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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

288

Sometimes State Quarters...

1. Sometimes state quarters feature the ultra spooky Headed Horseman. (Delaware)

2. Sometimes state quarters Vogue, Vogue, Strike a Pose. (Pennsylvania)

3. Sometimes state quarters were wondering if it’d be cool for them to bring a couple bros along? (New Jersey)

4. Sometimes state quarters demand you prostrate yourself before the Mighty Peach of Justice. (Georgia)

5. Sometimes state quarters prefer to think of trees as “sea anemones of the land.” (Connecticut)

6. Sometimes state quarters are waiting –just waiting– for shit to pop off. (Massachusetts)

7. Sometimes state quarters try to make a self-invented nickname happen, but everyone knows it won't. (Maryland)

8. Sometimes state quarters provide portals into nightmarish hellscapes where birds big as trees stalk the coast. (South Carolina)

9. Sometimes state quarters would like to know what moisturizer you use and do you like it? (New Hampshire)

10. Sometimes state quarters are really putting the Williamsburg in Colonial Williamsburg by reminding you that they started hanging around America back when it was still a locally-owned neighborhood place. (Virginia)

11. Sometimes it’s like state quarters didn’t even try. (New York)

12. Sometimes state quarters took forever to get through security and missed their flight. (North Carolina)

13. Sometimes state quarters know you only invited them because you thought they were San Francisco. (Rhode Island)

14. Sometimes state quarters are just so Vermont. (Vermont)

15. Sometimes state quarters should have reconsidered the quotation marks around their caption because it kind of makes it look like Mr. Ed is talking. (Kentucky)

16. Sometimes state quarters would like to invite you to a Country Bear Jamboree. (Tennessee)

17. Sometimes state quarters totally bit off North Carolina’s thing, then had to add a spaceman at the last minute so they wouldn’t look super dumb. (Ohio)

18. Sometimes state quarters have too much wine with dinner and slur things like “My family used to own this place! We used to could buy this whole town!” (Louisiana)

19. Sometimes state quarters love cars and stars. (Indiana)

20. Sometimes state quarters aren’t crying because they’re sad. They’re crying because they just watched Steel Magnolias. (Mississippi)

21. Sometimes state quarters knew Abraham Lincoln back in his younger days, when he still went by Dick Whitman. (Illinois)

22. Sometimes state quarters were just as surprised as you to learn Helen Keller was from Alabama. (Alabama)

23. Sometimes state quarters seem to have ripped their imagery right from the calendar you bought at the dollar store on January 3. (Maine)

24. Sometimes state quarters make Missouri look like an AWESOME ADVENTURELAND. (Missouri)

25. Sometimes state quarters are a girl’s best friend. (Arkansas)

26. Sometimes state quarters would argue that having four really great lakes is better than having ten-thousand normal ones, Minnesota, just saying. (Michigan)

27. Sometimes state quarters didn’t catch what you just said because they were daydreaming about a Pirates vs. Aliens ultimate spacefight showdown. (Florida)

28. Sometimes state quarters really hammer home the point. (Texas)

29. Sometimes state quarters invented the very first building! (Iowa)

30. Sometimes state quarters can only work with what you give them. (Wisconsin)

31. Sometimes state quarters would like to drop a quick hypothetical on you: What if a scarecrow came to life? Where would he go? What would he see? (California)

32. Sometimes state quarters are brought to you by proud sponsor Land O’Lakes. (Minnesota)

33. Sometimes state quarters forgot to Put a Bird On It. (Oregon)

34. Sometimes state quarters wish they had known you were allergic to sunflowers but they can only apologize so many times. (Kansas)

35. Sometimes state quarters think your new river is gorge! Loves it! (West Virginia)

36. Sometimes state quarters were designed by Bronys. (Nevada)

37. Sometimes state quarters would rather be playing Oregon Trail. (Nebraska)

38. Sometimes state quarters forget that the only color you can see on a quarter is silver. (Colorado)

39. Sometimes state quarters are so hungry and this grass is delicioussssss numnumnum! (North Dakota)

40. Sometimes state quarters thought they could draw Jefferson freehand, from memory. (South Dakota)

41. Sometimes state quarters wish to remind bison to keep off private property. (Montana)

42. Sometimes state quarters would just like to point out that, really, every quarter is a Washington state quarter when you think about it. (Washington)

43. Sometimes state quarters thought a potato would look dumb. (Idaho)

44. Sometimes state quarters remind you of a charm bracelet you bought at Claire’s. (Wyoming)

45. Sometimes state quarters make trains look so bad-ass and confrontational that they inspire Trainsformers, an old-timey Transformers spin-off. (Utah)

46. Sometimes state quarters didn’t want to spring for the full bird tail. (Oklahoma)

47. Sometimes state quarters are trying to be soooo mystical. (New Mexico)

48. Sometimes state quarters are overly ambitious, given their limited design space. (Arizona)

49. Sometimes state quarters will die a hero's death rescuing a fish from quicksand. (Alaska)

50. Sometimes state quarters are all, “Mele Kalikimaka, Roman centurion!” (Hawaii)

51. Sometimes state quarters took a risk by depicting a random man sitting at a piano named "Duke Ellington" instead of Duke Ellington sitting at a random piano. (District of Columbia)

Previously: Sometimes State Flags...

Caity Weaver would like to write for you. Watch her practice on Twitter.



288 Comments / Post A Comment

wee_ramekin

YES! THIS!

I have been waiting for another one of these columns since last year! I'm so excited!

Mk, gonna go read the article now :). I hope my state's quarter is featured. Connecticut has the prettiest quarter hands-down.

wee_ramekin

Okay, while my assertion above about Connecticut is still 100% true, I would consider challenges from Utah or Mississippi.

empem

@wee_ramekin ditto!

also, if a scarecrow came to life he would *totally* go to california. just sayin'.

