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Monday, April 2, 2012

219

I Drank the Kool-Aid, and It Was Juice

Skip this if you already know [about juice].

February 22, 0001 AJ: I was visiting San Francisco, staying with the excellent Wirecutter editor Brian Lam, and I wanted a coffee. So Brian suggested we go to his favorite cafe, which was also conveniently "near [his] juice place," where he needed to pick something up, although the juice-place part barely registered at the time. (I like to point out "my cobbler" to friends, too, for instance, but no one ever seems to care. "Oh you got your shoes fixed? Tell me more" <— words no one has ever said.)

So I got my coffee at the cafe and wandered around outside while Brian went to the juice place for what I would later learn was a "Garden Fire" blend. At the time I was skeptical/mildly disdainful of juice (juice, I'm sorry), because why not just eat your vegetables normally? Also fiber, etc. But then Brian offered me some of this Garden Fire.

"Want some?": the two most important words spoken in my life so far, no joke. (Well, a joke. But I'm living AJ now, After Juice, and that is not a joke.)

"Sure."

It cost $9 for this drink — nine dollars for a juice! a price I would once have laughed at but now consider a bargain (some inner, former self is struggling to slap my hands away from the keyboard after typing that, but she'll soon be merely a forgotten drift of juice-foam) considering how much I spend at bars — and to be ridiculous but not entirely dishonest, everything changed when it hit my lips. I know! I know. Or, maybe I don't know.

But the juice tasted like something else. Food but not-food. Like if you stuck spigots into Pandora (Avatar reference) the same way you stick spigots into maple trees to get syrup, it would taste like that. Alive. (Fairy blood? Tired fairies being milked like cows inside that huge steel juicer?) And this was just after one sip.

"Whoa," I said. "That's amazing." And it was amazing. It was spicy and clear and fresh and bright and delicious without being a delicious I'd been familiar with. It was the craziest drink of my life, except for all the varieties of alcohol I've ever consumed. "What's in this?!" I said, expecting Brian to say something along the lines of "no one knows, it just rains down every leap year in the Garden of Eden," but then he said, "kale, wheatgrass, lemon, cayenne powder, celery, bee pollen, and apple cider vinegar," and I was like, "oh, yeah, it does taste lemony and cayenne-y."

And I'm not sure how best to describe this, or whether to include it at all, but the juice made me feel high. "Sometimes I feel buzzed when I drink it first thing in the morning," Brian said as we drove back. I thought "okay Brian," but then when we got home, I did feel buzzed. But not sloppy. The inside of my head felt bright, thoughts piling on top of one another to get out — but in a happy way, not a panic-stampede way. "Are there drugs in that juice!?" I Gchatted him, but he was "Away." (We were on different floors.)

February 23, 0001 AJ: So, that was day one. Day two I got another juice, and it was pretty good. Not quite the gripping-the-third-rail experience of day one, but — the juice is good. It's weird and wonderful. We asked the woman at the register why drinking it makes you feel like you're on drugs, and she didn't know. ("Because of the nutrients?" she offered, and we were like "...yeah?") But then this older juice bar patron (OJBP) suggested that the point on the stalk where the wheatgrass is cut down — near the bottom — is where it's "growing the hardest," and so drinking what comes from there can be unusually powerful. Which is more than a little New Age-y, but also added a strangely appealing micro-brutality to the whole process. Ruthless wheatgrass slaughter. Feeding from the wheatgrass jugular.

I didn't have any coffee, though, and never quite felt awake. Juice: not coffee. Yet.

February 26, 0001 AJ: IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN! Back in Brooklyn, found a juice place at the back of the health foods store, my hands can't move fast enough to type this, I feel high. Is it the cayenne? The wheatgrass? The LIFE? Life in a cup. (Is it the coffee that I drank before the juice?) I feel GREAT. Juice! Juice! Juice! Juice!

February 27, 0001 AJ: I had some gross juice at a different, lazy juice place near my house. Never again. I think the juice was pre-juiced? But because it was bad, and I still wanted cayenne and apple cider vinegar, I added them to a glass of white wine, ice, and seltzer at home. It wasn't even that bad. It was actually kind of good. I don't care. I maybe should, though.

February 29, 0001 AJ: Some button and bumper sticker ideas: "Ask me about juice" and "I'd rather be juicing."

March 6, 0001 AJ: Juice-thusiasm continues apace! Haha. Well, actually there have been some mishaps, but they're so far from being interesting that ... they boomerang back around to being interesting again! Just kidding, they are very boring. One involved a BEET MISTAKE and another involved A DIFFICULT-TO-READ SIGN.

Yesterday at the back of the health foods store, though, while I was waiting for my juice (one downside to juice [a juicance?] is all the standing around), this hip Brooklyn dude smiled at the juice guy and ordered "your extra-special dark green juice." The juice guy smiled back (he's never smiled at me), and started working. What?! You guys!

March 31, 0001 AJ: I love juice. I'm mostly happy buying it from the (comically endless) juice places around me (I found another one! it's great!), although I've yet to recapture the feeling of that first time in San Francisco. And I'm not yet sure if I want to buy a juicer, go on a juice fast, or talk to juice experts, but fortunately Brian has been doing all of that, for months, and has written a thorough and entertaining guide that just went live. Brian, over to you. And thank you for showing me the way.

(No one is paying me to say any of this.)

(What this means for "juicebox," the slang that originated here-ish and has spread like the wildest of fires across North America and all six other continents, remains to be seen.)



219 Comments / Post A Comment

FoxyRoxy

Sweet Lord in Heaven, this is why the Internet was invented. I am guessing the nearest juice place is at least a hundred miles away from my cornfield but it just might be worth the drive if I can become this enthusiastic about a liquid.

