Quantcast

Thursday, March 22, 2012

340

"Was My Face Red!"

Do you remember the column "Say Anything" in YM magazine where readers would write in every month with their mortifying stories? Like that one (or 100) about how a girl AND her prom date decided to wear all white and as she sat on his lap getting pictures taken at the beginning of the night... she got suddenly got her period! Remember?

Well, Calling All Girls – a magazine I recently found a single copy of at an antiques mall — seems to have been aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!"  Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.

Fancy Nancy.

Stay tuned for more stories from this January, 1964 issue of Calling All Girls!



340 Comments / Post A Comment

Eric Nelson@twitter

I'm naming my next kid "Babs Layman Nelson."

charmcity

@Eric Nelson@twitter I love all the names! My next kid is going to be Frances Nancy Patty Babs Ellen Oldladyname!

Megasus

@charmcity Patty Crain! That is a sassy diner waitress' name if I ever saw one.

jason049

I have read a few of the articles on your website now, and I really like your style. Thanks a million and please keep up the effective work SEO work here

elizabeast

I'm positive that years of reading Say Anything--and Seventeen's "Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants. Or khakis.

Actually, I can't believe I ever leave the house.

SarahP

@elizabeast Trauma-rama! Those girls' embarrassments made me feel better about my own perpetually embarrassing middle-school life.

saythatscool

@elizabeast Seventeen's Trauma-rama! once had this letter from a 13 year old girl who wrote in about her 17 year old boyfriend who had recently watched Shaft. For the past month, he would only address her using lines from the movie and things had come to a head when she told him that she loved him and his response was "Keep it cool, baby." she was asking if she should stay with him any more because of his odd behavior and because Shaft never said I love you. And basically the magazine was like "This is the coolest thing we've ever heard of and yes you're going to have to stay with someone that extraordinary."
I loved that they told her she had to stay and wouldn't give her the I love you out. Still cracks me up.

Kristen

@elizabeast I have a vivid memory of reading about a girl who went to the pool when she was on her period, and when she walked by a lifeguard she had a crush on, he said, "Hey, Chatty Cathy, will you talk if I pull your string?" Because apparently, the string of her tampon was hanging down below her bathing suit so everyone could see. This was not only terrifying but also completely misled me as to the length of the average tampon string, which I imagined for years as being approximately 1 foot long.

Also, I realize in retrospect that story was entirely made-up.

JessicaLovejoy

@saythatscool And her next Trauma-rama would be about the time she wrote to a magazine that told her to stay with a boyfriend who only spoke in Shaft quotes. And the green grass grows all around all around, and the green grass grows all around.

Lily Rowan

@Kristen And made up by someone who had never seen a tampon in real life?

travelmugs

@elizabeast The ones that always freaked me out before my actual period years were the ones about a tampon falling out while you were jumping on a trampoline. My family had a trampoline and I was so worried this would happen to me. One day I'll be able to tell my pre-pubescent daughters not to worry because this has never happened to anybody ever.

beanie

@elizabeast reading those before I had ever gotten my period made me think there was no way to avoid getting my period all over pants even if I wore pads/tampons.

Related-I once found my mom's panty liners and thought they were "thinner pads" and wore them under pants on a heavy flow day to my jr. high dance. The stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance). True story that YM wouldn't have to make up!

Ellie

@saythatscool That is so great.

My most embarrassing moment in middle school was having my period during a quiz in Latin class and having it go through my pants (khaki) and get blood on the chair. I told my Latin teacher I was sick and couldn't finish the quiz - this was true because as soon as I realized what was happening I was so upset that all the blood drained out of my head and I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up. Anyway I ran to the bathroom and came back after the class period ended, which was fortunately only like five or ten minutes later. It wasn't like a puddle of blood, but just a few smudges, and my Latin teacher had cleaned my chair off while I was gone which is the nicest thing ever. She's one of the two best teachers I've ever had and she and I became really good grown-up friends afterwards because I would go back and help her with Latin club stuff, etc. in high school. We're still in touch!

Yahtzii

@elizabeast Right? It was part of the grand Say Anything formula.

Bodily Function + Inappropriate Article of Clothing + AND THEN MY CRUSH WALKED BY = Total Teen Humiliation.

MoxyCrimeFighter

@saythatscool Why was a 13 year old dating a 17 year old?! Was she Stacey McGill?

SarahP

@travelmugs I actually assumed stories like that came from girls who didn't know how to insert a tampon, so they were just barely holding on.

quimby

@MoxyCrimeFighter hahahahh! I had to log in just to laugh at this comment!

amirite

@elizabeast Trauma-rama! The one that sticks out in my mind is the one where a girl wrote who had been making out with her boyfriend and he kept jamming his tongue up her nose. She didn't know what to do so she just went with it. Still makes me gag to think about it!

Decca

@elizabeast My own personal period-related trauma was when I was 13 (oh God, 13 was the worst) and in an unsupervised class at school. The two bully girls in the class made everyone be quiet and they went around the room asking each girl in turn whether she used pads or tampons, and then made fun of her whichever answer she gave. What awesome, well-adjusted girls! Anyway, I was already absolutely mortified to be talking about periods in public, let alone be ridiculed for whatever answer I was going to give. So I decided to "make a stand" and when they got to me, instead of answering their question I looked the bully girl straight in the eye and asked: "Why?".

Of course, I meant, "why do you want to know, you creep?" but of course it was misinterpreted as "why would I use a tampon?" and those awful bitches started cackling "Decca doesn't know what a tampon is! Decca doesn't know what periods are!" and a bunch of the other girls in the class just went with it and started laughing at me as well, all relieved that they had got off relatively lightly. Ugh. I guess writing it down now it doesn't seem too bad, but at the time? Was my face red!

saythatscool

@Decca Keep it cool, baby.

elizabeast

@Yahtzii I remember reading these and being more worried about the fact that I didn't have a crush that actually attended my school to be embarrassed in front of. But seriously, I have like 10 tampons in my purse RIGHT NOW.

elizabeast

@Ellie My best friend from 5th grade-8th grade was wearing khakis literally every single time she got her period and wasn't wearing a pad every single time. And it was like this thing, where every few months she'd be at the blackboard with a period stain on her khakis.

At one point I remember asking her why she didn't just stop wearing light colored pants, since that was the approach I had taken and it had worked out pretty well. She looked at me like I was the smartest girl in the whole world.

Aside from that, that girl was awesome and I'm mad we're not still best friends.

elizabeast

@saythatscool Oh my god. I wish you could find this and put it on the internet.

Yolanda and Steve

@elizabeast confession: I spent more time than I'd like to admit making up 'totally mortifying' stories to send in to 17 about the guy I was totally crushing on noticing in one way or another that I had my period.
Fact #1 I didn't get my period until I was 16 so I had no idea what I was talking about.
Fact #2 no guy that I ever crushed on in middle school ever noticed me, period or not.
Fact #3 They never published any of my letters.
Fact #4 I actually got my period in gym class while swimming. I'll spare the gorey details, but, yeah. I never wrote in about it. Haha.

atipofthehat

@saythatscool

Yeah, but did the kid risk his neck for his brother man?

paperbuttons

@Kristen I remember that one! I think there was another in that same swimsuit-related issue where some boys laugh at a girl for having "spiders crawling out of her bikini" and I was like, "pubic hair must be horrible!"

Hellcat

@saythatscool I read one once in which the writer apparently had a gas problem, to the delight of her BF and his friends (all of whom I'm guessing were about 14, and nicknamed her "Fartsie"), but instead of "farting" or whatever, she kept saying "disposing of air."

Worse, though, are the ones you see in Cosmo or Glamour--which appear to be the exact same magazine anyway--by grownup chicks who proudly write in about some vengeance nonsense they perpetrated against their bad boyfriends or, worse still, the girl he cheated with. Look, man--I'd understand the urge to do lots of shit, but actually doing it (to the woman, no less; I think I've actually been fine with some stories of exacting revenge on the cheater) and then bragging in a magazine... oh, I don't even...

Verity

@Decca Isn't it comforting when you realise you never have to be 13 again? It makes me so happy.

Ellie

I'm really happy to see so many of you liked my heartwarming Latin teacher story. She is seriously the best, she's one of the greatest people I've ever met, and she just had a very-much-hoped-for baby, I am so happy for her! Really one of those life changing teachers and I now have a lifelong love for Latin.

pushmi-pullyu

@Hellcat I remember one of those where at someone's party, the hostess was flirting heavily with the LW's boyfriend. So the LW snuck into the hostess's bedroom, and pissed in her shoes. I was shocked and awed that someone could think that was a good revenge to brag about.

