a lot of joy when I got to throw them all out on December 27th.

Also, I lied, I totally change the barcodes on the signs. I reprint them on white stickers and attach them because they annoy me. Retail is a terrible job for a perfectionist.

@serenityfound

UGH. The html around my non-Tumblr blog disappeared for some reason: http://busybasement.blogspot.com. It badly needs a visual makeover so, anybody who knows good places for Blogger templates, please holler!

lindackerite

@wharrgarbl I tweet on/off @lindackerite although klouchebag said I was "kinda douchey" cause I RT too many cool things I read on the Internet. Occasionally I will also live tweet awards shows and bad movies I stumble upon like Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

EpWs

@wharrgarbl @vanillawaif and I continue to narrate the exploits of the bears at the San Diego Zoo @YourDailyBear! It's mating season so things are getting interesting. GUYS I ALMOST CAUGHT THEM HUMPING TODAY.

anachronistique

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher YOURDAIRLYBEAR IS THE GREATEST.

I tweet and tumblr under this username! I complain a lot about my job and post pictures of puppies and write fanfiction!

Alexa Villaume@facebook

@wharrgarbl I've been mostly a lurker for a long time (I sometimes comment) but I write about a variable star that I'm fond of at http://writings.alexavillaume.com/ which is mostly just documentation for my senior thesis.

Megasus

@wharrgarbl I have mentioned 404 like a bazillion times so I won't again.
But I tweet way too much @mk_patter and I want more 'pinners following me! Also I just followed everyone who posted their twitter on here, in case you were like whoa!

frigwiggin

Okay, so. After my friend's wedding this month, I plan to get a buzz cut. It is mostly-accepted at work that I am a bit unusual; I have pink hair right now, and I had to verify with three people of increasingly-high rank that it was okay before doing it (because the last time I did it, the permission that was previously given was rescinded and I had to dye it back). Now, I've dropped mentions of my intentions around, mostly to same-level coworkers, and mostly they've been like, "Really? You're gonna do that??" or "Wow, that'll be different!" But I'm wondering if I need to bother going through the same line of questioning to verify that my bawl-headedness won't buck the trend too much or if I can assume that permission for pink = permission for other unusual hairstyles, as long as I keep it tidy/no more than one strange color. Thoughts?

TheDragon

@frigwiggin
I would think that pink hair would be more "unacceptable" than a buzz cut.
I am jealous of your pink hair, by the way. I badly want pink and blue streaks but I'd loose my job if I got them now, and getting them this summer when I'll just be living out of a tent seems stupid.

H.E. Ladypants

@frigwiggin I miss my pink hair!

I'd say go ahead a do it. Hair has a very weirdly prized status for women in our culture and in my experience, that causes people to have weird freak outs about very, very short hair.

And then it happens and they are all "oh wow, that looks super pretty."

LeafySeaDragon

@frigwiggin to me a buzz is less extreme than pink.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon @frigwiggin Where do y'all work that HR has any say over your hair?

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa I work at a university, in a department that is occasionally visited by alumni, so our ex-VP perceived my pink hair as a threat to our alumni relations (especially since the previous time, when I had to dye it back, I worked the front desk of a building). Now I'm tucked away where almost nobody sees me, but it wasn't until the VP became ex- that I asked about going pink again. I just don't want to get more crap.

Xanthophyllippa

@frigwiggin Ah, gotcha. At the university where I teach, pink hair would probably bring in more donations.

thebestjasmine

@Xanthophyllippa Hahaha, it's so funny that you ask this question! Because my mind was in the "Wow, where do you work that having pink hair/a buzz cut would not be an issue?"

DH@twitter

@frigwiggin

AWESOME. I've been wanting to shave my head for awhile, but I'm not sure my workplace is down with it. Or with fun colors. But I would think if pink hair is ok at your workplace, a buzz cut would be!

TheDragon

@Xanthophyllippa
Ok. I have to go on a mini rant here. In the summers I work for the federal government. (As a research grunt, but still) I don't need drug tests, they don't care what my hair looks like, and as long as my clothing is functional and not offensive, I can wear it.
During the school year I work for a professors lab, and Petsmaht. Petsmaht. Where we get drug tested, our hair is mandated by management, no visible tattoos are allowed, and only ear piercings are allowed. FFFF off Petsmaht.

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa Yeah, this is a private university in a semi-conservative area, but the particular department in which I work is especially so (especially with our former VP, we'll see who gets hired next). It's still a weird feeling since I attended college at UC Santa Cruz, which is known far and wide as WOOO POT WOOOOOO NO SHOES IN THE FOREST PINK HAIR AND NIPPLE RINGS AND THE NAKED RUN BABYYYYYY. One of my coworkers knows someone who is staff there and whispered to me in horror about how that friend has a coworker who comes to work without a bra! Pearl-clutching, oh my. I would actually probably like to work there, but the pay would probably be the same with a giant increase in living expenses, so blah.

ImASadGiraffe

@The Kendragon Yeah I work for the Feds too (doing IT technical work) - they don't care what I wear, I didn't have to take a drug test, and I don't ever talk to upper management in person so they have no idea what I look like. I thought about getting violet streaks in my hair, it's currently dark brown right now.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon I would last maybe an hour in a place like that. Ugh.

@thebestjasmine I teach at a huge R1 university in a predominantly liberal town full of hippies of various vintages. I'm not sure I could work anywhere that thought they had the right to tell me what I could/couldn't look like. Beyond "here's your uniform shirt; keep it tucked in, please," that is -- the sloppy kids who work at the local Target and wear oversized red t-shirts, untucked, and really baggy cargo shorts strike me as not professionally dressed.

Also, @frigwiggin OMG do you know Donna Haraway? If so, I want to bask in your glow.

TheDragon

@ImASadGiraffe I'm a field technician or trail crew/wildlands firefighter for Fish and Wildlife, BLM, Forest Service, or State Game and Fish, depending on the summer. So basically all they care is that I can hike all day with a pack and do my job.

thebestjasmine

@Xanthophyllippa See, no one anywhere I've ever worked could necessarily tell me what to do or not to do with my hair, it would just affect me adversely professionally if I had pink hair (I love pink hair) etc.

EternalFootwoman

@frigwiggin DO. IT. DO IT NOW!!!!! I have nothing but amazing things to say about my time with a buzz cut.

frigwiggin

@Xanthophyllippa Haha, I had to look up who that was. No, sadly, as a Lit major I was never involved in History of Consciousness. I did take classes with Wlad Godzich, though! He has a Wikipedia page so I can brag about that. And Louis Chude-Sokei, who doesn't have a Wikipedia page but who is one of the smartest, coolest people I've ever talked to. Oh man I am starting to miss college something hard right now.

frigwiggin

@EternalFootwoman Haha, I have to wait until after the wedding (I am having purple hair for it!), but I am jazzed. It has been a long time coming, and I'm excited to realize it. I love the way the back of my head feels when it's shaved, so I am excited for the whole thing to feel that way.

Thanks for all the input, everybody! I might check with my team lead to get her feelings on the matter, but either way I'm going for the gold.

claireh

@frigwiggin my gf is starting grad school at UCSC in the fall, so we're moving there. did you love Santa Cruz?

frigwiggin

@claireh Yes, I did! I am somewhat regretful now that I didn't do more while I was there (but school, naturally lazy, etc.), but it is a neat place to live! I did get tired of seeing other students all over the place, especially the ones that hang around downtown and ask for change so they can buy beer (one stopped me on the way to a movie once and asked me for $0.63, WHAT), but I'm actually surprised now by how much I miss it. The Secret Film Festival! The Pacific Cookie Company! The Rio Theatre! I think you will enjoy it.

claireh

@frigwiggin that's good to hear! i mean it looks nice, but change is hard. i live in oakland and work in SF now, so its not like its that's radical of a move. i just worry it might be a little slow for me (i'm from nyc) but i'm trying to get into it. now if i could just find an apartment. it's legit impossible to find somewhere that takes dogs apparently.

Xanthophyllippa

@thebestjasmine I would totally not have that problem, because the people who would Disapprove are the people who are not in any position of power (and are also very stodgy and uptight and not very well liked). But I am now imagining your userpic with pink hair, which makes me very happy.

frigwiggin

@claireh Oh, it's probably pretty low-key compared to the Bay Area or NYC--I'm from the Central Valley in California so anything else seems hopping to me. But it's fun, and there are lots of great activities around town and on campus, and the general liberalism is nice. I never had a pet while looking around, but yeah, apartment-hunting kind of sucks there. They're all so strict because they're used to obnoxious teenagers who drink a lot and punch holes in walls.

Maryaed

@frigwiggin Are you the person who just had a boyfriend fight over a tattoo? Is this related?

frigwiggin

@Maryaed I am, but I'm not sure what you mean. Is shaving-the-head related to the fight over the tattoo? Naw, completely unrelated. He's down, or at least has no problem with it. He has a serious thing for girls with short hair, and I've had increasingly shorter hair the entire time we've been together (it is maybe like 3" in the longest places right now), and it's been something that's been stewing for a while. Not least because one of my blogger friends went completely bald and looked phenomenal. I'm not going down to the skin, but definitely verrrrryyyyy short.

billie_crusoe

@frigwiggin DO IT. I started shaving mine 3 years ago when I lived in the Bay Area, and now I'm in a super-conservative area but still don't get much negativity. I get sir'd a lot (even when wearing a skirt? People are weird.) but no one (except my mom) says anything rude. And in my experience, pink hair is less acceptable than shaved, so there's that.

I love it. I am about a million times more confident right after I buzz mine.

Craftastrophies

@frigwiggin Wait, did you actually have a fight? I know he didn't like it, from your initial post about it.

Maryaed

@frigwiggin Gotcha. Just wondering.

billie_crusoe

@frigwiggin Um, the blog you linked? Now I want to go totally bald! Maybe only once, to say I did? I use a #1 on it right now (1/8"), and it grows that much in a week, so maybe I'll do it right before I go to San Francisco and it'll be normal again when I get back.

frigwiggin

@Craftastrophies Ah, yeah, we did. I yammered on about it in the recent Ask A Lady comments.

Craftastrophies

@frigwiggin Ah, I missed that! I often miss the Ask A Lady columns because of time zone things, and it makes me sad. I am having a similar "not intentionally heartless thing to do, just thoughtless" thing with my bf at the moment and it sucks. It's easier when someone is clearly wrong, for Reasons. (Sort version, I have issues about feeling like my life is on hold until his kids grow up/other things, and like I'm not a real part of his life. In part of a longer convo this morning he said the phrase 'you don't have to support me! You're just for fun!' Uh... DUDE.)

Anyway, commiserations. Relationship communication is HARD. And I have cold, cold, freezing rage about those kinds of things - where you give them a chance to have input and they choose to pout about it after instead (PROJECTING HERE - my ex was the WORST at this).

Also, actually on topic here, I endorse the hair shave! I had a similar accident when shaving just the sides shorter, a while back, and it lead to a not-quite-nothing shave. It was great! But also, remember to wear hats.

feartie

@tessamae Nooo, the flat has cats in it currently, and will come with the furniture. Which the cats have lived on. My husband is massively allergic to dander and cleaning all dander out of soft furnishings is really really difficult. His magic power is going into a place he doesn't know and working out that a cat walked through there once in the last week.

He's also had respiratory problems lately due to the damp weather (worst since records began!) so it's just too much on top of that.

tessamae

@feartie OooOOOooOOOOoo I am with you now. I just couldn't wrap my head around the "like the cats stay like little roommates???". Gotcha. I am riddled with allergies (life would be much better if I would just become The Girl in the Plastic Bubble), so I completely understand. Best wishes on the hunt!

Two-Headed Girl

I have so much Dr. Who to watch this weekend, god. I don't start work for three weeks and all I've done so far is watch TV and bake and run and it's been glorious.

Also, currently trying to navigate the "should we move in?! we should! but also maybe not right now!" seas with my SO and it's weird. I keep looking at apartments online and at random appliances at Crate & Barrel and having to remind myself that it's probably not happening this year, which, sadface.

tessamae

@Two-Headed Girl I am so jealous of your weekend/baking/tv marathoning I could die. Also, Matt Smith is the absolute dreamiest.

Two-Headed Girl

@tessamae Agreed! But I'm still finishing up with Eccleston (as per the instructions of everyone for some reason?), who is decidedly not. He looks like he should be Tom Hardy's dad and I just can't.

Reginal T. Squirge

@Two-Headed Girl Hey, wanting to move in together and not being able to is a hell of a lot better than not wanting to live together and not being able to get out.

Two-Headed Girl

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter This is a good (if slightly sad) point.

lora.bee

@Two-Headed Girl So you haven't even seen David Tennant yet????

Two-Headed Girl

@lora.bee No! I know what a travesty this is.

Verity

@Two-Headed Girl Oh, no, Eccleston is lovely!

Two-Headed Girl

@Verity He is! Just not, like, to me personally, though I do appreciate his smile. I have more of a crush on Billie Piper, being perfectly honest.

