Hey, you've got a body! Now, about this body you've got — how's it doing? Have you ever thought, "I would like ask a question or learn more about something going on with this body?"
Yes? Yes! As the new Secretary of Health I will do this for you SO HAPPILY. Care and feeding of the heart/vagina is a specialty: IUDs? UTIs? And what about regular health, the kind that happens to the rest of your body? Psych stuff? Booze and drugs safety or — more directly — mastery? It's all up to you, readers. Health Secretary is for the people. Please leave a comment or send questions by email: lola@thehairpin.com.
Lola McClure is a registered nurse well on her way to becoming Dr. Queer, Medicine Woman. Do you have a health question for her? (Important disclaimer: Reading the Hairpin is not a substitute for the advice of a medical professional. Go see a doctor — it's bleeding!)
Image borrowed gratefully from New View of a Woman's Body.
That alt-text!
@olivebee I know!
@olivebee Well, I hadn't planned on attending any 'pinups...
@olivebee I am a 29 years old nurse, young and beautiful. Now I am see;king a gentle man who can give me the real love, so I joined BillionaireFriends.COMit's the first and best cl;ub for billion;aires to interact with others and make friends.
@joewhite SPAM!!!!
@Trilby Spam spam spammity spam!
That woman on the left has got some GIGANTIC hair. Seriously huge.
@The Lady of Shalott
And she's totally looking at the middle lady's vagina and thinking, "Yeah, I've seen better."
@Mary McKenna@facebook It looks like the lady with the vagina on display is holding a tiny ice cream cone. And people are weirded out.
@feartie The black lady looks like she's faintly disturbed by what she's seeing. What's DOWN there? The lady in the back looks like she's going "Is that all there is?"
Yes, the lady in the back is definitely the matriarch, and she looks concerned.
@The Lady of Shalott And that's just on the top (rimshot!)
@The Lady of Shalott -Could it be that Laura Dern is getting a special piercing?
"Dr. Queer, Medicine Woman" Yesss.
I just got an IBS diagnosis after testing negative for Coeliac. I'm hungry and I don't know what the hell to eat! Any help on this would be much appreciated. Sources on the internet seem to contradict what will be tolerated by the hideous demon in my digestive system.
@feartie Oh wow, this is exactly my deal too. So far I'm ignoring all advice, contradictory or not. Apparently this isn't ideal. Please help!
@feartie me too me too! oh, the gas!
@feartie I got an ulcerative colitis diagnosis about a year and a half ago. The doctor said that food doesn't really have a lot to do with it. But I've noticed that I should limit carbonated beverages, including beer.
@RocketSurgeon That's definitely something I've seen a lot of support for, giving up fizziness. Which suits me fine, as I can't drink carbonated drinks (it burrrrns! Though I've never met anyone who has the same deal).
@RocketSurgeon I think food doesn't have a lot to do with in that doctors can't actually tell you what foods trigger symptoms. I have UC also (which is sometimes similar to IBS except worse times a million) and I stay away from beer. No idea what it is about beer that's so bad. It has generally been trial and error in terms of food, which is a drag.
@feartie Yes! A poop issues related column!
@feartie So, I had IBS a few years ago. Not a terribly extreme case but a lot of discomfort, irregular poops that oscillated from one end of the density spectrum to the other without rhyme nor reason, and a constantly distended tummy. Oh, and the gas. I got diagnosed and was faced with how little conventional medicine actually knows about causes and treatments.
So basically - TCM. An 8 week course of acupuncture and cryptic little pellets, plus 3 months of giving up all the wheat, sugar, dairy, alcohol and caffeine that formed the core of my diet and I was heaps better.
FYI sugar was the hardest to quit. so addictive.
Ask around to find a reputable practitioner of TCM, if you're into it, and good luck!
@feartie Me toooo. Even the 'specialist' was like 'Ah well, you'll have it forever, here are some anti-cramp pills', then I cried in his office.
I did an alternative nutritionist diet minus yeast and sugar and with supplements that made it a bit better.
Onions/garlic/anything fizzy/chili/spice/dairy/anything too fibrous means I bloat up like crazy though, but it's different for every person. Some people find more fibre helps.
@feartie OOH I can actually help with this! I have moderate to severe IBS that was officially diagnosed about four years ago (I.e. I knew I had it but had to make sure it wasn't something else). It recently got a ton worse, like 2-3 episodes a day, so I started researching a lot on my own, since my gastroenterologist's only suggestion was "take this miralax!" I found something called the low FODMAP diet, which is based around an intolerance for large amounts of certain carbs, and it's working brilliantly so far. You can eat lots! Check it out!
@Nutellaface Sounds like a good lead, but corn is on the low FODMAPS list, according to about.com and maaan, that stuff does not like me. I once made a Nigella Lawson corn frittata that caused me to roll about on the floor in pain because of the swelling. Good thing I had room.
I think FODMAPS might help if I talk to a dietitian or make a food diary or something. I also have a friend with Crohns who knows a bit of what works and what doesn't. It's so helpful to hear other people's responses though. I tried looking for IBS food blogs (recipes and nice chat, such as is to be found in the GF sphere). Nothing doing.
@ohsweet I made an account specifically 'cause I saw other UC ladies. Have you noticed other alcohol having an effect or is beer your worst? I can't tell if it's my weekly-ish cocktail drinking or the sort of shady foods I want to eat after that put me in a bad way. I have found, and this sounds so stupid, that getting stoned is a huge help for calming down my stomach/giving me an appetite. I tried to find some peer-reviewed literature on it but it's mostly inconclusive. Either way, it seems to work for me.
I do really hate the trial and error though.
@feartie I definitely didn't mean to imply that the low-FODMAPS was the be all end all. I definitely have other sensitivities, but I immediately recognized several things on the list as foods I have problems with. Corn is huge for a lot of people. Also, I'm not so sure about the particular list you were looking at; I seem to recall seeing some errors on that one. Good luck, IBS friend!
@feartie and @RocketSurgeon - I don't eat gluten/wheat, do not know if I am coeliac. But I also don't drink soft drinks (fizzy drinks) much because it is uncomfy in my stomach, and also they burn! :I: thought it was just :me:!
Also if you are in the working out what to eat stage, you could start by eliminating dairy and wheat, or go for a full start from scratch eating only pears and carrots type diet. Best of luck, I really relate to being hungry and not knowing what the hell to eat. It's awesome not being tired/sick all the time and not knowing why, though, I promise it will get better once you find some things to eat!
@gravybean Besides beer, I usually have trouble with red wine. Hard liquor is totally fine, though. I've wondered about weed, but I haven't smoked in years and figure I probably won't in the future. But I can see how it could possibly ease that crampy sore gut feeling. It's probably treated the same as cigarette smoking (ie research doesn't actually endorse smoking/not quitting and Drs have to tell you to stop smoking, but the general consensus among people with UC is that if you quit smoking, your colon will probably go haywire). Also, it takes so much self-control to not indulge in terrible drunk food when it's late and I'm hungry and wasted. It never ends well. I just pound water and watch people eat pizza.
@narwhalsandwich Digestive enzymes + yogurt with lots of probiotics generally is the only thing keeping me from gassy agony.
@feartie I have had some weeeeeird digestive issues going on for the last three years... Sometimes I seem to be gluten/dairy intolerant for a few months, sometimes just one of the two, etc. Basically, I just eat what I feel like my body will tolerate at the time. Sometimes I feel like I can eat wheat, and it's fine. Sometimes I feel like I should just eat veggies and fruits for a few days, so I do that. What I'm saying is... Listen to your body! It will likely take some trial and error. Sometimes, hard and fast rules don't really work. Not sure if it's the case for you, but it is for my digestive issues. Not sure if this helps...
@feartie
You've probably already considered this but apparently stress is one of the main reasons (sometimes more than the foods you eat) for feeling bad. So avoid stress! (which is in itself stressful. boo!)
Also if you can, try to eat at the same time each day and dont go too long without food (hurrah) and dairy is EVIL.
@feartie Ooh, I have some mild IBS that I'm not treating particularly conscientiously because I love garlic and onions and spicy food too much, but try eating a lot more sweet potatoes and avocados! They're good for IBS, delicious, and nutritious!
But yeah, also avoid stress if possible! I've been using my twitchy colon as an excuse to go "whaaaaaaateeeeeeeeevs" every time something stressful happens, and go watch some Golden Girls reruns instead.
@werewolfbarmitzvah @teaandcakeordeath
But stress is my main motivator! This will be hard. The IBS stuff first came and hit me hard when I was in the midst of doing a PhD, so it makes sense. But I don't get anything done if I'm not a bit feartie of it not getting done, what people will think oh no world ruination (hence my name).
Hmmm Seems like I need to take up some kind of stress-relieving hobby/tv series. If only I could knit. Ach, probably would start stressing myself out about lengths and speed of sock creation and so on anyway. TV shows then!
@feartie
Telling someone to avoid stress is just horribly futile. But yes, think of ways to be nice to yourself and you'll be happier!
I get annoyed as I dont think knitting should be as hard as it is. Grr.
@feartie I have Crohn's disease which is an auto-immune condition where your immune system attacks your digestive system producing effects similar to and far worse than IBS. I had to have eight inches of small intestine cut out of me so that my failing body didn't kill me. For people with auto-immune conditions there is a long list of medications they can take but diet is always a component. And, among those suffering Crohn's and similar inflammatory bowel diseases there are huge variations in what foods are well tolerated. Though most people would advocate no-gluten, no-sugar type diets, it is really up to you to figure out what you are best avoiding and what you can go without. Almost everyone I've talked to (patients and doctors) seem to agree that probiotics are a good idea. There are various strengths of probiotics but just going to the local health food store and asking for a recommendation is a good first step if you don't take these already. I personally take VSL #3 which is the equivalent of taking vicodin compare to the tylenol of off the self probiotics. But, it's all trial and error though. Ignore whatever popular vitamin and food trends are out there and just listen to your body.
@Lady is a Tramp Thanks for the helpful advice. A good friend of mine has Crohn's and I have seen her struggle with it (even with her robust sense of humour) for years. I'm sorry your illness progressed to that stage, and hope you are feeling better for the operation now.
@feartie & everyone else: thank you for shouting out. poop is now on the list! suppose you could now term it a shitlist! but that's not how i feel about it!
@feartie Just do FOODMAPS without the corn. My personal opinion after many, many years and many, many doctors is that everyone's IBS is different, and there's no one size fits all treatment. I have pretty much followed the FOODMAPS diet, but like you, corn does not agree with me. I've also noticed that sugar free gum and dairy are not my bag, so I try to limit those, too. Also, I've found that those ginormous probiotic pills are helpful during the weird week-long gassy flare ups I get, but that if I keep taking them every day, my body becomes immune to their charms.
I would like to know about various kinds of pills/herbs/whatevers to help maintain maximum thumbs up vaginal flora slash fauna.
ps. OMG HAI!
@Kelly McClure@facebook cultures, cultures, cultures! Yogurt, kombucha, anything fermented!
if you have recurring yeasties you probably need to go off sugar completely for awhile. Like not even fruit juice. I know 2 ladies who could not cure their yeast infections with all the medical science pills on the earth, then finally went off sugar and are HEALED.