Bittersweet

@wee_ramekin: The CT quarter is loads better than the UConn logo, which looks more than vaguely like a tree penis.

wee_ramekin

@Bittersweet Hahaha, oh my gosh, it does!

As a Connecticutian, I have such a special place in my heart for oak trees/leaves. There's the Charter Oak, of course (if you don't know the tale, click that link. It is The Best Tale.), but there was also an oak tree in my school's courtyard that was at least a hundred years old, and it was part of my school's logo. One year, a storm blew it over, and my mom's boyfriend, who is a woodworker, made me a pen from our school's white oak, and it was really special.

That was a really boring story. Sorry. I just love oak trees! Also, they have acorns! GAH!

HoliandIvy

@wee_ramekin
Connecticut, represent!
It IS the Charter Oak, right? But shagbark would also have been rad.
http://www.ctenvirothon.org/images/07soilsforestry/08ShagbarkHickory.jpg

wee_ramekin

@HoliandIvy Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyy fellow Nutmegger!

Yes! The oak tree on the Connecticut quarter is the Charter Oak!

Quick Brown Fox

@wee_ramekin

Connecticut in the hizzouse! I have a special place in my heart for oak trees too, but also for sycamores, because my town has the largest sycamore in Connecticut (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinchot_Sycamore). It's so pretty that we like to claim it was the model for the Charter Oak on our state quarter!

And this is also a boring story. But we are Nutmeggers and should be proud of our boring stories. It's the Land of Steady Habits, not the Land of Exciting Stories!

wee_ramekin

@Quick Brown Fox That is a gorgeous tree. I kind of heart that we're from a state that commemorates something as boring and steady as trees.

"The Land of Steady Habits"! I did not know this was a Connecticut Thing! This explains so much about my life! Now I can tell people that I hate change, and when they tell me to loosen up, I'll just tell them I'm from the Land of Steady Habits.

raised amongst catalogs

@wee_ramekin Connecticut is pretty, indeed, but Vermont has the only quarter that I have stared at for way too long, wishing I could shrink myself down and live inside of its picture.

t-square

@wee_ramekin I am one of Steady Habits! Never exciting stories. Although now I live in Atlanta and I was excited that my two state quarters were next to one another in this post. And also MA, where I went to school! And I love oak trees - enough that we had oak leaves, maple leaves, and acorns on our wedding cake.

Bittersweet

@wee_ramekin: I'm not from CT, but went to undergrad at Conn College and worked at the UConn business school while my husband finished his masters, so have a special place in my heart for it. Plus my grandmother lived in Madison a mile from Hammonassett and I would buy her old house in a SECOND if I had the money,

thebestjasmine

@wee_ramekin I was just coming to comment that Connecticut totally has the prettiest state quarter. And I have no Connecticut connection (hee) so am not biased.

wee_ramekin

@thebestjasmine Except you DO have a Connecticut connection...you have me! :)

jhonsons

Love is not everything, it is the only thing. @j

becky@twitter

rhode island trying to be san fransisco? RI can't even say 'holiday tree' without people getting up in arms. not even close.

Katie Heaney

Looking at my pretty state (MN) quarter kind of just made me cry????? It's been a weird morning.

Katie Heaney

@Katie Heaney "I bet those fishermen are father and son. Awwww!" - me five minutes ago.

wee_ramekin

@Katie Heaney Aw, hun. Did your period take you to Forever 21 again? :(

[ETA: Eep! I hope I am coming across as sympathetic and not a juicebox!]

Katie Heaney

@wee_ramekin <3 Wee I don't think you could come across as a juicebox if you tried.

PistolPackinMama

@Katie Heaney And the loon! The loon! And the pine trees! *love*

Also, I like to say Minnesota sponsored Land O' Lakes, and not the other way around, but whatever. Corporations are going to rule us all anyway. Soon there will be Sometimes a Best Buy Quarter... and Sometimes a Valvoline Quarter, so we might as well lead the way!

ALSO, there are an awful lot of Gateways To and Pioneers In and Crossroads Of on these here quarters. Where are the "Minnesota: Consistently Being Pleasant and Reliable While Providing Lumber" coins?

highjump

@Katie Heaney Minnesota has such a pretty state quarter. And Michigan cannot just have Lake Superior. It is ours too. And Canada's. Plus all those other lakes are awesome.

PistolPackinMama

@highjump Truly. Michigan has never been up to Mille Lacs, has it? Because it would keep its mouth shut, if it had.

highjump

@PistolPackinMama This is an important truth! Here is their flikr stream: http://www.millelacs.com/photogallery.htm The many lakes in MN have such different personalities. Mille Lacs vs. Lake of the Woods vs. Leech Lake vs. The Chain of Lakes (in my hometown, Alexandria) vs. Lake Superior. A different lake experience for every mood.

propermake

getting connecticut one always makes me really happy. so pretty. and now i want kentucky. i also love the kentucky smiling sun license plate.

EpWs

@propermake Kentucky girl here, those smiley sun plates were the BANE OF OUR COLLECTIVE EXISTENCE. (That governor went a little off the deep end at the end of his term...) It was kind of hysterical watching what everyone covered them up with. (Only proper use of those bullet-hole stickers, btw.) We're that friendly!

propermake

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher i know. i remember my friend simon (from kentucky) saying that they were a ploy by the government to sell more custom plates.

they still make me smile if i see one on the highway though. and any postmarket edits are a plus. i have a short attention span and i need entertainment wherever i can get it.

Equestrienne

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I love Kentucky! "My Old Kentucky Home" is my ringtone! I live in Pennsylvania. P.S. Why no bourbon on your quarter?

EpWs

@Equestrienne I have NO IDEA. Clearly, the horse should've been sipping with one hoof and smoking a cigarette with the other. (We <3 vices!) But my state is awesome, thank you for the love!

susiequsie

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Fellow Kentuckian here! GOD THOSE LICENSE PLATES! I hadn't thought of them in so long!! I maintain that the only good thing Ernie Fletcher did was change them to the current one...though now I must admit, I do kind of miss seeing those smiling suns.

