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Friday, February 24, 2012

834

Friday Open Thread

Open thread-a-me: where have you been this week?

Photo by LValeriy, via Shutterstock

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834 Comments / Post A Comment

camanda

Ah, finally!

Back during the suggestions post, someone mentioned a post about women's professional baseball? and I found all my notes from my college research project! Woo hoo!

I'm going to finish this episode of That Mitchell and Webb Look and then go do my shopping. Happy weekend, all!

feartie

@camanda That Mitchell and Webb Look is a good choice. I will never stop finding the Cheese or Petrol robot funny. Or thinking that I should show the Homeopathy A&E to people who believe in such things.

I've been unwell! But not so unwell that I don't fell mildly guilty about sleeping most of the day. So I've been nowhere, except online.

camanda

@feartie I just started over from the beginning after not watching it in ages. Rob's banana dance refuses to stop being hilarious.

I'm sorry you've been unwell! Any level of unwell warrants sleeping and Internet.

OwlOfDerision

@camanda I am now humming the Sir Digby Chicken-Caesar action theme!

melis

Here is where we shall all admit to our confusing, orientation-bending crushes on David Mitchell.

Jane Err

@melis I've spent hours of my life watching clips of him arguing logical points on various BBC panel shows. Time well spent.

camanda

@OwlOfDerision "Quick, Ginger!" is my action phrase, no matter who I am with.

@melis @Jane Err I.LOVE.HIM. I will sometimes watch all the episodes of QI that he's been in one after the other, for maximum enjoyability. That said, if David doesn't shave that awful beard, the pendulum is gonna swing all the way over to Rob, who is adorable and has a mesmerizing voice. ... Just sayin'.

Megasus

@camanda That Mitchell and Webb Look is pretty much the only sketch show I can stand

feartie

@Megan Patterson@facebook Have you ever seen any of Limmy? not everything is great, but Dee Dee is generally fab (if you can understand what he's saying). And the one about trying to impress his dad with a vortex in the wall is pretty great too, if I can find it.

camanda

@Megan Patterson@facebook I love sketch shows but TM&WL is my favorite. And I have watched a lot of sketch shows.

feartie

@Megan Patterson@facebook Found it! So true about Scottish dads being stoic and unimpressed...

Megasus

@feartie I'm not gonna lie, that was my main takeaway from Skins

feartie

@Megan Patterson@facebook I am an authority, as I have a Scottish dad. When I told him I had won a minor literary prize (really minor, but still) he just said, as he always does, 'oh, very good. Any more news?'

Verity

@camanda The banana dance is wonderful.

tortietabbie

Friday, Friday, Friday! I thought this day would never come but here it is. Thank goodness.

I think I'll be capping off my intensely PMS-y week (highlight was definitely bursting into tears in Petco over cat food) with a bottle of wine and a very lazy night.

olivebee

@tortietabbie I had the same PMS-y week! I burst into tears over broken ear muffs and then started punching my pillow out of rage when my computer lost internet during the elimination segment on last week's Project Runway. Oh my god all my emotions were jacked up to extremes. So glad it's over now.

Jenn

@tortietabbie @olivebee My PMS moment was when I started crying to Kenny Loggins' "Back to Pooh Corner" in the grocery store. I was looking for sardines.

madge

@tortietabbie oh my god i was a PMSing hosebeast this week too! when i start having imaginary conversations with people i think are punishingly weak while i'm by myself driving in my car, then i know i'm about to bleed.

also, john tesh played anne murray on his radio show, and it made me cry. PERIODS. FEEELINGS!

Manchester Tart

@tortietabbie PMS week for me too. I had to hold back tears reading a story to my class about a mummy elephant and a baby elephant because I miss my dog so much (he still lives in the UK at the moment) and errrr dogs are kind of like elephants right? Then later I bumped my hip against my bookcase and it hurt so I kicked it.

sophi

@tortietabbie I cried when I woke up today because I put some music on and the SECOND song that played was Fuck and Run by Liz Phair. I was not emotionally prepared.

fuck fuck fuck

@tortietabbie my god, i recently pms-cried just THINKING ABOUT A MAN I DIDN'T KNOW POSSIBLY BEING EMBARRASSED ABOUT SOMETHING. i am a very efficient tears machine..

area@twitter

Our afternoon in the office has progressed to Status: Clusterfuck. Fortunately we brought in wine.

area@twitter

@area@twitter Also I just found a priceless bit of mansplaining on a comment thread on another site. (Why, thank you kind commenter! I've never, ever heard that viewpoint on body image before! Neither have I considered the possible deleterious effects of a size-obsessed society on young women! Do go on!)

OxfordComma

@area@twitter : WHERE SO WE CAN EVISCERATE HEEEEEM?

area@twitter

@OxfordComma Gaming website. Honestly though, I think it's funnier than anything else- it's not malicious, just completely clueless and a little pompous.
Also our appointment fell through in the most spectacular manner possible (think a screaming swearmatch through the phone) and now I have plans to mix white wine with some fizzy fruit drink I got at Fresh Market. Because I keep things classy.

Bird Internet

@area@twitter That sounds delicious, and much classier than "funky juice" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2ITOHA8iek

area@twitter

@Bird Internet Funky Juice sounds delicious. I was about to suggest we combine all the booze together and make Purple Jesus, but we didn't have grape cough syrup or a trash can.

youresmalltime

I just got back from a three-day stint wherein I went to sixteen wineries and two cider makers. It was INSANE.

spoondisaster

@youresmalltime Woah. Jealous!

one cow.

@youresmalltime I kid you not, I read that as "weineries." My hot dog radar went nuts. Can someone start a weinery?

bookbike

@youresmalltime Cool! Where were they? I reaaalllly wanna go to a cider-making place!

area@twitter

@one cow. paging Lisa Hanawalt, Lisa Hanawalt please report to the hot dog thread

hotdog

@one cow. you rang?

tortietabbie

@one cow. That's what I thought it said, too. I was like, OH SHIT, now we're talking!

youresmalltime

@one cow. One of the cider places served sausage MADE with bacon. Does that count for anything?

EpWs

@youresmalltime SAUSAGE MADE WITH BACON AT A CIDERY? Where is it, I must go there. Immediately.

Megasus

@one cow. If I ever open a restaurant that serves only gourmet hot dogs, I will be sure to call it "The Wienerie"

youresmalltime

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Albemarle Ciderworks. North Garden, Virginia. The cider was meh, the tasting with the sausage was ON POOOOINT. We bought So Many apples!

youresmalltime

@heyad Local Virginia stuff! Albemarle Ciderworks in North Garden and Castle Hill in Keswick. (Castle Hill was way better despite the lack of baconsausage. They have PRE-MADE PIC-A-NIC BASKETS!)

EpWs

@youresmalltime I want to go to there. Trying to figure out the next time I'll be in Virginia...

carbonation

@Megan Patterson@facebook -- too late! http://wienery.com/

cliuless

i'll tell you one thing: i have not been to my classes as much as i should

spoondisaster

@cliuless same. not even close.

EpWs

@cliuless One of my professors is becoming increasingly infuriating. It is a FIGHT to get myself to go to class. (I am pretty sure I'm not going this week, though, because I have a million better things to do than get my blood pressure up dealing with him.)

fuck fuck fuck

@cliuless you know that feeling where you walk into an intro astronomy class you haven't been to in two weeks and realize you don't know the order of the planets and your midterm is next thursday?

Texian

@lighter fluid That is one of my recurring nightmares! Argh, Astronomy. I dropped it once and then finally took it pass/fail and barely squeaked by. So stressful and I took the class (cough) 20 years (cough) ago.

spoondisaster

I have been out in the snow (on Sunday) and today out on my lawn, catching some rays, while the temperature climbs into the high 70s. Oh, nature.

But in less than two weeks I'm going to my old home (Houston) to go see ZZ Top at the Rodeo with my dad! It is a tradition of ours.

Laura Yan@twitter

Today I spilled the entirely bowl of my soup from lunch all over my dress/tights/desk/carpet. I had to frantically use a lot of paper towels and take off my tights and be grateful that my dress is black polyester, doesn't show stains very much and dries fairly quickly. Still, so not fun!

Also, lately I'm worried that I'm becoming a boring person. I long for something to take me out of myself. I haven't been able to write anything good. I get a ton of boy prospects in my love life but not one of them ever carries through. I am thinking about spending the weekend people watching and trying to start conversations with strangers and drinking whiskey in hotel bars. I'm not sure if it will help.

chrysopoeia

@Laura Yan@twitter I've been considering the same thing, only around some organized activity. Like trivia and drinking. I suppose I'm not great with the cold open.

SarahP

@Laura Yan@twitter I don't think that sounds boring at all! Buuuuut if you want advice, one of my time tested ways to stop feeling boring/like I'm in a rut is to do volunteer work. I think any kind would work. It gets you out--of the house, of yourself, of your normal routine, you meet new people, AND you have something new to talk about with the same old people in your life.

Alice Prin

@Laura Yan@twitter I have this same thought all the time. Like, where is the magical mystical person who will show up at my door and be like "HEY MAMA, PUT ON SOME PANTS WE ARE GOING TO HAWAII RIGHT NOW"..?

But that person is nowhere (except for "Drop Dead Fred," I guess). It takes a lot of work to radically shift everything you're doing.

angelinha

@Alice Prin Where is that person and why does he want me to wear pants to Hawaii?

Alice Prin

@klibberfish Yeah good point. My imaginary party-secretary is sort of a drag.

loudmouthedgirl

@Laura Yan@twitter I am strongly in favour of drinking whiskey in bars and starting up conversations. I have met many interesting people this way. And some total weirdos, but hey. And this CAN lead to adventures that might make you feel less boring, but the often involve serious shameovers the next morning.

Inkling

@Laura Yan@twitter
I WOULD ADVENTURE WITH YOU.
I am about to do the same thing. If I can't find one damn college student who wants to adventure with me, fuck the whoooole state. And they have to express their want to adventure with me by approaching me I guess due to me being shy and lame.

phenylalanine

YOU GUYS! I am going to NYC for part of my spring break! It's the weekend of St. Patrick's Day! Someone give me ideas for stuff to do! What should I eat? Where should I hang out?

Laura Yan@twitter

@phenylalanine you should walk over the Brooklyn or Williamsburg bridge and take the East River Ferry (the view is just lovely and it's efficient). What kind of food do you like? There are so many options!

punkahontas

@phenylalanine You should 100% avoid midtown, where there are 100 Irish pubs and there will be 100 million drunk juiceboxes.

annepersand

@punkahontas This is A+ advice. Also, not that I would imagine this would be a problem, but don't take NJ Transit, I had to go to Newark on St. Patrick's day last year and it was the worst train ride of my life.

You should definitely hang out in North Brooklyn a bit, it's a bit of a cliche but fun. If you like Medieval art, go to the cloisters. If you like slightly but not too divey bars, go to the East Village.

atipofthehat

@phenylalanine

Tell us more about your interests so we can recommend something more specific?

Scott Sessions@facebook

@phenylalanine My friend just told me about a really great restaurant called Yo In Yo Out (he went for brunch and recommends the lighter-than-air hollandaise sauce). http://www.yoinyoout.net/

@serenityfound

@phenylalanine The Crocodile Lounge south of Union Square gives you a free cheese pizza with every drink you buy (and they are yummy). At least, they used to...

Porn Peddler

I had a nightmare about male deer last night, it was horrible (I was also married to Rick Santorum and walking naked down a country highway at sunset AND THE DEER WERE EVERYWHERE I WAS SO SURE I WAS GOING TO DIEEEEEEE)

That said, I have a sex ed event tonight! AAAAAAAAH! I'm making my poster right now, and I know way too goddamn much and am having trouble picking and choosing what to put on said poster. WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW, YOU GUYS?

At your sex and sex toy advice service, your most humble servant TWH

olivebee

@Third Wave Housewife You could have been sitting on a couch sipping wine and reading your favorite book and still called it a nightmare if you were married to Rick Santorum.

Clare

@Third Wave Housewife Quality is more important than quantity.

ETA that goes for both the sex and the sex toy advice.

Porn Peddler

@olivebee In the nightmare I'm fairly sure I had lost my mind while we were at some stuffy white dude event and I just crazily slunk away shedding all my clothes and started off down the highway even though it was about to get dark and WHY DID I CHOSE TO BE NAKED and I knew there were tons of bucks on that highway. HE DIDN'T NOTICE I WAS GONE.

@Clare But variety is the spice of life! What you guys don't have an overflowing box of sex toys next to your beds? I am kind of always DTF so I am a fan of frequent fucking.

annepersand

@Third Wave Housewife Aaaah the sex box! I keep all of my lube and toys and stuff next to my bed in a box that used to hold smartwool socks, so as to avert prying eyes with the presumable boringness of the contents. Same reason I used to keep my weed in a tampon box - the one place my mom was never going to find it if she was in my room and my guy friends were never going to steal it from.

Porn Peddler

@annepersand Brilliant. I think I need a treasure chest with a lock on it. There's too much stuff for a smaller box, and THEY ARE TREASURES!

She Saved The World, Alot

@Third Wave Housewife I'm pretty jealous of your life. I only have 1 sex toy (well, two, both vibrators.) And it doesn't even WORK PROPERLY. Or maybe I don't work properly. Who knows.

Also, I'm too shy to go into a sex toy store and ask questions. I wish I were going to your sex ed event tonight!!

NeverOddOrEven

@Third Wave Housewife Last night I dreamt that I hit a deer with my car/blood from his heart spilled out on to my dress, it was warm...

owlegg

@NeverOddOrEven I signed in to applaud your Neko Case reference. I love love love that song!

SarahDances

DC 'Pin-up last night was just as awesome as I'd anticipated! So glad I finally made it out to one!

empem

@SarahDances yayyyy it was fun!!! let's get that facebook group going, no? (this is Emily, by the way.)

Elizabeth M.

@SarahDances Totally agree - so great to meet everyone! Looking forward to the next one!

kirsten

@SarahDances Same! I loved it!

cherrispryte

@SarahDances OMG I am an idiot of immense proportions. I thought the meetup was today, not yesterday! Balls. (This makes no sense to anyone who's been following along with the google group, I know, and I HAVE BEEN, but something in my brain went fuzzy. Ugh.)

chrysopoeia

I went to a wine tasting alone where there was not nearly enough wine, and I'm slowly becoming terrified by the prospect of being left close-friendless in the next few years as everyone dear to me is marrying and/or moving away.

So, book recommendations? Something with a strong female central character and a non-stupid love story? Or just anything good by a female author?

carbonation

@chrysopoeia That sounds like the saddest wine tasting ever.

SarahP

@chrysopoeia I would say Villette, but your heart would break because SHE IS TOTALLY CLOSE-FRIENDLESS.

Laura Yan@twitter

@chrysopoeia I really like doing things by myself, but sometimes it can get depressing. I try to see myself as a romantic figure and strike up scenic poses of Pretty Girl Deep in Contemplating Alone at Bar and that helps.

Read Colette! She's French and fierce and a little dirty and fun and inspiring.

missvancity

@chrysopoeia I hugely sympathize because I have pretty much always been "the single one." That being said, if your friends disappear once coupled up... they weren't really good friends to begin with. I mostly read YA but if you like that kind of stuff, Shadow & Bone by Leigh Bardugo is AMAAAAAAAZING!

cliuless

@chrysopoeia will you read YA? cause i break out my tamora pierce for a reread annually.

chrysopoeia

@SarahP And it's already on my list I LOVE ME SOME BRONTE. WHYY?!::SOB::

thebestjasmine

@chrysopoeia On the YA side of things, I adored Anna and the French Kiss and Lola and the Boy Next Door, both by Stephanie Perkins.

SarahP

@cliuless YES!!!

Cat named Virtute

@chrysopoeia Oh man, this is my continual life experience, and it sucks so bad. I just finished rereading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, which is awesome and so comforting (even though parts of it are SO HEARTBREAKING), and Francie spends almost the whole book being solitary and awesome, and ugh, I just love her so much. I also love Truman Capote, specifically Breakfast at Tiffany's, for characters that lack nurturing romantic love but who form other kinds of powerful attachments/relationships.

OxfordComma

@chrysopoeia : "The Likeness" by Tana French, and also "Caddie Woodlawn", because she's a fucking badass, and "The Blue Castle" by LM Montgomery, which is the book that gave me permission to be independent.

chrysopoeia

@Laura Yan@twitter Whenever I go to bars alone I feel like the chaperone at a high school dance, talking awkwardly to whatever poor sap is working while all the kids have fun around me.

phlox

@chrysopoeia Alice Munro! Lives of Girls and Women is amazing.

matisse

@SarahP VILLETTE! I'm at the part where Dr. John enters the picture and she's all like "he's hot, but I'm going to avoid him". I recommend the book, but yeah the main character is a downer with a super depressing life. On the plus side, she's extremely witty!

Laura Yan@twitter

@chrysopoeia I once took my Kindle with me to a bar (alone) (on a Friday night) and read for a good long time while drinking. It was lovely, and I didn't talk to anyone until I was ready to leave, when some boys came over and started chatting me up and I made friends with the bartender. And believe it or not, the Kindle is magical accessory that lends itself to "what are you reading?" should you make the slightest sign that you're also interested in human interaction--i.e. eye contact and a smile to someone who comes near you.

candybeans

@SarahP I'm finally reading Villette, and IT IS SO GREAT. On the bus this morning, I read the chapter where she's in the gallery, narrating her reaction to the Cleopatra painting, and, god. So great! I knew I'd need to share it somewhere on the 'Pin today.

cliuless

@SarahP yeeess! it sucks about three solid weeks out of my life, but it is so so satisfying. (kel is my favorite. i want to be her.)

area@twitter

@chrysopoeia :( ::internet hugs:: Yeah, don't read Villete, I'm working my way through it and the first and second books are definitely sad. If you're up for YA, Terry Pratchett's Wee Free Men series is really good, it has a young witch in it. Even better is Jo Graham, she writes historical romantic fiction with a LGBTQ bent. Black Ships is the first one, that's a good place to start.

tortietabbie

@chrysopoeia Since we were just talking about it the other day, Fingersmith by Sarah Waters!

smidge

@chrysopoeia This may sound goofy, but one of my favorite YA novels is Catherine, Called Birdy by Karen Cushman. The main character is sassy and it's like, well, at least I don't have to marry this gross dude my dad picked out for me.

missvancity

@smidge Karen Cushman is a GENIUS. <3 her.

candybeans

@area@twitter oh, it eventually gets happier?? That's nice.

area@twitter

@candybeans It does! The whole pining in a foreign land thing is definitely sad and I found it hard to read, but there's a great progression where she mourns her loss and is able to let it go, and then starts to get to know her crazy co-teacher M. Paul, and there's lots of verbal sparring.

OwlOfDerision

@chrysopoeia Get yourself into some Hilary Mantel. 'A Place of Greater Safety' is an awesome book - it's a fictionalised account of the French Revolution, from the viewpoint of Danton, Desmoulins and Desmoulins' wife Lucille. It's AWESOME. There's plotting and sexing and big hats.

candybeans

@area@twitter oh, i LOVE M. Paul. The only problem I have with him is that the free copy of Villette I got through Google Books gets SUPER confusing when it turns to French, because the scanner they use to scan the original pages doesn't know French, so it sometimes comes out as gibberish and I don't know what he's saying.

TheGirl'sAlright

@cliuless Song of the Lioness for LIFE! I really need to reassemble my copy of that series...

twocats

@chrysopoeia I love "Mating" by Norman Rush. Also anything by Joan Didion, who I always read when I need to buck myself up.

chrysopoeia

@chrysopoeia Dear EVERYONE, I am so excited for all these suggestions that I'm making a huge reading list on my library account right now. Thank you.

cliuless

@TheGirl'sAlright high five! i'm always thrilled to find another fan.

boysplz

@chrysopoeia It's sci-fi so it may or may not be your thing but I recently reread The Snow Queen by Joan Vinge and it's a pretty awesome book. It has all sorts of strong women in various roles and lots of murky/shades of gray villainy.

BadWolf

@chrysopoeia MANSFIELD PARK. Seriously. Mary Crawford is the bomb. Non-stupid love story with flawed, complex people. And funny as hell.

AndSomethingElse

@Laura Yan@twitter I've done the wine-and-Kindle-in-a-bar thing too. And almost the exact same thing happened. Except with some people who were maybe coming from a Renaissance Faire or something? But whatever, they were nice.

@chrysopoeia House of Mirth? Lily Bart is also a bit short on close friends. Great love story in a way, but avoid if you don't want a downer.

Carrie Hill Wilner

@chrysopoeia @area@twitter WARNING YOU GUYS DO NOT COUNT YOUR HAPPY CHICKENS BEFORE YOU FINISH THE WHOLE BOOK.

area@twitter

@Carrie Hill Wilner DDDDDD: AGH

Lexa Lane

@chrysopoeia L.M. Montgomery! Soothing, lovely characters, strong friendships, and fabulous descriptive writing. Even if you've read the Anne books, revisit them, or try her other writing. It's my go-to comfort reading. That and Nora Roberts, which is excellent fluff.

OxfordComma

@Lexa Lane : Me too! Montgomery is far more profound than she is given credit for.

Marquise de Morville

@chrysopoeia I recommend anything by Judith Merkle Riley. Historical fiction with wonderful heroines and written with great sense of humor and likeable love story.

Changeling

@chrysopoeia The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery. A lady concierge hides her intelligence and awesomeness from the stupid, high-class tenants of the building and has a pretty good life and then THINGS HAPPEN and then you cry. But it's good.

drunkennoodle

@thebestjasmine I loved both of these books too! If you have any other recos in this vein, I'd be happy to hear them. I was sad when I finished Lola because I wanted more.

thebestjasmine

@drunkennoodle I have a ton! Fun books in the Anna/Lola vein:
Revolution, Jennifer Donnelly: reminded me of a darker version of Anna, really beautiful book;
The Boyfriend List and it's three sequels, E. Lockhart: I LOVE these books, they are all so fun, and I like a lot of E. Lockhart's other books too;
Suite Scarlett, Maureen Johnson: I have a love hate relationship with Maureen Johnson's writing, because she's written some books that I think are terrible, but I liked this one (and her more recent one, The Name of the Star, set in England);
Bunheads, Sophie Flack: all about ballet dancers!
Past Perfect, Leila Sales: adorable and fun, with a main character that I liked a lot even when she was being stupid, and a very swoony romance;
How to Save a Life, Sara Zarr: A little heavier than Anna and Lola, but with great characters and a lovely story.

drunkennoodle

@thebestjasmine Yay, thanks so much! I also read Past Perfect and loved it so now I trust all of your other recommendations even more!

carbonation

I find this picture of thread VERY satisfying to look at.

ReginaSavage

@carbonation So do I. Mostly because I just lifted a spool of thread from a store on my lunchbreak. Crazy.

cliuless

also, it took me a few minutes to figure out the joke with the picture of THREAD. ugh.

tea for all

@cliuless it's ok, your avatar MORE than makes up for that.

paperbuttons

@cliuless haha I didn't even get it until you said that, I just thought it was a lovely colorful picture to look at :/

kayjay

Oh, This Week, I lustily give you the finger, for thou hath sucked. One of my staff is filing a Union grievance against me for refusing to sign her erroneous time cards (9:21am is not quite the same as 9am). She lied to her union rep, my boss and my face and said I'm harassing her for coming in a few minutes late sometimes. Then she accused me of targeting her and that she felt "threatened and intimidated" by me. Because I told her she's not allowed to lie on her time cards. And that if I sign one I know is wrong, I get in trouble, too. And the shit storm of non-stop gossiping and outrageous lying has begun. I'm sick with anxiety every single day because of this.

But if anyone wants to see the Vagina Monologues in New Paltz, New York tomorrow night, I'll be performing. So I got that going for me.

thebestjasmine

@kayjay Boo boo, that sucks.

OxfordComma

@kayjay : Hooo boy. I hope you got one of the angry pieces, 'coz you will rock the shit out of it.