@Kelly McClure@facebook Tell me more about this fauna.
@Kelly McClure@facebook Rampant, incurable vadge deer. Pubic hedgehogs. Labial lemur infestation. Taint tapirs.
@christonacracker Perineal pangolins?
@annepersand Those are the most uncomfortable of all.
@christonacracker Pelvic pronghorns.
Oh this seems like a good idea! Except, yes, also go to the doctor.
P.S. Is... is she holding a flashlight? What is going on? What is this picture I don't even.
@iceberg Just some friends, sitting around, doing what friends do.
@iceberg Yeah, is she giving birth? Holding a detached penis? Staring, along with the other women, at a newborn who is lying on linoleum staring back? Why aren't they thinking of the child(ren)??
@iceberg My guess is that they're doing the flashlight/mirror/vagina thing except they're all inspecting the vag. Strange.
@iceberg Yeah, they're all being Empowered by looking at each other's vages in handmirrors.
I watched 'Date Night' with my sister, and I lost it at the bit in the outtakes where Tina Fey is improvising and says 'That's great Jeremy, but I have to go home and look at my vagina in a hand mirror'. And then I had to explain to my sister that that was a thing that ladies did. In groups. For Knowledge and Empowerment. She was not impressed but seriously, you should know what it looks like! For better sex and also for what if it's feeling weird and you look at it and you can't tell if it's always that colour/etc or not?
Guys. What I'm saying is, go get a flashlight and look at your vagina in a mirror.
@Craftastrophies Or better yet, take it a step further...
Nurse! What is up with Spironolactone taking so damn long to fix my adult acne? After three months, my skin is ten times worse.
@vanillawaif No shit. I guess it just doesn't work for everyone. I was on it for three months before demanding to go on antibiotics instead.
@vanillawaif No shit. I guess it just doesn't work for everyone. I was on it for three months before demanding to go on antibiotics instead.
@missedconnections Maybe my doctor misunderstood me and thought I wanted MORE acne?
On a positive note: I work for a doc (but am not a nurse) and I always take a quick peek at the medical history so I can jot down any medical/latex allergies on the outside of the chart. I saw that a recent patient is on Spiro and noticed that her skin was a-okay. I took the risk of having her think I'm a nosy juicebox and asked her how long she'd been on the meds. She said, "Eight months...but it took FOREVER to work. It's for acne!" and then I told her my story and we nodded very seriously at one another, as we are People Who Understand About Acne.
This is a really great idea!
Is that a sketch drawing of Laura Dern giving birth? Congratulations, Laura Dern!
@HeyThatsMyBike
That's it! I've been squinting at that drawing and you have solved this for me: it is Laura Dern, surrounded by the non-puppet women of Sesame Street.
@City_Dater I think you might be right. Luis and Gordon are definitely lurking in the background waiting to give helpful advice and support (this post sponsored by the letter V)
@City_Dater Laura Dern and Maria have always been close.
I know I should send the email but maybe 'pinners can weigh in? I'm sick right now; would this have been prevented by a flu shot? For unknown reasons (general bad vibes) I never get them. Yay or nay?
@nevernude cutoffs I got the flu shot for the first time ever in October and then in December got the worst flu of my life. Summary: fuck you, flu shot.
@nevernude cutoffs Um, do you have the Actual Flu? If yes, maybe the shot would have prevented it. If not, then no.
@nevernude cutoffs I got the flu shot last year for the first time since childhood and I got "the flu" from it. I put that in quotes because it's not actually the flu, just flu symptoms. Apparently this happens to some people after getting the shot. Ugh, never again.
@olivebee Same thing happened to me. The baby flu annoyed me more than the real flu.
@nevernude cutoffs No, no! Flu shots for everyone! My best friend died of pneumonia complications resulting from getting the flu. :(
@nevernude cutoffs Well, do you have the flu or do you have a cold? I've gotten the flu shot every year since getting the swine flu and being miserable for three weeks, and I haven't had the flu since. Colds, yes, but the flu is not something to screw with. Also, if you're ever around the elderly or small children, flu shots are a very very good idea.
@Lily Rowan Honestly, I thought it was supposed to prevent against flu symptoms and colds, so I guess I'm just not informed about it. I didn't know it was specifically for an Actual Flu.
@figwiggin I am so sorry about that, that's terrible. :(
@nevernude cutoffs Yes! I actually think this would be a great thing for A Nurse to address! The flu is a real set of diseases and the flu shot prevents some of them. Not bad colds, etc.
@nevernude cutoffs One of the reasons why the flu shot is so recommended is because the elderly and small children and seriously sick people can't get the shot, but the flu can kill them. So healthy people should get the shot so they don't pass the flu on to someone for whom it will be much worse.
@nevernude cutoffs The flu shot is several flu virus strains that the CDC anticipates will be common in a given year - but there are so many flu strains they couldn't feasibly vaccinate you for all of them
http://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/qa/flushot.htm#whydo
@nevernude cutoffs ugh, I haven't gotten a flu shot in years, and never thought it was a big deal because my immune system and lung health are great, but my boyfriend has asthma and developed walking pneumonia from a bad cold a few years ago and he absolutely refuses to get a flu shot, and I feel like I ought to get one so I'm less likely to pass it on to him. But also I haven't gotten a shot of any kind in years, and I'm irrationally worried about it. Pinners, reassure me that I just pop into walgreens and feel a little pinch and then go home secure in the knowledge that I can offer my stupid stubborn boyfriend herd immunity/a good example? I know I might develop mild flu symptoms, but that's not what worries me. I have never had trouble with needles or pain at doctor's appointments but somehow I keep overthinking the flu shot and then it's February and flu season is nearly over anyway.
@Lorelei@twitter It's not bad! At least, I've always gotten the flu shot (and am extra-sure to get it now), and it's a poke and a sore arm for a few days and you're done. Maybe some achiness.
@Lorelei@twitter I swear to you that the flu shot is SO easy. Like, a little pinprick, and I do not like needles. For people who really hate shots though (like my sister) you can also get a nasal mist version of the flu vaccine. I do not know if there's a different price point on that one, but either is free with my insurance, fyi. But seriously, the flu shot is over before you know it. I didn't even have a sore arm or achiness afterward.
@figwiggin I'm so sorry. ::hugs::
On the other side of the get-a-flu-shot-or-not debate, I work in a hospital and have a chronic illness, so I get my (free, work-provided) shot every year. It is, for what it's worth, super easy. Are you allergic to eggs, no, okay, roll up your sleeve, little pinch, done. And this year I came down with something that I am almost sure was the start of the flu- sneezing, coughing, body aches, high fever. So I took the day off work and went to bed sick as a dog- like, moaning, shivering, Jesus take the wheel sick. Annnnnnnnnd then I woke up the next day much better, and was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready for work on Tuesday (this was over MLK weekend). I would bet cash money that I got the start of the flu, and my vaccine jumped up and kicked it in the ass. So go, flu vaccine.
I just want to say to everyone, HERD. IMMUNITY. It is not just about you, it is about TEH ERRBODY. I will leave it at that before I turn into a raging asshole.
@miwome /errrybody... thanks y'all, appreciate the advice. Not working around kids/elderly it's never really been an issue for me, but I think I'll get one from now on! See? Making people better people, that's what the hairpin does.
@nevernude cutoffs Hurray! Go you!
@figwiggin Amendment: Flu shots for everyone except folks with some ambiguous allergy to something that is not eggs! Getting taken to the ER because your throat is slowly closing up, your voice sounds like Minnie Mouse, and you cannot feel your lips is NOT fun.
I just sent an incredibly long email to the Medicine Woman about night sweats and do I have menopause or am I dying (or both). I really hope she answers it, for the sake of my mattress if nothing else.
This is a BRILLIANT idea for a column. Just the other day I was thinking "I wish the Hairpin would have an 'Ask A Doctor Type Lady' column." The universe heard my plea!
@dracula's ghost OMG night sweats! I am a fucking FURNACE at night. I could heat an entire building while sleeping. I can't wait to see the response you get because I, too, want to know why I get so hot and sweaty in my sleep!
@dracula's ghost OMG ME TOO. Please answer this, Lola! I'm too disgusting for words over here. I go to sleep SO COLD and then I wake up in a sweat soup.
@dracula's ghost & everyone else--is this a new thing or something that's always happened? if it's fairly recent, & you have any reason to suspect you might have some kind of underlying infection/illness, it could be a signal that something's seriously wrong, & you should probably see a doctor. (not to be alarmist, but...well, I had a ruptured appendix I didn't know about for way too long, & night sweats were one of the symptoms I ignorantly ignored.)
but if it's been an ongoing thing & nothing else is awry with your body, then please disregard. I get hot in my sleep even when I'm not filled with disease, so I can relate to that too. :)
@dracula's ghost Here's an oddball question (hopefully not too personal): are you taking any antidepressants, such as an SSRI or Wellbutrin? Those have been linked to night sweats.
@parallel-lines no antidepressants, no pills of any kind! No other health problems. Have had them off and on for years, but now they are really ramping up and I'm having them every single night for 2 weeks before my period. Month after month! WHY
my night sweats have nothing to do with heat, that I can tell. I think they are part of a dark 2-week-long PMS hormonal cycle.
currently taking: black cohosh, maca root, ginger, evening primrose, in an effort to regulate.
?!
as far as problems go, it's better than being eaten by a shark, but not much better.
@nonvolleyball As far as I can tell this has always happened? I think? I don't know. It just now started to really bother me because I refuse to pay enough to properly heat my house. I go to bed bundled up and end up having to strip off sweaty layers all night.
(oh god, I'm so gross)
@dracula's ghost Ah, now were getting somewhere. It sounds like you're getting them right around when you ovulate, during which there's a spike in basal body temp (see chart here http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/progesterone.html), which might explain night sweats. If you're super worried about it you could talk to your gyn and have your hormone levels checked.
@parallel-lines Classic American Problem: Although I am currently a COLLEGE PROFESSOR, I have no health insurance, thus no gyno.
Land of the free!
@dracula's ghost I hear Americans talk about 'my gyno' all the time. Is this a thing? Should I have a gyno the same way I have a dentist (having a dentist only happened last year). Am I not a grownup?
@dracula's ghost One thing I would suggest is to try a wool mattress pad. They are expensive but in my opinion, so worth it.
This is not really akin to going through menopause, but my boyfriend is a really warm sleeper and it was getting to the point that we had to wash the sheets almost every day because he was waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat (I have a Tempur Pedic mattress and those sleep warmer than most mattresses). Wool sounds totally counterintuitive, but it's supposed to keep you warm in the winter and cool in the summer. It changed our lives the first night we used it, not one more night sweating episode since.
Of course he's not getting hot flashes, so your mileage may vary. The ones made by SnugFleece have a 30 day money back guarantee, though I don't know how difficult it is to return it if you don't like it.
@dracula's ghost I had been using a duvet for years and never had them. So I did not think that was the problem. I switched to a quilt and they stopped. Might not have been the cause but it helped.
