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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

241

The Return of Ghost

Previously: Text Messages From a Ghost.

April 22

hello
Hi, who’s this?
ill give you a hint
i brought you some candy babies
Ghost?
ghost!
Ghost? Ghost!
ghost!!
i really did bring you candy babies though
they’re on the counter
not to brag or anything but i poltergeisted them there all by myself
I thought you were gone, I thought I had broken you or sent you somewhere I couldn’t see or hear
Where have you been?
hoo boy well
all over really
i spent some time in an egg
i had to wait to get hatched out of that so that was probably a hundred years or so
It hasn’t been that long, Ghost
oh no it wasn’t in your time
There’s a lot I do not know about ghosts, I think
enjoy the candy babies!!
What even are candy babies?

April 24

you look different now
I got old, Ghost!
Well. Older.
how long has it been for you
since i left i mean
im not too good at marking time
It’s been a long time
im glad youve had a lot of time
what have i missed?
A very long time, actually
Is julia still here
what happened with julia
A lot happened with Julia, Ghost
!!!!
you know that was because of me, you know
I remember!
i just mean youre welcome
I remember
good im glad you remembered
so long as i get credit
We had kids. Great kids!
Two of them
oh wow
hooray
I still can’t believe you’re back
it took me ages to find you again
I’m so sorry about that
I did everything to fix that phone
i found you again though
You did!
i sure did
Did you get to meet Dolly?
oh boy did i ever
what a lady she is
Can ghosts date other ghosts??
she is married you know
Does that still count?
it does to this ghost

April 25

you have a cat
you didnt tell me there would be a cat
Yeah, we got him when the kids were young
Should I have told you??
no its fine
its fine
I’m sorry – I should have told you
it sleeps right
i mean
it will go to sleep eventually
Yeah, the cat sleeps a lot
ok good
good
that’s good
where would you guess it is right now
if you had to guess
I really don’t know
Are you sure you’re okay?
yep yep yep
Because you sound nervous
not me
im fine
im just going to go visit the tree again for a little bit i think

May 3

do you still have your birthday present
Yes!
Of course
ok good
I’d never get rid of that
The kids love it
they used it all the time when they were still at home
thats good
I missed you, you know, old friend
ok good
i missed you too
especially when i was in that egg
I really wish you’d explain that egg story
:)

May 7

Do you want to come to the beach with us?
the beach?
its pretty cold out you know
I know but the kids are in town
and they wanted to go to the beach
youre not going to drop me or anything
Definitely not
youre sure
I’m old and responsible now, Ghost!
I won’t drop you, I promise
well put me in a mitten or something okay
it’s really cold out
So you’ll come?
well i dont want to stay here alone with the cat
I think he likes you
dont be ridiculous
Do all cats and ghosts not get along? Or is there something about this cat?
i have my reasons
All right
You warm enough in there?
good reasons
theyre very good reasons

May 23

how did it go?
It was okay I suppose
I just had a long talk with Julia
about our options
This is so fast, it’s just so fast
when will you hear the results
Tuesday

June 2

whats the good word
not good, Ghost
oh
oh no
I know I’m not supposed to ask
i cant
I know
I know you can’t but I just had to ask
i would if i could you know
I just thought maybe there was something you could do
Someone you could talk to
about getting more time
there isnt anybody to ask
there really isnt
im sorry
I know, I know
I figured
I know you’d help if you could
ill be here though
itll be just like the last time
The last time?
One of these days you are going to have to answer at least one of my questions, you know
i know
i will i promise
Is this why you came back?
Did you know this was happening?
yes
Okay. Okay.
I’m glad you could be here, then
somebody will look after julia
shell be okay
youll get to meet eleanor roosevelt
shes a good friend
I remember

September 17

hello there
Ghost!
Ghost, are you here?
im here
dont tell anyone but i snuck inside the monitor
Good
yep yep
Thanks for everything, Ghost
okay
theres room in my phone if you want
or i saved you one for your own
i think youre going to like it here
Stay a minute, will you?
okay
okay im here
see you in a minute okay
:)

 

 

Mallory Ortberg is a writer in the Bay Area. Her work has also appeared on Slacktory and Ecosalon.

Photo by JuneJ, via Shutterstock



241 Comments / Post A Comment

Gertrude

GHOST I MISSED YOU

Gertrude

@Gertrude aaaaaand now I'm ugly-crying at my desk.

