1. Display the new liqueur in a strategic area at the holiday trade show. Pour freely.
2. Build an ugly display made from cheap metal and plastic for retail stores. Display liqueur prominently.
3. When the promotion is over, throw the display in the back until the managers of the store complain, or one of the employees keeps bugging you for the Qream mirror.
Clarissa Wildwood can be reached at curiousperfections@gmail.com.
$28.99 !??! I bought a bottle for $16 at the Wal-mart.
@Creature Cheeseman as a product of the 302 I'm still amazed that people don't have to go to a liquor store to buy liquor.
@wasabi peas Back in Arizona, we could get it in gas stations. Also, drive-thrus.
Living in Baltimore was torture. Why don't you people sell beer in grocery stores?? What is wrong with you???
@wasabi peas
I'm always shocked and disgusted by states/ areas that don't sell liquor on Sundays.
@JoanTition WHAT UP CONNECTICUT
@Creature Cheeseman Ontario doesn't either. You have to go the government owned Beer Stores or LCBO.
@Megan Patterson@facebook I think Quebec is the only province where you can buy booze outside of liquor stores. I love going to visit my grandparents on the south shore of Montreal and getting beer at the dep.
@wasabi peas WUT UP DELAWARE!
@wasabi peas One good thing about living in Ghetto Las Cruces New Mexico.
Liquor is everywhere. Wallmart, drive-through liquor stores (I know.), gas stations, Wallgreens. If it sells cigarettes, it sells booze
@The Angels Have the Phonebox BC does too. I haven't been to any other provinces but Quebec so I dunno about them.
@Creature Cheeseman
So, this promo went down in Texas, where we have blue laws and no liquor in grocery stores or gas stations. Liquor stores have quite a stranglehold.
@The Kendragon I live in El Paso, and every time I go to New Mexico, I am shocked by how much more readily available booze is. I can buy wine at gas stations, sure, but if I go ten more minutes out of my way to Santa Teresa, I can buy gin! GIN! At a gas station! It truly is the land of enchantment.
@The Angels Have the Phonebox Alberta has deregulated liquor. There are tons of independently-owned stores, and lots of choice.
@sophi EEKKKK!!! El Paso/LC Hairpin Meetup?
Yes, you just made my day. (Well, you and Ry did. Public acclaim for my pup-raising skills=awesome day)
Any other Southern NM/Southwest TX 'Pinners?
@The Kendragon YES even if it is just the two of us! I feel like there is another area lady floating around somewhere, though. TX/NM hairpinners, show your faces!
@Emby Oh AZ, with your crazy drive-through liquor stores that will even serve a pack of thirsty pedestrians. I think of you every time I visit these Eastern Trader Joe's and gaze forlornly at the corner where the two buck chuck should be.
I am so excited. I have been so jealous of the NY/Chicago/LA etc big city pinners cause they get to have meetups!
@gobblegirl True, but they are separate from other goods. So President's Choice beer is separate from the food.
@The Angels Have the Phonebox THERE IS PRESIDENT'S CHOICE BEER!? (I dunno why I'm so excited. I don't even like beer)
@Megan Patterson@facebook There sure is! It's kind of gross, but cheap. Oh how I love Superstore!
@Creature Cheeseman @sophi Fellow El Paso resident here (actually Juarezident to be technical). I'm just tickled by the Texas "can't serve you liquor before noon on Sunday" thing as though the sip of beer I would take at 11:59 is displeasing to the Lord but by 12:01 it's cool.
@Creature Cheeseman The Superstore even without the beer is a glorious place. Although I think there might be a beer store on the bottom floor of the one near me. There is for sure a Wine Rack.
@skillzworth Delaware pin-up???
@themegnapkin @skillzworth Delaware pinners?! I live in Michigan now but I grew up in DE and visit my parents there regularly ... DE pinup this summer maybe? So exciting.
@angryjones I still think Chicago has the most convoluted liquor laws out of any place in the country. You can't serve or buy liquor after 4am until 7am, and 11am on Sundays. To get a liquor license in this city you have to sell not only your own soul but that of your waitstaff. It's ridiculous.
@Creature Cheeseman Probably still overcompensating for the '20s when nobody followed prohibition and they were rum running across the lake from Canada constantly?
@Creature Cheeseman YES!! Delaware Pin-Up! I always knew that you lovelies would appear one day!
Ooooh I wanna qraft with that something bad.
@Jaya Eh, I heard it tastes like qrap :(
I still have yet to see a bottle of this stuff in the wild -- it looks so medicinal in all the pictures.