Brian Lam@facebook

@FoxyRoxy Hey FoxyRoxy--maybe you can make your own juice? I recommend a juicer in the link that edith dropped at the end of her story.

FoxyRoxy

@Brian Lam@facebook I have now read about this magical juicer and I actually think I'm going to make the investment. I'm pretty sold.

Megasus

I would say none, because this juice would NEVER come in a box. It is too fancy for that.

frigwiggin

@Megan Patterson@facebook Tetrapak?

Megasus

@frigwiggin even worse!

craygirl

It took me a little bit to figure out "juicance" but now I'm definitely going to need to work that into conversations (juice-related or otherwise).

parallel-lines

"So you've decided to start juicing..."

Oh boy, is there any way I can talk to you out of this, like with a bunch of science-type links or the words "HOLY CRAP $9!"? I'm here to help, just in case you are on the dangerous path to kombucha.

LauraRebecca

@parallel-lines My husband just started brewing his own kombucha. Our house smells like apple cider vinegar and feet - though, admittedly, he might be doing something wrong.

parallel-lines

@LauraRebecca I cannot abide by kombucha. I don't care what people say, that shit is so, so gross looking/smelling/tasting. You are a very nice person for dealing with that.

anachronistique

@LauraRebecca The thing! In the jar! The stuff of nightmares!

werewolfbarmitzvah

@parallel-lines BUT KOMBUCHA IS A MIRACLE. I swear to god my life has never been the same ever since I started drinking kombucha. There's a reason why it's so swampy and full of creepy blobs. BECAUSE IT'S MAGIC. I have not gotten a cold in a year and a half. (That may partly be the newfound obsessive handwashing, too.)

Ophelia

@werewolfbarmitzvah I'll take periodic sinus congestion over the fact that I think I would vomit if someone made me drink something lumpy and swampy.

parallel-lines

@werewolfbarmitzvah I like my alcohol sans bacteria chunks.

Megoon

@werewolfbarmitzvah Recently a girl stopped me on the street and asked me where she could get kombucha nearby. I took it to mean that I glow with health and vitality and therefore must know, but it also could have been because I was on a bike.

sox
sox

@anachronistique I used to drink it regularly and then one time one of the blobs came floating up with these two air bubbles..and...well, it was looking at me?! And now I can only drink a few sips and only if it's been passed through a sieve. *shudders*

werewolfbarmitzvah

@Ophelia @parallel-lines I'll admit that the chunks are the worst part, and I find it helps to just not look at them. They're so slippery that usually I can't tell as I'm swallowing them as long as I don't watch them slide down the path towards my gullet. ALSO what helps (with the bottled versions) is to find one of the less alarming flavors, because some are better than others. Strawberry and mango both go down pretty easily. The green ones are the swampiest, though, and my first kombucha ever was a green one, and the only reason I didn't swear off kombucha for life after drinking that first green one was that I felt oddly incredible and sparkly after finishing it (sorta how Edith says she feels after those green juices?), and I couldn't get it out of my mind. Also, I've had friends say that they don't mind the taste because it reminds them of beer, which also sooooooort of makes sense a little bit...? I think...? All I know is, it's magic and if you drink it every day you'll never get sick.

LauraRebecca

@anachronistique The "scoby." It sounds cute, but looks like a giant hunk of floating phlegm.
I've had a couple of sips from his batch (scoby-less sips) and it reminds me of sparkling apple cider vinegar. He loves it but it's just too bitter for my tastes.

fondue with cheddar

@parallel-lines Maybe I didn't shake it enough, but the kombucha I tried didn't have blobs. But it did taste like champagney supervinegar. My boyfriend is a much more adventurous eater/drinker, and even he thought it was the most disgusting thing ever and poured it down the drain after only two sips.

sarah girl

@werewolfbarmitzvah

"I'll admit that the chunks are the worst part"

What? WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS OMG

I don't even... ?!?!? I'm basically dry heaving at my desk.

Ophelia

@werewolfbarmitzvah I can't even handle oreo cookie milkshakes, so I think kombucha just isn't going to happen for me.

bitzyboozer

@werewolfbarmitzvah I like the taste, but then I also enjoy drinking apple cider vinegar diluted with water, so.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

@Sarah H.: It's horrible fungus in liquid that people drink because they think it's magic

okaycrochet

@Ophelia Plus the thing you are ingesting is coming off a larger, more dense blob called The Mother. THE MOTHER BLOB. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

Diana

@parallel-lines

I used to make hex signs at all the hippies drinking kombucha and then a coworker told me it was the best hangover cure of all time. And my god does it work. And then I realized that it left me energetic and awake without caffeine, so I'd bring it to the library during finals week so I could stay awake exactly as long as I wanted to and then fall asleep right afterwards, without any lingering caffeine high effects.

I have seen the Light, and it is murky and filled with stuff that looks like jellyfish.

AniaGosia

@LauraRebecca My husband and our live-in friend have been brewing kombucha for a few months now and theirs is pretty great - only vinegary if you over ferment it. Some of them have been mind blowingly good - like light sparkling grapefruit juice. And the jasmine tea ones are super delicious too. No one in our house gets colds, ever!

hallu

@parallel-lines The culture that makes vinegar is called the mother too. No more salad for youuuuuuuuu!

Kakapo

@parallel-lines I always say that Kombucha tastes like dirty socks but also somehow good, so he's probably on the right track. Let him know you can poison yourself with the homemade stuff, though.

ixchel

@Diana I can't drink kombucha, it gives me migraines, as some other fermented things do (also, I think kombucha is nasty tasting). But, I have been making water kefir, which is much less swampy and a good alternative for people who want some yummy probiotic action but are scared of the floating bologna jellyfish mother blob.