Bon Vivant

I skipped down before reading to exult in the return of the GHOST!!! YAY!
(ED) oh god oh GOD. :(

dale

I...was not expecting this one to be sadder than the last one.
:-( *sniff*

thebestjasmine

@dale I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT SHE TOLD ME BEFORE THIS WENT UP THAT THIS ONE WAS NOT GOING TO BE AS SAD AS THE LAST ONE. LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE.

dale

@thebestjasmine So, is someone in Hollywood going to give melis a job writing screenplays that are genuinely emotional and not just cheap manipulation?

itmakesmewonder

@dale To veer off topic a little, did you see the recent hullabaloo at NYT over adults reading YA novels? One of the contributors made the point that YA authors are innovating more readily and successfully than authors for adults, and this reminds me of it. It takes only a handful of really smart words to evoke a powerful feeling, and it takes far more restraint not to transform the feeling into a Rococo nightmare by overwriting it.

dale

@itmakesmewonder No, I did not. Is there much wringing of hands and clutching of literary pearls? If so I probably shouldn't read it because my eyes might roll out of my head. ;-)
And yes to smart words used efficiently. Margaret Atwood does this for me a lot of the time - a very tiny sentence with a sucker punch.

Craftastrophies

@itmakesmewonder I have just started reading the Hunger Games, literally this morning. I've already cried twice (dead father, sister needing protecting, mother checked out = KRYPTONITE). I was actually putting off starting it because I was sort of... cringing away from all the emotions I knew I would have? But then I realised, it's a YA book, I will feel the emotions and bad things will happen, but I won't feel complicit or manipulated.

Increasingly, I want books where even the complicated things are simple. That sounded like a down on YA, I didn't mean it that way. I mean... I want to be able to invest in the character, and be on their side, and have genuine emotions about the things that happen to them, even when those things and those emotions are complicated. I want to be able to trust the author. I find that most consistently in YA.

rocknrollunicorn

@dale Yes to Margaret Atwood on that! Her poetry is some of the only poetry I genuinely like and I think that is a reflection of this. I also find this in JD Salinger's writing, which has the added benefit of being kind of dryly funny even when he's writing about terrible things like suicide in the family.

itmakesmewonder

@Craftastrophies YES! I am sick as ffffff of cynicism and jadedness, and YA novels show how it's admirable to be awkward and uncertain yet still dive into something with your whole heart.

@dale No, the one guy who wrote that he thinks adults should read books for adults is getting blistered by the Greek chorus of NYT commenters. I'm not sure whether that's fair or not, but you know. Comments sections (besides here), whatever.

Recently I read the NYT feature on Peter Dinklage where they ask him why he hasn't read Game of Thrones and he says something like, No offense, guys, I haven't read all of Tolstoy yet either. And I like that, because it's every person's prerogative to read whenever, whatever, and in whatever order.

p.s. I really like this thread

Jolie Kerr

I love that Ghost uses the three exclamation points reply convention! (Also: Ghooooost!!!!!)

cuminafterall

Great, now I'm a big sobbing tearfactory and I have to eat lunch and it's going to be so salty because the tears, they're dripping down my face onto my lips.

Thanks.

anachronistique

I went :DDDD because GHOST!

And then I read and now I'm all teary-eyed and sniffly at my desk. Oh, narrator. Oh, Ghost. Oh, my heart. MELIS.

candybeans

@anachronistique

MELLLIIIIIIISSSSSS

GHOOOOOOOOOSSSTTTTT

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Oh, Ghost. This was sad and lovely.

special_boots

I think the shortage of punctuation is what makes it so much like Louis vs. Rick. (Except one million times sadder.)

ThatWench

@special_boots It's not Louis vs. Rick, but I had a friend post this to FB in the past couple of days: http://textsfromdog.tumblr.com/

Dancercise

I hope Ghost and Person have lots of adventures with Eleanor Roosevelt.

melis

"hop in the droid, boys!!! time's a-wastin!"

MoxyCrimeFighter

@melis Wait, is Person a man? I sort of thought Person was a lady and Ghost was a male-ish figure.

melis

@MoxyCrimeFighter they're both boys, in my brain at least.

HeyThatsMyBike

@Dancercise AND DOLLY!

sarah girl

@melis Interesting! I read them both as female...

iceberg

@Sarah H. I read Ghost as maleish and Person as melish.

MoxyCrimeFighter

@melis Ohhhh! I thought Person and Julia were an adorable lesbian couple.

HeyThatsMyBike

@MoxyCrimeFighter Me too! And that ghost was sort of genderless.

melis

I mean I could be wrong!!!! I own neither Person nor Ghost; sort them wherever on the gender kaleidoscope brings you the most joy.