Also hope that everything at work settles down--how awful! :(

kayjay

@OxfordComma Nope, no angry vaginas for me. Instead, it's the longest one (Vagina Workshop). It's our second weekend of performances. It's been a really nice distraction from all this work-related horseshit.

OxfordComma

@kayjay : Ooooo, that is one of my favorites--channel this whole week into your reading--I know you'll be amazing!

Emi at Project Swatch

I got jury duty! I'm actually excited about it because I'm weird (and a law student). I hope they pick me!

olivebee

@Emi at Project Swatch Jealousssss! I am desperately awaiting the day I get called for jury duty. It has to be an interesting crime, though, so I can put my Law & Order-watching skills to good use.

thebestjasmine

@Emi at Project Swatch Oh man, good luck. I always desperately want to be on a jury too, and always get thrown right off.

bangs
bangs

@Emi at Project Swatch Nice! I got picked for jury duty and was excited about it, but it was when I was going to be away on vacation :( I hope I get picked again.

likethestore

@Emi at Project Swatch I've always wanted to do jury duty - I've watched way too much criminal justice shows on A&E. Good luck!

sarahe

@Emi at Project Swatch Me too! I am so excited to get jury duty, I hastily changed my voter registration when I moved to NYC. Pick me, NYC! Pick me to listen to your grievances!

But if it's a murder trial, I will totally cry.

ReginaSavage

@Emi at Project Swatch: I had jury duty once. They made me watch a video called "Jury Duty and You!" No lie! It was terrible! but then the case I was supposed to be a juror for was settled out of court and I was FREEEEEE!!!

cliuless

@Emi at Project Swatch i got picked the first time i got jury duty! it was a gun possession case. not super exciting, but interesting enough. plus, i was on the jury with one of my friends from high school. (i don't think that's actually allowed, but eh.)

Alixana

@Emi at Project Swatch I am going to write a series of steamy romance novels about juror love affairs at some point, when I am done being a Serious Lawyer. So if you happy to HAVE a hot juror love affair, let me know, ok?

Tuna Surprise

@Emi at Project Swatch
I'm a lawyer and got to sit on a jury last year. It was awesome! Other jurors thought I was an expert or something but it was the only time I had been in a courtroom outside of the time I was sworn into the bar.

Changeling

@Emi at Project Swatch
I really liked Jury Duty! Even thought the case was pretty blah, it gave me an excuse to argue with other people, which I really never do.

missvancity

I am so excited about tonight! My ladies night group is meeting TWO BLOCKS from my house and I made rhubarb cupcakes with strawberry jam frosting! I can hear them taunting me from my fridge.

Emi at Project Swatch

@missvancity that sounds so awesome! you can drink all the wine and then walk home :) and yummmmmmmm

missvancity

@Emi at Project Swatch I never drive anywhere on Friday nights anyways, but this way I don't have to deal with public transit at all!

olivebee

My week was insanely boring, but my lady-bits doctor rescheduled my appointment that was supposed to be today, so that's a major plus. I also watched some Battlestar Galactica (which I started last week). Small victories.

ETA: Happy Oscar Fashion Judging on Sunday, everyone! (Also: the awards...which are rather boring this year).

SarahP

I've had a loooooong week and I'm worn out. The husband made plans with a bunch of our friends for us all to go out dancing tonight, and I'm currently fighting the urge to stay home and watching Netflix in my pajamas.

punkahontas

@SarahP You will feel better once you have some tequila.

OxfordComma

@SarahP Go and dance, lovely girl! It will make things better--and then you can have a nice lie-in tomorrow morning.

SarahP

@punkahontas I like the way you think.

Plus I have a new dress to wear out if I go! Not as comfy as pajamas but so much cuter!

SarahP

@SarahP MAYBE I'll email the Boston 'Pinners and see if any of THEM want to show up. Just the idea of running into Pinners invigorates me already!

cliuless

@SarahP if i was in Boston, i would go dance with you. i need a good dance party in my life.

jules

@SarahP Going out dancing on a Friday night in a new dress, after a long week, is one of life's womanly pleasures. Treat yoself!

NeverOddOrEven

@SarahP I'm jealous you have a husband who "makes plans" with your "bunch of friends". My husband is an enabling hermit.

NeenerNeener

@SarahP Why don't I walk by you on my way to work ever anymore?
Have fun dancing! There are so so so many times where I think I'd rather stay home, but end up having a pretty decent, if not very fun, time and don't regret not staying home at all. This 'Pinner is, however, headed down to Plymouth tonight.
(I also just made it look like I go out a lot, but really it's just that I always want to stay home?)

mackymoo

@SarahP I was in the same sitch last Friday, but I went out and it was great! And I got a really good fb profile picture out of it.

SarahP

@NeverOddOrEven If it's any comfort, it's all his bunch of friends. (They're great, though!)

@NeenerNeener I've been wondering the same thing lately! I've been later than usual lately, though (like 9:15)--I assume you're an on-time type?

annepersand

There is a small child in my office and I'm not sure why. I like small children, but he is gasp/laughing in that way that little kids have (given my experience with 7-year-old boys, I can only assume someone said "butts" near him or something) and he will not stop and this is not actually what is supposed to happen at jobs. Long story short, not thrilled by this.

Also how is it only 3 pm. Today has been the slowest.

littlebearleah

@annepersand Mm yup we had munchkins in the office this week, too. Baby was crying, very sadly. My office is mostly men so they were like WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS CHILD.

tortietabbie

@annepersand I hate it when people bring their kids in to the office. I know it makes me look like such an ogre - and it's not like I'm hard at work here, anyway - but ugh. Keep them at home! This is a child-free zone! That's why God invented pictures!

datalass

@annepersand Oh, I feel you. The guy across the hall from me has music playing really loud. I know the right thing would be to just get up and ask him to turn it down. Instead, I'm sitting here getting broody about it. (Seriously, though, everyone around him has his/her door closed; isn't that a clue? Especially because this is kind of fusty office where music is usually played only at a low level.)

annepersand

@tortietabbie HOW CAN HE STILL BE LAUGHING. HE MUST NEED TO TAKE A BREATH SOON, RIGHT? I don't even have a ton of work to do and obviously (given that I'm hanging out on here) I'm no workaholic, but can't a girl stealthily browse the internet in peace of a Friday?

lisma

@annepersand I feel your pain. My boss often brings in his son who then sits in the front of the office watching the 70,000 inch widescreen tv. He watches endless episodes of Total Drama Island (I think that's what it is called) and slides his feet in and out of his flip flops for eight hours while I'm pulling out my hair and just wanting to turn on NPR again like I always do.

NeverOddOrEven

@annepersand UGH. Kids in the office. Minefield.

At my last job a few women had new babies and everytime they came in this old nosey woman would be all, "NeverOddOrEven, did you see the baby? Go hold the baby! The baby is so cute! BABY!"

It took everything I had to not scream, "BITCH! I just found out I can't have kids!" EMOTIONS.

Buuuut I didn't want them anyway and I'm over it now.

EpWs

@NeverOddOrEven Would you like me to punch them for you? Because I totally will.

NeverOddOrEven

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Naw, the offer is enough : )

Cat named Virtute

On Monday my friend and I went on a driving adventure to the townships east of Montreal, an abbey with a store that sells cider and cheese made by the monks, and Vermont for a drive around the Northern Kingdom and to see the library in Derby Line that is half in Canada and half in the US. It was hilarious crossing the border from Canada to the US the first time because there was immediately way less snow and way more piles of tires. We also decided we are going to throw over our lives in Montreal to live on an acreage in Austin, Quebec to tap maple syrup and raise a family.

Otherwise I have been in my apartment failing to get any of my two grad school projects done and having a series of emotional meltdowns. Also rewatching Community and drinking wine. Drinking looooots of wine.

AniaGosia

@Marika Pea@twitter I tapped my maple trees this week for the first time! So excited!

Emi at Project Swatch

Everyone should buy holographic nail polish. I just bought my first one and OMG LINEAR HOLO AMAZING.

cliuless

@Emi at Project Swatch how does this work????? i must know!

littlebearleah

@Emi at Project Swatch THAT'S HOT. OH MAN.

I was just gonna go for gray nails this week.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Emi at Project Swatch Holy crap I did not know this existed!

elsbels

I just ate an entire butternut squash. Now, onto red wine. Have a lovely weekend.

alphabiddycity

@elsbels Can we trade lives?

EpWs

@elsbels Holy cow, if you like butternut squash, Mark Bittman's Butternut Squash with Soy and Ginger Glaze (or something to that effect) is SO GOOD.

rackles

Last night I went to my second guitar lesson! I can't wait to be off work so I can go home and practice!

thebestjasmine

Ahhhh, I just finished something that I'd been working on all week, and now get to have lunch, wheee.

Also, last night I made the mistake of thinking that I'm a big girl so I could replace my laptop keyboard all by myself. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Now instead of having a laptop with a keyboard with sticky keys, I have a laptop that I cannot type on. Opposite of awesome. I hope various family members can solve this for me this weekend, otherwise I will cry and cry and cry.

purefog

@thebestjasmine Don't you have a disused keyboard lying around? If you don't, a friend does. Plug that into your laptop and you're good to go, at least temporarily (or forever, depending on your druthers and need for portability).

thebestjasmine

@purefog I do, actually! But portability is an issue, as is space (I don't really have anywhere in my house where there's enough space for the keyboard plus laptop and I can work comfortably (especially since usually my laptop is on my lap. It will work in a pinch, and I sent SOS calls and emails out to computer savvy family members (will babysit for computer help). But thank you!

Brunhilde

I'm in my hometown, working remotely from my parents' house. My BFF and I have procured hot rollers, and practiced the Elizabeth Taylor look after watching a few How to be a Girl tutorials (1. Hot Rollers, 2. Elizabeth Taylor). Today I'm helping my sister fix her corset and taking my mom to lunch. Tomorrow night we get all pretty and will be the Belles of the Widder's ball!

smidge

@Brunhilde corset?

Brunhilde

@smidge We're old timey saloon girls for the Widder's ball. It's an odd Clamper family tradition.

Faintly Macabre

I went from NYC to Philly to D.C. to Philly and tomorrow I'm going to NY for the day! And in D.C., I saw my childhood best friend, who I hadn't really talked to in years (we were almost never in the same city), and she is as sweet and funny as ever.

mustelid

@Faintly Macabre Ah, NYC, Philly and DC. Everybody always passes right over poor Baltimore :(

But yay that you got see your childhood best friend!

Faintly Macabre

@mustelid I think the greyhound bus stopped there, if that helps! A lot of people pass over my beloved Philly, too; I sympathize.

plonk

open thread is where i share my moving-to-a-foreign country woes.

but no woe today! i found an apartment and it is great and the roommate it comes with is a SUPER CUTE boy. he is both conventionally attractive and has several of My Things (though without most of my most important Things, which is why this hasn't progressed into crush territory, just EXTENSIVE ADMIRING. he is also a grad student in my field and very nice.) as an impossibly nerdy, emotionally sweaty, constantly embarrassed young teen, even talking to a boy who looked like that seemed completely outside the realm of possibility (i mean, i could fantasize, but the REALITY part of me KNEW it wasn't possible). and now here we are, where he picked me to be his roommate out of many options because we had such a great time talking and hanging out during the roommate-interviews. high five, younger self.

the question is though, how does one go about living with a really cute boy??? will it be super distracting having him and his excessive prettiness around all the time? or will i get used to it and be like "yeah, i have this dude in my house and also this weird moss, whatever"?

missvancity

@plonk Soon he will do something disgusting and the crush will be dead. That's what happened to me, anyways.

ayo nicole

@missvancity Exactly. His pubes will be all over your shower and you'll wonder what you ever saw in him.

OwlOfDerision

@plonk Or if you're like me, your super-cute, younger, never-had-a-girlfriend-at-21 roommate will become your boyfriend after a few weeks, and you will teach him The Ways Of The Sexing.

plonk

these are...very different possible scenarios!
although i anticipate the possibility of roommate-osity breeding contempt, i don't think it will be based on disgustingness, as this guy is also A Clean Person. maybe that will eventually disgust me!

Alice Prin

@OwlOfDerision ..... go on ...... !

OwlOfDerision

@Alice Prin Weeelllll... I moved into my current flat last summer. So it was me, pre-existing Boy Flatmate, and also-new Girl Flatmate. Pre-EBF was kind of growing on me during the first few weeks, and I would be lying if I said the idea of deflowering a 21-year-old virgin wasn't interesting.

So a sort of mutual crush-thing grew up, but we were both holding back - him because of extreme Relationship Shyness, me because I'm 5 years older and also I could see the possible pitfalls in having to live with someone I'd sexed, if it didn't work out.

BUT, one night after drinks at a bar with friends, I came into his room to 'hang out' and ending up 'making out'. It was kinda adorable, because he was super-nervous. And it turned into a Thing, and we Did The Sexing a week or two later. We kept it secret for a bit, in case it didn't work out, so people (especially Girl Flatmate) wouldn't feel awkward around us. But then we got busted, and everyone was cool with it, and we're still going out now (7 months later). So, it CAN work, but as with all relationships there are no guarantees.

Pros of roommate BF: Lots of time together, intimacy grows quickly, on-tap snuggling and sexing.

Cons of roommate BF: Too much time together, he WILL see you looking like pewp on your bad days, and ARGH if it goes sour.

anachronistique

I am supposed to go to a nerdy internet meetup event tonight, and I even knitted a hat for the person who's hosting, but it has been a thoroughly miserable day and now it's raining and I just want to go home and sob and possibly order cheese fries.

SarahP

@anachronistique DO YOU DANCE? You should come out and dance.

punkahontas

@SarahP haha. Look who's all excited about dancing now!

anachronistique

@SarahP In general yes, but today I am trying to convince my cramps that they can make it through a meetup rather than sending me home to my heating pad! My body is a cage, etc.

chrysopoeia

@anachronistique A big part of me wants it to be a Firefly meetup, and you knitted them a Jayne hat.

SarahP

@punkahontas The Hairpin works miracles!

@anachronistique I could try to make you a cocktail that involves dissolved ibuprofen?

anachronistique

@chrysopoeia IT IS INDEED A JAYNE HAT. It's for Mark Does Stuff - he reads and watches complete serieses of things and loved Firefly when he watched it, and since I have a large stash of appropriate yarn I offered to knit him one.

@SarahP That sounds dangerous.

SarahP

@anachronistique YOU WON'T EVEN FEEL IT.

chrysopoeia

@anachronistique Oh I am so pleased right now. I'll have to check this guy out - I'm a sucker for series reviews. Have fun tonight!!!

Laura Yan@twitter

Also, retail dilemma help: I bought a pair of super cute pumps from Zara. They fit at the store and they fit when I wore them at home. But as soon as I tried to wear them to the three block walk to the subway...they slipped and I almost fell a few times and quickly went home to switch into my trust Ferragamo flats.

Insoles and everything didn't help, so yesterday I tried to explain the situation and return them at Zara. Store manager was not very nice and not very helpful (she was lecturing me about how I need to try them on at home first and how it would be a profit loss for her) and I was very unhappy. What should I do? Accept the sunken cost or try to take this up with further customer service? Sell them online? (They're brown 4 inch heels with an orange sole, size 6, I got them for $50 but will take less...if anyone happens to be interested.)

:(

thebestjasmine

@Laura Yan@twitter Take it up with further customer service! It is not your problem if it's a loss for her.

Emi at Project Swatch

@Laura Yan@twitter definitely not your problem if it's a loss for them! if the return policy says they will taken them back, it's fine to return them.

however, if you like them, and they're just a little too big, you can just add insoles or heel grips - that should fix it right up.

likethestore

@Laura Yan@twitter Zara doesn't allow returns right? At least my local store doesn't. That really blows the manager was so shitty though. I would complain to the higher ups.

Laura Yan@twitter

@likethestore they do allow returns, but supposedly the shoes now count as "worn" because I wore them out on the pavement for a block and back.

Slutface

@Laura Yan@twitter Sell them on Craigslist or Ebay

madgemmc

@Laura Yan@twitter i don't know if this works in the states but in the UK, we are ALL ABOUT the letter writing. if it were me, i'd write to the store manager and set everything out and say how disappointed you are with this lack of resolution and ask iif they think this is an acceptable level of customer satisfaction. then you TAKE IT HIGHER if they don't respond decently.

it usually works in the UK, to the point where i am now Chief Angry Letter Writer at my workplace for our foreign trainees who get TRAMPLED on by bad customer service.

good luck. they're being ridiculous.

redheaded&crazy

@Laura Yan@twitter try and clean the soles a bit and take them back to a different store maybe? i've done this before after somebody was like "oh no we can't take these back they're dirty on the bottom" and it worked quite well

Spinach Party

I will be going to a Tu'Beshvat dinner party, a Jewish holiday celebrating trees. Treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees! I'm pretty excited about it.

On an unrelated note, I spotted a LivingSocial deal for laser hair removal and I kinda want to jump on it? Maybe?

littlebearleah

@Spinach Party Rock star! I love Tu'Beshvat. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, TREES!

My sister is currently doing laser hair removal treatment and LOVES it. I don't really know why she "loves" it, but...I'll assume it's not painful!

Spinach Party

@littlebearleah Yeah, I hadn't heard of Tu'Beshvat before, but a new friend loves it and wanted to host a belated celebration. And I love hugging trees in my spare time, so it seems right up my alley!

And yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I think I may do the living social deal. It's kind of out of character for me to do anything splurg-y, but since I don't splurge on anything else, might as well do it this one time, right? And holey-moley, the upper lip situation is such a pain in the ass. Why is it that it always becomes super noticeable at the exact moment when you are rushing out the door to something where you need to look fancy and people will actually be staring at your face? ugh.

chrysopoeia

@Spinach Party Ohhh, I would do a super internet/Yelp check of the place before you throw down cash. I saw a Groupon for something similar a while back - did some poking around and the place had scary reviews. Someone's wielding a LASER, yo.

Spinach Party

@chrysopoeia Oh definitely. I looked up some reviews of the place, and while there weren't a lot (around 10), they were all extremely positive. The place is a medical spa with actual doctors, not just like a massage-waxing-nail salon all-in-one place where they decided to give lasers a shot. I've seen a handful of these deals come and go, and the places never gave off the best vibe (or their websites didn't- if you can afford a real fancy laser, you can afford a proper web designer). Weirdly, the thing that comforts me most is that it is in a super shi-shi town, where I imagine lots of trophy-wives live and go their for Botox. Plus it's just really close to my office....

Anyways, all that being said, I still have another day or so before the deal runs out and I tend to be Research Queen. (It literally took me an entire year to decide on a laptop- or maybe I'm just Indecisive Queen?) It's $99, not pennies, but at least it's not $500 plus.

planforamiracle

@Spinach Party just chiming in on laser hair removal. I had it done (just one session) on my legs, like 3 or 4 years ago and it worked pretty well! I also went to a doctor-y reputable-seeming place. it hurt and took forever, but I think it was worth it- my super hairy legs came out of it a little sparser. I know you're supposed to go back a bunch of times for it to totally work, but I thought it was fine for what it was. I'd go again.

carolita

Wanna talk about pms? I'm 20 days late. Just started my period today. That's 2 extra weeks of pms, due presumably to being perimenopausal. I didn't mind as much as my poor BF. Hehe. (Sorry, darling!) Also noticed a lotta grumpy people this week, not just me. Must be some weird astrological thing going on.

Alice Prin

@carolita Right? You noticed it too?? it's been a phenomenally shitty week for everyone I encounter. Super bizarre.

OxfordComma

@carolita It's true! My close friends and I were chatting about how everything made us cry this week--cups of tea, videos of puppies, the price of nectarines--EVERYTHING.

SarahP

@carolita I got mad at my husband for doing the breakfast dishes the other morning. (He did it so I wouldn't have any to return to when I came home from work.) I... don't know why.

carolita

@SarahP ha! That's one crazy mood! I never get mad at anyone for doing dishes! :)

SarahP

@carolita Right?! I thought he was passive aggressively implying I should do them before work. Which is crazy.

tortietabbie

@OxfordComma I thought it was just me! I JUST TEARED UP.

Cat named Virtute

@carolita Yes! So grumpy/angsty. Hope you're feeling better soon.

OxfordComma

@tortietabbie : One of the best things about the internet: It is never just you. :D

carolita

@SarahP I always tell people who do stuff passive aggressively that they get a thank you, but not more than that. I'm impervious to passive-aggression. It pretty much defuses them, and if it doesn't, it saves me doing the dishes....

bookbike

@carolita Yeh, I've been feelin' it too. But mostly I'm just tiiiired. Soo tiiired. And I don't know why! I'm not a nap person, but I'm so sleepy and headache-y by the afternoon lately that I feel like I could sleep forever. :(

Porn Peddler

@SarahP My worst PMS moment was trying to decide what to make for dinner when Mister said, "I kind of want falafel. Don't we have all the ingredients? Yeah and there is a recipe right here..." and as soon as he walked out of the kitchen I sat down on the floor and cried. I informed him of the situation and he understood completely.

SarahP

@Third Wave Housewife Awwww. But, importantly: was falafel eaten that night?

boysplz

@carolita I checked and Mercury isn't in retrograde so there must be a non-astrological reason for folks to be in a bad mood this week, but it has been a bit of a drag even for me. I ended up getting all drunk and maudlin at my gaybhor the other night even though I'd gone to an awesome concert earlier, eh at least the week's nearly done.

Prostitute Robot From The Future

@carolita This...makes me feel somewhat better? I've been having this overwhelming sense of ickyness all week. Realllly tired en sort of depressed? Maybe our "menzies have synchronized"?

cat-holic

@OxfordComma on Monday I cried at the Amazon reviews for Where the Sidewalk Ends

kefuoe

@carolita I'm starting to think I'd like to see a Twitter account: @premenstrual_tears all about what makes us cry.

zevachequirit

I might just be a little too excited about receiving my new zojirushi rice cooker today. it is so cute, it looks like wall-e's baby brother. I might just stick some googly eyes on it.

I also blew part of my tax return on make up products. I just need a good lip gloss and I'm done, maybe clinic famous black honey gloss? If anyone as a suggestion, let me know!

likethestore

@emjeejee NARS makes the best lip glosses. Expensive but such great colours and highly pigmented. I love Dolce Vita (dark pink), Greek Holiday (sparkly nude), and Turkish Delight (light pink).

chrysopoeia

@emjeejee I am filled with rice cooker envy right now! And sadly, not rice.

matisse

@emjeejee Also kinda expensive, but Dior Addict Ultra Gloss is AMAZING! I bought black-tie plum on sale (holla), but quality is amazing and the tube is actually huge so it'll probably last forever.

Spinach Party

@matisse le sigh, a close relative of mine used to work pretty high-up in Dior Beauty and she gave me soooo much lovely awesome (FREE!) make-up for years. And now she has a different job- sob! I was completely spoiled but I cannot ever bring myself to pay that much for make-up. Thankfully I don't wear make-up often, so I've just been hoarding my current stash and use it sparingly. But what I really miss are the skin care products she used to snag. OMG the serums, the serums!!!

EpWs

@emjeejee I LOVE the Clinique Black Honey, and Clinique just came out with a bunch more colors in that Almost Lipstick line. Get thee to a Sephora and play with them! (Also I am so excited for your Zojirushi, I have heard that those things can make almost anything.)

Lexa Lane

@emjeejee Clinique Black Honey has been my *only* lipstick since I was about 15 (that's about fourteen years now). Buy five tubes. It ALWAYS looks good. I layer it with C.O. Bigalow's lipgloss and if they ever stop making either I will cry.

EpWs

@Lexa Lane LOOK THEY HAVE NEW COLORS. (I don't know why, precisely, because Black Honey looks good on everyone and it is magical, but these are all so pretty too!)