Water kefir starter is little clear grains, and you can keep them in a muslin bag so as not to have to deal with them too much. You can ferment it with tea, or juice, and it gets pleasantly fizzy. I have been making it with berry zinger tea, and it tastes like a wine spritzer, and strangely, I find it makes me feel a bit buzzed, even though the alcohol level is only around .5%.

Since I have been drinking the water kefir, and eating a lot more of the fermented foods I can have, my digestion has been amazingly better (better than what? let's not go into how it was before).

atipofthehat

Edith!

You even can do it yourself.

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

At $9 a glass of juice, it will pay for itself in around 2 months (not counting the food, but if you join a CSA or shop well, you can hold those costs down, too).

Gracious!

@atipofthehat I'd be happy to have that site's $450 blender, but you can also use an ordinary blender to make smoothies with orange juice, a bunch of raw kale, and a banana. (I don't know if regular blenders can handle wheatgrass.)

The banana's necessary to give a kale smoothie a creamy, uniform consistency; otherwise you get murky, greenish OJ with sort of mulched lawnmower clippings at the bottom of the glass. Frozen blueberries are good in it, too; that's my breakfast every day. I also make this for people who are timid about the fruit-kale combo and use spinach instead, as a gateway vegetable.

atipofthehat

@Gracious!

Frozen cherries are also good in these concoctions, but they are for some reason in short supply these days. Probably it's the fault of Goldman Sachs.

trappedinabay

@atipofthehat - That's my breakfast every morning, too! I've found that half an avocado thrown into the mix makes it even creamier and gives you that wonderful umami mouthfeel. Also throw some ground chia seeds in there. I like a thick smoothie.

parallel-lines

Also, at that price maybe it's time to invest in a Breville?

Sam I am

@parallel-lines YES! A breville. I have one, it is fantastic (took it from my grams, sorry!). It has the fewest pieces, making clean-up a breeze. A friend of mine made me juice the other day (carrot, apple, orange, beet) and added a bit of ginger and a lemon. Never thought to do that myself, but it was delicious!

atipofthehat

@Sam I am

LOVE ginger in juice. You can also make your own fresh ginger ale (soda-water, a little sweetener, fresh ginger)....

Sam I am

@atipofthehat Ooooh, thanks for the tip.

dinos

@Sam I am
Yay for Breville! I have the compact Breville and it is awesome and under $200. After using other kinds of juicers and finding them superannoying to clean (like, needing a wrench to take them apart, f that), I love that I can just pop out all the pieces and scrub them.

wharrgarbl

The juicista accidentally spilled some coke in that first cup, didn't they?

MoonBat

So now I may have to stop making "heifer soda" jokes in reference to the chick my building who brings in what looks like a giant tumbler of watery cud every day?

noodge

I tell ya what, a few years ago when i was living in socal, i started getting amazing juices from a local grocery/produce store that was more than a little hippy-ish. i, too, have experienced the juice high, and i made it a habit when I still lived there. now i'm in philadelphia and have no idea where i could get a good juice...

(ETA: my juices were $5, max... god i wish i could import that grocer here to PA)

Molly Jolene@facebook

@teenie I used to live in Philly and I'd get them at Raindrop cafe. Do they still have those? There's tons of places to get them, though. Fuel or Four Seasons Juice Bar.. I broke down and got a juicer eventually.

amateur hour

@teenie there's a juice place in reading terminal. :)

log lady

@Molly Jolene@facebook @amateur hour ooh! anywhere near south philly?

atipofthehat

"Your extra-special dark green juice."

Ask Caitlin?

Ham Snadwich

@atipofthehat
"One extra-special juice....it's for a cop."

leonstj

I keep trying to get healthy (SO BAD AT THIS) but juice sounds delicious. Especially kale, as it is the finest of all leafy vegetables. Also, I like cayenne.

However, as this involves combining solid foods into a liquid to make life magical, I need to understand two things:

(1)This is food - where is the pork?
(2)This is drink - does it work better with brown liquor or clear?

LauraRebecca

@leon.saintjean Have you tried roasting kale? It is the most DELICIOUS and fun way to eat it. We call it 'popcorn lettuce.'
http://whippedtheblog.com/2008/10/29/roasted-kale-with-olive-oil-and-sea-salt/

Megasus

@leon.saintjean My vote is clear.

Vicky

@leon.saintjean just think about the improvements to your Bloody Marys. Maries?

MilesofMountains

@Vicky Johnson The best added juice for Bloody Marys is clam juice. FACT.

meetapossum

@MilesofMountains My dad drinks Clamato juice by itself.

missvancity

@MilesofMountains Really what it comes down to is that Bloody Marys are sad and wan and disgusting, and everyone should be drinking Caesars. Preferably with bacon infused vodka, as I did this weekend.

whizz_dumb

@MilesofMountains I stopped using clamato a while ago because clam juice eew. That said, my homemade bloody marys usually include horseradish sauce and pepperoncini juice and are best when I'm awake too early all hungover on a Sunday because they induce the best naps. Bloody Mary naps.

MilesofMountains

@meetapossum I may or may not have drank clam juice (from fresh clams, not the bottled stuff) on its own. In a mug.

parallel-lines

@MilesofMountains It might be the Canadian in me but HOLY FUCK clamato/clam juice is absurdly delicious!

leonstj

@missvancity - Now that I'm an old, I have decided I love a super well executed traditional bloody mary. Execution is really key here. I've even taken to sometimes putting all of the solids into a tea-ball or sachet, as i hate them in texture.