Craftastrophies

@HeyThatsMyBike Yes, me too! But also, it was sort of irrelevant in my head. I think I mostly read Person as female because of Between the Texts?

Xanthophyllippa

@MoxyCrimeFighter @HeyThatsMyBike Me three!

ImASadGiraffe

I audibly said "Yes!" when I saw this at the top of the 'Pin.

And now I'm trying to hold back tears at my desk.

JessicaLovejoy

Does Ghost have a tumblr? Ghost totally writes in a tumblresque fashion.

Beaker

Every text I receive today will be disappointing because it won't be from Ghost. Ghooooost! You break my heart.

realtalk

@Beaker I KNOW, RIGHT? ghoooooooooost

Heathaa

This just made me cry. Ghost<3

thelibrarianne

So: I cried. In Starbucks. Oh, Ghost.

packedsuitcase

Add me to the list of people who were super excited and now all kinds of heartbroken. I feel like somebody stomped on my heart (in the best kind of literary way). Ghost!

sevanetta

@packedsuitcase I knoooooowwww. Ghoooooooost. Personnnnnnnnnnnnn. That's all I can say wahhhhhhhhhh. Melis!

Oh, squiggles

Ghost is back? Yay! Now to read it!

Post read: Oh wow. That was good.

Oh, squiggles

And that little :) at the end? That's gonna stick with me.

frigwiggin

Ugh, don't do this to me, my mom has cancer and I just can't right now.

wee_ramekin

@frigwiggin I'm so sorry figgie. :-(

fondue with cheddar

@frigwiggin I'm so sorry. Love and best wishes to her and to you and everyone who loves her.

EpWs

@frigwiggin *hugs*

anachronistique

@frigwiggin Good luck. Sending love and strength.

frigwiggin

Thanks, guys. I'm sorry about this comment, it came out all "bluhhhh pay attention to meeeee" and that's not what I intended--the whole thing just gave me a very strong emotional reaction in conjunction with her recent diagnosis, and even though it's mild and she's going to fight through it and be okay (she WILL, she WILL), I keep envisioning worst-case scenarios. Not melis' fault, though!

PistolPackinMama

@frigwiggin <3 so sorry. :(

Slapfight

@frigwiggin So sorry to hear. Sending positive thoughts.

Spinach Party

@frigwiggin My mother does as well, and I totally understand the overwhelming worst-case scenario visions. Some days it's fine. Some days, anything sets me off, crying at my desk. Today is actually fine-ish for some reason. I am happy/sad to see Ghost again though!

EpWs

@frigwiggin She will totally be okay, and so will you! It's a tough tough time right now. We all <3 u and so does ghostie!

wee_ramekin

@frigwiggin Don't even think for a second of apologizing. We are your people, and we want to support you when things get scary. I'm sorry about your mom's diagnosis, and I'm really REALLY glad that it's a good one!

fondue with cheddar

@frigwiggin No apologies necessary! I'm glad to hear it's mild, though cancer is worrisome no matter the severity. It's awful to have those worst-case thoughts, but if you do the worrying for her she can focus on fighting and recovering. Many hugs.

frigwiggin

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher He's SO SLEEPY. Ahhhh.

@Spinach Party Oh, your mom! Even though I know it can't work any other way, I'm still sad that these things happen in our world.

Hugs to all.

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I'm so glad he got up and walked away because I couldn't stop watching! HE SNIFFED THE AIR AND THEN SCRATCHED HIS FOOT AND THEN REARRANGED HIS LEGS. IT IS RIVETING STUFF. HONESTLY.

raised amongst catalogs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher POOL. BEAR IN THE POOL NOW.

lora.bee

@frigwiggin Hugs, hugs, hugs.

Nicole Cliffe

@frigwiggin OH, God, so sorry. Hugs and internet love.

PistolPackinMama

@all I swear, reading the Bearnarrative is better than watching the actual bear. Not kidding.

fondue with cheddar

@vanillawaif BEAR IN THE POOL are the four best words I've heard all day.

