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Monday, March 26, 2012

71

Easter Qoqtails

Easter's qoming up, would you perhaps want to celebrate with a Qadbury Qreamartini, which doesn't exist? But which has choqolate eggs as "olives"? Or is that too gross? Or is that not gross enough? Or is it impossible to say, because of the immutability of Qream's repulsiveness? The "olive" sqewer qould also maybe be a knitting needle. How else qould we ruin Easter? By serving this Qreamartini drinq in a ceramiq qabbage qup? (See also: "cabbage flexing its muscles.") Pouring it into plastiq Easter eggs and burying them for a thousand years?

This has been The Hairpin's quarterly Qream qonsideration. See you in about twelve weeqs or so. (Lot of birthdays in June to worq with.) (I qan't stop!) I'm sorry about that piqture, also. (Oqay, get me out of here!) (Qream! Let me go!)

My name is Edith, and I'm trapped inside this blog post about alqohol. I hope it swallowed a knife, so I qan qut myself out. (Where's the knife?) I'm looqing, I'm looqing...

Or maybe a qing will qome set me free.

You know what? The PR company that represents Qream — one of them, at least — sends me regular emails with information about their other qlients, but I've apparently been taken off the Qream list, which qills me. Or does it? Oqay, I found the knife.

And how was your weeqend?

Tags:

qream, ez



71 Comments / Post A Comment

mabellegueule

My best friend got me a bottle of Qream (peach) for my birthday because she is my best friend. I will qeep you posted.

allendaniel

Keep in mind you can add one or two jellybeans to the bottom of the glass for a little easter surprise at the end of the drink!@a

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

Wouldn't a qnife be more helpful in this situation?

anachronistique

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict The q is silent?

Bus Driver Stu Benedict

@anachronistique Especially so in Qream

fondue with cheddar

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict Yes, a qutlass would be perfeqt!

Jazzy

Maybe beqause it's a Monday I'm easily tiqled today. Giggled all the way through this...

MoonBat

@Jazzy
Me, too! Qan't stop, Edith qraqs me up!!!

The Lady of Shalott

I am still extremely irritated over the fact that I cannot get Qream where I live. If I could, I would be forcing everyone I know to taste-test this.

Especially my best friend, who once got me to try some horrifying "apple pie flavoured" gum under the guise of "Try this!" and shoving it in my mouth. I feel like I need revenge and Qream is the best possibly way to do this.

whatsherface

@The Lady of Shalott
Yep, I check every time I hit up the liquor store and no dice. Anyone know where to get Qream in the Toronto area? (I so want to try it! But I don't! ...BUT I DO.)

phlox

@whatsherface You can search the LCBO site for where they have specific beverages but they have no Qream at all.

Megasus

@phlox No Qream in Qanada? :(

Tragically Ludicrous

@The Lady of Shalott Once I did that with Manischewitz, because I was in Seattle and they don't have Jews there so none of my friends had ever tried it.

I do wish I could get Qream here, but it'd be so expensive it wouldn't be worth the humor.

EpWs

@The Lady of Shalott The more important question is, of course, can you get Chicken and Waffles flavored syrup in Qanada? Mix with Qream for a Chiqen and Waffles Qocktail that is maybe the grossest thing I have ever dreamed up.

(Seriously, this is a real thing--the syrup, not the qocktail--YET. "Adds that “is it chicken or is it waffles” allure to cocktails, lattes, sauces, and any deserving recipe." I HAD TO SHARE IT WITH YOU GUYS.)

The Lady of Shalott

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Good Lord, no. What in heaven's name are you talking about???

EpWs

@The Lady of Shalott CHICKEN AND WAFFLES SYRUP. Like the syrups you can put in drinks. I don't know. Stay the hell in Canada, it's not safe down here.

anachronistique

Mini Cadbury creme (qreme?) eggs are about olive-sized. Sounds good to me. (And by good I mean so horrifying that it cirqles around to being hilarious again.)

Ophelia

@anachronistique One quold also use the large jelly beans, and possibly top the skewer with a Peep. Oh, the possibilities!

anachronistique

@Ophelia A bowl of Qream punch with Peeps floating in it?

Ophelia

@anachronistique Oh, god, that would be awesome. Until they started to dissolve, and the entire thing looqed like vomit.

