Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Beauty Q&A: Grays, OTKs, and Sleeping in Rollers

Mom? MOM!Am I the only 30-year-old to have gray hair, or do pretty much all women dye their hair? I tried boxed dyes and they made my hair stiff and crunchy, and made my pillows smell for a week, not to mention the mess that it made in my bathroom. So I got my first salon dye job six weeks ago. Within four weeks it was washed out, faded all to heck, and looked bad. So I go back and drop more money and invest (because it is an investment! this stuff is expensive!) in some salon shampoo and conditioner for fine, thin, and colored hair. I'm using this stuff every other day, and it makes my hair a little dry, but on day two I'm still fairly oily. I'm using dry shampoo on day two, and it's so weird. On day three I'm tempted to go without washing, but I'm not 100% sure about this dry shampoo stuff.

So another question: is dry shampoo something everyone uses and just doesn't talk about? Should I be washing my hair less than every other day? How long is a dye job supposed to last? Am I the only 30(cough)-year-old with gray hair?

I'm not even going to begin to guess what went wrong with your boxed dye. Maybe get your most OCD — or, conversely, your most cool, calm, and collected — friend to help you next time? Be sure to rinse thoroughly and shampoo, and avoid the conditioner that comes with the dye if you don't like the smell.

The truth about gray hair: it's a pain to cover up, it only multiplies, and it simply doesn't behave like naturally colored hair. You have a few different questions here, but basically what you're asking is "Am I normal?" The answer is yes, so normal it's boring. No, not everyone has gray hair at 30, but those who do are more likely to dye it than, say, someone who's 75 and can't be bothered because she finally has her priorities straight, thankyouverymuch. (Excluding my Grandma Carol who has never had to dye her long, perfect, chocolate brown locks. No blood relation. *shakes fist at the sky*) Before dispensing any actual tips, allow me to give you a pep talk: your hair NEVER looks as bad to anyone else as it does to you. Maybe you have hair dysmorphia disorder (HDD = not a thing), but other people don't have the time or inclination to make as many negative assessments about your hair as you just did. Keep that in mind. We all have bad hair days, and those are the days we put it in a bun AND wear a headband. Or a hat. Anyway, before you spend any more money, try cutting yourself some slack. Or try growing it out entirely? I happen to think "premature" gray can look pretty hot on some people, but you have to grow it all in to find out if you're one of them. Who knows, you might even be hiding a Stacy London stripe under there?

My hair started graying well before 30. (I win.) The sparkly roots are getting pree-tty noticeableLike you just stepped out of a salon where they don't wash anyone's hair. these past few years, whereas in my 20s I could go two or three months between touchups. Here is my advice: find someone who will do root-only touchups with permanent color (remember: it's damaging to pull the color through the ends every time!) for cheap and make a standing appointment every seven weeks or so. In a big city, "cheap" is 50-60 bucks; out in the real world it's tens of dollars less. If you live in NYC I recommend a junior stylist at Platinum Salon (they give you wine!) or Salone May in the LES (say hi to the dudes at the skate shop next door). And yeah, not washing your hair as often will preserve the color for sure. Unless you smoke indoors or work in a BBQ restaurant, it's probably not actually that dirty/smelly on day two, just oily and it's better for your hair not to be stripped of that oil with detergents so often. You're doing the exact right thing with the dry shampoo, and guess what? Suave just came out with one that smells good and is pretty cheap. No, not everyone uses dry shampoo, just the ladies with oily hair who don't have to go to the salon to get their roots redone every four weeks. If they're doing everything right, you could never spot them in a crowd.

Secret weapon: with the money you save buying drugstore dry shampoo, get one small can of Bumble & Bumble hair powder in your color. Not only does it act as a dry shampoo, it has a slight tint that will cover your grey roots for that last scary week or two before your next salon visit. Two hair birds, one product stone.

I'm starting to get fine lines and stuff — I'm 28 — and am thinking I should maybe moisturize better. I break out sometimes, so I tend to shy away from FULL ON face cream before bed, but are there maybe hydrating masks I could be using? (And I'm starting to get a little Earth Mother-y, so if there were any at-home ones you'd recommend, I'd be very grateful!) But: store-bought is totally fine, too! But then — ultimately doesn't washing the mask off at the end strip the moisture back away? The only times my skin is reliably not-dry is when I moisturize or skip washing my face. Also, how long does the loving-my-new-crows'-feet feeling last? Six months? Three weeks? Fourteen more seconds?

Oh I have so many questions for you, if only I knew you IN REAL LIFE! My questions and answer are these:

1. What kind of face wash are you using? Whatever it is, you might want to switch to something less drying/irritating. I'm going to guess it's some sort of acne fighting formula since you mention breakouts, which is fine for lots of people (me!) but not you if it's drying you out and you're not willing to replace that moisture with a moisturizer. Speaking of...

2. What kind of moisturizer do you use? You know what one thing is about getting older skin? Moisturizer WORKS. I mean, it always has, but as we age and our skin becomes drier, the immediate effects of moisturizer can feel like magic. Why don't you just use moisturizer if, as you say, it makes you feel better? And if you're feeling like your moisturizer makes you break out, experiment until you find something that doesn't. Speaking of...

EWWWW3. YES! I know some recipes for DIY masks. I spent my adolescence on a farm a million (20) miles from civilization – of course I know about at-home masks. First though, I rarely use a mask for hydrating. Personally, I find that they work better for pore cleansing — you know, loosening up blackheads and stuff. But! They sure are fun and you will feel softer and smoother at least temporarily? Here are the four ingredients from your kitchen you want in a moisturizing mask:

- honey
- an egg yolk
- avocado (more moisture) or oatmeal (calming/anti-itch) or yogurt (gently, gently exfoliate-y) — these are optional
- an oil like almond or olive.

EEP! It's true. Mix roughly equal parts of the first three things and about a half teaspoon of whichever oil you choose and smear it all over your face. Better yet, brush it on with a pastry or makeup brush and then put a straw in your wine, two cucumbers on your eyelids, and kick back with some freaky tunes for 30 minutes. Do you have a recliner? That helps too. Then, if you can stand it, avoid using soap and rinse only with water long enough to get the stickiness off.

Ultimately, you're just going to keep drying out, though, until you shrivel up and die. So: drink WAY too much water — like a gallon a day, wear plenty of your secret weapon moisturizer you spent months trial-and-erroring your way to that doesn't make you break out, and stay out of the sun. You may also want to try a serum, that mysterious gel-like substance that straddles the line between moisturizer and wrinkle medicine. I love the one from Philosophy as it absorbs quickly and feels super light, but everyone makes one now. A thin layer in the morning or before bed might deliver just enough satisfying hydration without feeling heavy or pore-cloggy. And about those crows feet...

4. GET A GODDAMN EYE CREAM, WOMAN! These things are not hocus pocus or cheating like Botox. (For the record: I am fully in support of beauty cheaters who don't get caught.) The beauty aisle at Whole Foods surely carries some hippie-dippy brands, or you could try making your own from one of these fun recipes.

I recently bought a few pairs of thigh highs (in solids and stripes) that I love. They're thick, cottony, warm, cozy, and they stay up on their own. My only problem with them is that I have no idea what to wear with them. I have long legs, so they hit pretty low on my thighs, right around where most of my skirts hit, which is awkward-looking (not enough skin showing to be sexy, but some skin does show). If I wear them over leggings, the cuffs of the leggings make my ankles look bulky. Also, a lot of my skirts are made of thinner materials that kind of contrast with the thickness thigh highs (does that make sense?). Any recommendations for what kinds of skirts/dresses to wear with them? I tried looking up outfits ideas on the internet, but most pictures of girls in cotton thigh highs feature them lounging indoors in their panties. I'm more interested in being able to go outside.OTK 4 LYFE

Rule #1 for adults wearing bulky, sock-like thigh highs (or "over the knee socks" as they are being marketed these days): your ankles should NEVER show. In other words, wear them with boots. Silk thigh highs can be worn with heels for sure, but no thigh highs shall ever be worn with flats or sneakers unless you are a full time paid member of the Harajuku Girls OR you are still legally a child OR you are getting paid to do so on a runway. Exception: in the privacy of your own home or bedroom. Do whatever you want in those places. Other exception: the one or two of you who are reading this and thinking "But I know I look AMAZING in my OTK socks and Chuck Taylors!?" Keep it to your adorable little selves while the rest of us learn to cope with being mortals.

Once you get the boots part down, try wearing them over tights instead of leggings. Even a thin pair of colored tights lends some modesty and warmth without adding too much bulk. Here are some cute photos to get you inspired.

One last important thing: thigh high socks are also SUPER hot scrunched down to look more like leg warmers. Versatility!

You told me to quit with the heat styling, and this weekend my hairdresser told me to turn down my flat iron because it's burning my ends. Okay okay, fine, you guys win. The problem is that when I obeyed him and turned down my iron, my hair is now flat and straight (not in a pretty way, just in a "oh, that girl didn't have enough time to do her hair this morning" way). SO, do you have any recommendations for curlers that I can sleep in that will make my hair look pretty (and not have random curler lines/corners in my hair) but also not make it impossible to sleep because I have big bumps everywhere? I don't know if this is possible, but I hope that you do. I recognize that this is dowdy blah blah, but we can add this to the list of weird things that the New York Times says that people who live alone do. My split ends thank you!

pellowsDo you remember when you were little making curlers out of some old dude's destroyed t-shirts that were meant to becomes car waxing rags? NO!? Just me? Okay, ummm, well, what we did was rip up about 2 inch wide and 4 inch long strips of the t-shirt, get your hair wet, and then roll your hair around the fabric and tie it in a loose knot and sleep on it. That system has gotten grown up and more comfortable with the addition of foam! They're called "pillow soft" curlers or rollers and they look like mini maxi pads. Goody makes some. And... they work. Don't just take it from me:

Previously: Bullet Bras, Rancid Perfume, and Mascary.

Do you have a question for Jane?

Photo by Poznyakov, via Shutterstock.

292 Comments / Post A Comment


Regular ol' olive oil makes a great moisturizer. Just put it on your face. Trust me. It's science! Plus, boyfriends love it when you smell like bruschetta.

dj pomegranate

I do this. When I first told my bf I was doing this, he said, "What if you keep waking up finding me licking your face? What if I start bringing baguettes to bed?" We decided this would be ok.


@dj pomegranate I like this very much.


@dj pomegranate The problem is that it wouldn't be my husband licking my face, it would be my dog.


@special_boots I went to sleep with a face full of olive oil last night! Current anti-aging skin regimen: 2 nights Retin-A, 1 night face full of olive oil or face full of vitamin E oil or face full of shea butter, and repeat. And heavy night cream during the day, because my skin is JUST THAT DRY.


@werewolfbarmitzvah My skin is so dry right now that I can only do maybe one night a week of Retin-A. Damn thyroid pills. Even before that, I could do maybe two nights a week. My skin has never acclimated to the retinoids the way I always heard it's supposed to. I'm hoping getting back on the olive oil wagon will help...

Oh, but for daytime, sunblock, sunblock, and sunblock! All the more so when you use retinoids, which increase your skin's sensitivity to the sun. Girl! Sunblock!