Hellcat

@pushmi-pullyu You just want to shake these women and say, "WOULD YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU'VE BECOME!" I mean, pissing in a closet might just say a bit more about you than it does about , you know?

Myrtle

@atipofthehat You can dig it!

nolite_te_bastardes

@Kristen I REMEMBER THAT! I actually remember discussing that with my friends and just not knowing what to do with that "information."

nolite_te_bastardes

@Kristen I REMEMBER THAT! I actually remember discussing that with my friends and just not knowing what to do with that "information."

03313961h

@JessicaLovejoy pushmi-pullyu You just want to shake these women and say, "WOULD YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU'VE BECOME!" I mean, pissing in a closet might just say a bit more about you than it does about , you know comearredareunbagno.it

micheljhon

essicaLovejoy pushmi-pullyu You just want to shake these women and say, "WOULD YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU'VE BECOME!" I mean, pissing in a closet might just say a bit more about you than it does about Write To Learn Student Login

Alexmen

pullyu You just want to shake these women and say, "WOULD YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU'VE BECOME!" ...מלוטון ללונדון

TooCool4School

those columns were like the first blogs!

ThundaCunt

Oh, Babs! you silly girl!

P.S. Please don't hate me

I wonder what it says about pajama parties? I could really use some advice in that area...

charmcity

@P.S. Please don't hate me I think the secret is arriving by parachute.

AndSomethingElse

@P.S. Please don't hate me I was gonna post the same thing. I have been wondering what one is supposed to wear to a pajama party.

boysplz

@Alexander And what to eat! Like is it food to eat beforehand to avoid embarrassing body things? Or maybe what to expect to be eating at your pajama party? These are important things!

AndSomethingElse

@boysplz Right? I'm basically panicking over here because if I get invited to a pajama party before someone covers this I'll have no idea what to do and will probably explode.

Decca

@P.S. Please don't hate me Fuck pajama parties, I want better grades with less studying!

(The solution is sexual favours, right?)

P.S. Please don't hate me

@Decca
Thank god I don't get graded any more. I still have actual nightmares about having to return to school because somehow someone figured out that I didn't complete some required course or other!

Verity

@P.S. Please don't hate me http://xkcd.com/557/

Emby

Lies. Hagerstown doesn't have department stores, it has Wal-Mart and Big Lots.

heathnic

@Emby We've got a Macy's, OKAY?! And 2 Big Lots now I think. We're coming up in the world.

raised amongst catalogs

Story #2 is from The Bell Jar. Nice try, Nancy Reidman!

BadWolf

@vanillawaif OH! I was just thinking, "That sounds weirdly familiar," but my brain was going in a decidedly Anastasia Krupnik direction. I have apparently expunged my entire English major. Anyway, well done!

thebestjasmine

@BadWolf I love you for thinking that it was Anastasia Krupnik.

raised amongst catalogs

@BadWolf I was an English major, too, but love the heck out of the Anastasia canon. My dream dinner party made up of literary characters as guests includes both Jane Eyre and Katherine Krupnik.

Ophelia

@BadWolf Ohhh! Anastasia Krupnik! Is it weird that my secret dream is to be her parents? I want their life so badly.

raised amongst catalogs

@thebestjasmine I bet @BadWolf was thinking of when she dropped "the bockle" into the garbage disposal when she got hired as a maid (thinking the job was to be a rich old lady's companion).

BadWolf

@Ophelia So not weird! Or, I mean, maybe, but it is my dream, too. How bananas awesome are they? In the first book, where she asks her dad if he ever had a grand love affair? Oh, man, I die.

If I can't be them when I grow up, I at least want a giant bust of Freud that I can talk to, and a neighbor named Gertrude Stein.

BadWolf

@vanillawaif I think I was! Only yesterday, I was thinking about my pile of filthy laundry, and about how "Daphne had a pair of jeans that stood up all by themselves in her closet." I will never be that cool.

Ellie

Anastasia Krupnik IS ME. I think about those books so often. Especially whenever I say "debacle" or think about Gertrude Stein. I always wanted to have her parents, though, not to be them. My dad teaches at Harvard too but we had lived in Medford, not Cambridge, before moving to the suburbs.

raised amongst catalogs

@BadWolf Daphne! With her Joan Crawford lips and Joan Crawford shoulders!

thebestjasmine

@vanillawaif I need to reread all of those books immediately.

...and OMG they are available for Kindle. It took like .25 seconds for me to click on the Buy Now button.

chickaboom

@vanillawaif oh my GOODNESS. i think about the bockle and the unwashed masses all the time actually, but i hadn't thought of anastasia krupnik's name for YEARS. thank you, commenters.

raised amongst catalogs

@thebestjasmine I always have this huge stack of books next to my bed (sometimes in the bed), on the nightstand and on the floor next to my slippers. Without fail, in with my more serious or grown-up reading, there will be an Anastasia book or one of the Melendy books by Elizabeth Enright. They just make the world feel right to me and I like to keep them close.

LMac

@BadWolf I read the f out of Anastasia on my mom's recommendation, because the Babysitters Club books were all about boys and, let's be honest, kind of trashy. So I never told her about the Playboy references, or Anastasia's obsession with Gone with the Wind, specifically when Rhett carries Scarlett up the stairs. "They could have been playing Scrabble up there, for all we know." Gah, those books were so amazing! "Pages Bookstore," thumb wart, Gertrudestein, Freud bust. I love you, Lois Lowry.

BadWolf

@LMac "Melanie and Ashley played Scrabble, the wimps."

raised amongst catalogs

@LMac The time Myron Krupnik's old flame, Annie, comes to dinner and Anastasia has attempted to make a passionate, purple color scheme for her dinner with Steve!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

Anyone else still harbor a secret desire for a bedroom in a tower-thingy (that is for some reason connected to a pretty normal house)?

raised amongst catalogs

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Oh, you have no idea. Any time we drive by one, I say out loud, "Oh, an Anastasia Krupnik house!" and my boyfriend looks at me with suspicion.

thebestjasmine

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me Like in Anne of Windy Poplars? UM OF COURSE I DO.

Xanthophyllippa

@thebestjasmine @BadWolf I love you BOTH for knowing who Anastasia Krupnik is.

ETA I now love ALL of you for knowing who Anastasia Krupnik is. Let's go in together on a big old house with a tower and take turns living in the tower!

Ellie

Just went to the library and got six Anastasia Krupnik books!

thebestjasmine

@Ellie I'm worse, I already bought one on Kindle, and I'm thisclose to buying all of them (they're only $3 and change each!).

chickaboom

@thebestjasmine Anne of Windy Poplars?! These references just keep getting better! My dreams of living in a garrett and/or tower will never die.

Let's find a house that is made entirely of towers.

LilyMarlene

@Ophelia I have had a secret dream of raising an Anastasia Krupnik-esque daughter of my own for years. Not just because I want her parents' lives, their house with a tower, Gertustein for a neighbour, and Frank the fish, but because she would just overall be such a cool kid.

quatsch

@vanillawaif Ahh! That one taught me a lot about washing machine dying protocol and personals ads abbreviations.

LMac

@vanillawaif Yes, yes a thousand times yes! Didn't she try to dye everything purple? And Sam had the chicken pox? Oh man. Those were the days.

Faintly Macabre

@vanillawaif Or from a time-traveler who watched The Princess Diaries movie!

(Also, I was just thinking about Anastasia Krupnik recently! I think I only ever read the one where she goes to modeling school, though. Now I want to read them alllllll)

Ellie

Update: Have read one and a half Anastasia books so far (Anastasia Absolutely and half of Anastasia's Chosen Career). Now that I'm old I now would prefer to be Anastasia's parents. My parents are soooooo much like them, too, though. Wow.

raised amongst catalogs

@Faintly Macabre Ahhh, the one where she meets Henry who coolly tells a catcaller, "Stick it in your ear, turkey."

raised amongst catalogs

@quatsch I love how *embarrassing* everything was to Anastasia. Lois Lowry, I adore you.

Verity

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me YES. And I love this whole thread. (Also, yes, Katherine Krupnik as dream dinner party guest/future self!)

alebee

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me When I was like 10 or 11 I definitely rode my bike around Cambridge looking for all the houses that could have been hers, and found one that I will lust after until the day I die, because: tower. Unfortunately that house probably costs a hundred billion dollars, because Cambridge. But still.

