So much has been happening in the world of skinny jeans these past few years. There were the skinny jeans for him ("ex-girlfriend jeans"), there were the drop-crotch skinny jeans, there was the parody video about skinny jeans being so skinny they ruined a man's life, and now* there is the reality that skinny jeans can actually be so skinny that they ruin people's lives, in a way. ("I said, 'I'm just letting you girls know, this can happen to you.'"*) How have skinny jeans changed and/or ruined your life, on a scale of one to 100?
*Ten days ago.
**In regard to belts, to be fair.
Do any of you guys watch Cougar Town? Because there's this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACQm8AyGWL4
I experienced that for the first time yesterday. At first I was so excited to fit into the skinniest skinny jeans! And then I wanted to cry on the subway. I was also hungover.
i wear skinny jeans alllllmost exclusively. my nerves do feel a little compressed, come to think of it.
I am nervous about being the first commenter, but I have to say: I love, and have always loved skinny jeans. I am not a super-skinny lady, but I have pretty muscular legs, and I find that less-than-skinny jeans are not as flattering. My favorites are AG, so I guess the way Skinny Jeans Have Ruined My Life is that I have now spent $180 on jeans multiple times.
@apb I am the same way in that I have muscular (but nice! I think my legs are great!) legs, and non-skinny jeans are slightly less flattering. Like, I have a pair of knocking-around jeans that are boyfriend cut (I think), and they're suuuuper comfortable, but not super flattering. Skinny jeans, by contrast? Make my legs look fantastic.
My problem is that I have VERY short legs, so anything but skinny jeans tend to make my legs look even shorter by adding width to them. Skinny jeans lengthen me as a whole. Plus, IMO, boots only look good with skinny jeans and I wear boots 7 months out of the year (thanks, Chicago!).
So yeah, I love them and hope they never go away.
@apb I am also in the muscular legs category, and I really like how skinny jeans look on me too. Although, I find I have trouble getting skinny jeans that fit properly.. I tend to have to get pants with waists that are too big in order to pull them over my apparently gigantic calves.
@apb yes! I need my calves to be on display basically always, as they are beauteous. Skinny jeans let that be the case. I recently got back into jeans after years of skirts only, and the skinnies are what I feel best in because they're most like tights.
@olivebee & everyone else: whoa. I'm kind of in shock at how badly I had been doing it wrong. I have very muscular and very short legs and had thought that meant skinny jeans were not for me (or at least not for me + heels). I did finally buckle down and buy a pair a few weeks ago but still get nervous about wearing them. (admittedly I get nervous about wearing anything that makes it look like I put any effort into my clothes... I was scarred by sparkly sweatpants as a child)
@apb et al. I am in this same club! My legs are rather musclebound and shortish (thanks, genetics + bike commuting!), and I like skinny (or skinny-ish) jeans because they show off my highly dainty ankles/don't make my legs look like giant, solid columns. Though come to think of it, I usually just get jeans that fit my waist/hips/thighs and alter the legs to be somewhere in the murky zone between straight and skinny. R. Crumb fantasy gams 4EVR!
I'm not going to lie, my favourite pair of jeans I've ever owned are a pair of Lucky skinny jeans that are now wearing out because I wore them to death and they are, admittedly, supertight. I don't care. They are hot and I love them and I'm sad they're dying.
But I found a new love in two new pairs of Express skinny jeans. Supertight? Yes. I don't care, I love them, and the only bad part is that they are completely impossible to take off or put on in anything resembling an alluring manner, so if I am disrobing/re...robing in the presence of other people I have to...it's hard. I can't even.
@The Lady of Shalott: I love skinny jeans too, but they sure do get in the way of sexytimes. I haven't found a non-stupid way to take them off yet. It's gotten to the point where if I suspect a nonzero % chance of sexytimes, I'll plan my outfit around not having skinny jeans.
@ietapi The solution I have found: If sexytimes are immediately in the offing, excuse yourself very briefly without giving a reason to the bathroom/other room, remove pants, and then reappear with a cheeky grin. This is received well by the other party 99% of the time.
@ietapi What, do you not find peeling the wrapper off a Slim Jim to be sexy???
@Emby: I haven't yet mastered peeling my jeans apart with my teeth. I'm working on it.
@The Lady of Shalott you really do sound like the actual best.
@ietapi You are totally thinking too much about it, skinny jeans are everywhere now. This means that it is the norm to awkwardly remove your pants. In fact make the sexytimes recipient peel them off ;) If they have work harder they will appreciate the reward more, this is science! Although @The Lady of Shallott does have a good idea, if you do indeed feel awkward about the peel process.
I have what is politely referred to as "gymnast thighs" and skinny jeans (along with leggings) have been absolute misery for me for the past six years. There are not flattering to me and there is no way of making them more flattering. There's nothing attractive about your large thighs looking like they've been swallowed by denim pythons who are strangling them to death.
