1. Cullen Andrews Battle
2. John “Old Wooden Head” Hood
3. Francis Asbury Shoup
4. Stand Watie
5. Gideon Johnson Pillow
6. Birkett Davenport Fry
7. Richard “Fighting Dick” Anderson
8. Leonidas “The Fighting Bishop” Polk
9. Charles “Savvy” Read
10. Daniel Ruggles
11. David Rumph Jones
12. Galusha Pennypacker
13. Wager Swayne
14. Edward Otho Cresap Ord
15. Ludwig Blenker
16. Amasa Cobb
17. Louis Trezevant Wigfall
18. Thomas Fentress Toon
19. Felix Kirk Zollicoffer
20. James “Sally” Archer
21. Cadwallader Colden Washburn
22. Samuel Kosciuszko Zook
23. Young Marshall Moody
24. John Seashoales Witcher
25. Amiel Weeks Whipple
26. Manning Force
27. Catharinus Buckingham
28. Absalom Baird
29. John Sappington Marmaduke
30. Bushrod Rust Johnson
31. William “Grumble” Jones
32. David Emanuel Twiggs
33. Cyrus Bussey
34. Egbert Ludovicus Viele
35. Carter Littlepage Stevenson
36. Jubal “Bad Old Man” Early
37. Zealous Tower
38. Benjamin “Spoons” Butler
39. Melancthon Wade
40. Pleasant Hackleman
41. Speed Fry
42. Thomas Moonlight
43. Jasper Adalmorn Maltby
44. DeWitt Littlejohn
45. Napoleon Bonaparte Buford
46. Richard “Uncle Dick” Oglesby
47. Strong Vincent
48. Alfred Archimedes Torbert
49. Victor Vifquain
50. William “Extra Billy” Smith
Sarah Marshall is a graduate student living in Portland, Oregon. She is distantly related to Robert E. Lee.
Photo by Lou Oates, via Shutterstock.
Tecumseh Beauregard doesn't even warrant a mention?
36. Jubal “Bad Old Man” Early
THERE IS A STORY HERE
@The Lady of Shalott - There is! And thankfully he kept a blog about it...
http://jubalearly61.blogspot.com/2011/02/i-am-jubal-early.html
@Tuna Surprise One of his descendants is Nathan Fillion! Which led to a character named Jubal Early on Firefly! That's a pretty good story, no?
@Tuna Surprise What? What is up with the odd voice/tense switching going on over there in that blog? It's like Jubal Early is hearing voices or something.
What's the union preccccciiiioooouuuussssssss? We hates the grey! No we hates the blue!
@Don't Panic That is awesome. Firefly's Jubal Early was such a cool, creepy character.
@Daisy Razor so great. He would have been a really cool (albeit somewhat far-fetched) returning character. *anguish*
51) BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH (don't lie, it fits right in)
@JessicaLovejoy Ken Jennings tweeted this today: 'DID YOU KNOW? One in three British people is named "Benedict Cumberbatch."'
BUSHROD RUST JOHNSON?? I had to Google a few of these to make sure they're for real!
@werewolfbarmitzvah It sounds like a porn star name!
@Bebe: You're thinking of Bushrod "Rusty Trombone" Johnson.
@Bebe I don't know what this says about me, but I was making all of these into porn star names by about #2. "Old Wooden Head" indeed. Can we make this into a "make these into porn names" thread? Please?
Benjamin "Poons" Butler
@ejcsanfran Catharinus Fuckingham
Gideon "Johnson Pillow" Johnson Pillow
Amiel Tweaks Nipple
Ramming Force
William "Extra Billy" Smith
David Emmanuel Twiggs-Berries
William "Extra Willy" Smith
Young Marshall Noody
Francis Assbury Shoop
Obvious, but: Richard “Fighting Dick” Anderson
I can't believe no one mentioned him in a whole day!
I want to go back in time and marry Stand Watie, so I can be Waity Watie.
@WaityKatie On your way back to the present, be sure to remember to make a pitstop to Kill Hitler!
I mean, I assume you and Stand will come back, what with the not being able to vote or own property, the crazy racism, the inability to read the Hairpin, and the fact that mass market tampons wouldn't be available for like another 80 years...
@HeyThatsMyBike Is it wrong that the absence of Hairpin might bother me the most out of those things?
@WaityKatie No. Who will tell you what to do with your Friday allowance??
@WaityKatie I am related to Stand Watie! Or so says the family historian, my great-aunt.
@MargotSpeaks I MAY be your great-great-great-grandmother!
Very timely, since I found out today that we're having another boy. Bushrod? Zealous? Catharinus? All good possibilities.
@HoneyWheeler Don't rule out Alfred Archimedes. Think of how great that would be when he refuses to clean his room, won't eat his vegetables, etc.
@HoneyWheeler Aaaw, little baby bushrod!
@HoneyWheeler Congratulations! And, don't rule out Galusha.
Methuselah Cottonwood
Zealous Tower is pretty good, in a "Pilot Inspektor" kind of way.
