Wednesday, March 7, 2012


The New D-word

If I were given the opportunity to interview these folks, my only question would be "Why are you creeping me out?" but Rich Juzwiak is a kinder and more curious person, so he got to learn things like, "The D-O-L-L word is never said amongst Cabbage Patch Kids."

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My brow has been thoroughly furrowed by this.


Being a Brony has just become too mainstream for me these days, Thats why I formed Cabbage Patch Dudes. I'm CBD for life!!!@t


Uuuuugh. WHY can't I work in a private office where I can watch videos all day. Faking work in a cubical is such hard work.


There is not an appropriate emoticon for how I feel about this?

Maybe :? would work?

wasabi peas

I can think of at least one woman who's feeling pretty smug about her decision to spend the extra money for a "reborn" doll.


I gotta admit... there is a teensy tinesy part of me that wishes I still had the ability to lose myself in imagination to that degree.


I admire their imaginations, but eeeuuughhh my skin is crawling. Dolls of any sort FREAK me out, and Cabbage Patch are the worst.
Yeah. eeeuuughhh sums it up best.


@The Kendragon I am fine with most dolls, but holy shit, that one with the HUGE EYES in the video? WHAT WHY NO NO NO GET IT AWAYYYYY


My grandmother had a room full of creepy super realistic china dolls that I always had to sleep in, with my little sister who is even more skeeved out by them than I am. We would but tissues over every single one of their faces before we could fall asleep.


"With dozens of official Cabbage Patch collectors clubs across the country ..."



I mean, "ha ha" and "wtf" and everything, but these people have some sort of mental illness, right?


@Decca I agree. But also, I'm glad they have each other? Something about someone for everyone and everyone needs friends.


@Decca seriously that is the best comment ever. <3 <3 <3

I'm Right on Top of that, Rose

Christ, even those Cabbage Patch Kids seem to looking at the cameras with "Dear god, help me!" stares. I think one of them even blinked SOS.


"Let me offer up a little tip. Your Winklebottom is facing southeast. Technically he should face north."

"Wonderful! Why?"

"Well, that's where they're more apt to find tree moss, which is how they make their delicious gnome tea."


"Garden Gnome Fact # 28: At night, garden gnomes are quite lively, but they turn to stone the second daylight hits them."

"I love it! Hey, maybe tonight we should leave out a snack plate for old Winklebottom. Perhaps a fruit pie?"

"No, Bobby. Winklebottom would like mushrooms and dandelions and a thimbleful of peppermint schnapps."


"I need a gnome. Not just any gnome, a Winklebottom."

"A Winklebottom? Why not just ask me to move a rainbow?"

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or just weird."


They were on Anderson today and gave him a Cabbage Patch Anderson Cooper. It was the best/worst.


Why ... everything. But if I could narrow it down, I'd want to ask why some of those dolls, sorry, kids, don't look like proper ones (are they homemade?). I'm also wondering why I find it much stranger for a man to be so into CPKs than for a woman. What a gender-discussion minefield.


@GoCeilings I feel like they may be older ones?


@GoCeilings mmm, I think they're homemade. I had a friend in first grade whose mother made her a homemade Cabbage Patch doll because (a) she was an excellent seamstress, and (b) they were wicked expensive at the time, and it looked just like the slightly-wonky-looking dolls in that video.


@GoCeilings I didn't find myself any less weirded-out by the women, frankly. In fact more so, because my first thought was, "Oh, they're retired grandparents and they built this thing for their grandchildren" -- and then when that woman stepped out of the van with... with the... there were no children...


Ohhh Cabbage Patch Dolls are the worst. I remember being given one from Santa when I was little and freaking out... my god some of those d-o-l-l-s look like they could shoot laserbeams from their eyes...


Yes, this is obviously a bit nuts, but they seem remarkably self-aware in that interview. Normally in these instances we see people who truly believe the object is their child or something, and consider it and treat it just as if it were alive. They don't seem as far gone as that, when you read things like You speak through Kevin. Is that therapeutic?
Joe: It’s just a fun thing to do! And I like seeing people’s reactions.

or Do you love Kevin?
Pat: You can use that word as far as where you draw the line at loving an inanimate object. I love Kevin as much as somebody who has a Picasso loves their Picasso, or as much as someone loves their coin collection or their car. It’s all in how you use the word “love.”


@TheRobyn Now I'm confused. Those answers are so sensible and yet such a commitment to the dolls having playdates and all that seems like there must be some mental illness going on, as Decca mentioned.

And how creepy is that slow moving swing?


@MeghanElizabeth Well, it's weird, certainly, but I don't feel like it's that much weirder than, say, role-playing games. I mean, it's a pretty similar type of behavior: here is my imaginary person, represented by some pieces of paper and a little pewter figure, and once a week I get her together with some other imaginary people and they go on an adventure, and I will plan my whole weekend around making sure my imaginary person can make it to her appointment with the other imaginary people.

(Although I haven't watched the video, just read the interview part. If there is something way, way weirder in the video then I retract my statement.)


Ugh... Why is Rich not my BFF already?!


ugh. while watching this I wanted nothng more than for some *actual* kids to come in and ruin their creepy dolly playdate with, you know, their inconvenient mobility and personalities and aliveness. I think people love dolls because it allows them to play the baby fantasy (the fantasy of completely controlling another person in a socially acceptable way) without the inconveniences of actual babies' physical and psychological needs. And that attitude creeps me out.


AAAH WHAT THE FUCK!!! FUCKING AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I couldn't even make it through the whole thing!


I just watched the video and I don't see what the big creepy weird fuss is all about? Like Elsajeni said, it's not any weirder than, say, D&D games or Second Life.

I say this as someone who made most of my friends in a new city through a BJD collector's group - and yes, we would get together and take pictures of our dolls. (No dolly amusement parks - mostly, they sat on the table - and we didn't speak through them, but there were plot lines and friendships, like a combo role playing game/dolly tea party. Before you ask, yes, we were all productive members of society, mostly students and young professionals.)

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