Me: I'd like the beer I had the last time I was here.
Bartender: we have a lot of beer on tap here.
Me: It was different, you know?
Bartender: Different how?
Me: It tasted like cherries.
Bartender: A sweet flavor?
Me: No, sour cherry flavor. Yeah, bitter. Uh, hopsy.
Bartender: Do you know what hopsy means?
Me: Yeah ... hopsy is ... hopsy.
Bartender: Let me give you one to taste, this is [unrecognizable German-sounding beer name].
Me: Hmmm, nope.
Bartender: ... Do you like it?
Me: Yeah, it's fine. I just really want the sour cherry beer.
Bartender: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Me: It's okay. I'll just have a Blue Moon.
Camille Santochi is a reality television producer from Los Angeles. You can follow her on Twitter @omitofo or see where her cover band is playing next here.
... kriek?
If not, I am super excited that there is other cherry beer.
@Lucienne that's what I was thinking.
@ginalouise It could also be Duchesse de Bourgogne, which if you have not tried and you like sour cherry, I recommend wholeheartedly.
@Lucienne This reminds me, I have a Cantillon Kriek I need to drink, like, this second.
@HillsideHoyden I do like the Duchesse! Though, as far as sour beers go, my favorite is Consecration from Russian River.
@Lucienne @ginalouise @hillsideHoyden I LOVE Duchesse!! Flemish sour ales are the BEST. Also try a Monk's. Mmmmmm....
@bonchance: w00t, sours are what got me to like beer in the first place.
@Lucienne I thought maybe Rodenbach*, though that's not so much a cherry sour as it is just a sour but I haven't had it in a while so possibley I'm misremembering flavors.
*Which I only discovered relatively recently and am now obsessed with, which is unfortunate as it is a)not terribly common and b)not inexpensive.
@ginalouise Oh lord, anything from Russian River Brewing Company.
This is why, even though I love beer, I can only name, like, 3 that I like. And they're all the same local brewery. When I move away, I'm screwed.
@teffodee I make one of my friends pick my beer for me. No joke. If there isn't a beer with a funny name on the menu (my standard way of choosing), I give him the menu and say, "Tell me what I'm drinking."
Pshhh, this bartender sounds like a dick. The best bartenders I know will remember my name and my drink even if I only show up to their bar once a month. And if they don't they'd at least try to be helpful and figure out the right beer, not be all "do you even know what hopsy means"? I do not like him, Sam-I-Am.
@paddlepickle Wait, bartenders are supposed to not be dicks?
@paddlepickle Isn't it "hoppy" anyway?
@melmuu It's in their interest! There was this one guy who always remembered my name, and my drink, AND was super hot and figured out that if he grinned impishly and touched my arm when he handed my my tab I would tip him about 800%.
@paddlepickle I appreciate the occasional friendly bartender as much as you, but if they all started being like genuinely nice, and helpful? I think I'd feel untethered and terrified.
@melmuu Really? Where do you live? I feel like the vast majority of bartenders I meet are of the nice and helpful variety.
@paddlepickle San Francisco. It's not that they're mean. It's just that they are required by law to be cool (overly friendly is not cool) :)
@melmuu Weird, I would think the bartenders in San Fran would be nicer than the ones in Brooklyn. Friendliness must be the new weird Brooklyn hipster thing.
@paddlepickle I do have to admit, my favorite bartender is the one who somehow remembers me even though I only go to his spot once every few months, and when he says "Good to see you again," I pretty much want to say, "I love you, let's get married, here are some extra dollars." It doesn't hurt that he's beautiful. (So anyway, yes your theory works.)
@paddlepickle My favorite bartender knows everyone's name after the first time they visit. We all liked him so much my friends and I instituted a weekly happy hour at his bar and always tipped insanely. We obviously weren't the only ones. He retired this year... he's like 28.
Lesson of the story: don't be TOO nice to your bartender.
@melmuu Haha, exactly. Last weekend the bf and I were out of town and went to a bar we've never been to before. It had a pool table! And that new Sam Adams on draft! Yay! But anyway, he had a $5 bill and I had some change in the bottom of my purse - that's all we had between us cash-wise. So, we decided to change the $5 for quarters for the pool table, and then just run a tab for the drinks and use a debit card later.
