There are many hallways in Adrienne "A Real Housewife" Maloof's house. One of them leads at least to her husband's bathroom, possibly other places but we weren't paying close enough attention because look what is hanging up inside a glass box at the end of that hallway. Sidetrack: her husband has his own bathroom. You know what that means. Back to the topic: this cannot be A Thing People Do. How much do you think a wedding dress has to cost to deserve this sort of extravagant afterlife? $20,000, right? Is that correct?
UPDATE: Just used The Internet to look it up and it's a St. Pucchi which is at least $10,000, probably. Oof.
So it's not throw it in a ball in your storage unit after 4 years because you can't quite part with it, but yet no dry cleaner is getting those Guinness and grass stains out and really if you ever wear it again it's because you are having a mental breakdown of some kind? Just checking. For a friend.
@MidoriSour based on context clues, I approve of your wedding.
@MidoriSour I want to be at your wedding.
@Third Wave Housewife you mean her friend's wedding.
@cliuless Her cough friend's wedding.
The thought of wearing something so expensive and easily damageable on my body makes me so uncomfortable. One false move...yikes.
@Third Wave Housewife The thought of spending that much money on something I can't live in makes me uncomfortable.
...but I guess if there's enough material one could turn it into a blinged-out tent?
"Sidetrack: her husband has his own bathroom. You know what that means."
I don't know what that means and suspect I don't want to know. But I do know that if I ever lived with a guy again I'd definitely want separate bathrooms. THE BATHROOM IS FOR ME. You can have your own bathroom. Somewhere else.
@special_boots That's my thought. Separate bathrooms preserve love.
@special_boots When my mother and I watch House Hunters, we always worry about the couples who insist on two sinks in their master bathroom. We would probably go nuts if a couple asked for TWO BATHROOMS.
(Mom and I like to judge strangers on House Hunters.)
@SarahP I don't really get the point of two sinks, but two bathrooms would be essential. My current boyfriend (who will make tons of money if he ever finishes his Ph.D., so we like to fantasize about what we'd do with it) always says he'd like to move in together if we could have separate bedrooms; I say I don't care about the bedrooms one way or another but separate bathrooms are a must.
...It would probably make more sense for us to just not move in together.
@SarahP whenever people want double sinks I'm like WHY?? My boyfriend thinks its great, but it just looks stupid to me. I would much rather have 2 toilets (not in the same room).
@special_boots Ha, no, I get it. My husband and I have almost the exact same standard of cleanliness, but I have lived with roommates who've made me wish for more bathrooms... so I get it.
@SarahP Isn't that the best reason to watch House Hunters? I do the same with my mom whenever I go visit.
@SarahP Mostly I just don't want him to know when I'm playing Peggle in the bathroom. And I DEFINITELY don't want to know when he takes his laptop in there.
@beanie I have to advocate for the double sinks for my coupled friends, because what if a "friend" drinks too much tequila during a party and can't make it to the toilet and barfs up her life into the bathroom sink and then the sink gets clogged and THEN everyone has to wait for the Drano to start working while the sink/gross mess is covered with a piece of plywood?
Extra sink = helps make up for your poor-life-choice-making "friends."
@phlox @SarahP I visit my family every other Monday and I watch House Hunters from 12:30 to 1 pm with my mom on her lunch break. She's really good at guessing which one they're going to pick.
@SarahP I live with 2 dudes and the bathroom in our apartment came with two sinks. At first I was like "this is silly." 6 months later I can't imagine it any other way. They have their dude sink, I have my sink, and there's no complaints. I'm not sure if I'd do that with a significant other, but it's currently awesome for my living situation.
@special_boots "Separate bathrooms" is what I write on every "Leave a suggestion for the newlyweds!!!!!1!" wish tree/thumbprint balloon print/guestbook at weddings.
@special_boots Sharing a bathroom with Mr. Delperro doesn't bother me, but I'd LOVE to have my own closet. Someday.
