@redheaded&crazy The lack of shoes in size 10-11 is one of the only things that keep me from becoming a crazy shoe hoarder. That and the guilt I feel whenever I buy luxury items, thanks to my volunteer year.

@redheaded&crazy Co-signed! Why do you want to make me 6'2"? That's hot if you're confident about it, but I am not.

@serenityfound I can wear anything in a 10 to an 11 1/2, regular or wide, and YES! That is precisely why I only own six pairs of shoes.

@redheaded&crazy For seeeeeeerious. If 2" heels were more readily available than 4" leg-breaking, foot-destroying heels, I might actually WEAR heels once in awhile! Your loss in revenue, shoe companies.

@@serenityfound Ooooh it did not help me, thanks to the internet.

@redheaded&crazy It's hard to find shoes with a nice heel (2 inches or so, not blocky, not old-ladyish or super tall) in any size! I work in retail and I just can't run around on 3 or 4 inch heels for 10 hours a day :/

@werewolfbarmitzvah I have the opposite problem: I'm 5 feet tall, size 5 shoes and it takes a considerable amount of shopping around to find reasonable heels over 2". I just wanna feel tall!

@Frisky@twitter Worry not, I bought the shoes for you and I will now be 6'1" on behalf of everyone. WHYYY did I just buy those!? Because my money is burning a whole in my pocket this week...

@redheaded&crazy the only advantageous time for 3" heels on a 5'9 lady: the subway. I CAN SEE OVER ALL OF YOUR HEADS, LITTLE SUBWAY PEOPLE!

@redheaded&crazy although how amazing is the term "kitten heels"? i would buy them even if they were super ugly but they're all just super twee. KITTEN HEELS!

yep i pretty much find a 2" pair of heels and then run them into the ground from overwearing. the pair I'm wearing right now I wear every day at work, as well as any time I go dancing, as well as, basically, any time I want to wear heels. meanwhile my 6-7 pairs of 4" go untouched all season.

my goal is to expand my 2" heel collection, the only problem is that I wear them out so quickly!

@matisse I'm actually only 5'2"! But at peace with my shortness. I like the look of heels in that they make everyone's legs look amazing, but I can't be hobbling around in 4" torture devices and eventually spending my golden years limping around a podiatrist's office. So until that magnificent day when heels quit being so excruciatingly high, it's ballet flats and flat boots forever!

@@serenityfound I fucking love shoes but I wear an 11. Thus, I have few pairs, but they're all from either Nordstrom or Target. The Nordy's sale racks (esp at The Rack) sometimes yield amazing finds. I still regret never buying the two pairs of Manolos I've found for under $300 each at the Rack. They fit so terribly well and are so cute.

@Frisky@twitter Lady, you need to rock it! I am 6' and wear 4" heels on the regular. Towering over people is great, especially if you can perfect your disdainful sneer! Which I haven't because I'm usually having too much fun being super tall.

@werewolfbarmitzvah ha I assumed everyone was worried about being too tall. I feel your pain (sorry for the awful pun) over sky high heels, but I just feel so damn short without them. I can't do stilettos because I would probably break my neck, but I do love me some tall, chunky heels.

@@serenityfound What drives me crazy is, I'm a 10.5 and yet this is a size that most companies apparently can't be bothered to make. "6-10,11" my ass.

I wear an 11 and stand 6 foot barefoot, and my heels are all 3+ inches. I owned no heels until about 2 years ago, but then I realized being taller than everyone was basically my superhero power and now I enjoy it mercilessly. The male attorneys at my office come up and whine when I wear my heels, but then I find out from their secretaries that they all admit to being intimidated by me. Plus, just knowing I can walk in them without looking like the Muppets when they all stack on top of each other and put on a suit and pretend to be a person is a major ego boost.

@missvancity I'm 5'10" and I love wearing 3" heels! Also, I wear a 12/12.5, so this talk of 10s and 11s being nonexistent is making me laugh/cry. I used to avoid heels because I thought I'd be too tall/uncomfortable, which limited my options even further. Now I upset my mother and frighten passers-by!