@parallel-lines Can we start a society of girls with "gymnast thighs." I seriously think most fashion is hostile to our body type. Except blessed dresses.
@parallel-lines. Yes! As a tall woman with huge thighs I've been waiting for what seems like forever to get the skinny jeans and platform heels trends to die. Die! Die already.
@parallel-lines I have soccer-player calves, so finding a pair of truly skinny jeans that can fit over my calves is a miracle. I've had multiple sales associates tell me that I should "just size up a few sizes" ... and what, hold the top up with suspenders?
That said, when I find skinny/straight jeans that fit me, I like them (I like the urban outfitters (sigh) BDG cigarette mid-rise).
@parallel-lines I thought so too, being a chicken-drumstick legged girl, but I wear skinnines with knee-high boots & it seems to even out. ETA this was a Hairpinners suggestion that I am glad I followed!
@parallel-lines
Denim pythons!
@iceberg They look okay in boots but I don't wanna have to wear boots all the time! Just some of the time.
@snuffleupagus I have that problem with tall boots! Why don't designers want me to have boots? And yeah, I don't think really skinny jeans are for me.
@Lindsey Bahr@facebook You know what I say? "Fuck it.". I'm fat, y'all and if I only wore flattering things, everything I owned would be black and a wrap dress and then I would die of BOREDOM. I'll fuckin' wear skinny jeans, with these big-ass thighs and ham calves and ALSO I am not wearing heels because they hurt and I don't give a fuuuck about lengthening my squatty self.
Everyone wear skinny jeans if you want to! Who cares! Life is short! Fashion is trivial! Fuck the haters! Your legs are hot!
@smack As a lady with an incredibly thick lower half, is it okay to say that I love you for this comment and I hope all of your dreams come true?
@snuffleupagus soccer player calves + gymnast thighs + a healthy badonk + small waist + short legs means no skinny jeans for me. It's not so much a question of them being unflattering (which they are), as it is finding some magical pair that would actually fit properly in all aforementioned places at the same time, WHILST being in a short enough length for me not to trip on them. And shortening is a delicate business, unless your magical jeans come with a magical tailor.
"Tight jeans: Squeezing into matchstick jeans with cheese-stick legs cannot only cause nerve compression, it can interfere with digestion, as the Archives of Internal Medicine noted in 1993."
Ayyyyy. Such judgement.
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas I actually, um, have had GI issues from wearing skinny jeans and other clothes that compress the abdomen (especially spanx). So there's that :(
@parallel-lines Aw, I'm not trying to say that doesn't exist! And ouch, that sucks, I'm sorry. :( :( I just take mild offense at the creative suggestion that this is due to one cramming one's "cheesestick legs" where they don't belong.
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas What are "cheese-stick" legs anyway? Like fried mozzarella cheese sticks? Or string cheese?
@yamtoes I definitely imagined string cheese. Like, in comparison to a very slim, solid matchstick, the legs in question are somewhat wobbly, quite a bit thicker, and composed mainly of fat.
@parallel-lines I get bloat-y/gassy when I wear snug, high-waisted pants to work. But I think it's more the stress... although I know the stress won't change, so sweater dresses FTW. AHHH MORE HAIRPIN OVERSHARING.
@liznieve MEEEE TOOOO. And it's like, really really painful makes me cry and ruins my day kinda bloating and gassy. The kind that makes me roll around on the floor because it hurts so bad. Not fun!
@parallel-lines YES. There is no worse feeling than JUST. WANTING. TO FART.
I can never meet any of you IRL.
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas: For some reason I imagined churros when I read 'cheese stick legs'.
Mmmm, churros.
@liznieve Me too, it is the worst and hardest to explain problem :(
@liznieve @ parallel-lines @bitzyboozer god. yes. it took me so long to figure out what was going on, too. "Why am i so... miserable?" When I had my own office, I totes unbuttoned that shit at my desk. The days where i wear a belted sweater over a particularly billowy dress are the cutest/most miserable days.
Skinny jeans are a gateway drug. I bought my first pair a year ago and now I have multiple tattoos and wear prescription wayfarer eyeglasses. Warn your children/friends about the dangers of skinny jeans before it's too late.
@spoondisaster I LEARNED IT FROM YOU, OKAY? I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU.
@JessicaLovejoy It'll make you feeel goood goood goood...
@JessicaLovejoy As my mom always told me, "do as I say, not as I do."
I'm just going to stand over here in my bootcuts and yell. Skinny jeans are only really useful when boots are involved, the rest of the time they just don't look awesome(on me). Bootcut forever!
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I have a really hard time finding bootcut jeans that don't have a ton of whiskering and detailing, where do you get yours?