@andrea disaster: One of the keys to guessing correctly? Keep on an eye on the season. In order to get on the show, shoppers need to already be in escrow - the other two houses are not actually in the running (that's right - it's all FAKE! I KNOW!).
So if there're bare trees and a little snow on the ground for two houses, but not for the third, it's the third.
Also, people who complain about wall color and light fixtures are the worst. I sit there shouting at my TV, "WELL OF COURSE YOU COULD NEVER EVER REPAINT! REJECT THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY!"
@SarahP You can brush your teeth at the same without spitting on each other with two sinks!
Basically, you can get ready in the mornings with your own space to do so.
@ejcsanfran I swear I'm going to get my mom into drinking games through House Hunters. Phrases that trigger a drink? "Stainless steel appliances." "Granite countertops." "Outdated fixtures." "Open floorplan." "Crown moulding."
@special_boots Apartments next to each other! Honestly, this is kind of my co-habitating dream.
@ejcsanfran The people who fuss about wall colors drive me bananas. A little painting won't hurt you! .... so long as there's proper ventilation.
@bocadelperro The very THOUGHT of not having my own closet gives me chills.
Of course, Current Guy mostly just leaves his clothes on the floor, so he probably wouldn't compete for closet space.
@Megan Patterson@facebook Yes!! We have actually discussed this as an option! It is the best idea! He cooks me dinner every night, but still stays out of my space, plus I don't have to smell his dumb cats.
This is my environmentally unfriendly, possibly horribly unromantic dream.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher: "Oh, are these countertops granite?" Well, if you don't know, why is it so g.d. important, you jackass?
And that's why I love HH Int'l - especially when they are in some European city, shown a kitchen the size of a broom closet and remark, "Well, this is a pretty good size for this arrondisement..."
Meanwhile, back in McMansion country, there are complaints that the master bathroom (which is larger than the living room in my rent-controlled slum apartment) is just too small - it's unlivable!
Clearly, this show elicits strong emotions in me...
I always yell at the people on House Hunters that buy huge houses for just two people. Like the couple that bought a 4 bedroom so they could each have their own office and also a guest room. There was also a large yard, so room to add on in the event that they decide to start a family. I mean, it's your money, do whatever the hell you want, but...
@special_boots I dunno, he can lull you over there with the smells of delicious things cooking, if your bedrooms are on opposite sides of the wall you can have like a code of knocks that means "I love you" that you do on the wall every night, you never have to pick up each other's shit. IT IS PERFECT.*
*full disclosure: I recently got out of a 6 year cohabitation with the laziest and messiest man alive, so I am biased.
@Brunhilde Yeah, I am not into the huge houses, but you will have to pry "My Room" out of my cold dead hands. I need my own closetroom-office-get the fuck away from me-space. Drew was a little curious about why there was a My Room and an Our Room but no His Room when we moved in, but now he knows.
I weep with the thought of what tiny box we will have to live in SF...
@ejcsanfran I'm totally with you in the camp JUST REPAINT!! except for one case. The nicest house had a full floor to ceiling 1970s style painting with the silhouette of a naked woman in the master bathroom. They ended up taking that house and repainting but I definitely understood their pause in that case. (It wasn't even well done! The proportions were all wrong.)
"Come and see our new home, everyone~! Just please don't go in the bathroom until we've repainted and bleached everything."
@ejcsanfran YES about the countertops. People who have zero taste in every other aspect must have granite countertops. Whyyyyyyyyyy do they care so much?
@beanie It's a status thing, I think.
@Megan Patterson@facebook I guess but it seems like a really lame status thing. You never hear rappers talking about it "20 inch rims, bottles of Cristal, granite counters!"-one of these things is not like the other.
@beanie Well, they're super expensive and impractical so it's kind of the perfect status thing (for lame people)!
@special_boots My cousins/aunt and uncle had two sinks in their house. There were six of them, though... it meant that two or more people could be brushing their teeth or putting on makeup of whatever, at a time.
Personally, I'd settle for a bathroom that two people can be in at the same time, without one of them having to stand inside the shower. Sigh.