If I want clamato, i'll drink a chavela.

parallel-lines

@MilesofMountains I sometimes sneak beef bullion in there too for extra yum--the surf & turf bloody mary.

Vicky

@parallel-lines Ooh, bullion sounds fantastic. I like to add HP sauce & Frank's Red Hot.

meetapossum

I'm not from Maryland, but the best Bloody Marys I have ever had always involve Old Bay. You guys are making me crave a Bloody Mary now.

Vicky

@meetapossum Should you ever find yourself in Baltimore, have brunch at Woodberry Kitchen. Pasted from the menu: The Full Monty / WK tomato juice with paprika tequila, pickle juice & country ham, fish pepper, Boh chaser.

missvancity

@leon.saintjean I only ever drink them at American airports after crying when they say they cannot give me a Caesar. SURELY YOU HAVE SOME CLAM JUICE BACK THERE??

meetapossum

@Vicky Johnson I will remember this! I wish I had known when I was down there in September for my cousin's wedding.

Slapfight

@LauraRebecca I'm making this tonight. Thanks!

Lily Rowan

@missvancity I'm sorry, they really don't.

Only Canadians drink the Caesar!

phylogenetic

@LauraRebecca Okay, am I the only one who tried to roast kale and it ended up tasting like cinders? It wasn't burned, but just had the consistency of newspaper that has burned up but still maintains its cindery papery shape? I was looking for crunch, and it did not deliver.

So did I do it wrong? Because lettuce popcorn sounds amazing.

Tragically Ludicrous

@leon.saintjean you'd like the one good Dutch food that isn't a dessert: stamppot. It's mashed potatoes mixed with kale (well, any vegetable really, but kale is the most traditional and also my favorite) and bits of bacon. Served with a sausage on the side and also some gravy. It's the best in the winter!

CrescentMelissa

@parallel-lines we call those bloody bulls, awesomeness.

missvancity

@Lily Rowan I know, hence the tears. International travel can be so wearying! :P

MilesofMountains

@missvancity You should carry a little vial of clam juice on you. Then watch the security guards' faces as you explain what it is. Or you could just get them to load up on the worcheshire sauce. It's made of fish, so if you add enough you can almost pretend it's clam.

sarah girl

@phylogenetic I had the same problem, it just burned up to a crisp :( Even the pieces that were still green and looked okay! It just kind of flaked apart into nothing in my mouth (or as I was picking it up).

missvancity

@MilesofMountains I'm going to DC this fall, but my return flight is at night, so I should be okay! I'll have one in YVR before I leave though.

AniaGosia

@Sarah H. Kale chips are my favorite snack of all time! Maybe the oven temp was too high? I bake them at 350 for about a half an hour, but I keep checking. They are the best if you toss them with oil and nutritional yeast!

MissO

@missvancity I definitely agree. Caesars are the most wonderful alcoholic concoctions known to man (or at least known to me).
My key to a wonderful caesar: lots of worcestershire, lime NOT lemon, and pickle juice. Also, adding the celery salt to the drink, not just rimming with it. Mmmmm I'm craving one!
I have definitely made virgin caesars to curb my cravings. Many a time...

LauraRebecca

@phylogenetic It will definitely get dark and crispy, but I've burnt it to a charred & unpleasant state, too. I shoot for mostly crispy -- it's light and wafery -- with some tender and green parts. Like @Sarah H said, toss with salt & olive oil before roasting (I haven't tried using nutritional yeast, but I've read a lot of recipes that recommend it). Roasting at 350-degrees hasn't worked out for me but oven temperatures vary so widely that you may have better luck roasting at that temp. Good luck - it's really a great way to eat kale! (And, I am not normally a vegetable evangelist.)

Her???

@LauraRebecca I did that this weekend, and yes, it was delicious (but stinky?). I made it to bring to work for snacks, but when I opened up my tupperware 2 days later it was all wilty again, and verrry stinky. Any tips on keeping it crisp? If it stayed crispy I would deal with the fart smells emanating from my cube while snacking, but farty & wilty not so much.

Kakapo

@whizz_dumb My bartender friend, Li, makes the best bloody mary's in the world. All manner of pickled vegetables and, on occasion, CHEESE on skewers. I wish it was after noon on a Sunday, now.

noReally

But when you take the juice out of the fiber, isn't it basically a nine-dollar, 300-calorie handful of vitamins and Red Bull?

I mean, of course, ten thousand times better for all the intangibles like "energy" and "life force" but…

parallel-lines

@noReally Yeah, it is.

werewolfbarmitzvah

@noReally Yeah, so this prompts the thing I would love a scientific-type person to inform me about, because I am heavily obsessed with nutrition: when you juice something, does that kinda kill off the nutrients and turn it into sugar water? Or does it depend on what the thing is that you're juicing? (Similar to how some foods are better for you when raw and some foods are better for you when cooked/processed, like tomatoes?) I don't drink much juice anymore ever since I started hearing that fruit and vegetables in juice form are not half as nutritious as fruit and vegetables in fruit and vegetable form. (Lies! I had a ginormous carrot juice the other night.)

atipofthehat

@werewolfbarmitzvah

If you use a blender, you get to keep the fiber.

parallel-lines

@werewolfbarmitzvah bad news: carrot juice is kinda the worst example of that--juicing takes out all the roughage (the good part of veggies) and is pretty high in sugar.

The Mayo Clinic isn't into juicing and I trust their opinion on most things: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/juicing/AN02107

candybeans

@parallel-lines adding myself to this thread. More info on juice, please! I'd heard anecdotal evidence (and my gut says) that juice is mostly for giving kids slightly-better-for-them sugar buzzes, but one of you glorious science brains must certainly be able to lay some more knowledge on our asses.
also, because I just can't help myself: reminds me of a party I went to once

candybeans

@candybeans also, I'm sorry.