@parallel-lines I just go to Old Navy and they have normal person washes. So does the Gap.
@parallel-lines Used to be exclusively a Gap jeans girl, but they're outrageously expensive now so I have wandered. I've had some luck at American Eagle and Pac Sun, of all places. (Do not try on the super-skinnys at Pac Sun, you will not be able to escape their clutches on your calves/ankles and will have to have a friend help get them off.)
@parallel-lines Express! I swear by the "barely boot". Plus they have different fits for the waist. I love them.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher "Skinny jeans are only really useful when boots are involved" and yet, Bootcut jeans get the title "Bootcut." I swear, half the antagonism toward skinny jeans is that they're called "skinny."
I'm no professional jeans-namer, but I think the whole SYSTEM is out of order!
I tried on some Forever 21 Skinny Jeans in Red (note - I was in the Plus section of Forever 21 buying Skinny Jeans from a sales child the size of tic tac). Anyway.. the skinny jeans fit everywhere BUT the calf, HUH? My big ole bootay and thick thighs no problem. They were so tight I was hopping around on one leg trying to peel them off/overheating/sweating making quite the ruckus. Finally, I sat on floor, red skinny jeans peeled to knees inching them down, wiping my brown, grunting.
I rewarded myself at LUSH for my hard work.
I am not a masochist, so I don't wear anything so tight I can't breathe/walk/poop right.
I have sensitive skin and have to be careful what kind of detergent I use though.
And those among us who have always been anti-skinny jean feel smug in our knowledge of those horrible things.
and what about jeggings????
@ginalouise Good in boots! Bad in everything else! And only if they're more to the jeans side of the spectrum, not the lycra-leggings-printed-with-seams-really-now-dudes?
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Ah the printed seams! The butt gives the impression of being too exposed in jeggings, unless they have pockets sewn on. Gap makes some ok jeggings though!
@ginalouise True confession time: I have a pair of jeggings (with rivets and a fly and everything!) from Express that I really do love. WITH BOOTS, ONLY WITH BOOTS.
@ginalouise whatever, I'm wearing jeggings and boots right now (hah, the same ones I was wearing the last time I commented about clothes on the hairpin). Mine are definitely more extra-stretchy skinny jeans. They have real seams and metal rivets and pockets and everything. Old Navy's skinny not-jeggings are too skinny around the calf for me, while the ones they call jeggings stretch enough to be comfortable. And also, because they're so stretchy they are not compressing my organs!
Plus also they are the right size. I think the problems of the "middle-aged or older men" are not being caused by wearing skinny jeans, but by wearing pants that are blatantly too small. 7 centimeters! that is like, 2 inches of cutting into your flesh! Wear clothes that fit, people!
@ginalouise Here is where I admit that everywhere I go, I go in a pair of $9 Forever 21 jeggings. They look exactly like jeans in every way, pockets and zippers and all, except that they are absurdly comfortable and cost $9.
@werewolfbarmitzvah Ahem, only very recently a pair of $30 Zara BLACK jeggings with REAL POCKETS and made of REAL DENIM died. I cannot find their replacement. A real loss, those fuckers were SO COMFY. Aaaand I totally would wear them with, like, my $400 shirt-dress thingies and they looked GREAT. Sigh.
@Lorelei@twitter ok I don't know why 7 divided by 2.5 came out to "roughly 2" in my mind, but really these dudes are wearing pants almost 3 inches too small around the waist. I don't understand this. I would not be able to keep such ill-fitting pants on long enough to develop digestive problems.
@ginalouiseI was just going to ask about jeggings! I recently purchased my first pair of black leggings as an alternative to all of my fun, patterned, multi-colored, but kinda uncomfortably snug tights. And OH MY, what I have I been doing all my life without leggings!? They are so comfy!! (Don't worry, they are worn under dresses, not as pants). I feel like I’m cheating. I had gone so long with sacrificing waist-comfort for cute dresses in the winter. The day after my first legging experience I wore my skinny jeans with a long flowy shirt, but oooooooooooooh the tight waist was killing me! My skinny jeans fit great, except there is no stretch in the waist. I am constantly sitting at my desk job so any little bit of belly (or a lot, depending on the week) I have is in a constant state of “ugggggh, let me breeeeathe”. I’ve always made fun of jeggings, but I started thinking that it might actually be acceptable? But ONLY with boots and long shirts that cover my butt? It wouldn’t be too noticeable, right? I could feel like I’m lounging in PJs all day and stuff my face at lunch and dinner without a second thought. I need permission before taking the leap! Help!
@liznieve If you're in the NYC area, Uniqlo has misleadingly-named "legging pants" which are pretty much the same thing. Stretchy real-denim (not knit) pants that are amazingly flattering and about $30.