Also, have you House Hunter fans seen this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWoWHzq21tA
Re: two sinks... I thought it was stupid until i was on my honeymoon in a shmancy hotel with 2 sinks. Cue me looking at my pristine and clean sink with all my toiletries neatly organized, his looking like a duck took a bath in it. Yea, two sinks would be awesome. Also no more arguing/elbowing each other while drying hair/shaving/brushing teeth in the morning. Sometimes I have to dry my hair in our kitchen... But, separate closets is a way higher priority.
@phlox My mom came to visit me this last weekend and pretty much all we did was drink wine and watch House Hunters and it was THE BEST!
Also, between the 30 Rock House Hunters joke and this thread, I'm starting to not feel so alone in my House Hunters pet peeves.
Separate bathrooms = forever <3 ?
Speaking of preserving wedding dresses, did you know that you can pretty much vaporize (probably the wrong terminology) a hole out of chiffon? I got married in August and sent my dress away to this fancy schmancy company that cleans and preserves them in a nice little box for safekeeping till you need to use it again. When it came back, the giant staples used to seal the box had punctured equally giant holes in my straight-up chiffon dress (pictured here: http://sajawedding.com/collection_permanent.html it's dress #HB6979). My first thought was "Um shit. How the hell does one sew up a hole in a paper-thin, see-through fabric?" Turns out, the company that made those holes fixed them by, like, heating/steaming the dress, or something?
Sorry for the massively boring and tedious story. I just wanted to get it out there to say: for anyone who has or will get holes in a delicate fabric, fear not! It can apparently be fixed.
@olivebee What sort of witchcraft is this?
@olivebee So I understand this, you got your dress cleaned, preserved and sealed tightly in a box, then you promptly ripped that box open to find the holes?
@maevemealone Actually, my mom opened the box to look at it since the dress got sent back to her house. It was also her idea to preserve it. I guess she was checking to make sure it was done properly? While I know it makes little sense and is a big waste of money....it's a good thing she opened it because of those damn holes.
@maevemealone It would have been safer on a wall.
@olivebee that does sound like magic!
@olivebee my dry cleaner told me that opening the box makes the preserving thing moot, since I guess air gets sucked out of the box or something and that's what keeps the dress white? Sucks about the holes though, that's annoying!
But for something we only wear once, most wedding dresses are insanely expensive. Whatever, if I had a labyrinthine house I'd totally eccentrically display that thing in a distant hallway.
Miss Havisham?
@atipofthehat That's what I was thinking. I want to go with what my mom did, which was buy a practical white silk dress to get married in. She wore it all the time until my little brother barfed on it as an infant. Now it's in the basement closet, with his barf stains on it.
@Emmanuelle Cunt practical + white + silk = contradiction...
@Emmanuelle Cunt A friend of mine (who moved to and then got married in India) tells me that in India the dress you get married in is the dress you wear to all the other weddings you attend after you get married. I feel like this is a neat way of going about things.
@t-square Practical until your baby barfs on it I guess!
@H.E. Ladypants And think of all the money it saves you! (Also Indian wedding dresses are DA BOMB.)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Indian weddings are da bomb too! So colourful, so much fuss, so much bling. And no-one would throw a fit about there not being a veggie option, cos indian veggie food is amazeballs.
@H.E. Ladypants Well, most Western people's wedding dresses used to be black, since your wedding dress was just your best dress, and your best/Sunday dress tended to be black, so it wouldn't get dirty as quickly and need replacing.
The white thing was just to be like 'look at me, I can afford a dress that will get so filthy in one day (because of coal dust and also general filthiness) that I just throw it out! I only wear it once! Take that, bitches!' I get so cross at how het up people get over 'traditions' that someone just made up to sell magazines, a few decades ago. I mean, fine if it's what the bride wants, but if she wants to get married in red or black or whatever what's the big deal?
I got the cheapest wedding dress I could find because I hated the thought of spending so much money on clothes I would only wear once. Turns out, I hated the dress too. Now I can't get my husband to let me get rid of it because *he's* sentimentally attached to the damn dress I can't stand.