Faintly Macabre

@vanillawaif And she starts talking to her friend about if they'll do nudes and she says it too loudly and everyone turns and stares and giggles at her oh my god oh my god

Cupcake Coven

@BadWolf Thanks for reminding me of Anastasia Krupnik! Must re-read now!

Slapfight

@Ellie Oooh! I grew up the next town over, in Malden.

micheljhon

Ellie Oooh! I grew up the next town over, in Malden.

Snapchat Users

She was a retail whore

I was just thinking about this column yesterday! I remembered a particularly gross one [like, REALLY gross...stop reading now if you're squeamish] involving a party at the home of the author's crush, her unexpected diarrhea, a toilet that would not flush that diarrhea, her frantic defenestration of the most solid bits, the inevitable realization that below that bathroom window was the glass of the porch on which the party was taking place. What the???

I still shudder when I think of that poor girl. I would have had to move out of town and change my name.

AndSomethingElse

@taigan I'm not sure whether I'm more impressed by that story or by your use of the word "defenestration," one of the finest words ever.

Either way, you are the winner.

mfred

@taigan - the worst YM story I read involved a girl kissing her boyfriend: when she grazed his cheek, his pimple popped in her mouth. But I think throwing poop out of a window onto a glass porch is worse.

I also vote you as winner.

rayray

@taigan Ah, the old poo-out-of-the-window-onto-glass-roof classic. I have heard several variations. The involvement of diarrhea perhaps makes the girl's efforts even more impressive!

raised amongst catalogs

@mfred GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NeenerNeener

@taigan Well, if we're going to talk about these things, the most vivid one in my memory was about a girl who was being carried on her boyfriend's shoulders, something was really funny, and she laughed so hard that she farted, only not a normal fart...
I still think yours is worse. Poo is way more embarrassing than period, IMO.

TyrannosaurusWreck

@mfred I REMEMBER THAT ONE. OH GOD. It's so gross. Can we start a thing like that here at the Hairpin? "Hair-raising Tales" perhaps?

BadWolf

@NeenerNeener I REMEMBER THAT! I also remember one about a girl having a "not normal fart" on a trampoline at some sort of party (in front of her crush, duh), and REALLY hoping YM had some lucky intern whose job it was to make those letters up.

AndSomethingElse

@jen325 Ah ha, that comic was hilarious.

Fun fact: these columns and most of the Penthouse Forums letters were all written by a reclusive workaholic named Hans Smeltzer, who lived in his mother's basement and died at 42 of a brain aneurysm. His mother threw out a big stack of papers when she eventually cleaned his room out to turn it into a craft room, not suspecting that it was the greatest novel since Confederacy of Dunces*. Which is why everyone should have a Max Brod.

* just kidding, Confederacy of Dunces sucks.

Are They Biting Ducks?

@mfred Oh god I was just about to comment with that one! It refuses to leave my memory. :(

klemay

@taigan I had to comment because I loooooove your avatar. My next tattoo will be a similar image!

Gina@twitter

@taigan I REMEMBER THAT TOO! I think anyone who has read that will never forget. I also remember the pimple-in-mouth one. YM was obviously an important part of anyone's lives if they were in middle school in the 90s. I just found a huge stack of them in my parents basement because I refused to throw any of them away.

paperbuttons

@taigan Defenestration of Poo! That was my old Riot grrrl band.

Bitca?

@Gina@twitter I'm so glad someone else admitted to hoarding YMs and Seventeens. I just found a box of them in my parents' attic and actually had a hard time deciding whether or not to keep them. I mean, now they're artifacts. The prom issues alone are worth their weight in gold.

lindackerite

@taigan I'm not quite sure yet what it says about me that I read this post (quite tardily, but I don't have much time during the day to read the Internet, so I have to catch up in the evening, after everything has died down, which has also kept me from commenting since I want to be there during the zeitgeist, ya know?) hoping passionately someone would bring up this. exact. story. and when it happened I threw down my mobile device and walked into the kitchen for a drink, which is the Internet equivalent of dropping the mike and walking off stage. I mean, that a those-in-glass-houses-shouldn't-throw-poo trauma-rama would make me de-lurk and create an account is kind of weird, but it just made sense, since it solidified the fact that you guys are exactly who I should be trying to hang with, since you guys will totes have my back and tell me when my crush is standing behind me, right!?

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but i remember there were lots of seasonal stories about being with one's crush at the beach, getting one's period, and running/diving/sacrificing oneself to the sea to avoid the embarrassment?

emmashoe

@taigan NO WAY. Someone once relayed this story to me. I still don't understand any of the logistics of it--was there no window screen? and the glass roof was so conveniently right outside the window? and WHY? Just, why. That is the most important question I have.

She was a retail whore

@mfred GROSS. I only bought those magazines for these stories, and when I went to college, it just wasn't worth it to renew my subscription. I can't believe I missed some other thing to be completely paranoid about when it came to kissing. Of course, the very real phenomenon of adult acne means that this could conceivably still happen to me. Thanks for the new nightmare!

anmanblack

Someone once relayed this story to me. I still don't understand any of the logistics of it--was there no window screen? and the glass roof was so conveniently right outside the window? and WHY? Just.... garcinia cambogi reviews

SarahP

Can someone explain to me the physics of Babs's story? I may need a diagram.

saythatscool

@SarahP Sometimes when a girl loves a suntan lotion tube very much, they want to consummate that love. And sometimes they want to share that love with another person. In this instance, a shopgirl.

sox
sox

@SarahP Does the handy illustration not quite do it for you?

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@SarahP Wasn't "suntan lotion" basically just baby oil back then? Because you used the stuff to make yourself MORE tan? That is the sort of liquid I am imagining, not the viscous stuff of The Future.

SarahP

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me But how do you have no idea you're spraying it in the face of someone who is apparently behind you? Hm.

Peanut Butter

@SarahP OK! I had to read this too many times to get it. She had the lotion, heard the sales associate, spun around while simultaneously squeezing the tube of oil into her face.

oh, disaster

Suntan lotion actually came in buckets in 1964.

SarahP

@andrea disaster THAT makes more sense. Sort of.

oh, disaster

@SarahP You know when you write something and then read it hours later and are like, "Self, what the hell were you on?" Yeah, that.

octagonfudge

They also put out collections of the stories that were in this magazine in book form. I had several volumes that must have been my aunt's. They were usually stories of girl nurses, girl teachers, etc. I remember one in particular about a girl who played the harp, and how much fun people made of her because she was so intense about playing the harp. Her roommate painted her nails only to have it chip off when she practiced, and said the harp was ruining her life! But the harp WAS HER LIIIFE. Then she played it for the school and they were transfixed by harp music and she became popular. I am sure that happened.

Decca

@octagonfudge And that girl grew up to date Andy Samberg.

stonefruit

@octagonfudge Andy Samberg is my friend's cousin!!! /fangirl

annev6

I used to call these "And my crush was RIGHT BEHIND ME" stories. I am still haunted by the girl who sat behind her crush in class and accidentally breathed too hard and shot a booger out of her nose onto his arm and he screamed "She's flinging boogers at me!"
Seriously I am haunted by that story and to this day I want to know if that poor girl is ok.

AndSomethingElse

@annev6 There is almost no chance that she's okay. She's probably blowing a fat guy for whiskey money right now.

ThundaCunt

@Alexander oh god! LMAO

raised amongst catalogs

@Alexander I just hurt myself trying to keep my laughter in, because I am at work. Oh my god, so funny!

annev6

@Alexander Maybe she changed schools and towns and names and hair colors and major facial features and went on to lead a totally normal, well-adjusted life. (This was before Facebook after all!)

MoxyCrimeFighter

@vanillawaif The person in the cube next to me is on the phone with a client and I just laughed SO LOUD. He's going to kill me.

werewolfbarmitzvah

I used to LOOOOOOOOOOVE THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE! My friends and I would act them out all the time. And they always seemed to end in, "I dropped the pizza boxes and ran!"

Inkling

@werewolfbarmitzvah
Grl ask boi 'do you luv me mor den u luv pizza?' Boi saez "NO" grrl cry and run away n to wall and fall to ground. Boi cry "I luv you wit pizza!" He throw pizza hut pizza box n butiful ruby ring fall out. Grrrl sees dat boi wuz gonna propose at pizza hut n dies from embarrasment. Boi eats da pizza. ~LIK DIS IF YOU CRIE EVERTIM.~

tea tray in the sky.

