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Friday, February 17, 2012

117

February 13 - 17

- It was Valentine's Day this week!

- A Dude got your love note, A Queer Chick rules the SLC, and A Clean Person visited a store.

- "hahaha you remembered"

- ... and, elsewhere in ghost-phone news (!?).

- Have you played the Mass Effect 3 demo yet, or fashioned a belt into a collar that is also a bra as well as a shirt?

- On raising daughters, and school spirit.

- The Dragon, Captain Clunkhead, and other nicknames.

- "Okay!"

- And: thank you for all the excellent feedback on Monday! If all has gone according to plan, I'm currently on an airplane to Los Angeles to visit Jane and figure this all out. Also to sit around and play with eyebrow pencil.

- Oh, and don't forget to keep an anonymous sex diary if you want to! We'll see you back here on Tuesday!

Image by Antonio Abrignani, via Shutterstock



117 Comments / Post A Comment

lovelettersinhell

So, anyone else doing the sex diaries feeling a compulsion to have more sex than normal so your anonymous diary isn't too pathetic to reflect on?

feartie

@lovelettersinhell No one is answering, cos they're all too busy doin' it.

redheaded&crazy

@feartie yeeeeeeeeees that's the reason!

wharrgarbl

@redheaded&crazy I'm looking forward to the number of diaries that are 7 days of "Smashed everything in the apartment with a hammer out of frustration! Again! This counts, right?!"

tortietabbie

@lovelettersinhell Ha, yes. My diary is full of, "was going to have sex but decided to read instead."

Megasus

@tortietabbie I am not writing one, but mine would be like, "Was going to have sex but decided to marathon Game of Thrones instead. No regrets!"

Ophelia

@Megan Patterson@facebook That sentence right there is why I'm not writing one.

stavros

awesome group.@m

Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy)

The Dragon link does not go to Captain Clunkhead, if you know what I mean. (Goes to Joyful Noises instead.)

iceberg

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) I just love that you said "if you know what I mean".

Also, EDITH, can you get a redirect link from thehiarpin.com? My tired brain will thank you.

iceberg

@iceberg Also i just noticed no Hairpin today??? Boooooooo.

samafaye

@iceberg ugh i know, as if today wasn't going to be long enough already :(

EpWs

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) I knowwww, I'm dying over here.

Edith Zimmerman

@Fig. 1 (formerly myfanwy) GAH thank you, and so ashamed only just now fixing.

OhShesArtsy

I hate three day weekends.

Mostly because I never get them.

EpWs

@OhShesArtsy I'm here at work and missing my Hairpin. Everybody else who has to work today, report in! (Monday Open Thread?)

OhShesArtsy

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher

Unauthorized Monday Open Thread. No Hairpin today? We will MAKE a Hairpin today.

wallsdonotfall

@OhShesArtsy YES UGH. I mentioned this to my father on the phone the other day and he asked, "But you get time and a half, right?" Hahahaha, no.

EpWs

@wallsdonotfall I work for the government and our department is open today. If Presidents Day doesn't get me a day off, then why in the hell is everyone else off work guhhhh. (I feel you, basically.) Also, does anyone know if there's mail service today? I want to mail out my Pin Pal letter!

wharrgarbl

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher We're open too, though I'm not sure why--everyone else in the county is closed, so it's just assumed we're closed, too. This place is like a morgue. Pretty sure there's no mail. The only thing I got today was interdepartmental.

iceberg

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Present!

ETA: Yay Monday Open Thread!

samafaye

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher @The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I am at work today and it is TERRIBLE. Also, I don't think there is mail today because no one has come to pick up our mail OR my Warby Parker home try on that I need to send back. EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE.

OhShesArtsy

@everyone All my friends keep texting me to go out for lunch/coffee/basically full hang out day. I keep texting back "I'm working". They're all like "Ummm, what? LOL! Why?"

