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Monday, March 19, 2012

89

Who Is the British "Ornament Fairy"?

"This is certainly a very interesting case indeed. I’ve never come across anything quite like it and although I’m sure the residents of Godolphin Close would provide very good homes for the figurines, we are keen to hear from anyone who may have had their own collection lost or stolen just in case we can assist in reuniting them."
—Police are mystified by the person (?) responsible for the 14 carefully wrapped packages of bone-china figurines that appeared on neighborhood doorsteps with the note "please take care of me." (SIGTTCOTFOIGT ... TTB?)

(Alternately: "Police probe mystery ornament fairy.")

89 Comments / Post A Comment

NeenerNeener

Someone is going to take care of these figurines, or I'm going to... take them back?

Edith Zimmerman

@NeenerNeener DING!

atipofthehat

@Edith Zimmerman

She didn't have much trouble figurine that one out.

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

Easier than determining what Franklin Mint.

NeenerNeener

@atipofthehat
I have a knick knack for guessing these things.

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

There's probably a tall, statuettes woman behind it. (There usually is.)

NeenerNeener

@atipofthehat
I'm actually quite miniature.

atipofthehat

@NeenerNeener

My mistake. I haven't seen your figure inaction.

atipofthehat

@NeenerNeener

Actually, I was impressed at how you got it right away. It baubles the mind.

NeenerNeener

@atipofthehat
It's a purely ornamental skill.

boyofdestiny

@NeenerNeener A quick wit is the tchotchke to winning these guessing games.

atipofthehat

@NeenerNeener

Don't listen to boyofdestiny. He just wants you to hop into his Hummel and go for a ride.

NeenerNeener

@atipofthehat
If he already has one, why was he asking me for a Hummel the other day?

NeenerNeener

You should've seen the smile painted on his face when I said I'd consider it.

NeenerNeener

It was really such a precious moment.

atipofthehat

@NeenerNeener

WOW. Did you even agree to trinket?

atipofthehat

@NeenerNeener

That was probably quite a step for him. From what I understand, he'd never been kitsched.

NeenerNeener

@atipofthehat
He was also curio about that, but I said no.

NeenerNeener

@atipofthehat
I can see why you'd think that, but he's actually collected lots of experience with, um, boning 'gina.
That was terrible, I'm done.

fondue with cheddar

@NeenerNeener He as, in fact he's won a lot of awards for it. He's highly decorated.

NeenerNeener

@jen325
You just had to squeeze one in before the the statue of limitations was up on this thread.

atipofthehat

@NeenerNeener

I told a Frenchwoman everything you said, and she said "je suis decor."

I had to take her to task for her poor feminism.

fondue with cheddar

@atipofthehat Damn, I wanted to respond to this thread last night but I got all wrapped up in a marathon of Joanie Loves Tchotchke.

Devilicious

That's adorable I wonder if they're distributing their own collection or using ornaments they bought or inherited.
Thing is I hate ornaments so I'd have to pass them along to someone who likes them if I received a package like that.

angermonkey

@Devilicious My guess is that the original collector is deceased and the family is spreading the joy of their collection.

Tiffany Hall@facebook

@angermonkey Or the person that owns them is nearing death and wants to pass them on beforehand.

candybeans

@Tiffany Hall@facebook This is what I thought! perhaps she doesn't have family, but really loved these ornaments, and hates to think of them being sold at state auction or just forgotten.

Inkling

@candybeans
I'm hoping the person is a hoarder of porcelain figurines who is trying to cure themselves of hoarding on their own. They stalk kindly-looking people for a few days until they figure out where the person lives and if they are responsible enough to take on mom's last gift/statue that looks like dead sister/etc, then drop off as many as they can bear, slowly extracting the piles of figures from their cramped home in a way that feels comfortable.

Shayna

@Tiffany Hall@facebook Me too! I have a lot of dolls and figurines collected, I wouldn't want to just toss them... I could understand maybe giving them to random people.

George Templeton Strong

How much would you give to be able to say that you live in Godolphin Close in Bury St. Edmunds and were visited by the ornament fairy? Please let this become a Downton Abbey plotline.

Ophelia

@George Templeton Strong Your name reminds me of one of my favorite story character names of all time, Aunt Fidget Wonkum Strong.

Bunnygolds

@George Templeton Strong I still threaten to make my family eat greasy bloaters & cabbage potato sog! What a great series.