Dancercise

@candybeans
"I'm not going to leave him alone with all this J-U-I-C-E around."

"I can spell, Mom. You spelled juice."

"Oh, you're so clever. Let's see you find it."

candybeans

@Dancersize one of my all-time favorite Lucille I moments.

realtalk

@candybeans juice from anything high on the glycemic index (fruit, carrots etc) will be mostly sugar, but when you juice things like spinach and kale, you get the vitamins/nutrients from those vegetables without the insane amount of fiber you would ALSO be ingesting - basically you pack more vitamins into less volume (because you've removed the fiber).

candybeans

@realtalk thanks for this! So, is the reason you'd *drink* kale instead of *eating* it just that you don't like eating it? or is there some other reason to do so? Seems as though you're only losing by drinking it.
and, people who like juice: I'm not trying to hate! I just want to understand! If you've had some experience from drinking these sorts of juices that has made you keep drinking, I'd be all ears (ie, my skin is gorgeous! I'm never hungry! my hair is so shiny! whatevs--other than "My brain is buzzing! I hear angels now!!!")

realtalk

@candybeans in the article on the wirecutter edith links to, brian says that he likes drinking them because you can fit more vegetables into less volume - which I guess makes sense, there IS such a thing as too much fiber - but since my perennial issue is eating even when I'm full, being TOO full with fiber is sometimes beneficial because then I actually stop. so when I do drinkable vegetables, I tend to use a blender and do it smoothie-style. does that make sense?

so yes, you are indeed losing fiber, but depending on the person that can be good or bad. I know some people with IBS who have flare-ups when they eat too much fiber, and they swear by juicing.

candybeans

@realtalk I see. Excellent bits of information! Thanks so much!

Myrtle

@candybeans I posted downthread but if you'd like to see two guys use juice to get healthy, watch "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead." My friend has Netflix and saw it there, but it's also on Hulu now (free!) and I've watched it four times now and it's good.

candybeans

@Myrtle Ok, cool! I've heard that title a lot, but didn't know how the subjects made themselves less-nearly-dead.

Vicky

I have/use/love a juicer. Juice cleanses aren't really my thing, I just really like to drink juice.

redheaded&crazy

It looks radioactive! Which, to me, explains a lot.

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

I've gotten in the habit of tying my shoelaces loose and just shoving my feet in to save time in the morning, but it's murder on the back heel part that's not the actual heel at all. Help plz.

(And don't say, "Tie your laces tighter, every day, you slouchy slob!" I'd like to think we're beyond that here.)

KeLynn

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict - Shoe horn?

wallsdonotfall

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict Cut a slit in the back and then attach velcro.

(Don't do that.)

Ophelia

@wallsdonotfall HAHAHAHAHAHA! You just made me laugh out loud for the first time all day.

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict ...clogs?

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

@KeLynn And a time machine?

If I had won that lottery, I would just hotglue my socks to my shoes and throw the whole mess away at the end of the day.

Blanca Méndez

EDITH YOU UNDERSTAND

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

Bryan didn't happen to be wearing his cute little shirt and his cute little pants that day, was he?

joeks

Sometimes when conservatives bitch about liberals, I'm like, "I disagree with you, but I see your point."

This is one of those times.

redheaded&crazy

@joeks harumph clearly somebody needs to drink the juice!

Drink the juice. Drink the juice. Drink the juice.

Slapfight

I suddenly want V-8. AMERICA!
I'm lying. I want magic San Fran juice.

anachronistique

Nine dollars.

Nine dollars?

NINE DOLLARS?!?

JoanHaulAway

I don't have a juice place nearby and didn't know I was wasting away until I read this post, but now I can feel it!

JoanTition

I WANT TO DRINK THE JUICE.

insouciantlover

1. Which coffee place in SF?
2. Which juice place in SF?
DETAILS PLEASE.

dk
dk

@insouciantlover YES PLEASE

simone eastbro

@insouciantlover Well, the juice place is, she says, Judahlicious in the outer sunset, so I'd guess the coffee place is Trouble, Java Beach (I hope not), or a new-ish place on the corner of Judah and 47th Ave that used to be a weird bar and Chinese restaurant.

frigwiggin

You've reminded me that there is an unspeakably filthy juicer sitting in my house as a roommate-remnant, and I should soak it in vinegar and then buy one of those 25-lb bags of carrots from Winco, because carrot juice is heartbreakingly delicious.

sox
sox

@frigwiggin Apple beet carrot: ABC and it is the prettiest color pretty much ever. Toss a bit of ginger in the juicer for extra yum!

hulia

@frigwiggin So good! Tastes like candy! Probably has no nutritional value whatsoever, but I love it.

sox
sox

@hulia There is some explanation here. You're welcome!

frigwiggin

@sox I have never juiced beets! Partially because they're more expensive than an assload of carrots. But that sounds delightful. I want to buy all the vegetables and juice them and give myself digestive problems.

KatnotCat

@frigwiggin Carrot plus banana plus honey plus ginger.

You're welcome.

frigwiggin

@KatnotCat Do bananas even really juice? I just imagine them gumming up the works.

hulia

@sox Ok, so vitamins, yes, but I know carrots are weirdly high in sugar (thus why the juice tastes like such tasty, tasty candy), so was more thinking about the sugar straight to the blood effects that @parallel_lines pointed out. Doesn't make me want it any less, though!

whizz_dumb

Juice-thusiasm, Juicance, Feeding from the wheatgrass jugular! You are killing me.

rararuby

Edith - can we talk cobblers? I pride myself on knowing the best, most versatile and sensitive-to-vintage-details cobblers within a 5-mile radius of wherever I'm currently living and never, not once, has anyone ever given me a chance to show off this knowledge.

