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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

85

Your 2012 Baby Name Guide: Civil War General Edition

1. Cullen Andrews Battle

2. John “Old Wooden Head” Hood

3. Francis Asbury Shoup

4. Stand Watie

5. Gideon Johnson Pillow

6. Birkett Davenport Fry

7. Richard “Fighting Dick” Anderson

8. Leonidas “The Fighting Bishop” Polk

9. Charles “Savvy” Read

10. Daniel Ruggles

11. David Rumph Jones

12. Galusha Pennypacker

13. Wager Swayne

14. Edward Otho Cresap Ord

15. Ludwig Blenker

16. Amasa Cobb

17. Louis Trezevant Wigfall

18. Thomas Fentress Toon

19. Felix Kirk Zollicoffer

20. James “Sally” Archer

21. Cadwallader Colden Washburn

22. Samuel Kosciuszko Zook

23. Young Marshall Moody

24. John Seashoales Witcher

25. Amiel Weeks Whipple

26. Manning Force

27. Catharinus Buckingham

28. Absalom Baird

29. John Sappington Marmaduke

30. Bushrod Rust Johnson

31. William “Grumble” Jones

32. David Emanuel Twiggs

33. Cyrus Bussey

34. Egbert Ludovicus Viele

35. Carter Littlepage Stevenson

36. Jubal “Bad Old Man” Early

37. Zealous Tower

38. Benjamin “Spoons” Butler

39. Melancthon Wade

40. Pleasant Hackleman

41. Speed Fry

42. Thomas Moonlight

43. Jasper Adalmorn Maltby

44. DeWitt Littlejohn

45. Napoleon Bonaparte Buford

46. Richard “Uncle Dick” Oglesby

47. Strong Vincent

48. Alfred Archimedes Torbert

49. Victor Vifquain

50. William “Extra Billy” Smith

Sarah Marshall is a graduate student living in Portland, Oregon. She is distantly related to Robert E. Lee.

Photo by Lou Oates, via Shutterstock.



85 Comments / Post A Comment

theheckle

Tecumseh Beauregard doesn't even warrant a mention?

The Lady of Shalott

36. Jubal “Bad Old Man” Early

THERE IS A STORY HERE

Tuna Surprise

@The Lady of Shalott - There is! And thankfully he kept a blog about it...

http://jubalearly61.blogspot.com/2011/02/i-am-jubal-early.html

Don't Panic

@Tuna Surprise One of his descendants is Nathan Fillion! Which led to a character named Jubal Early on Firefly! That's a pretty good story, no?

PistolPackinMama

@Tuna Surprise What? What is up with the odd voice/tense switching going on over there in that blog? It's like Jubal Early is hearing voices or something.

What's the union preccccciiiioooouuuussssssss? We hates the grey! No we hates the blue!

Daisy Razor

@Don't Panic That is awesome. Firefly's Jubal Early was such a cool, creepy character.

Wookiee Hole

@Daisy Razor so great. He would have been a really cool (albeit somewhat far-fetched) returning character. *anguish*

Jill_Tata

47. Strong Vincent@k

JessicaLovejoy

51) BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH (don't lie, it fits right in)

Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that)

@JessicaLovejoy Ken Jennings tweeted this today: 'DID YOU KNOW? One in three British people is named "Benedict Cumberbatch."'

werewolfbarmitzvah

BUSHROD RUST JOHNSON?? I had to Google a few of these to make sure they're for real!

Bebe

@werewolfbarmitzvah It sounds like a porn star name!

ejcsanfran

@Bebe: You're thinking of Bushrod "Rusty Trombone" Johnson.