@Craftastrophies I know. I'm a Brit and don't 'have a gyno'. But I do have a GP practice, where I can get regular smear tests, prescription for contraceptives, advice on the menopause, referral on to a specialist if I need it etc - maybe these kinds of services are just organised differently in the US?
@dracula's ghost I'm in my late 40s and am definitely headed into the menopause, and I love the hot flushes - it's the first time in my life I've been warm!
@dracula's ghost Aren't you glad you got a Ph.D.?
Nurses kick ass. My mom and half my relatives work in the nursing field and it's hard, hard work. I truly could not do it. Lola, thanks for doing what you do.
@andrea disaster "Being a nurse is easy! You just show up to work and heal people!" -leslie knope
@dotcommie "Ann, you beautiful tropical fish."
@andrea disaster agreed. nurses are amazing.
@andrea disaster "Hey, Ann, are you still a nurse or did they fire you because you slept with all the doctors?"
(PS - two of my best friends are nurses, and they are two of the most beautiful, amazing, smart, caring women I have ever known. It's like having two real life Anns. I badger them about stupid medical questions all the time, haha, sorry nurse friends! I don't have insurance!)
@andrea disaster aauugghhh omg I am studying to be a nurse (4 year BSN) and this whole thing makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :)
@emilylouise haha, I do the same thing to my bff nurse. I usually preface it with "i'm not asking you because you're a nurse, but because you're my best friend whose opinion I would be seeking regardless of your profession, BUUUUUUT......"
@andrea disaster gaww thank you guys. and keep on bugging nurses with your clinical questions, we secretly love it.
And I LOVE this column idea, by the way.
Dr. Queer Medicine Woman?! YES
@Ka$hleen I think that's my favorite thing I've ever read.
A New View of a Woman's Body!! I used to buy copies of that for ladyfriends in high school. Consciousnesses were raised, I liked to think.
HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO, NURSE!
Nurse! Let me ask you about becoming a nurse! I have a degree and I'm working towards knocking out the prerequisites for an accelerated second degree BA. I've got a big fat N-O from my first choice school and it's not looking hopeful for my second choice school (I'd only applied to public schools because I don't think I can afford private), so I'm having a bit of a crisis of confidence here. I have a lot of medical experience from waaaaaay back and was going for a BSN because I want to do NP directly after but I'm worried I won't be able to get into a program. Do you have any recommendations on how I can make myself a stronger candidate - like, where should I focus if I volunteer, what are program directors looking for (aside from grades - mine are just okay), and what are the sort of next-steps in the future of nursing? I'm really trying to round myself out so when I apply again I'm a stronger candidate.
(sorry, this sounded like a brown-nosy college essay)
@parallel-lines
I would also like to hear about becoming a nurse, especially after graduating college with degrees in the social sciences. A friend wants to know.
@Diana I feel like we need a whole column of..."So, you graduated with a liberal arts degree? How to rectify that mistake."
Chiming in to say that I am also taking pre-requisites to apply to a nursing program, specifically an alternate-entry Nurse Practitioner program (I have a BA, so I can skip getting a BSN for certain programs). I'd love insight on this sort of thing!
@parallelie For what it's worth, I know that even at my local community college nursing school, there are so many applicants that you have to have AWESOME grades to avoid being wait-listed/turned away. Like, almost all A's. Maybe that is what is happening with you?
@wee_ramekin It's such a bummer. I'm going to start volunteering once a week soon to boost my resume, but aside from that (I've only got a couple of non-A grades) I'm at a loss here!
@nyikin YES. Please help :(
@parallel-lines Hey! I'm a nurse! But not a nurse in anything useful for 'Pinners (neurology and neurosurgery). Still, do you mind if I give this a shot? Thanks.
Unfortunately, most nursing schools, especially those with BA-to-BSN programs, want really good grades. Failing that, you can try the following:
1. Get a job in healthcare, preferably in direct patient care. You could be a patient care aide, for instance, which would help a lot. If you could find somebody to mentor you within the bounds of your state's nursing practice act and the rules of the facility, even better. Try to work in a hospital or clinic rather than in, say, a nursing home. You want a lot of variety.
2. Volunteer in healthcare. There are a number of local groups that do things like diabetes education, wellness booths, and sexual health education that can take on well-spoken volunteers and train them. Again: variety. If you can work with a wide spectrum of socioeconomic groups and in a wide range of places, you'll look better on paper.
3. Get your grades UP. If it means re-taking core classes at a community college over the summer to knock lower grades off your transcript, do it. There are so many applicants and so few places that programs can and do cherry-pick.
4. Consider community college associate's degree programs. I'm in Texas, so the ADN track is where you go to be a bedside nurse; BSNs are often more focused on theory and management. Because of that, there are a LOT of programs where you can go ADN to BSN or even ADN/BA to NP. Plus, they're generally cheaper, there's a tighter focus on basic nursing education, pathology, and technology, and they take less time.
5. Probably most importantly, be aware of how you present yourself in interviews. Program directors are well aware that their accellerated programs/two year tracks are some of the toughest work their students will ever do. It's like drinking from a firehose. For that reason, they're looking for calm, stable, *determined* people (my mom calls that "cut-in") who will make it to the end of the program. If you can play up previous non-medical professional experience where you've managed groups of people, solved interpersonal problems, and handled crises, DO EEET.
6. Good luck! (And good luck, wee_ramekin!) We need more people who have done more than just nursing in their careers.
@Mingus_Thurber Thank you! This is super helpful! I have a ton of direct patient experience (5 years CNA/3 surgical asst) but they're old so I'm definitely going to do the volunteer thing. I wish I was in a position I could quit my job and go back to school for a semester to re-take all those nagging less than awesome prereq grades but I can't quit my job right now and I've been knocking them down one by one since 2006 (ouch). Hopefully in the next round of applications the volunteering will put me up another tier so I can get in - I probably will end up applying to nonaccelerated programs (even though it's not what I want since I can't afford to be out of work that long) as a safety net. I'm gonna give it one more round before I go associates (also not what I want - looking more for management since that works better with my current prof experience) because it doesn't make sense to do associates after a BA and then do BSN and RN but we'll see.
@Mingus_Thurber As a 'Pinner with aphasia and as-yet-undiagnosed severe tremors, I for one would be totally down with an "ask a neurology nurse" column! :)
@parallel-lines Fun statistic! 54,000 nursing applicants were turned away in a year due to limited clinical placements, lack of faculty, and limited classroom space. (Thanks, public health classes!)
@Nina B.@twitter EEK. And sigh!
@parallel-lines I did an ADN after a BA. If I wanted to, I could finish an NP in 18 months (no thanks; I like the bedside) in one of the ADN-to-NP programs out there--no prerequisites! Don't count ADN programs out, or even put them last on your list: a lot of ADN programs have much higher reputations among HR people in hospitals than BSN programs in the same geographical areas.
Also, and this is nosey-parkering too-much-advice stuff, but if you want to get an NP, do a year or two of critical or acute care first. Otherwise, 1) the coursework won't make as much sense, and 2) you won't get hired anywhere. Also, you won't be able to get into a program without clinical experience: that I can damn-near-guarantee. Look for a good, tough ICU internship and suck up to 'em like crazy.
@Mingus_Thurber Not nosey parkering - I don't know why it never occurred to me that I could ADN to NP, and I wasn't aware of the ICU thing either so this is super helpful, thank you!
"Go see a doctor — it's bleeding!" Hahahahaha I love that. :-D
Lola! This is great. I want to echo everyone else who has mentioned that being a nurse is hard work and very often thankless. So: Thank you!
Ahh, this is great. I should write an email asking whether I should actually go see a therapist or if I just need to get over myself.
@figwiggin Therapy is always the answer!
@figwiggin See a therapist! It's great.
@figwiggin Dude. Just go see a therapist. Especially if you can get it covered by insurance (or you can afford to pay for it without draining your bank account). I was always like, "ugh, what is the point of therapy, how will complaining to a stranger magically make me feel better?" The answer is, "I don't know, but it does, sort of?" I mean, I've only been to two sessions so far, but I'm already enjoying having a neutral third party dumping ground for all of my stupid emotional problems.
@figwiggin This also is my question forever. Am I screwing up my life because I am sad or am I being an over-dramatic asshole, and why don't I know, and how do I find out? And how do I stop?
Yes to therapy! It has such a stigma attached but it is SO GOOD. In college, I went to my university's free women's center therapy thing (you see a social work/psychology grad student once a week for free therapy), and I was just devastated when she graduated and went to work in the real world. She was basically a neutral-party listener who didn't judge me no matter what I talked about (and was very sweet, as well). And it didn't fully hit me till she left at how much talking to her once a week had helped me.
@figwiggin Definitely go!! My first session with my therapist started with me saying "I don't even know if I need therapy, so tell me what you think"... That right there was all she needed to hear to know that therapy would do me good.. and after 10 sessions, I'm happier than ever.
@Saaoirse @figwiggin You find out by talking to a therapist, amazingly! It is really useful for me even when I'm not mid-depressive episode to have someone to talk to who is not biased on account of being related to me or a friend. They will probably not call you an asshole, but.
@figwiggin Yes therapy yes yes! And if the first one you see sucks, DO NOT GIVE UP! There are a million therapists who are awesome at listening and also talking and also take your insurance. I promise.
@everyone Thanks, guys! I have no issue with the stigma of therapy; my family is genetically predisposed to depression and anxiety and all kinds of fun things, so I've seen it all over the place with my immediate family. I guess my worry is more like @Saaoirse, in that I kind of feel like an asshole. (For the record, I'm sure YOU'RE not an overdramatic asshole, @Saaoirse.) I look at the people in my family with depression so bad that they can't move for days, or anxiety that needs medication, and I feel like I'm just being a whiny baby because while I have issues, I'm still mostly functional.
YAY therapy! It's nice to pay someone to listen to you sometimes, even if you don't do any "work" other than that...
@figwiggin I honestly think everyone should go to therapy at least some point in their lives. Seriously, it's amazing! After going weekly for 2 1/2 years, I ended up not only learning how to deal with problems in my life much better, and also was able to figure out why I deal with things the way I do and being much better at confronting my problems and communicating with others. I go less regularly now, but it's good to have a mental health check up every now and then. I completely agree with @ohsweet, it may take some time to find the right fit, but there's some professional out there who wants to help you work through your problems! Good luck.
@figwiggin Oh HoneypieFigmuffin, hush. You go git you some therapy! Just because your issues aren't as bad as someone else's doesn't mean you don't need or deserve help for them! That's like saying that women in America shouldn't be upset about cat-calling BECAUSE WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT AT LEAST YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR A BURQA.
If you're having issues, you get to deal with them and no one gets to make you feel bad about it. You do you, darlin'. It's not going to negatively affect depressive family members if you get help with your ish-es.
Also, I love you!
[Also, go read this. It will make you feel happy feelings!]
yeah therapy really is the best. i need to go for a booster session i think.
as for the whole "are my problems important enough?" I used to think this until I remembered that I was paying this person my money. If they are receiving your money, they will (should) listen to your problems and they will (should) treat them with respect.
