The Moon Jelly
Previously: The Sea Angel.
Natalie Eve Garrett is an artist. She (sometimes) likes surprises.
art, jellyfish, paintings, Natalie Eve Garrett, animal surprise
MOON JELLIES ARE THE BEST JELLIES!!!
Facebook's side ads started recommending jellyfish tanks to me yesterday. How did they know I'm obsessed with jellyfish? I'm thinking of the Target article yesterday; is "26-year-old married vegan writer" the target demographic for jellyfish tanks? (Why do my friends get posts about babies and I get posts about jellyfish?)
Guys, I'm... kind of obsessed with jellyfish.
Can I just live in this thread?
@SarahP I'm getting those jellyfish tank ads on Facebook, too. I guess "25 year old married administrative assistant/staffing agent/'whatever else we tell you to do, we sign your checks!'" is also the demographic for jellyfish tanks.
@OhShesArtsy I keep pictures of all the bizarre facebook ads I get. My favorite: http://imgur.com/SJd9A
@Third Wave Housewife and @OhShesArtsy I'm so glad you guys started posting here too.
@SarahP I'm moving in, tooooo! With cookies!
@SarahP OK, so I just looked up those jellyfish tanks. I guess I didn't realize these were for actual PET JELLYFISH. I was thinking the tank was named for its shape.
GUYS. PET JELLYFISH.
@SarahP Working as an independent contractor is kind of great except when you have ONE REALLY LONG TEDIOUS FUCKING THING GOING ON FOR WEEKS. I cannot fucking look at this product list anymore. I'm looooosing my mind. Need Hairpin distractions!
@OhShesArtsy I NEED THIS. IT'S HOW I FEEL INSIDE ALL THE TIME!!
@SarahP I get ads for the graduate program I already attended. Has my degree been revoked and this is FB's gentle way of breaking it to me? Oh god.
@OhShesArtsy Pet jellyfish?! WHAT?
@tortietabbie Things that will kill your pet jellyfish: touching, netting, decorative rocks, the filter, anything with a corner, bubbly castles, plants. Things you can put inside your jellyfish's tank: jellyfish, water (but not if it flows too hard! or not hard enough!).
I don't think I'm ready for this jelly.
@tortietabbie Oh, I am totes not ready for it. I can barely keep a goldfish alive. I will, however, spend this awful Friday daydreaming about all the fun I would have with my pet jelly.
@OhShesArtsy Guys, how did you develop this love for jellyfish? They sting you and give you the worst trip of your life possible death, and a lot of psychotic agony.
THE TEENY ONES.
AND THE BIG ONES PROBABLY JUST KILL YOU.
oh my god they're lethal snot, THEY ARE BARELY SENTIENT BUT THEY ARE LETHAL. SNOT.
edit: OH EVEN BETTER THE LETHAL ONES ARE SENTIENT/CONATIVE.
@OhShesArtsy I totally want a jellyfish, but I would definitely kill it. I also want a seahorse, but I would definitely kill it too.
@Third Wave Housewife OR...they help you find god/God: http://www.jellyfishfacts.net/jellyfish-man.html
Also one time at the Jersey shore I brushed against a dead jellyfish and its little poison tendrils left huge red welts all over my arm. I have birthmarks on that arm and I used to tell people they were JELLYFISH SCARS OMG. First graders love that shit.
@everyone Get rid of your jellyfish, seriously, they are terrifying.
@Third Wave Housewife So TERRIFIED.
@Third Wave Housewife They are squishy and weird <3
I also LOVE snails.
I AM NOT ASHAMED.
@tortietabbie IS THERE ANYTHING VINEGAR CAN'T DO? http://www.jellyfishfacts.net/vinegar-and-jellyfish-stings.html
@Third Wave Housewife :( There are jellies that are photosynthesis machines and don't sting and migrate all over the place in their little seas. And jellies that live upside down. And jellies that just look super cool (comb jellies are the best jellies).
But yes, you need a special tank to keep jellies in so the filter doesn't suck them up or smoosh them against the tank walls. But if I had to pick a stupid-ridiculous marine animal to keep in my house, it would be seahorses.
Seahorses, you guys. An aquarium near me has babies, and I got to watch them being fed their incredibly tiny dinners and oh my fucking god it was the best thing in the world.
ETA: Seahorses are even a doable thing, in terms of tanks, because most seahorses' natural territories are about the size of a generous home tank.
@catfoodandhairnets "Lion’s mane can grow up to 100 feet long! Most of that length would consist of tentacles, but don’t let that frighten you less, because tentacles are the killing machines of a jellyfish."