My friends may be jerks.

tortietabbie

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I'm at work today. :( It suuuuucks. Apparently they USED to give employees Presidents Day off, but then they decided to give us MLK instead. What? I can't have BOTH???

EpWs

@OhShesArtsy Insult to injury: It is PRETTY here today. The sun is shining, it's a lovely (if somewhat chilly) day, and where am I? Indoors. Booooooo.

Also, this thing is getting transported through my town today down a portion of my route home, and knowing my luck, I'm gonna get stuck behind it. 5-10 mph is a good speed, right?

wharrgarbl

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Yikes. GoogleMaps up an alternate route home and call it an adventure?

samafaye

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher that is one heck of a large vessel! look how large that shit is!

EpWs

@wharrgarbl Ayep. I don't care how good a driver they are, there's no way they're getting down Old Frankfort Pike

wharrgarbl

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Niiiice. I personally become very fond of backroads with lots of speedtables during local weekend-long boat shows.

bangs
bangs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I'm working, but thinking of taking the afternoon off to go to Ikea (I built up an extra day last Sunday). Cheap meatballs!

area@twitter

@OhShesArtsy Working on President's Day, reporting in! Plus I might have to work on Saturday as well. :(
(On the plus side, if we do have to come in Saturday, I can probably convince my boss to bring in beer for the office.)

EpWs

@Xaxa Dooooo it. The nearest Ikea to me is nearly two hours away, so Ikea trips become full day events. I am jealous of your ability to just have an afternoon trip for cheap meatballs and Swedish housewares.
@area@twitter Oh dear. Boooooo working on Saturday, but yay possible beer!(?)

snuffleupagus

@OhShesArtsy I'm working too :( Most of our staff took the day off and my husband has off, so there's only one of the five bosses here. But I don't feel confident enough to just be like, whatever, I did my work, later suckas!

bangs
bangs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I'm 45 min - 1hr away on public transportation, which isn't so bad. I'm thinking of completely renovation my home office (which is just a desk in my living room).

EpWs

@Xaxa Do it! That sounds fantastic. I'm really wishing I wasn't moving to an unknown situation (sublet? parents' house? my own for reals place? all depends on getting a job!) in a few months, I'm really craving a renovation.

bangs
bangs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I've been putting off renos because I've been thinking of buying a place, but have been waiting for some job stability. Screw it. No more waiting. New desk! Maybe.

purefog

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher: My guess is that there IS mail today, only because I sent in a Netflix movie in the Saturday mail, and received an email today that they had gotten it, which they would not have without Monday mail delivery.

EpWs

@everyone GUYS, I found a kind of fantastic video about ponies in Iceland. I can't really put my finger on why, but it's charming.

area@twitter

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher The upside is that we should be able to take comp time for it, but with the way things have been around here we'll probably end up coming in on those comp time days too. >:( No me gusta.

smidge

@OhShesArtsy Late to the party, but hi everyone I have to work today too. Ugh.

Better to Eat You With

@OhShesArtsy I always work from home on Mondays, so here I was all day grading papers while there was a bomb scare on the campus where I teach. Rumor has it it was written in lipstick on a bathroom mirror.

Prostitute Robot From The Future

I hate how the internet always closes for the weekend. Also, my case of the mondays has turned into a case of the Tuesdays. Hope you enjoyed your three-day-weekend, if you had one.

EternalFootwoman

@OhShesArtsy Right? I work in healthcare; holidays are completely subjective.

Megasus

I don't have school today but I DO have a lot of homework to do.

iceberg

Just met new lady at work today, as soon as I mentioned I had triplets she straight-up asked if we used fertility treatments.

Am v proud of self for pausing, wide-eyed, and saying "Oh! That's a very personal question!" and then kind of changing the subject.

EpWs

@iceberg Very proud of you for saying that instead of just avoiding it. People need to learn that these are NOT OKAY THINGS TO ASK. High five! (And then three more high fives for handling triplets, you go girl.)

iceberg

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher thank you!

area@twitter

@iceberg Nicely done. /salute

The Lady of Shalott

@iceberg Well done! I am VERY impressed at your level of self-control!

