Previously: Ghost-Dating the Phone.
Esther C. Werdiger has a weekly podcast and a rich internet life, but also a job in Jerusalem.
movies, art, illustrations, comics, travel, paris, the league of ordinary ladies, esther c. werdiger
uhhh kind of creepy but i do believe you mean smadar - i used to use it to pee ALL THE TIME when i lived near jlem. awesome bathrooms. never did see a movie there, but the popcorn smelled good. (note: haifa is so much better.)
@shesaidshesaid Aaaahhh! I've been reading these for weeks and just realized that Esther lives in Israel. In other less relevant news, I miss Israel.
Oh that aimless walk to not feel like a shut in, I know you so well.
@chrysopoeia One of the main reasons that I got a dog was to give my walks purpose. Sure, I could walk alone but with a dog I'm not just wandering around, I'm Walking My Dog.
@AniaGosia See, this would probably lessen the compulsion I feel to buy something once I reach the bookstore/coffeeshop/arbitrary destination. But my cat refuses to be leashed.
@chrysopoeia I used to do this when I lived in Sydney. But it was so hot I couldn't go far before I sort of wilted against a hedge or something. I mostly used 'the walk' to go to the post office multiple times a day. Hey, I had a lot of parcels!
@chrysopoeia When I lived in Cambridge (Massachusetts, not England), I would slowly walk the thirty minute round trip alllll the way to the Chipotle in Harvard Square, get my dinner, and slowwwwwllllllyyyy walk allllll around Harvard Square then all the way back to my dorm room near Porter Square so I didn't feel alone. Even in 20 degree weather. I kind of tried to absorb all the adventure/dates/fun friend-like things going on around me, even though I wasn't engaged in them.
(When I lived closer to Harvard Sq. a few years earlier, I would walk the same 30 min walk into Porter Square on similar adventures). I'm living in surburbia now, and I really miss those long, lonely-in-a-good-way walks. I wish I could take one right now.
@bonnbee A part of me thinks I chose to live in one of the most subway-inaccessible neighborhoods in Brooklyn so I'd have an excuse to draw out my meandering walks. But hey! You find the best stuff that way. If I didn't take the long way home I would have never found that delicious hole-in-the-wall banh-mi place, etc.
@AniaGosia i'm going to use this space to talk about how my puppy! is learning! to walk so well! and it makes me so happy happy happy because i need an adorable puppy companion on my walks 1. to make them less lonely and 2. to pick up cute dudes obvs.
@chrysopoeia it is true that walking is super awesome for finding cool stuff
@chrysopoeia I drive around aimlessly to not feel like a shut in, and I hate myself for it.
@Any One Ninja Plot Do you feel bad about the wasting gas part? I've taken to biking!
@chrysopoeia I once walked my cat on a leash and it was a comedy of errors. He heard a dog bark and ran back to the house so fast that he was only running on his two back legs and I was dragging along behind. So we only made it five feet from the house.
@chrysopoeia I live right next to Riverbank State Park, so I generally go out and run a few laps. I feel like I have a life!
@bonnbee Oh I feel you. I commute from Washington Heights down to Midtwon Manhattan, and some days when I'm coming back from class I miss a few stops on the 1 and walk southward back toward home, along the Hudson. It's very scenic. But then I'm a boy, so just getting out on random subway stops and finding my way home isn't so scary?
@Danzig! I feel you! I once walked allllll the way across Boston, from the MFA (on one of my lonely-person outings) to the train stop near Mass. General because I didn't feel like taking the Green Line (notoriously awful Boston subway line)!
@bonnbee Boston has a subway?!
@Danzig! Yep! MBTA? or the T? it's pretty much how everyone gets around. Driving here is a giant PITA.
The T isn't awesome either, but it's not THAT bad. Boston is way smaller than I thought it was though, across Boston isn't a crazy long distance.
@Danzig! WHAT? Yes! It's one of the oldest ones in the country! I think it's the oldest one that got underground, or something, there's some metric by which it's the oldest. (I'm sorry. My hometown pride is making me babble.) I far prefer the T to the DC Metro or the El in Chicago (although I think that has more to do with Chicago being HUGE than it does with the El actually sucking), but nothing beats the MTA. Shockingly enough, the Metro here in Cairo is EXCELLENT.