@Inkcrafter I crie ever tim...

MonaMonzano

@werewolfbarmitzvah
My best friend's older sister was super amazing. She and her (super cool) friends would take turns reading these stories out loud in dramatic voices, and a couple of times I was invited to participate. I was SO HAPPY but SO EMBARRASSED to read the word "period." Now, some fourteen odd years later, Cool Older Sister is getting married I'm invited to her wedding! I feel so cool! My inner twelve-year-old lives.

BuffyBot

I use the phrase "Trauma-rama" in everyday life. I once wiped out in my office and immediately made it my facebook status.
One of those had the rating system:
* You trip and fall
** Into a mud puddle
*** While a bus drives by
**** And your crush is looking out the window!

Best.

melmuu

Remember the one where the girl needs to change her tampon and all the bathrooms are occupied so she goes to a dark corner of the livingroom, and then suddenly the lights go on and it's her SURPRISE PARTY?
I don't know.

annev6

@melmuu No way. NO WAY. At that point I don't even feel sorry for you. If you're changing your tampon outside of a bathroom "because all the bathrooms are occupied" you almost deserve that.

Ellie

I changed a tampon once while sitting on the curb outside my super-cool urban bike shop waiting for my bike to get fixed. Nobody saw. I'm great at putting them in clandestinely.

Judith Slutler

@Ellie That is some serious tampon-ninja shit

CrescentMelissa

@melmuu tampon-ninja! you win.

AndSomethingElse

@Ellie My favorite story at parties is the one about how once I saw a woman actually change her tampon outside a bike shop. I guess she thought no one would notice?

That didn't actually happen. You are a ninja.

AuntAgatha

@melmuu But... how did you pull out/store/dispose of the old one without anyone noticing?? That's beyond ninja territory into straight-up wizard shit.

regina dentata

@Ellie Okay. And somewhere else right now, someone is telling the story of the time they saw that girl change her tampon outside the bike shop.

Ellie

@AuntAgatha I was wearing pretty short shorts and sitting on the curb so I could kind of put my hand up there subtly and nobody was really around. I mean, around maybe, but not too close or looking at me. I actually now think that I was just putting one in, not changing it. I put the applicator back into the wrapping. I get the plastic Tampax Pearl kind which I ADORE and are so easy to put in.

acookieaday

The YM stories probably were too indelicate for a 60's girls publication. The worst were always along the lines of:
1. I was doing some sport, and my breast was exposed (horribly traumatic!)
2. I got my period and everyone saw (horribly traumatic!) cause it bled through my white jeans
3. I was at my boyfriend's house in a short skirt and he pulled out my tampon! (urban legend)

fabel

@acookieaday yess I remember so many variations of 3., like "I was wearing short-shorts with frayed ends & my crush went to pull a loose string out, except it was my TAMPON STRING AND IT LANDED ON HIS TOE!!!!"

BadWolf

@acookieaday Oh, man, I believed them too! What I subsequently cannot believe is that, to this day, fashion people are trying to make white jeans happen.

bean1

I am going to google every one of these women and see if I can find out where they are now. Babs may totally be a doctor or an executive! Or maybe she plays tennis and bridge?

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@bean1 I really enjoy the spectrum you've assembled here. Where would "has gin at lunch and plays golf on Saturdays" fit in?

Beericle

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose perfectly for both.

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

@Beericle Heh. Excellent. Now if we could find space for Frances, who I imagine has now just left her stuffy husband with a huge divorce settlement in tow, and has been thinking, "You know, I bet I could pull of fur-lined boots. But not up to the knee, that's just garish."

Alexmen

the spectrum you've assembled here. Where would "has gin at lunch and plays golf on Saturdays" fit in?...symptoms of cataracts

raised amongst catalogs

@Where Pies Go When They Die Sixth grade choir class. I was the only girl not wearing a bra yet (not only because I didn't need one, but because I didn't WANT one). It was a really hot summer day and one by one, girls were peeling off top layers to get down to tank tops and t-shirts. I pulled off my sweatshirt, but also accidentally pulled off my t-shirt along with it, revealing my TOTALLY BABYISH PINK UNDERSHIRT. People were pointing and laughing and I just pretended that I meant to do it, and toughed it out in my undershirt.

supernintendochalmers

In college one of my roommates got a Trauma-rama compilation book for our bathroom. It was fabulous reading. Every other story had to do with periods, but there were a fair amount of "I was making out with my boyfriend and our braces locked together!" Has that ever happened?

nogreeneggs

@twinkiecowboy I never had braces so I can't answer your question. But you know what does happen?

Your first boyfriend (that you only "dated" because you BFF told you it was weird that you had never had a boyfriend at 16) who does have braces attacks your face and ACTUALLY cuts your mouth with his braces. Also, your parents don't know you have a "boyfriend" and the pressure of of lying about how your face got mutilated gets to be too much so you break up with your "boyfriend" after 3 days and everyone calls you a prude.

That really happens.

ETA: Oh and also, face mutilation was my first kiss. Kissing was boys was scary for a while after that. :/

mabellegueule

@twinkiecowboy I had braces and one time I went into a pet store and a parrot that was allowed to fly around flew straight at me and locked onto my braces! It was attracted to the shiny, I guess? A clerk had to pull it off and I had to see my orthodontist to adjust the wire that was bent out of shape.

supernintendochalmers

@mabellegueule OH MY GOD. The horror! **** for that story.

supernintendochalmers

@nogreeneggs Ahhh! That would scare me off boys with braces for LIFE.

NeenerNeener

@twinkiecowboy
I never had braces, but I did have my tongue pierced and once kissed a guy who had a double tongue piercing and we got stuck together (only for about 10 seconds, but any amount of time is too long when something like that happens).

Ellie

@mabellegueule Oh. My. God. I would die.

Once my braces got stuck in the pull chain of an overhead light when I was jumping up and down (like you do when you're ten for no reason) and it pulled the cord off. It was at my friend's house and she/her parents were mad at me. It was an accident! So embarrassing.

Verity

@mabellegueule OH MY GOD.

No braces involved, but prying-off of animals: I was once at a wildlife park and they had a special exhibit where you could hold snakes and hissing cockroaches and tarantulas and things. I was holding a snake, and it suddenly bit me on the finger. I didn't want to make it angrier, so just sat quietly until a passing staff member saw the snake with its teeth locked in a small child's finger, and pried its jaws open. And then I decided that I needed to show I wasn't scared, so had the same organisation come to my house, snakes in tow, for my next birthday party. WHAT ON EARTH, self.

Hellcat

@Verity OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! But props to you for being brave enough to be anywhere near, let alone hold, a snake. Of the few times I've been in the vicinity of one, I just screamed, cried, grabbed onto the nearest person (provided s/he was not holding the snake), hopped, laughed at my own stupidity, cried more, and then wondered if I'd hurt the snake's feelings.

CrescentMelissa

@mabellegueule Girl! I am so ahhhhhhhhh! With birds that I may have died right there. They make me nervous. Props to you for surviving!

regina dentata

@mabellegueule if that happened to me? i would have shit my pants. while my crush was right behind me.

mabellegueule

@regina dentata Your username is fantastic :)

Alexmen

I am so ahhhhhhhhh! With birds that I may have died right there. They make me nervous. Props to you for surviving!...australia travel

JennyM

Back in junior high, my best friend and I would sometimes describe our school dramas in Trauma-rama form, and the end always had to include the phrase "needless to say...," as in "Needless to say, I could never sit next to him in science class ever again!"

(actual ending to the story of bestie sitting next to her crush in Chemistry, and mistakenly pulling out an OB tampon instead of her tube of chapstick and putting it on the desk in front of said crush! Trauma-rama!)

Ellie

@JennyM I like that. "Needless to say, I was always on time to Russian class after that so that I didn't arrive at the same time he did and have my Russian teacher make us be conversation partners."

area@twitter

@Where Pies Go When They Die YES PLEASE. In the pool during swimming practice, the guy next to me pointed and said, "You have a moustache!" (Fair skin, dark hair, so I probably did, but still.) I am still cringing at that memory fifteen-odd years later.

Judith Slutler

I remember one Trauma-rama which was like, "My friend and I got back from the beach and I started blow-drying my hair, and then flipped my hair over my face and bent down to get the back of my neck blow-dried too. Then my friend's cat attacked my hair and scratched up my face!"