EpWs

@iceberg Can't believe I forgot to ask this before--what was her reaction?? (If it wasn't IMMEDIATE shame and apology, she just...loses.)

raised amongst catalogs

@iceberg You're my hero!

iceberg

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Surprisingly not! She goes "Oh. I just always wonder..." and akso asked if multiples run in our families! So I just kept talking about other things... we do have to work together, so.

EpWs

@iceberg Guh. People. I have to believe that someday people will no longer find other ladies' gynecological concerns appropriate things to legislate or butt into. Please, please please...

OhShesArtsy

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Oh, god, if only! I am shocked that other ladies do this! I have a friend who thinks nothing of asking deeply intrusive baby making/birthing/nursing questions of new mothers*. It is HORRIFYING. Then she gets all weird and preachy about how "there's nothing to be ashamed of, there's nothing more natural than childbirth!" whenever someone dares to be offended. Yes, vaginas and (most) everything having do do with them are natural. They are also PRIVATE.

EpWs

@OhShesArtsy Yes yes, all of this. I'm the kind of person who won't ask a stranger if she's pregnant even if she's popping out the baby in front of me, so the thought of asking all those types of questions makes me deeply uncomfortable. (This may have to do with my complete lack of maternal instinct, I don't know? And also my alarming inability to tell baby gender once they're born unless they're decked out in highly gendered clothing. I feel like guessing wrong is offensive, asking is offensive...basically my odds are not good whatever I say. So there's that too.)

P.S. Please don't hate me

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
I spend a lot of time mentally restructuring my sentences about babies to avoid the use of gendered pronouns! Another tool that sometimes works: "what is your baby's name?" But then, of course, the baby is named Jamie.

EpWs

@P.S. Please don't hate me Of course it is. Or, you know, Daytona or something. (Were you around for that thread?)

OhShesArtsy

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Babies don't have any secondary gender characteristics so don't feel bad for not being able to tell. When people get huffy about their baby's gender, I always assume they have some deep-seated discomfort about their own (kidding! Mostly...)

Speaking of names: I deal with the most ridiculous names all day long. It has reached a point where I ask people to spell the most basic names because they are inevitably spelled wierd and the person never thinks to mention that. Seriously, if your name is Jane but spelled Jay'ne, let people know! I don't really care what your name is, just accept if it looks like a typo then you will have to spell it out your whole life!

atipofthehat

@iceberg

I usually answer:

"It was a natural conception, and I went in doggy-style for depth, but then we switched over to spoons because it's more comfortable. It took about 20-25 minutes, with a lot of rapid pullback on the hips at the finish and long, drawn-out, hyperextensive thrusts at ejaculation. Thanks for asking! And how were your children conceived?"

EpWs

@atipofthehat Perfect. Perfect perfect perfect.

Megasus

@atipofthehat Also you should be at the end, "Want to see the video?"

dabbyfanny

Well, I spent my President's Day very productively by taking half the morning tracking this baby down to the Anthro in Highland Park, Dallas, TX. And then I celebrated by ordering a bunch of other stuff off the website. PD is bad for my credit card!

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=23939366&catId=CLOTHES-KNITSTEES&pushId=CLOTHES-KNITSTEES&popId=CLOTHES&navCount=196&color=004&isProduct=true&fromCategoryPage=true&isSubcategory=true&subCategoryId=CLOTHES-KNITSTEES&templateType=subCategory

EpWs

@dabbyfanny Well that looks insanely comfy. What color?

dabbyfanny

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Navy! I tried it on at my local Anthro and it was damn cute, but they didn't have my size / color. Hence the hunt.

raised amongst catalogs

So my boss has us working all day today while he 1) took the morning off for personal time and then 2) left after pulling a whopping three-hour workday. Then when I leave here, I have to go get my teeth cleaned.