@Equestrienne - I love "My Old Kentucky Home" too! I live in DC now and any time I miss home, I definitely pull it up on youtube and get a little weepy.

EpWs

@susiequsie KENTUCKY PINNER! I was convinced I was the only one.

susiequsie

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher "youu are nott alooooone!" :)

Frankie's Girl

@propermake @The Everpresent Wordsnatcher and susiequsie

I'm a native Kentuckian, and miss it terribly! I still have my blue and white Churchill Downs plates hanging over my garage door... the happy sun plates was weeeeeiirrd and I'm glad I was not there to get those...

kirota

@propermake Thanks for the auspicious writeup.I love this blog, it always makes me laugh
asdsf
crystal x asli

honeybadger

that dick whitman remark made me snort coffee out my nose. thanks. thanks a lot.

Lily Rowan

@honeybadger ME TOO! Except Diet Coke and my mouth, almost.

Lily Rowan

@Lily Rowan And then DC basically made me laugh out loud, but at least I was done with drinking by then.

Bittersweet

@Lily Rowan: Made me laugh, but then mad because there are MORE quarters to collect? But there's no room in my special Green Collectible Quarter Folder! /coin dork spazz

atipofthehat

@honeybadger

I snorted green tea!

bangs
bangs

@honeybadger Yes, I should not have tried to eat cereal while reading this.

PistolPackinMama

@Xaxa It's so hard to get dry milk and cornflakes fragments out of a keyboard. Or so I was told by a friend.

Nutmeg

@Lily Rowan MOST PAINFUL LAUGH/SNORT

bangs
bangs

@PistolPackinMama That's the beauty of an iPad. Wipes right off.

Faintly Macabre

@Bittersweet When I was little, I carefully put the nicest of each state quarter I found in a special book-thing I'd been given. I recently found the book-thing, thought, "Ooh, quarters!" and dumped them into my change jar. I'm sorry.

oh, george

@honeybadger I snored into my sick protection face mask because I live in asia and my boss makes us wear them during flu season... so basically I can read all the funny stuff I want now at work and nobody will know! secret funnieees.

Lily Rowan

@rora That's.... kind of brilliant. We should try to get them to catch on here!

oh, george

@Lily Rowan WE SHOULD. I was really adverse to wearing the mask but now I kind of love it because I can laugh at all the inappropriate times and also rock my unhappy neutral face without worrying about people asking what's wrong. I'm into the mask for all the wrong reasons, basically.

one cow.

I am confused by the Illinois quarter! I can't wrap my mind around "21st State Century." Can someone explain? I'm serious.

Also, DICK WHITMAN! Brill.

wee_ramekin

@one cow. I also had a lot of questions/Feelings about that one!

becky@twitter

@one cow. illinois was the 21st state to join the union and the '/century' was supposed to denote how long they were a member of the union. at least i think.

The Lady of Shalott

@one cow. Illinois was the 21st state admitted to the Union, and now they falsely believe they can make a motto out of it. You know, like "21st state for the 21st century?"

Note, Illinois: "21st State Century" doesn't make any sense. Now stop calling me to jury duty, I don't live in you any more.

becky@twitter

@one cow. google tells me that it stands for their past and future (21st state to enter the union, 21st century future). doesn't make much sense to me.

what @The Lady of Shalott said.

Veronica Mars is smarter than me

@one cow. Best I could come up with was that the 21st applied to both? E.g. "21st State/21st Century." Like, Land of Lincoln is pumped for this century? idk.

[ETA: what everyone else said, basically]

wharrgarbl

As a denizen of La Florida, I'd like to take a moment to tell you all that you're lucky we didn't pick the "Mickey Mouse humping an orange" design just to spite California.

All Mimsy

@wharrgarbl
Mickey humping an orange would have been wonderful!

wharrgarbl

@All Mimsy Sorry, all you get is a space ship about to bew!bew!bew! a pirate ship. Please address all complaints to Titusville c/o whoever is now in charge of the space ships that we're not really using anymore.

All Mimsy

@wharrgarbl
Well that's good too, though Mickey would have been funnier.

wharrgarbl

@All Mimsy Maybe when the treasury gets bored and lets everyone have another round of state quarters.

We've got dibs, Cali. And it's not like dibsing a person. This is an object. This dibs must be respected under Dibs Law.

All Mimsy

@wharrgarbl
I think you have dibs anyways. You have Disney World, all they have is Disney Land.

wharrgarbl

@All Mimsy True story: Disney was so infuriated by what California did to his precious vision that he bought fiefdomship from Florida so that it could never happen again.

All Mimsy

@wharrgarbl
Hehe. I have never been to Disney Land but I have been to Disney World twice. Which is weird since I live one state up from California.
I have to go, I'm in class and the teacher has finally showed up.
It's a shame I have things to do, I love stuff like this.

wharrgarbl

@All Mimsy I don't know if it still is, but it used to be the Official DisneyCorp Line that Walt was absolutely livid about the way California had let Disneyland get all Vegased up, and that's what prompted him to buy All The Land when he built Disney World. He was hellbent on making sure you couldn't see anything he hadn't approved, let alone the fleabag motel you're staying in to offset the cost of park-tickets and travel, from park grounds.

Ophelia

Hahahahahaha FLORIDA!

Also, my uncles (in MA) definitely dress up as Minutemen for Patriots' Day and march to Lexington & Concord...so, yes. We ARE waiting to pop shit off.

Bittersweet

@Ophelia: ...and do so after every Patriots touchdown and every out-of-stater's attempt to pronounce "Leominster" and "Peabody."

Ophelia

@Bittersweet and Billerica and Cotuit.

Bittersweet

@Ophelia: and Worcester and Quincy.

celacia

@Bittersweet Or _spell_ Worcester, for that matter. "There's an h in there somewhere! I know it! There has to be!"

cherrispryte

THE UTAH QUARTER LOOKS LIKE SEX.