OMG HE'S ROLLING AROUND AND PLAYING IN THE WATER. WITH HIS FOOD? IS THAT A FISH?! <3 U BEARIE!

raised amongst catalogs

@frigwiggin What wee_ramekin said, seriously -- and to reiterate everyone else's sentiments, we care about you and your mom and your feelings and wish you the best!

raised amongst catalogs

@PistolPackinMama @jen325 HALF IN HALF OUT

Spinach Party

@vanillawaif @The Everpresent Wordsnatcher eeeeeee! That bear rocks! I want to swim around with him!!
@frigwiggin Hugs right back at you! But I will say, my mom is so kick-ass and resilient. She was diagnosed with Stage 4, in-operable lung cancer that already spread to her brain and spine and leg bone.
That was over four years ago. I just hung out with her on Easter at our family gathering and she was laughing and chatting and handing out kites to the great-nieces and nephews to fly at the beach. She's still working full-time, and taking as many vacations with my dad as feasibly possible (Maine last week, NC next week!). She gets more stuff done in an hour than I could possibly think about doing in a single week (all my dishes are dirty in my sink, she spent her Saturday vacuuming Spring Cleaning underneath couch cushions?!). She is all-around amazing. Oh, yeah, and still battling cancer. It will never be "beaten", it can only be "managed". And the grace with which she manages it is effing awe-inspiring.
All of this is to say: moms are awesome and I have no doubt that your mom is just as awesome and resilient.

fondue with cheddar

YOU GUYS (myself included) you have to stop posting about the bear because I have to get some work done! EVERYTHING THE BEAR DOES IS AWESOME AND I CAN'T NOT WATCH.

Edit: A BIRD FLEW OVERHEAD AND HE SAW THE SHADOW AND LOOKED UP AND THEN KEPT WALKING.

Mingus_Thurber

@frigwiggin Aw, Friggie. Holler if you need anything, okay? Even if it's not nursey stuff.

EpWs

@jen325 The bear smells something delicious. WHAT DO YOU SMELL, BEAR?

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher MISBEHAVING CHILDREN

iceberg

@frigwiggin Yeah I think here, under those circumstances you are allowed to be all about you. Hugs and hope.

EpWs

@jen325 It's splayed-haunches carrot-munching time! With special leg-sniffing guest, OTHER BEAR!

Whoops bears are gone. COME BACK BEARS.

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher OTHER BEAR? You're killing me.

Verity

@jen325 MUDWRESTLING BEARS. MUDWRESTLING BEARS THAT LOOK LIKE THEY'RE SLOWDANCING/KISSING.

Edit - Fight is over, now one of them is drifting lazily about in the water on its back.

EpWs

@Verity Buoyant bouncy back-floating bears in the pool!

One has something. Is it a bone? A fish? A fish bone?

Craftastrophies

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I refreshed that page a bunch of times because the bears are sleeping SO HARD that I thought the thing had frozen. No, they are just zzzzzzzzzz

So now I'm watching the hipster kids through the glass. It's kind of meta. Some girl is making her reluctant boyfriend give her a boost so she can see more things. I can seeee yooou you manic pixie lady!

@friggie all bears aside, I am so sorry. This shit is HARD you are totally allowed to be emotional all over the place. Thinking good thoughts for all of you.

Craftastrophies

@Craftastrophies MASSIVE SLEEPY BEAR SIGH.

Craftastrophies

@Craftastrophies Bear two is awake. It is huffing and blinking and shuffling its feet and looking pointedly at bear one. Bear one is DETERMINEDLY asleep. Oh, wait - bear one just put out one paw, as if to fend of consciousness and/or bear two.

Hey, hipster kid. I like your neon green skinny jeans.

Xanthophyllippa

@jen325 YOU FOLKS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME AND MY CAREER WITH YOUR BEARS because I spent the entire day at work with one browser window showing the bear, one showing EagleCam, one showing GreatBlueHeronCam, and one showing the HawkCam that is broadcasting a hawk that is nesting a block away from my office. I NEED TO GET WORK DONE.

Craftastrophies

@Xanthophyllippa See, if you used it to start a blog, maybe you could monetise it and earn money that way!

EpWs

@Xanthophyllippa My computer at work does not play well with live streams, apparently, so I cannot have bears at work. NO BUENO, I NEED MORE BEARS.

Xanthophyllippa

@Craftastrophies I have a blog! But it's earned me exactly no dollars so far. :( Maybe because it's about something boring...

fondue with cheddar

@Xanthophyllippa WHAT IS YOUR BLOG?

Xanthophyllippa

@jen325 It's Elitist Semicolon over on Wordpress. I write about writing, though, which explains both the lack of profit and why it'll never be famous.

fondue with cheddar

@Xanthophyllippa I like it a lot for someone who isn't a writer. I also happen to be someone who judges people by their writing.

Passion Fruit

@Spinach Party Wow, your mom. YOUR MOM! She's a strong person; four years of "managing cancer" is totally physically exhausting. Plus she has enough joie de vivre to take pleasure in couch cushion vacuuming, which is more joie than I've ever had.