Besides, if everybody were in therapy then we'd all be perfectly self-actualized individuals and there would never be conflict ever again~! *_*
eta: self-actualized? or just actualized? oh whatever its a fucking pretentious word anyway. y'all know what i mean.
@redheaded&crazy If there's one thing I learned from the Princess Diaries series, it's that it's self-actualization, and that it's very important for teenage princesses (which we all obviously are).
@wee_ramekin I am sitting here trying not to sniffle loudly at my desk. I love you too, you sweet ramekin you, and I'm going to leave this comment at its sappiest and not bookend it with a joke. I'm going to read that after work because it looks fantastic, and thank you.
What everyone's said is so true, and probably what I would have happily and confidently told anybody else in my position. I'm going to look into what's covered by my insurance and get myself therap'd.
@figwiggin Everyone in this thread is so helpful and nice.
@Infinite Jess This thread has made me happy! @everyone, I heart all of you.
@figwiggin Therapy is great. I went after my dad died, to help with dealing with my mother. Most of the things she said were things I already knew, but I was surprised at how much it helped to have someone who specialised in those things tell me I was doing ok. She also gave me practical tips on how to deal with stuff, which was so amazing. I only went twice and that was enough for then, but I need to find someone I can go to if I need them again, because it's good to have backup.
I think about it like the dentist. You might not need a root canal, but you should still get a checkup and a clean, and some preventative caps or whatever it is you need. Don't feel selfish for taking good care of yourself! You deserve to be taken care of, and you deserve as many people on your side as you can get, including qualified professionals.
@redheaded&crazy right. You don't have to have mental health issue to benefit from some soul searching and thought sifting, I think. Emotional continence for everyone!
Did I tell you about the dream I had that I was trapped inside a plywood Maslow's triangle? I woke up shouting 'But I don't want to self actualise! I don't want to self actualise! You can't make me, I don't want to self actualise!!'
@figwiggin So, I used to feel exactly like you feel. I spent YEARS in therapy being like, "Well, I don't really eat, or sleep, and I send out distress signals to my parents which they totally miss, and I feel deeply isolated and anxious and sad, and maybe my self-deprivation of energy sources has caused me to take a wee nap or two at work, but come on, man, there are people STARVING OUT THERE." Which, yes, there ARE people starving out there. But that doesn't mean I have to accept not feeling as okay/happy/content as I could be.
Long story short, it turns out I had undiagnosed bipolar disorder! And after lots and lots of therapy and getting some meds, I am infinitely better.
Let me try putting this one other way and then I'll stop: your accepting your own unhappiness won't make any of the people you're hurting for feel any better. You're allowed to take care of yourself; it doesn't diminish their suffering, or your caring for them, not one bit.
@miwome THIS: "your accepting your own unhappiness won't make any of the people you're hurting for feel any better. You're allowed to take care of yourself; it doesn't diminish their suffering, or your caring for them, not one bit."
Therapy can help you come up with strategies to deal with your suffering, your insecurities. And when you are more easily able to handle these things, and minimize your suffering, you are better able to help the people you love.
Your therapist won't think you're ridiculous for going to therapy with "no real problems" (that was my hang-up about going for years) - and nobody else in the world has to know you go to therapy! Once you start, you realize there is no need for shame.
i am interested in learning more about drugs mastery?!
Just sent in a question to the effect of: "I am doing everything right. Why am I so tired ALL THE TIME?"
@mackymoo Get a blood panel and check your levels-it might not be the 'aha!' moment but it's a good start.
@mackymoo: Agreed w/ ||(parallel-lines, heh, get it?). Could be abnormally low levels of _____. A friend of mine had the B-vitamin levels of an elderly woman, and she's 27. She gets B-vit shots now. Also, check yo' diet? Exercise regimen? Sleep Apnea? Cat waking you incessantly in the middle of the night, you unaware?
@liznieve @parallel-lines Yeah the B vitamin thing is what I have suspicions about, but I feel like all my other ducks are in a row. (Also I have this terrible fear of actually going to the doctor so I will probably just continue sleeping a lot. Damn it.)
@mackymoo Are you on hormonal birth control? I was on one that went kind of haywire and I ended up with hypersomnia whenever I was PMSing/on my period, so, you know, two weeks out of every month were spent wanting to curl up and hibernate.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I'm not but I definitely have PMDD so I hear ya. It has been getting a lot better though so that's why I think my diet and exercise is more or less satisfactory.
This is great timing, actually, because I have hives. Again. And I can't freaking figure out what is causing them. I've considered all the usual suspects (food, laundry detergent, cosmetics & hair stuff, stress, etc.) but nothing seems to correlate. Is there anything random that I might not otherwise think of that might cause me to be bumpy and itchy?
@armyofskanks Are they in any place in particular, like where your fabric rubs against your skin?
@armyofskanks Me too, like every three months they just appear out of nowhere and I cannot figure out what the hell is going on. I thought about getting a scratch test, but the consensus seems to be that all these tell you is that you are mildly allergic to basically everything.
@armyofskanks The ONLY two times I've ever gotten hives has been after having sex I really regretted. So disturbing to have that specific a correlation. (One of the times it could have been some kind of reaction to Plan B though)
@wallsdonotfall The location varies, actually...this time they're on the sides of my face, but the last two times they were on my thighs, and I've had them on my chest and arms too.
@armyofskanks So I'm not a nurse or any type of medical professional, but if anyone starts getting chronic hives and then finds their face, hands, or feet swelling up, especially the lips--and trust, you'll know it if this happens--please go to the doctor and get things checked out. Especially if it's accompanied by abdominal pain. Chronic angioedema (swelling) and urticaria (hives) can be serious business, if it's an autoimmune problem or an inherited disorder instead of an allergy, and even if it's not swell-your-throat-shut serious, it can still be traumatizing and painful. But it can be controlled! So, you know, don't wait six months like I did last year.
@armyofskanks Cats? Grass? I get terrible hives from grass, and some specific pollens - mostly pollen just makes me sneeze but tigerlily pollen makes me feel like my skin is trying to escape off of my face.
@armyofskanks Hives! So, my personal story, I had them for the first time in my life and they lasted for 4-5 months. I had been on an antibiotic (Minocyclin, for acne) and went off it, then 5 days later the hives started. Turns out the drug also acts as an anti-inflammatory, and people have had rheumatoid arthritis pop up after going off it. I don't! But they did test me, so that's one thing to ask for. Also, thyroid tests (TSH, T3, T4 (not just TSH alone)).
@armyofskanks The next time I got hives, years later, they lasted for 2 months. I did the scratch tests, mild reactions to some grasses, molds, dust mites, and pollen (no big shock, there) but also nickel and thimerosal (mercury). My multivitamin had nickel in it. I stopped taking that (and my Zyrtec, Xyzal, and Singulair (also did two tapered rounds of steroids/Prednisone over those 2 months)) in the week before my scratch test days, to not interfere with the tests. The hives were nearly gone when i went in for the first day, just 1 or 2 clearly defined, flat, red marks on each arm and my torso. They do a scratch of histamine first to make sure you are able to react, and I didn't react! All of the antihistamines I'd been on for weeks, but had not taken for days, were still in my system enough to prevent me from responding to an injection histamine. But for 2 months, taking the meds, I still had nonstop (flat, bright red) hives, when I was also taking the nickel vitamines. It could be something much more deeply rooted than an immediate reaction to a direct contact allergen, is what I'm saying.
@armyofskanks Dang it, also, aspirin and ibuprofen. I didn't often take these. I took them once or twice during each round of hives. Ibuprofen definitely increased the severity, made them spread to my face. Once during the second round I took aspirin, and maybe something weird like ginseng, and my face blew up. Like Will Smith in "Hitch. Or: old lady in the wheelchair at the doctors office complex staring at you because you have lost the definition around your eyelids. There seems to be an anti-inflammatory or blood thinner theme with my story, but also the nickel vitamins. So, I guess, you've tested the immediate cause-and-effect theories so far, and most of my ideas would be slower acting, deeper sort of causes.
@habiliverous So, I had totally forgotten about it until they called me yesterday afternoon, but it turns out I actually had my annual checkup scheduled for this morning, and I ran the hives as well as a few other things past my doctor; he thinks I might actually have a thyroid issue. It will be interesting to see if that's what it is!
@armyofskanks I'm glad the doctors are taking it seriously. Good luck!
@Everyone in this thread: make sure you have actual hives, and not just small itchy red bumps. Oops on me.
Yesss! I love reading about weird health stuff!
what other things (like garlic) can i put up my vagina and immediately taste in my mouth? this is important, so please respond ASAP
@julie lauren I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say...onions.
Maybe cilantro. Definitely onions.
@parallel-lines ohhh cilantro. that would be especially fun if you were one of those genetically predisposed to hate cilantro because your northern european ancestors lived around a similar plant that made them ill people
@julie lauren THAT IS ME.
@parallel-lines But it has to be the WHOLE onion and not cocktail or pearl or Cipollini or a shallot or scallion. It has to be a big ass Spanish or yellow onion.
@julie lauren SECONDED.
PLEASE DO NOT PUT DISGUSTING CILANTRO IN YOUR VAGINALD. THAT IS ALL.
@wee_ramekin i bet rosemary would be pretty cool
@julie lauren For remembrance?
@parallel-lines This is pretty much unrelated, but thank you for writing "cilantro" because for the past week I have been trying and failing to remember that word. "It's a spice... it starts with c... not cinnamon... not coriander... not cardamom... not caraway... wait maybe I'm thinking of nutmeg? No." My brain is a weird place, I don't know.
@wee_ramekin 10+ for intentional/unintentional use of "VAGINALD." And the big letters. I don't know how to do that.
First time a girl told me she cured her yeast infection by sticking a clove of garlic in her vagina, I could only think of how that's how I also prepare my roast chickens. Garlic cloves right to the cavity.
@julie lauren hey.
@alannaofdoom Pst, it is corriander.
@wee_ramie you just made me get busted, I laughed so hard at that. Vaginald! Bwahaha!
Also. IS THIS A THING OMG. HOW DOES IT WOOORRRRKKK. I am imagining the best restaurant right now, you guys. No desert, though.
@wee_ramekin I have been laughing my fucking ass off all night over that comment, and the visual of it, NEVER STOP BEIN YOU
@Craftastrophies Wait, you're saying it's spelled with two Rs? I think maybe this is a US vs. Aussie thing, again, because I have never seen that in all my born. Orthography: crazy!
@liznieve And me! It's the devil's herb - satan's salad. And the bloody restaurants that don't tell you that they've snook it into every dish on the menu are beelzebub's bistros.
@Craftastrophies Coriander are the seeds, I think; cilantro's the leaves.
@miwome No, I just meant that it's the same plant. I'm fairly sure I spelled it wrong (double letters are my spelling nemesis).
@Xan I didn't know that! That makes sense.
@More battenburg, vicar? Does it taste like soap to you? I have a friend who says it tastes like soap, apparently it's a genetic thing, like finding brussel sprouts unbearable. I like the flavour of it, but biting into a leaf is TERRIBLE.
@Craftastrophies Oddly, I'm mildly disappointed. I have a weakness for typographic variants across English-speaking regions.
I may have actually just died of nerd.