EpWs

@Bebe I don't know what this says about me, but I was making all of these into porn star names by about #2. "Old Wooden Head" indeed. Can we make this into a "make these into porn names" thread? Please?

ejcsanfran

Benjamin "Poons" Butler

EpWs

@ejcsanfran Catharinus Fuckingham

ejcsanfran

Gideon "Johnson Pillow" Johnson Pillow

ejcsanfran

Amiel Tweaks Nipple

EpWs

Ramming Force

EpWs

William "Extra Billy" Smith

PoBoyNation

David Emmanuel Twiggs-Berries

ejcsanfran

William "Extra Willy" Smith

ejcsanfran

Young Marshall Noody

PoBoyNation

Francis Assbury Shoop

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

Obvious, but: Richard “Fighting Dick” Anderson

I can't believe no one mentioned him in a whole day!

WaityKatie

I want to go back in time and marry Stand Watie, so I can be Waity Watie.

HeyThatsMyBike

@WaityKatie On your way back to the present, be sure to remember to make a pitstop to Kill Hitler!
I mean, I assume you and Stand will come back, what with the not being able to vote or own property, the crazy racism, the inability to read the Hairpin, and the fact that mass market tampons wouldn't be available for like another 80 years...

WaityKatie

@HeyThatsMyBike Is it wrong that the absence of Hairpin might bother me the most out of those things?

HeyThatsMyBike

@WaityKatie No. Who will tell you what to do with your Friday allowance??

MargotSpeaks

@WaityKatie I am related to Stand Watie! Or so says the family historian, my great-aunt.

WaityKatie

@MargotSpeaks I MAY be your great-great-great-grandmother!

HoneyWheeler

Very timely, since I found out today that we're having another boy. Bushrod? Zealous? Catharinus? All good possibilities.

Ophelia

@HoneyWheeler Don't rule out Alfred Archimedes. Think of how great that would be when he refuses to clean his room, won't eat his vegetables, etc.

catfoodandhairnets

@HoneyWheeler Aaaw, little baby bushrod!

Bebe

@HoneyWheeler Congratulations! And, don't rule out Galusha.

Megasus

Methuselah Cottonwood

remargaret

Zealous Tower is pretty good, in a "Pilot Inspektor" kind of way.

mabellegueule

@remargaret ZEALOUS TOWER!! I signed in only to write this :)

PistolPackinMama

@remargaret I was going to say, I kept going "no! That's awesome!" I pretty much peaked out at Zealous Tower. I want to go on a date with Zealous Tower. Haaaaaay, Zealous Tower.

slutberry

@PistolPackinMama I KNOW RIGHT

HeyThatsMyBike

I desperately want my nickname to be "Spoons," and have it be connected to me to the point that it is still associated with my actual name 150 years later.

PoBoyNation

@HeyThatsMyBike Funnily, I always knew him as Benjamin "Beast" Butler. He got that name when his administration occupied New Orleans, mostly because of the way he treated The Ladies. He issued an order "that if any woman should insult or show contempt for any officer or soldier of the United States, she shall be regarded and shall be held liable to be treated as a 'woman of the town plying her avocation.'" Quelle honte! And according to Wikipedia, "Spoons" came about because he (allegedly) took silverware from Southern homes in which he stayed.

Meanwhile he was also apparently a giant jerk about receiving runaway slaves who came into New Orleans.

applestoapples

26. What Peyton and Eli call their secret breakdance crew

(incidentally, their full given names are both very Civil War-esque)

thebestjasmine

James "Sally" Archer. I WANT TO KNOW WHY.

Ophelia

@thebestjasmine I was wondering whether it was "sally" in the ride out to war way, as opposed to "sally, the small pony" kind of way.

Galitzianer

@thebestjasmine I made an account just to say that according to Wikipedia, he was '[n]icknamed "Sally" at Princeton for his frail and slight physique'.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_J._Archer

roadtrips

AHHHH Gideon Johnson Pillow. I need to change my name now.

EpWs

@roadtrips My dog's name is Gideon. He now has a full name, thanks, Hairpin!

Library Ghost

Cherith Cutestory.

Dancercise

@Library Ghost
Lawyers of the sea...

Ophelia

I believe Stephenie Meyer came up with #1.