Passion Fruit

@frigwiggin A thousand hugs for you and your momz and your family. Hugs, hugs, hugs.

Xanthophyllippa

@jen325 Well hey then -- come over here and sit by me!

fondue with cheddar

@frigwiggin (scooches)

@serenityfound

Candy babies = jelly babies?

melis

what's weird is i don't even know what they're supposed to be

Fodforever

@@serenityfound I assumed Sugar Babies :)

BoozinSusan

@Fodforever I assumed they were babies made out of candy. That you could eat.

BoozinSusan

@BoozinSusan Life-sized. Is that weird?

Fodforever

@BoozinSusan Haha, hmm, a little weird, but anything is possible with GHOST!

I just went back and re-read the first Ghost, and he says (in regard to candy babies) "oh is that not what you call them?" So, I assumed they were a common... something.

Then again, maybe life-sized candy babies are a thing in the afterlife(?)

emilysometimes

@BoozinSusan Or Jelly Babies?

mc coolfriend

@melis I figured them to be what Ghost thought children in Halloween costumes were. Like maybe he only knew what he saw of Halloween and misinterpreted the babies with buckets of candy that come to your door all night and thought they were little candy babies for you to keep?

fondue with cheddar

@pippi bongstocking Okay, I did a GIS for candy babies, and found licorice, the decidedly un-pc chocolate, jelly, and the deeply disturbing marzipan. The site where I found the licorice ones says, "These are called Brussels Manneken and are shaped after a famous statue depicting a young Belgian prince who was found relieving himself in the palace gardens." Which sort of makes me more comfortable with it but at the same times kind of makes it worse.

sox
sox

My birthday is one of these dates! Ghost sent a text on my birthday!
But, except, that ending there, I was thinking it might be the cat and it would be sad, but this? Oof. So hard. Luckily that wasn't the one from my birthday.(seconding the tear factory over here...)

ann aunamis

@sox Nope, it was on *my* birthday. :'(

sox
sox

@ann aunamis NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Melis, couldn't you make some imaginary date so that no one would have to experience this??? Come ON.

Dancercise

@sox
Marchtember one-teenth?

lil_bobbytables

I AM UGLY CRYING. ALL OVER THE MAIL. GHOOOOST you came back!

Canard

So THAT'S where I stashed all those tears I've been grimly not using at work or in the vet's office!

julia

@Canard oh, I am sorry about your animal friend (and I'm making assumptions). It really sucks.

Canard

@julia Oh oh oh, I was cryptic in an overdramatic way, sorry! It looks as though my kitty will be fine; there just was a very scary night recently and we're not 100% out of the woods and this is the first pet I have ever owned and loved so I have NO SKIN WHATSOEVER where she is concerned. Thank you for being so sweet!

PistolPackinMama

Jeez @melis. You sure know how to yank on heartstrings. Like, every time. I should have known.

*sniffle*

Megasus

Haven't read it yet, but as soon as I saw it, I squealed "GHOSTTTTT!!!!"
MELIS WHY!!!!!???

olivebee

These are my favorite!!! So sweet, so sad, so lovely. I need a ghost best friend, asap. And, I can totally see how ghosts and cats wouldn't get along. Cats pick up on these things.

give cheese some pants

from "OMG GHOST YAY!" to "omg ghoooooost" in 2 minutes: the most beautiful, devastating roller coaster ride I've ever been on.

give cheese some pants

@give cheese some pants now I just want to skip out on work and go home but I can't quite bring myself to call in ghost.

automaticdoor

@give cheese some pants I hereby give you permission.

MoxyCrimeFighter

Stay a minute, will you?
okay
okay im here
see you in a minute okay
:)

::sniffle::

Fodforever

@MoxyCrimeFighter The smiley faaaaace!!! *SOBS*

Mingus_Thurber

@MoxyCrimeFighter "Don't tell anyone but i snuck inside the monitor"/"Good" made me lose it.

boyofdestiny

I'll start the agitation for some ghost prequels.

automaticdoor

@boyofdestiny I will help! *points to all the thumbs-up*

applestoapples

Oh, man. At first, I was like, "Why is everyone crying?" and then I re-read the end and now I'm just...yep.

Also, can I ask again what the birthday present was? Or is it like a Pulp Fiction suitcase where we're not meant to know?

steve

@applestoapples
Still a mystery, but it'll have something to do with who/what Ghost is the ghost of.

Decca

I'm a ghost and I wanted you to know,
that it's taking all my strength to make this toast.

give cheese some pants

@Decca YES TED LEO YES PERFECT

slutberry

HAIRPIN! Why do you keep wrenching my heart around this week?

