Tuesday, February 7, 2012


Paz de la Huerta Too Paz de la Huerta-y for Boardwalk Empire?

Paz de la Huerta has been uncharacteristically quiet recently, and now there's the sad news that she apparently won't be returning to Boardwalk Empire for its third season. It is perhaps the purest known example of the Touching One's Own Breasts While Watching Lana Del Rey Curse.

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I actually think the backlash after Lana's SNL performance was one of many examples of the Staring Directly at Paz de la Huerta's Self-Fondled Breasts Curse.


"I've been at peace ever since that moment" = amazing


@Ophelia This needs to get to the Dalai Lama, stat!


@Ophelia I'm all for Lana's inner peace - it can be a pretty cold and dreary world - but don't we feel like Paz de la Huerta fondles her breasts for day old bagels. Isn't that like...her move?


@Ophelia Yeah, this made me like her more than anything else, ever. That is exactly what I would have said, just "yes, my life is complete, this is the apex of history," and I would tell the story to everyone.


Do you suppose her lips are numb?


I was so sad when I heard they let Paz go from Boardwalk! Just when they were starting to make her character a person, and show she actually does know how to act!
Also I lol'd so much at that Lana Del Rey tits story. It does kind of make me like her a lot(although I am firmly in the "She's not the worst thing that happened to music guys, remember that Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan both have albumS!" camp) with her reaction, because that would totally have been my reaction to it too.


@Megan Patterson@facebook I know all the words to "Stars Are Blind", and I don't even care who knows.


@Megan Patterson@facebook Word, I was starting to enjoy Paz's character and was interested to see where they were going to take her story. I'm curious how they're going to keep people watching while also getting rid of so many of the characters.


@Megan Patterson@facebook

'Stars are Blind' is my jam, and I'm supposed to have good taste or something.


I don't suffer from that curse, but from the Hashtag at the End of the Hairpin URL Curse.


Poor Paz! She really was cut out for that character. I have no real opinions on 'ol Lana, but she has a bad case of lego hair, poor lass.


@ChaCha Is her hair real, do you think? I mean, all of it? She has so much hair. I mean, partly I'm just jealous. Can someone really have hair like that? But yeah.

Lindsey Bahr@twitter

Her voice sounds like Natalie Portman! Also, I didn't realize how spot on Kristin Wiig's hair fussing, lip-licking impression was.


You know who she reminds me of? Sherri Ann in Best of Show. The lips! The eyelash flutter! (Oh, Jennifer Coolidge...)


@figwiggin I really want to talk to Jennifer Coolidge in real life. I bet she's awesome.


Singing in Paris for Thanksgiving. Mmmmmhmmmmm.


I don't know why Cat Power got her lips done but she sounds just gorgeous in her Video Games song.


That is the most natural I've seen Lana Del Rey. I'm sorry that she really doesn't bother me as much as she irritates others, and I totally agree with @Megan Patterson@facebook.


WTF is the deal w. LDR's accent? She's from Lake Placid, right? I'm Upstate as fuck and nobody sounds like that. Is occasionally British? Occasionally fake old lady from the Bronx? Is nothing real about this woman? Yeah, pop stars aren't authentic, I get it. Pop stars own their fucking creations (or their advisors'): Gaga, Madonna, et al. LDR is so awkward in hers. She does nothing to own her stardom. All t his stuff has been created by/for her and she does nothing to claim it. It's like fashion. Some people look badass in crazy shit, other people just look try hard and uncomfortable.


I don't know why the lip licking makes me so uncomfortable but it makes me SO UNCOMFORTABLE.


@Nutellaface I tried listening to her album on Spotify and couldn't even get through it. It made my ears just as uncomfortable as her lip licking, if not more.


I read that as 'Touching One's Own Breasts While Watching Lana Del Rey Curse' rather than 'THE Touching One's Own Breasts While Watching Lana Del Rey Curse' and thought I was being urged to touch my own breasts while watching this video, and that I must have missed a new Hairpin joke.


Don't tell me no one gets their tits out while reading the Hairpin, because I know most of you do.


Is 'getting your tits out' actually an expression??


@PangurBan Love your username. I had a little black kitty called Pangur Ban when I was fourteen. My mom, who was a historian, named her.

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