@Ophelia At least it wasn't both your dog and your cat at the same time. At least they were getting along with each other?

I went back to the face lotion after that.


@special_boots I just started doing this too! And LW 2, I am also 28, prone to break outs and have dry skin (curses to you, eczema!) Point is, I ran out of moisturizer one morning, was lazy that day and didn't buy any new stuff then at night used olive oil and my face has never looked better. Also, I find that washing well (getting all the make up off) at night and then only rinsing my face and putting moisturizer on the dry parts (eyes, cheek bones, forehead) in the morning makes a huge difference. Also, Lavender essential oil mix from aveda mixed in with the olive oil makes it smell less like pizza dough and also calms red spots.


@special_boots I use avocado oil on my face exclusively these days (no scent!). I think olive would work just as well -- I did coconut oil for awhile but couldn't get past the smell. I use it to clean my face and to moisturize, and seriously I have to say my 30 year old face has never looked better. Or for the last few years anyway. Before the oil I used to get break outs -- now, none. Counterintuitive, but it's worked really well for me. I put the oil on my face and wipe it off with a wet washcloth (using very hot water). Then I add more oil to moisturize. I can't tell you enough times how much I love it.


@special_boots I also love olive oil, but something I love even more lately is jojoba oil. I find that it absorbs faster and doesn't feel as oily, and also has a more neutral smell. Sometimes I'll add a bit of essential oil into it in a larger vessel so it has a bit of a scent, too.

But whatever oil one may be using, the important thing is to use the tiniest of tiny droplets! This ain't the time for a dime-sized blob.

Or, if you find that you are still feeling oily, put it on the same way after you wash your face in the shower, then rinse your face off with warm water.


@special_boots Yeah! Half olive oil, half castor oil, and a very hot washcloth in the morning (before i wash my hair, because i will inevitably get oil in my hair washing my face). Then just a hot washcloth at night to get the day stuff off. There was a one-week acclimation period, but it appears that it actually works a lot better than scrubbing the hell out of my face with soap.

Vera Knoop

@dj pomegranate Now all I can think about is crumbs in bed. Noooooooo

:Cinnamon Girl:

@special_boots Adding a splash of olive oil to a bowl of warm water for a foot soak makes my feet so soft. <3 you olive oil!


@special_boots I love jojoba oil! After lots of trial-and-error with hippie-dippy brands (love you Dr. Hauschka, but your sweet almond oil, which is in *all* of your products, gives me the biggest zits ever!), I found jojoba oil was one of the few oils that didn't cause breakouts. I like to use the ones mixed with rose oil, and sometimes I sprinkle in lavender oil (if I'm feeling sensitive) or tea tree oil (if I'm feeling breakout-y).


@werewolfbarmitzvah Vitamin E! Basically I slather on oil (E, coconut) and other foodstuffs (apple cider vinegar) from Trader Joe's all over my bod and call it a day.


@.Lauren. OOOOH! Do you rinse it off or just sort of wipe it off? Do you have to put socks on right away so as not to grease up the floor? Does it make a big, good difference on heels and that side of the big toe part? This seems too good to be true!

:Cinnamon Girl:

@Hellcat I soak, then blot dry so as not to wipe all the olive oil goodness off. If my feet need it, I'll file them with my little foot filer, and push cuticles back, etc. Then socks. My feet aren't super dry, so I might not be the best measure of actual dry heel/toe improvements, but they do feel amazing afterwards.... very glossy and silky.

Olive oil really is too good to be true in many cases. It's like this beautiful little miracle liquid of life! I am grateful for olive oil!


@.Lauren. Thanks. I'm gonna try even though I'm a serious Dry Foot. Why, I have no idea--I maintain, I swear! Scraper thing in the shower, lotion on the feet every morning under the tights/socks, and at night when I go to bed. But I'm also always barefooted at home (right now, even). Maybe that's part of it?


@heartubleachie JOJOBA OIL IS MY HEART AND SOUL. It's the only thing that really works magic for my weird super-dry combination skin (flakes + zits? cool!!). I mix 3-6 drops with my Olay moisturizer and practically bathe in it. Most of the time I don't even have to use medicated acne products anymore. OIL fixed my acne. What even.


@.Lauren. I don't have a big bowl for this! Is it really awful if I, say, sit on the kitchen counter and... put my feet in the sink? That seems weird...ish. But it is my sink in my apartment and I suppose I can do what I want with it!

:Cinnamon Girl:

@Hellcat Your apartment, your business! (I usually use a really big pot, which might be kind of gross? But I clean it afterwards so whatevs.)


@special_boots - Ugh, I wish I could use an oil after using Retin-A. That was the only thing that kept me from being peel-y and disgusting. But even argan oil made me develop these hideous flesh-colored bumps all over my face, and I could feel junior high-level pizza face lurking just below the surface.

I'm taking another crack at getting my skin to acclimatize to Retin-A, but the peeling seems to never-ending. I never realized it was possible for my skin to drink up this much moisturizer.


@special_boots Ladies, COCONUT OIL. It changed my life. Go buy yourself a huge jar of extra virgin coconut oil right now. Break into a store if you must. I bought to use on my legs for keratosis pilaris, and the KP was 90% better in under a week. Now I use it as an all-body moisturizer, face moisturizer, cuticle oil, eye makeup remover, and ingrown hair soother. I'm told it's also great for dry or super curly hair. AND you can eat it!

:Cinnamon Girl:

@bethamphetamine Coconut oil is delish on a rice cake with a sprinkle of salt on top. Noms! Also as a moisturizer, although I wouldn't put it on my face because I think it might clog my delicate and fickle lady pores.


@remargaret I love this method and I while I did it my skin looked great but ... My washcloths got so disgusting! How do you clean yours?


@AniaGosia yes! please advise!


Frantically taking notes on this whole thread...!


@AniaGosia Yeah, that. I used to do that whole "apply baby oil before drying off after the shower" thing, but, oh, the number it did on the towels. In fact, one towel is now relegated only to beach or workout status because it still seems... wrong. That sucks too; it's a big, huge, soft, plush Hugo Boss towel that I got for nothin' because an old BF worked for HB.


I use coconut oil which I had been really enjoying. I love how it makes me smell like cookies. But, I have been having unbelievable problems with my skin lately though. I have always had perfect skin (at least since I stopped being 15) but lately it’s been so terrible – dry, painful, breaking out way more than usual, and any scab/blemish WILL NOT HEAL. I admit I touch/pick at my face way too much and that this is probably most of the problem but I used to be able to basically scratch at my face with extreme prejudice, slap some triple antibiotic or Neosporin on and have perfect skin again in the morning. Now I have disgusting scabs that won’t heal all over my face (not all from picking – some of them just GOT THERE) and I feel like a leper. Nothing helps. I use Neutrogena foaming face wash, I’ve tried “harsher” stuff but it just makes my skin more dry and painful (I already have very dry skin), normal lotion, coconut oil, etc. I want to see a dermatologist but my next doctor’s appointment isn’t for a while and I know that doctors are kind of stingy with dermatologist referrals (I have KP I want to get rid of too though so I don’t know if that will affect that). I moved a while ago and my mom says that when she moved to California in her 20s her (also perfect) skin went crazy, but a doctor told her it was just the change in water/climate and it eventually returned to normal. I don’t know if anyone has any advice but I basically just wanted to bitch about all this.


@AniaGosia A big, cheap stack of washcloths, to start - switch out washcloths as often as you remember. Then I do the oil in the shower, wipe it off with the washcloth, and soap up that washcloth to do the rest of the showertime. I think the immediate rinse with soap helps a lot.


@remargaret That helps, thanks! Now that I think about it, washing the cloths with dishsoap should work pretty well too - I'm having images of oilspill ducks and if it works for them, it should work for the washcloths!


@special_boots jojoba oil jojoba oil jojoba oil jojoba oil. I use oil for everything. Sweet Almond on my everything, jojoba on my face. Jojoba is superrrr great-- it's light (I find olive is pretty heavy for my skin) and lovely.


@all Oil is the way to go. If you like your products a little fancier with pretty smells http://betweenyouandthemoon.com/shoppe is an amazing product line made by one woman in her apartment, using local and organic products whenever possible. Ok, yes, she's a friend of mine, but her stuff is amazing and lovely and my skin has never been better.


@Ellie Found any good KP treatments? Particularly on ones arms?


@Shayna I know it's already mentioned, but if you haven't given it a shot I started using coconut oil in the shower on my arms, wiping off with a washcloth, and it has really helped in the last 2 months. They're really smooth and much less red.


@special_boots Is the wiping off important? Is it better one way or the other? I think I might try- I'm pretty desperate.
(On a side note, oh man, I just realized mid-way through Ellie's post she says she uses it for KP. ;_; Sorry for the pointless comment)

The Lady of Shalott

I was just thinking the other day how it feels like it's been SO LOOOONG since a BQA post, and I was all "I miss Jaaaaane and her superior beauty intellect!" and then I looked just now and it's been like, a couple weeks. Oops.

:Cinnamon Girl:

@The Lady of Shalott I KNOW. I thought the same. There just hasn't been enough Jane/How to be a girl on the 'pin these days.


Allison this so cuyute! I love the island coming out at the end LOL!@k

Library Ghost

Dear LW1: If you can afford them every 3-4 months, lowlights are a good way to coexist with your grays. A savvy colorist will do a good job of covering up the most obtrusive grays, and everything else kind of gets mixed up together. That's what I do, and my root anxiety is never anything like what it is when I did allover color. And, sometimes women will notice and think how cool you are that you don't seem to care that your silvers are showing.

Jane Marie

@Library Ghost thanks for this! yeah, my mom can do that because she's fair haired, but mine is too dark - both my head hair and my face hairs - so even one grey showing is like a headlight. haha

Library Ghost

@Jane Marie Ooh, yeah. That's tricky. I have kind of medium-dark hair so I guess it works OK for me because the contrast isn't as intense. Being a woman is so complex!

:Cinnamon Girl:

@Library Ghost "Being a woman is so complex." I want that embroidered on a pillow (sorry I just watched all of Downton Abbey in a few weeks and now I just want to sit around in gorgeous gowns embroidering things?)


@Jane Marie I wish LW1 had mentioned JUST how much gray hair she has. If it's not a ton, then going with a Gloss will do the trick nicely--especially with dark hair (I have super-dark hair, and I've used it--and it's relatively cheap and VERY easy to do at home. It also makes your hair VERY shiny!

The thing I like it that is washes uniformly out of your hair (it takes a long time to wash the color out, though), so you don't end up with glaring roots. I also don't feel like it does a lot of damage to one's hair, like normal permanent dye does.


LW1 and Jane, you make me feel so much better! I've had white (not even gray! WHITE!) hairs since I was 23, and they're not showing any signs of slowing down. None of my friends started going gray that early.

But I do totally dye my hair.


@meetapossum I'm pretty sure all gray hairs are actually white? It just makes your hair *look* gray when the white hairs mix with dark hairs, so everyone calls it gray hair.

I'm like 95 percent sure on this, although I didn't look it up or anything. I'm just going to assume I'm right.