TheCheesemanCometh

@Verity Agreed! Whether Eccleston or Tennant is my favorite on any given day is determined by the beating of a butterfly's wings in Outer Mongolia, but Smith did grow on me.

(tiny voice) I'm pretty sick of Amy. More Rory would be good, though. (/tiny voice)

camanda

ALSO, I made it through posting every day on my Tumblr for Jazz Appreciation Month, and wanted to spotlight this post, which (a) I am pleased with considering I wrote it in an insomnia-induced stupor the night before and (b) features Ella Fitzgerald doing an impression of Louis Armstrong. Go watch!!

And I got a nice note from a follower about all those posts and it made my day.

Oh, and since I'm being a huge goddamn geek, I play NationStates, and my nation's economy got upgraded to Powerhouse today. DID IT, NOW.

LeafySeaDragon

i watched jane eyre with fassy in it last night and i'm still a little breathless. it's freezing and i want to lay on my couch and drink coffee with baileys in it.

it's friday and i haven't had sex in 3 weeks? it's a little depressing.

Reginal T. Squirge

@LeafySeaDragon Yeah, wtf, Portland? Why are you freezing outside?

Reginal T. Squirge

I would also like to add that I really love how this website does not fuck around with dissenters. If someone comes around and doesn't get the joke or is just generally being shitty, everybody just clowns them relentlessly until they leave.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter I also like that we have enough smart people on here that we can tell the difference between deliberate trolling and just plain cluelessness. And subsequently educate the clueless. I hope.

redheaded&crazy

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter even better, some people are actually nice and compassionate and as @fig.1 says kindly attempt to educate the clueless

...

until they leave

(p.s. obviously not me. but you know, like, wee_ramekin shout out girl)

Craftastrophies

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) (Some of us can't) (I'm afraid to say who in case she burns me with fire)

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@Craftastrophies It's ok, maybe she'll just settle for putting you in Cat Jail for awhile

oh god Cat Jail I have to stop but it's so funny

Girl Named Jack

You guys you guys! I'm delurking for this big news. After four (4!) years, I am finally (finally!) done with the very last part of my divorce - getting the ex off my deed/mortgage. Due to his pathological fear of Important Paperwork, I have been waiting on this for SO. LONG. Not living in fear that they will foreclose on my house due to his crappy financial decisions (a very real possibility) feels so good.

Bonus round: my mortgage payment went down by $200. YAY!

Thanks for listening, 'pinners. As you were.

Xanthophyllippa

@Girl Named Jack BOOYAH! Take that, Mr. Ex!

thebestjasmine

@Girl Named Jack YAYYYYYY, congrats!!

ImASadGiraffe

@Girl Named Jack Congrats to you! I'm in the exact opposite situation. Last week I got my name off the mortgage of the house my ex-husband has lived in since I moved out almost 3 years ago. Ours was pushed off because of value concerns, but it's done and I couldn't be happier to be a non-homeowner

laurel

@Girl Named Jack My grave distrust of the institute of matrimony is largely based in the horror of joint finances. Congratulations.

dj pomegranate

@Girl Named Jack Celebratory champagne for alllll!

EpWs

@Girl Named Jack YAY. Celebrations for everyone!

KellyStitzel

Really excited to be competing in a stand-up competition starting next week here in Cincinnati. If I win, I get to headline at a real, live comedy club. It's going on all summer, so I have to keep advancing from round to round, based on votes from a judging panel and the audience. I hope it goes well! Even if I don't win, it'd be nice to advance at least beyond the first round.

OhMarie

@KellyStitzel Yay!! Good luck!

PistolPackinMama

OK. So last week I ended up not commenting on the comment about the death penalty. But I did have something to say, so in case you see this, readers, and still care, here it is:

For one thing: The states that have the death penalty? A lot of them don't have what you would call the best conditions under which to do time in the first place. The states with the most dehumanizing conditions have the most dehumanizing punishments. (Did I already say that? I think I did.)

I find the idea that prisons are not mirrors of society, or institutions separate from but symbolic of issues in our society compelling. Good ol' Foucault's idea that prisons are the foundation institutions on which society is built resonantes with me. Power needs prisons, if citizens are going to accept the way that laws are oppressive of us and that authority can work on us.

Thought- the guy who designed my high school designed one prison I worked at built in 1899. The guy who designed the local public high school? Designed the super max place I also worked in.

There is nothing creepier than walking through a sallyport after passing armed guards, down a late-Victorian rotunda space and see guys streaming by in uniforms when you yourself went to school in a building of similar style... and wore a uniform.

I guess I feel like... our death penalty is part of that mix. Some states feel, to assert authority and the rule of law, they need to be able to engage in state-mandated killing, on behalf of the citizens. The fact that the practice causes social and political rifts between citizens isn't an accident. The fact that we know the death penalty is consistently unfairly applied isn't an accident. The punishment theater that surrounds the action of execution isn't lacking consideration.

It makes me heartsick that this is an issue on which people get elected. It bothers me an awful lot that our foundation institutions rely on the practice of State mandated killing. I really, really don't want my role as a member of "the people" to be associated with that kind of act.

The world is dehumanizing enough as it is.

EternalFootwoman

@PistolPackinMama Your comparison of your high school to prison...have you read Foucault's writings about the Panopticon? Because it kind of blew my mind when I was thinking similar things.

laurel

@PistolPackinMama All enormously thought-provoking, especially your basis in statehood and public architecture. My feelings about the DP are in constant, irreconcilable conflict. I reject the idea that states have the right to deprive citizens of life. I want the DP suspended because of how ridiculously unfairly it's applied. The knowledge that we've undoubtedly executed innocent people due to the limitations of criminology--mistakes, lack of technology, willful ignorance--makes me feel sick.

But as a person, not just an American, I also feel like if you can't not chainsaw babies or whatever, maybe you forfeit the value of your own life? I mean, if you can't conduct yourself with even the minimum regard for others it requires to not willfully kill them, maybe we can do without you?

Not really a legit argument for the DP, I realize. But I understand the perspective of the pro-DPers.

Did you see the recent Hertzog doc Into the Abyss?

PistolPackinMama

@EternalFootwoman Yep. That is exactly where my ability to cope with working in a prison came from. BECAUSE WHEN I AM ANXIOUS I INTELLECTUALIZE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. Also, one of the best students ever asked me "damn, did this guy do time? Because he sure knows what he is talking about." I am sure Foucault, up in French social theorist heaven was all "hah hah hahh eet is true! I do know! But non! I did not do ze time!"

@laurel I haven't seen the doc. I should, shouldn't I? And, yeah. I appreciate the DP is a way for people to process all that horror at the awful things people can do to their fellow citizens. I do understand that. My feeling on that is:

1) It will never be fair or consistent in application. It just won't.

2) If you really want someone to suffer? Send them to an Alabama prison for the rest of their lives.

3) For me, and this really for me personally and no one else should have to look at it this way, but I do: I feel like terrible people doing terrible things is the reason I still stick with being a secular Catholic sort of believer in Jesus but not really. I am a better person. A much, much better person, if I let go of the right to judge so completely and so harshly as to impose the DP.

Prisons are sick, dehumanizing places. The death penalty is a sick, sick institution, and the closer you get to it- if you work in a prison that has it, if you are around people who have it as a sentence, or would if you were in another state- the closer you are to that sickness.

I would not ever, ever ever everevereverever want to have to actually carry the death penalty on another person out. No. And, no. No. So, I do not ever ever want it done for me as a citizen.

That's a poison I just don't need to touch.

Unconditional love for humanity, and the desire to be able to forgive can be as hard as a motherfucker, but they are still worth pursuing.

Tuna Surprise

@laurel
I totally agree with you. If I were in charge, the death penalty would be gone on pure fairness/progressive principals but sometimes, ugh, you hear about horrible crimes and think 'there has to be something more than just putting this person in a cell'.

Also, I was surprised with how Herzog was more balanced than I thought he would be. I just expected a full-blown 'America-sucks' fest.

EternalFootwoman

@PistolPackinMama I get sick thinking about the DP, although it is, interestingly, because of my religious beliefs (I see Jesusdom as all about unconditional love and being non-judgy). I'm going to be way less intelligent-sounding than you, but I just cannot imagine how terrible prison in general is, particularly if someone is on death row.

I honestly feel that most people who are for the DP think that it means an awful, unrepentant child-murderer gets killed immediately after sentencing. I can't conceive of someone being fully educated about prison life and the DP and still thinking it's a good idea.

_questingbeast

@laurel I think the argument that some crimes are so awful they should not be allowed to live is understandable. But that argument misses the fact that no one can ever be absolutely certain of those crimes. I've heard advocates of the death penalty say, well, the accused gets the same process of law as for a non-death penalty crime, and the punishment is a separate decision. But of course it isn't at all; however little reasonable doubt there is when committing someone to life imprisonment, the opportunity for new evidence and admitting a mistake has been made is always there. It never is with the death penalty. Humans are never infallible, but choosing the death penalty is assuming they can be.

laurel

@Tuna Surprise: I wasn't surprised! Herzog is a person of boundless understanding of human nature. I found his subjects' willingness to speak so openly to him amazing, given his accent, his documentary filmmakerness, etc. But he has a way about him.

@PistolPackinMama I'm not talking about assuaging the wronged party's need for process. I'm speaking of an abstract idea that if you can't respect life then your claim to your own is called into question. It's not that I want killers to suffer. If I were to take my argument to its extreme, I'd want to revoke their right to be alive since they've treated life with so little reverence. I feel like maybe the lives of people who take a pickaxe to another person in the course of a robbery don't have the same value as people who don't.

Please understand my use of "want" is meant to imply the conclusion my thoughts and reactions lead me to. I don't want anyone to suffer or die. And I don't think the DP should be legal. If I could wave a magic wand and remove people, convicted with certainty, from the face of the Earth, maybe. But as applied by mortals, no. We can't do it well so we shouldn't do it at all.

I'd be interested to hear your reaction to 'Into the Abyss'. And I believe you have a far deeper understanding of these issues, as they play out IRL, than I. I respect that.

PistolPackinMama

@laurel this is just so interesting to read, because... I dunno. I just wouldn't ever frame the way I sort through this issue in that way. It def. brings a way to see how people can be fundamentally accepting of DP in a way that I will fundamentally not. Maybe it's an anthro thing? Or a human rights interest person thing? That I am not going to be likely to say "you have forfeited your place in the human family, and are no longer One of Us."

Were you, perchance, a philosophy student at any point? This def. has a flavor of a philosophical mind to it.

Anyway. I would also like to say... I went to dinner with a pal and I asked her what her thoughts on DP were. One thing she said that I agree is so, so important is... citizens should think about and talk about this issue and what it means for them and for society. People who are close to/specialists in this sort of stuff are not the only people with a stake in it, nor should they be the last word in discussions about it.

People should really do what everyone here is doing and talk about it and think it through, because it is so important. Everyone as a citizen brings something to the table, and what they say and where they say it from really matters, sometimes for different reasons, but contributions to the discussion matter.

Both pal and I were adamant that one big problem for us is, Americans don't know what they want from/ expect the practice of DP to do. Is it retribution? Justice? Security? Some combination? We don't seem to tease that out very well.

I have a lot of respect for people bringing honest opinions to the table, and wanting to talk about those opinions, and that includes everyone here.

I was also thinking about how state mandated killing is a public show of state power. I think it's really interesting how extra-legal rendition allowed the US to exert power on the bodies of perceived enemies without having to make a public statement. It's like... we don't know what to say with these bodies, and we don't know how we want to use them symbolically, but we do know we want to exert force in pursuit of... whatever it is they wanted. We know! Send them to Syria. (WTH?!?!?)

ETA: Herzog is on the list of semi-tasking TV now. Will report back.

laurel

@PistolPackinMama "Were you, perchance, a philosophy student at any point? This def. has a flavor of a philosophical mind to it."

Dude. Did you just call me a juicebox?

Nope, English Lit. I am, in life, deeply sympathetic to those in circumstances--poverty, disenfranchisement, ridiculously poor public education, garbage parenting--that bring them to places they, if treated with respect, wouldn't otherwise be. One of my clients--I work in communications and fundraising--is the foundation that is trying to improve our dismal local public school system, one that feeds many of its charges directly into the penal system (in a town host to the site of one of the country's most notorious prison riots, where the conditions that gave rise to it are as horrifying as what went down during the riot). I don't know this stuff the way you do, but I'm not oblivious.

"That I am not going to be likely to say 'you have forfeited your place in the human family, and are no longer One of Us.'" I don't think I--or anyone--can actually kick someone out of the human family based on an incomprehension of the ability to commit violent cruelty.

But I am tired of violence and cruelty. I reject violence and cruelty. I'm not pro-death penalty because in practice it is violence and cruelty. Our prison-based economy is repugnant. But professionally and personally, I have more concern for those who've not pounded a pickaxe into the chest of someone they're robbing than I do for those who have.