Also, for people with larger feet or wanting shorter heels, I've had good luck with DSW this year--plenty of lower heels in lots of sizes. Clarks also makes some cute (if not trendy) shoes with lower heels. And both have lots of sales/discounts online!

@Faintly Macabre My mum is only 5'4" so I tower over her no matter what, and it's SO fun.

Also, my feet are freakishly small for being as tall as I am. I'm usually a 9, occasionally a 10 depending on the shoe.

@missvancity Ughh I am so jealous! I know a lot of girls about my height through my sport, and most of them wear around a 10. And my feet + unflattering athletic shoes = not pretty. I always mentally shake my fist at the heavens when I look at their cute shoes/non-ridiculous feet.

@Faintly Macabre Well I'm sure you have other things that I don't have. Like, maybe you aren't 30 and still dealing with huge pimples! Or maybe your boobs look great all the time! Or maybe your feet are actually very pretty, when they aren't in shoes! Sometime when I'm feeling down about something not so attractive about myself I make a list of all the very attractive things about me.

@Faintly Macabre You gotta get yourself to a Nordstrom Rack, lady.

@missvancity Aww, thanks, that's sweet of you. I've actually mostly gotten over it, except the occasional bouts of self-consciousness and that I still don't like asking for my size in stores. I used to avoid telling people my size or even mentioning my feet, but I eventually decided that as it's not something I can control or change and my feet are (mostly) functional, it made no sense to worry about them anymore. (It helps that way more brands make 12s now than even a few years ago--I am now an online shoe-shopping maven!)

@itmakesmewonder Haha, a few years ago I ordered five pairs of sale 12/13 shoes from Nordstrom and not a single pair fit right. I've gotten other shoes from them, though! They do have a big selection and awesome return policy.

@redheaded&crazy Oh hey, you just described the two pairs of heels that live under my desk! But I will never ever part with the 2-inch heels I got from Schuh when I lived in Oxford because they waited 2 years for me and we are meant to be no matter how worn down they get.

@Faintly Macabre Hurrah! One of my coworkers has 12s, but most of the companies that do shoes that size don't ship to Canada, which is very sad for her.

@Faintly Macabre Shucks. I never buy shoes sight unseen so that's why the Rack is so great. I will try on a thousand pairs, including, like, amazing/absurd glittery pointy shit I'd never really wear. It's a holidayesque luxury to get to put on a bunch of pairs of shoes that are at least CLOSE to right, you know? Of course you know.

@itmakesmewonder Oh yes, I know. Whenever DSW or TJ Maxx has shoes in my size, I am compelled to try them on, even if they are ridiculous stilettos that I could never walk in. ...Which is how I ended up with a pair of gold stilettos that I have difficulty walking in. (I did wear them to a fancy thing, though!)

The other hazard I've faced in shoe stores was going up to the DSW Bigsizes rack and finding two tall cross-dressers/transgender women hogging the rack.

I haven't read all the comments here, but as a Frye owner, I can attest to the fact that even with big ol' heels, Fryes are the shit. Like, super the shit. They're super comfortable and awesome. So, if you can get your hooves in some, dooooo it.

@redheaded&crazy Dude. On Zappos you can view shoes by heel height! It is awesome/dangerous.

@okaycrochet You are my hero!

@werewolfbarmitzvah I have a theory that may or may not apply to you! Small feet = higher angle for the 4" heels. Which is why I (not quite five feet, size 5 shoes) can't wear the superhigh heels that would make me average height.

@The Lady of Shalott But stretchy bracelets, they pull on my armhairs and are so uncomfortable! Or am I alone in this?

@The Lady of Shalott I got a pair of Frye boots that were exactly what I was looking for, for $30 at a consignment store.

Best thrift score EVER! Too bad I wore them to hell and they're now cracking. Damn my obscenely wide feet...

@NeverOddOrEven But that's what's so great about leather shoes! Just get some saddle soap and leather conditioning oil and bring those puppies back to life.