@dinos ah-HA! I can taste victory. THANKS!
I look like a total tool in skinny jeans. I had a pair on for about 10 minutes and my husband actually, truly, did a spit-take.
I bought my first pair of skinny jeans right before going to visit my then-boyfriend in Dublin for 5 days. A super cold snap hit (meaning freezing outside but super hot inside everywhere) + lots of walking about + so much tea and milk = awful situation for my ladybits.
I've never even considered putting skinny jeans on my body. I'm maybe the last woman in the world who prefers wide leg over everything other cut - and dresses over pants 99% of the time.
@tortietabbie Dresses/skirts forever! Man, I hate pants.
@meetapossum Pants is just another word for oppression.
@tortietabbie down with pants!
@tortietabbie Oh, man, I am totally breaking out that quote on the first skirtastic day of the year.
I always feel like Homer Simpson in the episode where Krusty becomes a "serious" comedian and tells everyone to burn their money: "I hope he tells us to burn our pants.. these things are driving me nuts!"
(Later) "Don't you hate pants??"
@tortietabbie Dresses are the best thing EVER in the heat of the summer. Damn I feel bad for guys when the heat hits. Nothing like a cool breezy dress or skirt. Although having the dress blow up in public is quite embarrassing. Once getting on the bus, with a line behind me and my hands full (including coffee). It resulted in everyone seeing my ass and me spilling coffee on myself. I wished for pants that day.
@Mel I flashed a construction guy yesterday and apologised profusely.
It reminds me of this Golden Girls quote:
"My belt came loose in front of a construction site. Nobody whistled and two guys went home sick."
My calves are too big for most skinny jeans (and most boots), but that doesn't stop me from wearing them anyway. I just need to find some that go up to my belly button. What's with all this low rise crap?
@akapocalypse New York and Company jeans come up to my belly button. I have to make sure to belt mine or they slip, but I have really narrow hips relative to the rest of me, so that will happen no matter what.
@akapocalypse I knoooooow! I don't understand how high-waisted jeans could have earned the moniker "mom jeans" if they weren't at one point somewhat ubiquitous and easy to obtain, and if that is the case, why it is not the case now.
For the record, these problems could maybe be solved if I were willing to shop at Urban Outfitters but you CAN'T MAKE ME.
@akapocalypse Levis makes some high rise ones that have a nice amount of stretch to them (in the bold curve series) but they don't many them in more than two washes. They're not grandma jeans in as much as they are 'I have a really long waist and don't want to show my buttcrack' jeans.
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas Guhhhh, I hate when I find something I love in the bargain bin or somewhere...and then it's from Urban Outfitters. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME EITHER. (Solidarity!)
@akapocalypse I found that the Slim cut of H&M skinny jeans come all the freaking way up to my belly button, without the interesting front pocket issues that some higher-rise jeans seem to have. I think they come in several washes, though I went straight for the plain dark ones.
@akapocalypse I just tried on some pretty cute high-waisted jeans at Anthropologie. I think they're some kind of store brand, with some goddamn twee name--Pequot and the Pimpernel? Parakeet and the Pumpkin? God. I don't know. But! They definitely hit you in a small part of your waist, and if you have some junk in your trunk, be prepared to SHOW it. My ass looked tremendous (as in large) in them, compared to where they hit my waist.
@akapocalypse
Urban Outfitters makes my ultimate jean. It's their BDG Grazer Ankle Length Skinny jeans (I'm only 5'2" so I don't have to hem them this way!). They're stretchy and they aren't low rise! Only downside is they wear out after a few months.
@Woman Laughing Alone With Boas I feel like I'm going to have to shop at UO eventually, but I'm not going to like it!
I took a long time to come around to skinny jeans, maybe partially based on the fact that I got a donk. But prob mostly because I just liked boot cut jeans better. Now I have mostly skinny jeans. Ugh.
Did anyone else catch the $10 jeans at Uniqlo in NYC a few months back? Fucking great. My sister ended up taking in the legs (yes, taking in the legs) so one pair would actually be "skinny." TEN DOLLAR JEANS, GUYS-- AND THEY ARE PERFECT BASIC DARK BLUE JEANS
Skinny jeans are dangerous, though- Mister and I look like the worst fucking people ever when we both wear them (not that he wears those ridiculous "I stole these from my girlfriend" skinny jeans that just mash a dude's junk all up over his thigh, just relatively narrow ones)
@Third Wave Housewife Hahahaha seriously, with my current haircut and my bf and my shared love for skinny jeans, flannel, and cardigans... we kinda look like the douchiest couple sometimes.