I don't think you get to claim, at my expense, a greater interest and investment in human rights. And your implication that your position has the greater claim on capital H human capital R rights than my ambivalence makes me regret responding to your original comment, despite your middle four paragraphs.

I too anticipated the Herzog doc as kind of a chore but found it not to be so--he has a matter-of-factness and an acceptance of human frailty that seem rare. The sequencing of his interviews, and the conclusions it lead me to, were compelling without reinforcing my tolerance for the idea of the death penalty at all.

PistolPackinMama

@laurel Oh gosh. I am sorry! I didn't mean it that way. I just meant, I really wish the US had signed the UNDHR, and it rejects the death penalty, and theoretically-speaking-wise, I am kind of stuck there.

I do not by any means think I have a better claim on the conversation, at all. It's just that's the route I took to the conversation. I am so sorry! Other people get there other ways, and they are really different, and that might explain some of the difference is all?

[[Side note... also, even if I did have some sort of special Human Rights Theory Pass... well, ugh. Because modern human rights theory/law is drawn from a history of colonial oppression and violence. So it's kind of not perfect in itself, anyway. It's just a way of getting on in the world.]]
Also, I used to think philosophers were wack. But I had to teach Plato this year. Now I don't think it's wack, just not comfortable or easy for me to do/think. Philosophy= hard. It's like mind-math. And I dunno, your first post seemed like it might have come from there. So no, not a juicebox.

Re: "But I, professionally and personally, have more concern for those who've not pounded a pickaxe into the chest of someone they're robbing than I do for those who have."

I think that seems fair. Priorities are kind of a reality when it comes to concern/use of resources/focus.

And, I am not trying to nit-pick or tell you you are a bad person or complain about your perspective, I am really just asking, emotionally-speaking wise, this:

"But as a person, not just an American, I also feel like if you can't not chainsaw babies or whatever, maybe you forfeit the value of your own life? I mean, if you can't conduct yourself with even the minimum regard for others it requires to not willfully kill them, maybe we can do without you?"

And "you are not entitled to a place in the human family" read as pretty much the same thing to me? But they aren't? And I get, by the way, that that is a feeling/emotion/perspective, and not a policy statement in any way.

Again, I am super sorry!

PistolPackinMama

@PistolPackinMama I really would like to say... I am not being precious or ass-kissy when I say

1) every citizen's role in the discussion is important.

2)I get there are differences in attitudes about criminals: what to do with them, and that people think the way they think/feel for a reason.

3) And of course I am committed to wanting to be right in my take on this stuff. That's how this sort of stuff is supposed to go, eventually. But that doesn't mean I am not supposed to be challenged or have holes in my thinking. And I understand why other people are committed to wanting to be right, too.

4) Okay, so. I am going to do my level best to not be (I was going to say judgmental, but that's not the right word... retributive? Something else?) about double murderers having access to college classes in prison. I am sure as shooting not going to be judgmental about non-felonious persons having varied views on the criminal justice system.

laurel

@PistolPackinMama

There's a difference between "not [being] entitled to" rights and "forfeiting" them. The first means you're never allowed to have them. The second means you had them and lost them based on your own actions. They're not equal injustices.

Blerg, I wrote a big long thing about priorities, but that's not really the point. I'm in favor access to college classes for double murderers.

PistolPackinMama

@laurel Oh, I see. That makes sense. Thanks for explaining.

aliceandstuff

So I think I might be moving to New York! I am applying and interviewing for jobs right now and if I get an offer I am totally going. Can anyone give me a primer on things I should know before and after moving?

Example: I read about broker fees but are there any other costs to having an apartment in brooklyn? The rent prices on craigslist for some places seem lower than I was expecting (anything below $1500/month for a one bedroom).

bot
bot

@aliceandstuff Expect it to take a while to find a place, and be as flexible as you can. Like, "I need to find a place this particular weekend, and I must move in this particular day"... might be almost impossible. I've had a number of friends find good places by moving somewhere temporary first (subleasing for the end of someone's term, etc.) and getting the lay of the land before they moved somewhere more long term. A pain, yes, but it could be worth it to be able to make a less pressured and more informed decision.

Good luck!

Ophelia

@aliceandstuff If at all possible, try to spend a day wandering around the neighborhoods you like/are looking at apartments in. That way, you'll know whether that awesome, $1500 1-BR is truly awesome, or unfortunately located right next to a highway or a club or something (it very well might just be awesome, though!). You'll also be able to get a sense of how far it is to a subway stop from the places you're looking, and what the general vibe is.

alebee

@aliceandstuff OH MAN do you want to sublet my room (big, nice) up by Columbia for the summer?? June 1-Aug 31...then you can figure out where you really wanna be! And you're by a lot of trains. And the park!

supernintendochalmers

@aliceandstuff I live in Brooklyn! First, don't include your current address on your resume. I moved from Long Island and potential employers totally gave me the side-eye, which, ridiculous. Also, I would totally agree with people here who suggest subletting before you commit to a place. I did this and I was so glad I did, especially since I had never lived in NYC before. It really helped me become familiar with different neighborhoods and subway lines and decide where I wanted to live. $1500 for a 1 br in Brooklyn is probably towards the low end, it really depends on the neighborhood though. Generally the further East you go in Brooklyn, the "worse"/more unsafe the neighborhoods, although gentrification is pushing those boundaries further out. That is a horribly general statement, also. But it might be helpful to someone who has never lived here before.

Oh! Also, typically the cost for a new place is 3 months' rent, or possibly 2 months' rent and then 10-12% of a year's rent for a broker fee. Sometimes you will have to pay a non-refundable $50 or so for a credit check, but usually when you're at that point, you've got the apartment locked down. Check bedbugregistry.com before you live anywhere and Google the address and building management as well. There are some serious slumlords in the city, but most of them have been bitched about on the Internet. But in general, just trust your gut. Good luck!!! This really is an amazing place to live.

aliceandstuff

@alebee Maybe?!? It depends if I get any offers or not by then, that sounds perfect though. When do you need to know by?

joie

heeelllpppp. I'm throwing a bachelorette party next weekend and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. So far I've got: fancy dinner reservations. Suite in fancy hotel. Loose plan of pub-crawling/drinking that will end at said fancy hotel. Brunch in the morning? Is this it? I feel like I'm supposed to bake penis cupcakes or something. I've only been to one bachelorette party, and it was for a lesbian wedding, and we went to a bar and got smashed and danced on the counter. This is for my best friend, who is fun, but also fairly conservative, and I don't know what to doooooo. There will be 4-6 ladies partying. Anyone have fun/unique party games/ideas?

bot
bot

@heyits I am scared of conventional bachelorette things, but I have had some fun at some parties anyway. They usually revolved around "fancy lady" things - manicures, drinks that come with fruit on sticks in them, dressing up, anything that sparkles... That can feel like a special night without involving penis-shaped foodstuffs.

Is there a Beauty Bar type place in your town, where you can get manicures AND have drinks?

At a friend's party, while we were sitting around eating snacks, we ended up all giving toasts to her, loosely related to her impending marriage - wishing the best and expressing our love. That ended up being very sweet, so maybe you can tell people to plan a little toast? (Or don't plan it, just announce "now everyone's going to toast Friend!")

frigwiggin

@heyits That sounds pretty good to me--I am kind of over the penis-related stuff, personally. It's tired. I'm helping throw a bachelorette party next weekend, and asked the bride about it, and she was like, "um, the world is penis-centric enough as it is, let's leave that out for the night." But we are doing a burlesque lesson from a local teacher, and then dinner (with a boob-sculpting mashed potato contest), and probably champagne mimosas after? I think that bachelorette parties get trumped up like they have to be the best thing ever omgggg, but a low-key one could be perfectly sweet and fun. (Same thing could be said about weddings, frankly.)

_questingbeast

@heyits That sounds awesome! I feel like, the less organised the better; good friends and booze is good fun, endless activites makes it seem a bit like Girl Guide camp.

joie

@frigwiggin I agree, there are plenty of dicks in the world already (see what I did there?)...I think that explains my hesitance to go that route. Your bachelorette party sounds fantastic!
@y'all Thanks for the feedback. I'm definitely a low-key, in the moment kinda gal, and to do something that's planned down to the minute is waaaaay out of my comfort zone. I will definitely be doing an impromptu toast. Really, I just want my friend to feel loved. I want everyone to have fun.

Porn Peddler

omg my week. you guys. I can't even recount the insane ridiculousness of my fucking week.

Ask your sexual deviant because I just feel like talking about sex things! (finally the sex diary post! weee! I WANT EXCERPTS.)

LeafySeaDragon

@Third Wave Housewife or use this thread to post stories. i need to live vicariously.

it's at the point where i don't even care if i have sex ever again because i am pissed about it. but i also feel guilty for being pissed because the man is tired and stressed out. i need to be more understanding.

null

@LeafySeaDragon I don't mean to turn this into a post about NOT having sex (sorry Third Wave Housewife!!) but DUDE I am in the same boat and I am going fucking crazy. I feel like the shittiest partner for having these stupid needs, but... ahhhh... wishing them away isn't exactly working.

Porn Peddler

@LeafySeaDragon I have very little but...the last time I had sex, we had sort of gone without for a while, and everything was soooo prolonged and intense. Tons of making out beforehand, tons of groping and grabbing and nibbling and foreplay and AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH IT RULED. I'm away from Mister right now :( And by the time I get back to him we will have gone ALMOST. TWO. WEEKS. (okay but you see, I live with him and I want to fuck all the time and have to deal with seeing him lounging around shirtless and he and MG were talking on Monday and all I could think was NOW BOTH OF YOU TAKE YOUR SHIRTS OFF AND MAKE OUT. NOW FUCK!!!!)

OhMarie

@Third Wave Housewife I have a question!!! Nipple toys that are not painful nipple toys? Is this a thing?

Cat named Virtute

@klaus Sorry guys! I guess I've been hogging your sex. Because normally I'm not having any, ever, but this week I diiiiid. Saw hometown ladyfriend. There was lots of making out and sexy times and I was hiding hickies from my parents (I stayed with them) like a fourteen year old and it was kind of great.

Also I had my second hands-free orgasm ever by total accident on the shuttle bus coming home from the airport. It was awesome, but I definitely made a little noise and felt conspicuous. Apparently it's travel that does it to me, because the first one was on a particularly tiny plane from Ottawa from Montreal.

null

@Marika Pea@twitter YOUUUUUUU. *shakes fist angrily in your direction*

Nah, that sounds hot. Get it, girl!

Cat named Virtute

@klaus Sorry! I'm back in other-home now, so you can have it back! As I'm sure I won't be having any more in a while.

But yeah, it was pretty hot. She's so awesome and cute and sardonic, and we're not really in a relationship place, but every time I'm home we're like two teenagers all over one another and I looove it.

Cat named Virtute

@Marika Pea@twitter God, I really need to make my Hairpin account more anonymous. This is going to result in major awkwardness eventually. I thoughtlessly linked my mother to Ask a Handy Femme a few months ago and now live in terror that she's reading about my sexcapades and shitty mental health/grad school situations.

DH@twitter

It is May the Fourth and I have a whiskey sour with a Han-Solo-in-carbonite ice cube.

TheDragon

I have a question for you Pinner gardeners. I know there are some of you out there!
I want to get my mom Tulip bulbs for Mother's day. I think she'd be happy with pretty much any color, but I feel like I saw some once that were kind of white and red melding into each other? Those were very pretty.
She lives in Missoula, Montana, and is kind of a plant killer. My entire family is. WE TRY REALLY HARD, OK? So I need tulip variates that handle cold decently and are pretty tough to kill.
Suggestions? Thanks so much for your help!

_questingbeast

@The Kendragon Gardener's World has great articles for everything, and this one on hardy tulips seems like it might be helpful http://www.gardenersworld.com/plants/features/wildlife/growing-species-tulips/1119.html

Brunhilde

@The Kendragon You plant tulip bulbs in the fall, do you want to give her blooming ones that she can put in the ground later?

Brunhilde

@Brunhilde Missoula is in Zone 5A according to Tulip World. You could send her an already blooming Amaryllis?

TheDragon

@Brunhilde
That is an awesome idea. I knew that you planted them in fall, but that was all.

TheDragon

@The Kendragon
I decided to go ahead and order her bulbs while I was thinking about it. They will ship September 15, and her birthday is September 22, so I have a birthday present! (I just need to remember that in a few months.) Back to square one for Mom's day presents.)

lora.bee

I cannot stop eating chocolate today. CANNOT STOP EATING IT. We were all running around at a work event last night, so I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow. And I really like this one boy, but he has been flaky this week! Why must you be so flaky?

Now that word looks strange.

LeafySeaDragon

i updated my resume today and sent it out to a few places. realization: both of my references are bankrupt and out of business! i have had two jobs ever in my life! i'm not holding out for a callback.

claireh

@LeafySeaDragon can you facebook your colleagues or supervisors? personal numbers are ok...