@remargaret ZEALOUS TOWER!! I signed in only to write this :)
@remargaret I was going to say, I kept going "no! That's awesome!" I pretty much peaked out at Zealous Tower. I want to go on a date with Zealous Tower. Haaaaaay, Zealous Tower.
@PistolPackinMama I KNOW RIGHT
I desperately want my nickname to be "Spoons," and have it be connected to me to the point that it is still associated with my actual name 150 years later.
@HeyThatsMyBike Funnily, I always knew him as Benjamin "Beast" Butler. He got that name when his administration occupied New Orleans, mostly because of the way he treated The Ladies. He issued an order "that if any woman should insult or show contempt for any officer or soldier of the United States, she shall be regarded and shall be held liable to be treated as a 'woman of the town plying her avocation.'" Quelle honte! And according to Wikipedia, "Spoons" came about because he (allegedly) took silverware from Southern homes in which he stayed.
Meanwhile he was also apparently a giant jerk about receiving runaway slaves who came into New Orleans.
26. What Peyton and Eli call their secret breakdance crew
(incidentally, their full given names are both very Civil War-esque)
@applestoapples I am quite literally LOL'ing.
James "Sally" Archer. I WANT TO KNOW WHY.
@thebestjasmine I was wondering whether it was "sally" in the ride out to war way, as opposed to "sally, the small pony" kind of way.
@thebestjasmine I made an account just to say that according to Wikipedia, he was '[n]icknamed "Sally" at Princeton for his frail and slight physique'.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_J._Archer
AHHHH Gideon Johnson Pillow. I need to change my name now.
@roadtrips My dog's name is Gideon. He now has a full name, thanks, Hairpin!
Cherith Cutestory.
@Library Ghost
Lawyers of the sea...
I believe Stephenie Meyer came up with #1.
@Ophelia There's a Jasper in there, too! Perhaps this is actually a plug for the upcoming movie.
@SarahP Oh man, I'm going to feel bad for all these Twilight-named kids when they're applying for jobs in 20 years.
Also, why did Harry Potter names never catch on? Hermione's not showing up on name lists any time soon.
@travelmugs No one could figure out how to pronounce it. (inb4 "Renesmee")
@travelmugs My cousin is called Hermione! She was born in 1987, though, so no Harry Potter influence involved.
I'm changing my middle name to "bad old man"
Manning Force sounds like a character in a romance novel! ...or porn.
@SarahP And why has no one commented on Speed Fry yet?! I have nothing witty to say about it, but I WANT TO HEAR WITTY THINGS.
@SarahP Yep. Speed Fry is my fav too. I don't have anything funny/clever to say about it, except I would like to be referred to as 'Speed Fry' from here on out.
@SarahP Please to join our porn names discussion upthread.
Extra Billy!
I have a distant relative that was named Mellow Joseph. First and middle names but I like to say them together like one name.
EXTRA BILLY
edit: Beams!!!
I think it's time to let you all know that my stage name is Galusha Pennypacker and I've been packin' pennies nightly since 1864.
Want Galusha's 2 cents?
Speed Fry!
@andrea disaster Great great grand-uncle of Philip J. Fry!
Wow, these are even better than old-time baseball names!
(j/k! Freeman Osee Schreckengost, I'll always love you best.)
Is it just me or are these great names for cats!!??!
@IceHouseLizzie Or falcons!
@IceHouseLizzie I posted the same thing just below before reading your comment! YES.
Oh I don't know what just happened to my comment, but: can I just (I wouldn't normally do this, but!) plug my blog, General Grier's Civil War, in which I chronicle the life, times, and letters of Union general David Perkins Grier! I came across Delanoe Cox the other day, which I may name my future cat if not child.
"The Fighting Bishop" would be a good name for...*ahem* um, somebody's peen.
@DMcK: I was just fighting the bishop last night. He won...
another great one: States Rights Gist. Died at the battle of franklin http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/States_Rights_Gist
#10 reminds me of one of my coworkers, whose name is Bentley Ruggles. BENTLEY RUGGLES. Just say that. Say it once.
Kenesaw Mountain Landis is a "Civil War baby" name; these here are Civil War adult names.
(A baby named today will be old enough to be a Civil War general by what year?)
all of these would seriously make awesome cat names
I think I'll go ahead and just re-name all of my cats now
SPEED FRY! haha
please check out my: sillykittyvideos(dot)com and don't hate me for the promote... cats cannot compete with hairpins
I actually made an account specifically to point out that "David Rumph Jones" might be the funniest name of all - just say it out loud. It sounds so grumpy! Rumph. Rumph. Rumph.
Also - William “Grumble” Jones - were they related??? Please tell me these are actually typical names for a particularly unpleasant branch of the Jones family.
This is why I need to marry a good ol' boy, preferably one who plays the banjo and/or harmonica, so our sons can have awesome names. I guess a hipster would also work.
My middle son's name is Cullen. His great, great, etc uncle was Robert E. Lee.
Praisegod Barebones!
Oh, wait - wrong Civil War.