@meetapossum Oh thank god for you! I am only 24, and I have found, at this point, 17 white hairs since I was 23. I pluck them every time, but I also dye my hair, so I only ever notice new ones whenever the top of my hair near my part catches the light. I am horrified by the fact that I started getting gray hairs this young.

Also, my beloved cat who sleeps on my head at night has pure white hair, so when I first started noticing my white hairs, I thought they were hers. Then I realized they were attached. :(



You are correct, says the naturally light-haired lady who was just in the office bathroom making faces at her white roots. Time to dye!


@meetapossum I'm 23 and I have an awesome streak in my hair that I used to cover up, but now I just rock it. I found my first grey/white hair when I was in 8th grade, but my dad also went grey early so I always knew it was coming. I love my streak though, I feel like Rouge from X-men!


@meetapossum Sigh. I'm 21 and have been finding white hairs for more than a year! I pluck them every time, but am slightly paranoid that just makes more appear...


@special_boots Yeah, they go big or go home. White white white.


@matisse Like Stacy London (from What Not To Wear)! I love that. I want a naturally occurring, random streak in my hair. Preferably it'd be bright, firetruck red, but, you know, impossible physiology and all that...


@meetapossum I was 17 when I started getting grays (whites?). My mother is way more paranoid about it than I ever have been.

@matisse I had a friend whose mom's hair had a big awesome streak in it! They were Mennonites and she would wear her hair pulled back in a bun so it swirled around her head. It. Was. Amazing. Unlike my mother's sometimes hilarious dye jobs.


@matisse I am so jealous I want a streak. WANT IT.


@olivebee My mom once hopefully suggested that they were just very blonde, but that was just wishful thinking.

A couple of years ago my friend and I went to a fancy hairdresser in the city because she had a discount. I look kind of young for my age, and the conversation with the stylist went something like this:
Her: Hahaha...it's so funny you have so many gray hairs when you're so young! How old are you, 19?
Me: I'm 24.
Her: ...do you want some wine?
Me: YES.


@matisse OH MAN. That is my dream! I have sweepy bangs and all the gray hairs are right where the bangs are parted in the front. My dreamhope is that they will someday form an awesome stripe, but right now they are all over the place.


@olivebee My mom started going gray by only getting a line of them right around her hairline - but nowhere else. IT LOOKED SO COOL, especially since the rest of her hair is jet black.


I love all of you, by the way.


@meetapossum This sounds like The Best hairdresser. I hate going to the hairdresser (yay difficult hair and sensitive scalp!) and feel my experience would be greatly improved with wine!


@meetapossum Yes, mine are all in my bangs or at the very front of my part! Why the bangs? Why not the back of my head where people can't see when they talk to me? (Well actually they probably can, because I am a short person).


@meetapossum I am of two minds about the gray hair. On the one hand, I want every lady to do what she feels good about doing, if it's dying them or whatever, or plucking them, whatever she wants to do. On the other hand, if more ladies on the fence decided to go natural, it might become more socially accepted for everyone who wants to go natural. And I would like that.


@meetapossum I had so much grey hair by 17, people openly commented on it. I was more than 75% grey by 30. The only thing I can say is that I decided since I was coloring it, I would do some fun colors. Have had pink highlights, streaks of purple, etc. All better than grey.


@all I think grey hair is incredibly sexy, on both men and women. I mean, look at Emmylou Harris and Anderson Cooper. I've been getting wiry white hairs since I was 16, but they are pretty random and I only pluck them about once every 6 months. I'm weirdly excited to have full-on white hair because I think it's gorgeous. Maybe I'll be singing a different tune by then...


@meetapossum I'm in my early thirties, and started getting silver-white hairs in my teens. I rock them! I've always loved the salt & pepper look on women, and I'm SUPER stoked for the time when ALL my hair is grey.

:Cinnamon Girl:

I love the silver streak. Reminds me of Bonnie Raitt. I was jealous of hers when I was a little girl? Because I thought she was the coolest?

Also, sometimes grey hair can be the result of a Vitamin B12 deficiency, Copper deficiency, or thyroid imbalance. Check out this hippy thread on grey hair for more info... (some of it might seem kooky, but Blackstrap Molasses is actually a great source of easily digestible copper) (also, EarthClinic is so weird sometimes, but it is my favorite -- I've gotten some really great advice on that thing).


@heyits Ditto! I love me some grey, think it's gorgeous, and am hyped to get some myself. (My mother, naturally, is going to be 58 this year and has BARELY ANY GREY AT ALL.) My boy has recently started going all salt-and-peppery (except he's got really light brown hair so...salt and buttery? Salt and garlic powdery? I don't know what the correct food to sub in here is) and I love it...and he hates it so much he's threatening to start shaving his head forever. Sigh.


@meetapossum Ugh, I started getting gray hair when I was 15. And my hair is apparently super-weird, because it turns copper-penny RED for about a year before it turns white. I have a natural hair color that's a super-dark brown, so BOTH colors stand out like crazy.

I kind of don't really mind the gray hairs though, and think they look kind of pretty in my curly hair.


@matisse Nice; I also have a streak, like Rogue from X-men (but not really because it is at the base of my neck). I usually just cut the small section at random when they start to peak out when my hair is pulled up. My streak showed up at 22-23ish. I don't get any other white hairs, just this one little section. At first I was freaked out (will my entire head be gray in a year?!), but after some Googleing read that it is just some weird genetic thing some people do.

One "famous person" example is Stacy London from What Not to Wear; she rocks her hair streak! I would too if it was in a better location... sometimes I think about letting it grow out and then dying it electric blue, or pink or something.

Sorry if this is ramble-ly, I'm out of work in 15 mins and very distracted!


My boss, who is in her mid-late 30s has a natural silver streak in her hair. It's wide and starts at the front of her hair...so cool. I'm just hoping I get my grandfather's genes, who didn't go gray until he was in his 80s. He saved so much money on hair maintenance!


I've had grays and silvers and whites since about 14 years old (I'm 22--oh god, I had to sit here for longer than should have been necessary trying to decide if I'm 22 or 23, I need sleep), and it's funny how scared for me my hairdresser got when she noticed them. Who cares?! They're fun! Mine don't really collect anywhere cool, though, they're just scattered across my whole scalp. Us graybeards (imaginary beards?) are awesome! My uncle has had a full, lush head of pure white hair since he was relatively young, and it's so cool.

Faintly Macabre

@meetapossum You all make me feel better, too! I noticed my first white hair a bit over a year ago, when I was 21. And of course it was RIGHT on my part. I've had a couple more pop up over the past couple of months. It's mostly freaked me out because people already think I'm older than I am, so I'm paranoid that I'll look like I'm 40 by the time I'm 25. (I like to think it's the height/clothes, but I don't know for sure!) So far, they're kind of wiry, and as I already have a lot of curly hair, I'm worried about looking like Miracle Max's wife. Also, I'm still dealing with acne, so having acne and grey hairs in my 20s seems a little unfair.

A friend of mine is in her early thirties and has tons of white hairs that she rocks, but she's gorgeous and otherwise looks ten years younger, so it's easier for her.

I think I'd rather mine either keep appearing rather slowly, or that my hair goes entirely grey really young (famous last words) and looks awesome, as long as it's not too coarse. If it's half-and-half when I'm, say, 27, I'll feel more pressured to dye it.


@meetapossum i once had the opposite problem. i thought i found my first gray hair, but it was a stray from my roommate's white cat.


@figwiggin I think grey / white hair is so sexy. I want Emmylou Harris's hair.


I feel like I should note that I don't dye my hair because of the grays, but rather because my hair became a weird mousey brown color as I got older and I like being a (fake) red-head.

:Cinnamon Girl:

@.Lauren. Epic hyperlink fail!

Here's the link to the earth clinic forum on grey hair: http://bit.ly/yzDhqf


@.Lauren. Word up on the thyroid thing. I was going grey in my 20s but after I got my hypothyroidness diagnosed and medicated I started finding hairs that were grey at the ends and dark again at the roots.

Miss Violet

@meetapossum "Train" your streak to be where you want! I started going grey in college, and by the time I was 30 I was streaking around my temples like the Bride of Frankenstein, but way less cool. It made me look very tired. So I started box coloring all my hair - until Mr. Violet suggested that I leave one section un-colored to see how long it would take to go fully grey. It took about a year for all the fake color to come out - but now I have a streak where I want it (about 2 square inches in front, at my part), and I can monitor it a bit to see the color and condition of the grey. When I box color the rest I just coat the grey streak with conditioner and twist it around a bobby pin so it doesn't get touched by the dye.

I do love my grey and eventually I'll stop coloring the rest and let it all go silver - although I would love to know if there is a process that will strip all the fake color out and leave only grey. I admit that year-long growing out process was a little painful to watch!

Blousey Brown

@Miss Violet It never occurred to me to do that! I've had grays since high school and only started coloring at 30. A decade later, I'm sure I'm half gray and often fantasize about finding out (part of fantasy is dropping out of society, living off the land, shaving my head, and growing it out gray). But if I stay in society with my good job (v. likely) I'll have to try the streak.


@matisse I have a silver streak too! Though mine is just below the top layer and doesn't show unless I pull back the front part of my hair. My mom always told me it was lucky, and I don't see why I shouldn't believe her. (I don't feel that I've been particularly lucky in life, so it's a good thing my streak kept things from being even worse.)


@matisse I'm 34 and have just Let. It. Go. And I love it. I'm more Storm than Rogue these days, and I'm surprised by how many compliments I get. I HAVE found that it looks much better now that it's super short. The white's much brighter when it's not blending in with the brown hairs like it did when it was longer.
Grey hair is hot!

:Cinnamon Girl:

@Slapfight I'll have all of you know that I had an incredibly vivid dream last night that I had gone grey (I have no grey hair).


@.Lauren. Joooooooooin uuuuuuuussssssssss...It's sparkly in here.

:Cinnamon Girl:

@Slapfight Oh my goodness your hair is so purrrrrrdy. And I probably will in due time (my grandma had gone 100% white in her 30s). Although come to think of it, my other grandma had like 5 grey hairs at 85. It'll be a mystery surprise!


@.Lauren. Thank you! Well, retaining your natural hair color for a long time is pretty awesome too! I just got tired of fighting mine/feeling like I had to color. Glad I stopped.

Miss Violet

@Slapfight I'm getting to that point myself - it is such a pain to color it to look "natural" when natural now means grey. And I also agree that for my money grey hair looks best with a short cut- very chic. (But I also hold the rather unfashionable opinion that most women over the age of 35 look better with shorter hair, regardless of the color.)


Gray hair! So I'm about to be 30 one month from now (eeeeeeep!), and I've started to get a few gray hairs, and...I LIKE THEM. Is that weird? I like the way they sparkle and catch the light, I like the contrast between the grayness and the fact that the rest of me kinda resembles a 12 year old, I just LIKE it. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever change my mind and start dyeing it, or if I might just keep the gray forever.

dj pomegranate

@werewolfbarmitzvah OWN IT!


@werewolfbarmitzvah I do too! I feel like, even if no one else notices them, I notice them, and then I feel more grown-up at work.