If he had his own bathroom and $10,000 to embalm the dress forever, I guess this would bother me less.
@prefer not to say
First things first: get him to stop wearing it around the house at night.
@atipofthehat: Mr. Havisham?
@ejcsanfran
"We can have it altered."
Guysssssss everyone should dye their wedding dress like I did and then we can throw a big party where we all wear our pretty "new" dresses pleeeeeeease.
@SarahP OOOOHHH! I WANT TO! My dress is similar in formality to yours, too.
@OhShesArtsy How fast can you get to Boston for said big classy party?
@SarahP Wow. You were pretty much a stone cold badass to dunk that dress in boiling water and iffy dye and just like... wait and see what happened. I'm impressed!
@SarahP This is awesome.
@SarahP I wonder if I could sneak onto a plane*? Also, I read that as "big sassy party" for some reason. So this will have to be a classy, sassy party.
*Attn government peoples: I will not actually sneak on to a plane. Please don't track me down.
@Emmanuelle Cunt Thanks! I got the nerve from the fact that there wasn't really anything left to do with it but leave it in a closet forever (we don't have as many hallways as the Maloof-Nassif family).
@OhShesArtsy I AM DOWN.
@SarahP Your dress looks incredible. PLEASE find events to wear it to; that's too good not to be shared with the public at large.
@SarahP I love you and I want to do this to mine too! And shorten it and wear it to every fancy event ever!!!
@special_boots My boss once offered me $10 to wear it to a work event, but it was not going to be appropriate.
I keep trying to host a Classy Dinner Party, but my husband keeps pointing out that our apartment is 1.) too small and 2.) not Classy.
@SarahP A Wedding Dress Party in Boston? Now that sounds like a fun night out! My wedding dress is unaltered, but it's cream satin with a black pinstriped net overlay and bands of black sequins round the waist, so it doesn't really scream wedding anyway and I really want to wear it again!
@SarahP - you guyyyyyys now i want to get married just so i can dye my dress and wear it to a sassy, classy, dyedweddingdress party!
@Jen Alien-Spouse@twitter Even the DESCRIPTION of your dress is beautiful! I want to seeee it.
@SarahP Tell him classiness is all in the 'tude. Slash throw a fancy get-together at a dive bar??
@SarahP So pretty!
I'm going to do this with all of my old socks.
And, incidentally, the dry cleaners CAN get chili and red wine (don't ask) out of a wedding dress. MIRACLE!
@LDiggitty I avoided red wine stains, but there may be a rock burn in the train of mine...
@catfoodandhairnets @LDiggitty If my dress comes out of my wedding spotless, I'm going to be INCREDIBLY disappointed.
The only reason I am keeping my wedding dress is too prove to some future skeptical daughter that I really WAS a size 7 at some point in my life.
I love this. I'm always trying to frame ridiculous shit. I had some socks framed for a while (I knit them, though. And I knit one but didn't feel like knitting the other), and in one apartment I bought an elaborate frame for the thermostat.
@elizabeast I love the thermostat frame idea, that is hilarious.
@elizabeast That's awesome! I think I'm going to steal your thermostat-framing idea.
My mom wore her mother's wedding dress, tailored to fit, when she got married. She still has it and while I think that's a sweet tradition the thing has some hideous sleeves, and since it is no longer the 40s or the 80s I think I might pass.
@Nutmeg Alterate that ish! If it's alterable. Sleeves can come off.
Got as far as "hanging up inside a glass box" and leapt immediately to, a Damien Hirst shark?
@noReally Imagine if it were cut in half in there!
Are you sure it's not his first wife's wedding dress? With the first wife still in it?
(What would E. A. Poe do?)