Judith Slutler

@Ophelia That would definitely make me want to puqe

bangs
bangs

@anachronistique Bobbing for peeps!

Xanthophyllippa

@Ophelia Doesn't Qream already looq like vomit? Like, the qind of vomit you'd vomit after eating a lot of Easter qandy in the first place?

sox
sox

It's pretty gross, but I'm still gonna say that it's not gross enough.

atipofthehat

I'll PAAS.

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

Edith sounds like a basket case today.

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

Maybe she needs to find an Easter drinking partner on Eggslist.

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

I'd better be careful what I say, or I'll hear from her peeps.

angelinha

@atipofthehat Yeah, come on Edith, hop to it.

whizz_dumb

@atipofthehat something something resurreqtion

MoonBat

@atipofthehat
I hope these puns never Peter out.

MoonBat

@atipofthehat
Seriously. I'm dyeing here.

atipofthehat

@MoonBat

Take it easy. It's just a yolk.

atipofthehat

@whizz_dumb

This certainly was a qream-filled post.

MoonBat

@atipofthehat I'm just qrabby because I gave up Qream for lent. I'll be oqay in a qouple of weeqs.

MoonBat

@atipofthehat Candy you just qeep the puns qoming, please?

atipofthehat

@atipofthehat

I don't think it's fair that Edith decided to passover other spring holidays. Can someone seder straight? (Or maybe she tried, but the leaventy fell flat.)

atipofthehat

@MoonBat

Jelly speaking, she's bean pretty funny lately.

MoonBat

@atipofthehat She doesn't send us out to hunt for the joqes!

atipofthehat

@MoonBat

:: raises a single malted egg ::

atipofthehat

@MoonBat

It takes a lot to bring her out of her shell. I don't want to speckle-ate.

MoonBat

@atipofthehat
Sorry so late in accepting the toast. I Cadbury things to do.

atipofthehat

@MoonBat

No doubt involving a bowl full of grass.

fondue with cheddar

@atipofthehat I think a few of these puns are pretty laqung. Some bunny better pick up the slaq.

MoonBat

@atipofthehat Were you kidding? I cottontail....

atipofthehat

@MoonBat

Mallow out, dude!

Jaya

I need to buy another bottle, don't I?

tortietabbie

I haven't bought any Qream yet to try it, but I'm pretty sure I would love it. (I also love Tequila Rosa - WHATEVER HATERS.)

Ophelia

Qream should really start doing seasonal flavors. So, for Easter, we definitely need some sort of pastel Jelly Bean flavor, Shamroq for St. Patrick's day, etc. I think it's already set for Valentine's day as-is, frankly..

applestoapples

@Ophelia Qristmas Mint Qream. HalloQream that tastes like candy corn.

MoonBat

@Ophelia
Cherry Qream for President's Day?

Ophelia

@applestoapples Pumpqin Qream for Thanksgiving/Autumn in general?

whizz_dumb

My weekend was good, thanks for asking Edith. I got my first tattoo at the age of thirty. Is that normal?

Ophelia

@whizz_dumb Depends. Is it a tattoo of your mom's face?

saythatscool

@Ophelia You're killin me.

Ophelia

@saythatscool You weren't here earlier. Someone had to fill the void...

atipofthehat

@Ophelia

...or the crawlspace.

Brunhilde

@whizz_dumb I was pretty close to thirty when I got mine.

Her???

@whizz_dumb I was thirty-one! Congratulations!

atipofthehat

@Brunhilde
@luckylulu

Now a NYT reporter is working up a trend piece about newly 30ish women getting their first tattoos of whizz_dumb's mom.

Brunhilde

@atipofthehat OMG you guys, we're *ruining* the New York Times!

laurel

Pipe a Qream qordial into a hollow choqolate Easter bunny?

Ophelia

@laurel Or perhaps deqorate some Easter qookies with butterqream?

MoonBat

@laurel
Qlever girl.

EpWs

June birthdays! I has one! Qream Birthday Qake? With, as @Ophelia mentioned above, butterqream frosting? (Ice qream?)

Ophelia

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Ooh, me too! The 17th. Which day is yours?

EpWs

@Ophelia The 6th! Fortnight long 'Pinner June Birthday party?

Xanthophyllippa

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Qount me in!

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