Also, I have red hair that's actually a bunch of different colors, so I don't know how on earth I'd go about dyeing it anyway. I'm just going to rock the Bonnie Raitt look.


@werewolfbarmitzvah High five, sister! I love my sparkles!


@werewolfbarmitzvah Yes! I've had grey hairs since high school (just over a decade now) and they're starting to get pretty extreme, but they are also my most often complimented trait. Own it for sure!


@werewolfbarmitzvah I like mine, too! They are kind of hidden in my bangs but pop out to sparkle sometimes.

P.S. Please don't hate me

There's a woman who rides my train who looks ~30 with a full head of gray hair. She looks amazing. Go for it!


@werewolfbarmitzvah I love the white hairs in my brunette mop! Rock 'em if you feel like it!


@werewolfbarmitzvah I'm in the same situation. I'm calling it "graying with dignity" aka "too cheap/poor to dye it." Just let 'em do they thang.


@werewolfbarmitzvah I kinda like mine, too. They're like secret glitter in my hair. But they're also underneath a lot of hair, so they're really hard to notice, which may be why I'm OK with them right now.

Also, I love dry shampoo. A lot. I use the Oscar Blandi stuff with the nozzle tip that you sprinkle in your hair. I got a $9 sample bottle at Ulta YEARS ago, and I swear, it never runs out. I'm intrigued by the spray kind, though.

raised amongst catalogs

@werewolfbarmitzvah I'm 34 I love my white hairs! I don't have a full-on streak YET but like others have said, it is my dream. I work with a bunch of ladies who think I'm crazy for loving my white hairs and wanting more of them.


@werewolfbarmitzvah Work it! P.S. @Please don't hate me I secretly hope you are talking about me. Because I am a weenie.

P.S. Please don't hate me

Is your avatar your real picture? If so, then probably not, since train lady's hair is shoulder-length. Sorry! But your hair does look just as good or better!


@P.S. Please don't hate me HA! It is me, but you're sweet. It's cool to hear about ladies working the grey and looking amazing. I used to get a lot of "you should really color that" in the past, but not these days. Strange how it was "distinguished" for the menfolk, but ladies had to hide it. Eff that!


Rose water! Just a cheap bottle from the Asian supermarket. Use it after doing this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDDEMc_AQtQ. Don't be a dunce like me and do not to rub minty paste plus salt into your eyes 'O_o


@Dandizette Orange Blossom Water too! I put it in a spray bottle.

OMG. THAT VIDEO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. I am posting it on my blog right this second. I think the Van Halen soundtrack in the background might be my favorite part. Or the rose.

:Cinnamon Girl:



I stopped using face wash about a year ago, and now just use Ponds and an alcohol toner to wipe makeup/dirt off. I think it's working so far, because my face seems happier than ever, but is putting alcohol toner on your face every day a no-no? ALSO! I have been using a Neutrogena retinol product to ward off wrinkles, but recently I read an article that says using retinol every day might do more harm to your skin than good? How do we ever know what to do?!




@special_boots About the retinol? It's not from like, a reputable looking site or anything, but I was doing some retinol googling and found stuff to the effect of this:

But I want to believe in retinol! Jaaane, is retinol a magic fairy potion or is it going to ruin us?


@melmuu Hmm. Maybe that's an overuse thing? My skin DEFINITELY doesn't want me to use my prescription retinoid cream too often -- it's super drying, so I have to skip it in favor of moisturizer some nights. But everything reputable I've read has always said that long-term, it's the one tried-and-true remedy.

Jane?? Investigate??


@melmuu I just rely on the fact that Tim Gunn says he swears by it and has used it for decades. And Tim Gunn looks fantastic!

ayo nicole

I just got in trouble for using too much heat on my hair, too! The only thing is, I want my hair to turn out waaaavy. How do I do that? Wrap it looser? Wrap more hair around each roller? Help.


@ayo nicole Also, is this only a thing you can do if you have hair that would dry overnight? I go to sleep and wake up with hair that is wet even when it is loose (my hair is long and thick). Because I feel like this wrap curling method would just leave me with wet hair...


@MissMushkila I think the girl in the video just sprayed her hair lightly with water, so it was damp, not wet. I had the same thought as you, initially. My hair DOES. NOT. DRY.

Jane Marie

@ayo nicole yep, bigger chunks wrapped loosely will do it!

tea tray in the sky.

@ayo nicole DO THIS! DOOOOOOO THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I13J7ArHTkM
Everybody do this. I did this, and it was magic, and then I chopped all my hair off and I need to live vicariously through you long-haired 'Pinners.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@Twinkle Little Bat What??? This girl, she is made of magic!


@ellochka @MissMushkila My hair is stupid thick, too. If I do rollers, specifically the plastic velcro rollers that are all hollow and junk, I HAVE to do them in super thin sections, to the point where I run out of room for more curlers in order to get them to dry overnight. Or I wash and roll at, like 5:30 or 6 pm.

Angry Panda

I'm 29 years old and have had grey hair since I was a teenager and I love my grey hair! Enough to delurk and comment without reading the whole column! Also, I'd forgotten my username and password since I never comment, and just got an email which started "Hi Angry Panda!" My day is made.


@Angry Panda I don't really comment much either but must shout out to the other grey haired ladies. I've gradually (over my 30s) grown into increasing grey-ness and I would never dye it now. I know it doesn't work for everybody (sometimes the greys are super-coarse, etc.), but give it a try, people! Own your ever-so-gradually-aging self.

Plus, Jane - you're the best.

Spinach Party

@Angry Panda I've always had a handful of grey strands, but since turning 25 they have been multiplying like crazy, too many to pluck out (I'm turning 28 soon). People tend to only notice when I'm like "Look at my silver unicorn hair! It's so magical looking!". I do this much too often. I don't really mind how much there is at the moment, I only hope it will turn into a cool Stacy London stripe situation. I am WAY too lazy to color it properly, and I've always loved my natural so-dark-it's-almost-black brown hair. But yeah, it annoys the bejeezus out of me that it has a different texture.... we'll see what the future holds, but I kind of like it so far.

conniving little shit

@Angry Panda i always get a little jolt when i get an email starting with "hello conniving little shit"


@Spinach Party I took a note from my mom and refer to my "premature" greying as "silvering." It does hurt that my hair is naturally dark blonde so at this point it just looks like highlights. Regardless, I love my silvering hair, too


@Spinach Party Yeah, what do you do about the texture? I'm down for the color, but most of my hair is sort of loose curls, and the white hairs are kind of kinky/curly?

Spinach Party

@Ophelia Well, to be honest (I think I mentioned above that I am super lazy?) I don't do much of anything. Which is to say I do absolutely nothing. My hair is pretty crazy, long, thick, curly, can me somewhat frizzy (though I've been coconut-oiling it up like a rock star lately, so it's much better). So 95% of the time it's pulled back into a low bun or a side braid. 4.999999% of the time it's flat-ironed straight. On those rarest of rare occasions when I have the time and all the stars align, it's down and curly and delightful and mostly the white hairs blend in and get lost in the mass of dark hair and I don't worry about it. (Or won't until the day the white hairs really start to take over, then I'll have something to worry about.)

My one issue right now are the three or so white hairs that I used to pluck right at my hairline/part. I'm trying desperately to let them grow long so they will just lay flat along with the rest of my hair. But they will grow an inch or two and stick straight up and they are so coarse and white and look crazy, then I can't take it anymore and pluck them again. It's a never-ending cycle.


@Spinach Party Hahahhahaa, I am in that same plucking cycle, with the same 3 hairs. Solidarity.


@Angry Panda I've been going grey since about 15 (now age 30), and finally got tired of dyeing it. Plus, at this point I'd say I'm over 50% white haired. So this fall I grew out the roots and chopped it all off into a pixie - and I must say I'm totally pleased with the outcome! I already look young for my age, and I've gotten many positive responses, even including people who think they are white highlights in dark brown hair. I completely understand why a lot of ppl want to cover it, but I'm *SO* glad I finally decided to just embrace it!

acid burn

@Wondajules I'm 26 and I also love my grey hair and I get totally weirdly militant about it when people complain about theirs. JUST LOVE IT LIKE I LOVE IT, OKAY? But then people tell me it doesn't count because my hair is sort of light brown/dark blonde so even when I point out the giant Rogue-like streak hiding in my side-bangs, people think it just looks like highlights.

Faintly Macabre

@Ophelia That's kind of how my hair is, too, though I have very curly hair. So far, it seems that if I let them grow out, they get a little thinner and smoother as they get longer, so not as bad, so I'm crossing my fingers.

Prostitute Robot From The Future

@JennyJean Me too! I'm a brunette and had my first grey/white hair when I was 15. Been having them since then, usually one or two. Now that I'm in my thirties, they've started to multiply (I think they're starting to form a streak). I don't reallly mind them, so I don't know if I should start dyeing my hair or not.


@Angry Panda I changed my photo to show off my giant white head. I'm loving all this grey hair love!

Angry Panda

@Slapfight Wow! Your hair is amazing! My grey hair is mostly distributed in stripes all over. I used to have short hair which I loved, and looking at your awesome haircut is making me want to chop mine off again.
I love all the grey hair love here, too!


@Angry Panda Thank you! The white's mostly in the front, the back is still brown. Short hair is so much fun!


Jaaane! My friends and I totally made weird concoctions that we wore as face masks. We would just go into the pantry freshman/sophomore year of high school at whomever's house we were at and mix things and put them on our faces!!?

So now I am imagining you were like us circa age 15, only you know, way cooler and actually making masks that made sense rather than just putting food all over your face.


@MissMushkila that sounds way better than what my friends and I would do, which was to make the most disgusting concoctions of theoretically edible things from the pantry, and dare each other to drink them. If you vomited, you lost.


@Ophelia Yeah I don't think we caught on to that game until college. And there was usually drinking involved.


@MissMushkila Yeah, oddly we did this from ages 12-15 or so, no alcohol involved. *Shudder*

Vera Knoop

@Ophelia Wait, I've met you, so I know we didn't hang out as kids, but this was a major pastime for my friends as well.

Emi at Project Swatch

LW2, if your face feels better when you moisturize, MOISTURIZE! I promise there is something out there that will not make you break out. You could try plain jojoba oil, it feels real nice and is very unlikely to make you break out. I've heard plain glycerin is nice too, but I haven't tried it. I also like CeraVe PM, if you want something more commercial, or Lush has some nice products if you want something in-between commercial and do-it-yourself.


Can I ask a random beauty question? Does anyone have tips for nail/cuticle cream or serum that will strengthen my nails and keep them from splitting? I'm trying to grow them out, but they keep splitting and breaking! I'm thinking Vitamin E might help? I already take calcium.


@Dancersize I use vitamin E oil (I have the trader Joe's version), plus I have a tube of Eucerin daily skin balance hand cream - moisturizing them seems to be key.


@Dancersize I can answer! I am obsessed with my cuticles. Seriously, I've been moisturizing them daily for years. When I'm on public transportation with nothing to do, I'm rubbing moisturizer into my nails and pushing back my cuticles like a weirdo.