Ophelia

@Bunnygolds Hahahahaha! When I was little, and we were being annoying around dinner time, and pestering my parents about what was for dinner, my dad's answer was ALWAYS Greasy Bloaters.

sevanetta

@George Templeton Strong I know! I would love and treasure my little figurine always! And then maybe pass it on in similar fashion with a little note to say what to do...

Chiara Atik@twitter

Well, I just spent a really lovely few minutes taking a tour of Godolphin Close on Google Streetview. The little pub!

raised amongst catalogs

@Chiara Atik@twitter Oh, hello, samebrain.

EpWs

Didn't Jane find a little porcelain arm on her roof a while back?
ORNAMENT FAIRY.

Megasus

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher DEAD ORNAMENT FAIRY

travelmugs

@Megan Patterson@facebook Dismembering ornament fairy.

Shayna

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher The Ornament Fairy and the Tooth Fairy had a fight...

Megasus

@Shayna OR a car (flying?) accident

Shayna

@Megan Patterson@facebook Fairy Fight Club?

Donovanesque

I think this would make a charming little mystery program on PBS.

ETA: Even better if it turned out the figurines could come to life and try to kill you with their tiny, tiny shepherds' crooks and such.

candybeans

@Donovanesque I'm pretty sure you just described the plot of a Doctor Who episode (3rd season, Martha).

BadWolf

@candybeans And also, kinda, an episode in this last season, too! The one with the dollhouse? Seriously, you cannot go wrong with creepy, bloodthirsty dolls...

Donovanesque

@candybeans Why aren't the little figures weeping, then? :D

BadWolf

@Donovanesque Oh, my god, because we are LOOKING AT THEM! Don't blink, Godolphin Close! Blink, and you're DEAD!

Ophelia

When I was 5, we moved into a new house, and someone had left behind a bunch (like, a few dozen) tiny porcelain cat figurines. Teeny-tiny ones (about 1" high).

candybeans

Well, my first thought upon getting a little figurine on my doorstep with such a charming note would certainly not be to call the police in a panic. "There's... a gift! It's on my doorstep! Please hurry!" Also, coppers, don't assume it's theft. Why can't it just be a nice thing??

Inkling

@candybeans
The police likely inserted themselves to continue indulging their favorite activity, avoiding looking for missing persons.

Decca

Completely off topic, but British / Irish people: are we all excited for the final of University Challenge tonight?!?

spanglepants

@Decca Ooh, is it the last in the series? I usually go to an evening class on Monday nights, but it's the last one this week. I'm afraid I can't stand it, but the boyfriend watches it.

Decca

@spanglepants You can't stand it?!? It's the best show on television!

Decca

@Decca Well...not really. But it's my favourite.

laurel

@Decca Hee, it always cracks me up that University Challenge is real and not just a Young Ones episode. "Daddy sends hugs!"

spanglepants

@Decca I do like quizzes, but University Challenge is so snooty! It's just so.. public school, Oxbridge, toffy-nosed! (It's possible I have the same chip on my shoulder that prevented me from applying to Oxbridge when I was in the 6th form, even though it was suggested)(as it turned out, I would not have got in anyway.)

spanglepants

@laurel 'I've got a porsche, ha ha ha ha'

annejumps@twitter

@Decca "It's only University Challenge, Rik, it's only University Challenge!"

*cough*

Decca

@spanglepants I dunno, it's definitely problematic that Oxford and Cambridge are allowed to enter multiple colleges, but lots of red brick universities do really well - tonight it's University of Manchester vs Pembroke College, Cambridge. There is obviously something elitist about identifying Gluck arias or whatever, but for me that's the charm. The elation I feel when getting a correct answer! I just like that it's still going, as fusty and un-cool and dedicated as it ever was.

Decca

@everyone I have actually never seen the Young Ones!

laurel

@spanglepants

Bambi: Who is the richest man in the world?
Monty: It-It's me, isn't it?
Bambi: No, I'm afraid your father's multinational company crashed early this morning.
Monty: [snaps his fingers in an 'Oh, damn' gesture]

Later: Motorhead performs "Ace of Spades".

@Decca I wish I had yet to watch the UC episode for the first time. I really do.

spanglepants

@Decca GASP! You must you must you must!

Verity

@Decca Oh no, I missed it! My parents and I normally watch it (I know, slightly pathetic) and compete with each other while my dad keeps score. My dad and I are fiercely competitive. (Um, also, is it awful of me to say that I was on University Challenge about eighteen months ago? BECAUSE I WAS.)

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

@spanglepants

I never really wanted to be a train driver, you know. I mean, they told me while at school, if I got two CSEs, when I left school I'd be head of British Steel.