And to think, I started writing this just to tell @bonnbee how nice I think Cambridge is to walk around.
@bonnbee I used to walk from Somerville into Boston all the time! Once to Fenway, once to Chinatown. It's an awesome city to walk around in.
One time I decided to spice up my aimless walks by bringing a disposable camera with me and asking people to take my pictures in front of notable-ish things. Like a tourist? I dunno, it was a weird time.
@rora I used to walk from Somerville into Boston sometimes too! And definitely into Harvard and Porter Sq. all the time. Oh Boston, I miss you! You are such a great city!
@miwome Ah yes. Cairo.
Also... presidential elections there. Are they All That? Or are people Meh?
@PistolPackinMama I was being held back from a blog by my inability to figure out what to call it, but I am actually setting it up right now! On the sly at work! So: coming attraction.
I haven't honestly heard much about the presidential elections; mostly I've been hearing about the fact that they closed the book on Mubarak's trial last week, and whether or not anything should happen to him. Possibly a couple of my coworkers were talking about politics today, but I couldn't understand them well enough to really know. I'm making it up based on the fact that I heard the words "military" and "national" or "state" a couple times.
Then again, I've been hanging out mostly with other expats (not my ideal, but it's the first week, it'll happen), so I haven't had much opportunity to talk about it. All sorts of things could be happening! Hopefully I will find out soon.
@miwome Cambridge is so nice to walk around! When I lived in Boston, I'd get the bus out to Cambridge every Saturday just to go on an aimless wander, do the bookshop trail, creep on the insanely-attractive baristas in the tiny Starbucks, etc.
Whatever the metro in DC is called, I liked that the best out of all the American ones I encountered, but I do honestly miss the T. I lived on the Green B line, and I even miss that fucking awful line.
@bonnbee I do that too! I walked alllll the way from the harbor to Mission Hill yesterday just to not take the Green Line. My goodness but I hate the Green Line.
@all of you--Why did you all move away from Boston? Come baaaaaaack!
I love how walkable ALl of the greater Boston area is. That my favorite "couple" activity with my husband. Just walking. Everywhere.
@SarahP I was on a student visa and had to leave the States on risk of deportment. But I will be back, some day! *shakes fist at sky*
@SarahP I want to come back! I graduated college and moved back to NY for my fiance's job/my grad school. We want to move back to Boston SO BAD!
When he would visit me from NY, he'd be like, "What fun things do you have planned for us??" And I'd be like, "WALKING AROUND BOSTON ALL DAY EVERY DAY!" We'd start at the MGH T stop and just walk everywhere. It was the best!
@bonnbee Ugh, but the Chipotle in Harvard Sq sucks!!! You need to go to Felipe's. Also in Harvard Sq.
@Shipwreck The green line is evil and must be destroyed. KILL IT WITH FIRE.
though I DID have my first makeout session on it, an age and a half ago, when I was so classy...
@teffodee Hey now, the D line is pretty okay! And they're all fine between Hynes and Haymarket (you know, when they're underground and not glorified buses).
But the blue line, now. THERE'S a subway line.
@teffodee I used to live on the green line--the only part of it I hated was the B. But I hated that because there were always college kids on there being drunk or inconsiderate--or making out! Was it you?! ;)
@SarahP C'mon, the B line is soooo slow that you pretty much just have to start drunkenly making out with somebody to pass the time.
@chrysopoeia: Felipe's!!! I dearly miss their burritos. Also, sometimes I would go a little nuts and get their quesadillas, which seemed to me like magical toasty burritos with extra cheese and no rice.
@Decca I love this.
@chrysopoeia whyyyy why would you put your mouth on anything on the subway whyyy
That's like making out in a public toilet. Not that it hasn't been done, but...
@PistolPackinMama Okay!!! Here it is! I will obviously repost this on the Friday Open Thread.
I am trying to figure out how to let all my friends know this thing exists without letting the people who will inevitably be written about on it know, because I want to be able to be candid about them. CRAP.
@Danzig! Wait, what??? I am firmly anti any mouth-subway connection.
@Danzig! I...may have done more than make out in a public toilet. More than once. But I was like sixteen, I hadn't grown any dignity yet.