Also, am I one of the only persons who doesn't cry at sad things like this? I just get very sad and very quiet.

fondue with cheddar

@sniffadee Sometimes I cry, sometimes I don't. It depends what time of the month it is. Right now it just made my eyes a bit watery, but if I'd read this last week I would have had to excuse myself to the bathroom for a cry.

Creature Cheeseman

@sniffadee I didn't cry either, even though I thought it was very sad. It makes me feel like a bad person sometimes!

bibliostitute

@sniffadee I'm with you. And then I have to be alone for quite some time before I am decent for human consumption again.

fondue with cheddar

@Creature Cheeseman You're not a bad person! Whether or not you cry has nothing to do with your feelings, it's all about how your brain is wired. Sometimes I cry very easily at things that aren't even sad, and sometimes I don't cry at things that are. Brains! They are weird!

slutberry

@bibliostitute Yes! When I finished the Hunger Games trilogy, I was wrecked for, like, a week. I had to be Very Quiet and not really talk to people and sit in the corner, Alot. But I didn't cry. (the Gentleman did, hee hee).

slutberry

@bibliostitute but I DO cry at music. Not music with lyrics, just music-music. The most heartwrenching movie won't make me cry, but a passage of Dvorak's seventh symphony can make me bawl.

anachronistique

@jen325 I used to not be a big crier at all, but in the past few years it was like an internal faucet was opened up and now I well up constantly. It's kind of inconvenient!

slutberry

@anachronistique See, I'm the opposite. I used to cry all the time. Now I only cry if something Really Bad is happening.

bibliostitute

@sniffadee yeah. or like maybe one tiny tear will trickle down my face. then again, i went and saw the whale movie with drew barrymore and sobbed through the entire second half.

fondue with cheddar

@sniffadee Me too! I cry while listening to orchestral or choral music, especially when it's live. I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

Verity

@sniffadee Definitely not the only one. (I'm not even that sad! I recognise intellectually that it is really sad, but I don't actually feel anything. What is wrong with me? Argh.)

melis

@Verity Don't feel bad! I didn't cry. Definitely this was not written with the hopes of making everyone cry, so you're well normal.

Verity

@melis Oh, thank you. (PS: you are an awesome writer and I love reading your stuff, despite the lack of tears.)

entangled

This is so bittersweet in that sad/comforting way.

Bittersweet

@arrr starr: Yep.

TheMnemosyne

oh, guys, it just got SUPER DUSTY in here all of a sudden, damn seasonal allergies

sox
sox

@TheMnemosyne I have seasonal allergies on top of this. So much snot and eye waters!

Xanthophyllippa

@TheMnemosyne Damn pollen went STRAIGHT into my eye.

ohpioneer

ghost! stop making me cry. ugh.

Slapfight

Are you trying to kill us? I love this so much!

saythatscool

Not so cute when you know that the ghost is Richard Speck.

atipofthehat

@saythatscool

You're such a Bundy of joy.

wee_ramekin

@saythatscool Man,son! You've got a lot of nerve intimating that!

(Does...that work? Or is that too tortured a pun?)

atipofthehat

@wee_ramekin

I don't think we have much to Gein from this.

SuperGogo

@saythatscool I'm surprised this punning thing isn't John the Wayne yet.

wee_ramekin

@SuperGogo Seems like we might all just need a glass of RED RUM! RED RUM!

annepersand

@saythatscool You Shawcross-ed a line with that one.

atipofthehat

@annepersand

Dahmer stop right now.

SuperGogo

@atipofthehat Man, your account is gonna get Zodiac-tivated!

atipofthehat

@SuperGogo

Wuornos 'posed to be saying these kinds of things?

EpWs

Oh, my heart.

vykromond@twitter

Whoa, this was WAAYYYY too heavy for work.

(Really great, though.)

Cat named Virtute

Just sobbing into my lunch over here.

backstagebethy

Just chiming in that this was perfect and wrenching. Thanks (really).

LilykaL

Oh my god, i'm so crying at my desk in the middle of my office and any minute someone is going to come by and ask what's wrong and i'm only going to be able to say 'GHOOOOOOOOOST!'

Sam I am

Ohhhh. Major sad face at work.

cat of the canals

Melis, you are now required to follow up with their afterlife adventures with Eleanor. Maybe throw in some time travel.

fondue with cheddar

@cat of the canals Maybe the three of them will hang out together in someone else's phone!

automaticdoor

@jen325 That is the only thing that is making me stop crying. Or maybe cry harder. It's a toss-up as to what's going to happen now.