Also, I'm tickled to see DC finally included in something!

wee_ramekin

@cherrispryte HA! I momentarily forgot that the expression "looks like sex" = "awesome", and so I went back and looked at it and was like "Well, huh. I mean, I guueeeeeess that railroad nail could be a penis, and then uh...the two trains could be the labia around the vagina that is formed in the negative space. I...I guess? WHY AM I SO BAD AT THIS?! This is why I was unpopular in high school! (starts to panic)".

And then I realized what you actually meant. Which I agree with, by the way!

cherrispryte

@wee_ramekin Oh, I totally meant it literally looks like sex. Especially if the mountains are knees?

wee_ramekin

@cherrispryte AH! OH MY GOD! I SEE IT NOW! You're so right!

PistolPackinMama

@wee_ramekin You were unpopular in high school because you went to high school with fools. Obviously.

(Also, that totally looks like sex... and I can't unsee it.)

wallsdonotfall

@wee_ramekin I have been away for a while and this comment reminded me that I missed you.

wee_ramekin

@wallsdonotfall

*blushes* Hee!

I was wondering where you had been! I got scared that maybe your New Year's resolution was to quit us.

redheaded&crazy

@wee_ramekin WHAT! As if this could be a real new year's resolution! aren't they intended to better one's life?!

angelinha

@wee_ramekin Hahaha! DOES the expression "looks like sex" ever actually mean "is awesome?"

wee_ramekin

@klibberfish Ha! Well, people have told me that I "look like sex" when I get dressed up all hawt, so I just figured it was like, a DC/cherrispyrte-social-circle thing to extend it to an attractive state quarter.

cherrispryte

@wee_ramekin You do realize my social circle is pretty much me standing alone, right? :)

applestoapples

The Old Man is gone, New Hampshire. Time to change your coin to the Ordinary Cliff by That One Lake.

Ophelia

@applestoapples Some state quarters don't want to admit they had a nose job-gone-wrong?

sakade

@applestoapples Some state quarters are STILL REALLY UPSET ABOUT THE OLD MAN and can't let it go, even though it happened IN 2003.

Don't mind me. I'll just be chilling over here with my Old Man of the Mountain bobble head and commemorative mug. NO REALLY I'M FINE.

klemay

@applestoapples Some state quarters don't really have any thing else to depict. I mean, unless you can somehow draw our "first-in-the-nation" primary?

oh, george

@applestoapples yeah what the hell would their new quarter even look like? keene state students doing keg stands? a car with a nascar bumper sticker on it?

wee_ramekin

@rora Someone "living free" with a delighted expression on their face. Next to them, someone else wearing a seatbelt, and being stabbed violently in the face because they are not "living free".

LIVE FREE OR DIE, BITCHES.

Emby

WELL SORRY WE COULDN'T FIT ALL OF ARIZONA'S GLORY ON A QUARTER. WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN A 50-CENT PIECE, OK??

I am a teensy bit homesick for the desert.

Xanthophyllippa

@Emby I hear you. I've only spent a weekend there but am still homesick for seguaro cactus and the Grand Canyon. (Had a massive case of Rock Shock that sucked me into absolute love.)

EpWs

Started having to stifle my hysterical laughter at South Carolina and haven't stopped.

The Lady of Shalott

It IS better to have four great lakes than ten thousand little ones!!! Where are my Michigan 'pinners?

Smallison

@The Lady of Shalott Wolverine State, represent!

Gertrude

@The Lady of Shalott If you seek a pleasant peninsula...

SongToSing

@The Lady of Shalott But... but... we have FIVE Great Lakes.

The Lady of Shalott

@SongToSing But Michigan doesn't border Lake Ontario.

highjump

@The Lady of Shalott Minnesota has Lake Superior as well as twelve thousand other lakes! When I am in Minnesota I am never more than a 20 minute drive from a decent sized lake, the convenience factor is important. How often do you use your giant lakes? And the Great Lakes are jointly managed with Canada as well as Minnesota and Wisconsin and Ohio and New York anyway! I want to give Michiganders something to be proud of, but the Great Lakes are not just yours!

PistolPackinMama

@highjump They do live in a state shaped like a mitten, with a discontinuous extra bit. That's pretty cool.

highjump

@PistolPackinMama I heard that the UP is supposed to be a rabbit? That is pretty cool. My favorite thing about Michigan is the cherries. Why are there not cherries on the state quarter?

Patrices Pieces

@The Lady of Shalott Michigan officially got the lamest quarter design. I was really disappointed when it came out. I think a Motown theme, or a model T or something would have been a little more interesting. Having said that, our lakes are totally the best, and btw Minnesotans, we also have thousands more lakes we aren't mentioning.

PistolPackinMama

@ballbiscuit Evidently, Michigan is a state that mistakenly things size is what matters when lake-bragging.

In addition to its lakes, Minnesota is in an environmental in-between zone. Along with Northern Woodland, we have rolling short grass prairie, whitefish AND bison. The Dakota were the Sioux people who hunted buffalo AND used birch canoes for transport. How cool is that?

Also... the Mississippi river originates in our state. Speaking of major water traffic ways.

@highjump Also pasties

The Lady of Shalott

@highjump Michigan has over 11,000 inland lakes AND four Great Lakes. And you are never more than 6 miles from a source of freshwater!

sparrow303

@The Lady of Shalott AND you always have a map in your pocket. Perfect!

Ex-pat here, but Michigan totally does have the best lakes. Don't deny it.

SuperGogo

@The Lady of Shalott Yes M!ch!gan! The feeling's forever....

PistolPackinMama

@fishiefishfish I do deny it. But I don't deny that after @die_Auflaufformchen/minikins/ramekinlet/diminutive_crockery/wee_ramekin, you have pretty much the best username ever.

Fishiefishfish!

nerdicity

sometimes hairpin columns make you giggle incoherently for 20 minutes...