Megasus

@vanillawaif MUTINY!

raised amongst catalogs

@Megan Patterson@facebook I'm going for mini-mutiny, which involves the consumption of many pieces of chocolate and the doing of very little real work.

iceberg

@vanillawaif MURDER

; )

raised amongst catalogs

Also, anyone reading this who has any experience with kidney donation? My boyfriend is donating one in a week and a half and his anxiety makes him NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
My dear friend knows someone who donated a kidney and she has given me some helpful advice, but anyone who wants to chime in can save me from falling into a Google-hole that will probably just scare me.

EpWs

@vanillawaif I have no direct experience with this, but good on your boyfriend for donating! I would always avoid Google, that place is scary. Stay here.

P.S. Please don't hate me

@vanillawaif
My friend was a match for a clerk he knew from his regular grocery store, so he gave her a kidney! He's fine now (aside from being in the newspaper). With laparoscopy, it's a fairly minor surgery and the other kidney gets bigger and stronger to make up the difference. There's no long-term effect for the donor. Don't worry!

raised amongst catalogs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I know you're right; any time I've been tempted to Google I just go online shopping instead. Everyone wins! Here's the worst thing I've heard about the surgery/recovery so far: they pump air into the abdomen and the donor has all kinds of gas.

raised amongst catalogs

@P.S. Please don't hate me Thank you! I hate the thought of him being in pain but I know that it's for a really good cause, and he'll have Vicodin or whatever to help with that. Your friend sounds so kind!

EpWs

@vanillawaif Well that could be much worse. At least this particular side effect is humorous! I am sure he will enjoy the Vicodin and being waited on hand and foot, everyone will get through it just fine.
@P.S. Please don't hate me That is a pretty awesome story, for real.

wharrgarbl

@vanillawaif Good for your boyfriend! It's a lot safer for the donor than the recipient. I knew somebody for whom it didn't really work out that great, but they basically went nuts with everything the doctors said "You know you can't do this with one kidney, right?", and it still wasn't super-bad. So it seems pretty safe.

I guess one thing that tends to get missed in diet-mods for people who are down a kidney is strictly limiting your sodium intake on top of the no-brainers like alcohol and caffeine. So if you'll be doing a lot of his caretaking while he recovers, you might want to check that out. A relative of mine lost a kidney (traumatic accident rather than donation); recuperation was way unfun, but it went quicker than you'd think. He's been completely fine for a while now in spite of mildly-but-persistently cheating on his diet.

raised amongst catalogs

@wharrgarbl Man oh man, do I love you people.

Ophelia

@vanillawaif A friend of mine donated to her dad - if you want, I can put you in touch with each other? She's careful about her health/diet, but hasn't suffered any ill effects, and her recovery was pretty quick/uneventful.

Also, have you guys read the NY Times article about the kidney-donation chain?

Edited to add - and here's the link to that article: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/health/lives-forever-linked-through-kidney-transplant-chain-124.html?ref=global-home

area@twitter

@vanillawaif hey hey heyyyyyyyyy! I was on the other end of the donor process- got a kidney from my mom. So unfortunately I can't speak to the donor's part of the process. I will say that my mom is in her late 60s now- donated to me in her mid-50s- and she has no health issues whatsoever related to having one kidney (and is generally in incredible shape). Be sure he listens to his doctors and asks TONS of questions if he wants to. And it's OK to be nervous! Surgery and recovery is a big scary thing. My mom and I had fun figuring out what incredibly trashy movies we were going to watch while we were recuperating, maybe he can do something similar. (Die Hard marathon?)

I will say that as a recipient, getting an organ is a gift so large it dwarfs any sense of normal procedure you have. I could say thank you for this forever, every minute of every day for the rest of my life, and it still wouldn't communicate how much it means to me. Getting a kidney is the difference between a life tied to a dialysis machine- very little traveling, constant medication switches, nausea, fatigue, on and on- and a life where I can work 40(plus) hours a week and take last-minute flights to see family and sleep without being hooked up to a machine. Getting another organ can be absolutely lifesaving. So please tell your boyfriend thank you for me, and that I'll be thinking of him. And to everyone who's checked that donor box on their driver's license- thank you.

