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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

87

Edna vs. Bird

A turkey has been terrorizing Edna Geisler of Commerce Township, Michigan, and although she claims she doesn't want to eat it for dinner, she does want it taken away. (SIGTTTTAOIGTSI?)

Also, something spooky's going on with the vibe from that turkey and the alien in Signs.

[Via]



87 Comments / Post A Comment

wilarseny

Someone is going to take this terrorizing turkey away or I am going to shoot it?@wilarseny Oh, I wasn't counting "to" as a T-word. Whoops.

wilarseny

@wilarseny Oh, I wasn't counting "to" as a T-word. Whoops.

Edith Zimmerman

@wilarseny Ahhh, no! But now I feel dumb because that's obviously the obvious one.

wilarseny

@Edith Zimmerman SIGTTTTTAOIAGTCIUAEIFTD?

EpWs

@wilarseny Someone is going to take this terrorizing turkey away or I am going to cut it up and eat it for dinner?

wilarseny

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Thanksgiving dinner! But, basically got it.

EpWs

@wilarseny Drat, missed that last T.

olivebee

Someone's going to take this turkey away or I am going to shoot it? :(

olivebee

@olivebee Don't worry, turkey! I'll come save you and take you to my hypothetical big backyard where I have one of every type of farm animal that I have hypothetically saved from a dinner table.

(And yes, this is a dream/wish of mine).

EpWs

@olivebee Are you a part of the Hairpin Farmers' Collective yet? Everyone's welcome! We have zucchini!

tortietabbie

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Do we...do we all live on farm? Together?

olivebee

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I did not know about this collective! I am not a farmer (though I did work at a farmers' market all through high school), but the main thing I lament about living in a big city is the whole "You can't have livestock as a pet" rule. These stupid big city governments, trying to ruin my fantasies about having a goat, cow, pig, etc. that I hang out with and pet and whisper "it's ok, your mom didn't get chopped up by a factory farm, I promise" to for hours on end.

...yeah, I'm a little weird.

wilarseny

@olivebee The other day I was reading about domesticated foxes in Russia, and became rather enamored of the idea, and discovered that you can keep foxes in Chicago without a permit! Also, I have friends who are petitioning their township to let them keep chickens in their yard. Apparently that's a thing now, urban chicken coops.

olivebee

@wilarseny I live in Chicago! Now I must go look up what other non-"pet" animals I am allowed to add to my hypothetical petting zoo of a home. I love my cats, but I mean, cats? So generic.

LeafySeaDragon

@wilarseny it's a huge thing!! i have chickies in my livign room right now! and yesterday there was a girl at the park with her pet chicken - adorable! <-portlander

bangs
bangs

@olivebee My city (Vancouver) allows backyard chickens. But it doesn't allow them to live on balconies of highrises so I am out of luck.

atipofthehat

@wilarseny

It's my dream to spend some time in Chicago with a total fox.

Verity

@olivebee For my birthday, my boyfriend adopted two turkeys for me that had been saved from being slaughtered for food (they live at a sanctuary with lots of other rescued farm animals). Their names are Mistletoe and Wine, as they would probably have ended up being Christmas dinner. It was an excellent present (although possibly hypocritical for me to like it, as I'm not a vegetarian? Still, pet turkeys, yay!).

EpWs

Someone is going to take this turkey away or I am going to shank it!

wharrgarbl

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher My vote is for "swat it".

SallyJFreedman

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher - Someone is going to take this turkey away or I am going to shovel it?

EpWs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Sweep it?

parallel-lines

@wharrgarbl BURN IT!

wharrgarbl

@parallel-lines What? No. Just, no. We roast turkeys, parallel-lines. We do not burn turkeys. Not with guests coming over.

parallel-lines

@wharrgarbl Sorry, forgot to add #vikingsolutions.

Parallel-lines: I say we kill him!
Hairpin: YEAH!
PL: I say we hang him, then we kill him!
HP: YEAH!
PL: I say we stomp him!
HP: YEAH!
PL: Then we tattoo him!
HP: YEAH!
PL: Then we hang him!
HP: YEAH!!
PL: And then we kill him!
HP: YEAH!!!
Turkey: [quietly] I say we let him go.
HP: NO!!!

candybeans

@parallel-lines ...OIGT STUFF it! Right?

EpWs

@candybeans PERFECT.

frigwiggin

I thought that video was going to be this video. Which, at 2:00 (and 2:06) when the turkey's head pops up over the hood, I laugh until I cry.

EpWs

@figwiggin Dyyyyyyyyyyyyyying.

werewolfbarmitzvah

@figwiggin Yesssssss, Gawker posted that one several months ago, and it had me WAILING and falling off the couch with laughter!

olivebee

@figwiggin I like this turkey. He's got perseverance. A real go-getter.