I was once late to meet a pal because, as I told him, I was dropping off shoes at the cobbler's. He just smirked and said "you're so old-timey."

Slapfight

@rararuby Cobblers are awesome. They are the reason for buying expensive shoes! Because the cobbler can make them last forever. My guys were able to save a pair my dog had gnawed the heel, strap and buckle off. When I whined "why did she have to pick the expensive pair?" He replied "the good shoes taste better." Professional Italian Shoe Repair in Prospect Heights is awesome.

atipofthehat

@rararuby

I'll take a good peach or cherry cobbler with vanilla ice cream any day.

highfivesforall

@atipofthehat When reading both the article and rararuby's comment, I assumed dessert, got confused, and had to reread the whole paragraph with the intended meaning in mind.

MilesofMountains

@rararuby My new town doesn't have a cobbler. The nearest one is 4.5 hours away. I am terrified for my shoes now. I suppose taking them to the "Tannery and Leatherworking" place nearby is a bad idea?

Ophelia

@MilesofMountains Maybe try it with a pair you don't love, and see what they can do?

Maladydee

@MilesofMountains If the tannery place is a Tandy, they mostly sell leather and other miscellaneous bits for hobbyists to make wallets, gun holsters, and belts from. And also stuff for larpers; their flyer is hilarious because they'll have the redneck-iest ad for a holster kit, and then on the facing page, someone dressed up like an elf, wearing leather armor. Anyway, probably not a place for shoe repair.

Gwdihw

@rararuby
It definitely pays to cultivate a relationship with a cobbler, especially if one has a vintage shoe addiction.

Additionally, now I want some warm blackberry cobbler.

phipsi

@rararuby THIS! THIS! Is the best cobbler I have ever made: http://www.publicradio.org/columns/splendid-table/recipes/dessert_blueberry_cobbler.html

Also works with apples, blackberries, rhubarb.

Daisy Razor

First of all, I would love to hear about your cobbler, Edith. And while I don't understand paying $9 for any liquid that doesn't have the potential to get me laid, you have given me a wonderful idea for what to do with the entire field worth of kale I get at the beginning of my farm-share every summer.

Sam I am

@Daisy Razor Cobblers are wonderful. I hate the idea of getting rid of my favorite shoes, and they have always managed to save my heels. (Save Our Shoes?) I never paid attention to it either, until I had my very own!

Tragically Ludicrous

@Daisy Razor STAMPPOT.

Daisy Razor

@Tragically Ludicrous !!! How had I never heard of this wondrous dish that I could probably even trick my toddler into eating? Bless you. Seriously.

Tragically Ludicrous

@Daisy Razor You're very welcome! The Dutch don't even consider their food worth talking about, but I've learned here that stamppot is a pretty great thing and is really worth bringing up to people.

sox
sox

Edith, this is exactly why I was reluctant to adopt juicebox in the beginning and tried for toolbox instead. Juice!

purefog

No actual recipes?

Heat Signature

That high you felt MIGHT have been a reaction to the bee pollen. I used to take bee pollen supplements and had to stop because I felt like I was getting a contact high (Note: I am not allergic to bee stings).

area@twitter

@Heat Signature So...is inhaling bee pollen a thing? In little lines off a mirror, snorted up with a hollow wheatstraw? I feel like it should be a thing.

Heat Signature

@area@twitter It's never too late to start this trend.

Gwdihw

@Heat Signature
I thought it might be endorphins from the cayenne? From the Heat Signature of the juice, if you will?

Heat Signature

@l'esprit de l'escalier When it comes to juice, anything is possible.

Alixana

Sometimes, I start to get all excited about moving to San Francisco this fall, and then I realize that it is a land of nine-dollar juices, and I just don't know if I can handle it.

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

@Alixana The burritos can feed you for a week though.

thebestjasmine

@Alixana I have lived in and around San Francisco for most of my life. Trust me, most of us make fun of the people who spend $9 (NINE DOLLARS) on juice.

Granted, I do eat a lot of kale, but like, in actual food form.

riotnrrd

@Alixana Everything here is expensive, not just the juice. I prefer to imagine that SF is a foreign county and I am not spending American dollars, but some other currency with a generous exchange rate. $2500 for a small 1 br is insane, but 2500 quatloos? Not so bad!

Alixana

@riotnrrd That does seem very reasonable. This whole thing motivated me to start doing some idle apartment-hunting, during which I learned the phrase "renter resume." Eep.

Brian Lam@facebook

@thebestjasmine yeah, it's a lot, but it's also a lot of veggies that go into one juice. if you'd eat that much juice, you'd feel ok, but if you ate that much salad on a regular basis, well, it's a lot of greens. that's the main reason why I juice.

also, we live in a land where people spend a lot of money on a lot of things, but with health being so important, maybe it's worth spending money on things that help health.

also, there's always making juice. a bunch of kale is like a few bucks and you can make a small glass of juice from it, which is as good as eating it (nearly!). that's not more than a meal, but is better than a bowl of cereal or bacon and eggs.

thebestjasmine

@Brian Lam@facebook The alternative to drinking overpriced juice is not cereal or bacon and eggs, and it's also not deciding that you're not going to spend any of your money on things that help health (which, what kind of statement is that?). It's buying actual vegetables, and eating actual vegetables, which is both cheaper and better for you. With nine dollars at the farmers' market, I bought three bunches of kale, a bunch of beets (the beets and the greens are good!), carrots, an avocado, and some citrus fruit. That can give me vegetables for four or five meals, and it's more filling than a cup of juice. And also, again, it's four meals for $9 instead of a cup of juice for $9.