Lexa Lane

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Because they wanted to demonstrate how many other adjectives go well with "honey"? They *are* pretty...but I can't cheat on the longest beauty product relationship I've ever had. :-P

smidge

I think the package containing the shoes I ordered for my wedding was stolen, and it destroyed my week. Maybe I'm pmsing.
Maybe I should look at it as "yaay justifiable shopping for more shoes!" But seriously, if someone took them, I hope they get blisters and have to wear sensible shoes for a month.

missvancity

@smidge One time I found the PLATONIC IDEAL of black boots, but the store didn't have my size, so I ordered online. The UPS guy just left them out in front of my building, and so, obviously, they got stolen. THEY WERE THE LAST PAIR IN MY SIZE IN CANADA. I sobbed for... longer than I'm willing to admit to internet strangers.

OxfordComma

@missvancity @smidge: Oh, I'd be crying right there with you. No shame!

AniaGosia

@smidge Oh no! That is the worst! Once the skeins of possum yarn that my mom bought me as a present from New Zealand were stolen in the mail and I still get sad when I think about it. Good luck finding a new pair if you have to! I just wore a comfy pair of cotton Mary Janes for my wedding ...

alphabiddycity

Today, I'm complaining because I just want to be social and my roommate just wants to drink at home. I'm all for the drinking, but not for the sitting at home, because I've been doing that all week while sick. And none of my other friends are free. /end pointless complaint

remargaret

@alphabiddycity Take a book to the bar! Or a sketchbook. Or both. Sometimes just being around people and not at home is enough, even if you don't talk to anyone.

madgemmc

@alphabiddycity go talk to the barstaff! some of my best times were talking to barstaff. and if they aren't super busy, they sometimes really like having someone to talk to who isn't yelling at them for drinks.

Dancercise

Anyone have any good, not-too-unhealthy recipes that call for lemon juice? I have about 1/4 cup left over from another recipe that I need to use up, but I don't want to do a dessert.

lisma

@Dancersize I always like to cook vegetables with a bit of garlic, pepper flakes, and olive oil and finish them with a lot of lemon juice. And salad dressing.

carolita

@Dancersize! Tabouli! Or use it to make a bunch of margaritas. Or a bunch of lemon ginger honey hot drinks. Loads of stuff you can use extra lemon juice for. Also that lovely greek chicken lemon soup: avgolomeno? (sp?) You could even use it on your face, if you google it.

phlox

@Dancersize In the summer I like to throw some lemon juice in my boiling pasta, and some in with the broccoli and garlic and whatever veggies (chicken would probably also be good?) in the frying pan and it makes it so light and yummy.

SarahP

@Dancersize Saute a protein (beans, meat, whatever) with veggies, olive oil, and garlic. Toward the end of cooking, as in when it's almost done, add the lemon juice. Mix with pasta. Lemony pasta for dinner!

candybeans

@Dancersize you can use it in a salad dressing, as your acid/vinegar! Also, there are some not-terrible lemon bar recipes out there that I've been bumping into on paleo (and other healthy) sites lately.

matisse

@Dancersize hummus!

tortietabbie

@Dancersize Is frosting too unhealthy?

mustelid

@Dancersize You can make sugar hair removal wax if that's your thang.

all the kittens in the club gettin nipsy

@Dancersize This is delicious, easy, 90% veggies, and tastes better with more lemon juice. Throw some chickpeas in for protein, serve over rice, with a nice red wine and you will feel like a real Grownup. Leftovers freeze well too.

tootsky

@Dancersize - You can freeze it. That way you have some on hand if you need it later. OR: Add vodka, triple sec and a little sugar in a shaker, and you have a Lemondrop Martini. It is Friday.

Diana

@Dancersize

I just made ceviche last night and it was fucking bomb. Get some fresh, fresh, fresh tilapia, an onion, a tomato, and some salt and marinate everything for half an hour. Top with some avocado, put it on chips, enjoy your life.

wee_ramekin

@carolita Hahaha, I wish you had just replied "Use it on YOUR FACE!" and then flounced off.

Also, Dancersize, make a ~*~Feta Salad~*~. This is my favorite salad and I made it up all by myself. It goes:

•Lots of lettuce
•Lots of feta
•Lemon juice
•Olive oil
•Salt & pepper

~ Crumble the feta over the lettuce. Mix the lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper to a suitable dressing consistency. Dress salad. Eat. Cry from exquisite happiness. Die, because you will never be happier - never, ever again - in your life.

Megasus

@ginalouise Lemon Pepper chicken! Lemon juice, olive oil, pepper, marinate, BOOM!

Roxanne Rholes

I'd like to propose a 'pinup to which we invite Chris Roberts@facebook and @Horse_ebooks.

smidge

@Roxanne Rholes YES

Roxanne Rholes

@smidge I want to keep snarking on him, so bad, and I think we need to perfect the balance between not being bitchy enough for him to get mad at us, and being too bitchy for him to deal with. He's just so funny! I want him around for always! Chris Roberts@facebook...are you here? Are you reading this? I NAMED MY CAT AFTER YOU.

meetapossum

@Roxanne Rholes I really enjoyed that thread so much. ASS TARD.

EpWs

@Roxanne Rholes I'd say it's bad that we're doing this, but it's clearly not. TEMPORAL ASS TARD.

Megasus

@Roxanne Rholes I totally snarked at him the other day because I couldn't resist, did he lose his shit (I honestly couldn't be bothered to check, because I assumed he would go on a senseless rant again).

carolita

Now lounging on the sofa, under a blanket,, using the dog as a hot water bottle on my belly. He's snoring softly, while NPR plays in the distance. Not going out in this weather, bf treating me to thai delivery dinner! Then back to work....

sarahe

@carolita I use my cat as a hot water bottle all the time! Thanks for helping me save on water, Molly.

What kind of dog is your pup?

carolita

@sarahe He's an adorable gray half blind miniature poodle from the rescue shelter. Name is Hammett. Such a good boy.

datalass

@sarahe I do too and also my arthritic cat's heated bed, which is probably wrong.

sarahe

@carolita Ah so cute!

wharrgarbl

Work has been terrible! Next week, it will probably continue to be terrible! But this weekend I'm going to make the hell out of some casserole recipes from the fancy casserole posts and try not to think about it. Also up on the distraction roster: cats voluntarily putting themselves in carriers but then acting like they are going to die when you pretend to close the door.

SarahP

My husband and I did our taxes this weekend (FILING JOINTLY OMG [we are newly married so this is a big deal to me]) and he was going to get a big tax return but I ended up owing a lot, so the result is that he gets a paltry return. I feel kind of bad. BUT ALSO like I got away with something! I owe no money!

olivebee

@SarahP I am newly married as well, so this will be my first joint tax filing and I don't know what to expect! Taxes make me inordinately nervous for some reason.

tortietabbie

@SarahP This married thing has some perks, hey!

SarahP

@olivebee We use TurboTax, and it was incredibly easy. So easy, in fact, that I think it must be a really easy process even without TT. We didn't have to do anything different except check the box that we were married, filing jointly. Bam!

paperbuttons

@SarahP That exact same thing happened to us last year. It was rad for me! This year we owe a bunch though :/

DH@twitter

Ugh I overdrew my bank account out the ASS (for the first time ever) and today's entire paycheck has gone to cover it (which tells you how little I make to begin with).

I wish it were next Friday. I need a drink but NO MONIES.

princessS

@DH@twitter Call your bank and see if they will reverse the fees! Most banks will do this once a year if you have no previous overdraft offenses. This happened to me at a particularly shitty moment last year, I overdrew some piddly amount and before I could just transfer the money from my savings to cover it they smacked me with fees. But I called and explained the situation and the nice man just put my money back in my account!

EpWs

@DH@twitter Call your bank! Call your bank! Especially if you've been (a) a loyal customer, (b) have multiple accounts there, (c) have family with accounts there, and (d) have a good history of not overdrafting.

lisma

Does anyone have experience with cross-pollinating of THERAPISTS?

My boyfriend and I had A Disagreement over the weekend, with neither one of us (at the time) willing to concede. It stretched out and became a discussion of Fundamental Things.

We both see therapists and my boyfriend said HIS therapist floated the idea of our therapists meeting with each other to discuss the incident. This is foreign to me, and to be honest, I still have a little shame associated with seeing a therapist.

Thoughts anyone? Anyone??

OxfordComma

@ginalouise : Actually, I think that's kinda great. Get two professionals who know their shit, and presumably, know their clients, and can therefore make wise and sensible suggestions to both of you.

ranran

@ginalouise I think this sounds like a kind of good idea in theory, but if that happened to me in real life I'm pretty sure I would not be okay with it! To me it sounds like you don't really feel comfortable with it either, and so it probably would do more harm than good.

likethestore

@ginalouise That seems kinda weird to me....like you're setting your therapists up?

lisma

@likethestore Setting them up to talk to each other about us. Sounds weird, definitely.

@ginalouise I worry about this. Um, you say some pretty confidential shit to your therapist. Maybe giving your therapist consent to share those things is NOT a good idea.

ellochka

@ginalouise This seems really odd to me. I am a therapist-in-training (I see people on my own but also get looooooooots of supervision and feedback) and while contacting another therapist or psychiatrist or whatever isn't unusual at all (with permission of course), it's usually only done, as far as I know, with other professionals who are seeing the SAME person.

I'm not an expert (maybe some day!). But it seems weird and I've never heard of it before. But really, bottom line, if you're uncomfortable with it, don't do it.

NeverOddOrEven

@ginalouise My sister sees someone that my shrink referred her to and we know they talk about us. I don't mind because we have some rather unique shared experiences (see my post below about XOJane) and I can imagine the different reactions we have is fascinating to them.

lisma

@NeverOddOrEven dude, I totally read your article on XOJane.

Interesting you should say that though, because I was referred to my therapist by my boyfriend's therapist. Not for any issues between us but for my own stuff. I have wondered occasionally if the two therapists know each other in real life or if just in passing, professionally.

NeverOddOrEven

@ginalouise Yea, ours seem to be friendly.
If someone felt weird about the idea they should definitely say so. But I'm a fan of the crowd sourcing and think it's kind of a good idea, generally.

redheaded&crazy

maybe instead you could have a joint session with one of the therapists - or both of them (separately). (or maybe together? idk that's a lot of people in one little therapy room)

MrComment

Can I self-promote for a second? (Sorry) Next Thursday, a movie I made is premiering in Boston, and you should come! (and pay for a ticket). Brattle Theater, 7:30. partylikeitsaverb.com

I'll crawl back under my anonymous rock now.

madgemmc

@MrComment if i were in boston, i'd totally be there, but unfortunately, this is not the case. however! YAY you and GOOD LUCK!!!

OxfordComma

I'm learning how to use a serger tonight (my life! so exciting!),
then tomorrow off to the fabric district in LA,
and then to a wonderfully raucous birthday party for a friend out in the desert--there will be booze and stars and maybe a midnight hike out into the dark spaces that are so vast, you can see the curve of the earth.

VolcanoMouse

@OxfordComma I want a teacher for my serger! I can thread it and get it running, but it skips stitches and I'm terrified to tinker with it. Also SO JEALOUS that you get to go to the LA fabric district. Any particular projects you're shopping for?

I just finished up what should have been a cute dress (Colette Patterns' Pastille, what what), but the stupid goddamn fabric frayed all over the place. Knew I should have went with french seams and a lining instead of facings and zigzagging. Crabby sewing week for this lady.

OxfordComma

@VolcanoMouse : NOOO!!! Fraying!!!!!

I'm having that same problem with the fabric I'm working on--hence the serger. :)

I'm making a costume for the SoCal Renaissance Faire--my fourth year working at it--and I am SO EXCITED. The skirt is this bee-a-yew-tiful mustard yellow wool blend with a herringbone pattern, and I'm wearing a navy blue chemise and a watermelon colored bodice.

SO PRETTY.

VolcanoMouse

@OxfordComma That sounds EXCELLENT! Going to be a beautiful and FUN outfit, I am sure! Is it nerdy to confess that I do a lot of costume/garb sewing? Like, my job is basically sewing up stuff to order for people in the SCA and other reenactors? Today I'm working on a couple tunics based off the Skjoldehamn textile finds, hooray!

I am jealous of your mustard-colored wool, though I do not envy the fraying! Is it a worsted suiting blend? Cutting stuff like that makes me want to stab everyone.

bangs
bangs

Help me out, grammar nerds.
Should I write "Neither project is located near ______" or "Neither projects are located near _____"

Ojo
Ojo

@bangs The first!

Ojo
Ojo

@Ojo Or you could say "Neither of the projects are..." if you wanted.

OxfordComma

@bangs: The first. Because the subject is still singular.

reebs14

@Ojo Beat me to it! ;)

OxfordComma

@Ojo : Also correct! NERD.

Ojo
Ojo

@OxfordComma Hey, nerds are cool now!

OxfordComma

@Ojo : Wooo! We're cool!!!

bangs
bangs

Thanks grammar nerds! I'll go with the singular because that's what I already had.

Also, I often use "Specific Project" with project capitalized when it is referring to a specific project, but I find not everyone does (some people would use "Specific project"). I think what I do is correct? Or is doesn't matter as long as you are consistent?

carolita

@bangs The former!

Dancercise

@Ojo It would still be "Neither of the projects is..." since the subject of the sentence is "neither," which is singular. "Of the projects" is a prepositional phrase and has no impact on the verb.

EpWs

@bangs I feel like I'd need to see this one in context? (Also I love everyone in this thread.)

Ojo
Ojo

I have an exam tomorrow, woo. It's spoken language, so I can't really revise.

And then I need to find a way to buy *real* (ie., like in my home country!) cider when the wine monopoly store is closed from 3 on Saturday and is the only place that sells it. Boo!

ranran

My band is playing our last show ever tonight and I'm weird sad about it. If Austin 'pinners who I do or do not know want to come by and probably see me cry, it's this thing.

annepersand

@ranran I want to see your band play in Austin tonight! Sadly I am in NYC.

ranran

@annepersand Aw, thanks!

Bro-lo El Cunado

@ranran Of course you're sad! The end of an era, though cliche, is always sad. I hope it's an awesome show.

BadWolf

@ranran I'm in New York, too, or I would totally come! Break all the legs, lady, and you cry if you gotta.

boysplz

@ranran Sounds fun, I'm in Austin and have no plans. I'll try to show up, maybe even drag the neighbors.

ranran

@boysplz Yay! Say hi if you come. I am the bassist, aka the one playing the recorder in that stupid picture, which I swear was not my idea and which made me really uncomfortable.

atipofthehat

@ranran

So you're the sexy one! Not surprised. Sluggo is one lucky cartoon character.

oh, disaster

THIS WEEK. That's all I need to say.

Okay, and that my grandmother's 92nd birthday is this weekend. She said the only thing she wants is a short story from me for her party Sunday and the pressure is so great that I haven't written it yet.

tortietabbie

@andrea disaster Flash fiction? Micro fiction? Steal someone else's story and replace the main character's name with Grandma?

oh, disaster

@tortietabbie She likes historical fiction, which is definitely not what I usually do, but I think if I set it on a farm, she'll like it (she lived on one for years). Whatever I write, she'll share it with the rest of the family.

Porn Peddler

@tortietabbie The thousand injuries of Grandma I had borne as I best could, but when she ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave utterance to a threat. AT LENGTH I would be avenged; this was a point definitively settled -- but the very definitiveness with which it was resolved precluded the idea of risk. I must not only punish, but punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong.

It must be understood that neither by word nor deed had I given Grandma cause to doubt my good will. I continued as was my wont, to smile in his face, and he did not perceive that my smile NOW was at the thought of his immolation.

He had a weak point -- this Grandma -- although in other regards she was a woman to be respected and even feared. She prided herself on her connoisseurship in wine. Few Italians have the true virtuoso spirit. For the most part their enthusiasm is adopted to suit the time and opportunity to practise imposture upon the British and Austrian MILLIONAIRES. In painting and gemmary, Grandma, like her countrymen , was a quack, but in the matter of old wines he was sincere. In this respect I did not differ from him materially; I was skilful in the Italian vintages myself, and bought largely whenever I could.

oh, disaster

@Third Wave Housewife You may have a future in Grandma lit.

EpWs

@andrea disaster Crowdsource it from the Hairpin open thread.

Coal Tar Epoxy

I got my surgical staples out! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I did get dizzy watching them get pulled out. Today I went to see about getting a new foot drop splint but I have to wait til I see my surgeon next week to find out if I also need a knee brace. Thank god my job came with a good benefits program! And never fracture your tibial plateau, recovery sucks.

Porn Peddler

@The Angels Have the Phonebox I never ever watch medical shit going down. I can be cool as a cucumber in basically any situation...as soon as I see it I need to take a sudden nap on the floor. Really. I've had some unpleasant procedures with no problem but WATCHING Mister Third Wave get PREPPED for stitches pushed me over the edge so fast.

Coal Tar Epoxy

@Third Wave Housewife They tried to get me to give myself a needle while in hospital, I probably sat there for 15 minutes pinching my belly and holding the needle over it before we all gave up. Tattoos, no problem. Inject a blood thinner that I could die without, hells no.

ellochka

@The Angels Have the Phonebox I am IN AWE that you could watch that happen. Seriously. You are incredible. I would have been out cold. I fainted during a routine dressing change for my IV line last week. Half second-long glance at tube poking out of my arm = nurse frantically shaking me awake minutes later. Such a wimp, I am.

Good luck with everything!

Coal Tar Epoxy

@ellochka To be fair, I had to lie down after the nurse took out 4 or 5 staples and there were 52 in all. And I didn't work up the courage to look at the incisions until they stopped draining. IVs are the worst, I mistakenly looked as mine was being taken out and almost threw up. Medical stuff is seriously disgusting.

Here's for keeping our eyes shut and being blissfully ignorant of what nurses are doing to us!

highfivesforall

@The Angels Have the Phonebox Oh jeez, I wish I fainted when I saw that stuff - instead I start crying hysterically and writhing around, which is not exactly helpful to the person sticking a needle in you! (Augh I am squirming just thinking about it)

TacoBanana

I have a question for the group:

If your ex-boyfriend, who you broke up with 1 month ago because he was a bit of a whiner, drank more than you felt comfortable with, and was more committed to his career than a relationship was kind of periodically popping back into the picture and saying

"How are you?"

But when you respond by telling him how you are ie; "Sad, feeling my feelings, not really ready to be 'normal with you' etc.." like honest but not angry or attacking, and then he says.

"Oh no I want to stay in communication with you, but I don't want to talk about anything heavy.."

What would you do?

I am too broke to pay for an airplane to skywrite "THEN GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU DUMB SELFISH PRICK" but I can't really think of a decent alternative.

ideas?

tortietabbie

@Miriam Verburg@facebook Punch him in the face? What a douche.

cuminafterall

@Miriam Verburg@facebook From one Miriam to another, ignore him. Don't engage. If he doesn't want to talk about anything "heavy", and all you've got to say is "heavy" stuff, why bother?

wharrgarbl

@Miriam Verburg@facebook You can always text him "GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU DUMB SELFISH PRICK"? It's way cheaper than skywriting. The easiest route is to just cut off all contact. Flag his emails to get sent straight to spam, hide him on your twitter/facebook feeds, block his number on your phone. If dude needs to get in touch about something super-important or heavy, he can write a letter.

TacoBanana

@cuminafterall Yah see that was the approach at first and then he asked why I was ignoring him. So I told him, and that was when he re-iterated the thing about not wanting anything 'heavy'.

The last thing he said was maybe we could compromise and I could send him an email outlining my 'heavy' issues.

So yes ignore is the end-game, but I feel like first I should say, "you're selfish" or something to that effect, I mean, I want him to understand that there is another person over here getting hurt by his douchnozzle spraying all the douche on me.

tortietabbie

@wharrgarbl Oh! Or! You could hire someone off of Fiverr to do it for you! Like this guy: http://fiverr.com/bisnisse/make-a-annoying-orange-video-say-what-you-want-to-say

carolita

@tortietabbie forget him, babes! You'll be fine. Life is short.

lisma

@Miriam Verburg@facebook I agree with warrgarbl.

Ignore forever. He can't have it both ways.
I've had a similar douchenozzle in my life and ignore was the best thing I did. If he asks why you're ignoring him, just continue to ignore him. Even juiceboxes eventually get the message. He doesn't even deserve the courtesy of WHY you are ignoring him.

cuminafterall

@ginalouise Yes yes yes. It might make you feel better in the short term to tell him how much you're hurting, but what will it really accomplish? Frankly, you'll just be giving the douchenozzle more opportunities to spray in your direction. Put up a nice big spray shield and walk away.

wharrgarbl

@Miriam Verburg@facebook I mean, if you feel it's necessary, give yourself that one reply. "I didn't want to talk to you about this shit, and then you whined about me ignoring you, so I told you about this shit, and now you're whining about not wanting to deal with heavy shit. I'm going back to ignoring you. Please don't whine at me any further." Then, full-frontal ignoring. But at this point, he doesn't have any more explanation credits in his account--in fact, he's earned negative explanations--so feel free to go straight to "ignore him like he was a mime."

TacoBanana

@wharrgarbl Nice I may use that word for word. : ) Thx

leastimportantperson

@Miriam Verburg@facebook It is so ridiculous and thoughtless that he is demanding a response from you. Completely out of line. Ignore forever. He does not get to dictate how or when you (don't) talk to him. That is so incredibly rude and controlling.

PistolPackinMama

@Miriam Verburg@facebook Oy. @wharrgarbl's advice is so inspiring.

And your ex... is demonstrating why you broke up with him, I should say. I mean... why would you want to interact with that dude now when you don't get hugs or snuggles or teh sexing, but you do get all of the sadness and manipultiveness and selfishness?

This is a mystery to me.

EpWs

@Miriam Verburg@facebook @wharrgarbl has got you covered. This dude has earned himself a pile of face-punches, so if you give him the time of day, it's more than he deserves. Be strong and awesome!

Ellie

I work at a graduate school office and one of the things I do is enter in students’ degree sheets, and today I got one for someone whose dissertation is called "On the interior of fat Sierpinski gaskets" and it made me really happy. I did take some "higher math" in college but I don’t even know what a gasket is.

cuminafterall

Got a low grade fever and a sore arm from my Tdap booster yesterday. Between that and the scary weather, I really don't want to do my mile run today... but it's only like 10 minutes out of my life, so I guess I'm going to do it. I can even run in my trenchcoat if it comes to that; I have no shame.

cuminafterall

@cuminafterall So, not as scary outside as I thought (that's what I get for working in an office with no windows). There go my excuses. Running in trenchcoat, here I come. Maybe someone will mistake me for a fugitive! That would liven up my evening.

EpWs

@cuminafterall That is the best. Imagine you're running from Tommy Lee Jones! (I don't know why anyone would do that.)

kadabra

Hairpin, can you help me? I have to go to a dinner party tonight with 6 or 8 people I don't know well; they're all 40+ and male. (we all work in the same field; they're v senior to me.) I'm so bad at this kind of party! I know the answer is 'Be Confident! Sing Helen Reddy in your head! Do surreptitious pelvic floor exercises to make it non-wasted time!' but I become very meek and sweet and dull. Does anybody have any practical tips/advice on how to cope at this kind of party?

candybeans

@kadabra I usually get by in giant rooms full of old men by subtly/snarkily flirting with them, and cussing more than the average lady (depending on the group/how much you're allowed to drink) and those both work pretty well. I don't know if I should be recommending either of these.

SarahP

@kadabra I was at a function JUST LIKE THIS a while ago! If you drink, conversations about different kinds of drinks help. I assume drinks will be served; find a way to mention that you're interested in getting into good Scotch or Bourbon or Rum (if you actually are), but don't know where to start. I learned that the older make execs in my company all know a lot about those drinks.

If you don't drink (or aren't actually interested in learning about those drinks), think about where you'd like to go on your next vacation. If you have a set place in mind, you can ask if anyone else has been there. If you don't have a set place in mind, you can solicit recommendations.