Anyway- I've found that straight shea butter works best. It's not greasy, so you can put it on during the day and not be disabled by your greased-up nails. (The tiny tin from L'Occitane is expensive, but lasts forever.) In a pinch, I also use non-glossy lip balm or chapstick, but those don't sink in as much as shea butter.

But yes, moisture is key. Also avoid nail polish, or at least give your nails a break from it every other week. Nail polish really weakens my nails.


@Dancersize It's not a cream or serum, but taking biotin supplements is supposed to be very effective for stronger nails. And maybe nicer hair, but I might be making that part up.


@Dancersize: This! It is magic for making your nails strong in a hurry. http://www.beautydeals.net/shop/details.html?id=4955&utm_source=Google_Base&utm_medium=Feed&utm_campaign=Feed&gclid=CK3P9tWdxK4CFUWQ7QodZSP4Ww


@Dancersize Take a Biotin supplement. My stylist recommended it b/c I was growing my hair out and it makes your hair grow faster, but it also makes your nails grow like crazy and quite strong.


Thanks, ladies!!


@chevyvan do you think that Biotin would also help with hairfall? I'm losing more than a bit of hair each time I comb it and its starting to freak me out...


@violetta Wow, I do not know. That happens to me after I color my hair, but I never take biotin after I get my hair colored b/c I don't want the roots to grow out too fast. In other words, I've never tried it.

Bird Internet

@Dancersize I like the Burt's Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream, but I don't know if it really makes my nails stronger. It makes the skin around them less dry though. And it smells good, if you like lemon. It is kinda greasy but I put it on right before bed.


LW#1, did you jump right in with permanent color or start small, with semipermanent? If you and your wallet are willing to try at-home color again, I suggest:
* Semipermanent color
* Not washing your hair for as long as you can stand beforehand (so your scalp is nice and oily when you start glopping on the harsh chemicals)
And after coloring:
* Rinsing as you have never rinsed before
* Applying tons of conditioner (the stuff included in the box or a for-color-treated-hair formula from the drugstore/salon or both, together)
* Waiting at least 24 hours, preferably longer, before shampooing

Clare Boyle@facebook

I noticed my first grey just before I turned 22. At first I would furiously pluck them, but my mom told me that's bad, and I should cut them very close to the root, if I were determined to get rid of them. Now I just box color my hair, and use the Batiste brown dry shampoo when things start showing toward the end of the color life. My bestie is getting married in 19 days, so I've been holding off on coloring until right before the wedding, and my greys are going crazy now. It's driving me nuts, but when I pointed about 20 greys out to my boyfriend, he went "Oh, I never noticed those before." Gotta love boys.


Ugh my SKIN just tell me what to DO. So, I now break out on my cheeks and chin - mostly whiteheads that just won't go away. I used to get just blackheads all over my nose, they seem to have gone away... I wash 2x a day with Neutrogena products and wear a mix of sunscreen face lotion/makeup most days... I thought it was my hair, I thought it was touching my face, my mom told me I have Rosacea ahhh what do i do... :(

PS I do not have Rosacea. I think.


@DrFeelGood If it might be rosacea, see the doctor. There's actual medicated ointments/creams for it, and they'll probably give you a helpful list of what products are known to aggravate it.

And if it is rosacea, at least it's the zitty-looking kind and not the wrinkled, bulbous nose kind?

The Lady of Shalott

@DrFeelGood Part of it may be that you are washing too much! Try using a very gently face wash (Cetaphil works for a lot of people, including me), and washing only once a day--and gently! Don't scrub! Your skin can react to all that washing with producing MORE oil.

So try maybe washing only at night, and just splashing your face with water in the morning in the shower? Wash less, and be gentle, and see if that helps.


@DrFeelGood Finacea! My derm gave it to me, really non-irritating, covered by insurance. I don't actually have rosacea, just some discoloring, but supposedly it works on that, too. I have severely sensitive skin, but it hasn't irritated it yet...



Your mom might be right...sorry! I have it, and it can take the form of annoying breakouts, in addition to the whole reddened skin thing. It's actually pretty manageable now that my doctor and I have found the right combination of creams and so forth. Without a dermatologist who understands me, it would be such a hassle.


@DrFeelGood I've had terrible skin forever (not rosacea, just bad, scarry, inflamed acne) and the only thing that has helped (I've tried everything, including all the liver-frying medications) is this little dude. If you're still reading, I highly, highly recommend it. It's a little expensive upfront but it's made such a huge difference.

I don't work for the company or anything, just sort of shocked to have found something that works on my unbelievably bad skin!


Will those soft curlers work for this girl, with fine, limp, straight as a stick hair? Curling my hair using heat lasts about half an hour, less if it's humid. Those curls, I covet them for special occasions...


@ellochka Yes! I have this hair, and they worked for me. In fact, damp-setting my hair on the soft curlers is the only way for me to get waves that last more than ten minutes.


@Flackette Brilliant! Thank you!


@ellochka I have similar hair and the best way to curl it is to do it while it's wet. (Heh- that's what she said?) I haven't used those rollers, but they'll probably work if you put them in wet hair. Otherwise, my tried and true method is two french braids on wet hair (just towel dry it a little so it's not dripping). You can leave the braids in for the first day (pinned up if you don't want to look like a little girl or an amateur porn star). When you take them out on the second day, you you'll have beautiful loose curls/tight waves. And on the third, you can put in some product and tousle it and have sexy bedroom hair. Three full days of hairdos!

P.S. Please don't hate me

Jane! Thanks for your recommendation on Korres eye cream. I wear it every day and I think the fine lines are actually getting smaller (finer?). LW#2 - try it!


@P.S. Please don't hate me Your username. I love it.


I'm another early-bird grey hair pinner. I saw my first one when I was 21 and now, at 38, I have PLENTY. I've done both the boxed dyes and the professional jobs for years now but since I've been out of work I've let it go. And guess what? I'm fine with it. I know if I go on interviews I'll go in to my salon and have it done but for now, I'm learning to like my greys.
Even better - my boyfriend actually likes the grey and is encouraging me to NOT dye it. He thinks the grey is cool & sexy!

Lily Rowan

I am super excited about the Pond's moisturizer I've been using -- it is cheap and so rich! Also, those mask ideas brought me right back to my youth and my mother's Glamour magazines! Good times.

And I've stopped pulling out my gray hairs, so as not to go bald before I go gray. Luckily, there aren't that many. Unluckily, of course they stick straight up out of my part.


@Dancersize I've been led to understand that taking gelatin helps with nail growth/flexibility? (This from classical guitar people who need nails.) ((On one hand.))


I have started getting more gray hairs recently, and I noticed some of them are brown at the ends and gray several inches to the root, even though I don't dye my hair (yet). I mean, I guess gray hairs have to start somewhere, right?

But it's like, I'm WATCHING the hairs turn gray, which means I'm watching myself age. It's creepy and fascinating.


@punkahontas Me too! I once found one that was red at the bottom, had a white section, and then was red again (which I didn't think was possible). Now, however, they don't seem to switch back to red...


@punkahontas that's how mine grays, it's like the shaft of the hair lose it's color from the end up. and i say grey, but it's really just more of a colorless silver.


@LeafySeaDragon I say "I'm going Platinum."

@Ophelia That's really crazy to have a break right in the middle. I wonder if that was stress or maybe that particular hair just got a second wind.

Beth Anne Royer

I am a 33 year old gray lady. I like to think of myself as distinguished like the new york times. sometimes people ask me if my lover is my son and I cringe, but mostly I think it is awesome. also, many of the dark hair dyes on the market are bad for your health. I love my wild pale pigments.

Karrie Porter@facebook

I let my grey hair grow out last year and it was so liberating. I'd been colouring for 15 years and hating all the Sisyphean trips to the salon and the drugstore every few weeks. No more!!

oh well never mind

@Karrie Porter@facebook Oh I do like the word Sisyphean :)


YES to boots and thigh high socks!!!

I love wearing this look with sharply crisp shorts (the ones from J.Crew are *awesome*), and the addition of tights in colder weather.


@OxfordComma I am RIGHT NOW wearing an aline skirt, ballet flats, and knee high socks. (They're supposed to be thigh highs but my tights are too wide). Yesterday I wore knee highs, heels and a pencil skirt. I wear them a lot, because while I love tights/stockings/whatever, some days I just cannot face the battle to get them on, or the constriction around my waist. Plus, they are expensive and I can only find one brand that does not try to cut me in two.

And I look AMAZING, so there. Admittedly, these are thin cotton ones. I only wear my more bulky ones with boots, otherwise it's cankle city. Which is fine, but also not the look I'm going for.

I just make sure to wear grown up colours when I do this, and no mary janes or pleated plaid skirts. Once, a few years ago, I realised that I was essentially wearing a better-quality version of my winter school uniform, (mary janes, socks, plaid skirt, vneck jumper) only in grey instead of brown. (Brown! Seriously! And our sports uniform was bright purple spandex shorts! And people wondered why we all had body image issues!) So then I made that rule.

Also, I usually make sure I am wearing grown up jewellery and a sophisticated top - no plain tailored shirts, or it's too girly. Something drapey or yesterday it was just a plain black long sleeved shirt for a sleek outline (and maybe a bit of boob, I realised when I got home... ooops).


@Craftastrophies : That sounds AMAZING. And it is all about the Growed-Up Lady Accessories. They seriously make or break an outfit!

Yesterday, I wore a fuschia pencil skirt, a streamlined navy blouse with contrasting piping, grey-brown fishnets, knee high socks, and knee high suede wedge boots in a tasteful soft brown.

It was one helluva sassy look, let me tell you!

And...Purple spandex shorts? W.T.F.

Mine was a hideous shiny goldenrod tank...thingy...with matching shorts. THE HORROR.


@OxfordComma They were practically fluorescent. Paired with a bright yellow polo shirt. God, I'm having trauma flashbacks now.

Your outfit sounds AMAZING.

Also, can I just say, I am updating something back from my proofreader, and not only does she hate you, Oxford Comma, she appears to hate all commas. She puts them where they don't belong and are uncomfortable, and erases them from their true homes. It's making me want to cry.


@Craftastrophies : NOOOOOOO!!!! Your proofreader makes me CRY. As does your old school. For serious, are all gym coaches color blind?


@Craftastrophes @OxforComma Oh boy, I feel your pain on this type of thing! I recently learned (and I apologize if I've already bitched about this here--I might have) that my superiors have decided they "don't like how an apostrophe looks after an S," and have opted to get rid of it in text. Text that customers see, as it is on our company's website and in its catalog. They don't seem to get that proper apostrophes are not a "style choice."


@OxfordComma You guyyyyyyys I am LW3! I am glad to know boots go with thigh highs (I try specifically to buy "thigh highs" more than "Over the Knees," because I have long enough legs that not all OTKs are actually over my knees). I was worried they'd make my legs look all segmented and strange. And I love hearing everyone's outfit ideas.


@Hellcat : GAHHHHHH!!!!!

@SarahP: Yay, LW3! Can you post pictures of you getting down with your bad booted and socked self?


@OxfordComma I will do my best.
"Husband, can you come take a picture of my legs?"
"Uh, why?"
"I am going to show it to people on the internet!"