@Emmanuelle Cunt We're both spindly (it seems more accurate than skinny) and have a height difference of about a foot, both of us wear glasses (mine, of course, are giant because I am a tiny lady and we wear big glasses if we want to look douchey), and we both have way too much hair (his is blonde and down to his hips, mine is brown and a few inches shorter than that) and wear each other's shirts so what I am saying is I challenge you to a douche-off?
edit: AND HE HAS ILL-ADVISED FACIAL HAIR (IT'S RED)
@Third Wave Housewife My husband once accidentally wore a pair of my (straight-leg) jeans all day. Neither of us noticed until the next day when he picked them up again.
@Third Wave Housewife I might be losing this douche-off. I have sideswept bangs and a super short haircut, usually have on super old Doc Martens and in general... boy clothes, and wear basically a lot of black and gray and have big glasses. He has super-short hair and a full beard, wears a lot more (and a lot more traditionally feminine) colors than I do, and has rectangular glasses. DOUCHEFIGHT!
EDIT: People keep assuming that we are obnoxious American hipster tourists because he is black and I'm white. But it's not true. I am the only obnoxious American in this couple
@Emmanuelle Cunt wait where do you live?? because germans definitely pronounce kant like "cunt" and i have seen your username and wondered before!
I'm going to go ahead and plant my flag as far away from skinny jeans as I can. If you like them, that's great, but as a trend that's lasted forever and often choked out every other kind of jeans a store offers, skinny jeans are the symptom of some bad shit, in my opinion.
@itmakesmewonder I know, I hate how when something gets popular it crowds everything else out of the marketplace. There have been actual YEARS in which I could not buy, say, any sneakers or sweaters because of my aversion to the prevailing trends (not to say there's anything wrong with specific trends and people who like them, but leave some room out there for those of us who prefer something else!).
Fact: I have been buying men's skinny jeans because my monster calves fit in there, for like years now, and they are the greatest.
I used to love bootcut jeans as much as anyone else but now I'm pretty sure I never want to have to watch to make sure my hems don't drag in the dirt, ever again in my entire life.
Plus I used to have kind of a hard time coordinating with blue jeans, color-wise, and now I wear black and gray ones all the time. so there! fuck you, colors!!!
@Emmanuelle Cunt Ugh but sometimes when my socks poke out of my jeans I want to screeeeeam.
@Third Wave Housewife Sometimes I want to put on socks and I have to take off my skinny jeans to do it and it makes me grumpy.
@Third Wave Housewife I just buy 'em kinda long and then cuff up or down according to what shoes I'm wearing? Plus I kind of like visible socks under ankle boots, to be honest.
Uh, do any ladies have recommendations for cute black chelsea ankle boots, btw? I'm on the search.
@parallel-lines I actually have multiple pairs of jeans that are so tight that I have to put my socks on before I put on my jeans and every time I do so I feel like I am a frustrated slave to fashion. But I love my jeans and I love my socks, so....I just put up with it? It sucks, though.
@Emmanuelle Cunt PFFFFT long? Every pair of jeans I've ever bought in my life has been about six inches too long and I usually hem them...and skinny jeans just have a way of creeping up into my knees.
@Third Wave Housewife OK now I have no idea what the sock issue could be, like, I think I need a physics style diagram of your sock and pants situation.
@Emmanuelle Cunt If a hem on regular pants is misjudged by half an inch, you're fine...on skinny jeans, you are SOCKS
@Emmanuelle Cunt I have same monster calves! What brand do you buy?
@bombed_pop Cheap Monday!!! http://www.cheapmonday.com/
@Emmanuelle Cunt Are you in the US? Because I know Topshop here (UK) have some, and so do Dorothy Perkins (much cheaper) I think they're really nice, don't know if you can get them though!
@Emmanuelle Cunt "Fuck you, colours!" is basically how I get dressed in the morning.
@Emmanuelle Cunt Really? I've bought their lady jeans and I swear every pair is a different size! no QC. And are they loose in the thigh or tight all over? Thanks!!
@Flora Poste EDIT: I just realized you are probably talking about my chelsea boot search! I will try and hit up Dorothy Perkins. Pretty sure I can get everything from the UK shipped to the Continent for fairly cheap.
@bombed_pop I have no idea??? I just like their man jeans and think the 100% cotton ones age beautifully too. I buy them loose enough for, like, comfortable sitting and bike riding and things.
@Emmanuelle Cunt I am just all stupidly staring at the tool on the urban outfitters website and his are all baggy in the thighs and I'm all, but I don't want baggy thighs! Just calf fitting so that I don't have to constantly pull the waist up because my calves want to pull my pants down!
@Emmanuelle Cunt - don't know where you're based or what their deal is with shipping internationally anyway, but river island and asos had a bunch of super cute chelsea ankle boots last time i looked!
I really like my calves, so you can pry my "skinny jeans" out of my cold dead fingers.