LeafySeaDragon

@claireh honestly it's been like 10 years since i worked there and i can't recall. :/ all web links i have and phone numbers redirect to b&n.com (i used to work for waldenbooks)

claireh

@LeafySeaDragon oh well at least its a recognized brand, so that's probably ok. plus they won't even check your references till after you wow them on your interview, so it doesn't matter yet.

dj pomegranate

@LeafySeaDragon BOTH places I worked for my last two jobs are currently being inspected for misappropriation of funds and corruption. Surprisingly, only one interview ever asked about it, and it was for the job I ended up getting immediately after my interview. You are awesome! Rock the interviews!

living internationally

NEW JOB. Nearly exactly 2 years after graduating I FINALLY have my first real job. Not my dream role, but still they will be paying me (well!) to do what I spent 7 years training to do.

Delighted is an understatement.

Tuna Surprise

@lessismore CONGRATS!!!

Dizzy

Seems like today is a good day to do the semidelurk- hi there, Hairpin! I have the entire house to myself this weekend which is exciting from a not-wearing-clothes angle but less exciting because my housemates are pretty much the only people I know in this town as of 3 weeks ago. But mostly silence will be amazing. Any Ontario 'pinners going to the Hillside Music Festival this year?

Cat named Virtute

@Dizzy What Ontario town are you in? Maybe I can help!

Dizzy

@Marika Pea@twitter I'm in Sudbury, I shouldn't have a problem getting there (thanks, though!)- just curious if anyone was planning on being there. It'll be my first time and I am stoked for some Joel Plaskett!

Cat named Virtute

@Dizzy Alas! I have a friend who just moved back to Guelph and some friends in Toronto. Have fun!

crookedlegs

@Dizzy Heeeeey I might be at Hillside this year! Nothing decided, but I have a friend who's originally from Guelph who goes every year, and I have a whooole summer off.

Also, you SHOULD be stoked for Plaskett. He is the shit.

claireh

guys, thank god it's friday! i'm moving so i'm trying to find a job AND an apartment and on top of that i volunteer for this org that is a huge time suck. ugh, will the universe please just give me a perfect job/apt combo so i can stop worrying and stressing?!

Megasus

@claireh I wish there was like a dedicated man or someone works for the city's whose sole job is to find out of towners suitable apartments. And it's a free service.

claireh

@Megano! i know. its totally a full time job to find a place. and all the realtors are like 'oh we're only open M-F till 4:30'. but i have work, and live two hours away, so yeah THAT DOESN'T WORK. isn't Sat viewings like a requirement of being a realtor?

Megasus

@claireh Totally!

EternalFootwoman

My birthday is on Monday. In December, I got my master's in a field I reeeeeaaaaallllly love. I don't have a job yet, in large part because I limited my search to local jobs only because I was in an amazingly great relationship and wanted to stick around to let it develop. The significant other dumped me completely out of the blue (a week after we'd attended a wedding together and gone on a multi-night trip together). This frees me to apply for ALL THE JOBS EVERYWHERE, which I've been doing. But my loans will come due next month, and I set my birthday as the deadline for finding a job with my master's. So next week I am going to start applying for jobs in my (hated-but-really-easy-to-become-employed-in) bachelor's field. I feel really whiny because there are people who would kill for a job, because I'm really lucky to be able to live with my mom rent-free (which is a major load off w/r/t living expenses), I'm healthy and etc. But it's just killing me that I had this lifelong dream to get into this field and I'm unemployed because I was stupid enough to let "love" dictate my actions.

Xanthophyllippa

@EternalFootwoman Reassurance? December-May isn't that long to be unemployed with a Master's, especially if it's in a highly specialized or (like me) arcane field. You're now already In The Field, so look at whatever job you take in the meantime as a holding pattern and keep your eyes on the prize.

(Easy for me to say, though -- I took a holding pattern job and came to really enjoy it.)

mystique

@EternalFootwoman Why not have love -- without quotation marks -- dictate your actions, a bit? I mean, you loved your SO then, right? You just don't love em the same now. But you were happy during that time, at least, right?

Also, I agree, 5 months is not long to be unemployed under a specialized field. I belieeeeve in you, though!

billie_crusoe

@EternalFootwoman I feel your pain. We do silly things for love. But I agree, a months-long gap after graduation probably isn't going to kill your opportunities in your master's field. But I know how much it sucks - I've been unemployed 9 out of 24 months since I got my master's, and now I'm in a crappy filler job. (But my Master's was only really good for getting a PhD, which I'm starting this fall.)

Also? As wonderful as it is to have free housing, it kind of sucks to have to go back to non-adulthood and live with family. I live with an aunt and uncle right now (and probably will for the next 4 years because I'm choosing to use my rent money on a decent new car / save the rest), and even though it's a financially responsible decision, I get cranky about it sometimes.

EternalFootwoman

@Xanthophyllippa @mystique @che Thanks for the reassurance! My field isn't super-odd (I'm a midwife), and I would most likely have a job if I'd started a nation-wide search right after graduation instead of limiting it to one area. I actually have had some responses to applications this week, so I'm feeling better about that! Mostly it's good to know that I'm allowed to be cranky--I feel like I have it so much better than a lot of unemployed people, so I shouldn't complain. Which just makes me feel guilty AND cranky.

MilesofMountains

Today has not been a very good day. This morning I found out a senior person at work has been using me as a scapegoat for the last 4 months for her badly-managed project going $60,000 over budget, most of which had nothing to do with me. And now a few hours ago my father texted me to tell me that my grandfather had a fall and is dying. I don't like my grandfather very much and it's nowhere near a surprise, but it's still a bit upsetting.

OxfordComma

@MilesofMountains : Oh, I am so sorry, honey.

My grandfather died a few weeks ago, and it was (is) upsetting, even though we weren't close either.

Love to you--you'll get through this.

EvilAuntiePeril

@MilesofMountains Unbelievable about work - that truly sucks. Do you have any documentation/evidence that challenges the senior person's statements? Can you talk to someone at work who knows the situation? Does the senior person have a track record of doing this?

And sorry about your grandfather as well. Always upsetting - and feelings like yours make it complicated and hard.

mystique

So I'm finally getting drinks with that guy on the day before I leave -- the guy who likes me but seems shy and I haven't kissed anyone ever. Even though I know I'm overthinking it (HOW DO I STOP OVERTHINKING IT YOU GUISE) I'm like, oh, I have to try and kiss him. But...he's tall. And I always ask before touching anyone (including hugs!! people should do this!). And what if he doesn't want to kiss me actually what then and what if I'm really embarrassing and seriously he's so tall compared to me. I come up to just below his shoulder argh argh why wasn't Daniel Radcliffe available

So...any first kissing tips?

Also I'm avoiding writing a paper now...it's my LAST THING but I'm just procrastinating the hell out of it.

OxfordComma

@mystique : Don't hate me, but let it happen.

:)

Keep your mouth soft, and stand on your toes so the neck strain is lessened.

Cheers to make outs!!!

_questingbeast

@mystique Touching on the arm. Bit of a cliche, but makes it clear you're interested without being embarrassing (and basically essential for the much taller man). Do it while saying 'can you pass me my drink/other thing near you' if really shy.

dj pomegranate

@mystique My first kiss was super awkward -- I was 21 and dating an older much more experienced dude! Basically I did a little tentative peck on the cheek/chin--totally missed the lip area. Then he was all, "Oh, she wants to kiss!" and it progressed quite naturally from there. My tip: loosen up your lips a bit--if you are like me and tense all the time, it takes some practice to relax and get in the moment. Follow his lead (I mean, pay attention to how he responds, whether it's "I like this, I am going for it!" or "Hm, donno about this, gonna try this other thing.") You'll be fine. Kissing is fun! Maybe try it when you're both sitting down to equalize the height?

frigwiggin

@mystique I don't think you can get much dopier than my first kiss--the guy I liked/was hanging out with in college started...poking me in the face with his nose. I mean, it was to be silly, so whatever, but it WAS extremely silly.

Reginal T. Squirge

@mystique Ok, this is super-secret information I'm about to give you here, so shhhhh....

The first girl I kissed (when I was 18, natch) basically taught me all I know. She was really patient and nice and cool about the whole thing. But the best advice she (or maybe anyone) gave me was SLOW DOWN.

Cat named Virtute

@mystique Hmmm. Normally I would say ask in a slightly sexy way if you can see the person again, and if they reply to the affirmative, ask or move in for the kiss. But if he's leaving, that's trickier. Can you warm things up with some knee-bumpin' or hand touchin'? If he doesn't recoil, he's probably on board, and you can proceed to the kiss.

I am also the most awkward anxious person ever, but I have made out with a decent number of people all in all, and this advice has served me well.

AniaGosia

@mystique here is my tip: wait until things are feeling like kissing might happen (cozy), look him in the eye for a second longer than you otherwise would, and then look down at his lips and part yours just a tiny bit. It has always worked for me! Good luck!!

PistolPackinMama

@mystique AGH! FIRST KISSES ARE AWESOME. Seriously. Like... who cares if it is awkward? It's kissing! And kissing is awesome.

And forever after, ever person you kiss for the first time is like a tiny reminder of the first person you ever kissed ever. But also a new adventure in kissing... kisses!

Anyway. Some thoughts...

1) Who says you have to be standing to kiss this boy? What if you are, like, sitting on a blanket in a park? Or, on a bench? Or, on a sofa. Then you can leeeeeeeeean in and you'll be more on the level. Or if you are in a place where you can kneel and lleeeeeeaaaaannnn in.

2) Also... I dunno. I have no problem with asking, or having people ask me. People should ask before they touch you. I approve of that. it's good practice for being enthusiastic consenting partners all the way. Be confident about it, and you can totally make asking look like the foxy lady thing to do and not the awkward awkward thing to do.

3)And who cares if he says "no?" Like, really. Last night in town/ chance to see each other. Then summer/forever/whatever. Perfect! If he says no, then move along with your summer, no harm no foul. If he says yes, then wooo hooo do the kissing! Send him on his way with something to smile about.

4) I am kind of in favor of you starting your kissing life in a take-charge sort of way. That is a good quality for a lady to have.

You seem awesome. Lucky boy, maybe kissing you.

Cat named Virtute

@PistolPackinMama The thing about the little bit of the person you first kiss staying with you is super adorable, but @mystique, in the event things don't go well, it's not a kiss-sentence! My first kiss was at a carnival with my high school boyfriend when I was 14. Adorable right? Except that it was kind of like being licked by a dog (so. much. spit.) and I felt vaguely distracted through most of it (this is totally normal, people don't tell you this enough! It took me YEARS to start having make outs that I actually focused on instead of idly wondering about various other things). The bad parts will fade! You will be fine and then get better! And yes, PPM is so right, kissing is awesome!

PistolPackinMama

@Marika Pea@twitter This is very true. As awesome as kissing is, it's not negotiating a way out of the financial crisis in Greece. You can have an underwhelming experience first time around (or insert any of the other times thereafter here), and move along to the next one, you know? The Euro will not collapse if you have mediocre/embarrassing sexy encounters. This is a lucky thing, because I probably could have brought down the economies of several small countries, if it did.

Megasus

Man, I leave for 2 hours, and look what happened!
Also ugh I have been writing about dental surgeries/plastic surgeries/botox for like TWO STRAIGHT DAYS. I have probably never seen so many naked body parts at one time in my life.
But next week I get to go to an event where there is the potential for free beauty products AND tea, ONLY TWO OF THE GREATEST THINGS.

OxfordComma

@Megano! : TAKE ME WITH YOU.

...please?

Inkling

@Megano!
I hope you get email notifications so you can see this!
Remember last open thread when your ex was being a poophead on your birthday and I asked if it would make you feel better if I defriended my ex on his birthday?
Well I did.
I'm really glad I forgot about/saved the defriending for something special!

Megasus

@Inkcrafter Awww!

kittens

Does anyone have any good tips for how to fix up all my sundresses that gape horribly at the bosom? Last year I just safety-pinned them every morning, but I have more dresses this morning and would also like to be able to take my dresses off without forgetting they're pinned and almost tearing them. Should I just take them to a tailor? I've spent a really frustrating amount of time trying to find somewhere to buy snaps either online or in person.

wharrgarbl

@kittens Hook and eye closures! As recommended by A Femme!

OxfordComma

@kittens : Yup to the hookneye--and snaps in between the buttons on your button-down shirts.

kittens

Is there a good place to buy these magical things? (I'm in NYC). I swear, I'm usually better at the internet!

Honestly I feel like my grandma, I just wanna go to Woolworths!

CurlsMcGirlypants

@OxfordComma I tried using snaps for my blouses, and when I could see them when I looked at myself from the side in the mirror. They weren't even tight blouses! :/

wharrgarbl

@kittens Any craft/sewing shop will have them. They're usually in with the snaps, zippers, etc.

OxfordComma

@CurlsMcGirlypants : Clear snaps?