@SarahP Noo, I was fourteen. He was the dreamy Latin boy I followed around for six years until I wised up and realized he only wanted to date me if nobody knew we were dating. Le sigh.
@chrysopoeia Yes, well, I was fourteen, and IN LOVE, you see. It was the boy who had broken my heart in sixth grade, but for whom I harbored a secret, steady passion...
@miwome Can you make it subscriber only? About to go scope it out!
@miwome OKAY OKAY OKAY! Awesome. And also... the pyramids! So close! Or is that photoshop. I mean, I know Cairo is big and Giza is close-ish. But any more development and those babies with be in the middle of a city square.
@PistolPackinMama Well first of all, that picture is not mine, because I didn't bring a proper camera (I am shitty about taking pictures, okay), so all I have are phone pictures, and while they're pretty good, they're not blog-banner good.
But secondly, Cairo is in SERIOUS sprawl mode. At this point, Giza is basically part of the city. But for the record, I can see the pyramids from my office (TYPING THAT WAS SO AWESOME) on the 13th floor, and my office is on the other side of the Nile from the pyramids. Those suckers are big.
@chrysopoeia Noooo wrong @!
@Danzig! I figured as much but I wanted to make my position on subway makouts public. Big fan of makeouts, not on the subway. Judging you! ALL OF YOU!
@Any One Ninja Plot I make up reasons to go to the grocery store to get out of the house. I just moved to a nicer place in a shittier neighborhood, so I don't really have the option of going for a stroll... I'm right next to a small airport and seriously THE shadiest street in my town.
Haven't read it yet but YESSSSSSSS.
Read it YESSSSSSSS.
Also, 'super cute just' is a super cute just error.
ohhhh shit meant to fix that
@Esther C. Werdiger Don't. It reads beautifully.
Oh man I don't even do that aimless walk, because I am a shutin. Also I do not live in a walkable part of town.
@Megan Patterson@facebook I refuse to move to a sketchier but more affordable neighborhood for this reason.
@Megan Patterson@facebook It's not sketchy, just suburby, and it would be super easy to kill me and toss my body in a ravine, because they are everywhere.
@Megan Patterson@facebook Just get a large dog that hates strangers - this will solve the "aimless walk" problem and the "danger of being murdered" problem at the same time!
@Bird Internet A large dog that loves strangers generally has the same effect since they both bark at strangers. (So says the girl who has a large dog that loves everyone and wants to lick their faces but has learned that most people don't want their faces licked by a large dog.)
@Megan Patterson@facebook My medium sized dog with a big dog's soul would lose his shit if I brought a big dog into our home.
@Bird Internet Actually! There was a psychopath running around my town (which in general is not violent or filled with murder)killing people (killed a young man, it was sad) and TRYING to kill people--one of these people was a middle-aged woman who was walking her large dog in the evening. He shot her in the thigh (though apparently he was trying to shoot the dog). Thankfully he is now in prison.
tl;dr walking with a dog won't always save you from the super-crazies. :(
@Megan Patterson@facebook i walk around my neighbourhood all the time but I recently heard a rumour about some girl getting held up at gunpoint in my area! wah wah. i have not been able to find a confirming news source yet though.
i bet my grandma started that rumour, along with the one about the muslims (!) that put a baby on the side of the road so that you stop and then when you stop they steal your car and mug the life out of you.
dudes. my grandma is so racist.
@redheaded&crazy wow, I thought my grandma is racist, but she keeps it confined to just calling Asian people "chinks" and how they can't drive. She is small-time.
Also after that robbery at I forget what TTC station the other day, I found out there was one recently at Leslie, which is near me, and I was like whaaaaaaat??
@Megan Patterson@facebook It was Dupont station, close to where I used to live and so super scary! Also remember the lady's body that was found rolled up in a carpet recently? That was very close to me now, so close that my dude frantically texted me in the middle of the day to make sure I was okay. And there was a stalker a while ago nearby who attacked a girl. But I still walk around all the time by myself (mostly in the day and with a pack of dogs because I'm a dog walker, but sometimes not those situations.) Constant Vigilance!