People love talking about what they know and where they've been, and these are both pretty easy conversations to draw other people into. ("John, Bill was just recommending I visit Santa Cruz for my next vacation. Where do you think I should go?" or "Tom, Eduardo was just telling me that I might not like peaty scotch. What's your opinion of it?")

kadabra

@candybeans SUCH a good idea. though, they other part of the problem is they're much cleverer/fancier than I am. I don't know what happens if you say 'cunt' to a Lord?

kadabra

@SarahP Thank you! This is great advice and has embarrassingly never occured to me. maybe I can put in some cussing too.

SarahP

@kadabra I'm not a very flirty/cussy person, so I didn't try of those things, but do try to be confident and nice. Sometimes when people (ie, me) are nervous, they come off as skittish and not friendly. You want to be friendly! You want them to be like, "Man, Kadabra is a great guest at dinner parties! I bet she'll be a great member of our Senior Dude Boardroom, as well..." **beardstroke**

Alice Prin

@SarahP YOU TELL EDUARDO HE'S A GODDAMN LIAR. Peaty scotch 4LYFE.

candybeans

@SarahP yeahh, that's probably better advice.

SarahP

@Alice Prin That's why we needed to call in Tom.

kadabra

@SarahP I'm just running out of the house now; I will see if I can get Eduardo and Tom to catfight

SarahP

@kadabra Good luck!

Dancercise

I started watching Friday Night Lights yesterday! I sense it will take up the majority of my weekend.

olivebee

@Dancersize It will also take up the majority of your emotional spectrum.

Slutface

@Dancersize There goes your social life.

Spinach Party

@olivebee Oh man, I am so very excited for you. I swoon just thinking about that show.

punkahontas

@Dancersize Yeah, it's going to take up a lot more than your weekend. But it's soooo worth it! And if you're starting now, you'll be back to your social life by spring.

twocats

I was addicted to the first season but the second season took on a more dramatic tone that I wasn't as huge a fan of (although I, like everyone else, am so so so enchanted by the Taylors' marriage). Does anyone know if they changed writers or something after the first season?

olivebee

@twocats The second season was the year of the Writers' Strike, so all TV pretty much dipped in quality that year. But the third, fourth, and fifth seasons are equally as amazing as the first!

candybeans

@olivebee I watched the pilot, and just didn't fall madly in love. Is the pilot a good indication of the rest of the series, and it's just not for me, or should I go back and keep watching because not everyone who loves the show loves the pilot? I need a new series.

beezus.

Edith! Eeeediiiith! I hear you went to Edinburgh this fall. I'm going in April!

How long were you there? Did you travel anywhere else in Scotland, or just stick to Edinburgh? What were your favorite things you did while you were there?

(Non-Ediths may also advise, of course.)

alphabiddycity

@dahlface Forgive my enthusiasm and comment-jacking:

EDINBURGH IS THE BEST CITY EVER. I spent 6 months there last year studying abroad and I'm so sad I ever left and I just watched the worst movie ever (One Day, with Jim Sturgess and Anne Hathaway) because part of it was set there and I just wanted to be filled with nostalgic sadness.

THINGS TO DO IN EDINBURGH:

- Go on the Hairy Coo tour (thehairycoo.com). It's a pay-what-you-want hilarious romp through the Scottish highlands and you go to pretty towns and get to look at coos, which are crazy ginger cows that look like Justin Bieber. Dooooo it. It takes a day.

- Walk the Royal Mile. The whole thing! Explore some of the side streets too.

- Go to Mums (monstermashcafe.co.uk) and get bangers and mash. SO DELICIOUS.

- Also eat at the Mosque Kitchen if you like Middle Eastern food, it is absolutely unfairly delicious. But honestly, anywhere Indian/Middle Eastern place you go will have delicious delicious food.

- Hang out on the Meadows! Unless it is miserable outside. Then just walk through quickly.

- Walk around through Greyfriars Kirkyard and find Tom Riddle's grave.

- Go to Prince's Street Gardens and look at the castle and walk around go down Rose Street (one block northeastish, I think?). There's a really good Mexican place around here too, called Tex Mex 2, if you're interested in strange cultural clashes....

I have to stop myself or this list will become some ridiculous amount of pages long. I can go on forever, though, if you tell me what more kind of things you like to do. Do you like drinking? If so then I can be SUPER helpful!

punkahontas

@dahlface Edinburgh is the most beautiful city I've ever seen. To quote myself "Edinburgh: You can't spit without hitting something gorgeous."

I was there for the Fringe, so I mostly did that. They have really fantastic mussels there, and of course, haggis. Which I was originally afraid of, but it's good! And in a mexican restaraunt (which was terrible) I tasted a Haggis Quesadilla, which was delicious and gets bonus points for being hilarious.

beezus.

@alphabiddycity As it happens I DO like drinking :) Thank you SO much for all these suggestions! Totally keep 'em coming! Exclamation points!!!

beezus.

@punkahontas Omg, haggis quesadilla. It would be worth eating that purely so you could TELL people you ate it. Story time: I went to Sydney in September and went to a (terrible, obvs) Mexican restaurant, where one could order KANGAROO FAJITAS. I wish I had done it, but I chickened out.

punkahontas

@dahlface See? Don't let the haggis quesadilla be another kangaroo fajita! To be honest, the haggis quesadilla seemed like the only thing they did well at that place.

beezus.

@punkahontas "Don't let the haggis quesadilla be another kangaroo fajita!" This shall be the mantra of my Edinburgh trip.

madgemmc

@dahlface ALL OF THE ABOVE, it is a gorgeous place. also, try Tablet (it's a sweet made from sugar, butter and condensed milk). it will MELT your teeth but is FABULOUS. Wash it down with Irn Bru (a fizzy orange drink with a SECRET RECIPE. it's more popular than coke there and will fix a hangover for reals). and go to the royal observatory.

punkahontas

@dahlface Life Lessons!

alphabiddycity

@dahlface Confession: I was a student there, so some of these are student-y drags. But I'll do my best. You can probably walk up and down the Cowgate (more studenty) or Thistle/Rose/etc. St. (slightly less studenty) or George St. (DANCE CLUBS GALORE) BUT, my thoughts:

Brew Dog, which opened last year and is wonderful, and also one of the best US style "serious" beer bars in the city (I think).

I love the crap out of the Three Sisters but it's only good if you are drunk beforehand and/or if you love really, really trashy hen/stag parties. If its warm enough you can sit outside and drink out of a sandbucket.

Also if it's warm: Peartree House, which is a beer garden near the University of Edinburgh, good for reading during the day. And getting drunk.

I never actually went here, even though it was super close to my flat, but apparently The Auld Hoose off Pleasance has ridiculously ridiculously good nachos. It's also a goth/metal/punk pub.

I also like the Cloisters, not far from Quartermile / the Meadows. And it's in an old mansion!

I'll try to think of more things to do. You can email me at origamicow [at] gmail if you have any questions!

plonk

@dahlface ALSO: one day may be a terrible movie (haven't seen it) but the book is really quite good, in a solid, sad way. the bits set in edinburgh made me really want to visit there. so maybe read that book on the plane ride over? (i'm really into themed reading)

beezus.

@alphabiddycity Thank you so much! I totally just booked a seat on a Hairy Coo tour -- man, they really DO look like Justin Bieber Cows!

I hope you don't mind if I do email you with questions -- I'm going by myself (have never traveled anywhere by myself!) and I don't know anyone IRL, as the kids say, who's been there.

alphabiddycity

@dahlface Please do!!! And my sister took the Hairy Coo tour while I was taking an exam one day and said it was a great thing to do alone, because the tour guide makes everyone be social.

angelan

@dahlface Edinburgh is the best! (note: I live here and may not be unbiased).

I haven't been on the hairy coo tour but I've heard good things.
You could also:
-Climb Arthur's seat.
-Go to loopy lorna's for tea and scones.
-Go to Stockbridge or Morningside for pretty little boutique-y kinds of shops with handmade jewellery and Scottish Things. There's also a french patisserie in stockbridge which is yum.
-Fail to see a single tram.
-Nyam nyam for pizza on south bridge.
-Surgeon's Hall museum for Gross Stuff In Jars
-Go to Glasgow! It's not at all far and is also worth a visit.
-If it's nice go to Portobello or Musselburgh or Cramond for sea views and ice cream.
-Check the tides and walk to Cramond island. It has bunkers on it that look eerily post apocalyptic (possibly I have an overactive imagination)
-The museum of scotland has just reopened after renovation. I like the natural history bit, but it's free and worth a wander round on a chilly day.

beezus.

@angelan Wow, the Surgeon's Hall museum looks so cool! I never would've known about that. You dear, darling little weirdos -- I knew I'd get some fantastic suggestions from you all.

Faintly Macabre

@angelan Yes! Arthur's Seat is awesome, especially around sunset/twilight.

The Scott Monument is also fun, depending on your tolerance for high, windy staircases. It has lots of cool little gargoyle-things.

likethestore

I've had the stomach flu all week and today was the first day I actually felt good and made plans to get out of the house...and of course it's snowing so hard you can't see a thing. Also I start a new job on Monday, which is good because of money and everything, but I will miss funemployment a little.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@likethestore It'll be fun to have somewhere to go, though! Congrats on the new job!

phlox

I have had the best week! Actually mostly best Thursday, my dude-friend and I went out last night and then made out all night and now we are awesome and I can't stop smiling!!

Prostitute Robot From The Future

@phlox Aw, yay! Someone had a good week!

redheaded&crazy

@phlox yayy for dude-friends! :D (and make outs!)

ilikemints

Hey Pinners, so about a month ago I posted on an open thread about second puberty. First it was breast pain, now it's migraines. I've never gotten them before, but after doing copious research, it's the only thing this pain could be so I know it's not a tumor. I first got it last night, and since my hours are later than my boyfriend's, it was just me on the couch clutching my head, nauseous, shaking, feverish (which is one of the rarer symptoms - yay me), pleading to the universe to make it stop.

When I finally fell asleep I had a nightmare in black and white where shape shifting aliens had invaded Earth, and I was one of the few that hadn't been killed, but before I woke up I decided that everything was futile and that I'd just let myself be killed. I woke up feeling like garbage, and now the migraine's back.

Basically what I'm saying is I want my estrogen levels to get their shit together because they are ruining my life, and does anyone who suffers from migraines have any tips to help me deal?

ellochka

@ilikemints I relate to every single thing you just said. The whole second puberty nonsense---WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WARN YOU THIS IS POSSIBLE?

I've had migraines since before (first) puberty. You should talk to your doctor, there are lots of prescription meds out there that can really make a difference. The one I take is called Maxalt, and it dissolves in your mouth so you don't even have to bother swallowing a pill when you are nauseated to death. Other that that: dark, quiet room, laying down, maybe something cool on your forehead or the back of your neck. Excedrin sometimes helps take the edge off, but it makes me jumpy from all the caffeine.

Being awake, alone, and in pain while your boyfriend sleeps peacefully is the WORST. Mine always gets upset when he finds out I was up all night in pain (Lyme disease is a bitch), but he is UNWAKEABLE (and also so cute and serene when he's sleeping, I don't want to wake him up). Plus, there's not much he coulod do anyway, but it does suck to be alone and in pain.

anachronistique

@ilikemints Migraines are THE WORST. Get whatever over-the-counter migraine relief stuff you can to start and apply liberally. If you can't, they're basically a combination of anti-inflammatories and caffeine. Dark rooms, no noise. I feel like staying hydrated is also important even through the nausea but that might be a weird quirk. My mom finds that ice packs really help her, so if you're feverish that might be a good idea. She gets migraines on a regular basis and has tried pretty much every drug on the market and just got Botox injected all over her head to freeze the muscles. I only get them a couple times a year, luckily. So you have my deepest sympathies.

Coal Tar Epoxy

@anachronistique My doc suggested taking both acetaminophen and ibuprofen at the onset of a migraine, so I take the maximum dose of Tylenol migraine and Motrin. You can also get Tylenol 1's without a prescription, just ask the pharmacist for them. But if your migraines are ruining your life you should go see your doctor.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@ilikemints Cold/ice packs. Blindfold/sleeping mask. Depending on your disposition, either 1) dark, silent room (use a white noise machine/app if your place isn't normally silent), or 2) distract yourself with TV/movies/video games/internet. Also, this is definitely not a healthy long-term option, but sugar/simple starches/basically any junk food do wonders pretty much immediately after hitting your tongue.

Also! Be careful using any pain-relief type meds (whether RX or OTC). It is fine to use them once in a while, but unless otherwise advised by a doctor, it is very easy to end up with rebound headaches from taking the pain killers.

EpWs

@ilikemints Oooh, friend, I am there with you--I started getting migraines recently too and they are THE WORST. Excedrin Migraine+a nap in a dark quiet room+cold packs on my head usually work well for me. Keeping hydrated is also a good idea, especially if you're taking migraine meds. Good good luck!

bot
bot

@ilikemints I second the advice to go to a doc. Having a pill around that will *work* is invaluable. My doc had me chart my migraines on a calendar, and it helped me realize that I really did deserve some serious treatment: I was in serious can't-do-anything pain about 3 times a month.

For prevention, I aim for stability of all the things. Big changes in stress impact me, so if I gradually ramp into stress, I'm usually fine, but then if I slam on the brakes for a vacation, that is when the migraines come. More generally, I've just found that being more regular about everything helps; meal times, sleeping times, etc. Also, B12 and coenzyme Q10 are great.

OhMarie

@ilikemints See if you can find things that trigger your migraines! A lot of people have triggers that make migraines much more likely. Not all triggers are controllable, unfortunately (hormones, big weather changes), but some are (different foods). My big ones are extreme stress and sleeplessness.

My husband's almost entirely eliminated his migraines since figuring out they could be triggered by coffee and Red 40. Relatedly, Red 40 is in EVERY DAMN THING and all of our cold medicine is the disgusting green kind now. We had to get hippy beet juice candy canes.

contrary

@bot I did the migrane calendar thing too and realized I was getting life interrupting migranes 2-3x a WEEK at one point. I'm on some daily prevention medication as well as as needed migrane relief meds since OTC stuff never worked for me. If you go to a doctor, ask them about Relpax. I take it as soon as I feel a migrane coming on and it usually keeps them from happening if I catch it right away (I took imitrex for years and then it just decided to stop working, which was pretty terrible). If you can figure out your triggers that helps too- I was getting them a lot more frequently when I was super stressed and 100% always get at least 1 a few days before my period.

anachronistique

@OhMarie Two of the most common triggers: red wine and chocolate. BALLS TO THAT. I also have a friend who gets them from sulfites, which means she can't have onions.

Marzipan

Well, the events of this week make it pretty clear I’m pretty much definitely sorta dating two dudes at once. What are the rules here? Is there a certain point/time limit/action where I should/need to tell them? Or is all cool until we agree to be ‘exclusive’? Or is that not a thing the kids are doing these days anymore? Maybe it’s called ‘facebook official’ now?

Also, how do I know which one I like better? Can someone just tell me? This is exhausting.

Alice Prin

@Marzipan All is cool until you reach an agreement with one or the other. (Or both, me-ow.)

Slutface

@Marzipan You are a lucky girl. Just enjoy it until you feel more for one than the other...or nothing for either!

SarahP

@Marzipan Personally, I absolutely draw the line at sleeping with other people. If I were sleeping with a person, I'd let the other one go. In fact, I'd be more inclined to draw the line earlier. BUT a lot of that is due to the fact that I tend to take things slow, and if I got that far with someone, we'd've been together for a while. But that's a personal thing; I have friends to whom who probably wouldn't be something they'd think to mention until they actually fell in love with one of the two.

Emi at Project Swatch

@Marzipan This is total golden rule stuff - how would you like to be treated? How would you feel, at this point in your relationship with the dudes, if one/both were dating another woman too? If you would be okay with that, because you're casually dating, it's probably fine not to disclose.

I personally would like to know if someone I was dating was seeing someone else around the 3rd or 4th date, or when we started sleeping together, or around one month in. Or some combination of the above, depending on how the timing worked out.

SarahP

@Emi at Project Swatch Golden rule stuff--I like that!

anachronistique

@Marzipan Make sure they are not actually spies who are also best friends?

Gracefully and Grandly

@anachronistique but if they are best friends, then you know what that means: "sex tie breaker"

(but more seriously I think the golden rule is the way to go too)

reebs14

I had a really great play rehearsal last night, first one in which I finally felt comfortable with the actor who's playing the love interest opposite me. This is HUGE for the following reasons:

Said actor is 17, home-schooled, and very religious (like mission trips and whatnot). I am 27.....and decidedly none of those things. And not only do I have to pretend like I'm madly in love with this CHILD, we have to make out furiously several times.

I mean, I know that's why it's called "acting," but COME ON. He had to ask his mother for permission to be in the show. Ah, community theater.

She Saved The World, Alot

@reebs14 This sounds...amazing! How did you get into community theater? I realize it's probably different from place to place, but I would REALLY love to get into community theater. I'm thinking of joining a jazz vocal group at my college (I'm a recent grad) but musical theatre is really more my thing and I'm stumped as to how to get started. I majored in writing in school and haven't been on stage since high school but I MISS IT! And I feel like my life would be much more fun and excited if I could meet some theater-friends and be in shows again.

reebs14

@She Saved The World, Alot Oh, it's so much fun. Granted, it eats up a ton of your time, but absolutely worth it in the end. I started doing comm. theater in high school and then again after college. I got lucky enough to be part of two theaters, even living in a tiny town (Southwestern Michigan REPRESENT!). Basically, you have to keep an eye out for audition notices (newspaper, Facebook, etc.). Look up the theaters in your area, they should have websites where you can check out the upcoming season. At that point, just pick and choose which shows sound interesting to you and go for it!

I didn't know a single person at the first audition I went to, but ended up meeting some of my now closest friends. Don't be discouraged if you're not cast - the best thing about comm. theater is that everyone is there because they LOVE it, not because they're required to do so. They appreciate any kind of help.

AniaGosia

@reebs14 SW Michigan? Me too! Where is your community theater? I'm in New Buffalo!

She Saved The World, Alot

@reebs14 Just found an audition in about 2 weeks for "Anything Goes!" (I love that musical! Did a song from it for a show case in high school!) The theater is in Queens, and I live in Manhattan...but I might try out anyway. Just have to whip up an audition song (my go to song is "Someone to Watch Over Me" so I'll probably just stick to that).

I'M SO EXCITEDDDD!!!

reebs14

@She Saved The World, Alot Yay! I'm so excited FOR you. Break a leg!

reebs14

@AniaGosia St. Joe (currently live here too), and then I'm involved with one in Dowagiac. Assistant directing "Doubt" this summer there, super stoked for that.

ohsweet

In front of my computer, avoiding all (seriously... all) of my school work. All week. I'm an adult and in grad school. God damn it.

PistolPackinMama

@ohsweet <3 u, fellow procrastinator grown up.

paperbuttons

I made an emoticon chart to the characters of Downton Abbey is anyone is into that sort of thing...
This is Mr Carson }:^c
This is O'Brien §:-c
The rest are here:
http://annie-nilsson.blogspot.com/2012/02/seven-emoticons-of-downton-abbey.html
Feel free to add more!

tortietabbie

@paperbuttons You're killing me with these!

paperbuttons

@tortietabbie Hey thanks!

Peep

@paperbuttons: <3 Turkish Diplomacy!

hallelujah

HALP ME. Ok, so this is going to sound RIDICULOUS and I Ask'ed a Nurse but I'm afraid it's gonna take her a long time to respond! Can I smoke weed if I am pregnant? My midwife & crunchy mom friends (and also science, mostly?) say yes, there's never been any evidence it harms fetal development or is linked to negative birth outcomes, etc. But then in my pregnancy pamphlets it says weed is the same and coke and alcohol! My morning sickness is so, so, sooo terrible, it would be so nice to eat something & I know that pot can do that for me, but I do not want to hurt my baby or have the Feds bust down my door either! And I'm afraid to ask my doctor!

Mom or medical Pinners help! Aaaaand scene on worst open thread post ever.

Alice Prin

@hallelujah I would default to the line of thinking that anything 'foreign' should be avoided - so that in the (unlikely!) event that something happens, you wouldn't have to blame yourself.

candybeans

@hallelujah There is a Savage Love podcast you should listen to! It's the episode from 2/14/12, #278. I think the main threat he expressed was that it reduces oxygen flow to the baby, which can be bad for the fetus, in the same way cigarette smoking can be. But, he also said that there wasn't any good hard scientific research. But, you know, you should listen to it, because I wasn't paying supes close attention, being baby- and weed-less and all.

wharrgarbl

@hallelujah Weed in moderation is fine, so long as you're healthy. It sure as shit is not the same as coke (or high-powered stimulants in general) or heavy drinking during pregnancy. Just don't smoke any more than you need to. Legal issues are, of course, a whole different ball of wax.

@Alice Prin I feel like that's kind of bullshit, though. I don't think there's been a negative outcome on the planet that the mom has avoided blaming herself for, because that's how people are. If it's not pot, or smoking, or hot baths, it's too much/not enough exercise, or continuing to drink coffee, or giving coffee up cold turkey, or getting frightened by a rabbit during a full moon.

Emi at Project Swatch

@hallelujah I would trust your midwife, but I also think it would be okay to ask your doctor - you want to smoke to calm nausea, not go out and binge drink.

likethestore

@hallelujah I don't think it could hurt the baby but if for some reason your urine was tested for drugs you could get in some major trouble, maybe? Can't your doc prescribe something for the nausea?

alphabiddycity

@hallelujah Dan Savage just talked to a doctor about this. I think it's his Valentine's Day podcast, if you want to go back and look for it. I think the consensus is it is probably fine, but you shouldn't be smoking it? I think? You should use a vaporizer or cook it because the smoke is bad for baby. Or something. And the dad shouldn't smoke if you're trying to get preggers, but obviously that was taken care of. They went into a lot more detail in the episode! I would find it for you but my workplace blocks Savage Love. (sad)

Alice Prin

@wharrgarbl Right, definitely. I plan on being THAT paranoid, though.

Related: what do we think about drinking during pregnancy? The toughie in me wants to deliver a stern finger-wagging speech about autonomy to anyone who throws shade at a mom-to-be for having a stinkin' glass of wine. I know it's a difficult topic, though.

punkahontas

@hallelujah Even if it might be okay, is it really worth the risk?

If you are nauseous, try cola syrup. It really works and is delicious.

atipofthehat

@hallelujah

Would you hotbox with the newborn, who is much more developed? I'm guessing NO.

Try ginger, if you like ginger. Buy small-brand ginger ale? Also, it's fun and easy to make fresh ginger ale at home. You need:

- Some ginger (skin should be shiny)
- Some fizzy water
- A sweetener (agave works)

You can grate the ginger finely (easy but not the best way) or use a juicer. Mix with other ingredients to taste.

wharrgarbl

@Alice Prin Science seems to say it's okay in moderation during a normal pregnancy, though the possible negative outcomes for heavy drinking would indicate not rolling the dice if you've got any kind of problem saying no to a second glass once you've had the first.

all the kittens in the club gettin nipsy

@alphabiddycity New research shows that smoke from pot isn't bad for you, and might improve lung function? Anyway, it's nowhere near as bad as cigarette smoke and, unlike cigarettes + booze, it's never been conclusively correlated with birth defects or negative pregnancy outcomes. I, personally, would be more worried about insufficient food than the occasional joint. But I'm a semi-hippy and I don't live in the US with its crazy drug laws, so, you know.

hallelujah

@alphabiddycity @candybeans PERFECT. This is perfect! I never would have thought to look to Dan Savage, but it is eerie how well that fits what I need right now!

@atipofthehat Ginger is not working, actually. I can Google, and I have tried all of the morning sickness tricks, trust me. I'm also yet to be convinced that anything the doctor will prescribe for nausea is safer than a little weed, hence my predicament.

@punkahontas The thing is, it's not "worth the risk" that's the issue, it's whether the benefits of being able to keep some food down occasionally outweigh the costs to the baby. Is it better for my kid to be exposed to tree in utero or to not be getting food cause I can't eat? I do not know the answer to that, and am finding it nearly impossible to find one, which is why I'm coming here. It's complicated!