So anyhoo we get our quarters from the bartender, grab our drinks, and head to the back of the bar. BF racks the balls and breaks, and ALL THE BALLS FREAKING ROLL OVER TO ONE SIDE. The table is completely off-balance. And that smug fucker bartender never said a word. I was so pissed! I wanted to get the money back (it was a buck per game) but the bf is mellow and just hit the balls around for fun, like NBD.
Well, I wasn't going to pour any more cash into that shit-hole, so we decided to leave. We hadn't paid for our drinks yet, because douchy-yet-stupid bartender didn't take our card when we ordered. Soooo I took the leftover quarters and the handful of change, lint, wrappers, and random sludge from the bottom of my purse and left it on the bar for him to sort through. So thank you, dick bartender! I was looking for a reason to clean out the bottom of my purse NEENER NEENER.
End threadjack/rant/etc.
@melmuu The Cinch on Polk St. has one of the nicest bartenders I have ever dealt with. He remembers folks, is always friendly, makes amazing bloody marys, and once even gave me the arm warmers off his arms because he swore they went better with my outfit. I love him. Go catch a drag show and have a phenomenal bloody mary served by a sweet AND cool bartender.
@no way Go with me! I live just a couple blocks up the hill from there. I went once, and I like the big back deck-ish area.
@melmuu It totally depends on the bar! My knitgroup goes to Churchill on the odd Saturday or Sunday afternoon and the bartenders are superduper nice and friendly. Though the fact that we are polite, good looking, hard drinking, great tippers might have something to do with how much they love us. Also, sometimes we give them cookies.
@melmuu Ok! Wanna take the discussion off the comments? I just posted to the sf meetup thread. You can reply straight to me there and we can set something up. Hooray! I love that bartender.
@paddlepickle Hmm, the pinup thing was confusing! Are you on fb? I'm melissa chandler on there, and my photo is of an anotomical heart...find me and keep me posted re: pinups?
I am married to a total beer snob and I kill him, because whenever we are out: Choice #1 is Schell's Pilsner, Choice #2 is Newcastle, and #3 is Miller High Life. (It is the Champagne of Beers!)
@SuperMargie There's nothing better than a Newcastle on a hot summer day. Except maybe a margarita.
@SuperMargie That's me! I like microbrews at home, but at a bar? I'm a Bud Light girl all the way.
@SuperMargie I would like to introduce you to the beer cocktail, wherein you pour a Miller High Life over a substantial amount of ice, and then squeeze a wedge of grapefruit into it. My roommate and I (both lightweights) would split a beer like this on a hot summer's day, and it is glorious and perfect in every way.
@aphrabean Ahhh that sounds good! I might have to try this tonight as a remedy for the winter blues I've been going through the last couple days.
@aphrabean Fascinating. The Hairpin is full of recipes for me to try this week.
@aphrabean It's like a Shandy variation! (not a leinenkugel Shandy, because Ew.) I will be trying this come August. Also, try a Stiegel Radler if you can find it. Lemony deliciousness with less than 3% ABV.
@LornaLoo Woah. http://drinks.seriouseats.com/2012/03/new-beer-stiegl-grapefruit-radler-bottled-shandy.html
This found me, not the other way around.
@klaus My brother put a lime in a Newcastle once and it actually tasted pretty great. Kinda negro modelo-y.
Bluepoint makes an excellent Sour Cherry Imperial.
I've had this same conversation, though, except I could only remember that the beer was called something like "Rhino Wizard 3000" and was a special anniversary beer that had been on the list 3 months ago. And the guy remembered it! I can't remember what it is again, though, which is fine because it was apparently a one time production.
Looking at the bar's website now, they have a Tuesday "Beermergency" where half of their drafts are $3. I <3 Meridian Pint.
@Vicky Johnson: WHAT. WHAT. I HAD NO IDEA. I think I know what I'm doing on Tuesday evenings from now until forever.
@ietapi Details: http://meridianpint.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/BeerEmergency5001.jpg
On the off chance you haven't been there before, go hungry because the food is fantastic.
@Vicky Johnson: Eeeexcellent. I've only been there for beer so far, but will def check out the food next time.
I always seem to order a vodka and tonic when what I really wanted was a vodka and soda. And then I'll drink it and be like, why is there no gin in this? Damn it! I did it again! I need to drink in public more so I can get a bartender who will remember and correct me.
Last time I went to a bar it was a fancy beer place that changes beers all the time and I just said "Give me a brown one." I should have said "Give me something that is less than 7 percent alcohol please." Ugh my head.
I often ask for "the cheapest lager you have!" Some of them think it's funny, but others HATE me. Pff. Bartenders.