Also, to horrify some of you, I did a google search last night for "plus size acid-washed skinny jeans" because I WANT TO BE RIDICULOUS, DAMMIT!
(And yes, Torrid sells 'em, which is where I decided I needed them, but they don't fucking fit right!)
@cherrispryte Can we have a little plus-size skinny jean love thread? I only have one pair but I kind of adore wearing them after years and years of the "wear pants that are as wide as your widest point all the way down" bullshit!
@anachronistique @cherrispryte I was juuust about to write something! I ripped skinny jeans to pieces until I finally tried them and now I can't go back to bootcut. I wear this pair, which to be honest, isn't skin tight on my ankles (so maybe more straight jeans than skinny, oh well), but I like them like that. Way more flattering than I ever would have thought.
@anachronistique Most definitely! At first, I wore skinny jeans because I was all "fuck you I can be trendy too!" but now, when I try on non-skinny jeans, I think my legs don't look good.
There was awhile there I was obsessed with one of Macy's in-house lines of skinny jeans - damn things fitted me PERFECTLY. I was scouring the internet, ebay, etc for these pants, because chub-rub ensured that they'd last me 8-10 months at the most, and, of course, they were discontinued after a year. RIP, perfect pants.
@andrea disaster Me toooooo. I still wear bootcut jeans all the time, but I like skinny jeans way more than I expected! And the super-elasticized pair I have are so surprisingly comfy.
Ugh, now I want to go buy jeans. Budgeting ruins all my fun.
@cherrispryte I've never heard the term "chub rub" before. I always referred to that "beginning-of-the-end" weakening of the thighs in jeans as "the abysmal crotch rip"
@anachronistique Budgeting is why I can't have every all the pretty dresses. (And ahh, the link didn't work, I meant this pair.)
@Third Wave Housewife I can't claim "chub rub" as my own - it's a pretty common phrase in the world of fat-friendly fashion. (Though more frequently used to describe the painful-as-hell chafing that sometimes occurs when walking long distances while wearing a dress or similar.)
@andrea disaster I am waiting till payday to buy eight thousand pairs of tights and knee-high socks from Sock Dreams.
@cherrispryte it won't totally solve the chub-rub issue in dresses if it's particularly hot out (sorry, August), but Monistat Anti-Chafing Gel is AWESOME.
Trouser jeans are my jam; trouser jeans 4eva!
@singstrix And that sound they make from slightly dragging on the floor sounds like an appreciative crowd following you around and murmuring about your hotness!
I have discovered good straight-leg jeans (Gap's), and therefore will not be needing any of your skinny jeans, thank you.
On the other side of the jeans spectrum: wide-leg! WIDEST LEG. Like hey sailor wide-leg, please.
@DH@twitter I love wide leg jeans. But I will wear any kind of jean at least once. Well, not those drop crotch ones.
@Megan Patterson@facebook
I have this pair of rather excellent grey bell-bottomed jeans and I never know what shoes to wear them with. I just want the Seventies to come back! I guess I need some platforms, but the hem is just long enough to hit properly when I'm wearing flats. Hoom. :/
@DH@twitter Wide leg with the high waist! Trouser-cut, I think? I love them! And I still go the skinny-jean route on occasion.
@DH@twitter
I used to have real navy (of course) blue sailor's pants, with the 13-button flap front.
And old man with an anchor tattoo informed me that sailors called the fastening system "13 chances to change your mind."
@atipofthehat
AMAZING.
@DH@twitter Straight-leg FTW! Levi's makes a straight-leg mid-rise that is perfect: fitted but easy to put on/take off and no threat of the dreaded butt-crack overshare.
@atipofthehat: Some dress shirts have that horizontal orientation button on the bottom; I call this the 'drunk check' button.
@DH@twitter I actually wrote in to Ask A Girl about how to wear shoes that aren't platforms with wide leg jeans! Are you listening, Jane? Jaaaaaane?
@DH@twitter WEDGES. Also Joe Fresh has sailor pants like that right now, but they don't make them in my size.
I have never ever ever been able to get myself into a pair of skinny jeans -- as in literally, I cannot get them over my calves. Straight leg jeans are basically skinny jeans on me, but even then I look like I'm marketing some denim sausages. I either have the most disproportionate legs in the universe or .... yeah, I guess that's it.
@christonacracker You're not the only one! Admittedly, I've only ever tried on a few pairs because I don't regularly shop retail (and don't usually bother with the denim section at Goodwill because I can only wear jeans on the weekends anyhow); but they JUST DON'T WORK. I made myself a pair of semi-skinny jeans the other weekend, though! Just took some bootcuts I inherited from a friend, turned them inside-out, pinned, and sewed those legs up.