Don't ask me why but this caused me to always lock my cats out of the bathroom before I blowdried my hair? Like, I was just convinced that my mild-mannered kitties would instantly lose their tiny minds and start attacking my face.

BuffyBot

@Emmanuelle Cunt
The one I remember specifically was a girl who was on vacation with her family and left the pool to go back to the room to poop and then when she came back down she had lines on her leg from sitting on the toilet and her mom pointed it out loudly! AHHH! I was afraid to ever use the bathroom in a bathing suit after that.

tessamae

Is it just me, or did the second letter totally conjure up this Liz Lemon confession:

"Once in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a country steaks all-you-can-eat buffet, and I didn't leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp."

elissa_what?

@Where Pies Go When They Die Great idea! When I was in 7th grade, during English class I got up during quiet solo-work time to ask the teacher a question and this other girl hurried up to me to tell me that I'd gotten my period. She gave me her sweater to tie around my waist (totally not conspicuous at all) and I went straight to the office to call my dad to come pick me up because I'd never gotten it before and had no idea what to do. My dad left work, came and picked me up, took me to the grocery store to buy my first ever pads, and then we got home and I went to put one on...and I had not started. I had sat in something. I didn't get my period for two more years!

Hellcat

OK, I am still trying to mentally reenact exactly how Babs's situation could have even occurred! Is she super-tall? Super-strong? And I cannot get my head around the logistics/trajectory of this unfortunate saleslady.

Hellcat

@Where Pies Go When They Die And how does this chick hold lotion? In a fist?

Did you, perchance, stand up in your office (or home, or store) to try to get a better idea of this? I may have...

Decca

@Hellcat I've just done the psychopath test on Babs and she is definitely one.

atipofthehat

@Hellcat
@Where Pies Go When They Die
@Decca

Unless the whole thing is an incredibly dirty metaphor.

Hellcat

@Everyone While I still doubt Babs's story, maybe it was just a freakish thing. I only say this now because I recall one time that I had a cup of DD coffee in my hand, and in the fingers of the same hand, I had a lit cigarette. I was holding both completely normally, yet still somehow burned a hole in the coffee cup. I tried to reenact that too, and no luck. Also, I once managed to spill coffee into my own bag as I was walking.

Still, my things didn't involve a saleslady who may or may not have been either sneaking around or simply standing way too close to Babs. On the other hand, now that I think about it, these stories all have Drop Dead Fred's fingerprints all over them.

Verity

@Hellcat I read it as Babs being startled and squeezing the tube really hard as she turned around, squirting the saleswoman in the face. God knows why she ran up to her shouting, though.

Hellcat

@Verity Yes, putting aside for a moment Babs's brute (yet somehow undetectable to her) strength and strangely accurate yet accidental aim... if the lady ran up to Babs, one would assume she had been at enough of a distance from Babs to have not been in the danger zone!

stonefruit

@everyone in this comment sub-thread: I am laughing so loud that I think the bike-polo hooligans across the street must be able to hear me.

tessamae

@Where Pies Go When They Die Count me in. During my senior year, after I had consumed one too many Malibu rum and Sprites, I was sitting and talking to my crush and tried to casually put my hand on his thigh (because mags like YM told me that told the boys I liked them). Well we chatted on, and after a couple of minutes, he said "Um, your hand is REALLY hot." And he did not mean sexy hot. Needless to say, I totally developed A Huge Thing about my hot hands and holding other peoples that exists even today.

spiraldawn

@Where Pies Go When They Die I was also the last to have a bra in 7th grade, but I probably needed one and so in gym class I always wore a sweatshirt so you couldn't tell? But then it was summer and hot, and finally I got a red/white striped sports bra that I wore every single day but that was embarassing too and while all the other girls changed normally, I became master of adding a second shirt before removing the first trick and now I still do it sometimes in front of my husband, and he's confused because really? Middle school gym class, SO FRAUGHT.

Judith Slutler

@Where Pies Go When They Die My only one of these stories is a second-hand Trauma-rama. While at Girl Scout sleep-away camp, one of my friends managed to get a tiny amount of period blood on her favorite jean shorts. Like, the spot was much smaller than a dime and hardly noticable.

She was devastated that she couldn't wear them any more until she got home, so we hatched a plan to just tell everybody that she sat in pine sap. "Needless to say" I spent the next week and a half running interference with her by loudly conversing with her about the PINE SAP! that she had tragically gotten on her shorts, and how everyone needed to watch out for PINE SAP! on the benches at camp, etc.

Naturally the effect was that we drew a ridiculous amount of attention to a teensy stain nobody would've noticed at all, but we felt super-smooth about our period stain spin doctoring tactics.

CrescentMelissa

I think these are completely charming but also have to be made up.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@CrescentMelissa If they are, whoever wrote them was severely lacking in the creativity department. "I found out I had put the dime in the wrong meter!" Oh no, you... um... had to spend TWO dimes?

atipofthehat

@CrescentMelissa

Don't tell the Awl. They're very literal and exacting and for some reason believe in journalism.

Verity

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me It was the 60s! A dime would feed a family for a week, I'll have you know.

Inkling

@CrescentMelissa
They're all definitely made up! Similar plotlines + same stories in different magazines + the heavy heavy female body shaming/heterosexuality emphasis. Obviously perioding everywhere is a huge embarrassment of that age group, but there are huge embarrassments in 100% of a young teen's life that don't have to do with boys and periods/(poop), and none of them were represented in these magazines.
The question is WHY, just WHY.
Do boys have embarrassing times to make them feel terrible about their wieners in their boy magazines, of COURSE not. If they did, something other than penises would be spray-painted on every dumpster in the world.

The Lady of Shalott

@Emmanuelle Cunt I had a horrible traumatic experience in Grade 8, when I was new to Period Control and I hadn't quite gotten the hang of it yet. And my period arrived, and as it was wont to due in those days, and it showed up with a VENGEANCE. There was so much blood. Unsurprisingly, it leaked because I was too embarrassed to ask my mom to buy me something more, um, sturdy than the ordinary Kotex without wings, because I had it in my head that only SLUTS needed super-absorbency.

Anyway, it bled all over my favourite jeans, and the most popular girl in my grade POINTED at me and said "Um, I think you've got something on your BUTT" and I looked at myself in horror and came up with the amazing lie of "NO I JUST SAT IN SOME PAINT IN THE ART ROOM."

nogreeneggs

@The Lady of Shalott I got my first period at school while my parents were out of the country and my grandma was watching us (discussing periods with my grandma = traumatizing by itself). I guess I went to a high school that didn't have any pads or tampons to spare since my grandma had to come bring me some. When I met her in the office she said super loud "I didn't know if you knew how to use tampons so I just brought you some pads!" My crush was probably right behind me.

BadWolf

@Where Pies Go When They Die I was the last, last girl in my class to start shaving her legs; my mom forbid me. I was mortified, and sure I would get horribly teased, and so, under my regulation floor-length skirt (Orthodox Jews), I wore tights. Every day. All of 7th grade. And no one ever noticed my hairy legs, but I was convinced, by summer vacation, that everyone had noticed how abysmal my beloved plaid Chucks smelled because of the constant nylon. The end?

That is the closest I can get to a really good YM moment, and I am so disappointed! Just this minute, though, I missed my mouth trying to drink coffee out of one of those insulated cups in the library, and poured espresso down my front. Was my face ever red!

tessamae

@Where Pies Go When They Die I am dying. This just made my day to share hand trauma-rama!! Another hand confession: my brother used to use that really potent Drysol deodorant for pitting out, and once after the "Um, your hand is REALLY hot" incident, I thought that maybe using that on my palms would stop them from being sweaty. So I applied and the next day I woke up and both of my palms were chalky white and flaky. My mom saw them at breakfast and freaked out and was about to call the doctor for my "rash" until I confessed what I did and she just looked at me with that blank "what have I raised?" mother-type look. She proceded to make me slather my hands with Vaseline and go to school. With the jar of course, to reapply as necessary.