This is how I justify being vegetarian but buying a obscene number of pairs of leather shoes/boots. They can be resurrected and last forever!

@@serenityfound No, they do it to me too! My mom bought me some pretty ones but I never ever wear them because they totally pinch and pull!

@mustelid I finally got some mink oil (which I feel terrible about using. Poor minks...) but it's too late. I'm still rocking them and will til they fall apart, but right over my pinkie toe joint (like where the toes bend?) each boot is cracked through. I can see my socks.

@NeverOddOrEven You can spare a mink next time with Obenauf's leather preservative. It works wonders on dried out leather (saved a pair of old Red Wing boots I got on eBay) and the only animal product in it is beeswax. Usually they have it at boot stores.

@akapocalypse Goddamn it! I googled like hell to find a vegan(ish) version.

@NeverOddOrEven Oh yeah that sound like it's not really salvageable. I am sorry for your boots (and you!)

@akapocalypse If you were the one who mentioned Obenauf's the last time Frye boots came up, I took your advice, and I am glad I did.

@The Lady of Shalott I desperately want a pair of Fryes, but alas, I have Calves of Doom that almost ever fit into boots. First pair of boots I owned I had to buy the "Super Shaft" size.

@mustelid Oh yeah that was me. I have to spread the word!

@Xanthophyllippa I have calves of doom as well, and finally got my Fryes this year through a two-step process, those two steps consisting of buying a pair of the wide-calf (ha) Janes off of the interwebs, then taking them to a shoe repair place to have them further stretched. Turns out they do, in fact, stretch really, really nicely, to the point that I can even wear them with jeans tucked in.

@Xanthophyllippa
Grinning madly at "super shaft" OF COURSE.

@Inkcrafter I should hope so! If you're not snickering off and on for a few hours afterward, I'll be disappointed.

@Xanthophyllippa You are not alone. I once tried on one of those stretchy bracelets at the store, and it RIPPED MY ARMHAIRS OUT in front of the sales lady and made me bleed. Never again.

@LoopisLoo I think that was for serenityfound. :) I still have all my arm hair intact.

@LornaLoo And then for accessories, everyone should go to Embellish in Lincoln Square/Northcenter. I don't work there, I swear, but it is absolutely beautiful, affordable jewelry (bags, hats, scarves) by independent designers with the best staff ever.

@NeverOddOrEven It is maybe the cutest thing ever. And you can get a matching oval dish to go with it!

@NeverOddOrEven Also, that website is dangerous. I don't know what olive oil bowls are but I would totally use these, right? (The wee artichoke!)

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher The artichoke is definitely the best.
I think they must be for bread dipping?

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher they'd be perfect for small jewellery or ponytail holders! A Clean Person would approve.

@Gertrude @NeverOddOrEven So I put all three of them in my cart and then looked at the price of shipping. And put everything back. :(

However, I actually bought a small flat dish thing when I was on vacation a few years back just because I liked it (it has a fish!) and it's the most useful thing ever. Lives next to my bed and keeps earrings and such from escaping my bedside table.

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Aw, boo on shipping! My favorite sushi place in my hometown has little soy sauce dishes that have pretty artsy eggplants painted at the bottom and I want to be like my favorite sushi place. :(

@figwiggin I am normally okay with shipping, but when the shipping costs almost twice as much as what I'm buying, I just can't do it. Sad times!

@figwiggin Is there a Chinatown near you? Some Chinese grocery/miscellania stores have a million kinds of tiny dishes for $1-2. (Though more often with chintzy gold paint or engraved deranged cats than pretty eggplants...)

@Faintly Macabre @figwiggin YES! This with the Chinese grocery. I have a whole bunch of neat little dishes I got that way (and broke one not long after, boo hiss). If you don't have one nearby, let me know and I'll scout prices for you.

@Faintly Macabre @Xanthophyllippa Oh, good idea! There's not one in my town, but it's been hella days since I went to Chinatown in the city. Field trip!

@figwiggin Take me too! Oh, wait...