@christonacracker I feel you. I have what I call tree trunk legs--big thighs and big calves (no chicken legs for me!). I've been stubbornly straightleg/bootcut for years, but I have bought a pair of Levi's that are slightly skinny (ie, no problems putting them on and off, no circulation trouble--btw, egads!), though I sometimes feel they highlight the bigness of my calves. Gah.
Surely there must be a difference between "skinny jeans" and "extremely skintight jeans"?
Oh, I love 'em, especially in warm weather with pointy flats, but also for the ease with which they go inside a tall boot! But I'm also a total jeans hoarder too; other than high-waist, I believe every jeans category is represented in my closet.
Whoever above asked about jeans without too much detail/whiskering, etc...? Have you tried your basic Levi's? Cheap and available in all sorts of cuts and colors. (..."colors"? Is that what I meant to say?)
@Hellcat SKINNIES AND FLATS! My favorite too, which is exactly what I'm wearing since it's 55 degrees in NYC right now.
@punkahontas So easy and so cute (though I do get sad when it's time to put the big boots away). And they're the only pants that I can wear a ballet flat with; I have fairly small feet and they disappear completely (and creepily) under bootcuts and flares.
@Hellcat I tend to wear Levis but they are way too low waisted on me and even with a belt I get into coin slot territory. But for now, it's the best I can find.
@parallel-lines Really? I can't do the ones labeled "Too, Too Super-Low" (or something stupid-sounding like that -- and "too" is right) but the "Superlow" is not bad at all despite its name. I usually get mine at Kohl's in the juniors' section but I realized that there is another area (in Kohl's, anyway) with more Levi's that are not "too" anything (stretchy/skinny/low/teenagery) -- just more classic cuts. That's the section where I got my too-big-on-purpose "apartment jeans"! I'm not sure why exactly they're separated but it was a happy surprise to me once I figured it out.
I've yet to buy a pair of skinny jeans, because if boot cut jeans were good enough in high school (cough *90's* cough) why aren't they good enough now. Okay, but I've decided to try and catch up with the times and try out a pair of skinny jeans, and got a pair of super hot brown leather lace up boots to go over them, and now I just need to actually go shopping and try on pants to find a pair that come down to my feet and don't cut off circulation on my non-existant waist.
I've been dying to tell someone this all day: I've been doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred for 22 days, and when I put on my skinny jeans this morning, I noticed my thighs are touching a little bit less.
@punkahontas I just ordered it from Amazon because I got into a spiral on your blog!
@Anna Jayne@twitter YAY! It's definitely getting me results faster than anything I've ever tried, even better than when I was working with a personal trainer. I just started watching what I eat too (on Monday, haha) so I have high hopes.
Today, I learned skinny jeans. Miss Kinnian, says
its important, because, it makes your legs look better,
she said somebody could lose a lot of money if
their jeans have flares on them I dont have
any money, and I dont see how skinnyjeans keeps
you from losing it.
But she says, everybody uses skinnyjeans, so Ill use
Them too.”
I get my jeans at Delia's. I flirted with high end jeans once, and they were awesome, but I can't wrap my head around paying more than $100 for a pair of jeans, when I spend 99% of my time in either business casual or pajamas. Delia's jeans usually run about $75 for two pairs (buy one, get one half off), and they fit my disproportionately short legs perfectly - no need to hem.
I don't think I could ever wear anything so tight it affected my health. It just... wouldn't be comfortable.
(I used to be against skinny jeans until I accidentally tried some on [they were in the wrong section!]. They were comfortable and work really well with my legs! Reader, I bought them. I no longer judge.)
@SarahP I am pretty sure the waistband on my tights is not doing good things for my intestines. (Bought at CVS on the way to work because I got overconfident with the predicted high of 57 today. Whoops.)
@anachronistique OH MAN restrictive tight waistbands are the bane of my existence! Plus they make those weird rolls in my belly where there shouldn't be rolls.
(It is pretty warm outside, though! I guess it wouldn't be to the bare-legged...)
@SarahP I cut slits in the waistband on both sides and next to the back seam - weird roll problem solved! And they still stay up.
@bombed_pop This... is brillant. Thanks!
A good friend of mine in college was a very small dude, and also very into the whole punk/DIY thing. So he would buy girls' jeans from thrift shops and then modify them to be even smaller. For a while (well before the whole skinny jeans "trend") he got pretty obsessive about this, and kept re-sewing his jeans to make them tighter and tighter and tighter. Sometimes he was afraid he couldn't get them off.
It was weird!
@Jon Custer Where does the penis go???
No, really though. I knew a guy who wore really tight pants but he also had the smallest wang I have ever encountered.
@Nutmeg I don't want to anonymously disparage my buddy's wang -- while I can't speak directly to this issue, my understanding is it was at least average. I think since he was doing it custom-like, he mostly shrank only the leg and ass parts of the jeans...