SarahP

@Ophelia There's a Jasper in there, too! Perhaps this is actually a plug for the upcoming movie.

travelmugs

@SarahP Oh man, I'm going to feel bad for all these Twilight-named kids when they're applying for jobs in 20 years.

travelmugs

Also, why did Harry Potter names never catch on? Hermione's not showing up on name lists any time soon.

EpWs

@travelmugs No one could figure out how to pronounce it. (inb4 "Renesmee")

Verity

@travelmugs My cousin is called Hermione! She was born in 1987, though, so no Harry Potter influence involved.

dtowngirl

I'm changing my middle name to "bad old man"

SarahP

Manning Force sounds like a character in a romance novel! ...or porn.

SarahP

@SarahP And why has no one commented on Speed Fry yet?! I have nothing witty to say about it, but I WANT TO HEAR WITTY THINGS.

Beericle

@SarahP Yep. Speed Fry is my fav too. I don't have anything funny/clever to say about it, except I would like to be referred to as 'Speed Fry' from here on out.

EpWs

@SarahP Please to join our porn names discussion upthread.

beams!

Extra Billy!

QuiteAmiable

I have a distant relative that was named Mellow Joseph. First and middle names but I like to say them together like one name.

ELECTROMAGNETIC CHAOS

EXTRA BILLY

edit: Beams!!!

Hot Doom

I think it's time to let you all know that my stage name is Galusha Pennypacker and I've been packin' pennies nightly since 1864.

Want Galusha's 2 cents?

oh, disaster

Speed Fry!

EpWs

@andrea disaster Great great grand-uncle of Philip J. Fry!

cuminafterall

Wow, these are even better than old-time baseball names!

(j/k! Freeman Osee Schreckengost, I'll always love you best.)

IceHouseLizzie

Is it just me or are these great names for cats!!??!

EpWs

@IceHouseLizzie Or falcons!

agba

@IceHouseLizzie I posted the same thing just below before reading your comment! YES.

agba

Oh I don't know what just happened to my comment, but: can I just (I wouldn't normally do this, but!) plug my blog, General Grier's Civil War, in which I chronicle the life, times, and letters of Union general David Perkins Grier! I came across Delanoe Cox the other day, which I may name my future cat if not child.

DMcK

"The Fighting Bishop" would be a good name for...*ahem* um, somebody's peen.

ejcsanfran

@DMcK: I was just fighting the bishop last night. He won...

sa3
sa3

another great one: States Rights Gist. Died at the battle of franklin http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/States_Rights_Gist

BattyRabbit

#10 reminds me of one of my coworkers, whose name is Bentley Ruggles. BENTLEY RUGGLES. Just say that. Say it once.

Tulletilsynet

Kenesaw Mountain Landis is a "Civil War baby" name; these here are Civil War adult names.

Tulletilsynet

(A baby named today will be old enough to be a Civil War general by what year?)

imperfectly11

all of these would seriously make awesome cat names
I think I'll go ahead and just re-name all of my cats now

SPEED FRY! haha

please check out my: sillykittyvideos(dot)com and don't hate me for the promote... cats cannot compete with hairpins

superdreaming

I actually made an account specifically to point out that "David Rumph Jones" might be the funniest name of all - just say it out loud. It sounds so grumpy! Rumph. Rumph. Rumph.
Also - William “Grumble” Jones - were they related??? Please tell me these are actually typical names for a particularly unpleasant branch of the Jones family.

backstagebethy

This is why I need to marry a good ol' boy, preferably one who plays the banjo and/or harmonica, so our sons can have awesome names. I guess a hipster would also work.

Glee

My middle son's name is Cullen. His great, great, etc uncle was Robert E. Lee.

Xanthophyllippa

Praisegod Barebones!

Oh, wait - wrong Civil War.

JIMMY

Some people get confused between trade secrets and trademarks. A trademark is something that is publicly recognized and known as being officially associated with a particular company. In contrast a trade secret can be a much more broad definition and by its very name is not made public. Finance

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