@miwome Ha, me toooo! Let's be friends. And we can exchange spelling notes.
NURSE!!
How bad for me IS my bad posture? Am I headed for humpty humps?
@Rachel@twitter This! And how to fix your posture.
@phlox recently started seeing a chiro who pointed out that many of us (myself included) have one leg shorter than the other, which ultimately can lead to a lot of gnarly bone-twisty problems (hence the reason for my visit to the chiro in the first place). Your ribs can actually get twisted and gnarled, and one whole side of your body can become underdeveloped and tight, which then makes it all worse.
posture is a big part of this. Learning ways to strengthen the abdomen muscles and the lower back muscles that keep you straight and upright, and finding exercises to strengthen and realign the crooked bits, and working on sitting up straight, all help make you feel better, as I now know from experience!
Plus bad posture looks bad. I'm so ashamed of my wedding photos.
GO TO YOGA
ALL LIFE PROBLEMS CAN BE FIXED BY YOGA, BASICALLY IS WHAT I'M SAYING
@dracula's ghost Or what happened to me could happen to you, which is that your gnarly unequalness will eventually catch up to your natural yoga flexibility and you will POP YOUR SACROILLIAC JOINT OUT. I am as yoga evangelical as the next person but dude that shit is not a panacea.
@Rachel@twitter I was going to ask a similar question because my neck sort of goes farther forward than other peoples and I was wondering if it could be from years of bad posture and maybe I'm on my way to becoming a hunchback? Is that crazy or could that actually be happening to me?
@dracula's ghost Snap - me too. slightly longer left leg = misaligned hips = creaky knees = curved spine = inability to ever carry a bag on my left shoulder.
Yoga can help but it can also make it worse if you don't have an instructor who is willing to correct you in position. my sense of what my body is doing when i can't see it is all out. Always do yoga in front of a mirror, if you must do it at all.
I was recommended pilates, but it's expensive and I'm broke. :(
@rararuby Yes, good points, you do need a good instructor who can actually talk to you about alignment.
@djroachgirl as far as I know, bad posture can indeed lead to hunchback-ism. At least, this is what happened to my Great Aunt Inez, who did indeed have a horrible hunched back. Then for my whole life my dad would say "honey you're gonna end up with a hump-back just like Aunt Inez" and I'd be like "GOD DAD SHUT UP"
@Rachel@twitter My posture is terrible! I have slightly curvy spinal things going on! My right shoulderblade feels like someone's jamming a knife up behind it! WILL YOGA HELP ME? (Will a chiropractor help me? Will finishing school help me? Can I just take this as an excuse to go get a badass massage?)
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
My chiro helped me a lot with the winged-out shoulderblade! There is this thing called "grasston" that breaks up all the scar tissue that's forcing your body into ever-worse positions. It feels amazing--painful in a good way--and I can SEE a difference. Also she validated my sense that massages are actually medically useful, for this same reason (breaking up scar tissue before it has a chance to get insane).
@dracula's ghost Thank you! I have such an old-fashioned image of chiropractors in my mind, it's really good to be reminded that they do all sorts of things.
@djroachgirl I have this same problem (neck goes forward/shoulders rolling forward and inwards), for me it's due to sitting at a desk all day, and being taller than everyone. It is fixable! It's about muscle strength and habits more than anything. The trainer that I currently see used to work at a desk and have the exact same posture as me, but after working on it he now has military posture. He did it through strength-training and stretching, and I'm currently working on this.
Also massage (with a massage therapist trained in rehabilitation) is awesome and helpful. And of course trying to mitigate the causes by getting your life more ergonomic.
When I was a teenager I had debilitating pain in my shoulders due to posture. But despite being raised in a household where chiropractic appointments happened more often than doctor appointments, it never helped. I now don't have a very positive view of chiros. I saw a physiotherapist for a while, but everything they did was so gradual that I felt like I'd have to go for years to make any changes.
Word of warning, if you are going to do yoga MAKE SURE you go to a teacher who has experience with back pain and injuries. They should NOT be asking you to do shoulderstands/headstands/inversions. Yoga in general makes me feel awesome, but I have had bad experiences. And my trainer said I shouldn't be doing downward dog or touching my toes until my lower back is stronger. For the moment I'm going to believe him over a yoga teacher.
@100kb I was going to a physio, and it helped - all my problems basically radiate from having flat feet, and I have the twisty thing going on - but yeah, so gradual. They gave me exercises to do that I do when I remember, but I stopped going. I have heard good things about osteopaths? And also chiropractors, but idk. I just want my body to work, but I suppose I should put more maintenance into it for that to happen... Also, I have an impacted vertebrae from being a receptionist without a headset and holding the phone against my ear with my shoulder (I threw a hissy fit and got a headset... a week before I left). And then everything gets tight and I stick me chin out and now I have a dowager's hump. Yick.
@Craftastrophies oh man, that sounds like one crappy job. I hope you got worker's comp or something?
I think everyone gets annoyed at their bodies when they don't work as well as we'd like and intrude into our lives. Chronic pain can be especially soul-sucking. BUT unless there are some geriatric ladies on here, all of us are young enough to make dramatic improvements. Bodies are flexible and can heal! It's not too late! (One of the things I don't like about the alternative medicine culture is how much DOOM + RUINED-FOREVER there is, and not enough respect for the natural resilience of the body.) You aren't doomed, you guys.
With that in mind: strengthening is the shit, for basically any posture issue. Plus lots and lots of stretching (not necessarily yoga, everyone's body is different, etc). Now that I'm almost 30 I've FINALLY realized that little daily stuff is more important than throwing a pile of money at a professional to fix it when it's messed up. Much like flossing. If I could go back in time and tell my younger self anything, that would be it.
@100kb Yes, this. I am hitting the age now where I can still do so much to help, but I really notice it if I don't.
The exercises my physio gave me are all for strengthening - my problem is that I got areas of tension, and then other areas that are hypermobile to make up for it. But, for instance, my neck muscles aren't strong enough so my neck tendons (?) get sore so my head juts forward. My core muscles are the BOMB at the moment so I don't have lower back issues anymore, because I have the strength to hold my torso where it should be. Shoulder muscles? Not so much. But seriously, I do one day of yoga or walking and the difference is massive.
So... I probably should do that more often...
@Rachel@twitter Well you guys ALSO, my chiro, having pointed out that one leg is shorter than the other, told me to go to this place where you run barefoot on a treadmill while they film you, and then they play the film back super slow and point out all the weird shit you're doing when you walk/run. It was MIND BLOWING to see my crazy right foot flapping all over the place when I thought I'd been perfectly straight. Then they have you try on a million pairs of running shoes and they basically prescribe shoes to you, shoes with the right shape/type of support to correct whatever is fucking you up. I had terrible hip pain and since getting the shoes it's been much much better, I highly recommend it!!!
"gait analysis."
I was literally up last night thinking about a weird feeling I had in my body (won't get specific) and wishing that I could just ask someone if it's a doctor-trip-worthy thing or not. And specifically thinking "OMG THE HAIRPIN SHOULD HAVE SOMEONE" and holy shit you guys.
@Jaya yeah. seriously. i have just been lying in bed at night with a weird body feeling thinking "i wish i had someone to tell me whether this is silly or not, because this feeling is weeeeird," and then not being able to sleep. dear nurse, please answer my plea!
@chickaboom If you want a more immediate response, although this depends on whether you're insured/if your insurance is decent, many insurers have an ask-a-nurse free hotline that will answer your questions. I once called with the stupidest thing ever (I'd fallen off a ladder, had zero concussion symptoms yet was convinced I had a concussion) and they were very nice and nonjudgmental.
@Emma Peel They didn't just tell you to go to the hospital anyway? I feel like the few times I've called my advice nurse line, they default to "Go to a doctor!" immediately just in case you're really sick and sue them afterward if you don't go to the doctor. (I guess I'm pretty cynical about my insurance provider?...)
@Emma Peel @lizzle Yeah, I was going to say that in theory it's an awesome idea, but my insurance provider doesn't make that information easy to find PLUS on my old insurance, when I called a nurse, they just told me "Well, if you think it's really bad, go to a doctor" which was kind of why I was calling them in the first place. It reminded me of when I called AAA because my brakes smelled overheated and they refused to discuss any mechanical possibilities because they didn't want to be held liable if I crashed. Even when I promised I wouldn't sue :(
But in theory, a great idea!
So I take HBC for acne. I also love how I know exactly what time I'm going to start my period. And not getting cramps and all that. But now I want to get an IUD because I suck at taking the pill at the same time every day and I definitely don't want to get pregnant. Is there any way to be on both? The pill is the only thing that has helped my skin.
@bruschetta Hormonal IUD? (Google the Mirena, see what you think.)
@bruschetta I am NOT the professional here obviously so this is mere musing, but I wonder if you could do the non-hormonal IUD (Paraguard) and still take the pill. I did the Paragaurd alone and had a bad experience (heavy, loooong crampy periods, acne-palooza), but with all these things they are individual and I'm sure there are many who love the Paraguard. I asked if switching to the Mirena IUD (the hormonal one) would help my acne in the same way the pill does, and my doc said sometimes it actually makes it worse. Not sure how that works. So now no IUD and it's HBC all the way for me. It's the only thing that makes my skin ok.
@bruschetta If you get the copper IUD and not the hormonal one, there's no reason you'd have to give up taking the pill too.
@SarahP I never even thought of that as an option - just because of the whole double birth control idea. Cool.
@Killerpants (PS- I am one of the people who love the Paragard.)
@MatildaGold I have thought about doing this. I think I'm done with HBC (at least until my Paragard expels itself, fingers crossed it doesn't!) but as a paranoid lady I have to admit the double-birth-control thought did cross my mind. And the triple one where I'd be using condoms too.
@klibberfish You know...things to think about just in case I EVER have sex again.
@klibberfish *quiet weeping*
@Killerpants
yes I love my Paragard copper IUD, too. I had about 4 very heavy crampy periods right after getting it, now two years later it's nothing but pure awesomeness.
@bruschetta I actually asked my gyno this same question, it turns out the hormones used in hormonal IUDs and implanon are different than the ones used in birth control pills, so hormonal IUDs and implanon often make acne worse. which sucks because i need the acne control and am horrible at taking a pill every day.
@bruschetta @Curioser and curioser I'm envious of your good paraguard experiences! My gyno said she doesn't have many who request it over the mirena, but she is a fan of it herself.
I just couldn't be happier about this addition to the hairpin!
I was actually thinking of emailing in this question (to whom, I don't know) but I guess I will post it here in the comments too. I had a pretty serious eating disorder when I was 17 (anorexia) and subsequently totally recovered. I even brag about how "recovered" I am (though not in a mean-spirited or solipsistic way, I hope) and how normal about eating I am and how I don't attach any emotional value to food anymore and how much I like how I look. Anyway, I accidentally lost some weight recently without trying to - not like a ton of weight, but my mom mentions it whenever I see her, and I went down a size or two and can fit into old stuff again - and now I find myself thinking way more than I used to about food and weight and how I look. I really DON’T want to lose any more weight . . . but I'm kind of enjoying being a little bit thinner and I don't really want to gain weight either? I know that losing weight, physiologically, produces a bad mental state, so I'd probably stop thinking about food and weight if I gained a couple pounds. It's so upsetting because I had so prided myself on being TOTALLY free of eating disordered thoughts and TOTALLY normal. It's not like controlling my life or anything, but I can't decide whether to: try to regain the weight (I don't want to for vanity reasons), go to a therapist (logistically difficult, and even though I LOVE therapy, I'm embarrassed to go for something like this, again), or just try to do nothing and not lose more weight (tricky).