Caitlin Podiak

@Alixana You can buy excellent juice or smoothies at Sidewalk Juice in the Mission for $4.95.

Having moved here from NYC, San Francisco seems reasonably affordable to me. But right now is a pretty tough time for finding an apartment because all the Facebook/Google/etc. people are driving prices up like crazy.

SunnChips

@riotnrrd My boyfriend and I are moving in together next month (I've lived in the TenderNob for 8 years with rent control, jah bless it!) so I've been scouring craigslist obsessively, and while there are definitely some cute looking one bedrooms in the 17-18hundred range, they all seem to be wayyyyyyy out on the edges of the city (Portola???)

SunnChips

@SunnChips btw I once slept with a guy who lived in Portola, and when I was like, where's that? all he said was "Far-away land"

Jenn

Since you're essentially sipping fruit and veggie sugars without the buffer of fiber to slow it down, it gets shot straight into your bloodstream -- so what we think of as a juice high is really just a glycemic rush? That said, I use my cheap-ass Jack LaLanne so much, it's currently rigged together with some duct tape and a bobby pin.

CAN YOU FEEL IT? CAN YOU FEEL IT? SUGAR HIGH! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUJkM9jAzkk

frigwiggin

@Jenn Ahhh, I was hoping it was going to be this song! Oh, Coyote Shivers.

Katie Heaney

I look forward to the arrival of juice places (juiceries?) in the Twin Cities in about three years or so. (We're just getting into cupcakes.)

Molly Jolene@facebook

@Katie Heaney Same here. I'm in Oklahoma City. Cupcakes galore! Juice, no! I tried to explain to some people that even fancy pie places were on their way out but noooo, don't listen to me! (I'm obsessed with food trends)

MissMushkila

@Katie Heaney I will gladly enjoy the recent influx of decent frozen yogurt places when I want a break from cupcakes in the meantime. I know of three that opened this year! And I was so thankful, because every time I travel I eat frozen yogurt, and then I would return to MN and wonder how we didn't have any here yet.

MoonFlavor

@Katie Heaney Check out the Twin Cities co-ops. I know some of them have juice bars, Wedge Co-op for sure does. Also, Ecopolitan, raw food restaurant in Minneapolis, has excellent juices and smoothies.

HMSBeagle

I have a juicer but don't use it much anymore, since juicers are such a pain in the ass to clean. That aside, beet/carrot juice is delicious and an excuse to have fun purple excretions for a short while.

Sam I am

@heliotropegerbil8 Try a breville (borrow?), its only got a couple of pieces, so clean up is easy peasy.

bitzyboozer

@heliotropegerbil8 This is me also. I used to work at a juice place (JEALOUS?)and got so into it that I had to buy a juicer for home use when I quit. Unfortunately mine is nowhere near as awesome as the industrial strength juicer I was used to (not to mention much more tedious to clean), and it languishes unused except for the inevitable "I'm going to get back into juicing!" kick I get on about once a year. Also, there's the shame of throwing away tons of produce when you get lazy and it goes bad. I guess what I'm saying is, don't buy a juicer.

Brian Lam@facebook

@heliotropegerbil8 the juicer I recommend is not a breville and cleans up in 90 seconds. what I use is better than a breville for green leafy veggies--which are the most nutrient rich. it also has a 10 year warranty vs one year (which the brevilles have)

Molly Jolene@facebook

Juicing is amazing but it's so freaking expensive. It's hard to keep up. Does anyone else feed the pulp to their dog? I mean, it's fiber right? The hoarder in my can't toss all that fiber!

Sam I am

@Molly Jolene@facebook I have a hard time throwing it all out too. I hear you can put some in baked goods? Havent tried it myself yet.

mooseketeer

@Molly Jolene@facebook probably! I just compost it.

Jenn

@Sam I am @MollyJolene Yeah, like the carrot pulp you can use for carrot muffins 'n shit? But usually I'm just throwing a bunch of random stuff into the juicer and I don't want to take it apart just to get the carrot refuse out.

Barry Grant

@Jenn

New retail idea: Muffins 'n' Shit.

uncle jesse

@Molly Jolene@facebook
I totally have a cookbook with a recipe in it called "Juicer Pulp Muffins"! Here it is:
http://overwhelmedbydishes.blogspot.ca/2010/12/juicer-pulp-muffins.html

frigwiggin

Also, this reminds me of the time that my boyfriend and I were drinking a smoothie at home (I grew up with summers being Smoothie Time, and they're so friggin' easy and delicious once that stone fruit hits the farmers' markets), and his brother walked into the room and asked what we were drinking. My response of, "A smoothie," was met with a bewildered, "You can make those?!" It would have been kind of charming if he weren't 21 years old.

thisisunclear

@frigwiggin Making smoothies for breakfast is my new happy time. So so good.

bookfreak

For Christmas, my boyfriend's parents got him a juicer and he went gung-ho with the whole juicing thing. He kept trying to convert me, the problem was he was making these nutrient-rich-but-disgusting concoctions, like celery-cucumber-lemon. I refused to try any more after hearing "No you don't TASTE it, you just chug it down!" (I will admit apple-carrot-ginger was pretty good though.) I had given up on the concept but maybe I just need to try some "professionally-made" juice?

Sam I am

@bookfreak Apple-carrot-ginger is great. Can I recommend trying apple-carrot-beet (if you want, no pressure) and add some lemon and ginger. Delish.

mooseketeer

beet juice is the best! carrot beet apple ginger 4LIFE

undercoverhippie

@mooseketeer totally. that's exactly what I scolled down here to say. AND! i've been wanting a juicer of my very own to love and pet and keep on my counter, so I am off to Brian's article forthwith.