Maria

@vanillawaif Also, this is a really great resource: http://www.kidney.org/transplantation/livingDonors/infoQA.cfm

atipofthehat

@vanillawaif

Your boyfriend sounds like a real mensch. Congratulations!

The doctors who do this know what they're doing, and they are VERY careful with donors.

kiamaria

area@twitter That is so awesome to hear! My job is somewhat related to organ transplantation, and every time I hear a story with a 'happy ending' I get a little bit emotional (so, as you may guess, I'm often a little bit emotional!)
@vanillawaif Yay (and good luck) to your boyfriend!

raised amongst catalogs

@atipofthehat @everybody Seriously, thank you all so much. You know how worries seems so much bigger when you keep them to yourself? You all shrunk my worries!

raised amongst catalogs

@area@twitter Wow, how amazing that your mom was able to give you the gift of life TWICE! (That is possibly the cheesiest thing I've ever said but it's true!)

raised amongst catalogs

@Ophelia You're so kind! My email address has my actual full name in it, so I won't post it here but I can very quickly set up a Hairpin-only account. Also, I did find out that my best friend knows someone who works for the Nat'l Kidney Registry AND who donated one of hers so I can always rely on her for info, too. I love people sometimes!

teaandcakeordeath

@vanillawaif
This is really late and doesnt have any information on the health implications of transplants but I thought you'd appreciate it anyway.
There's an elderly couple who work in my neighbourhood pharmacy. The husband got horrendously ill and had to spend a year on dialysis until they realized that his wife was a match. She donated a kidney and now they are both up and about working side by side. The husband is squeefully happy and tells everyone who comes in about how great he's feeling, how he wants to walk up Everest, how much he loves his wife and that he is taking her to Hawaii as a thank you. The wife just rolls her eyes and fills persciptions.
They're one of my favourite couples.

raised amongst catalogs

@teaandcakeordeath It's never too late for such a great story! Thanks for sharing it.

raised amongst catalogs

@atipofthehat @everyone else You guys! He had the surgery on Friday and was able to come home yesterday in the early afternoon. It was a little rough (he did not wake up from the anesthesia because they gave him so much, and then they had to reverse the anesthesia so he had this thrilling combo of not breathing and also being in pain) but he was resting comfortably (<3 you, morphine!) through the night. Every day has gotten slowly but steadily better and I'm so glad that part is over. Thanks to all of you for your kindness and overall awesomeness.

EpWs

@vanillawaif That is fantastic! Good on your boyfriend and on you as well. Very glad he's home and comfortable, I'm sure he'll be back to normal in no time. (And I am sure that the person who got his kidney will be feeling 100% better FOREVER because of it.)

ArgosMama

I was at work wishing for the Hairpin and then pinners came to my rescue with a small but entertaining thread. Way to go everyone, teamwork!

smidge

Sooo, what did you all do this weekend? I went to a wine tasting, it was lovely.

EpWs

@smidge I bought a suit and new pumps! I also baked my first layer cake and a dozen carrot cake cupcakes AND my kitchen is somehow still standing and not filled with dirty dishes. Success all around.

dabbyfanny

@smidge i made a sculpture, baked a quiche, shopped, read a book by Nathan Englander and got taken out for late valentine's dinner by my BF (this all makes me sound quite energetic, I am not) But mainly I got on here so I could relay the conversation at VD dinner.
BF: When I die* and you bring your new boyfriend here, just promise me you'll talk about me.
Me: I don't see that happening. i believe you have ruined me for other men.
BF: that's such a nice thing to say!
Me: Oh wait, you took that as a COMPLIMENT? Bwah hah hah!

*The BF is a lot older, and sometimes thinks morbidly.