To tell you the truth, I think Adrienne Maloof can do no wrong! Any lady who wears TINSEL in her hair to casual events and thinks nothing of it is A-OK in my book.
my dress cost $100 on ebay, is 80 years old and made of taffeta. I don't really love it, it was pretty random (bought because of novelty-value, hilarious 80-year-old ragga stripe-value, and actual dollar value which I really think you can not beat), and I will never wear it again except perhaps as a joke. But I don't know what to do with it! Something won't let me just take it to Buffalo Exchange and sell for 7 bucks trade. What should I do. I don't want it anymore but I don't know how to get rid of it in a way that doesn't feel shitty.
Also my husband is super sentimental. The other day I put the 10 year old t-shirt I was wearing the first time we ever kissed in the compost because it was finally unwearably full of holes and tears, and I came home to find it lovingly draped across the washing machine--he'd seen it, fished it out, cleaned it, and hung it up to dry. He was APPALLED that I would get rid of it.
What do you do about these mind-bending problems
p.s. if anybody wants my wedding dress you can have it for lets say $50 (I had the ancient rotting whalebone ripped out and modern plastic put in, that's why the price is on the steep side)
@dracula's ghost Pics, please!!! I'm not engaged, but a $50 wedding dress seems to be right up my alley.
@dracula's ghost My husband is also the one who wants me to keep the dress. Hence it's current ball-shaped location in the storage unit corner.
@dracula's ghost and @MidoriSour You two should write in about this problem to Ask A Married Dude! Since the commenters always want cheerier married people problems.
@dracula's ghost I would be honored to sell this to a fellow 'Pinner. That is actually the best way to get rid of it I can imagine. Lets just keep passing it around! And really, who knows what-all it's been worn for, in its roughly 80-year history???? MAYBE IT WAS PRESENT AT THE JFK ASSASSINATION
@SarahP Why do people want cheerier problems? Cheery problems are so boring!!!!!! "Dear A Married Dude, my husband is so sentimental and doesn't want me to get rid of my wedding dress. IT IS RUINING MY LIFE ARRRRGHHHHH SHOULD I GO TO A SEX CLUB SECRETLY"
@dracula's ghost I do adore it... but I fear you are slightly more slender than myself, and with this booty and boobies, It may not work. Is it tailorable?
For the sake of history, let's believe that this dress was present for ALL THE EVENTS.
@LornaLoo it might be tailorable...i don't really know about such things. I don't know how much extra fabric there is, for making it bigger. It was pretty tight on me and I had it taken in, so I assume she actually chopped off all the extra fabric. The cool thing is that it's only tight in the corset-area---your butt-zone is 100% free and loose. Anyway I guess I should take it to somebody and get a professional opinion on how big/small it could be made to be before I start trying to sell it.
@dracula's ghost Ugh. I had mine cleaned with the intention of selling it online... 3 months ago. I was It's been hanging on the front of my closet ever since, at this point it's part of the decoration in my bedroom. I really want the money - could get a fair amount (maybe I am delusional), but every time I go to do it I just...can't. I wasn't even totally IN LOVE with the dress when I bought it, it was more a combo of this is a good price, looks OK on me. Probably the reason my mom has had hers in her attic for over 40 years now. It's crazy stupid/sentimental but really hard to part with.
I swore I wouldn't wear anything larger than a doorframe, which should make framing my dress (getting it custom made!) a little easier. I wouldn't mind another sink and maybe a half bath tho.
Huh. I just "preserved" my wedding dress by conveniently leaving it at my parents' house between getting married and moving across the country.
Oh, I noticed that a while ago. It was one of the things I mentioned to my husband while describing the show that caused him to start hitting the steering wheel and shouting, "TAX THEM! TAX THEM! TAX THEM ALLLLLL!!!!!"
Forget how much did the dress cost - how much did putting in a special airless glass cubby for it cost?! Also, Jane, did you get a dress yet? I don't know if this post points to yes or no.
So! I work for a company that sells archival materials, and I have a little bit of knowledge about preserving stuff in general, and my first thought was "dang, this sounds like a question one of our customer service people emailed me!" But really, textiles are hard to preserve, and super prone to deterioration. I hope they're keeping it out of light!
@AmandathePanda It's probably in an anoxic tube with motion sensor lights. Mine is in a dry cleaner bag on the front of my closet!