Maria

For the record: it is AWESOME ADVENTURELAND.

tbird

I see that Maryland was forced to compensate for having the awesomest, best state flag by having the most boring quarter!

wee_ramekin

@tbird I can honestly say that the most horrible thing would be a GIF of the Maryland state flag waving and waving and waving and waving...

Can you imagine the seizures that would induce?

Ophelia

@tbird I always think it'd make more sense for Indiana to have Maryland's state flag, since it looks like it belongs at a car race.

EpWs

@wee_ramekin /seizure

Xanthophyllippa

@wee_ramekin It would make for some really awesome bike racing gear, though.

Petrichoria

Um, SCUSE ME.

Ohio is not cribbing on North Carolina, okay? The Wright Brothers were born in Dayton, Ohio. As were the most astronauts and the most presidents in the history of everything!

Step off Ohio is all I'm saying, okay? We will cut you. Then we'll invite you in for some pierogies.

editrickster

@LaFabuliste or some Skyline Chili.

redheaded&crazy

@LaFabuliste You really can't trust anything people say if you let us know up front we'll get pierogies after!

I THINK OHIO IS GREAT WHERE MAH PIEROGIES WOMAN.

Bebe

@LaFabuliste I have a theory that everyone you meet in the US has some sort of Ohio connection if you scratch the surface. Ohio is the Kevin Bacon of states! (Also, please pass the pierogies).

Annabelle

@LaFabuliste WHOA. Whoa. While we're on the state rivalry train, what is this about having the most presidents??? That would be Virginia. (You can't have William Henry Harrison! He's ours!)

You have astronauts! Nothing is cooler than astronauts! So you can let us have the presidents, right? Good. Glad that's settled.

Violet Strange

@Annabelle Hey! Harrison chose to serve in both Houses of Congress as a representative of OHIO, not Virginia, and was the first congressional delegate for the Northwest Territory, full name "Territory Northwest of the River Ohio". Don't make me call my 4th grade history teacher to back me up on this. Presidents were seriously A Thing with her.

Of course the plane just reminds me of the joke frequently mentioned by grade school classmates that the Wright brothers really invented the plane so they'd have a faster way out of Ohio. Astronauts? Just trying to get further away. (Yes, I have a love/hate relationship with my home state. Why do you ask?)

apples and oranges

Ahh I love that North Carolina and Ohio have the Wright Brothers battle on their quarters in addition to their license plates. NC plates say "First in Flight" and OH plates say "Birthplace of Aviation." I don't know why, but it always cracks me up. One of my most gleeful driving moments was being behind a NC car and an OH car in the other lane.

The Arizona and New Mexico quarters really make me want to go to the desert.

theharpoon

@kangerine I love that this comment is preceded by a Ohio-an trying to start that fight again.

ps I also love that fight, it cracks me up.

Alixana

@theharpoon Yeah, I almost started that fight from the North Carolina perspective, but decided to let it slide. Of course Ohioans can't ever let it slide, since stealing our claim to fame is the only interesting thing that ever happened in Ohio.

Marzipan

@kangerine Okay, the license plate thing WAS really lame until Ohio changed their license plate to be AWESOME and the PRETTIEST and downplaying the birthplace of aviation thing to a tasteful, normal level, thereby WINNING the license plate fight. North Carolina can have the quarter win, I don't even care.

Seriously, I freakin' love my license plate and even though I kind of live in PA now I would never think of switching.

SuperGogo

@Alixana Don't forget they also "won" the Toledo War and kept that armpit of a city whilst we Michiganders got the gorgeous Upper Peninsula as a consolation prize. Suckers.

PistolPackinMama

@Marzipan I personally think the Rhode Island wave wins for best license plate. And the older New Mexico one that just looks like the flag. They are lovely graphic design- simple and elegant.

laurel

New Mexico's statehood centennial was last Friday!

EpWs

@laurel Happy birthday!

alsoknownas

@kangerine No way, Tennessee license plates win hands down! I'm not even from there. What other state could compete for the best use of mystical haze on a license plate?? NO OTHERS is the answer.

AnalogMetronome

@PistolPackinMama Rhode Island always has prettiest stuff (the license plate! that subtle aqua wave!) because they just make everything a contest for RISD and a young brilliant design student makes something stunning. Or at least that's how I imagine it works.

AnalogMetronome

@alsoknownas I dunno, I live in Tennessee and Rhode Island is still my favorite. It is a close call, though. Both are better than North Carolina (my home state). I wish they would give it up already with the aviation. Maybe it is because I grew up with it, but I have ceased to be impressed.

Tulletilsynet

@MademoiselleML
Little known fact, but West Tennessee and Middle Tennessee actually have subtly different automobile license plates; in East Tennessee the people use Georgia plates or those of wherever they stole the car from. (Agriculture & Commerce, represent.)

becky@twitter

i just learned that arkansas is home to the crater of diamonds state park, the oldest diamond mine in north america, hence the diamond on the quarter.

'crater of diamonds state park' also sounds like something stereotypically a caricature of an arkansas resident would name a diamond mine they found.

Ophelia

@becky@twitter Crater of Diamonds is what I want to call the Lifetime movie about Liz Taylor, starring Lindsay Lohan.

EpWs

@becky@twitter That quarter says "diamond," I say "alarming but undeniable alien spacecraft hovering above Arkansas."

Lady Humungus

LIVE FREE OR DIE is my favorite state slogan ever. It seems to always be written in caps, so I always shout it in my head.

I'm not from New Hampshire.

sakade

@Jengraf_80 Personally, I prefer "Live Free AND Die", considering our lack of seatbelt/helmet laws and our tendency to place our liquor stores directly next to major highways. Also, guns.

wee_ramekin

@sakade Also, voting Republican even though you guys are in NEW ENGLAND.

I will never forgive you guys for voting for Bush in 2000. Never.