@Megan Patterson@facebook When I lived in Toronto I used to walk from my friend's place (King and Dufferin)to my place at in the Church and Wellesley Village. Alone. Drunk. At night. Through alleys.
I'm so surprised I didn't get murdered/mugged. Why are you getting so rough TO??
I totally used to walk down to the lakeshore to not feel like a shut-in too though.
@Megan Patterson@facebook My grandma used to tell me to be careful in parking lots at night, because strange men would hide under my car, and when I got close enough would slash my ankles with a knife and steal my "pocketbook." She also said (waaaaay before roofies were A Thing) to never let a strange man wearing a ring give me a drink, because the ring would probably be the kind that flips open and contains "dope," and he would "dope" me and kidnap me.
Not sure if she was a racist, but she definitely was not a fan of strange men. Especially if they were wearing rings.
@Megan Patterson@facebook THAT PRETTY MUCH DESCRIBES SKETCHY!!
@Megan Patterson@facebook And this morning there was a stabbing on Gerrard? I don't know, I just got a glimpse of the TV in the station on my way in. What is going on with people!
I just had a very similar stir-crazy-borderline-cabin-fever Saturday night. My walk was to the liquor store and back.
"Brought a baguette back, NBD."
HI I LOVE YOU.
@Hambulance AGREED, baller move.
@Hambulance That drawing is adorable.
@Hambulance Based on my experiences with Israeli airport security, I'm not ever going to smuggle anything in there EVER.
@laurel Yes, baguette revealed x-ray style is THE panel.
My dad brings all kinds of weird shit* into Israel from Hong Kong and China, since he's there for business a couple months a year. One of these days we're sure he'll be caught, but he doesn't seem to be worried.
* like fruit, flowers, and hashish. (My family = odd)
I'm just impressed that a baguette could last the flight from Paris to Israel and not turn into a substance harder than adamantium-coated diamonds.
Ahahhahhahaaaa--the razor part is awesome! BUT WAIT! Why were the legs hairy if you just used it the night before?
Pits. Shaved the pits.
@Esther C. Werdiger That's what I figured as I was typing, but wondered if it was somehow wrong to ask (I don't know...)! I would totally do the very same thing--so no one invite me to your house if you don't like that sort of thing. On the flip side, if you ever show up here, you go on and share my razor (I'll warn you though, it sometimes sits there unused for a long while... check for telltale oxidation first).
@Esther C. Werdiger very important when stealth-stealing the use of a razor. Don't shave anything they can see. I've used this trick many a time.
@Esther C. Werdiger Good choice. I feel like I can let the leg hair go every now and then, but the pits must be shaved--even if it means secretly borrowing a friend's razor and then lying to her as she is telling you that you should just secretly borrow it.
@Bebe I sort of feel like this too. Like, maybe the legs are too big of an endeavor but I am still being a vigilant groomer if I swipe the armpits with the razor daily. I realize this is a total scam to justify my own laziness, especially because I hardly grow any hair under my arms anyway... but I'm doing something
Seeing a new League of Ordinary Ladies post always makes me extraordinarily happy.
@Maria I know! I was going through withdraw like symptoms from not having a new LOOL post in a while.
MORE always and forever!
Agh! This happens to me so often, when I tell someone I will see a movie with them, but then like 3 weeks passes and someone else asks me and I don't know the protocol! What is the protocol??
@Prairie Dawn The protocol is to call your friend with whom you made the pact and tell them, "Hey I am going to see XYZ in 1 hour. You coming?" and then they can either join you or release you from your obligation to wait and see the movie with them.
@Prairie Dawn Go both times, but on your second trip, just pretend like you never saw it. This will be difficult, but it will greatly improve your acting and fake surprise face!
@Prairie Dawn There is a statute of limitations of 2 weeks on any movie pact.
@Prairie Dawn This is how I ended up seeing "The Devil Wears Prada" THREE TIMES in the movie theater in a matter of two weeks. Because I told a friend I'd save it for her! Then saw it with my aunt first and I felt bad so I saw it with my friend then went BACK again to see it with my other friend and her sister. Accchhhhhgghhhhhhhh!
@Prairie Dawn I believe the protocol is to see the movie multiple times while keeping it a secret from the original movie pact person. Then during the Oscars say something like, "The Help was such a stupid movie, I can't believe I saw it twice in the theater". To which movie pact person will say, "Wait, you saw it after we saw it?". Then you will accidentally say no and start nervous sweating/laughing/apologizing.