Achyvi

Nine dollars?! How big was that glass? Big city prices combined with health food prices are scary. D:

Does anyone have strong opinions on juicers? If they weren't so hard to clean (why do they have crevices I can only clean with a bent lab scoopula?!), I would swear by the Jack Lalanne ones, even though they are hella expensive. I like the one that brands itself as "The Best Juicer In the World" (maybe that's its name?), but you have to cut everything into really tiny pieces to fit it into the top part, which is a pain, and it's got a really low profile so it's hard to collect the actual juice. The fun part with that one, though, is that it poops out the pulp, and makes immature people like me giggle.

*I use juicers at my place of work to do incoming analysis for concentration, so I cannot attest to how well they do for drinking-juicing, but if you do leafy vegetables they are ALL AWFUL AT IT, ugh.

Sam I am

@Achyvi I really love my Breville. Its only got a couple of pieces to clean and you dont have to cut things up into small pieces (I have no affiliation with Breville whatsoever).

Brian Lam@facebook

@Achyvi Achyvi. I spent 3 months researching juicers and for green leafy veggies, the most nutrient rich, I really like the omega 8003. Edith put a link to my article (it's huge, I apologize!) at the bottom of hers. Click over to wirecutter if you need more information. I also have a $100 recommendation, too. All of my picks are researched but I have to say, this was one case where two weird things happened--the one everyone recommends (breville) is not even close to being the best pick in any regard. Only a few juice masters I talked to--one guy has over 250 videos on youtube about juicing and juicers--gave me the information I needed to make the right call.

SunnChips

@Achyvi Don't juice! Get a vitamix blender and blend fruit/veggies with water. More water for a juicier consistency. You can throw whatever you want in it and to clean just fill it 1/4 with warm water and a squirt of dish soap and turn it on High for like 15 seconds. Fiber!

Jolly Farton

Edith! I just need to know you're getting your fiber! The mom inside me says she must know before she can jump on this juice bandwagon.

Amy Porter@facebook

Buy a juicer. Trust me, you'll save so much money and have so much fun making your own juice. I got a cheap one for $50 and it's awesome. FIBER PEOPLE - There is LOTS of soluble fiber in juice! The thing you lose is insoluble fiber when you juice, which is great stuff, don't get me wrong, but the juice is by no means fiber-less.

miss olsen

Years ago I read in a Martha Stewart magazine that Martha starts each day with a green juice. She said it gave her a physical jolt of energy. At the time I was like whatever Martha, but now I am intrigued. If only there were juice venues in my town (I am assuming Tropical Smoothie doesn't traffic in wheatgrass/bee pollen/magic).

chevyvan

@miss olsen God, if you only knew how many times I said to myself, "whatever Martha" only to be proven wrong. I don't think I can do $9 every day. And I should really get a nicer blender...

MerelyGoodExpectations

There's a jouissance (jouicissance?) pun in here somewhere.

Ophelia

Juissance - the power of Edith's love for juice?

Ham Snadwich

This totally happened to me too! Except instead of juice, it was booze.

StandardTuber

Someone asked for a recipe, so here's a loose one: two parts beets, two parts celery, one part sunflower greens, one part ginger (adapt to taste, this makes it spicy), and two parts green apple. Good!

Now, as for the "special green juice" referred to, I have two guesses:
1) Marijuana and wheatgrass
2) Pickle juice and wheatgrass, cause I would totally do that

Myrtle

I finally saw the movie my friend had been raving about, as it's now made its way to Hulu: "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead."
It starts out on this kinda blow-hard Aussie who decides to go on a juice fast- and then he starts talking to people who are obviously in bad health and I won't spoil it for you because you must watch it. I watched the last 2/3 of it 3 times the other night and cheered at the end each time. They also have a website- and they've already made your T-shirt, Edith, sorry.
I'm on the cusp of doing their juice fast, myself.

JG3
JG3

@Myrtle I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead a few months ago, and it's been on my mind ever since. I keep going back and forth about doing a reboot...I just don't know if I can commit to juice only for any extended period of time.

Myrtle

This type of juice is such a higher concentration of nutrients than we're used to. It needs to be taken in slowly and across the tongue, so the saliva can start breaking it down. No straw! The same with "shots" of wheatgrass; sipped slowly in small mouthfuls. That way there's no upset stomach. Also easier to enjoy the deliciousness.

isavedlatin

I'm drinking a Cherry Coke right now.

emmapeterson@twitter

i work at a juice bar! and i get a free giant juice everyday! i used to do smoothies but now i cannot live without my (one apple)(one cucumber)(two lemons)(spinach)(kale)(chard)(parsley)(celery) juice! sometimes i also add garlic which is not for the faint of heart. sometimes i also add kava which is not so tasty but is basically herbal xanex.
im a poor, but i get so upset on my day off at not having a juice that i go into my job and actually pay for one. BEST hangover cure ever! and as for nutritional concerns, i just make sure to not really use fruit or carrots because those will crazy spike my blood sugar.
IM JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT JUICE. my friends all laugh at me when i say i'm juicing. but they just don't understand.

samdanielle

"a forgotten drift of juice-foam"

I just wanted to pop in and say I love that.

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Someone asked for a recipe, so here's a loose one: two parts beets, two parts celery, one part sunflower greens, one part ginger (adapt to taste, this makes it spicy), and two parts green apple. Good! ormus supplement

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I just need to know you're getting your fiber! The mom inside me says she must know before she can jump on this juice bandwagon
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