CurlsMcGirlypants

@OxfordComma The issue was more the fact that the snaps created a gap due to their width, i.e. they didn't allow the fabric to lie (lay? I'm an idiot) completely flat. Though clear snaps might help a bit...

LeafySeaDragon

@kittens take one to a tailor and see what they did. it's pretty easy to alter them, but you have to know how to pull it in.

AniaGosia

@kittens I use double sided tape... Not permanent though, obviously

KatPruska

@kittens Garment district! 37th, 38th, 39th, between 7th and 8th aves, and radiating out from there, tons of little shops with sewing notions and other crafty accoutrements.

KellyStitzel

Currently having a discussion with one of my British friends about our excitement over our favorite time of year: the Eurovision Song Contest. Anyone else into it?

_questingbeast

@KellyStitzel Bang excited about the final, hugely disappointed about the UK entry (as usual). I keep hoping Englebert Humperdinck being the entrant is some terrible joke set up by pensioners.

KellyStitzel

@questingbeast I am rooting for Ukranian Beyoncé: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-LyyCxlSFc

I am sort of obsessed with her song.

cuminafterall

@KellyStitzel YES. That "YES" is an understatement. Have you watched all the semifinalists' clips yet? They're all available on Youtube! Just search for Eurovision 2012. What are your feelings on Jedward?

KellyStitzel

@cuminafterall I've watched them all at least four times -- I've written a 2012 preview for the pop culture site I write for. This year is abundant with crazy.

"Lipstick" was probably my favorite song last year and those boys are ridiculous (if you haven't ever read their Twitter, do so now -- it is amazing). Their song this year isn't as good, but I can't wait to see if they wear spiked shoulder pads again.

_questingbeast

@KellyStitzel I usually make it a strict rule not to watch any songs apart from the UK's before the TV finals, but I couldn't resist the use of Beyoncé there. THAT'S SO GOOD. Though a bit cheesier is usually my speed. My favourite of recent years: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kizLKALHm4

KellyStitzel

@questingbeast Oh, yeah. I'm super into Romania from 2010, partly because the song is so catchy and partly because DOUBLE LUCITE PIANO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OlG9g4-cyg

_questingbeast

@KellyStitzel YES THAT WAS AMAZING. I mean, who am I kidding trying to be discerning, I've never really got over Gina G (ROBBED in '96) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrQ2r_8Kl_4

cuminafterall

@questingbeast My favorite of recent years: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKUuRW2P0GA

"Sometimes I'm acting like a lady, sometimes woman, sometimes baby."

KellyStitzel

Since the contest is happening in Azerbaijan this year, let's not forget their debut in the contest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo0VrY5C-ow

PistolPackinMama

@KellyStitzel Liveblogged/ tweeted coverage of Eurovision makes my Spring, for sure. Love watching what people have to say.

frigwiggin

@KellyStitzel Ahhhhhfuck, it's that time of year again already? BRB freaking out at the amazingness of it all.

KellyStitzel

@frigwiggin Lemme know when you've watched the video of the participants from Russia.

frigwiggin

@KellyStitzel Oh. Mygod. LITTLE OLD LADIES.

KellyStitzel

@frigwiggin Right? I don't even know how to handle them.

TheDragon

I found pretty jeans that fit!
(I am built like a long skinny toothpick with an ASS, so that's an accomplishment. Especially because the average inseam length in my college state is more than half a foot shorter than mine!)

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon I have a 25" inseam. I should just buy jeans and give you the bottom 12" off each leg.

TheDragon

@Xanthophyllippa
I like this plan. I wear a 36 inseam, and it's impossible to find in the land of the compact Hispanic builds.
I'm also taller than about 40% of dudes here.

Terrifying Wife-Avatar

@The Kendragon Beyond late to this party, but please advise re: make/model of jeans? I have your body minus about 4" of inseam, so this is relevant to my interests.

TheDragon

@Nicole Sauvage@twitter
I splurged and got Silve Aiko jeans. They are a teensy bit loose in the thigh, but I can sit without showing crack! I've also had good luck with Gap's long and lean jeans. Also Levi has "Curve ID" jeans that are made for girls with diff sized butts. (I buy all of these on clearance, can't afford them at market price. Make sure of your measurements, and that the store has a good return policy.)
The main trick is to get one that sits a little higher on the hips, so that after they stretch they won't end up going all gangsta status and hanging off your butt.
If you need jeans that HUG every curve, I would suggest getting a nice pair that fits your butt, and go to a tailor. My rodeo show jeans and dancing jeans are tailor-fitted and I love them a ridiculous amount.

Terrifying Wife-Avatar

@The Kendragon Thanks for the info!

SarcasticFringehead

You guys! I had a really stressful week, and now I can't taste anything except at the very front and the very back of my tongue. I'm kind of freaking out, and kind of not? It's weird. And yogurt is gross when you can't taste it, fyi.

EpWs

@SarcasticFringehead This is not helpful but one time after I had McDonald's the entire roof of my mouth went numb for like three days.

bearleader

@SarcasticFringehead Sometimes my tongue gets weirdly numb when I'm stressed out. I think it's because I'm clenching my jaw all day?

SarcasticFringehead

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher That sounds also super-scary and weird. On the other hand, based on your clearly expert experience, I guess I can expect it to clear up in a day or two, right? Let's go with that.

EpWs

@SarcasticFringehead It was weird. Why it took me additional YEARS to stop eating McDonald's, I don't know. I hope yours clears up soon! Sooner than mine did, even!

SarcasticFringehead

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Thanks! I drank half a bottle of wine and am watching the Pirates of Penzance, so at least something fun is happening.

A Dolly

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher i somewhat recently (i have no idea why) had a mcdonalds bfast sandwich on my way to work. when i got to there my vision would not adjust to inside lighting for over a half hour. it looked the way lighting looks when a ceiling fan is on so naturally i thought i was having a stroke. i blame mcdonalds.

hulia

I am having a terrible afternoon at work, having basically been told that I'm not qualified to do something because I haven't done it before, which is true, but instead of challenging me and letting me use this as a learning opportunity so that I can do it right and well next time, I've just been taken off the assignment entirely. So instead of learning what I need to f'ing learn, I will apparently continue to flounder as an inexperienced lump on an internet-surfing log for all of eternity, reading sad MCA memorial pieces and pretending that that's why I'm crying at my desk.

Also, I can't find my pocket mirror and thus can't check whether I'm too red-eyed to step out of the office to pee. Where is the whiskey??

TheDragon

@hulia Oh honey.

Do we need to make the Haipin Vat of Hot Chocolate into a whiskey vat this week? 'Cause I'm down.

CurlsMcGirlypants

@hulia Oh noooooo, so sorry! :( That is such crap, how are you supposed to learn how to do anything if they won't help you? Couldn't they add another person to the assignment so you could work together and they could help you along? Could you try suggesting that? I wish I could send you a drink!!

Cat named Virtute

@hulia Oh man, that is majorly shitty, and it's an attitude that I'm running into more and more, and I HATE IT. I will join you in The Kendragon's whiskey vat. Slurp slurp slurp.

laurel

@The Kendragon You know what's really good? Hot chocolate spiked with whiskey.

TheDragon

@laurel
Works for me. Our alcoholic vat even has a lifeguard.
Bring your water wings.

hulia

@The Kendragon YES a vat of whiskey sounds fantastic. I might dip into that vat of hot chocolate, too, if it's still warm.

But seriously, thanks, guys. I'm just so frustrated because it's so indicative of how things are at this office, and it's like, how does management not get it!? How do you not see that if you never take the time to train me to do the things I am going to be expected to do in the near future, I will never be able to do them! Blaaaaaargh.

TheDragon

@hulia
Bosses: Sometimes they suck. I'm sorry, and I wish it were possible to point these things out without risking unemployment

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon Let's just have two vats: one of each, and I'll either float in the VoHC or lifeguard the VoW, depending on how many people are in need of the latter.

billie_crusoe

@hulia Oh, man, I'm sorry. That happened to me at my last job, and it made me SO ANGRY. I know that the job market is in employers' favor right now, but doesn't it cost them a lot to hire people and then not train them so that they can't do their jobs right? Sometimes adulthood sucks.

TheDragon

@Xanthophyllippa
I hope you noticed that I am suggesting that people bring water wings to make your life easier.
DISCLAIMER: The Kendragon only approves of water wings worn about the arms. NOT THE ANKLES. NEVER THE ANKLES.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon WORD. As Lifeguard of the VoW, I wil not save anyone who wears their water wings about the ankles.

(...because I have tried it myself and will never live it down.)

TheDragon

@Xanthophyllippa
I have tried it too! My dad had to jump in fully clothed and save me because my head was never coming above water again if he hadn't.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon Oh dear! I was lucky in that I was old enough (...to know better, but oh well) and strong enough that I could just do a weird kind of sit-up so my face was above water and pull them off on my own.

TheDragon

@Xanthophyllippa
I was somewhere around the ages of six or seven. So maybe I should have been strong enough, but I sure wasn't

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon Yeah, I was seventeen.

TheDragon

@Xanthophyllippa
Hey. You're never too old to make stupid decisions. Unfortunately.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon There really needs to be a cut-off.

CurlsMcGirlypants

Ahhhh, you guys. I just angry practiced the hell out of my violin. I just started contact with my biological father after never having spoken to him ever in my life and it is making me so upset, and I swear to go my life is a soap opera. I now have 3 total father-like figures in my life and I'm going nuuuuuts since I only really like one of them.

Has anyone else had to do that? How did you deal with a biological parent that you had never known and then suddenly pops up once you're already in your twenties (or however old you were)? What if you thought he was a juicebox since he never paid child support? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

OxfordComma

@CurlsMcGirlypants : I wish I had something useful for you, aside from MOAR ANGRY VIOLIN!!!!

And *love*, because it's hard. And I am sorry it's so fucking hard.

laurel

@CurlsMcGirlypants I haven't dealt with anything like what you're going through, but I can say this: if people aren't worth knowing, they're not worth knowing. Even if you're related to them.

And violin playing is the stuff! I mean, I can't even imagine being able to do it.

TheDragon

@laurel
You are also invited to hot chocolate/whiskey vat.

I wish that I had something useful to say, but I really don't. Just that I feel for you, and I don't think anyone needs to be in your life if you don't want them there.

CurlsMcGirlypants

Thanks you guys, I really appreciate it. And dear lord, the hot chocolate/whisky vat sounds amazinnnngggggg. I need that. Alternatively, a friend asked me to come and try the wine ice cream they made, so I shall at least be doing that.

And definitely more angry violin.

I just don't know. He's all like "I want to meet you in person one day!" and "let's be friends" and "I've thought about you every day" and "look at this picture of you I've always had in my wallet!" but COME ON. There were plenty of opportunities to do all of that, and isn't it a little late? I feel like by not even GOING to the court date for the custody battle, never paying child support (and there were days where my mom could barely afford to feed us) and neglecting to ever get in touch with me before don't help his case. I found out he's currently living in the states, and I'm considering taking him to court for the child support thing, because honestly I could use the money as an uber-poor and seriously ill grad student. I feel super-shitty for saying that, but still. What would you guys do??? Haaalp

laurel

@The Kendragon So this vat. Are we swimmin'? Quaffing? How does this work?

@CurlsMcGirlypants Have you considered telling him about your ambivalence about knowing him, given what he put your family through? "Really, you thought about me every day? Did you ever wonder if I was hungry? Or if mom was really stressed a lot of the time and what that was like for me? Can you understand if your absence during the time when I was most vulnerable and your reappearance now that I'm less dependent on other people make me a little angry and ambivalent about interacting with you at all?"

PistolPackinMama

@CurlsMcGirlypants Oh boy. So many feelings and things to sort out! Angry violin sounds like an ideal occupation for your time.

1) You can take your time with pater Absentius. I mean. It's been this long, you don't have to decide on or settle on a feeling. You can decide you don't want to talk to him... for now... you can decide you want to talk to him a little bit... for now... an then quit it later. You are a grown up, you can do what you want. And if mull this possibility over suits you? Do it.

2) Your dad's feelings on the matter really aren't your problem. They are his problem.

3)And you know, I think if you want to have any kind of relationship, you get to define what that is going to be. So, I dunno, you could, if you wanted, say "I really don't appreciate or know how to feel about the fact that you are saying you were interested in my life etc etc but never bothered with any of the obligations of parenthood. That does not make sense to me. For now, I would really like it if you laid off the Long Lost Daughter talk."

Xanthophyllippa

@The Kendragon HOT CHOCOLATE VAT.

CurlsMcGirlypants

@laurel @PistolPackinMama I have indeed told him of my ambivalence toward getting to know him (or dealing with him in general) due to what he put my mother and me through--I wrote it out all very clearly. And I certainly told him I didn't appreciate the fact that he was interested NOW, especially since I feel like it's more to make him feel less guilty than it is to get to know me.