"Gimme drunk now thx"
I love "flavored" beers...I had a strawberry one once that I was skeptical about (I don't like really sweet things), but it was just such a faint hint of strawberry that it was so delightful. I also adore pumpkin beer.
(For any Chicagoans, The Bad Apple has an amazing beer list!)
@olivebee Agreed, hats off to the Bad Apple! I would also suggest The Local Option for beer, and they won't treat you like the bar tender above. Their menu changes very quickly and often, but the barkeeps are good at treating women like actual beer drinkers/lovers, which I have always appreciated there. Just tell them what you're into, and they will give you tastes, and keep the beer flowing. It's not cheap, but the experience and availability of rare product is worth it.
Also they have Big Buck Hunter, which we all know is the pinacle of bar games of skill.
@LornaLoo YES Big Buck Hunter. The angels wept when Big Buck Hunter was replaced with some lame racing game at my local watering hole.
@reebs14 It's truly the best. I can play pool and darts very well, but there's something about the soft glow of virtual animal slaying that just makes me a slave to any decent bar with a console. I'm lucky that my favorite bar is nearby and has all the wonderful things I need in life: Good service, reasonable food, good (non college!) clientele, fantastic beer, and Big Buck Hunter.
@LornaLoo There may be a photo of me brandishing that plastic shotgun with glee in a semi-formal dress (I think after my grandma's wake? I live in that kind of town).
@reebs14 Until just now I only had one detail figured out for my memorial service, which was that at the end of actual civilized behavior (speeches, i guess?) the ending theme from Saturday Night Live would play. Now I know what we're all going to do after that.
Was anybody else really shy at bartenders, even after they turned 21? I'm not so shy in general, but for some reason, it KILLED me to order a drink, and I had people do it for me for months after I was of age.
@remargaret I'm 30 and still have trouble ordering drinks. Recently I asked a bartender what their top shelf vodka was and she gave me two options -- after I chose one she said, "that's not really a top shelf vodka" like I was an idiot.
@remargaret I get shy when I order a cocktail. I can order beer, but cocktails? NO. I just freeze up. Especially because I'm a bit picky on how some cocktails are made so I have to get all specific.
@remargaret I know what you mean. I get a little apprehensive around them because 1. I don't know a lot about different types of booze 2. A lot of them are unfriendly 3. I HATE asking for "the cheapest you have" because, even though I'm poor, something about saying that (in any context, really) makes me feel weird/cheap.
@remargaret Nope. At midnight on the night I turned 21, I marched right into the nearest bar and shouted "SOMEBODY CARD ME!".
@remargaret: Before I turned 21, I was always panicky about drinking at a bar because it seemed like everyone in the movies / shows / books had a list of sophisticated sounding drinks they could just rattle off the top of their heads, and what if I go on a real Grown Up Date and I'm like "I'd like a screwdriver" and he's like "haha what is this a frat party"???
@klaus: Wooow, that is a super douchey-sounding bartender. I get a bit antsy too, just because I feel like bartenders are always judging me and my drink choice.
@ietapi I try to order interesting or old-timey cocktails and then the bartenders can't make them! It blows. (This is also from most of my drinking being done in a college town, probably.)
@anachronistique I live in a crappy/college town, it's the same here. You also should never order any cocktail with more than three ingrediants, those will inevitably be made with a mix.
@OhShesArtsy I had that very conversation with a friend over Christmas! He ordered an extremely disappointing Tom Collins and I told him I only ever got beer or drinks with two components (gin and tonic! vodka and soda! rum and coke!).
@olivebee You know what you can say instead? "Oh I'll just have the well..." in a tone that conveys that you know it's a waste of good liquor to mix it with most things. Then the bartender will give you a quick, knowing nod and you won't feel so bad about ordering the cheapest thing!
I wish I was more of a beer drinker. It would be so handy and far cheaper than my usual tipple (gin). I can just above manage a Sol or Corona or something along those lines, but I can't handle anything that comes in a can, or anything darker. Stout or anything, no thanks. I worked in Guinness for a while and would regularly receive free bottles of the stuff which would have been awesome if I was able to stomach it.
@Decca Same here. I will never forget the only time I had Guinness and neither will my stomach. Oh well, all the gin for us.
@andrea disaster I went through a very brief period where I somehow tricked myself into thinking I could drink it? I was out one night with a friend who is a big Guinness drinker and decided I should try and match her, pint for pint. Oh good Lord. My stomach still hasn't forgiven me. In conclusion, let's both stick to gin! Let us clink glasses.