EpWs

@wee_ramekin They can make it up to us by not voting for a crazy person today, right, New Hampshire? Right?

laurel

@Jengraf_80 It's not just the NH state motto, it's also the Republican health care plan.

Ophelia

@sakade Please don't move your liquor stores. They are so convenient to the state line!

JessicaLovejoy

"Caesar Rodney" will be new fake ordering coffee-or-food name FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.

Ophelia

@JessicaLovejoy OMG, I actually know someone whose first/middle names are Caesar Rodney! And he's from Delaware. I had NO idea this was a historical name instead of just a weird one. This makes SO much more sense now.

theharpoon

Sometimes it sounds like somebody met a hilarious drunk juicebox in Louisiana.

Tulletilsynet

@theharpoon
It sounds just like what the the Paul Newman character in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof would sound like 40 years later, when he has become Big Daddy.

Mendacity!

All Mimsy

I live in Washington, and I think this is the first time I've seen the washington quarter... All I can think is "MISREPRESENTATION!!!"
I live in a dessert, and I've never seen a fish do that in my life. I will allow that there are mountains here, but not all of them are fabulous like that one.

fondue with cheddar

@All Mimsy Ooh, what kind of dessert? Is it chocolate? I hope it's chocolate!

All Mimsy

@jen325
Gods damn it! I meant desert. Damn spell check.

fondue with cheddar

@All Mimsy Does that mean no chocolate? Aww...

All Mimsy

@jen325
If it was a dessert it would be something with fruit, or maybe wine. There are a lot of orchards, vineyards, and farms around here.

EpWs

@jen325 Now I just want chocolate.

All Mimsy

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher
So do I. Alas, all I have with me is a fruit & nut granola bar, and the vending machines here are overpriced.

Alixana

@All Mimsy Aww, I just got back from visiting family in Olympia and I thought the Washington quarter looks exactly like Olympia! So many evergreens.

karion

@All Mimsy: Um. Are you aware that there are places in Washington that are quite green, mountainous, and quite near an inlet called Puget Sound, which is full of fish.

In fact, almost no one except those who live east of the mountains would ever, EVER associate Washington with a desert. Washington is actually known for the exact things on that quarter.

I am baffled by your comment.

fondue with cheddar

@All Mimsy There is a Dunkin' Donuts in my building. This is the best and worst thing.

EpWs

@jen325 AND NOW I WANT DONUTS. With chocolate and sprinkles please. (Damn this period/resolution to eat better starting two days ago...)

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I got myself a lowfat blueberry muffin because it makes me feel less guilty. It didn't help, though, because I still want chocolate.

EpWs

@jen325 Chocolate is chocolate, dude, there is no substitute. Also, a DUNKIN' DONUTS IN THE BUILDING? I would not make it. You are stronger than I am.

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher IT'S SO HARD! I do have to go outside to get there, so that helps a bit. The worst part is when a coworker says, "I'm going to Dunkin', does anybody want anything?" BECAUSE I CAN NEVER SAY NO.

You know what else is dangerous? The Panzarotti baker/distributor is in my building too, so I get to smell that every time I go outside. It's a wonder I can keep my weight under 200 pounds.

I have chocolate at home, but it's cheap no-name chocolate and I just can't. Sometimes chocolate is not chocolate.

All Mimsy

@karion
YeahI know Washington is known for that stuff, but its all in the west, I live in the east. Which is a large hilly desert.

EpWs

@jen325 Oh, I know--I was saying that blueberries are not chocolate. In a roundabout way.

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I got what you were saying. It's just that you made me think about the "chocolate" I have at home. My boyfriend eats it and I get so jealous that he can enjoy it and I can't.

EpWs

@jen325 The boy and I have both decided that we're going to make a concerted effort to get more in shape this year. We'll see how that goes. (I'm buying an elliptical tomorrow!)

KikiCollins

@All Mimsy And all of us over here on the west (the best! Holla!) side of the state really feel for ya guys. :P

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Good luck!! I've always had trouble with ellipticals because they hurt my knees. I know the whole point is that they're not supposed to, but maybe it's because I'm so short? I want to get back into walking, but it's so damn cold outside now and I'm a wuss.

EpWs

@jen325 I had pretty good luck with them when I was actually going to the free campus gym in college. My issue is my ankles, which are totally useless, so if I can avoid moving my feet at all that's the best plan.

And I feel you on the wussing out/cold thing. Nobody wants to be out in that.

fondue with cheddar

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Ooh, yeah...that would make it tough. I'm glad you found a solution!

I may have found one too; I just got the Kinect add-on for my Xbox, and there are lots of exercise games for it. That kind of thing works well for me because it's more interactive than a video and easier/cheaper than going to a gym. I did Wii Fit for awhile, but it just wasn't challenging enough. I have a good feeling about this!

theharpoon

Also that Missouri quarter is a gross misrepresentation because you cannot canoe through the arch.

ms. alex

@theharpoon But wouldn't that be the best?

applestoapples

@theharpoon You could until they closed it off to evil man-enslaving aliens, as documented in the film Stargate.

Bittersweet

@ms. alex: Better than going up in the arch, at least for us acrophobiacs...

koume

I'm glad to see that Wisconsin at least, is bringing the cowbell. I gotta have more cowbell!

roadtrips

@koume Wisconsin is basically just one big state fair, really.

Porn Peddler

Some of these are fucking hilarious. Are gold dollars next? (people in Rochester still get a major kick out of them, whereas I see them as "the shit that tumbles out of the metrocard machine into an unwieldy pile in my wallet)

Also, all this nonsense about water-- why not have Niagara falls, mad rivers, the Finger Lakes, one great lake, ocean, sound, bay, and harbors all in one state? SORRY YA CANT ALL BE NEW YORK.

propermake

@Third Wave Housewife finger lakes holla!

EpWs

@Third Wave Housewife YES, the US Mint is making gold dollars with every president's face on them! (Except they've apparently stopped because the Mint is broke? #thingsyoulearnonNPR)

Lily Rowan

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher Seriously don't get me started on dollar coins in this country. It would be way cheaper to have dollar coins v. bills, but no one will switch to coins until they phase out bills! For fuck's sake.