TyrannosaurusWreck

@Where Pies Go When They Die Many to choose from but this sticks out: Sophomore year of high school I was riding my not-usual bus to my after school job when I heard a girl talking about me by name (so no chance of paranoid), about how I had like "these hairs on her chin that were really long" and "Pretty much facial hair." I was sitting low in my seat and she hadn't seen me but I sat up when I heard my name and she was all OH DAMN THERE SHE IS and said something lame like "But it's not her fault, genetics and all" to soften the blow. It was not softened. To this day I am SUPER conscious of any sneaky facial hairs.

everythingbagel

I sent in a letter to Trauma-rama when I was in middle or high school that never got published. For your (12 years belated) enjoyment:
I went on a winter retreat with some of my friends. One of the camp's evening activities was the see how many layers of clothing we could fit on one person. After the game, we carried armloads of our clothes back to the cabin. The next morning, on the way to breakfast in the mess hall, I noticed a pair of my underwear frozen in the snow! NEEDLESS TO SAY, I discreetly grabbed them and sprinted the rest of the way to the mess hall.

Side note, they were those day-of-the-week undies. If I recall, they had a red smiley face on them. Wednesday, maybe?

She was a retail whore

@everythingbagel Awww, that's actually really adorable.

Princess Gigglyfart

One time my son pulled my tampon string. I immediately thought of seventeen magazine.

I was walking around nakey after a shower, he was about three, and he just yanked it..... It didn't come out or anything, but I was pretty freaked out. I screamed and he got scared.

"But mommy, there is a string hangin out of your BUTT!"

I'm so glad my crush wasn't there.

MoxyCrimeFighter

@Princess Gigglyfart My mom once got a call from my brother's elementary school principal because he had taken some of her tampons to school, and he and a friend were running around the playground, twirling them above their heads like lassos. I might be making this up, but I think they were, like, super-jumbo tampons. Regardless, hilarious!

Faintly Macabre

@MoxyCrimeFighter I once went to a bar mitzvah party where all of the 13-year-olds collected tampons from god knows where and rolled them in marinara sauce, then ran around waving them at each other and shrieking. As a 14-year-old, I was quite shocked, as I'd been mature enough to merely sew together all of the powder room toiletries during my peers' parties.

you're a kitty!

@Princess Gigglyfart Your story is the best story.

Decca

@Where Pies Go When They Die Hahaha, "criiiiinge" is still a big catchphrase among my group of friends! Whenever any of us does something slightly dorky, that's the group reaction.

Ellie

@Where Pies Go When They Die I have incredibly sweaty hands too. (And feet) I was so embarrassed recently (last year . . . age 23) taking a pole dancing class because I couldn't hang onto the pole because my hands were so sweaty. Sometimes they drip on the keyboard. Like right now, it's so hot today. Ew.

mooseketeer

@Where Pies Go When They Die The whole setup of this story still makes me cringe and I never tell anyone about it. In 6th grade, my mom let me get a PERM. It was horrible and I was a small child who had no idea what to do with curly hair so I just brushed it and it was a giant poofy triangle. Sort of near the end of that school year we moved to a different state (later people said they remembered me as the new girl with bad hair). Whatever, bad perm is no biggie, but I did realize it looked pretty dumb so I got it all cut off the summer before 7th grade. Except it got all cut off into some kind of horrible mullet. So I go back to school where I don't know barely anyone, with BOY hair, as a super tall girl with zero breastesses. I was so self conscious I just started wearing tons of jewelry everywhere so people would recognize me as a girl. It was just a gym class though that I was some 100% androgynous gangly non-athletic person who other 7th graders felt it was ok to ask if I was a boy or a girl :(

punkrockparkinglot

I subscribed to YM, Seventeen, CosmoGirl, and Girl's Life when I was younger, so I have read SO MANY of these. Two two that stick in my mind are as follows:
A girl went to a party, and had to change her tampon. For some reason she didn't flush it down the toilet or throw it away, so she put it in her purse. She goes to get punch from the punch bowl, and somehow the used tampon falls out of her purse AND INTO THE PUNCH BOWL and blooms like a rose. I'm sure the girl dropped dead then and there (in front of her crush!)

The second was about a girl who wore a homemade crocheted bikini (WTF?)to the pool. She was sitting on the diving board, and proceeded to dive in the water, and somehow snagged her bottoms so they unraveled (in front of her crush!)

twigthewonderkid

@Where Pies Go When They Die
I actually created an account to make this comment because I grew up in the UK and hearing a reference to Bliss magazine on this website just made my day. I feel like the uk equivalent of "my crush" was often "lush lads" as in "...and then my knickers fell down, right in front of the LUSH LADS". Love it.

redheaded&crazy

oh my god i'm so glad i missed out on the bulk of this thread because i have so many and hopefully no one will read them but I HAVE TO SHARE THEM

okay #1: when I was in maybe grade 6-7 and therefore so, so naive, I thought that YM stood for "young miss" because that's what my mom had told me (maybe it was called that at one point? i dont even know) so anyways I went around calling it that and got laughed into outer space by people who were like "O.M.G. it's YOUNG and MODERN DUHHHHHHHHH"

redheaded&crazy

@redheaded&crazy once in grade six a girl i didn't know very well (new school) but was in my classes, or maybe she was a friend i don't know, came up to me to talk but then was like "oh my GOD your breath smells so BAD"

and then BROUGHT. THIS OTHER DUDE. OVER. WHO THEN ALSO WAS LIKE "oh my god"

can safely say this was a defining moment for the sad sad person i have become (i'm laughing as i type this i promise)

redheaded&crazy

@redheaded&crazy no but the worst has to be when my grade seven "boyfriend" (my FIRST "boyfriend"!) broke up with me after his dad had witnessed me pretending to pick up my dog's poop (terrible), called out to me to ask if I needed a bag (oh my god was my face red), and then I was like "no" and pretended to pick it up AGAIN and THEN

when the dude broke up with me he was like "did you do this thing?"

redheaded&crazy

@redheaded&crazy in other news, people pity me

redheaded&crazy

@redheaded&crazy don't even get me started on high school.

regina dentata

@redheaded&crazy re: the dog poop story, wait, what? i want to make sure i understand this! So your dog poops and you decide you're not going to pick it up, but you decide to PRETEND to pick it up to keep up appearances. Then you get caught by boyfriend's dad, but instead of taking the bag and actually picking it up you just pretend to pick it up again? With your hand? Someone help me.

redheaded&crazy

@regina dentata YEP! you've got it. just so we're clear i don't understand what was wrong with me either. and i now religiously pick up my dog's poop. even if, omg, the guy i'm crushing on is standing RIGHT. THERE.

Verity

@Where Pies Go When They Die That is an excellent question. I never saw any!

finky

You guys, I had the real life job of sorting through the embarrassing stories that girls sent in to Seventeen, and picking out the best ones. And then translating them into English, from txtspk. 8th grade dreams really do come true!

She was a retail whore

@finky What an awesome job. So they're real letters then?

Jen Alien-Spouse@twitter

@Where Pies Go When They Die - Hey there fellow Brit!

Most of my teenage embarrassments have faded over time, but the lacrosse class where I had forgotten my sports kit and had to wear clothes from lost property is classic. The only things I could find to wear were a tight tracksuit top and an enormous pair of tracksuit bottoms that had no elastic in the waist, so I carefully tucked the bottoms under the tops and ran out to the lacrosse pitch.

Of course we started by running round the edge of the pitch and, as I ran, the tracksuit bottoms gradually fell down and everyone laughed at me. I spent the rest of the lesson trying to play lacrosse one handed as I used my left hand to hold up the stupid tracksuit.

That happened in the winter, but sports lessons in the summer were also mortifying; Summer being the time of year when girls in my class suddenly wanted to stand next to me because my legs were (and are) so pale and I made their tans look better by comparison.

No wonder I was never very sporty.