Craftastrophies

@automaticdoor Will we ever find out about the egg? Or the very good reasons for not liking the cat? Or what 'Just like list time' MEAAANSSSS.

dinos

Ghost!

This story series actually makes me feel better about mortality (mine and others'), because what if you can come back and live in a phone? It's not so bleak.

melis

Oh, yeah, that'd be great, but you definitely just die and you're dead and there's nothing.

melis

(sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorry i'm like this you guys)

Dancercise

@melis
But... Eleanor Roosevelt! You mean I can't have after-life adventures with her?!

melis

sorry i should have tagged that comment as 'afterlife spoiler alert'

Dancercise

You know how much I hate spoilers. Geez...

dinos

Gather ye text messages while ye may.

backstagebethy

@melis Boo why would you say that.

City_Dater

@melis

(don't apologize i like that you're like that)

Craftastrophies

@melis How many times would you say you have to die?

Kelly@twitter

Ahhhh my heart is breaking...

laserbeams

UGH just like everyone else, I went "yaaaaaaay, more ghost!" and now I am CRYING. I still really want to send this to my boyfriend but now he's seen me weeping over it I'm pretty sure he can't even be tricked into it. But it's so lovely. <3

Nicole Cliffe

HAND TO GOD, I skimmed this really quickly and then asked Edith "why Ghost was dying." "Nicole," she said, politely. "Ghost is already dead. The owner of the PHONE is dying."

feartie

Going to go and send this to my lit friend who loved loved this before even though she is on holiday in a glam place she will stop and read this, because she needs to.

area@twitter

Oh my god, Ghost. I'm tearing up at my desk, you guys.

okay
okay im here

and now I'm flat-out crying at my desk. ghooooooost.

LauraIngallsWildest

haven't read it yet, and i can't because i'm in class and i know that i will absolutely cry. but OMG I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED TO SEE AN ARTICLE ON THE HAIRPIN, HAND TO GOD, BECAUSE GHOST!!!!

ru_ri

What is it when something is heartwarming and heartwrenching at the same time? Heartwarnching? This was that. Thank you, Melis-rhymes-with-trellis! (Sniff!)

Nutellaface

This is the first Hairpin article I've read in its entirety since my dad passed away unexpectedly three weeks ago. I...kind of hope he's with Ghost now.

reebs14

@Nutellaface Man, now I'm about to sob even harder. So sorry about your dad....I bet he's totally kickin' it with Ghost and Eleanor

fondue with cheddar

@Nutellaface I'm so sorry for your loss.

I hope he's gaunting someone's phone with Ghost and Eleanor Roosevelt right now.

sarah girl

@Nutellaface Oh, honey *hug* I hope so, too. :)

Mingus_Thurber

@Nutellaface Sweetie! (((NF)))

Xanthophyllippa

@Nutellaface Everyone should have a Ghost to help them along, I think.

The Hyperbolic Julia Set

WHAT WAS THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT?!?!

The Hyperbolic Julia Set

@The Hyperbolic Julia Set And can I have one please?

Whitney@twitter

So happy to see ghost again... and then desk tears ;___;

SBGBlogs

Well that took a dark turn...

And fine, I'll just say it, I'm kinda disappointed it took that turn instead of sticking with the humor. It's still good though!! LOVE YOU, GHOST! But yeah. Feelings.

Gwdihw

I had to close office door and am desperately trying to repair my makeup and failing.

....and why did I go back and reread the ending? Makeup obliterated.

Woman Laughing Alone With Boas

GHOOOOOOOOOST!!!!

Such a good friend. Filled with sadness now, though.

thatslikeyouropinionman

Ghost! I'm so touched? Would that we could all have such a thoughtful ghost friend looking out for us!

fairytalevegas

i like that ghost mentions the possibility of meeting eleanor roosevelt. because honestly, that would make me feel better.

diesel_vontrapp

@fairytalevegas Me too.

Jennifer Lawinski@facebook

I was so excited to see Ghost again, but this actually made me really sad. Well done, though! Sigh.

Clarence Rosario

Tears in my eyes worse than watching the replay of Mike Eruzione scoring the game-winner in 1980.

Holy shit! Herb Brooks is Ghost.

singstrix

Ghoooooost, thank you for being such a good friend! Maybe my emotions are in question, because instead of desk-weeping I was glad that narrator had Ghost there, like it was a weirdly (weirdly) happy ending.

Interrobanged

Made it halfway through before starting to weep hysterically. Maybe because I had a drink in the middle of the afternoon, but mostly because ghoooooost.