I don't wear skinny jeans (hell, I only recently started wearing pants that are my actual size; MOTHERFUCKING ADULT) but I do own multiple pears of jeggings because they are far superior.
Sort of related: For guys jeans, they often have an image of all 3 or 4 styles of jean all next to each other as worn on models. Besides sometimes the extra slim, I'll be damned if I can divine a difference between slim, straight, and loose.
Like, look at this graphic! What's the difference here? http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_FRcyvypuCCQ/TRKH_pcEL_I/AAAAAAAANQ8/mNZxriotSRs/s1600/Screen+shot+2010-12-22+at+6.21.17+PM.png
@Too Much Internet As a lady CURRENTLY wearing men's Old Navy painter jeans (all your fashion thumbs up are belong to me) I can tell you they are baggy and have a hammer hook.
For the other ones, look at the knees and ankles. This is the secret. Regular are baggy knee, tapered ankle. Boot cut is narrow knee, wide ankle. Loose is baggy both. Painter is just "Loose" with the hammer hook, I'm pretty sure.
Keep in mind Old Navy makes everything a LITTLE baggy so there's not a lot of subtlety in play here.
Has anyone mentioned boyfriend skinnies yet? I have huge thighs and boyfriend skinnies (or slouchy skinnies) fit me almost like normal skinnies (aside from a little bit of droop butt). I love them, droop butt and all. So comfy.
So I think I'm the Anonymous Medical Example for this whole skinny-jeans-nerve-compression thing. Because IT HAPPENED TO MEEEEEEE.
Basically, starting in about 2004/5/whenever they got really popular, I started wearing them all the time, and I was also gaining a little weight around then, so they were extra tight around the waist/hips/thighs. But I loved this particular pair of jeans so much that I didn't care about the weird tingly sensations and numbness and dull aching that would happen if I wasn't, seriously, standing straight upright in them. Or walking. Any standing-style activity. I remember a memorable visit that my best friend and I paid to my sister in Chicago where I would, literally, take my pants off whenever we went back to her dorm, because the discomfort was so great. Somehow, this didn't give me a reality check. The discomfort got incrementally worse as I kept wearing the jeans, but I think got WAY worse when I wore them on a flight back from Korea. Different pair of jeans, but also tight, and compressing all those nerves from sitting for 12 hours was NOT a good idea.
I had to basically stop wearing pants for a while. Once I really took it seriously, I had to buy a few pairs of loose(r) pants and stockings and commit to not wearing the skinny jeans. At its worst, the numbness/tingling/aching would happen with the slightest constriction to my legs, like, even those tights I'd bought. I did best in skirts + bare legs, and still have a shit-ton of skirts from that time period (plus, they're just awesome).
I am, I guess, a cautionary tale? It's gotten better, really, but only over the course of about 3 years. I had to take it seriously, start stretching, invest in new clothes, go to acupuncture (which I think helped but I'm not sure), and just PAY ATTENTION TO MY BODY. I sleep differently now (more on my back than on my side), and ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wear sweats on plane rides.
Whew. I think this may be the longest comment I've ever left.
@kimkrypto Also - don't wear velvet underwear on a plane ride to see your boyfriend. You will ruin the romantic trip by getting a massive yeast infection. the end.
@workerbee I didn't even know you could buy velvet underwear.
I never wore skinny jeans till about a year ago when my boyfriend said I'd look really good in "ass jeans". I had no idea what he was talking about. I asked him at least five times to describe them. I figured it out after a week.
I have really thick thighs and calves and a big old butt but I love skinny jeans and you'll never take them away from me. In fact, wearing skinny jeans has kind of helped my self esteem? I'm not hiding anything with these pants so: here are my legs! Take it or leave it! Like, over time my legs have no longer become so much my "fat thighs" and "muscular calves" and "thick ankles" but rather just a categorical "my legs" which is nice.
I love my stretchy skinny jeans. they always tell you to buy a size smaller because of the stretch but I gave that up as I got older and discovered it doesn't look as shit as you think if you buy it in a normal size. I think they make most people look good even ppl with large thighs, I put my friend in a black pair with a slightly more relaxed fit, as she is a lovely lil pear, but still skinny and it looked awesome so I maintain that there is a skinny for all shapes and sizes. I'd like more options in a mid-waist though.
The only time I've ever laughed out loud alone in a department store dressing room was the time I tried on a pair of skinny jeans.
Call me nuts but I find that my vintage matchstick cords (jcrew) look best when they've gone baggy and hang on me a little rather than the way they look when they're freshly washed and skin tight. (I can't wear the skinny skinny all the way to the ankle kind because I get claustrophobic when my feet have trouble getting in and out of the leg opening. I start screaming, "GET OFFA ME!!!!"
But that's just me.