@Moxie The red chiffon-y one? Mine hasn't arrived yet and I'm basically the saddest panda. I will be spending much of the day re-writing the lyrics to "Please Mister Postman" to express my feelings about this.

@chartreusan Yes, the red one with the black patent belt. WORTH. THE. WAIT. I am only a wee 5'6" so I did have to get it altered to bring up the hemline. But it is really beautiful.

@iceberg "TA-DAH!

@iceberg It is at times like these that I feel my flyover state country bumpkiness deeply. Because I think "those are outfits you wear with a great big cosmic YES, I AM WEARING THESE PANTS AND I AM BEING DARING AHHHHH HHAHHHHH AHHHHHHH SOMEONE GIVE ME A PAIR OF CORK WEDGES AND TICKETS TO A ROBYN SHOW!"

And those ladies are all just being "here I am, wearing the latest trend la la la la I am checking my text messages dum de dum," as if walking around in blinding patterned baggy crop trousers is just no biggie.

I'd type more but I gotta go help Paw check out the cows afore I weed the turnip patch and sort the hayseed.

They don't even look good on those ladies though!

@Jane Marie No. Those still look completely absurd.

@Tragically Ludicrous
Every dreary spring, I manage to peek into "the latest trend", wrinkle my face up into my nasal cavity, and keep wearing that same short skirt/thigh highs combo forever.
Never ever stop.

@Jane Marie: Now they look like 80s pants.

@PistolPackinMama: You said all that around a mouth full of chaw, of course.

@iceberg But the deal with things coming into style is that once you see them around for a few months your sense of 'what looks good' will change, and you'll be all, hm, I'd like to accentuate my upper body by wearing slouchy pants like all those other ladies are doing. Also, I totally recognize that this is the fashion industrial complex messing with my head, but I still went for the pants. Because, what can I say, shifting trends are fun for me, and $14 seems like a pretty painless chance to take. I'll let you know how it goes when they arrive :-)

@smartastic No. Those still look completely absurd, like rompers. And those have been around for at least a year, sadly.

@Tragically Ludicrous I kinda like them. But let's just agree to agree that this indeed does look completely absurd: http://www.refinery29.com/melon-cat-hair-trends

@Xanthophyllippa When I was little, my grandma made me and all my cousins happy pants. They looked very much like the second on the right in that photo. Then I grew out of them, gave them to the op shop, someone else bought them and wore them to school, and I died of secondary embarrassment. It is the only time in primary school I remember something embarrassing happening, and it wasn't me who was the one being embarrassing.

I won't be wearing print pants. But I like style trend stuff things because it is not necessarily about 'there are two acceptable ways to look, one is to be slim but with an hourglass figure and big boobs, the other is to be slim with no curves at all except where maybe your hip bones jut out'. Not that there's anything wrong with those bodies, but not that many people have them. So I enjoy trends where the emphasis is not on making yourself look thinner or more hourglassy, even though my style is basically all about emphasising my hour glass.

@tortietabbie It's back!

@tortietabbie It looks like two New York States to me. With horns. And minus Long Island. Whatevs; Upstate's where it's at.

This post is FEETIST and OTHERING. Some of us don't have feet, because we turn into an amorphous mass of cosmic jelly beyond the knee. Did you ever think of us, Jane? Did you ever think of the jelly-footed girls who read this column? WHERE'S OUR PARADE

Also we cannot HAVE a parade as it is impossible for us to WALK more than a block without feet, so thanks for that reminder.

This post is also not inclusive of mer-people and all of our befinned allies.

@melis Let's have a crawl-a-thon to raise money and awareness for the cause.

Don't you dare pity me and my jelly feet.

@melis Every time Jane posts beautiful shoes that only go up to a 10, I feel unfeminized, like a sasquatch. It makes me want to stay inside with paper bags over my feet--grocery bags, because lunch bags are too small.

@Faintly Macabre I am shaped like an L, but at least I never blow over in a strong wind.

The star of our parade is Alex Mack.