@jbird oooghhh yes i hated. HATED. the Help. SO. MUCH. smdh.
@Prairie Dawn If there's a movie I want to see badly, and a friend tries to get me to commit to seeing it with her, I'll say, "OK, but I'm going to see it in the first week it's open [or whatever my time frame is - sometimes opening night], will that work?" That way, if it doesn't work out in that time, I don't feel guilty for seeing it without her.
1) Yaaaaaay ordinary ladies! I totally thought the punch line in the Paris one was going to be "Why would you worry about showing us your hairy legs? We are French!".
2) All these books are on sale at Harlequin.com, and they are books about COWBOYS. If anyone wants to buy me The Cowboy's Secret Son or Big City Cowboy, that would be fine!
@wee_ramekin Oh, dear. You have just changed my weekend plans into one giant western.
@wee_ramekin I did too! And OMG COWBOYS! I wish the slush pile of romances I have been helping with had cowboys in them, but I think they just do contemporary romances? Not as good as cowboys, in my opinion.
@wee_ramekin COWBOY ROMANCES!
I am gonna go get out my boots!
@wee_ramekin Wouldn't you rather read about BOTSWANA METAL COWBOYS?! http://www.vice.com/read/atlas-hoods-botswanas-cowboy-metalheads
@wee_ramekin Bless you, sweet wonderful little rammy. I am five western romances richer!
@tortietabbie Heee! Which ones (if you don't mind sharing?!)?
I feel like I have a special bond with LOOL. I will go a couple of days without checking the Hairpin, then suddenly I have this urge, like my Hairpin sense tingles. Suddenly I MUST click on the link to the Haripin, and there it is! LOOL is the first post. It's magic! Magically awesome I tell you!
ohhh i have a terrible habit of just using people's razors and not telling them. like my old roommate's (she was richer/less cheap than i and always had awesome ones whereas i always had like horrible one-blade bic ones. whatever, bic, stick to pens.) also my boyfriend's, like waaaay too early in the relationship for that kind of thing. but also oh my god the joy of an ultra-heavy-duty man razor.
@lighter fluid I just buy the man razors because as far as I can tell the only difference is that they are blue instead of pink and several dollars cheaper. So I can buy a pack of blue 4-blade razors for the same cost of the pink 2-blade razors.
Seriously. Go look at the mens' razors. Unless you are irrationally attached to girly colored bathroom toiletries.
I missed you so much! It's been like forever since the last LOL comic. My life felt really empty for awhile there.
Shhhh I'm here now shhhhhh
i have always heard that dude razors are sharper, more durable, and/or better than women's razors in many other ways. i am skeptical. can anyone confirm or refute this rumor?
@Rosemary McClure They are. Fact.
@Rosemary McClure yes they are. I always used my dad's when I started out. The lady bics were crap. He always knew, though, which bewildered me. My teenage leg hairs were way softer than his beard hair, so how could he possibly know? One of the great mysteries of life.
@Rosemary McClure Yes they are.
@carolita I read somewhere that the men can tell because what dulls razors isn't the thickness/texture of the hair, but the surface area you are using the razor over. Beard = little surface area, legs = much larger surface area.
@Rosemary McClure I think its cos they have to use them on their face, which is way more sensitive and with potentially v dense hair growth, so the razors have to be decent to ensure they don't end up looking like a total mess.
@Rosemary McClure These are true facts. I know them because I once borrowed my lady-friend's razor to shave my face (without telling, shhh), and holy crap! Also, with a face, you can't just stop once you get started. Holy mother of god. So yeah, lady razors suck.
Hey Esther! Good stuff in this quarter's Lucky Peach! I nearly made a yipping sound on the train the other day when I spotted your drawings. Congrats!
@LornaLoo Augh I also got mine in the mail last week but haven't looked yet. Must open immediately!
My drawings.... were in Lucky Peach??
Had a quick look at that issue's contributors. You must have me confused with Vanessa Davis?? But I love her so much so THANK YOU.