@Ellie I vote therapist. Absolutely no reason to be embarrassed about going. Ever. For anything. Think of it as like a "check-up" session where you can kind of say, "Hey. Generally, I've been great. Here's what's going through my head about this weight I recently lost. Should I be concerned? Am I overreacting? Am I totally NOT overreacting?"
It'll be sorta like getting a physical at the doctor where you get to ask all the questions you've been saving up since you last saw the doctor, but didn't warrant a separate visit ("Is this mole ok? It hasn't changed, but I'm just double-checking." "Sometimes my joints get sore!" "Should I get tested for allergies?" etc.).
@HeyThatsMyBike Thanks for replying! I always get so embarrassed to leave long comments (esp. about myself) bc I'm incapable of being concise. I think that's really good advice!
@HeyThatsMyBike This was the best answer ever. I agree with everything you've said.
@Ellie It's cool. I also suffer from long-winded syndrome. Solidarity, sister!
And with regard to any logistical issues - if you're near a university with a Clinical Psych program, they almost undoubtedly have really low-cost counseling available with advanced grad students doing their internships. Because of that, they're also often available to meet at weird hours. I know there's one near me where they charge something absurd like $15/session.
@HeyThatsMyBike I second this answer. Body image/food stuff is really hard. I've not had an eating disorder but I've always been fat and it's taken me years to get to a place where I like my body. I need to work on getting more activity to be healthier, but I'm actually terrified that I'll lose some weight and be pleased about it, and get stuck in that spiral.
This stuff is hard, no shame in checking in with someone about it. I guarantee they deal with much more trivial stuff all the time - as they should. I'd think of it as an old injury that's been a bit sore lately. If you'd done your knee and now it was aching a bit, you'd get it looked at, just to be sure.
@Ellie Yes! Definitely talk to a therapist and you may find yourself talking about things that come into your mind (especially if prompted by an astute therapist) when you're thinking of this subject that you edit out when you write on an internet forum. There might be something here. Then again, there might now. But wouldn't it feel great to have a second opinion that is professional?
Also, FWIW, I don't think it's possible to totally recover from something as gripping as an eating disorder (or any physical injury). Having had my tangle with it, I describe it as being in remission rather than over. While I haven't relapsed so far, I've had my trigger pushed often enough to know that it's still there.
@SomeGayGuy I completely agree re: remission, triggers, etc. I don't think I've ever heard of someone who recovered and never had a disordered thought again. So @Ellie, you have nothing to be ashamed of! This sort of thing happens to pretty much all of us every so often, I think.
@Ellie
Well done on getting better! Just my two cents, dont feel shame if you think youre tempted in to slipping in to that mind set. Anorexia itself is a mental pattern (often as a coping device) and with every pattern the brain learns its tempting to fall back in to it. Whats great is that you recognize it's happening so get what ever help you think you need with no fear of embarrassment.
"What's going on in that picture...Oh!"
Ummm....every time I fly I am terrified of deep vein thrombosis. I have no family predisposition towards it, no previous blood clots, I constantly move my legs and fidget, and basically, am not really at any higher risk than anyone else.
And yet, while I actually kind of love the 'flying' part of flying (ahhhhh it is so beautiful, part of me wants to take flying lessons!) I am terrified it will instantly kill me because of a blood clot exploding my lungs, or however it happens.
So, I don't even know what my question is but - Blood clots: Promise me they won't make me die.
@leon.saintjean Are you tall? My friend's boyfriend is over 6 feet and he got a deep vein thrombosis due to a trans-Atlantic flight. Now he will only sit in the "extra leg room" seats if he has to fly.
I am a lady of average height and I also worry about this. Even more so because I'm on hormonal contraceptives and they increase your risk of blood clots. GREAT. And I can't just avoid airplanes unless I never want to see my family again because they live on the opposite coast.
@leon.saintjean "Promise me I won't die" is the summary of pretty much every question I have for the nurse.
@leon.saintjean But it's instant! It is not scary! Right?
@SarahP - ugh i was so hoping you were right about the risk being instant i just googled it and it turns out the risk period is like, 2 weeks after flying, which means I have 13 more days or so of periodic terror.
I was terrified because these websites had numbers like "1 in 1000" travellers will get it. But then I found one place that said "most sufferers are over 40" (not-check!) and "nearly all clots dissolve without ever being noticed and causing no symptoms". AND THATS WHEN I CLICKED CLOSE TAB - for first time, for a happy reason.
I'm calming down a little now, but I was so paranoid when I got home last night because my ankles were swollen and my shins were red, and I googled that shit, and DVT was a potential symptom. Other symptons were chest issues.
Then I remembered (a)I spent SOOO MUCH TIME walking and on my feet - between parades and bourbon st, I was on my feet for 20+ hours on Tuesday alone, including basically ALL of the daytime hours (guys, you have to go to mardi gras in new orleans), and as for my chest, I smoked 2.5 packs per day (omg i am gross, but trying to quit next week) as opposed to my usual half pack (so much drinking).
Plus, the redness is symmetrical, and the swelling is almost completely gone and the red fading. I think I just had like, shin splints and generally sore ankles from a billion hours of Mardi Gras walking and standing on concrete and pavement.
@SarahP Sadly, no. (frowny, sad face)
@Mingus_Thurber Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I assumed it was quick and painless, like an aneurism or something! Now it's scary.
(And why, oh why, did I just go read the Wikipedia page? I knew nothing good would come of it!)
@SarahP I am, to quote The Doctor, so, so sorry. So very sorry.
The trouble with things like pulmonary emboli and aneurisms is that they are not, the majority of the time, quick and deadly. I tell my stroke patients all the time that my fear is not that they die of their next stroke, but that they end up (Mingus rolls head to side, crosses eyes, sticks tongue out of mouth).
However, my great-grandmother died of an aneurysm when she threw her head back to laugh at a joke. At the age of 92. Sometimes the best case scenario really happens (although I feel really sorry for whoever told the joke).
@leon.saintjean Ugh, I HATE those times, when you've been doing so good at cutting back and then drinking/visits/CIRCUMSTANCES happen and suddenly you are a coughy, nose-runny, spendthrifty smokestack. I get so annoyed.
Are we allowed to send pictures? "Should my arm stick out like that?" "What's going on with my skin?"
Someone I know comes from a family with a history of skin cancer and he does like a yearly once-over to cut the worst moles and freckles out, which surprised me and made me paranoid, because I have like a hundred and so does everyone in my family and as far as I know none of use have ever gotten them checked out, like is that a thing people do? Even if you have a hundred? And five or six new ones each year?
@Infinite Jess YES YES YES YES YES YES
especially this: "five or six new ones each year."
GO TO THE DERM. Go once a year and get a check up! The mole-ier you are the more you should go to the dermo! Everyone in my family has skin cancer and BELIEVE ME. You have to catch it early. And we've fucked up our atmosphere so now even weirdly light/mild sun exposure can lead to problems down the road.
especially new moles, get them checked out! But even old moles can suddenly turn bad, i recently learned.
dark stuff
just go
!
@dracula's ghost I go once a year and it's no biggie, except for the fact that dermatologists are apparently all the most gorgeous people on the earth (I asked a doctor friend about this and she confirmed) so you do feel weird when, like, the most beautiful woman you've ever seen calls in for a second opinion and the new doc is the most beautiful man you've ever seen, and they're both bending over, like, peering at your left butt-cheek and prodding.
but you know, small price to pay
@dracula's ghost Word to all of this (incl. the beautiful doctors part). I am ultra-paranoid and I go once a year, and I make DAMN sure the doctor has scoured every single dark spot on my body (and cut off any remotely threatening-looking ones). The perils of being a pale person with a family history of cancer.
Related story: my husband is exactly like me....really susceptible to dark spots that look cancer-y. And he never EVER goes to the derm. So I made him go 3 years ago against his will because, um, I like my husband alive, and whatever stupidmothereffing doctor he went to was like "You look fine. Let me guess...a girlfriend or wife made you come here?" WTF?! Dermatologists should NOT EVER, NEVER NOT EVER encourage people to avoid getting their moles/dark spots checked.
@Infinite Jess my famjam has a history of skin cancer too, and when I told my doctor this at my last physical (not sure if she had known before) she counted and checked out all my moles and gave me the thumbs up. You could probably just ask your family doctor to do it at a physical. Sometimes it can be hard to get a referral to a derm.
@olivebee I am a pale person with PILES of freckles and some moles and my freckles insist on doing weird things* and freaking me out. Apparently these things are not cancer (so far) but are some sort of weird reaction to my birth control hormones?
But since I was raised to be a paranoid person when it comes to such things, I get all sorts of freaked out when my mom/boyfriend/whoever gets some sort of weird spots or whatever, and I make them go to to the doc immediately because "you never know, it might be cancer." I am annoying.
*They get all puffy and then fall off. I AM NOT JOKING. I may be a leper, nbd.
@Infinite Jess yes! this advice column welcomes photographic evidence.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher My best friend's father burns his morphologically variable moles off with a cigarette. I do not recommend this action.
This is probably a good place to acknowledge that I'm going to a new doctor for the first time in years and I am terrified. I don't want to get a half-hour lecture on how I'm fat and it's killing me! Or find out I have type 2 diabetes or be put on blood pressure medication! augh.
@anachronistique Maybe talk to them up front and be all "Please don't lecture me about _______, I am a grown-ass woman and am well aware of ____________. I would like to talk to you about __________ instead?" (I still need to try this with my dentist.)
@anachronistique My biggest fear of moving away from home is changing all my doctors. In descending order of fear: gyno (mine is infinitely patient and awesome), GP (I've been seeing mine since I was two WHAT IF HE RETIRES BEFORE I CAN MOVE AWAY), dentist (I don't fear the dentist in the least but I still don't want the person poking needles into my gums to be a shithead), eye doctor (whatever, I'm an old pro at this shit, got my first pair of glasses when I was four).
And as a fat person, the type of fat person who is okay with being fat but still has terrible self-esteem issues, I am nnnnnot the least bit looking forward to the process, and I sympathize. I agree with the Snatcher of Words, be direct about what you're there for. I am always prepared to be short with medical-type people who point out I am fat, as if I've never noticed.
@anachronistique ALSO, a thing to remember based on something someone else in this thread said: you are paying these people! They are there to help you and provide you with a service, not to make you feel bad about yourself in any way. If one does, ditch 'em. That goes for everyone.
@camanda I just had my last EVER appointment with my pediatrician (hi, 23, constantly terrified people in the office think I'm bringing a kid of my own there) a few weeks ago and I am SO SAD about it. She is so great. Siiiggghhh.