@Hellcat ARGH WHY. House style here is to write 'e.g.' as 'eg:' and it drives me up the freaking wall. But at least it doesn't change the meaning or anything.

@SarahP yes, pictures! And also, when you are trying to decide if you look weird, maybe walk away from the mirror and go do something else, then come back and just glance at yourself. ANY outfit starts to look weird if you are staring at one part of it for long.


@SarahP : WOOT.


Oooh, can we talk about Deerskin and her white hair and how much I love Robin McKinley?


@Ophelia Yes!! If my hair was like Deerskin's, I'd wear it proudly! (But that book broke my heart so I've only read it twice.) But I will reread The Hero and The Crown obsessively. Luuuuuthe. Love you soooooooo!


@TheCheesemanCometh The Hero and the Crown is one of the best books ever. Seriously love it. I first read it when a teen, now am old, haven't changed my opinion.


@Ophelia Ahhh, she makes me swoon. So sad, but she's such a BAMF with her dog and her dress and her long-distance running!


@pilcrow My copies of The Hero and the Crown and The Blue Sword are both falling apart from so much lovin'.


@gravie My copies are shredded too, but Beauty is the one that's fared the worst. I think I'm on my third (or fourth?) copy.


@TheCheesemanCometh But, still, Luuuuuthe! Have you read any of the short story anthologies (A Knot in the Grain, etc.)? More Luuuuthe goodness, yay!


@Ophelia Yes, yes we can. Although mostly the noises coming from me will be inarticulate squeeing. She is seriously the greatest.


@Ophelia YOU GUYS!! I have read The Blue Sword at least once a year since I accidentally stole it from my school in fifth grade, and I still get excited when she jumps over the gate.


@SarcasticFringehead I just unintentionally reread it last month. I was putting away my daughter's copy, and somehow found myself still up at 2 am finishing it. I just get sucked in, and I can't resist. Her language is so beautiful.


@TheCheesemanCometh Right? and she manages to do that thing where the heroine inevitably falls in love with the handsome prince without it being gross, which I love.


@SarcasticFringehead Yes. I think that's why I fell in love with her books as a kid; not only were the stories and the language awesome, the characters were real, and flawed in a really relatable way. Even Galooney (I can never remember her real name, heh) who is a total wretch, is believable and not just a caricature of a bully thrown out there to incite pity for Aerin.

And I've always loved the way she turned Beauty and the Beast on its head, and made Beauty's sisters sympathetic and real, and gave Beauty herself such strength and humor.


Oh, and I'm totally going grey at the ripe age of 30, too.



But...but...what about this?
Myth #9:
Eye creams are specially formulated for use around the delicate eye area.

Fact: There is no evidence, research, or documentation validating the claim that the eye area needs ingredients different from those you use on your face or neck area or décolletage. Even if there were ingredients that were special for the eye area, that isn't evident in eye products; their formulations are random, with no consistency in the industry. All cosmetics companies put whatever ingredients they want to into their eye products (and usually give you half as much but charge you twice as much as the same product for your face). The ingredient label on these "specialty" products more than proves the point. Eye creams are a whim of the cosmetics industry designed to evoke the sale of two products when only one is needed.
One more point: occasionally a physician, aesthetician, or someone selling skin-care products will defend their eye creams by telling me that the eye area doesn't need ingredients that cause irritation. Well, I agree wholeheartedly with that statement, but the same is absolutely true for the face, or anywhere else on your body. You shouldn't be applying formulations with needlessly irritating ingredients, period! That means that all your eye area needs is a well-formulated product, and that can certainly be the same product you use on your face.
from Paula Begoun, "Don't Go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me".

I'm confused.


@hotdog I still use an eye cream along with my regular moisturizer, because I've just used my regular moisturizer around my eyes, it always feels a lot tighter, less hydrated, and my eye makeup doesn't stay as well. Of course, I don't use a fancy jar of eye cream, just some Burt's Bees royal jelly stuff that seems to work just fine. 27 and no wrinkles yet!


@hotdog she also says there is no difference between salon and drugstore shampoos and to just use suave. :/


@hotdog My dermatologist told me that eye creams aren't really necessary, and I could just use face cream everywhere. BUT! Since I need to use a lighter face cream so I don't break out, I go ahead and use a heavier eye cream because the skin there needs more moisture, plus that's where my lines are, plus I don't get zits there.

So I guess, it kind of depends on the person and his or her own skincare needs.

P.S. Please don't hate me

Just to keep talking up Korres eye cream, I find the thiner texture easier to use on the skin around my eyes, while face cream is a little thicker for better moisturizing on the rest of my face? But I kind of see your point. I have a lot of thinking to do...


@punkahontas this I could get behind. every single thing in the world makes me break out, but never around the eyes...

Gracefully and Grandly

@hotdog I'm glad you mentioned her! I always think about Paula Begoun when face cream/face stuff etc come up and I'm actually surprised she doesn't come up more often. But re: eye cream I've found that it doesn't really matter what the cream is for but my face is happiest with a lighter cream in the AM and heavier in the PM regardless of the lotion/cream *says* it's for. But really, I'm lucky if I moisturize at all.


@punkahontas I just started using the eye cream for no other reason than Avon keeps offering it with my orders of whatever skincare "system" of theirs that I use in the red and white packaging. I haven't noticed a difference one way or the other from when I used just the day and night creams, but I also haven't got any wrinkles there yet and can't really judge. Either the products are really good... or completely unnecessary. Who knows?


@hotdog Yeah, PB also points out that moisturizing does not prevent/fix wrinkles. And not everyone needs to moisturize. Many people are moist enough on their own. (Though not the LW, obviously.) Sunscreen! Sunscreen prevents wrinkles!

Vera Knoop

I'm 32 and just starting to get enough grey hairs that I can find them without looking for them (saw my first around 27 or so). Mostly little sprouty ones near my part, which are annoying, but also a few nice streaks starting to form near my temples. I'm lucky in that all the women in my family have been pretty much fine with going grey, and I seem to have inherited that attitude. I would actually dye all *but* the grey if it were possible.

Also, this article may finally move me to try out rollers. I've always been kind of afraid of them because I'm not adept at this sort of thing, but my hair is the sort that holds a curl, and it's tempting.


@Vera Knoop OH THOSE SPROUTY ONES, DAMMIT! Why are they not straight and not curly but just sort of... ripply? Weird. And they stand straight up too!

Vera Knoop

@Hellcat I know! So annoying.


@Vera Knoop I'm very glad to know that not all of my future grey hairs will be the sprouty kind. Those are the only kind I get right now, and boy are they frightening!


@chevyvan Why are they so weird? Ugggh!

:Cinnamon Girl:

Dear Jane Marie,

No, you are not the only one. At my slumber party in 4th grade we lined up in rows and did each other's hair in rag curlers... It was grand. I have photo evidence.


I've been dying my hair constantly for almost 20 years and just wanted to note that the color you choose will make a huge difference in terms of roots and lasting. When I do colors similar to my natural color I can usually go up to three months before the roots become way too obvious.
However, if I go for red or other more dissimilar colors (I'm a dark ash blonde naturally) the roots become visible after just two weeks, and I feel compelled to call for an appointment right around the end of week four. Red is particularly difficult because the reddish part of the dye seems to fade really quickly, after only 5-6 shampoos or so. I think there's some sciency reason for this but I can't remember what it is right now.
So, all that smart stuff that Jane said and try to choose a dye that is close to your natural color if you aren't already.


I've also had gray hair since my early 20's and I'm 34 and I have a TON now, but I've also been dying my hair since I was 14.


one of my new coworkers dyes her hair gray. she's 27 and has been doing this for years. she also wears very bright lipstick and always looks awesome. there are literally bazillions of ways that it's possible to look awesome.

Frankie's Girl

I started going gray in my early 20s, and have dyed it since I was 14. (but the gray is obvious when it grows out now) I used to dye my own hair, and now go to a salon to get it done, and even bought the fancy-schmansy salon shampoos and stuff... and finally discovered an awesome line of shampoo/conditioner (organix) and my hairdresser even started using it. The key is sulfate free stuff. That shit is in most shampoos and will strip the oils and COLOR out of your hair fast.

I go every 6 weeks, and it's barely faded (at least you couldn't tell if you just were looking except for my half inch of roots showing... and that's what chunky hairbands are for!)

The organix stuff smells fantabulous (I love the mint and the coconut) and my color barely fades at all, and I'm dyed red with blondish pink streaks at the temples (like my avatar actually, but not an updo) and red is the fastest fading color, so that's pretty impressive. And I found that stuff in the drug store!!! Just stocked up as Wallygreens was having a BOGO free dealy.

(Red colors fade faster because the dye molecules apparently don't enter the hair shaft like the other dyes because they are too large to go in easily, so instead of dying inside and out, you're only dying the outside of the hair shaft, making it that much easier to wash out and fade)


@Frankie's Girl Oh yes, seconded on the sulfate free stuff. I have to use it because my scalp is super sensitive, but yes, definitely. AND there are lots of drugstore brands that are sulfat-free now, so you don't have to pay salon prices, although you will pay slightly more than some other brands of drugstore shampoo.


@Megan Patterson@facebook : Sufalte-free all the way!


@Frankie's Girl L'oreal EverPure sulfate-free color-safe shampoo is the ONLY thing that has made my incredibly greasy hair look good on day 2. ONLY EVER.


@Frankie's Girl Agreed on the L'Oreal EverPure......and I love that they make a moisturizing formula and a volumizing formula!


I was JUST WONDERING about eye cream/ face stuff/ whatever!!
I'm 28 and am starting to see face lines that I'm okay with, but don't want to encourage and maybe I shouldn't have basically the same regimen as when I was 15 and ohmygodaging.

Does oil on your face REALLY WORK? That scares me.
I mean, I already use olive oil to remove my horrible lipstick, but LEAVING it there? That seems so.... blackheady.

/crazy person.

Gracefully and Grandly

@JoanTition not a crazy person! or maybe most likely I'm a crazy person too. I really want to try oil for moisturizing. I even went and got some argan oil because of rave reviews on sephora but I couldn't get over the idea that putting oil on my face would make me break out so I never really used it...mistake? So I also want to know all about OIL.


@JoanTition I've been using almond oil to remove mascara for a couple months (not every day-- twice a week? thrice?), and surprisingly, I am not Blackhead City!

Because this was working so well, I decided to give the total Oil Cleansing Method a shot, too. I'm on day eight (using a 50/50 mix of castor oil and olive oil for the first week, now 50/50 almond oil and castor, since the olive felt heavy), and I'm no more broken out than usual. But perhaps this is different-- the OCM does encourage you to wipe most of the oil off, so I dunno how much stays behind.


@JoanTition Oil works, I promise! The idea behind it is that when your skin is dry, it produces more oil with keep the skin moisturized, and then that oil results in shiny skin and mixes with dirt and bacteria on the face and causes breakouts. Applying oil, like jojoba or olive, tricks your skin into thinking it's producing too much oil and scales back on the natural oil production, leaving skin moisturized and less prone to breakouts.