ArgosMama

@smidge, I went to a huge wedding show. It was super over whelming and I now know what I don't want, so maybe not a total waste of time?

EpWs

@ArgosMama As more and more of my friends/female family members get engaged and brave bridal shows, I'm learning that the only way to handle them is with a flask and a wedding show drinking game.

bangs
bangs

@smidge Went to a presentation of the camera of my dreaaaams. It comes out in April and I am trying not to give in and buy it, but it's exactly what I want...

EpWs

@Xaxa Is that a tax return I hear?

bangs
bangs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher That is EXACTLY what I was thinking. But it's still $1000 body only. But it's splash proof and has a tilting screen and is tiny... This one.

EpWs

@Xaxa I know nothing about cameras but that is PRETTY.

tortietabbie

@smidge I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned, which sucked, BUT...now my apartment is SO CLEAN! I feel like it's inhabited by human people instead of by garbage monsters.

@dabbyfanny Oooooh...which Englander book??

dabbyfanny

@tortietabbie "For The Relief of Unbearable Urges". I enjoyed it, but I probably shouldn't have read all those short stories at once (I always feel like I ate six Cadbury's creme Eggs when I do that). Definitely going to get the "...When we talk About Anne Frank" one, have you read it?

tortietabbie

@dabbyfanny I haven't read the Anne Frank one...although this is the second time this morning someone has mentioned it, so I feel like the universe is telling me to hurry up and get a copy!

Olivia2.0

PINNERS - I bought these shoes this weekend as my wedding shoes....http://www.bhldn.com/shop_shoes-accessories_shoes/gibson-girl-heels

are they terrible? I am having second thoughts! they are leather, are white shoes with a white dress...weird? thoughts! please!

ArgosMama

@Olivia2.0 , Those are lovely! I'm not a high heel person, but I can appreciate a good shoe. That is a good shoe.

OhShesArtsy

@Olivia2.0 They are lovely!

The trick is, now that you have the shoes, STOP LOOKING. Seriously, do not look at any other options. All that does is open up space for doubt. This goes for every peice of your wedding. I'M SUPER SERIOUS.

EpWs

@Olivia2.0 They are fantastic! And if you can't wear a white shoes with a white dress, when in the hell can you? Rock it. And seconding the STOP LOOKING RIGHT NOW advice. Move on to the next thing on the list!

EpWs

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher "And if you can't wear white shoes with a white dress AT YOUR WEDDING, when in the hell can you." My brain is not working, but that comment should make more sense now.

PistolPackinMama

@Olivia2.0 Those are just about the best shoes I have seen lately. And I own 75+ pairs of shoes, some of which are very pretty indeed. Keep them. Wear them. Do not look for more shoes.

Then either stll wear them post-wedding. Or, have them dyed robin's egg blue and still wear them. Because DAMN those are pretty shoes.

EpWs

@PistolPackinMama Can you dye leather shoes? (I mean, I know leather is dye-able, but is it dye-able once it's in shoe form?)

iceberg

@Olivia2.0 Forgot to say, those shoes are fucking perfect. Very sexy and sweet.

Megasus

@Olivia2.0 Those are amazing!! So amazing I am shoe sad again, but that is not your fault! Also I totally used to wear white shoes all the time in the summer.

Porn Peddler

@Olivia2.0 oh god why are those leather, so perfect. how dare you question those adorable shoes.

dtowngirl

Ugh. I work at a law firm (I'm not a lawyer), and I have to say that attorneys are officially The Worst Ever. Like, 90% of the attorneys here are seriously horrible human beings. I'm having a very bad Monday at work.

atipofthehat

@dtowngirl

Well, at least they aren't well paid or anything.

LadyManiaC

very very nice bog. i like Elektronik Sigara and blog. thanks for sharing..

Zeki Yol@facebook

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Zeki Yol@facebook

great work, thank you. i always follow web sites. thanks for sharing. Karot .

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