@everybody Thanks for the reassurance, everybody, and I will try my best to be sensible and grown-up about this! And miwome, I FEEL YOU.
@miwome This is off-topic but I'm not sure what time it will be there when Friday Open Thread hits and HOW IS EGYPT??
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher AAAHHH I am about to head over there to talk about it! But generally speaking, it's pretty great so far.
@anachronistique with all due respect to the medical profession, fuck that guy and anyone who gives you a lecture about your weight! health at every size health at every siiiiiizeee
good luck and thanks for reminding me that i need to throw something in about this.
OK, I've heard so many times that visiting the therapist is healthy and will sort your mind out and I trust people on that ... but how do you guys get over wanting to puke when you think about confessing your problems to a total stranger?? I have enough problems discussing serious shit with my closest friends! (Which is, incidentally, one reason why I am considering therapy - at what point does being a naturally private person cross the line into "pathologically good at compartmentalization and will probably have a total breakdown in 25 years"??)
@rebecca@twitter I actually think it's easier! It would probably help if you say up front that you're struggling with that. Some therapists are a little more question-asky than others, so I can see a therapist who just kinda sits and waits for you to spill might not work out so great in your situation. Although who knows, you would know best.
these days if I tell one of my close friends something, I consider it to have been entered into the spiderweb of gossip spun by my manipulative __ and may therefore come back to haunt me any day. sure i've only told one person, but after that i have no control over who knows it.
i obviously have no problems blathering on about my personal life though. which is an issue in its own right.
@rebecca@twitter Agreed! I would rather saw off my arm (not really) than talk about feelings and issues. No matter with whom - boyfriends, friends, pets, etc.! But maybe it's better with a total rando that you won't ever have to interact with outside the dr's office? Blegh.
@rebecca@twitter You don't get over it, necessarily. You just do it. Like, at my first session I cried the ENTIRE TIME (literally, constant tears for 45 min.), not even because I felt especially sad that day, but because I was sooo stressed out about discussing my shitty life with an utter stranger.
So the first time you go might feel really stressful and horrible. But things can only get easier with every visit as your therapist becomes more familiar to you.
@elysian fields The two or three sessions I had of therapy were like that! Except my life wasn't particularly shitty. I felt extra-stupid, since I already thought my issues didn't warrant a therapist and I was sitting there bordering on tears despite not being upset. Instead of crying, I basically spent both sessions going "Yeah, everything's pretty much fine!" and then gave up.
@Faintly Macabre it really feels great to be able to be like "oh ... i don't have all that much to talk about with you right now. andddd I don't feel like crying! woah. woahhhhhh"
this did not happen for me in 2 or 3 sessions
@Faintly Macabre It sounds like maybe you got a therapist who wasn't right for you? Don't give up on therapy forever. I had a bad experience and gave up on it for about a decade, but now I'm with someone who is a good match, and it's been such an enormous help.
Yay, nurses are great!
As for the disclaimer, I trust that we Hairpinners are smarter than the guy on a recent Savage Love (ugh, why do I listen?) who left a message for Dan saying "uh, yeah, so my penis was bleeding a lot, should I go to the doctor?" -- who DOES THAT instead of seeking profesional help?!
Which is to say "Go see a doctor — it's bleeding!" is my new shorthand for "Get rid of your bloody appendages, seriously, they're revolting!"
@thisisunclear One time in high school (DISGUSTING INFORMATION ALERT)...
I got an infected hangnail, and my ring-finger swelled up to twice its normal size and turned all purple, so I dipped a sewing needle in hydrogen peroxide and just JAMMED IT IN, and all kinds of horrible fluids came out, and then I was like "cool, well that's no problem." But then it swelled up again and I had to go on antibiotics. And the nurse who saw me could not get over what an insane moron I was, she kept calling other people to come and see what I'd done. I was like "WHAT. It's called not being a wimp!"
Probably nothing so beautifully illustrates how stupid teenagers are than this story, which I think about often when listening to Savage Love.
Unfortunately most of the people calling in to Savage Love are grown-ass people so I don't know what their excuse is
@dracula's ghost oh hell that sounds like something I would do.
@dracula's ghost DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:
the actual look on my face reading that
but i still enjoyed reading it. what is wrong with me?!
@redheaded&crazy schadenfreude!
@Third Wave Housewife Me three. I am the queen of performing ill-advised minor surgeries with sterilized sewing needles. I started with piercing all my friends' ears when we were 12!
Dearest Nurse, What is up with BV? Why does no one know exactly what causes it? Why does it reoccur? Is there any lifestyle change (besides abstinence) I can make to prevent it from reoccurring? I was diagnosed with it last month and did the whole antibiotic gel thing, but now i'm freaking out that it's only a matter of time before I get it again. I feel like I'm going crazy right now with probiotics and prayer...am I just kidding myself? Are my ladyparts just gonna have to suffer for the rest of my life?
@silver flats A lot of people just have chihuaginas (basically your vagina is a delicate flower and the bacteria go nucking futs in there for no reason) and abstinence is not likely to change much (unless you were using lube that doesn't agree with you? Or your partners are dirty?). Antibiotics will frequently cause relapses by killing much of the good bacteria along with the bad ones, but if it's bad enough that there's a risk of scarring or anything, you really do need the antibiotics.
A lot of cases will clear up on their own and flare up from time to time. I feel like probiotics might be a placebo but in my case a damn good placebo-- just keep everything clean (EVERYTHING EXTERNAL. NOTHING INTERNALLY) and well-ventilated (cotton undies, go commando at night and as often as you can) and honestly, I get small flares once in a while, usually around week 3 of my cycle, and it's No Big. I realize it does not feel like no big because omg wat gross why is this happening to me (I def did that too) but it really isn't a life sentence.
@Third Wave Housewife Did you just portmanteau "chihuahua" and "vagina" because if yes, I think I love you.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I did. It started in an open thread when another pinner asked me for super sensitive lady-friendly lube recommendations and referred to herself as "a chihuahua."
@Third Wave Housewife I have a theory that I'm allergic to latex and that was causing my vagina to be like WTF shiz goin cray-cray. But yes, started using polyisoprene condoms, and life is not as itchy or burn-y. I am just freaking out because I waited until i was "ready" to lose my v-card, which for me meant age 23. And now I have to deal with this grossness that my abstinence-only non-sex education didn't prepare me for. Also, I just lost my health insurance so I really can't afford for things to go badly. Oh, and speaking of lube, do you have any suggestions for a sensitive lady with sensitive ladyparts? It took me forever to get my dude friend to stop using this terrible strawberry stuff that made me itch just from smelling it...also wtf strawberry flavored/ smelling genitals...ew.
@silver flats Polyisoprene is the best! Also, get rid of your strawberry stuff, seriously, it is disgusting and is pretty much guaranteed to give sensitive ladybits an infection. In fact, don't use anything with features- no warming, cooling, tingling, none of that shit.
Quick rundown of junk care from your friendly neighborhood sex educator:
1. V (or Vie) Lube by Icon Brands is one of the best, most sensitive lubricants out there right now. It, and Astroglide Natural, have the fewest ingredients of anything in the whole lube section of my place of employment. Stick with V Ultra Sensitive if you can find it in a sex shop (you will not find this in a pharmacy, sorry), which comes in both liquid and gel. The liquid is PERFECTION- it actually feels like the real thing. Sliquid is more ubiquitous and would also do nicely, as would Astroglide Natural- a ton of companies market "woman friendly" lube now, but I can't possibly speak for all of them.. Also, lube is your friend, use it- if you're under-lubricated, you can get uh, a little raw, which may cause problems in your chihuagina. Remember, vaginas are very sensitive to begin with- mucus membranes and all...
2. Keep cranberry supplements around and drink tons of water and pee as often as you can, especially following and preceding sex. Post-coital showers are also good and like I said, grooming is for the outside of your body only. When I first started having sex I had a wonderful summer of UTIs (and BV resulting from the antibiotics of course FUN) The fun part of this is that frequent orgasms and general working of the PC muscles through kegels or sex will make your body better equipped to defend against UTIs. So yeah, the first few months can kind of be a battle, but with any luck, things will get much much better.
Also, because I do not want anyone to have to be in the dark about this stuff, if you have any questions ever, EMAIL ME. My username, no spaces, gmail. That goes for anyone with questions-- comprehensive sex education should be a right, not a rarity.
@Third Wave Housewife AAAAHHH you are the best. For serious. (Jane! Edith! Jolie! Get this woman a column, stat!)
@Third Wavie. Can you please explain flavoured lubricant to me? To be more specific... WHY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY?
Also, Chocolate flavoured condoms. I mean, for reals what.
@Craftastrophies I hold the secrets to many mysteries but those ones I'm.....I'm at a loss. We sell a TON of "Sex Tarts" brand lubricant, and even Sliquid has a flavored line, so I assume some of them must taste ...not like lube. The problem is that people somehow miss the fact that you should never ever put that anywhere near a vagina. RIMMING AND DICK-SUCKING ONLY, GUYS. (not that you really need it for rimming though) AND GET IT ALL OFF IF YOU WANT TO PROCEED TO ~OTHER ACTIVITIES~ There are so many troubling lubricants out there aaaagh
@Third Wave Housewife I need something stronger than just a thumbs up, so I just want to tell you that you're awesome. <3
@Third Wave Housewife I... but... then. Ok, but if you... I mean, why would...
The thing is...
I just do not understand.
@Third Wave Housewife Thank you thank you thank you! I also had a terrible uti last month (and bv too yay!). The infection was (to quote the doctor), "quite aggressive and spreading to [my] kidneys...possibly fatal." then I kind of blanked for awhile because of the pain. After that, I started taking a cranberry supplement everyday and peeing immediately after sex. Again, thank you so much! You will most likely be getting an email from me. I've had to seek out all of my sex info, mostly from teh interwebs and experiences of my friends. Ah, the benefits of growing up in the Bible Belt.
@Third Wave Housewife Thank you thank you thank you! I also had a terrible uti last month (and bv too yay!). The infection was (to quote the doctor), "quite aggressive and spreading to [my] kidneys...possibly fatal." then I kind of blanked for awhile because of the pain. After that, I started taking a cranberry supplement everyday and peeing immediately after sex. Again, thank you so much! You will most likely be getting an email from me. I've had to seek out all of my sex info, mostly from teh interwebs and experiences of my friends. Ah, the benefits of growing up in the Bible Belt.
@Craftastrophies Because flavored condoms taste better than plain ol' latex ones when one is giving a blowjob.
True story: A friend of mine was an outreach worker for an organization that served homeless youth, many of whom were GLBT and prostituting to survive. One thing they stressed was safer sex techniques, including a stealth application of a condom to a client who wanted a blowjob. The sex worker would put a flavored condom in their mouth on the sly, and then just conveniently not tell the john they were applying it in the course of giving the blowjob. Of course the clients didn't want the worker to use the condom for the beej, but by the time they figured it out, it was too late for them to do anything about it.