@tortietabbie That is by far the least comforting thing you could offer, thanks. AND RIGHT @JOLIE KERR DO YOU SEE THIS?!
@OhShesArtsy to each her own but I am so, so, so not sold at all.
oh god my heart is pounding TINY KILLER SNOTS.
@wharrgarbl OMG. Tiny baby seahorse dinners?? That is the most fucking adorable thing I can imagine.
@Third Wave Housewife But but but...They're so pretty! I'm still kind of mad at my aquarium for moving to a standard lighting system for their jelly tank instead of a lighting system that shifted the colors between blue and green and purple over the course of a minute or two. It was like a huge jellyfish lava lamp.
@wharrgarbl That is the face of pure, primitive, unpremeditated evil.
@OhShesArtsy They are so cute! They're barely the size of a pinkie nail, so the eensy plankton they're eating look almost like kicked-up silt, but you can see their tiny little snouts shoot out like tiny little pistons and snag them! And they can't really hang onto anything at that age, so it's just this constantly recirculating mass of baby seahorses bobbing their baby seahorse heads.
@SarahP It took me a minute to parse what you meant, because I read "tanks" as being short for "tank tops," and I was like "WHAT I WILL WEAR CLOTHING WITH JELLYFISH ON IT WHERE." Obviously my brain is just waiting for the bargain-bin post.
@wharrgarbl That is so, so adorable.
@figwiggin I have a jellyfish shirt! It's the best. I <3 jellyfish, except for maybe the stinging ones, although all of my stings have been really mild.
@figwiggin I would totally wear jellyfish-related clothing. Someone make a jellyfish tank top and then I WILL PAY YOU FOR IT.
@Third Wave Housewife Moon jellies, like the one above, don't sting! There are tons of them visible near my work in the summer and I love them. I got to touch one! It was dead, maybe that doesn't count.
I don't think I'm cool with owning any though.
@wharrgarbl BABY SEAHORSES OMG . I squealed.
@OhShesArtsy If you're still interested! Jellyfish (prints) for you! xx
you got some serious thrill issues dude ... taking on the jellies!!!
@redheadedandcrazy But it looks like it has a little egg in its head! Awww, how can something with an eggy head be dangerous?
@spoondisaster ... so we're cheating death now, we're cheating death and we're having fun at the same time, i can do this ...
you can't touch the tentacles! only the tops!
something about tentacles, ok got it
not SOMETHING about them ITS ALL ABOUT THEM!
@tortietabbie Haha, so glad you noticed ;)
Just wondering: does anyone read the linked-article? Attack of the BLOBS? The jellyfish sea-world-takeover?
@tortietabbie I am so glad someone actually mentioned the jellyfish egghead thing because it was freaking me out so hard. o-o
@Natalie Eve http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Environmental_impact_of_shipping#Ballast_water
@SheWhoReadsInSkirts @tortietabbie Hahaaa! Love that you noticed the little egg:) I also think it's a bit like a see-through hat (with a fried egg in it). And like a snow-globe, and a 1950s alien-thing with one weird eye and a mouth. Also, possibly a brain-eating amoeba. But I still love the jellyfish!
@Natalie Eve There's...an article?
@wharrgarbl Ahhh, THE SEA WALNUTS!!!
@tortietabbie Surprise! (Yes, always!)
@redheadedandcrazy This type of jellyfish is totally safe and adorable!
Ahh I love jellyfish!
(even tho I come from the land of the deadly box jellyfish and also I am allergic to the sting)
I love them behind plexiglas, is what I'm saying.
HE SHALL BE SQUISHY AND HE SHALL BE MINE AND HE SHALL BE MY SQUISHY
Natalie! I made the booodseees and they were great! Thank you for deliciousness. And thank you for not including jellyfish in the recipe, I wouldn't know where to get any.
@highfivesforall Yaaaay!!! I love it, I'm so glad, you're totally welcome. More next week, if my baby permits it ;) Not booodseees, but hopefully also delicious.
@highfivesforall (And absolutely jellyfish-free, yes -- I am not pro-eating bioluminescent anything, ever!)
OMG JELLYFISH! They are so rad to look at! (I think cuttlefish are still more amazing, but you don't really get like a SWARM of them do you? DO YOU? BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE AMAZING)
also they are't so sentient, so I don't feel bad about eating (tasty) jellyfish.
Buuuut, since we're talking about rad/impractical water pets...did any of you guys read about the guy who had an accidental octopus pet? I confess my room got really dusty as I read that thing.
@figwiggin @SarahP @wharrgarbl -- You asked, and fashion week answered! Under the sea clothing, coming soon... http://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/news-features/TMG9066799/Designers-dive-into-the-deep-blue-sea-for-springsummer-2012.html
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