EpWs

@Lily Rowan Also can we phase out pennies while we're at it?

propermake

@Lily Rowan i want to know legitimately how much of this has to do with strippers. higher or lower than we assume?

i remember an incident years ago when my friend hugh tried to give a stripper a 10hkd coin instead of the equivalent note and she made a snide comment. and then my other drunken friend went apeshit about him embarrassing him in the club and a fight ensued. with spitting involved. oh 20 year old american boys in asia, good times.

Lily Rowan

@propermake I heard somewhere recently that actually the armored truck industry is a big player -- coins = heavier = more gas = more expensive to transport.

But I have also totally asked a stripper about it! And also wonder what goes on in, say, Canada.

Porn Peddler

@propermake HAY. i know there are plenty of Canadian pinners, so can any of them explain how things work in strip clubs over there? The version I've heard is that strippers will stick a loony to their ass/boobs/whatever with spit or something sticky and customers try to knock it off her by...throwing more loonies (i dont know how this benefits anyone but the stripper and why it has to be a game of oh my god ow stop throwing coins at me this is horrible) THIS CAN'T BE TRUE, CAN IT?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE CLASSY UP THERE YOU DON'T THROW HEAVY-ASS COINS AT YOUR STRIPPERS DO YOU?

gobblegirl

@Third Wave Housewife I have no idea but I assume strippers are given fives.

propermake

@gobblegirl that's what happens in the uk. but a 5 gbp is a lot, isn't it? there's a big difference between $1 tip and a $8? dollar tip.

EpWs

@Third Wave Housewife OW THAT SOUNDS PAINFUL.

Coal Tar Epoxy

@Third Wave Housewife They incorporate loonie and toonie throwing into their act. Part way through they get a bucket and the goal is to get the coins in that.I won a poster of one of the girls in Fort McMurray. So classy

Xanthophyllippa

@propermake Yay yay REAL Upstaters! None of this "Westchester" shit for us.

Porn Peddler

@Xanthophyllippa Does this mean there are other Finger Lakes pinners?! CAN WE HAVE A FINGER LAKES PIN UP? (I haven't found any other pinners in my city but Finger Lakes?!)

Xanthophyllippa

@Third Wave Housewife: I'm displaced (to the Upper Midwest) and won't be back that way until summer, I'm afraid. :(

boyofdestiny

Gah, damn you, West Virginia! Until that infernal New River Gorge Bridge was built, my beloved hometown's Bayonne Bridge was the longest steel arch span bridge in the world. Fortunately, the reign of terror is over, as China has outdone West Virginia. Twice!

Alixana

@boyofdestiny Oh no, that is so sad! I have driven across West Virginia far too many times, and that bridge was my second-favorite part, after the Robert C. Byrd interchange that took me to the Robert C. Byrd rest area along the Robert C. Byrd highway.

atipofthehat

@Alixana

You haven't reallllllly travelled West Virginia until you've driven Corridor H.

There's nothing like speeding along a full-sized Interstate Highway* that crosses the tops of the mountains with no other drivers in sight....

*pending

Alixana

@atipofthehat Wow, that is going to be gorgeous. But yeah, that's not really my part of West Virginia (which was the 3.5 hours of West Virginia keeping me from getting from NC to my manfriend in Pittsburgh as quickly as I wanted).

RK Fire

I love how the bear on Alaska's quarter is all like "oh shit? am I going to be able to catch another fish?" It's okay, Alaskan Bear! You have a fish in your mouth, remember? There there.

SuperGogo

Sometimes Hairpin commenters cannot get enough of hipster-mocking and so are quite tickled by the description of Virginia's quarter.

desi

sometimes you forgot the puerto rico state quarter! http://www.statequarterguide.com/images/2009-Puerto-Rico.jpg

EpWs

@desi Sometimes state quarters want to include both phallic and mammarian imagery.

Bittersweet

@desi: Another quarter I don't have in my collection! Gah! /ongoing coin dork spaz

applestoapples

I like the Dick Whitman guess for Abraham Lincoln's secret identity, but I'm pretty sure all clues on that Illinois coin point to him being a Timelord.

one cow.

@applestoapples A Timelord with an amputated leg, at that!

karion

Brills. This was so very 'pinny.

I was giggling at Vermont(14. Sometimes state quarters are just so Vermont. (Vermont)), and didn't really get it together for another five minutes.

4and20blkbirds

@karion I can't tell if the quarter and the flag both being described as "so Vermont" is a good thing or not? I mean, I'm from VT and I love it, but is being Vermonty a good thing to out of staters?

wee_ramekin

@4and20blkbirds Don't worry, you're good :). Vermont is what every state wishes it could be.

EpWs

Look, y'all, my state is the only one with magical talking animals, so clearly we're winning here.

Lacey Tobias@facebook

Pssst... Hey, New Jersey, it's Pennsylvania. Washington crossing the Delaware is sort of our thing, what with having the national cemetery and the state park, but we're going to let you have this one. Why? We feel pretty bad for you that "Jersey Shore" ruined the Jersey shore.

fondue with cheddar

@Lacey Tobias@facebook Much appreciated. New Jersey gets a pretty bad rap, as you know. We thank you for lending us your Washington crossing the Delaware and will treat it with great care and respect.

atipofthehat

@Lacey Tobias@facebook

The shore is definitely not ruined. Unless you fear Methodists?

boyofdestiny

@Lacey Tobias@facebook Hey, Pennsylvania, thanks for checking in! I'm actually glad you called. Me and some of the other states are beginning to think you might have a problem. First you stole Boston-born Benjamin Franklin from Massachusetts, and now you're trying to steal Washington's Crossing from New Jersey, even though the Battle of Trenton, the whole reason for the crossing in the first place, happened in New Jersey. You've already got Tastykakes and Wawa. We don't think you need to try to swipe things from other states.

boyofdestiny

@atipofthehat You can't be scared of folks who throw such an awesome flea market.