Overall thank you for your lovely thoughts and advice!

all the kittens in the club gettin nipsy

@hallelujah This is a presentation from the only long-term study on a population where pot smoking is not correlated with other risky behaviour. US populations, because of criminalization of pot, are going to have results complicated by other life factors. I don't think anyone's done a longitudinal study on pot-smoking moms in the Netherlands, or if so I couldn't find it.

Gwdihw

@hallelujah

One thing that I would be worried about is any sort of adulterants in the weed. For example, are you 100% sure that it is all-natural/organic or was it grown in an op that uses sprays? Unless you know exactly where it comes from, it might be risky.

Ginger snaps helped (I know you said that ginger doesn't work, but the snaps really helped me when nothing else would). My mom also said that saltines (ugh) worked for her. This is completely anecdotal, but I noticed that when I first found out that I was pregnant, I was doing a lot of emotional eating and eating stuff I normally don't. That's actually what was making me feel gross and nauseous! So I cut out all of the stuff that I never ate before, and my nausea went away very quickly. Now if I feel nauseous, it's strictly because I ate something that the baby doesn't like. I take note and stay far away from it. An example includes barbeque, which I love normally . . . but not right now.

Best wishes!!!!

NeverOddOrEven

@hallelujah For what it's worth, I just found out while helping facilitate a volunteer training at Planned Parenthood that a pregnant woman testing positive for THC doesn't require Mandatory Reporting.
So take from that what you will. I take it as it probably doesn't do much harm.

redheaded&crazy

@NeverOddOrEven woah this is a crazy thread. i never even thought about this! I just assumed that pregnancy would be a forced 9 month break from my addiction of choice (and alcohol i guess).

WELL TIME TO GO GET KNOCKED UP AND SMOKE TWENTY BOWLS!

remargaret

HEY THREAD. Heyyy fiber arts. I've been macrame-ing my headphones to look a little something like this, except mine are green, cause that's what I had. Summer camp skillz!

candybeans

@remargaret YEAH! I'm wearing the pair I covered like that right at this verry second!! I used a faint, dusty pink and very light sage-y green. Still haven't neatened up the ends yet, but whatevs. Love them.

remargaret

@candybeans Daps! Mine are army and mint. The BF caught me doing it last night and commissioned a pair of red-on-red ones, too.

NeverOddOrEven

@remargaret I really want to do that but don't remember how... : (

The Lady of Shalott

GUYS. I got my thesis revisions (first round) from my adviser today and I DIDN'T THROW UP ALL OVER HIS DESK IN FEAR! Even though it was literally my entire thesis, covered in pencil scribblings and comments. I DIDN'T FAINT. I wanted to, though.

I still haven't heard from my Ph.D school. AM I GOING TO GET IN? I am so, so, so nervous. GRAD SCHOOL PEOPLE, HEAR ME.

annepersand

@The Lady of Shalott I HEAR YOU, and I was totally there. SOooooooOOOoo much sympathy, these weeks are just the worst, there is no two ways about it. But congratulations on being so together w/r/t revisions, that's super impressive and bodes well for your future as An Adult.

BadWolf

@The Lady of Shalott AAAAH GOOD LUCK! And, dude, WAY TO NOT THROW UP! I had a critique of my first chapter with my advisor yesterday, and it was SO SCARY.

Hope those PhD people holler at you soon! Am crossing so many fingers for you, even as I get involuntarily twitchy at the thought of MORE grad school! You are a brave soul.

turnipcake

@The Lady of Shalott major respect for managing to do your thesis while waiting for grad school news! I've been so paralyzed by the whole process that I can't even LOOK at my thesis. But I am sure it will all end up happily for the both of us. Good luck! :)

EpWs

@The Lady of Shalott I HEAR YOU. You will get in, you did not throw up, you are awesome! Hooray! (Also thank you for reminding me that my mercifully minor thesis revisions have been sitting next to my bed for nigh on three weeks now and I have done nothing to them. That needs to happen.)

NeverOddOrEven

Damn it! I actually do some work and miss the open thread going up.

Okay y'all, my post on XOJane went up this week. Please give me page views and ignore the fact that my full name was used when it shouldn't have been.

Porn Peddler

@NeverOddOrEven HEY I SAW THAT AND THOUGHT OF YOU! That is mad shitty that they used your name though, they publish so many articles anonymously :/ I loved it-- just enough detail to tell the story, and I left it feeling so different than I expected.

SarahP

@NeverOddOrEven Whoa, powerful read. Nice job writing it. (And nice blue flats.)

(Is it too flip to add that your baby picture is adorable? ADORABLE.)

Alice Prin

@NeverOddOrEven Oh! I just checked a couple days ago hoping it was up! off to read.

NeverOddOrEven

@Third Wave Housewife Well, I decided not to be anon, but didn't want my last name thrown in there. I give enough identifying details that it didn't want it to be so easy to figure out who we are. Not exactly a common name...

NeverOddOrEven

@SarahP Not at all! I think I looked like a boy as a baby, but a damn good looking one.
The shoes are from Target, got them last Spring and love them. Lotsa compliments too.

NeverOddOrEven

@NeverOddOrEven Ah! I finally figured out what was bugging me - it was edited. For length and some paragraphs were shifted around...

While I'm shamelessly self promoting, if you're on Twitter and care to lend me, @PapayaWars, a hand, please re-tweet my proposed tagline for XOJane, "Where women expand their worldview, and the world's view of women."

I really like the hot lady I've been spending lots of time with! She makes my ({<3}) super happy, and she's not a juicebox, and I like cuddling with her. w00t.

SarahP

@S. Elizabeth THE LADY FROM THE LAST FRIDAY OPEN THREAD?! Yesssssssssss

Alice Prin

@S. Elizabeth UPDATES. WE NEED THEM.

@Alice Prin YES! THAT ONE! Our beer/burger date turned into "hmmm it's 10am, do you want brunch?" and then turned into President's day spent at a museum drinking wine in the middle of the day and cuddling and hotness and seeing each other a lot AND SHE THINKS I'M PRETTY AND SHE IS SO HOT AND I LIKE HER. AND SHE IS LOVELY.

...and she has the sweetest little southern accent but she's this big/strong/athletic dyke and she sounds like a pretty southern belle when she talks and I am SO FOND of her.

SarahP

@S. Elizabeth Ding ding ding WINNER! Keep this one.

@SarahP She's just so nice. So so so so sooooo nice.

@SarahP oh wait gotta go we're going to grab some beers. AND NOW I will bust out my new J. Crew pencil skirt that I got on super duper clearance for $60. It is ass-fabulous and LEOPARD PRINT.

SarahP

@S. Elizabeth Is it creepy that I wished I lived near you so we could to a secret double date? (As in, I would sit at a nearby table and listen for her accent and admire your skirt and flash you a thumbs up when she goes to the bathroom.)

Okay it sounds creepy as I type it. BUT I mean I'm excited for you.

Alice Prin

@S. Elizabeth We're all coming over to swoon at/on/near you two. Le sigh!

plonk

@S. Elizabeth which one didn't you have two different dates planned??

@plonk I did! They both went well, but date 1 was with this particular lady (lovely!!!) and the other person was kind of "oh, you're nice," but with very little spark.

EpWs

@S. Elizabeth DING DING DING KEEPER. Get yo'self in your hot pencil skirt (lepoard!!!) and have an amazing time!

PistolPackinMama

@S. Elizabeth This makes me so happy to read. Yay! I am glad we got an update!

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I have just returned. Hair sort of awful looking, wearing aforementioned pencil skirt, and filled with brunch. I must now go to Trader Joe's, as I'm making her dinner tonight. :)

Cat named Virtute

Oh, 'Pinners! Maybe you can help me with two dilemmas. I'm knitting a legwarmer and I forget how to cast off--does anyone know good tutorials online for a refresher?

Also my Keeper leaked last night and now there's blood all over my sheet and mattress. I made an oxyclean paste for everything, and am about to pop the linens into the wash, but the stain under the oxyclean on the mattress is still there, the oxy has just turned into a hard crust that is sitting on top. I've tried rubbing in gently with my fingers, but it's still there. Any ideas on how to get this bloodstain out of the mattress? Jolie, where are you?!

VolcanoMouse

@Marika Pea@twitter I used one of these for my last (only?) knitting project. I had to watch it a couple of times, but I eventually managed to bind off in pattern. V. proud of self. http://www.knittinghelp.com/videos/casting-off

Cat named Virtute

@VolcanoMouse Hooray, thank you!

TheCheesemanCometh

@Marika Pea@twitter Also, have you read/seen the bind off instructions in Stitch 'N Bitch? She calls her two working stitches Harry and Sally (Harry jumps over Sally and off the needle, and then I think Tom comes along??) It was pretty cute, and a totally clear explanation, and seven years later I still find myself thinking "Sally meets Harry, then Harry jumps over and off..." as I bind off.

Changeling

@Marika Pea@twitter
I always use hydrogen peroxide for blood stains. Pour on maybe a capfull, let it sit for a minute, and blot it up. It might take more than one treatment.

spoondisaster

@Marika Pea@twitter This is kind of gross but it WORKS. Spit on it. Your saliva has enzymes that dissolve your blood (or make it go away, I'm not quite sure what exactly it does) but it's good for getting blood off of things. Spit on it, as much as you can, let it sit for a minute and kind of rub it out. You may have to do it twice but it really does work.

adorable-eggplant

@Marika Pea@twitter I use a crochet hook to bind off, and it's super easy! In the process of finding a video example, I learned this is called the Russian cast off: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iZOID3Ajrw (I *simplify* by not differentiating between the different stitches)

Bro-lo El Cunado

Guys, I quit facebook. Like, permanently deleted my account. It feels ... weird. And awesome.

remargaret

@Bro-lo El Cunado Did it two years ago. No retreat, no surrender, no creeping on people you don't even care about.

metermaid

@Bro-lo El Cunado I did that! It felt amazing. Although I have to say that sometimes I do want it back to keep in touch with people... I was lying to myself when I said that anyone who I really wanted to get in touch with or who wanted to get in touch with me could do so. It's just not as easy, people don't think to look for you that hard because facebook is just there.

Enjoy your freedom though. It's definitely liberating in many senses.

Bro-lo El Cunado

@metermaid & @remargaret So glad to hear others were relieved, too. I kept checking my ex's profile and being sad. Then I saw someone I thought I was friendly enough with in real life had defriended me and it upset me more than I wanted to admit. Finally, I was like, what does this site do for me other than depress me? Answer: nothing. Adios, FB.

remargaret

@Bro-lo El Cunado Yeah!! I didn't even realize how much I was farting around on FB until I quit, and suddenly was doing all this sewing that I never thought I had the time for. And then I was a designer for a fashion show! Direct correlation, quitting facebook improves your life.

metermaid

@Bro-lo El Cunado : That is exactly why I quit. A lot of people didn't understand that though: Don't go on your exes profiles that make you depressed, or all the friends you lost touch with, or all the girls in high school who you hated. That's what they all say.

I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF SELF CONTROL, PEOPLE! So I quit. The end.

Bro-lo El Cunado

@metermaid I don't possess that kind of self-control, either. I am glutton for punishment.

@remargaret Maybe now I'll actually write that book I've been thinking about writing and started months ago and never worked on again?

But, seriously, you guys are making me feel so much better about this decision! It feels so oddly momentous, though I know in the scheme of things, it won't really matter.

lisma

@remargaret what is it about the creeping on people you don't care about? or even worse, creeping on your bf's exs and your ex bf's exs. Like picking a scab. It is not good but you can't stop.

wee_ramekin

@Bro-lo El Cunado I quit Facebook...almost three years ago now! It's amazing and liberating, and I haven't had any bad effects from it. In fact, the only bad experiences I have had since quitting were during the one or two times I got back on to roommate-hunt. I'd start trawling through my friends list, thinking "Hey, it couldn't hurt to catch up on what people have been doing"....cut to two hours later, and I'm feeling the same disgusting, depressive, self-hating feelings that I felt two years ago! Facebook, it is a terrible, terrible drug (or at least, for me it was).

Congrats on quitting! You're going to love it!

BadWolf

HELP me, I have an entire chapter of thesis to write, and I am officially Freaking Out: I am missing too much research, I don't know enough, I don't know where to start, I am A Mess. This is only my second chapter, it is too soon for a meltdown, and anyway I have no time for a meltdown!

Please, motivate me! And/or tell me it's all going to be okay. And/or recommend me some good punk rock to listen to, because it's been the Restarts and Rancid all day, maybe I need a change.

annepersand

@BadWolf You can do this! You just need to get started. Right now. Sit down. Write for 20 minutes. Just do what you can. Even if the paragraph you write is totally stupid and you will scrap it all later, you will at least have gotten over the hump. And as you write, you'll realize more about what gaps you need to fill in!

atipofthehat

@BadWolf

This is always the way it is. Get your momentum up and you will get excited and your fingers will blur!

BadWolf

@annepersand, @atipofthehat Thanks, folks. I will take this as my cue to remove my ass from the 'Pin and get cracking. You're tops. Have a swell weekend apiece!

chrysopoeia

@BadWolf But you looked into the heart of the TARDIS. You can see the whole of time and space, surely you can beat the shit out of this chapter.

EpWs

@BadWolf Get yourself some gold star stickers, set reasonable goals, WRITE THEM DOWN ON ACTUAL PAPER, and give yourself gold stars when those goals happen. It works! (Good luck! Just keep writing! You can fill in gaps later, and even if you can't, as long as they're small enough NO ONE WILL KNOW. Trust.)

The Lady of Shalott

@BadWolf You can do it. I SWEAR you can do it. Here is my usual method: SPRINT. I turn off the internet and turn on some good music (on my thesis-writing playlist because i totally have one), set a timer (no lie) for fifteen or twenty minutes, and then WRITE. No excuses. Just do it. Then once I've done it, I'm off the hook for a few minutes and I can take an Internet break! Then SPRINT again a few minutes later.

Once you've done this a time or two, you really get into the groove of things. Once you've gotten some words down, it's easier. I SWEAR. I know because I just did it. Just vomit forth the words for a bit, and edit later. YOU KNOW THIS STUFF. You know this material. Now go out there and KILL IT.

BadWolf

@chrysopoeia I think I need a Doctor...

BadWolf

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher, @The Lady of Shalott These are GENIUS. I am doing ALL of these things. Thanks!!

iwearaFEZnow

NPR's Tiny Desk Concert series: A Great Thing, or The Greatest Thing - discuss.

Also, any tips for keeping your inner underminer from ruining the fun-but-freaky fluxy datey part of meeting a new dude?

Scott Sessions@facebook

@iwearaFEZnow The Greatest! Just heard the Cranberries concert and loved it.
And.... no tips. sorry.

candybeans

soooo i've been working on this dumb spreadsheet forever for this case the office i'm volunteering for is prosecuting, and am just swimming in inconsistencies and frustrating victims ("well, we asked the defendant to fix that, but maybe he forgot or misunderstood... i don't know, since we didn't sign a contract for this half-million-dollar remodel, i'm not sure...). BUUT i really want to go on a walk to here and get a giant slice of potato chip cake and get the phone call to my future-MIL out of the way (she's sweet, but god, the phone, i hates it). But I still want to leave at 4. but have cake to keep me company. but finish my work. but read the open thread.
making grown up decisi

sharivan

@candybeans Potato chip cake?

candybeans

@sharivan Yeah, it's this wacky layer cake with delicious peanut butter frosting and potato chips mixed in between every layer, with chocolate drizzled on top... damn. such good cake. I think it might be called salted peanut potato chip cake on the site, but they don't list their dessert menu specifically. Guess i'm staying at my desk and finishing this chart, instead DDD:

@serenityfound

@candybeans OMG That sounds like The Best Cake. Tell me where you get this, so that I can purchase some the next time I am in LA!

candybeans

@@serenityfound The Nickel Diner! There's a link in my comment above. It's downtown, and it is truly delightful. It serves one of my favorite dishes in LA, to boot (duxelle-stuffed chicken). And, there are lots of other lovely desserts, including red velvet cake with mini-malt balls between the layers! Go there!

@serenityfound

@candybeans OH BOY! One of these weekends, I'm going to take the train out of The Great Irvine Wasteland and have an LA adventure. And eat all of that cake.

candybeans

@@serenityfound maybe we could even organize a Pin up around it! i really want that CAKE.

@serenityfound

@candybeans I am hoping to make it up for either the Radiolab or Slate Culture Gabfest live shows happening this spring, so I would be beyond ecstatic to combine that with a cake-getting pin-up!

VolcanoMouse

Oh hey guys! This week I got randomly and bizarrely convinced that I was pregnant. Cue lots of panic over this ambient pressure to crush my personality up into a little ball and throw it away until imaginary-baby grows up. My MIL is/was an uber homeschool mom, and I feel like she will Judge Me So Hard if I don't slavishly devote myself to her grandkids the way she did to her younglings. I like kids and eventually want 'em, but I want more time to develop my own life. I feel like I don't have a strong enough will to be the groovy still-her-own-person mama I would want to be, and my personality will just get slowly and parasitically consumed by my young. (And now I'm worried I've offended other 'pinners. I do not intend it! Everyone with kids, I am sure you are rocking the task!) Aggh?

Now that I know I'm not pregnant, I feel like I have to apologize to my future kids for being so resentful and hateful of their hypothetical selves.

It's been a weird brain-week.

punkahontas

@VolcanoMouse When you do get pregnant (WHEN YOU'RE READY) you should get that new book about french-style non-helicopter parenting and buy one for your MIL too. I haven't read it, butI wish all the parents I know would.

VolcanoMouse

@punkahontas I loved that article, but I had forgotten that it was based off a whole book. I must find it!

The kids I babysit are sweet and precocious but utterly incapable of entertaining themselves for five minutes without seeking out a hit of maternal interaction and approval. Maybe I have ridiculous expectations of how kids should be able to act, but it's that sort of thing in particular that I fear is in my future. (Gah, committed parents, I am not trying to judge or condemn you. Please remember that I'm a stupid young lady who has no idea what she's on about.)

EpWs

@VolcanoMouse I worry that my parents will Judge Me So Hard for not having kids, even though they have expressly stated that they do not want to put pressure on me for such things and that I should do whatever makes me happy and they will support that. I think that all these feelings are totally normal. No worries. (In the end, it's your life and your kids or lack of kids. Nobody gets to judge.)

Inkling

@VolcanoMouse
Sometimes kids are naturally social and sometimes they're not, it's not entirely up to the caretakers' attitude. Most of my childhood was spent avoiding (perfectly nice) adults so I could hide behind couches and make up stories. I think my parents tried to be friends with me, but I had no desire to interact, and they eventually gave up.
And on my birthday, I'd always try to goad them into telling me where my "real parents" were! PS Just never have kids, they are sociopaths until at least 20. Reread We Have to Talk About Kevin if/when the urge strikes.

Alice Prin

Can we please merge with the "accidentally finding corpses" thread?

Lemonnier

@Alice Prin I feel like there's more to this story.

Lil Sebastian

Worst feeling in the world: waiting on bad news.

Bro-lo El Cunado

@Lil Sebastian :( Remember Ron Swanson loves you.

EpWs

@Lil Sebastian :( No bueno. Big hugs.

BadWolf

@Lil Sebastian (((hugs)))

matisse

Painting my nails at work and making a to-do list of things to get done to prepare for my week long visit out of state to see my man friend. I'm a little overwhelmed because there's so much to do and so little time!

elsbels

my wine glasses always get so disgusting when I use them. Fingerprints everywhere.

madgemmc

@elsbels gloves. or straws.

carbonation

@madgemmc or mugs.

LornaLoo

@elsbels Same. I don't need wine charms to figure out which glass is mine, it's always the smudgiest one.

BadWolf

@elsbels This is the excuse you needed for elbow-length opera gloves. They go with everything!

miwome

@elsbels According to my snarky-ass oenophile dad, you are supposed to hold it by the stem, and not doing that is YOUR PROBLEM AND FAULT. "Honestly, dear, what is the stem FOR?"

But in the real world...I say opera gloves, yeah.

@serenityfound

@miwome But what about stemless wine glasses?!?!

miwome

@@serenityfound I DON'T KNOW. I mean, I am ms. fingerprinty wineglass, and I don't really care, but...my dad. Sweet lord.

elsbels

@miwome I feel so poncey when I hold them by the stem. Also, I will probably spill it everywhere.

madgemmc

@carbonation no lie, my boyfriend had REALLY fancy wine glasses and i will ACTIVELY choose a mug and go through a lecture about how "wine tastes better in the right glass" rather than have to mess up the glass and then potentially break it when i have to wash it up. MUGS FTW.

LornaLoo

@elsbels Mugs make me feel a little, well, "Intervention." I prefer this little tiny mason jar for when I am imbibing alone. It makes me feel like an "Italian," rather than a "Wino." But I could be convinced to drink from this: HOLY SHIT!

Inkling

@miwome
Throw it in your dad's FACE that you only do that with white wine, because it's supposed to be chilled. You cup red wine in your hand because it's supposed to be warm. DUHHH DAD, YOU AIN'T FANCY.

miwome

@LornaLoo OMFG OMFG I KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY

@Inkcrafter oooohhhhh. The plot thickens. I HAVE HIM NOW.

Scott Sessions@facebook

I've been in post-3-day-weekend mode aaaall week! Can't believe it's Friday, and I'm nervous to discover a project or 5 pieces of homework I forgot about.

Mira

I've been in St. Petersburg! The one in Russia! It was amazing. (And COLD.) Kind of sad to be back.

camanda

@Mira Ahh! I want to go! What did you do there?

Mira

@camanda Froze! Ate a lot of blini and sour cream and potatoes! Wandered around a lot of heartbreakingly beautiful museums and cathedrals! Saw amazing art! Drank a lot of tea! Embarrassed myself in front of many Russians because I speak no Russian! My awesome little sister is doing a study-abroad program there and I had a work conference in another European city, so it was pretty cheap to add a few days of vacation in Russia - it worked out wonderfully!

Also, we got to see a Tchaikovsky ballet in Catherine the Great's private theater in the Winter Palace. (!!!!!) That was probably a Top Five Life Experience.

I would love to go back when it's not, like, minus 10 and you can walk on the sidewalk without eating shit. (I am not a super graceful person.) When it warms up you can take water taxis along the canals! Ugh it is such a gorgeous city and the people were so (surprisingly so?) friendly, would 100% recommend if you get the chance! I really want to go back.

camanda

@Mira Ahh some more! Jealous!

I do always have to ask because I am a terrified n00b about things -- how do you cope in an area where you don't know the language? I have an inordinate fear of this, and while I suppose my preference to live for an extended period in an area where I speak the language is understandable, I have the same fear about traveling, and it's probably unreasonable. Just, like, what are the logistics of that? I know English is a very common second language, did you have that experience there or...?

Sorry, I am so nosy! I love Russia and I want to gooooo.

Mira

@camanda I travel a lot for work to countries where I don't speak the language and they don't speak English (sorry, I know how obnoxious I sound right now, I promise I'm actually a pretty nice person), so I've had lots of experience with this! I've never really had a problem. In St. Petersburg I didn't run into many people who spoke much English. I usually just learn a few phrases in the local language before I go, and then rely on pointing and facial expressions, and it all usually works out. (It's also very good for getting over shyness!)

"Thank you" is the most important, but I also try to learn "hello," "goodbye," "please," "excuse me/I'm sorry," "do you speak English?," "American [or country of your choice] consulate/embassy," and (maybe not applicable to you!) "what's vegetarian?" Most people are pretty cool about helping you out anyway, but it's definitely appreciated when travelers have made at least a small effort to speak a little bit of the language. I managed to order in restaurants, exchange money, buy and register a SIM card, use taxis, etc., in Russia with just those expressions and lots of smiling, so you shouldn't have too much trouble!

