The Comment Section for Every Article Ever Written About PETA

1. This advertising campaign is offensive to women.

2. Clearly you have not read “The Sexual Politics of Meat.” Here are four paragraphs from it.

3. Women are not animals and dairy farming is not rape.

4. Um, obviously women are animals. We’re all animals.

5. METACOGNITION! Intellect. Patterns. The pyramids.

6. Cameron Diaz’s niece is dumber than a pig, says Cameron Diaz!

7. Bacon is yum. I eat bacon whenever I see a vegetarian post on a message board. Sometimes I make myself throw up so I can eat the bacon twice.

8. Bacon is the Holocaust. Isaac Bashevis Singer quotation.

9. Israel perpetrates its own Holocaust daily against the Palestinians.

10. Shut up, 9!

11. Dumb joke about plants having feelings too!

12. Take joke seriously, defend angrily!

13. Did you see the Ingrid Newkirk documentary? She wants to be turned into an umbrella after she dies.

14. PETA steals animals and euthanizes them.

15. My pet is happy being enslaved by me.

16. Vegan cats are unhealthy.

17. My vegan cat loves her vegan food and would otherwise be dead in a shelter and beingness is better than not-being.

18. Your vegan cat is miserable.

19. I’m a vegan but feed my cat grassfed organic beef while I dumpster dive.

20. We all agree factory farming is wrong.

21. No one admits to ever buying factory farmed meat and eggs, and 94% of us obviously live in Brooklyn and work in publishing for $25K a year.

22. I buy meat for my health, because protein. Because B vitamins.

23. YOU DON’T NEED TO EAT MEAT TO BE HEALTHY. Just add algae to your lentils and rice.

24. What are your canine teeth for, then?

25. You have the intestine of an herbivore!

26. THE MAORI EAT ONLY BLOOD. AND THE ESKIMOS ATE ONLY BLUBBER AND THEY NOW HAVE DIABETES BECAUSE OF GRAIN.

27. THE WORD IS INUIT AND ALSO THE OKINAWANS LIVE FOREVER.

28. Read “Diet for a Small Planet” and “Eating Animals” and “Animal Liberation”!

29. Peter Singer is ableist and hates babies.

30. What about the fetuses? What’s the difference between infanticide and abortion?

31. SHUT UP, 28!

32. I prefer Michael Pollan. Clearly you have never heard “Eat food, not too much, mostly kale.”

33. Pollan is loaded with rich privilege and is a total jag. I live on top of one bodega and under a second bodega and can eat only Fritos.

34. All vegans are rich.

35. INDIA! And we can feed the world with not-eating meat!

36. Meat eaters are fat.

37. SO MANY FAT VEGANS.

38. Since when do we talk about fat people like this on this website?

39. Soy is the worst! Soy kills and is an environmental disaster! And meat substitutes are disgusting.

40. No, dairy substitutes are more disgusting.

41. Daiya is okay.

42. Yeah, daiya is all right.

43. I care more about people.

44. You can care about many things at once.

45. Michael Vick killed dogs but everyone else in the NFL kills their wives and no one cares.

46. This thread has been closed for review by a moderator.

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