LeafySeaDragon

@figwiggin IT'S A TURKEY!!!!! jfc i was once being chased by like 6 geese and then i realized - they were geese.

olivebee

@LeafySeaDragon I took the 4 year old I was babysitting to feed the ducks/geese a couple weeks ago, and a.) I was more delighted by it than he was and b.)the dozens of geese were crowding like 8 inches away from me, yet instead of fleeing or at least being careful like a normal person, I had to use every ounce of willpower to not reach out and pet their heads.

frigwiggin

@olivebee When I was nine years old, a goose stole one of my Pokemon cards. :(

EpWs

@figwiggin Geese tried to attack me when I was taking my high school senior pictures. (Not the yearbook ones, but the ones where you get a photographer and go somewhere pretty and take pictures? I don't know, it was my mom's idea, but then the geese ran us off?)

bangs
bangs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I was terrorized by a gander at my Great Uncle's place when I was a child. Nasty animal.

dracula's ghost

@figwiggin no lie, geese are FUCKING TERRIFYING

A few years ago I was walking in a park and all these geese converged on me and I had a total acid flashback to childhood and I suddenly realized everyone was staring at me as I held my arms tightly across my chest and said over and over again in a high-pitched voice "I don't like you! I don't LIKE you!!!" to the geese. My heart was pounding! And until then I had totally forgotten being bitten by a goose as a child. Yes, I was bitten by a goose.

What a breakthrough!

LeafySeaDragon

@olivebee hungry geese are ok, but geese who want to bite are scary. the old park i took my then 4yr old too had some really agressive ones. i eventually figured out that if i flapped my umbrella at them they would run away. i admit to kicking one once when it bit my kid.

Verity

@LeafySeaDragon Geese are scary! Once I was out feeding ducks and loads of geese came up and SURROUNDED ME. They started converging and I began backing away and then realised there were lots behind me. Not a pleasant moment.

PistolPackinMama

@werewolfbarmitzvah It's like the Blair Turkey Project.

parallel-lines

We had to go see my future father in law at the hospital on Staten Island after his bypass surgery (quintuple!) and there were gangs of turkeys in the parking lot terrorizing people. Like, literally chasing old ladies, acting like a bunch of teenage thugs. And apparently you can't do anything to harm them even though they're overpopulated--one guy was fined heavily for poisoning a turkey that broke his basement window--the turkey banged it's head on the window until it shattered!

beatrixkiddo1

@parallel-lines I was once terrorized by a Turkey as well! My dad had to throw snow balls at it until it ran away, we couldn't believe what was happening. Those things are a public menace.

LeafySeaDragon

turkey are terrifying.

quail are ADORABLE.

PistolPackinMama

@LeafySeaDragon they are. They say chi-cah-go! Chi-cah-go!

My brother and his wife have a thing for quails, and it's so cute I want to faint half the time. Because uberwachteln... so cute!

LeafySeaDragon

@PistolPackinMama i'm seriously thinking of getting some baby quails to raise in my brood box as soon as my chickens are outside. but i have cats, and i worry i'd just be providing snacks. chickens are big enough to not be prey.

PistolPackinMama

@LeafySeaDragon Chi-ca-go! Chi-ca-gurk...

Yeah. That would be bad.

And quails are just so darned adorable, the idea of them being cat canapes is upsetting.

boyofdestiny

I was watering plants for a friend who was on vacation a few summers back. He has a very narrow yard with a relatively steep and grassy hill that ends in a retaining wall. So I'm watering the plants, minding my own business, when the tall grass in front of me starts rustling in a non-wind-caused kind of way. I took a step back, and I can see that the entire hill is sort of undulating. Almost simultaneously, the heads of at least 20 wild turkeys poke out from the grass, and they all start hopping off the hill and surrounding me. It was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life! Fortunately, I think they were on their way someplace and didn't have time to peck me to bits, but boy, was I scared. And this was in the middle of Boston!

atipofthehat

@boyofdestiny

Terrifying!

I tried watching the video above, but the sound track was gobbled.

boyofdestiny

@atipofthehat Try stuffing your headphones deeper into your ear.

atipofthehat

@boyofdestiny

Now I hear it. Still, he doesn't want anything from her but her ball.

boyofdestiny

@atipofthehat If that's the case, then before you know it they'll be breast of friends.

atipofthehat

@boyofdestiny

She just needs to carve out some space.

boyofdestiny

@atipofthehat True. Any good relationship is baste on a respect for boundaries.

atipofthehat

@boyofdestiny

It may have something to do with the way she's dressing. And I saw her giving him the giblet eye.

boyofdestiny

@atipofthehat Stick a fork in me. I'm done.

atipofthehat

@boyofdestiny

It's like you, just when things were really getting going, to wattle off.