Oh, and Russia-specific: if you can't already, definitely learn to read Cyrillic before you go, it's really not very hard and it will help so much. A lot of signs are actually the same word as they are in English, just written in Cyrillic, so you can sound out the letters and figure out a lot of stuff (stop, cafe, bank, passport, restaurant, bar, espresso, vodka...). I'm sure you could navigate without it, it's just a lot easier if you can read the letters. You'll be fine! Don't worry! It will be amazing! Go if you get the chance!

madgemmc

i ate too many biscuits this week, but they were delicious, so i don't feel so bad.

mainly the biscuits were to deal with the slightly scary "WTF is happening to my life" thing that is going on.

OH HAIRPIN! ::wail::

all my good friends are leaving the CONTINENT (not just the country, for reals, like proper far and in weird time zones which makes even skyping really hard) and i am literally left ALONE in a job i HATE but don't know what i really want to do with my life because i'm not really qualified for anything else (despite a degree! which appears to have possibly been a waste of four years given that the positive of that degree was these FRIENDS WHO HAVE LEFT ME to go do super cool jobs and be happy and fun and i am SO pleased for them, even if i am sad for me) and i'm not even sure how you make friends as a Grown Up who doesn't meet people in her daily life.

And i think my boyf and i might not well be suited but that is an ongoing thing exacerbated by other things.

AND i suddenly found out i have a lot less money than i thought i had (it got spent on STUPID things. not expensive things like yachts or designer dogs or even a pair of well fitting trousers. OH AND NONE OF MY TROUSERS FIT ALL OF A SUDDDEN AND THERE IS NO REASON FOR THIS. I HAVE NOT GOT SMALLER OR SHORTER.) so any chance i had of going to see these wonderful yet faraway people has been removed for this year ::sob::

BUT, on the upside, there were BISCUITS and an AACP LW Room Makeover this week, so it all evens out :)

sophi

@madgemmc My best friend is moving to Finland next summer, and I have not yet processed my feelings about it. We hardly see each other as it is because we live in different states, but now I'm going to have to cross and OCEAN to see her? What is up with people moving to different countries? It's bullshit.

Also I think someone needs to write a hairpin post on how to make friends as a Grown Up because I DO NOT KNOW EITHER.

EpWs

@madgemmc Oh hon, big huge internet hugs! All of these things sound not good by themselves, but together? I have been there, it is no fun. Eat more biscuits and hug a puppy if you have one adjacent to you!
@sophi Seconding the How To Make Friends As A Grown Up request. How do you do it??

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher meetups/pinups? I seriously have no idea but recently gained enough confidence to go to some of each! The "regular" meetup is a good, manageable-size group of people at various degrees of mastery in speaking conversational French. No friend-friends yet, but maybe later?

madgemmc

@sophi i need How to Be A Grown Up posts. or even How To Fake It posts, because FAILURE all round so far :)

madgemmc

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me i tried a pinup meeting a few weeks ago (but sadly most of the people were sick that day (sad because they were sick and couldn't come, not "it was sad because there weren't too many of us") and now i STRONGLY want to befriend one of the girls i met (and sent her a not-too-tragic FB message yesterday asking if she maybe wanted to hang out sometime) but after that i am STUCK. what if she never repliiiiiiiiiiiiiies??? (she might though. she's not rude!). i need to go to MORE things (what things? where do i find them? WHAT NEW HOBBIES SHOULD BE NEWLY FRIENDLESS PEOPLE TAKE UP?) and then *further* this.

i'm also asking my current friends to bring other friends-they-have with them to dinner, so i meet new people. is that bad? i don't want to STEAL, just share!

Inkling

@madgemmc
I'm also headed this way--pretty soon, all (both) my friends are gonna move across or out of the country! What do we even do. How.
Do we talk to people in stores? Bring a Kindle to bars? Sneak into college classes? Join like.. writers' guilds..?
Also, do you ever see people you'd be interested in befriending? For me, I don't have a huge problem approaching people (although I can psyche myself out unless I move fast!), but people mostly don't stand out as Someone I'd Like. They're already in a huge crowd, or too old/young, or look like everyone else of their age+gender which makes them "unrelatable" to me, etc. And then I go home alone and feel like the worst!

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Inkcrafter @madgemmc
How to meet people... Seriously, I don't even like making eye contact with strangers? Or going out in public unless I have a good reason? So I don't know. And I wish I knew. Because how do people do this? Are other adults just constantly hosting/going to fabulous cocktail parties at each others' homes, in which they meet friends of friends of friends who then become just friends, because they all already have like two dozen "close" friends to rotate at these things?

This situation with the friends moving away is actually a lot like my college experience. My two best (basically only) friends transferred schools after the first semester of freshman year! Everyone else had these friend circles already established, and I was just... there, probably looking super pathetic to my roommate. And then everyone who I managed to make friends with later moved away as soon as they graduated, and I was stuck in the crappy city where our school was trying to establish residency so I could pay in-state for grad school. I am SO LAME. I couldn't even make friends while LIVING IN DORMS at COLLEGE.

@madgemmc I totally feel you and the flirting stage of a new friendship. I had this same thing with someone who is now one of my closest friends. We gradually hung out more and more, and sort of started sharing things with each other. I was so confused at first because she sort of hates talking about herself/thinks it's rude in any and all circumstances, even with good friends, so I always thought she wasn't into being friends because I kept trying to share things and she never shared back! But yes. This is a delicate dance you are doing. Best of luck.

madgemmc

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me my GOD the secret fabulous cocktail parties i imagine people to be having with all their friends of friends. people in britain tend to meet their spouses through their friends rather than "dating" and i don't know how this HAPPENS because i never meet ANYONE through my (lovely) friends.

and i feel you on the school front. i had a similar type thing in my final year. i came back after a year abroad and ALL of my non-course friends had gone.

one of my main problems is that i try to be funny to lighten the mood or make a connection or something, but it tends to just be horrifically awkward and the other person looks at me like i'm a leetle bit craycray.

ehh! it'll all be fine in the end. we'll all find people. there should be a help group for us to check in, swap tips and keep each other informed and encourage each other :)

Inkling

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me

If you want to engage a stranger, it's totally cool to just start talking at them. Especially if they're alone, they're probably bored too! And if they are actually upset that you're talking to them, because of something IN THEIR LIFE, they'll let you know with their tone of voice and it's nbd.

My favorite way to engage people (other than complimenting clothing/asking for a light) is asking them Tourist Questions. Such as: if you're in a bar, ask someone at the bar beside you if the chicken is crap. (Now talk about food, which is best.) Basically anything that lets someone direct you and give their opinion on something, because it's an opportunity for the person to talk about stuff they enjoy and dislike! Also, you can profile them while they're talking to see if you really want to be their friend.
If you craft it right, your conversation could contain something you can follow up on, so you can say "if you ever wanna see that movie/go to that bar/borrow that book, add me on facebook/here's my number." It's not creepy! Promise.

PASSIVE AND EASY FOOTNOTE: I have attracted the most stranger attention when I have been reading at a quiet bar, drawing, wearing long socks, laughing at someone else's joke (!!), and engaging someone's pet. Good luck!

Lemonnier

So, I work for my family's business at present, and it's kind of a shitshow -- less-than-spectacular management, poor business decisions, ignoring legal obligations. But no one seems to want to face that? So I'm finding myself in the position of being characterized as the negative and pissed off person, because I'm always saying, "Uh, has anyone thought this through?" or "hey, this is really screwed up, and needs to be fixed," or "no, that's a bad/illegal idea, and here's why." Also, I guess because I'm used to being, more, uh, plainspoken with relatives, I'm probably not being as diplomatic as I would in another job?

I'm kind of torn between caring about what happens because hey, it's my family, and not caring because hey, they seem pretty content to just let everything go to hell in a handbasket, and I should be looking for a different job, anyway. Anyone else ever been in a similar situation, have any advice?

PistolPackinMama

@Lemonnier No, I haven't, but I am really sorry. Blah. :(

(A new job seems like a good idea, though.)

H.E. Ladypants

I have been spending the week in moving hell! We're moving stuff from four different locations to one place! The co-op screwed up on scheduling our moving day, so we had to panic and reschedule things! The people we're renting from keep wanting to revise our lease. AAAACCCCK.

If my boyfriend and I make it through this, we're going to last forever, I swear.

Diana

Hey! San Francisco Hairpinners! Meetup tonight at Esperpento on 22nd and Mission at 6:30 for too much sangria and delicious tapas.

lisma

@Diana I wish I could come to this but I am supposed to go to El Rio! Can there be another one soon????

realtalk

@Diana yaaaaaay!

thebestjasmine

@Diana 6 or 6:30? I thought it was 6!

KeLynn

I feel so overstimulated today. I am skipping my regular Friday happy hour to go to yoga, which is a ridiculous trade. It was incredibly hard to find a studio anywhere near my office or home that has anything happening on a Friday evening. There were a few that were "yoga and wine" or "yoga and tea" nights and I thought "NUH UH that sounds too intense for me! Yoga AND tea? Why don't you just give me shrooms and send me to a rave?!"

Thankfully I found a site for some little, new studio near my office. You have to register online beforehand it looks like, and there is only 1 other person registered other than me, so hopefully it will be low-key. Then I can go home, eat a frozen candy bar, and watch a dog movie with my dog, and read in bed.

:Cinnamon Girl:

@KeLynn I like you, just sayin. Also, your little thumbnail thing is pretty.

KeLynn

@KeLynn Thank you! Rainbow hair would be so badass, but so incredibly awful to keep up with. But imagine how pretty all braids would be! Sigh.

paddlepickle

Gosh, it's been too long since I've written for my advice column that ruins people's lives on purpose! Do any of you guys have any questions I can answer? Pwease? Post em in the reply or email fluffernutz@gmail.com!

[imprudentadvice.tumblr.com]

combledore

I got the dream job! Got the call on Tuesday and haven't stopped smiling since.

TheDragon

@combledore That's so exciting! Congratulations! I interviewed for a dream job yesterday, and hear their verdict on Monday. I would so love to quit my minimum wage retail job...

SarahP

@combledore Congrats!

RocketSurgeon

@combledore Fantastic!

EpWs

@combledore HOORAY! That is the best!
@The Kendragon GOOD LUCK! Please keep us updated!

Lily Rowan

@combledore Congrats!!!!

@The Kendragon Good luck!!!

TheDragon

@Lily Rowan @The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
Thanks! I am hopeful, but not super optimistic.

Lily Rowan

@The Kendragon Well, on a bummer note, I did not get the job I had applied for, but! Sending out one resume does not generally lead to a new job! So I am keeping hope alive. And actually doing some job-searching this weekend, maybe.

NeverOddOrEven

@combledore Oooh, what is it? I wasn't around last Friday.

combledore

@NeverOddOrEven It's the same type of work I'm doing now (I'm a lawyer-type-person), but in a bigger city close to my parents and boyfriend, and for more money. And without my boss who doesn't like me.

TheDragon

@Lily Rowan.
I know, it's just I've applied to 50+ jobs. Seriously someone hire me at reasonable hours so I don't have to work till midnight and be at school by 7. Please?

TheDragon

@The Kendragon
I got it. I am now a lab technician at my school's ecology lab. I think I might cry. Actually, I think I AM crying. I get to work in a lab. Related to my major. Which will look AMAZING on a resume.
Goodbye, PetHell. I won't miss you.

combledore

@The Kendragon Congratulations!

EpWs

@The Kendragon That is beyond awesome, congrats! Have yourself a good cry and then go celebrate!

Lily Rowan

@The Kendragon Congrats!!!

TheDragon

@Lily Rowan, The Everpresent Wordsnatcher, and combledore

I love all of you. Thank you!

PistolPackinMama

@combledore :) Yay!

Jane Err

I just moved into a new apartment by myself, and my couch wouldn't fit through the door, and my computer is still out of commission until I get a new OS disc. But the apartment already has interwebs, and those blinky lights are taunting me, like: rewatch all of Peep Show and Doctor Who, Jane Err.

Basically, I'll be spending my weekend sitting on the floor and watching Netflix on my phone.

@serenityfound

@Jane Err You should make a little sheet fort in your couchless living room. Seems fitting for watching Doctor Who.

(also, have you watched Green Wing? It wins all my love.)

camanda

@Jane Err Get a Roku! I never watch Netflix on anything that's not my TV now that I have it.

But definitely do the sheet fort.

Jane Err

@serenityfound Sheet fort FTW! And yes, Green Wing is fabulous. Black Books, also, and Spaced. . so many good English comedies.

@camanda Roku!? This is the first I've heard of it. Will it work with my old Sony tube TV? I'm googling this immediately!

camanda

@Jane Err Yes it will! The newer ones all have HDMI outputs, but they should also have good ol' component video, if I recall correctly. I have a previous-generation Roku that does not have HDMI, and that's fine because I too have a big ol' tube TV.

It's really really great and I know Wal-Mart carries the new basic LT model and you can also order them online. I watch my Netflix on it, Amazon video rentals, YouTube videos, MLB.TV. The Pandora channel is AWESOME and there are a host of other channels as well, from all over the world.

Let me know if you have questions! I am a huge advocate for these things.

Also, you have excellent taste in TV and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

@serenityfound

@Jane Err Black Books! One of the few good things to come out of my last relationship. I never got into Spaced in a big way (despite my love for Pegg (coincidentally, that ex looked a lot like Pegg)), but may give it another try soon.

OxfordComma

@@serenityfound : "Black Books" FTW!!!!

Jane Err

@@serenityfound You should definitely give it another try! I love it, but I'm a total nerd for nerdy things that reference other nerdy things in kind of sneaky ways.

@camanda This is awesome news! I'm totally going to go scope them out this weekend. Also, the newsletter is bi-weekly and mostly consists of ads for Chinese restaurants and reviews of said Chinese restaurants. ;)

@serenityfound

@Jane Err I definitely intend to. I just have to go back and rewatch all of 'Merlin' first for a conference paper that is way behind schedule...

TheDragon

I have to brag, sorry guys! My pup is the featured "Happily Ever After Story" of the animal shelter I adopted him from's website.

:) So, my day was just made. (He's Ry. If anyone wants to make me even prouder and say he's pretty)
Yes. I am an obnoxious dog owner. I'm sorry.

http://www.safehavenanimalsanctuary.net/story.htm

lisma

@The Kendragon Crap! your dog is so cute. You have total license to be an Obnoxious Dog Owner. Having such dog envy right now!

Mira

@The Kendragon Ahh but for good reason because YOUR DOG IS AWESOME. Look at his EARS! And his spotted TONGUE! Adorable! I want to squeeze the crap out of him.

Alice Prin

@The Kendragon Omg that face. And he has a window's peak like Eddie Munster! I love him!

TheDragon

@ginalouise, Mira, & Alice Prin

Awww thanks so much to everyone! He would LOVE being squeezed by any/all of you. The first picture is what I'm looking at right now! He likes keeping an eye on me.

Alice Prin

@Alice Prin *WIDOW'S, ugh.

TheDragon

@Alice Prin It's ok, I knew what you meant. I'm pretty sure that's the Collie in him?

TheDragon

@ginalouise I really want to print up an official Obnoxious Dog Owner license now that I know I'm entitled to it.

candybeans

@The Kendragon oh, he's soooo cute!
aaand now looking through the adoptable dogs (NB: I live in california). Calvin!! Draco!! Sam!! Come live in my loft with meeee!
ed: also, Tobyyyy

EpWs

@The Kendragon He is adorable I must squeeze him! Please squeeze him for me!

TheDragon

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
He is getting squeezed for all of you! He is very excited about the extra attention and is hopping around like a pup on a pogo stick.

area@twitter

@The Kendragon PUPPYYYYYYYYYYYY. Look at his big old fur face! Give him a late hug from me (extra-large, please, those are the best hugs).

t-square

@The Kendragon SO CUTE!

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

I need to go out and get food before the Storm of 2012 sets in tomorrow, according to local weather reports. 15 cm +, 90 km winds. Not nice! Ok going to read thread now.

phillystout

This has been bothering me for almost 2 months and I'm going to plotz if I don't start working through it like yesterday. I became friends with another woman over the summer, and we spent most of the fall becoming pretty close. Lots of stuff in common, same sense of humor, lots of similar struggles through childhood so similar emotional issues in adulthood, etc. Within 2 months of meeting we pretty much knew everything about each other, our dreams, fears, flaws, and strengths. One of her biggest insecurities is that she's approaching middle age and is unmarried. She views it as a gigantic character flaw. On the other hand, I've been with the same guy for almost a decade, and we were engaged well over a year ago (before me and friend met). I tried my best to reassure her that there was nothing wrong with her for not being married, played down the good aspects of my own relationship around her because I didn't want her to feel bad, and gave her mad props for trying when she went on internet dates (none of which worked out).

At the beginning of January, my fiance and I decided to go ahead and get married (did it at City Hall, gonna have a celebration over the summer). I told my friend about it (she was the first to know, even before our families found out). Instantly she became extremely distant. Beforehand, we were hanging out quite often - we only live a block away from each other. She'd come here for dinner once a week or so, we'd have netflix nights a couple of times a month, we'd make trips to the store together or text each other if we were headed to Trader Joe's ("you need anything?" that sort of stuff). Now, I've invited her to hang out about once a week since I got married, and she either ignores the invite, comes up with an excuse, or emails/texts back a few days later acting like she "just read this now, sorry I couldn't make it!". We haven't hung out at all since I told her about going to City Hall, over 7 weeks ago.

I'm at the point where I'm just going to stop reaching out, but it really hurts to do so. She's complained in the past about other friends pairing off and then ignoring her. I tried to do the opposite and invite her to a number of events/things in the past two months. I get that there's nothing I can do about her opinion, but I'm going to be pissed if she thinks I'm the one that dropped her once I got married. Precisely the opposite happened. I would love for our friendship to return to where it was, but I'm so hurt by this at the same time. I feel like I had this fantasy built up in my head that our friendship was much deeper and more meaningful, but in reality it wasn't. I'm having the hardest time not letting go. Do I continue trying to reach out so she realizes I haven't dropped her? Just stop reaching out altogether? Even invites to meet at a neutral place for coffee and chat have been turned down. Why am I so worked up over a friendship that only started half a year ago?

eta: I'm heading out to run errands & get dinner in a little while but will be back tonight, in case I don't answer any comments quickly.

SarahP

@phillystout It's letting go time. (As long as you want to let go. It sounds to me like you want to.)

But if I misread that and you don't want to let go, I'd try to reach out one more time. Set a specific time or date to hang out, then if she rejects it or lets the date pass without responding, I'd follow up with an email like "it seems like you're too busy to hang out these days, and I'm having a hard time not feeling rejected when I try to make plans. How about you let me know when you have time to hang out again. I'll be here." Then you can stop worrying about contacting her--let it go.

RocketSurgeon

@phillystout Congrats on tying the knot. It sucks that your (relatively new) friend has done an about-face on you afterward, but that's her problem, not yours. It sounds as if you've been sensitive to her feelings and made efforts to reach out, offering to hang, etc. If she's holding a grudge against you because you got married, then she's not being much of a friend. And if she's uncomfortable about the situation for another reason, you can't help her if she won't talk it out with you. Also, about her possibly thinking you dropped her- you haven't and you know that. And so does she. She's dropping you by not responding. Perhaps I'm being harsh, but I'd suggest you don't tear yourself up about what she thinks too much. You should probably stop extending invitations because putting yourself out there without reply is making you upset. If you guys have a solid enough friendship, she'll come around. If not, well...

miwome

@SarahP Seconded, in full.

leastimportantperson

@phillystout Yeah, a lot of times when people tell you "oh other people always are this bad way/do this bad thing" it's because they're actually the ones doing it. I don't doubt that she has been dropped before by someone who coupled up. It happens. But it sounds like you've already been protecting her from feeling pain about your coupledom/marriage, which is not fair to you or your husband. She sounds like she has some stuff she really needs to deal with, and honestly it is probably better to keep your distance from someone who is so wounded over something that is making you happy. She is already trying to hurt you back, and experience tells me this will only get worse if you try to push through it.

phillystout

@all. Thanks so much for all the thoughtful responses. Intellectually I feel that it's time to let go, but my emotional side has been doing its best to suppress those thoughts. I like SarahP's suggestion of reaching out one more time and letting it drop if it doesn't pan out. It sucks, but I agree with you all that there's no point in trying to force it. Just typing all that out has made me feel much better, and reading all your well-reasoned thoughts has helped immensely.

RocketSurgeon

I'm thinking seriously of quitting my job next summer when my lease is up and traveling for at least 6 months before moving to Germany or Switzerland. Has anyone done anything similar? Recommendations for places to see or avoid? Budgets?

plonk

@RocketSurgeon I JUST MOVED TO SWITZERLAND. like two weeks ago, though, so i don't really have any advice off the top of my head. groceries cost a normal amount, eating out is MAD expensive. it's very pretty and there's cheese!

RocketSurgeon

@plonk Congrats! Whereabouts? Mr. Boyfriend and I are looking at Geneva because we're pretty sure we could both find work in our fields. How did you handle your visa? So many questions. It's beautiful, though, isn't it?

emilylou

seattle pin-up tonight !
6:30p. The Sexton in Ballard. Whiskey, wine, and grits.

wee_ramekin

And you Seattle Pinners should definitely go to this Pin-up, because it is the last chance that you will ever have to see @emilylouiseie alive.*

[* Probably**.]
[** Congratulations darlin'! I am so excited for you!!]

EpWs

@wee_ramekin WAIT WHAT WHAT'S GOING ON?

PistolPackinMama

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher YES ALSO ME TOO WHAT?

The Lady of Shalott

@PistolPackinMama YES YES WHAT'S GOING ON

miwome

@The Lady of Shalott TELLLLLLL UUUUUUUUUS

PistolPackinMama

@miwome I MIGHT DIE.

emilylou

Haha, YOU GUYS! Sorry, I was at the gym, didn't mean to be so ~mysterious~

So: Today I got offered a DREAM JOB (food/restaurant writing & media!) in my DREAM CITY (Austin!) therefore I am MOVING TO TEXAS veryvery soon!!!!!! To eat tacos and drink Shiner and enjoy the sunshine with wee_rams and all other Pinners who want a new friend! Yee haw!

EpWs

@emilylouise AAAAAHHHHHHH! That is the best! Congratulations! (I am so glad that this was not a "I've made a death pact with wee_ramekin" kind of reveal.)

PistolPackinMama

@emilylouise Many happy congratulations to you! That is such wonderful news to hear. And can I say, I am kind of green-tinted with a bit of envy here, that there is an auflaufformchen and an emily for Austin to enjoy. Lucky Austin!

The Lady of Shalott

@emilylouise That is so amazing!!! Congratulations!!! When is the BIG MOVE coming down?

miwome

@emilylouise OMG congrats! That is so happy and wholesome and good and I love it!

Peanut

@emilylouise I'm a Pinner who'll be in ATX AND Seattle in the next couple of months! What should I do in Seattle?

Congratulations on the Dream Job!

emilylou

@friends THANK YOU ! I'm so excited (and stressed! but mostly excited.) and I leave next week!!

@Peanut Thanks! I can give you a ton of Seattle recs (especially restaurants/bars since that's like 90% of how I spend my time and money here, haha). What kind of stuff are you looking to do? Is it your first time in Seattle?

Peanut

@emilylouise Yes, my first time on the West coast. I plan on being in Seattle for three or so days before moving on to Portland. I'm flexible, though! I enjoy coffee, walking, folk music and kind people. And plaid.

whizz_dumb

I have a huge crush on a lady and I'm walking the tightrope of keeping things progressing without seeming too eager.

EpWs

@whizz_dumb Skimmed this quickly as "have a huge crush on a lady tightrope walker," which was AMAZING. Good luck with your lady!

metermaid

Dude that I sort-of dated for over a year recently told me that he couldn't see himself getting serious with anyone who wasn't blonde haired or blue eyed, because he knew he'd eventually marry someone blonde haired and blue eyed.