I got an e-mail back from him a little bit ago and he said he didn't know if he could make amends but he really wants to be my friend and that he wants to start "anew." Which, what? What. He also attached pictures of himself from when he was younger and a more recent photo of him and his new wife, which ugh. What are the photos supposed to do? All it really did was make me pissed off at how much I look like him and not my lovely mother.

My half-brother (from our biological father's side from his first marriage) is also starting to pressure me a bit to talk to our father and try t get to know him, which pissed me off a bit. Unlike with myself, our father stayed active in my brother's life and never lost contact. My brother told me our father's a changed man and that he's not a giant asshole anymore (apparently they didn't get along until my brother was in his early twenties)--but I don't know how that is supposed to make this any different.

Ughhh, whatever. WHERE IS THE HOT CHOCOLATE + WHISKEY VAT???

TheDragon

@laurel I think we decided it was a swim/quaff sort of thing...

@CurlsMcGirlypants Ugh that would piss me off, too. ALL the hugs and spiked hot chocolate for you.

PistolPackinMama

@CurlsMcGirlypants hoo boy. I think I would still be in "what? What is that? WHAT?" mode. And the worst part is there's no manual to check. What is this supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel? Agh, answer: it isn't supposed to anything you aren't supposed to feel anything. It does what it does and you feel how you feel.

Swim/quaff/swim/quaff.

I was thinking the vat was kind of like a much less irritating/blargh than the set of Katy Perry's California Girls video. Like, a Candyland game, but not making your teeth hurt.

candybeans

@CurlsMcGirlypants damn, i'm sorry I haven't had time for the FOT until now! Hope you have email notifications! As someone who has had a bio dad that pops in and out of her life every couple years for the past 20 years or so, I've decided that I have zero obligation to have a relationship with someone just because I'm related to them by blood. My dad put my mother and i through a pretty tremendous amount of stress through my life, and still does occasionally, so I don't have very warm associations with him. I have a connection to that side of my genes through his parents, whom I see regularly, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on that side of my heritage or anything. I guess I'm saying, don't let anyone guilt you into a relationship. He may be a perfectly good man, but that doesn't mean you owe him anything. he's finally decided he's ready for a relationship with you, but that doesn't mean you have to be ready for such a relationship.

DH@twitter

For whatever reason I cannot reply to people! And I want RK Fire to tell me awesome non-spoilery things about Avengers because I'm not going until tomorrow! *pout*

EpWs

@DH@twitter I am having ISSUES with replies too! And I got to see Avengers EARLY and desperately want to talk to someone about it but I refuse to spoil! But YES TALK TO ME.

DH@twitter

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher

Given the rate of updates to this page, I suspect a lot of people are having issues. Usually it's refresh and BAM 120 more comments.

ANYWAY I AM EXCITE FOR CLINT. I love Hawkeye. I made loud noises when he appeared in Thor for twenty seconds. And tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day too and oh, it will be glorious.

EpWs

@DH@twitter LOOK AT THIS AWESOME AVENGERS-INSPIRED ART SHOW: ASSEMBLE. I just bought the DKNG one!

DH@twitter

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher

Shiiii one of those would be amazing on my superhero wall, but alas, my lack of monies. I kinda love the "we are riding on the Hulk!" one.

EpWs

@DH@twitter I JUST SAW IT AGAIN. You should probably go watch it immediately.

EpWs

GUYS I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL. FOREVER.

I had my last final on Thursday and I feel WEIRD now. I've got two lovely merciful weeks off before I start work (!!!) and don't quite know what to do with myself. It's...nice? Odd? Still hasn't sunk in? Anybody else been there?

ayo nicole

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher CONGRATULATIONS!! Everything's coming up roses.

_questingbeast

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Congrats! Everything's coming up Milhouse!

EpWs

@questingbeast @ayo nicole THANKS! I've had such an insanely good couple weeks (successful thesis defense, landed a job, boyfriend landed a job, i graduated, etc etc etc) that I'm feeling guilty about it. I'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop because I am a Worrier and that's just how we roll.

Xanthophyllippa

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher CONGRATULATIONS! Way to kick that higher ed right in the 'nads.

AniaGosia

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Wow, congratulations! That is so amazing!! Forget about that other shoes and just enjoy it!

EpWs

@Xanthophyllippa Hahahah, this is the best way ever of thinking about this. EAT IT, UNIVERSITY.
@AniaGosia Thank you! I will do my best. :)

billie_crusoe

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Congratulations!!!

I am also always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so, empathy.

anachronistique

THIS WEEK WAS SO BAD. So so so so so bad. SO BAD.

But tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day! And the Big Thrifty! (If you are a Boston 'Pinner who wears plus sizes, Unity Church in Somerville. 12-6 tomorrow. CLOTHES.) And new Legend of Korra! And a sidewalk sale in my neighborhood!

DH@twitter

@anachronistique

I had better get my paws on one of the Mouse Guard volumes Archaia is putting out! And the Star Wars/Serenity book. Yay freeeee comics.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

Awww yeeeeah, going to San Diego for the weekend. Wooo! Yeah! Also, wooo! If you want to meet up, look for me in the gaslamp district, face down on the sidewalk, missing a shoe.

Xanthophyllippa

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS I just bought a coconut.

Mingus_Thurber

@Xanthophyllippa Cool! I hope you have a hammer or something heavy to whack it with.

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa I love this. I love that this is on a Hairpin thread. I am full of love for this post.

Xanthophyllippa

@Mingus_Thurber I don't, but I have a friend with a new boyfriend.

@PistolPackinMama If you lived closer, I would share my coconut with you, for you share my glee about said coconut.

EpWs

@Xanthophyllippa WHY CAN'T I LIKE THIS COMMENT MORE

PistolPackinMama

@Xanthophyllippa Excellent. If I lived closer, I'd be right over.

Xanthophyllippa

@PistolPackinMama @The Everpresent Wordsnatcher VIRTUAL COCONUT all around!

Faintly Macabre

@Xanthophyllippa Likelikedoublelike and thank you for reminding me of that! I need to do that next time a friend pairs up, though that might be a while considering the dismal state of our love lives... Whatever, I'll just have to play yenta so I can buy a coconut.

Xanthophyllippa

@Faintly Macabre Buy that coconut! Then you'll have a formal reason to go man-shopping, as how on earth else would you open it?

Also coconuts are MAGIC and maybe if you buy one, a lovely man/woman/sex-or-gender of your choice will show up on your doorstep.

Xanthophyllippa

@Xanthophyllippa THE COCONUT, SHE IS OPEN.

Unevenly, though, so there goes my dream of making a coconut bra so melis and I can be twins.

Mingus_Thurber

Curious query for those of you still around: How'd you decide on your 'Pin name? (Apologies if this has been asked before; I haven't seen it.) Everpresent Wordsnatcher's obvious, yo, but *yours*?

Mine comes from two towns in central west Texas, Mingus and Thurber. I always figgered it'd be a great nom de 'Net.

PistolPackinMama

@Mingus_Thurber And here was me thinking you were a fsn of Jazz and essayists for The New Yorker! Oops!

I picked mine because I think it sort of represents my personality, and also the fact that my sense of fashion is living in 1945. And Pistol Packin' Mama is the name of a bomber that female flight crews and pilots ferried around. The men in the Army Air Corps were reluctant to fly the planes because of [[some issue or other with design]]. But since the women would pilot them as ferry-flyers, the guys were kind of obliged to, too.

I believe the women had a pretty good safety record with these planes.

And, I bonded with my dad over the Pistol Packin' Mama bomber photo with the lady-flight-crew once, and I like my dad.

LeafySeaDragon

@Mingus_Thurber i got really tired of my other username i've been using for about years and i love leafy sea dragons, and i'm kind of a bitchy hippy, so it works. link

The Lady of Shalott

@Mingus_Thurber I'm just lazy and I really love the poem/painting/myth/legend.

PistolPackinMama

@all I also look a wee bit like my icon from said famous photo.

frigwiggin

@Mingus_Thurber My current Pin-name is a slight deviation from my email and usual internet name these days--I'm not sure where that came from, just a hunk of garble that came out of my brain in college. Before that I had been using whiz_kid since I got my first email account at 11, and it was starting to get embarrassing.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Mingus_Thurber It's my sports bloggy name. (No association with the awesome Rookie mag, though.)

SarcasticFringehead

@Mingus_Thurber Mine is actually a fish. I saw it on Planet Earth, and I had been thinking about how I needed a cool user name if I ever wanted to comment on any cool sites. I thought, I have short hair, and am often sarcastic, and there it was.

Cat named Virtute

@Mingus_Thurber Mine is my pseudo alias from Twitter--I assumed it would link to my twitter handle, not my twitter name, and I haven't bothered to fix it. But after all my comments in the sex diaries thread, I'm thinking pretty seriously about changing it. Don't need anyone from real life knowin' this stuff.

Xanthophyllippa

@Mingus_Thurber I've actually been thinking about changing mine to something funnier, but it comes from a job I had a while back. All the email addresses were three letters based upon initials, and I got the null character of X since I have no middle name. People were always thrown off by the X, though, so I started telling them my middle name was Xanthophyllippa, and that I was named for my great-grandmother, who was a Greek botanist. No one ever got the joke, except for one person (in the 6 years I was there) who had read whichever Little House book it is where Laura takes the teacher exam and has to spell "xanthophyll."

EpWs

@Mingus_Thurber OH HAI
*pleased*
@Rookie I swear to god I thought you were Tavi for a while. Then it became rather apparent that you were probably not. That was a weird brain thing on me.
@Shalott LET'S NOT FORGET THE LOREENA MCKENNITT SONG

TheDragon

@Mingus_Thurber
I got mine from crossing old Arthurian legends (He's sometimes called The Pendragon) with my first name, Kendra. I don't think anyone's made the Arthur connection, but that's ok.

Mingus_Thurber

@PistolPackinMama Oh, I am a fan! Which is why it's so funny that there are two towns in the middle of freaking nowhere, Texas, named after two of my favorite people. Texas is weird that way.

Mingus_Thurber

@SarcasticFringehead "a ferocious fish which has a large mouth and aggressive territorial behaviour. When two fringeheads have a territorial battle, they wrestle by pressing their distended mouths against each other, as if they were kissing."

Now I want to meet all the Sarcastic Fringeheads and hang out with them.

anachronistique

@Mingus_Thurber It's the handle I use on Twitter and Tumblr; on Twitter I came up with it because the names I was using elsewhere were already taken. And... I don't know, I like old/anachronistic things but I added the -que because I am Pretentious and Girly.

TheDragon

@Mingus_Thurber New Mexico has towns named "Derry and Arrey" that appear on the same Exit sign on the highway, so if you're headed south it reads; "Derry Arrey." I was chuckle and think of my very refined grandmother who refused to use any word other than "Derriere" to describe a butt.

SarcasticFringehead

@The Kendragon See, I knew it sounded familiar, and I couldn't figure out why! It should have been obvious, given the amount of time I spent thinking about The Mists of Avalon/The Crystal Cave/The Once and Future King in middle school.

@Mingus_Thurber It gets pretty crazy, for sure.

Inkling

@SarcasticFringehead
Sorry, I know it is Sunday but I only just now got around to reading these (finals!) and couldn't not send you this, due to the wikipedia article.
http://chzbromania.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/guidos-bros-douchebags-fratboys-brofessional-bromance.gif

SarcasticFringehead

@Inkcrafter Pretty much exactly like that, yeah.

LeafySeaDragon

@Where Pies Go When They Die my best results come from a nice mask a couple of times a week and a gently scrub once or twice a week. the SA hurts my face. *i have sensitive skin

reebs14

So late to the party, but I had to share. I called my mom this morning to see if she still had my giant tote of My Little Ponies for Derby Day purposes and she said, “Oh, of course, I would NEVER get rid of those, they’re like collector’s items.” So....desecrating Sparkle and Buttercup with gobs of hot glue and affixing them to a giant hat is totally acceptable, right? Unrelated to the Derby or Cinco de Mayo (best weekend ever) - there happens to be a huge annual parade tomorrow (I marched in it every year during high school in the band, uggggh) which will pass a mere block from my front porch. I’ma tailgate the SHIT out of this parade.

PistolPackinMama

@reebs14 Hell yes bedazzling the hell out of a hat with MLPs is acceptable. DO IT. THEN SHARE PICTURES.

Spinach Party

@reebs14 Omg, yes please share photos, this sounds fantastic.

mabellegueule

@reebs14 OMG are you in Portland Maine?

reebs14

@mabellegueule Nope, St. Joe, Michigan. It's the Blossomtime parade. And CURSES, my mother was wrong - I couldn't find the ponies in her basement. Dammit, Franny. I did, however, find a hilarious assortment of Barbies from my childhood, including one "Hip-Hop Barbie" with her own tiny working boombox.

eiffeldesigns

Very late. But oh well. This has been the weirdest week in recent memory.
Monday- spent all day looking forward to seeing gentleman caller only to have him come over and break up with me.
Tuesday- Cry-cry all day until I get home and get notice of my divorce hearing! Yeah!
Wednesday- Still upset about gentleman caller. But decide to get over myself and find an okcupid date.
Thursday- okcupid date- which went well. And I totally put out on the first date. Which made me miss gentleman caller because he was waaaay better than okcupid date.
Friday- making tamales to keep myself busy instead of thinking about gentleman caller. who is a chef. so this did not go well. I just wanted to send him pictures of my tamale masterpieces.