Right, so, it was all well and good for the counselors to advocate the stealth condom trick, but they needed to be able to demonstrate it and give tips and hints, too. So there's my (obviously very gay) friend in his office, practicing this tricky maneuver with a HUGE purple sparkly dildo, and he THOUGHT his office door was closed. Only it wasn't, and he only discovered this when he looked up to discover the organization's director and a whole gaggle of high school kids on a field trip STARING at him deep-throating said huge purple sparkly dildo. *snicker*
Oh, and he says the grape-flavored condoms tasted best, while the banana ones were foul.
@MsChilePepper OGOD I AM DYING IMAGINING THIS. Also, fake-flavored banana is always the fucking worst out of all the synthetic fruit flavors for anything.
@SomeGayGuy YES! I can barely stand real bananas, and will only eat them if they're still about 1/3 green, but fake banana flavor gives me the heaves. Blech!
@MsChilePepper Ugh. I also think it's an utterly dumb thing to have banana-flavored condoms. Like, yeah, haha, but because they're shaped similarly, you really wouldn't want someone to be confused about whether they had a lubed-up cock/dildo or a banana in their mouths. Like say, in drunken fooling around. Say what you want, but jaw strength + teeth hurt.
@MsChilePepper I... really like fake banana flavour. But I in no way associate it with actual banana taste. I can't deal with fake berry flavours, though, or cherry. GE-ROSS.
@MissChilePepper ok, that is an excellent reason. I rescind my confusion :P
It made me think of the time I worked in community services. We had a team meeting, and a new member of the HIV education team told a story about going to a training session with a group of Islamic conservative women, and having to explain what fisting is. She did this dainty little fist motion and her boss went 'no, no. It's FISTING [riverter rosie movement]' It was a golden moment.
@Craftastrophies D: I was Rosie the Riveter for Halloween last year. Thanks for the visual. D:
Fake strawberry is the WORST, I agree. But I kinda like cherry, when it's a popsicle, for instance. Or Jolly Ranchers candy.
I just sent my e-mail(!!!!).
@whimseywisp me too(!!!). I'm so glad this is a thing now!
HELP ME NOT BE AFRAID OF THE GYNO I HAVE TO GO AGAIN NEXT MONTH :(
I have bad knees. Like, really bad knees. I have since high school, probably even earlier. I don't know what to do with them. I feel like I should do something with them now while I'm on my dad's super-awesome health insurance, but...what? I don't know why I'm waffling over this when I could just go see my GP who I've been going to since I was two and be all, "Yo, Doc, what up with my knee-bones?" I think I'm just afraid of making it worse, as if doing nothing is going to make it better.
Now that I think of it, there are a lot of things I should just go see someone about, but I don't, because I am an idiot.
@camanda GYNOS ARE GOOD! (Well, good gynos are good. Awful gynos should be set on fire, because really you're in a pretty precarious position already and if the person taking care of that isn't 100% awesome they don't need to be there.) They keep important parts of you in good and working order.
Also get rid of your bad knees, seriously, they are revolting. (?) But seriously, knees are important too, and you should maybe talk to your GP about them? Then again, I have bad ankles, and talking to doctors always gets me 1 of 2 answers: (1) Do physical therapy (doesn't help), and (2) "You could have surgery, but it wouldn't help much." So that's not super helpful, but at least you'd know.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher My gyno is awesome, thankfully, I just caaaaaaaan't haaaaaaandle it. I've been going since I was 18 (am 24) and every.time. I still...don't take it well, and then almost faint afterwards. She is awesome because she doesn't tell me I'm a big idiot baby, which is what I am. I suppose I've gotten better over time considering I've never had sex and my vag and I are not, shall we say, on speaking terms, but ugh why so much drama.
Re: knees, that's what I'm afraid they'll tell me. I know I should just have them tell me and then, as you say, I would know, but, I don't know -- the thought of paying someone to tell me something I am already aware of irritates me. Hahaha, I am supremely difficult. Get over it and go, self!
@camanda Ask to see a specialist in sports med? Because those folks are great - they'll actually take the time to figure out the physics/kinesiology of your joints instead of sending you to PT automatically. Plus, if you're like me and don't plan to change your overactive lifestyle because of a little wee flaming knee pain that sets your entire leg on fire, they'll get you. Really - they'll get you, man.
@camanda I feel you on the knees. I fell last year, never got it checked out, and during PT for my hip (I'm literally falling apart.) they discovered a ton of scar tissue that is now incredibly painful. My PT is great, so I'm sure it'll be worth in the end but I'm sort of feeling broken. Anyhoo, definitely have it checked out! Don't be an idiot like me and make it much worse!
I would like to be taking a vitamin supplement, but they make me super nauseous, even the gummy ones. Is there anything I can take? Prenatal vitamins? Is it ok to take those if I'm not with child?
@Nutellaface Is it the zinc? Because zinc in vitamins makes me nauseous. My solution is to take separate vitamins, which is a paaaaain and I always feel like I'm missing something important, but it's better than wanting to throw up all the time. Calcium, Iron, and Vitamins E, C, D, and B complex make the most difference to me.
@aubrey! Actually, maybe I should just find a multivitamin without zinc.
@Nutellaface What time of day are you taking them? I used to get nauseous if I took them first thing in the morning, but after dinner is not a problem. And for me, I think it was the iron, so maybe a lower dose of that?
@combledore You're usually supposed to take them with food*
*learned after taking a b vitamin in high school when I didn't eat breakfast, and barfing ALLLLLLLL over the bus.
@Nutellaface If regular vitamins make you sick, prenatals will definitely make you sick. Common triggers include the ones mentioned here and calcium. I am with child myself, and can't take prenatals because of the calcium. I am taking, I kid you not, a Flinstone's chewable every morning, along with a folic acid pill. And I drink a ton of milk. Doctor's orders. So yeah - maybe give chalky ol' Fred and Barney a whirl?
I just want to know where to meet some other queer nurses - why isn't there a National Association of Queer Healthcare Providers or some such?
@aka_velma you should DEFINITELY email me. lola@thehairpin.com
Dear gracious Lady-nurse,
I've always been bad at eating regular meals, but within the past year or so I seem to be going straight from feeling fine to wham-sudden-low-blood-sugar-dizziness with no intervening sense of hunger. I'm worried that this is a Bad Sign that I'm setting myself up for hypoglycemia or something further down the road.
Is that even a Thing, or am I worried for nothing? Also (gosh, this sounds stupid), any tips on how to remember to eat regularly or on how to recover from the reeling and brain-fog when I, uh, don't? I get panicked and irrational when I realize I'm past due for food, so some rules would be a great help!
@VolcanoMouse Friend! I have beeeeen there. (Except mine was more a "you get to be hungry for 10 minutes and then you get nauseous/stomach pains. Serves you right for not feeding me" thing.) And as a person who doesn't do well when she doesn't eat: set alarms! Write yourself notes! Have a lunch buddy at your office, if you work in a communal place, and set alarms if you don't. (Google calendar is great for this if you spend much of your day on the computer or have a smart phone.) Getting back on a regular food schedule made my body and stomach much happier.
@VolcanoMouse Carry snacks at all times (granola bars, mini candy bars, apples, tootsie pops, crackers, whatever) so you have something in an emergency to tide you over long enough to find real food. (DO NOT TREAT THE SNACKS AS A REASON NOT TO EAT A MEAL IF THEY MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. THEY ARE A TOOL.)
@VolcanoMouse
I have this too! It's so bizarre just not having any feelings of hunger. I think you have to just set up a routine as in 'oooh its 1:30 pm, MUST EAT NOW'. You feel like a robot but at least your body gets the sustenance it needs at times it can predict so it doesnt do anything weird to over compensate.
I preach, but I fail at this. Hoping the advice is helpful!
Sound advice, everyone! I had a non-junk breakfast today and will set an alarm for other meals. It feels kind of silly ("how dumb am I that I need an alarm to remind myself to eat food so I DON'T DIE?"), but at this point, I need to swallow my pride and try it.
@miwome: I shall go on the hunt for things I can keep in my purse/jacket/glove compartment that 1. keep indefinitely/don't melt or get crushed (maybe granola bars? fruit leather?) and 2. are weird enough that I won't eat them just because they're tasty treats. I have some glucose tablets for my purse, but I feel weird and dramatic carrying them around, and they only help prevent a migraine if I'm ten minutes from dinner anyway. Hrrrm.
@VolcanoMouse everyone so many good strategies here!
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher THIS. I had to tell both my Ph.D. advisor and my current department chair that if I started getting cranky with them, it was a sign I needed them to tell me to eat something. Fortunately, I'm close to both of them, so it wasn't as weird as it could have been, but they've both told me that it was really helpful for them to know. And it heads off a LOT of potentially bad interactions.
the server ate my long comment! harrumph!
basically, I might have a kidney stone and have possible passed some pieces of it already (gross, I'm sorry), but it hurts a lot and my doctor can't see me until next week and I'm pouty about it because I feel like it's not bad enough to warrant a trip to the ER, but I'm still super uncomfortable.
Also, what is the protocol for having an awesome doctor who has a terrible office staff? I finally found a gyn I like, but the front desk is over the top rude and unprofessional and apparently can't work a multiple lined phone. How does one navigate this situation other than mentioning it to the doctor every time you see them?
@contrary I hate it when the front desk is rude to you for no reason! I've dealt with that a lot and I have to say I have not always been elegant at dealing with it, but I've found that 1) being put in contact with a nurse affiliated with your doctor can be great, because they'll actually call you back or take time to talk to you 2) being really persistent and clear about what you want can really help. Also, for me, working really hard at not crying in stressful/angry situations. But hopefully that's just me.
@contrary Not having done this myself, but maybe ask your doctor if there is a way you can leave feedback about your visits, anonymous or identified?
@contrary You should totally say something to your physician - these people are their representatives and they would want to know if their staff is giving patients a hard time.
@contrary Leave a comment on Yelp. There are also other online feedback forums for doctors as well.
@parallel-lines I tell the physician/nurses every time I go there but nothing seems to change. I think they know whats up because they always ask who I spoke with, and usually say "yeah, she was recently let go." Being put on hold for a long time once in a while is one thing, but I had to reschedule a bunch of important tests because they hung up on my insurance company/put them on hold for 20+ minutes when they called for authorization.
This is a great idea! Huzzah!
This is an awesome idea! I have the most insignificant question ever: I've had a little knobbly bit, about 1mm in diameter, in my earlobe for the past... three years? Four? WHAT IS IT?? Most of the time it feels like a hard little ball in my earlobe, just chillin', but sometimes it gets bigger and sometimes it hurts and feels inflamed, and there have been times when the skin over the top of it has got dry and slightly scab-like, but then other times it seems to have got so small I can barely feel it. I've never had pierced ears so scar tissue seems unlikely. I kind of want it to go away, but clearly not so badly that I haven't mentioned it to a doctor in the past four years. I occasionally think I'd quite like to get my ears pierced, though, but if there's some kind of gristle that occasionally gets inflamed knocking around in there that seems like a bad idea.
SO excited about this. So many questions!
@sugar cubism me too! 100 in the box, plus this thread! and they're all from sweet wonderful awesome people.
Bravo! A place for a fellow RN to join in for some great reading. When people find out I am an RN; I get every question in the book. Unfortunately, my specialty is Psychiatry so it's kind of hard to answer anything but simple medical stuff.