I have black hair and brown eyes. I was in love with him until I realized how much he was just using me. Even though I knew we would never actually end up together, because he's a fucked up juicebox in many ways (see above), it still hurt. And when I accosted him over it he said: JESUS CHRIST I'M NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A TYPE?

Hi dude, you don't get it. You never will. Thanks for fucking me up in the head and making me thing I'm not worth your fucked up love, or anyone's.

WHO WANTS TO DRINK TO FORGET WITH ME THIS WEEKEND, HUH?!

wee_ramekin

@metermaid Holy mother of Puggles on the cross, that guy is suck a FUCKING dick, I don't even know what else to say.

Lose that mega-JB faster than drunkenly losing your keys. Your life is about to get SO much better now that he's not it it. What a fucking asshole.

Mira

@metermaid OH MY GOD FIRE EVERYWHERE

You are worth lots of love from a MUCH BETTER PERSON. Trust.

TheDragon

@metermaid What an ass.

You're only allowed to have a "type" if you have it consistently and don't use it as a shitty excuse to break hearts. Ugh.

camanda

@metermaid Oh my God, what an asshole. Good riddance!

Lemonnier

@metermaid Is he a failed painter? Wears a strange little mustache? Walks with a weird, stiff-legged gait?

It's fine to be attracted to certain physical characteristics. But it's creepy to be like, "oh, I'm attracted to, and will date someone who looks like this, but I'll only marry someone who looks like *that.*"

EpWs

@metermaid ALL THE FIRE. So very glad he is out of the way so a dude who appreciates how awesome you look can earn your love. For serious.

ayo nicole

@metermaid What!? WHAT?! F that dude.

matisse

@metermaid wait, that is a terrible thing to say to someone who doesn't have those characteristics AND also vaguely racist... he's definitely not worth it! I'm sorry you fell in love with him and it hurts now but you will be so much better off in the long run and when you find someone who values you for who you are.

PistolPackinMama

@metermaid I am... speechless. Speechless, I say.

He's a terrible person. That's about as far as I can get.

And I am so sorry he hurt your feelings and heart like that.

oh, disaster

@metermaid Ughhhh, what an awful person. So not worth your time.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@metermaid All I can say is, remember who else thought blonde hair and blue eyes were superior?

TheDragon

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)
Like times a billion. And this is coming from a blond-ish blue eyed gal.
In high school our history teacher said "and The Kendragon would be perfect Arian breeding stock..." and I've never quite recovered.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@The Kendragon Eugh that's so icky. Now that I've invoked Godwin's law, it's hometime for me!

BadWolf

@metermaid WHAT. A. SHIT. I hate him. I will totally fight him, if you like. I would totally drink with you, if I could. He is GROSS and I am sorry he happened to you, you are WAY TOO AWESOME for a turd like that.

metermaid

@all:

I went and thumbsed up every single one of your comments, because each one will make me stay away from contacting this fool ever again. The fact that he still doesn't understand why it was so upsetting to me just baffles me. The fact that he could sleep with me for over a year and a half and yet turn around and tell me he could never end up with me because I didn't look a certain way?

And that I shouldn't be offended, and that it's "not personal" and "I'm still a great person" and that the way I look is "not the reason we didn't work out." UM, DUH you asshole, it's because YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE.

THANK YOU ALL. I will go out with my friends and try to forget about this. I want a Hairpin meetup in New York soon again, I've been too shy to go to the others alone. We need to come up with our own cocktail that involves cream and FIREEEE and juiceboxes.

BadWolf

@metermaid WORD. Lady, be strong in the face of fuckery. At the next New York meetup, I will buy you some kind of mind-altering drink. Hang in there!

NeverOddOrEven

@metermaid Wow. I have nothing to add except DOOOOOOUUUUUUUUCCCHHHE.

Lemonnier

@metermaid I too would like to buy you a congratulatory drink at the next NY pinup! Because I once had a red-headed boyfriend who was strangely preoccupied with having red-headed babies, which I'm pretty sure I'm genetically incapable of having.

atipofthehat

@metermaid

You're actually admitting to black hair and brown eyes?

J/K, answer is: "I'll eventually marry someone who's not an asshole. Because that's MY type."

Also, he sounds PAINFULLY immature.

Megasus

@atipofthehat Also: "You realize most blondes are fake, and brown eyes are actually blue eyes with stuff over them, right?"

sophi

So, on last week's open thread I was freaking out about going on a date, and I have to share that IT WENT REALLY WELL. I am trying not to be a total weirdo about it, but I would just like to say that I really appreciate everyone here for... you know, letting me be a weirdo about it. I have to have somewhere to vent my neuroses!

miwome

@sophi WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

KeLynn

@sophi Wooo!

@serenityfound

I am so happy with my adorable work outfit today (seersucker skirt, you are so wonderful) and feel swishy and beautiful and also happen to have plans for the first Friday in forever. I will have to change out of said outfit, though, as it is not "bowling with a bunch of computer programmers" conducive. This is disappointing.

KeLynn

@@serenityfound Seersucker skirts! Adorable!

Snicker-snack!

I decided this week that I want to be a tug boat captain. Never mind that I've never piloted a boat of any size ever, I get sea-sick, and I'm nearly 40. It's just become this thing that I really really want all of a sudden.

NeverOddOrEven

@Snicker-snack! Give it a whirl!

I mean, you probably want to start with sailing or something... but you only get one life.

madgemmc

@Snicker-snack! this probably won't help you at all, but i feel it inspires perseverance. my cousin worked on a ship (i don't know what he was doing) and he fell off in a DRY DOCK and broke both arms and his cocsyx. long story short, he is now the youngest irish captain of some fleet of ships or whatnot.

seriously, if he can be that stupid/unfortunate and succeed, there is NO WAY you can't.

GO and GOOD LUCK

Snicker-snack!

@madgemmc Wow. That's amazing. And thank you!
My aspiration isn't really as crazy as it might seem. I live in Seattle, and there's a maritime program run out of one of our community colleges. It gets you qualified to do more than entry-level ship-work. After that, it's just putting in time and racking up certifications.
The biggest obstacle, really, is figuring out the logistics of going to school full-time and working, probably full-time or close to it. I just very much don't want to spend my next 30 years or so of work-life sitting at a damn desk.

AniaGosia

@Snicker-snack! I completely understand that feeling. I am thinking about getting a flock of sheep. Why not, right?

Megasus

Ugh, I have an eye infection and had my braces tightened, and the snowstorm of doom has hit here in Ottawa, and I have to go back on the Greyhound TOMORROW and it is terrible.
Oh also I went off my birth control this week and there have been HOT BOYS EVERYWHERE. The bus yesterday was full of them! It was almost unbearable.

TheDragon

@Megan Patterson@facebook
WHY does it work this way? When I'm fertile, haven't showered in a while, or am generally gross/unavailable, Hot Boys abound. When I am all birth control'd up, pretty, and wearing cute panties, Hot Boys are all being hide and seek CHAMPS

Megasus

@The Kendragon Hahah I look pretty today but I'm pretty sure they were all out of my league/taken

KeLynn

@Megan Patterson@facebook Dude. Go after them. I'm still waiting for my boyfriend of 4 years to realize he's out of my league. If he never realizes it, we will be very happy together.

She Saved The World, Alot

I love the picture for this open thread! So many colors! So pretty!

NeverOddOrEven

@She Saved The World, Alot I'm making it the desktop on my new laptop.

miwome

Friends! Hi! I know I am late (I think I am late?) because, time zones, and also dinner plans, and also bars, but.

I AM IN EGYPT! Ask me anything! It is kind of hot but kind of cold because it's winter, and yes that's a thing, so depending on the time of day I am either slightly sweaty in a t-shirt, sweater, leather jacket, and possibly scarf, or I am slightly chilly in the above.

Most people on the street are insanely nice; the shabab (young men) are starey and sometimes make comments, but so far the worst I've gotten is "ooh, tits" and one guy kind of grabbed my arm for a second? But I pulled it away and gave him a look and that was it. Sooooo honestly, it could be much worse.

My friend here is being a lovely host, and her friends are super nice and welcoming, and the food is tasty (today I had Chinese food at a restaurant run by Uighurs, which was SO CRAZY GOOD), and I have my first day of work on Monday and I'm kind of scared but it will be fine.

Yes, I feel very safe! I mean, as safe as any young single lady mostly on her own can feel in a big city she doesn't know well, when she has forgotten what feels like 90% of the Arabic she used to know.

PistolPackinMama

@miwome Holy crap! YES! No questions yet- I have to run- but please have a blog? Or something? And questions later!

oh, disaster

@miwome @PistolPackinMama Yes, a blog! Your trip sounds amazing and I want to live through it from my dusty cubicle.

EpWs

@miwome Yes a blog for please! This is so exciting, very glad you're there and safe and hopefully installed in a semi-permanent living situation? Also where are you working?

miwome

@all I am very seriously considering having a blog! I just need to actually decide slash decide on a platform, &c. I would be all "follow me on Twitter!" but I am shitty about tweeting. Maybe if I got better this would be my cure for Social Media Ennui.

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I am staying very comfortably with a good friend who "doesn't care how long I stay," so certainly I don't feel precarious. I'm looking for a place of my own--I actually had a friend of mine TAKE AN APARTMENT RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER ME just today*--and hopefully it won't be too long!

I am working here, doing...a lot of things. Like I said, I haven't started yet, so it's not 100% clear.

[*But he invited me on a cool outing for tomorrow, so I can't hate him. Damn.]

Megasus

@miwome Yes! Blog! Also Uighur food looks amazing! Did they handmake the crazy noodles?

EpWs

@miwome TUMBLR. It is the best. Also, this is cheesy but forever reminds me of Egypt: have you read Paulo Coehlo's The Alchemist? It's fairly amazing, and a quick read, and I feel like you should read it if you haven't, while you're there.

miwome

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher OMG, it is too perfect that you mentioned that, because my work is LITERALLY doing a project based around the novel. (Which means I have to read it!)

I am seriously considering Tumblr. I honestly just haven't thought much about it; I've either been busy or been at a very low level of consciousness, dicking around on the internet. Hopefully within a couple of weeks I can get that sorted out, since it will be easier than constantly emailing all of my loved ones ("Yes I'm alive!") and so forth.

EpWs

@miwome It is amazing, really. Simple and gorgeous--even moreso when you realize it's a translation. Read it read it read it!

PistolPackinMama

Hairpinlandia!

I went on a date with a guy who is cute and I like him.

I am doomed. Doooooooooomed.

EpWs

@PistolPackinMama TELL US MORE.

PistolPackinMama

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I don't know what else to say, really. We had beers. We kept asking the waitress to come back in a minute so we could keep talking. He's cute. We had fun talking about cool things. We went to my favorite Russian bar after beers and drank whiskey. He's funny... I dunno?

Of course this means I will never hear from him again, because that is how my life goes. But I will keep you updated on the sad decline of this crush because misery loves company or something.

(He's cute.)

(Really.)

NeverOddOrEven

Ladies (Jane? Jane are you there?), a favor please -

I have begun watching Cougar Town and am coveting Courtney Cox's hair. Serious lady boner going on. I must get it, but need a better blow dryer. As is the custom with hair related things I've decided this
must happen NOW. Suggestions? Under fifty bucks preferred but for something amazing I could maybe make exceptions.

@serenityfound

@NeverOddOrEven I don't know, but I agree. COURTNEY, YOUR HAIR.

Megasus

@NeverOddOrEven I think you want one of those ionized ones, and lots of straightening serum so it's really straight and shiny.
http://www.folica.com/tools/hair-dryers/ionic-hair-dryers

Jane Marie

@NeverOddOrEven I've had my $20 Conair Tourmaline Ion Shine thingamabob for like five years and it is JUST starting to crap out.

thebestjasmine

@Jane Marie BUT JANE, you have fabulous hair. You could use, like, a blow torch to dry your hair, and it would be bouncy and shiny and beautiful.

NeverOddOrEven

@Jane Marie Yessss! Cheap and straight from my most trusted source. And probably at Target.

Muchas gracias.

camanda

@Jane Marie I have one of these! I bought it at Best Buy with the gift card my bro gave me for Christmas. It is awesome, and this is coming from someone with an unwieldy thick curly-wavy rat's nest of frizz for a head.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

Where have I been the past (two) week(s)? EVERYWHERE EXCEPT THE HAIRPIN. So much cray-cray stuff going on, not like life-changing, just really busy with work stuff. I MISS YOU HAIRPIN. I'm trying to play catch-up with the posts and it is not really working because I always read the comments too and agh, there goes two hours, and bummer because it is too late to comment and be "in the conversation."

Where else have I been? For three days, doing my sex diary. For the rest of the days, forgetting it existed.

Also I went to a tiny Pinup yesterday and I had fun and met cool ladies and ate delicious food (hi, semi-lurkers)! AND parallel parked in a crazy tight space. Not well, but whatevs. I did it.

Mmmmmmm, commenting. I've missed you. It's like my dealer was dry and I only now got my first hit in over a week. Sooo gooooood. (nb I am not actually a drug addict irl)

a horde of great crab things

So I should have just bookmarked it the last time I was in a state of advanced of romantic distress over a particular person, but could I request a link to the epic thread about heartbreak? I think I've done my allotted amount of weeping for the day but I can't predict how much water will escape my body tomorrow and would like to be prepared.

lora.bee

@a horde of great crab things Here is the link. Reading that thread helped me so much a few weeks ago - you are not alone! Hugs, hugs, hugs.

thisisunclear

@lora.bee oh man, I need to run out to Office Max and buy a pile of gold star stickers.

redheaded&crazy

it gets better y'all.

a horde of great crab things

@lora.bee Awww, thankyou. I was a complete mess yesterday, but weirdly enough, I woke up today feeling... kind of awesome. It was a deeply unhealthy back and forth relationship, and I've done my fair share of weeping already, but was never willing to go the whole 'UNFRIEND! BLOCK! DELETE NUMBER! NO CONTACT! KICKAPOW!' hog. Having done so feels so freeing, like taking off a cast- iron overcoat. I'm not sure there won't be more weeping in the post when the awesome starts to wear off but for today I am feeling surprisingly okay. And have just stuck my first gold star on my calendar!

apples and oranges

Yall last night I had a weird incident where I was out with a girl who said a really racist remark and in my beer fog it took me a minute to process and by the time I realized what exactly she'd said/what the implications were, I was too chicken to call her out in it. I feel like a shitty human for not saying it was an unacceptable comment. I've vowed to myself that next time she says something I won't let it slide but ughhh I hate that I didn't say anything.

note: I am not asking for someone to tell me it was ok, I just want to vent/whine/has anyone else been in this situation? What's the right way to confront someone when they make these comments?

TheDragon

@kangerine While drunk, I have kicked people out of "this goddamn bar, right now. OUT!"
It doesn't always work, but it has twice...

miwome

@kangerine Yes, I have been there, more often about sexism? but I very well know the self-anger you're describing. Live to fight another day!

NeverOddOrEven

@kangerine Somewhere, maybe here? I saw somone suggest saying something like, "I know you're not racist, but that really made you sound like you are and not everyone else is going to know that."
Except probably way more succinct than that. Seems like a good, non-confrontational way to address it.

TheDragon

@NeverOddOrEven That seems like a better way to address the issue. I am a teensy bit redneck and get riled up when I'm drunk.

highfivesforall

@kangerine I have had this happen before, where I realize a bit too late that someone has said something really unacceptable, but the conversation has moved on too much to go back to it without it seeming weird, if that makes sense. Usually it is people that I never really liked that much anyway, so I don't get too bent out of shape about it.

thebestjasmine

@kangerine Yes, this has happened to me (sometimes in situations where I can't really call them on it), and it sucks and you think about it forever and it still sucks. And sometimes you never get a chance to call THAT PERSON out on their racism, because you don't see them again or they don't do it again, and it feels SO FRUSTRATING. However, the good thing is that at least you have ideas about how you want to react to something like that in the future, because then when it happens again, you'll be ready.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@NeverOddOrEven "I know you're a cool person, but that thing you said? Not cool." Add on "I hope I don't have to revise my opinion of you" if needed. Or, if you're quick enough, a succinct and cracking "Bullshit" can be quite effective.

Elsewhere on the Hairpin, I saw some good suggestions that bear repeating: saying "[Feminism] by [sexist remarker]" in a flowery voice or "Oh, that's a really in-depth analysis" after some flip bigoted comment.

But yeah, "Bullshit" is easy to remember, if anything. Or just "That's wrong". Personally, I think it's even more effective (in some situations) if you don't apologize or explain, unless you feel an explanation is in order. You don't have to educate if you don't want to, and a lot of bigoted bullshit doesn't merit a blow-by-blow takedown.

thebestjasmine

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) Yeah, I'm with you on the last paragraph -- I think that all of the "I know you're not racist but that makes you sound like it" or the "I know you're a cool person :(" stuff is just making excuses for someone before they can even do it. "That's racist!" much easier to say, more straightforward, doesn't let them get away with it.

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

@thebestjasmine Yeah, I've been reading an awful lot of Yo, Is This Racist lately and it's having a terrific effect!

atipofthehat

@kangerine

Here's a great technique, and it will both give you time to gather your resources AND make your acquaintance extremely self-conscious:

"WAIT-wait-wait-wait-wait. What did you just say?"

[Silence]

"Because I want to be sure I heard you right." [Fix and keep eye contact]

Then you'll be certain of what it was and what he or she meant by it. And then the moment has come for you to call it like you see it:

- Unfortunate word choice that coincidentally sounds racist (RARE, quite rare, but does happen)
- Unconscious racism (of which you can inspire consciousness)
- Veiled racism (and you are positioned to rip away the veil)
- Straight-out racism (and at least you both know what kind of person you're dealing with)

EpWs

Okay, Hairpinners-who-remain, I have a dilemma, kind of. A good friend of mine got married last summer and since then (and even before, but especially since) she and the husband have moved As A Unit. Which is normally fine, I know and like both of them and really enjoy spending time with them (they are not overly PDA-y, which I really appreciate) but if he can't come out, she doesn't either. What gives, yo?

HeyThatsMyBike

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Man, my friend is like that and she is not even married to the guy. It is sad. Once she accidentally brought him to a sort of unofficial girls night kind of thing (it was an Indigo Girls show ferchristsake!) because she just didn't think about him not coming. She was like "Where are all your boyfriends/husbands?"
Wish I had some sage advice, but it is mostly, "Schedule explicitly titled girls nights."

EpWs

@HeyThatsMyBike She brought him to an Indigo Girls concert? You serious bro?

TheDragon

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
I think the best way is to explain that you love spending time with them as a couple, but you do miss girl time, and maybe you two could have one thing a week that is just the girls? You REALLY have to walk on eggshells to not offend anyone, but it's possible, and gets the point across.

EpWs

@The Kendragon My issue isn't so much that he comes with, but more the fact that if he can't come, she doesn't either. It's like, you have two cars! Come on!

HeyThatsMyBike

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Wish I was lying! And that was actually within the first few months of them dating. But yes, there is frequently a "He's not feeling well, so we can't go out." She can't use singular pronouns anymore. She's actually skipping the wedding of one of her closest friends soon because she has to go to his brother's (who she is not close with)college graduation. I was like, "Well, why don't you stay for the wedding and he can go to the graduation? He has to go, but you don't have to!" And her response was actually laughing and saying "That's never going to happen" in such a way that suggested his family would somehow be mad at her? Different strokes, different individuality strokes, I guess, but I would just never do that. And it's not a control thing with them. These are her choices!

thebestjasmine

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher You should say that! Say "Why can't just you come?" and see what she says. Or yes, schedule explicit girls nights.

EpWs

@everyone Thank you, ladies, for your as-ever excellent advice. I will do what I can, especially if she doesn't come out tonight.
@HeyThatsMyBike That is coucou banana crackers, and kind of scary.

HeyThatsMyBike

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher And sorry I quasi-threadjacked there. Obviously you hit a nerve!
But I wish you the best of luck - and really the girls night thing seems to work with my friend. And at least I like her boyfriend (this is a pattern with her and I HATED the last guy with burning fire, so I will take what I can get!).

KeLynn

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Ahhh this is the hardest. I think the "schedule girls night" thing is the answer as these other wise 'Pinners suggested. I wouldn't even say "I want some time without him" because she might get defensive, just emphasize "I want some girly girl time with you" and maybe make the first few occasions something explicitly girly - sneak wine into The Vow or have a spa day. Something that definitely screams "no boys allowed" - then when she's used to those girls nights you can do regular not as girly things, like meet up at a bar or dinner or whatever.

I had a friend who I saw without her boyfriend literally one time in the three years I knew her. Even on my birthday, when I sent out an email to a group of people that said "let's leave the boyfriends at home and hang out just us girls, we haven't done that in so long" she brought him and couldn't understand why I was annoyed at him being there. UGH.

redheaded&crazy

@KeLynn SPAAAAA DAYYYYYYY

that can be the ultimate litmus test because if she invites him along to that, then, i just, i don't, i just don't know.

EpWs

@redheaded&crazy Oh wow, now I want to do that. (Also, they both came out last night, which was great (both were invited), but they were also an hour late because they "went out to eat" first...which was weird, because we were all meeting at a restaurant. I don't even know.)

HeyThatsMyBike

Crowd sourcing! Jane's Bargain bin post today has rekindled my interest in finding some really cute, interesting artwork for my place! But I need to know where to start. Does anyone have favorite Etsy/non-Etsy artwork shops or sources they like to peruse? I'm not looking to pay for a Rembrandt, but I'm also cool with it not being bargain-basement-priced as I think paying struggling artists a fair price for their work is important and generally a good use of my hard-earned cash.

NeverOddOrEven

@HeyThatsMyBike The stuff on my walls mostly came from thrift stores. Most of it's crap but like all thrift store goods you can find some gems! And always quirky/unique.
My favorite is a black and white picture of a basset hound, just against a white backround. I named him Jorge and it even has a handwritten note on the back saying where the print is from and the date. History!

candybeans

@HeyThatsMyBike 20x200 has cool stuff--there are some really neat city maps that I wish I could buy.

HeyThatsMyBike

@NeverOddOrEven @canybeans Both great ideas! I would like my own Jorge. Keep 'em coming, other 'pinners! I have several sad-looking walls.

bot
bot

@HeyThatsMyBike A friend of mine is a painter, and this is the website for his bleach paintings: bleachdreams.blogspot.com - they're really lovely in person, and pretty darn unique. And yes, yay for supporting struggling artists!

HeyThatsMyBike

@bot Those are so cool! Thanks for the tip!

redheaded&crazy

@HeyThatsMyBike i don't know if homesense is a widespread phenomenon but it is a great place to get cheap art. some of it can be kind of generic - ikea kind of stuff, BUT i have found some awesome stuff there.

actually homesense is just great for everything.

HeyThatsMyBike

@redheaded&crazy It looks like it is a Canada thing, but also looks a bit like HomeGoods in the US! Which is another idea!

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@HeyThatsMyBike The co-op bookstore at my alma mater consigns artwork from students and local artists. Maybe there's a small bookshop or something in your neighborhood that does something similar?

girlandtonic

This coming Monday I'm getting a copper IUD so of course I have been combing the site for any and all mentions of the procedure. I have now sufficiently pumped myself up/prepared myself for the worst and am feeling pretty dang cool about the whole thing.

Thank you 'pinners for sharing all of your wonderful and horrible stories!

NeverOddOrEven

@girlandtonic I LOVE. Love love love love love mine. Good for you! Just take some OTC pain reliever first. It only hurts for a second.

:Cinnamon Girl:

@girlandtonic I have written lots on this (probably a few weeks to a month ago) if ya wanna comb my past comments! GOOD LUCK.

KeLynn

@girlandtonic Jealous!!

Changeling

@girlandtonic
So awesome! Getting mine was The Best Decision.