Sigh. I miss gentleman caller. And he really wants to maintain a friendship. Not sure I can do that. I'm not sure I can just like him as a friend. Quite honestly, I like his penis entirely too much. TMI?

Spinach Party

@Kirs Well, I definitely hear you on the crying all day Tuesday. If you cant deal with being just friends, cutting of contact is supposedly the healthiest thing? (This is coming from the girl who has slept with her iPhone all week in order to chat with her now ex-bf whenever he was online...)

So... don't take anything I say seriously

billie_crusoe

@Kirs UGH, so sorry! If you don't think you can do being friends, don't do being friends! I tried it with my ex-GF for over a year, and it was shit. She ended the friendship, but I was going to if she didn't. Which isn't to say it can never work, but if you don't want to or think you can, don't!

mabellegueule

@Kirs I think it would hurt too much to stay friends with him. I had a guy I was briefly involved with totally string me along and every interaction I was thinking "ooh maybe?" and it is NOT worth it. If you guys reconnect down the line when you have found, er, a new penis you like that's different.

JadedStone

@Kirs Keep on meeting new penis' until you find one even more awesome. Then you'll be all like "pfft, that dude's penis is NOTHING compared to this penis" and it'll be good.

eiffeldesigns

@Jade This is my new plan. DONE.

I had fully planned on my motto for 2012 to be "Sluttin' it up in 2012." I will now live up to that motto. And it will be awesome.

Spinach Party

I am also super late to this party, but I just said good-bye to by boyfriend of 2.5 years this week. He moved across the country and we are no longer together. I cried my eyes our for the first handful of days and missed all my out of state girlfriends terribly.

But I have now turned a corner, and am super loving my 2.5 mile commute (down from 45 miles) and I just had my first Happy Hour drink after work. It's nice not bursting into tears every hour, and I wanted to thank The Hairpin for helping me through this week, even though I was just super lurk-y.

And now I feel like I can go see the Avengers and not be super sad because I was originally supposed to see it with my bf... progress!

Alexa Villaume@facebook

Hello! I'm a semi lurker but I wanted to say hi to everybody in the open thread. I live in Hawaii so it's hard to keep up with commenting since I'm always late to the thread. But my last day of my internship was Monday. I've been working at this place for eight months and now I'm just hanging out, unemployed in Hawaii until I go back to the east coast at the end of the month.

frenz.lo

@Alexa Villaume@facebook The open thread is cruelly fleeting. Sometimes, I wish I were unemployed and hanging out in Hawaii.

billie_crusoe

@Alexa Villaume@facebook When I'm late, I start at the bottom and work my way up. I figure some of the late posters are also around?

Megasus

@che Some of us check it on the weekends! Friday Open Thread has no real expiry date!

EvilAuntiePeril

@Megano! Friday Open Thread is a state of mind? I like its murky underbelly in the form of the late-night (for me) Sunday Friday Open Thread

@Alexa Villaume@facebook timezone sympathy.

AniaGosia

Late to posting too (note to self: maybe post first and then read everything?), but I went on the most splendid bike rides at dusk this week. On Wednesday the frogs were singing, the Russian Olive smelled divine, the moon was out and deer ran along with me! Yesterday there was a storm in the distance and I watched the lightening the whole way! Bike riding at dusk in the country is one of life's greatest pleasures!

AniaGosia

@ReginalTSquirge@twitter Oh my goodness, never! *clutches pearls* there will be movies again in the future, I am sure!

Two-Headed Girl

Staying in on a perfectly good Friday night = cue questions from my mother about whether I fought with my boyfriend (the answer is always no), my friends (the answer is always no), anyone at all (the answer is no!), followed by a, "well, you must have pissed somebody off to be home on a Friday" and a sigh. Apparently it's weird when I have no plans.

Leave me aloooooone. I'm sick, I just want to watch my shows and drink tea in peace.

EpWs

@Two-Headed Girl IT IS TOTALLY OKAY TO DO NOTHING ON A FRIDAY NIGHT

For any reason at all! Seriously. Do you want me to talk with your mother? Because I will. (I hope you feel better soon!)

Two-Headed Girl

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I feel better already, thanks! And don't be silly, my mother wouldn't listen. Why do that when you can believe the worst? It's much more fun to believe your social butterfly of a daughter has suddenly become a SOCIAL PARIAH who will never go out again!

But no, staying in is AWESOME and I should really do it more. Television! Internet! Liquor! No pants! No bar bathrooms! The pros of this situation really do outweigh the cons on every level.

Cat named Virtute

@Two-Headed Girl Ugh, man, Friday night wine/tv/bed dates with myself were what got me through the shittier parts of grad school. Going out is awesome, but it's a lot of energy sometimes. But nothing bad can happen to you when you're chewing your way through a baguette and mainlining Buffy.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

I was going to share any kind of gossipy fun I could scrounge up, but instead all I want to say is a giant fuck you to cancer.
It took MCA today. It took my friend's mom yesterday. This isn't fair.

EpWs

@Rookie FUCK cancer. I'm so very sorry for your loss, that is awful.

billie_crusoe

@Rookie Ugh, I'm sorry :( Cancer sucks.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@che @The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
Thank you. Obviously I'm sadder for her son and her husband, but it just sucks because I'm going to miss her. She was so sweet and so supportive of everyone.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Rookie And I just found out my old high school vice-principal died of cancer last week, too. Ugh.

frenz.lo

Open thread! I waited for you all day at work, where I check internet via my phone, while hunched in a back room over color bowls or a dryer. Then, at open thread o'clock, I was too busy. At off-peak open thread o'clock, I was doing hair for a gradeschool production of Annie at a ridiculously expensive local private school. (The hard-knock life was something of an abstract concept for these kids, but they were very polite.)

Anyway, open thread, it's been a hell of a week.

-Foster kittens! KITTENS! in my house! The spare bedroom is now the kitten room! We are fostering a nursing mother cat and her two now almost-4-week-old kittens. They are the best.

-I wiped out on my bike this week in a fairly comical way that did not leave me seriously injured, but I would rather not have scraped so much skin off my foot.

-Effin' new state appeals court opinion that says pit bulls and mixed breed dogs that might conceivably be part pit bull are "inherently dangerous" and adds unprecedented new liability for landlords that rent to tenants with these dogs in my state! It is breaking my heart.

-Found out that a client is seriously ill, but her Alzheimer's doesn't allow her to remember why she is feeling pain at a given moment.

-Let's revisit this one: Kittens! Baby kittens in my house! Peeping little meows! Kittens!

laurel

@frenz.lo May I call your attention to PinPets?

eiffeldesigns

@frenz.lo Grrrrrr. BSL makes me angry, angry. As a proud owner of a beautiful pit bull I just do not get the hate.

But kittens! Yea!

billie_crusoe

Also late. I had a migraine for 24 hours, and, ugh, I hate throwing up . AND NOW I CAN'T SLEEP.

EpWs

@che God, FUCK migraines. They are the worst.

Living My Best Life Far Away from the Hairpin!

@che Augh, a migraine for 24 hours? Noooo, that sucks!

billie_crusoe

I KNOW. I wanted to die. I don't have health insurance and I'm out of the good stuff (Imitrex injections are SO EXPENSIVE). Thankfully I get insurance again August 1st, but I have so much more sympathy now for people who are uninsured for a long time.

whimsy

Hi Pinners!
I lurk occasionally and just wanted to say I finished Friday Night Lights!

SPOILER:
Tim Riggins and Lyla forever!!
No, really that is all. I was also really worried for a while that Coach T would make the wrong decision and not go to Philly and they would get some horrible, horrible divorce. So thank goodness for that!

franceschances

@whimsy I basically spent all of that last season yelling at my computer (yay Netflix) "IT IS HER TURN TO FOLLOW HER DREAMS DO THE RIGHT THING AND KEEP BEING THE PERFECT MAN, YOU ASSHOLE"

redheaded&crazy

Hey Friday! totally checking in late which means clearly my post will be what people see first thing Saturday morning SO I will use this opportunity to pimp the hairpin fashion club (thing) google groups which is used for many purposes including gossip, gossip, and more gossip

redheaded&crazy

@redheaded&crazie as usual my week has been boring and eventless. although i would recommend that people should go see bring it on the musical for having awesome choreography, racial sensitivity (unlike some people we know), body positivity, trans acceptance, and just generally being way greater than the movie

Emma Peel

Probably too late for this (and maybe more of a Hairpin Fashion Club question?) but one of the great things about my aforementioned Probable New Place to Live is that I can walk to work! Hooray!

However, it is a bit of a hike (just under a mile each way) and I already tend to wear the hell out of/destroy my shoes pretty quickly without even trying. Thinking of buying a pair of walking-to-work shoes for the summer to mitigate damage/destruction. The question is: what? TOMS? Reefs? I just want something cheap and comfy and easy that will hopefully extend the life cycle of my pretty shoes a bit longer by not putting those 10 miles/week on them.

Relevant fact: I live in DC, where it is hot all the time in the summer, and my feet get pretty gross/sweaty as it is, so I think I'll save the Dansko clogs and the like for my winter commuting shoes.

Recommendations? Not totally ugly is also a plus but not a requirement.

i make lists

@Emma Peel

I usually walk about a mile and a half to work in these flats but I've also been accused of being more interested in looks than comfort.

Megasus

@Emma Peel Honestly? I would say spend some money on them. They last longer, and are better for your feet. My absolute favourite walking flats used to be Cole Haan Nike Airs, and they were beautiful and so comfortable. Pricey, but they last a long time, and you can take them back to the store and you can have them like, all fixed up for $80. A slightly cheaper option is Clarks. But spend money on your shoes! Your feet do so much for you, treat them right!

billie_crusoe

@Emma Peel I have some cute Keen mary janes that I bought a couple of years ago, and they were my go-to walk-around-town shoes when I lived in a walkable town. I am hard on shoes, and I have low arches / most shoes hurt my feet, and I could walk MILES a day in these AND they've lasted for a long time. (I bought 3 pairs in 2009, and I haven't even worn one pair yet.) And they're cool and not-ugly. I don't think they make my model anymore, but I like all the Keens I've bought. (I'm not very fashion-conscious, so I don't know if they're actually not-ugly, but they're better looking than running shoes and also comfortable.)

TheDragon

Someone needs to take my phone away from me when I'm drunk. I texted Marine "I wish you liked me as much as I like you." eeeeaaalllauuuggghhhhh.
BUT I managed to carry on flirty banter with a cute guy in my Structure and Function of Plants class, so I guess it evens out.

TheDragon

@The Kendragon
...and someone's DEFINITELY drunk. I know because I am now thinking about jokes/pick up lines about his structure and function. But I spelled definitely correctly. On the first try. That NEVER happens. (It's a problem word for me)

redheaded&crazy

@The Kendragon oh god this: "i wish you liked me as much as i like you" is the story of my life. why can't my heart just tone it down a notch?!

it sounds like your drunk text worked out well for you though ... which is good? or maybe bad? THIS MARINE YO.

TheDragon

@redheaded&crazie
I KNOW! I was fall fast, and I always fall HARD. Then the dude looks down at me from his not fallen position and shouts that he'd love to be friends. Still no word from Marine. I think I scared him.

But plants classmate is kind of cute. (I wish he was a smidge taller. But, I'm not gonna complain! Cute guys may always flirt with me, regardless of height.)

Megasus

@The Kendragon I always used to, and then I just remind myself "FINITE FINITE!" every time I have to spell it.

redheaded&crazy

@The Kendragon ohh i thought he responded to you also drunk and spelled things wrong so you were coming up with responses about ...

never mind. slow start this morning

eiffeldesigns

@The Kendragon Someone needs to make an app where you set it up so you cannot text certain people after a certain time of day (post cocktail o'clock) without doing complicated math problems or some other thing you'd never be able to do while drunkety drunk.

TheDragon

@Kirs
This is such an amazing idea. Why are we not ON this already?
I would use the hell out of that app.

TheDragon

@Megano!
For a moment there I thought you were going to give me tips on how to dial my heart down a notch and I was WICKED excited. But FINITE is a good idea, too

@redheaded&crazie
It happens to the best of us

Megasus

@The Kendragon Haha, can't help you there, think you have to be a robot to do that. Because there would literally be a dial.
Also that app idea is amazing and would totally work. But it would also have to be impossible to delete while you're drunk too.

TheDragon

@Megano!
Yes. It is WAY to easy to unblock someone on fb while drunk.

TheDragon

@The Kendragon So... Structure and Funct'n of Plants lab partner kissed me today...It was nice. No blinding passion or anything, but nice.

EpWs

@The Kendragon Flirtation: successful! What do you do next?