That's a lot of nonsense, innit? I mean, you look at statistics, right. 83% of top British management have been to a public school and Oxbridge, right? 93% of the BBC have been to a public school and Oxbridge, right? 98% of the KGB have been to a public school and Oxbridge.

Decca

@Verity OmgOmgOmg seriously? I'm trying to figure out what "eighteen months" ago means in terms of University Challenge series. Was that the Guttenplan series or the Gail Trimble series? Would I recognise you?

Apart from the time I spent in Boston with no way of watching the BBC, I think I've seen every single University Challenge episode since around 2006... My parents and I watch it together as well!

Verity

@Decca Seriously! And neither of those - it was the last series, I think (started airing in July 2010). My team was Merton College, Oxford (Oxbridge-disliking folk, please don't hate me! I went to a failing comprehensive and my parents work in the public sector! I swear I am not privileged and stuck-up and awful); our first-round match was either the last or the penultimate one to air, in October. I was the terrified redhead.

Decca

@Verity Aw, that was the series I missed cause I was in the States! But well done you! I'd say it must be absolutely terrifying.

Verity

@Decca It really was - I was such a wreck before we went on. But nothing dreadful happened, and we even won our first match! (We lost the second, but still, at least we didn't embarrass ourselves.) Thank you!

Verity

@Decca I have now watched yesterday's episode, and am feeling oddly fond of Pembroke's Pugh. He was trying so hard! (Also, feeling that I would be a bit cross about the Duchess of Cornwall thing if it were me, because of republicanism and not wanting the Royal Family to have to be present in order for it to be special.)

The Lady of Shalott

Why doesn't this ever happen to me? I love small precious china ornaments (sometimes I am so stereotypically girly), and I am fated to never have any because I will inevitably break them in a weird mysterious way. My family inherited a bunch of my grandmother's Lladro figurines when she passed away, and they now live in locked cabinets at my parents' house and I am NOT TO TOUCH THEM UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH. Even though I am twenty-three years old and I have a pretty good track record of not DESTROYING things.

Beautiful things! COME TO ME AND I WILL TREAT YOU WELL

atipofthehat

@The Lady of Shalott

I'd like to retrofit that last bit as a pickup line.

LooseBaggyMonster

Quaintest mystery ever!

Decca

Somebody once left a bowl of cooked porridge, wrapped in clingfilm, outside my family's front door. None of us had a clue who had done it, or why. (My mother suggested "Maybe somebody left it for our cat?" before we reminded her that made zero sense.) I later found out that it was National Oatmeal Day in America on that date.

Ophelia

@Decca I had no idea America had National Oatmeal Day. But it totally sounds like A Thing We Would Have.

Decca

@Ophelia October 29th, apparently! Only seven months away, better start preparing!

Ophelia

@Decca On it.

Also, you'd kind of think Ireland would have National Oatmeal/Porridge Day? I ate it a LOT when I lived there.

Verity

@Decca A homesick American thinking your family looked like the sort of people to appreciate their culture and the joys of porridge, perhaps?

Craftastrophies

@Ophelia I think maybe they don't need an actual day. It would be like having a Potato Day. Or a White People's History Month.

travelmugs

My grandma gave me a bunch of Hummels that are just sitting in a box in my closet. They've moved with me upwards of 4-5 times and they're still packed in this box.

Are they valuable? Should I sell them? Should I BECOME the ornament fairy of Philadelphia?

Donovanesque

@travelmugs "Should I BECOME the ornament fairy of Philadelphia?"

I think you already know the answer to that.

fullofgrace

am i cynical? this screams art school student who found the lot in a charity shop.

sevanetta

@fullofgrace it does, except the article says that some were quite valuable, so that becomes a bit more of a stretch.

teaandcakeordeath

Isnt there something like this but with books? You leave a book you enjoyed reading in a public place with a nice note for someone else to read it and then leave it in a public place so there's free exciting pop up reading for all!

E
E

@teaandcakeordeath I immediately thought of the Edinburgh book sculpture mystery! Very Fun! Is all of the UK just filled with merry pranksters?

teaandcakeordeath

@E
We are evenly split between merry pranksters, Dowager Countesses and wags. :)

sevanetta

@teaandcakeordeath I like this! I think there are a few of these schemes going... I found a book with a note inside like this in a car park in Canberra one time :)

laserbeams

In my town, people kept finding eggs mysteriously buried in their gardens.

Seriously.

I don't buy the "a fox did it" explanation either. I just ... what?

Verity

@laserbeams Did you find any in yours?

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