@Esther C. Werdiger D'oh! I'm a jerk. it was a different Esther? Esther Pearl Watson?
haha! I embarrass myself in this comments section really a record number of times. Ordinary lyfe 2012.
@Esther C. Werdiger So wait, that's not you? Or is it you? Worlds... colliding... or not...
No, not me. I... wish?
@LornaLoo Guess I could have googled that. False alarm! Too many Esthers doing such wonderful things!
One day I'll show up in magazines without knowing, dammit.
I read something in cosmo or seventeen when I was in middle school about how sharing a razor is more dangerous when it comes to disease spreading than having unprotected sex. When I lived in a sorority house in college I didn't keep my razor in the showers with everyone else's because I was worried I was in the slutty sorority and assumed I would get leg herpes or something. I'm still weird about razors to this day.
@jbird Ahhh, yes! I was cringing so hard just at the friend's suggestion of it, and then she did it! She totally did it!!
@jbird Yep. You nick yourself, there's a bit of blood. Next person nicks themselves and there's a blood transfer. Not safe! I cringed too.
I just would like to use this talk of other people's razors to resurrect my old catch phrase: you can get hepatitis dong that.
Because you can. Get hepatitis, that is.
@Craftastrophies pssh you can get hepatitis doing all sorts of awesome stuff
@Danzig! This is why it made an excellent catch phrase.
And then a friend bought me this.
@Craftastrophies I just came down here a day late to say: love your typo.
@Craftastrophies Also, staph. Methycillin-resistant staph (MRSA), in some cases.
Seriously, don't do it. That shit will EAT YOUR FLESH.
@wee_ramekin Rrrrggghhhh, I had MRSA (probably) (they never exactly said) (but it probably was) a few weeks ago. Caught it before it turned into necrotizing fasciitis (yeah, just dwell on that term for a minute), but I was still in the hospital for like four days being intravenously pumped full of the most hardcore antibiotics they have, and I also had to have oral antibiotics for a week afterward.
MRSA: v. bad news.
@miwome Oh girrrl, I am so sorry. We learned about MRSA in my microbiology class, and that shit is awful.
Note to you: apparently once you have had MRSA, you're more susceptible to getting it again, so make sure you don't share razors/needles/whatever with anyone. I'm glad you're doing fine now!
Esther, I just wanted to say that you are too awesome to sit at home and wait for some boy to call you!
(this concludes our daily "Bebe Sounds Like Everyone's Mother" broadcast. But seriously, you are. F him indeed!)
I don't know if I've specifically commented to say this before, but these are just so consistently good and charming every single time. Also, if they were collected in like a coffee table book, I would totally buy it for myself but also give it as a gift to people who don't read indie comics but who totally should read them.
Ahh I totally use other people's razors without telling them, but I mostly only do it to people I dislike (weird revenge? Don't judge me, internet).
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSS OK!!!!! ( We miss you!) I don't know why I felt the need to tell you the razor is in the shower-there are 3 things in there, it's impossible to miss it.
League of Ordinary Ladies is so odd sometimes. On many levels I completely relate to it, but in other ways Esther's life does not seem ordinary at all. "This one time I was in Bangkok on Valentine's Day..." "I was in Paris last week, NBD..."
Yayyy Esther! Glad you're back!
I did the same thing as the cinema trip...
Last night I walked on the ferry. The ferry crossed the lake to the island. I stayed on the ferry. The ferry then crossed back to the city. I got off where I started.
Some very smart people have been suggesting that men's razors > lady razors. This had never occurred to me before (I figured there would be razor equality?), and now I am wondering: does anyone use men's razors to shave their upper lip hair? Is it better than with a Venus, etc.? Or are you an Advanced Lady Depilator who uses Nair or some other product with great results? I am an ethnic girl, so there's a lot of voluminous hair on my head, but sometimes, a little, on my face, and I need it to chill out.
@lamigra I use mini razors that they sell for your bikini line for my upper lip hair - something that was recommended to me when I was getting laser hair removal there. And then of course 3 years of laser hair removal didn't get rid of it all so I am back to waxing.
But yeah, tiny bikini area razors.
@insouciantlover oooh. i'm doing this. is there any brand you'd recommend?
great work, thank you. i always follow web sites. thanks for sharing. Fıkra .
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