TheDragon

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
Study my butt off all finals week and find out where I'll be living for the summer! No sense in continuing to flirt if I'm gonna be in Wyoming out of cell/internet service all summer.

Danzig!

On the plus side: Term paper knocked out, Sleep No More seen, witnessed jungle orgy and had one-on-one with the Lady in Red.

Bad: My mediafire account just got locked and with it, the 2+ years of music backup I had there.

i make lists

Please excuse the extremely trivial nature of this question, but: What is the general consensus about being facebook friends with exes? My ex (from five years ago!) wants to be my friend on facebook, but I think it's kind of weird? I haven't spoken to him since we broke up, and mostly it would be weird because my current boyfriend (of four and a half years) knew/hated him.

Thoughts?

redheaded&crazy

@i make lists do you want to be friends with him? if not, i'd say that's totally reasonable and you can use your current bf as an excuse (i mean in your head i don't think you have to give any excuse especially since you haven't talked to him!)

JadedStone

@i make lists As strong bad said: DELETED

Or, I guess, REJECT.

Mingus_Thurber

@Where Pies Go When They Die I have, but my skin is a delicate fleur, so I can't use 'em often. The ones I've used are over-the-counter sorts, and they still overdry my face.

I've had good results with Mychelle Dermaceuticals Fruit Fiesta Peel, actually. It's not salicylic, it's a glycolic fruit acid peel, and it's kinda hippie-dippy (raspberry seeds in the stuff!), but it's not drying at all and digs all the crap out of my pores without hurting. It also dries up stubborn zits in the five minutes I have it on my mug.

Nutmeg

I have work from 5-close (last night I got out at one, UGGGGHHH) tonight at the JP Licks in Davis Sq, come visit meeeeee (or don't we might be super busy? I don't even know anymore; sometimes when we have a 30-minute line out the door I want to yell, "DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO???")

Craftastrophies

Oof this week has been ROUGH at work. So busy, and we have a contractor in helping out who I really hate but I'm trying to be fair, even though he wears too much cologne and it gives me sinus pain and headaches (I am too chicken to say anything like a grown up). Anyway, he just keeps making the same stupid mistakes, and I spent half the week either sitting with him showing how not to be an idiot, or fixing his mistakes. And the other half dealing with the mess left by someone who's gone on maternity leave. No time on my own actual work. I am stopping thinking about this because it's making me feel a bit panicky and it's the weekend, so.

On the plus side, my friend's baby is fucking adorable and starting to interact with the world and it's amazing to watch. Also, my sister will be coming home from ireland for a couple weeks in June for my grandma's 90th Birthday and I can't wait to see her! She's been gone two years and I miss her. We are going to get drunk and bitch about our mother and catch up on gossip.

EvilAuntiePeril

@Craftastrophies Have you told your boss? Also write down examples if you tell him how to do stuff more than once, or fix his mistakes. If they're paying a contractor for work they need him to get serious and learn fast. Depends on your boss, but if she/he does need to give him a kick, specific information is extremely helpful both to explain the problem and set expectations.

Yay for cute babies and bitching with sympathetic family :)

Xanthophyllippa

@Craftastrophies Definitely write down examples - keep a record of how many times you have to explain things to this guy. This is in part so you can go to your boss if you need to, and in part so (I am a very suspicious person by nature) you'll have a record if for some reason Stinky McStinkerson tries to complain that you're not helpful.

Also, maybe try fake-sneezing on this guy the next time he comes in to talk to you? I have a co-worker who I think swims in Axe before he comes to the office, and honest to god, he left a cloud of it behind one day after he walked in, sat down, and spent 15 minutes talking at me (uninvited).

Craftastrophies

@Xanthophyllippa I actually had a legit coughing fit the last time I had to help him. Whoops.

This last Monday we had a big meeting at my request and went over the stuff that everyone should know - this was handy because another person is going to start learning this stuff as well, but it also was aimed at trying to get him to learn it. And ALSO, in my head, making my boss deal with the fact that he's dim. She's on semi-maternity leave, which is partly why we need him - because I'm doing a lot of her work, so he needs to do some of mine. But it's not saving us as much time as it should. She also asked me if I thought he was useful - I think I overcompensated because I really dislike him for no reason (as well as the reasons) but basically I said, for doing what he is now, he is a bit useful. But when that runs out (soon, please, soon!) we won't be able to teach him anything more complex.

The trouble is, the first month or so I just figured he was working out our admitedly complex and tricky system. But the DAY after this meeting, he made a couple of the same mistakes. It's not even that he made the mistakes, it's that he doesn't seem to understand that when we tell him not to do something, that means don't do it! I have made a note and will be telling my boss. Sigh.

Craftastrophies

Also, can we talk about SAD? I know I've had conversations on here with people, but I can't track them down. It's well into autumn here and the other day I started to get that 'everything is too hard, all I want to do is go lie down forever' feeling. I bought St John's Wort based on my memory of convos here, and that feeling went away (AMAZING I was so happy), but I still have tired and sad for no reason. What do you guys recommend/experience? More Wort? Vitamin D? I've fallen off the exercise bandwagon this week, need to get back on that, that will definitely help.

Megasus

@Craftastrophies Vitamin D does help quite a bit. I'm still super tired (there was no sun out for like three days this week and I could not believe the effect it had on my energy levels), but Vitamin D does keep from spending the entire month of February crying every day.

Nutmeg

@Craftastrophies I just have Regular Ole Depression and not SAD but my depression does get much worse in the fall/winter; vitamin D, getting sunlight, staying active (for me it was just walking to public transport, I don't really exercise), and keeping in touch with people. I know that I get 100x worse no matter what I'm doing if I'm isolating as well.

JadedStone

@Craftastrophies I take this stuff called "daily joy" and it works fabulously, though it's probably the vitamin D. STILL, it's really good.

frannypants

@Craftastrophies I got one of these: http://tiny.cc/1ksudw at the beginning of last fall and I think it actually helped a lot. I just sat in front of it for twenty minutes or so while I ate my breakfast and drank coffee in the morning and I really did feel less exhausted all the time. For me I think the whole SAD cycle always started with just being So Tired All The Time No Matter How Much I Slept, so just being able to regulate my energy level a little helped me stay a little more active and less withdrawn. It didn't totally fix all my problems or anything but this was the most successful winter I've had in YEARS.

redheaded&crazy

ughhhhhh where is esther one of my closest guy friends that is actually my friend first and not my ex's got into a relationship recently and disappeared off the map and it's SO. FUCKING. HURTFUL. and yesterday I saw him for the first time in a long time and he was all "yeah I have to find younger friends who actually like going out" AND WHAT THE FUCK.

ugh. I'm hemhorraging (Sp???) friends left and right these days.

redheaded&crazy

@redheaded&crazie (esther was talking about this one time in league of ordinary ladies)

TheDragon

@redheaded&crazie
I am hemorrhaging friends these days, too.
Let's go be friends with out turned-up-to-level-TEN hearts.

Megasus

@redheaded&crazie WHAT THE HELL. Good riddance!

Cat named Virtute

@redheaded&crazie I HATE THIS. I have had SO many close friendships with people that I love and care about just DRY UP when the other person gets a new significant other. It makes me feel so shitty and unloved and I'm so sorry your friend is doing that to you. If it's more than a couple of months into the relationship and they're past (or should be) the most intense honeymooning, I think you have every right to tell your friend you're miffed.

redheaded&crazy

@Marika Pea@twitter the worst part is that before he got in this relationship we had an agreement that we would go out and make new friends together because he was disappointed by HIS friends disappearing into relationships

is it like a vicious cycle where people who were single and have been ditched are like "YEAH finally I'm in a relationship it's MY turn now!" cuz SERIOUSLY!? COME ON.

Xanthophyllippa

@redheaded&crazie What, because you are an ancient hermit who lives in a cave? Bite me, asshole-guy-friend-of-RH&C.

Cat named Virtute

@redheaded&crazie Ughhhh, slow smouldering firrrrrrrrrre to all that (hi, it's still me! I changed my user name because I felt awkward about using an identifiable name in the sex diary post!).

redheaded&crazy

@Cat named Virtute ooookay so happy update, he called and gave me a really really good apology(is he reading this right now? ahh the internet)/statement of appreciation of my friendship and said he was being an asshole and felt really bad

:')

Megasus

@redheaded&crazie OMG it's like The Secret!

EpWs

@redheaded&crazie THE HAIRPIN. IT WORKS. He could obvs feel our rage and was worrying about being spontaneously combusted.

billie_crusoe

@redheaded&crazie This is the worst! I keep hoping eventually I will get old enough, and my friends will eventually be partnered long enough, that they'll stop being obsessed with their SOs and be able to have friends again. I'm mid/late-twenties and it hasn't happened yet, but we're still young and immature in love, right? This will eventually get better? (I was guilty when I was in a relationship, so I get it, but I feel like it was also not good for the romantic relationship to be SO exclusive, either, so I swear it's not happening again.)

I'm glad your friend apologized!!!

Cat Jail

Ugh, I'm sorry about this being the topic of my first comment but I just needed somewhere to vent the rage.

Just found out that the guy I broke up with a year ago, tried to remain friends with, kept sleeping with, accepted terrible, shitty behaviour from because I had nobody else to turn to for support through all the other shit I was dealing with, has in fact done what I suspected him of doing, and lied to me about getting together with somebody else. I'm so angry, but feeling vindicated in a kind of hollow way that the signs I read into his more recent behaviours were 100% correct. At least I know I can trust my instincts, if not him.

I keep thinking about what he did and being overwhelmed by what a jackass he is. At least there hasn't been any contact for a while, so I have the peace of mind of not being actively involved with his bullshit, nor will I ever be again. Just...ugh.

Megasus

@Cat Jail Feel ya. Just found out last weekend (on my birthday of all days) that my suspicions about the ex having a backup and that's why he finally decided to move out.

EpWs

@Cat Jail Ooof, I am so sorry. Vent away!

(Also YOU HAVE THE BEST USER NAME EVER)

redheaded&crazy

@Marika Pea@twitter the worst part is that before he got in this relationship we had an agreement that we would go out and make new friends together because he was disappointed by HIS friends disappearing into relationships

is it like a vicious cycle where people who were single and have been ditched are like "YEAH finally I'm in a relationship it's MY turn now!" cuz SERIOUSLY!? COME ON.

EpWs

DERBY THREAD. Put your picks down now! Earn Hairpin bragging rights!

I've got #3, Take Charge Indy, because I'll bet on whoever Calvin Borel is riding.

TheDragon

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
I've ridden for Aidan O'Brien's cousin twice, So I'm gonna go Daddy Long Legs

EpWs

@The Kendragon Welp. No one should ask us anything.

TheDragon

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
We couldn't have done worse if we'd TRIED.

Megasus

@The Kendragon Succcck it, Canadian owned horse won!!! Also did you hear about how they found a dead body in one of the barns? If that is not an Agatha Christie-type murder already, IT SHOULD BE.

kaaaaaaatie-did

LAST weekend I was recovering from oral surgery! Hairpin you've infiltrated my braaaaiin

camanda

I just got home from work (wasn't terrible, they put me in my own department), and I'm now settled in on my couch in my pajamas with a bottle of Coke, a bag of Chips Ahoy, and a movie.

The movie is Toy Story.

On VHS.

Have a good Saturday night, Hairpin! Unless you already had your Saturday night, then I hope it was smashing.

Cat Jail

So for some reason the 'Pin isn't letting me respond in the thread, sorry about this.

@Megano! What a spineless creep, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Happy belated birthday, I hope it was otherwise as awesome as you deserved.

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Thank you, even as a lurker, this site has been a massive comfort to me. It feels good to be in a place where people are so supportive of each other, and to have it consistently affirmed that you can and should expect fair and kind treatment from others. (Thank you! It made me laugh so much. I think it would also make an awesome name for a band?)

EpWs

@Cat Jail This is a great place! And YES, it would totally make a great band name.

Replying has been weird in the Open Thread this week, we don't usually have these issues. (We have other issues.) (We are all insane.)

fuck fuck fuck

started watching downton abbey last night at 11. i am now on episode 6.

A Dolly

HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT ME!!??? i had 3 wisdom teeth removed earlier this week. I watched season 3 and 4 of Mad Men and finished reading Mercury Rises. my mouth still feels weird but i'm down to only one pain killer for bedtime now.

TheDragon

I can't find my toothbrush, I dropped my phone on my face, I'm living off of taco bell and coffee, and my poor dog is being neglected.
Happy finals week!

1963248500@twitter

steam canners are way easier, less messy, and better than the water bath. Amazon has them And an immersion blender is lazier than crushing with a fork Also skim the foam is a good idea I just forgot and am kicking myself.dog fence wire

1963248500@twitter

Canadian owned horse won!!! Also did you hear about how they found a dead body in one of the barns? If that is not an Agatha Christie-type murder already, IT SHOULD BE. mountain house

Shahzaib Soomrow@facebook

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