383740544@twitter

You guys, I had the real life job of sorting through the embarrassing stories that girls sent in to Seventeen, and picking out the best ones. And then translating them into English, from txtspk. 8th grade dreams really do come true! paintings

383740544@twitter

i want to make sure i understand this! So your dog poops and you decide you're not going to pick it up, but you decide to PRETEND to pick it up to keep up appearances. Then you get caught by boyfriend's dad, but instead of taking the bag and actually picking it up you just pretend to pick it up again? With your hand? Someone help me. Unlock Pension here

383740544@twitter

oh my god i'm so glad i missed out on the bulk of this thread because i have so many and hopefully no one will read them but I HAVE TO SHARE THEM cheap stocks

383740544@twitter

They're very literal and exacting and for some reason believe in journalism. ormus supplement

383740544@twitter

The second was about a girl who wore a homemade crocheted bikini (WTF?)to the pool. She was sitting on the diving board, and proceeded to dive in the water, and somehow snagged her bottoms so they unraveled... Portland Hypnosis

383740544@twitter

I was walking around nakey after a shower, he was about three
funny team names

383740544@twitter

i'm crushing on is standing RIGHT. THERE. website

296248062@twitter

Excellent information on your blog, thank you for taking the time to share with us. Amazing insight you have on this, it's nice to find a website that details so much information about different artists. sbothai

383740544@twitter

oh my god i'm so glad i missed out on the bulk of this thread because i have so many and hopefully no one will read them but I HAVE TO SHARE THEM micro jobs

383740544@twitter

I've just decided to create a blog, which I have been wanting to do for a while. Thanks for this post, it's really useful! Buy Windows 8 Professional Key

383740544@twitter

i want to make sure i understand this! So your dog poops and you decide you're not going to pick it up, but you decide to PRETEND to pick it up to keep up appearances. Then you get caught by boyfriend's dad, but instead of taking the bag and actually picking it up you just pretend to pick it up again? With your hand? Someone help me. family board games

383740544@twitter

This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I love seeing websites that understand the value of providing a quality resource for free. It is the old what goes around comes around routine Farming(0)

383740544@twitter

IM JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT JUICE. my friends all laugh at me when i say i'm juicing. but they just don't understand. lose weight fast

296248062@twitter

Excellent information on your blog, thank you for taking the time to share with us. Amazing insight you have on this, it's nice to find a website that details so much information about different artists Mitragyna Speciosa

296248062@twitter

Nice to be visiting your blog again, it has been months for me. Well this article that i've been waited for so long. I need this article to complete my assignment in the college, and it has same topic with your article. Thanks, great share. Internetbureau Limburg

383740544@twitter

It sounds like you can imagine life outside grad school, which is kind of a huge psychological barrier already to have overcome. Give it some serious thought, and ask yourself who you're trying to please by finishing your degree Real Alternative News

383740544@twitter

Filled with people who are probably very little like you and are by t passive-aggressive how to get rid of cellulite on thighs naturally

296248062@twitter

Thank you so much Love your blog.. Make Money

Don Bhai@facebook

It is imperative that we read blog post very carefully. I am already done it and find that this post is really amazing dress shoes with navy suit

bill.marks

but it should have been. Because, Joel, for real. Every character on that show has aspects of their personality that grate, or occasionally does something that makes me want to rip their reviews on garcinia cambogia

jimmyrapper

Where Pies Go When They Die I was the last, last girl in my class to start shaving her legs; my mom forbid me. I was mortified, and sure I would get horribly teased, and so, under my regulation floor-length skirt (Orthodox Jews) anlæg af have

bill.marks

By my senior year, I was the captain of my high school team and I went on to fence in college. I went from not having the confidence to finish try-outs to leading my team. I am so thankful that I played sports because I learned that I can be a good teammate and leader. vippejä

jimmyrapper

Alexander I just hurt myself trying to keep my laughter in, because I am at work. Oh my god, so funny! lion air

jimmyrapper

Alexander I just hurt myself trying to keep my laughter in, because I am at work. Oh my god, so funny! landscaping morgantown wv

mans

Alexander I just hurt myself trying to keep my laughter in, because I am at work. Oh my god, so funny what does bubblegum casting do

jack89

Men do very well know how dangerous it is to look upon a naked bosom, and your vain and light women are sensible how advantageous it is to them to show it. Gatwick Airport Parking

pakistan123

Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964. Check this site

blackwater0002@gmail.com

their mortifying stories? Like that one (or 100) about how a girl AND her prom date decided to wear all white and as she sat on his lap gett amazing torrent

jimmyrapper

They also put out collections of the stories that were in this magazine in book form. I had several volumes that must have been my aunt's. They were usually stories of girl nurses, girl teachers, etc. I remember one in particular about a girl who played the harp, and how much fun people made of her because she was so intense about playing the harp. Her roommate painted her nails only to have it chip off when she practiced, and said the harp was ruining her life! But the harp WAS HER LIIIFE. Then she played it for the school and they were transfixed by harp music and she became popular. I am sure that happened. buy high pr blog comments

Edmon

A person necessarily assist to make severely posts I would state. This is the first time I frequented your web page and up to now? I surprised with the analysis you made to create this actual put up incredible. Wonderful task! vigrx coupon code

blackwater0002@gmail.com

multiple times until the first number has been reached, then wait for the next LED flash, once all the digits are entered the UC checks for the proper code and opens the door and the code can be changed by pressing a button on the circuit board. It was measured 34V which is right at the top of my acceptable input voltage for the LM7805 regulator. Free Xbox Live

blackwater0002@gmail.com

seems to have been aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: Tenant Background Screening

Edmon

Very excellent visual appeal on this website vigrx coupon code

samad

Those who resisted being frog marched to Pfupajena stadium were beaten up, some in full view of the police who turned a blind eye to the orgy of violence that visited the town.dorslim

david51235

Those who resisted being frog marched to Pfupajena stadium were beaten up, some in full view of the police who turned a blind eye to the orgy of violence that visited the town. ross talarico

bill.marks

Detailed metadata also improves searchability. Users can search for content by product, type or other criteria through a simplified user interface. Unique Blog Comments

samad

but the worst has to be when my grade seven "boyfriend" (my FIRST "boyfriend"!) broke up with me after his dad had witnessed me pretending to pick up my dog's poop (terrible), called out to me to ask if I needed how can you be more attractive to guys

anmanblack

I love seeing websites that understand the value of providing a quality resource for free. Targeted Traffic

danialkhatri

seems to have been aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.allphlebotomytraining.org - Find the best schools

danialkhatri

but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.Samuel Moreno

anmanblack

but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what Darren Harris

danialkhatri

seems to have been aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: " rubbish clearance london

danialkhatri

Well, Calling All Girls – a magazine I recently found a single copy of at an antiques mall — seems to have been aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.using social media

anmanblack

Well, Calling All Girls – a magazine I recently found a single copy of at an antiques mall — seems to have been aimed The Antique Wine Company

anmanblack

Well, Calling All Girls – a magazine I recently found a single copy of at an antiques mall — seems to have been aimed The Hub Disney Login

danialkhatri

Keep it cool, baby." she was asking if she should stay with him any more because of his odd behavior and because Shaft never said I love you. And basically the magazine was like "This is the coolest thing we've ever heard of and yes you're going to have to stay with someone that extraordinary."21 Day Fix

danialkhatri

All Girls – a magazine I recently found a single copy of at an antiques mall — seems to have been aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column:in order to keep reading

micheljhon

I'm positive that years of reading Say Anything--and Seventeen's "Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants. Or khakis.

Actually, I can't believe I ever leave the house.Gmail Login

danialkhatri

seems to have been aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.Loft Conversions London

usikhan58@gmail.com

aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.Loft Conversions London how to grow your penis without pills

micheljhon

aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!"21dayfix

Alexmen

Back in junior high, my best friend and I would sometimes describe our school dramas in Trauma-rama form, and the end always had to include the phrase "needless to say...," as in "Needless to say, I could never sit next to him in science class ever again!" good nose job

danialkhatri

Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.Mercedes Benz servicing

micheljhon

Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.Brad Reifler

Alexmen

aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.Loft Conversions London here at his account

micheljhon

aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.Loft Conversions LondonBrian Torchin

jack13

I'm positive that years of reading Say Anything--and Seventeen's "Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants. Or khakis. Reshel Spewter Legal Counsel