@City_Dater I saw it for the first time this past Friday! My dude picked it up and said, "what the hell is this shit?" and I may have squealed a little.
Is there a word for something that is the combination of horribly tacky and yet is a magnificent dream come true? Something German, maybe? Or perhaps John Waters coined a term I'm not familiar with? Whatever that word is, the existence of Qream exemplifies it.
@ilikemints i like "awfulsome" for such things, but perhaps it lacks the grandeur you are looking for ...
@ilikemints Schändlichtraum?
Poshlost may fit that bill.
@melis
&
@ilikemints amaziterrible is what I use for Eurovision performances/Dutch carnival pop.
i assume someone has pointed out that this looks like pepto bismol
i can not imagine putting this in my mouth
i live in oregon and liquor stores can't even have names here--they all have to be called "liquor store." I remember moving to LA and being completely blown away by VODKA in TRADER JOEs. Just right there out in the open!!!!!
still, it beats Utah
then again, what doesn't
no offense Utah, your geography/geology is spectacular
@dracula's ghost oh man I was in San Jose last summer and the shelves of glorious liquor in the grocery store nearly convinced me to switch coasts.
@dracula's ghost For serious, I miss being in college in LA and going to Von's where liquor would go ON SALE for like $14 off of a handle.
@dracula's ghost Wait, whaaaattt? I've lived in Portland almost all my life and have never noticed this! Though I haven't really paid attention either. I just looked up the one near my house and it's called "11th Avenue Liqour" so maybe they can only add something relating to the location?
I would qill to have that display shelving in my rooooom 4eva!
Actually, take out those two shelves and boom, instant Qream throne.
@Jaya: Something to kneel in front of after overindulging in Qream?
@Jaya And apparently if you take the mirror out, you can use the top of the throne to put on vulva puppet shows. Qreamy indeed.
@ejcsanfran
I think that's the toilet.
Cam and Mitch on Modern Family TOTALLY own a bottle of Qream, though I don't think the bottle has gotten any emptier.
@Megan Patterson@facebook Dennis Feinstein's office in Parks and Recreation has a few bottles too! It's in the episode where Ben interviews there to be his accountant.
@matisse Oh my gosh, I do my avatar a disservice for I did not notice that. I had to go back and find that scene online just now and now I'm in awe of how great the P&R crew is for knowing to furnish Dennis Feinstein's office with Qream. They really do their joke homework.
For the rest of us who missed it;
http://i.imgur.com/jbTRH.png
My father is a liquor/beer salesman and the amount of this trash I grew up with festering in our garage is unbelievable. Fairly sure we still have stacks of Colt 45 posters featuring bethonged ladies in there.
@mademoiselle cait To paraphrase from Indiana, "That belongs in a museum!"
I'm still not entirely convinced Qream isn't a joke (joqe?).
@likethestore Whatever it started as, it is one now.
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the Qreamiest of them all?"
I'm sorry, I just... had to...
@derpcastle
They had both flavors (flavaz?) in the liquor store in NJ this afternoon.
@derpcastle I haven't seen the stuff anywhere on the Dover line, and as such don't quite believe it really exists.
Moreover, much like a housecat faced with a garter snake, I wouldn't know what to do with it if I got ahold of any.
@The Mythical Codfish Nor have I found any in Indiana.I haven't really looked,though. Isthisstuffatbars? I'm not about to drop $16 or whatever it costs at Target or Walmart on a huge bottle. Without trying it first, that is.
@whateverlolawants The space bar is broken on my work computer. (I KNOW.) I forgot to Ctrl+V "Isthisstuffatbars?" in my last comment. Really I should've just added a hashtag.
@derpcastle
"qrirror, qrirror..." oh never mind
Is this the adult version of Nestle Quick?
@Mabissa Yeah, basically, except you can't really make pancakes (panqakes?) with it, and from what I've heard it's pretty damn disgusting.
@Mabissa Whoa, wait now... pancakes with Quick? That's blowing my mind! Chocolate-milk pancakes! Strawberry-milk french toast!
@whateverlolawants I haven't the faintest. I'm kind of afraid to ask for it at a bar lest I get thrown out by the bartender and not allowed any more St. Germain and sodas. I wish I had some adventurous 'pinners in Jersey who were willing to go divvies with me on a bottle and figure out a way to make it palatable. (Perhaps Qream Milqshaques?)
Who is the girl in the Qream mirror?? She looks JUST like me. Greetings to you long lost twin!
@Ethel Kettle Um, she looks JUST like ME. Greetings to you, long lost triplet!
I spent most of my Saturday reading all the posts on the Qream tag, and the comments therein. A++ choices, would read and giggle madly again.