Ever since I started using jojoba oil at night, and a lighter moisturizer during the day, I've never had dry flaky skin (even in the winter when -40C with windchill weather is common) and my skin is much less prone to breakouts.


@JoanTition Jojoba oil is supposedly the closest chemically to our natural sebum (it's also super cheap at Trader Joe's). It really only takes a few drops - you're not slathering your face in a heavy coating; once you've rubbed it in your face shouldn't feel oily. It's done wonders for my combo dry/acne prone skin - my face is clearer than it's been in years, and despite being in the midst of a Canadian winter right now I haven't had any tight, flaky days. It's truly magical stuff!

raised amongst catalogs

@MatildaGold I recently gave up oil cleansing and have been using Lush's UltraBland cleanser for about a week and a half. No complaints so far! I also use their Eau Roma toner and the little bar of serum called Full of Grace. My dry yet adult-acne-plagued face has no complaints so far. Give it a try if you're not quite ready to slather your face in oil (which is actually awesome).


@JoanTition Dude, I feel you. I turned 27 a couple months ago, and I'm starting to notice some very fine lines. I've always been a "who gives a shit?" type of person re: the stress shoved on women about aging and whatnot...but I'm starting to think that's an easy attitude when you're young (which, I know, I STILL AM). Now that I'm closing in on thirty, I find myself thinking, "But aren't I maybe too young for silver hairs/fine lines/spider veins/etc etc insert here?" and that fear of aging is creeping up on me...
But...who gives a shit, right????
P.S.- just bought my first eye cream. Guuuuuh


Henna! Henna for the gray hairs! I buy the henna bricks at Lush--but there are lots of options--just make sure the ingredients are natural and go to town. Especially if you are interested in having red hair--it will turn the gray hairs super bright red and pretty, like highlights. Lush makes a dark red, brown, and black henna, too (these are less straight-up henna and more natural dyes, but its the same basic idea). And it's nice for your hair--mine feels softer and less dry for days and days.

Still makes a mess, though--I second the stalwart hair-dying friend idea.


@maghrabi Yes! I don't much comment on beauty threads because I'm not good at beauty, but I second this! Indian grocery stores sell powdered henna for super-cheap. I mix the powder with water and a little lemon juice to make a paste, then squelch it on my head, put on a shower cap and go to sleep. It's very satisfying to wash all the muck out of your hair the next morning, too. I don't mind my gray streaks much, but I'm thinking about henna-ing it up again because of the cool red-highlight effect.


@maghrabi When I just had a light smattering of grey hair henna worked wonderfully for me. I had so many people ask me how to get highlights the way I had them - fine little bright red hairs interspersed among my dark brown hair.

Unfortunately, I have very dry, thick hair and henna tends to add a bunch of texture (that I for real do NOT need) and it just got to the point where it made my hair a giant puffball.

Now I use Wella 4NW on my roots every 4-5 weeks and about twice a year I'll apply the color to all of my hair.

Nina B.@twitter

@insouciantlover Interesting! Most people who I know use henna talk about how it makes their hair that much shinier and healthier. (Also, word of caution, I also know plenty of South Asian aunties and uncles with awkwardly orange hair.)

For anyone interested in henna-ing their hair, it's pretty easy to pick some up from your local Indian/Pakistani grocers. Make a paste, put it in your hair, cover it with a plastic bag, do your laundry, wash out a couple hours later.


@maghrabi LUSH's henna is amazing! It makes my hair soooo much healthier and prettier. I use the marron one and it makes my reddish hair more auburn. It also covers up the BRIGHT! WHITE! hairs near my part and turns them into a dark orange-ish color.

And yeah, I'm 23. I've been getting white (not gray!) hairs since I was like 19.


@insouciantlover I just henna'd my hair for the first time using a 50%/50% mix of henna and indigo. It was far more successful than I imagined it would be. The color is just a touch darker than my regular dark-brown hair and the greys are a dark gold-red. Kind of pretty, actually, and it left my hair with far more dimension than a straight up, all over one color dye.

Downside: For a couple of days my hair, when wet, smelled swampy.


@Nina B.@twitter I know, and it really would make my hair shiny at first, but it seemed to get drier as the weeks went on.

I would usually get mine at an Indian grocer, and I got pretty crafty with my paste, as I'm wont to do with everything.

The way I'd make it would be to first make a cup of black tea and let that cool a bit. I'd add the tea to the henna in a non reactive bowl and then add lemon juice and some lavender oil, which nearly neutralizes the henna scent. The lemon brings out more red tones in the henna and I'm pretty sure the tannins in the tea make the color come out richer, but maybe I just like playing chemist and succumbing to placebo effects, which I'm also okay with.


I'm 25 and just found my first grey hairs. But I have dyed my hair since I was a teenager so maybe I have more lurking somewhere (no grey roots yet though). My sister has had greys since she was 12. So no, not weird!
As someone who also has very oily hair and dyes it all the time, I've found it actually makes my hair look nicer? What kind of dye are you using? And are you washing it the day before you colour? Because if you are, that might be why it's so dry and strawlike.
Also, if you're a brunette, go slightly lighter (so if you're aiming for med brown, get a light brown colour) so it doesn't obviously look like you dyed your hair. You might also want to try demipermanents like Garnier Herbashine, because they won't be so damaging. They wash out,but fairly gradually which is good because then you avoid the obvious grey roots bit, but if you DIY it's only about ten bucks a month.


I kind of want to claim hair dysmorphia disorder? Not to make light of more serious body image issues but...I wore a bandanna every time I left the house for a period of about 3 years? I don't know.
Additionally, that stock photo is cracking me up.


How long of hair is needed to use the curlers? My hairdresser says the ends of my hair look like they've been fried by a flat iron, but I don't even have a flat iron! All I do is blowdry every morning on medium heat. I figure I should stop blow drying as well, but my hair is flat and limp where it's not cowlicking like crazy if I don't, so just letting it air dry looks like shit, and it's chin length, so ponytails are a no go.


@MilesofMountains I have nape of the neck length hair and am doing it, so I think you can too!


@MilesofMountains : Have you tried combing after a shower into the general shape you want and then sleeping on it wet or damp?

I get TONS of volume this way--my hair is jaw length, too.


The photos of the over-the-knees and boots and cut-off jeans are making me so, so happy--though I'm maybe not brave enough to wear that combo as a 41-year-old person (i'm perfectly fine with the way-short skirts but the shorts make me worry that people will think I'm trying to cling to youth with a desperate fist). But, oh--it's all so cute!

I'm a faux blond (natural is goldish-brown, I guess, at this point) so my gray is pretty easy to hide (thanks, Dad's side of the family, for the early gray... and the too-big nostrils!), but it's getting to the point where I'm probably going to have my whole head done instead of just highlights. If I had just a streak, I'd probably leave it alone. But my "real" hair's roots are dark enough that you can see them sprinkled throughout instead of contained nicely in one really cool-looking place. I wish I didn't care or mind the gray, but I do...


@Hellcat : Get shorts that don't cling to your thighs in a crisp fabric--instantly takes it from Hot Piece of Ass to Growed Up Lady.


@OxfordComma Fabulous (as is your user name)! But... what if I want to be both? I really have to remember my over-the-knees; I often forget they're there when I'm getting dressed (I have the ones that were featured in a sort-of-recent Bargain Bin here; they're nice!). Maybe my mom actually had a point when she told me that I should lay out my clothes the night before!


@Hellcat : Go shorter! :D

...Granted, I can get away with *very* short inseams because I'm 5'2"...


@OxfordComma YEAH! Or... no; I am not a huge fan of my inner thighs! Though, nice tights solve everything! And the shorts with the tights is such a fun and casual, yet "put together" thing.

I'm not much taller at a whopping 5'4" (in a family of Talls too! WTF, Dad; I get your grays and the nostrils, but not the height? Eh, jerk) but with tall-person legs (not to be mistaken, of course, for the Leggy Blond Guys' Gal with a Taste for the Good Whiskey). So a short dress for the typical 5'4" is a Marcia Brady extravaganza on me.

This is my new username

This post maybe made me go run to the bathroom and check for gray hairs and crows feet in the bathroom at work.


Okay, but here is my question about those rollers -- when you sleep on them, don't they smush down so that there are sharp corners in your hair? How do you roll them up to make that not happen? I need to find a video of her putting in the curlers!


@thebestjasmine I have these and they don't make corners in your hair! They are hella soft so they just smush between your head and the pillow. The foam in them really is as soft as pillows so there are no angles to be made. I guess if you slept 100% stationary all night and your head weighs twice as much as average, your hair might be a little creased, but it has never been noticeable for me. Just oodles and oodles of curly curls!


@redkite I have more questions about these curlers because I love the way that girl's hair came out. jane says leave your hair wet (maybe I think?) but the video title is for air dried hair?

also i definitely want to buy/make these but I find the instructions very confusing ... wrap your hair around the fabric and then tie a loose knot? I think I'm having a slow morning cuz i just can't picture what that even means. they probably come with instructions though right? :(


@redheaded&crazy I am certain that they don't come with instructions, but if they did I think it would be no more than that description. You basically roll your hair around the middle of the fabric, and then tie the ends like a twist tie from the grocery store, basically. I will look for a video!


Is there a lovely face mask for people who are allergic to eggs? Can you just leave it out of that recipe? Because I think a rash all over mah face would not be the desired effect.


@aubrey! I think the egg will just make it dry faster/tighten over your face, so without egg it might never dry, but should still work. (Adding clay instead might help? I have no idea.)

raised amongst catalogs

@aubrey! Lush makes a few vegan ones; maybe that's an idea for you if you don't go the DIY route?


Maybe because I am 27 and still mistaken for an 18 year old, but I rather appreciate my grey hairs and my wrinkles. When my hair is all grey I will dye it all pink.


@daylightspool : WOOT!!! I'm going to be the pink-haired granny, m'self!


@daylightspool This is my plan. I actually saw this lady in the flesh last month. Everything she wore was pink too. She was amazing.


@daylightspool ME TOO! I am 26 and had someone mistake me for 16 last summer. I was like, no, I CAN SEE THE WRINKLES. I am OK with them because I'm tired of looking so blasted young. (I got a lot of crap from my classmates for being the baby, all the way through grad school. Also, no one takes you seriously when you look 16.)

:Cinnamon Girl:

@daylightspool I am going to dye my hair pink when it goes grey too! You know that period in high school where your sister dyed her hair 10 different colors?! Well I didn't do that. I've never dyed my hair!! I don't want to start because a) it's a costly habit to keep up, and b) I'm afraid that if I dye my dirty blonde/sun streaked locks, I'll never get them back. I already have to use sun-in/lemon to keep my roots a blonde-ish color in the winter (otherwise the grow out makes me look like a person who dyes her hair?). Anytime I have an impulse to dye my hair, I squash it with "when you start going grey, you can dye your hair pink, then purple, then brunette!"

(I feel bad/vain for writing all that out for some reason. Clearly not bad/vain enough to delete it...)


@daylightspool 23, I get called 16 all the time. WORLD. STOP IT.