Equestrienne

@Lacey Tobias@facebook We also feel pretty bad that your quarter is more "Raft of the Medusa" than "Washington Crossing the Delaware".

atipofthehat

@Equestrienne

The Raft of the Medusa Crossing the Delaware is my new favorite painting.

Cavendish

Wisconsin is my favorite because it has a cow *and* cheese. I love cows and cheese!

highjump

@Cavendish And the state motto is awesome!

Xanthophyllippa

@highjump No, it's "forward." (Har har.)

Or, as it has been rephrased in the last 10 months or so, "Forward, Not Backward."

Onymous

Ohio: so miserable that low Earth orbit wasn't far enough away.

atipofthehat

@Onymous

Ohio: "Well, people who did some PRETTY IMPORTANT THINGS were born here. And left. To do those things. Um, somewhere else...."

Marzipan

@atipofthehat Hey, John Glenn came back! In looking him up on Wikipedia, I learned a few fun things:

"Tenth and latest person to have received multiple ticker-tape parades in a lifetime."

"NASA psychologists determined during Glenn's training that he was the astronaut best suited for public life."

And, in a senate race against Glenn, "DeWine used the memorable campaign slogan, "What on earth has John Glenn done?"

Haha, what?

atipofthehat

@Marzipan

Still, I would have gone with "high in the middle and round on both ends."

Equestrienne

Headed Horseman needs to sink into his heels and shorten his right rein. Amateur!

EpWs

@Equestrienne He also needs to attach his saddle to his horse.

Equestrienne

@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I think I see a hint of girth there...?

EpWs

@Equestrienne Iiiiidunno, I doubt that saddle's attached with anything more than a prayer. Good balance, Revere!

SongToSing

HEY! Michigan has FIVE Great Lakes!

Even better than four!

highjump

@SongToSing You have ONE named after you. And your state is not the only one that borders them. Another whole country borders them!

redheaded&crazy

@highjump yeah a totally LAME country that doesn't even have special quarters for each of its provinces! So who cares what they think anyway.

fleurdelivre

Sometimes state quarters are so spot on (Louisiana).

Tulletilsynet

@fleurdelivre
Sometimes pelicans stare, accompanied by trumpets, when you remove the lid from Louisiana and smoke pours forth.

gobblegirl

Sometimes state quarters are just totally ripping off the Canadian dollar (looking at you, Minnesota).

emilylitella

PUT A BIRD ON IT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XM3vWJmpfo

norahelizabeth

re: #26: Michigan has five great lakes

SongToSing

@norahelizabeth Thaaaaaaank you! I tried to point that out twice and everyone yelled at me because Michigan doesn't actually touch Ontario. It's still a Great Lake and it's still ours! :)

Xanthophyllippa

@SongToSing No, that one belongs to Upstate New Yorkers. Sorry. You can't have it.

slutberry

Michigan: sometimes state quarters have a vomiting, mean-eyed wolf who stole your mitten?

lue
lue

I was so disappointed when the Oregon quarter came out. No Oregon trail? Really? I mean, crater lake is cool, I guess.
Also, this read like a Todd Parr book, which is awesome.

screwball cate

@lue I dunno...I got soooo sick of hearing about the Oregon Trail and Lewis and Clark when I was a kid in Oregon. Crater Lake is cool cuz it's a lake in a crater!

punkahontas

This made me laugh out loud so many times, and I really needed it. I thank you. Great job.

screwball cate

OMG awesome. For me, making fun of Idaho for potatoes will never stop being hilarious. Potatoes!

DangerDangerDanger

@screwball cate I agree, but mostly because Maine potatoes are better but I'm still jealous.

thebestjasmine

Why is poor Abraham Lincoln's leg all cut off? He gets shot while watching a play, and then this insult?

I wanted the Golden Gate Bridge to be on the California quarter, I was bummed that it was stupid John Muir. Though I adore Yosemite, so that part made me happy.

piggie

I would totally pay more than a quarter to see "Trainsformers."

alsoknownas

This museum educator feels the need to shout out to Iowa. Only state to mention artist by name? What up, Grant Wood!!

DanDanDanDan@twitter

oh, Trainsformers already exists you lucky lucky train fans

http://books.google.com/books?id=ChS8Jm6BJm4C&lpg=PP1&pg=PP1#v=onepage&q&f=false

laurel

Sea anemone, my ass. That's a branch coral if I've ever seen one, Connecticut.

My Number is my address

What about the Northern Marianas?

oh, george

I was so excited that ALL the quarters were featured here. I guess cause they're all ridiculous, you know? And otherwise I never would have known this double-dibs-ing of the wright brothers business. WHA.

Also: DICK WHITMAN!

oh, george

@rora but what wait where is Guam guys

Ted Taylor@facebook

Not sure what you mean by self-invented nickname. Maryland's nickname "Old Line State" goes back to the American Revolution. Most Marylanders are familiar with it.

http://www.aomol.net/html/oldline.html

karm0n

@Ted Taylor@facebook Seriously. What is author's beef with Maryland? She ragged on our flag and now she's ragging on our nickname, which George Washington might have given us. Even if he didn't, it certainly wasn't self-invented. If you're going to talk smack, do research first.

http://www.msa.md.gov/msa/mdmanual/01glance/html/nickname.html

MrsLlama

UNNNNNNNNNGH I LOVE THIS SERIES SO HARD.

AI collected ALL the quarters, the natural way not by buying them, and I keep them in a large holder thing that I got at Barnes and Noble in 2000. It is one of my life's crowning achievements/prized possessions.

It also has a slot for the Sacajawea dollar, which was given to me for my collection by a dude I sweated circa 2001.

I get INORDINATELY excited about these things (quarters! history! facts! flags and shit!). It is so not ordinate at all.

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