PS THE SMILEY FACE. weeeeep.

Mingus_Thurber

@Interrobanged It's not because you had a drink in the middle of the afternoon. I'm weeping hysterically as well, but maybe it's because I have a cold. Or maybe it's because it's so sad and sweet all at the same time.

Yes, THE SMILEY FACE.

sarah girl

OH NO I JUST REALIZED THIS STORY IS IN THE FUTURE AND DOLLY PARTON IS DEAD :'(

special_boots

@Sarah H. That bothered me a lot too. HOW PRESUMPTUOUS.

Xanthophyllippa

@Sarah H. I...assumed it was Dolly Madison, because I forgot about the first Ghost story. How pathetic and nerdy am I?

EpWs

@Xanthophyllippa ALL the first ladies!

Xanthophyllippa

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Now I have Eleanor Roosevelt in my head, singing that to Beyoncé.

sophi

I'M CRYING NOW GODDAMNIT.

diesel_vontrapp

The comment I'm making is this: my uncle died very suddenly last fall and I loved him so much and I love this story and I love all you guys out there.

sevanetta

@diesel_vontrapp hug

Inkling

@diesel_vontrapp
We love you too--all of us--it is very complicated but we do.
It is not VERY complicated I guess.
<3

katiethegreat

There was a baby visiting my house today and that is how I know that I am crying exactly like one.

So sad, so beautiful.

teebs

Oh god. I have tears streaming down my face. I love you, Ghost.

scottssions

Oh my god. I mean OHMYGOD

DinosaurFeathers

"see you in a minute okay"...ohmygodohmygod, that just tore my heart out...and the smiley, sob!

Craftastrophies

The mitten killed me. I am imagining a little ghost ball in the thumb of the mitten.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

Feelings. FEELINGS EVERYWHERE. [heart broken]

rocknrollunicorn

Oh god, does this mean that we won't read any more from the ghost? Or will the ghost or the person find someone new to haunt, maybe? I mean, I'm sad about the outcome of this story but also feeling selfishly panicked that this may be the end of our spooky correspondences.

whateverlolawants

Tears because of Ghost. And Person. And Julia. And the kids. But not because of Dolly or Eleanor Roosevelt, because that is just great.

zdravo

this made me happysad to a really extreme degree. I LOVE MELIS POSTS!

Chat Noir

I want to know what's going on between Ghost & Cat!

Danagal

@Dana Galbraith@facebook, you have my name and are confusing my flatmate. Hello!

boheem

I wish these were published in a set of 2 miniature books with appropriate cellphone looking text and the odd small simple illustration of things like autumn leaves in some poignant minimal Bill Watterson style in the corners, I would buy ten copies

Kimberly Dowd@facebook

I'm so glad I didn't read this at lunch today. Oh, ghost.. (weep!)

Minx

This....So....so sad. Oh so sad.

(Also, I still want to know what candy babies are and what the ghost's birthday present was.)

somethingobscure

Okay, so, LONG STORY.

I have this "textfree" app so that I can text back and forth with my friend internationally for free, and the way it works is that it assigns you an actual phone number from your home location area code -- one that's not currently in use. Then you can text from it, and receive tons of calls from telemarketers by the way, but you can turn the call receiver thingy off. Anyway, I just got a text from someone on my new textfree number, "wats gd long time no hear frm." Clearly, I have no idea who this person, or who they think I am, but I definitely don't know them, and so I don't want to get into the whole "this is a textfree number I just got so it probably used to be your friend's number but it's not anymore" but I also don't want to make them feel bad and ignore them, potentially ruining their relationship with the person they think I am. SO, I just said "who is this?" to which this person replied "ummmmmmm guess." The long "um" probably means that *DUH* "I" should know who it is, or I would if I were the person they thought they were talking to. So then, remembering these Ghost text posts, I responded, "Ghost?" to which this person said, "Casper?"....

...

Kakapo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbYBlzOHxiE

Statham

I'm a bajillion lightyears behind and just read this, and :{.

regina dentata

i am not ashamed to admit that upon first read i was forced to Google whether Dolly Parton had suddenly died, even though I KNEW she hadn't... I don't know, it just struck the fear of god into me.

Cupcake Coven

So beautifully sad and poignant. Thanks, Melis.

Ashley Mcgarry@facebook

Was so sad after 1st ghost then the relief at seeing return of ghost now im sad again...how did this happen?

withatwist

Oh shit. I just read the ghost saga (now that the prequel is out) and my heart, it aches.
Ghost.

ditriech

This is the best saga i've ever read.

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