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Jordan Roberts, What’s Actually in Your Handbag Right Now?

Men: so strong and mysterious. They’re always going into and out of buildings, riding bikes, taking meetings, and eating pizza standing up — but what do they carry along with them? Jordan Roberts, a.k.a. commenter whizz_dumb, boldly goes where no man has gone before, which is to the depths of his daily backpack, so we might be enlightened, Pulp Fiction-style, about its glowing interiors. “Hahaha almost a man purse, never a bro bag?” he says. “I just made that up, bear with me…” We will, Jordan.

Items dumped from the juvenile-for-my-age Jansport backpack:

1. MP3 player & case, old-ass earbuds/headphones.

2. Phone charger.


3. Checkbook.

4. Doctor’s office “final notice” bill.

5. Electrical tape.

6. Business cards.

7. Fancy notebook.

8. Easy reading fiction.

9. Difficult reading magazine.

10. Pen, pencil, marker.

11. Traveling corkscrew.

12. Nail clippers.

13. Flash/thumb drive.

14. Batteries.

15. Sunglasses.

16. Eyeglasses case with accessories (inside).

17. Emergency radio.

18. Breath mints.

19. Daytime cold meds.

20. Memory card.

21. Special toothpicks.

22. Gum.

23. Old lip balm.

24. Something to eat if I’m starving okay fine, ENERGY BAR.

Jordan Roberts, nice travel corkscrew.


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