Party Falcon

Sorry about that. No shooting, Edith, please.

G.Zilla had a bit of a bad breakup recently. He hit the bottle and maybe got a little too attached to Edna. The bird community keeps trying to support him, maybe get him checked into Promises, but he just won't admit he has a problem. He thinks that if Edna would just love him back, everything would be fine.

Personally, though, I'm a little concerned. I think he's heading into stalker territory and maybe a night or two in the clink would do him some good.

parallel-lines

@Party Falcon KEEP YOUR BOY IN CHECK, YO!

laurel

@Party Falcon G.Zilla def wants to make eggs with Edna. It's early spring, yo.

parallel-lines

Turkeys are the new Canada Geese. Both are still assholes.

Megasus

@parallel-lines Maybe both are mad because they were here first.

parallel-lines

@Megan Patterson@facebook Not the Canada Geese--go back to your country, you socialized medicine loving hosers! I thought Canadians were supposed to be polite?!

Megasus

@parallel-lines Haha I guess I mean continent?

atipofthehat

She's not the only "prisoner of Wild Turkey."

charlesbois

God I love my state. Did you catch the "'n' 'at" at the end? That's Michigan short-hand for "and that."

That turkey has a great beard and some nice spurs. We used to never have turkeys in Michigan so it's great they are making a comeback.

LornaLoo

@charlesbois Hoorah for Commerce, MI! Although, I this might have actually been Waterford. (Watertucky?) Same difference, really.

Edith Zimmerman

stay inside

Does this mean the game has to be retired?

EpWs

@Edith Zimmerman No! But I do think it means that the 'Pin Commentariat has some anger issues to work out.

atipofthehat

@Edith Zimmerman

NRTGOWWCTYHAFYC

boyofdestiny

@Edith Zimmerman SIGGCOIGRG

EpWs

@atipofthehat Never retire the game or we will cry tears something something something?

atipofthehat

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher

FIRST 7 CORRECT

Edith Zimmerman

@atipofthehat come to your house and fix your computer? find your ... ? finish your ... ?

The day the ga-ame died.

atipofthehat

@Edith Zimmerman

FIRST 11 CORRECT!

FYC = feed you cookies.

Which may not sound like much of a threat, but if ALL of us do it... That's a lot of cookies. At first they'll be delicious and fresh-baked, but then people will show up with big boxes of sugar wafers in three colors, and stale black-and-whites, and Archway cookies from the company's days of horror, and old Xmas cookies, and so on.

So it's probably best to keep up the tradition!

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

On the other hand, I will bring pfeffernusse.

Edith Zimmerman

@atipofthehat Oh you know I don't eat cookies.

atipofthehat

@Edith Zimmerman

Okay, but you must eat SOMETHING that begins with "c."

oops, now I'm banned

Edith Zimmerman

@atipofthehat I could deal with chardonnay

atipofthehat

@Edith Zimmerman

DONE

Pia Titus@facebook

True story. Our neighbours and very good friends growing up were Zen Buddhists and when I was 7 or 8 entered a competition for a live turkey at a farmers market and won. Obviously they couldn't kill it so they took it home as a pet and it lived in our neighbourhood. I was talking to my ma recently about it and how it was so friendly and would come up and gobble at us. She said oh yes it always was humping you.

Betsy Murgatroyd

I think he sees his reflection in the car door which is why he's "protecting" it. I have read about peacocks in Florida doing this. Of course, I don't know if this applies to turkeys. Just seems like a logical jump.

Also, upthread re: quails. I love quails. I have them in my neighborhood and I love it when the boy quails strut their stuff. Once there was one on the roof of the neighbors house just telling it like it is. I was enthralled, as was my cat.

Hot Doom

I am a bit late to this thread, but was anyone else thinking how this would make a perfect vignette in a Christopher Guest film?

"The wild turkey is a MAJESTIC animal. These turkeys here, they, they are coming back to Michigan in droves, and this latest stock is stronger, more stately than ever. Fine plummage and bigger.. ahh.. bigger breasts. Than previous generations."

Ham Snadwich

True fact: Commercially produced turkeys cannot mate because of their enormous breasts. Also, turkey sperm cannot be frozen, so there are farm workers constantly jacking off turkeys.

fondue with cheddar

@Ham Snadwich TURKEY JERKERS!

fondue with cheddar

"He isn't going to stop"...UNTIL ONE OF US IS DEAD.

The turkey call is kind of creepy, actually.

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