Over ambitious projects

So this is a little late in the day to be asking advice but I have a question (that maybe I should send to Ask a Lady, or a Dude, or even a Clean Person). Mister just finished grad school and now has a full-time job, plus is working a part-time job two evenings a week and some weekends in an effort to pay off student loans as quickly as possible. I am still in grad school, working on my thesis, and doing consulting work 20-35 hours a week. We're both very busy. However, we used to both be busy and often working from the apartment. Now only I'm working from home, even though I'm doing even more work this semester than anytime in the past. It is true that I can easily monitor a pot of chilli or do some dishes as a breather, which he can't. We're struggling to figure out how much housework makes us equal, which was a lot easier eight months ago.
This is fairly minor but we rarely disagree in any serious way, so this is a source of unexpected stress for me and I don't think it's the type of issue that magically goes away for couples. Any advice on division of labor? Would it be incredibly stupid to suggest we clock ourselves on house work for a week?

atipofthehat

@Over ambitious projects

What has worked best for me is not rigid rules but situation-sensitive load-balancing. Whoever is more stressed out gets cut a break until he or she catches up; everyone takes turns, cooperates, and makes it fun. If both are exhausted, co-decide on what should be skipped or postposed.

planforamiracle

@Over ambitious projects hmm.. I have no experience with this, but I think it might be more comfortable/less awkward to think of it as taking turns than as hours clocked. ie, I make dinner Mon, Wed, Fri, you make dinner Tues, Thurs + weekends. Or something.

I once had a disagreement with a former roommate over division of domestic labour, over her opinion that whichever of us was "home more" (scare quotes because it's so annoyingly vague) should pick up the slack with dishes, sweeping, and whatnot. It was her view that it would eventually even out, as we had both gone through periods of being "home more." I didn't agree with doing it that way but didn't want to fight about it, so I just passive-aggressively changed her perception of me being "home more"— I did my work at the library in our neighbourhood (bonus- fewer distractions and I got way more done.) Maybe not the best solution, but it worked. OBVIOUSLY one is more inclined to share and be sensitive with a partner than with a roommate.

Anyway, long-winded way of saying... good luck!

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Over ambitious projects If both of your busy schedules are about the same every week, what if you try figuring out who can do what during those schedules? Like, can he do some groceries on the way home from Job #1 on Tuesday, and then while you research on Wednesday you make a few days' worth of meals? Does he get home early enough one night to sort some laundry and throw in a load before bed, then put it in the dryer when he wakes up the next day?
It sounds kinda complicated, but you're both hard-working people, so I'm sure you can work something out.

ohsweet

So, I need to do a bunch of paper-writing for school this weekend and I'm realizing my room/bed is not helping. Anyone know of good coffee shops in NYC (Manhattan, specifically) that have tables and preferably free wi-fi? And outlets because my laptop is old and has a crummy battery life?

KeLynn

@ohsweet What about the library?

Megasus

GUYS GUYS I SIGNED UP FOR GLYMM. Also I am trying to get a grab bag from Jewelmint but it hasn't processed yet so I'm thinking that is a sign I won't get one?

redheaded&crazy

@Megan Patterson@facebook I've been looking at all the glymm past months and now I kinda want glymm instead of julep! You get more stuff! For less! But no, I'm gonna stick it out with nail polish for 3 months. and then maybe go for glymm instead. so you have to let me know what comes in your boxes!

Megasus

@Megan Patterson@facebook Oh I will, because I am gonna be super excited that day.

KeLynn

@Megan Patterson@facebook Man! I just looked and Glymm looks awesome, but I am in the US :(

Megasus

@KeLynn Y'alls have BeautyMint and Birchbox and probably tons of others I haven't even heard of! Also when I signed up I think you could pick U.S.?

KeLynn

@Megan Patterson@facebook When I was looking at the site it said somewhere it was Canada only. Also, apparently I am painfully out of the loop - off to check those two out right now! Thanks!

Munich Pixie Dream Girl

So I realize that probably most 'pinnners have long gone to bed, but I had a question that maybe some of y'all can answer? I realize this may seem juvenile compared to say a Bob and Eli situation, but I blame it on still being an undergrad English major, who clearly overanalyzes everything. Anyways, there's this guy that I've known since freshman year, and I've finally admitted to a few select friends (while admittedly pretty drunk) that I have been attracted to him since sophomore year at the start of this academic year. The thing is he is coming down over his spring break (probably around St.Patty's Day) to visit the group of us that has been friends since we were freshman. I guess my long and drawn out question would be is, should I risk a relatively solid friendship by exposing my true feelings, or should I focus my attention on other fellas who are probably (in all honesty) better worth my time?

madgemmc

@lostinthesupermarket so, probably late to be answering this, but timezones!
also, i have no concrete advice, but everytime i've said something in a similar situation i would crash and burn horribly, so my recommendation would be to be careful of phrasing so you can give yourself an Out if you need to.

that's not really helpful. sorry :( but i wish you luck and good outcomes whatever you decide.

Munich Pixie Dream Girl

@madgemmc No, your response was helpful! I feel like it's always good to have an outside point of view in these kinds of situations. Thank you!

PistolPackinMama

@lostinthesupermarket I was all "yes yes, do it." Until "better worth your time."

Spend your energy on the people who are better worth your time, for whatever reason. Not because you could crash and burn, but because if you are going to crash and burn, make the risk worth it for something that could be special.

redheaded&crazy

blech i want to talk about how ____ is telling all my friends that they have to pick between us, and it's super stressful because i've been trying not to put them in the middle as much as possible, but it takes two to do that.

but the silver lining is that a lot of my friends have made an effort to show that they're not going to pick, that the person making the ultimatum is going to lose, that they still want to be friends with me ... and that makes me feel really happy and sad at the same time, happy of course because it makes me feel like they actually value my friendship which is something i constantly doubt about myself (because i have ~issues!~), but sad i guess because they have to go through this for my sake and i don't understand why we can't all just be mature adults who see each other and are friendly and that's it.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@redheaded&crazy I feel like I have been exactly where you are, and don't worry, while it might be difficult for some people to feel "caught in the middle" they won't pick sides unless for some reason their relationship with either one of you wasn't worth having anyway.
Take it from me and my recent Regina George drama - I just happened to end up on not her side of a friend-breakup, and then she just happened to end up on my ex-boy, but neither he nor she have managed to keep any of our mutual friends on *their* side. Why? Because our friends are mature, intelligent people.

Megasus

@redheaded&crazy I can't believe a grown woman/man is making people "pick sides"

redheaded&crazy

@Megan Patterson@facebook indeed it's somewhat consoling to know that our friends think he is acting like a baby.

@Rookie it's starting to get "somewhat" better now, like, for the first 6 months it's kind of understandable to have some distance, and even now I understand not wanting to hang out every weekend with your ex (I don't think it would be healthy for me either although i well and truly have no interest in this guy anymore watching him treat his friends this way)

it's just hard for me to know what to do. my original plan to back out, our friends told me not to because it would be letting him think his behaviour is acceptable. i guess just show up to some things sometimes and try to be friendly right?

redheaded&crazy

also your name reminded me

@Rookie magazine: thank you for this article and thank you to whoever posted it somewhere on the hairpin.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@redheaded&crazy A) This article is awesome.
B) Show up if you want to, because you're mature and you can make your own choices, and hang out with the people you want to hang out with. You're there to see your friends. However, don't just take my advice - Pin commentariat, more opinions are needed!

redheaded&crazy

@Rookie no it's good advice. it's what I will aspire to for sure! i just need to be less neurotic about it cuz i think that could start to get exasperating for people :P

PistolPackinMama

@Rookie No, not really. Your advice was perfect.

His behavior is his business. It might feel like his actions are pulling and warping the fabric of your life. But it won't help to pull and warp in the opposite direction. That's what he wants, if he wants anything from you at all.

Just... do your thing with people you like when you like based on what will be happy-making, healthy, and schedule-fitting for you. Your ex, if it bothers him, can work out the details of how to handle the issue.

And remember- he no longer has access to your heart-vagina, heart, or thoughts. They are yours to share are you like or don't like. The easiest way to make clear he is on the outside to yourself and to him is be relentlessly cheerful and polite.

"Hi, nice to see you. Hope all is well. You take care now, byeeee!"

"Oh, thanks for asking. I am fine. You take care now. Byeeeee!"

redheaded&crazy

@PistolPackinMama Relentless cheery politeness in the face of total friggin jerks just so happens to be one of my super powers! I can do it. Although, it's still kind of awkward. But practice makes perfect!

OwlOfDerision

Have you seen this? http://iwl.me/

It analyses your writing style and compares it to that of a famous author. Apparently my PhD thesis is in the style of H.P. Lovecraft.

I might try and work Cthulu into my lit. review chapter, just for laffs.

Megasus

@OwlOfDerision This is awesome! I got Lovecraft too, for this article I wrote: http://blog404.org/2012/02/21/20th-century-fashions-imagined-by-the-19th-century/#more-1134
I guess because I mention alien plant monsters? More than once?

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Megan Patterson@facebook I ALSO got Lovecraft? Is this thing just secretly a HPL promo?

ETA: I got Lovecraft for an English Lit paper. I got DFW for a livejournal entry from 3 years ago and an email from a couple weeks ago. I got Ursula K Le Guin for a Philosophy paper.

HeyThatsMyBike

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me I got Le Guin for two separate chunks of my dissertation proposal.

The Lady of Shalott

@OwlOfDerision Oh my gooood, I just plugged in part of my thesis, and I got David Foster Wallace for one chapter and H.P. Lovecraft for another. I am so uncultured that I had to look up who David Foster Wallace WAS, and I'm slightly concerned that it thinks that my thesis qualifies as "hysterical realism" which is typified by "strong contrast between elaborately absurd prose, plotting, or characterization and careful, detailed investigations of real specific social phenomena."

THE THINGS THE INTERNET TEACHES ME

Megasus

@OwlOfDerision Is it wrong that I wish I were Le Guin instead? I kind of don't like Lovecraft's writing style. Also I think this thing is inaccurate because it mostly judges on content rather than style.

Megasus

@The Lady of Shalott So I put in a short thing I just wrote about the new Prada collection, and it said it was like William Gibson (aka the father of cyberpunk) which is REALLY WEIRD.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Alright, so yesterday I won my office's Oscar trivia contest (with a partner, but still, we were the Dream Team in an office filled with people who love movies and/or trivia)!

And then I went to a hockey game and I sat right behind the glass, next to the penalty box, and I got to bang on the glass and yell and be obnoxious and at one point the other team's backup goalie gave me the stinkeye and it was hilarious. And then my team won in a shootout and then, just by chance, my team's captain happened to walk in to the same pub where my friends and I were having a post-game drink and overall it was an awesome day.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Rookie Also I'm glad I had a good yesterday because it was preceded by four days of stress headaches at work and finding out that the first time my mom avoids calls from the bank/credit card company, those calls just happened to be Visa asking me why I didn't pay my bill last month, which I somehow DID NOT KNOW, and now I have to pay interest.

LornaLoo

@Rookie banging on the glass is my number one sports fantasy. Who is your team?

LornaLoo

@LornaLoo I am assuming it's not the same as mine, as mine lost in a shoot out on Thursday and play again tonight... (Red Wings)

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@LornaLoo awww, poor Red Wings and their winning streak. I was hoping they'd just keep winning. But Manny Malhotra's reaction to winning almost makes up for it, almost.
I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan, and twice a season their AHL affiliate (the Hamilton Bulldogs) play at the Bell Centre, and tickets don't cost as much as they do for Habs games, so I can actually afford to sit behind the glass. Also our new acquisition, Blake Geoffrion, was there (his grandfather and great-grandfather are Habs legends) so I can be all smug and say I was at his first Bell Centre game.
Anyway, banging on the glass is so much fun. It made my hands hurt but I don't care. I just went for it.

LornaLoo

@Rookie I'm not too broken up about the winning streak ending, although I do agree I wanted it to never stop! Boyfriend bought me 6th row tickets at the Joe for the New Years game, and that is about as close as I've ever been and I'm proud to say I was at one of the games in the streak!

I live in Chicago now, so the Wolves are the closest affiliate and they play out in the 'burbs, so no car, no Wolves games, which is sad. To my knowledge they don't ever play at United Center, but that's worth looking into!

It used to be that you could get Blackhawks tickets for like $10 on game days, but since they started showing them on TV again, and they began to win (obv!) they are harder to come by. Plus, the Detroit Sucks cheers at the United Center are too much to handle, since they happen even when Detroit isn't playing. Lots of Detroit haters, I have to watch games at designated bars lest I suffer abuse.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@LornaLoo That's why I could probably never move. I like so many Western Conference teams that I probably wouldn't survive in any Western city because I'd be so happy to see whoever the visiting team is. I'd be all, "Detroit doesn't suck! Also, go Hawks!"

ugh, I love Detroit. And Chicago. What I wouldn't do to see either team more often!

LornaLoo

@Rookie It is tough! and the logic of saying "Detroit Sucks" is the worst, because they say it when they lose to Detroit too... and instead of it being about sports, it's about the quality of the city. Which hurts more, and isn't fair, since most of these jerks have never been to Detroit.
I also love the Western, and wish I didn't feel so terribly out of place in the United Center, otherwise I would go to A LOT more games.

Anyway, Go Canadiens! Go Wings!

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Original Six, woo!!
(except the Bruins... those jerks)

redheaded&crazy

@Rookie and the leafs ... cuz come on boys

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@redheaded&crazy I don't know how this became a separate thread from the one directly above it, but, yeah, come on, Leafs, wtf kind of name is "Joffrey" anyway?
And other things.

redheaded&crazy

@Rookie "and other things"

no no, its just that one you mentioned

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@redheaded&crazy no, but so many things! It's part of my makeup as a Habs fan to have things against the Leafs. But mostly the "Joffrey" thing.
And Dion Phaneuf's voice.

Two-Headed Girl

Is anyone still here? Because last night I tried NUTELLA PIZZA, and saw the face of god.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Two-Headed Girl WHAT. WHERE. HOW. TELL ME MORE.

Two-Headed Girl

@Veronica Mars is smarter than me At this Neopolitan pizza place in my city! They use their regular pizza crust folded calzone style over Nutella, then topped with whipped cream and drizzled with chocolate. It was possibly the greatest thing I have ever eaten.

The same restaurant does Nutella mochas, too, but I was way too full.

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@Two-Headed Girl o m g Hairpin I had a Nutella pizza a couple of years ago, but I failed to tell you all of its existence. They are truly glorious.
Two-Headed Girl, please go back and try the Nutella mocha.

Two-Headed Girl

@Rookie Obviously this is already in the plan! (Added benefit: it's next door to my favourite bar, which lacks a kitchen and thus lets you bring in outside food. HMMMMMMM.)

notandersoncooper

Weekend at The Hairpin is a thing?

redheaded&crazy

@notandersoncooper oh we are making it a thing

cakewinner

@redheaded&crazy yay! cause I never have time to comment during the week, especially since I'm on the west coast. there are some 'pinners here in San Diego, who I'm sad I didn't get to see again last night, but I had to stay for champagne and cake at work-- probably the best reason to miss.

redheaded&crazy

@cakewinner i guess there are some people who "do things" on the weekend and "have lives."

as for me i'm just sitting here by myself freaking out about the gigantic centipede that came out of nowhere at me and is now hiding under my couch ... or is it ...

EpWs

@redheaded&crazy Psh, girl, don't you know that if you ignore those things they disappear? I have dealt with many a bug this way. (Also my evening is consisting of watching a LOT of Supernatural, and I love it. Hooray Hairpin Weekends!

redheaded&crazy

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher

what i did: killed it with a kleenex box and witnessed a terrifying show of post-mortem leq squiggling

what i should have done: what you said

EpWs

@redheaded&crazy Perhaps the biggest flaw in my relationship is that both of us are terrified of killing bugs. The "ignore it and it will go away" tactic gets used a LOT.

redheaded&crazy

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher in all my relationships (including roommates) I somehow am the one who has to kill bugs.

I can do it. Oh I can do it. But it is accompanied by a lot of screeching and flailing

truelove

@redheaded&crazy oh my gosh i love this conversation so much.

EpWs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Oh god I just realized I forgot to close my parentheses up there and now it's driving me crazy. Here it is, here it is!)

Changeling

Inspired by a post on Eat The Damn Cake, I hung out a bunch with my nine-year-old cousin and had a freaking blast. It was so relaxing to just play board games, draw pictures, and talk to someone who isn't going through the same life things as me. Then we walked down the street in the snow and I taught her how to draw turtles and hammer head sharks with a stick on random lawns and we talked about life. My shoes and pants got soaked and I didn't even care. Le sigh.

fuck fuck fuck

@Changeling awww this is so sweet. i can't wait until my little cousin is old enough for me to take him to do things and for me not to be terrrrrified of accidentally losing him.

spoondisaster

@lighter fluid @Changeling

hanging out with younger cousins is seriously the best. mine are 18, 16, and 14 (two 14 year olds, twins), all boys. I am 23 and sometimes I have more fun with them than people my age because with my cousins we don't talk about problems or whatnot, just have simple fun.

TheDragon

Ok, so I posted this upthread but you guys, they hired me. The campus Ecology Lab hired me. I am literally crying, and I DON'T cry. I don't have to work at PetsMart anymore. No more facing! The next time someone asks me what to feed their dog so that he will STOP pooping, I can tell them to go to hell, instead of frantically coming up with a professional answer! I can examine soil samples, and do field work, and create experiments and write articles! I'm sitting on the floor of my house SOBBING for joy.
My dog is concerned.

EpWs

@The Kendragon YAY YAY YAY. Also, I worked in pet retail for years, so girl, I feel you. Hug your dog!

TheDragon

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Thank you! :) We had a good hug/lick fest :) You really are Everpresent. I am impressed.

PistolPackinMama

@The Kendragon <3 this! And So excited for you. And am delighted you are in tears because it warms my heart.

HeyThatsMyBike

@The Kendragon Congratulationssssss!!!

truelove

@The Kendragon YES! congratulations! i came here to post for joy and am so so heartened by your joy! let us be joyous together, all of us, with dancing of all the limbs woooo!!!

Shayna

I've gotten to Season 3 on Friends. I really should start organizing my delicious bookmarks, but instead I'm watching Ross and Rachel be dramatic. Huzzah for productivity!

EvilAuntiePeril

Extra-special very late comment for those living in the wrong damn time zone who also work insane hours during the week and thus are always late for the party, and therefore lurk. Also for those who are just late for the party, because that is how life is sometimes.

This morning I have spent 2 hours cleaning my flat so it is marginally less revolting, done 3 loads of laundry, and am now rewarding myself with special tea sent from home (ahem, not *that* special), internetting, and a lovely smug glow.

I also have SO MANY THINGS to say about finding dead bodies, but feel that this would be overly creepy as an opener, particularly as I am (mostly) a lurker.

fuck fuck fuck

@EvilAuntiePeril wait but all i want you to do is talk about dead bodies TELL ME PLEEEASE

Megasus

@EvilAuntiePeril Did you see the dead bodies thread? WE ALL WANT TO KNOW.

EvilAuntiePeril

@Megan Patterson@facebook I did, but too late to participate! (I read it this morning). It was amazing! I have put up a comment anyway.

EvilAuntiePeril

@lighter fluid all I want to do right now is talk about dead bodies! But I restrained myself, and put the one story up in the proper thread.

EvilAuntiePeril

PS. Forgot most important part: have extra beets/beetroot lurking. Would be eternally grateful for ideas of what to do with them besides the obvious, all of which I have done to oblivion. (borscht, roasted, pickled, beet salad with feta/horseradish/cream, beetroot-chocolate cake).

(sits back, relaxing to the gentle sounds of tumbleweeds tumbling)

PistolPackinMama

@EvilAuntiePeril Shred them on a cheese grater. Shred some potatoes same way. Find a recipe somewhere for latkes/potato pancakes. Make very pretty-colored Potato-Beet Pancakes. Serve with sour cream and applesauce.

(Idea nicked from the Veganomicon, and that version uses cornstarch to hold them together. I have made them using my mom's recipe for potato pancakes, which has your standard flour/eggs/leavening in it.)

Also, hello there, de-lurking commenter! Nice to meet you!

EvilAuntiePeril

@PistolPackinMama Genius! Thank you!

candybeans

@EvilAuntiePeril also, beet chips! Slice them quite thin (I used a sharp vegetable peeler to make chips of some sweet potatoes), pat them dry, coat in oil and roast at a high temp. But the beet latkes sound quite pretty.

EvilAuntiePeril

@candybeans Beet chips! Of course! Yet more genius! I was hoping to get lucky with just one new idea but with TWO ideas?? I may actually have to go out and buy more beets!

Megasus

Who else is mad that Fringe is going on a month's hiatus after having already been on like, a two month hiatus!
*raises hand

truelove

Posted last week (need to get better at frequenting this wonderful wonderful place and not just lurking, quiet) about some troubles/psychologist dramas with my new man-friend (what do you call each other when you're "dating" but have been friends and clearly just adore each other? boyfriendgirlfriend? hmmm)-- and just want to report that last saturday things got sorted, mostly, and we've been floating along and things are wonderful, so wonderful and i am just so happy to have gotten through this first "fight" or whatever you want to call it and unfolding in this way and excited to see where things go. but i am scared because 'how can this [the happy feeling? any good love feeling?] last?' how does one deal with these thoughts? my only other relationships were serious and strained early on. weighted down from the start. and here, i have this beautiful thing! light and deep and true and aware.
so maybe i am doing two things here-- one just wanting to yell YAAAAAAAYYYYYY it worked out! we are ok now and he is so wonderful yaaay! and two, ask-- how does one proceed with caution but also joyful wild abandon? teach me your wisdoms, sisters/brothers.

EpWs

@truelove Yay hooray! That's great. The walking on air feeling is the best, and while it might fade after a while (let's face it, it's hard to get things like laundry and taxes done when you're euphoric) it does come back now and again, which is great. (Every relationships has ups--and downs--which is totally normal.) The important gauge in my relationship is where our normal cruising altitude is at--as long as that's a steady happy, if not WHEEEEE euphoric, and we spend more time happy than unhappy, I feel great about it. In the mean time, enjoy everything!

PistolPackinMama

@truelove You do it like everything else. One day at a time, without overthinking it.

Also, treat your manfriend as you treated your manfriend when you were friends. But with bonking. It will all work out steady in the end.

I am glad you sorted through it.

truelove

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Thank you so much for your thoughts! you are wonderful. thank you. I am going to enjoy and take it easy and try to remember to do taxes. crap.

truelove

@PistolPackinMama thank you too! friends but with bonking. yes. it is hard not to overthink but it must be possible? i so much appreciate the hairpin wisdom. man. seriously. thank you.

redheaded&crazy

hairpin oscars open thread?!

iiiii have not seen probably any of the movies except like, moneyball, and i don't know what else.

sooo something something fashion? I'm sure there will be a post on it tomorrow morning probably or something.

Megasus

@redheaded&crazy I do not have cable, so I've only seen Brad and Angelina. But it sounds like maybe there were some good/hilarious things (twitter could be lying to me though).

kefuoe

@carolita I'm starting to think I'd like to see a Twitter account: @premenstrual_tears all about what makes us cry.

EpWs

@kefuoe Spoiler alert: EVERYTHING. But especially those damn ASPCA ads with Sarah McLachlan. Damn that woman and those sad, sad puppeh eyes.

josep

it is hard not to overthink but it must be possible? i so much appreciate the hairpin wisdom. man. seriously. nj electrician

josep

I am thinking about spending the weekend people watching and trying to start conversations with strangers and drinking whiskey in hotel bars. I'm not sure if it will help. messages of sympathy for a funeral

linkaccu

I will never stop finding the Cheese or Petrol robot funny. Or thinking that I should show the Homeopathy buy facebook likes

linkaccu

I don't fell mildly guilty about sleeping most of the day. So I've been nowhere, except online. MyProtein Voucher

linkaccu

I burst into tears over broken ear muffs and then started punching my pillow out of rage when my computer lost internet during the elimination segment on last week's Project Runway. e cigaret aalborg

LadyManiaC

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linkaccu

I've spent hours of my life watching clips of him arguing logical points on various BBC panel shows. Time well spent. Click here

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