@Decca: I started out hating beer back in college, and then I started to like it, and THEN I had one vomit-filled night where I was super successful at beer pong (mostly thanks to my partner) and ended up drinking 194.72 times by body weight, and then I hated beer again, but a couple of years ago I started drinking sour ales, and now I can appreciate most beers, although some still cause me to make faces.
But -- my first love and drink of choice is still a g&t. <3
@ietapi @Decca Gin forever! ... even though I've been cheating on it this winter with whiskey.
@andrea disaster Hey, me too! Whiskey with hot water, a slice of lemon and some cloves in the winter, gin the rest of the year.
as someone who has both "fancy beer place" and "date with bartender" on her agenda for this evening, I would like to humbly point out that UR DOING IT WRONG.
@cherrispryte are you worried about fancy beers? Because I would totally internet research that shit, find the bar beer list, and hit up beeradvocate.com.
If you're not worried, sign up for Cicerone classes with me! :)
@LornaLoo I am not. I have a few breweries that I love (Bells, Dogshead) and I am a big fan of IPAs, so armed with that tiny bit of knowledge, I can fake my way through fancy beer places!
(Yes, Bell's Two-Hearted Ale is the best beer in the entire world. Come at me if you disagree.)
@cherrispryte I can't possibly refute that statement because it is, indeed, empirically true. I am a beer nerd to the Nth degree, have spoken with several other beer nerds, and they agree.
@cherrispryte @LornaLoo Bell's Two Hearted truly is the best beer. It's a perfect IPA.
My roommate dragged me to watch soccer at 7am one recent Saturday, and we asked the bartender for a "breakfast drink." He made us Hefeweisen with a shot of orange juice dumped in it, and it was actually really good, and tasted exactly like breakfast! I recommend. And I don't usually like wheaty beers. The OJ made it all okay.
@melmuu Recently I combined Hefe with fresh grapefruit juice... seriously, just a few weeks ago. That's super delicious as well.
Sour...cherry.....cherry lambic? I had a Chapeau Cherry lambic a while ago that was lovely and sour. Try it?
Hah! This shit drives me crazy. It's impressive that some bartenders can remember people's drinks of choice from, like, weeks prior. But I am not one of those people! I serve a lot of different people every day and I'm not a mind reader!
My all-time favourite is Foster's. Started drinking it when on many a holiday in London. Does anybody know about "Pub Quiz" availability in NYC? Got hooked on them as well. Loads of fun, great way to make friends. Looking to find someone to go to one. with.
@forensicRN
I've wanted to go to a quiz for forever and I know there's some bars in the East Village that have them.
@forensicRN Set one up! I also love pub quizzes, and live in London do there's plenty around, but I still pretty much have no one to go with.
@forensicRN http://www.bronxalehouse.com/ordereze/default.aspx
Pub quiz Sundays at 9:30! Fancy beers! Non-jerky bartenders! (I may or may not work there,let's keep that a mystery. but it is seriously a great place.)
You know, I hate to even suggest it, but could it possibly just be Sam Adams Cherry Wheat? Also, there are tons of lambics out there and I'm sure one of them is cherry-flavoured. Check out BeerAdvocate! They will probably have answers.
@Alli525 I was wondering the same thing. And then it got me thinking about how nice it would be to have a cherry wheat in hand on this sunny day. And NOW I'm thinking about Dogfish Head Midas Touch. But no Sam Adams or Dogfish Head for me here in the UK...at least not that I know of :(
Wow, you sound terrible. You're in a job where you have little personal power (and an even more diminutive income) and so you choose to lord it over others wherever possible, even if means acting like a snobby douchelord. I feel sorry for you.
@kittendorf My goodness! To whom was this directed?
This is way late, but Ommegang Three Philosophers? (probably not)
also super late, but maybe its echte kriek?
My favorite bartender ever had a terrible memory for drinks and moreover drink recipes. His saving grace was that he could manufacture some really amazing stuff on the spot based on the vaguest description. We used to challenge him to "make something tasty in red" or "I want something that tastes like melancholy" and at least to our drunk asses it worked. Beer wasn't an option unless you liked what he liked- a possibility!- since he'd put up only one keg at a time of whatever he was into.
Oh yeah- further saving grace was that he was awful at math. End of the night- "hey don! What do I owe you?" the answer was always "maybe ten bucks?"