Alexmen

Anything--and Seventeen's "Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants. Or khakis....Dale Buczkowski

usikhan58@gmail.com

sitive that years of reading Say Anything--and Seventeen's "Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants single dating

usikhan58@gmail.com

hat years of reading Say Anything--and Seventeen's "Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pa RDSL rental

micheljhon

hat years of reading Say Anything--and Seventeen's "Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pacompared to other accounts

jack13

The ones that always freaked me out before my actual period years were the ones about a tampon falling out while you were jumping on a trampoline. My family had a trampoline and I was so worried this would happen to me. One day I'll be able to tell my pre-pubescent daughters not to worry because this has never happened to anybody ever. Porter Stansberry

aarij

I'm positive that years of reading Say Anything--and Seventeen's "Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants. consult-soft

jack13

Trauma-rama would be about the time she wrote to a magazine that told her to stay with a boyfriend who only spoke in Shaft quotes. And the green grass grows all around all around, and the green grass grows all around. after they posted that

aarij

before my actual period years were the ones about a tampon falling out while you were jumping on a trampoline. My family had a trampoline and I was so worried this would happen to me. cod advanced warfare hack

wellm2890

Trauma-rama would be about the time she wrote to a magazine that told her to stay with a boyfriend who only spoke in Shaft quotes. And the green grass grows all around all around, and the green grass grows backlinks seo service

usikhan58@gmail.com

ma-rama would be about the time she wrote to a magazine that told her to stay wit l around all around, and the Buy My House

micheljhon

ma-rama would be about the time she wrote to a magazine that told her to stay wit l around all aroundcrunchbase

jack13

I have just came to know about this. This is such a supreme technical help. As I can see the others post, can see some effective info also. ninja blender 1000 review

usikhan58@gmail.com

ow about this. This is such a supreme technical help. As I can see the others post, can some effective info also. ninja blender 1000 review
Posted on July 20, 2014 at Download Free PDF Files

danialkhatri

"This is the coolest thing we've ever heard of and yes you're going to have to stay with someone that extraordinary."WSJ Real Estate

danialkhatri

"This is the coolest thing we've ever heard of and yes you're going to have to stay with someone that extraordinary."Marc Sparks

danialkhatri

"This is the coolest thing we've ever heard of and yes you're going to have to stay with someone that extraordinary."unlike other realtors

micheljhon

This is the coolest thing we've ever heard of and yes you're going to have to stay with someone that extraordinary."Chase Auto Login

micheljhon

This is the coolest thing we've ever heard of and yes you're going to have to stay with someone that extraordinary."
gingersnap jewelry

micheljhon

This is the coolest thing we've ever heard of and yes you're going to have to stay with someone that extraordinary."
Accurint Login

jack13

Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants. Or khakis. BioLife Login

usikhan58@gmail.com

a"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pa crecimientord

coman

VigRX Plus is a very complete product. Even if we would have liked to purchase this product to a lower price than the current one, we must admit that this is a normal price, considering its qualities.
plombier paris 11 eme

coman

she wrote to a magazine that told her to stay with a boyfriend who only spoke. tabla acoperis

micheljhon

she wrote to a magazine that told her to stay with a boyfriend who only spoke.
FNB Login

jack13

Even if we would have liked to purchase this product to a lower price than the current one, we must admit that this is a normal price, considering its qualities. garcinia cambogia

micheljhon

a lower price than the current one, we must admit that this is a normal price, considering its qualities
Mac Mail Login

anmanblack

a lower price than the current one, we must admit that this is a normal price, considering its qualities...The Antique Wine Company

jack13

The ones that always freaked me out before my actual period years were the ones about a tampon falling out while you were jumping on a trampoline. My family had a trampoline and I was so worried this would happen to me. One day I'll be able to tell my pre-pubescent daughters not to worry because this has never happened to anybody ever......... garcinia cambogia extract

aarij

Even if we would have liked to purchase this product to a lower price than the current one, we must admit that this is a normal price. debt relief

danialkhatri

My family had a trampoline and I was so worried this would happen to me. One day I'll be able to tell my pre-pubescent daughters not to worry because this has never happened to anybody ever......to keep reading

micheljhon

I'll be able to tell my pre-pubescent daughters not to worry because this has never happened to anybody everr..
get a girl to be your girlfriend

blackwater0002@gmail.com

been aimed at a preteen audience, but even preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964. consult sites

blackwater0002@gmail.com

preteens get into some embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964. Palm Harbor Real Estate

jack13

I'll be able to tell my pre-pubescent daughters not to worry because this has never happened to anybody everr.. BRL Trust

micheljhon

I'll be able to tell my pre-pubescent daughters not to worry because this has never happened to anybody everr..
Xbox Live Login

danialkhatri

From there the next level is to provide innovative products supported by experienced people who can provide an "exceptional customer experience."SEC

jack13

that years of reading Say Anything--and Seventeen's "Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants. Or khakis. BuscaFundos

js7277232@gmail.com

-is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants. Or khaki
APUS Login

micheljhon

s the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants. Or khaki...
meth clean up

micheljhon

the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and never wearing white pants. Or khaki.....
something others have found

jack13

g?" Because apparently, the string of her tampon was hanging down below her bathing suit so everyone could see. This was not only terrifying but also completely misled me as to the length of the average tampon string, which I imagined for years as being approximately 1 foot long.

Also, I realize in retrospect that story was entirely made-up. FreedomPop review

micheljhon

athing suit so everyone could see. This was not only terrifying but also completely misled me as to the length of the average tampon string, which I imagined for years as being approximately 1 foot long...
Skin Care

jack13

I have a vivid memory of reading about a girl who went to the pool when she was on her period, and when she walked by a lifeguard she had a crush on, he said, "Hey, Chatty Cathy, will you talk if I pull your string?" Because apparently, the string of her tampon was hanging down below her bathing suit so everyone could see Lipitor Lawsuit Diabetes

jack13

Hey, Chatty Cathy, will you talk if I pull your string?" Because apparently, the string of her tampon was hanging down below her bathing suit so everyone could see. This was not only terrifying but also completely misled me as to the length of the average tampon string, which I imagined for years as being approximately 1 foot long. Andrew Heiberger

micheljhon

" Because apparently, the string of her tampon was hanging down below her bathing suitt..
youtube

blackwater0002@gmail.com

reading Say Anything--and Seventeen's "Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and ne garcinia cambogia reviews

micheljhon

Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and...
highrise window cleaning

micheljhon

Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and...
canberra residential carpet cleaners

anmanblack

Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and.....panel beaters perth

micheljhon

Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and...
carpet cleaners canberra

micheljhon

Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and...
carpet cleaners canberra

micheljhon

Trauma-rama"!--is the reason I'm vigilant about always having pads and tampons and..
iPad Air Charger

jack13

Related-I once found my mom's panty liners and thought they were "thinner pads" and wore them under pants on a heavy flow day to my jr. high dance. The stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance). True story that YM wouldn't have to make up! take a look on rebel mouse

anmanblack

Related-I once found my mom's panty liners and thought they were "thinner pads" and wore them under pants...UTA Blackboard Login

jack13

found my mom's panty liners and thought they were "thinner pads" and wore them under pants on a heavy flow day to my jr. high dance. The stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance). True story that YM wouldn't have to make up! Commerce Bank Login

micheljhon

ound my mom's panty liners and thought they were "thinner pads" and wore them under pants on a heavy flow day to my jr. high dance. The stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance). True story that YM wouldn't have to make up..
compensation

micheljhon

und my mom's panty liners and thought they were "thinner pads" and wore them under pants on a heavy flow day to my jr. high dance. The stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance). True story that YM wouldn't have to make up...
male breast

jack13

. The stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance). True story that YM wouldn't have to make up... Availity Login

coman

Și, de asemenea, rapida. Amintiți-vă să va luati timp pentru că va trebui să stati la coadă. Prețul pentru o călătorie dus-intors costa undeva in jur de 15 de euro.
ghid turism

aarij

The stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance). cheap malaysian hair

micheljhon

pentru că va trebui să stati la coadă. Prețul pentru o călătorie dus-intors costa undeva in jur de 15 de euro...
Rebtel Login

samad

embarrassing situations in a similar column: "Was My Face Red!" Let's see what 12 year-olds were freaking out about in 1964.Among top 5 Bots!

anmanblack

pentru că va trebui să stati la coadă. Prețul pentru o călătorie dus-intors costa undeva in jur de 15 de euro...Brian Torchin

jack13

rapida. Amintiți-vă să va luati timp pentru că va trebui să stati la coadă. Prețul pentru o călătorie dus-intors costa undeva in jur de 15 de euro. Ben Shaoul

micheljhon

rapida. Amintiți-vă să va luati timp pentru că va trebui să stati la coadă. Prețul pentru o călătorie dus-intors costa undeva in jur de 15 de euro...
dụng cụ trang điểm

aarij

The stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance). Free PDF Ebooks

micheljhon

he stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance)..
TCF Login

Alexmen

The stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance...
The stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance

micheljhon

he stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance.....
high pr blog comment service

jack13

stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance..... dofollow best backlink service

micheljhon

stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance..
backlink service top gigs on fiverr

micheljhon

stains happened but thankfully I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance....
backlink service

anmanblack

I was wearing camo pants and they weren't noticeable (don't question why I was wearing camo pants to a dance....petsafe stubborn dog fence wire

Post a Comment

You must be logged-in to post a comment.

Login To Your Account