Lindsay Pavelka@facebook

Damaged-hair girl: I, too, damaged my hair pretty badly by heat-styling it on too high a setting. I just had a birthday and got a Sephora gift card and used it to buy an Ojon damage-reversal kit and it worked GREAT! I doubt that it truly "reversed" any damage (wouldn't that be actually impossible?) but it really, really smoothed my ends. I have naturally curly hair that is very thick but soft and super crazy frizzy unless I round-brush or flat-iron, but lately I've been making pin curls with clips and my hair turns out a lot like the girl in the video Jane posted. Naturally, I immediately purchased the soft rollers from Amazon. (ps, Jane, you should try to get some kickbacks from the products you recommend...this is not the first time you've sold me on something!) xoxo pretty gals


I am team not-only-boots-with-OTK-socks.
OTK socks and skirts are pretty much all I wear. The 2-4 inches of leg can be cute/casual/flirty, not awkward. Get some dang ol' Goodwill skirts if you're worried about the thickness (which I understand entirely but wouldn't focus on terribly much.)
I also like wearing thigh-highs with garters and sleek short shorts. It looks sharp in a kind of idealized middleschool British boys' uniform way(??).
I dunno if this is what people find appealing, but I like it and get the complimentiest compliments. Also, it's a good way to control your body temp: tall socks are basically pants you can scrunch down or remove if you get too hot. Win-win-win.

ETA: Speaking of "too hot", grey hairs. Yowza.


@Inkcrafter Wait, are you doing the thigh highs/shorts/garters thing with the garter straps visible? Tell me more about this.


Yes, garter straps are visible on the skin-showy part of the leg. Like navy blue/grey argyle thigh highs with fitted navy blue shorts and black garters. And then I'm like whoah stylin!
Be aware I've been dressing this way since I was A Teenager, so it could be a childlike fashion or something. I don't know. I don't see other people do it so I don't know the connotations.


@Inkcrafter damn girl this:

"I also like wearing thigh-highs with garters and sleek short shorts. It looks sharp in a kind of idealized middleschool British boys' uniform way(??)"

sounds more like hot in a kind of british schoolboy's fantasy way ;)

now if you'll excuse me, i'm off to buy some thigh highs ... and garters


LW3: I wear thigh high socks regularly! Definitely wear them with tights and boots. As for skirts - they are great with shorter skirts, almost minis but not so mini that its scandalous (unless you want it to be)! I like corduroy, wool, and darkish denim skirts but any short skirt made out of a thicker material works.
LW4: I have those curlers and they work almost too well! My hair ends up ridiculously curly and takes a long time to settle down into something reasonable. My hair is fine though, so you may get different results.


Thigh highs are really great as someone who lives in Boston (although it hasn't been THAT cold yet this winter). They are essential for going out when it's literally freezing outside. If you wear just tights between November and March, you will die if you have to walk in the cold for more than a block. I often go black mini, polka dotted tights, and black knit thigh highs. I wear them with black sneakers or flats which is apparently a NO-NO!


Re: face wash. I've had slightly problematic skin for as long as I can remember and went to a dermatologist (covered by my insurance, yay) and he gave me this fancy face wash called 'don't be so sensitive' which is soo nice and non-drying and is formulated for your type of skin (mine: rosacea-prone). It's... $40 or so but so far has lasted a good three months and I expect will last longer and WORTH IT!


When I'm having some acne issues (can't use acne wash anymore, hello rash) or my skin is just plain stressed, I skip face wash and I rub witch hazel on my face. It's 100% natural which I like, and not drying at all. It's just a little something to make my face feel cleaner and balance my skin out. It smells weird going on but once it dries the smell completely goes away. If you have chronic dryness problems, you are using the wrong face wash/regiment, period. You may find that all your skin will tolerate is witch hazel and night cream. But don't suffer through chronic dryness.


Hair! Mine is crazytown. Greys- check. Greys at young age-check (first spotted at 16, now 28 and suspect that I'm somewhere around 30-50% grey on a dark brown base). Greys that are wiry and stand up-check. I tend to dye it when it gets bad. But thats not my main problem. My hair is curly in a ringletty way, and generally when I comb it, a lot of hair comes out, which is worrying. I'm talking about a decent-sized hairball every morning (I only comb my hair once a day with a wide toothed comb). I don't know if this is stress related (I have recently moved countries with work) or some other health thing. Its always been kind of like this, but worse lately. Anyone got any ideas of how to deal with this...?

Also: kudos to the ladies who embrace the grey!


@violetta My hair (curly but very fine, and lots of it) sheds like nobody's business every day all the time and that's my normal. If yours suddenly started being way more sheddy than usual, my guess would be stress.


@violetta I'd read someplace that black tea helps reducing shedding. I've been doing it (kind of sporadically) for the past 2 months or so, and I think it's helping. For me the result is the difference between finding 1 stray hair on a nubby sweater when I take it off and finding 10 such stray hairs.

Anyway, once a week or so, I just brew an extra pot (a two-cup pot) whenever I make tea in the morning. I let it cool to room temperature and then, after shampooing but before conditioning, I rinse with it.

The only real downsides are 1) it might be making my hair a bit drier (but it's winter, so hard to tell for sure) and 2) I have to be a bit careful about the tea staining the shower/tub. It rinses off easily enough, but if it hangs out on the porcelain for too long, I have to scrub a bit to get it clean again.


@tortietabbie ahhh that was my verdict, but its horrible nonetheless...!


@datalass that might be worth a go..I wonder how/why it works? Super-conditioner or treatment might help with the dryness bit. Winter hair is a pain (I hate having to use a hairdryer in the winter cos of frizz, however that is the difference between being fine and getting a cold)


I am 23 and I have gray hairs! I am breathlessly awaiting the day when they finally break through my bangs like a boss sunrise and I have a streak like Rogue. Like, when I go to the bathroom, sometimes I check to see if the patch is bigger. In an excited way, not a OH GOD HERE THEY COME way.

Also, I would just like to say, Jane! I woke up an hour late this morning and so I had to skip primer, and it was so horrible! Primer: it changed my life. (Shout-out to my mom who sneakily gave me a mostly-empty sample of what she uses and then I went to Sephora and cleaned them out. She's such a pusher.)


@miwome I found my first grey hair the other day and it was SO EXCITING. I want desperately to have a Rogue/Stacy London streak, or at least the gorgeous white-silver that all my grandparents had/have.


@miwome About a year ago, I got my second gray hair (I'm up to 3, but according to my mom, from here on out they'll increase exponentially), and I was so excited. The first one was just like a side-burn hair, but this was a middle-of-my-head, right-in-my-part white hair, and I told my sister in law: "I just found my second gray hair!" I expected a high five but got a "Oh, I'm sorry." I forgot some people aren't psyched about it!


@miwome I think young women with grey hair are so hot. Actually, I just love grey hair. When people dye their grey hair it makes me sad. I am actually growing out my henna in the hopes that I will find grey hair (because my gentleman has them and I don't and it's not faiiirrrrr)

Barbara Simmons@facebook

Hairband no heat curls - looks awesome on shoulder-length slightly layered hair. The woman in this video is annoying but this actually works really well and is very very comfy to sleep in. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYxS1ohz4Ao&feature=youtu.be


@Barbara Simmons@facebook omg i love that, but i need like 2 more inches of hair to do it! (my back of the neck hair is too short!)

Hutch McHucherson@facebook

I use pure organic jojoba oil to moisturize. It has a very light, pleasant aroma, and a little bit goes a long way. As someone has mentioned already, it is the closest in molecular structure to your skin's natural oils. I understand wanting to go the natural route since most cosmetics have known carcinogens in them such as parabens and pthalates.

Cupcake Coven

I've been going gray since I was sixteen. I'm 27 now, and I'm mostly gray. Gray is great. Gray is lovely. Don't let anyone tell you any different. But I've grown it out a time or two, and I prefer a brighter color.

I've dyed my thick, curly hair every box color under the sun. I got fed up with the dryness and damage, and the way it always turned black from heavy touch-ups every few weeks.

Back in the fall, I switched to henna. HENNA! I <3 u henna! It's completely natural, hypoallergenic, turns my hair a lovely natural bright auburn, tames frizz, and makes my hair so happy!

I buy body art quality henna, mix it with lemon juice and tea tree/lavender oil, stash it in the freezer, and once a month, I slap it on like a mud pack. I wrap it with plastic wrap for a few hours, and tell everyone I'm keeping the aliens from reading my mind. :)

You can even do a few tattoos with the leftovers.

Henna is by FAR the greatest thing to ever happen to my hair.


@Cupcake Coven Yes! This! I've never mixed it with lemon juice or oil, just water, but even then, it's fantastic, tames the frizz, and makes your hair less likely to be oily and more likely to have a healthy shine. You don't even have to bleach your hair if you're a light brown/blonde.

Cupcake Coven

@Shayna There's an awesome gallery of the different colors people get with henna over their natural color: http://www.hennaforhair.com/mixes/index.html

Scroll down for all the pretty colors!


No one is probably going to see this but Kristen McMenamy: http://fashioninthezone.blogspot.com/2012/02/kristen-mcmenamy-by-tim-walker-for-love.html

Gorgeous fashion model with long grey hair and did I mention gorgeous? Sigh...


This. This is the answer to all your hair woes...I'm sure you can get it in the states. I am evangelical about this hair styler. It saved me from a lifetime of straighteners...it straightens but polishes your hair so it is silky smooth with volume (previously only a dream of mine) and you can get lovely curls if you like ot leave it more with the bouncing body. Seriously i think these should be handed out to every woman with difficult hair, ideally subsidised by the state! (hope the link works otherwise just google babyliss big hair)



super late to the game here, but my dermatologist told me to start using vaseline as a night-time moisturizer, and i thought she was FUCKING CRAZY, but then i eventually broke down and tried it and now my skin looks AH-mazing. every night I use a topical retinoid and then i slather my face and neck with vaseline, and i wake up with insanely soft, hydrated skin. i'm already highly acne prone, so i was really worried about breakouts, but it turns out the vaseline doesn't absorb into your skin, it just creates a barrier so you don't lose any of your natural skin moisture. try ittttt!


Jane!!! The girl in the hair roller video is like a black version of you!! The way she talks and moves her hands and eyes... exactamundo Jane Marie.


hi everyone is already gone from this post but! i had to share my gray-hair story. mine started turning in college (i'm now 30) and i just don't care. i have dark brown hair otherwise and what i like to think of as silver hairs all along my part and temples. mostly people don't say anything, but the only comments i've ever had are people who thought i had it done on purpose and wanted to know how. (oh and my boyfriend likes it the rare occasions when i semipermanent-dye it, because he worries that people will think i am a creepy cougar because he is babyface mcyoungerton at 28).
when people ask me about my silvers(!) i like to tell them that i was bombarded by cosmic rays and now i turn into Mr. Fantastic. (or this year, i might have to start saying that i'm Mitt Romney in disguise...)

Lindsay Pavelka@facebook

I wish I could post a picture here because I bought the pillow soft rollers and slept in them and my hair looks fucking amazing today.


Its true that beauty also part of investment that you wont regret. Let see the fact that a lot of peoples spend their money just to make their face more beautiful or their body looks slim. Its part of investments guys ! Even though its not like invest properti in real estate.

Zeki Yol@facebook

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